myhatisblue

[myhatisblue]

Damn part 20.

There are moments were I kinda sit back and process just what the fuck had happened to my life.  Errr… guess life isn’t accurate right now, given that’s a pretty loaded issue at the moment… I’m dead after all, at least for the time being,  and Jesus if I wasn’t keeping myself busy this place is enough to drive a person mad. Everything I’ve been doing or working on has been purely because I need it done. Without that? Existence would be a never ending nightmare of absolute boredom…  I bet it might even be bad enough that jumping down into the claws and teeth waiting below would become real tempting. 

Occasionally you see outlines of human shaped forms, too far away to appear as anything more than shadows. Wandering mindlessly, only to eventually be chased and consumed by something large and animalistic… Occasionally the beasts fall, as to who or what causes it I can’t exactly say. It seems almost like something passes through them for only a brief moment, before they collapse to the ground. It only started happening recently… can’t help but wonder what's behind it, and if it’ll be a pain in my ass later or not…

I was getting distracted… An issue only growing lately as Ken has been practically breathing down my neck. The work learning how the fuck kidney stones formed wasn’t easy to look away from.  I really only stopped to take a break when my eyes hurt too much. Leaving Ken painfully bored and struggling to find a way to pass the time.  It was becoming a challenge to keep ignoring him, one he was sure as hell only making worse by bringing up random bullshit and wanting to talk...

He was like a storm I needed to block out of my mind. Focus on this and only this….

“My brain is going to rot in my skull if you keep this up.”

“Fuck off… and this was your idea so I don’t wanna hear shit from you.”

“Yeah I just kinda gave you too much credit.  Figured it’d take like a day max, instead I’ve been alone jerking myself off while you stare at your own meat.”

Thought about commenting on how a day is a loose concept, and how technically none have passed, but Jesus that second part was a train wreck demanding a responce…

“Jerking yourself off?  Dude, you’ve basically just been walking in circles.”

“You got what I was getting at.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m practically starting from zero here, like I can work out how shit moves just from seeing the parts and how they fit together.  But fucking it up in a whole different story.  The best I can do is take stabs in the dark till I break things the right way. I can’t really rush the process.”

“Then let me rip out a few more organs, that way you’ll be able to work on like 6 at a time.”

“...When you’re dying of thirst what fucking good is a guy offering you chips?”

“Where the hell did that come from?”

“You’re offering a solution that’s not even remotely an answer to my problem. I need to know how changes happened to replicate it. Dividing my attention is just going to muddy the process up.”

He let out an exasperated groan like I was the one annoying him.

“God why couldn’t you have been normal and just watched medical dramas like everyone else.”

“....??? Is that why you know about niche medical shit?”

“It was always on the television. How the hell did you miss it?!”

“I haven’t had cable for almost a decade, and I sure as hell didn’t go out of my way to watch gross.

“Arrrgh! No you just watch loser shit.”

“… Ken what’s with you you never got this stir crazy before, and there were long periods of time where I wasn’t doing shit.”

“I had shit going on then, now I don’t”

“What shit?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“That’s why I asked..? Is this about the shit with Lucy, the whole you still have a connection thing?”

“I’m just going to say who knows, so just shut up now.  I’ve got shit to do.”

He said that but he just walked off and laid down near the edge of the cliff… God he acts like a stupid kid sometimes… Not being able to disappear like he used to really makes it more obvious… Urgh… Well I bought myself some time alone, though I have no idea where the hell I left off.  

Trying to catch back up really just made me realize that having my own organs sitting on the ground next to me in their original form was a surreal experience.  Up till this point everything I’d made, came in pristine condition, what I wanted now meant breaking them entirely. I would have never known how the hell to approach this, but I had a single blessing that at the time felt like anything but. I’d already known what a broken kidney felt like, and Sneckdraw was a textbook example of all the fucked up things that could happen to a body. 

Even though I fixed that random guard It’s not like I was diving into what the hell was wrong with them. I just wanted them to shut the hell up…  Dunno if their problem was even related to my stupid goal of creating stones, but I’ve got time on my side.  And once I break it one way I just need to keep pushing in other directions till I find the right mess.

And push it I did, destroying organ after organ,  screwing up so many times thats recreating its original form perfectly was as simple as blinking… God if there was one thing I’d learn it was that when I’m outta here I need to pick up some books on human biology. Strange growths, swelling, dying tissue, and bursting veins. All different reactions to changes I made, and all just nameless piles of carnage and a distinct feeling each sickness left me with.  Maybe later when I have more knowledge to work I might find a use for it all. For now though it was just disgust that needed to be pushed to the back of my mind. 

This all would have been so much easier to deal with if I could stop fighting with Ken for a little while… But it became real obvious that he would have gone completely fucking nuts if I left him high and dry all the entire time.  It was really the only thing he had to look forward to since he showed 0 interest in helping me. That alone probably doubled how long I need to spend with my eyes focused on hunks of meat.

Eventually after painstakingly working I struck gold. A small pebble, my hands shook as I held it in my hand, it seemed so insignificant there… Yet this shit was worth more than gold to me. I knew how I did it, and more importantly how it felt to make it. It could be spread, not just to make a single weapon but to strengthen every piece of bone I constructed going forward. It wasn’t a quick process yet but the sky felt like the fucking limit

I could finally shift my focus to studying the other organs Ken had removed. They didn’t really offer much besides growing a wider understanding of how everything worked and fit together. Maybe worthwhile shit if I want to ruin people from the inside out, but not so much in a land of the dead. 

What it did end up being used for was materials for the club I planned on putting together.  On top of the random organs I had two arms, one that belonged to me, and the sliced up one Ken unwillingly donated. All of it had just kinda been left in a pile on the ground never rotting or disappearing, just frozen in the exact state they were removed in. Made it obvious that if something got a hold of any part of me it was gonna be a problem. Could likely track me, or maybe eat it to get stronger… I don’t fucking know. It was just something I needed to remember, there’s just too much of a risk of it being used for magical bullshit and I rather not play that game. Everything removed either had to be turned to blood so it disappeared, or added on to my project.

The process was going to slow though, yeah I’d added stone into the shape I can alter flesh into, but that didn’t mean that it was like working with cement in the flesh lands. I wasn’t just pinning a memory onto a place to fit my vision.  Every piece of material I had needed to be broken down, restructured. While I’d learned how it works, the effort required to actually put it into action was still intense.  With time and practice sure it’ll be as natural as working with bone or meat, but for now like everything else is demanded focus.  Focus that Ken had made sure was already in limited supply, so that damn skeleton showing up again sure as hell wasn’t helping. Yet regardless of what I wanted he flew in like he owned the place.

“Gentlemen, it’s nice to see you’re still of sound mind.”

Ken stepped up to ‘greet’ them. Though I can’t be sure if it was to let me work or because he just didn’t like this guy. I’d lean towards the second.

“If it isn’t the Bonehead, what do you want?”

“We are interested in you, both of you to be precise. You have lingered far longer than the other blessed.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t been watching. I’ve seen that cloth of yours floating around.”

Huh? When did that happen? I know I was distracted but how the hell did I miss that…?

“One must gather knowledge, if they are to offer guidance to those who need it.” 

“Right… Sure that’s what it was, and not looking for ways to fuck us.”

“...? We do not understand.”

The way it titled its head was almost child-like… 

“Screw off with that, I bet you’re feeding whatever commands the assholes down there information on us.”

“Sir… Are you aware with whom you have struck a deal?”

“Why even ask? You already know the answer.”

“Then you would be well aware what happens to those who cross her. We told you already that we wish to remain on good terms with her. Such actions that betray that desire and would bring us only misfortune. Nothing that could be offered by those invaders would ever cover the costs.”

“Then why are you stalking us?!”

“We already answered that question.”

“As if this is so goddamn important.”

“...You severely lack self awareness. This is the land of the dead, those souls still free of infection hide within the cracks of the evermoving cliffs. Their need for guidance fades as every moment passes. Most are lost to the looming shadow of the void, others lose all sense of self and find themselves becoming a part of those very cliffs. A rare few are capable enough to wander the wastelands and seek a path forward despite all options being spent.

It is one in the last category that finds information of you two interesting. Most of your kind are here and then gone long before word can spread. Even now they wait near the base of this cliff for the day you descend.”

Huh… I wonder if that’s related to why some of the beast down there just seemed to stop moving… Seemed like bad goddamn new-

“Then bring them up here.”

“The fuck Ken?”

He ignored me, attention still locked on the fae in front of him.

“You can do that right? It’s just a soul after all, or are you too worthless to do even that.”

“What a strange request for someone so paranoid.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I can, if that is what they desire as well.”

I interrupted.

“If you can bring them here can’t you fly us to the tower then too?”

“No, this is possible only because they are so close.”

“Could never be that easy… Still someone needed to ask… then could you at least bring us down the cliff when the time comes?”

“That is within my capabilities.”

“Aw Mills but I thought you loved jumping off buildings.”

“This isn’t a building is it?”

I wasn’t even trying to hide the sarcasm of that one. Ken snickered for a moment before his attention locked back on the fae.

“Now go get whoever it is that is so interested in knowing us.”

“As you wish…”

With that it took to the skies… Gone as quickly as it had appeared.

“So Ken, what hell’s the plan here?”

“I’m tired of only seeing your ugly mug.”

“Yeah, yeah fuck you. Can you get to the real answer?”

“If there’s someone strong down there and we can deal with them now, may as well use the advantage we’ve got.”

“...Seems off from you though… Wait… Is this cause I’m too busy to fight you all the time now?”

“Why would that matter?”

He was avoiding looking at me, as if staring off the cliff would hide that.  This asshole knew this was a bad idea, but why was he… It hit me like a truck, something so stupid but undeniably fitting...

“...Jesus christ you’re really that goddamn bored…?! You’re really taking a stupid risk all cause of that?”

“If they’re any good, it’ll be a little bit of spice to add to the daily grind. If they aren’t we push 'em off the edge and get back to what we were doing.”

“God when the hell did you get so obsessed with fighting? You weren’t like this before I died.”

“What the hell else is there to do here? Plus I never knew what it felt like before, but each loss and win is a small part of a bigger picture. Every mistake made, and answer found leads to adjustments and steps towards that illusive masterwork.

It’s a fucking ride to see what you’ll do next, and work on countering it. All so I can see you beaten and bloody thanks to my own hands. While you stare up with that wild eye thinking of just as many plans as I do.” 

That felt… crazier than normal, he’s always been weird yeah but this was somehow feeling more obsessive? The grin on his face sure hadn’t helped…

“Right… But it’s not like this is going to take me as long as the stone thing, a few metaphorical days at most.”

“A few days where you actually need to pay attention to that, and I have to sit here with my thumb up my ass doing jack shit.”

“Dude, the just what the fuck are you going to do when I’m alive again?”

“I’ve got more than enough to keep me busy out there.” 

“You gonna get around to saying what that is yet?”

“Mmmm…. Who knows?”

“That fucking wall again, you do it to screw with me don’t you?”

“Maybe, who knows?”

God now he’s just fucking repeating it with that stupid grin on his face. Whatever I have better shit to worry about…

My weapon was progressing well, The two forearm bones of my arm were playing as my starting point for everything. I’d combined them and made it the relative size I needed it to be, and reinforced the core of it with what I’d learnt. It lost some flexibility, and gained some heft but stayed whole after multiple attempts to break it. It might have been fine to just stop there but given what’s coming, something with more bite is needed.

The next step started by converting the material I had into long strands of tendons. Largely for ease of movement, and because it had become one of the easier types of flesh to form thanks to the use I’d been making of it in combat. It did look pretty fucked up on the ground next to me like a pile of pasta from hell… 

Slowly but surely I threaded the tendons along the length of the club. The bone easily shifting to make room for the tiny dives into it each bit of meat made. The bits of red sticking out would eventually be used to form spikes of stone before the process is repeated again and again till every inch was covered in jagged edges. It was complicated and annoying, but made more sense to me than just extending out from the center.  This way I could retract the points and rebuild them as needed without risking the stability of the core. Plus with smaller areas to work with, they should be quicker to manage, and the shit wound into the bone could be hardened for further support…  Dunno if it’ll work like that in practice, but it’s where I landed after running the plans through my head over and over.

The rest will just be going through the motions, while waiting for a guest that was taking longer than expected. Well that part was Ken’s problem anyways, and he was off doing laps around the platform.  He’s done it before, and generally it’s cause he’s figured out or was working on figuring out some way to move faster.  So most of the time his legs are split apart and altered to be largely muscle and parts to make that shit work in strange ways. 

I’d managed to get about a quarter way up the club when that strange black cloth flew back down. Before the skeleton reformed a man walked out of the black abyss. He was tall, had a metal helmet on with dark messy hair peaking out from under it. Part of his face was hidden behind a tattered cloak, but what I could see of it made his gray skin stand out.  On his back was an old looking rifle. While the rest of his outfit screamed military but not the modern kind… It was like something you’d see in the history books that talk about the great wars… He’d almost seem completely human if it wasn’t for the skin and his pupilless glowing blue eyes.

He didn’t speak right away but I think he looked at me given how he seemed to flinch ever so slightly at the sight of something. Likely thanks to the pile of meat spaghetti I was wrapping around an almost comically sized bone. Could imagine how strange that must seem, even to a dead man. Kenneth on the other hand was still doing fucking laps. So given our guest was closely observing everything with no signs of speaking and Ken was deciding to be a dick it seemed like my work was being put on hold. Ugh, he wanted them to come up here but now he’s doing this?

“Hey.”

Start it slow, by now the skeleton fae had reformed and for some reason decided to sit down next to me. The guest nodded at me and responded.

“You must be the King… I expected more insects…”

I couldn’t stop my face from contorting into a look that mixed embarrassment, dread, and irritation all at once. Off in the distance Ken was fucking losing it, having stopped and just started laughing his ass off.

“God please don’t call me that again… I just said one stupid thing in private. Now everyone wants to call me that.”

The fae piped up painfully enthusiastically… 

“Sir, that title is engraved in your soul. It screams it long before you are met. It is a very rare-”

“Yeah, yeah…. It wasn’t my fucking choice. I don’t even like bugs, or have powers related to them, so it doesn’t even make sense.”

The guest just nodded, I doubt he actually understood but didn’t seem to want to linger on the topic. Ken was taking his sweet ass time heading over so I got on inducing us.

“I’m Mills, and the asshole over there is Kenneth. The Skele boy over there said you were interested in information on us…”

“Pleased to meet you… Others have called me Grit.”

God that is such a goddamn stupid name…

“Obviously not a real name I see…”

“Is Mills?”

“Partly.”

“It is your first time in the grave, I gather…  Names die when the body does, so the true dead won’t remember them.”

“Huh.. Do you remember anything from your time living?”

“Only memories or nightmares that pack enough of a wallop.”

I nodded then Ken butted in with a question I’d kinda been wondering about but didn’t want to open with.

“What’s with the gun?”

“One must be armed and ready for what lurks here.”

“No, I mean like… Do you make your own bullets? And how’d you even find a gun here?”

He stared, almost unsure if Ken was screwing with him, and seriously asking that.

“...That is the Strength of Will, those capable of fighting manifest them. The shape depends on their owner.”

“Bonehead, why the hell didn’t you mention something like that before?”

“You told me to leave before I was given a chance, and it seems as though you have figured it out given what Mr. Mills is currently working on.”

Huh… While this shit is just part of who I am these days, I guess it could be kinda seen as something like that… While it’s not exactly the same as when I was alive due to limitations, it is willing something to take another shape. It didn’t seem like something I ought to corrent them on of course. May as well let them slot it into ideas they're already used to. 

Still the conversation seemed to be waiting on me to say something… May as well take the advantage to change the topic before something stupid comes out of my mouth.

“Ugh… Sorry, since you seem to be sticking around, you got a name or something skeleton?”

“Many call us the grim reaper, though that is highly inaccurate. We prefer Harold.”

“...That’s…  is not one I would have guessed. Would you happen to go by Harry too?”

We do not have hair. Harold is what fits us most, It is a very knowledgeable name is it not?”

“Ugh that's not what I… Ugh if you say so… Then Grit was it?  Let's get back to why exactly did you want to make it worth keeping tabs on us?”

“There’s a beast that needs to be hunted.”

“I don’t see how we play into that unless you are looking to start something.”

“You’re heading towards the tower right?”

“We might.”

“Then you’ll need to pass the evermoving cliffs.”

“They are in the way, yes.”

“Then there are pathways that while not avoiding the onslaught of the corrupted will offer you places to rest and recover.  They rest within the mountain sides and close off when the cliffs shift.”

“...So you’re offering to be a guide, risky for you.  Must mean that what you want hunted is a hell of a threat.”

“It is, but it’ll be a problem you’ll have to face regardless. It’s active around the base of the tower and commands the dead there.”

“I thought they’re mindless beasts.”

“Most are, there is always an exception.”

Ken’s guess that they’d all be mindless beasts seems to be wrong..

“What's your beef with it? This personal or just a problem in the way?”

“The soul that was corrupted to make it was a son of a bitch, and I’ve got some favors to return.”

My gaze shifted over to Ken and he answered himself.

“If you can make good on being a guide, fine. Not like we were planning on bitching out of fights. Assuming of course that you can prove that you won’t just be death weight.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

“Oh? Well why don’t we test that out now then.”

God Ken was already trying to go at it…

“Chill out Ken, we aren’t even sure he’ll heal like we do.”

“Who cares?  It looks like he’s got a normal body, you can have to put him back together after.”

God I can’t answer that without admitting to the shit I can so, I get that Harold was leaking info but it still seems stupid to play this so forward… 

“I get you’ve got a hard on for fighting lately, but how the hell did you land on that being a good idea?  I have to replace what's lost with my own bits, and there’s no way that doesn’t fuck up a soul way more than it would flesh and blood-”

“Can’t say that I appreciate you burying me in the cliffs. If he wants to try and pull off what hundreds of slack jawed beasts couldn’t, let him. Won’t end well.”

Ugh… Of course the dude who goes by fucking Grit would be down for a fight… There wasn’t any point of even trying to stop them.  Ken had that wild smile on his face, and the new guy was hard to gauge. His expression was cold and unflinching even while he readied the old and completely mundane looking rifle. This was going to happen regardless of what I said. Well at the very least fucking Harold next to me seemed to be curious to see how this goes…

As much as I wanted to ignore this stupid show and dance that quickly became impossible. Instead of rushing in, Ken seemed to want to show off. His body ripped apart and began reforming itself as I’d seen countless times before… Flesh stretching and bone sharpening… Only to be pieced by a beam of absolute black and in an instant half of his body was simply gone. Only a single empty cartridge ejected from Grits’ rifle, and it dissolved into dust after hitting the ground. His attention was drawn over to Harold. As he slung his rifle back over his shoulder.

“I thought you said they were a big dea-”

Laughing pieced the air as Ken was already starting to reform himself.

“Hahha… That’s good, that’s real good… A big ol puzzle for me to unwrap and rip apart.”

Girt was staring at the recovery process with a strange fascination, not enough to let his guard down though. At some point Harold got up and went to get a closer look, while he got around to answering what Grit was going to say.

“These gentlemen have been fighting since their arrival. As you can see Mr Grit, that man is rather mad, and is unlikely to stay down for long.”

God while watching Ken get blown to pieces over and over sounds funny as hell… If a winner wasn’t called, he was just going to attack again and again. Fine for Kenneth, not so sure about the Grit guy.

“That counts as you losing this one Ken.”

“Bullshit, he just pulled a cheap ass trick.”

“A wins a win. Beg him for a rematch when you’re back together. Uh everyone else don’t look at him while he’s doing that. Clothes take a few seconds to reform.”  

Attention was drawn to me after that, Grit obviously had questions while Harold for one reason or another kept watching Ken.

“Can you both heal that quickly?”

“Yup, and that idiot was too stupid trying to show off how he changes that he didn’t see the one shot coming. He’ll probably be stuck on trying to kick your ass till he wins.”

“Interresting… but when are you going to show off what you can do?”

“Not any time soon. The shit I’m working on is so tedious that it demands all of my attention. Once it’s done? Sure, though I don’t really know how I’ll be able to counter someone that focuses on ranged attacks. I’m sure I’ll figure it out, it just might take a few attempts to put together a plan.”

“Is there any way to speed up that process?”

“Keep Ken occupied for me. It’d be one less thing for me to think about.”

“Fine, I’ll show him the dirt for a few more rounds.”

I still don’t know what I think about Grit beyond that his name is pretty dumb… There’s a pretty high risk of him metaphorically stabbing us in the back, maybe even actually doing it though it wouldn't accomplish much. The Bonehead also showed their hand when they proved that they can bring people up here.  If they wanted to make a move he had more than ample time to do so… Wonder if they’re actually being honest then… 

There’s no reason to get stupid, Ken was going to keep the other guy busy. If anything it’ll give me time to figure out what his gaps are. Though it’s going to get real loud around here… Guh… I’m just delaying shit, I may as well get to work being shit gets out of hand here.  

Once the club is done and some tests are done… It’ll finally be time to get out of here… I can’t help wondering what that will actually entail… It’s pretty safe to assume that it’ll be a pain in my ass regardless of how it all goes. 

[myhatisblue]

The rough draft of part 20 has been done for a few days but I have only started doing the fixes recently. It's sitting at 12 pages atm, so I'm not dead just being lazy.

[myhatisblue]

I don't know if you meant them to be related but the idea of them going to eat shampoo out of spite is very funny to me.

stoppp!! stopp hyelling!!!! ur scaring her!!!!!!!!! idk what this is, been urrhm..ough..aah...hm uninspired or unmotivated for stuff here, but i always enjoy doodling stupid silly au thingy with Hat's Mills.

Mills belongs 2 @/myhatisblue

[myhatisblue]

I mean it'd be better than how he died the first time.

The answer is 'no', but... Once again doodle inspired by hat's comments lol..

still on the wiz monster train even tho im only doodlinly like once every other day or so ougghhhh something something Mills (and harris) belong 2 @/myhatisblue

[myhatisblue]

the right I drew as I was writing part 19 to try and figure out how to put what Ken was doing. Left I did later to flesh it out.

[myhatisblue]

19, man this one changed so much since the rough draft.

There was something about that pocket watch that I’d managed to forget… Ken and I were debating on how to proceed. We were still pointlessly trying to time out how often shit moved.  Even if we both knew by that point that it was absolutely random, what the hell else we’re we going to do?. During a brief lull, the silence must have been gotten to Ken so he struck up a conversation like he often does.

“What do you wanna do when you’re alive again.”

“God I’m not even thinking that far ahead… Not even sure if that tower will actually get us out of here.”

He groaned, obviously annoyed that the rhetorical question of his was being shot down by my honest answer.

“Just humor me.”

I thought about a lot of things, wandering around the web to find obscure movies, going for a simple walk, maybe I could learn how to play baseball… Yet I kept going back to how things left off. There’s no doubt that it would have made noise… It’s going to be a fucking mess if I make it back anytime soon, that’s assuming the place hasn’t already blown up. So I guess I had only one real wish...

“Try and not get swept up in more bullshit? Hell for all we know there won’t be anything left by th- 

Oh shit!”

“Eyyy!!! You figure something out about how this place works?!”

“God no, but the watch stopped ticking.”

“What…? It can’t do that! Relics you trade your soul for don’t just break.”

“God I didn’t trade my soul for this, at best it was just the cherry on top.”

“Cherry on top of getting your ass kicked… What kind of idiot makes a deal with the devil and 

still loses their fight.”

“Me apparently… Really though It still hasn’t moved… 

Oh right… I mean to ask, why didn’t you get a watch then if you made a deal with her too?”

“I can’t exactly leave your side, and I’m part of you so what’s the point? 

Did she say anything else about it when she gave it to you?”

“You think I remember that shit?  It was basically years ago for me.”

“Think idiot.”

“She said something about time… and… hmm.. Urghhhhhhh..”

“Come on Gaspar, I didn't get to hear that part!”

“...Thinking of something, did something…? I think…”

“Well I was asking you about home when it happened.”

“Right! Right… I remember, when you think of a place it shows the time there. So if it’s stopped moving…”

A grin stretched across his lips as the signs of a plan started brewing.

“Then we’ve got all the time in the world to fuck around with.”

We sat there starting for a while, longer than felt reasonable, till we finally saw the second hand move. So time wasn’t frozen but it passed slowly enough that we wouldn’t ever have to worry about it. This opened new doors, but for what? Ken had basically been wandering around his circles as he rubbed his chin. He did eventually let me in on his little plan but I still don’t know how it took him so long to reach it.

“No rush huh. Well then let’s take our time and get you used to altering your body. Since nothing seems to bother us, and we’ve got more than ample space we may as well take advantage of it.”

“Wait… Let me guess, you’re suggesting we just start fist fighting while I get that other shit figured out?”

“Why the hell not? You heal faster, so I assume I will too. Those assholes were planning on training you anyways, why not get a head start?”

“Ken, do you even know how to fight? Didn’t you just mind control people back then?”

“That wasn’t on purpose, most of the time… and no, I mean I helped with smashing people into chunks sometimes back in the day, but the other two involved in all that did most of the grunt work really. I just got people into place.”

“So basically nether of us really has any idea what the fuck we’re doing.”

“Then we’ll just fuck up till we don’t anymore, easy.”

The logic was stupid, but not wrong. I still couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of using my death as just another excuse to train another abstract concept parading as a skill. But I guess it’s better to be prepared, than losing out there in the wastelands and having to deal with getting captured by something incomprehensible. 

Didn’t matter how slowly we went. Learning to change my body even in this weird dead state was more than just a tad difficult. A few things were quickly hammered out during the mixture of fighting and bodily alterations.  Blood being the first thing, Ken didn’t bleed while I did. Well most of the time I did at least… A lot of learning how this stuff worked came down to me and Ken fighting until one of us stopped moving. 

As predicted we really had no goddamn idea what we were actually doing. But over time I reached some answers.  For me if something felt like it ought to bleed it ended up doing so. Thankfully enough when I wasn’t thinking about it anymore it disappeared. So at the very least, I wasn’t gonna be risking another mental breakdown thanks to the stone turning permanently red. Displaying the extent of the madness of the entire plan to me every second of the day. A small blessing but I’d take it.

The other thing about my blood was it didn’t drench my clothes like it should… though those clothes were their own can of worms. Could take them off sure, but the second we weren’t actively fighting they’d shift back into existence as pristine as they ever were… I guess whatever they represented had specific standards… and getting torn, or stained sure as hell didn’t fit the vision. It’s a small blessing that this trip won’t have me wandering around in tattered blood soaked clothing again. So it’s an improvement over that little trip to fleshy isolation. 

While I was dealing with blood and the horror of the shit I was putting my body through, Ken on the other hand was having a grand old time. He obviously didn’t really have the same inherent connection to his body. So rearranging it into a goddamn monsterious mass of loosely human shaped flesh was a walk in the park. Ripped apart his clothes every time he did it, and the first he just changed back when he was done testing it out. Leading to a sight I’d really rather avoid, and learning that the clothes take a bit to come back.  He shrugged it off and said 

“It's not like I don’t see your bare ass all the time.”

Fuck man… yeah I figured that was a thing, but I sure as hell didn’t want to acknowledge it. That shit is some cursed knowledge I would have been happy to go to the grave without knowing… Yeah I know it’s a little late for privacy concerns when he’s been hitchhiking in my brain for years… But fuck man, being dumb as shit and never thinking about the details was the best plan I never made.

That terrible realization aside… Ken still took hits and all, but the only physical signs that showed up were short bursts of black dust. Even then I couldn’t be sure if it came from him or the stone beneath our feet. It was kinda unsatisfying, like nothing I did had an impact till he was laying on the ground not moving. 

During some down time, I found myself looking over my scars again. The fact I still even had them while I’m just supposed to be a soul was weird. God having an extra eye would have been so nice too…  Sure I could make up for it by opening my senses that thankfully still worked on Ken somehow. But why is that eye still missing? All that shit should have been left behind with my body.

The only thing I can think of is thanks to Ken not having blood. He didn’t expect to be there so it wasn’t. Somehow each of these scars must have hit my mind hard enough to convince me that the memory of it deserved to be engraved into my body…  

“Just get over that shit and it’ll go away.”

Ken was reading my thoughts then… I couldn’t help but scoff, like it was that goddamn easy.

“Sure, let’s start with you giving back my eye then.”

“You can’t just take back a gift Gaspar. You’ll have to live with that one as long as I’m around.”

“So kicking you out is the answer?  Easy enough.”

“HA! Says the man who off’d himself when I was gone for a day or two! Bet you were thinking about me the whole time like a little lost puppy.”

“Fuck off… You’re never going to let me live that down are you?” 

“Hell no! I’m going to rub it into that stupid face of yours until it sinks into that crippled brain of yours how idiotic you were and still are. Then I’ll repeat it a million times more for good measure”

He’s justified, sure, but damn was it nice to hit him in the face after that. Really it was a great stress reliever, at least when I was winning.  Fighting against him was strange at first. It’s not that I���ve never been in one before. I’d been in a few before mostly when I was being a piece of shit as a teen. All purely in self defence of course.  This was all different though, it’s not fueled by emotions and adrenaline. Without the desperation there was a little more clarity to get out of it. Even if we were going to the point of nearly killing each other.

Like they say practice makes perfect, and those brawls started lasting longer and longer. Partly because we were building up skill, and partly because we were getting used to getting hit. Take enough blows to the head and at some point they don’t leave you as dazed like they used to. 

We may not be alive but we still got worn out after long enough, it’s annoying but it’s not like it mattered how long this took. The extra time was always able to be spent watching the land, or making sure none of the residents here were trying to climb up.  Nothing ever did, a pretty puzzling fact, but it could just be Lucy protection doing work.  Or just that nothing can sense us this high up, let alone climb the basically 90 degree wall. Was pretty thankful that we didn’t seem to get hungry, or thirsty. The fact that the platform we were on was about the size of a football field was it’s own blessing too. 

There was more than enough room for me to step away and not see Ken’s stupid fucking face after the bastard cheated and threw gravel he’d found in my single working eye for example.

I took the longest and angriest nap after that. Sure we didn’t really seem to need sleep, but even the brain needs a break. It gave time to process everything too, build up ideas and plans, to be ready for the next go better than the last… I’m not really sure if Kenneth slept, he’d lay down, but I dunno if he got further than that. He always happened to be awake by the time I got up. 

God knows how long passed after that. Changing my flesh was still a mountain I was constantly climbing. You’d figured it’d be easy, after all I taught myself how to move again after countless failures in that dark nothingness.  But back then it was a matter of working out what was the real me, and how the parts all worked together to achieve motion. I had a base line thanks to my instincts sure, but the arrangement of it all took time and endless effort to realign. 

This was more like… Breaking my entire body into different points and using that as a stepping stone to grow out bone and tissue. If I wanted claws I needed to figure out what bones they would extend from, then work on changing everything around it in a way that’d allow its function. Sure I could make a 5 foot long bone shoot out the side of my arm, but without planning the added weight, unwieldiness would make the entire arm unusable, or just snap off entirely due to weight. I quickly lost count of how many times I’d tried something to just end up completely destroying my body in the process.  In a fucked up way I was thankful I was dead, learning this while dealing with the long term fallout of my mistakes would be goddamn impossible.  

Though I’m not really sure how useful any of this will be when I’m alive again… I’m still going to be limited to how much pain I can take, or how much blood I’ve got… Yeah maybe I could tap into the flesh lands for more fuel, but who knows what kinda bullshit long term effects that could have. Would blood or meat from there touching things change them? If you cut someone with it and it leaks into them what’ll happen?  Sure I’ve used that to heal people, but it’s still up in the air if that’s just a temporary solution that’s just waiting to blow up in my face or not. 

I sure as hell don’t want fucked up abominations popping up and wanting attention cause I’m their dad. Or more likely their stupid goddamn king. I’d say that all sounds stupid as fuck, but ken could control people, and he gave me his bullshit. It hasn’t shown up and I hope it never does. Even if it would be useful, I’m not so far gone that using people with their own lives as puppets sounds like a good time. I’ve got enough strange crap on my plate as is… 

Ken was the first one to pull out his claws mid fight. He’d been carefully watching for a while, and waiting until I’d started to figure things out. The changes were still slow but I did manage to replicate what Ken did with his hands. I still hit a real bad losing streak, claws worked for Kenneth, and he was becoming a quick son of a bitch. I just couldn’t get used to it. When I asked him how’d he’d make his hands work like that he’d just say something dumb like.

“Damn Mills, don't you know anything about fingering? You must have been real shit at foreplay.” 

How the fuck do you respond to that? He doesn’t even answer or offer any ideas just goes into his crude bullshit. Plus goddammit I know he’s got 0 experience, most of the time he talks like someone who’s just read about sex and proclaimed to be a pussy destroyer.  I just have to groan and move on because like many things to do with Kenneth the less said or thought about it the better…

It was during one of our many breaks that Ken brought up something… Off.

“Thinking again?”

“Mhm…  can’t turn that off unfortunately.”

“Yeah… That brain of yours is a real piece of work, you should demand a refund.”

“I’ll get bodily support on the line, I’m sure they’ll be out to replace it in 4 to 6 business days.”

“Hahah…I meant to bring this up but forgot while I was kicking your ass. Your teeth are looking sharp these days.”

“Rub it in my face will you… and literally, or figuratively?”

“...Really? Even if I answered you're just gonna stick your hand in regardless to check.

He called me out as I was in the middle of pricking myself on them. The answer was literally. Not sure when or how they got like that…but I tried to push them down and change them like I would bones, and they stayed for a bit until slowly changing back.

“God, that feels pretty dire… If I’m just my soul here, changes like that seem like signs of bad things to come.”

“What’s wrong with change? You’re not the same person you were a week ago, no reason to get hung up on something that’ll be normal come the next one.”

“I wish I’d stop doing that at least for a day or two. It makes it a little hard to figure out who I’m supposed to be.”

“You’re Gaspar Mills”

“Wow thanks, I had no idea… You know what I mean.”

“You want a complex answer but what’s the point? No matter how often the details change you’re still the same you. Disappointing, stupid, resilient… at least most of the time, and somehow pulling off shit that should be frankly impossible. Not that you really notice it, you get hung up on the fuck ups, and ignore the achievements.”

“Ha, like I’m the only one selling me short.”

“Anyone who undersells the shit you do is a goddamn fool, yourself included.”

He’s being weird again…

“...Why do you get like this?  Caring while also wanting to see me go through hell. I can’t figure it out.”

“Cause I know you unlike them?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Who knows, figure it out yourself.  We’re wasting time, let’s go another round."

Always with that ‘who knows’... Even if he couldn’t run away like he used to, attacking served the same purpose. The conversation was quickly buried under the chaos of the following losses. He was still better at this, and getting distracted by worthless thoughts wasn’t going to help.

The answer I eventually found boiled down to stop trying to fight like Kenneth does. He’s not human even if I forget that most of the time. He’s not stuck in the mindset of what people can normally do or how they tend to fight. So that quick moving, changing body parts on the fly and slashing thing works out for him. 

What I needed was something more traditional, then at least the only fucked up thing I need to figure out was the other worldy crap. The answer ended up being spikes that covered my knuckles at first, and eventually learning to cover my arms in bone to better block the on coming attacks. The whole process ended up looking like fucked up gauntlets by the end of it but let me actually start pulling off some wins for a change. It did lead to the natural problem of trying to get rid of all that bone when the fight was over.  The first few times I just got frustrated and smashed my arms on the ground till they shattered. Ken spent the whole time laughing at me, and saying ‘figure it out’ like always when I asked for a hint.  

I ended up feeling stupid as hell when I realized I could just change it into blood and the problem solves itself… It’s not like I instantly knew how to actually do that, it took a bit of work since I’d mainly been focused on bone and the tissue needed to support it related additions.  So the blood part of everything got a bit overlooked. It actually led me to a pretty good set of realizations. 

Since I bled here it gave me an added tool. At first I used it to form rope made of tendons, with the right timing it could be used to wrap around limbs and knock Ken off balance.  Since they could quickly form and dissolve it was unpredictable.  Ken started putting more time on strengthening his legs, and added more blades to his ever changing form. He’d figured out best to angle as a follow up to his rapid slashes. I kept up for a while and even started to stack up a few wins, but he kept going further. Everything altered for the intent purpose of growing faster and faster. If that led to holes appearing places that was just to cut wind resistance. Or getting rid of his ability to speak in exchange for more mass to attack with. He was willing to do it.

Speed could have been partly countered with my blood tricks, and more bone armor, but his newly added habit of jumping around made him hard as hell to keep track of. Let alone try and hit him with a punch. Again it was loss after, loss… Going a bit too far when he cut straight through my arm and we both stared at the still twitching limb.  

I could still feel it where it should be, but it was on the ground now…  I knew it, I could see it… Silence grew more and more intense until a blinding pain hit, as my arm slowly rebuilt itself from the bleeding nub. Returning covered in the same scars it used to have before and leaving the old one still laying on the ground.

“Ohhhhh!! That’s really neat!”

“What the FUCK Ken!?”

“You should have blocked it. Least we know now limbs grow back.”

“What if it didn’t?! What the hell would we do then?”

He waved it off like it was nothing

“...Man, you already know that you could just make a new one. It doing the work on its own is just easier. 

Huh, it isn’t disappearing like your blood does.”

“You’re right…”

“Make it into a club.”

“...What?”

“You’ve got the fist fighting thing down already. If you’re gonna be using a bat eventually you may as well start practicing.”

“It’s just going to shatter if I'm not actively reinforcing it. Not sure if I can do that while keeping up the armor.”

“Don’t people have iron in their blood? Make the center out of that.”

“I don’t even think that kind of metal is the same as the blood kind…”

“Then what about kidney stones? That’s a thing that happens.”

“Ken… When the hell did you pick this stuff up?”

“Hey I had some time to myself before I met up with you again, and I don’t judge what you do or watch in your free time.”

“You sit there judging me like 90% of the time, what are you talking about?!”

“Details, details, now don’t move too much. Maybe close your eye too.”

Dread filled every fiber of my being. He was about to do something real fucking stupid…

“Sto-”

My words fell on deaf ears. With a burst of speed, his full weight smashed against me and sent me tumbling before I even got the word out. Yet again the asshole was on top of me but this time for a new purpose.

“Since stuff ripped out of you will stick around… Well we may as well get you a kidney to work with. Hell while I’m at it I may as well scoop everything out.  Plus aren't you curious to see what that watch is connected to?”

“Wait, wait, wait!  I can just make new ones you don’t-”

His claws were already cutting through my chest, I was screaming but Ken quickly slashed out my throat to keep me from protesting.

“You can, so could I… but who knows if they’ll be accurate Why risk fucking it up when you’ve got the pieces alread- 

Huh… would you look at that…”

He had my ribs pulled open, there was a goddamn hole in them where the scar was.. It went deeper than it should’ve… Fuck I couldn’t look anymore. I wanted to scream at him to stop fucking around but I was too busy choking on my own blood. This asshole… He can read my mind this is just adding fucking insult to injury.  

Fuck, fuck, fuck… no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t look away, there was something sickenly captivating about it. In the center of my chest was a strange purple and red mass that pulsed with the beating of my slowing heart, hell maybe it was my heart? It was too fucked up in there to tell.  There was a bigger issue that was revealed anyways. The  watch’s chain wrapped and weaved around in the mix of organs, leaving not a single one spared from its embrace. 

Ken moved his hand over whatever the hell part of me that clock was attached too, a little too goddamn fascinated by everything going on.

“Let’s see what’s inside tha-”

The claw that tried to slice it open was immediately stopped, as chains wrapped around my insides started moving. Unraveling from inside of me outwards towards ken. Before either of us had grasped it most of Ken's arm had been sliced to shreds. When the sudden shock of what’d just happened past the pieces fell into place. It must have moved so fast that it acted as a chainsaw, before recoiling back inside me like a goddamn tape measure.

“H-huh….! So that’s what this feels like… It’s not too good is it…?”

Oh no really who would have ever guessed losing a limb would hurt?! Damn he’s taking leaps and bounds today. This shit seemed like a wash, but Ken still got up as I was trying to pull my insides back together. 

“Need to make it quick…”

My arms were sliced into forcing them to go limp, leaving me silently screaming as he ripped out my organs one by one. Chains didn’t do shit as long as he left their source alone, great to know that they’re traitorous bastards that won’t protect anything else… So Ken was easily able to untangle them from my insides and pluck them out one by one.  That was worse than the pain of fighting, or anything I’d felt before… Yeah, there was still a degree of hollowness to it but it was the fact I could still feel what was removed long after it was gone. God why did I even still have organs? I’m fucking dead, I don’t need accurate organs! Why couldn’t I just be empty, made of goo or some other bullshit like that. This to too fucking much.

Ken looked so fucking proud of himself when he was eventually done. He just placed them on the ground next to me and fell backwards.

“...I think… I want to try sleeping…. Yeah that… sounds good.”

We were not going to be moving again for a while… Even when I can again, it’ll be more learning… More pain, and fighting, and still we haven’t left the starting line. War’s going to follow, and I think I almost pity anything that would go against how batshit insane we’ve become…

…Ken had the right idea, I can't really move yet either so a nap sounded pretty good…

[myhatisblue]

don't think about it, just don't think about it

remebered that one silly comic of rake confessing evil things so i had to scribble a stupid thing,but its late and i need 2 get redy for beddytime bro, -> .'3 mills belongs 2 @/myhatisblue

if i was rake i'd just cut my losses and kill myse-

[myhatisblue]

If you were wondering why the eye patch is on the wrong side, I forgot to flip the scribble when I was done.

A classic move

[myhatisblue]

gross

[myhatisblue]

Part 18, may take a break after this one to write something for a different project but we'll see.

Well I guess I’m dead.  Kinda expected that this thinking stuff would have stopped by now…  Maybe I just need to wait a little longer? Not like I’ve got other options right now, so I guess I’ll just take it easy.

But..Ugh.. What the hells on my chest…? 

I don’t have a body, so you’d think this would be a little more comfortable…   Wait, why do I feel anything? I’m not alive, there’s no nerves to set off…

“Cause you aren’t nearly dead enough.”

‘Kenneth? Fuck… after dying I’m still stuck with you?!’

“Open your eyes idiot.”

He told me that but all I could see was him sitting on top of me and a grey sky above. A grin crossed his face and then his fist slammed into my head, again and again.

“I put goddamn years of work into keeping that stupid fucking brain of yours together and what do you do the second I’m gone!?  Start begging everything that even moves to kill you like a cheap goddamn whore!!”

Every blow hurt… Wait.. Why did it hurt?  He doesn’t have a body, and I shouldn’t have one either! How-

“You’re dead you stupid sack of shit, there is no difference between us!  It’s real great, I finally get the chance to work some anger out.”

Hit after hit came, while I’d managed to pull my arms out from under him to block at least some of the attacks it just made him change his methods. After landing a blow straight to my head, he used that daze as an opening to wrap his hands around my neck.  Occasionally lifting my neck upwards and slamming it down so the back of my head hit the hard ground under it. 

Holy shit… He was really doing it.  This asshole was going to suffocate me… This burns my lungs like a motherfucker but… Uh shouldn’t I have passed out already…?  I mean yes I’m trapped in an unending state of near death but it felt… Hollow maybe? Ugh… this is getting awkward.  

Ken seemed to just end up unsatisfied, and let go. Maybe he clued into this not really doing much… It could also just be a matter of how much pain it takes to really fuck me up these days, and him not getting there. Though that doesn’t feel right, choking is part of how I went out so there’s no reason it shouldn’t land…

Damn, my mind doesn’t normally wander like this… Is this part of being dead? The pain of being suffocated was already starting to fade, and I don’t even feel the hits my head took. 

“Haaaa… This is pointless. I thought I might feel better after all that but I’m just tired on top of being upset.”

He didn’t get off me just rotated so he could stretch out his legs off to the side. 

“I can’t believe you did that… Not just once but multiple damn times.”

Was still a tad busy catching my breath to respond to him. Did I even need to breathe or is this just an old habit?  Well whatever it was, it was made worse by Ken sitting on me. Soon enough the worst had past letting me finally get to responding to him

“I jumped once, well twice now. Not out of line all things considered”

“Don’t make light of that. I gave you too much credit, after everything I thought you’d be past this.”

Ugh… Come on, I’m trying to avoid talking about it. Let me just joke about it and move on…Ken didn’t agree and was intent on actually talking about this, but being honest here… It won’t sound good. There’s not a way for me to phase this without sounding weak… I can’t really do much else but try.

“That’s stupid on your part, everyone's really. Always thinking I can be pushed and pushed and just move on…  I don’t get to stop, dragged from one hell to another, and nothing has changed. I’m still just as pathetic as back then.”

“God I shouldn’t have stopped strangling you… Nothing's changed? I get that your perception is fucked with the missing eye and all but even you can’t be that blind. God I hate when you get all depressed and shit.”

“I could take a million steps forward, but the second I stop distracting myself my brain heads to the same place.  Why am I still alive? Why can’t I just shake off everything they’ve done? People need me to do that… They’ll die if I don’t.

God stop saying that dumb shit outloud… Why can’t I stop talking… I should be fine right? Just get up and-

“You’re a fucking idiot.  I told you they were pieces of shit and what do you do?  Ignore me, and keep sucking that cock. We could have been out there having the time of our lives, instead they treat you like shit and leave you a suicidal mess for me to clean up.”

“I’m the reason I’m a mess, and you’re acting like we had time at any point to break away.”

“We did before those pieces of shit bands came into play… And god you’re giving them a pass still? Mills even a fucking saint couldn’t forgive the shit they’ve done, why do you think you can?”

“Because people will get hurt if I don’t get this shit under control.”

“And have they ever helped you do that?! Even once? Everything they’ve done has just been torture with a different coat of paint on it. You may get to the answers and methods sure, but look at yourself.  How the hell is it worth this?  You weren’t like this before.”

“Ha… Regretting your choice to hand over everything?”

“No and I never will. Unlike everyone else and even yourself I’m here for you, even if you took away all of the powers, I’d still be here. That’s why this fucking kills me, I just want you be able to have a real life so I can see what it’s like. I do everything I can to keep you together and again and again these assholes just leave you broken. 

I can’t understand it. You don’t get angry at the people you should, and you just turn that hatred inwards and end up dead cause of it. Earth to Mills. You’re allowed to be overwhelmed, to fail, be selfish, even if people die. If I knew things would end up like this I would have made sure Sneckdraw died. This all goes back to him getting involved.”

“You couldn’t have killed him.”

“When I could still take control of people I would have done worse than that.”

“Kenneth, what did Lucy say to you?”

“Why does that matter?”

“Just answer.”

“She said you’re a bitch. Now stop trying to ch-”

“That’s the problem with you… I don’t doubt that you’re on my side, the problem is I can’t trust you. You leave out things, intentionally lie when it benefits you, and just disappear mid-conversation after saying a little too much.”

“You get hung up on such stupid crap, it’s not like any of that shit has mattered. You’ve never been hurt because of something I failed to say.”

“Yeah, but I’ve also gone into shit blind when you damn well knew what was coming.”

“I’m not here to baby you, and the shit I don’t tell you is for your own good. You’re already jumping off buildings, and begging people to kill you with what's on your plate already. You wouldn’t ever get up if you knew what was out there and what it wanted from you.”

“That’s for me to decide.”

“No it really isn’t. You know the risk you put people in, you go over it in your head, like how this is a bad idea, how shit’ll go wrong if you die. Yet you still fucking ended up like this. All I am doing is meeting you where you’re at. If you’re too weak to handle that then just fucking stay dead. I’ll take over while you curl into a ball and scream ‘woe is me!’ You selfish son of a bitch.”

“Oh I am fucking sorry for not being an emotionally dead rock who can just plow through everything thrown at him.”

“You think dying's the answer to that? No you’re just forcing your bullshit on other people, and that’s fine if that’s what you wanna do, go for it.  It’s this flip floppy bullshit that’s so goddamn annoying. Either man up and do the shit you tell yourself you need to, or accept that you can’t and just let these assholes die.”

Everything about this conversation had me saying things I’ll regret later, but it’s still coming… The words won’t stop. I don’t want to admit all this...

“Do I have to say it out loud?  I’m fucking terrified of myself Ken... I’ve killed two people now, I didn’t hesitate the first time, and the second I couldn’t stop myself. It didn’t matter how guilty that second guy was, no one deserved that.  I fucked up, I let a thought creep in and was too goddamn blind to stop it until it was too late.”

“Mills, I told you… You can’t kill it’s true nature, it’s always going to be there. Letting your guard down when using its strength is where that came from. Take some goddamn control, and it won’t happen.”

…Shit how’d I forget about that…? I knew things seemed strange during that, but was it that part of me manipulating things? Then does that mean…

“The older me in the dream… That was them?”

“Dreams are just dreams, Mills. Made of everything you’ve experienced in a day thrown in a blender and spewed out. If there’s more to it than that or not is up to you to decide.”

That dream… It was too vivid to be nothing, but does knowing what caused all of this help me?  That first kill took using the advantages I got from that side… It saved people, even if that hadn’t been the intended goal from the start. It may have been what opened me up to those suggestions down the line… It just saw the opening and took advantage… But now I know that it can do that… Couldn’t I potentially work on countering it next time?  Don’t know how yet, but maybe I could figure it out.

Fuck, I’ve been such a goddamn coward. 

Really… How the hell could I just lay down and let it win after that? Ken was right, I was being a selfish brat who took the easy way out without questioning shit any further. Maybe that was due hearing the guards saying exactly what I was thinking as well at that moment. Or I really was just that broken down after everything… But I can’t let this end the way it’s going…

“…Can you get off of me already?”

“I can but are you done being a bitch?”

“Probally not, but there’s shit to get done.”

Ken got up and brushed himself off.

“Good enough.”

Finally I was able to stand up and actually get a good look at where we actually were, at least after a bit of re-orienting. I was still a little rattled still from Ken’s attack even if it had faded by this point. In terms of what’s around it seemed like we were stuck on the top of a rocky mountain. The area immediately around us was flat but going a bit of a distance in any direction led to a steep drop. 

Down below you could see movement, Jagged rocks and strange shaped stones kept them mostly out of sight, but occasionally you’d catch the glint of glowing eyes looking up. The shape wasn’t anything close to human… They were hunched over, and all of their limbs on the ground. Even from creature to creature their forms seemed different… The whole picture was blurry but it seemed obvious to dub as a threat.

Past them surrounded by pointed cliffs, was a massive circular tower that shot up into the dark grey sky.  Maybe all of that up till now would have been manageable. But that’s ignoring the most irritating part. Every part of the land except for that massive tower was moving. The general shape of the cliffs stayed the same but shifted up and down. All at different speeds and heights.

“Take out that watch of yours.”

Ken’s request brought attention to the clothes I was wearing. I hated it.  While the comfort was incredible I can’t say that I was pleased when I noticed I was wearing a white suit. On top of that somehow that eyepatch had stuck around too, I mean the note it came with implied some weird shit but to follow me after death… I think I kinda misunderstood how big of a deal it was. 

Moving my attention back to what I was supposed to be doing…  I could see a small metal chain that led to my breast pocket where that damn pocket watch was.  Before I could even open it, I clued into where that chain was actually connected.  It was buried into the scar in the middle of my chest. Feeling the metal extend and contract as I moved the watch around reverberated throughout every inch of whatever the hell kind body this is. It looked and felt like mine, sure but the details seemed a little off.  Man… I wanted to be a ghost, but I was firmly planted to the ground. 

It was almost funny catching Ken trying to hop into the air like he would to float around me only to end up back on the ground and muttering a curse. He evidently was struggling a bit with how he was so I guess it’s different on his end too.

Finally I opened the watch only to see that the hour hand was constantly spinning clockwise, while the minute and second ones seemed to function as intended. Ken sat down at the edge of the cliff facing the tower and motioned for me to join him.

“There’s nothing on the cliff for us, so like it or not we’re gonna have to go down there eventually. May as well be smart about it and figure out how often shit down there moves… The place we landed hasn’t changed yet, and you were out for a while after I woke up.  Makes me think there are sections that stay static, we’ll want to pin those down too…”

“You’re already thinking about going down there? You can see things moving around, and they sure as hell don’t seem human.”

“What choice do we have? There's gotta be a way back if that asshole sneckdraw pulled it off multiple times.”

Ken’s overall plan was a solid idea, it just fell apart when faced with the reality of this place.  The problem was there didn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to how any of it moved. We spent a while sitting there timing shit out, but there wasn’t any consistency no matter what chunk of land we focused on.  It was all goddamn random. 

I caught Ken scratching the side of his head in frustration. Slightly pulling on his hair while his fingers ran through it. It really just made me wonder about the logistics of this one… No matter how I looked at it, it didn’t feel like my body had changed. It felt like I still had a physical presence… Aside from the strange scenery it would be easy to forget I was even dead…

“It seems as if you are beginning to grasp your situation gentlemen…”

That wasn’t Ken… Both of us quickly looked back and sweat dropped down my brow. Black fabric danced on the wind, Deep within its folds revealing itself for only mere moments, were two golden eyes. It landed and stood towering over Ken and I. Only then did it stop moving enough to see inside of the cloth was white skull. I found myself the first to speak.

“...Shit the grim reaper exists?!”

While I got ready to fist fight the goddamn grim reaper he just stood there. Considering what I’d said and answering with a strange tone in his voice.

“I am not sure if that is entirely accurate. The souls of the dead simply begged for guidance, and we are their final wishes given shape.”

Huh that sounds strangely familiar…  

“...Uh, so you’re a fae then?”

The look Ken shot at me was filled with confusion for some reason…

“The fuck…? How the hell does that thing look like a fairy to you Mills?”

Ah right… he was gone when Nora told me about Knocks.. I was gonna answer but the cloaked figure got to it before I could.

“He bears the work of the heart of the forge, an interesting creature to be sure. Very few  can bind an item to the soul, it seems they remain as talented as ever. 

Our existence is similar yet vastly different.”

“Wait, you know them?”

“We are aware of them, from time to time the dead speak of the glory of their creations, but we have never met before.”

“Huh, I guess they are a bigger deal than expected…”

“Glad you two are having a moment over there, but somebody needs to ask what it; What the hell do you even want?”

Ken had clearly gotten tired of the admittedly irrelevant questions I was asking.

“I thought it was made clear that I am here to provide guidance.”

“He did say he was the dead’s wishes given shape.”

“Stop acting buddy buddy with the goddamn Grim reaper Mills.”

“I know that was my first guess and all… But they don’t actually have a scythe, that is kinda key to the whole reaping part of the deal.”

“Oh, right, very different. Let me get out of your way so you can go suck their cock already.”

“Ugh if you're gonna say crap like that Ken, at least go for the obvious ‘boner’ joke, man. It’s right fucking there.”

An exasperated sigh came out of the robed figure as he thankfully interrupted this frankly stupid conversation.

“As entertaining as it is to watch you two gentlemen argue like an old married couple.. It is much more imperative that you cease the squabbling and heed my warnings.”

I get that he had important shit to say… but god that just made me realize how weird my relationship with Ken must seem… Not that there’s really a way to define it. The man who lives in my brain, who is almost always around, often getting far too close, keeps me from losing it, gets upset when I’m treated like shit, while simultaneously also wanting me to suffer in seemingly specific ways is a complicated mix to say the least. I’ve just gotten used to ignoring the weird shit he does, and have long since filed it under Kenneth being Kenneth.

Ugh don’t think about that… The skeleton had some crap to tell us so I nodded for him to continue.

“The souls of humanity have long since been cut off from eternal destinations. They now flood purgatory, a problem but comparatively manageable. What you must be warned about is those who have been infested by the void.”

“Wait, back up. Why can’t they go to their ‘eternal destinations’?”

“Those paths have been sealed.”

“Why and how?!”

“That is not my story to tell.”

Goddamn vague bullshit. I should have expected it was coming but it still felt fucking important.

Ken on the other hand seemed to be thinking deeply, looking at me momentarily as he debated something in his mind. Eventually ending up speaking.

“Shouldn’t the new divine’s protection keep them from getting to this place?”

“The tower itself is under their protection, not the perimeter around it. You will quickly become the target of beasts down there. You carry her protection, and their masters would be quite interested in… Conversing with you.”

So that ‘new divine’ really is Lucy..? Good to know but the rest of that information was a lot. Getting caught seems real bad. Given the implication, I have to assume that it’ll be a lot more than just a little talk…  Since Ken still seemed to be distracted, I asked my questions.

“Does alerting one set off all of them?”

“I cannot say for sure, I have witnessed them fighting amongst themselves so I do not think their efforts are unified.”

“Why is only the tower protected?”

“It is where those capable can find entrance to the land of the living.”

“That fills in a few blanks... I guess the last question is why are you even warning us, you can say it's due to being powered by guidance but there’s a lot of people dying every day. This feels a tad too targeted given what you seem to know already.”

“...I have met others like you, consider this out of respect for one who came before. You all cause such trouble after all…”

“You're implying there were multiple people like us before us?”

“Yes, but that is all I can say about the matter.”

“Now why's that..?”

“She does not tolerate others meddling in her affairs, and I wish to maintain our mutual understanding.”

Ken and I both exchanged glances, but neither of us seemed to have further questions. Likely he didn’t want to say anything till they were gone. So I spoke up.

“Well then if that’s all you can head out, sounds like Ken and I have some shit to figure out.”

“Very well, I wish you luck.”

The cloth that wrapped around him suddenly engulfed their form, tightening until all that remained was that black fabric…   From there it took to the wind, growing further and further away.

“What are you thinking about this one Mills?”

“Cant you read my mind?”

“Yeah, but just cause I can doesn’t mean I want all our conversations to go with that hanging over it. Not like I’m even paying attention most of the time.”

“I don’t get it, but seems like you’re playing this loose, asking that out loud… Aren’t you concerned that something might overhear?”

“Doubt anything out there can understand English.”

“But if what's out there are corrupted human souls, couldn’t they have learnt it from them?”

“Keyword of that one is corrupted. If they’re invading here, the goal is the tower, it’ll give them a way into the real world. Why keep enough of the soul intact to harvest its knowledge, if they’re playing attacker. Better to focus on causing the most damage.”

“Still sounds like there’s a lot of guessing on your part.”

“Cause it is. We don’t know exactly what’s involved here, and I only know about shit from the void. The dead and this place are part of your side of reality, so I’m as blind as you. Not a fan of that.”

“Ha, not a fan? I thought you wanted to experience everything I did.”

“I do, that doesn’t mean I wanna be risking my ass in the process. While we’re on this what’d you think of that grim fuck?”

“The skeleton? I don’t think he really said much that we couldn’t have pieced together.  Hammered out some details, sure, but it’s not like we would have ignored the main landmark of this place.

“I’m more asking if you trust what it had to say. Couldn’t tell since you were really going on with them.”

“You jealous?”

“Cute, now answer the damn question Mills.”

“My first thought is what can anything even do? I’m dead. You were choking the shit out of me too, it hurt like hell but even if I felt like I was gonna die it didn’t happen.  Pretty much healed up right away too… So getting trapped somewhere could basically mean eternal pain, so avoiding it was already obvious.  

But taking everything into account I don’t think we should trust it. That's the obvious answer I know, but it’s clearly not telling us things. The part about the tower seems real enough, given how vastly different it is. The bigger problem is the guy himself. It can fly, and has the advantage of knowing more about this place. Wouldn’t surprise me if it ends up watching and waiting for us to fuck up… So seems best to just assume the worst.”

“Why’d you act so goddamn friendly, at the start then?”

“You really got bent outta shape over that huh…?  It was just saying shit that seemed worth hearing. I was trying to encourage it to leak a few secrets."

“Well, what a waste of time that was.”

“Really what's with you?”

“You got yourself fucking killed, and I got to deal with you being depressed and an goddamn idiot. But the second some other asshole shows up you're perfectly fine and acting like nothing happened!”

I really didn’t know how to react to him… He’s right, but I guess I’ve been so used to us kinda treating each other like shit. It had gotten so routine, though I did really push things too far this time. 

“Sorry for that, I haven’t been right for a while. I guess I couldn’t realize how bad it was till you were gone…  By the time you got back… It didn’t feel like I could pull back anymore.”

Ken stared up into the sky as he ran a hand through his hair, and pushed it out of his eyes. His hair had gotten long, just like mine had. Much to his frustration, he’s always hated the hair… 

It’s really only at times like this that I realize how much he’s changed. I didn’t really think he was capable of caring like that, I mean clearly he didn’t want me to die even back then. That just seemed more out of personal interest, I don’t think he would have been too upset then if I did end up dead. 

Eventually he sighed dramatically and spoke again.

“Just start treating yourself like you deserve to be alive, so I don’t have to. I shouldn’t be the one acting like this.”

“I’ll try…”

That was the most I could give him right now. Sounds real easy but I can only see a pile of fuck ups…  He didn’t seem exactly pleased with that response but nodded all the same. 

Ugh we need to get focused again, there’s shit to do.

“So we should keep watching how things move, to at least pin down what parts don’t move.  But how the hell do we even get down from here?”

“Why even ask? You’re already the expert of it.”

“Already the… Oh, haha… you want to jump?!”

“Why not? Nothing broke while I was beating the shit out of you. A jump should be the same.”

“It still hurt like hell. What if something attacks while we are recovering from the fall? It’s not like we have weapons either.”

Kenneth stretched out his fingers, grinning at me, as the bones and flesh of his hand split and cracked into sharp claws. Couldn’t help but notice the complete lack of blood.

“We’ve got all we need, that ancient flesh goes as deep as the soul. You’ll always be part of it just like I am. Long as you can figure out a method, everything will fall into place. Just think of this as a nice learning experience.”

We were going to be here a while trying to figure out how to move forward but at least the goal was there. Still I can’t fucking believe it… That goddamn meat bullshit is going to be what gets us out of here… 

[myhatisblue]

Even if it makes 0 sense I love it all the same

wanted to practice posing and had the word "stellar corona" stuck in my head + wanted to draw suits and then wanted to draw wiz and then wanted to draw hat's Lucy bc they are in a suit, so I just did like, all three instead of making like possibly 5 other WIPS ...this shit makes 0 sense btw!!!!! I just be drawing shit!!!!

Lucy belongs 2 @/myhatisblue

oh boy!! 1 am time to post my drawings!!!!

[myhatisblue]

The mental image of Mills being super haggard from training horse girls is very funny. That is also a very strange sentence out of context.

this isn't anything, I just neded to draw this Had ad ream and at one point i was floating and following Mills home and Rake was at his place but Rake was a horse.. like a rlly detailed horse compared to the rest of the dream it was rlly fucking weird.

Mills belongs 2 @/myhatisblue

bonus doodle due to current internetz events

[myhatisblue]

I wrote a short post part 17 thing, I'll post it while I am still working on 18

I have known many men across my long years. Some show incredible cowardice betraying their own morals and allies if the situation demands it. While others will simply avoid the trouble, trusting that proper foresight will be the best solution..  The stronger of them stand proud and ready to meet their foe even when faced with the impossible. And then there are those who are forced to fight tooth and nail to survive, casting aside even logic and reason if necessary…The last category tend to be the most dangerous, they are unpredictable, and are not motivated by greed, or pride… A bribe may help yes, but their base instincts remain merely buried for a time.

Gaspar Mills… Even while dead he causes me such strife. The guards would always fail to intervene. Lucy’s involvement was a key centerpoint of our conversation, and she would not allow others to hear such inconvenient utterances. Not even the advancement of mankind's technology can counter her whims. Though I do find myself investigating to see if that is still the case every few years. The messages are recorded, yes, but the mind of those uninvolved seem incapable of preserving it even when watched back. Sometimes they hear nothing, other times the words spoken are altered completely. On rare occasions one will be capable of hearing the truth, but it is as if another language is being spoken entirely.  They tend to be the most likely to become involved with her…

While this granted me the freedom to snap Mills’ neck uninterrupted, the ramifications of that act would be needlessly tiresome.  It was indeed necessary, he was marching towards death. If it had occurred outside of these walls, the issues caused could spiral far further.. By all accounts this is the correct path forward. 

Before this began I rested my cane down next to the now worthless food. A momentary break for the mind was all well and good, but now it would only complicate things. My thoughts will compensate for my drained spirit. Now I simply had to wait for what came next. 

Guards would eventually come brandishing their weapons, how could they not? From their perspective I murdered a man in cold blood, and I doubt the tale of what Mills has done would have been implanted yet to dissuade their efforts.  All such pointless motions... I allow them to shackle my wrists, and remove my mask. I wonder, do they intend on allowing the poison in my veins to limit my capabilities on their own? Or is this a pointless attempt to find answers on a face incapable of producing emotion? The muscles have long since broken down, either due to infection or the medications pumped directly into it. Taste and smell, long since gone… While I am still capable of eating it is largely due to my mind making up for the weakened base… I am sure many would mourn what has been lost, yet I have long since accepted this burden. Just as my acts now serve to cause me only further annoyances. Decades of work and trust crushed in a moment, so that a poor fool can grasp what it is he has been begging for.

I drew my limit however when they attempted to steal consciousness from my mind. Anyone foolish enough to try would eventually find himself injected by the very needle he once held. That is my advantage, a strength that could neither be seen or over powered at least not by those here. Though they will try, perhaps a bullet or two may even split my skin. While I could stop them, misdirecting them consumes far less effort. The lesser wounds mean little to a body so battered and broken. So I allow them the confidence granted by seeing me bleed, but that patience has its limits… Perhaps they should be reminded of where they stand? That bit of ego I grant them may ruin their future development… For good measure I send them flying against the metal walls of the garden, and walk myself towards an interrogation room. I did inform those watching of my intentions before I left, if only to save them from an unnecessary mess. 

The door to my destination opened on its own when I finally reached it.  There I walked until I stood in the middle of the small empty room. There was a moment of silence that allowed me to examine the metal around my wrists. It seems as though they have started to improve their efforts to stop me if it comes to it. Shackles designed to specifically contain me, I could break free of most restraints by unlocking them with a single thought.  These do not have any visual mechanism that I can reach into. Most of it was kept internal and enclosed, likely released by either a card key, or security wireless input. Yet another sign of the passing of time…

It mattered little, the room would do the rest of the work. Glyphs carved into walls sparked to life, and from them spew forth chains that wrapped and restrained my body. Pulling my already bound wrists above my head. From there the second function of this room revealed itself. A bitter light radiated from the chains, draining what little energy I’d managed to regain after Mills’ extended teaching session. For now I shall rest, held up by those metal rings until the time comes to justify my actions. 

[myhatisblue]

Part 17, jesus we are getting close to 20 aren't we.

With everything that had happened, I’d let myself forget the cruelty inherent to my occupation…

Could blame Harris for bringing me in when I was promised 2 weeks. Or I could blame myself for getting into this mess by playing hero like an idiot. There’s also the Killer you made me go as far and I did… But what's the point?  I’m the one that made things go the way they did.

Everything was laid bare for this corner of the world to see. My secrets were reported and put on record, and it no longer mattered what state I was in... These new truths had immediately become a subject requiring high priority research… I had made some attempts to push it off but not being able to walk, or feeling completely broken didn’t fly as a ‘reasonable’ excuse.  

It started with me being brought animals, when a mouse didn’t set it off, a rabbit came in, then a dog. None of them forced themselves into my mindscape, though all of those animals seemed pretty off… I’d say they were scared but it could have just been the stress of being handled. I dunno, I might not be an animal person but making them go through that felt pretty rough. I might not be hurting them, but it was like they somehow knew something was wrong with me. Couldn’t help but wonder if it was related to why Knocks said I smelt…

When we got to the second round of tests it stopped being animals… I found myself sitting in a small white room, there was a metal table and one normal chair, while the one across from it was bolted to the floor…  Ha… I’d been here, or in a room like it before when Sneckdraw was interrogating me so long ago. This time I was the one sitting where he once was… It feels like that was decades ago after everything that’s happened since…

While I was alone there for a while people were eventually brought one at a time, in chains, blindfolded, and wearing earplugs. Their hands would be locked to the top of the table by a man in full black military garb.  The guard’s face was completely hidden under a gasmask, but I could tell when I was being stared at… And it was noticeable enough to be uncomfortable.

 When I tried to get an explanation, I was told to ‘proceed with the test’… I wasn’t stupid I got the implications quick but there was no fucking way I was risking contact in this state. Focus was always being interrupted by shots of sudden pain. This could go bad real quick. So I refused, the first time the guard pulled a pistol and pointed it directly at my head. I almost fucking laughed at him. I was already broken as hell, what the fuck would another bullet hole even do. Especially after experiencing being shot by a revolver, he was basically just waving around a BB gun and acting like big shit.  Really even if it did the job a bullet to the skull is a decent enough solution to my problems. 

So I said fuck it and leaned into the barrel of gun, telling the guard to just pull the trigger and let me sleep.  Hell when it seemed like he was starting to falter I grabbed the gun and made sure it was pointed at the center of my skull. I’m being self-destructive again.. I’m going to hear someone ramble on again about how I need to live.  If words could get rid of that garbage eating away at my brain don’t you think I’d have done more about it?  Ken has done the most to keep that part of me from getting the time of day, but right now he was staying out of this.  

That guard ended up being a bitch in the end. He just punched me in the face, and called in another pair of hands dressed the exact same way he was. At that point it was a sheer numbers game, one I’d struggle to win even if I was perfectly healthy. Still I made them fucking work for it, making sure to struggle against them for as long as I could.  There was just no escaping where this was headed. My hand would eventually be forced to touch the prisoners. 

Everytime the world lost its color and the person before me would start to fall apart and beg to be freed from the prison they’re trapped in… Again, and again, always calling me the king of roaches… By the fourth one I’d finally given up fighting and was just trying to reject them as quickly as possible. They never tried fighting back after I’d told them to screw off. It seemed like a pretty easy problem to solve…  All I’d have to do after that was just report what happened to my hidden audience and move on to the next...

Until the seventh one was placed in front of me, it was then that order came delivered by a guard.

‘Try freeing them this time.’

My entire body recoiled at the simple suggestion of that. It didn’t matter how hard I tired to explaine, that I had no idea what that actually meant. Or if I warned them it was a bad fucking idea. The demand remained the same… They were fucking insane… really. As hard as I tried to pull my hand away from the guards it ended up exactly where they wanted it.

The plan had to change… I could lie and say it didn’t work but they’d just keep trying and…  Isn’t it better to do it in a controlled environment? But it’s still a goddamn human life here, I can’t just fuck around with something like that.  Killing that invisible asshole was one thing, they’d given me enough of a reason to do that. This was just some a prisoner they picked up who the fuck knows where… 

I’ll just screw with them… I’ll say okay, and then do nothing. Least then I could reasonably sell the idea that I tried.  It was a plan, easy, just one word and bang it’s over… But second I agreed to their demented cries… a mixture of screaming and laughter filled my ears. The air in the room shifted, and everything went red. A mist consumed the room as the body before me unraveled itself, bones and flesh ripping apart, the tissue moving and forming new shapes. Sure visually the changed after contact… but blood gushing and sounds of bones snapping was too visceral…  This was real, not some trick my mind pulled but the complete destruction of what was once a human being.

The sounds it made grew more and more monsterious with every passing second. Screams of pain and ones of ecstasy grew louder and louder until there was no throat left to scream… Now left as an unidentifiable bloody mass reaching out diving in and out of its other parts shaping and building something new. 

I couldn’t pull my hand back and stop it, not due to the guards though… They had long since let go, muttering a series of curses in terror drenched awe. Part of me knew I needed to stop, begged for it even… But a burning curiosity pushed me forward... Why did they all want this?  What did freedom look like? And if they were trapped… What or who had done it…? I’d only start to find answers if I let this happen at least once… Just a single time.  This man was already dead, at least I can make it mean something!

…Mean something…? Wait… No, no this isn’t right.  Why the hell would I be okay with them dying?! Pull back, stop this, regain control!  I forced my eye closed, and made myself focus only on my own body. Commanding myself to let go of their hand. It was slow, the damage I’d suffered was still making its presence known. But I gained ground and eventually took back control.

Clarity came with a shattering crash, the storm had passed but my mind had suffered the blunt of it. Sure I’d come out the other side…  but it was far, far too late… I was drenched in blood, and before me was a pile of flesh, entwined intestines and fat that cradled in its center a flower built of gore. Teeth lining its petals, reaching out towards the light, and framed by the red that now covered every wall. It was just like the ones that grew in that goddamn hell… I could swear I heard a soft joyous hum coming from inside of it… I stumbled up and pressed my back against the wall furthest away from the nightmare I’d given shape to. Even if I couldn’t see it I knew that those two guards were staring at me with fear and fury in their eyes…   

I couldn’t help but scream, at them and those watching.

“I TOLD YOU ASSHOLES WE SHOULDN’T DO THIS!! ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?! I hope you choke on that fucking data you sons of bitches. Hope it eats you alive and rips your goddamn eyes out. We are fucking done… We should have done this, why the fuck didn’t I fight more.  I knew this was going to go bad I fucking knew it!”

The pain in my body finally caught up and my legs collapsed under my weight. If things moved around me I don’t know… My hands were buried into my skull, digging away at the skin. Desperately trying to claw out the thoughts that had snuck in under my own nose. 

“This isn’t my fault… They ordered me do it… I didn’t just murder someone in cold blood… I didn’t want to see what’d happen… It wasn’t me. It…”

A foot crashed into my skull… whatever the guard said was muffled by his mask as it slammed his foot down again and again… When all I’d done was do exactly what they wanted… But in a way this is what I deserved, even if it was an order I still did it… So I smiled with my broken face and bloody face and asked them to end it… Glad it was painful, his gun would have made this too quick… Unfortunately life isn’t so kind, something had entered to stop them, its red burning eyes clear even through the haze of a broken skull. Weakly I tried to reach out and stop it.

“No…just..let them.”

Was at least the last thing I tried  to say, before the room grew quiet and a needle eventually pierced my neck and took everything away.

I don’t know how long it’d been… When my mind came to, I was laying in a pile of rubble. After I dragged myself to my feet, the horror of scenery sunk in. Corpses flooded the streets of a ruined city. Some partially eaten, others smashed to pieces, all of them long since dead. In the middle of it all stood a man, his long messy hair blowing in the wind. He turned to me, his clothes were tattered and stained red.  It was me… Sure they looked older, but the scars around their arms and wrists made it obvious... He had both eyes and they were red and out lined in an almost glowing yellow… Slowly he approached, while he shot me a smile.

Every step he took brought forth a wave of bloodied flesh It moved outwards from him wrapping around the rubble and corpses and consuming all of it. He took his time, allowing everything around us to be coated in that terrifying flesh.

He stopped a few feet away from me, his arm slowly rising.. Before had I even considered stopping him he snapped his fingers. In an instant it felt like all my bones shattered, body collapsing and falling to the ground as I screamed in unfathomable agony. Rotting it that fucking suffering while he loomed over me with that goddamn smile on his face. Never responding to any of my curses or cries, just endlessly watching.

It felt like an eternity had passed before he finally kneeled down and placed his hand right on the center of my chest. The scar beneath burned as the flesh that spewed from him slowly started to devour me. Swelling until all that remained was a sea of red, and the memory of that other me’s goddamn grinning face…

My eye shot open and I couldn’t catch my breath when I woke up, for real this time. My clothes were drenched in sweat, and a cold chill ran down my neck. It was a dream, it was all a just a fucking dream! Hahaha… Of course it was, what else could it have been… 

Unprompted the memory of the atrocity I’d committed flashed in my mind, dragging me back to reality. Shit right…Where the fuck I am…? There’s flowers… actual ones… I was in a garden, laying on a bench, the ceiling was metal with sprinklers built into it… Overall the place had a strange mixture of both the natural and a cold mechanical indifference to it… I’m not sure if I was left here as an insult or what…  Maybe this was to remind me of what I’d done…? If they were going to give me shit for what they wanted me to do, they could just get to the goddamn point instead of leaving me here alone.

I tried to get up and while there was a little numbness it seemed like my body at the very least was in a better place. The two doors to this room were locked, so this was just a fancy cell… what goddamn bastards.  Just put me in a normal goddamn prison if that’s what you're going to do.  Why do you have to rub it in my face like this…

Ended up back at the bench eventually, my head resting in my hands.  What the fuck was that dream…?  Why the garden… what the hell comes next… 

As if to answer my mental questioning, one of the doors opened, and Sneckdraw entered with a tray of food in one hand and a cane in the other. 

“You here to torture me again?”

“Is eating a painful occurrence in your current state?”

The tray was held out to me, it was a salad and some… semi unidentifiable meat block.  I assume it was supposed to be a meatloaf though it seemed like it’d be out for a while after being overcooked. For the time being I placed it down on the bench next to me.

“No, but being here seems pretty fucking intentional.”

“Intentional…? This is where I come to relax, it is a rare occurrence but while injured often I need such a distraction.  Rare as that is.”

“You didn’t even consider that bringing me to a place full of flowers after what happened might have been a bad idea?!”

He stood there, his weight leaning heavily onto the cane yet still he was just unnerving and overbearingly intense as he always had been.  The drawn out silence only made the passing time seem so much longer. 

“That thought… no, it had not occurred. It is warranting some consideration I will admit.”

He didn’t move, nothing hinted at this being a joke or an elaborate way of fucking with me. Jesus christ…  I forgot this asshole has no fucking concept of what interrating with people is like. He just picked a place he thought was nice... For a guy that seems so fucking smart, and skilled he was basiclly brain dead when it came figuring out how people think and react to his actions… 

“...God, why did you even stop them? You saw what happened.”

“The guard was acting on his own whims, and the man you killed had long since earned his end. Only those condemned to death for truly heinous crimes end up in his position. Do not feel guilt for what you did to him, it was more than justified.”

“That doesn’t make it fine, order or not I did it.  Worst of all I wanted to see what would happen and didn’t stop.  I should have fucking stopped. Why didn’t I fucking stop?? I can’t keep doing this… Just let this fucking end already.

“Death will not free you. Not after the deal you struck.”

“How do you know that?”

It was a stupid question of course, of course someone like him has had more than his fair share of near death experiences. At least something like that was what I expected him to talk about… but instead he pulled up his sleeve. The outside of his arms were covered in boils, scars and skin on the verge of turning pitch black. But what he seemed to want to show me was on the inside of his arm.  Even among all the long scars running down his forearms that couldn’t be buried among the rest.  It wasn’t the sign of one suicide attempt, but at least 5 on that single arm alone…

“My introduction to this world came at the height of the last great war… I was a field medic at the time, we had gotten the all clear and I was offering support to civilians who were in need of it.  

Unfortunately an enemy had managed to keep out of sight, it was as if their aim was guided by the devil itself… Every shot ended in instantaneous death , save for the two that landed upon me.  My end may not have been instantious, but that did not mean the fallout was kind. While I was capable of guiding a companion to tend to my wounds, it did not stop the infection from taking hold… 

Whilst I was comatose my unit was informed of a doctor who lived alone in a mansion just outside of town. Support was still days out, and I never got a chance to stop them from taking the risk…  One that would lead all of them to their doom.

The ‘doctor’ had turned out to be a necromancer, an all too common sort of rat that clings to the ever moving war machine.  Pilfering the bounty of the battle fields for their own gains… 

He had seen the name on my tags, and presumed me to be a long lost comrade of his fatherland. That was all of the justification he needed… I was kept under lock and key, drained of blood, beaten, questioned, and kept alive despite every attempt I made to escape.  The first time I met her… The doctor had decided to play a cruel game even by his standards... 

It was the middle of winter, I stood in a small courtyard completely surrounded by that vile bastard's home… He had decided that I had rebelled far too much at that time, so he had given me a shovel and flooded the yard with his walking corpses.  They circled around me.  The bodies of my comrades, ripped apart and put back together to fit that sadist's whims.  They stood there watching as I was forced to dig my own grave. All while he glared down at me from the second floor windows, in warmth and comfort. Completely assured that his pawns would see the job done. Enough to step away when he was satisfied with the scene.

I do not think he planned to kill me then… No, the exercise was meant to break my mind and body in that bitter cold.  It was as I fought to move the frozen ground, my hands bloodied and numb that she appeared. Her arms wrapped around my beaten body, as offered me a way to end this. Strength to ensure that everyone would be freed from the sins committed against them, and to crush the doctor's neck in my hands. I agreed, and the vengeance was glorious, but it was a joy that did not last…  My friends were still gone, and their bodies desecrated. 

While the scars carved into my body and mind were too deep to ignore…  

I made more than one attempt to take my own life, each failed as my body recovered over and over… It was just assumed to be the result of tests the doctor had done… Among other reasons it was thanks to that resilience that I was offered a place in the mental enrichment program.  It was there I found a new kind of suffering, and a power never seen before… Yet it did not lead me a single step closer to the death I dreamt of.”

“...What did you give Lucy?”

“I do not know, that memory was taken along with whatever it was… But the point remains, that I am not infallible. I have lived and been to the brink, again and again and despite my whims my body continues to reject death… Your desires are misguided, yet I know too well where they take root. The unfortunate reality is that it is not our lives we put in danger when we yearn for an end… It is those who do not share our fate. Regardless of if you try to detach and disconnect, our actions will draw others to us...”

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing to the point tears fell. Even as those dead red eyes stared at me he didn’t realize the outrageousness of this all…

“If you know all of this, if you really really understood…  Why did you let them do everything they have so far? The isolation, the abuse, and the physical and mental torture… You let all of it happen… You're all just following the same tricks as that necromancer you went on about.”

“Trust cannot be established when one party withholds secrets that put those around them at risk.”

“Trust?  What the fuck kind of trust have I gotten from you guys? Are the bands around my arms just a fun fashion accessory? No, wait let’s step back, I still don’t even know who the fuck I supposed to be working for.”

“You rebel against the chains that restrain you, yet you have made far more use out of them than we have… Even discounting the failed attempts during your training.”

“Screw off, my other options were to bleed out or worse.”

“No, what you continue to misunderstand is the threat you pose to those around you. I could repeat it again and again, but until you saw the reality of it you could never have grasped what is at stake.”

“Then get rid of me, you went on about how once a deal is struck with lucy there’s no way out, but you’ve already shown me that’s not true.  You think a fun little story of how the poor tragic Sneckdraw became the asshole he is today would make me forget what you did?  How long did I hang there powerless? You’re just the-”

My throat slammed closed as an invisible force tightened around my neck.

“Fine, if it is death you wish to experience, so be it.”

I was lifted off the ground, my legs hopelessly kicking, as my hands tried hopelessly to free my neck. There was nothing to move, just a cold presence that grew tighter and tighter. 

“Sck-!”

“I hope that next time we speak, you are more willing to have a civilised conversation. I offered you understanding and context… Yet you spit in my face. But I do understand. Words cannot go far enough, knowledge is only properly gained through experience.”

He was actually going to fucking do it, this… He’s fucking crazy… 

“Goodbye for now, Mills.” 

My neck snapping was the last sound I was capable of making. 

[myhatisblue]

I wanted to add some shit to part 16

I’ve woken up disoriented and confused more than enough times but this was the worst I’ve ever felt by far. On one hand I was where I’d remembered passing out, that person I tried saving was also gone so I guess that was good too. On the other hand though… Jesus christ was I fucking broken, the pain coming from basicly everywhere was blinding and still my legs felt even worse. Trying to change position even an inch sent sharp pain flooding though everything. It hit so goddamn hard and sudden every instance knocked the air out of my lungs. The best I could do was lay there wheezing, desperately trying to not suffocate. How the fuck did I even get this far…? 

Adrenaline can make people do crazy shit but this…? No it’s too goddamn dramatic, this must be because my brain stopped keeping everything together.  I knew I was pushing it just didn’t grasp how much I was actually doing… My mind dying left everything to fall apart, this is bad… Nothing’s listening to me so I can’t order it to fix itself every command is just hitting a cement wall. Leaving me mentally screaming at nothing.

“When Lucy said you needed some time to yourself to ‘learn to stand on your own’, I don’t think she took into account how much you could fuck that up.”

“Ke..n”

“Ha… man you’re a mess, what’d you do fling yourself off a building again?”

“...Fling… wrong word… Jump mor- FUCK…! Owwww…”

Talking was too much, that sentence alone used up basically all the air I had left in me.  Worse than that, all the coughing and misery that followed reached my stomach. Whatever was left in there came out mixed with congealed chunks of blood. 

“Wow… this is on another level. I guess I’m impressed you still had it in you, but you really went and pissed on all the hard work I did to keep that stupid brain of yours together huh?”

He was getting harder to hear, need to find a way to either cut off the pain, or knock myself the fuck out… Ha… Shit… There’s always an easy answer wrapped around my arms. It took a while to get anything going. Even when I did my hands were too clumsy to really use, forcing me to use my teeth to roll up my sleeves. 

“Aww, you're done already? But help is already on its way, and the other person and that knife are gone. I thought you hated being screwed with while you’re knocked out.”

“Too much… can’t breathe...”

“Haaa…. This is too pathetic, but it’s fine I’ll be nice and do the talking. Lucy had a lot of fun things to say, made some threats, but we landed on a deal. Add another thing to the list of reasons you owe me, cause things ended up in your favor.”

“W-hat…?”

“God just think your answers you idiot, I can hear you rambling on.”

‘What’d you give up?’

“Come on now, you know I can’t ruin the surprise. I can say that when it comes time you won’t miss it. More importantly I made sure to fit in getting me one of those fancy white suits, not that you had the decency of noticing it!”

‘A little preoccupied with my own problems to notice that.” 

“It’s white with purple and gold trim! How’d you miss it?  It’s not like you stabbed out your other eye.”

‘I’m fucking bleeding out Kenneth…’

“Minor details.”

‘Asshole.. at least tell me more about what Lucy said…’

“Listen real close cause I won’t repeat this… She said you were a bitch.”

‘Godammit, fuck off Ken…’

“Hahahaha ahhhh, it’s just too goddamn easy… Aren’t you gonna suck off those bands already? You aren’t looking too good.”

‘Wow who could have guessed I’d be fucked up. At least passing the hell out will shut you up.’

“Yeah, yeah stop being a bitch and bite down and ride this hell out.”

I didn’t need him to say it… I was gonna sink my teeth into one of those bands regardless.  It was stupid, all this goddamn effort just to throw gas on an already burning fire. There’s something to seeing an idea land on its mark, even when the reward just hurts worse than what came before. At least it was enough to take everything away in the end. Would have been nice to avoid the smell of burning skin before that darkness kicked in.  That’ll stick in my memories more than the painful part of this stupid exercise…

Just like that, It was time to try this again.  Now the next time I woke up shit still hurt, but it was nothing compared to before. 

I’d been moved and was in a small room this time. The first thing I noticed were the posters about workplace safely covering the walls. Combined with the obvious lack of tech that you’d expect from a hospital, seemed like a fair guess that I was still in the factory. Probably like a nurses office… 

Urk… Even a hit from the bands wasn’t enough to make this kinda damage easy to sleep through. The plan was shit from the start but least things aren’t as bad. It’s still pretty conflicting. Part of me just wants to get to the point where everythings healed but at the same time I don’t wanna be drugged and studied for god knows how long. That’s giving up way too much control for temporary comfort. It’s not something I want to get used to…

Harris was as I pretty much expected sitting next to the bed, again reading. It seemed like he knew I was awake but was giving me time to wake up. Really all it did was give me time to remember how pissed I was at him. 

“Should have done your job…”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes, placing his reader on a near by table.

“You're right, I’ll admit it. What happened?”

“I’ll get to that, but why do you trust that bird so much?”

“Knocks? I’ve known her for a few decades.”

“Decades?!”

“Yeah. Nora's bloodline has helped train a couple of the heart of the forges in the past. They tend to stay around artisans and bring good luck, but they’re picky about who they actually like.  Hell even I had to get that bird’s approval to even marry Nora. Because unfortunately the forge’s luck is more important than true love. It worked out in the end, she even showed up to our wedding. Though she stayed out of sight and stole food whenever there was an opportunity.”

“So everyone just has to accept the weird shit she does because of ‘luck’??”

“I’d say it’s more a ‘you learn to pick your battles’ thing. She sees this as her territory and because of that she makes sure strangers won’t cause trouble. At most there’s some scratches and bruises afterwards but she doesn’t severely injure people…Well as long don’t fail her assessment. It’s all fire and brimstone after that happens, so there’s really no saving someone if they hit her ‘shit’ list.   It’s rare for things to go that far, and generally completely justified.”

I wonder if that fire and brimstone thing is literal or figurative.. Urgn, I need to keep this on track for the time being so I’ll let that line of thinking slide.

“Well a killer still got past her, and they’d already hid a body on the second floor before I’d noticed them. So even with all her fancy fire it wasn’t enough to counter the shit they did. That or she ditched me knowing someone was already dead.”

“She’s too proud to let someone mess with somewhere she thinks she owns, so I highly doubt it’s that. How about you go over everything cause I’ve got a feeling there’s more to it. ”

“Knocks dragged me here to give me the eyepatch and then dipped. Leaving me stuck on the roof and debating what to do. It started with me just being curious to see if people were still working. I didn't really expect to notice a body, it had to have been warm still so I was able to pick up on it… At least I think so? 

Really I didn’t want to get involved, but cause I used that sense thing while Nora was around I knew she was still on the first floor. Figured I’d pretty much guarantee my self some time in a cell if I did nothing. So ignoring it after that was out of the question. I just didn’t really have a good way of getting to the first floor… So I stopped thinking about it and jumped off the building while I hoped that I could keep my body together. Seemed like it worked enough to keep moving but you can see how that turned out the second I wasn’t actively managing it.”

“You jumped off a building for someone you just met yesterday??”

“After you two went on about how you ready to kill any one if they hurt the other, the fuck am I supposed to do? Take a nap on the roof and wait for this all to blow over?”

He didn’t say anything but it’s not like he had to, we both knew I was right on the money.

“Didn’t think so, though I’d planned on just warning her, and letting the professionals handle this.  That dream died real quick when I realized soon after that I was heading directly towards the killer thanks to those stupid halls.”

“So how’d they go unnoticed?”

“Asshole was invisible, only caught them cause they stabbed that lady on the second floor. Was able to figure out what body was theirs then and track them that way. Even with all that info they still managed to get me pretty good…  Bet on them trying to keep a low profile, but instead  they just instantly went to gutting me.  Was able to change shit inside enough to keep the knife stuck where it was, and that gave me room to… ugh let’s not talk about that part you can put the rest together... It turned into the husk after it died, but up till then there was no major differences between them and anyone else here”

Was only when shit like that game up that it was starting to sink in that I’d killed someone… It was in self defence sure, but that doesn’t make that sound, or how they clawed at my arms go away… It’s a fucking blessing that I couldn’t see their face. It's easier to pretend that they weren't really alive, or even human, even if I know full well what I felt beforehand. It’s fucked up to get hung up on this when they deserved it. It’s not like I hadn’t killed things before…  Why would I get hung up on that…

“Breathe Mills, even if you shouldn’t have had to, you did the right thing.”

“What the fuck was that thing Harris?  Its body felt and sounded human up till the second it became visible, then it just shifted into that silent husk.”

“Whatever that person made a deal with didn’t want any of their secrets being spilled. Those capable will figure out if they were replaced by the husk via some sort of teleportation, or if the contract they signed just ended in bodily destruction upon death. 

Generally the dealmakers have a source that feeds into their strength, that can manifest in a lot of ways. From either a method of attack, to just a means of tempting others into following their whims. Death or unity, those are the options. One spreads with fear and stomps out those that stand in their way, the other shifts the very world and people around it to turn them into pawns to further spread its cause. In this case that could be a lot of things, from something whose nature aligned with rot, silence, ruination, or worst case death.”

“Wouldn’t ruin and death be pretty much the same thing?”

“There’s no coming back from either a literal death, or a mental one, while there’s a means of still moving on after a building collapses. The second can involve death, but it isn’t the main objective, just a side effect of the true intention.”

“Then following that line of logic my whole deal is from something aligned with flesh? Is that why that word keeps coming up?”

“That's how we understand it, but there’s hints of things that go beyond just a single source of strength. Ancient and incomprehensible beings that when compared to their peers make them seem like specs of dust. Their motives, or even involvement is harder to pin down. Even their existence is highly debatable…”

“Wonder if those are the Eldritch Lords Ken brought up…”

“...It’s not impossible.”

The air was heavy, the weight of that knowledge hanging heavy over me. Made worse by Harris who on his own seemed deep in thought. Could everything I’ve experienced really be boiled down to a simple source? Surely not right…? I can’t fully see how everything connects, if what Ken said was right and all these players are all seeking to end everything… Why not just work together and focus their efforts?  And where does Lucy fit into all of this…?

This is too much, and I left something Harris had said just kind of go completely unaddressed.  Honestly the tension needs cutting, and with everything else going on… the scope of all this is too grand. I can’t really do anything with what I’d just heard right now, especially not in the state I am. For now let’s step back, just go with the stupid question I wanna ask and lighten the air.

“Man…  Can people really teleport?”

He looked at me like I was a goddamn idiot, his head tilting ever so slightly.

“Mills… You’ve done it yourself.”

Huh weird that he’d make shit like that up at a time like this… But why did he look serious?

“...Say again?”

“You went into the other dimension from our portal, and we found you in your house when you finally made it out.”

“Why the hell wasn’t told about that?  It’s not like I meant to do that so it doesn't really count..”

“You started in one place and ended up somewhere else. What else would you call it then”

“Ughhhhhhhhh… hmmm… Well… Why the hell wouldn’t you push training that skill more?! Teleporting places would be so fucking cool!”

“Because the last time we found you and everything around you drenched in blood. A whole hazmat had to come and clean it. 

As useful as it could be, the danger that the foreign material brought along needs looking into. Just another thing on the list of ‘needs further research’. A list you just seem intent on extending to the moon at this rate.”

Jesus christ for a random tangent that sure did hit like a fucking truck. I didn’t really ask how long I was out for after that, did I…? Memory is pretty foggy… I think I asked how long I’d been in there for, but didn’t specifically ask how long I’d been in recovery and tests… Shit I’m not a fan of how quickly stuff is fading from my brain.  Did hanging upside down for so long mess up things? I’ll have to kick the shit out of Sneckdraw a few extra times to make up for that… Ugh Harris is starting I should say something.

“I… Really, really do not have the brain capacity for all of this crap right now, can we get back to the husk thing?  Does Nora really just have only Knocks’ keeping an eye on shit around here?”

“You’ve seen that the halls can change so that’s part of the defenses, but there’s also an complex array of runes made to protect from magical assault… Along with a few other tricks that are better not talked about. So a long list of things that should have been set off before they reached the property even if they were invisible."

“Well there wasn’t anything weird going on with his body, they seemed normal until death like I said. I'm pretty sure they had to have entered either on the roof or the second floor given there was that corpse they shoved away.”

“That’s the other confusing part of all this. Why’d they hide the first body, only to drop it after that point?”

“You actually asking me, or just thinking outloud?”

“The second, but let’s hear your guess.”

I went over everything again in my head trying to sort out what I did and didn’t know. Even the things I just made assumptions about were worth rethinking..

“Hmm, a sweep of the area would have been done regardless but it’s not a bad line of thought. Out of curiosity, what are you sensing now?”

“Uh, I haven't tried since I woke up, give me a sec to focus on it.”

As soon as I went to reach out a wave of searing heat spread out from my mind. I could feel my body screaming in agony, there was no way in hell to ignore it and power through it. Even after I pulled back pain still stuck, and brought on a coughing fit and bloody phlegm. Making it clear a day that, even if I was worse before, my body was still a fucking mess.

“No good… went a tad too far eariler…”

Why did I feel the need to under sell it? My eye is still blurry and struggling to focus. Hell I didn’t even notice Harris had gotten up, till a wad of cool damp paper towels was basically already in my hands.

“I shouldn’t have asked you to do that in that state though it’s good to know for next time. Here your ears are bleeding too, it’s on your neck and hair. Take things slow and don’t mess around with that again until you’re fully healed. Though I doubt I need to tell you that. The potion you were given while you were out will do a lot of the heavy lifting from here on”

“Ha….. Even with the extra help I must have fucked things up real good in there.  At this rate I’ll be spending the rest of my time off in bed…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be compensated in time for all of this. Nora’s not going to forget it, the girl you saved was one of her apprentices.”

“Ugh… You’ll have to tell her to tell that appearance. I'm sorry for all the tests coming her way. Using that trick was the only way I could think of saving her… Hope it doesn’t fuck with her blood too much.”

“You could tell her yourself, she’s still here for the time being.”

“Nah… Knowing her, and that kidney person are still alive is enough. Honestly I think it’d hurt my brain to be around someone with a part of me in them…  It’s better to keep my distance and let them move on with their lives as best they can.”

“It’s a good thing that those senses of yours aren’t working then.”  

The next part came in a low whisper. 

“Because we’ve got rats listening in.”

Slowly he moved towards the door and flung it open, Nora and that woman I saved. Both had obviously just had their ears pressed against the door, almost stumbling over when the support of the door was suddenly stolen from them. 

“Nora, and Charlotte nice of you to join us. You should have knocked.”

“Oh Harry dear, you can just ignore us and go back to what you were talking about.”

The woman named Charlotte was enthusiastically nodding behind Nora. Though it seemed more than anything that her eyes were locked on me. Harris on the other hand had slipped back into his exhausted old man mode. It seems like he lands on that one a lot around Nora, though he ends up smiling when the two of them end up talking. 

“Nora, you know this is classified.”

“This is my factory thank you very much, I deserve to take part in the conversation before everyone gets whisked away by agents and doctors.”

“That’s fine, but why is Char here? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

Char…? Her nickname is a fucking fire pun?  I know everyone uses fake names but really? How’s that not just painfully embarrassing? She ended up being the next to talk,

“I’m fine, better than fine really, Mills might be the best doctor out there.”

“Why is everyone still using my real name here?! I went by Eric for months. We could just use that one.”

Almost in sync Nora and Harris said;

“You don’t look like an Eric.”

Harris continued after that point on his own.

“It’s fine, thanks to your habits the rest of your name is easy enough to keep hidden. Mills just fits, plus it’s quick to yell.”

“I guess so but if it becomes an issue down the line I’m blaming you.”

Nora looked as if she’d been waiting to say something, and when she took out that bone that’d previously been in the killer's neck she got straight to it.

“So where did this come from?”

“Nora! You can’t just steal evidence from a crime scene before-”

“Sure I can, bones fall under usable materials. So Mills care to explain?”

I looked towards Harris, he sighed but gave me a nod.

“Uh I made it out of my blood since my legs were leaking out so much and I needed a weapon.”

“So you can change the state of your blood?”

“Yeah?  I’m pretty sure I mess with anything meat, bone, or blood related inside me. There’s just a lot more blood than anything to work with.”

“How quickly can you do that?”

“Uh… I can’t say that I’ve messed around with it enough to figure it out? It seemed pretty quick though?”

A smile stretched across her lips and an almost mad glint lit up her eyes.

“We’ve got our next project Char.”

“Yes ma’am?  What do you have in mind?”

“I’m picturing water gun, we’ll need to figure out a system to stop blood from congealing so there’s no risk of jamming. With some rune work in order to keep the weight low and the storage capacity high. We can even work in some of that knife that got both of you, and this bone into the hardware.”

“Couldn’t we use a fraction of the blood as fuel for a compression system? If we altered our storage spells to fit it shouldn’t be an issue.”

“We’ll need to do some research to get the numbers right, but that should work.”

They kept going and going, it started seeming like Harris and I weren’t even in the room.  I had to ask him;”

“What the hell is going on?”

“It’s just how they get when they find a project to sink their teeth into.”

“Uh but what's that got to do with them being here?”

Nora answered that one.

“Our way of thanking you. Though don’t expect it soon, art takes time and I plan on this being a masterwork. Harry said you’d used a bat in the past, so you still need a way to attack from a distance. That’s a problem we can solve.

Now.. If you can change your blood then you’d just need to make it into bone fragments either as the ‘gun’ is being fired or just after… I guess you could also change the blood into sinew if you needed a rope you could manipulate too. Maybe that could work like a grappling hook. We’d just need a system of propelling that forward… Along with any other tricks we can think up using your bodily contents.”

“Nora, hun… You’ve been working all night, I know your passion’s been ignited but at least get a little sleep before you get lost in this. Char needs to be checked over by the doctors anyways.”

Harris had brought the two women back down to reality, Nora pouted for a moment before Harris planted a kiss on her cheek. 

“You’ve got all the time you need, so take it easy for a few days, get things in order and then do what you do best.”

“Very charming Harry, but we at least need to do a few sketches and notes before you take away my apprentice. I’ll get my rest after that.” 

Nora patted him on the side of his face and motioned for Char to head out with her. Before that she looked at me again.

“Thanks for what you did! I ran to get help the second I woke up! Hopefully this project can make up for having to leave you there like that.”

“Uh… no problem? I’ll look forward to what you guys come up with, but don’t stress over it. You really don’t have to do all this.”

“Don’t have to, but we want to. So suck it up.”

Nora said that final part with a wink, before both of the women left. For some reason it felt like the pain and exhaustion had caught up to me the second after they left. Harris must have noticed.

“Do you want me to knock you out? It’ll feel and work a lot better than biting the bands did..”

“Want? Not really, but honestly I could use it right about now.”

“It’ll be fine, let others sort this mess out, you've done your part of the job. Rest and we'll talk again when all of this passes.”

It felt wrong… But I never thought I’d appreciate that goddamn needle pressing into my neck.  Things change so fucking quickly these days though. I guess I’m going to end up doing the same..

[myhatisblue]

God this just makes me think of that old 'he asked for no pickles' meme

[myhatisblue]

These are so perfect. And I also don't know how to draw animals, Knocks' hair is based on a cockatiel's but everything else is bs.

needed to get these outta my system before i do anything ever for the rest of time Harris, Mills, Knocks belong 2 @/myhatisblue