#it’s making me feel like an elderly person
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Omg girl with honorary daddy I just meant all the hot elderlies that aren’t on the current grid but should defo be included. But ok here are my recommendations:
The current grid
+ Danny Ric ,Kimi Raikkonen, Sebastian Vettel, Mick Schumacher, Jenson Button, Nico Rosberg
Toto Wolf,
Peter Bonnington,
Daddy Stroll,
Fred Vasseur,
Adrian Newey 😭,
Helmut Marko 💀,
Christian Horner
And I think thar should be enough. I included some personal icks as well this should be so much fun
Here is my smash or pass for the current grid and members below, and my reasoning behind the answer. I hope you all know this is a judgment free zone, please…
Charles Leclerc: smash, but only because I feel like there is some sort of obligation to find this man incredibly attractive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s attractive in a conventional way, but he doesn’t necessarily do it for me.
Carlos Sainz: pass, but if it were his dad? Absolutely would smash this man’s dad. Honestly he’s too pretty for me, like I would ruin him and I don’t want that guilt.
Oscar Piastri: pass, only because I feel like we’re both way too introverted and it would just be weird. Plus I think seeing my hidden tattoos and piercings (I have my nipples and multiple genital piercings btw lol) would potentially give him a heart attack and I don’t want that heat.
Lando Norris: pass, honestly he does nothing for me. I’ve watched a few of Max’s streams (I actually like Max!) and I think mom friend mode would be activated and I’d just lecture him about taking care of himself because what the fuck do you mean you have the money to buy a car but not groceries? Are you dumb?
Max Verstappen: smash, but only because I find his attitude and general demeanor attractive, not necessarily him.
Sergio Perez: SMASH, SMASH, SMASH. No explanation needed.
Nico Hulkenberg: pass, he’s too pretty and honestly I would bad getting between the haasbands, like they’re end game for me.
Kevin Magnussen: ignore my answer above, because I’m absolutely smashing certified track terror Kevin.
Pierre Gasly: give me a few shots of tequila and I’ll smash, but otherwise it’s a pass.
Esteban Ocon: smash, he’s got a really nice voice and I love his accent specifically so like, it makes sense.
Alex Albon: pass, but only because I want the chance to see the animals on his apparent farm. Also let me pet your cats please and thank you.
Franco Colapinto: pass, I’m not a mother so it wouldn’t happen anyways. Also I feel like I’d end up in a similar situation to Lando where mom friend mode gets activated and im taking this grown man grocery shopping because what do you mean your fridge is fucking empty?
Logan Sargeant (yes I’m including him, fight me): pass, only because this is my literal son and I love him and want to protect him. I would die for him.
George Russell: smash, I could break this man and I think it would be fun.
Lewis Hamilton: smash, I think he could break me and it would be fun.
Fernando Alonso: SMASH, SO MUCH SMASHING MY DUDES. LIKE SO MUCH.
Lance Stroll: pass, again, he doesn’t do it for me but his dad certainly does.
Yuki Tsunoda: pass, he’s too just a little guy for me.
Liam Lawson: pass, I don’t like his attitude and I feel like I’d want to discuss why he feels the need to be so performative with how he presents himself and it would just be a lot.
Zhou Guanyu: pass, but only because I want to hang out with his cat and not him.
Valtteri Bottas: smash, feels natural and like it would be an experience nothing would be able to replicate, ever.
Daniel Ricciardo: SMASH, no hesitation. I love a slutty thigh tattoo. I’m a sucker for this man.
Kimi Raikkonen: yall know I’m smashing, this is obvious. I’m in love with this man.
Sebastian Vettel: I’m smashing, but I’m not super into it. I’m more here to talk about sustainability and figure out what I can do to assist. It’s not a fulfilling smash.
Mick Schumacher: he’s literally so pretty, like so pretty. I’m afraid it’s a pass though guy, like I think I would almost feel guilty?? Like he’s so pretty and I’m just a feral little swamp goblin?? It’s not fair.
Jenson Button: smashing, 100%. I feel like this needs no explanation.
Nico Rosberg: pass, but it’s like a really difficult pass.
Toto Wolff: fucking smash my dudes, like I am actively ruining my marriage at the chance to smash (this is a joke I love my husband very much). I’m beginning to realize there is a bit of theme in my answers…
Peter Bonnington: have you seen the size of this dudes chest? The size of his arms? Smash, I’d be crazy not to.
Daddy stroll: smash, absolutely. Honestly? Frothing at the mouth for him.
Fred Vasseur: NO ONE JUDGE ME. Smash, and I’m not proud of it.
Adrian Newey:….smash….swear to god yall better not judge me. He’s just really smart and I find that attractive!!
Helmut Marko: pass, but only because I’m pretty sure if he saw my nipple or clit piercings he would die and I don’t need that additional trauma, ya know?
Christian Horner: pass, he looks too squirrelly to me.
#f1#formula 1#smash or pass#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#oscar piastri#Lando Norris#max verstappen#sergio perez#george russell#lewis hamilton#nico hulkenberg#kevin magnussen#pierre gasly#esteban ocon#alex albon#franco colapinto#logan sargeant#fernando alonso#lance stroll#yuki tsunoda#liam lawson#zhou guanyu#valterri bottas#toto wolff#daniel ricciardo#kimi räikkonën#jenson button#Sebastian Vettel#mick schumacher
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turtle tots are literally everything i need to draw them more EVERYONE NEEDS TO DRAW THEM MORE
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#still can barely use tumblr#it’s making me feel like an elderly person#who’s just learning to use facebook#or something#rottmnt turtle tots
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The bourgeois or "exploiting class" doesn't inherently include the person who gets their nails done biweekly, or the disabled person who has a carer, or the guy who got a $70 video game for full-price, or the person who relies on medication (yes even the ones you don't think they "need"), or anything else like this. None of these people will, on average, have the ability to exploit workers by means of ownership or whatever.
While you are busy fighting with fellow workers, you are still being exploited by your boss, by capitalism, by (potentially) not having healthcare, by being overworked and underpaid, and so are they.
#politics#feel like this wording isn't satisfactory for me but fuck it we ball#used bourgeois because i think as a colloquial word it's recognized but like...#...i dunno i think some people use it to mean 'person who can do [x]' even if they quite literally own no means of production#like the idea that you're exploiting a worker by agreeing to a service they provide isn't what bourgeois means#if i paid a carer to care for a disabled person they aren't being exploited by that disabled person...#...HOWEVER that carer absolutely can (and probably will be) exploited by the systems of power (eg their boss or capitalism)#perhaps it's too late at night for me to be posting about this but it's something that bothers me!#*especially* when it comes to disability and other groups already exploited by marginalization 👍#if your leftism percludes the disabled (including the terminally and profoundly) or the elderly or the queer or so so much i don't WANT ITTT#saw a disabled person i follow lament how afraid they were to have a carer out of fear of Being a Bad Exploitative Person#and they obviously need one and that makes me so fucking angry to know that they are needlessly suffering
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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#not to be like a boomer rn but#i just got a notification from windows on my computer telling me to try ai#the state of the way technology is going in the world actually worries and depresses me#i tell my therapist about this a lot when we talk about the world 😅#its horrible to me how fast ai is creeping into so many parts of everyday life#i feel like its kind of a train wreck in the making and its possibly going to get to a point where#theres not going to be much we can do about it because itll be so ingrained in everything#okay sorry my elderly person jumped out for a minute but that notification really got me#id rather have no technology than ai in everything change my mind#and not to mention how ai and the people working it are like actively destroying every aspect of art in the world...#dl
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Strategically choosing which Christmas tag to put on which coworker's Christmas present so I don't get any smart remarks about the heathen tree that says *gasp* "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" or the snowflake which might prompt associations with a popular insult.
#random personal stuff#you gentlemen get a stocking and a snowman and I am begging you to be nice about it#I almost feel like I'm back at the church I used to go to where I tried everything I could think of to avoid#situations in which an elderly man who fancied himself a wit could make 'jokes' that embarrassed me#...where is the button that I can press that will make everyone interact kindly with each other all the time#take me to it and I will hold it down forever and cure SO MUCH stress
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Wait a second... can someone with more understanding of fandom cultures explain something to me?
Do people ship characters because they believe they are going to be a cannon thing????? I thought it was just for fun?? I'm like, oh these two characters seem fun together, what if they dated. I just be mixing and matching these bitches I legit dgaf if it actually happens or not.
Maybe it's just whatever weird end of tiktok I'm on, or maybe it's just something I never picked up on until now, but like,,, people will say, "oh these ships are invalid cuz they won't be cannon" OK????? AND??? It's just fun
Like I remember being a kid and watching shows and my friends being like oh did you see that (insert ship name) scene???? Like girl I don't care. Two characters could never have interacted and I'm gonna ship them.
And that's all I thought it ever was? Is it like,, different now or some shit?
#this is totally unrelated to sso btw#i want to make art for shows and games im into but man.... it just feels like im inviting fandom people in when i do#and dont get me wrong#its very emotionally rewarding to build an audience for my art#but after the weird ass shit i went through with the metal family fandom im like#mildly traumatized#just a LIIIIIIITTLE more apprehensive about who is going to be consuming my art#cuz like#last time i was a part of a very active fandom#id get comments on pictures of myself saying i look like a certain anime character#or id have my art taken an posted somewhere else online with some other persons water mark put over it#or worse yet have my art be posted onto a proship fan art account and then getting all those freaks on my art#IF i was even credited#im such a person of quiet or dead fandoms#i feel elderly when im interacting with a fan base thats more popular#also#this whole ramble in the tags is not entirely related to creating ship content either#yes i would make ship art of appropriate character's but also like... just my art in general#anyways#this is just a long winded way of saying i watched the amazing digital circus pilot and really enjoyed it and feel super inspired by it but#and not to be like an angry old man and say “raugh!!! the fandom is weird!!!”#but id rather.... not... interact with the fandom#at least the portion ive seen anyway#just the random discourse i see in comment sections#its got me scratching my head a little
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unemployment arc update
#a sock speaks#work tag#things seem. not great. at restaurant job.#I could go there as a last resort but it sounds like the current management is making things miserable for employees#writeup for leaving without finishing sidework. writeup for staying late to finish sidework. only scheduling one server per shift. etc.#I kinda don't want to go back as things are 😅#I'm thinking about applying where my mom works#she does at-home care for disabled & elderly people#I'd for sure need a car and I think there are things I'd find stressful#(purity culture hit me Really Badly and I'd have some work to do before I could comfortably bathe or dress another person)#but it sounds so much more relaxed day to day. better for my anxiety.#and tbh if I could work through the modesty issues that would be good for me#pushing me to get a car sooner would also be a good thing#and I think maybe I could mature a bit more with a job like this. I still kinda feel like an underbaked adult yk?#the hourly pay is a bit less than restaurant job after tips but this job has good healthcare and union representation and all that#also the scheduling is more flexible so I could do orchestra and plan outings with friends and things like that#I had reservations about it but there are so many reasons it could be a good fit#most of it is light housecleaning. washing dishes. cooking simple meals. grocery shopping. taking ppl to appointments.
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I think I’ve said this before on here but. it really baffles and somewhat annoys me sometimes how people hear that a character is in their 40s-50s and immediately assume they should be weak or feeble or less attractive than they are. like. no. i think everyones just been brainwashed to think that attractiveness/health/worth is determined by how young someone is. why is it more understandable to view a teenager as more attractive and capable than a fit 40-50-something year old. kinda wack
#don’t get me wrong this isn’t to say that older characters shouldn’t show signs of aging#like obviously they should- though also keeping in mind here that people show aging vastly differently and throughdifferent lengths of time#ie; some people go grey in their 30s. some don’t go grey at all#and as for physical ability it just depends on a person’s routines and the life they’ve lead up to that point– a guy who’s been slumped over#a desk in a cubicle for 30 years isn’t gonna be as likely to maintain muscle as a lumberjack or a personal trainer#obviously I’m talking about ykz characters in this post and specifically kiryu/majima. mostly kiryu though really cause it’s more bizarre to#me to point him out as being Elderly and unrealistically fit and handsome for his age#like. becuase hes not even that old. he’s 54 currently and I see people saying stuff about him like this throughout the time he’s been in#his 40s to early 50s– like dude do you know that like. most of the famous actors you see in live action films are in their 40s-50s. this#isn’t the 1950s man. you can be 40 50 60 and look Not Elderly and have an active life. that’s the magic of modern medicine and technological#advancements. crazy I know#sorry ranting here I just always get so thrown off by this#admittedly I think it makes me feel weird when exaggerate their ages so much partly cause my own parents are smack in the middle#of kiryu/majima’s canon ages (1966) so I see like. literally every day what a person in their mid-50s is Like. and it’s not at all like the#weird feeble characature so many younger people in this fanbase have for them#I couldn’t view my mother- as she is right now (56)- as ‘elderly’ if I fuckin tried dude#and she’s not half as physically fit and active in her lifestyle as someone like fuckin kiryu or majima so. yeah#(she is still quite active but less in a Working Out sorta way and more in a gardening and yard work and goes to burning man sorta way)#(she’s a psychologist though so her job isn’t very physically active is my point- as opposed to someone who’s job is#physically active. you get it)#anyway sorry I need to stop talking vsncjdnd#rambling#yakuza#rgg
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Adult historical romance with magic
Sequel to A Marvellous Light
Follows Maud Blythe, the younger sister of Robin from the first book
When the elderly witch Maud’s supposed to be escorting on a transatlantic trip is murdered for the priceless magical artifact she possessed, Maud finds herself hunting a mysterious murderer while trapped onboard a ship
When Maud joins forces with Violet Debenham, a scandalous aristocrat-turned-actress from a magician family, sparks fly between the two of them despite their precarious situation
Murder mystery with a strong romantic subplot (quite frankly the horniest book I read this year which is impressive given the number of romance novels I’ve read recently)
Advances the overall plot of the trilogy while introducing a lot of new characters
Fun locked-room-mystery vibes of the ship at sea
Lesbian main character, bisexual main character, F/F romance
#this was honestly quite delightful to read#i think the setting of the boat for a murder mystery was superrrrr fun#also i enjoyed the romance!#it's kind of the opposite of robin and edwin in that they start hooking up and the develop feelings#and i think that is a delicious trope when done right#also lord hawthorn is in this more and is exceedingly long-suffering the whole time#the moments of humor in this are good too#like the pornography library#however SPOILERS#it was rude of this book to introduce elderly lesbian witches and make me sad over them dying :(#also i think violet's backstory should have been delved into a bit more personally#i really want the third book now since i have 100% spotted who it's going to be about#the last binding#a restless truth#books#2022 reads#lulu speaks#lulu reads#lulu reads the last binding#lulu reads a restless truth
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3rd time a complete stranger has asked me for some form of help this week. do i give off a certain vibe.
#I do help each time but I'm wondering why me out of all the choices available#i dressed alternatively 2/3 times i was on the phone the other i also have dyed hair and piercings#apparently i have a vibe that attracts small children to ask me for food too at conventions 😭 while I'm in cosplay#like each time it's a public setting and there are other people around#now it makes me feel the need to learn Cantonese to help the elderly population in the area 😭 bc what if it happens again#like is there something that visibly signals trustworthiness or altruism or something#I'd think based on how i dress I'd be the last person people would ask for help from 😭#everytime i check and make sure it's not that i have my volunteer badge out or something#kk rambles
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i think ive said this before but im a huge fan of public transport and walkable cities. esp as a car guy. because the more people that are off the road the more i get to enjoy it!!
and it lowers the risk of me being fucking crumpled by someones blind grandparent.
or by someones distracted driving because they cant put the fucking phone down.
#having feelings about this again#because like !! for everyones good we shouldve had a better way to travel around.#walkable cities would help everyone so much its an all around fucking win !!!!!#like i love cars i love the various cultures around them!!#but it makes me so upset to see that someones beloved modified car got t-boned by an elderly person who cannot see the road#or how yet another motorcycle rider gets flattend by a distracted driver#:/ better public transportation is better for everyone#car talk
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Achievements today:
Did some tasks for my favourite work project
Did a qual to hopefully open up more projects
Diagnosed (sort of) and fixed bugs in my sims 2 game
Ran outside in the rain for the first time since school (which I only used to do because I was forced to)
Confused my elderly neighbour and his raincoat-wearing dog
Stroked the dog’s floofy head
Ran more than a kilometre without taking a walking break
#feel like the running thing is more impressive when you realise that it was raining diagonally at my face (directly into my EYES)#and wind chill was something like 9 celsius. i was wearing a t-shirt and leggings mind you#this was how i confused my elderly neighbour. he just shouted something at me and i was like ‘yeah i know frank’#then i fussed his dog’s head and his dog wagged at me <3#his dog looks JUST like my old doggy; kim. which is not surprising since they’re both flatcoated retrievers#i LOVE flatties but they all kind of look the same. i mean max is a bit bigger and i think he’s entirely black#kim had runt of the litter vibes and a big white stripe down his belly and two white spots on his paws#i used to think he was a mix but i’ve heard from flattie breeders that they sometimes breed them to be smaller on purpose#and that even purebreds can have white on them. so i don’t know. dog breed of all time tbh#oh ane the sims glitch was just that i kept getting the jump bug and couldn’t work out why#but i pulled a few files out of my mods folder and eventually it stopped#weirdly it was only/mostly happening in one household? but it made that household completely unplayable so i had to fix it#i also had to delete some custom food because my sims straight up couldn’t make it#i’d go ‘make breakfast -> oatmeal’ and they’d get all the way through the process of making it#but then the bowl would disappear and they’d have to make it again.. and again.. and again#so i deleted all the files by that same creator just to be safe#i have plenty of custom foods anyway. i don’t really Need to have oatmeal#i think i’m going to stop downloading mods now that i know my current configuration is fine#just cosmetic cc from now on. and probably a lot of it. i need clothessss everyone is just in t-shirts and jeans#which i mean.. so am i (usually. right now i’m in pyjamas) but still#personal
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More misc. daily life pictures and such
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky !#2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building#3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like#a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble.#just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given#my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol.#NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard#to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up#as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc.#6. bapy boye... feets#7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s#o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.)#I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and#an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi#c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs#of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry#its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing#Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington#also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol#8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle#until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue#photo diary
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Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide
This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.
How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:
The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours
It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people
Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.
Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.
Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)
The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.
It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*
If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people
So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.
Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit
Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen
Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **
General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.
Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something
Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill
* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them
** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone
Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty
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Having a 17 year old cat, in my case one with an autoimmune disorder, is really just a daily practice in, like, watching for any minute change in behavior and trying to manage my anxiety around anything that happens because it's probably nothing but also noting it carefully because what if it is actually something? Something big and wrong? But what if it's fine? But also it could be dire!
Like, today he's been drooling while napping, and he usually doesn't do that in this quantity. But also he's missing a bunch of teeth so of course he's more likely to drool. But it's been almost a year since those teeth were removed and I haven't really noticed before? But did I only notice today because he was weird yesterday? Because, oh yeah, yesterday he was sleeping in a weird place after I'd left him alone at a time I'm usually home, so now is that my fault? Did he feel abandoned? Or is it a sign something's wrong? Because it's also the spot his sister started going to when she got sick and had to be put down. But if something were wrong wouldn't he be eating less? When actually he's been eating more than usual the last few days? But then is he actually getting everything from his food that he should, because I swear his back feels bonier than it used to. But is that just because he hasn't been as active, because he's older and not because of anything actually wrong? Or is there something wrong? Because also the drool looks kind of thick and that seems weird and I just...
I just feel like I'm two seconds away from breaking at any point over him and I hate that, and I hate that sometimes it starts to feel like I'm resenting him over how hard it's all been. I don't, I know that, but damnit if I don't get frustrated at him, but then he's frustrated too for all the same reasons, because with the autoimmune disorder diagnosis and the teeth being removed my cat who had for 16 years only ever wanted to eat one kind of dry food suddenly had to switch to wet. And my boy was a grazer and now he has to have food given to him in set batches and he still refuses to finish a full bowl because he has always had anxiety around low food (even though he's literally never been without, but whatever he's a neurotic guy). And I think his hearing is going because he just screams all the time instead of how he used to cry to communicate and he gets startled when I walk up behind him and I don't know how to fix that. And it's all so frustrating and emotional but I love him so much, he's been with me since I was 11 years old and I can't picture life without him. But living with a 17 year old cat is also knowing that that time is dwindling and there's literally nothing you can do. All you can do is love him and wait for something to go wrong and it's so painful and draining and yet I know I'm so lucky, I'm so grateful for every day I get with him. But fuck, it just hurts a lot of the time too.
#personal#I'm just having a lot of feelings that I needed to get out#but having elderly pets is just like the most painful gift in the world#I just want him with me you know?#but I also want him happy and comfortable#and every day I know that we're getting closer to when something might happen that would make those things mutually exclusive#it did for his sister and that was so fucking hard#idk it's been a bad day anyway and then noticing that with him is just like pushing me past an emotional limit I guess
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