#it’s only been a month and a half !!!! THIS IS INSANE
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"Well, that's just undignified," says a familiar voice to the little girl she's been watching run the gamut of making Park Friends for the last three minutes. She runs straight into his legs and raises her arms, and it looks automatic, the way he swings her up and wipes at her face with a wet wipe he just whipped out of a back pocket. "How is anyone gonna recognize you the next time we come to this park?"
(Abby had watched her reach down and streak a solid line of mud down both cheeks a minute and a half ago and just been thankful that she'd missed those years, with Sam's kids.)
He's the same. He's - entirely different.
The smile on his face reaches his eyes in a way she's never seen, and some of the lines around his mouth are deeper. He holds himself differently and she can't pinpoint exactly what it is. He looks settled in his skin.
Of all the parks in all of LA, she thinks to herself, and then she remembers their friend Gertie telling her about the house Tommy had bought that most of them had assumed was a cry for help. A real fixer-upper, she'd said, an ironic lilt to her voice, a wry half smile because she'd gotten Abby in the divorce. As it were.
(Hadn't stopped her from gossiping like a bored housewife about Abby and Buck, eighteen months later, but at least she'd been able to spot Gertie's handiwork when she'd fielded no less than nine concerned texts about her himbo.)
It's a beautiful day. A little breezy, but the sun is warm, the sky is free of clouds.
It feels a little ridiculous that she's here to catch up with one ex only to encounter the one who'd sent her straight into his arms. It had made sense at the time. She'd given herself the time to get over a man who could never have loved her the way either of them wanted to, and then latched on to the first boyishly handsome one she could find. She'd never meant to care for Buck, in the end. It'd happened, because he was easy to love, but -
She'd just never meant to.
Sam's gonna laugh at her so long she's gonna smother him with a hotel pillow.
She sees him first, long legs clambering out of a newer model Jeep, the bronze in his hair catching in a way she doesn't remember. It takes her a second to realize he'd always just kept his hair too short for the curls to be this pronounced.
Abby's a married woman. She loves Sam dearly. She's also well aware that there's no harm in looking, sometimes, and she's certainly looking now. He'd looked more bulky the last time she'd seen him, filling out his shirt in a way that Abby knew he had to be proud of, as insane as his workouts were, as weird as his diet trends always seemed. This is different. More. His shoulders are insane. The long legs actually look almost proportional with his thighs so thick. She can see a newer tattoo peeking out from under the shirt he wears. The style's changed too, she notes empirically - a tee-shirt that's not actually tearing at the seams to contain him, a flannel he's shrugging out of to tie around his waist.
He glances up and catches her eye and the smile that stretches across his face is friendly, unbothered. Still beautiful enough to turn a few heads in her direction when he holds up a hand to wave.
"Daddy!" screams the girl, now sans mud, and Abby watches in confusion as she books it across the cork path of the playground, beelining it towards Buck.
Buck holds a hand out at groin height and grunts when all her weight catches him at the knees.
The rest of the picture pieces together slowly, while Abby attempts to keep her jaw from falling open. Tommy ambles after the girl, casual, smiling, and when he gets there he dips a hand into the riot of curls atop her head, ruffling. He slides a hand to Buck's waist, casual, comfortable, the same way Sam taps at her hip when he wants a kiss. Buck's hand lifts briefly to Tommy's elbow before he bends to greet the girl, and even though they're farther away now it's obvious she's giving him a full rundown of what he's missed.
When Buck can get a word in edgewise, he tips his head towards Abby, and the girl spins on her heel and practically marches over to the bench in the shade Abby has chosen.
Buck and Tommy follow after her as a unit.
"Hi!" She's all Buck. Fat cheeks and gangly limbs and sky blue eyes, enthusiasm leaking out of every pore. "I'm Mary!"
Tommy's grandmothers name. She'd never had a full picture why she was the only member of his family Tommy spoke of fondly - not til the end, anyway.
She's desperate to know why the hell Buck hadn't said something to her about this in advance, but - no, it's too crazy to just take on faith. She'd have needed to see it.
They have matching rings on their left hands.
Abby is suddenly sorry she deactivated her Facebook years ago.
She hasn't spoken to Gertie in three years. She's absolutely going to eat this up.
Abby reaches out to shake Mary's already extended hand. It's a firm shake - up, down, squeeze and drop, something she remembers from the time Tommy had helped her prep for job interviews and become exasperated by her limp noodle arms.
Buck and Tommy loom over her. They don't mean to. Both of them have a good way of putting people at ease about their size pretty quickly, and it happens now, again, as Tommy shifts his weight and Buck leans down and in to drop a hand to his daughter's shoulder. Tommy and Buck, she thinks to herself. Buck and Tommy.
It's not hard to square, if she really takes a moment. They were both desperately lonely people, when she knew them, but so so full of love. Too full, even when one of them hadn't even been attracted to her. It's leaking out of them even now, as Tommy gives her a wry smile and Buck rubs a hand behind his neck.
It takes Abby a second to clock it as a Tommy gesture. "Hi," she says in greeting, and then dissolves into laughter a second later.
Mary joins in even though there's no way she understands why.
"The ambush was Evan's idea," Tommy intones, the smile still warm and uncareful around the edges of his eyes, when Abby finally gets herself under control. Mary has already returned to treating Tommy like a jungle gym. Abby quirks a brow at the name, shoots a look at Buck. He smiles back bashfully, blissfully unaware of the way he blooms under Tommy's gaze
"I didn't think you'd believe me."
Mary's knee knocks uncomfortably close to Tommy's groin as he swings her back and forth on one massive arm, and he barely blinks, though he does shift his weight again to limit the possibility of another limb taking him out. Abby stands. Hands out hugs. Despite how rambunctious she is with Tommy, Mary is careful to keep herself in check while Abby is in the direct path of her limbs.
"It's easier to believe than you might think," she tells Buck, and wonders if Gertie would be more or less inclined to forgive Tommy knowing that he and Abby have essentially the same type.
"You wanna grab a drink?" Buck asks after a moment, hand reaching casually for Tommy's hip. "There's a spot around the corner that makes a mean oolong. That's your drink, right?"
God. He really hasn't changed a bit. Memory for useless but meaningful detail, an open heart, that overeager tilt to his smile. Tommy's got a yapping kid half hanging off his belt loop and he still has the fortitude to send a glance at Buck like he's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
If she's gonna reach out to Gertie, she'll need to be prepared for the Spanish Inquisition. This is a full interrogation piece of gossip.
"I'd love that," she says, and Buck's grin splits at the seams while Mary and Tommy have a friendly if heated back and forth about what sort of drink Mary is allowed.
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#tevan fic#outsider pov#the only way out is through#i remind myself every time i try to wrap my brain around TM actually using the abby x tommy crack!spec#abby clark
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The Lies We Tell
***FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE***
Summary that tells you nothing: Sometimes everything you ever wanted has been right there, within reach, all along.
CW/TW: Angst, fluff, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, smut, fingering, PinV, pet names, friends with benefits, more to come as I actually get things written out.
Masterlist
Apologies and Heartbreak
Quinn lay there in the dark, watching as the clock ticked over to 1am. She had been in bed for hours, desperate for sleep yet unable to. It was too quiet in the house. Usually there was the telltale sounds of everyone downstairs. Random shouts, usually followed by the boys laughing. The sound of a cupboard door closing. Water running in the kitchen as someone rinsed their dishes.
They had been gone all day, hard at work in the studio. Their brief little respite after touring done before it was back to the grind. It was funny how quickly she got used to those sounds and missed them as soon as they were gone. Might as well get used to it now. It was only a few weeks out to their next tour. Then it would be another two months of silence. They seemed to always be touring these days. Or always in the studio. Sometimes she missed the days when there was more time to just hang out. When all of them could spend lazy days at the beach, or head up north for a weekend.
A soft knock at her door interrupted her thoughts. Weird. She hadn't heard anybody come home. Normally it was chaos when they walked in. Her hand slowly reached to her nightstand, searching for anything she could use to defend herself. Everything was locked up. She was certain of it. It had to be one of the guys letting her know they were home. Had to be.
"Quinn? You awake?"
Noah.
"Come in," she called out, scooting over to make room for him in her bed.
The soft click of her door opening and closing, followed quickly by her bed dipping as he slid into her bed beside her. She couldn't see him but knew by the way he moved that he was exhausted. One long arm slid underneath her, the other wrapping around her to pull her into him, those same arms locking her in place. Carefully she reached up, trailing her fingers down his face. Of all the things she missed, she missed this most of all. These quiet moments with her best friend.
"I'm sorry, Quinn." His voice was barely above a whisper.
"What for?"
"I shouldn't have ghosted you like that. I kind of, uh, panicked. I shouldn't have done any of the shit I've done." He sighed, his breath fanning across her face. "I can't lose you, Quinn."
Brow furrowed she pulled back slightly, willing her eyes to actually just fucking adjust to the dark. She could just barely make out the outline of his features. Apologizing for the weird attempt at hiding from her was one thing. But the rest? When she was a willing participant? That was a bit insane to her.
"Yeah. You shouldn't have tried to disappear on me over a fucking kiss. We live together, dumb ass. Did you really think that was going to work out for you?"
"Like I said. I panicked."
"Okay. So, maybe don't do that again? I don't know what to tell you, dude."
"Quinn."
"Noah."
"You're doing that thing where you ignore half of what I said again."
Quinn shrugged. The best she could, anyway. It was a little difficult with how tightly he was holding onto her. Noah wanted to talk about it, but she wasn’t ready to. Nor was she ready for the inevitable “it won’t happen again” part of that talk. That was too much like a full on rejection, and a girl could only take so much before she snapped.
“Doesn’t need to be talked about, Noah. It happened. It’s fine. I’m a big girl that knows how to say no.”
Noah was quiet after that. So quiet she was certain he had fallen asleep. There would come a point where it had to be talked about. She knew that. Even with him not trying to hide from her anymore things were different. Almost like he was distancing himself entirely. But yet, here he was, in her bed at 1am like nothing had happened and everything was totally normal. Everything was confusing. He was confusing.
“I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, squeezing her just a little tighter. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her throat constricted and she swallowed, desperate to shove down the urge to cry the more he talked. Sometimes she wished he could just take the hint and shut the fuck up.
“Go to sleep, Noah,” she whispered, not quite trusting her voice. What a fucking mess.
Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @mrscevans @supersquirrel1996
#bad omens fanfiction#bad omens angst#bad omens fic#noah sebastian angst#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fluff#noah sebastian smut#smut#angst#fluff
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!!! omg additions I am falling over myself @ you rn actually
I think they first find out ab the massacre from Sasuke, and its like a huge shock but they dont have a reason to not believe his story about Itachi being the perpetrator-- especially because no one has actually mentioned Itachi's age, so to them he's painted as just this mystery monster figure
There are a lot of monster's in early konoha, Hashirama and Madara are some well known ones, and it's not too much of a stretch for them to believe that one strong enough to wipe out his entire clan might exist
(Later on they meet Itachi and the Nara, Shiruka, is squinting in the bg counting on her fingers before squinting even harder and muttering, "13...??" From there, suspicions start to bloom)
Actually I think their outsider POV on Itachi is so fun-- they do not know the guy and Sasuke is totally building up the mythos so hard rn, even just by silently hating him so furiously.
The early konoha babs are speculating so hard ab what he must be like, they finally find a bingo book and all crowd around it to squint at the man who wiped out the Uchiha and are a little shocked that he's so young
they come from an era where clan is everything, even more so than it is now, so Itachi really did do the ultimate evil in their eyes. They are disgusted !!
(and when they inevitably find out the truth, oh man)
I think overall they're kind of terrified/disgusted by the fate of the clans. They're ofc heavily biased due to, again, clans being everything in their time. They've only been in Konoha for like, 3 or 4 years now, so they're kind of being confronted with both the pros and cons of the village in an era where they've clearly prospered-- but at a steep price.
Mmmm discussions ab if its worth it,, snaps of "Easy for you to say, your clan still exists!" time spent traveling between villages marveling about how easier it is, when the land isn't divided into factions,, overall admiration for the many little ways the villages have clearly benefited overall society while still acknowledging the heavy toll and power they now hold over their own "normal" ways of life,,,,
KAKASHI BEING SENT ON THE WORST RETRIEVAL MISSION OF HIS LIFE MY BELOVED, HE WANTS TO GO HOME AND SLEEP FOR A YEAR
This entire month is officially in the rankings for some of the worst months of his life. Not the worst. Never the worst. That can't be beat. But man, it somehow just keeps getting worse.
He's going insane actually bc where did these people come from? How does he have any clan left? He knows nothing of the Hatake, his dad died before he could be taught anything substantial about his clan, so this is a lot for him on multiple levels.
I think we deserve a scene where he catches up to him and he and the Hatake fight, but like half playful and while talking ab clan things the entire time.
It's weirdly friendly, and the twins keep trying to guess who his parents were and if they know them. Kakashi finally drops it was Sakumo and they go a little insane bc omg !!! That must make you our future clan head that's soooo cool!! (Sakumo was the son of the previous clan head, but the clan died when he was too little to receive the title of heir and he never took up the mantle-- he possibly never even knew he was meant to)
Kakashi did NOT know this information and will need a few days to process. Thanks.
Kakashi really is like catnip to the time travelers actually, they are harassing Sasuke for information about him as Sasuke goes ??? why do you want to know ab HIM???
I think Kakashi gets sent to try and capture them with a team but they should totally get to like. Capture him instead, somehow. His orders were vague enough that he can go "well. I mean. contact established successfully, so...?" and allow this to happen (before eventually escaping)
OROCHIMARU ACCIDENTALLY TRICKING HIMSELF INTO CARING IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER!!!
I think they'd have a very hard time of doing this especially since he's near the height of his insanity here, but I mean, if nothing else they really do have the ultimate distraction-- a long lost cousin with ties and extensive stories of Orochimaru's own long dead clan, and also literal time travel, which I'm sure Orochimaru will be all over
Orochimaru treating them like cows before a slaughter is so good actually, thats a perfect way to allow him to care somewhat while still having his own goals, love that!
I need Orochimaru hating bugs comedy just bc Orochinatsu really really likes them, and will often spend hours watching them. They're both making a face and quietly going maybe we arent related after all...? While also looking near identical
Jealous Kabuto is so funny, I love that idea. HES Orochimaru's special little guy, where tf did this long lost cousin of his come from?? I think he should get to have a positive interaction with Orochinatsu and, bc he looks similar to Orochimaru, have an instinctive positive reaction to him before getting really mad ab it bc his brain keeps sending mixed signals of Orochimaru is being nice to you! Wait, no, fuck, it's the other guy >:(
I think the Hatake twins would be a big fan of Suigetsu and Jugo actually, they are chaotic and like to fight and I wish to see ✨friendship✨
Haru, who is genuinely kind of mean and also a fan of violence, thinks Suigetsu should get to have murder, as a treat
Hiro, who is the one who got them into this mess by tampering with the time travel seal, finds Jugo super interesting and may or may not poke him with a stick at first to see what happens and if he goes crazy. Umm something something wolf clan something something animals liking Jugo something something idk is there anything there? That could be kinda funny
If all the time travelers are getting to bond with a member of team Taka then I think Shiruka and Karin should get to interact too. Shiruka is not a mednin and knows only basic first aid but she doesn't need to know any of that to be impressed with the advancements of the future, and I think Karin would appreciate having a captive audience interested in what she has to say
THEM PICKING UP NARUTO IS ALSO FUNNY BC LIKE. They. Do not know what a jinchuriki is. Chakra beasts are legends to them, but also they live in an era where yokai are widely accepted to exist (and probably do, considering chakra beasts also do)
Madara hasn't betrayed the village yet in their time, the kyuubi hasn't been sealed in Mito yet, their interactions with yokai is one of fear and respect they are taught to consider daily
If you tell them Naruto is a jinchuriki, you will recieve blank stares.
If you tell them he is a vessel of a demon fox you will receive a mixed reactions of leaning away cautiously going "someone put a DEMON in that guy? Why???" and leaning forward curiously saying the exact same thing
Oh god, Kakashi's sharingan
Bloodline theft was THE ultimate no-no taboo of the warring states era, they're going to react very badly to it. Someone better explain the situation (someone other than Kakashi tbh, bc they can't reliably believe the word of a bloodline thief to explain that he's innocent. Of course he'll say he's innocent!) to them or else Kakashi is at risk of someone attempting to gouge his eye out for justice on the Uchiha's behalf
@ohai-there YEAHH THEY LITERALLY CAME OUT OF NOWHERE THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS
Maybe if they'd just asked where they came from nicely they'd have answered 💅
Konoha teams sent after them (including Kakashi) finally catch up and Kakashi asks and they just straight up go "Huh? Oh time travel, yeah, wild right?" And Kakashi just. Does not believe them. Assumes he's being fucked with.
Incredibly self indulgent 'early konoha kids get zapped into canon right after Hiruzen is killed' au..... save me incredibly self indulgent 'early konoha kids get zapped into canon right after Hiruzen is killed' au ,,,,
This is so stupid but I'm embracing the cringe.
POV a Nara an Orochi and 2 Hatake twins fuck around and find out with one of Tobirama's seals (that one of the Hatake's definitely stole) when they really really shouldn't and get zapped to Konoha
Immediate glaring problem: the Orochi clan is incredibly recognizable. They all look very similar. And Orochimaru is the only one left in modern era and also just killed the Hokage in front of a fuck ton of people, like, last week. And is also a known body hopper so any minor differences in appearance can be very easily waved away.
They don't even realize smthn went wrong at first bc they were fucking around way on the outskirts of town to avoid being caught playing with things they shouldn't, and when they return to town they take the back ways around so they don't even notice the new buildings n stuff
They all just kinda shrug and call it a day after the seal explodes on them (and poke at the Hatake who's genius idea it was to play with the seal, who is also the only one of them currently throwing up in the grass due to the seal backlash) and split off to go home
"Did it hurt?" Haru cheerfully prodded his brothers cheek with his finger. "Do you feel sick?" He gave him another poke. "Do you feel stupid?" At this poke, Hiro let out a low grumble. "You look pretty stupid."
Only, in going home, the Hatake's return to a ruined, falling appart clan compound that suitably freaks them out
The Nara to a house that looks somewhat the same (with some changes to the garden) but has a new family in it who yells at her in confusion when she apparently breaks in and chases her away
And the Orochi, the only one of them to go run errands before heading home, is immediatley mistaken for Orochimaru and tackled by like 10 ANBU agents at once while trying to buy groceries (the weeping shopkeep is very relieved. The Orochi meanwhile, is very confused)
Prison break time !! The Nara and Hatake twins very messily break out their friend, who then refuses to leave without retrieving their gourd, which was taken to evidence (and is an important clan artifect and weapon) so the escape gets even messier
They may have tried to clear up any misunderstandings but that was before their Orochi buddy got put in prison under threat and schedule of torture, so they decide to fuck off from the village in hopes of creating some distance
(There's a lot of conflict on Konoha's side, behind the curtains and higher up, from some who had interacted w Orochinatsu, who do not believe them to be Orochimaru. And those who interacted w them and do. And Danzo, who wants them dead and or in his hands either way, who is also kind of in charge rn bc Sarutobi's fucking dead)
So they retreat real hard and real fast and knock right into Sasuke actually, who's in the middle of trying to defect to sound.
Oh also it's to note that the warring states guys are all 17-18, so they (read:the Hatake twins) see Sasuke and are like "oh the ittle baby wishes to commit treason? That's so cut— whO taught him that ????? (Chidori) WHY CANT I DO THAT I WANT TO DO THAT ???????"
Anyways they somehow join Sasuke on his little trip to sound— They hear Orochimaru and think of the Orochimaru of their time (the name is a title passed down through Orochi clan heads) and they also, now somewhat aware of the time travel, think of the (literal this time) baby Oro they occasionally babysit together, and who is Orochinatsu's baby cousin (who is, yes, the Orochimaru of this time)
They get to Sound and Orochimaru is like "???? Ayo ????" for MULTIPLE reasons, this entire thing fascinates him
Omg Sasuke u brought him a gift ?? Ur such a good guest!
Unfortunately for them tho, Orochinatsu is also like. Literally the most perfect body he could ask for, actually. They look really similar, the kid is young and strong and healthy, plus also very talented (annoyingly to the others, one of the most skilled among their generation in early konoha) they already have a snake contract, and best of all they're literally directly biologically related to Orochimaru, which could seriously help the body snatching procedure, etc.
Unsure where it goes from there, they might tuck Sasuke under their arm and book it, maybe even promise to help w his Itachi problem, idk I'm just having fun spinning around in circles in a chair daydreaming ab silly stupid oc time travel aus
Staring at a wall telling myself to embrace the cringe ,,, I earned it,, tis my birthright to make unasked for naruto oc content ,,
#!!!! I love these silly little guys so much#Im happy yall like them ??#my blorbos...#birds fic talk#naruto#kakashi hatake#hatake oc#nara oc#orochi oc#orochimaru#hatake kakashi#sasuke uchiha#uchiha sasuke#team taka#yakushi kabuto#kabuto yakushi#time travel
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Bloodborne Diluc returns
#it’s been too long#sorry this is the only art I have to offer#my only objective the past few months has been to survive and we are barely doing that#one and a half more months of teaching then I’m free for a little bit#these kids are insane#why did they offer me a phys ed position 4 days in to my practicum 😭#fuck my stupid baka life#that is neither my major nor minor#anyway bloodborne diluc will save me#diluc#my art#genshin impact#genshin#bloodborne
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it's so insane to me how even in 2020 people were shitting on lance even though out of all the races he finished in that season he only finished out of the points ONCE.
out of 11 races he completed he got points for 10.
in the austrian gp lance lost power and dnf (not his fault ofc)
in the styrian gp lance finished 7th (qualified 13th)
in the hungarian gp lance finished 4th (qualified 3rd)
in the british gp lance finished 9th (qualified 6th)
in the anniversary gp lance finished 6th (same in quali)
in the spanish gp lance finished 4th (qualified 5th)
in the belgian gp lance finished 9th (same in quali)
in the italian gp lance finished 3rd (qualified 8th)
in the tuscan gp lance got a puncture and dnf (he was doing amazing, having gotten from 7th up to 3rd-5th before a nasty crash)
in the russian gp lance spun out (this race was so insane, like 3 incidents in the first 3 corners)
in the eifel gp nico raced for lance (he had covid)
in the portugal gp lance dnf (early contact with lando, basically ruined his race)
in the emilia gp lance finished 13th (qualified 15th, only time he finished out of points)
in the turkish gp lance finished 9th (qualified 1st, very wet race)
in the bahrain gp lance dnf (he flipped, scary crash in a scary race)
in the sakhir gp lance finished 3rd (qualified 10th)
in abu dahbi lance finished 10th (qualified 8th)
to summarize, lance isn't as bad as people say he is ur just mad his dad actually loves him >-<
#if u know anything abt me and my blog#yk half my time is spent going over old f1 stuff#(because ive only been a fan for a few months)#basically#they could never make me hate you lance stroll#yes i am defending this nepo baby#what abt it#hes MY nepo baby#f1#formula 1#lance stroll#aston martin#ls18#2020#racing point#lance stroll my goat#i love him#im rambling#im going insane dont mind me#yapping#im a pro at it#d1 yapper
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I love receiving a passive-aggressive text message every time I use the only kitchen on this earth I have physical access to. I love having the options of 'put herculean effort into appearing not to exist' or 'be scolded daily for eating'
#its not even your hooooouuuuussssee#oh yeah totally leave your half smoked joints all over the counter and change your cats' litter box 1x a week#even though it's in a common room but no Im the gross one for like putting a dish on a different counter than usual#im just overreacting bc im off my meds rn but christ i need a job so bad ive been crying every day ab staying here#and remy is driving me insane bc hes stir crazy bc hes still only allowed in 2 rooms bc certain people seem to think letting him meet their#cats will encourage us to stay here longer or something - as if id want to spend 1 extra millisecond with that garbage attitude#ugh#posts a vent and leaves for months again. im sorry everyone i also wish i had my shit together
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.
Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?
Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.
Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.
#source: me#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#tw: drug mention#tw: drugs#i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model#now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now#i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted#and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh#like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open#anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk#felt like i had to make that clear
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q!bbh and q!foolish is enemies to lovers without the lovers do you understand me
#i think this is their vibe outside of qsmp as well but im gonna be real my dsmp knowledge is somewhat limited#i only got into it in the middle of last year and i could only catch up on so many vods. i watched hundreds of hours back to back#to be fair ive also been doing that with qsmp to catch up and im so close. im like a month and a half behind#i have watched hundreds of hours. my autism is fucjing insane. you dont understand#what was i sayibg#qsmp#landduo
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i have the type of adhd that makes me try aggressively harder until it consumes me when it’s extremely difficult to acquire medication, instead of giving up because phone calls scary
#an hour and a half of my work day has been dedicated to this#honestly at this point it’s out of spite i take like 10mg twice a day#some insane part of me is like ‘oh there’s a shortage? this bullshit is def making other ppl with adhd give up but i am the alpha’#‘and i will persist and acquire the limited resource’#is this the medication or just my personality and the way i’ve developed with condition? who can say#but i’m not going to be beaten here#i will choose to go off of it but only if i genuinely think it’s the right call#and not bc i’m unwilling to do what i need to do to get it#only allowed to refill the day i run out every single month? i’ve got it hand me the phone and calendar#insurance changing coverage guidelines? doctor’s appointment made to get prior authorization or otherwise change dosage#widespread shortage? i will call every pharmacy in the area to figure out who has it this month#and call my doctor’s office as many times asking them to send it there#until they get it right after two inevitable failures#all in the same 7 hour period bc i’m legally only allowed to fill it when i’m literally about to be out of it#all while i have FUCKING ADHD
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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finished rewatching rtd era. literally took me uhm. two and a half months. in fucking shambles rn
#also 1.5 months of that were just season 4 eps. they're so. hngh.#it took me this long coz i can only watch like 1 rtd ep a day 2 at most. they're all so hdhdhdhd;;;; yknow..#the way it makes me cry HARDER every single time i watch it is fucking insane#like how am i getting WORSE. I've been watching it for like half my life at this point 😭#most miserable little guy ever created... houghhhhhgfhfhf☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#I've been putting this ep off coz i needed to watch it on a day where i had the#energy to spend an hour or two crying so hard i get nauseous but I've been busy and tired 24/7 for months#uni and work and friends taking precious time away from my REAL job (being insane abt some guy on my screen)#dw lb#doctor who
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bitching abt my job again
tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia
#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind#for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at#and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years#only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down#despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down#so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen#and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it#and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first#--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl#bc of course they dont give a shit about the library#they just care about how scary the queers are#and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town#and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time#(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the#--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting#the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display#its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages#talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w#--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens#sourse: i was one of tgose#and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk#and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look#--elsewhere#bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater#--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education#i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too#but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in#--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on
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#i KNOW my mental health is down the drain because i woke up panicking at 4:30am for seemingly no good reason#and that was half an hour ago and i still can't go back to sleep#and i've been feeling exhausted and on the edge about switching from this dual deal of education and job training#to a full time 8 to 5 deal#for the past 2 months#kept saying that i need a break soon or i'm gonna burn out but also kept pushing myself through daily sensory overload because#i kept telling myself that there are only a couple few weeks left of this and i can do it#and now there's exactly one week left of it all until i finally get a month off and i need to do my best to keep myself from tossing it all#out the window#because i'm worried about not being able to keep up with a full time job i now signed a three year contract for#considering this half time deal already took everything out of me#it's super frustrating because for a while there i really thought i'm on top of my shit but now i'm showing symptoms of an impending#mental breakdown and i have a month to get all of this under control somehow or i'm gonna blow my chance at a job i've been working my ass#off for the past six months to a) get it in the first place and b) earn important certificates for it#and a month is just not enough to get an appointment with a counselor who i can talk to about this#and once i'm working i'll hardly have any time left for appointments considering the insane amount of time i'll be spending commuting#to work every day because i didn't yet receive the bonus payment towards a car i was promised for my efforts here#genuinely wish i had someone i could rely on during times like these but i am basically providing for my entire environment and i just#gotta keep going somehow idk#rant#gonna try to get another half an hour of sleep in now i guess
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love this website <33
(its here if you wanna give it a shot)
#i tend to do this like once a year just to see what my new insult is#i love it its awesome#somehow my taste in music has gotten more obscure???#since i last did this??#which is surprising because last time it was at 2% thanks to blixemi and one other artist im not going to name for fear of embarrassment#is only sun obscure???#ig i havent actually looked at their monthly listener count#but like i just assumed it was a decently well received alt indie band#because holy shit their music goes fucking crazy#i probably shouldn't even say anything about nicholas podany because i am insane#also i couldn't have listened to candy wine /that/ many times could i#i only found that song like a month ago#and its higher on the list than nice to meet ya!#which has been on of my favorites for like over half a year#so uh#worrying#i also dont even listen to beabedoobee and marina that much#okay well actually#thats probably a lie but still:((
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not sure how to describe it but when i see you’ve done new art i have this weird little moment of jumping up and down and then actually looking at the art
i love your art you’re definitely one of my favourite mgs artists 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡
WAAOUGUGHAOAY AH THABJYOUU!!💖💖💖🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
#lemonreplyrr#read this at work and it actually like#I couldn't focus for a good half hour#you're crazy you're insane I've only been posting mgs art for 2 months thaNKYOUSMMSLDKJSDK!!!!!!!!<<<33333333333
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