#it'll be in the middle of an intense situation

[fbiartist]

Like for a starter in Ziva's Supernatural/TVD verse, mutuals only, multi's specify.

[plutodexay]

Thunderbolts* Headcannons

Them asking you out on a date and how they would go about doing it!

Includes Bucky, Ava, Walker, Yelana, and Bob! In that order

⋆˙⟡Bucky⟡˙⋆

He would be awkward but weridly confident. Like he would need to pysch himself up in the corner before walking over to you but would also have the idea that theres no universe in which you'll say no to him.

Its not the most romantic thing, he didn't bring flowers or a gift but he has that old timey mindset of how to do these things and that comes heavily into play.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me?" Bucky asked, a smirk on his face that for once showed no malice.

"Dinner?" You could feel your eyebrows furrowing at the simple question. Bucky was mostly distant with you, making this honestly a somewhat scary situation, but also an exciting one.

"I like you." His hand reached out to grab yours, the warm skin a contrast from what you'd expected. "And I would like to treat you to a nice evening if you'd let me." Emphasizing his words by bringing your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss into the back of it. You knew what your answer was.

⋆˙⟡Ava⟡˙⋆

Something tells me she'd be waiting for you to ask her first, like she would be secretly staring at you and trying to egg on conversations that could potentially lead to the two of you being alone together.

If she did end up asking first, it would be out of despration or a slight outburst in the middle of a conversation. Asking is hard but she also doesn't want to risk you getting with someone else or leaving.

"I mean I have the reservation, I'll probably just ask some random tinder match to go with me ya know?" Yelena laughed along with you at your words, the topic of this stupid gifted reservation on valentines day driving you insane.

"Could take me." Ava muttered, face strained in annoyance as she stood by the both of you.

"Sorry say that again?" You asked, trying to make sure you heard her right, and you really hoped you did.

"Take me." Ava said louder this time, a tone of anger in her voice. "I'm right here, more than willing to have all the cringe romance shit you could just take me."

"I'd love to." Her face turned to one of pure shock, matching Yelenas similar expression. "You'd be the perfect date."

⋆˙⟡Walker⟡˙⋆ (Im still in the constant changing opinion of this man but I am a women of giving daydream ideas to people so enjoy)

I don't even think he asks. He's full of that surface level confidence that slowly fades the more comfortable he gets around you. His pride is intense so he just doesn't ask, he tells you.

Even with this he'll get visbily excited when you don't say no. He has an extra kick in his step when he walks away from you after it. You can't point it out until much later in the relationship which by then he'll admit to rehearsing it all in a mirror the nigth before.

"You me the park at 7pm tomorrow." John said as he walked up to you, no hello's or anything else.

"Oh yea?" You chuckled as you watched his smirk faulter at your pushback for just a moment.

"Yea, you have a problem with that." He took a step closer, keeping eye contact with you seemingly attempting to challenge you to push him furhter. You weren't going to, you knew that but the fact that he did not for these few seconds made it much more fun for you.

"I'll be there." You broke the silence, and all you got was a nod from him as he turned to walk away, watching as he walked as if he'd had multiple shots of expresso hilariously.

⋆˙⟡Yelena⟡˙⋆

Oh so stereotypical for some reason. Once she knows she wants you she will be getting you and that is the end of the discussion. She'd ask you while handing you a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers wrapped in perfectly tied ribbon.

It'll be done in private to, a timed place where nobody could dare to interupt. She wants it to be perfect even if its just a first date and she will make it painfully so. She won't have anything planned for the actual date though, wanting to get your opinion on it before hand.

"Is there any reason why we're out here?" You said aloud, looking around the quiet park. This specific spot you were in had nobody running around it, you could hear the rest of them off in the distance yet here and now it was just you two.

"I wanted peace and quiet so I could ask you." Yelena's tone was serious but her face gave off hints of excitment. You watched as she ducked below the bench to pull out of bundle of flowers. "For you." She extended the flowers towards you, waiting with a smile until you grabbed them.

"Why?" You could feel the confusion on your face as you switched focus between the flowers and her.

"I would like to take you out on a date if you'd let me." Now she was nervous, you could hear it but god was it endearing.

"Please do."

⋆˙⟡Bob⟡˙⋆

Sleepily, its the only time he has enough confidence. You two would be resting in the common space after a mission, everyone else had left to go to their own rooms but you two always watched something before doing so.

He'd be half asleep bundled under a big blanket on the couch next to you when he'd ask. Saying he'd been thinking about it for ages and would really like to start sharing couches. Falls asleep the moment you agree but thankfully remembers in the morning.

"We should share a couch one day." Bob mumbled, words coming out at the right commercial break.

"Yea?" You chuckled, pushing your own blankets down enough to get a view of his red but bundled face in the tv's light.

"Mhm." He hummed, eyes closed and shifting further down into the cushions. "If we go out on a date we could do it." A smile grew on his face, imagining that scenario.

"I'd like that." You responded, watching him grin adorbly. "If you'd like." You added, knowing his tired mind races from him often enough that it can and has become an issue.

"Zoo date?" He whispered, prying his eyes open to look at you with baited breath for a response that wouldn't ruin the moment.

"Zoo date."

[mirai-e-jump]

Animage February 2025 Issue ft. Shoji Kohei Interview (translation below)

Publication: January 9, 2025

That man, is Vram

Shouma and Hanto discover that they're both transforming into Kamen Riders. Making her exit is Siita, second daughter of the Stomach Family, the biggest enemy to Shouma and his friends. As thrilling developments unfold each week, a new Kamen Rider has joined the fray in "Kamen Rider Gavv." His name, is Vram. Known as Lage 9, he's a Granute who's been employed by Stomach Inc and can transform into a Kamen Rider.

Shouma, born between a human and a Granute, transforms into Gavv. Then came Valen, who the human Hanto transforms into. Many fans may have predicted that the one to transform into the tertiary Rider would be a Granute. However, the "man" known as Lage 9 is more than just an enemy to fight. While he pretends to not be interested in the reward of dark sweets, when he negotiates with Nyelv, who approached him with a secret job behind president Lango's back, it becomes apparent that he has his own agenda, but what are his true intentions?

Before Granute Lage 9, Shoji Kohei-san passionately played the role of Crystaria Takamichi (KiramaiSilver) in "Mashin Sentai Kiramager." A complete departure from his role as a powerful and lively man, it'll be interesting to see how he'll play the role of a lazy and mysterious monster!

-Working together to express Vram's sense of strength-

"It's not often that a person who plays a hero in the Super Sentai series then goes onto playing the role of a Kamen Rider, so we were surprised when we first heard the news."

Shoji: I was surprised that coincidences like these could happen. I worked together with Kudo Mio on Kiramager, where she played KiramaiPink after appearing in "Kamen Rider Ghost," but I never dreamed that I'd be in a situation where I'd play a transforming hero and then a character who Henshins, and not just as a minor character, but as a regular.

"We also thought it was interesting that just like KiramaiSilver in Kiramager, you made your entrance with this role during the middle of the story."

Shoji: Yeah, it feels like some kind of fate.

"What kind of impression do you have of the Kamen Rider series?"

Shoji: Compared to Sentai, I have the impression that the human drama is played out more seriously. I've been watching Gavv's broadcast so far with the feeling of, "How can they do this much with a Sunday morning program?!"

"Lage 9 acts exactly like a typical enemy, doing things like collecting large amounts of Human Presses, so we couldn't believe that he was a character who'd transform into a Kamen Rider."

Shoji: I was alittle surprised by that too (laughs). In the original materials I received, all I knew about his character was his purpose in life and his general beliefs, which would be revealed in the future. When it comes to the scenes where he performs his evil tasks, I think it's easier for children to understand it if he looks like a bad person, as it also makes it clear as to why he's doing it, so I'm trying to play the role in a way that makes me appear as evil as possible.

"He made his first appearance in episode 12 for a short time in his Granute form, with Shoji-san only appearing through his voice performance."

Shoji: Until he appeared in his human form, he'd been putting on an act in front of Stomach Inc, so I wanted to make sure he appeared weak. From there until he transforms into a Kamen Rider at the end of episode 17, I wanted to make my performance as natural as possible, and to create an intense contrast with his fighting appearance.

"Starting from episode 18, he'll finally play an active role as Kamen Rider Vram."

Shoji: When talking about strong characters, I think there are many different types you could go with, but together with Vram's Suit Actor Eitoku-san and the production team, we're expressing him as the type who can "switch on and off." Eitoku-san doesn't make any exaggerated movements or heroic poses in his performance, and he'll wait until the last moment before suddenly moving, so even during post recording, I'm conscious of creating a difference between when he is and isn't putting in alot of energy.

"What was your impression of Vram's visuals using a pudding motif?"

Shoji: It was more poppin than I had envisioned (laughs). The vivid yellow color is eye catching, too flashy and cute for him to be an enemy, and I also like the pieces of pudding being applied to various parts of his body, such as his ears, shoulders and back. It's the same for Gavv and Valen, but I think the nice thing about Gavv's production is that while its story runs heavy, the Kamen Riders are colorful and poppin.

"How do you communicate with Eitoku-san?"

Shoji: Currently, I feel that we're on the same page and can have everyday conversations when we meet (laughs), but in the beginning, we didn't know how to approach each other, so we'd just confirm and adjust things one by one. We'd be like, "What'd you do in this scene?" or, "I think this is the emotion that's coming from the scene." Before Vram made his entrance, Eitoku-san and I have been performing Lage 9 together since his Granute form appeared. When done well, the effects of our synergy can expand upon this great role alot better than if we were to perform it alone, but on the other hand, if we're both looking to go in different directions, it can make the viewers feel that something's out of place. While thinking about how we should handle our emotions, I hope we can continue to trust each other and perform together.

-The difference between Rider and Sentai's storytelling-

"Shoji-san, please tell us your impressions of Shouma's Chinen Hidekazu-san and Hanto's Hino Yusuke-san."

Shoji: Chinen's a kid who's like a sponge. Even without lighting, his eyes are sparkling, and it makes me wonder if me and the other five appeared like that on the outside four years ago (laughs). Hino's career in the entertainment industry is longer than mine, and I feel that he has the desire to greatly expand upon the important role of Kamen Rider that he's obtained with his own hands, and that he wants to improve the entire set. I haven't actually said this to him, but he's a kind person. Our job isn't just to put on a good performance and create good scenes, it's also about making the finished footage look good. Chinen and Sachika's Miyabe Nozomi have yet to build up their acting careers, so there are times where they struggle on set. I'd like to give them advice, but it's something I also have to think about for myself, so I'm watching over them from a slightly detached position. I feel that Hino's advice, which varies in subtle ways depending on the person he's directing it to, has had a positive effect on Chinen, the others, and the entire set……I might be praising him abit too much (laughs).

"(laughs). You must feel that the atmosphere on Gavv's set is good then, huh?"

Shoji: That's right. I'm a main cast member with five years of experience as an actor, and especially on Kamen Rider's side, it's like I'm a veteran entering a younger set, where everyone has the ambition to take a big step forward as actors from this production. I hope that this will be a turning point in my career where I'll be able to grow, and I'm thinking about how I can give back to the set using the experience I've gained so far.

"What do you feel is the same or different between working on set for the Super Sentai series and Kamen Rider series?"

Shoji: What they share in common is that the scripts are written in parallel to watching our performances and the finished footage, which allows the actors to grow alongside their characters. As someone involved, I enjoy the fact that Chinen and the others look more appealing now than when I first met them, and I think that's the most interesting part tokusatsu fans who have loved the series for so many years want to see most. I think what's different is that Super Sentai has stories for each character, but they also work as a group and have storylines that are usually resolved in an episode, while each person in Kamen Rider has their own storyline that lasts the entire show. I was together with the Kiramager members pretty much all the time (laughs). In Gavv's case, it'll be interesting to see how Gavv and Valen, who are fighting together, deal with their opponent Vram, and how their relationship will change in the process. I'm excited to perform as well.

"What did you learn from your experience on Kiramager that you've been incorporating into Gavv?"

Shoji: I feel that I've been able to make use of my knowledge in post recording and how I behave on set. When I first started doing post recording for Kiramager, I struggled with it so much, that I finally recorded a single episode after what felt like countless hours of recording. What was great for all of us was that we were able to record while surrounded by Voice Actors such as Minase Inori-san, Sugita Tomokazu-san, and Nakamura Yuichi-san, all of whom are active at the very front of the industry. Suzumura Kenichi-san still contacts me every now and then, and Inada Tetsu-san comes over when I call him (laughs), so we're very close friends. I learned alot about how to approach the performance with just my voice, so I think it's one of my assets. Normal dramas are filmed and finished in about 2-3 months, and while staff members join and leave within Super Sentai and Kamen Rider, they're always involved in the same productions, so their sets are abit unique. With the main premise being what Chinen, the lead actor, wants to do, I try to come up with ways of improving the atmosphere on set, while also thinking about whether to give him a push or run with him.

"Please tell us what we should pay attention to in future episodes."

Shoji: First would be the action performed by Kamen Rider Vram. As a viewer, I really enjoy the battle scenes that Action Director Fujita Satoshi's been putting alot of thought into, and now that Gavv and Valen are being joined by Vram, you'll get to see three different fighting styles. I hope you enjoy his interesting visuals, as well as how he uses his weapon. And then, the type of fate Lage 9 carries on his back will become clearer as his character develops, so I hope that you'll watch each week's broadcast with anticipation. _

Double Riders from the tertiary Rider's point of view.

From Lage 9's perspective, they both serve as obstacles who get in the way of his objective, nothing more and nothing less. He happens to wear a suit that looks similar to theirs, but he's taken the stance to eliminate them since he's been ordered to do so by those above him. As for myself, I view both of them as heroic, but it's interesting to see how the things they both carry overlap, such as the feelings of guilt Shouma has towards Hanto. I think it's because there are some nuanced elements that you end up wondering, "What kind of person is this guy?" or "Maybe there's another side to him." I feel that that's what makes them so appealing within the story. (-Shoji)

[idllytarott]

❥ love in May for the zodiac signs (tarot reading).

(check sun, moon, VENUS and rising)

MY PAID READINGS (currently open)

❥ Aries.

A month of direct openness, even at your own expense. Love will be very transformative for you this next month, things will feel very intense, you will feel very intensely, your feelings will be overwhelming and you will be more sensitive. Be careful with how people act or react around you, you'll be more focused on sex and not love, there are high chances of sexual encounters, your presence will attract many eyes, don't give your time and energy to just anyone, or you will be in a situation where you'll feel underappreciated, used, or suffocated. Don't lose your freedom for others, no matter how much you desire love or pleasure, put boundaries.

❥ Singles; Protect yourself spiritually, emotionally and sexually this month. People will start looking at you differently, some good and some not so much, some might want to take advantage of certain emotions you're in, like looking for companionship when they only want sex, be careful. Learn to be more independent, don't let a fling of the moment catch you second-guessing yourself because of them, you know your worth, you don't need anyone to know what you're worth.

❥ in a Relationship; Not many emotions this month, it will all be focused on physical connection, if you're okay with that, then it's not big deal, you and your partner might not be in the same page, you might fight because one wants more emotional intimacy and the other sexual intimacy, if you can get through this month despite disputes, it'll be a fruitful time, but if you feel like you can't get to an agreement, taking a break or leaving altogether is also on the cards this month.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ TAURUS.

A month of indecisiveness, taking care of your own peace of mind and disregarding other people's emotions because of it. You will try to have an easy month and it will be difficult, they will ask you to be more direct, to act upon what you want and to take action when you don't feel like it. Love will move a lot slower and it might be your own doing, there is something about romantic situations you just don't want to be a part of anymore, you are fine being alone.

❥ Singles; This month is one of retreating, of learning from experience and trying to not make the same mistakes again, you will be very cautious about who you let into your life. There have been situations where you let people pass over you and it costs you a lot of emotional peace, don't hide yourself from the world just for one or two bad experiences in love.

❥ in a Relationship; You might be going through trials and tribulations this time, where you don't agree on something and it never really gets solved, there is a lot of love in this relationship but a lack of willingness to fix things, you desire one thing, while they desire something else entirely, this will be a month of meeting in the middle, if you refuse to work on these difference the relationship might flatter.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ GEMINI.

A very free month if you can believe it, you'll be met with opportunities left and right, things will be happening for you not to you, if you've been feeling a little depressed about love and where it's all going in general, you will have an eye-opening experience, maybe through a romantic interest or you'll learn something about yourself that will serve you to see love differently, the weight of things is lifting from your shoulders when it comes to romance, you'll accept things as they come and won't try to change something that can't be changed, even if it means some people leaving.

❥ Singles; This month will bring a lot of people, a lot of options on terms of love, you will learn a lot about yourself through these people, life will feel less heavy with decision-making. Love can be something that just comes and goes for you, nothing this month will be forever, but rather a lesson to learn or fun for a little while, if you look for lasting love, this month is not for it, is to get to know people and see where things go, don't get your hopes up.

❥ in a Relationship; You will be going through a lot of changes emotionally and it will notice in your connection as well, your partner will find it hard to keep up with you, and there will be situations where you two will not see eye to eye, but if you're patient with each other you can grow together, be careful to not be too honest to the point where you'll hurt your partner's feelings, because you'll be very active this month and you'll want them to act exactly like you.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ CANCER.

This month will be crucial for the next phase of your life in romance. You will have to learn tough lessons about people you love and people you don't so much. A pivotal moment for you to learn to be self-reliant and independent, something that is hard for you to do in love. Consciously, or unconsciously, you will begin to move away from ideals and the way you see people. Especially if you've felt like you've been led astray by someone you love.

❥ Singles; This month beware of people that surround you, in love, things will go more subtly than you think, don't put pressure on a new relationship or someone you just met on a pedestal, because things this month will be foggy, your emotions will be all over the place and you might want to make rapid decisions without thinking twice about it, don't try to get over one person with another, it will not work.

❥ in a Relationship; Your desires and what you communicate to your partner are completely different, you don't know how to say what you want from this relationship because you're scared this person might not take it the best way, but if you are with a person that you can't confide in and tell what worries you in the connection, it's not worth it. Speak on what it is that you want and if your partner can't deal with it, it might be time to go your separate way.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ LEO.

A month of picking and choosing, choose your fights wisely, don't let anyone make you feel less than what you are. Romantic connections are complicated, sometimes you are not going to agree with what the other person thinks or wants, but it's important to also learn to not be competitive or arrogant in love, these next days will be important for you to learn what to fight for and what to let go.

❥ Singles; This month can be a little hectic and moving, try to not get overwhelmed by the intensity of others or your own, learn to compromise or to leave when something has nothing positive to give you anymore. Time will prove that leaving or staying in a situation was a good idea, don't take on more than you can psychologically, or you will end up in bad situations.

❥ in a Relationship; This next month will be very challenging if you are in a relationship, you two will have to prove to each other all the time that stays worth it, you've been through a lot in love and it's natural for you to want to leave when complications arise, if you feel like leaving will give you more peace of mind than staying, then it's your choice, but if love is more important for you, then try to not get overwhelmed by the tribulations of this month.

personalized reading for u <3

❥ VIRGO.

This month is bringing back a lot of old flames or ex-partners to your life, not to stay, but to teach you a lesson. If you've been feeling down on your luck or like love is something more than complicated for you, you will encounter people that'll teach you why you are not the person you used to be. Sometimes you are so hard on yourself and don't see the progress you've done after all the things you went through.

❥ Singles; This month you will go back to the past a lot, think about what was and why it was, why certain things occurred and how they changed your view on relationships. Not much romantic action per say, you will be dealing with a lot emotionally and mentally, try to not fall back into bad habits or people that aren't good for you, because you will regret it immediately.

❥ in a Relationship; Past lovers can interrupt your life and make you or your partner feel insecure, this is a month of detaching from third parties and talk like a couple, find a solution to a problem that was put there because of somebody else. If you trust this connection you will ignore the rest, and only focus on each other.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ LIBRA.

This month love will be challenging for you, it will change your perception on a lot of this, yourself, your friends, the way you've been perceiving love up until this point. There are lessons you will be forced to learn to move on and be more confident in yourself, don't confide your secrets to just anyone, you have to guard your energy a lot more from now on, because people are watching.

❥ Singles; This month will be changing for you the most, you will learn a lot too soon, and realize that people will want your energy very badly. Protect yourself and beware of people who come from the past, will not recommend giving attention to these people that will only cause internal turmoil in your life, enjoy being alone for a while.

❥ in a Relationship; This month is also going to be very challenging for you and your partner, things will be infolding and situations that you can't control will make you doubt of yourself, of this connection. Try to sit down and talk, communicate your worries and needs, don't try to brush things off because it might not be what your partner wants.

personalized reading for u <3

❥ SCORPIO.

This month brings a lot of inner turmoil, and sexual connections too. A lot of things will be happening for you this month, you will doubt yourself and people around you a lot, your desires and your logical thinking will not be alighting this month, be careful of deciding things too quickly and regretting it later on, love will be very challenging for you, it will make you feel very confused about how other people see you or react to you. It might be best to not engage with a casual relationship if you're not feeling good about someone or about yourself.

❥ Singles; It will be a complicated month for you in love, things will feel very unauthentic or like you don't really connect with anybody lately. Take these next days to think about what kind of people are you letting into your life and why do you feel the need to scare them away when you feel like intimacy is too much.

❥ in a Relationship; This month will really be testing your relationship, boundaries will be crossed or you will not know how to meet in the middle, you will have to be very self-aware this month, of your own shortcomings otherwise you'll fall into victim mentality and punish your partner for things they didn't actually do, communication here is going to be extremely important if you want to keep this relationship.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ SAGITTARIUS.

A month of a lot of changes, big and small. Your mindset on relationships will change a lot on the course of this month, you will start being more flexible on certain things, and learn to say no in others. These next few days are only as difficult as you make them, be optimistic and don't ignore problems that can arise in any kind of connection, wising up is important if you want something to really last, don't run for the hills.

❥ Singles; Meeting a lot of interesting people this next month, but don't get caught up in excitement or you'll end up in a situation you will not know how to crawl your way out of. Don't involve yourself with people that you don't really know very well just because you're bored, it will be difficult for you to get out of certain situations if you don't think things through.

❥ in a Relationship; this month will bring many issues that were not solved, it's important for you and your partner to not ignore the same problems again because they might become too much to handle. These next days are going to feel like a chore, but it will make the connection a lot more stronger if you know how to maturely solve them and not just run away from them.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ CAPRICORN.

A month of many ups and downs, your confidence as well as your trust in people will diminish a lot, there have been rough times that you are still trying to go back from but is taking you a lot of time to process your emotions, in love things might not look as good as you'd wish. But sometimes we're the makers of our own hell, you don't want to open up to new opportunities or to tell people how you're feeling, so they won't know what you're going through, in terms, that makes you feel ignored. But it is you who is doing this to yourself subconsciously.

❥ Singles; This month in love you will feel a lot too deeply but won't be able to express it, you will feel more lonely than usual because you'll want more companionship than usual. But this is a time to think as to why you feel this way, if it's self-inflicted or there's really someone who makes you feel insecure in yourself. Try not to dwell on the past, what's done is done, you will not change the past but you can decide what to do in the present, don't be so untrustful of others, if you feel too much, it's okay to talk about it, it'll help.

❥ in a Relationship; there is a disconnect between you and your partner, this month will really be testing both of your patience, you'll want to hide and not talk about what's been bothering you, but beware of this behavior because it can cause big problems on the relationship, it can cause it to end, if you need to be alone for a little bit, then be alone, take a break, don't stay in a situation of you feel like is unsalvageable. But don't try to make it more difficult for the other person just because you're not happy and don't know how to talk about it.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ AQUARIUS.

A month of a lot of misunderstanding and indecisiveness, it will be difficult for you to see eye to eye with people in general this month. You will want to be alone a lot but things and people will just want your attention. There are things you won't be able to ignore no matter how much you try, if you are not in the mood for socializing, it's okay, but don't turn your back on loved ones when they need you the most, or there won't be anyone there when you're feeling down. Be more patient with other people's emotions.

❥ Singles; You are indecisive about many things in life right now, your emotions are all over the place and you don't know how to express them, or just don't want to. There will be people drawn to your energy and maybe this is a time where you'll want to be alone, don't get anyone's hopes up if you're not ready for anything, a time for introspection is needed, but don't isolate yourself or you'll end up going back to unhealthy patterns.

❥ in a Relationship; If you and your partner are going through a though time, it's something that overtime can come to an end but it will be important to not ignore the relationships issues, if you're feeling detached from your partner, this month is perfect to get closer and make the bond stronger, but you have to be willing to do it, you'll be too much in your head these next days so beware of things you might miss out in the relationship.

personalized love reading for u <3

❥ PISCES.

A month of many ups and downs in love. You will be exploring new things with new people or with your partner, a lot of things you had planned will not follow through and you can get stressed about little things, try to not get emotional over anything that isn't really a big deal. You will feel things a lot this month and it will make you question decisions you took in the past, don't overextend yourself to just anyone, save your energy for people that really need it.

❥ Singles; A month that'll bring you disappointments in love, it might not be as active as you'd want it to be or the people you liked didn't reciprocate these emotions, you have a hard time dealing with things that will happen this month because you will not expect it, things are going to be changing, for the most part for the better, be sure to know what you want and what you don't want, don't let people treat you badly or like a second choice.

❥ in a Relationship; This month you will face many hardships in your relationship that you'll have to learn to solve on the go, don't be lethargic, don't let things to just happen to your relationship and try to solve them, tests are arising this month and you'll need to know where you stand with your partner, if any inconvenience is going to break you apart, or if you can deal with the obstacles that'll come these next days, try to not overthink too much, instead take action, of you want your relationship to continue don't just let things happen.

personalized love reading for u <3

<3 that's all y'all book my readings please <3

[yandere-yearnings]

Mx Dar.. do we have any.. Ehem, NSFW head cannons for Vio?

*slides over a wad of Monopoly money*

ahaha we are going straight into the transactions today❗❗for such a hefty sum, ofc you can get nsfw vio hcs😌💕 *takes monopoly money and stows it away* it's a pleasure doing business w/ you🤧

NSFW under the cut!

Unsurprisingly, Vio is very much a brat in bed, for the most part at least.

He likes to rile you up. Everything just feels that much better when you're angry and frustrated. Knowing he has control over you like that, he plays with your emotions to no end.

It goes both ways, but he enjoys degrading you much more than the other way around. Spitting at you, calling you names — anything to make you snap and pin him down because he absolutely loves the feeling of being forced into submission.

Your hands on his wrists, pressing him into the mattress so hard that your pulses becomes indistinguishable, the heat rolls off of in waves and he's entirely enamoured by the idea that only he can pull this intensity out of you.

His career means he has to be careful about marks and bruises, but if he didn't have to worry about the media picking apart his sex life, Vio would've liked to try bondage.

When his schedule isn't busy and he can afford a few days of recovery, he might even ask you to tie him up, loose enough that he doesn't have to worry about rope burn. Hands unable to stray too far from the headboard, legs spread and completely defenseless — all scenes straight from his wet dreams.

Although, due to his upbringing and life in the spotlight, Vio's spoiled and it bleeds into his habits in bed. He's a pillow prince through and through.

It's really all he knows. Everyone is always at his hands and feet, trying to please him to the extent that they've started to look like fools in his eyes. Why should he have to pull his weight for people like that?

He'd try for you, if it was something you really wanted, though you'd have to be prepared for complementary taunts because clearly you're desperate for him and Vio will not leave you alone about it.

One thing he does well is make himself pretty for you, and on that note, if you were to ever bring up dollification or feminisation, he would be onboard without complaint. He's ever confident in himself, especially his appearance, and he knows he looks good in everything, lacy lingerie and dresses included.

Taking pictures and videos to capture his beauty is only natural, right? He'd be offended if you didn't.

In most instances, Vio always has something to say, biting back fast enough you'd think he'd somehow prepared his snarky remarks in advance. However, he can be strangely obedient at times, depending on how assertive you are.

He gets so amicable and quiet that it can be slightly jarring, but moments like those are always so peaceful to him and he will never admit how much he appreciates it when you bring them about.

Praise makes him preen, but he is slightly desensitised to it. If you set up a situation where he has to work for your acknowledgement, it does so much more for him than you'd think. It'll be on his mind for days, and sometimes have him blushing in the middle of shooting a scene at work.

He doesn't like being made to wait for pleasure, so he'd much rather be overstimulated than edged. You could still try it as a form of punishment, but Vio is more likely to give you a hard time because it puts him in a bad mood.

He knows himself well, rest assured he'll let you know what he does or doesn't want — he isn't the type to try new things without thorough scrutiny.

He actually has a fairly low sex drive. If you don't build up his desire with good enough foreplay, you can forget about bedding him. Talk some tension into the air, grab his hips hard when no one's watching, his head will go empty of all thoughts, bar you.

Massages make him horny, the pressure on his taut muscles has his eyes rolling back. His inner thighs are really sensitive, so focusing on them will bring out the sweetest moans from him.

Acting has put him in a lot of positions over the years and as a result, Vio is both nimble and flexible enough that it works to the both of your advantages. Whether giving or receiving, there is no doubt that you'll be meeting in the middle without fail if you let him put his skills to use.

He's big on hate sex as long as there's no hair-pulling involved. You'll never be able to convince him to let your hands anywhere near his scalp.

Aftercare is a must. Vio genuinely will not sleep with you again if you don't give him the proper attention he needs when everything is said and done. Talk to him as he winds down, wipe the sweat from his skin and run him a bath at that specific temperature you know he likes.

He notes the things you do, the way you work the knots from wet locks and bring him water before he asks. It's unexpected, but he repays you in kind.

Worry about how he'll manage work the next day, say you'll make it up for tiring him out by staying by his side. Satisfaction is great, but it's everything following that has Vio admitting he loves you.

[seafoamreadings]

week of august 11th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: mars on jupiter is no small thing, especially for you. but it's much more benevolent than the fairly recent mars-uranus conjunction even with saturn involved. your appetites are large and your impulses likely feel very urgent. it's good to listen to them, but be sure to think before acting or even speaking.

taurus: you may feel pressure to spend money or resources (including time or too much thought). even if it's worth it, it'll most likely wait until a time of less pressure so you can get your mind clear. try to spend only on real emergencies and basic necessities for now. i know i can't talk a taurus (such as myself) into not having a little treat though... just keep it small.

gemini: mars and jupiter meet up in your sign for what promises to be an intense set of urges. it does make you look powerful to others; no need to put on any displays because it just radiates off of you. if it's contrived it actually looks weaker. anyway, use that to your advantage this week but don't think you have to act on anything just yet. it's okay to just sit and look intimidating for now.

cancerians: there's a lot going on and you're sensitive enough that you've definitely noticed. yet you have your act together so well that others may view you as unshaken and utterly unperturbed which is not a bad situation to be in. let your finances show it; mercury back into leo this week can have you tempted with bad investments. just hold on to the cash for now.

leo: seems like just yesterday mercury was in your sign... well, he's back already thanks to his retrograde. as long as you've been good with your traditional mercury retrograde protocols, this benefits you, and slow movements and delays also benefit you. you are regal, eloquent, and charismatic as long as you don't let your nerves show.

virgo: while it's true that mercury retrogrades almost flamboyantly back into leo this week, it doesn't mean you get to return to ease just yet. relationships and your reputation are, at least in small ways and possibly in quite large ways, on the line. if you want to experiment with cutting something off, this is a good time to give it a tentative try. it will likely come back and when it does you can re-evaluate if you want to welcome it back or send it away for good.

libra: this week is broadly supportive to you but at the same time it is tense and probably encased in a strange aura. the tension makes for growth and the strange aura is mostly just a sign of the times. lean into academic pursuits and broad, new horizons.

scorpio: your sign gets described as intense a lot, but even you may feel a bit overwhelmed by the tension and high weirdness of this week. take nothing for granted and expect the unexpected. things come and things go and they're going to happen fast for a while.

sagittarius: the weird vibes of the week may kind of suit you. that's weird as in wyrd, not weird as in some creep... weird in a good way in this case, although you can expect upheaval and many changes. they may well not be permanent though, as mercury is smack in the middle of the retrograde.

capricorn: your ruling planet saturn is up to a lot of quiet activity in a tumultuous time. changes made need backbones to stay around. if something happens you don't like, give it no structure. if something happens you do like, give it a steady foundation to continue. when mercury goes direct again many feeble things disappear.

aquarius: one thing you cannot do at this time is expect relationships to make sense. and this is not at all restricted to romantic relationships, but all kinds - the axis between yourself and 'the other.' and even your relationship to the world around you. you relative to the sky, the trees, and gravity. it's not going to be logical this week (or probably next either). that actually is probably cool with you since although you appreciate reason, you know the value of the unconventional.

pisces: neptune sextile pluto (they're both in retrograde) IS old magic. you are the magickian. you don't even have to try. but if you do try, it is more orderly. meanwhile saturn is providing a lot of structure for the magic to stick to, to give it form in the tangible world around you. it's NOT all in your head. this is unification of all ethereal realms and the condensate realm in front of your eyes. do with that information whatever you will.

[leoruby-draws]

Decided to drop some Vanessa drawings, l love drawing her a lot! It can be a challenge with the hair and wings but thats part of the fun for me!

This here drawing kinda feels like a valentine type of drawing, tho the only love interest Vanessa had was a boy she had a crush on (did they date? Can't remember lol) who had a crush on Wonder Woman herself. Think his name was Brian or Brad? Poor Vanessa, thats middle school romance for you I guess.

Vanessa has been shown with almost every hair color and texture in the comics,seriously she's been blonde, a red head, brunette, its been all over the place. So I've been sorta compromising on which colors/textures I liked best. What I wanted to do was have Vanessa have her curly brown hair as a little kid pre-Silver Swan, have her hair red/straight due to her unwanted transformation, than slowly it turns less red and more wavy as time goes on. I made it pink, since as I've said before I just really like pink hair (I blame anime lol). Maybe as she grows older It'll become more orange, resembling her introduction as Silver Swan from the comics.

This drawing is just a bit of a tease on the story of Jason meeting Vanessa, looks like she wasn't too receptive to any company at the time. I have an idea of how they meet and even kinda how Jason convinces her to join up with him, Rose and Eddie. I've just been a bit lazy on getting it started.

Another drawing, I draw Vanessa sad a lot huh? Well her story is really sad, can't be helped. She's not just sad tho, there's an intense bitterness in her as well, she's truly angry at what's happened to her. We don't get to see it that much in the comics, as they're more focused on Diana's feelings and horror at the situation (Vanessa is a supporting character tbf).

When I'm making all my doodles for my TrWh au, I like to try to make the characters lives more happier and easier, to better fit the more light-hearted world I want to do. But sometimes the backstory of a certain character won't really allow for that, so I can try to make it a little less awful but to change it completely would mean I would have to come up with an entirely different backstory. But that would mean changing Vanessa, and part of what appeals her to me is that bitterness and anger.

At least she has more friends with the Outlaws in this universe, case in point:

Hopefully they can help her have some fun in her life.

Anyways, hope you liked all that!

[mattdillonbae]

𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐂 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐈 𝐒 𝐒 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐑

𝐏 𝐎 𝐍 𝐘 𝐁 𝐎𝐘 𝐒 𝐂 𝐎 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐓 𝐑 𝐈 𝐀 𝐋

˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ⋆⭒˚.⋆ ⋆.ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:･༄ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ᯓ★ ˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

The room was unnaturally quiet, a stark contrast to the tumultuous storm raging outside. Raindrops pattered against the window, each one a silent whisper that seemed to carry the weight of the world with it. Inside, a single lamp cast a warm, flickering glow across the worn wooden floorboards, illuminating the huddled forms of the Curtis siblings. You, the youngest at twelve, had your knees drawn up to your chest, your eyes glued to the judge. The judges voice droned on, recounting the events of the night that had led to her brother Ponyboy's arrest. You bit your lower lip, the tremble in your hands betraying the fear you tried so hard to keep hidden. Ponyboy's face, etched with a mix of shock and defiance, filled the small room. You felt a lump in her throat, the gravity of the situation threatening to overwhelm you. Darry, the eldest of the siblings, sat in next to you and Sodapop, his eyes never straying from you. He could almost see the storm of emotions swirling within you. As the case report grew more intense, your trembling grew worse, and your breaths grew shallow. With a gentle sigh,he placed a firm but comforting hand on your back, his thumb tracing small circles in a soothing rhythm. His eyes remained on what the judge was saying, his jaw clenched tight, but his attention was solely on you.

"It'll be over soon, baby," Darry murmured, his voice low and steady. "Pony'll be okay."

You nodded, trying to believe his words. You felt the warmth of his hand on your back, his touch a silent promise of protection. Despite the chaos that had become their lives, Darry had always been your rock, the one you could lean on when the world felt too heavy. His kiss on the top of your head was a familiar comfort, one you had known since you were a child. It was a silent language that spoke of love and reassurance, a tender gesture that seemed to calm the tempest of your fears. Sodapop, their middle brother, returned from his daze. His eyes searched their faces, noting the tension in the room. He gave you a gentle smile, “Darry’s right, Pony will be okay.” His voice was softer than usual, the usual teasing tone absent. Soda knew the gravity of the situation; he had seen the same fear in your eyes that he felt in his own heart. They were all walking a tightrope, balancing on the edge of a future that seemed uncertain and perilous. You managed a small smile for Soda, but the sadness and worry remained, pooled in your eyes like rainwater in a storm drain. Darry took a deep breath, his own eyes reflecting the turmoil of the night's events. He didn't know what to say to ease your pain, so he just held you closer, his arm wrapping around your slim shoulders like a protective shield. The whispers grew louder in the room, as random people and friends of the family trickled in, their hushed voices a cacophony of concern. They spoke in low tones about the trial, the tension between the Greasers and the Socs, and the fate of the youngest Curtis. Darry's jaw clenched with every mention of Ponyboy's name, his eyes flashing with a mix of anger and fear. He knew that his little brother had been forced into a corner, and the thought of him facing the consequences alone was unbearable.

———————————————————————————

Hours later, as the storm outside finally began to abate, the news broke. The judge had ruled in favor of Ponyboy, stating that he was not the one who had committed the murder, but rather had acted in self-defense. It was Johnny Cade, their friend, who had made the fateful decision to protect them both from Bob Sheldon's violent intentions. The words "not guilty" echoed in the room like a distant bell, bringing with it a wave of relief that washed over your taut frame. You looked up at Darry, your eyes wide with hope and unshed tears. Darry and Soda both let out breaths they seemed to be holding and chuckled a bit but didn't say anything. The tension that had coiled around them like a tightening noose slowly began to unravel. For the first time that night, Darry felt a genuine smile tug at the corners of his mouth. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling her into a fierce hug. Soda, too, let out a sigh of relief, his eyes misting over as he released his tie that he'd been clutching. The room was still, save for the distant thunder that rumbled outside like a fading echo of their fear. As soon as Ponyboy got off the stand and met his siblings outside, he rushed the rest of their makeshift family. Then they all rushed toward the him, pulling him into the warmth of their embrace. The room was a tangle of limbs and emotions, mostly relief and joy. "I love you buddy," Darry said, his voice choked with a mix of pride and fear as he held Ponyboy tightly, his eyes glistening. It was a declaration of brotherly love that was rarely spoken aloud in their tough exterior world, but it was felt in every bone of their bodies, every beat of their hearts. Ponyboy leaned into the hug, feeling the weight of the world lifting off his shoulders. The warmth of his brother's embrace was the most comforting thing he had felt in weeks.

[catboywrites]

Update

Hey everyone. Long time no see. I want to once again thank you for your patience in waiting for updates, reassure you that none of my fics are abandoned, and give you an update about what is going on.

So, longest story short, I've been in the middle of both a physical and mental health episode that started around April but has only since gotten worse. I have a compromised immune system, but it's not enough to keep me house bound full time. It just means I get sicker more frequently and more intensely than others do. What could be exhaustion from a hot day could easily turn into a flare up of fever and leave me in bed. If I get too emotional reading something and cry a lot, it has turned on me and gotten me sick the next day in the form of sinus infections or a bronchitis flare up. It's something I've struggled with for almost my whole life and it just hit me back to back to back these past few months. On top of my pre-existing lung conditions which always suffer in the summer with the heat, I just got dogged down very fast and I was spending more time in bed sick than I was outside of bed able to function normally.

On the mental side of things, I had to change dosages of my migraine medication a few months ago, and it led to me having to go to the emergency room. Since then my finances have been struggling due to a cost I didn't expect and since I live alone, it has been hard for me to play catch up. It's drained me emotionally and along with normal depression, and I was just trying to survive paycheck to paycheck. I am still not in a place I want to be, but I realistically can't wait to be in that place, because who knows when, or if, it'll ever come.

And the third thing is my lovely beta. She is an essential part of my creative process, I bounce ideas off of her, she makes sure my writing doesn't sound like shit, all the good things that come from a beta. But she is also my best friend. Due to my situations and her situations, we have had a lot less contact in the past few months and I don't want to add to her stress with what's going on. She is also on the other side of the world, so trying to find times that work for both of us has gotten harder. And I want to spend the time I do get with her on just being us, not having to fuss over fanfics.

The updates will start again fairly soon. Just give me a little more time to try and settle into my new reality.

I appreciate you all so greatly, thank you for reading this update, and once again thank you for your patience.

[facade]

journaling, some highs and some more personal lows. you get some art at the end as a treat

highs include

finished my program, now i'm free from the shackles of intensive outpatient for good(?) with only little obligations to keep record of. i really can't believe it's been eight months, but i'm finally free of it. it wasn't a negative experience much at all, but it was definitely exhausting and strainful. happy to leave with my pet therapist, though

my therapist likes me so much that she's allowed me to take a spot for pro bono. very grateful for this

i'm eating more regularly, no longer used to the '1 meal a day' routine i've had for a decade now, i actually have more of a proper routine! planning meals out

talks of moving in with boyfriend that feel motivating. i think it would be good for me to leave the living situation i'm in

finished art for this game i was participating in! excited to see it completed, even if i feel very amateur and out of place in this team of very talented artists

almost finished setting up for my trip to see squares!

the lows

Because of my schedule, i just have been feeling pretty lonely this entire year. I'm a quiet person, but i think i'm especially suffering due to how much my routine seems to clash with my chances of socializing. and my mental health hasn't been the best. I miss talking a lot with friends

haven't been drawing much nice things lately. usually i'm more productive

dysphoria is an ever existing fixture of my life. But due to my living conditions i will never be able to transition even if i really wanted to. Oh well! I don't really care, and it truly is the least of my problems.

my health has been feeling.. worse. but i'm a paranoid so i don't think i'm particularly reliable to confirm it actually is. it's just been getting harder to walk, i have a permanent ache in my hips and spine, and my painkillers have a worn off affect. it's getting harder for me to walk without a lot of intense pain, and my legs just feel heavier. I have to remind myself that this very well could be due to my flare-up. and these flare-ups last a long time. i can walk for hours on some days and feel completely fine. Not now, though.

my rheumatologist told me to stop taking my current prescription immediately and gave me a brand new one. it'll be ready by tomorrow

i fainted at the hospital yesterday due to my (very usual) anti-inflammatory injection. it was right in front of my rheuma's office which was particularly humiliating and it was very dramatic, which was even more humiliating, because the ambulance was called and there were paramedics, and oxygen was given to me, and i think i was more stressed out by the fact that i caused such a big deal rather than my concerning collapse

this wasn't a concerning issue and was moreso that i probably came to the hospital unprepared for my usual shot, as there was nothing wrong an hour later. i think i didn't eat enough. I'm just embarrassed it happened hahaha

The Middle

have to figure out if i want to commit to new injections, which are much more frequent than my previous ones. but absolutely mandatory 3 times a year, every year for the rest of my life. pros, it wipes my psoriasis and pain for the most part. cons, it severely weakens my immune system and will be possibly dangerous if i don't commit to the injections. much to mull over. my tiktok has had a lot of europeans bragging lately about wonderful healthcare it makes me wonder if i'd be a lot better taking care of my health if i wasn't in america. In the south. Hummmm

been playing a lot of fear and hunger races with a friend lately. me and prince name our characters(i play cahara, he plays ragnvaldr) and we race to try and deem the winner the last one to die. it's addicting

Silent Hill 1 remake announcement! I'm quite excited. I love Silent Hill 1. Again, I had a bit of issue with silent hill 2's remake, but it was a very passionate attempt and I have to give bloober a lot of credit for it. I will give it a lot of praise. I hope to have the same feelings of support for the SH1 remake being that it's also being done by bloober. Hooray for Silent Hill revival!

I'm excited for Metal Gear Solid Delta, but ... what is really the point, haha? They're reusing the same lines from the original game, is it truly just - reinvented gameplay and completely reanimated? I wonder if they've just rounded up every voice actor to put in additional scenes or something. My theory, I suppose. I'll still play it. i want to make squares watch me hahahaha

Been playing a lot of fallout new vegas lately. Good game to replay over and over. I got unironically really mad at the xbox showcase for showing bethesda's mug logo only to display a fishing update for 76. I was honestly kind of praying for a 5. It's not happening. But new vegas is really good, so it's okay. I've never played fallout 1 or 2, but I want to eventually. that's my game log.

my little log is over. you've seen an insight into my personal life and for that you can have some of my drawings that i've managed to draw and one WIP as compensation... now i must go rest because typing all of this has done some serious damage to my arm hahaha. good night

[bnsni]

OFFICER PROWL AND SELKIE

think I did a little drabble of the idea, but this is the polished one :D manifesting I finish this mini-fic during may grahhh. selkie asks -> this and this. Thanks to gourmet anon for the idea 🫡

—[pt one]

THE half-crystalized water ripples back with a waver, and leaning over the ledge of the boat, he's got a decent glimpse of his own cinched up expression. Immediately, whether it was because the intensity was too much even for his own to bear, the scowl loosens and Prowl's left dumbly blinking at the water.

Not the most ideal kind of climate to scour for a dead body — winter, especially.The sky scathed with cotton clouds might as well merge with the ether as one.Then again, it's not the most normal kind of murder he's faced with : dead body dropped in the middle of the lake and all.

Despite the gloves, his fingers twitched, nose and ears blossomed red like the veneer of his boots. Bluestreak had called him 'lobster face', 'lobster scowl' and the variations culminating from that nickname alone is enough to give a Cougar a run for it's money. 

All he wants is to get this charade done and over with. While it's a bitter pill to swallow, it's not like the body will suddenly appear when he wants it to be, does it? Somewhere around the waters, floating, gliding along the currents. Wedged between rocks, too. It'll take more than a few weeks at most to map out the entire creek — that is, if the creatures down there haven't torn the body to pieces, already....

Or if Sentinel, bonus if he got a kick out of it, had decided the pendant wasn't worth uncovering, called off the search. He's an interesting specimen like that. Actually, no. Better not resort to that line of thought, yet. That's the worse to come out of this situation.

He's yet give that prick an earful. 

A cloud of air seethes through his teeth, frostbitten. He'll have to head inside and warm up before he can continue searching for another hour.His joints are already locked, the muscles taut and stiff, fingers with barely any pulse of warmth in it and his nose might as well pop off by now with how the cold’s nipping it numb.

Prowl plods towards the end of the boat, boots clacking the surface. As he's hauling up the rope, grunting with his gloves curled round the thread, the sudden ire of the floorboards creaking made him stiffen. He halts. 

Prowl swivels around.

All that were there on his left was a cliff-side, cloaked with snow. He could barely see the top because of the fog, and it loomed over him like a stretched out cloud of shadow. On his right, were silhouettes of valleys and trees galore. Figures human-like, almost daunting. 

And still — nothing in sight.

Another creak resounds. The water surrounding the boat rippled. Prowl tilts his head to listen, eyes narrowed. His heart pulsed when another creak sounded. Then, another creak. Another. And, many more. Following in succession like the purging of bullets. 

Something is under this boat—!

Prowl let's out a startled grunt when the boat tips forward, launching him face first into the waters, immediately strangling him of air. It's a cold slap to his face and a quick pierce through the layers of his clothing.

It's cold. Cold, cold, cold. And, he's struggling to breathe under the weight of the water and the heavy layers of his clothing didn't help. Steadying his breath, Prowl claws upwards, reaching for the frayed ends of the rope that dawdled over the boat— 

Only to be tugged down by slick tendrils  curling around his ankle. Prowl let's out a startled shout, kicking and thrashing his leg to get it off but his effort is proven futile as all it does in the face of his struggle is yank him down further into the abyss. 

One look at the visage below — what he's greeted with is not such a genial sight.

Yellow eyes, a face and fangs.

[myhatisblue]

Part 2 doneeee. I'd assume it'll be one or two more parts depending on how much I want to expand things. It's been fun to explore the rules of the pocket dimension.

Now that a gentle wind was blowing the gears in my brain were spinning on all cylinders. How can I keep this momentum going and what do I work on next?

I’d gotten pretty good at ignoring it be shit, some pretty rough rashes and skin irritation had been building up over the few weeks of wandering without much purpose. It wasn’t like I intended on diving into gore daily but sleeping quickly became the largest cause of the problem. While I was able to move the meat and bone around a little, there wasn’t really a way to stop the blood seeping out of basically everything. It pooled no matter what I tried. Leading to a routine of walking without much direction till my legs gave out, then trying to set up somewhere to sleep, and passing out oh whatever damp pathetic bed I’d managed to cobble together out of the readily available viscera.

Everything had its own strange sense of movement when left alone. Some of the tissue moved around like snakes others just subtly expanded and compressed. It’s fucked up, but the breathing and subtle movement of my sleeping arrangements ended up being somehow comforting despite being soaked. It was like being rocked to sleep, while incoherent whispers that hated me lulled me to sleep. Never leaving me feeling particularly good or well rested afterwards, but I’d take it over endless nightmares.

The fun started when I woke up, cause nothing ended up looking the same as when I fell asleep. Sometimes I’d be in a ravine and would have to climb my way out, other times I’d wake up in the middle of a lake of red.  You don’t really take into account what a pain in the ass swimming through blood is. There’s how much thicker it is compared to water, how overwhelming the smell is when it gets up your nose. Worst of all is how almost sticky it leaves you feeling while it dries. Turns out that no matter how many times you end up in pools of plasma the experience is always just as shitty as the first. 

That was what made water the next obvious step. If I could get clean I could at least start to solve how much my skin was screaming at me. Couldn’t imagine how Sneckdraw put up with this kinda shit day in and out. But after he landed me in this mess at least it’s nice to know he’s out there suffering… that’s if he was even capable of feeling anything given the state he’s in. Fuck that guy… 

Tangents aside, the first step was testing everything I could think of.   I tried everything from waving my arms around while shouting magic words I’d seen used in movies, to chanting ‘bring me water’ over and over, and even staring intensely at a puddle and thinking about times it rained. All with no tangible results… Well none besides making Kenneth laugh his ass off at me, making an already embarrassing situation fucking worse. 

Maybe I was thinking too small? The wind was a pretty grand undertaking. Maybe I needed more blood around me to work with as a reference point? I wasn’t getting any better ideas. So I started traveling in search of any kind of large pool of liquid. 

It was slow, sores had practically spread to every part of my body. Some more embarrassing and painful than the rest. I was running out of steam faster and faster and the time I needed to stop and lay down had only increased. It gave me a ton of experience moving parts of the terrain and figuring out what kind of meat ended up being the most comfortable.  Turns out that something resembling a lung inflated like an air mattress worked pretty well as the centerpiece of a flesh bed.

The more I altered things the more I understood that It seems to naturally follow the direction I’m leading it.  Muscle and tissue forming together or breaking apart to fit the desired shape as naturally as building sand castles out of packed buckets. It made the distinction between the flesh, and how the wind worked all the more glaring… I had to work, dig into memories to get that air going at that start, but it became ingrained in the land itself once it’d been fully realized. 

This was great because thinking about that shit so much made my head hurt.  The problem that reared its head was that I didn’t have any say in how fast it was or where it came from. I could just tell it to exist or not.  

My grand plans were great and all… But with all this time stopped to recover my brain kept going back to how I ended up here… Why the fuck would I be so heavily monitored and then just dumped in here alone? It’s a stupid risk and…! Urgh does it even matter? I know Sneckdraw… At least enough to say that his no further support comment wasn’t a joke. Getting sloppy, or giving up would give him an excuse to put me down. Even the method of delivering supplies was a silent threat that screamed ‘we are watching’. While I knew Sneck wasn’t likely the one who made the call to ship me off to my personal hell, he was the only face and name I had to blame. 

Making it even more annoying since I know he’s got shit figured out when it comes to paranormal bullshit. So asshole or not this had to be my way forward, the wind was more than enough proof of that. Involving anyone else at this point is just a sure fire way to make sure more lives ended due to my hands. 

Fuck I can rationalize all of it, but it still pisses me off. 

“You've got that look on your face again. Something’s got your brain spinning. ”

Ugh I was caught again. Was my face really that easy to read, or had Ken just gotten good at figuring me out? 

“I’m kinda a garbage person aren’t I?”

“You’re just catching on to that now Mills? Let’s give the man a round of applause! Ha, I knew you were slow but I figured you were a little faster than a slug. You're the roach guy after all.”

“Don’t even start with the insect thing… I’m bitter about everything, like I can see the logic to every move being made but…”

“But dancing on those strings has you feeling suffocated.”

“I wouldn’t say that exactly… It’s more like I don’t have it in me to be so… Selfless maybe? Like I’m angry, and didn’t ask for any of this, but I know wallowing in that shit is a waste of time. At the same time… how do people get past the ‘doing what’s bad for you, but good for everyone else’ thing without hating everything, everyone and yourself at the end.”

“Severe brain damage?”

“I’m being serious.”

“I know, I just don’t get why you think forcing some shady organization’s cock down your throat for the good of humanity is something you have to do.  You're the one who could easily kill all of them. Why would you ever remotely consider kneeling at their feet like you're planning on doing?”

“Everything that happened here, and to me, was because of beasts that just wanted to devour everything. I can’t just be like them.. I’ve seen what happens if it goes unchecked, I can’t just forget.”

“Do I have to ask you to name someone who died here again? Who they were, and everything left of those people is already gone. Why get all bent outta shape over some corpses you don’t even know? Plus I’m the one who helped feed all those people to the old boss, and look at me, I feel great about it.”

“You're a bastard though…. Even if faces are names might be gone now, what happened isn’t. I know others once went through the same hell I did. And that when everything was said and done the only thing that greeted them was a fucking massacre. 

There’s never going to be a way to act like nothing happened. To pretend that this place doesn’t still make me sick. Not even if you keep piping up with your bullshit to shake off those shadows chasing after me.”

“And here lies Gaspar Mills, an idiot too stupid to be selfish. Even when the only thing getting hurt is some rotten flesh way past the expiration date. He’s doomed to fight with the fact that he deserves what’s happening, but that the method being used is too much even for a sack of shit like him…!

That’s reall rough buddy, doubt it’ll ever get any better either. Right now the other players don’t know what you’ve pulled off. Your only advantage is that they’re incapable of even considering that what you did was possible. Their ego alone has bought you some time. The problem is, you’ve left them a trail of neon lights leading directly to the truth. And once all other options are crossed out they are going to look over to the fucking insect and realize it took one of their kind out. 

Then they’ll come knocking, finding all kinds of fucked up ways to get you to either join them, or fuel their ambitions…  When that happens… when you find hells deeper than you could ever imagine.. Will you still be willing to rip yourself apart like this to save a bunch of nobodies? No ones ever gonna thank you for it. If anything they’ll blame you for being alive in the first place.”

I stopped walking and stared at the ground for a moment and considered his words. It was obvious I'd eventually be a target marked by a lot of eyes. Honestly that was likely the one thing I was avoiding thinking about more than anything… I’d already sat at their dinner table after all, while they might not be fully aware of what I’d done yet it’s not a hard puzzle to put together. I had to stab the shit out of myself to even make it out of that one…

I looked back at him.

“I’d be stupid or delusional to think I’d ever know for sure… I guess I’d want to do what would be easiest to live with afterwards.  It already feels like corpses are clung to my back from just owning this place alone… I don’t want to add any more to that weight if I can help it.”

Ken stared at me, the look of disgust and disappointment buried into me. Sighing loudly before speaking again.

“Mills, you’re so fucking boring.  Just be cool and break some shit, rule with an iron fist, and beat the hell out of anyone who starts talking shit.”

“Your peer pressure game needs a little work there Ken.”

“Or you're just the worst person to ever inherit the corpse of an elder being. People would start wars over that, and you're here just like ‘I don’t wanna be mean and sad anymore’. I don’t get it.”

“I guess I’m just stupid… wonder if that’s better than delusional…”

Maybe Ken’s got the more realistic response to new found power.  If I ask myself what I realistically want, it’s to just go home, eat something freshly cooked, and pass out on my couch watching movies. Not a long term plan sure, but it sounds like heaven right now. 

Really anything related to all of this seems far above my pay grade. Just thinking about where Ken's line of logic is bad. What I did is something people will want to replicate, and they sure as hell won’t share my dreams of a carefree life. Not that I think it’d be possible without Lucy's involvement… and I’d bet my remaining eye that she was more involved in what happened than it seems. All I really even knew about her is that she wasn’t human, and was hiding terrifying power behind that fancy suit of hers. If Ken’s stupid claims that she’s Lucifer, the Devil or some biblical bullshit is even remotely true it sparks some implications I don’t think anyone would be capable of handling. 

Fuck I was stupid when I handed over the knife that dealt the final blow to Descry. The fight I had with Sneckdraw at the end didn’t make anything better or solve all my problems with him. It was a glorified temper tantrum. I should have clung onto the knife like it was the only thing keeping me alive. The pocket watch she’d slipped in as a bonus wasn’t with me when I woke up in control again.  I’d just assumed it was gone for good, lost in some pile of meat far away.  Yet at some point during this little trip I woke up and it was back in my pocket.  Maybe that’s her way of saying she’s watching, or maybe it’s just burnt into my soul now and there’s no getting rid of it… These problems were too grand and I’d never get any answers to them here. It was just distracting from the problems at hand…

It took longer than expected to find the body of liquid I was looking for.  If anything was to blame it was letting my mind get off track. For a long while most of the terrain was infested by sharp spikes of bone of all kinds of sizes. It wasn’t until I focused on my plan again and only that plan that I found results.  It was just that they were a little more successful than I anticipated…

It wasn’t a lake or small pond I’d found… This looked like a goddamn ocean. 

“God fucking dammit…”

I scratched at my head with both hands, the greasy hair not at all helping to alleviate the stress of this being what I need to work with. I wanted to scream but ended up watching Ken as he plopped himself down next to ‘water's’ edge and leaned back to stare at me.

“Well you got what you wanted, wouldn’t have killed you to be a little more specific.”

“Getting wind working was one thing, but fuck how do I handle this??”

“Start by closing your eyes... You remember the first real conversation we had?”

He sounded different, there wasn’t any sign of his normal cockiness, it was… strange to say the least. I sat down next to him not having it in me anymore to worry about what I was even sitting on. Everything I was wearing was already ruined, and my body was already screaming in pain. 

Closing my eyes I dug back through my memories.

“We’d talked a few times before in passing, but the first real conversation was on the beach straight out from the compound.  It was after the fourth or fifth death I think?”

“I guess you do still have a handle on what memories are left.” 

“Not like I could have forgotten, you were fucking weird back then. Everyone was pretty messed up by that point though.”

“They were either hiding in their rooms, setting up little teams to make sure nothing could sneak up on them, or at each other's necks blaming each other for being the killer. While you, you were on the beach having a picnic.”

“It wasn’t really a picnic, I’d just dragged out a blanket to have something to lay down on… Figured I’d be there a bit cause I was getting a little stir crazy.”

“Looked more like you were waiting to die.”

“Probably was. After seeing what was happening to the people dying, cleaning up the mess afterwards, and desperately trying to go back to pretend I was fine. I didn’t care about anything.”

“It was when you told me that you’d rather end up splattered on the beach than cooped up in some room that got me. ‘Eric’ was so confident that it’d be easier to clean up that way, that the smell probably wouldn’t be so bad. ‘They can just toss my body pieces into the ocean and let the fish deal with it!’ ”

“Then you started going on about how you’d never seen a fish before, and how the more likely outcome would be that people would be finding my remains washed up for weeks on end.

 The remains part was grim and all that but..”

“You were really stuck on the part about me having never seen a fish before.” 

“I would have pinned you down as one of the murderers then and there but you started going on about how you knew about fish sticks though. That you couldn’t imagine how something capable of eating a person could end up stick shaped. I was so fucking stupid I just assumed you were screwing with me, and it was a weird sense of humor thing. ”

“We didn’t get much information on humans when it started. So I knew they needed to eat sleep and fuck to survive, everything just went back to one of those things. You entertaining those stupid conversations made me more interested in how people thought, why you were laughing when I was just saying what seemed obvious to me. It was a puzzle I wanted to solve.”

“I was just trying to relax on the beach as much as I could before I checked out for good… Then you just had to stay there for hours. Making piles of sand as tall as you could, jumping into them, Staring at the water before charging in and continuously running in and out with the tide… It was like watching a kid having the time of his life… You used to be pretty fucking funny to watch.”

“You were just as entertaining when you were Eric, it’s why I wanted you to die last, why I wanted to see what the world you lived in was like…  And why I stabbed the boss in the back when the pieces fell in place… After that, handing everything I had left to you when things didn’t work out was easy.  After all, I was never going to be able to have days on the beach like we did back then with how I was. The closest I could get was latching on to you and making sure you survived…”

“Then why did you make me rip out my eye??”

“I’d built it up in my head that you were supposed to be different… that you’d never fall under my control like everyone else… Then you fucked it all up and spewed out all your secrets and begged for my attention like everyone else..  I was angry, disappointed and most of all crushed that you were a failure.”

“Bullshit.”

“Maybe. But taking something important to you and hoping it woke you up was the only thing I could think of. You're lucky I didn’t ask for your dick all things considered. And it did end up working so everything worked out in the end.”

I opened my eye and was about to curse him out but was stunned by what I saw.  The red lands were gone… replaced by a beach and clear waters.  

“So it really is tied to my memories.”

“You’ve got the pieces now, it’s a shame I got a little too nostalgic there. I might have given a few too many hints away.”

“...”

I couldn’t help but look at him, he sounded disappointed in himself but had a satisfied grin on his face.

“...Thanks…”

A small chuckle escaped from Ken's mouth.

“Piss off, and go drown yourself in that water you smell like shit.”

He left with a smile, lazily saluting me with his middle finger for good measure before disappearing... 

Kenneth was confusing to his core… I had more reasons that I could count to hate him, but just as many reasons to think he’s a friend who’s on my side more than anyone else ever could be… 

He was right about me smelling more than anything though. I was going to be staying in that water for a very long time. At this point I think I’ve earned that much.

[never-not-ever]

Tomorrows my first Monday without appointments. Last Monday was my last session with therapist and my caseworker is still out on medical leave I think? I don't see my (new) therapist until Thursday and I think I may skip group this week.

I got an email this afternoon from the lady I submitted my application to for the IOP program. She cc'd some SW who is "available to begin consultation" so I have to email him tomorrow to start that process. I'm 90% sure I had him as a SW when I was inpatient back in 2014 or 2016 but at my hospitals southern campus. His name sounds so familiar so I'll probably ask him if he was ever a SW there.

My friend who's in the program right now said the admissions process can take up to a month. I'm hoping that's like from the start of the submission of the application which was a week ago tomorrow. Also I guess it can vary so I guess it doesn't really matter.

I finally talked to my Aunt yesterday on the phone for the first time in months. I mentioned me wanting to come down for a visit before I start (hopefully) this program. My plan is to fly to NC and visit/stay with my friend for the weekend then drive up to WV and stay with my Aunt and Uncle for a week. I'm so glad I finally heard back from the IOP program and am going to start the consultation process so that I can get an idea of how long it'll be and maybe get a potential start date/mention how I want to visit family the week before I start the program.

I'm getting so annoyed with this weather. Of course when I'm finally emerging from isolation and wanting to feel the sun and be outside it's gotta be cloudy and rainy. My SH urges have been manageable for the sake of me enjoying wearing tank tops and short sleeves and not wanting to have to wear long sleeves anytime I go out. Granted this weather is not helping cause it's like well you're always freezing when you go out lately anyways. But I think the weather should be changing soon. Besides a small blip in a drunken haze last weekend at the Pride event, I haven't done anything in over a month. The urges are getting more intense and I keep thinking well just do it somewhere else and I'm worried one of these days I'm going to give in to it.

I'm anxious about starting this consultation process cause I'm worried they might think I'm not ready or a good candidate because of the medication stuff and the "weight loss" stuff. The medication stuff is so strange to me because my SI is the lowest it's been in a long time yet I'm stockpiling meds "just in case". Part of me is also a little like "how are you guys not on the same page/catching on" which I hate to admit this because I feel like it makes me seem manipulative but like my therapist knew I wasn't taking meds consistently and would constantly start and stop them. Then after my November inpatient stay when I had to give up my stockpile to my grandmother the day I discharged and it was known to my outpatient team that I was stockpiling, they sort of became aware of the situation. Like a couple months ago when I was taking meds I was having a conversation with my caseworker about how things are different now, like when I give my weekly med case to the nurse to fill there's still PRN's left over from the week and that I'm not handing them an empty box and for the past month now I've handed them empty boxes and...

The weight loss stuff, I was talking to my friend from NC about it and she thinks I really need to talk more about it with my therapist. It's difficult obviously, but we'll see about this week. When I think about all the behaviors I've either struggled with in the past (SH) or are currently struggling with, it's this "stuff" that I don't really want to stop. Maybe there's a middle ground and I could think of the potential of "lessen" and just "maintain", which to be honest feels like this weekend was right down that alley and my brain is just like see, you're fine!! it's not that bad, you were out of control which in this case is "better" (in their eyes) than being too controlling.

It's all such a huge mindfuck. Part of me wants to ask about meeting with my new therapist twice a week to speed up the "catch up" process cause I feel like it's agonizingly slow but then I'm like that's just going to cause the attachment to get stronger quicker just in time to stop work with her when the IOP program starts- which 1) she did say we'd still do weekly phone catch ups and 2) WATCH IT NOT EVEN HAPPEN lmao. Then I'll really be screwed.

This is me hushing my brain that is trying to tempt me with sabotage cause "it's just going to get messed up or not happen anyways" and go make another vegetarian bao bun that I just tried and loved because it reminds me of a meat version I used to always get at Target before and here we goooooo prime example of this weekend and being out. of. control.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Broken Wings - Part Two

What's this? A second chapter one year after the first? More fic writing from me in the same week? Idk guys, I'm just riding the motivation wave as far as it'll take me...

Thrawn x pilot!reader | 2.5k words

Content warnings: Cursing, only a little Thrawn/reader interaction (slow burn anyone?), also I gave the reader tattoos for funsies

< Previous Part | Masterlist | Next Part >

Hangar 12 was massive. Not even the largest rebel hideout could equal this space you found yourself in. TIE fighters hung from their docks in the ceiling while larger transport ships were lined neatly along the slick floors. And there was still plenty of room to spare. Room to reconfigure the ships in a thousand different formations and never run the risk of them crashing into each other.

Thus, the set up of a little podium and rows of chairs in the middle of the hangar was comical. It looked like furniture for a dollhouse. The pilots milling around the chairs seemed tiny, too, the details of their faces and flight suits barely remarkable when compared to the expanse of metal and space surrounding them.

You stood by one of the entrances to the hangar, having just emerged from a hallway into the location you were instructed to be in this fine morning. Well, a biological morning, anyway. Here there were no suns, no atmospheric skies with clouds or stars, no indications of whether you should be awake or at rest. Here, time did not exist. The viewport at the end of the hangar boasted of a vast outer space, likely deep within the Empire's control, far from the places you were used to. And yet, it still stirred that itch within you, the desire to go into it. To explore. To fly.

"Oh good, you've made it."

A flash of blue and white appeared in your periphery. You quickly closed your eyes, as if by not seeing him, he couldn't see you in return. You'd been dreading this moment, but your damned curiosity compelled you to show up anyway.

"I will introduce you to your squadron," Thrawn spoke to you anyway, not commenting on your lame attempt to hide from the situation. "They are among the Empire's best pilots, though still not close to your level of expertise. For now you will set the standards for their training, help them understand what is required. But I expect to see intensive training within the cockpit soon."

There was a pause before he spoke again, one simple, inquiring word. "Captain?"

You opened your eyes. Everything from before was still there: the ships, the tiny pilots, the viewport into darkness. But now added to the view was the imposing form of the Grand Admiral, looking down at you with those piercing red eyes, waiting for you to agree to being on board.

"I didn't realize titles transferred across war lines," you said in response.

Thrawn did not seem phased by the venom you put behind your words. Or perhaps you hadn't put in enough for him detect. You weren't exactly in pique form at the moment, your body still feeling like it'd been wrung through a trash compactor a few times. The rest and rehab you'd received the day before was far from rejuvenating your fighting spirit.

"The goal is to have you become Flight Commander for the squadron. But we'll retain your title of Captain for now, until you prove yourself. Even if it creates more paperwork for my staff."

He nodded slightly behind you and you turned to find a few officers standing nearby.

"This is Officer Amara Tilde, the fleet's logistics liaison. And Sergeant Lou Mam, from the Chimaera's tactical division. They'll be overseeing the training and provide assistance where needed."

While you were arguing against the small voice in your head that sounded strangely like your mother's, telling you to be polite and smile or nod at the two in acknowledgement, Thrawn continued.

"But for all intents and purposes, the squadron will report to you. As their leader."

"Like it or not," you heard Sergeant Mam mutter under his breath.

If Thrawn also heard, he ignored it, instead turning to indicate he was ready to proceed with this grand plan of his. "If you are ready, Captain, we'll begin."

"And if I'm not ready?" you couldn't help but ask.

One corner of Thrawn's mouth twitched upward. "Then you'll have roughly a hundred meters to gear yourself up, Captain."

And with that, he set off, striding confidently into that dark and massive hangar, his staff members falling in to flank him on either side. You found your feet guiding you to follow along, making you ponder with each step what you were doing here and how you could possibly get free.

"At attention!" called out Sergeant Mam as they approached the group of pilots.

There was a rustle of boots, with a small squeak or two, as the pilots hurried into proper standing positions in front of their chairs. Thrawn and his two officers strode past them toward the podium, but you chose to hang back just behind, out of view. For one, you were still in denial and any little thing you could do to delay the inevitable, be it closing your eyes or pausing in your steps, you would shamelessly do. But for another, that short trek from the door to the middle of the hangar already had you beat. Your body had not fully healed from your crash just a few days ago, and what little rehab you'd done so far to gain mobility back did not prepare you even for a walk. Your body felt flushed, heated, and you were pathetically out of breath.

"At ease," the Sergeant stated as he took his place behind the podium. Thrawn and the other officer stood off to the side, the former giving you a questioning look that you didn't know how to answer from this distance.

The pilots relaxed into their chairs at the command.

"As you all know, you have been selected as the top graduates from the Academy to serve in this special training unit aboard the ISD Chimaera...."

As the Sergeant spoke, you couldn't help but unzip the top of your flight suit and shake at the fabric a bit, trying to get a breeze onto your sweating skin.

"Training?" one of the pilots interrupted, apparently interpreting the at ease command a little too loosely. "We were told Special Forces Unit."

"Indeed, you will become a force to be reckoned with. But first we must train you to get there."

There were grumbles and whispers but you weren't focusing too much on the scene. You still felt too hot. Confined. Trapped. Screw it, you thought, and pulled the zipper all the way down and shimmied out of the sleeves. The top of your suit now hung at your waist, leaving your top half in only a black tank top. Your tattoos would be showing now, as well as the many bruises and barely-scarred wounds you'd recently sustained. Even amongst the rebel forces you'd be considered indecent. But at least you now felt just a little freer.

"With all due respect, sir," another pilot spoke up, "we already received our training, at the Academy."

"Yeah," a third chimed in. "We're enlisted soldiers now. Not cadets."

"And not only that, we're the best," said another. "You said it yourself. Top of our class. What else could we possibly have to learn?"

You couldn't see their faces but you could hear their smirks. Oh, these were cocky SOBs. Something stirred in you at their behavior, very similar to the feeling you got whenever you looked up at the sky or out the viewport into space. In fact, one could argue the two feelings often went hand-in-hand. You had an insatiable desire to fly, yes, but also to prove others wrong. These smug pilots, fresh from the Academy, with their clean suits and fresh haircuts, thought they were on top of the world. But they didn't know what it was like to be in an active war zone. To feel pressure in the cockpit. To be faced with impossible decisions. They had a lot left to learn.

Thrawn chose this moment to step forward, and the murmuring of the crowd quieted down.

"The Academy has prepared you well enough," Thrawn addressed them with that quiet confidence you'd already grown used to. "But we can no longer afford to settle for only enough. The Rebels are growing in their strength and number, and most importantly, in their skill. Do you know who the best fighter pilot is at the moment?"

There was a silence as the pilots looked around to each other. One happened to catch you from the corner of his eye. He frowned in confusion at your presence before turning back around.

"A Captain in the Rebel forces," Thrawn answered his own question, following it up with your name. There was murmuring as some seemed to recognize the name. You weren't sure if you should feel flattered that your reputation preceded you.

"Can any of you confidently say you are better than her?" Thrawn threw out another question but this time didn't wait for a potential response. "No. You are not the best. But, you can be trained by the best. And then there may be hope for the Empire yet."

The pilot who'd noticed you before swung back around to look at you, starting to piece two and two together. You figured this was about as good a time as any to finally push yourself forward.

The whispers returned as you came into view, shuffling amongst seats to get a better look at your disheveled appearance. Or perhaps just your presence in and of itself. They were in as much disbelief as you were over the situation.

One pilot was a little slower than the others and called out, "Who the hell is this?"

Thrawn cooly responded, "The best," before stepping back to give you room.

You took in a deep breath, mostly to get your panting under control, and a little to calm the nerves. You were surrounded by enemies, you reminded yourself. These pilots meant nothing to you. You had nothing to prove to them.

And yet, the itching inside continued.

"Is this a joke?" You recognized the voice as the first pilot who had spoken up. He was a handsome guy, round face and clear skin. His smirk was as mischievous as you'd pictured it earlier.

"I wish it were," you said, hating how your voice betrayed your physical exhaustion.

The pilot didn't seem to know how to respond to that, so the one sitting next to him spoke up instead.

"So you're telling me this Rebel twat knows more about flying than we do?" She seemed to be questioning one of the officers or Thrawn himself, but her eyes were fixed on you.

"There's no need to be vulgar, Heva," the one who'd noticed you earlier spoke up, albeit in a soft tone. "She is the best..."

"For a Rebel," Heva scoffed, settling back in her seat with arms crossed. "Which isn't saying much, now, is it?"

You desperately wanted to scratch the itch, to put these MF-ers in their place, but you'd need to pace yourself. Battles weren't won in a day, as you unfortunately knew firsthand.

"Test me," you said, straightening up a little.

This earned you a mix of snorts and incredulous smirks.

"Alright," Heva sniffed. "How do you reprogram a misaligned targeting system mid-flight? Smoke is coming from the underside of a TIE starfighter cockpit, what has been damaged? Do you use concussion missiles or proton torpedoes against a particle shield?"

You noted her questions were specific to Imperial tech, things you would likely not know about. But even if you did, they were hardly the most important things to be quizzed on, so you didn't feel particularly demeaned like she probably hoped.

You hummed. "I confess, I don't know."

Heva wore a self-satisfied grin while a few snickered around her.

"Now let me ask you something," you continued, not letting them enjoy their petty victory for long. "You're flanked between two enemy crafts and no wiggle room on either side. Ahead is a building, or some other obstacle, where impact would be fatal. What do you do?"

Some of the pilots seemed to be considering the question while others, like Heva and the pretty boy next to her, were more reluctant to play along.

"How far away?" asked the soft-spoken one.

You looked out across the hangar. "Let's say... from here to the viewport. A hundred meters?"

"Wait them out" said the pretty pilot, and it was then you noticed he had some chewing gum in his mouth, further accentuating his blasé attitude. "The enemy craft won't risk a collision either. As soon as they peel off, you follow."

"They're Rebels," you pointed out. "Some of the crazier ones. Flyers who know how to bank last minute and won't let you breathe for an inch. You can wait to bank with them, but if you're even a hair's length out of sync, you'll collide."

"Pull up sooner," someone shouted out.

"Collision," you asserted. "They're flanking, not mirroring. You won't fall far enough back before they do, too."

"Alright then, Best Pilot in the Galaxy," sneered Heva. "What do you do? Or are you trying to use a trick question to make yourself sound smarter?"

You took in a measured breath to maintain your composure. "You drop. Kill the engine, drop a few meters, fire it back up in time to bank."

There were even more scoffs and snorts than before.

"That's not... you can't..." the soft-spoken pilot's face was screwed up in deep thought, trying to make sense of your outlandish idea. "I mean, the physics of it alone... How could you even calculate the timing of it?"

"A situation like that, there's no calculating," you agreed. "There's no recalling a classroom lesson or reciting a manual. There's only feeling."

You hadn't exactly held their respect before, but now you'd really lost them. You were preaching about feelings, to a crowd who didn't think they needed to be taught anything in the first place. The looks on their faces, the not-so-polite words they were sputtering at a not-so-subtle volume, were proof they found you ridiculous.

You risked a glance back at Thrawn, whose expression was deadpan and gave away nothing of how he perceived this whole exchange. Not that you needed his approval. But he'd staked a lot in this plan of having a captured Rebel pilot teach an Imperial squadron; you were nervous about the consequences of failing him.

Your gaze shifted from his apathetic eyes to a starship just behind him. A TIE Interceptor by the looks of it. There wasn't much you envied about the Empire, save for this one vessel. The itching intensified; you were practically chomping at the bit now that the idea popped into your mind. A way to kill two birds with one stone.

You steeled yourself with another breath and turned back to face your disgruntled audience.

"...it's just not possible," someone was saying.

"It is possible." You raised your voice to be heard over their ruckus. Whatever fatigue your body had been suffering was now muted as adrenaline began to ramp up inside you. "I've done it before."

This hushed them up a bit, though skepticism was still written across their features. You couldn't help but grin in response.

"Would you like me to do it again?"

~ ~ ~

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[rolloollor]

What are you thoughts on Mallerollo doing somnophilia, consesually of course?

A continuation of this ask? Or maybe the collective unconscious yearns for somnophilia

There are a few ways to go about it. I'll put it under a cut since it's extra lewd

First, I personally prefer it to be nonconsensual so if I do write it, it'll be noncon 100%. Or it'll be pretend somnophilia, which I'll explain when we get to it

If Rollo's asleep

I see this going in three main ways. Simplest, Malleus uses magic to send Rollo to sleep and fucks him. While, again, I do think Rollo would be down, I just don't see Malleus as someone who would enjoy this if Rollo is legit not able to respond. He could get hard and moan of course, but I think Malleus likes the back and forth, the lust in Rollo's eyes, all of that

Second, wake up sex. Rollo would pretend to hate it, but absolutely love being woken up with dick. I like to think that Rollo would be in the middle of some inane dream (something like he's talking to a professor/Trein), it would shift to him suddenly getting fucked, and then he'd wake up with Malleus on top of him

My personal favorite is the pretend somnophilia. Some kind of situation where Malleus maybe teases Rollo about enjoying sex so much, he denies it, then Malleus suggests Rollo pretends to be asleep during sex ("Be as still and unmoved as a gargoyle") and if he doesn't make any noise or any indication that he's turned on, Malleus will believe him. The idea of Malleus railing Rollo while he tries and fails to act like it's not having an impact on him is good and I like it

If Malleus is asleep

The problem for this one is keeping him asleep. Can Malleus cast the spell on himself? Would a potion work? I figure he has a lot of magic resistance, right. Is there a substance that'll put him to sleep? The game hasn't said anything about the cold making him more sluggish or anything

Let's say we handwave that. Rollo, with his intense drive to get things done, finds an herb that makes dragons snooze the day away. Well... Rollo's a giga pervert so he'd have a great time

I could see Rollo riding him, fucking his mouth (or thighs, maybe even his armpits, legit the sky's the limit), sniffing his hair with abandon... Oh and he'd definitely, like, cum on him. His face and hair in particular. He could be as creepy and degenerate as his heart desires. Malleus would eventually wake up and inform him that he saw everything he did due to astral projection magic or something and that he's learned a lot about Rollo by doing this. Rollo is mortified

The way I see it unfolding... aka noncon time, people who don't enjoy noncon look away

It may not be obvious from what I write for mallerollo, but I'm a noncon enjoyer. It depends on the characters and scenarios for me, though, and I don't see Malleus as much of a noncon kinda guy..... in normal circumstances. Rollo, though, he could do it. He's got them latent Frollo tendencies. But it's pretty hard to noncon someone like Malleus, so

If you've read my bonus bad end at the end of From the Ashes (which I did consider continuing into, well, I guess you could call it "dark romance" territory), you might remember Malleus hinting that he could have fucked Rollo while he was sleeping, meaning he's considered it. Or... that he's done it before and was lying that he hadn't. That version of Malleus would have no problem fucking Rollo while he was asleep and, on top of that, he'd probably send part of himself into Rollo's dream to fuck him there, too, but in a pseudo lovey-dovey way. By doing that, Rollo's sleeping body would react more strongly to his 'attentions' and Malleus could delude himself into thinking it's consensual

If people want either this noncon version or the pretend somnophilia one written, let me know. I do like both of these ideas and, if there's a demand, I'm more likely to write it

[violetjedisylveon]

Ahsoka Series, But Kaeden Is There, And She's Super Cryptic This Time

Spoilers for Ahsoka Episode 5

Hera, seeing Kaeden chilling in the middle of a weird rock formation chilling on her phone with the space birb Sabine drew on her armor once: What happened? What's going on? Where's Ahsoka? And where's Sabine?!

Kaeden, not even looking up: Jedi Force bullshit stuff happened, it'll all make sense in a bit.

Hera: Do you... Know what happened?

Kaeden: yeah but I'd rather explain it once and I don't know all the details.

Jacen: can I pet the bird?

...

Jacen: I hear someone fighting in the ocean! Maybe Ahsoka's out there!

Kaeden, still chilling: damn, sounds like a pretty intense therapy session.

Jacen: ???

...

*Hera ordering extra searches once Jacen tells her the stuff*

Carlson: what?

Kaeden: Jacen's a little Jedi, his dad was a Jedi too, just go with it.

...

*Ahsoka wakes up and sees Kaeden reading a book with two piles of books next to her*

Ahsoka, sighing: how many books have you read?

Kaeden: Four.

Ahsoka, flopping back down onto her bed: a whole twenty-four hours and I'm still exhausted.

Kaeden, smirking: Guess that's what you get when you avoid therapy or any kind of emotional healing for twenty something years.

Ahsoka: oh shut up

*then they kiss cause they love each other*

...

*Kaeden, explaining the situation*

Kaeden: okay, while Ahsoka was off getting some therapy and emotional healing slammed into her by the Force itself, Baylan manipulated Sabien into giving him the map and they got the coordinates and they took Sabine with them. I think she is coming back with a Jedi girlfriend.

Jacen, very excited: I get a new aunt?!

Kaeden: Yes, I like your attitude about this.

...

*Shin sees Sabine's sketch book open*

Shin: Why are you drawing me so much?

Sabine: 😳

...

*Ahsoka the white happens*

Kaeden: damn, you look good~😏

Ahsoka: not in front of Jacen, Kae😉

...

Carlson to New Republic people, reading from notes Kaeden gave him: so they are going to ride the purgil and find out what the Imperial remnants are up to out there, and Kaeden Larte says "Fuck the whole Senate except for Organa and kinda Mon Mothma but not entirely, get a better hold on your senate, the Empire isn't dead idiots"

NR Fleet: ...

*Ahsoka goes out to talk with the purgil*

Kaeden, to Morai: told you it'd be the whales, you owe me fifty credits

Morai: *annoyed divine birb sounds*

Bonus, Omega(from bad batch) x Miara Larte!:

Miara: I haven't heard from Kaeden in a while, you think she's okay?

Omega, doing some space magic practice: Probably? I can check real quick.

*does space magic*

Omega: Mia honey, your sister's in a purgil.

Miara, sighing: do we gotta get involved?

Omega: maybe? I kinda wanna ride a space whale.

Miara: alright let's go, I was getting a little bored anyway.

*Omega and Miara suit up in Mandalorian armor and call up a space whale with nightsister magic to take them to where the action is*

That's it. I enjoy a good cryptic slightly chaotic Kaeden, being married to Ahsoka comes with that.

Also Nightsister Omega is one of my favorite things so I shoved it in here.

Be back Wednesday for part 4!