#it'll be quiet for years
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tennessoui · 8 months ago
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giving the best dialogue to anakin and padmé divorcing once more lol <3
“If it were your best friend who choked on flowers he couldn’t give you, what would you do?”
Anakin blinks, more than a decade’s worth of Jedi training the only thing keeping him from reeling back. “What?” Padmé’s eyes gleam back at him, hard as flint. “If Master Kenobi developed hanahaki for you, if you saw him in pain because of you, would you have done what I did for Sabé?”
Anakin shakes his head, suddenly lost and feeling rather like the trap has been sprung. “You didn’t do anything wrong to her,” he says helplessly. “You said you paid for her surgery–”
“There were two things I could have done,” Padmé replies. “But I was a good wife. I didn’t even think about the other option. I didn’t even try. Because of you.”
The other option. The only other cure for the flowering disease: for the love to be returned.
Anakin cuts his eyes away from the face of his wife. They jump from the fireplace to the open doors leading to a balcony, to a chair in the corner to the old-fashioned books tucked neatly away in their alcove. “Don’t ask me this,” he says, begs, because Padmé is his wife and once, he loved her ardently.
But she is also a politician, and she knows to never give in when she is so close to her victory. “Tell me what you would do,” she demands softly. “Tell me you would do the same. If it were Obi-Wan dying, tell me you would hold his hand as he underwent the surgery. Tell me that you would remember me.”
“He would never develop flowers for me,” Anakin snaps as if the words have been ripped from his throat, and his hands loosen behind his back, grab at the ends of his hair and then scrub roughly over his face.
Padmé’s lips curl and her eyes flash, a spark of embers beneath a blanket of ash. “Put aside your belief that your master is too much of a Jedi to fall in love, that is not what I want—”
Anakin shakes his head, once, sharply. He feels cornered. Like a wild animal, biting at anything that encroaches into his space. “You asked me to speak and now you will not listen,” he snarls, and he is being cruel. This is cruel.
But this is also the truth, and it is what she wanted. 
“He would never develop flowers for me,” he says again. “Because you only develop flowers when the love is unrequited. And there has never been a moment in my life that I have not been in love with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Is that what you wanted to hear, Padmé?” 
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favvnsongs · 1 month ago
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feeling emo about jilco lmfaooooo. the situationship. it wounds me
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ourceliumnetwork · 1 month ago
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apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.
#this post brought to you by#dissociating so hard i had to quit playing magic#it wasn't that far into the game and i don't know wtf is going on with this but like. christ.#i'm so tired of having to come down from huge crying jags and panic and the fear of my mother coming to Get Me for not being Good Enough#like#what the fuck man#i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this#i thought i was DONE with the goo stage what do you MEAN there's more#cofronting has at least been less chaotic with only a couple people manning the helm at any given time#but like....christ alive can i just like. i don't know#how do you ask for vacation days off from your own brain? cause i'm exhausted man#i'm exhausted with this shit how is this the way i gotta go through life every day#like i could quit food service when i felt like this - and i did#but like. you can't opt out of your shifts in brain because that's where you live y'know?#ugh. i'm...something is wrong and i don't know what i did to fuck up this time but i don't like this#phrasing intentional to mean ''i have done an activity or action that has caused some sort of disruption in my brain that has made things#more difficult for myself due to brain chemistry and it has been relatively recently''#i don't think it's the meds i'm fairly certain it's the mental illness i already know about and am aware of it's just kicking up a fuss#because i don't enjoy this time of year and i won't start being Cool about things until january starts up properly#and there's always the risk it'll continue on through that due to other circumstances but i'm really hoping it'll just calm down#because the Threat of Christmas Celebration isn't imminent#(we *very* rarely celebrated past couchweek and that was usually involving a lot of travel so once january is here and Festivities die down#i'll start hopefully feeling more like a coherent person and not just a miserable ball of trauma)#anyway. i'm...gonna wait for dinner to be done and i can eat that and then maybe i schedule some i do not exist time to myself where#i just am in my room making no noise and pretending i don't exist but like it's a positive thing and not a negative one#because if i don't exist my ribs can't hurt and also the trauma can't gets me#(this is mostly a joke don't worry about it too much i rarely actually request Quiet Alone Time)#normally i just sorta Acquire it and vibe#until i am reminded i have a physical form and the world can inflict forces upon me
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darehearts · 1 year ago
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usertoxicyaoi · 1 year ago
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god i have neverrrr everrrr everrrr been a morning workout kinda person i usually always workout after work around 5pm-ish, but since its october now and the days will start to get shorter and SAD will no doubt set in this year i wanna try switching things up for the first time and see what it does for my mood and body and brain if i workout in the mornings before work at 6am before or after i pray fajr salah instead.
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ladyimaginarium · 1 year ago
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Manifestation Moodboard: Interfaith Christmas, Hannukah & Yule!!
#arcana.uploads#the idealized self.#christmas.#hannukah.#yule.#mine.#do not reblog unless you're a member of our system.#christmas + hannukah + yule inspo !! ft fancy clothes & cool stuff i'd& love to wear & do one day !! <3333#the contrasting colors of christmas / yule & hannukah are so neat tbh#like. you have red & green for christmas / yule & blue & white for hannukah w/ flecks of gold & silver for both !!#i& would totally love to have a whole hannukah thing w/ jewish friends & maybe some trusted goyim & vibe while we eat jelly donuts & challa#& study some more jewish literature & learn about revolution bc at its core thats what hannukah's about !!#& then for christmas we'd& vibe w/ friends while we drink hot cocoa & watch some cheesy movies & decorate the tree qwq + chinese food ngl#both hannukah & xmas get gingerbread houses & cakes for their respective holidays BET !!!! idc idc#& then in between xmas & yule we'd& love to go out w/ friends to like. a cabin or idk a longhouse or smth & vibe there !!#& go skiing maybe even tho i suck at it or try traditional dogsledding LAGJGAAGLJAGGALJAGJL#one of my& favorite gifts are gonna be blue roses + mullah bc we& love to see it !!#& then i'd& totally wanna go on those horseback carriage rides w/ either partner(s) or friends or maybe a future niece/nephew/nieph qwq#our& outfits would ideally SLAY#& then for yule it'll be a more quiet solemn but happy time !! bonus if it has log cake !! lots of prayers & hopes for the new year !! <333#maybe do some kinda fancy altar & practicing winter witchcraft / magick along w/ traditional indigenous medicines on the side !!#bc listen a native jewish bitch can dream !!!!
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago
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What if I proposed the analysis that Belos actually has very little internal moral compass and that his veneer of righteousness has always been implied by the writers to be complete fabricated bullshit even before watching and dreaming basically confirms it.
#ramblings of a lunatic#^shes going in drafts untagged bc a) philip stans who insist on the morally misguided angle terrify me in their persistence#and b) i would have to actually rewatch episodes and whatnot#but i think i can build credence to the idea that him and caleb started off not invested in witch hunting for moral righteousness#but numb to it via cultural normalisation and THUS. had an amoral approach to the whole thing#and the only thing either of them as orphan outsiders ever really would've gained from witch hunting would've been careers and recognition#a sense that they're heroes- not in the moral sense but in the narrative sense. that they were protagonists#The Most Important Boys so to speak#the difference being Caleb at some point decided witch hunting was wrong (i.e like hunter did. grew a moral compass)#and philip still navigated the world amorally 400 years later only motivated by a petty grudge and deep buried guilt#the latter of which is nearly irrelevant to anyone who isn't philip bc clearly he priorities that grudge above it#this is just a personal petty opinion#but i honestly don't think the 'delusional and petty' angle is any less complex than the 'moral crusader' angle w/ his character#and it matches the whole 'hes a magic conservative' message way better than his motives being genuine#one day I'll rewatch that scene in WaD and see if Philip fans are onto something and I've been drinking the pond water#or if it's actually congruent with his character like I've since come to see it and like i know many saw it the first time round#anyway this is actually all for me. in drafts you go#edit: hi. it's the ladel of like. 3 weeks after i made this and put it in drafts. it's nearly 1 am rn and- in my delirium-#i have decided to publish it#i doubt it'll do much w/ regards to response bc fandom has been on the quiet side lately (tho that can always change(#plus I made a similar post insinuating the same notion and it got ZERO traction positive or negative#which tells me I'm good to just say shit for the most part (in a good natured way)#anyway. hits post cutely (i am so fucking tired)
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garlique · 1 year ago
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no one knows how much i want a goddamn cig
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alwayscryingoverdannyb · 1 year ago
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no gaming for me this weekend; due to personal reasons I will be fucking off to the mountains once again.
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terresdebrume · 1 year ago
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Tonight I am frustrated by the fact that I still have a lot of bias to unlearn when it comes to dealing with students with special needs
(As in, it would be nice if I could be effortlessly good at it, but alas)
#Matt has a life#Shit from work#Part of the problem (on top of like... the usual isms) is also that a) I actually *like* the traditional quiet classroom environment#just because quiet and focus is how I learn things best#also: I have limited time to prepare things like dyslexia friendly resources#I mean fortunately there's some stuff that was premade which I'll be able to modify to get started this year#unfortunately my student who probably needs it the most is not in a class where anything is ready so#more work more time needed and my availability is not moving -_-#(will still try i just don't think it'll be the greatest possible thing)#also wrt kids who probably have adhd but no other support: I have a really hard time figuring out what helps them concentrate#apart from what's actually a distraction#case in point: one time one of my students spent the full hour fiddling with paper#with no improvement that I could see in how much attention they paid to the class#and they said 'this was great I was quiet aren't you happy?'#and I was like 'well I won't lie it's convenient for me but also the goam is to help you focus#not to make things convenient'#anyway I think my main tldr is that whime there are things that exist to help these students#and I'm willing to try them#So far my attempts have felt more like randomly chucking stuff at them#(even if I ask them to tell me if they have techniques that help them already)#than anything really helpful#and I haven't figured out yet how to move past that in order to properly make things more accessible for them#(plus like. the one student who is apparently VERY dyslexic#when I asled if there might be underlying cause to their struggles in my class#strongly denied it. which adds to the difficulties)#anyway I feel like this went a little 'woe is me for dealing with this' so like#sorry about that
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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I had a dentist appointment this morning, and thanks to the Lorazepam I already started falling asleep in the car on the way back lol. went right back to bed when we came home and had a nice little 7 hour nap :')
my husband's away for a few days (at a relative's wedding, with his dad) so now it's 22:00 and I'm starting to feel awake and I could do whatever I want! except I can't think of anything, so I guess I'm just watching YouTube for now 🤷
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freesomebodybyluna · 1 year ago
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life is very beautiful in this moment I'm thankful I'm alive
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rapha-reads · 2 years ago
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No, seriously, what the FUCK is going on with this summer. Why is everything so weird and happening all at once.
I need it all to stop because I don't know how much longer I can deal with the weirdness.
Personal rant below, to avoid spamming your dash.
My mother cheats with a guy 32 years younger than her. Alright. She wants a divorce from my father and starts spewing shit about him. Um, okay. My father goes into depression, rage, pain, stability, rince and repeat. Sure, no problem, I know his character and I understand what's going on with him right now. My own anger, pain and incomprehension can take the backseat.
My father's water well suddenly stops working for 3 weeks, impossible to water the trees in the middle of a summer from hell. Problem, but after weeks of checking everything, wasting money on pieces of the pump and ferrying around workers, we manage to find that the problem is neither the pump nor the water levels, but the pipe that was cracked on like 5cm and it only needed to be cut. 3 weeks and thousands of dirhams wasted for nothing. Really annoying.
Weird lights in the sky, sudden gusts of wind carrying around sand and dust, heat, no rain, dry storms... Yeah. Eerie on the good days, downright creepy scary on the bad days.
The dog next house that we go give water every couple of days to avoid seeing him die of neglect before our eyes, climbing the wall and improvising a machinery to get him water. Weird, but okay. The owner of the dog actually made an appearance, my father scolded him in his very polite but firm way, told him that I was giving the dog water and to leave the rope we se to get the jerrycan, the owner agreed (he's a distant cousin of my father, welcome to Moroccan countryside, family tree more like family maze).
But now, half an hour ago, my dad is chilling in the garden talking with one of his cousins, my sister is inside reading, I'm on the veranda reading, all lights are turned off, when suddenly there's a guy entering the backyard where we have a peach tree with a couple of green peaches and the windows of our bedrooms. He just. Jumped down a wall, stole a peach, run across the backyard in front of my sister's room where she was about to get changed, climbed the back stairs and jumped over another wall.
... WHAT.
And then my father apparently saw him from the garden, and barefoot went running after him, and apparently ran around the entire village after him, met one of his cousins and his nephew, came back home without catching the guy (not even a guy, a teenager, 15-16yo). Sister and I are just about giving up on trying to understand the weirdness of the entire summer, deciding on going to give water to the dog before going to bed. I'm reaching the top of the wall when suddenly my uncle, his wife, his brother-in-law, my two cousins, my father's cousin that was there at the beginning all arrive. Oh, I forgot to mention, it's HALF PAST MIDNIGHT.
I'm. I'm fucking giving up, how in the name of SANITY am I supposed to write a bloody master's thesis in these circumstances??? I forgot to mention my sister's heart problems, the people building houses all around my dad's field and the weird encounters we have with these foreigners who already know of our reputation (did I mention that my father is kinda famous/infamous in the region because he doesn't bow down to the corrupted authorities like everyone else... That brings troubles too), the countless taxi trips to get to the town to by groceries and counting every coin because we have neither car nor money, both belonging to my mother, my mother moving houses, my mother in general...
I AM DONE. (they say, knowing full well they can't actually be excused from the narrative because their most important people need them)
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angstandhappiness · 7 months ago
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LMAO but also the tags DUDE
Reverse Robin au but the ages aren't changed. Just adoption order.
#How would that-#actually no#I know exactly how this would work all things considered#A very young Duke (3 or so) is found in the wreckage of the Joker's recent attack with a cheap gasmask across his face#Too young to understand why his mom and dad kept laughing and laughing even as they were crying until their eyes closed one last time#And never woke up#It's hard to not feel your heart break when a child so much younger than he was looks up to batman from where he stands at his mother's sid#Asking with big glassy confused eyes why mommy won't wake up#Bruce is terrified that he will ruin it all#That what is quite possibly the kindest child he's ever met will turn out a bitter tired man like him#But as the months go on he finds his worry unfounded#Duke grows up as a sweetheart and the media never gets more than a glance at him#And somewhere in the intervening years he makes friends with their neighbour despite sharing no classes with him#In part because he's two years his senior. In part because the little child prodigy is eight years old and already in fifth grade classes#He has parents of his own. Yet little Tim always miraculously ends up tugged by the sleeve to Mr. Wayne's house every weekend and holiday#It'll be many years until he's a member of the family in name#but he fits in like a missing puzzle piece anyways#Even as a pair of new heartbeat joins them all when Bruce shows up after a long mission with a precious little bundle in his arms#with a little girl quiet as the night and dangerous as death clinging to the back of his cape#Along the line a few secrets are found and a couple new vigilantes rise and find their little nooks and crannies in the world of superheroe#Nothing stays perfect forever though. Tim joins the family permanently only to be ripped away again.#It's then of course#in one of Batman's worst moments#That a teenager barely scratching sixteen pulls him off some petty thief or other screaming at him to stop#Jason Todd screams and yells and forces Bruce to stand up and remember what he stood for.#Somewhere along the way a new vigilante rises in Gotham. No longer a symbol of hope or protection now#but as a symbol of justice#Someone in the shadows ready to avenge those that couldn't be saved#And then Nightwing happens. And then Tim shows back up.#....ngl I did not plan this far but if anyone reads this madness hope you enjoy this stub of a story
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newlyy · 3 months ago
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I hope Chappell wins something also because I suspect not winning will make her worse. she will take the "wrongfully ignored by the industry" sentiment and run with it to annoying new directions.
lmaooo you know, I had half-typed a reply about how she might like losing because she kind of wants to be "underground" in a sense and may not want the mainstream grammy recognition, but then i remembered people submit themselves for grammy nominations.
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astrxealis · 1 year ago
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went out w friends today super duper fun i'm really happy but anyway just on here to say it's my break now so i'll be a bit more active i hope, it's my bday soon too, and i got asked my gender today which was p cool 😙🥺💗✨
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i miss it here but real life has been so fun again that i'm just. really happy JEGQKDJS#LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS SM u guys here and those irl and elsewhere online and yes <333#it's crazy tbh i went to a mall today w my friends in class as a yk gala but also in advance for my bday ... they r all so nice i love them#they kept hyping me up and idk it's a small thing but i love how observant they r SNIFFS maybe i'm just not used to it all so it means a lot#but either way it means so much fr. AND THEN OK the weekend after this one i'm watching a movie w my other grp of friends from arti's class#hehe 2nd time hanging out w em but we'll be more complete this time around <3 !!! and thennn at school i hang out w a variety of friends at#diff times and then online i've been connecting in diff ways w my closest friends online too and even randomly here yk and then yeah it all#just makes me vv happy that for the first time in... what. 6 years. i've been truly myself w interacting w others#BCS YES i am shy introverted quiet BUT ALSO the complete opposite but in a nice way. best of both worlds fr.#idk IEHSJDJS JUST REALLY HAPPY I'M 'BACK' to who i kind of rlly am but either way i am Me#sniffs..... okay but i'm not gna get emotional rn LOL#it's not rlly break yet until sat tbh which is my bday :P we're just staying home for the rest of the week but there's still school#i was worried at 1st i rmbr i wouldn't like my class but i had my thoughts and ideas which were good#and BOOM they actually did come true. it's amazing. oh my god.#also bad moments have come n gone but i've been dealing w them healthily and generally always trying to be as best as i can be healthily#DAMN. i'm thriving. but even if things go sour i know it'll go through and yeah. amazing#so tldr touching grass is rlly good and loving urself lmfao#the thing is i admittedly have always loved myself so. good for me! genuinely i have always and knew for a very long know i always will love#myself :] rlly nice to have that stability but ig it stems too from a very ahaha childhood WHWHJD i've fastforwarded growing up mentally#it's p sad but ig i wouldn't have it any other way since who i am is who i am. so. yeah.#YEEHAW OKAY GN !!! i shut up now hehehe#i miss writing... ye gods
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