#it’s painful to read
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
#I'd rather not clutter the caption so I'll ramble a little in the tags#HitW is short but special to me as it represents and encapsulates some hard life experiences I was going through at the time of its creatio#Ofc in a more metaphorical manner! but. I have been very much enjoying reading people's comments and speculation as its been posting#the interpretations are so meaningful and varied and i love that and really want to encourage anyone to reflect on what it means to them#for me making this comic was a way to process and move past trauma. i feel like it ends anti-climactically but i wanted to be true to#where i thought things were actually going in my life moreso than to veer towards impact. ultimately im glad i managed to finish it#and for it to finish going public right before the new year? maybe i can see this as shedding that old pain in time to become something new#so thank you for reading for supporting and for still being here. lets wake up to 2025 with wind in our sails#Home in the Woods#my art#my comics#original comic#cw guns#cw blood#cw body horror
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I Saw the TV Glow is such a uniquely, devastatingly queer story. Two queer kids trapped in suburbia. Both of them sensing something isn’t quite right with their lives. Both of them knowing that wrongness could kill them. One of them getting out, trying on new names, new places, new ways of being. Trying to claw her way to fully understanding herself, trying to grasp the true reality of her existence. Succeeding. Going back to help the other, to try so desperately to rescue an old friend, to show the path forward. Being called crazy. Because, to someone who hasn’t gotten out, even trying seems crazy. Feels crazy. Looks, on the surface, like dying.
And to have that other queer kid be so terrified of the internal revolution that is accepting himself that he inadvertently stays buried. Stays in a situation that will suffocate him. Choke the life out of him. Choke the joy out of him. Have him so terrified of possibly being crazy that he, instead, lives with a repression so extreme, it quite literally is killing him. And still, still, he apologizes for it. Apologizes over and over and over, to people who don’t see him. Who never have. Who never will. Because it’s better than being crazy. Because it’s safer than digging his way out. Killing the image everyone sees to rise again as something free and true and authentic. My god. My god, this movie. It shattered me.
#i saw the tv glow#I saw the tv glow spoilers#it is SUCH a queer story#the disassociation. the hiding in fiction to feel alive.#the horror of watching time tick by and knowing you’re not who you’re meant to be#the unique paralysis of staying put in hell because it’s safer than what might be over the horizon#the tragedy of trying to help someone who isn’t ready to be helped#god it’s so much. god. rarely do I walk out of a film and just stare soundlessly into space#anyway. please see this movie. although I sort of hope if you’re reading this post it’s cuz you already have#eta: I used he because the main character never quite vocalizes another pronoun#but this is SUCH a trans story. suuuuch a trans story. it is not even a little subtle#it’s so good and so so painful
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x08 - “Killing is a Cycle” ↳ "Some people are really misunderstanding the dialogue before the scene in the cell" | (essay link)
#please read the essay it made me appreciate it more when i read it#also sorry not much gifs today sadly im too busy for the next few days but i will post at least two sets a day#arcane#arcaneedit#wlwedit#caitvi#piltover's finest#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#vi#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#league of legends#type: gif#media: arcane#s2 ep9#gonna try to make some 8k wallpapers tomorrow#god coloring this was so painful enjoy
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my main advice for writing an enemies to lovers relationship is to resist the urge to make the characters' loathing and attraction mutually exclusive opposing forces. it's okay if they're getting weirdly into it and having Thoughts whilst also sincerely wanting to kill each other with hammers.
#🐉#read some really good [redacted to avoid maintags] fics lately where theyre like#'yeah i used to pray for you to die badly and in pain. but i also wanted to have nasty fight sex with you in the meantime.'#thats what its all about <3
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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yandere! husband who’s so fucking in love with you that even dreaming about kissing another person makes him wake up in cold sweat, rushing to the bathroom to wash his lips raw.
funny how even as he proceeded to surround himself with water, only the guilt drowned him.
#i read that one gojo fic called infidelity#immediately stopped when he kissed another woman#i wanna know how it ends but it’s too painful for me to read#fuck man#i need comfort#hns.txt💬#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagine#yandere fic#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader#yandere core#yandere husband#male husband
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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🪶⛑️ preening ......
hi buildermonners . not too satisfied w the Composition but ^_<*+]×( Ok? ok
#somewhat Based on a fic. even gods feel pain by hivebl00d .....#READ IT READ IT READ IITIITTTTTTT#roblox#my art#roblox art#roblox fanart#roblox admin#roblox hq#builderman#builderman roblox#shedletsky#telamon roblox#forsaken roblox#buildermon#builderman x shedletsky
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Pa-tro-clus: the syllables rang
#guess who's been reading the song of achilles#the song of achilles#patrochilles#achilles#patroclus#tsoa patroclus#tsoa achilles#tsoa#screaming crying throwing up#i've chosen pain and that's on me
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metaphor prologue
#metaphor refantazio#metaphor: refantazio#metaphor#personal#yes i am ripping sprites to make shitposts. i know my priorities#also if you are reading this no i do not have a link rn theyre time consuming to splice together#the format is just different enough from p5 that tools made for that game dont work#and i cant find any parameter data that i know what to do with#so i cant tell exactly which combinations of bases and expressions are actually used without literally combing gameplay#also blush + hands on some characters is gonna be a pain in the ass. so we'll see#anyway i might toss them over to the megaten wiki as i go. if that would be helpful#best of
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some narutos o(-( !
recycled those doodles i did just before of rin, i had insomnia aha poor rin ended up in color with the most miserable pose gjjgjghjk
#kakashi#naruto#gai#sasuke#neji#sakura#rin#obito#omoi#tenten#stuff i draw#digital#ball point pen#(in 'read more')#suffering from period pain again ouaghhhhhhhhhhh
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House MD depicts an autistic who has gotten insanely good at reading people and is just in too much pain to use it for social engineering much beyond his weird little pranks and machinations. my dad is this type of autist, i think of it as the Frasier Crane type as opposed to the Star Trek type. you know. capable of being jocular, jovial, charming, even seductive, but it requires so much bandwidth its still extremely taxing. i have been telling you on this blog for ten years that it is in your best interests to become jocular. it will stun you how much better you are at reading people than the majority of neurotypicals. there's no reason for them to get good at it when they dont even know what there is to get good at. microexpressions are real and i can see them
#blog#autism#of course you dont know whats going on you cant see anyones face!!! thats where all the information is#youre bad at reading people because it causes you physical pain to look someone in the eyes so of course youve had 1/1000th of the practice#this is due to the information overload#grit your teeth through it#they cant tell youre not smiling
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I feel like @sloaners fic, Akatsuki Babysitter's Club is such a classic naruto fic, definitely up there in "the fics most ever" but I can recognize Im possibly biased and projecting my own experience w the fic onto the fandom
Either way, it's a classic in my heart <3
Anyways I re-read it yesterday, and it was just as much of a riot as the first time I read it. Then I laid down to sleep and stared at the ceiling then shot up and immediatley went to my tablet and the next thing I knew it was 8 am and I hadn't slept at all, but I did make this cute comic for the fic, so !!!
#theres totally some inconsistancies w how theyre dressed and how theyre supposed to look at the age the fic takes place#but by the time I realized that I was already almost done. so. I shrimply didnt care enough to backtrack#the fic is seriously great tho#fr go read it if u havent#great comedy#love it#birds fanart#naruto#akatsuki#mikoto uchiha#uchiha mikoto#kakashi hatake#hatake kakashi#uchiha obito#obito uchiha#konan#pain nagato#konan naruto#hidan#hidan akatsuki#orochimaru#tsunade#senju tsunade#tsunade senju#jiraiya#jiriya naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto fanart#comic#hiruzen sarutobi
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You watch him hem and haw over answering, feet shifting, same beat up black shoes, scuffing the gravel, cape swishing behind him in a one-two step. The halo of his hair, bleached eery white in the street lamp, how the light never seems to catch the rim of his shades. You missed this, you think. The bits of him that are so unsettlingly inhuman, how he's so close to you, but just far enough that you couldn't reach to touch. - Metempsychosis
#dave strider#bro strider#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hi here is my official pitch 2 get yall 2 read this fic#its good#dave n bros interactions in this are just.................... so good and painful............................ :')c#<3#my art#art#homestuck fanfiction#homestuck fanfic#there is a good chance ill do more art based on this fic.................. and their other one(the run and go)
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“It's an old Crow tradition. The exchanging of paired daggers when you are to be joined in marriage.”
Inspired by the magnificent @cosmiccrushes fic Contract Negotiations!
Vivienne and Lucanis’s daggers in all their glory!

Vivienne remains painfully Vint and thus requires snake motifs on everything and of course, opals for the eyes to match THE RING!!!
#I had to paraphrase that quote for the sake of caption brevity but please go read the fic that conversation is written so well in it#thinking of him fidgeting with the dagger on his chest when he and Rook are apart#lord I need to lay down this one has me feeling emotions about these two#I still don’t know under what circumstances Lucanis would propose to Rook#all I know is that man has never planned anything in his damn life so it would most certainly have been on the fly#also next time I want to draw Lucanis in armour just go ahead and beat me up in an alley#it would be less painful#also fun fact this fic was the first rookanis fic I ever read and it is v dear to my heart because of it#dragon age veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#datv#rookanis#lucanis x rook#rook#lucanis dragon age#rook dragon age#rook mercar#Vivienne rook mercar#my art#dragon age fanart
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dead boy detectives reading list
with the show finally out i figured it was a great time to share my reading list again! check it out below the cut 👻☠️🔎

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⏳ the sandman #25 (1991)
this is their first appearance!

🐇 the children's crusade (1993)/free country: a tale of the children's crusade (2015)
1. the children's crusade #1
(2. black orchid annual #1
3. animal man annual #1
4. swamp thing annual #7
5. doom patrol annual #2
6. arcana annual #1)
7. the children's crusade #2
alternatively you can just read free country. whether or not you read the annuals i recommend reading free country's middle chapter
!!! in place of the annuals there is an additional middle chapter that was created for the book "free country: a tale of the children's crusade" where it is placed between the two children's crusade issues. the boys don't actually appear in most of the annuals (they are in two panels of swamp thing and appear in doom patrol) and reading them isn't necessary but i figured i would include them as they are part of the story.

❄️ winter's edge #3 (2000)
this is an anthology. their part is the 'books of magic: waiting for good dough' story starting on page 19

🐦⬛ the sandman presents: the dead boy detectives (2001, 4 issues)
i believe the tv show's esther finch was partially based on this run's villain.
*
(they do have a part in 'death: at death's door' from 2003. it's short and really just a retelling of events from sandman #25 with some minor changes. the entirety of their appearance in death: at death's door is included at the end of the next comic im listing so i am not really adding the death: at death's door book to the list)

☠️ the dead boy detectives (2005, one-shot)
this book was made by jill thompson in a very cute manga-esque style

👻 ghosts (2012), time warp (2013), the witching hour (2013)
these three are anthologies. the story 'the dead boy detectives in: run ragged' runs through all of them. 'run ragged' kicks off the next run.

🔮 from the pages of the sandman: dead boy detectives (2013, 12 issues)
this is the comic where crystal is introduced! a book collecting all 12 issues titled 'dead boy detectives by toby litt & mark buckingham' was released in 2023

🔎the sandman universe: dead boy detectives (2022, 6 issues)
the most recent run, centered around some really interesting thai mythology and featuring multiple edwin moments that i am sure you will love
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and that's everything! i also recommend buying the omnibus if you can. it includes everything minus the 2022 run plus some additional bonus content!

i hope this is helpful! feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the comics. dead boy detectives is my number one interest so i should be able to answer
have fun reading! 👻
#dead boy detectives#the sandman#the sandman universe#comics#reading list#edwin paine#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#painland#paynland#i really hope i didnt mess up while making this post fjdkfkjdkf
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