#it's also a very pretty sounding song i think but it's like
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The Masked Ballerina
Mafia!Yunho x ballerina!reader
angst, light fluff 6k
TW: mentions of fighting, abuse, violence, swearing, weapons. As usual, please let me know if I missed something.
Please read at your own discretion.
Where Yunho's search for excitement leads him to the Ballet.
AN: Heavily inspired by the Ice On My Teeth MV. In my mind this exists in the same universe as my Mafia!Hongjoong fic. The chess lore goes hard in this one. Enjoy lovelies 🤍
Also in case anyone cares, the song reader dances to is Masquerade Suite: Maskarad at about 1:18 is when Yunho starts tapping and 1:23 is when he sees their face
MASTERLIST
It’s very rare that Yunho goes out alone. Normally he travels with his guards, a new rule put in place after the Wooyoung incident. He understands its another layer of protection in case someone decides to get a little too close. especially if one of their enemies decides to put a hit out on him. Which of course has happened more times than he can count, but his guards don’t let anyone get within talking distance. It's always kind of fun to him. Watching some dumb soldier try to charge at him. Part of Yunho wishes his guards would just let them through. That way he could have a little fun. Just the thought makes his hands twitch. God is he aching for a good fight. But he knows that would never happen. They would never allow it. It’s their sole duty to protect him. One of their eight bosses who are far too precious to lose.
Yunho sighs at the thought. His breath coming out in front of him in the cold night air. He knows it's silly to want to get into a bit of trouble. With the power he holds he should be excited at the people who bow before him. But he can't help but want something more. A change of pace. Like tonight and his new habit of sneaking out once he knows the others are busy or sleeping. It started on a whim, his restlessness driving him over the edge. It was normally pretty bad, but this night he swore if he didn’t do something he would go insane. He found himself creeping down the hallway, waiting for just the right moment when he knew the guards would step away before making a dash to the street. He spent the next few hours wandering the city. The solitude was refreshing, not having anyone hovering over him. While it gave him a little rush the first few weeks , the thrill has already started to fade. His little nights out becoming something too close to a routine.
He’s done his best to spice it up a bit, trying to find different routes. But with legs as long as his, there’s only so much he can do before he’s seen it all. The more he dwells on it, the worse he starts to feel. He tugs the hood of his sweater farther over his head, huffing in annoyance. With his mood slowly souring, he thinks it’s best to run back home. He finds himself turning towards the dark alley. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that he gravitates towards the shadows. He’s always been his skill, hiding in the shadows until he strikes. Of course nowadays he’s more of a boss, giving people his orders. And while it’s nice, can anyone really blame him for missing the action? I mean he’d even be happy to even do a simple hit. Give him a rookie task, hell he’ll take anything at this point. He realizes he sounds a bit like an addict. But God would it kill to have just a bit of excitement in his life?
He turns to walk into the alley. He's so distracted he doesn't pay attention to the figure hiding in the shadows.
“Hold it.” a voice calls out.
He’s pinned swiftly against a wall. A small breath knocked out of him, as he stumbles into it.
Yunho looks down to see a gun pointed at his chest. He’s so caught off guard it takes him a second to register what he’s looking at. His eyes trail up the arm holding the gun, finding a masked figure in front of him. At Least a head shorter than him and clearly in way over their head.
He looks up at the sky, a baffled smile finding its way onto his face.
This isn’t what I meant.
If Yunho didn’t know any better he’d think he’s in a comedy movie. One where he’s the bud of all the jokes.
“I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you,”
Ah yes the tiny thief.
Yunho looks back down, the person digging the gun into his chest. He only blinks in response.
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” they snap, “Just give me your money and no one has to get hurt.”
Yunho grabs the hand holding the gun, nudging it out of the way.
“I don’t have any money. Now if you’ll excuse me-” he starts to say, but is swiftly cut off.
“What? Are you stupid, I said-”
Yunho rolls his eyes, any other night he’d probably entertain the idea of a brawl. But tonight he’s tired and just wants to be back home. This person clearly either doesn’t know what they’re getting themselves into. He supposes it’s the plain clothes he chose to wear out that make him somewhat unrecognizable. That and the fact that he doesn’t have his usual entourage hanging around him.
Before they can get another word out he grips their arm, raising the gun up to the sky. He tugs the thief towards him, forcing them to stumble into his chest. They gasp in shock, grip loosening on the gun with the movement. Yunho pulls it away with ease, disarming it and dropping the remaining bullet in a single breath.
“What the fuck,” the masked figure says, clearly bewildered.
They look up, staring wide eyed up at him. It’s only then that Yunho takes notice of their eyes. One a normal color. And the other a stark contrast. Gray in color, mirroring the dark clouds above the pair. The snow continues to fall around the two, silence filling the air. It's in this brief moment that he’s able to really look at them. In the small window of the ski mask he sees the bruises around their eye, the skin clearly swollen and discolored with a black eye. It's easy enough to guess that a person must have given it to them, he’s seen enough beatings to know. As bad as he feels, he doesn’t have the energy for this.
“Look. It’s been a long day. I’m tired,” he starts softly.
Yunho calmly lowers their arm, dropping the gun into their open palm. He takes a step backwards, de-escalating the situation.
“I’m just trying to go home,”
The thief looks down at the gun in their hand briefly. They glance back up at him, eyes now teary.
Yunho gives them a tight lipped smile, gently letting them go. He walks past them, the thief, turns only able to watch in shocked silence. Yunho only makes it a few steps away before he feels the need to stop. He can’t explain it, but there’s a nagging tug he feels in his mind.
He turns to face the thief, who stands there silently, still watching him. They somehow look smaller like this, vulnerable, defeated. He thinks back to the bruising he saw underneath the mask. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know something is more is going on than just a petty crime.
“For what it’s worth, I hope whatever it is you’re going through gets better,” he says sincerely.
Despite the actions of the masked figure, he understands what it’s like. Desperation is an old friend of his. A friend that led him down an uncertain path, that thankfully ended in his favor. But he knows it isn't that way for everyone. He gives them one last smile, hoping it conveys more than what his words would.
“Have a good night”.
With that he turns around continuing to walk down the alley. The thief continues to watch him go, watching him disappear into the cold night.
Yunho’s walks don’t last another week. He’d been able to squeeze in two more days of walking before he’d given up. Far too bored. The short-lived adventure was nice while it lasted. But again he finds himself looking for something else, something outside of his normal routine.
That's how he finds himself squished into a small seat, front row to a ballet Jongho had been begging to see. Something very common for their household. He’d only tagged along because Seonghwa had to miss it, a last minute meeting with Hongjoong and another group.
And while this isn’t his usual thing, he will admit the show is quite good. To his right, San is clearly not as impressed, He’s only become more restless as the first hour passed by. Now practically squirming in his seat. He leans forward in his seat, glancing around at the others.
“Do we have to sit through this whole thing?” San asks, doing a poor job at whispering.
“Shhh,” Jongho says from his left side.
“Is it at least almost over?” he prods.
“Shhh!” Jongho shushes, louder than the first time.
“But it's boring,” he says, having given up on whispering all together.
Jongho leans forward in his own seat, shooting daggers at San.
“It’s not boring, you just don’t know how to appreciate art,” he snaps. He gives one last glare before turning his attention back to the stage. Mingi snickers from his seat on San’s right.
San pouts, sulking back into his seat. Yunho can’t help but smile at the exchange. He nudges his shoulder, leaning closer to him.
“Lighten up, it’s not that bad. I’m sure you can find some part of it to enjoy,” Yunho whispers. Mingi grins leaning over as well.
“The dancers are quite pretty," he says, nodding towards the stage.
Yunho rolls his eyes as San perks up at the mention of the dancers. It’s like he’s just noticed their existence after the past hour.
“Not what I meant, but to each their own I guess,” he chuckles quietly.
San pays him no mind. Now hyper focused on the performance, or performers, in front of him.
Yunho watches the dancers, enjoying how easily their movements flow with the music. He recalls the dream his teenage self had of dancing. He was quite good at it too. He even had a scholarship waiting for him, hell he’d all been packing to leave for school. But alas life doesn’t turn out the way it does in movies, now does it?
A series of hiccups and stumbling led him to where he is now. One eighth of the biggest family in the country. A rook in a set so carefully crafted, that nothing could stand in its way. Never in his life did he think he’d end up here. But when he glances on either side of him, seeing his brothers makes him think that there was nowhere else he’d rather be.
Despite the performance in front of him, he finds his mind wandering, still longing for something new. Anything really. He knows he sounds ungrateful, bratty even. But goddamn would it be nice for a sliver of excitement.
Fate is funny with her timing as per usual. Clearly having enough of Yunho’s whining she’s intending to smack Yunho right in the face with his desires.
At that moment the dancers step forward right to the edge of the stage. Bodies dipping into a bow with the sway of the music. The costumes glint with the stage lights, drawing Yunho’s attention back to the present.
Yunho ignores the low whistles undoubtedly from San and MIngi. He does his best to refocus on the performance. He taps his fingers along to the music, counting the beats of the dance in his head.
It truly is comical the way the way the music builds, unknowingly leading Yunho to his fate.
The dancers look up at the next beat and Yunho comes face to face with the person in front of him. A ballerina with an eye color that wouldn’t shock anyone, if it weren’t for the other resembling dark storm clouds in the sky. A set of eyes that he’s only seen once, but he could never forget. Yunho feels his heart skip a beat, a small smile tugging at his lips at the memory.
Now this is exciting.
Yunho also takes notice that the bruising is nowhere in sight. Aside for some light swelling, it’s practically invisible. He presumes it’s whatever makeup and other styling that’s required for the show. The dancer takes no notice of Yunho, clearly engulfed in the performance. In three beats the dancer is off, prancing to the other end of the stage. Yunho’s eyes now glued to them. A moth to a flame, a spark.
Yunho continues to watch, taking notice of the way they glide. As if they were a wind up toy, made only to dance across the stage. The costume only adds to the image. While Yunho knows each costume is made to fit like a glove for every performer, this one is different. For this ballerina it doesn’t appear to be made, but to simply be a part of them. Everything about the way they bring the performance to life looks so effortless. This clearly suits them, in his opinion.
The performance ends in a flourish, the audience erupting into a deafening applause. The dancers gather on stage, taking their final bows. Yunho glances on either side of him. Jongho no doubt will stop the conductor and offer his appreciation. San and MIngi both speak in hushed whispers, already planning their approach with whatever dancer that's caught their eye. But Yunho only has eyes for one dancer. He easily slips away from the others, off to meet his masked ballerina.
“That bastard, that’s what he did to you?” Minji asks, turning your face in her hands gently.
When you’d removed your makeup she’d all but elbowed her way through the others leaving for the night. She’d all but dragged you into her own dressing room, a murderous look in her eye as she scanned your face. After a bit of fussing, you reluctantly tell her about your interaction with your director. How after a bit of back and forth he’d swung his fist, leaving you with a swollen eye. if looks could kill, you’d swear Mr.Hak would be dead if he were in the room with the way Minji glares. You’d done your best to hide it from her, knowing she’d react this way.
You grab her hands, pulling them away from you.
“I’ll be fine, it’s nothing a little makeup can’t fix,” you say calmly.
She makes a face immediately, a lecture forming on the tip of her tongue.
“I know what you’re going to say. But you know I can’t leave. Not yet at least.
“I know. But that doesn’t mean you let him do this to you either y/n,” she says bitterly.
“It was my fault, I kept pushing it and-” you don’t get to finish, Minji cutting you off.
“Like hell it was! I don’t give a fuck how long he’s been in charge, Hak has no right to be doing this to anyone,” she fumed, face growing red with each word.
"Minji. I promise I’m okay,” You say soothingly. She sighs, taking a few calming breaths.
“At Least let me give you something. I don’t have much, but hopefully the money will help you out,” she says, starting to walk towards her bag. You grimace, the thought of taking from her when she’s struggling just as much as you makes you feel sick.
“You will do no such thing,” you say. You walk over to her, stopping her from looking through it.
“But-”
“I’ll find a way to make it work. You know I always do,” you say, giving her a small smile. Minji contemplates, before giving in.
“Fine, but please tell me if you need help. And I don’t care who he thinks he is, you say the word and I’ll kick his ass myself,” She says.
That gets you to laugh, rolling your eyes.
When you first started, you'd learned rather quickly that Minji was hot-headed. Fierce in a way that you weren’t. You think perhaps that is why she befriended you so quickly, sensing you’d need a backbone of a friend. Minji was like an older sister. Someone who wanted the best for you, even if her way of showing it could be a little over the top. But you loved her regardless.
“Thank you Minji, really,” you say, pulling her into a hug. She hugs you back, holding you close.
“Okay, well I’m heading out hun,” she says, letting you go. She slings her bag over her shoulder.
“Get home safe,” you say, opening the door for her. She flips the lights off, leading you back out into the hallway.
“You too. Don't stay here too long,” she says, giving you a pointed look.
“I won't,” you say.
You walk her until you reach the door to your dressing room. She stops, turning to give you one final hug. With one last squeeze, you let her go. She gives you a final wave, before turning and leaving.
When she’s out of sight, you sigh, shoulders dropping. You’re quiet as you open the door to your dressing room. You flick on one of the smaller switches, the lights of your vanity illuminating the room.
You walk over, dropping yourself into the seat unceremoniously. You glance at yourself in the mirror, looking over the black eye for what feels like the hundredth time. The memory of that night, playing in your head like a loop. When you’d first graduated from your arts program you’d been so excited to start your career. It had been hell to make it through. Your heterochromia made it a nightmare to be a dancer. Every audition and casting left you feeling defeated. Each director or choreographer turning you away due to your condition. You’d had to claw your way to performing on a stage, fighting tooth and nail to just be given a chance. It was exhausting but it was worth it. Or at least you thought it was.
Now as you stare at yourself in the mirror, the version that stares back at you is almost unrecognizable. How could you have ended up here? This couldn’t possibly be what life had in store for you, could it? Suffering for the sake of doing what you love? You could already see the way this vicious cycle was eating away at you. Cracking your soul into pieces bit by bit. You needed to get out. But only a miracle could save you at this point.
You shake your head, doing your best to shake the thoughts with it. You lean down, tugging the shoes off your feet, and the tights along with them. You groan as you sit back up, muscles still sore from the performance. With a small grunt, you take the last bit of your outfit off, throwing the top to one of the chairs across the room. This late in the night you know you’re one of the only people left in the building, leaving no reason for you to rush to get dressed. You pull your robe down from the corner of the vanity, sliding it onto your shoulders.
“That was a lovely performance,” a voice calls out, making you jump out of your skin.
You whip around clutching your robe closed as tightly as possible.
A figure emerges from the shadows slowly, coming to stand a few feet in front of you.
In the dimly lit room, you can make out the features of a man. He easily towers over you, dressed in all black like a shadow come to life.
You recognize him as one of the men you tried to rob a few nights back. It takes you a second, with his appearance being a stark contrast to the man who stumbled upon you in the alleyway. Here he looks put together, black suit, hair pushed back, and expensive watch gleaming on his wrist. It's then you take notice of the insignia on his coat. The A against his heart is simple. A circle surrounding it, stitched in a darker shade of black. But the sight still makes your blood run cold.
Holy shit, you’d tried to rob a member of Ateez, the most powerful family in the country. As if your luck couldn’t get any worse. Part of you wants to laugh at the entire situation, but the fear you feel keeps you rooted in place, scrambling for any escape.
“I didn’t think ballerinas were the type for armed robbery,” he hums thoughtfully.
You subtly shift your hand to the side of your chair, fingers trembling as you reach under the armrest.
“This is a private dressing room, you need to leave,” you say, doing your best to appear calm.
The man hums, reaching into his pocket. He pulls his hand out, holding it in front of him.
“Looking for this?” he asks.
Your heart sinks at the sight of your knife in his hand. He twirls it with ease, flicking it open to insect the blade. You press your hands into your thighs, swallowing nervously.
“Please, I’m sorry. I don’t want any trouble,” your voice trembles as you stare up at him. He turns his attention back to you, taking in your fearful demeanor.
He smiles, making a show of closing the knife slowly. He carefully sets the knife down on the shelf beside him, being slow in his movements. You eye it suspiciously, glancing between him and the knife.
“Don’t worry I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk,” he says calmly.
You nod slowly, still eyeing him warily. He nods back, still keeping his distance.
“Do you know who I am?” he asks.
Of course you know. Everyone in the country knows his name along with the other seven. The rook who stands in front of you is not to be messed with.
“Jeong Yunho,” you answer.
The way you say his name sends a bit of a thrill through him. He likes the ways it rolls off your lips.
“Hmm so you do know my name,” he says tilting his head to the side.
You can only give him a small nod. He begins to walk around the room examining the interior as he goes. You can’t help but keep your eyes trained on him. While he promised not to hurt you, you’d be stupid not to be on guard.
“Did you know who I was the other night?” he prods.
“No,” you answer quickly. You were desperate, but not desperate enough to mess with him. You curse your past self for being so oblivious. He chuckles, the sounds sending a shiver down your spine.
“It takes guts to step to a man twice your size like that,” he says, recalling your stupidity. He turns his sharp gaze towards you, further pinning you to your spot.
“But considering I can see the way you're shaking, I think there’s something else,” he says.
“What were you looking for when you came at me?”
“Nothing, I- I wasn’t looking for anything I swear,” you say a little too quickly.
Yunho glances at your swollen eye, letting out a sigh. He knows you’re lying, but he can’t blame you. There was no doubt he was a man to be feared, but right now he needed you to trust him.
“Look. I can tell you’re smart. So I know you wouldn’t have just decided to mug a stranger for fun,” he says, coming to stand in front of you once again.
“So what is it that you need, sweetheart?” He says softly.
You contemplate answering him. If he were here to hurt you, he would have done it already. He clearly wasn’t the type of man to waste his time. Despite your better judgement you choose to trust him.
“Money. I needed money,” you say quietly.
He tilts his head thoughtfully. The movement kind of reminds you of a puppy. If you weren’t partly terrified, you’d think it looks kinda cute in a way.
“You don't make enough, dancing?” he asks curiously.
“No, not really,” you say, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you.
“And the black eye, is that part of it?”
You freeze, looking at him in fear. Instinctively you wrap your arms around the edges of your robe, tucking it tightly against you. He notices the way you curl in on yourself. His gaze softens, offering you a sympathetic smile.
“I’m not here to judge you,” he says softly.
“They’re from the director,” you confess, quietly. He nods in understanding. He hesitates clearly wanting to say more. After a moment he clears his throat.
“May I?” he asks, nodding towards your face.
You think for a moment, before giving him a small nod.
He’s careful as he steps forward, doing his best not to startle you. He leans down, one hand coming to lean against the back of your chair. You feel goosebumps rise against your skin, as he lowers himself to be eye level with you. His other grabs your face gently, tilting your face from one side to the other. He’s delicate with the way he handles you. Strong hand gentle as he holds your chin with his fingers.
“He did this to you?” He asks finally, warm voice fanning across your face.
“Yes,” you answer, scared to speak too loudly. You feel your skin grow warm the longer he scans over your face. His cologne invades your sense with the proximity, it feels intoxicating in a way you can’t describe.
His face hardens, a look of anger flashing across his features. It scares you for a moment. But something about the look makes you want to soothe him.
“I asked for more after our last performance. He usually never aims for the face. I just wouldn’t drop it,” you explain, thinking back to a few nights ago.
Yunho is quiet, eyes scanning over the marks carefully. A fierce need to protect you burning inside him. He can’t explain it, but there’s something drawing him to you.There’s something about you he just can’t shake. A pull so strong, he doesn’t think he could fight it if he tried. Though he doesn’t think he’d want to anyways. He also takes the time to really look at you, finding you even more attractive up close. He’s already seen your eyes, but seeing them up close and personal, he can’t help but find them more alluring. After another moment of admiring you, he lets your face go, still keeping his proximity.
“Is it just you? Or are there others?” he asks.
“A few. Most of them quit before the first season is up. But some of us can’t,” you answer.
He only nods, clearly thinking something over. The gears turn in his head quickly, looking for a solution to your problems. After a moment, you see a twinkle appear in his eye. A mischievous twinkle that excites you, if you're honest with yourself.
“What’s your name?” he asks, breaking the silence.
“Y/n,” you say softly.
“Y/n”, he repeats.
The way your name drips from his lips, sends a jolt through you.
“Will you let me help you, Sweetheart?” he asks.
You don’t know what it is about him, but you find yourself trusting him. How crazy it is to trust a man like him. He could hurt you, with a snap of his fingers you’d be destroyed in an instant. But he could also be your miracle. You suppose you have nothing more to lose at this point.
You give him another nod, this one determined.
“Good,”
“Come with me,” he says, offering his hand out to you.
Going against every rational part of your brain, you take it. His hand is warm in yours. Something about it feels right, his larger hand holding yours ever so gently. Yunho thinks the same as he looks down at you. He’s so used to holding weapons, things that cause pain. But your hand fits so perfectly in his. Like it’s natural, like it was made to be there. He gently pulls you up from your seat, ready to take his new found excitement into action.
“Come in,” a voice barks out from the door in front of you.
You grimace, glancing at the men behind you. Yunho stands with three of the other members of Ateez, who you were introduced to. After getting dressed, Yunho led you to the others, who all looked at you with curious gazes. From there he had explained his crazy plan to all of you. Or at least you thought it was crazy. The other three didn’t even bat an eye. Jongho even looked excited, beaming at the plan laid before him.
Yunho looks down at you as you give him a small nod to enter. You open the door, walking inside. The other three follow you in. Mr Hak, your company director doesn’t bother looking up. He continues going through the work in front of him, only pausing to take another drag of his cigarette. The door clicks shut behind the last member.
“Who is it?” he barks out again.
“It’s y/n, sir,” you say, eyeing the men behind you again.
Your boss scoffs, rolling his eyes at the sound of your voice.
“This shit again. Look I already told you, you work for me got that? Everything you make comes to me. I own you. Now get out of my office before I-” he starts, voice booming in the small office.
He finally looks up, mid rant, doing a double take at the scene before him. His face goes pale at the sight of you and the four men that tower behind you. You don’t blame him. The sight of them had you shaking where you stood.
“Gentlemen, what a surprise. To-” he pauses, having enough sense to extinguish the cigarette.
He stumbles out of his chair, hastily coming to the front of his desk. He clears his throat as he does it, clumsily dropping into a deep bow.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks nervously.
They take over easily, polite smiles on their faces.
“Mr Hak, is it?” Yunho starts, eyeing the man before him.
“We just wanted to stop by. And bring our praises for the show,” he says adding a touch of sweetness to his voice.
“Yes, a spectacular performance indeed,” Jongho says, clapping his hands together.
“Thank you, we do our best,” Mr Hak says, sounding far too prideful. The response makes you roll your eyes.
Jongho hums, eyes sharp as he watches Mr. Hak.
“Of course. And that’s why we’re glad to be buying it off of you,” he says casually.
You do your best to hide the smug grin at the way your boss reacts.
“Buying?” he asks, clearly confused.
“Yes the theater, the shows, the performers. All of it.
“While I appreciate the offer, it's not for sale,” he chuckles.
“Nonsense,” San says, stepping forward.
He stalks towards Mr. Hak’s desk. Confidence leaking through each of his strides.
“I think you’ll find we’ve arranged a rather gracious deal, isn’t that right Mingi?” he states, glancing over at the taller member. Mingi hums in agreement, coming to stand next to San. Similar to Yunho, he towers over everyone with ease. The closer he gets, the more Mr. Hak shrinks in his spot. With the four in front of him he’s easily surrounded. Like an animal cornered.
“We have, but if you feel as though it needs some rearranging we could always have Hongjoong Hyung stop by. I’m sure he can squeeze in a few moments with his busy schedule,” his voice calm, but the implication clear.
You swear you see your boss’ heart stop as his eyes go wide. He lets out a nervous laugh, quickly waving his hands in front of him.
“That won’t be necessary,” he says quickly.
Smart choice, you think to yourself. Even an asshole like him wouldn’t be stupid enough to go against what the men behind you ask. Especially Kim Hongjoong of all people. There was no dealing with Kim Hongjoong. You’d heard the stories of those he visited, none had ever lived to tell of their exchange. That thought sends a shiver of fear through you.
“Good, then we have a deal,” Jongho says, clearly ending the conversation.
“Our men will escort you out,” he says, snapping his fingers. The door opens once again. Two guards walk in calmly, looking to the trio for orders.
“See to it that Mr. Hak collects all his belongings,” San orders, no longer smiling.
“He should have no need to return to this building after tonight,” Yunho adds, throwing a pointed look at your ex-boss.
The guards nod, moving towards your Mr.Hak quickly. With orders in place, the others begin to file out of the room.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” Jongho calls out over his shoulder, continuing to walk out without a second glance.
Yunho sets his hand on your shoulder, nodding towards the door. You follow him and the others out of the room. You glance back to see Mr. Hak warily eyeing the guards. You continue watching until the door to the office closes behind you.
The members continue walking down out into the foyer of the theater, .leading you outside
“So you’re really buying the theater?,” you ask, breaking the silence.
Jongho shugs, glancing up at the bright sign above the building. He has a soft glance in his eye as he eyes the theater appreciatively.
“I practically come here every other week, it was bound to happen eventually,” he says, waving his hand dismissively.
“Will you close it?,” you ask warily.
“Of course not,” he chuckles.
“And the other performers?,” you probe, Minji crossing your mind along with all the others,
“They’re jobs are safe, they will have the choice to stay or seek employment elsewhere. But no one will be forced to leave, you have our word,” Yunho says, soothing your worries.
You nod, letting out a shaky exhale. For the first time in months things were looking up for you. You were free of Mr. Hak, and you could continue to do what you love without being miserable.
“I can’t possibly thank you enough,” you say, emotion creeping into your voice.
You bow to them, taking a moment to wipe at the tears building in your eyes. The four smile at you, being unable to find you anything but adorable.
“We're not as scary as we look,” San says, throwing his arm around you in a friendly manner. “Well except maybe Mingi,” he says, glancing at the taller man. Mingi glares, reaching over to swat at him. San ducks out of the way, moving between Yunho and Jongho.
The action causes you to giggle. Maybe they were right about not being as scary as they look. Something about their presence felt comforting. Part of you wished you could get to know them a little more.
“So I guess this is goodbye then?” you ask somewhat disappointed.
“Well we do own the theater now, so we’ll be seeing you around,” Yunho says a little too quickly. You don’t notice the way his ears grow red at his mini outburst. The others do. Each of them giving each other knowing glances as they slowly make their way further down the street. Yunho mentally facepalms, knowing he’s never going to hear the end of this later. The next moment makes it worth it however.
You laugh, the twinkling sound making Yunho’s heart race in his chest. God was he screwed.
“I suppose that’s true,” you hum in agreement, a knowing look in your eyes. Something about seeing the tall man bush had the butterflies fluttering even harder in your stomach.
“So I’ll see you around?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
“I look forward to it,” you say, smiling brightly. With that you turn and walk down the street. You offer goodbyes to the others, before making your way across the street, an extra skip in your step. Yunho watches you go, content to watch you leave. Something telling him the adrenaline he feels is here to stay.
#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#atz x reader#ateez au#atz scenarios#atz imagines#atz fanfic#atz fic#atz au#✍🏼#writing
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SINGLE DAD!SAE ITOSHI
A/N: This isn't my usual content, but I was thinking about this scenario and I had huge baby fever so I couldn't NOT write it. I love Sae too much y'all. Also sorry for any spelling mistakes english ain't my first language.
Warnings: Mentions of death and grieving, Sae tries forcing his daughter to either eat her vegetables or go to school hungry (he doesn't go through with it)(this is a very brief scene but it could still be triggering to some people). STILL MOSTLY FLUFF I SWEAR.
Contents: Sae being a girl dad fr, y'all can't change my mind on this one, also Rin being an uncle. That's pretty much it. A little ooc (Rin mostly)
"Papaaaa" Mao complained, her voice echoing across the house and making Sae drop the dishes he was washing and walk across the house into her room to see what was going on... this time. Although he had a pretty good idea given her recent tantrums.
"Can't sleep?" he inquired, but he knew the answer as soon as she saw her curling up in her little bed and pouting, her doe teal eyes looking up to him as if to give him pity. "No, Mao, you cannot come sleep in my room."
"Why not?!"
"You've already been sleeping there all week... come on, you're a big girl, you can sleep on your own room."
"But I wanna be with you..." he sighed. It had seemed she had inherited his stubbornness, because sometimes it felt like there was just no way of making her change her mind when she was set on something. He leaned against the door a little, thinking about what to say that may change her mind.
"I know I was away for a while the last couple of weeks and I understand you missed me, but I can't have this conversation with you every single night."
"Why do you go away in the first place..."
"You know why, I have to for work." he countered, "And do not ask me why I can't bring you along, we've talked about this countless of times before. I don't go away for fun. If I bring you with me, you'll want to go everywhere with me and then you'll get fussy and mad because I'll be working all the time, or worse, you'll get bored to death in the hotel. Believe me, staying here is best for you when I go on business trips."
"But I just wanna be with you!!" his eye almost twitched in annoyance at the sight; he knew that tone of voice all too well. It was another tantrum coming his way, but still, he tried to remain calm for her sake.
"You're with me now."
"So can I sleep in your room?"
"No." then she threatened to start crying. He let out a low, defeated huff, holding back the urge to roll his eyes. She just wasn't giving up, was she? Pushing himself off the doorframe, he looked back at her before speaking. "Fine. Come on."
The little girl beamed, quickly jumping out of bed and running towards her father. She hopped with her arms up towards him asking to be carried, to which he complied. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and lifted her up, watching as she clung onto him as if he just came back from war or something. Could he really blame her, though? She had lost her mother and he was away all the time; it would be strange if she wasn't feeling lonely.
"This is the last time." he knew damn well that was a fat lie, but he still had to at least pretend to be firm. She would grow up to be a spoiled child otherwise, or at least that's what he was used to tell himself.
"Papa, sing me a song." Sae reconsidered his life decisions for a moment there, not gonna lie, but how could he honestly say no to those pleading eyes?
"Fine..." he sighed, his voice soft and low as he began humming whatever song he could think of on the top of his head. Still keeping a secure hold on her, Sae began rocking his daughter to further lure her to sleep. He held her with one arm so that he could close the door of her room, the soft click assuring him that everything was in order, and then started walking a few steps towards his.
By this point, little Mao was sound asleep on his arms, and he almost chuckled at the thought of his daughter refusing to sleep until she was with him. He carefully opened the door a few meters away and walked quitely to the bed, trying his best to not wake up the sleeping child on his arms, and set her down to rest. Once tucked in and comfortable, he let out a sigh of relief. Finally, the brat was asleep and he could be at peace. She could be so clingly and energetic sometimes... not that he cared that much, even though her restlessness was exhausting, it showed that she felt safe and loved enough to be her enthusiastic self around him without any regrets.
It was weird to him, like an unfamiliar sense of pride that surged at the sight of her young daughter bouncing around and playing endlessly. He would often look at her and think about how different her personality was from his, and how much it reminded him of her mother. Sae tried not to though, as he despised comparing his daughter to his late wife over and over again, but sometimes he just couldn't help it. From the way she smiled to the color of her hair... they were just so alike each other. He still kept all the memories from her close to his heart, which in a way made him feel guilty. Sae knew just how much his daughter yearned for a maternal figure; someone to talk to and educate her about girly stuff that he may not understand. He would watch her staring at the other kids with their moms and act like it really wasn't a big deal to avoid making him feel like he wasn't enough, but Sae knew better. It was obvious to him that his daughter absolutely adored him, and he was sure she thought he was enough, but he also knew that she missed having a mom. She missed her mom. He missed her mom too.
Normally he would avoid talking about it. It had been hard enough trying to explain to this small child that her mom wasn't coming home that night, or ever, let alone process his own grief at the loss of the only woman he once loved. If he cried, he had to do it when his daughter wasn't looking, because the last thing he needed to add to his worries was worrying his daughter to the point of avoiding everything that may set off a bad mood on him. It wasn't her fault, he just felt his heart break everytime he took her home and she pointed at a framed picture of her mom exclaiming 'Mama!' Or 'Hey mama', 'I'm back, mama', 'Miss you, mama'. He would hold back his tears and take a deep breath whenever she tried asking if she could visit her mom in the place she was at (as he initially had told her it was a place where she couldn't come back), having to explain carefully that she couldn't. She would get mad and ask why a bunch of times, but he didn't have the heart to tell her 'She's dead' straight up. He really tried to just give her an excuse like that she was sleeping forever or something, as if she was in the sleeping beauty, but then she just began asking if a true love kiss from him would wake her up. She was a child, after all, and she hadn't quite grassped the concept of death yet.
He let himself watch her sleep for a few moments, sinking in the stillness of the night. Taking care of a young child made this moments rare, and he treasured whatever rest he could get. He reached out to the nightstand and picked up the heater remote, pressing a couple of buttons to turn it on a bit; just enough to keep the room warm, as he knew nights at that time of the year could become fairly cold and he didn't want his daughter getting sick. And as expected, she got very evidently more comfortable as the room became warmer, falling into a deeper state of sleep. She had only carried her favorite bunny plushie from her room to hold onto and apparently that was all she needed to fall asleep. He plopped himself onto the bed as well and fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion of the day, not even caring about closing the door or the half-washed dishes he left on the sink or even the fact that he hadn't even changed his clothes. He was DONE for the day.
Although, the next day he most definitely regretted it.
He had to wake up early and finish cleaning all the mess his daughter had left throughout the day, plus now he had to make breakfast, wake her up and get her to school. Sae was a rather organized person and he would normally not find himself in this type of situation, but it seemed like ever since he became a father he was running short of time for everything no matter how much he tried to plan in advance.
"Morning." Sae greeted his still somewhat sleepy child as she yawned and climbed the chair infront of her to eat. "Slept well?"
"Mhm..." Mao mumbled, rubbing her eyes with one arm while she still clung to her favorite plushie with the other. He placed a plate on the table for her and then one for him, along with his usual morning coffee and the only damned brand of juice that she liked for some reason and that he had to drive for an hour to buy.
"Come on, eat. You have preschool today."
"Can't I skip? It's snowing so muuuuch." the kid dropped her head onto the table and sighed, clearly displeased about going to school.
"Apparently it's not snowing enough to cancel your classes. Now, please, eat."
He watched intently as his daughter took a close look at the food, pouting and feeling now rather down since she wasn't allowed to skip school. She took a couple of bites of her breakfast and she had a few sips of her juice, then she pushed her plate a little to indicate she was done.
"Thanks for the food." she was about to get off the table when she was interrupted by her father's stern voice.
"Not so fast. There is no way you're full with just that."
"Yeah I am..." such an obvious lie.
"Why aren't you eating? And I want the truth."
She pouted, AGAIN, before reluctantly giving an answer.
"It has green peppers on it..." and there you have it; this was the real challenge of Sae's day. It was easier winning a soccer match than getting his daughter to eat her vegetables.
"I told you, they're good for you."
"But they're gross! Can I eat something else please?" this is Sae's life now. Even winning a soccer match was easier than getting his daughter to eat her vegetables.
"Mao, I spent a lot of time making breakfast for you, can you please finish your food? You still need to get ready to go to school. I don't have any time to make you more breakfeast; I have to go work."
"But... I really don't like them... please?" that was the last straw for him. He didn't mean to sound cruel, but he was tired and didn't know what else to say.
"Mao Itoshi, you're staying on this table until the last bite of food on your plate is eaten. If you don't, you'll go to school hungry and I'm not making you anything else after I pick you up. You are eating this one way or another." he almost instantly regretted the harsh tone of voice he had used, as he saw his kid's eyes begin watering. He passed his hands through his face in exasperation, took a deep breath, and walked around the table to pick her up. He exhaled, trying his best to remain calm before speaking to her again, as he could feel Mao's tears on his clothes and the little shudders she made at the effort to hold back tears. Sae patted and passed his fingers through his daughter's hair in a poor attempt to soothe her, but the damage was already done. She was holding thay bunny plush in her arms like a lifeline. "Sorry, okay? I didn't mean to be so hard on you. I woke up early to make your breakfast and you just took a few bites of it... I got frustrated, but that wasn't a reason to force you to eat something you don't like. I'm just saying, green peppers aren't the end of the world; they can be tasty."
"I guess I can eat them..." he sighed.
"No, you'll just be eating them out of guilt. You shouldn't do things you don't want to just because you're afraid of someone's bad mood." he thought for a moment. Mao eating the green peppers wasn't the ideal result now, she was hurt and vulnerable and that would only teach her that she should fear and comply which wouldn't end well on the long run... still, he did spend his time making her breakfast and didn't want it to go to waste. "Tell you what. I'll eat the green peppers for today, if you promise you'll at least try them next time, and I'll find another recipe to try to make them taste better. Sound good?" she nodded, still hiding her face from him by pressing it against his clothes. "Good. Now, I really don't have more time to make you more breakfast, so let's pick out the stuff you don't like just this once, and only this one time. I seriously need you to try to learn to eat your vegetables."
"...'kay."
"Let's hurry then; you still need to get ready for school."
Sae for sure was missing having some help on the raising of his daughter. He would never admit it though, he would try and pretend parenting was the easiest thing in the world when in reality he was fighting for his life everyday trying to shape this little human into a good person, and refraining from helping her while she failed at tying her shoe countless of times before admiting she didn't know how to do it (this is why he only buys her velcro).
He left the tiny sparkling pink shoes on the ground as he heard the doorbell, then looked at the clock hanging from the wall nearby. 8:14am, who in the world was it this early? Sae indicated his daughter to stay still on the couch before walking towards the door, and right after seeing the face on the other side he furrowed his eyebrows in surprise.
"Rin? What are you doing here?" his little brother then proceeded to push him aside and step inside as if it were his own house.
"Move, I didn't come here for you." his eyes traveled the room and eventually fell on the little girl sitting on the couch, and in a blink of an eye he had lifted the little girl up and hugged her tightly. Despite her surprise, she could obviously recognize her only favorite uncle.
To everyone's surprise, Rin absolutely adored his niece. Sure he had problems with his older brother but he didn't have to take it out on an innocent child that had done nothing to him. Besides, she was so adorable and bubbly and so NOT like Sae. Rin sometimes would stare at her in amazement, wondering how it was possible that this was truly Sae's spawn; yet the teal eyes and lower lashes were undistinguishable. She was an Itoshi alright.
"Umclw Rwin!" her voice came out muffled, as she was currently being burried on his chest, but the sentiment was there.
"What are you doing here?" Sae was straight to the point, not even caring about his cold tone of voice.
"I just came back from my morning run." the younger Itoshi explained briefly, still not looking at him in the eye. "Thought I'd stop by to say hello."
"To her."
"Yes, I didn't want to talk to your pathetic-"
"Language."
"Shut up."
"Don't hug her when you're still sweaty and gross, she just took a bath." he continued scolding, earning a groan of frustration from his brother.
"Your dad is so annoying." his niece giggled at the obvious beef between his dad and uncle. She didn't really understand it but it was funny from her point of view. "Such lukewarm rules he has."
"Lukewarm!" she repeated.
"Rin, stop teaching her those words. Mao, say bye to your uncle; we have to get you to school."
"Awwwwww, can he come with?"
"Fine, whatever will get you to actually go to school. Rin, let's go."
"Don't boss me around." he complained, walking with his niece on his arms towards the door and setting her down. "Let's put on our shoes, shall we?" he took the shoes Sae had set down earlier and helped the kid put them on with ease. Of course, he had dealt with this countless of times before. Sae had the bad habit of using him as a free nanny for whenever he had to travel, which was often.
"Uncle Rin, how do you go running with all this snow? It's so cold!"
"When you run, you sweat and then it doesn't feel so cold." he finished tying the kid's shoelaces and took her by the hand, then Sae picked up a scarf wrapped it carefully around her neck.
"Don't take it off." he warned. "It's cold out, I don't want you getting sick."
"Okay, papa." he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before taking her free hand and not so subtly making Rin let go of her as he finally opened the front door. They were quickly hit by the cold winter air, and Mao shuddered a little at the sudden change in temperature.
Stil, Sae made sure his hand was holding hers tight and that she kept herself on his field of vision. There would be someday in the future where she wouldn't need him to hold her hand; he had to treasure these moments and not let her go while he still could.
#blue lock#blue lock fanfiction#blue lock fluff#itoshi sae#sae itoshi#rin itoshi#itoshi rin#blue lock drabbles#sae itoshi fluff#rin itoshi fluff#sae itoshi x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk#bllk x reader#bllk fluff#bllk fanfic#bllk fic#bllk drabbles
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🎧
A SAD ONNNNE, noooo, gale. this song makes me sad every time especially now that i know the story behind why he wrote it
okayokayokay. my favorite lyrics are probably the beginning:
"now my dear, don't forget to write phone us any day or night have you got your money? here's your case wipe the tear from your face so she took the south bound train would she ever see again, that place, that town, that road or are they just a memory?"
annnnd the main part of it because although sad story, it is also very catchy to my brain and gets stuck in my head:
"another road, another lane another face, another name another man, another night what have we got her into? another faded hotel room an overrated changing tune another face, another night what have we got her into?"
#it's also a very pretty sounding song i think but it's like#a whole mix of things for me#however i love it very much#i don't know what overrated changing tune is#if#i#i THINK that's what he said#excuse me if i get some lyrics wrong i guess his music isn't famous enough to have lyrics online for all the songs#or even if they do#some of them are not accurate#anyway thank you!!!!!
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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[Image description: A digital drawing of a shot from the film La semana del asesino. It shows three hands holding a pair of binoculars. The hands belong to the characters Marcos and Néstor, although it is unclear which hand belongs to who, as they are indiscernible from one another in size and colour. One hand cups the bottom, and two hold onto either side. You can see the beginning of both of their shoulders, with Marcos' shoulder on the right and Néstor's on the left. There is a vague suggestion of a room in the background, with panelling and curtains. The lineart is a dark blue, and has very pronounced shadows. The colours for each element do not have any shading or lighting outside of this, except for the gleam on the binoculars. The colour scheme is desaturated and cold, mostly comprising of blues with small sections of yellows or even orange (for the binoculars' strap).]
Inktober - Day 5 (Binoculars)
Film - La semana del asesino (Eloy de la Iglesia, 1972)
#inktober#inktober 2024#la semana del asesino#la semana del asesino fanart#the week of the killer#the week of the killer fanart#marcos la semana del asesino fanart#néstor la semana del asesino fanart#digital art#im using the spanish title cos i used this director (albiet his 80s films primarily) for my spanish alevel irp so like#i just think it sounds better haha#also the week of the killer is still good but the more popular english title of the cannibal man is such a bad name for the film#only really one cannibal moment and even then thats tenuous#anyway tangent aside#great film great atmosphere#its quite gay (in the sense that concealed homosexuality may send u on a killing spree)#which is quite impressive considering the time and censorship it was made under#also it has pretty neat sfx stuff (very 70s) which i like :)#this shot and scene is 💛💛💛#also i know which hand belongs to who but i thought the close-up kinda conceals that which is nice <3#song of the day is pictures of you by oingo boingo#my favourite band but i feel like ive already said this b4#so obviously i think its a banging song
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Song of the Day: March 27
"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks
#song of the day#I'm still thinking about the Country Songs About Country Songs#this is actually a cover too though I never hear the original around anywhere#(it's by Darrell Scott who is also the originator for 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive'#turns out he's got a bunch of songs that got picked up and made somewhat more popular in the hands of other folks. an interesting legacy)#the best lines of this song to sing are also the bits About Country Music--well the whole song's about chasing the love of it#but this bit is bemoaning the kids these days you know. country music isn't what it used to be. why back in my day etc etc#it's so so so much fun to sing too because you get to exaggerate your 'I think's until they rhyme with 'Hank'. excellent work#'we listen to the radio to hear what's cookin / but the music ain't got no soul#now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard / they got money but they don't have Cash#they got Junior but they don't have Hank / I think I think I think / the rest is a long time gone'#it's fascinating to me to think about these songs in (saying 'historical' here is giving me psychic damage but) historical context#because the Darrell Scott original for Long Time Gone came out in 2000 and The Chicks released their version in 2002#so they were talking about the trend towards American jingoism in country music of the time#versus like Waylon Jennings in 1975 'Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way'#(I typed that and /then/ went back and looked up the release date and I'm so proud I got it right)#already bemoaning the state of country music in the 70s versus good old classic country like Hank Williams Senior sang#(Hank Jr covered Waylon's song in 1981. like yes it's a tribute to his father but also Hank Jr was a big push towards outlaw country#and has a few pretty famous songs himself about not singing like his daddy did. it just seems a strange choice to me)#and then Eric Church put out 'Lotta Boot Left to Fill' in 2009 calling out the shallowness of the country music scene of the time#(talking some only-thinly-veiled shit about a few of his peers in the process)#and then he released 'Stick That In Your Country Song' in 2021 and that /definitely/ put some backs up#that one's a less directed but more direct call-out if that makes any sense#no lines that are direct references to other artists' songs but stronger sentiments overall#not just general 'y'all are getting shallow prioritizing good times and high sales over genuine heart and integrity of craft'#but some straight up 'you have forgotten the face of your father' shit towards country artists and fans alike. the whole industry#a very good righteous-anger song
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I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?
like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life
#red said#it's not to my taste. tbh#content aside pop music is going through a very early 2000s breathy oversinging phase#hated it with xtina and alanis hate it with ariana and olivia sorry#it's a personal taste thing but to me however hard you go with the backing track that kind of soft pretty vocal style kind of#drags it back into midtempo sludge for me#also tbh it's just extremely normal music. like i went over to her yt bc people were talking about how Weird vampire is#it's not though????? it's super not????#anyway the only one I've got anything out of is good 4 u cause she sounds more involved and less self-pitying on it#every other Olivia song I've heard sounds kinda the same bc they all have the same earnest self-pity vibe#which is what a lot of people need out of music! music that makes them feel the depth of their anger and sadness!#but idk it's never done it for me i like there to be something of a tongue in cheek or a hysterical edge#i think most of the songs I've heard from her are just too controlled and polished for them to not sound to me#like she's the person who sees you crying cause your partner is in hospital and goes YEAH I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL#MY EX CHEATED ON ME 5 YEARS AGO AND IT REALLY TRAUMATISED ME AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT and then you have to comfort her#like i recognise she's a 20 year old making music for teenagers so that is. appropriate.#but i struggled with the wallowing then too. were i a Teen at school with Olivia's character i would be so desperate to tell GROW UP#and it's not the lyrics it really is the music#heartbreak is a perfectly good theme to write on but oh my god not every song about it needs to be a mouthful call to arms
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(credits to ssruis)
This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did
(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)
#circuses? heh.. yeah.. im familiar… jesters? oh#even better…. rellakinoko? now hold on this is already gonna be good… tsukasa tenma? im sold. the fish has been captured. im followinf the#sirens into the deepest parts of the sea and wont be coming back. Unfortunately i had gotten t1k (t571) on ensekai for phoenix and am still#bitter about it. Emu and nene came home but the ugly blonde didnt. This is why we’re having problems tsukasa#i have a mr showtime themed custom profile that needs to be finished aand i gotta work on my one for#tsukasa4#ill be more prepared for that one im certain of it#knocking on wood#PRAYING.#t500 would have been nice you know… unfortunately i ran out of resources.#i think the amount of time and love ive poured into making everything abt this event makes up for this though. Also this is gonna sound#obnoxious but i feel like one of the five people who actually. You know. Get the event. Like its importance which ill elaborate on in a#future post. Everybody wants to talk about this event but nobody wants to read the story#and the side stories Guysss ur missing out its so good when youre not forcing urself to think tsukasa has an ed and dont even know a single#thing abt acting yet believe one google search can prove that method acting is Absolutely Totally Going To Ruin His Life#i dont think fasting was alright it was pretty stupid but what he did doesnt make him have an ed or this or that#I do think you should be very. Very careful with method acting by the way. That can mess you up. But i dont think thats where theyll be#taking tsukasa in the future. Yes itd be nice to show the risks and get a You know be careful but its not as dark and This is gonna ruin hi#😞😨My poor baby!! As people think#omg i got sidetracked LET ME TALK ABT THE BINGO???1?1? Easily distracted ass#Uhm. Where do i begin. Nvm i dont wanna write too much more but this song truly does mean the world to me#And rella’s art is so goood my eyes are always glued to it. For some reason i keep having trouble fcing the expert chart for it on ensekai#ut was just fine on jpsekai. Frowny face. I could listen to the song all day though#Those instrumentals are popping offff i tell you#hidden circus#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wansho#commissioned song#prsk
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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I'm just mad curious.
It was hard to choose. They're sorta random order although I'm pretty set on those top 3 in that order.
And yes. I did go with Do I Wanna Know in my top 3. Come on. It's a Bucket list moment for AM fans. Also it's popular for a reason. If you tell me you don't want to inject that riff into your veins I don't know what to tell you (you're a liar. I don't believe you)
#okay yes#I know I missed many bops#but it was hard okay?#I was sitting long enough as it is#Cornerstone and Pretty Visitors should probanly be in here#also definitely Teddy Picker and the classic - Dancefloor#but cuts had to be made 🥺#vote! reblog! I'm just very curious#(also TBHC being at the top here should tell you why I have been so devastated with all the recent setlists)#(it's crazy. it wasn't even an immediate love-at-first-sight song for me.#But then towards the end of last year - BOOM and TBHC is the love of my life.#and then BOOM suddenly Alex doesn't feel like singing it anymore?? tragic. my life is tragic)#(TBHC is also one of his best sounding live songs. I won't elaborate and I won't out this up for dicsussion. it's just a fact to me#TBHC sounds GODLY live. And I WILL hear it live. Alex won't stop me. I'll make this happen no matter what he thinks)
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i feel like i would still be big into the utaite scene if it werent for 1) i prefer solo over group activities & everyone wants to be part of a idol-like group these days 2) besides like marshall maximizer & phony a lot of popular songs dont hit right for me & everyones always covering the same handful of popular songs and 3) im so deep into voca territory im genuinely lucky if some of the songs i listen to have even a single a cover. also bonus 4) i refuse to use yt as a music source so if it gets uploaded Only on yt it basically doesnt exist to me
#or in the case of like naisho no pierce's propose no one sings it right.#why does no one do the growls. there are people i KNOW can do growls in songs (looking at gaooo)#and they just. they dont even try. whats the point#like half the appeal of that song is in the contrast in the whisper to strong growl parts. & everyone just want to sound pretty#birthday is also getting this treatment. sad.#im also very picky about voices so theres that too#about the obscure song thing. once upon a time when i wanted to learn songs id just look up the nicokara#& learn along that way. & that was great until u like songs with <4k views & no nicokara exists for them 👍#sometimes people still cover those but its a lot less common#SPEAKING of utaite risru said he found a lot of teto songs he liked recently#if he covers shiawasekai i will simply explode#i think i used all my luck on him covering maximizer & kanon tho#i doubt i will ever hear a risru cover of a null song. he'd do them justice tho
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⌖ HI, HEY, HELLO! IT’S ME, hi, I’m the problem, IT’S ME, SIMULCASTING LIVE ON AIR and LIVE ON CAMERA! I almost NEVER DO THAT! Are YOU tired of scam calls? I SURE AM! Let’s make these CLOWNS our little APRIL FOOLS! TUNE IN for WILD IMPROV, VOICE ACTING, SCAMMER MALDING, and COVERS OF THE SCAMMER PAYBACK SOUNDTRACK! ALL DAY!
#// gonna drop context in the TAGS!#scambaiting is exactly what it sounds like! you bait scammers. for example pretending to be a potential victim to waste their time. some#people can go further and get their info to report to authorities or reverse connection into their computer and mess up their operations.#Al's goal here is to improv some insane scenarios (see link for an example) and have fun wasting these clowns' time so they can't make money#(this also saves victims but she is fueled mostly by pettiness and spite bc she hates robocalls)#they do get raging tho and she is gonna have so much fun making them rage. she has her own creative insults too.#(first link is long (but worth it) but the second two videos are short)#Her focus is improv but pls remember that she's pretty techliterate (like... her operating system is a linux and she set the hotel network#up with pihole to block all ads on the network) so she is running a virtual machine in case some scammer asks to remote into her computer.#Also! Scammer Payback is a scambaiter with a large following. He collabed with musicians to make a soundtrack. The songs pass as love songs#and stuff but they're about scammers/scamming/scambaiting and it's great. It's Al energy.#Anyway she VERY RARELY goes live on camera bc she dislikes being on camera in real time as there's no editorial control#but this is the sort of thing she wants to be on camera for! she's also broadcasting.#So. Lots of fun improv with live music between calls. It'll be fun. You'll get to see her make music live. Live looping and live instruments#(I don't think city lights & rain on me are officially part of the soundtrack. it's just the same artists collabing. but they have good sax#solos and I think april fool's is The day for Al to unironically refer to herself as h*rny in a song.)#⌖ online#⌖ hellfie#OH! THE FIREARM! I had drafted Al doing an iconic moment from a pengu*nz0 video and decided to use it for this.#She has that bisexual lighting going on too. It's to match the vaporwave music and also bc it's classic youtube.
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AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.
So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.
In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.
And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?
We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.
For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.
YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...
#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism#and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain.#it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all#the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain.#because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take#obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?'#followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY'#because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao#well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind']#and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad.#but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that!#I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch#he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it.#I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician.#but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though#I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao#anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit.#'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on#like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky#I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol
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Fans can be so funny sometimes. (Myself included.)
#decided to wade through a few comments on YT for Big Country's live performance of ''Fields of Fire'' on The Tube in 1984#and some lady commented ''he (Stuart) looked so happy here'' and from seeing the beginning of the video#and also just listening to it (Bruce's guitar was not producing any sound! for most of the song)#I was like 'um lady. I'm sorry but. he's actually kinda pissed off' lmao#like idk. if he was happy it was when he could finally get off stage and get tf out of there with the sound/technical issues.#but nonetheless: I know what she meant. it's just...as fans we're so cute. we only see the good stuff that we want to see#and for bands/artists we're fans of we only ever want to see them happy and that their gigs are successful (all around)#which is lovely for us and all but also tbh pretty unrealistic. I think about this sometimes especially when I go to shows alone.#I don't know if I'm projecting but when I go to shows alone I often wonder how the artists feel. especially at...very very small shows.#and even though I've sung solos in front of people before when I was in school - I can't remember WHAT it was like/how it felt.#the experience of being an artist in front of people and sharing your art? fuck if I can recall. (except hahaha being terrified)#so now I just...wonder. and try to show my appreciation for the artists as best I can anyway...even when I'm shy and awkward. :/#random rambling
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