#it’s like 30% now. I need it to be like 60% at least.

[imogenkol]

Looking to follow more blogs who primarily post sapphic/wlw content!

like or comment, especially if the sapphic content includes:

Original Characters/OC x Canon ships

Video Games

Star Wars

Gifs of sapphic relationships in movies/tv shows

[hella1975]

my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

[neotula]

i love character creation!!!!!!!!!!!!

[weaselle]

it was too much i had to make my own post

line cook here. ACCURATE

if you don't get the hate, here's what you don't understand.

it takes up to 2 hours to close down the kitchen.

The last 60-90 minutes before closing time you do almost no cooking because the restaurant doesn't have many people in it and you've already cooked most of their diners.

So if someone walks in during, like, the last hour, the cook is in the middle of an industrial deep clean of the kitchen.

(these numbers can vary quite a bit from place to place but i have worked several restaurants with these actual times and the concept remains the same)

Say the place closes at 10. If you wait til the restaurant is already closed to start all your cleaning duties, you'll be there until at least midnight.

More than that your boss knows that on an average night you can start your clean up as soon as the last rush ends and get out of there around 10:45, even 10:15 on a slow night if you get lucky. That means there are plenty of restaurants where if you do take until midnight the manager is going to come up to you at some point that week and ask you what went wrong that night, and you'd better have an answer.

So this example restaurant closes at 10 pm. The dinner rush ends around 8:30, and shortly after that the cook is going to start getting every single dish possible over to the dishwasher because the dishwasher always gets hit hard and late, and the machine runs for 2 full minutes and only holds so many dishes, so the way that works out is if you wait an extra 30 minutes to give the dishwasher all your stuff it can mean adding like 60 minutes to the end of his shift. And you're gonna KEEP finding shit to send to the dishpit right up until you leave probably.

all these little square and rectangle containers in this cold table have to be pulled out and changed over into new containers, replaced by new full ones, or in some cases filled from larger containers in the back, which can result in even more empty containers to send to the dishwasher.

while it's all pulled apart to do this, you have to clean up all the spilled food and sauce and juices and stuff from the joints and ledges and shelves and drip trays

Once you get your line changed over in this way, and fully stocked, anytime someone orders something that makes use of a bunch of that stuff, you have to restock and re-clean it some. It might already be covered in plastic. Some of it might already be stuck in the back to make room to take apart your cutting board counter to clean. To cook a dish isn't TOO much of a problem at this point, but you're really hoping for zero orders because you still have so much other cleaning to do.

Meanwhile the salad bar and appetizer section and server station and everybody are all doing the same thing. Even the bartenders are stocking olives and lemons and sending back whisks and stir spoons and shakers and empty 4quart storage containers that used to hold the back-up lemons and olives and things. Every section is dumping their must-be-cleaneds to the dishpit as fast as possible because early and fast is the only thing they can do to to help that dishpit not absolutely drown into overtime.

The poor dishwasher is always the last to clock out, soaking wet and exhausted.

Around this time you probably scrub the flat top, which has turned black from cooked on grease and is still about 500 degrees. Line cooks are divided in opinion on water-based or oil based cleaning methods for this, but they all involve scrubbing with (usually) a brick of pumice stone using every ounce of your strength while you try not to burn yourself

you scrub it from fully blackened to gleaming silver and now if somebody orders something that needs the flat top to cook, you can either fuck up your cleaning job or fake it in a couple frying pans and pass that tiny fuck you down to your dishwasher (who usually understands, especially if you help them take the garbage out or clean your own floor drain later)

If there's deep fried stuff on the menu then the fryers have to be cleaned out, which includes straining the oil out into enormous and super-heavy pots full of oil so hot that if you spill on yourself then it's probably a hospital visit and if you slip and fall face first into it it'll be the last thing you ever do.

Then you gotta scrub out the fryer. Like you gotta take the (hot) screen out and reach your arm down into the weird rounded pipes and curved areas (so hot, burn you if you brush against them hot) and scrub off whatever is down there

Depending on your kitchen you might have to do up to four of these. Then you'll have to pour the (dangerously hot) oil back in

oh, and if you didn't dry the pipes and get ALL the water out of the trap and tank?

water reacts with hot oil in a sort of mentos and coke way that can send a tidal wave of oil past the open flame of the pilot light ...HUGE dangerous mess and/or burn down the kitchen if the oil lights up.

Unless! If the oil has been used too hard and needs to be changed, it's time to carry those open topped super heavy pots full of will-kill-you-hot oil and dump them in the barrel outside by the dumpsters so you can put room temp fresh oil in the fryers. whew!

The clean up is not just some light wiping down that can be easily interrupted, is what i'm saying.

You might have to do some kind of walk-in duty (moving around 50lb cases of lettuce and 50lb bags of onions to get to the stacks of five gallon buckets full of salad dressings and sauces to move so you can reach the giant metal pots and bus tubs full of prep and get it all organized and make sure it's all labeled and i have to stop now i'm having flashbacks)

THE POINT IS

by 15 or however many minutes to close, the line cook is doing an intense deep clean and probably has the whole stove taken apart to detail.

For some industrial stoves this means lifting off large cast iron plates that weigh like 20 lbs each and are still quite hot. Whatever metal burners are on there, you gotta take off and clean, you can see here the lines that indicate the large thick cast iron rectangles that sit on top of the burners to allow heavy pots to rest on. Those five (each has one front burner hole and one back burner hole, see?) have to be lifted off and cleaned with soap and a wire brush usually, and then the underneath area also has to be cleaned because a lot of shit falls through the burner holes on a busy night.

if you didn't do it when you did the flat top you have to do the grease trap (which can be like a full five minutes and is always disgusting).. You gotta clean out all the little gas jets in each burner with a wire or something so the burners all flame evenly, and sometimes you have to remove some of the natural gas piping that connects the burners to access where you have to clean.

you gotta clean out the bottom of the oven and the wire racks, and, oh gods, you gotta take down the filter vents from the hood fans above the stove.

See all the lined parts along the top of the wall?

those are hood vents, and as they pull air up they also pull a lot of grease and they have to be taken down and cleaned, then you gotta climb up there and scrub where they go before you put them back...

And then there's the mopping and floor drains and...

Anyway, that's what the line cook is doing when you walk in fifteen minutes before closing and order something that needs to be cooked on that stove. They are doing an entire industrial cleaning of a professional kitchen.

In some restaurants maybe one or two of these jobs will be every other night or even only twice a week, but in many, possibly most kitchens, ALL of these things happen EVERY night. You don't want to leave any food mess that might attract insects or rodents for one thing, so a really good kitchen is as close to brand new as you can get it every night.

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO ORDER SOMETHING ANYWAY, HERE IS WHAT TO DO

open with an apology and ask the server to go ask what the cook would prefer you to order.

Any good server will already know what the cook is hoping for and what will make their line cook go into the walk in and scream. If it's significantly less than an hour to close and they say some variant of "oh anything is fine" they are either telling the lie their boss wants them to say, or they actually do not know what their line cook wants, and you can either use human connection and a conspiratorial just-between-us tone to get them to drop the customer-is-always-right act, or get them to actually go ask the cook.

It might be as specific as "the lasagna is easiest on the kitchen" or it might be a simple guideline like "nothing that requires the flat top" or "any of the sautés are easy" but a good line cook will probably have a system for if they have to make a couple of the most popular items after they start their close, so the answer is likely to include something most people like and you should be good to order that.

but for the love of all that's holy, please only do so at great need. Leave that last 30-60 minutes to the truly desperate and the crew's duties.

[interlagostrack]

I manage to lose 2kg while on vacation this week but now mom wants to go to my cousin b-day on a all you can eat Brazilian steakhouse 🫠

[vampiremourning]

i got to enjoy relatively clear skin for just under a year after going on isotretinoin & now fucking. i get the Joy of dealing with some other new skin condition on my face that just doesnt want to fuck off

[euphoriaslux]

two’s a party.

summary: you recently transferred to stanford, and decide to tutor a tennis player in your class. he has a friend. severe indecency ensues.

word count: 3.3k

warnings : smut, threesomes, f!oral receiving, swearing, smoking, drinking. slight cuck energy if you squint (i’m sorry ((no i’m not))). no challengers spoilers!

a/n: this fic got away from me big time but this movie has rotted my brain and as a result i have written utter debauchery that i will not apologize for. just had to get this out of my head, enjoy!

-

stanford science hall. monday , march 3.

You swear the last thing you’ll hear before your body is lowered into your grave is the process of lactic acid breakdown.

It’s 2:30 PM. Kinesiology 189 with Professor Wilson, a lanky middle-aged man with a PhD in exercise science and a half-grown beard that you don’t think will ever fully grow in, is almost over. He’s teaching Extended Studies of the Human Body in a humid classroom filled with student-athletes, most of whom are trying to stay awake, trying to hide that they’re taking a nap, or making no attempt to hide that they’re on their phones. You don’t really blame any of them, because the professor’s voice is so soft and monotone that it feels like he’s begging everyone to pay attention to anything but him. You’ve managed to stay somewhat on course with the thread of today’s lecture, the notebook in front of you filled with scribbles of incomplete molecular structures and somewhat legible drawings of the muscular anatomy of a hamstring.

This class is required for your biology major since you’re on a pre-medicine track. You don’t know why you’re doing it, the whole doctor thing, but you’ve developed a weird fixation for this class. The functionality of the body, how muscles stretch and tear with each movement, and how amino acids work to build them back even bigger.

And, possibly because of the tennis player who sits four rows ahead of you every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

His last name is Donaldson. You know because of the faded label on the massive bag he throws on the floor every time he walks into class, at least ten minutes late with a backward Stanford Tennis cap on his head. His first name remains a mystery, partly because he never talks in class, and mainly because you’ve made no attempt to speak to him. You like to think it’s because you’re so focused on the curriculum.

Professor Wilson knows your name, though, since you’re in his office hours every Thursday at 11 A.M. In part because he gives out most of the answers to his homework, and because you just transferred to Stanford your last year and very desperately need a letter of recommendation for medical school. Hence why you agreed to tutor a student with lower than 60% in the class during one of your meetings. And why everyone in the class was staring at you right now.

“... first come first serve, so reach out to her sooner rather than later.”

You give a tight-lipped smile, glancing around the room. Most people have looked away, back to their distraction of choice, but you meet eyes with the fluffy blonde-haired tennis player.

stanford library. wednesday, march fifth.

It’s 11 A.M., and you feel like your brain is about to explode if you look at another practice set.

“Hey”.

Your head whips around to the harsh whisper, only to be met with the blue-eyed mystery from your class. He has that large bag slung over his shoulder, with the end of a tennis racket peeking out of it. His hair is slightly stuck to his face, and his compression tee is slick to his chest like a second skin.

“Hi,” you whisper back. He smiles before tossing his bag on the floor and sitting in the chair across from you, either unaware of or completely ignoring the glares he’s receiving from the other students studying.

“You know,” he pulls out some kind of nutrition bar from his bag, unwrapping it and taking an aggressive bite, “for someone advertising their services, you’re pretty hard to find.”

“You’re in Mr. Wilson’s class, right?” you ask, hoping your subdued voice will remind him that he’s in a notoriously quiet place. He hums, pointing at you with his half-eaten snack.

“And I’m trying not to fail, but you didn’t leave your number anywhere in the classroom, and you bolt after every class. So how am I supposed to patronize your tutoring services…” he trails off, his volume the same level as when he walked in. You furrow your brows as he leans back into the chair.

“That’s when you say who you are.”

You feel a burn on the back of your neck as you tell him your name. He glances down towards the problem set you’ve nearly finished.

“How do you turn in any of those, I can’t get halfway through one of them.”

You pause for a moment before leaning slightly across the table to whisper:

“This new weird thing called studying. I think it just got approved by the CDC.”

“Very funny,” he shakes his head as reaches for your binder with your class schedule printed out on the front of it.

“Why are you taking so many bio classes?”

“Because I’m a biology major,” you can’t help the sarcasm dripping from your voice, and he looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry, you’re making this too easy for me,” you raise your hands in conceit.

“I have practice every day at five so you can tutor me for like an hour beforehand,” he says before standing up, crunching up the silver wrapper and stuffing it into the front pocket of his blue jeans. You scoff at his sentence.

“Well, thank you for so generously fitting me into your schedule,” you roll your eyes, turning the page in your textbook. He grins.

“Tell the coach you’re there for Art. They’ll let you through.”

stanford tennis courts. friday, march 7th.

It’s 4 PM, and the California sun is sweltering. Your shorts feel like they’ve become a part of your legs, and your bag feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. By the time you make it to the tennis courts Art is already on the green concrete, shirtless with beads of sweat dripping down his face and chest. You hear his grunts as he sprints across the court, hitting the ball toward a slightly taller brunette with dangerously short red shorts. You watch them at the entrance for a few minutes, slightly entranced as the two play so seamlessly, as if they know every move the other person is going to make. You force your eyes away as you walk up the bleachers, stepping over leftover water bottles and chip bags to sit down and grab your notes from your backpack. It takes a couple more minutes for Art to notice you, yelling your name after he turns around to grab a ball his partner had hit particularly hard. You wave, and he says something you can’t hear to the brunette before the two of them jog across the courts and up the stands to where you are, blocking the sun as the two stand side by side.

“Who’s your friend?” you ask as you stuff the problem set you were working on in between the pages of your notebook.

“I’m Patrick,” he says, with a toothy smile and his ears poking out from under his hair. He has a bit more of a boyish charm to him than Art does, whose eyes are glued to his brunette counterpart.

“Are you in Mr. Wilson’s class too?”

Patrick opens his mouth to answer but Art speaks first, slightly pushing his friend with his shoulder as he says “He doesn’t go to Stanford, too busy being a tennis pro.”

Patrick rolls his eyes but his smile doesn’t leave his face. You notice how different this Art feels from the one in the library, how direct his playfulness is and how close he and Patrick stand together, their sweaty torsos nearly melding together.

Interesting.

“Like, Andre Agassi level pro?” you smile as the two of them laugh. Patrick raises the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat off of his forehead, and you can’t help but take a glance at the exposed skin just above his waistband.

“Sorry, he’s like the only tennis player I know.”

“No, no I’m taking that as a compliment that you think I’m on the level of Agassi. No takebacks if you see me play,” Patrick points at you.

“Will do,” you salute, turning over to Art.

“You ready to study?” you ask him as he makes a comically loud groan, his head falling back. Patrick laughs, reaching over to ruffle his friends hair.

“You do remember that’s why I’m here, right? Midterms are in two weeks.”

“I definitely have not forgotten that.” he says. You purse your lips just as Patrick’s eyes seem to light up.

“I’m staying at the Courtyard Hotel for the weekend. You two can come over and study, I need to review my last match anyway. Kill two birds with one stone,” Patrick suggests.

“Just studying?”

“Just studying,” Art says, wrapping his arm around his friend's shoulder. You glance between the two of them, trying to decipher the unspoken communication they seem to be doing. But you can’t crack it, so you shrug.

“Sure.”

“Let us finish this set, and then you’ll have me all to yourself. Sound fair?”

“Wow, what a privilege. Don’t take too long, it’s hell on Earth out here!” you yell the last part as Art jogs down the steps and back down towards the net. You look up once you realize that the sun is still being blocked, and Patrick is still standing in front of you.

“You ever play?” he grins, flipping the tennis racket in his hand.

“Tennis? God, no, that would not be a pretty sight. I’ll stick to what I’m good at,” you gesture to the books and notes in your lap. Patrick nods.

“If you ever want to learn, I could teach you sometime, you know if-” he’s cut off by Art yelling his name, and you both glance to see him with his hands on his hips.

“Go, don’t keep your boyfriend waiting,” you wave him off, and you swear you can see him blushing. Must have been the glare.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says over his shoulder as he runs toward Art.

courtyard hotel. saturday, march 8.

It’s 11 pm. There’s a cold shiver in the elevator as you wait to get to the fourth floor, your tennis shoes tapping against the floor as one hand plays with the handle of the pack of beer in your hand while the other crumples and re-crumples the piece of paper with the hotel room number Patrick scribbled on it.

what are you doing?

You don’t have time to think about the consequences of your actions as the robotic voice signals that you’re on the fourth floor, the elevator doors fluttering open. It’s like your feet have a mind of their own, as you find yourself almost mindlessly wandering through the hotel halls until you’re planted in front of room 4B. You raise your hand to knock on the door but before you can make contact with the wood it’s thrust open, and Patrick is standing behind it. His dark hair is slightly tousled around his face, his striped shirt unbuttoned and his black boxer briefs low on his waist. He’s smiling, that same big smile as before, but his face is a little flushed, a gentle pink hue touching his cheeks. The two of you don’t say anything for a few seconds, as if you were both testing to see who would concede first to acknowledge the other’s presence. You raise the pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon in your right hand.

“I brought studying fuel.”

You were never good at waiting.

Patrick laughs before he moves slightly out of the way to allow you to walk into his room. It’s small, with a queen-sized bed and a tiny desk, and the A/C emits an odd rumbling sound as it smacks against the window. Clothes and scorecards are strewn across the floor, and the scent of cigarettes permeates the room. You place the alcohol on the floor before deciding to sit on the bed, kicking off your shoes as you cross your legs. Patrick seems to stall for a moment, smiling to himself before closing the door behind him. He doesn’t lock the door, but you didn’t notice.

“Art’s not here yet?” you ask, watching as Patrick walks over and tears open the cardboard case, cracking open a can. Taking a sip, he leans against the desk as he smiles.

“Art can be bad with time.”

“As I’ve noticed,” you reach your hand out to motion towards the drink and Patrick hands it to you, staring as you take a large sip.

“Well,” you wipe the side of your mouth, “I told him to bring the topics he wanted to study, so I guess we can’t do anything until he gets here.”

Patrick nods with a slight pout, his fingers playing with the pop tab of the can. “I guess we can’t.”

“How’s tennis… stuff,” you laugh as you finish the question, not sure of exactly what to say.

Patrick seems to tense a little at the mention of the sport, moving over to sit next to you on the bed. His knee grazes your leg and you feel a slight buzz at the contact as he takes the beer from your hand.

“I’m kinda fucking it up right now,” he says, and you furrow your brows.

“How? You were like, really good yesterday.”

He chuckles, shaking his head slightly. He hands you the beer and you finish it off, placing the empty can at the bottom of your feet.

“I’m good with Art. It feels so fucking natural and easy with him. But in my other matches, I don’t know. I just … can’t replicate it.”

You nudge him with your leg.

“Sounds like you two were made to play tennis together.”

He makes a noise of agreement, his hands slowly moving to ghost over your thigh.

“You and Art are pretty close?” you ask as he plays with the bottom hem of your shorts, but he doesn’t say anything. You take his silence as a yes.

“Do you ever get jealous?”

“Of Art?” he asks, almost incredulously. You shrug.

“Yeah, or jealous of the girls he’s with. Either or.”

Patrick sits on that for a few moments before smirking.

“What’s mine is mine, and what’s his is mine.”

You laugh at that, a real deep laugh, and Patrick giggles next to you, the both of you tipsy from the can of beer you finished. You reach over and put your hand on his flushed face, rubbing your hand across his cheek.

“What were you doing before I came?” you feel his face warm even more against your skin as you position yourself closer to him.

“Practicing- or, sorry, rereading my scorecards from my last match.”

You tutted as you moved your hand to the back of his neck, gently running your hands through his hair.

“You can tell me the truth, Patrick.”

He turns his head to press a gentle kiss to the palm of your hand before looking up at you as if to check if that was too much. Whatever your expression is gives him the confidence to move down to your neck, his tongue licking your skin.

“I think you know.”

You feel a pull in your lower stomach at his words, muffled by his mouth nipping at the sensitive spot just below your ear, and he sucks hard enough for you to put your hand around on his face at the pressure. Pulling his face up, the two of you stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, and his eyes glance toward your lips. You wanted to wait, to make him beg and plead for it, but your body seemingly pulled you forward as your pressed your mouth onto his.

You were really quite bad at waiting.

He tastes like tobacco and faintly of the fruit medley in the dining hall, and you sigh as his lips interlock with yours and his hand grabs the back of your neck, pressing you into him. The kiss gets messy and hard, his tongue gliding over your bottom lip and into your mouth as you lift your leg to straddle Patrick, grinding into him. He whimpers into the kiss as his calloused hands drop down to the waistband of your shorts, hesitating for a moment before dropping his hand into your underwear. You grind just a little bit faster as his fingers press circles into your clit, covering your mouth with your hand as you moan.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs as he uses his other hand to guide your hips, and your move your hands down to tug firmly on his hair. You can feel your climax building, the pressure in your stomach getting closer and closer to taking you over the edge-

You both jump at the sound of the hotel room dor slamming shut. Art is standing there, in that damn backward cap and a Stanford tee shirt as he crosses his arms over his chest, saying nothing as you and Patrick sit up straight, him adjusting his crotch and you smooth down your shirt, avoiding his gaze. Finally, the silence is broken by Art laughing.

“Christ, I’m not the cops,” he slips out of his slides as he waltzes over and opens a can of beer, drinking about half of it in one go. You look at him, and at Patrick, and then back at him, not knowing what the hell you just got yourself into.

“You want to fuck him right?” Art asks, and you can’t help your small gasp at how easily he said that. You glance at Patrick, hoping he’ll know what to say, but he’s just staring at Art.

“I-um,”

“So, no one’s stopping you,” Art cuts you off, taking a final swig of his beer and moving to stand directly in front of you. You open your mouth to try and explain, but before you can talk Patrick’s mouth is on yours again, his hand roaming your body. His grip is firmer now, his fingertips digging into the side of your stomach. He tugs at the bottom of your shirt and you separate, breathless as you pull your shirt over your head and toss it on the floor. Patrick’s mouth moves down to your neck, then your collarbones, and then your chest as he reaches around to take of your bra, and you feel on fire from Art’s gaze across the room. As Patrick kisses down your stomach and yanks down your shorts, you turn over to meet Art’s eyes.

“Come here.”

Whatever resolve Art was holding onto crumbles as he quickly takes off his shirt and slips out of his Nike shorts, tossing his hat on the dresser. In a flash Art’s hands are on your neck, tilting your head around to kiss you as Patrick lifts up your hips so he can take off your underwear. Art’s lips are softer than Patrick’s but he kisses you a little bit harder, his hand cupping the base of your neck. Somehow, they both taste the same. You moan into Art’s mouth as you feel Patrick’s tongue swirl around your clit, rolling your hips into his mouth as Art’s cock presses into your back. It’s just so much so fast, and that familiar buzz starts to pool in your lower stomach.

“Look at him,” Art turns your head to Patrick and you look into his eyes as you cum, Art’s hands hold your head forward as a wave of euphoria crashes over you. Patrick’s hands are digging into your hips as he stares up at you and Art. Your chest heaves up and down as you try to catch your breath, leaning against Art as Patrick leans back up, his mouth a few inches from yours.

“Who do you want first?

[fratboykate]

I'm totally in support of the writers in theory but I'm trying to understand more of what you're fighting for because I've seen some people on twitter claim writers make more money a week than most of us make in a month so I'm trying to understand what the issue is. Also if that info is accurate. This is a genuine question. Not trying to have a "gotcha moment". I really want to hear from a writer.

people have always had wild misconceptions about how much a writer earns because of their lack of understanding of how the industry actually works. there's so many posts about how "you guys make 5k a week. what more do you want?!" yeah...let's do some math on that.

5k a week for 14 weeks (and that's a long room. a lot of rooms these days are 8-10 weeks. those are the dreaded mini-rooms we're trying to kill) is $70,000. for roughly three months of work. you'd think we're cooking with gas...BUT HOLD UP. that's gross! let's see everything that has to come out of that check:

10% to our agent

10% to our manager

5% to our entertainment attorney

5% to our business manager (not everyone has one but a lot of us do. i do, so that's literally 30% immediately off the top of every check)

most of these breakdowns ive seen downplay taxes severely. someone made one that says writers pay 5% in taxes and i would like to ask them "in what universe?". that doesn't even cover state taxes. the way taxes work in the industry is really complicated, but the short of it is most of us have companies for tax reasons so we aren't taxed like people on w2s/1099. if we did we'd be even more fucked. basically every production hires a writer's company instead of the writer as an individual. so they engage our companies for our services and then at the end of the year we (the company) pay taxes as corporations or llcs (depending on what the writer chose to go with). my company is registered as a "corporation" so let's go with those rates. california's corporate rate is 9% and the federal corporate tax rate is 21%. there's other expenses with running a business like fees and other shit so my business managers/accountants/bookkeepers have recommended i save between 35-40% of everything i make for when tax season comes.

you see where the math is at already??? 25-30% in commissions and then 35-40% in taxes. on the lower end you're at THE VERY LEAST looking at 60% of that check gone. 70% worst case scenario. suddenly those $70,000 people claim we make are actually down to $28,000 as the take home pay. and that's if you're only losing 60%. it goes down to $21,000 if it's 70%.

lets pretend you worked a long 14 week room (that's the longest room ive ever worked btw) and let's also be generous and say you only have 60% in expenses so the take home is $28,000. average rent in los angeles is around $2,800-$3,000. if you're paying $2,800 in rent that means you need AT LEAST $4,000 a month to have a semi decent life since you need to also cover groceries, gas, medical expenses, toiletries, phone, internet, utilities, rental and car insurances, car payments, student loan payments, etc etc etc. and again, this is los angeles. everything is more expensive so you're living BARE BONES on 4k. and these are numbers as a single person. im not even taking having children into account. so those $28,000 you take home might cover your life for 6-7 months. 3 of which you're in the room working. the reality is that once that room ends, you might not work in a room again for 6-9-12 months (i have friends whose last jobs were over 18 months ago) and you now only have about 3 months left of savings to hold you over. we have to make that money stretch while we do all the endless free development we do for studios and until we get our next paying job. so...3 months left of enough money to cover your expenses -> possible 9 months of not having a job. this is how writers end up on food stamps or applying to work at target.

this is why we're fighting for better rates and better residuals. residuals were a thing writers used to rely on to get them through the unemployment periods. residual checks have gone down from 20k to $0.03 cents. im not joking.

they've decimated our regular pay and then destroyed residuals. we have nothing left. so don't believe it when they tell you writers are being greedy. writers are simply fighting to be able to make a middle class living. we're not asking them to become poor for our sake. we're asking for raises that amount to 2% of their profit. TWO PERCENT. this is a fight for writing even being a career in five years instead of something you do on the side while you work retail to pay your bills. if you think shows are bad now imagine when your writer has to do it as a hobby because they need a real job to pay their bills and support a family. (which none of us can currently afford to have btw)

support writers. stop being bootlickers for billion dollar corporations. stop caring about fictional people more than you care about the real people that write them. if we don't win this fight it truly is game over. the industry as you know it is gone.

[rottenlemonontheroad]

ig I’m doing that notes thing that I’ve been seeing a lot (all numbers r gonna be low cuz my account kinda dead rn)

5 notes: I’ll post more cat pictures cuz people seem to enjoy those

10 notes: I’ll lock in on the writing requests I got rn

15 notes: I’ll try to better my sleep schedule

20 notes: I’ll start recording for the slenderverse arg

25 notes: I’ll get a therapist finally

30 notes: I’ll come out to my friends

That’s all for now :)

Edit 1:

I GUESS IM ADDING MORE

60 notes: I’ll hang out w my friends again

65 notes: I’ll try to get back into doing art

70 notes: I’ll try n get a boyfriend :)

80 notes: I will post bunny pics ( I hav a pet bunny too)

100 notes: I’ll get a job

115 notes: I’ll work on a ren fair costume n post photos

125 notes: I’ll do a hair reveal

140 notes: finish reading the books I haven’t finished

edit 2: 

190 notes: I’ll start doing Duolingo again

200 notes: I’ll take a shower every night for 10 days

220 notes: I’ll stop being a iPad kid and go outside 😭😭

240notes: I’ll make some sushi n eat it :) (tbh I really m craving sushi rn so yeah-)

260 notes: Kinda like the one on the first one BUT I will start sleeping for a WHOLE 8 HOURS A NIGHT!!!! (For at least a week cuz no way I can do that forever)

270 notes: I’ll start wearing makeup again :)

300 notes: I’ll clean my room

320 notes: I’ll post my dumb ahh art

340 notes: I’ll organize my phones apps (w proof)

370 notes: i organize my computer (w proof)

400 notes: I’ll actually try hard this coming school year

430 notes: room tour

450 notes: I’ll start sewing stuff again

500 notes: I’ll put a screen time thing on my phone 😭

Edit 3:

Since people hav been asking for more here it is (Unachievable goals so they take longer) most of these r gonna be writing cuz i havent wrote in a while n need to

600 notes: I'll update all of my wattpad fanfics w a new chapter

680 notes: I'll start writing the book i have been thinking about doing (+Post it)

720 notes: I'll finally post my requests that ppl hav given me n that i hav just kept updating

750 notes: I'll post my oc's

800 notes: I'll start playing the flute again

900 notes: .... I will give you guys my wattpad account....

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW

@chlover-my-shingles

[cleolinda]

I’ve read a few of the umpteen thousand upset comments about the paid Watcher service, and I’ve read comments angry about the upset comments. There’s one thing I want to point out, and it’s that this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, “You’re saying people don’t deserve to earn money for their work.”

The Watcher guys do deserve to earn money. I already give them money. I give them $5 a month on Patreon, not because I think they do or don’t give me $5 worth of media, but because I want to support them. I canceled Netflix for pissing me off with its price hike/ad tier, but I give Watcher Entertainment money.

They’re saying now that the Patreon will be solely about the podcasts, and they understand if people leave. I’m perfectly happy to switch the support I can afford to the streaming service. With the early adopter 30% discount, I’d actually save money. In fact, I tried to subscribe, but the site didn’t work.

Watcher wanting to profit from their shows isn’t the problem. It’s that they’re now discovering that their fanbase is young and broke in a terrible economy, judging by tens of thousands of comments on multiple platforms. I can throw them $5/month, so I do. But the Patreon only has (checks notes) 5874 paying followers, and there’s a reason for that. $60/year upfront would not be “accessible.” Patreon is literally patronage from the people who can afford it.

If the guys had said up front, “ONLY new shows and episodes will be exclusive to the service,” I think we’d be having a different conversation right now. But at first they did say, “We’re pulling all our content from YouTube,” to the point where Variety had to issue an update. Like, that’s in print and I’m pretty sure it was on video. Now they’ve backtracked to ONLY new etc.—but most people haven’t heard, and they feel crushed. And the trust is probably gone regardless.

So now four years of back catalogue will stay public. And now, you’re paying $6.99 a month for one episode, maybe two, of something a week, and now, not an exclusive back catalogue. I would pay for Watcher shows before I’d pay for anyone else, but I just don’t think the company is big enough yet for a SVOD at that price. They’re not Dropout size. They needed to build more programming and get a higher follower count first, or at the very least, charge less.

The international price/exchange rate situation is a nightmare and I don’t know what it is they’re not doing to make it… not… be like that.

I don’t know what they should have done instead of a full streaming service, but surely there were alternatives? I’ve seen comments from people suggesting they GET a Patreon. Lean on that more! Do the shows exclusive for a month and then let them roll onto YouTube! I don’t know! Anything but One More Fucking Streaming Service, which enraged me, and I was willing to move my support to it!

And I shouldn’t say this, but I will. In the “Goodbye YouTube” video the guys posted, they say that setting up the streaming service has allowed Steven to do a remake of Worth It where he and his cohosts travel the world and eat expensive food. This is the first new show they announce. Not “We have always been committed to diversity and we’re now able to bring on new creator(s) to expand our programming.” No, a redo of an old show that by definition has got to be expensive. Commenters are saying they can’t pay for the streaming service because they can’t make ends meet in this economy. The optics are terrible. I genuinely question what the thought process even was here.

I love the guys and I still watch their shows. I want to see Watcher succeed. I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018 while recovering from surgery—as with a lot of people, their shows got me through a tough time. I’m as attached as anyone. If I can continue to afford monthly support—this is not a certainty—I’ll give it to them. I’m not a ~hater who doesn’t want Watcher to make money. But I am absolutely BAFFLED by every single decision here. I want them to figure out how to turn this around and go in a better direction, because right now, this ain’t it.

[akilahia]

Thinking about IHNMAIMS in pretty much all of its forms.

Specifically Ted and Ellen. Obviously in the Game their relationship is very different from the short story/comic/radio drama, with Ted being in love with Ellen(although it’s evident it’s because she is the only woman left alive). In the game he shows devotion to her, he is willing to push past his usual methods of flirtation and find other ways to get what he needs.

But in the other adaptions his feelings towards Ellen are mixed. I think his unique backstory with being so dependent on women to live a happier and more lavish life style, significantly effect how he views Ellen beyond AM’s tampering

Throughout the short story Ted constantly thinks ill of Ellen. Even though prior to being placed in this hell, she had only had sex twice before. But she is the last woman alive on earth. The video game(while following a different plot line(still one that is extremely tragic and literally made me cry)) expresses that even before Ellen’s assualr she had little to no interest in sex. She would never have had sex with the four men if it weren’t for

1. AM

2. Being the Last women alive

3. AM’s deliberate tampering

In a world where characters like Benny have been so permanently physically marked as a form of torture by AM, something like sex, is not as extreme in comparison(at least from Ted’s perspective). However to be the last woman alive, with minimal interest in sex, to be tampered with in such a way, is such a horrific form of torture.

I’m going to shift a way from this for a second to talk about Ted’s backstory for the video game. I understand that the videogame makes changes in terms of backstory for some of the characters(like Benny), so we can’t claim Ted’s backstory for the game is even remotely close to whatever it might have been for the short story. However, I still think can provide interesting context to his behavior towards Ellen.

Starting off, he really isn’t the cool rich guy that he played himself off to be when life was still normal. He never came from money, he was poor and he was forced to work and couldn’t go to school. However he was good looking which is resulted in older woman being attracted to him. And when he was NINETEEN, one older woman gave him her husband’s money and offered him the chance to travel and live in luxury.

Now this probably isn’t important, or was even taken into consideration by the game makers, but I was curious as to what the possible age gap between this older woman and Ted could be. The were together for 5 years, then she died

She died specifically of an aneurysm, which according to Google typically happens between the ages of 30 to 60. There is all this stuff with the Cold War and ww3 and I was going to try to do all this math with it but it’s too late for that and not relevant to the point I’m trying to make. But I’m just going to do some simple mental math and estimate that it might have been late 60’s or early 70’s when the older woman and Ted first got into a relationship. As I’m assuming everything went to shit in 1995 since that’s when the game came out, and 25 years had passed after he met the woman. Also this makes sense as Ted’s grandfather sold the farm due to the Great Depression, since most people married and had kids young, I’m going to be generous and say grandpa was 30 in 1929, and Ted’s mother or father was 9, then 10-12 years later Ted was born. Then 19 years later it would be about the 60’s or 70’s.

I am going to presume that the older woman had been married to her husband for at least 15 years. So it might have been 50’s at the earliest possibility. And the average age people married at then was when they were in their 20’s. So when she met Ted she was AT THE EARLIEST 35. Making her at least 16 years older than Ted when the first got together. But also worth noting that they do specifically mention older. So if we look on the higher side of the typical ages for aneurisms she could have been 55 when they first met(as the 5 years would pass making her 60) so she could have been 36 years older than him.

This seriously isn’t relevant to the actual point I’m trying to make with Ellen and Ted but I got sucked in. I guess I just wanted to highlight that Ted did not have the power in this relationship, he was young and poor, while she was old and rich, and I can imagine how that kind of relationship would impact him.

The next thing I want to note is the use of the word ‘lover’.

Though it can be used in a strictly romantic non intimate sense, I think it is used in the sexual way here.

Especially with the provided context of two different definitions of the word ‘lover’ both highlighting it’s connotations with sexual relationships

Furthermore, Ted’s relationship with the older woman is essentially just a sugar baby relationship. She is letting him experience things he never could have without her money. She teaches him how to act as a socialite and gets him used to the high life.

In connection to the sexual elements above, there was a video I wanted to link here but I can’t find it anywhere anymore. It was a YouTube video with a bunch of sugar babies discussing their experiences. And one woman confides that you really won’t make much money if you are in a platonic or non intimate romantic relationship with your sugar parent. If you want to make money and live richly, you have to preform sexual favors.

Now it’s hard to say if this was the only relationship with an older woman that Ted had been in. But regardless of whether it was one woman or a billion, using his body in order to get something that he wants has become an important asset to Ted; As seen in the castle with the maid and the witch. His love for Ellen(in the video game) helps him break past this fatal flaw of his, despite AM’s obvious temptations to make him fail.

Even if this stuff was in anyone’s minds when they wrote Ted’s backstory but I think it’s extremely important to note, especially as we return to my main point.

As stated before, Ted views Ellen negatively due to her promiscuity, despite the desire(felt really gross typing this word in this context) being placed in her as a form of torture by AM. She also is a woman, and Ted’s life has been spent around using and being used by women, so definitely lots of conflicting stuff there. Additionally Ted’s experiences with sexual relations are shown to be based in being transactional.

When he agrees with Ellen to go to the caves to get the food, she rewards him by being intimate with him to show her gratitude. Ted sees it as her ‘using him.’ (From the Radio Drama, I was going to post the clip but I could only post one video in a tumblr post apparently)

In the comic, after this encounter he questions her motivations. What she got out of it, once again thinking transactionally. But her response

“Does there have to be a reason”

Really gets to me. Especially after looking at all this intertextual context. Thinking about video game Ted’s backstory with book Ted’s thoughts and behaviors, he is shown to always think there is some kind of catch. No one is doing something without getting something in return, especially if that thing is kindness.

Ted is so intensely paranoid(as seen in all versions). I think by pairing up the backstory for the game with the short story/comic/radio drama it’s evident to see how heavily affected he is by it.

He thinks he has been tormented less by AM, making him paranoid of the others, contributing towards his behavior towards Ellen. Yet despite everything from the past and all of AM’s tampering, he still finds comfort with Ellen. Her unfaltering kindness manages to reach him even when he dismisses it as a farce. She doesn’t hate him or the others for how they’ve treated her, she still wants to help them. He still cares for her and the others. But he is filled with so much fear. He even apologizes to her.

I feel like at that point in the Radio drama marks a shift. Ted has made a realization about AM and it’s a lot for him, but Ellen is there for him. It’s a genuinely sincere act of kindness from her where she doesn’t ask or expect anything in return. They have some kind of connection. Once again blending the different versions, I think that this moment between them comes together in the end when they kill the other victims together. They don’t speak to each other, they just do it quickly and he kills her. And here he doesn’t refer to her by any degrading names. In the comic he holds her. Like how in the radio drama she held him.

Overall I just wanted to point out how well all these versions really mix to provide so much more behind each character. The backstories for the video game allow the reader to understand book Ted’s actions and relationships from a new angle.

The is was super duper major mess of a ramble. It’s now 3 am and I have a migraine, so I’m done for tonight. I might clean this up another time or make another post about Video game Ted with context to his backstory since I didn’t include the events from the video game in here.

Once again these are just my thoughts and beliefs on how I think the video game backstory for Ted provides interesting context for Book Ted. I know that both stories play out differently and both Ted’s act differently so please don’t get angry if you disagree with the message of stuff I said

mini sequel post about video game Ted

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series is 18+ and will contain fluff, suggestion, SMUT (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, mental health struggles, eating disorder, self doubt, body image issues, daddy kink, angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily.

P.S. Thank you so much for completing this series. 'You're Mine' and 'Ours' have been a massive labor of love and so much fun to write. I hope you have enjoyed all 60 chapters! There will be epilogue but until then... The End.

Chapter 30 - 'All Ours' | ‘Ours’ - The Final Part

word count - 14.2 k

Trent was on the carpet in your living room sat in between your legs as you were sitting on the couch behind him. Teddy was on the couch next to you sitting in Marcel’s lap as the four of you watched a NBA game on the TV that night. Maybe the four of you watching is a stretch. Marcell and Trent were watching. Teddy was bothering Marcel with irrelevant and unrelated questions. You were occupied playing with Trent’s hair, scratching at his scalp, occasionally massaging his shoulders. You were just keeping your hands on him. You couldn’t get enough of him lately. You still had yet to tell your families about the pregnancy. You were hiding in sweat sets and t-shirts of Trent’s lately attempting to hide your slightly now more noticeable bump. Trent leaned his cheek against the inside of your thigh as he kissed your knee. 

“Celly, know mama has a baby?” Teddy asked Marcel, looking up at him as she pulled at his shirt begging for more attention. You were just far away enough that you couldn’t clearly make out what they were actually talking about but also you were in such a trance focused on Trent you weren’t really trying to listen in either.

“Yeah, I know. You're Mummy’s baby, Ted.” Marcel cooed, confirming what he assumed she was talking about. He kept his focus on the game though. She scrunched her nose, annoyed he didn’t understand her and that he didn’t actually pay much attention to her.

“No, in her tummy, tay?” She tried to correct him, looking at him with a ‘duh’ type face like how could he not know she was talking about a new baby.

“What?” He whispered to her bringing his face close to hers but flicked his eyes to you and Trent with confusion over her. He was shocked to say the least. 

“A Celly.” Teddy attempted to clarify what she was talking about pulling his attention back to her. His eyes widened. It took him a moment before he was able to compute what she was referring to saying you had ‘a Celly.’ He debated for a moment if Teddy was like just talking nonsense or if she was serious.  Was he supposed to tell you and Trent he knew? What if you were not pregnant and he asked? He didn’t want to offend you. He grappled with the thought for a second.

“Ted, can I tell mummy and daddy what you told me?” Marcel asked her loud enough to draw the attention of Trent. He furrowed his brow but disregarded them and wrote it off as something silly Marcel and Teddy usually talked about. 

“Nooos, it’s secret Celly!” Teddy yelped. Trent shook his head with a smile at her not knowing what she was yelling about. Marcel dragged his finger between his lips and locked it at the corner's edge, signaling to Teddy he’d keep their secret but his mind was racing. He needed to know. A little while later you had gone upstairs and put Teddy to bed after Marcel and Trent said a lengthy goodnight to her filled with her giggles. When you came back down, they had moved to the cinema to play a game of FIFA.  You made your way there to find them but didn’t say anything or even acknowledge them really when you went in. You just cuddled up to Trent and fell asleep on him in the dark room. Trent made sure you were tight to him, laying his hands with his game controller onto your back keeping you so. As they played, sporadically he’d whisper ‘I love yous’ to you and kiss your hair. 

“Bro…” Marcel turned in his seat to look at Trent as they waited for the next game to load and start. Trent raised his eyebrows confused what Marcel’s impatient facial expression was for. “Sooo…” Marcel waved his hand at Trent to signal him to start talking but Trent gave no response. “You and Y/N….” He finally just spelled it out for his brother who was just taking too long for him.. 

“Oh... Fuck. Mate, it’s not obvious right? Were you able to just tell?” Trent babbled out quietly but relatively panicked. He looked down at your body and tried to examine you hidden under the baggy clothes trying to deduce if Marcel had been able to make out your bump visually. “We’re supposed to go to mums tomorrow. You think she’ll be able to tell? We were trying to wait to tell everyone.” Trent’s anxiety over ruining something you were fairly excited about doing washed over him.

“Wait so you are?!?” Marcel yelped out but bit his lips tightly closed after hoping he didn’t wake you with his excited outburst.  

“Yeah. We’ll she is or we are. I’m so happy.” Trent cooed gently, turning his focus to you. He smiled brushing his hand over hair before kissing your temple.

“Damn, that’s amazing. But nah, I couldn’t just tell. I had no idea. I don’t think mum will know either. Your daughter just yaps more than you and she told me.” Marcel smiled simultaneously taking a jab at Trent whilst letting him know that Teddy had spilled the beans. 

“Oh dammit, Ted. I knew she wouldn’t keep it to herself. Evidently, she doesn’t really understand a pinky promise and I guess the concept of secrets either.” Trent laughed, Marcel did along with him. Teddy wasn’t the most tight lipped.  

“Bro, this is sick… I’m so happy for you guys. How is she?” He nodded towards you. He wanted to make sure you were fine. If anyone knew the depth of how bad things had gotten it was Marcel. 

“Yeah, she’s been all good so far. She’ll do amazing. I know that.” Trent smiled again praying that you would be fine this time around. He didn’t know if he could bear an episode like the one that occurred after your pregnancy with Teddy. “Let her tell you about this though bro. I know she wanted to.” He instructed his brother because he knew that you had talked about the way you wanted to announce this to your families, especially Marcel. You wanted everyone to kind of have their own individual announcement, different from your fist pregnancy. In the following days Marcel kept his mouth shut as you began to send out customized newspapers announcing your baby. Each one including a snippet to keep it quiet till everyone knew.  Something along the lines of ‘Call us when you read the news. We can’t wait to meet our baby but until all our family and friends know… shhhh!’

“I’m fucking crying. Are you serious right now?” Winnie was balling over a Facetime after she had received hers. It naturally set you off right away.

“Yeah, going to have a little boy. I don’t know anything about them but I know he’ll be really cute.” You gushed with a giggled, starting to deep that you knew zero about little boys. It probably was a similar feeling that Trent had when you found out about Teddy. Things were going to be generally the same but also wildly different.  

“Baby, he’s just going to be like a little me. I swear interests will be fairly the same. You, food, sleep, footie. Simple boys.” Trent explained to you as he kissed your shoulder. You smiled hoping that was true but also knowing he was vastly oversimplifying things. 

“Do you have a name picked out? Are you keeping ‘TAA’ initials? Wait.. does Teddy know? What does she think?” Winnie rattled questions at you at lightning speed.

“Sheesh, Winn. Slow down please. Teddy does know. I think she’s on board but I don’t think she understands that after he arrives that he’s staying so we’ll see how that goes.” You laughed and Winnie hummed. “Names… Well, I have my opinion and T has his so I don’t know. To a degree I kind of felt like some little nod to dad would be nice.” You kept talking, explaining your current name debacle. You and Trent had talked about this at length. The only thing you had decided though was that you wanted to keep the initials ‘TAA.’ Aside from that, you and Trent just sat around throwing ‘T’ names at each other saying them all day. Trent often saying his suggestions as if it was an announcement at Anfield. 

“And number 6…” He paused his dramatics for a quick caveat. “I don’t want him to take 66 so thinking he can have half of my number.” He clarified to you and you nodded. “Trey Alexander-Arnold.’ Good, no? I kind of like it because he’d be the third ‘TAA’ kind of vibe I think.” He looked at you with a smile fairly proud of his idea. 

“So you’ll just ignore Tyler’s initials…” You cooed gently with a teasing smirk. Trent rolled his eyes wrapping his arm around your neck pulling you into his chest in a headlock. 

“You’re just so funny, huh?” He huffed, kissing your head and then releasing you. “Yes, I know. But this is also my family so he’d be the… You know what fine, scratch Trey. Now I’m not going to be able to think about anything but how salty Tyler would be. Thanks for sending me back to square one, baby.” He muttered with a huff. 

“Aww. I’m sorry, T. It was a cute name though but yeah square one, sorry. I will not listen to that argument for the rest of my life.” You cooed, caressing his cheek with your thumb. Back to square one you went, the list of names fluctuating between lengthening and shortening every couple days as you added some and ruled out others. It was all quite nice for the moment. Everyday was kind of exciting because you’d get a call from a family member or a friend who had received the news. You decided you’d hand deliver your announcement to Dianne, she deserved that. That said, Dianne aside, your only other delivery was to Marcel.

“Oh are you serious…” you whined. “You definitely already knew. I can read you like a fucking book. Who told you!” You yelped with a bit of a laugh leaning over your kitchen island slapping at Marcel. You definitely could read him like a book but it also wasn’t that hard. Lying wasn’t a strong suit in the family across the board but Marcel was particularly bad at it. His contrived reaction to your announcement confirming just that. 

“I’m sorry! Teddy told me in a backwards way and then I asked Trent but he told me you wanted to tell me so here we are. Can I know what you’re having now?” He asked with a cheeky smile that also ran in this family. 

“I still want you to find the gender with Ty. I just wanted to talk to you first. You’re important to me. You really are the best uncle to Teddy.” You began to start the conversation of why you wanted to hand deliver this news specifically to him. 

“And you’ve told Ty this, correct?” He interrupted you and you rolled your eyes subsequently. “I'm kidding, I’m kidding, go on.” He laughed not realizing how serious you were being. 

“You’re Teddy’s Celly and her best friend but in all seriousness how good you are with our kids aside. Even though this is exciting,I just wanted to talk about… me and you. Sometimes you and I get caught in banter and brother-sister type things which is fine, I love it, I just need you to know that I know what T does for me… Obviously, he and I’ve talked but Marce I also know what you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t have survived without your friendship. You are my best friend before you’re my brother, honest. You’re just really important to me and I want to make sure you and I are good because… I love you a lot.” You softly smiled at him hoping your confessional was going to be received well.

“Fuck… wow.” He choked out a little taken aback hearing your voice begin to shake a little. “I love you too. Y/N, I don’t think I ever thought you didn’t know what Trent does for you. You guys have one of the healthiest relationships I know. You value each other, I know that. You’re my best friend as well. I won’t be telling the boys that but yeah, I know.” You shook your head with a little giggle. Naturally, he wasn’t going to get soft on you without a little humor. “We’re fine. Promise. It just feels like I’ve lost him as a brother, sometimes. It’s strange that we went from messing about in L12 and now, I know I see everyone still, but it’s not just… us. Sorry it’s stupid.” You tried not to pout at him. Marcel gave you a little more than you thought he would. You were slightly worried he wouldn’t open up. 

“I’m sorry it feels that way. I can’t really totally wrap my head around his trajectory myself and what that must have felt like at home. I know how you feel though to a degree, having to share him feels wrong because he’s just our Trent and not this global figure to us but as much as we have to accept that’s kind of the way it is, you haven’t lost anyone.” You wanted to comfort him but you knew it was an abnormal situation. You just wanted to make sure he was okay. You really meant it, he was like a little brother.

“Nah, I know that as well. It’s been mad though to have all this happen and then like don’t get me wrong I love Teddy, she's goated, a pain in my ass, but she’s amazing and like I said I love you as well” He smiled prefacing his next statement. “But just on top of footie he’s just got this whole other life that I’m not in.” He puffed out some air, not happy to be admitting to his feelings. You weren’t a younger sibling but you understood and related to how bizarre it was to live in this very abnormal situation less than 1% of the world experienced. 

“Marce… You are very much so a part of this life, our life, and his life. I think you should tell him this kind of stuff because seriously, you and Ty are literally a part of every single day and if you’re not physically here bothering me, you’re in that annoying group chat that doesn’t stop. I totally empathize with this kind of grappling with growing up… I’m not saying you’re not grown, just that I know I really struggle to accept that we’re not what we were or maybe aren’t in the same place anymore, you know in our favorite places but we always find new ones. I found one with you all, no?” You smiled coming around the counter hugging him from the side, laying your head on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, course. New favorite places.” He mumbled out leaning his head onto yours. “I like our places together.” He muttered. 

“Yeah, me too. Those are the good ones. Your pain in the ass Teddy included.” You giggled, squeezing him once more before letting go. “What do you want to do for lunch before the match?” You asked, jumping back into normalcy.  

“Erm… anything really but Y/N, I am happy you know for you, and for him. I love your family and you being a part of our family, and obviously Ted.” Marcel shuffled in his chair. 

“I know. I know that.” You smiled, turning to grab your phone off the counter. After said match, the group chat lit up as it always did filling with who was coming over to your house. You needed a headcount, they never gave you for food but you always had a general idea, the usual cohort of rowdy boys in your cinema. Teddy gassed with the attention and chaos. 

“Come on, Teddy girl. You don’t want to be with all these icky boys anymore. We’re going to eat.” You cooed, coming to grab Teddy from them. She wasn’t going to eat what they were and she needed to eat her dinner at the kitchen table. You didn’t want to taunt her with whatever they were indulging in. 

“Too many, mama.” She told you, climbing off a couch next to George. He dramatically acted offended. You scooped up Teddy and kissed Trent’s head. 

“One more soon though.” Trent pipped up and you shook your head at his delivery.

“Sorry?” George looked at Trent with a confused look. It was a game of who could put together the dots the fastest. All of the boys in the room had received the newspaper announcements and said their congratulations but not until this moment, had anyone discussed your baby further.

“Shut the fuck up…” Marcel’s jaw slacked. He sat up in his chair. “Oh my days Project TAA, we get fucking project TAA. Bro!” He yelped. Thus the real chaos ensued as all the boys collectively freaked out. You gave a few hugs but you let them all pop off about Trent having a son.

“Do my boobs look bigger?” You asked Trent looking down at your chest before you looked at him. He gave you a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes. You knew he wasn’t exactly complaining but you weren’t asking about his preference for the visuals he was getting in the bedroom, you were asking about how they looked in the top Prada had sent for you to wear to their show in Milan tonight. 

“Your boobs look amazing, baby.” Trent confirmed. They did look good. They were a bit more ‘plump’ than normal. He leaned back on his hands behind him on the mattress with a grin really enjoying how you looked. He licked over his lips.

“I can’t wear this.” You huffed unzipping the tight top. You stood there just in your sheer organza pants and satin high heels now topless. You watched Trent’s eyes light up. Your gaze flashed to his crotch unintentionally but the way he was sitting with his legs spread wide had your mouth watering. Your hormonal flares were getting the better of you. “I’m so horny for you, T.” You whined moving towards him, running your hands over his bare chest. 

“Wow, baby. I forgot this is what you being pregnant was like.” Trent smiled greedily, wrapping his arms around you pulling you to sit on his lap. His face coming close to yours. His lips ghosting over yours. 

“And I’m so sensitive now.” You moaned, pushing your lips into his for a passionate kiss. You moved his hands from your back around you and up your body, over your nipples. 

“Arrgh. We gotta go baby.” He groaned feeling your tits in his hand but trying to not let himself fall into your trap and get lost in you. 

“Come on, T, please.” You begged him. You didn’t need to beg. Trent would fuck you but you actually really did need to leave if you wanted to make it to the show on time and you still needed to put on a top despite Trent’s preference to your current state. 

“You love Prada. Let’s go sweet girl. You know I can’t say no to you so you have to get off of me.” He laughed at himself knowing the longer you stayed put on his lap with minimal clothing on the thinner and thinner his resilience was getting.    

“Fine, fine, but you owe me.” You huffed annoyed that he wouldn’t just take you right then. You were genuinely so horny for him you were praying you’d be able to make it through your night. “I’m just going to wear the sweatshirt.” You got off his lap and stood up looking around the room for the second option for a top for your look. “That still looks chic right?” You asked Trent awkwardly pulling the Prada Oversized cashmere and shearling sweatshirt over your head in an effort to not get any makeup on the cream color. 

“Nah, it looks sick baby. I like it.” Trent cooed standing up with a puff of air trying to collect himself. 

“Are you sure? I could always change.” You deviously smiled, beginning to peel the sweatshirt off again.

“I’m fuming right now that I’m saying this but can you please keep your clothes on f’me.” He gave you a massive smile and a disapproving head shake as he laughed pulling the fabric back down. This was a couple months ago and your horniness for Trent and your larger tits had not changed. Despite the World Cup being some amount of time away you found yourself in a similar situation trying on clothes, asking for his opinions but back home in your bedroom. Trent was in bed, he deemed your late night activity unnecessary but still entertained you. You were digging through your entire wardrobe trying to find just the right top. To no avail, you came out in a defeated huff. Trent smiled seeing you act so childish over something trivial. 

“C’mere baby. You’ll look great regardless. Just come to bed. It’s really not that big of a deal.” He tried to reason with you but it was a big deal… to you. Pulling together looks for a big tournament where you were playing a secondary role was insane but you did it nonetheless because well, you liked dressing up. Doing this insanity while pregnant? Not nearly as fun. 

“Nothing, and I’m actually serious, nothing looks good.” You complained, crawling on your bed towards him. You laid next to him and let him pull your tired body into his. He turned your chin to look up at him and kissed your lips. You hummed returning his kiss. “I’ve missed you.” You whined, pulling away from the kiss momentarily. 

“I’ve missed you more. Promise.”  He pecked your lips again as he tightened his arms around you. You hadn’t actually been apart long enough, only an away game, to warrant any sane person to say they missed one another but you two? You really did. The way his warm body felt against yours felt like heaven. His familiar comforting yet equally sexy scent encased you. His arms felt firm like he’d never let go and you didn’t want him to ever. His breath slowed as he looked deep into your eyes. You felt a shiver run up your spine staring back at him. “Turn around, baby.” He whispered close to you, turning your body in his arms letting your back now press into his chest. He leaned his head down and began kissing behind your ear. Your brain couldn’t really even process anything, you just felt this sense of relief and comfort being held by him in addition to this primal urge to get him to fuck you. You didn’t say anything. You let him work kisses down your neck as you pushed your ass against his hardening cock. “You want me to make you feel good?” He hummed as you let his hands roam over you, peeling your clothes off slowly. He relished in the sight of your now naked body against his. You tried to roll your hips back into him needing more. 

“T, fuck me, please.” You begged him desperately. His lips pulled into a teasing smile against your skin. It wasn’t long before he was sliding his length inside you. His hands all over you.

“You want me to fuck you? Show me how bad you want it then, baby.” He whispered against your neck. He steadied his hips behind you and let you move against him. You pushed further against him, taking more and more of his length inside of you. You were wet enough that his cock slid in without a struggle. Needy as ever you bounced your hips on your own, fucking yourself. “That’s right, baby. Good girl.” He smiled, enjoying your desperation. “Use me however you like to. Go on.” He groaned. 

“Please. T, baby. I need you.” You whined and he caved, giving into your pleas. You tipped your head back and Trent took advantage of the space returning his lips to your neck. He nibbled on your sensitive skin, scraping his teeth against you, marking you in the millionth way that you were his. You felt the knot in your stomach grow tighter as one of Trent’s hands slid to massage your tits cheekily pulling on your nipples. His other hand slid down in front of you coming to play with your clit and began to circle harshly around it. You couldn’t stay quiet as your orgasm got closer and closer. You clenched your pussy tighter around him. He moaned your name, unable to think about anything but you and how good you felt, the pleasure consumed all his thoughts.You shut your eyes as you awkwardly turned your head to kiss his lips. 

“Cum on my cock, baby. Be a good girl and cum f’me.” He sweetly whispered in your ear in contrast to his crass words. The pleasure started to be too much to control. Your pussy clenched tight around him as your body was filled with white hot pleasure. Your warm, wet, and tight walls were becoming too much for Trent to manage. “Can you do that for me, baby? Huh?” His thrusts were mind-numbingly perfect. Your eyes were shut tight but you nodded eagerly for him. Trent held you so tightly, completely flush against him. His pace had become relentless, his hips unforgiving as he moved, driving his cock in and out of you, consistently hitting a spot so deep inside you. Swiftly he was twitching and fucking you full of his cum.

“Fuck T…” you whined feeling his thrusts continue but slow. He emptied himself with slow lazy pumps. He didn't stop though as he came. He kept fucking you at a slower pace though as he watched his release seem from your pussy fucking it back into you untill you came once more for him.

“I love you so much, baby.” He hummed kissing your shoulder. He cuddled up to you keeping his strong arms wrapped around your frame. 

“I love you, T.” You sleepily cuddled back into him. He kissed the back of your head and pulled you closer into him.  You fell asleep just like that in the most loving embrace possible.

There was a World Cup friendly ahead of this summer’s tournament. In an unexpected turn of events the once very exciting information that the World Cup was going to be held in the United States was now one of inconvenience. By the end of the tournament you’d be a month or so out from your due date and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to fly risking the possibility of attending a potential final, should England make it that far in the tournament. You needed to have your baby in England. You could’ve tried to make arrangements to work around staying in New York for the birth but it didn’t make sense, at least not to you.

“I’m not even listening to them.” Lauren laughed keeping her eyes fixed on Trent and Jude filming a relaxed interview together for the England Youtube page. “Just want to sit on his lap, you know?” She cooed to you with a devious smirk, eyes staying put. 

“Laurennn…” You reprimanded her even though you knew Teddy wouldn’t have picked up on her innuendo. “Can you see dada, hmm?” You squeezed Teddy to you as she sat in your lap. You were sitting crossed legged on a turf pitch with your cheek pressed to the side of hers.  It was fairly hot and not an easy position for you to get in and out of but it’s where you currently were. Teddy nodded following your finger pointing to a monitor relaying the video of them as it was being filmed. “Fine, they look good to be fair.” You quipped to Lauren with a smug smile agreeing with her sentiment of wanting to sit on your respective man's laps as you watched Trent adjust in his seat raising his hips upwards. 

“What dada talking bout?” Teddy turned and asked you before letting her head fall back onto your chest lazily.  

“Footie.” You told her. Frankly, you hadn’t really been listening but you assumed that’s what they were on about.  She gave you a sort of blank ‘oh…’ in response that made you smile. “ What? You’re not interested in footie?” You asked her just interested in what was going on in her little brain before Trent and Jude broke out into a big laugh about god knows what. You couldn’t really hear their conversation because of their distance from you but the sound carried. They were yapping and laughing away as usual regardless. 

“Want to laugh with dada and Judey too, mama.” Teddy complained hearing and seeing their laughter. She was jealous. They looked like they were having so much fun and yet they weren’t including her. The ultimate offense. Your eyes were fixed on the monitor but Teddy was trying to see how far away she really was from where they were sitting to see if she could get there. 

“When they’re done, okays?” You cooed gently with a kiss to her hair. You gave her a cuddle and she sighed dramatically letting her body limply fall sideways on to Lauren’s lap as well. She was definitely inheriting some of Trent’s dramatics. 

“What? You’re just too cool to be with us now? You’re not having fun so you want to go be with the boys instead?” Lauren teased tickling Teddy’s tummy eliciting a giggly squirm before she pulled her entirely into her lap. “Wait, Ted. No, no, no!” Lauren hushly but sternly tried to call out as Teddy broke away from her in childish defiance running towards Jude and Trent. She even had the cheek to turn her head back to look at Lauren with a conniving smile as she did it. It was a jarringly similar grin to Trent’s that made you shake your head. 

“Think we’ve got an intruder, lads.” Jude announced, watching Teddy clumsily step over wires and cords around where they were filming. Lauren stood up and attempted to chase after her but the crew had welcomed her in before she could nab her. Jude laughed seeing Lauren’s face grappling between slight panic and a sly grin thinking this was a little funny. You were stuck as is because no shot you were going to be able to stand up on your own from your seat on the grass in time and you certainly weren’t going to run. 

“Oh, sorry.” Trent smiled, turning to see his little girl. “Are we able to cut for a second? This isn’t live, right?” Trent asked, really trying to remember if they said this was going to be streamed or something. They told him he was fine so he stuck out his arms to reach out for Teddy who was currently trying her best to navigate as carefully as she could through the cameras. “Sorry.” Trent apologized once more before grunting, picking up Teddy and lifting her over some equipment. “C’mere Ted. What are you doing, silly girl?” He asked her. She just shrugged with a giggle. 

“Did you get bored with mummy and Lauren? We do too.” Jude asked her teasingly with a wink to you and Lauren who was now just opting to sit back down. You couldn’t hear his question but you heard your respective names and rolled your eyes in sync. 

“Want to play a game with us?” Josh, the host of their interview, asked Teddy. Her eyes lit at the question. A game with daddy and Judey, absolutely… well and also with this stranger. Josh looked to Trent for his approval to include Teddy in a small game but very quickly he then turned to you for your opinion. You didn’t really know the context so you implied it’d be up to his discretion. “Come here sweetheart. Want to play a game with Jude and your daddy?” Teddy shyly hid behind Trent’s legs. 

“You’re okay, baby. Want to play or no, hmm?” Trent cooed, pulling one of Teddy’s curls straight and then letting it bounce back. She sheepishly nodded. He nodded his head towards Josh for her to go over. Teddy looked back towards you and you smiled and waved reassuring her despite not having really any idea what was happening. “Go on, yeah? We’ll have fun!” Trent reassured her. You knew she was fine as long as Trent was with her. Josh explained a game the crew made up on the spot. The boys would each have a guess and write what they thought the answer Teddy would give to a question on a white board. 

“Alright, so we’ve got Teddy Alexander-Arnold with us for our next little segment. Mum’s given us a go ahead?” Josh spoke to the camera and looked to Trent for confirmation. He nodded as Josh rattled on a further explanation of the instructions before they began.  “What do daddy and Jude do for work?” Josh asked, looking down at Teddy who had plopped herself onto the turf picking at it with her hands. She tilted her head up to give her answer when he gave her the go ahead. 

“Play.” Teddy responded nonchalantly and fairly disinterested before flicking her gaze back to the grass. Josh laughed a little at her answer. Trent wasn’t phased by her attention. He turned his board around to show the correct answer with a smug smile. 

“Nah, not having that.” Jude snapped annoyed. He leaned closer to Teddy. “Ted, but what do we play? You’re not saying footie? Also, I don’t know why I’m slightly offended by your answer.” Jude started to laugh at Teddy's belittlement of their careers teasing her reaching over to poke at her pudgy tummy.

“Yeah huh, Judey. Play footie with my daddy.” Teddy clarified with a giggle wiggling away from him. Jude had written ‘Footie’ on his board. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Can’t be trying to coerce her into an answer. She said ‘play’ not ‘footie’ you lost the point. Me and my baby bear just vibe different, mate.” Trent quipped back. Josh laughed a little at the back and forth. Trent leaned off his seat and kissed Teddy’s hair.  

“Alright, alright. One nil to Trent. Another question for you, sweetheart. What team do you think will win the World Cup?” Josh asked the next question and gave the boys a minute to write their answers. 

“Libpool.” Teddy answered with a bit more of a yelp and giggle, very certain and proud of her answer. Both boys turned their boards around begrudgingly with incorrect answers throwing their heads with a groan. Teddy looked at Trent confused and a little disheartened with their reaction.     

“Baby… Yeah, that’s a good answer but what team do Jude and I play together on. Where do we live?” Trent tried to clarify for her. As much as Trent was amazing if not perfect with Teddy he could never quite drop his competitiveness, he wanted to win. 

“Libpool, dada.” Teddy doubled down. Trent ran his hands over his face. Josh laughed. 

“Teddy girl.” Jude shook his head with a goofy smile. “I don’t play in Liverpool. You know I don’t live near you. We have to talk on the phone usually, don’t we?” He gently explained trying to direct her to the correct answer.

“This isn’t really fair though is it though because her answer is wrong.” Trent quipped trying to rationalize why the game wasn’t going to work. Teddy tried to complain, not really appreciating the fact that Trent was talking about her like she wasn’t there. 

“Mate, the game is guessing her answer though.” Jude snapped, interrupting Teddy. She stood up and grabbed his arm. 

“Judey! Listen!” All three boys laughed seeing Teddy come out of her shell a little more as she got more comfortable. “Live in England, tay? My mama not from there though but dada said can’t laugh at her.” Teddy segued into the unrelated topic about you. It was a discussion that came up recently with her of why you sounded different. You american accented words versus Trent’s made her laugh. 

“Right, we won’t make fun of mummy, alright?” Jude told Teddy and she nodded. “But you’re English still and that’s who you’re supposed to say is going to win, Teddy girl.” He explained to her as she pulled herself up to sit in Jude’s lap.They carried on with more questions and banter. It was a little while later on when she started to get tired. She wasn’t even involved in the video at this point. She just was chilling. You were gossiping away to Lauren who wasn’t really listening as much as she was just watching Jude be sweet with your little girl. Teddy started to get worked up in Jude’s arms though beginning to progressively get more fussy as she got more tired. 

“Uh oh! Want to just go be with daddy?” Jude cooed gently as Teddy began to start crying. She nodded sadly with a hushed ‘pleabs.” He kissed her before passing her to Trent’s outstretched arms. 

“Not having that?” Josh asked Jude with some cheek as Teddy continued to cry. 

“Nah, that’s why I love Ted. I just hand her off when she gets upset.” Jude laughed as Trent rolled her eyes as he whispered asking Teddy what was wrong. ”To be fair, she’s so chill more often than not. My only beef is that she won’t wear my Madrid jersey but I think that’s more of an issue I’m taking up with him.” Jude laughed with a smirk.

“Aw, baby C’mon. Going to be okay. Let’s go sit with mama, okay?” Trent cooed, kissing Teddy holding her as she cried ‘mama’ on repeat. “Can I just pop over to my wife quick?” Trent asked in the general direction of the men behind the cameras as he was already standing up. He knew that no one wanted to hear Teddy wailing before even asking. The director nodded. 

“Oh, is mummy asleep on daddy.”  Lauren giggled, bouncing Teddy on her hip walking back into your living room holding a glass of wine in her other hand noticing you. You’d passed out laying on Trent. She had come to stay for a little to spend some time with you and to help out with the nursery you desperately needed to finish.

“Uh huh… my mama lub my dada so um they um have baby.” Teddy explained squirming in her arms to put her down. Lauren bent over and placed her on the carpet. Teddy immediately took off running to the couch jumping on Marcel who had come over. 

“Yeah mummy has a baby. You must be sleepy like mummy though, no?” Lauren cooed carefully sitting herself on the white couch keeping her glass of wine steady. 

“Nos.” She giggled despite it actually getting close to her bedtime.

“I think you are…” Lauren cooed, pulling on one of her legs hanging over Marel’s lap. “Have to set a good example for your baby brother. Don’t want him to be like Celly do you?” Lauren teased.  

“The stray was so unnecessary.” Marcel quipped with an eye roll.   

“I like Celly, Lauwen. No bruber though. No tanks al zander arnol girls only.” Teddy explained through stumbling words, sitting upright hugging Marcel. 

“Yeah, you’ll still be Alexander-Arnold girls. Why don't you want a baby brother though? If you had a sister you'd have to share all your cute clothes like mummy has to with Winnie.” Lauren laughed.  

“Shares a generous word.” You slowly and groggily spoke coming out of sleep.

“Mummyyy!” Teddy squealed hearing you, crawling off Marcel towards you and Trent on the couch. 

“Hi baby. You’re so cute and so loud.” You laughed watching her make her way to you. “Come here, yeah?” You cooed bringing her into you and Trent.  

The following weeks were a bit hectic with the World Cup fast approaching. Trent was so busy and you just the same so it was fairly common that someone from your family helped out with Teddy. Frankly, you really needed to accept the fact that you might need a babysitter eventually because this was getting even more overwhelming as your due date came closer as well. Marcel had just begun dating this girl Gracie. Maybe ‘begun’ wouldn’t be the word considering you met her years ago and they had a whole situationship before this current relationship. She was sweet and you liked her. Cute, fairly meek, not in a negative way but she definitely was trying to “fit in” with your family so she wasn’t the most outspoken at the moment. It was a lot for you to walk into but for her it was a little different and slightly more strange. She’d actually known the Alexander-Arnold family longer than you did but since Trent was so successful and famous now it was almost an entirely new environment. That said, she definitely just wanted to be liked by all the people that felt like permanent stays like you… and Teddy. 

“Excuse me, my Celly.” Teddy reprimanded Gracie, moving her hand off of Marcel. She was attempting to make it clear that Marcel was hers as you all sat at a restaurant for lunch on a random day. Having someone with you and Teddy all day made such a difference so you took the liberties of going out for something fun and leisurely when you did.

“Okay, I’m sorry sweetheart.” Gracie gently apologized, running her hand over her hair. Teddy didn’t concede though. She just kept her unimpressed glare on her. Marcel laughed a little at Teddy’s upset and Gracie’s kindness. 

“This is my Celly. Tay?” Teddy yelled. Your eyes widened. You knew she was possessive of Trent and you but this was really the first outburst about someone else. It wasn’t all that surprising though that the someone else was Marcel though. 

“Teddy girl…” You cautioned her. That's really all it took. It was a tone she knew well. “Can we be polite please? That’s not very nice.” You asked her. You mouthed a ‘sorry’ to Gracie. You wanted to really tell her that jealousy was not the way to get a man. She frowned at you and then her face pulled into offense as she watched the biggest betrayal, Marcel wrapping his arm around Gracie.

“It’s okay, really.” Gracie assured you brushing off Teddy’s sass. You smiled and so did she.  “We can share him, yeah?” She gave a toothy smile to Teddy before pecking Marcel’s cheek. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back  

“Nooooo mine!” She yelled and you immediately looked at her with wide eyes and a shake of the head. You were fast approaching the delightful stage of toddler tantrums. Teddy was really well behaved but sometimes she just didn’t know any better way to communicate her feelings. She sat in her chair as her eyes welled with tears, upset with Marcel and Gracie and now upset she had done something wrong. 

“Oh my little teddy bear.” Marcel pouted at her. “Come here. You’re still my best friend, hmm?” He leaned over and tried to pick her up but her tears began to fall as she rejected him. 

“You’re okay, baby. Celly loves you, promise. Come sit with me. I got you.” You grabbed her out of her seat knowing she wouldn’t say no to you. She wrapped herself around your neck and sniffled. “You didn’t eat any of your chips, my cute girl. You love them. Want to eat some with mummy?” You cooed and she shook her head ‘no’ but she contradicted herself when she eventually turned back to the table to grab one of your plate. 

“I have?” Teddy asked Gracie sheepishly, reaching a chip towards her plate close to yours that had a bit of ketchup on it. 

“Of course, Teddy. I'll share with you” Gracie smiled and pushed her plate and thus the ketchup a little closer to her. She shoved her chip into the ketchup and then into her mouth with a greedy smile and a hum. You and Marcel exchanged eye rolls at her. She was very cute and always managed to get her way. 

“I’m fucking worried 25 hours a day.” You cried over the phone. You couldn’t even Facetime. You couldn’t bear to look at Trent right now. The World Cup did not end how you would’ve wanted it to but nevertheless Trent and Jude and a few other England teammates had stayed out in California for some time off. You had flown back immediately after the team was knocked out. You were so close to your due date you didn’t want to leave anything to chance, have any complications or be told you couldn't fly home after their departure in the Semifinals so you and Teddy were back home alone sans Trent.

“Baby… come on.” Trent groaned tired from his night out. “Just don’t deep it please.” It was like he forgot who he was talking to. Like the difference in your time zones wasn’t the only thing disconnecting you two. Trent rolled in the massive bed he was staying in really wishing you were in right now. He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, disgruntled, not even sure how he had just got home. He was very drunk. It was maybe three or almost four am for Trent and late morning for you back home. It wasn’t how you anticipated your day starting and suddenly you felt the tides of your afternoon changing. 

“I mean who was there? Are there photos? Like why are you telling me this?” You rattled quickly in a panic after Trent had sort of unintentionally but intentionally filled you in on his night. They had gone to a club. Not your favorite thing in the world but you knew he was going out. What you were unaware of was that they were joined by… let’s just say a man who was a “promoter”  out in LA but that title really didn’t encapsulate what he did for a living. You knew nightlife. You knew it well in fact and you knew of this man and you knew that the England players request to blow off steam wasn’t just coming with bottles it was coming with bottle girls. 

“I don’t knowww. I just don’t want you to be caught out if someone says something shitty on twitter, alright beautiful?” Trent whined, throwing his head back into a pillow. You could hear other people in the house with him. He clearly was alone in his room or if someone was there they were dead quiet but you knew there were other people there.

“Well, why would they have something to say? What was happening?” You asked, feeling a bit nauseous and you weren’t sure if it was a symptom of your pregnancy or the vagueness of Trent’s borderline black out drunk phone call. 

“Nah, nothing baby. Wish you were here with me, you know.” He segued into another conversation entirely. You didn’t know if he intended to do this or if he was just drunk enough to not remember what he was talking about. He poorly attempted to convince you to have phone sex with him. You usually wouldn’t be opposed but like this? No. He was wasted, it was almost the afternoon for you, there was this weird tension and secrecy about what his night actually consisted of was putting you off. 

“Okay, can you just go to sleep for me, T and get some water before, please.” You tried to calm yourself down just thinking more about his well being and the pain in the ass he'd be when he’d inevitably call you complaining he didn’t feel well wanting you to baby him when he woke up after this. You tried to say goodnight but you definitely didn’t miss the female voices echoing in the house and one in particular calling his name. He knew. He knew you heard it as well. He was too drunk to process how to handle this appropriately. Another woman's voice calling his name close to four in the morning wasn’t a great look for him and it wasn’t a great feeling for you. For some reason it really bothered you that it was an American accent. He couldn’t think quickly enough to act or say anything before you had hung up. You must’ve hit decline 50 times after that. His vision blurred. Trent didn’t leave his room that night, he slept alone.  

“You know why I’m here.” Tyler gently spoke to you standing at your front door. You had waited for this all day after you’d seen the predicted photos emerge on football gossip sites alike. You didn’t want to see them but people would just DM them to you unprovoked. It was so invasive and so… sad. You did not want to see the thread putting together that the interior of the house from this LA model’s Instagram story was the same one in the photo Jude had shared. You didn’t want to see the screenshot of another stranger's story they posted unintentionally capturing a woman standing in between Trent’s legs at the club and you most certainly did not want to see the photo where you could not make out where his hands had disappeared to.

“Yeah, sure. On cue, no?” You snapped a little unfairly at Tyler as you let him inside. You rolled your eyes not really even greeting him. You knew Trent had sent Tyler over that night. You didn’t know what time it was on the west coast, you could’ve looked but you were ignoring Trent. You were raging. 

“You know it’s just misinformation nothing happened.” Tyler tried to reassure you that the photos were just nonsense but frankly this had happened one too many times. It wasn’t like you really had the image that Trent could actually go through with having sex with someone else but you just didn’t like that he was even entertaining another woman. It made you sick because you’d imagine he’d be comparing her to you.  

“No, I’m tired of ‘nothing happened,’ ‘it’s just a photo,’ ‘it looks worse than it was.’ It isn’t always about international footballer Trent Alexander Arnold’s image… Do you know what a fucking mug I look like? Sitting at home with his daughter and pregnant with his son? Why is he even entertaining it… why is he there to begin with?” You really lost it. You couldn’t hold it together anymore. Tears started to fill your lash line but you wiped them away with a tired gruff. You knew this was your brother in law but this was also Tyler’s job. 

“Y/N…” Tyler cautioned you trying to not let you get too worked up but the ball was already rolling. You couldn’t stop the crying. 

“No, I’m fucking sick of this. I can’t handle this” You sobbed. You gripped the kitchen counter top before just slamming your phone onto it and leaving the room. Tyler sighed letting you go, he knew you deserved to be mad. He wasn’t going to fight you on it but he was concerned by what you meant by your ability to ‘handle’ this. The thing that really sucked about being mad at Trent in these situations was that you would never keep him from Teddy. It was a little annoying that there had been multiple of these as well but you weren’t going to let his indiscretions or your anger towards him take away from her relationship with him. That said… you didn’t want to be there so you made Tyler call him with her before she went to bed.  

“Baby, where’s mummy?” Trent asked Teddy as he Facetimed Tyler who held her sitting on a stool at your kitchen island.  

“Um.. mama’s sad, dada. Sad in beddy, thinks.” Teddy babbled unknowingly, kind of spilling the fact that you’d really been upset over this. He knew that but knowing Teddy was conscious of it broke his heart all the more. Tyler’s eyes widened not realizing Teddy had even picked up on that.  “Why mama sad?” Teddy asked innocently.

“Mummy is tired.” Trent sighed. “Can you give her a big kiss from me?” Trent cooed kind of wishing he could just give you one himself.  

“Mate, you gotta get home now. This one was out of order.”  Tyler put Teddy down and readjusted in his seat. “She’s tired of your shit.” He quipped at Trent. 

“Ty, I didn’t do anything!” Trent yelped defending his innocence. 

“Bro, I’m not questioning that but they’re dragging her online, they’re dragging you. It’s a mess and you need to take care of your wife and your daughter. I’m worried about Y/N.” Tyler replied in a serious tone. “You lost and it was a shitty way to go out of the tournament but this was dumb. Get your ass home. You’re not 19 bro.” Tyler really drove home his point that Trent needed to leave asap. Tyler always had a delivery that made Trent shutter. He would never not make Trent feel young and naive. 

“Please come here, okay?” Trent trailed behind you in your bedroom when he returned to England days before he had anticipated. He listened to Tyler and left that night, returning the next morning for home. 

“T… I’m upset. Let me be upset. You can’t just make me change my mind to make you feel better.” You snapped turning around to look at him frustratingly. The only words you’d heard for the past couple hours were ‘I’m sorry’ and you weren’t all that convinced by them. 

“It’s not about me. It’s about our relationship. I’m sorry.” Trent frowned at you. He genuinely was apologetic, you knew that but it was almost agitating you more because he knew he had put himself in a stupid situation knowingly. It also was agitating you that you felt like you wanted to disappear realizing you were about to have a new born baby and embark on another fresh hell of your postpartum body again. You didn’t want to think about him with other women ever and certainly not right now given how you felt you looked.

“It is about you because who looks bad? I do and you're unphased. I’m upset Trent. It’s fine, okay? I let you do what you need to do. I get it you’re a ‘baller’ or whatever and you guys all love showing this sort of lifestyle.” Trent wanted to interrupt you and correct you. That wasn’t true. Trent didn’t really push that narrative but it just backed your point up a little better if he had. “But you know where I am… you know that I am carrying your fucking baby right now and your calling me what? While some girl is in the fucking house? Why is someone calling your name at 3:56 am? Tell me.” You tore into him remembering the exact time you’d hung up on him. “Why is there another American girl calling your name? Tell me about your night with her… Did you call me after… Did you call me because you felt guilty?” You started crying, gasping for breaths unable to control it.   

“That’s not fair. You know that’s not true or what happened here.” Trent pleaded for some sort of mercy but he knew he fucked up. You hadn't necessarily accused him of cheating, it was sort of hinted at but that wasn’t the point. You were upset about how shitty seeing his hands near another woman was making you feel about yourself.

“Fair! You want to talk about fair!?” You yelled between sobs. You stuck your hand out to distance him from coming any closer to you when he tried.

“Y/N… I’m sorry. God, I’m such a fucking idiot. I was just trying to be chilled and relax with the boys. I didn’t want to make a big deal because I was getting chirped for being such a dad.” He woefully tried to explain, unknowingly digging his hole a bit deeper.  

“Hey, hmm maybe because you are a dad.” You sarcastically rolled your eyes. “But you’re right… teammates over us always. Got it. Made that one proper clear.” You continue to sort of take digs at him for things that maybe weren’t the most accurate, and definitely a little too harsh  maybe. You didn’t feel that way but your insecurity about the photos and that familiar valley girl accent was haunting you. 

‘Hey, baby… the attitude isn’t necessary. I'm trying to apologize.” He looked at you both with a stern face not appreciating the jab knowing you two had to get through this but also absolutely terrified he’d upset you like this. 

“Well you shouldn’t have to apologize, you shouldn’t be doing this shit. You’re married, you are a father of two babies by the way. So, tell me about her? What’s her name?” You snapped as your emotions continued to run high. 

“I know! I know! And I fucked up. I don’t remember anyone they invited names, baby. Honest.” Trent once again took a misstep. Honestly, he was never great in arguments. You were. Your tactics weren’t the most fair but they were poignant.

“Oh, that’s brilliant you did all this for women you can’t even remember their names. Be honest and don’t fucking lie to me… did you touch her?” You made yourself feel sick asking him as you reimagined the blurred images. 

“Baby…” He didn’t want to talk about this. Tyler was right Trent was not 19 and this was not some silly cheating scandal. Trent probably shouldn’t have been in that position but he would never cheat on you. You knew that and he knew that you did. It had nothing to do with him, it was more about the ‘woman.’ You were playing that angle though because it was easier to rationalize but both you and Trent knew that this anger and this conversation was stemming from your insecurities. 

“Did they touch you?” You pushed for him to answer you. “Tell me. Did you get tired of the fact that while I carry your child for 9 months I don’t look like some Insta baddie worthy of a post World Cup party?” It was a big unfair blow. Trent felt like you punched him in the stomach. He shut his eyes, swallowing his need to defend himself and his pride. 

“No, absolutely not…” He whispered, throwing his head trying to refrain. 

“Did you touch her?” You asked him and he paused for a bit longer than you would’ve liked. “Oh my god… fuck you. Honestly.” You cried falling into more sobs as you sat on your bed dropping your head into your hands.

“Y/N, let me at least fucking answer. No… Fine, a woman tried and I told her to get away from me. That's what the photo is. I was moving her off me, alright?” He explained.  It should’ve made you feel better but it didn’t. It wasn’t enough to shake the idea that your body currently couldn’t compete with some LA model’s.

“Why T… Why would you? Fuck… Am I not enough, you needed to seek out more? You want me to be this confident strong woman for Teddy and it’s things like this that just rip me apart. My husband, her father had other women practically in his lap… and I’m… I’m just. I can’t manage it.” You’d gotten to a place where you would always remember the pain and trouble you endured mentally from your damaged self image.You could forgive yourself, but you’d never forget all the insecurity and hatred and right now Trent’s night in LA had you remembering every piece of your past. You’d healed a lot. It was one of those situations where you had a hard time accepting your own treatment of yourself and the only person you could fault was yourself. Trent said no. It wasn’t even a competition for Trent. He’d pick you everytime but you were taking this out on him.

“You… you are more than enough. I never want anything but you. I'm so sorry I made a mistake even going but I definitely didn’t make a mistake getting myself out of there. I called you in my room, alone because I missed you, baby. It was a lapse in judgment. I’m a fucking idiot putting the most important thing in my life at risk for my ego to be cool for them.” He cooed sitting down next to you. You caught yourself sat on the bed now beside him in the mirror. It was the perfect storm. Emotions high, Trent’s error, pregnancy kicking your ass. You didn’t recognize yourself. You saw a woman who was overweight you’d never met. The problem was that you were underweight and no one could convince you otherwise. It was obsession and all you could think about as Trent yapped a heartfelt apology was that her arms, that women standing in between your husbands legs was that her arms looked thinner than yours, her collarbones raised a bit more. You weren’t sure if you really were upset about their positioning or her presenting the idea of a more attractive option to Trent. 

“T… I worry every time you leave. I really do trust you… I do but it’s like sickening sometimes knowing the temptation that is literally thrown in your lap.” You had been on a relentless and unattainable pursuit of visual perfection and that fear and distortion you hid in and it came storming back. 

“There is no temptation. There is no one that is you. No one could ever be you. Nothing could fill the void you’d leave behind if I didn’t have you. You are my world. I would crumble without you.” He began to cry.  “I’m so sorry.” He leaned his head on your shoulder attempting to take a deep breath. Trent hated arguments. He hated confrontation, and he hated that sometimes he felt like he couldn’t win against your disordered way of thinking. 

“It’s fine, T…” you whispered consoling him, cupping his cheek. You’d made progress with your health but it definitely felt like you’d revert back to old ways of thinking the second some sort of comparison was thrown at you and that’s exactly what this was. 

“It’s not, baby. I love you. God, I fucking love you.” Trent whimpered trying to reel in his own emotions. He kissed your shoulder and it made you take a deep breath. 

“I love you.” you whispered again. The words were tiny and fragile. Trent pouted seeing your tear stained face. His pout turned into a soft frown when he looked up at you. You both sat there in and out of tears. Trent was a light that gave you a strength you weren’t sure you even wanted to have sometimes. He gave you a happiness that you weren’t sure was even humanly possible and you hated that you questioned your worth despite not only the love he gave you but the belief and support. “Please, don’t stop loving me.” You barely were able to mutter out. Trent let out a defeated breath and pulled you into a hug. “I don’t think I can do it without you. Sometimes I think that this unconditional love I have for you makes me feel more insecure because I just want you to be happy and if that’s what someone else does for you. I’d let it happen” You shamefully admitted.

“Stop, baby. Never could someone make me as happy as you. I need to be better but.. You also have to be better for me. It kills me when you think like this.” Trent sighed. “I need you to know that that’s insane. I’d be insane to want anything else but you. I’m so sorry, baby. I never want to lose you.”  You could tell he was about to rant. 

“Please just shhh, baby. I don’t need an apology from you right now. I just need you.” You explained calmly and honestly just needing your husband, your Trent to hold you and so he did. You stayed quiet for a long time after that, moving to lay on your bed. 

“T… Is it okay if we don’t have sex tonight?” You sheepishly asked. You weren’t sure why you were asking. He never pressured you. You just weren’t sure you’d be able to stomach it still kind of fixated on your own insecurities. 

“What? Yeah, course. You haven’t been doing it lately because of me right? You’ve done it because you wanted to, yeah? Baby, whatever you want, I’ll do.” Trent cooed, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“No no, I’ve been fine. I just… I just want to be with my best friend tonight. I’m just a little tired and still a little sad.” You told him, hiding your face in the nape of his neck.  

“I’m right here, baby. Never ever leaving you. Won’t ever leave. I never want to hurt you and I’m sorry I did. I love you so much.” Trent cooed, pulling you into a tight embrace. He rested his chin on top of your head. 

“You can’t imagine how much I love you.” You spoke. Your voice muffled by your proximity to his skin.  

“I think I can…” He smiled, pressing a kiss to your hair. You were quiet for a moment before he pulled your face off him and held your face in his hands. “Baby?”  He cooed. You sympathetically smiled at him, still a little sad. “I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself for Teddy. If she’s anything like you when she’s older she’ll be perfect to me. Even now, when I see glimpses of you in her. It’s everything to me. That’s all I want and when I think about our little boy and Teddy the most important thing is that they know how much I love you. I just want them to not just hear me say it or see it, I want them to be able to see and feel how much I love their mum, how much I respect you and believe in you, how beautiful you are, how amazing you are and I want them to know that. We are so so lucky to have you, baby.”  You smiled and a few tears escaped. He wiped them off your smooth skin. “Tell me something.” He sat up. “Can you do me a favor?” He smiled back at you. Your brow furrowed a little surprised given the circumstances. You were about to be having a month full of gifts and you were sure about that. Post fight? Yeah. Before leaving for preseason? Surely. Push presents? Definitely. You doing something for him? Questionable. “Tell me what you think I love about you.” You shook your head in defiance. “Yeah, go on.” He nodded at you.  

“T, I don’t know!” You whined with a pout not wanting to do this. 

“Well, what do I tell you I like.” He smiled, leaning over kissing your shoulder.  

“I don’t know… my ass.” You sheepishly threw out one. He hummed and nodded for you to continue. “This is stupid.” You muttered but he gestured for you to keep talking. “My tits.” He nodded with confirmation. “My lips.” He hummed again with assurance. “My toes.” You laughed and he laughed with you knowing he recently commented that he liked your white pedicure. You were grasping at straws for ideas.  It wasn’t that Trent didn’t tell you things he liked, in fact just the opposite. 

“You’re sort of right. But baby, you could literally name any part.  I love every fucking inch of you inside and out. Your missing volumes of things I love about you. You know me, I don’t fucking like to lose and I’m not loosing this. I’m going to get you to love you the way I love you.” He wiped his thumb over your lips with a glint in his eyes. “I wish you could just see the way we see you. Be brave for me right now. Tell me what you thought when I was in LA. Like mouth off, baby. You need to learn to back yourself. Give me a ‘you’re a fucking idiot because I’m sexy.’” He gave you a cheeky smile knowing this was something you wouldn’t want to do but hoping you’d do it for him. You thought for a moment and smiled. 

“You couldn’t have created a prettier baby with anyone else.” You smiled back at him. He squinted at you. It was a little bit of a passive one. You really we’re complementing both Teddy and him in the process. 

“I’ll take it butt I was looking for more of a ‘I’m the lengest girl you’ve ever seen, you’re lucky I gave you a chance.’” He laughed and you rolled your eyes. “I want to hear one of these everyday. Remind me and yourself everyday that you’re it baby.” He kissed you a few times. 

“Thank you for loving all of my imperfections.” You smiled into the kiss. 

“They are not imperfections, they are what makes you everything you are and everything I’m madly in love with.” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tight into him. He swayed you back and forth with a hum and a few kisses. “The fact that I get to just be in your presence. Get to experience you in my life and be a part of yours, it’s the biggest blessing. I have never seen a more beautiful person inside and out, baby. Please don’t ever forget that. You’re incredible.” He kissed you a couple more times. You muttered out a ‘thank you.’ “Do you believe me?” He brushed his nose against yours. 

“I think I am starting to. I like… life with you. Our life. I feel like I used to dread the lulls and now it’s like there could never be enough time in this life with you or my babies. I just crave more of it all. You made me like to live” You giggled a little. “Sorry, I know that sounds dramatic.” You shyly smiled.  

“Good.” He kissed once more, sealing how much he loved you. Things would always be hard but progress was being made slowly and you think that’s what made you so upset. It felt like you took a few steps backwards when Trent went to LA but as he held you, you knew things were better than they’d actually ever been. You believed what he was telling you. 

“Want to go see mama and dada, Celly.” Teddy huffed, kicking her dangling legs back and forth off a chair in a hospital waiting room. You had gone into labor hours ago. Teddy wasn’t even there the whole time but she was getting restless. 

“Nah, you don’t. You want to hang with me, yeah?” Marcel laughed, pulling her towards her. She wiggled out of his hold. 

“Nosss humph.” Teddy huffed again, folding her arms over her chest. She was still holding on to some serious resentment towards him because of his relationship with Gracie.

“What’s with the attitude?” Marcel laughed a little more. He shouldn’t but he almost fueled her behavior because he thought it was funny the way she huffed about but still managed to remain really cute. 

“My Celly only, tays?”  She repeated her statement that had been on a loop lately to him. She wanted him to understand that Gracie had to go in her mind. That wasn’t really an option nor her decision but she’d try. 

“Sweetheart, come on! You're always going to be my best friend, I promise.” Marcel reassured her, picking her up and placing her on his lap. She smiled greedily and giggled happy with his confirmation. “Alright, so we’re good now?” He asked her and she nodded content that she was now sitting with him. “Good. I have some questions for you. How small do you think he’ll be?” He asked her just to keep her busy for god knows how much longer. 

“Small.” Teddy simply confirmed. He hummed, agreeing.  

“What do you think his name will be?” He asked her another question, one of many he was starting to think of.  

“Tom.” Teddy answered again very matter of fact. She said it as if she knew that was 100% correct. 100% going to be your son’s name but Marcel knew that wasn’t going to be the case. He was pretty sure he knew the names you’d narrowed it down to and ‘Tom wasn’t on that list. 

“Tom? Why?” He laughed a little at her. “You know what? Okay. My nephew Tom Alexander-Arnold. Got it.” He smiled as she nodded, verifying.   

“Did so well sweetie. I’m so proud of you.” Dianne cooed, giving you a gentle hug. You smiled at her with tear filled eyes. She and your mum were the first to come into the private room to meet your son. Early that evening you and Trent welcome your baby boy Theo James Alexander-Arnold into the world. He was perfect and there were no disagreements with that fact. Thankfully this time around both of your families were here and on time for the delivery, Trent included. 

“Let’s see him then.” Tyler came into the room shortly after to meet little Theo. You offered if he wanted to hold him but really you were having trouble even being a foot apart from him. “Ready to play in the prem, mate?” Tyler smiled running the back of his finger over his chubby cheek. This was already a running joke before you even had Teddy that there was this predetermined destiny for a child of Trent’s to play football but it really kicked off once all the boys in your life found out you were having a son. It was all in good fun of course but at the moment you were really emotional. You pouted at Trent sadly. He took Theo back from Tyler but not before giving him a reassuring nod that he was sure that that was going to happen. He kissed Theo and placed him in your arms softly.  

“No, he’s going to stay with mummy forever.” You held Theo to your skin letting his head rest against your chest as you began to cry again. “Never ever leaving my perfect baby boy.” You frowned looking at how adorable he looked. Trent hushed you sliding next to you on the hospital bed, taking a seat. “He’s so perfect. I love him.”  You explained to him but kept your eyes locked on him.

“Yeah, I know, baby. You did so well. Look at him. I actually think he looks a little like me.” Trent teased running his hand gently over his son's head.  You started blubbering crying. Trent let out a sympathetic breathy laugh at you. “Hey, just joking. It’s okay.” He kissed your forehead. 

“He looks like you. He looks just like you, T and he’s perfect… and beautiful.”  You kept crying. You were a mess. You don’t know why you felt so protective this time around. Of course you did with Teddy but you were also slightly terrified having it be your first pregnancy. 

“He’s pretty cute, huh?” Trent asked you inspecting your little boy. You nodded. Trent was emotional after Theo was born. He was balling in fact. 

“I’m so proud of you. You did so well, beautiful. You’re did so amazing.” Trent kept his lips pressed to your hair. You could feel him shake a little. He was crying. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that you had created one more little miracle that was finally in your arms. Theo Alexander-Arnold was an exact replica of Trent, marginally more than Teddy even was. You could already make out the little dimples indented in his cheeks. His nose, the shape of lips, everything was perfectly matched and perfectly cute.  “He’s everything baby. I’m so in love with him.” He cooed, eyes full of tears as he ran his hand over Theo’s head. “I am so grateful for you and all the sacrifices you’ve made for us and for him. I love you so much, beautiful.” He whimpered, leaning over more to see him. He gently nudged his nose against Theo’s tiny identical one. Theo batted his eyes open and Trent sucked in breath. The same perfectly warm deep brown eyes he had looking back at him. He fell in love instantly, completely in awe.   “He’s so beautiful. I can’t believe we made him.” You cried through a smile tugging at your lips as you inspected the tiny cherubic figure in your arms. Trent looked at you. You were absolutely glowing. Your eyes were tear stained but shining bright, filled with love. You were flush but your skin had never been softer. You were perfect. His heart swelled to the point where he got a little nervous it was possible it could burst. He would do anything for you and that little boy, Teddy too. 

“Shhh, baby. You’re okay. Just close your eyes for me, alright? Can you try to rest for a little while?” He asked you. You initially tried to say no  “Your boys will stay right here with you, I promise.” You gasped in a breath hearing ‘your boys’ for the first time in your life starting up crying again. Trent delicately took Theo out of your hold.

“Oh my gosh… You guys are making me cry stop.” Winnie cried along with you sitting in a chair in the room. Having missed your first birth she was a mess seeing you. Trent rolled his head to see Winnie pouting looking at you two.  

“Okay.. Okay.. come on though. Let’s go see mummy and daddy and your new brother.” Marcel cooed to Teddy holding her hand coming into the room. 

“Mummy matter?” Teddy yelped out too loud despite Marcel’s earlier instructions to be quiet. He laughed, shaking his head at her disregard once she saw you laying in the bed with an IV in your arm. She ran to the side of the bed Trent was seated on and he smiled with a laugh as she attempted to use him to climb onto the bed. “You tay?” She asked you, concerned. 

“I’m okay, Teddy girl. Come here, baby.” You smiled and reassured her. Winnie picked her up to help Trent and placed her on the bed between you two. “Can you say hi to your baby brother?” You asked her quietly. She tilted her head actually taking a closer look at the swaddled baby in Trent’s arms she hardly noticed before. 

“Hi baby. Is my Celly?” She asked you sitting up to peer into Trent’s arms that made you laugh a little. 

“Yeah, but this is your baby brother, Theo. Have to look after him and be the best big sister for me, okay, baby?” You cooed, running your hand over Theo’s head gently. Trent reached towards her and pulled her onto his lap with a kiss to her head and helped her hold Theo in front of him.

“Oh Tio… hmm.” Teddy spoke looking at the baby in her arms. “Hi Tio, we can share my mummy, tay?” She cooed kissing him. She was so sweet and gentle it made you start crying again. Winnie quick to follow. You guessed for the foreseeable future he would be ‘Tio’ to Teddy as opposed to ‘Theo’ with an h.

“What about daddy? Gonna share me too?” Trent asked her, dropping his head to press the side of his cheek to hers looking at Theo. 

“Nos tanks.” She replied with zero hesitation. Very sure of herself that daddy was not going to be on the table yet but she’d settle sharing you. 

“Teddy, can you watch mummy for me? I’m just going to get her a drink from the kitchen quickly, okay?” Trent asked Teddy standing up from the couch. A few days passed of having Theo in your lives and you were exhausted. You had fallen asleep next to Teddy. Theo was in a bassinet. Trent didn’t really need her to do anything but it’d make her feel important. It was important to make Teddy not feel left out despite all the focus on him. He could see and hear Theo from the kitchen and you’d be fine. You needed sleep.  

“Tay, dada.” Teddy confirmed plopping her head onto you. You shuffled a little maternally knowing it was your little girl without a thought. You pulled her into you instinctually.  

“Dada, mummy won’t let goes.” Teddy complained a little while later after Trent returned and you still hadn’t released her. She was getting bored.  

“Oh, I’m sorry baby.” He laughed. You looked happy with Teddy but he knew she was getting restless. He kissed your cheek a few times settling behind you before leaning to whisper into your ear. “Can you let go of our Teddy bear, please.” He smiled, flashing a wink up to Teddy. She giggled when you reluctantly let go of her. “C’mere. Can give me a cuddle instead, yeah?” Trent cooed pulling you back into him burying his face into the nap of your neck, kissing your skin. 

“Hello big sister.” Dianne cooed as Teddy ran to the front door to greet her after she let herself in to your house.  

“Nana shhh! Mama sleep with dada and baby.” Teddy explained to Dianne pushing her finger flush against her lips signaling her to be quiet. 

“Oh goodness. I’m sorry, are they upstairs?” Dianne asked her, lowering her voice. You knew Dianne was coming over but of course, she didn’t know what room you’d be in. She smiled, letting Teddy take her hand and drag her into the living room where you were after Teddy answered a simple ‘nos’ to her question. 

“Hey mum.” Trent lowly whispered, sitting up a bit but keeping you in his arms. “Sorry, Y/N just finally is sleeping. I didn’t want to get up. I’m not sure the last time she slept so…” Trent gave Dianne a sympathetic smile. 

“It’s good for her to rest. Let me see that beautiful boy. Looks just like daddy, huh?” Dianne gently picked up Theo from his bassinet as he began to wake. “Teddy girl, come with me and Theo to get you a snack. Want to come with us to the kitchen?” Diane asked Teddy who had just plopped herself on the carpet. Dianne winked at Trent knowing it’d probably be nice to just have a moment with no kids even if it was only for five minutes, even if they were only in the other room. 

“Hi…” You pouted as you woke up exhausted in Trent’s arms. Your eyes fluttered open more as you nuzzled into him until panic rushed through your entire body. “Wait! Where is he? T…” You looked at him terrified, almost on the verge of tears. God, you were so tired. 

“Baby, he’s with my mum. He’s okay. You’re okay. I got ya.” He cooed gently, kissing your lips. You nodded relieved. He leaned forward a little more and you thought he was going to kiss you again. You tilted your head ready to let your lips meet. He didn’t though. Instead Trent ran the tip of his nose against yours. You left out a shaky breath as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I’ve got you, I’ve got Teddy, and I’ve got Theo. Promise I will take care of all of you.” He whispered. You felt your heart falter hearing him. 

“We’re so lucky to have you daddy.” You smiled. You were going to say more but you heard Teddy’s giggle along with the scamper of your dogs come rushing out of the kitchen. Suddenly Theo’s cries began. Trent cupped your cheek and ran his thumb over your skin. He gave you a cheeky smile. He sat up and you sighed as he pulled you with him. 

“Where you going baby bear!” Trent cooed, reaching out and nabbing Teddy mid run swinging her off the ground. Her giggles continuing. You got up and took Theo back from Dianne as they entered the room and calmed him down. Trent came to you with Teddy in one of his arms and pulled you and your little boy into them with his other. “They're ours, baby. All ours.” He laughed a little and you sighed before he pecked your lips. You smiled up at him with a happiness you never wanted to loose and returned the kiss.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter and the entire series 🤍

I cannot believe the series is officially over. I really can't express how much I loved talking about this with anyone that has messaged. The first part of The Epilogue is out now! I hope the official conclusion will do Y/N and Trent's story justice.

The End 🫶🤍✨🧸

[armoredisopod]

Arknights Thank You Celebration 2024 PVs

New Operators

Figurino, 5* Merchant Specialist

I have a lot to learn, and right now, i'd like to start by making a new suit.

Crownslayer, 6* Welfare Executor Specialist

"Crownslayer", that's the name we're familiar with, let's keep it.

Vulpisfoglia, 6* Pioneer Vanguard

I appreciate the acknowledgement. But you know this means in the future the people who are hunting me for bounty will come to Rhodes Island first. Will that be fine?

Lappland the Decadenza, 6* Limited Mech-Accord Caster

Is this your way of trying to get me to settle down, or do you also think this game needs more excitement...

I just can't guess you, no wonder i like your trust in me!

2 new operators to the voucher shop

Contrail, 4* 巡空者 (Air Patrol) Specialist

Philae, 5* 本源铁卫 (Primal Protector) Defender

Operator Outfits Update

Total of 6 new outfits, 2 new additions for the Cambrian brand, 1 new addition for the Epoque brand, 2 new additions for the Test Collection brand and 1 new addition for the 0011/Tempest brand

Cambrian

At the Warm Velvet Corner - Warmy

Travel Freely - Sussurro (Login Event)

Epoque

Il Segreto Della Notte - Texas the Omertosa (21 OP)

Test Collection

Allmind As One - Executor the Ex Foedere (24 OP)

The city lights up. I can sense everyone's presence, and everyone's absence. We are together——— as one "Laterano".

Diversity Oneness - Virtuosa (24 OP)

Please stay, Sankta. Please tell me, is the Laterano of now a place that is connected to the rest of the land?

0011/Tempest

Ignis Fatuus - Lessing

Lessing's outfit will be up for sale during Zwillingstürme im Herbst Retrospect

Announced outfit reruns

Young Branch - Muelsyse

Red Countess - Skadi the Corrupting Heart

Operator Modules Update

All the new operators (except the red cert shop ops) being part of branches with modules immediately get their modules

FUN-X module base effect increases the starting damage of Lappland the Decadenza's drones to 35% of her ATK

SOL-X module base effect gives Vulpisfoglia +8% ATK and DEF when blocking

EXE-X module base effect makes it so retreating Crownslayer refunds 80% of her current DP Cost

MER-X module base effect reduces the DP drained by Figurino's trait effect

Ritualist Supporter branch gets 1 module type

Lessing gets his second module

DRE-Y module base effect allows Lessing to survive a single fatal blow, healing back to full and gaining +30 ASPD at the cost of -60% Max HP, this effect only activates once per deployment

Angelina and Rosmontis get Integrated Strategies specialized modules

These modules' effects are unknown at the time of writing

Events and Stories

I Portatori Dei Velluti, a Siracusa side story event

Put on your masks and dresses, the show is about to begin in the streets.

Come on, don't be boring - you're probably the least "Carnival" of the bunch!

Stronghold Protocol, limited time autobattler gamemode, opens during the third week of I Portatori Dei Velluti

Zwillingstürme im Herbst Retrospect, scheduled after I Portatori Dei Velluti

Operator Archives update for Lessing, Jieyun, Schwarz, Sora, Totter and Vigil

Misc Stuff

New QoL changes

Added the ability to have preset base loadouts that you can easily swap between

Added the ability to instantly send every exhausted operator into dormitories with one button

Max Sanity cap increased by +45

Refilling sanity using Originite Prime will refill 135 sanity regardless of level/max cap

Added the ability to instantly move to required lower materials when crafting and a button to move back the higher tier material that required it

Mountain, Kafka and Pinecone added to recruitment

Bagpipe's [Queen, No.1] outfit will be available in the certs shop to players that don't have it

Livestream Stuff

Showcased Lappland the Decadenza, a hyper offensive 6* Mech-Accord Caster with potent self buffs and powerful debuffs

First talent makes her stronger the longer she stays on the field, getting the following buffs in order: increased drone damage cap, ability to inflict Silence, gains more drones

Second talent increases the initial SP of all [Siracusa] operators when she's in the squad

Skill 1 has a passive effect that immediately gives her an additional drone, when the skill activates she gains ATK, releases her drones to attack enemies and her drones will attack idling enemies anywhere on the field

Skill 2 expands her attack range, increases her ATK, gives her more drones and releases her drones to attack enemies randomly within range, her drones have a chance to inflict Panic

Skill 3 increases her ATK and gives her more drones, then releases special drones that actively seek out and hunt enemies, the special drones inflict Panic upon reaching a target and locks onto them; enemies near the drones will have decreased movement speed and take Arts damage every second

Showcased Vulpisfoglia, a 6* Pioneer Vanguard with a strong battlefield presence

First talent makes her attacks deal additional Arts damage for a few seconds after the first time hitting them

Second talent increases the natural DP regeneration by a small amount and lets her recover HP when she hasn't taken damage for a few seconds

Skill 1 is a power strike skill that makes her next attack deal Arts damage and generate some DP, this skill can store charges

Skill 2 lets her immediately deal Arts damage in an area in front of her, Slows the hit enemies and generates some DP. If the enemies were already under the effects of Slow they will be Stunned instead, this skill can store charges

Skill 3 immediately generates DP, expands her attack range, increases her ATK, gives a massive decaying ASPD boost, allows her to attack enemies equal to block count and each attack briefly Stuns the hit enemies. If she defeats any enemy during the skill she will gain Camouflage at the end of the skill that lasts until the next skill activation

Showcased Crownslayer, a 6* Executor Specialist with a unique disruptive kit

First talent sprays a smokescreen on the 8 surrounding tiles around her during skill duration, reducing the Physical and Arts Hit Rate of ground enemies in those tiles

Second talent lets her deal increased Physical damage to enemies that have not landed a hit on her

Skill 1 gives her increased ATK and some amount of Physical and Arts Dodge

Skill 2 stops her from attacking upon deployment, makes her less likely to be attacked and increases the amount of Physical and Arts Hit Rate the smokescreen decreases, when skill ends she will deal a certain % of ATK as Physical damage to all enemies within range

Skill 3 increases her first talent range, gives her Invisibility and sets her Block Count to 0, every few seconds she will appear to attack an enemy within the talent range dealing a certain % of ATK as Physical damage and Stunning them for a few seconds

Showcased the event mechanic, a fireworks machine that will apply effects on a number of tiles around it when activated

While the machine is active, operators on those tiles will take periodic damage and cannot be healed but will not have their HP go below 1, enemies on those tiles will take constant damage

Players can additionally customize which tiles will be affected by the fireworks machine and have it apply additional bonus effects in the event menu

Showcased Contrail, an experimental 4* of a neat new branch 巡空者 (Air Patrol), a Specialist branch that consists of operators that have 2 Block Count and utilizes the new status "Takeoff"

Takeoff: Does not block ground enemies and will not be attacked by ground enemies, can block aerial enemies

S1 makes her takeoff immediately upon deployment, expands her attack range, increases her ATK and gives her some Physical Dodge

S2 makes her takeoff when activated, expands her attack range, increases her ATK, lets her attack 2 targets at once and is able to attack an additional aerial enemy and her attacks inflict Slow to aerial enemies

Showed footage of the new base loadouts feature

Work rooms and Dormitories are now in separate tabs

You can set up to 3 loadouts for each individual room and press a button to immediately swap out exhausted operators, there is also a button to immediately do this in every room all at once

Showed the button that immediately sends all exhausted operators into the dorms

Teased even more base QoL features planned for the next Sui sibling event update

Expanded the Reception Room and added the ability to decorate it

Added activity rooms, operators assigned to this room can be manually controlled and move around the base

Announced the ability to register your birthday, players will receive gift furniture on their set birthday and operators have special birthday voicelines

Announced the ability to have a list of rotating assistant operators that change every day

Announced the ability to make loadouts for the main menu background/UI theme/assistant operators for quick switching

SSS will get a skip feature, uses the same PRTS Proxy Cards used for annihilation skip

The older SSS maps will become playable again

Stronghold Protocol, limited time autobattler gamemode

In the gamemode the player will have to prepare their squad and operators before each battle, the player can hire additional operators and have multiple copies of them deployed or combined into a higher tier of that operator

Players can hire reserve operators should they lack usable units and also hire up to 8 friend support operators

Teased the next event involving Thorns and the history of alchemy in Iberia

Announced some kind of mini game collection "Poly Vision Museum"

Announced the second expansion update for IS#5

A 5th ending exploring the story of an alternate universe Amiya

The ability to share seeds of runs you completed to other players, completing a seeded run will not unlock higher difficulty/new relics/etc

Max difficulty increased beyond 15

New starting squads

New collectibles and thoughts (IS5 gimmick items)

Teased Arknights anime season 3 [RISE FROM EMBER]

Announced U-Official mini series

Announced Ambience Synesthesia 2025: Best Song Award, the song lineup featured in the concert will be decided via community polling

INVESTIGATED TERRA lore video covering the history and development of Originium on Terra and the technology that sprouted from it narrated by Kal'tsit

[dear-ao3]

hey since yall are cologne experts (or one of u is idk) what cologne do you recommend to confuse ppl abt my gender

I need a scent that is feminine AND masculine all at once

aright so i am not a cologne expert whatsoever (not sure where you got that one from honestly) but i do happen to have a friend who works at a perfume store and when i asked her to weigh in her opinion on this she was absolutely delighted and wrote you all a novel on how to choose the right fragrance

(very fair warning, this is quite long)

Lessons in Fragrance (by Roza, Saph’s friend)

Buckle up buttercups because I’m about to learn you a thing or two about scent! I used to work at one of the largest “niche” perfumeries in the New England area so I’m like kinda qualified to give advice on fragrance I guess lol

1.scents will smell different on skin than on tester papers due to the fragrance interacting with your body chemistry so something you like on paper you might not like on your skin and vice versa! It’s always important to test on your skin before you buy, most websites that sell fragrance will sell a sample size for a few bucks or even a sample set for $20-$60 depending on how many samples and how high end the brand is! 

2. At the end of the day fragrance (how many times will I say this word probably at least 50) is gender neutral. Cologne versus perfume (or aux de parfum) just denotes how strong the scent will be and how long it will last. The order of weakest to strongest is: aux de toilette, room sprays, linen sprays Essential oil fragrances Cologne Perfume, aux de parfum 

3. there are many types of fragrances some examples of overarching categories are: gourmand: smells like food in some way Fougére: “traditionally masculine” Floral: predominantly flower notes Green: outdoorsy but more grassy and earth based Woodsy: outdoorsy but more tree and wood based Aquatic: notes that create scents reminiscent of bodies of water, ambergris is a common note Oriental: earthy, musky, and warmer notes usually having some sort of amber note Spicy: having heavy spice notes wheather it be peppery or your traditional baking spices These are just some of the most common categories of fragrance.

4. additional to categories, fragrance is further broken down into different sizes and different note tiers with each having its own wear time: you have your top notes, heart notes, and base notes. True to name top notes are the notes of scent you first smell. As the fragrance starts to settle the heart notes will become more prominent as the top notes fade. The base notes have the most longevity and will usually be the hints that you can smell even several hours later.

Sizes: tester sizes tend to be 2-5mL of product. The 4 most common denominations that fragrance come in are a 10-15mL (travel size), 30-35mL (smaller side but still decent amount), 50-60mL (pretty standard size and good amount), 100mL (“full size” and will last a hot sec) Based on personal experience: I’ve had a 30mL fragrance that I wear daily last for about 2 months, I have an 88mL that I wear about once a week that has lasted a year and a half (with 3/4 of a bottle still left), I have 10mL travel sizes that last about 2-3 weeks with daily wear, I have a 50mL that I wear weekly and on occasion use as a room spray too that’s lasted about a year (still have 1/4 bottle left). When talking about wearing the fragrance is talking about one spray per wrist, then tapping them together (NOT rubbing) to help distribute the scent. Sometimes I add an additional spray on my neck. There is never a reason to spray fragrance on your full body b/c it can then become to overwhelming and you’ll be a walking hazard to society (think a 12 yo boy with axe body spray). On occasion if you know it will be a sexy night a spray of fragrance on the ankle can go a long way especially if your legs will be hooked around someone’s head.

5. now without further ado below are Roza’s recs for gender confusing fragrances. I will include the name of the fragrence and line/company, some of the notes, and price point! disclaimer: I am only really familiar with niche fragrances not mainstream or “drugstore”, “department store”, “your typical designer” fragrances

The Recommendations:

My recs: I can’t grantee the spelling on all of these but c’est la vive, the listings are as follows: name of fragrance, line (if applicable), company, maybe a fun fact about the company or scent, description of notes and/or story of how to describe the scent, price point with size of bottle

supernatural #6: by Caswell Massey the oldest American perfume company, was a fragrance worn by George Washington, it is a very clean herbaceous scent (yk to cover up the stench of the unbathed in colonial times since the scent was created in 1772), it has main notes of bergamot (that earl grey tea kind of floral scent) rosemary, neroli, rose, clove and amber, very musky, $40 for a 7.5mL travel size or $225 for a 100mL, also comes in soap form.

LX48: also Caswell Massey, smells like leather chairs and pipe tobacco with hints of florals reminiscent of an old school gentleman’s club, notes of violet, geranium, oakmoss (one of my fav notes across the board), tobacco, cedar wood, and vintage leather, same price points for 7.5mL and 100mL as Supernatural #6, comes in soap form as well.

Beaver: Beaver-Bee are all from the same Canadian line called zoologist which conceptualize their fragrances after the stunning cover art to encapsulate what each animal would wear as a fragrance taking inspiration from their habitats, smells like moist earth and a light breeze carrying greens and florals. Notes of outdoor air, linden blossom, wood shavings, wild vegetation, damp air, dry wood, water, light musk, heavy musk, dark woods, vanilla, amber, castoreum, and leather, pricing the same for Beaver, Snowy Owl, Sloth, and Squid tester for $8, 10mL for $48, and 60mL for $175

Snowy Owl: zoologist, smells like the transition from winter to spring as the snow melts and mud season begins as light florals start to fight their way to the surface, notes of snow accord, lily of the valley, mint, coconut, Turkish rose, frankincense, galbanum, ambrette, cedar, tonka, vanilla, oakmoss, civet, and musk

Squid: zoologist, smells like an inky Black Sea thrashing about in a storm until you reach the calm black depths, notes of pink peppercorn, solar salicylate, incense, black ink accord, opoponax, ambergris, and benzoin musk

Sloth: zoologist, smells like a Victorian apothecary with wooden shelves a plenty mayhaps even thatched awnings overhanging the front windows ripe with scents of various herbs, florals, tinctures, potions and oils a delicate and peculiar balance, notes of chamomile, açaí berry, lavender, violet leaf, marigold (also known as calendula), beeswax, anise, jatamansi, jasmine, cumin, hay, frankincense, myrrh, mushroom, oakmoss, vanilla, tonka

Bee: zoologist, fragrant blossoms that play beautifully with fruity undertones to create a rich and mead like scent, notes of orange, ginger syrup, royal jelly accord, broom, heliotrope, mimosa, orange flower, benzoin, labdanum, musks, sandalwood, tonka, vanilla, sample $8, 10mL travel size $59, 60mL $210

Blackbird: Olympic Orchids, this is my personal favorite scent to the point that I consider it my signature, to me it smells like an ancient forest witch coming out to dance amongst the moonlight a pungent earthy smell full of ripe blackberries, damp cedar and oakmoss to complete the alluring scent, notes of blackberry, dry grass, dry leaves, elemi, cedar wood, resin, woody amber according to, for balsam absolute, and musk, pricing is the same for blackbird the California chocolate and woodcut, sample $3, 5mL $18, 15mL $35, 30mL $65, 100mL $120

California chocolate: Olympic orchids, a fruity chocolate fragrance to encapsulate California, notes of wild orange, grapefruit, yuzu, white cognac, neroli, dark chocolate, patchouli, gourmand musk, bourbon vanilla

Woodcut: Olympic orchids, smells like walking into a scene shop with fresh cut wood or even a cedar closet, notes of fractional distillation of pine and cedar, oak wood, roll balsam, olibanum, caramel, burnt sugar, vanilla

902: bon perfumer, a French company that makes 3 note fragrances perfect for layering with each other a scent you already own or just a subtle fragrance that can stand alone, this one is described as what the peaky blinders would’ve worn, notes of white tobacco, cinnamon and brandy (armagnac), 30mL $60, 100mL $120, 100mL + 15mL set $140

Noir tropical, Maria candida Gentile, smells like an expensive drink at a beachside resort in Italy, notes of bergamot, almond accord, heliotrope, vanilla accord, bourbon, and rum, 7mL 20€ ($21.56), 15mL 37€ ($39.88), and 100mL 155€ ($167.08), also comes in liquid and bar soap form, and a set with the 15mL the candle and the soap

Finisterre, Maria candida gentile, it smells like a breeze on the ocean filled with ambient damp sand and slight citrusy notes caught on the wind from fellow beach goers snacking on fresh fruit, notes of marine accord, wet wood, helichrysum, pine, grey amber, sandalwood, same prices as noir tropical

Plum in cognac, scents of wood, the bottles (for the full size) look like anatomically correct hearts and the colors are customizable when you order, this smells sensual and proactive with its sweet and smoky depth with a realm of familiarity to bring comfort, notes of caramel, tobacco, cinnamon, nutmeg, juicy plum, vanilla, vetiver, aged in a cognac barrel (made with sugar cane alcohol so it absorbs some of the scent notes of the wooden barrel it’s aged in), 10mL $55, 75mL $240

Bulletproof, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk dark line, this reminds me of what a pirate could smell like, notes of smoked tea, coconut milk, crush cedar, and ebony woods, 45mL $52 one size only

Eclipse, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk dark line, smells like a unique mix of spices and florals as mysterious and ever changing as the solar and lunar cycles, notes if black anise, mint leaf, smoked amber, and gardenia, 45mL $52 one size only

Nocturnal, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk dark line, smells like a walk through the woods on a crisp early spring evening, notes of cypress, dark patchouli, vetiver, and night musk, 45mL $52 only one size

Wild whims, Margot Elena, TokyoMilk, smells like wanderlust and wild abandon frolicking through fields in the summer sun, bites of sweet grass, clary sage, verdant (very green smelling) florals, and citron, 30mL $48 one size only, this one layers especially well with green spell!! Most of TokyoMilk can be blended with other fragrances b/c they’re are 4 note fragrances similar to bon perfumer in that sense

Green spell, Eris Parfums, an alluring garden full of specimens for all over the world cultivated with care and just a touch of magic and whimsy, notes of Italian mandarin, French black currant bud absolute, Iranian galbanum, Egyptian violet leaf absolute, French narcissus absolute, tomato leaf accord, fig leaf accord, Haitian vetiver, Ambroxan, and musk, 50mL $165 one size only

Spezie De’ Medici, i profumi di firenze, spezierie palazzo vecchio, this is a very old fragrance line dating back to Italy even before the famed Catherine Di Medici there are whispers that she even wore a few of these fragrances, smells like a warm hug from loved ones in your life as you all bake spice cookies for the holidays, notes of orange, lemon, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, ginger, pink pepper, black pepper, 50mL 46€ ($49.59)

L’uomo di pitti, i profumi di firenze, spezierie palazzo vecchio, an outdoor market in Florence Italy filled with the latest fashions from visitors and importers all of the world with deeply aquatic and herbaceous hints, notes of pink pepper, iris, amber furan, ambergris, labdanum, sage, and rhubarb, 50mL 48€ ($51.74)

Bulls blood, imaginary authors, they create stories of fragrance from books that don’t exist each package (full size) is made to look like said book that doesn’t exist, smells like the perfect balance of brutality and elegance a scent for the lovers and brawlers deeply bold, animalic, and sensuous, notes of geranium, Spanish rose, patchouli, black musk, tobacco, sandalwood, and bull’s blood, sample $6, 14mL travel $42, 50mL $105

Every storm a serenade, imaginary authors, smells like the eye of the storm a day full of moody and choppy waters finally sailing into a brief moment of stillness to absorb the environment, notes of danish spruce, eucalyptus, vetiver, calone, ambergris, and Baltic Sea mist, same pricing as bull’s blood

Musc, Molinard, a French perfume company founded in 1849 with many fragrances full of notes that end up encapsulating one feeling, note, or moment, smells warm, woody, amber heavy musk, notes of muscade nois, bergamot, juniper berries, incense, patchouli, teak wood, musk, amber, and labdanum, 7.5mL 11.67€ ($12.58), 75mL 57.50€ ($61.98)

The Original, Eight & Bob, this fragrance was worn by a young JFK who discovered it through a young man and his family he met while on vacation in the French Riviera, a very classic clean fragrance that can lean on the side of aftershave-esque, notes of cardamom, lemon, pink peppercorn, dried woods, violet leaves, labdanum, evergreen wood, amber, sandalwood, and vetiver, 30mL 80€ ($86.24), 50mL 120€ ($129.36), 100mL 190€ ($204.81), 150mL 210€ ($226.37)

Winter nights, Dasein, comes in a line that is meant to smell like the different stages of winter there is also one for greens and the daytime, smells like a fire pit with friends in late January as the snow has started to pile up but on a blissful day where it is warm enough to go outside a gathering occurs with the rich smell of pine all around, notes of coastal forest, driftwood bonfire, cardamom tea, lavender flowers, wild musk, and woodsmoke, 50mL $125

Almost single, Confessions of a rebel, this is a collection known for making provocative and sexy fragrances with cheeky names, a hazy spicy scent tempered by woody florals, notes of black pepper, cardamom, iris, rosemary, and sandalwood, 8mL $28, 100mL $125 Ray-flection, masque Milano, opera line, an avant garde what would a flower from an alien planet smell like, notes of mandarin essence, sparkling aldehydes, cardamom pure jungle essence, mimosa absolute France, violette leaves absolute, solar rays accord, beeswax absolute, cedar wood essence, and musk accord, tester 6€ ($6.47), 10mL 46€ ($49.59), 35mL 133€ ($143.37)

White whale, masque Milano, opera line, a nod to the novel Moby Dick an adventure for any sea fairer, notes of candles, olibanum, salty rope accordion, black pepper Madagascar, ambergris accord, osmanthus china, violet flower, orris concrete Italy, cedar wood Virginia, patchouli Indonesia, vetiver Haiti, cistus laudanum, tester 7€ ($7.55), 10mL 49€ ($52.82), 35mL 151€ ($162.77)

Lost Alice, masque Milano, opera line, the tales of Alice in wonderland captured via scent in different stages of tea with the mad hatter, notes of bergamot, ambrette seed, clary sage, “Too Much Black Pepper”, carrot heart, Oreos concrete, English tea, white roses (painted red), sandalwood India, broom absolute Italy, and Fleur de lait (steamed milk accord), same pricing as ray-flection although lost alive does have a 100mL option too for 379€ ($408.55)

Pale fire, apoteker tepe, smells like a rich and slightly drunken hot cocoa after coming in from taking the leaves on a blustery fall day, notes of amber, olibanum, palmers, whiskey, and cocoa, sample $8, 6mL $20, 35mL $130, 105mL $280

The holy mountain, apoteker tepe, this is what I imagine the misty mountains to smell like to the point of almost being able to hear singing around a hearth in the background, notes of pine smoke, incense, balsam fir, labdanum, and guaiacwood, same pricing as Pale Fire

After the flood, apoteker tepe, true to the name it smells like the damp earth that’s still waterlogged after immense amounts of rain, notes of violet leaf, water lily, mushroom, patchouli, and wet earth, same pricing as the other two apoteker tepe

Le castiglione, jovoy Paris, from Les cocottes de Paris, another one of my personal favorites that I wear quite often, has been described as smelling like Dracula’s mistress based on a rumor started in the early to mid 19th century surrounding a model who (was described as the world’s vainest woman) once she “got old” (all of 40) she would only leave her house at night and donning all black and the rumors flew leaving behind only whispers and whiffs of this scent as she would walk by, a fragrance that is both earthy and citrusy, with an almost apothecary feel to it that keeps you sniffing the sample trying to figure out what it reminds you of, notes of mugwort, citron, juniper, licorice, patchouli, grey amber, myrrh, and styrax, sample $3, 50mL 75€ ($80.85)

After hours, antica farmacista, smells like sipping on a berry filled night cap paired with a fresh crème brûlée to enjoy in your favorite leather chair by fireside in an old family library, notes if blackberry, cocoa, tobacco, davana, black rose, single malt bourbon, cognac, oud, leather, crème brûlée vanilla, and amber, 10mL travel $22, 50mL $86

Late harvest, fort manle, the packing is really cool and the scents come in bottle that look like vintage ink bottle topped with an ornate golden cap that would work as a wax seal in a pinch, smells how I imagine an older bilbo baggins to smell like while relaxing in the shire smoking his pipe, notes of cherry pipe tobacco, vanilla, cedar wood, rosewood, leather, and rose, sample $10, 50mL $250, it’s pricy but the wear time is insane (I’ve tested it before and had it still smell fairly strong the next day even after showering)

Bojnokopff, fort manle, the story behind this is the famed Russian magician Bojnokopff (idk if he’s actually real tho lol) performing in 1897 St. Petersburg the closing act of his final show before retirement and to amaze the masses he disappears into a cloud of purple haze leaving behind only whiffs of lavender, oud, and chocolate this is a very dark and punchy scent (I find that people either love it or hate it with no inbetween), notes of French lavender, vanilla, dark chocolate, oud, and cedar wood, sample $10, 50mL $250 there is also a discovery set of the entire fort manle line that is $70 for a sample size of 7/8 of their fragrances

Uomo, carthusia, smells like the hot Italian partner you can’t take home to your family who rides a motorcycle while wearing a tank top with a leather jacket while smoking, notes of lemon, bergamot, freesia, green leaves, lily of the valley, jasmine, geranium, cedar wood, patchouli, sandal, palmers, amber, white musk, 50mL 70€ ($75.46), 100mL 90€ ($97.02)

Terra Mia, carthusia, smells like a coffee shop right before open there are notes of citrus roasted nuts and coffee in the air along with the smell of light florals that grace each seating area, notes of bergamot, neroli, pink peppercorn, rose, jasmine, orange blossom, Arabic coffee, hazelnut cream, amber woods, vanilla, ambroxan, and white musk, same pricing as uomo

Mediterrano, carthusia, a bright and sunny fragrance with notes of green tea, notes of wild mint, lemon, eucalyptus, litsea cubeba, red thyme, bergamot, jasmine, cardamom, flowers of the fields, tangerine, green tea, and white musk, same pricing as terra Mia and uomo

Broken Theories, Kerosene, the packaging is cool seeing as it is a nod to the city the fragrance is created in (Detroit) each bottle is painted in motorcycle paint and the metal label is hand stamped, it smells like a fire pit while drinking a spiced mimosa, notes of blood orange, tobacco, spices, vanilla, sandalwood, our, and incense, it’s a heavy but not overwhelming scent that covers you like a blanket and can last several hours without needing to reapply, 100mL $152

Meltdown, elder & willow, these last two are roll on essential oil fragrances that are very budget friendly, this one is meant to calm anxiety and help with grounding, bites of lavender, lemon, ylang ylang, bergamot, rose geranium, vetiver, Roman chamomile, benzoin essential oils, and scent is all in a coconut oil as the carrier, $12 per 10mL roll on

Sweet dreams, elder & willow, meant to promote sleep, notes if lavender, vetiver, Roman chamomile, cedar wood, benzoin essential oils, scent is in coconut oil as the carrier, $12 per 10mL roll on, I love elder and willow they also have teas, bath soaks, and skincare products

And thus concludes fragrance lessons/recs with Roza! I hope this was more informative and less of a fever dream than perfume ads on screen that don’t actually tell you anything about the fucking fragrance and just go off of vibes and celebrity presence!!

[briar-ffxiv]

Hate to do this, but if anyone can help

TL: DR - Due to a lot of financial strain this year and moving before we planned to with little notice, my cats and my family don't have money for groceries for the next few months. We just need to make it to January and we've been trying hard, eating as cheap as possible, not going out, no extra services, etc. Heck, I only have FFXIV because a friend was nice enough to help.

But now, we're out of money and next paycheck once we cover rent and bills, we'll have less than $30. And unfortunately, we need to eat.

So if anyone can help, I'd appreciate it. Anything. Thank you. <3

Below the read-more are the longer details. If anyone doesn't mind boosting or something, I'd be grateful.

More Details:

Basically, due to having to move at least a year sooner than expected with less than 60 days' notice, we've used up every bit of savings and resources we have. Plus, due to some other financial nonsense, including the past roommates being terrible and my spouse's work using loopholes to avoid paying him overtime, we're finally having a really rough time.

We can just cover rent and the minimal bills. Several months ago, we turned off anything we didn't completely need. That includes streaming services, games, and what have you. Heck, we wouldn't have kept on the internet if my spouse didn't need it for work.

We were just trying to hold on until New Year. The New Year means a mandatory raise for my spouse and his boss has promised it's a good one (due to several years of him getting the minimum under his previous boss who was fired for several reasons). So we've been just trying to make it and just have a few months left.

Unfortunately, with just a few months to go, we've basically maxed out all we can. The next step is trying to rehome my cats to remove the cost of maintaining them, although I hate to do it. I really don't want to. Pretty much every cat I have, I either rescued and/or raised from birth. But I'm certainly not going to let them starve or suffer.

I have been trying for months to get a job, but due to personal things and limited options (only one car with limited gas, etc.), I haven't been able to find anything. I keep sending out forms and not hearing much. Due to gas prices and such, I can't even do UberEats or Doordash or something. I'm at a loss and I feel completely useless in trying to help my spouse at the moment.

I really hate asking. My little Tumblr is just cute stuff with my character, aesthetics, and trying to be positive. I'm just really desperate because I don't know what else to do.

We've looked into state help, but I live in Texas and their "poverty line" is absolutely ridiculous. My spouse makes "too much" for us to get the benefits of any kind of help, even temporarily. Due to the crappy roommates, our credit isn't great and we're already struggling to pay off things so getting a loan is pretty much impossible.

I don't really have any skills that people would pay for commissions for. I'd be happy to do writing commissions or something, but I've never had much luck with that.

So, yeah, I just...I really need some help getting through the next 60 days or so. So if you've read all this, thank you. If you reblog, thank you. If you feel like giving anything, thank you. Even if it's just kind thoughts, I appreciate it so much.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

Bard

[lovebvni]

this community is toxic.

im not kidding. i’ve been in the shifting community since 2020? it has become more and more toxic over time.

first it was with race, then the process of shifting as a whole, now with age and consciousness.

we don’t all i share the same beliefs, i know, but can we at least respect each others opinions and not try to make age such a big topic of debate?

i didn’t want to ever have to say this, but i’m 16. i never wanted to come out with my age, or anything. this blog was an anonymous place for me — where i could simply be a being.

in this reality i’m 16. in my mha reality im 14. in my royalty dr i am 15. in my spiderverse dr, i’m 15.

and i have many MANY more realities,

combined that means i’m 60. my conscious soul age is in my 30’s.

i have not lived that long, but i know just because in my main dr, my soulmate is 15 doesn’t make me a predator because my soul age is ~36.

and im tired of the argument that it is.

once u guys begin to understand that we have a soul/conscienceness then you will understand that aging down or up doesn’t matter.

im just tired of the community policing people and not truly understanding.

now i wish you all the best, but i genuinely think i need a break. it’s becoming too toxic for me to develop and grow here.

i’ll try to keep in touch with my friends, but truly, i need a detox.

be kind, safe, and open to everything.

i love you all

xoxo, abyss.

edit : i’m also deleting all asks to do with my personal life bc why r people telling me i like sex and if i’m poly or not?? 😭😭 i’ll share what i want to share when i want to share it.

keep asking dumb shit like this, i’ll close my asks or deactivate my blog x