#it’s insane the emotional attachment I have to this series already

[takamoris]

Oshi no Ko…….. 😢😢😢🥺🥺🥺😢🥺😢🥺😢😢😢🥺

[petr1kov]

i swear most berserk fans are the dumbest motherfuckers alive in general but especially so when it comes to analyzing griffith's character and motivations. everything that happened in the eclipse is usually just tied into a neat uncomplicated bow of 'griffith always was a sociopath with no feelings and everyone in the band of the hawk were always seen as disposable tools to him', which is such a poor reading of literally everything that happened prior to it that it drives me insane.

the eclipse is meant to be a huge sacrifice. it is a grotesque and violent ritual that has griffith completely shedding his humanity and becoming something monstrous by cutting ties with everything and everyone that made him feel human in the worst possible way. what would be the point of it if griffith was already a fully-fledged monster from the beginning? why did griffith even need to experience visions to be convinced if he was always ready to sell his comrades for a corn chip?

even the scene where he explicitly states that 'only [guts] made me forget about my dream' often gets misconstrued as being just another expression of his narcissist ego, with claims that griffith became inconsolable and reckless after guts left him only because he got mad that lost control of his 'tool', since he felt like he needed him to achieve what he wanted. obviously, griffith's egotistical nature is central to his character and plays a part in this as well, but it's still very clear that it's not just resentment that motivates him in the aftermath of guts leaving. as he stated, guts made him forget what he wanted to achieve at all, HIS DREAM, for a while - and when he thinks of that, he remembers the good times they shared, not the bad. he simply couldn't envision a future that didn't include guts, after a point in his life, and that feeling had nothing to do with any pragmatic assessment of the pros and cons of having a powerful fighter like him on his side, and he knew that. it was the depth of his attachment to guts that terrified him.

i feel that people tend to dance around the issue of griffith's emotions in general because they feel that acknowledging that he felt anything other than possessive entitlement to the members of his crew (or even just to guts) is almost the same as excusing his actions, but it's the opposite for me. believing that griffith was simply born incapable of feeling love and affection for anyone is as good as believing that he essentially had no true free will in the events that led to the eclipse; if they were all interchangeable pawns on his hand, how would he ever hesitate to sacrifice them when the time came? how could a sacrifice like this even hold any meaning, really? believing that is fully conceding that he was always destined to become femto no matter what, which runs counter to the theme of free will in the face of causality that drives the series. where is the tragedy in that? where is the betrayal? it hurts because it could, should have been different, and griffith made a terrible choice - but only because he had a choice to make in the first place.

[mezzy303]

So I've been rereading skip beat from the beginning for the first time in uhhhhh almost 10 years and I'm going inSaNE over characterizations and development that I have to write it down

At this point I'm only at the Heel siblings arc so I haven't gotten to the Guam or Saena arcs which are very big for Kyoko and Ren's character development and healing which I haven't reread since those chapters came out

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Nakamura for basing Kyoko and Ren's childhood struggles and trauma on very real things that aren't often, if at all, dealt with in anime/manga and also writing them with utmost care (Not only do the traumas inform their personalities, but their healing arcs aren't just a one and done thing!! It's a very slow process) Like starting with Kyoko, her single mother neglected her so much that she was raised by a family friend. On top of that, nothing Kyoko did was ever good enough for her mother, and both of these things are so apparent in Kyoko's character. She attaches herself to fairytales and magic as an escapism and because she relates to stories like Cinderella. She literally cannot function if she messes up and no one criticizes her. She can't properly acknowledge her own talents and beauty without it being attached somehow to fairytales; she never quite believes shes good enough. Similarly, she didn't want to bother anyone with her troubles, so she always dealt with them alone/in private spaces. Pretty sure she also has lowkey abandonment issues. And this is all parental trauma!! Things she already has before the series starts and she gets so utterly heartbroken she swears off romantic love entirely so she can never get hurt the same way again.

(I don't think I'll ever get over how Kyoko told all this to Kuu and he was literally like I'm adopting you. Your mine now. Sorry I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And Kuu going home to his wife like hey we got a new kid 😂 Like Kyoko freezing up when she made mistakes and then Kuu showing her love instead of reprimanding her makes me go 🥹😩💖✨😭💝 Kyoko getting all fluffy from head pats🥹🥹 But on the downside she literally can't bring herself to call him dad unless she's in acting mode sjdfhsf)

When I really consider it, I wonder if Kyoko really loved Sho as a person or like.... the idea of him. Like he was just a convenient guy via proximity bc Kyoko needed someone to be her "prince". We haven't been shown exactly why she fell in love, but it would explain why she stuck with dedicating herself to him despite his terrible personality and knowing he never saw her the same way. It's portrayed like the concept of hatsukoi in anime where its ✨pure✨and innocent✨It seems very idealistic. Whereas Kyoko's love for Ren is more mature. She sees every aspect of Ren and doesn't sugarcoat it, she sees him as he is (she does him up on a pedestal but partially bc she admires him but also as an extreme measure to protect her heart and hide her feelings imo)

And REN. trauma to the max. He had to deal with the hardships of making a name for himself when his parents are already famous, extreme racism from being biracial, his friend/mentor dying from an accident he unintentionally caused???? Like boy hates himself so much he's literally disassociating 24/7 he needs a fucking therapist. I get how being Ren has helped him in some capacity but he needs a professional asap. Though deep diving into this is so interesting because Ren/Kuon compartmentalized his issues and the parts that he hates about himself so much he created its own persona ("Dark Kuon"), to the point he's rarely ever just himself. And he buried it so deep that as soon as he cracked the lid open, those emotions just spilled out. He can't even allow himself to be happy, and when he does feel truly happy, his automatic response is acting nonchalant,,,,,,,,,,,, he didn't even realize he was doing it at first 😢

Also the symbolism with Ren's watch makes me go a little feral. I don't remember if it's originally his or Rick's but it obviously stopped when the latter died and Ren keeps it as a reminder of what happened and why he went to Japan. It's a weird item since it grounds him but also represents his heavy trauma, and I think having those two things in one kinda showcases Ren's unhealthy coping mechanisms (like grounding himself to something traumatic isn't... great...). But that scene where he realizes he took it off and he has a moment of whether it to keep it on as Cain Heel or not??? *clenches fist* it was so good. (To recap it, he had his watch so he wouldn't lose himself in the role of BJ and then forgot it in the bathroom after an unexpected trauma response) Ren narrates his thoughts as choosing between Rick or Kyoko but interpreting this, he's choosing whether to keep himself stuck in his past trauma or move forward and let himself be happy AKA stick with unhealthy coping mechanisms vs try something healthy and rely on people he trusts. Kyoko essentially becomes someone Ren grounds himself to 🥺 He still needs therapy though lmao. He's so mentally unstable in this arc,,,

As I'm writing this I'm seeing a parallel between Kyoko and Ren and how they both had an experience that completely and utterly broke them, and it was this that pushed them onto their current paths in showbiz. And they likely would never have met each other again if those things never happened (they had to lose themselves to find each other?? 😭). It's so funny to me that Ren is all like ThEiR fAtEs ArE iNtErTwInEd with Kyoko and Sho when you have to consider the fact that him and Kyoko meeting again was like. a chance in a billion. It was fate 😂

KyoRen is such a poetic ship to me. The fact that they're different people when they meet and don't recognize the other. How Ren starts falling in love AS SOON AS HE REALIZES KYOKO IS THE SAME GIRL HE MET (Ren being gray/demiromantic.... more at 5). Kyoko lowkey starting to crush on Ren when she witnesses a bit of his real personality. These two things happening around the same time??????? And Ren being SO afraid of being Kuon, his true self, because of his bad qualities, but Kyoko pulling out the good qualities without him fully realizing it?? (I'm 100% referring to Kuon being a mischievous little shit and I live for how he teases Kyoko) tbh they treat each other differently from other people without even realizing it lol. And Kyoko being surrounded by toxic and possessive men pursuing her, and Ren being anything BUT. Like my man is a gigantic green flag. He recognizes that he can't seriously pursue Kyoko bc she's a minor and he really tries his best to only be a friend and mentor in her life and keeping her trust and never crossing her boundaries despite the stereotypes of men being "unable to control themselves." Y'all take point this should be the standard at minimum☝️

I have to talk about Sho bc this boy is so fucking toxic but he makes such a fascinating character. As much as I hate how Kyoko got heartbroken in the way she did, I think it was necessary so that she could leave Sho's sorry ass and cut him out of her life. Seriously,,,, he took advantage of her and used her as a servant. she literally dropped out of school, moved to a different city, and took on two jobs for the sole purpose of helping his career and then he threw her away like a used rag (JUST THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY). And then he has the audacity to fall in love with her smh. Anyway the fascinating part about him to analyze is how he's so possessive of Kyoko. Like she was a mere fly in his life, but she was always his. Until she wasn't. And I think those twisted thoughts kinda morphed into feelings for Kyoko. Ig in a way he still cares about her, but it could never hide how toxic he is. Anyone who's like I don't care how this person thinks of me as long as I take up the biggest space in their heart is egotistical and narcissistic. BUT he and Kyoko bickering like siblings will always be funny. Like epitome of two people who've lived with each other for way too long so they know how the other ticks and also get on each other's nerves 😂😂Sho does makes a good foil for Ren though. Like he's basically everything Ren is not: immature, temperamental, possessive, vain, the list goes on. His only redeeming qualities as a character is providing good drama and humor and being an example of what Ren isn't.

Skip Beat is really a story about healing and learning to love yourself and letting others love you and Nakamura is such a good story teller 🥺

[kammy-hyperfixation-central]

Yeah we need to talk about how this breakup is absolutely devastating for Haesol.

My girl is broken by the end of this.

Like just throughout this series it has been heavily established and implied that she is obsessed with Yeonwoo. It is as clear as day and what hits the nail in the coffin is the fact that Haesol is repressed.

If you read enough shoujo you always know that the cold repressed male leads are always obsessed with their partner who is most of the time the complete opposite of them. Repressed characters have a reputation of being freaks. (I'm looking at y'all lan zhan and chu wanning)

They are freaks nine times out of 10.

And Haesol has checked every item off the list of every criteria that needs to be met for her to be in this archetype. (And here freak levels are insane.)

This breakup is going to be devastating for her and I need to see how absolutely heart-wrenching her reaction truly was to this. I need to see her inner monologue. I need to see her thought process. I need to see what she did when she got home. I need to see just how long she really stayed out there because I feel like it was longer than the manhwa implied.

Throughout the series we have seen her emotional attachment to Yeonwoo grow and grow and grow to the point where it has gotten unhealthy. If you have been paying attention to her as a character you will know that she is obsessed with him it is clear as day that she is infatuated enthralled and absolutely mesmerized by everything Yeonwoo does and says.

Don't even get me started on how she reacts when he speaks positively of her or how physically affectionate she is to him when she absolutely despises physical affection (she hates it when Jinwoo it gets within a foot of her personal space but absolutely goes out of her way to go near Yeonwoo)

Like she is an absolute dog and as dogs are when they lose their owner... Shits gets wild (read erha and you know what I'm talking about)

Like at the back of my mind there is this itching feeling that something horrible is going to happen and Haesol is going to be the cause because a character who is that repressed can only repress their feelings for so long especially feelings as intense as she has for Yeonwoo until the cap blows and there's a mess everywhere.

She's already unwell having the one person whom she genuinely feels affection towards and feel such a strong infatuated affection towards leave her

Oh we better get in our bunkers because it's about to go down.

[ahundredtimesover]

WOOWEEE i’m still processing the new chapter 🥹 i just wanna stress that there’s multiple realities, guys. jk wanting to respect oc by upholding her wishes to grow, but also feeling abandoned by her choices despite him baring his emotions and desire to have her close by. then you have oc feeling the burden of her family ties/debt with the jeon family and wanting to find out who she is away from her current role, but she’s emotionally attached to jk and it’s blurring with her own goals. not only that, we see jk’s codependency on oc and how that could make her feel more chained down. ultimately she’s always needed by someone, but when has she put her needs first?

as mentioned, this is all so deeply rooted. they need to spend time away from each other to grow. jk is probably going to retreat/relapse to his past behaviors or maybe he’ll also be working on himself so that he can be a better partner for oc … my guts say former because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m an angst enthusiast.

ALSO i see lots of ppl saying UGH JUST STAY AND DATE, and while yes … this is a fic, this is a slice of life too. yall realize it is super inappropriate to have a secret relationship with your boss? granted all of my bosses have been old balding dudes and not jk, still … it’s the principle 😭 oc and jk having this “separation” period is good (i’m sleeping on the highway) and needed for their character development. i’m sure theyre gunna meet again and the tension is gunna be so high and they will do the boom boom pow💥🤯😏 without feeling that guilt/weird power dynamic!! 🫶🏼

mimi, you’re so awesome and i love this fic so much. YOUR BRAIN IS SO BEAUTIFUL, MUAH!!!!!!! 💋 you did not disappoint with the make out scene … cuz man if they can get like that on their first kiss … WE ARE NOT READY (i am🤲🏼)!! pls take care of yourself as always and hope you have a lovely day

Hi, anon. I took a break from doing my readings bc this just... this just made me smile and it appeased me (as did a lot of other readers' asks and comments) 🥹🥹 especially considering the other asks claiming how the characters are so dumb and stupid, or that they can just date while OC's in the company or date after she resigns. I would like to copy-paste your first paragraph to everything now hahaha (bc oh god the immense joy of a writer when someone accurately says what I was trying to show is insane and that's what I'm feeling!) 😭😭

Like, you couldn't have said it any better. All those things you mentioned can co-exist, and part of the characters' respective stories is learning that those realities can indeed co-exist. Which is why they're as burdened by their choices as they are (and we'll see more of this in ch12). I'd like for you to park that second paragraph bc... I wrote this entire series with the plan for season 2 so whatever happens at the end of this season, know that more will happen and you kind of raised some points already. 👀👀

And with the boss/asst. thing - YES. The power dynamic goes beyond their roles bc their pasts are intertwined as well. Mr. Ri pointed it out to JK - did he want OC to feel indebted to him, too? There are just so many complications. It's always been about needing to feel free for OC. What that freedom means is something she has yet to explore. Even the question of happiness is something she's figuring out.

BUT THANK YOU, like, really. 🥹🥹 It's always tricky and draining to write super long stories like this bc I need to make sure that the characters and storylines are consistent, and knowing that what I intended comes across (most of the time) is truly worth all the stress of writing this one hahaha I hope you're well and I hope to hear from you and your wonderful mind again! 💕💕💕

[loz-the-noob]

I find Marie’s body language in Return of the Mammalians really interesting because I can use it as Momrie propaganda BECAUSE it’s a really great physical representation of a side of her personality we don’t get to see that much in the game.

There are only a couple of instances this can be applied to in Return of the Mammalians but because I’m bored and desperate, I can stretch it to three, with a fourth scene where I think it could be improved.

Hold on to your tentacles! You’re probably going to think I’m insane after this.

I can’t believe you actually want to read this.

So, the first example I have AND the one that inspired me to write this mess is the scene during the construction of the uh, the machine thingy (does it have a name?) where Callie leaps at Marie to hug her in celebration of completing their task. And I MEAN leaps. We can’t see the whole of their bodies but judging by the suddenly acquired height difference, Callie is completely off the ground at this point. Given that the scene ends in a freeze frame, we don’t see the full force or speed of the hug-tackle either, but what’s clear is that Marie is prepared for it. Just to give myself a bit of focus because I have NO idea where I’m going with this; if the Marie-is-a-Horrible-Cousin Truthers whose splatoon knowledge ends like 6 years ago are correct, wouldn’t Marie have gone ‘Ew. UGH. CAL *hair flip* why are you TOUCHING me?’ or something? Or at the very least be completely unprepared to catch her? And that’s the thing! She doesn’t just hug her back - she CATCHES her. As shown by this here low quality image vv

Marie’s arms come up under Callie’s in a scooping motion. She is fully aware of her cousin’s physical recklessness and is completely prepared to catch her and keep her safe. I mean, the fact that Callie trusts her enough to just… fling herself at her is telling enough.

Alrighty. Next point GO!!

After Cuttlefish (I don’t like calling him that. Let’s call him Craig) after Craig gets Sucked Dry by That Bear, the Squid Sisters seem… mildly concerned, which is probably to keep the upbeat and comedic feel of the game while sacrificing a little emotional realism (coming back to this later!), but after they see he’s fully conscious and capable of floating by himself for some reason (?) everything’s Suddenly Fine Again. Except the world being in immediate danger, obviously. But here’s the thing (did I say that already? Well, there are 2 things)! For the remaining portion of the game this side of the end credits, Marie is just… holding Craig. As afore mentioned though, he can float. She doesn’t NEED to be holding him but she just is. Whether that’s because she’s happy to see her grandfather safe or whether something inside her soggy little brain saw something smaller than herself and told her to protect it is a mystery, but either way, that is some quality… body language… there…(again, lost my point. Weirdly, whenever I think about someone being held by Marie, I seem to lose focus. Huh.)

Anyway, here’s a picture of Marie holding Craig. Look at how she’s trying to engage him in something he could easily be left out of. Does this image not bring you joy???

Moving on briefly from all the Marie-talk, let’s talk a little Callie. I’m honestly thrilled about what they did with Callie’s body language in this game. She’s full of energy and quite hands-on, which is exactly how I expected her to be, even though this is pretty much the first time we see her physically interact with other characters in the entire Splatoon series. It just feels right.

It completely makes sense that Callie would spend the majority (why did that just autocorrect to Major Titty. Why.) of the pre-boss cutscene literally hanging off Marie’s arm, and the awesome thing about that is that Marie doesn’t pull away or look irritated by her cousin’s constant GRIPPING and SHAKING of her arm at all. I don’t know about you, but if I had someone attached to me like that while I was trying to think of a master plan, I’d be pretty annoyed. Unless, of course, it was Callie. I’m getting off track again here. My point WAS that Marie is so, so chill. I hate it when people try to portray her as angsty because she just… isn’t.

What all this body language shows is that Marie is a supportive, nurturing well of patience and ANYONE THAT SAYS OTHERWISE WILL BE FED TO THE BEASTS.

Which is WHY I think that during the scene where Craig is slightly rehydrated by the Captain’s tear, it would make way much more sense to have Marie reach out a hand to touch the Captain’s shoulder, or at least do something other than freezing there with an expression reminiscent of a damp, shocked cat. Now that Nintendo seems to have got their act together a little in terms of cutscenes, it would be nice to have more examples of characters (Marie. Marie is characters) using their body language to visually convey the finer points of their personality which may have been overlooked by some people *cough cough* Marie Trut-💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

Struggling to find the point of this ‘argument’? So am I. What even is this? I’m not reading it back before I post it, that’s for sure. Gnight.

[beevean]

I think I have finally managed to put together one of the biggest issues with NFCV: it's pretentiously intellectualist and snob.

the whole tone is grimdark serious, with the exception of some crass jokes.

the world is divided into "cultured" people (the vampires) and "ignorant" people (the humans).

In general, there is little love for humanity as a whole in a show inspired by a series where the strength of humanity is the core of it.

Vampires Are Better Than You because they don't lose their culture (read: human culture that gets lost through the ages. It's not even their culture lmao)

CHURCH BAD not because they have a massive amount of power easily abusable, but because they're ignorant and believe in stupid supernatural God stuff that stifles the Real Science.

Dracula's best redeeming quality is not being a family man. It's being a Man of Science™, with a Castle of Science™ instead of an eldritch location for a home. It's why Lisa went to him to learn, and why Isaac thinks he should serve and protect him. It's also the main reason Alucard expresses sorrow at the idea of having to kill his father: not emotional attachment, but disappointment that the CHURCH BAD had to make him use his genius for evil.

In S2, few characters focus on the sheer evil of wanting to destroy mankind for the sins of few. Much more focus is put on how stupid and insane and irrational and shortsighted Dracula is for not thinking ahead. His downfall is caused by him not being smart enough to care about the state of the council and Carmilla's real intentions.

When Dracula mocks Lisa and says that she only "wants to daub chicken blood on peasants", she herself scoffs at the idea of being seen as a witch - she's a doctor, thank you, she's superior to the ignorant masses.

Her last words are not "Alucard, don't harm humans because their life is already hard enough/those who hate humans walk down the path of their own destruction". It's "Dracula, don't harm humans because you're better than them". Not compassion: superiority.

Most of the dialogue is just talking about stuff for the sake of talking, with the pretense of being Deep and Nuanced. When you break it down, however, very little of it is actually deep ("My devotion has been a matter of interrogation for some years, and the reparation of my heart is far away")

The Speakers are portrayed as inferior unless they can do magic. Their oral and nomad culture is scoffed on, Sypha herself decides that it's actually stupid, and Alucard goes so far as insult her entire heritage when he's stuck in the castle ("one day I will go back to live with my flea-bitten family in a cart, which makes me better than everyone")

Alucard (who, as a reminder, is a "biracial" prince who identifies more with the "elite" species) also keeps insulting the Belmont clan in a way that implies that they do "stupid", gross magic stuff and that's what makes them worthy of mockery ("I imagine one sacrifices a chicken, and divines the location of the book you want from the intestines")

Isaac is portrayed as an introspective, intellectual man, which makes his misanthropy and pettiness okay. He never fully realizes that people deserve to live, he only decides that he deserves to live, that he wants to do something constructive with his life, which would be nice if he also remembered that he has gallons of blood on his hands. The story gives him everything he wants on a silver platter, and portrays him as Cool and Intelligent and Deep.

Hector is portrayed as a stupid manchild for his affinity for animals, despite S2 showing him as being the only one willing to do something to unite the council. The story frequently and harshly punishes him for being too "trusting", and not for his callous culling plan - he never grows up morally, but his Big Redeeming Moment is becoming as underhanded as those who hurt him.

In fact, S3's major moral is exactly "you're a fool if you see good in people": Alucard gets nearly killed for growing attached to the Japanese not-twins, Hector is humiliated for believing Lenore cared about him, and Trevor literally says this to a heartbroken Sypha (and you're supposed to feel sorry for Isaac when the guards don't let him and his demons through). S4 has a happier tone, but it does little to go against this moral.

It really is the embodiment of r/im14andthisisdeep.

[steviewashere]

20 Questions For Writers!

I was tagged by the awesome @puppy-steve thank you <3 I like to talk a lot, so this is kind of long-winded and I'm so sorry.

How many works do you have on AO3?

I currently have 95, which is a lot! But also, I have too many ideas.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

I'm currently at 436,999. Again, I'm insane and have a lot of ideas and things just get away from me lol.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things! I've written Steddie, Platonic Stobin, Stommy, and a couple Platonic Stancy, and Ronance once. I honestly don't see myself writing for another fandom in the near future. I've thought about maybe doing some for Baldur's Gate 3 with Bloodweave or Tav/Astarion, but we'll see.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Words Like a Bullet, Wounding My Soul

Rusted Silver Spoons and Empty Pockets

I Want You to Love Me, No Obligations, No Strings Attached

Love, Rest Your Head

I Am Vulnerable and I Am Wanting

(People love Steve angst, which I do too, so this list makes a lot of sense.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, I typically do! Unless it's one that I just am not sure how to respond to. But I tend to respond within the first two to three days the comment is left—unless I'm down for the count due to chronic illness.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay, my answer is Death Embraces You as I Kiss Your Skin because both Steve and Eddie die in the end (not really spoilers). And it's just very melancholy, gross, and world-ending. But if you had to ask the people who read and comment a lot on my works, I've heard that Love, Rest Your Head is the one people are upset and mad about the most, lol.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A lot of them do end up having happy endings, so it really depends the flavor of angst leading to that happy ending that you're in the mood for. But, my personal choice would be Balls in Laundry Baskets: An Apology or Everything and More (though the series that work belongs to does not have the best of endings, oops. But every work in the series is standalone).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have only received hate once on a fic, surprisingly. They commented, I responded, and then a few weeks later I deleted the thread entirely. But I've received hate on here for some of my Steve headcanons. And I've received hate on Twitter for writing Trans Stevie Harrington. So...Sort of.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. Though, not a lot. I've mainly written emotional/tender/gentle sex. I've done a T4T Steddie fic that's smut with some plot called Be My Lover. Take Care of Me (Sodomy) is physical fighting that leads to rough sex that turns emotional and tender (read tags, obvs). And, I don't really post about it on here because it's the kind of stuff that gets hate (because it's a kink that is usually hated on a lot already), but my weight gain kink fic Indulgence and Discovery is a mixed bag. (If you read that last one, just know it's don't like, don't read. And I don't wanna hear you complain about it.)

10. Do you write crossovers?

I don't currently. And I'm not all that familiar with them, as I don't usually read them. But I'd like to do something, maybe, that involves Steddie x Doctor Who or Steddie x Star Wars. The logistics just don't work all that well in my brain.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, thank goodness. But if it does happen and I'm unaware, I'm hoping someone will reach out to me.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'm open to it! If somebody wants to translate my work, they just gotta reach out and ask. Honestly, that would be kind of cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No I have not. And I don't know if it's something I'd like to do. I'm not a hard person to work with, but sometimes I am kind of hard headed. (Big old character flaw.) So I tend to get argumentative really easy. And I don't want to scare people off just because I'm being an ass.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie, of course. But I've also been a big fan of Steve Harrington/Tommy Hagan (Stommy), Astarion/Gale (Bloodweave, Baldur's Gate 3), and Markus/North (Norkus, Detroit Become Human). And I've recently liked the idea of Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker (Dinluke, The Mandalorian).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

Probably my first ever trans Stevie Harrington work, My Girl, Your Girl. I just lost interest with the work over time. But I'm thinking of doing one more chapter and calling it finished. And We Share This Life is one I'm thinking of orphaning. It's just such a big boy project that I am just over with at this point. I don't even want to link them because I don't want to get y'alls hopes up.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think dialogue is a current strength of mine. May be from experience writing speeches and monologues for public speaking and theater classes. But that's a big one for me. And then I've been told numerous times I'm great at writing very human, realistic, disgusting crying scenes. Which is great because I do that frequently. (Cry, that is.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing action. Not like bullets flying, explosions going off action. I mean just the simple act of kissing or hugging or being in a space. And also writing smut. I've never had sex and sex isn't all that interesting or necessary to me, so all of my smut feels kind of stiff. Except for my work in Indulgence and Discovery—that one in particular is written when I'm in the mood, it's written from personal fantasy/desire. So it flows just a little better than my other smut works, but still. Not great at it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I only know two languages, English (which is my first and is what I'm fluent in), and American Sign Language (which I'm intermediate to fluent in). Obviously, I write English dialogue. But I've written sign language in fic before, it tends to write like this: 'WHISPER OKAY?' (an example taken from Words Like a Bullet, Wounding My Soul). And I'm moderately good at writing ASL grammar, as this is how I've seen it written and been taught to write it. So as long as the language is something I know or am fluent in, I'm good to go.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger Things and it'll most likely be the only fandom I write for.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hard question. I have quite a few that I like, so I'll give my top five. Just because I'm indecisive.

The Bow on a Gift (Steddie)

Lighthouse (Platonic Stobin)

My Boy (Eddie Munson & Wayne Munson)

Be My Lover (T4T Steddie)

In it For the Long Haul (And Then Some) (Pre-Steddie/Steddie)

I don't know how many to tag for this:

@ataliagold @pearynice @scoops-aboy86 @hotluncheddie @sidekick-hero

@touretticeddiemunson

And anybody else because I have a brain the size of a pea <3

[iamskadhi]

Story of a villain - Epilogue

Goodnight, Dabi stans.

I hope you're all fine because I'm fucking not since yesterday when I found MHA leaks about the finale of the hellish Todorokis. I'm not gonna rant about that (but Horikoshi, when I catch you Horikoshi) but I decided to post the epilogue since I wasn't that wrong about Dabi's ending... and yeah, it destroyed me, it's my fault for getting attached to psychotic characters but what's life without a little drama, am I right? Mmm... I don't have much to say, I had an extended version of the epilogue but I made up my mind, I think epilogues should be shorter than a normal chapter and go straight to the point (which is ending this fucking series) but I had this opened finale and I wanted to keep it that way because, well, I guess I'm a big masochist.

This has around +900 words, and I hope you like it.

Final part

“I can fix him.”

“Hana” I whispered.

“I’m serious, I can, just give me enough time and food and you’ll see, I can… at least like… before this… you know what I mean?”

I shook my head and she sighed. Three years passed since the great war ended in Japan, by now I had around 90% of my memories back, the other 10% was filled with things I wasn’t sure if they were real or just dreams that I had of him. I divorced Geten, and I gave my baby his father’s last name by reaching out the Todorokis. I didn’t want to be a part of their family though; I was just trying to hold onto the last glimpse of his existence in my life.

I touched the glass in front of me as if it was his face, he was dying after good three years tied to a bed, connected to bunch of machines to keep him alive; he was about to die, and I didn’t want to see him like this, but I had to say goodbye.

I didn’t bring our son Touya because I didn’t want him to meet him like this, but I asked Hana to come for emotional support. I took a deep breath and the machine started beeping a little faster.

“What’s that?” I asked terrified.

“It’s his heart rate, I think he’s waking up” Hana said and put her hand on my back.

My heart raced like crazy as he opened his eyes and stared back at us.

“I’ll give you a minute of privacy” Hana murmured and tried to walk away; she only gave two steps when he spoke to her:

“Hana, thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me, asshole?” she turned around with tears rolling down her face like a cascade. “I didn’t do anything for you, you kept yourself alive without my help, you tough shit.”

“You found her” he said, “thank you.”

She cleaned her face with the back of her hands.

“I told you I’d find her, didn’t I? If you would’ve stayed and helped me none of this would’ve happened, I’ll never forgive you!”

“Hana, how dare…?” I was going to reprimand her, but I saw in her eyes that she wasn’t serious. I sighed.

Hana sobbed a little too hard and continued to claim insane shit she’d never say if she wasn’t so hurt:

“Say goodbye and wait for us in the other side, alright? Don’t you dare reborn without us, you little bitch. I’ll be your sister next time, I’ll take better care of you two, I swear.”

“You talk too much” he said and tried to laugh.

“I’ll leave you alone already. We’ll meet again, Touya.”

I looked back at him and put my hands on the glass, I saw past his injuries and the devices; he was still the love of my life.

“I want to touch you” I told him, and his heart rate increased.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what to say” I admitted.

“Don’t say anything” he said, “just let me see you, your hair’s long now, did you erase your scars?”

I rolled my sleeves up to let him see my clear skin, Hana fixed most of it.

“You’re gorgeous” he whispered, but I heard him.

“I love you, Todoroki Touya.”

“I love you”

Despite the med’s forecast, he seemed fine for now, we had enough time to talk about us, about Touya, and even about his family. He wouldn’t die today, or at least not in front of me. At the end of the day, he told me to never come back, therefore I didn’t and just waited.

I waited for a call, a message or even a letter letting me know that it was over and that he passed away. I lost my appetite and track of time, lacked focus and desire to live, Hana said it was normal since meeting him again brought back some PTSD effects.

“I just want to be okay again” I told myself one night before falling asleep only to wake up in the middle of a deep sleep by my phone’s ringtone and Hana’s rushed steps, she opened the door dramatically as I put the phone on my ear and heard my heart shattering into a million pieces.

Hana sat by my side and hugged me gently.

“He… he said… I’m the love of his life” I bawled, “about a million times. What about my life? Hana, what’s going to happen with my life now?” I wanted to know but she didn’t have an answer, instead she held me tighter and patted my head.

The funeral was the easier part, coming back home with a vessel filled with his ashes felt like carrying the weight of the world. Our Touya was just a baby and didn’t measure reality the way I did, so every time he’d say: “good morning dad”, “good night, dad” or “I’m home, dad” to that vessel, my heart ache a little.

One day, when I arrived after work, Touya was playing in the living room and sneezed so hard he jumped, leaving a trace of blue flames behind and scared the hell out of me.

“Touya?!” I yelled.

“Mom?!” he echoed, he was nowhere to be found, I checked every room. “Mom, I don’t see you.”

Then he screamed terrified, and I felt shivers down my spine, freaked me out.

“Touya, what happened?! What did you see?!”

“Holy shit” that wasn’t my son’s voice, that was a mature and raspy male voice, I ran back to the living room and saw him through some kind of portal. He was holding my son and stared back at me.

He didn’t have any burn marks, but he had some piercings and the same white hair and blue eyes as my son.

“What the fuck?!”

[skygemspeaks]

episode 2 thoughts:

this whole episode was fantastic, just as awesome as the previous one, but to me, i feel like peter gadiot's performance as shanks was absolutely my favourite part of it. there was just so much tenderness in his interactions with luffy, that i became attached to their relationship in a way i don't think i've ever truly felt with the manga or the anime. the live action managed to make me absolutely sob when he was saying goodbye to luffy as his crew left dawn island, which is never something i've done with the manga or anime (for that scene at least). you can almost physically feel how much he adores luffy, and it's making me really emotional

once again loving garp's expanded role in this arc! his interactions with koby and the rest of the marines were really good this episode, and the scene where koby tells him that luffy was the straw hat pirate who raided the base....you could just SEE the exasperation garp was feeling right then. i loved it!

i was a little sad that mayor boodle's role was reduced so much in this arc, and also the fact that chouchou's entire subplot was cut out. BUT it was a cool little easter egg to see him running around at the end of the episode. just a cheeky little wink wink nudge nudge to the manga/anime fans. i'll forgive them for it because the rest of the episode was so good

i audibly gasped at the scene where we saw buggy's audience laughing through pained expressions, and then the camera panned down to show their legs chained up. that absolutely gave me the chills.

i like the direction they took buggy's character in this. he still feels very true to his canon self, but i like how they made him somewhat more...empathetic, in a way? he sees a kindred soul in luffy after he makes the assumption that luffy had been abandoned by shanks. he genuinely felt like luffy was like him, like all the other outcasts in his crew, and he wanted to offer luffy a place in their family. it's found family, but make it evil!!!! you can see he has a lot of hurt and bitterness towards shanks and his perceived betrayal, and it's fantastic. they somehow made him more pathetic, but also more sinister than the manga, in a way?

i'm really really seeing why the cast and crew are all so insanely proud of this show. i'm a quarter of the way through now, and it's already obvious just how beautifully done this whole series is. the love and passion of all the people who worked on this show is evident in every single scene, in every little detail that they include for those of us in the know, and i really really appreciate it. it's everything i could've hoped for, and i'm so sad that i won't be able to watch the whole season tonight because i have work tomorrow. i think i should be able to watch at least 2 more episodes today though.

next stop!!!! SYRUP VILLAGE! i finally get to see my favourite liar! i'm so psyched to see jacob's performance in this

[thepaintedlady00]

Nightshade

Chapter 6 | Chapter 8

Outfit Inspo for this chapter

Chapter 7: Topsy-Turvy

TW: mentions of nudity if you squint really really hard, language, Simone sucks (y'all already know the drill), some cancer mentions & a pinch of dark humor, vague mentions of drinking and smoking, a bit of jealousy 👀, a little brotherly threatening, some close quarters flirting, laser tag, panic attacks. This chapter is the longest so far of this series, so enjoy y'all!

Jake felt light, almost weightless, as he lay in the warm bed basking in the rays of sunlight. The air around him was laced with the sweet smell of perfume, cherry with hints of rose, and light woodsy leather. It was intoxicating, and the more he breathed it in, the more he found himself craving the smell. A weight was comfortably settled onto his chest as his fingers ran through silky strands of hair. His blunt nails scratched her head, drawing out soft noises of contentment. He chuckled, an odd sense of joy rushing through his veins.

“What’s funny?” She asked, lifting her head off his chest.

Opening his eyes, he smiled up at the sunlit halo of red hair and sparkling green eyes that stared down at him. “Nothing at all.”

Her eyebrows lifted as amusement made her face even more beautiful. “Nothing at all? Why do I not believe you?”

“Calling me a liar?” He teased, his hands running along her smooth skin, tracing the curved shape of her snake tattoo up her spine. “In my own bed, that’s rather inconsiderate.”

“You weren’t complaining earlier,” she teased back, leaning into him, her fingers tracing his lips. Jake watched her face slowly soften, looking at him like he was everything to her. “You never thought you’d get this attached, did you?”

Cold weight started creeping back into his body as his mind recognized the dream. He still clung to her, clung to her soft skin beneath his fingers, the loving gaze she gave him, the smell of her perfume. Jake still closed his eyes when she leaned in to kiss him, and he hesitated to pull away even though he couldn’t feel her lips against his.

When he opened his eyes again, she was gone, and he was alone. He set his hand against his chest, taking deep breaths to escape the sudden slight feeling of breathlessness. Then, rolling onto his side, he looked at the empty space beside him, quietly recalling the sight of her bare back and that damn tattoo that he now knew painted her skin. Jake forced himself up and followed his shitty routine to prepare for another long night of service. It was starting to get ridiculous the never-changing nature of bartending at 22West.

He found himself thinking about what would have happened if he had gone through with his plans with Scott. Would he have his own restaurant? A bar that wasn’t constantly surrounded by rich assholes with more money than god and still stingy with their tips? Would he get to wear what he wanted and throw people out when they’d had enough? No. He reminded himself. It was a dumb idea, rushed and poorly thought out. It would have failed before it even started. Simone was right; all that was just a pipedream meant to help keep him from going insane with the mundane normalcy of life.

It was a fine day, not too hot but not cold either, as he rode his bike through the crowded sidewalks of people and even more crowded streets of cars and noise. Simone stood in the kitchen with a sweet smile as she fixed the collar of some girl. For a second, he thought she was Tess; they looked similar enough with the same bangs, brown hair, and big nervous eyes. He moved past them, an unsettling feeling of repressed emotion churning his stomach. “You’re late, my love,” Simone called to him.

“Not later than usual,” he replied, looking over his shoulder.

“I saved a plate for you.”

“Whatever,” he grumbled, starting up the stairs.

“Comb your hair!” She hollered.

“Fuck off, Simone!” He yelled back with a tiny smirk.

Her nagging was annoying, but it made him feel like the two of them were slowly beginning to find their normal again. She cared, even after all the bit of a bender he’d put her through in the months after Tess left. Simone always cared and always took care of him. After Etienne’s visit and Jake’s near business endeavor and Tess, Simone had kept him at arm’s length. She’d said she needed space and didn’t know if she could count on him. Now he just hoped her sober appearance and mother-hen nature meant they were both on the right track.

As he sat down at the table across from Sasha and the others, he was reminded that today was one of Lena’s days off. That was good. It’d give him time to get the image of her looking down at him, kissing him, out of his head. Sitting at another table, quietly polishing the salt shakers with a nervous glint in her eyes, the girl Simone was with took in her surroundings. She was cute, innocent, and scared shitless in the new environment.

The rowdy friends talked about her quietly before giving her the usual welcome of a pile of dishes and the order of washing them. She jumped up and did it without hesitation, looking like some lost animal for a second before she jogged to the back. It reminded him of Lena’s first day. She hadn’t even flinched when they dropped their dishes in front of her, finishing her before speaking Russian to Sasha and confidently carrying their dishes to the back. But, of course, not everyone could be like Lena, he reminded himself, eating his food with a smirk. 

Most newbies were like Tess at the start. Timid, innocent, and easy. It was why he’d always had his way with the newcomers. It was easy and uncommitted. And as the night continued, the more obvious the new girls’ doe-eyed stares became. She was enthralled with him, and he hadn’t even spoken to her. God, was it always this easy? He thought after catching her staring for the third time.

Simone stopped by the bar, quietly instructing the girl to get a bottle of wine from the cellar. “So you’ve got a trail?”

She laughed. “Yes, it appears Will is now too important for such things.”

“She seems clumsy,” he replied with a smile. “You’ll have fun with that.”

“Olive is new to this. So, of course, she will be a bit clumsy.”

Jake laughed. “Her name is Olive?”

“It’s a beautiful name,” Simone scolded. “She’s sweet.”

“I’m sure she is,” he replied.

“It seems she already has a bit of a crush on you.”

Jake made a face. “That so?”

Simone merely smiled. “You’re handsome and mysterious. Of course, a girl like her will be drawn to you.”

Something in her tone made that unsettled feeling creep back up. “She looks like Tess.”

“Does she?” Simone asked with a hum. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Jake watched her for a minute, quietly recognizing the lie and thinking about what to do. Simone wouldn’t lie to him. She had no reason to, yet there was no way she didn’t see the similarities between Olive and Tess. Her eyes filled with a gleam of something as she held his gaze… An unspoken expectation, one that Jake wasn’t quite sure he understood. 

“We need more ice,” Nicky said over Jake’s shoulder.

“I’ll get it,” he answered, turning away from Simone to grab the bucket.

Olive hurried back to Simone’s side, glancing at him with a pink blush, tucking her hair behind her ear as he moved past her. Behind the safety of the walls, Jake tried to keep his breath even. Simone was lying for whatever reason. This new Tess, his dream, all of it was becoming too much. The harder it became to breathe, the more he was sucked into the dark pit holding specific memories of all the times he’d spent holding his breath under the water in the bath. He remembered the crushing weight that stole his breath when Simone had told him his mother’s death was no accident. He had to steady himself on the wall as he remembered seeing Lena disappear beneath the water.

Pull yourself together, he cursed. He harshly forced breath into his lungs and shoveled the ice into his bucket until the numbness took over, and everything was pushed down where it belonged. He walked back through the kitchen doors and faltered at the sight before him. Lena always stood out with her vibrant hair, but this was something else. 

The black dress was simple and elegant, unlike what he would have pictured her wearing on a night out. Her hair looked soft, cascading in waves down her freckled shoulders, and if possible, her eyes were even brighter tonight. Maybe it was the lights or how she smiled, but he was enchanted. He refocused quickly, forcing the question to come out as calm and disinterested as he could muster, “The hell are you doin’ here?”

“Our little Red is a guest tonight,” Nicky replied, giving him a light nudge as he passed by.

“A guest?” He repeated, busying himself with refilling the ice to keep his eyes off her.

Lena scoffed at his disbelief. “I could be a guest.”

“So, who’s the lucky guy?” Nicky’s innocent question made Jake freeze for a fraction of a second. Was she here with someone? He wondered swiftly before bitterly forcing the angry thoughts to cover it. Why do I fucking care? He wasn’t going to get into this, not tonight, not here.

“No one,” she said simply. “I’m here for a family dinner.”

He chuckled, imagining her loud and leather-clad family sitting at one of the tables eating fancy food like rich people. “Family dinner? I’m dyin’ to see what your family comes in lookin like.”

“Me too. I told them it was upscale, but Ozzy’s version of that makes him look like an old victorian count, and Patrick...” She made a face and sighed, “Patrick is going to show up in something fucking hideous. So, I guess I should apologize in advance for you guys having to look at them all night.”

“Well, I don’t know about Nicky, but their outfits won’t bother me,” he insisted, failing to keep his attention from drifting to her exposed skin and soft curves.

“Oh?”

“I’ll be too busy looking at yours.” He winked, watching in absolute delight as she turned her head away from him, blushing almost as red as her hair. Seeing her smile because of his flirtatious banter made him remember the dream in even more detail. In an instant, that smell… That damn sweet cherry made his brain feel foggy… foggy with her and her alone.

“What the fuck are you wearing?”

*

Patrick spread his arms wide, revealing more of the hideous orange-colored suit, covered head to toe in bright bedazzled jewels. His copper hair was practically glowing from the amount of gel he’d used to slick it back. “It’s pretty good, right?”

“Oh my god, you look like a cartoon character,” I whined. “I told you this place was fancy!”

“This,” he gestured to his suit again. “Is fancy!”

Turning back to Jake and Nicky, who stood frozen, wide-eyed at the horror of my brother’s suit, I sighed, “It can’t get worse than this, can it?”

Nicky’s eyebrows shot up as the door opened and closed again. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Oh god,” I turned and instantly covered my mouth at seeing Ozzy’s outfit. “Ozzy!”

He was dressed in a fine black overcoat that hugged his shoulders tightly and flared into a rounded tail. His neck was adorned with a simple red necktie, and an old watch hung from his buttoned chest. His leather gloves squeaked as he brought the ornate cane forward, clacking it against the floor. He tipped the tall hat to me and smiled, “It’s brilliant, isn’t it?”

“I said no hats!”

Peter rolled himself in through the door, stopping the wheelchair off to the side and giving me a knowing look. “I told them it was too much.”

He wore a very loosely fitting suit and a simple black face mask to protect him from airborne threats. I smiled, gesturing to his outfit. “At least you tried to blend in.”

“Don’t thank me yet, sis. This thing is one wrong move away from sliding right off me.”

Ozzy ran a hand through his hair as he looked around. “So this is the place, huh? I thought it would be a bit more… colorful.”

“People are staring,” I pointed out, looking at the large dining room full of people.

Patrick scoffed and turned to the restaurant with a smile. “Eat yer hearts out, you rich a-”

I slapped my hand over his mouth and dragged him back to my side. “Shut up! You can’t just waltz into my workplace and call these assholes assholes.”

“Oh, lighten up, girly,” Patrick teased.

“I could get fired!”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Howard wouldn’t fire you.” 

“Relax and try to have some fun, tight ass,” Patrick added.

Jake and Nicky stifled their laughter from behind the bar. “Your ass is the one that’s gonna feel tight with my foot shoved up it.”

Peter looked behind the bar and nodded to the two men there. “Nice to finally meet some of Lee’s coworkers.”

“You must be her brother,” Nicky smiled. “I’m Nicky. This asshole is Jake.”

“Jake,” he repeated, looking him up and down. Then, finally, he looked at me with gleaming eyes. “He certainly is your type.” He said in Irish.

“Good lord, not you too.”

Patrick threw an arm over my shoulder. “Lighten up! Tonight is going to be fun!”

Howard walked briskly toward us, trying to mask how his brows rose at the sight of my group. “You must be the Harrow party.”

Ozzy grinned. “That’s right. Nice place you’ve got here.”

Howard nodded, looking past Patrick to Peter. “It’s a pleasure to have our paths cross again, Peter. I’m glad to see you’re doing well.”

“Always a pleasure, Howard,” my brother said in a tense tone.

“Be nice,” I quickly signed to him.

“I’m always nice,” he signed back. Then, with a grunt, he pulled himself out of the wheelchair. Patrick’s hand on my arm was the only thing keeping me from rushing forward to help him. Peter struggled a bit but steadily himself, rising to meet Howard’s height. “Where are we dining tonight?”

With a tight smile, he gestured to the closest table. “Right this way.” Patrick discreetly helped Peter down the stairs as they headed toward the neatly made table. “Everything has been freshly placed, so it’s perfectly sterilized.”

“Thank you, Howard.” I shook my head. “I apologize for the disruption to your evening.”

He waved me off. “Nonsense. You’re Glovers, maybe not in name but in blood. Besides, this place is as much yours as it is mine at this point. So please, enjoy your night Lena.”

The table was right in front of the bar, front and center of the whole dining room. Howard pulled out my seat for me as Sasha stepped beside him, winking at me before showcasing his skills in service by presenting the wine he’d selected and filling each of our glasses while he talked about it. He poured Peter’s water and stroked his cheek with a smile. “Good to see you, little sick boy.”

“Good to see you too, exotic cheater,” Peter replied, taking a sip of his water.

“Do you know what you’d like to order this evening?” Sasha asked after giving us a minute to mull over the menu.

I gave him my selection, knowing full well the quality of the meat and Scott’s perfect technique. Ozzy ordered what sounded the fanciest, which turned out to be one of the more straightforward dishes on the menu, and then there was Patrick, who hummed some jaunty Irish tune as he mulled over his options. “It all sounds so… pretentious.”

Sasha nodded. “I recommend the Dukkah-crusted salmon with quinoa and arugula salad. It’s one of our less pretentious dishes.”

Patrick chuckled and tipped his glass to Sasha. “Sounds perfect.”

Peter ordered a relatively simple dish, one I knew would likely make him feel sicker after the fact. I waited until Sasha returned to the kitchen to quietly excuse myself and follow him. The doors swung open, and Sasha smirked at me. “I knew you’d be following, sneaky bitch.”

“I’ve gotta make sure he can handle the meal,” I answered him before turning to address Scott.

“Oooh,” Isaac cooed as he turned. “Somebody looks hot tonight!”

The cooks all joined in, of course. Finally, Scott rolled his eyes and shouted, “Everybody shut the fuck up! She knows she looks good. Spill it Red; what do you need?”

“Sorry to slow down service Chef,” I started. “I just wanted to hand deliver my brother’s order. He’s… He’s got some dietary stuff.”

“Better safe than sorry,” he replied, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. “Give me the list of what he can’t have, and we’ll accommodate, won’t we?”

“Yes, Chef!”

I smiled, accepting the rare sight of Scott’s good side. “Okay, so all meat needs to be cooked through, nothing unpasteurized, no raw sprouts, and he’ll need toned-down spice. Ummm, also, any alcohol needs to be reduced and cooked down fully.”

Scott nodded, double-checking the paper before nodding. “Did everyone get that?”

“Heard, Chef!” The kitchen answered.

He nodded to the kitchen door and smiled, quick and thin. “Don’t sweat it, Red. We’re professionals back here.”

“Thanks, Scott, you’re the best!” I replied quietly, slipping out the kitchen door and making my way back to the table where Patrick was laughing as loud as possible, and Ozzy was struggling to grab hold of the small appetizer on his plate. Again, I giggled, sitting next to Peter. “Having trouble, Oz?”

“Why do they make these things so damn small?” He asked, holding his hands up. “Do these look like dainty baby fingers to you?”

“No,” we all answered.

“No!” He reaffirmed with a shake of his head as he grabbed his fork and stabbed into the small food item. “Fuck manners.”

Peter smiled at me. “Did you get the menu off your chest?”

With a nod, I sighed. “Sorry, I know I’m being extra about it all, but-”

“But you just want to make sure I get to enjoy this,” he finished. “I know, Lee, and I appreciate it. I appreciate all of you making tonight happen.”

“It’s the least we could give you,” Ozzy assured him. “Besides, I know how badly you’ve wanted to meet our girl’s work friends.”

Patrick lifted his wine to his lips. “Jake,” he muttered before tipping the glass back and sloppily sucking up the rich liquid.

I kicked his shin. “Shut up. And stop chugging the wine, you animal.”

While we waited for our food, Peter watched the dining room, the servers specifically. Though his eyes always seemed to follow one in particular. Simone smiled at us as she passed by, dropping off her plates of food and making polite small talk with her table, doing everything to earn those tips. Peter leaned over after she’d disappeared through the kitchen doors. “She’s the one that reminds you of mom?”

“Yeah,” I answered. “How’d you know?”

“She reminds me of her too.” Peter laughed. “It’s weird seeing another person like her just out and about.”

“We’ll keep our distance,” I assured him.

The food was terrific, though I’d expected no less from Scott. Peter cleared his plate, a sight I was glad to see after months of half-eaten food and hearing him vomit from the other room. He was really here, a bit pale and skinny but eating… But getting better. For a minute, all I could do was stare at him, thanking whatever gods or beings I could that my brother was still here.

Ozzy and Patrick blew through the wine, happily grumbling about how delicious the food was and how stuffed they were. Patrick unbuttoned his pants, “Feels like I just spent an hour with Nana.”

“Stop that!” I hissed, trying not to laugh.

“Sorry, sis, gotta make some room, or I’ll bust.”

Peter tapped my arm. “Hey, do me a favor?”

“No booze.”

“I know,” he insisted. “I just want to sniff it. Come on, Lee, let me live through you.”

“Fine,” I caved. “Which one?”

“Irish whiskey.”

“Of course,” I groaned, turning and making my way to the bar. Jake smiled, polishing a glass. “Got any Irish whiskey?”

He nodded. “Course. Didn’t take you for a whiskey, lady.”

“I’m not.” I nodded to Peter. “He loves it, though.”

My brother took his time, opting to listen to a story Ozzy started telling before meeting me at that bar. “So,” Jake started. “I knew you had a brother, but I didn’t know he was sick.”

I sloshed my drink around for a few seconds. “Yeah. He’ll pull through. Pete’s a fighter.”

“Why keep it a secret?”

“Didn’t want the pity.” I looked at him and chuckled. “Admit it, you pitied me a little when you realized he was sick.”

“Alright, fair point.”

“It just… Never sits well with me how everyone pities me and apologizes when I’m not sick.” I shook my head. “Peter is the one that has to live with it, that has to fight. He deserves respect and pity and everything in between.”

Peter sat down next to me, pulling the drink from my hand, lifting the glass to his nose, and inhaling deeply. “Ahh, that’s the good stuff.”

I put my hand on the glass when he pressed his lips to it. “No.”

“Just a little sip?” He begged.

“A tiny one,” I relented, loosening my hold on the glass only for him to tip it almost all the way back. “Peter!”

He chuckled, swallowing the rich liquid with a wince. “Sorry, sis, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Asshole,” I grumbled, pulling what remained in the glass away from him. Nicky chuckled. “Don’t encourage him!”

Patrick sat down on the opposite side of me and sighed. “Loosen up. One little drink won’t kill him.”

“No, but I might.”

“I’ve got to get back to the bar,” Ozzy said, pressing a kiss to my head and giving the boys a clap on the shoulder. “See you, kids, tomorrow! Try not to stay out too late. You make sure they rest, Lena.”

“When did she get put in charge?” Patrick complained.

“Since you chugged the wine!” Ozzy replied.

“Goodnight, Oz,” the three of us called after him.

With the last guests gone, everyone slowly began filtering down from the locker room. They all approached Peter with smiles and friendly handshakes. Sasha finally got to tell his story of meeting my sickly brother, and I introduced them all as best I could until I got to an unfamiliar face.

“And this is…” I looked more carefully at the girl standing in front of me. Dark hair, a round face, and a nervous smile. “I don’t actually know this one.”

“Olive,” she said with a giggle. “I just started.”

Smiling back, I offered her my hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Lena. I usually work in the kitchen.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said quietly. “You must be pretty good to be working in the kitchen.”

Laughing, I shrugged. “I don’t know about that, but I’m sure you’ll pick things up quickly.”

She looked around with awe in her eyes. “I hope so. This place is amazing.”

“That it is,” Simone said, smiling at Peter and holding her hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet Lena’s family.” Her eyes trailed down his ill-fitting suit. “Though judging by the attire, it was last minute.”

Peter shook his head. “Not last minute. These idiots had their outfits picked out last week.”

Simone’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Oh, forgive me. I just assumed since it seems you hadn’t had the time to tailor the suit.”

Here we go, I thought to myself as Peter hid a smirk. “Oh, this used to fit me great. I lost quite a bit of weight recently. Leukemia is a bitch like that.”

Her face fell as she scrambled to apologize. I slapped his arm lightly and spoke to him in Irish, “Don’t make jokes like that.”

“It was funny,” He insisted. “Plus, she’s a bitch.”

I rolled my eyes. “No more cancer jokes, asshole.”

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled. “Sorry, my humor can be a bit… abrasive.” 

Simone cleared her throat and nodded. “It’s quite alright.” She caught Howard’s gaze and smiled. “Walk me home, Howard?”

The tall manager nodded. “Of course, goodnight changelings!”

“Now that the boring ones are gone,” Sasha began with a wide smirk. “Let’s give our guests a true party!”

Nicky rolled his eyes. “You hooligans forget I don’t have all night to sit around and clean up after you.”

I stood, downing the rest of my whisky, and headed around the bar. “Get outta here, Nicky, Jake, and I will clean up and close it all down.”

“Oh, will we?” Jake questioned with raised brows.

“Yep,” I answered sweetly as I kissed Nicky’s cheek. “Go on.”

Nicky looked over at Jake, who shook his head and shrugged. “You heard her. We got it.”

“Thanks,” he replied, giving me a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t break anything!”

I tied half my hair up to keep it out of my face and smiled over the bar at Sasha. “What do you want, prince Sasha?”

He beamed. “God, I love you!”

Jake and I worked side by side for a while, though he spent most of his time behind the bar answering the slew of questions the new girl asked him. She leaned over the side of the bar closest to the kitchen, showing off her cleavage and batting her eyes at him whenever he glanced her way. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the high-pitched praises she lamented to him, clearly looking to stroke more than his ego. Patrick wiggled his eyebrows at my slightly irritated face while Peter’s smile thinned into a straight line as he watched me from the other side of the bar.

Prue skipped through the front door before I could ask him what was wrong. She happily tracked Will down and pressed a kiss to his cheek before running to Peter and pulling him into her arms for a tight hug. Quinn smirked as she tossed something over the bar before giving my brother an equally loving hug. I caught the peach with relative ease. My brows furrowed. “No. Quinn, come on!”

“Yep!” Quinn said smugly, sitting down across from me. “I decree that The Peach Soiree will be held in one week’s time. Payback for not returning my calls when you left.”

Everyone looked at us like we were crazy, but Scott was the one to ask it outright, “What the hell is The Peach Soiree?”

I sighed, setting the peach down on the counter. “It’s a party kind of. We each get to be in charge of one every year.”

“Mine is The Peach Soiree,” Quinn said with glee winking at Ari. “I’m an ass girl.”

“Prue’s is The Melon Matinee,” I continued. “She throws hers at the beginning of the year because she’s impatient.”

Prue made a noise and quickly signed, “Fuck you.”

Quinn said, laughing, “And our lovely little Lena’s is The Cherry Gala.”

“Why cherry?” Jake asked, looking over at me with a sly grin. “Let me guess, the hair?”

“Nope,” I replied, making sure to pop the P.

“Wait, have they not seen what you can do with cherry stems?” Quinn asked with a shocked and delighted face.

I groaned and threw the peach at her. “You’re the worst! You know that, right?”

Jake turned with that devilish air of absolute curiosity that told me he wouldn’t let this go anytime soon. “Cherry stems, huh?”

“Yeah,” I answered, sliding Sasha his drink. “It’s not that impressive.”

“Let’s just say she’s good with her tongue,” Quinn teased. “She’d make a great lesbian.”

I pointed at her with a poorly concealed grin. “One more word, and I won’t offer to get your little soiree a reservation.”

Her mouth hung open, and her eyes shifted to large puppy dog eyes. “OH PLEASE!!! It would be so perfect, Lena! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it if you shut up!”

“My lips are sealed,” she answered, dragging her long, manicured nail over her lips.

Jake leaned on the bartop. “So when’s your party?”

“Next year.”

“She used hers a few months ago,” Quinn said before remembering her promise.

“Was it any fun?”

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. “I thought it was.”

He sighed, “Come on, princess. You gotta give me more than that.”

Quinn’s eyes grew wide at the nickname. I ignored her and Prue, looking at Jake with a smug smile. “I don’t, though.”

“That’s just cruel.” His eyes slid down to my lips. “You at least gonna show me that cherry trick?”

“It’s really not that impressive.”

Sasha rolled his eyes, reaching over the bar and clamoring around for the cherry jar. “Enough foreplay!” He set the jar in my hand and winked. “Show us what that talented tongue does, sassy Tiger!”

I shook my head, opening the jar and ignoring the hoops and hollers that filled the bar. I pulled two cherries free of the stems and showed them to everyone before popping them into my mouth. My tongue worked the top into a knot with ease before I turned it and did the same to the bottom, finishing the not-so-impressive heart shape by shoving my tongue between the two stems and bending the top with a tiny bit of pressure. Pulling it out of my mouth, I showed the group the little cherry stem heart and set it down on the bar top. “There. Like I said, not very impressive.”

Ari gave me a look as she fanned herself. “That was so hot.”

Quinn shot her a teasing look and laughed as Ari pinched her arm. Sasha clapped loudly. “Tiger Bitch you never fail!”

Jake picked the cherry stem heart up and looked at it for a minute before he turned to tease me. “That’s cute.”

“Shut up,” I groaned, trying to flick it out between his fingers. But instead, he moved it out of the way and laughed as I shoved him toward the kitchen. “Go get changed, loser.”

*

He squeezed past the busty, doe-eyed girl as she smiled, batting her eyelashes at him, and went upstairs to follow Lena’s advice and change. When he opened his locker to find the familiar sleek black leather of his jacket, Jake smiled. How the hell did she even get this up here? Her perfume was all over it, covering up the boozy musk he’d been so used to the old thing reeking of. God, he wanted to keep it to his nose and burn that smell into his sinuses.

After he changed into a simple T-shirt and jeans, he slid the jacket over his shoulders and put the cherry stem heart in his pocket, already thinking of how much fun he’d have pulling it out to randomly tease his little redhead. The doorway filled with the familiar copper-haired brute and the thinner bald man. Patrick and Peter looked around for a minute before they looked at each other. “You wanna start, or should I?

Peter scoffed, “I’m the oldest. I’ll start.”

“There a problem?” Jake asked calmly. If they’d wanted to kick his ass, Patrick certainly would have done it by now.

“Not yet,” Patrick replied, keeping his arm out as Peter took a step forward.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” the brother said with a grin. “Oz and Pat have been pretty good at keeping me in the loop regarding you and my little sister.”

Jake shook his head, leaning back against his locker. “There’s not much to tell. We’re friends.”

Patrick rolled his eyes, mumbling something in a different language that made Peter chuckle. “Friends is hardly the word I’d use to describe you two. But I don’t care what you call it so long as one thing stays the same. You respect her.”

“God knows she’s had enough of dumb little pretty boys taking advantage of her,” Patrick added, giving him a stern look, not unlike the ones he’d been giving him from the start. 

“Listen, Jake,” Peter continued. “I know, my sister. I know she comes off as this strong, indestructible force of nature that can kick anyone’s ass, and that doesn’t feel a damn thing.” He winced as he shifted, balancing himself on Patrick’s waiting arm. “Lena is strong… She is one of the strongest people I know, but she’s still human. It still hurts when people she cares about let her down.”

“And you think she cares about me?” He asked, trying to sound amused to cover up the way he genuinely wanted to know.

Patrick nodded, quietly making sure Peter wouldn’t fall. “She doesn’t bring just anyone to the old place, and she’s brought you more than enough times. Even talked about pops.”

“She also shared Cape Cod with you.” Peter nodded. “Yeah, I know about that. If she trusts you with that, then it means something. So, I’ll just cut to the chase to make a long conversation short. You hurt her, and I will kill you. Dom will be on board. He already isn’t too fond of you, so making it look like an accident or some bs will be a breeze.”

Jake looked at the thin, sickly man whose suit hung off him in a way that would typically be comedic. He could take Peter down with one light push if he wanted to. But, instead, he remembered how Lena spoke of him, of the big brother that loved to box and was kind and good. Peter may not have looked like a boxer now, but the rest remained true. So, Jake took his warning with a humble nod. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

A smile spread on his face as he nodded. “Good. Now let’s go before she realizes we’ve been sneaky.”

Patrick helped him back down the stairs sparing Jake a last look over his shoulder. It was a quick and simple look of gratitude as he nodded his head to Jake that made him feel weird. He’d never had someone like Patrick’s approval… never had someone’s big brother treat him with respect instead of just chasing him out of his one-night stands with cuss words and physical threats. Jake held back a minute to sit in the feeling before putting on his black beanie and going back downstairs.

*

“Where to now, big brother?” I asked when Peter and Patrick returned from the bathroom. “The night is yours.”

Peter shrugged for a minute. “The old arcade?”

Sasha clapped his hands together. “I’ve never been to an American arcade! Is it shit?”

Patrick laughed, “Absolutely!”

“Can we come?” The Russian pleaded, his studded sleeves catching in the light as he brought his hands together to beg. “Please, little sick boy!”

“Everyone is more than welcome to come,” Peter insisted. “The more, the merrier, I always say. Unless the more are doctors, then it’s not as fun.”

Jake strode out from the kitchen, wearing his leather jacket and a simple black beanie. It was stupid how happy seeing him back in the jacket I’d bribed Isaac into sneaking into his locker. I hadn’t noticed before how well it suited him… how good he really looked in it. His lips curled into a smile as he caught my blatant stare. “Arcade?” I blurted out. “You coming with?”

“Aren’t those for kids?” He asked.

“They’re fun,” I insisted. “You coming or not, grumpy?”

Sasha leaned over the counter and tugged on Jake’s hat. “Come on, grumpy Jake! Join us in being children tonight!”

“You’re a child every night, Sasha,” Jake retorted, fixing his hat.

“I have to stop by my place to change,” I told Peter and Patrick as they started heading toward the door. “Please, for the love of god, tell me you two are going to change too.”

They laughed but nodded. Patrick waved his hand at me. “Of course. I wouldn’t want to ruin my suit!”

“See you there?” Peter asked, checking his watch. “Ten minutes?”

“See you in ten.”

Quinn nodded toward Prue and Will. “I’m catching a ride with them.”

“Se you there. Don’t let them fuck in the back of the cab!”

“On it!” She yelled back before disappearing out the door after Will and Prue.

I pointed to the rest of the group. “I can help cover cab fare with anyone that needs it, but I’ve gotta run home first.”

Sasha and Ari quickly raised their hands. “We want to see your apartment!”

“Why?” I asked.

“We have a bit of a bet going,” Ari admitted.

Sasha nodded, smirking. “I think you live like I do, filthy with sex toys and lingerie everywhere!”

Ari rolled her eyes. “And I think you’re a neat freak with drawers dedicated to your dirty sexy little secrets.”

“You two are nuts,” I replied. “But come on.”

“Got room for one more?” Jake asked.

I smiled. “I thought you were above the arcade.”

“I never said that,” he answered. “Can I ride with you or not?”

“Sure, just try not to let us children get on your nerves too much.”

The cab ride was pretty short, and before I knew it, I was leading two loud, obviously, already kind of drunk individuals up my front steps. Jake followed behind them quietly, taking in the sights of my building’s newly painted hallway as I unlocked my front door. Sasha and Ari scurried inside like two hyperactive dogs, quickly looking around to confirm or deny their bets. Once Jake stepped over the thresh hold, I closed the door and flipped on the lights. “Tada. Is it everything you hoped it would be?”

Sasha pouted as he handed Ari a twenty-dollar bill. “I’m disappointed in you, Tiger Bitch. I thought you’d be more of a mess.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” I replied, patting his cheek as I passed. My apartment was nothing special. Most of my essential belongings were in my old bedroom above the gym, safely tucked away with two of the people I trusted most. Jake went straight for the bookshelf, leafing through my collection while Sasha and Ari opened drawers and cabinets randomly, trying to sniff out my secrets. “Make yourselves at home. I’ll just be a minute.”

I closed my bedroom door behind me, quickly fishing out my comfiest pair of jeans and a simple long-sleeved shirt from my drawers. Tossing them onto my bed, along with my comfortable shoes, I started trying to attempt the zipper on my dress. I could barely reach it, but no matter how much I pulled or wiggled the damn thing, it didn’t budge. Finally, with a frustrated sigh, I kicked off my shoes and opened my door.

“Hey,” I called out into the living room, turning my back to the now-open door. “Someone help me with this piece of shit zipper?”

I’d expected Ari or Sasha to come to my aid, but a familiarly rough hand settled on my back, and his smokey smell wafted around me. Jake’s fingers carefully brushed my hair over my shoulder, skimming the strip of exposed skin and causing a ripple of pleasure to shoot down my spine. I held in the unholy noise that threatened to make him even more smug and unbearable in his flirtatious pursuit. He pulled on the zipper a few times before it finally loosened, and the warm pads of his fingers glided down my spine, following the shape of the snake tattooed there until he stopped at the middle of my back. “Think you can get it the rest of the way from here?”

Swallowing the heated lump in my throat, I looked at him over my shoulder, smiling like a dumbass. “Yeah, I can get it. Thanks.”

Jake smirked, his eyes shamelessly drinking in the sight of my bare back. “No problem, princess.”

Damn him and that stupid nickname. I slid back behind the safety of my bedroom door, closing it with a quiet sigh. He’s just a friend. I reminded myself. Don’t be a dummy, you fucking dummy! I double-checked that the door was closed before sliding the dress off and shoving on my less-revealing clothes. I washed the makeup off my face and fixed a few puffed-up sections of my hair, securing the half updo and heading back to my living room.

Sasha and Ari were raccoons, sniffing through my kitchen and pulling my couch apart. Jake leaned against the wall by my door, reading one of the books he’d pulled off my shelf. “Sasha! Put my couch back together!”

“Where are the sex toys?” He whined. “I know they’re here!”

“Leave my sex toys alone, you Russian raccoon. Ari, don’t eat all my crackers.”

“Sorry,” she said with a mouthful of food. “I’m so high right now.”

Jake raised his brow. “What, no scolding for me?”

I shook my head. “I’m just as surprised as you.”

“Hemmingway?” He asked, lifting up the book. 

“It’s a classic.” I pulled it out of his hands and set it on the shelf. “Alright, let’s go. The arcade is just a little ways past Ozzy’s.”

Ari groaned. “We’re walking?”

“You walk everywhere,” I reminded her, practically shoving them all out my door and locking it behind me.

“I’m really high, though,” she laughed, leaning against Sasha.

He waved us on. “I’ve got her. Just lead the way.”

Jake and I took up the front, casually tagging one another at random and making small talk about the neighborhood and the arcade. It got easier to ignore the loud remarks Ari and Sasha made about Jake and Is “upcoming fucking" as they liked to call it. Though I could tell they made Jake tense up more each time.

The old arcade light shone brightly across the street, where the rest of our group huddled together, waiting. “There you are!” Heather rolled her eyes and slid beneath Sasha’s waiting arm. “These people are insane!”

“You can say that again,” the Russian agreed.

“Hey, Jake,” Olive chirped with an awkward wave.

His brows furrowed, but he waved back regardless as we made our way inside. It was shitty; old arcades usually were around here. You could practically taste the burnt pizza crust and cheap soda that was always just a little too watered down. Lights were on in every corner, flashing and dashing and everything in between. It was chaos. The chaos screamed with some of my few good memories from childhood.

I’d spent hours here on weeks when I was with my dad and the boys. We’d all spend the day running errands for Nana to earn enough change to buy some coins. Patrick rigged every game he touched, winning hundreds of tokens and ending up with the biggest prizes. Peter worshiped laser tag and got crazy good at it, while I just enjoyed the sounds and the freedom.

Breathing in the shitty air, I smiled. “God, this place is great.”

“It’s interesting,” Jake said quietly, analyzing the don’t room. “You spend a lot of time here?”

“When I was with my dad,” I admitted. “The three of us used to be quite the hit around here. Quinn too.

“I can imagine.”

Nudging him, I gestured to everything. “You ever get to waste time in a shit hole like this?”

He shook his head. “Not really. Simone hates these places, so she always found some excuse to keep me far away.”

The anger I felt toward Simone grew at that moment. Denying Jake so much of his childhood over something as minor as her own opinion was selfish. Though it wasn’t surprising considering the woman’s need for control. My brothers and Will stood by the door to the laser tag arena, their eyes lighting up as they caught mine, waving me over to get me to join their game. “So… You’ve never played laser tag before?”

“Nope,” he said.

They waved me over again, big eyes begging as they shouted please at me. “Come on then. You’re gonna lose your laser tag virginity.”

Jake rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Am I?”

“Come on,” I pleaded. “You’re being such a grump!”

“I’d be far less grumpy if I was drunk.”

“You gotta give this place a real shot. Come on!” I grinned. “I’ll let you be on my team.”

Finally, he gave in and nodded. “Fine, one game. But you owe me.”

I scoffed. “Resorting to extortion? That’s a new low.”

“Low but effective.”

“Alright, I’ll owe you. Now, let's go.”

Olive slipped into the group, evening out the teams. We all stood in the back room, getting fitted into our vests and assigned our guns. Olive, Jake, and I were on the blue team, while my brothers and Will were on the red team. The employees gave a very dull presentation on the game's safety and the rules while Patrick and I made faces at each other and silent threats with our hands.

“Don’t be fooled by Peter’s sickly appearance,” I warned, making sure my vest fit snuggly. “He’s an absolute powerhouse at laser tag.”

Jake smirked, overconfident. “Yeah?”

I slapped his arm. “Yeah, and he’s not gonna go easy on you, first time or not. Don’t even try to go up against Patrick. That asshole is insane, and he’s not afraid to throw a punch or two to win.”

“Sounds like you guys really hate losing.”

“We’re competitive,” I replied. “Especially when losers have to treat.”

“Competitive and cheap,” he said with a laugh. “You Harrows are somethin’ else.”

Rolling my eyes, I stepped forward, tightening one of his straps. Then, looking up at him through my lashes, I smiled, “Try to keep up grumpy.”

Olive cleared her throat and stepped up closer to us. “This is gonna be awesome, right?”

I stepped back and laughed. “Absolutely.”

Patrick narrowed his eyes at me, sticking his tongue out. Then, he shouted in Irish, “Your little boyfriend’s ass is mine, girly!”

“Not if I get your ass first!” I shouted back, flipping him off. “Pete, try not to overdo it!” Peter rolled his eyes, carefully following the employee back to their respective starts. 

The laser tag arena was two floors of walls, both large and short, with holes in various spots for aiming. The three of us stood on the far end, against the blue wall. From there, I could see the red wall peaking up over the second floor. The lights dimmed, and the neons glowed brighter, illuminating the shitty pattern on the carpet and casting all of us in a glow of ugly bright colors. Jake didn’t look ugly, though. As I turned to look up at him, I couldn’t ignore how the blue brought out his eyes and how the haze of greens, reds, and yellows made him look like he’d been carved from stone. 

He looked down at me with a smile, one of the rare ones that wasn’t some shit-eating smirk that followed his quips or the stiff ones I was convinced he smiled just because it was expected of him. “Better stay close, Red,” he said, tugging on a strand of my slightly luminous hair. I rolled my eyes and waited for the countdown and the vests' buzz, signaling the game's start. 

Peter would stay low. He had the energy to play, but that didn’t mean he had the energy to climb to the next level or down when the game ended. Patrick would go high, he always did to try to get some kind of advantage on the other team, and he liked jumping down and scaring people. And then there was Will. Will was the wildcard. I hadn’t played with him before, but he seemed like the type that would be surprisingly good at the game.

It began in earnest when the fog machines kicked in with that familiar hissing sound. We walked forward, and Olive practically curled into Jake’s side, not even bothering to keep her gun up. Peter’s vest peeked out from one of the barricades as he swiftly vanished in the fog. I stopped, quickly aiming and shooting the lit-up red vest just as Patrick jumped down, trying to catch us off-guard. He made a fuss for a moment before he grinned as Peter and Will emerged behind us.

Olive went down easy as Jake and I dodged to the side, squeezing into a little covered half circle. Chest to chest, I could smell his lightly spiced cologne and smoke as I looked up and smiled. “This close enough for you?”

Jake hummed, pressing himself even closer to me. “Not nearly close enough.”

“Peter’s the one to worry about.” I turned my head away from his intense gaze, looking at the little section I could see. “If Will’s smart, he’ll be going up top to try and get a better view.”

“I go high, you go low?” He asked.

“It’s a decent plan,” I answered.

He nodded to the dark foggy arena. “Let’s go then. I’d hate to owe your brothers a drink.”

I slipped out first, going right where Peter had been last. Glancing back at Jake, who headed left toward the upper level, I admired the bright smile on his face and the gleam of a childhood dream being fulfilled. My brother was moving slower than usual, which led us to our stalemate, him behind one of the erect barriers and me behind one of the kneeling ones. “Having fun, Pete?”

“I’m about to kick your ass at laser tag. Of course, I’m having fun!”

With a laugh I stood, aiming my gun at the barrier he should have been behind, only to have him jump out from a different one and hit square on the sensor. “Damn! You’re moving quicker than I thought!”

He shrugged. “I’ll admit I have had to resort to some of Patrick’s trickery.”

His vest flashed as a laser from up top hit the sensor. Jake smirked down at us. “Trickery aside, that was a good game.”

Peter nodded. “Looks like we owe you two a drink.”

“Don’t worry about it tonight,” I said, patting my brother on the back. “We’ll demand payment in two or three business days.”

“How considerate of you.”

In the back room where we removed our gear, Olive chattered about how fun the game was and how amazing Jake did. A heavy pit began to form in my chest as I watched her hop on her feet, drawing Jake’s eyes to the low neckline of her top and the very obvious cleavage that practically spilled out of it. It was a decent move to get a man's attention, one I couldn’t fault her for taking advantage of, but something about it bothered me. I felt… disappointed… disappointed that he looked? No. I shook my head and smiled as Jake turned to look at me. “Good game. You’re now officially no longer a laser tag virgin.”

“It was pretty straightforward,” he answered. “But it was nice having a seasoned vet in my corner.”

The six of us returned to the main lobby, purchasing coins and slowly making our way through various games. Quinn pulled me onto the dance machine next to her the second I tried to slide past. “Dance with me!”

“You dance all night for a living,” I teased. “How can you have the energy for this?”

“I have godly stamina,” she replied, winking at Ari. “You know that, Lee.”

“Alright, bring it on, stamina goddess!”

Both of us bobbed to the music that played over the shitty surround system, barely even looking at the screens before we started moving our feet. Left. Left. Right. Back. Right. Front. It brought me back to when Quinn and I first started hanging out. The wild nights of her and I ripping up the arcade with Patrick and Peter until Dad and Ozzy eventually came to drag us home. 

She grabbed my hand, belting out the song's words and urging me to give in to the music. “Move your hips, Lena, just like I taught you!” Through the others gathered around cheering us on, I could feel Jake’s eyes. Unlike the many times before, this time, there was a rush to have captured his gaze. It made my face burn and my heartbeat quicken ever so slightly as I tried to focus on the moves, not him.

Quinn won. She always won; of course, when she did, she was unbearable about it. “HA!” She cheered, jumping up and down, shaking her ass at me. “And that is why stamina is important, kids!”

I slapped her hip and hopped down. Patrick took my place and grinned at her. “Let’s go, Quinny.”

Prue waved me to where she and Will stood next to Jake and Olive at the mini golf course. “Grab a putter and come with us!”

Jake clapped his hands together. “Quite the show you gave us, princess.”

I followed Prue’s instructions and smirked at him. “Never would have pegged you for a golf guy.”

“I’m not,” he admitted. “Prue’s convincing, though.”

“Yeah, she’s good at dragging people to do stuff.” I swung my putter around a little. “What’d she bribe you with?”

“Secrets,” Jake whispered, smacking my putter with his.

I rolled my eyes. “Liar. Prue’s an angel. No amount of golf could convince her to sell my secrets.”

Jake shrugged. “Maybe, but I can be convincing too.”

Prue and Will headed inside, leading the group in the shittiest and shortest mini-golf course. Jake was surprisingly shit at it, which made the whole thing much more fun. Olive was good, clearly coming from that family that always went mini golfing on vacations, but she purposefully stuck back. I bit my lip, watching her stand just a little too close to Jake as he lined up his shot. Prue rubbed my arm and quietly asked, “You good?”

I finished the final hole and smiled at her. “I’m good.”

The employee looked at my card and gave me a string of tickets as I exited and headed toward the ticket counter. I didn’t want to focus on how I felt seeing Olive glued to Jake’s side all night. I didn’t want to admit that maybe… just maybe, the little green monster had bitten my ass while I wasn’t looking. Even worse, I didn’t want to admit that the little green monster was only a symptom of a much larger and much more complicated feeling. So instead, I waited for them to count my tickets and give me whatever shitty prize I’d won. 

From the front, I could see everyone laughing with each other as they moved from one game to another. Sasha had his arms around Ari and Heather, pointing out how most game names could be dirty if you said them right. Peter sat in his wheelchair, tossing the small basketballs across the long game toward the hoop. He was good, but I could see the effort it took him now to keep getting the ball through the hoop. Patrick stood beside him, tossing balls, each one missing completely. 

Jake strolled out of the mini-golf section and put his gear away before making his way to my side. “Finally finished?”

Leaning against the counter, he replied, “I told you I’m not a golf guy.”

“Yeah, well, a little golf didn’t kill you,” I teased. “Got any tickets to cash in?”

“You actually keep those?” He questioned with a raised brow.

“Hell yeah!” I insisted, nodding to the wall of cheap toys. “I wouldn’t miss out on this goldmine.”

He chuckled, watching the man behind the counter finish counting and pull a little stuffed frog out from beneath the counter. “This is what I’ve got for thirty tickets.”

I giggled, looking at the tiny crooked crown, its angry face, and its too-long limbs. “It’s perfect, thank you.” Then, turning to present the stuffed animal to Jake, I grinned. “See? Who wouldn’t want this?”

He nodded along. “It’s quite the prize for all your hard work. You gonna name it too?”

Humming, I looked at the little angry frog face and laughed. “I think I’ll call him Jake.”

Jake laughed and shook his head. “How creative.”

“He even looks like you,” I replied, showing him the grumpy face and laughing harder.

“Jake!” Olive called out, hurrying from the golf cave with a handful of tickets. “You forgot your tickets.”

With a sigh, he took them from her hands and tossed them over the counter to the employee, who started counting them. “Thanks.”

She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at him. “This has been quite a night, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he answered, barely looking at her. “It’s been fun.”

“I thought arcades were too childish for your adult tastes,” I responded. “Is this you admitting that maybe I was right?”

He rolled his eyes. “It is childish, but I guess I liked it more than I thought I would.”

I nodded. “Soooo, I was right?”

Jake laughed and shook his head but relented all the same. “You were right.”

The employee finished counting the tickets and set another frog on the counter. “Here’s your prize.”

Jake looked at the frog with a wide grin before he turned it around to show it to me. His frog had a similar crown but had exaggerated red lips and long eyelashes with little stars in its eyes. “Aww, you got a cute one! You gonna name it?”

“I think I’ll call her Lena,” he replied with a shit-eating grin. “Even looks like you.”

“Oh ha ha,” I answered, swatting his cheek with my frog. “You’re hilarious.”

Olive stood close by us, awkwardly waiting for an opening to show off the simple eraser she’d gotten with her handful of tickets before she politely asked Jake to show her how a game worked. He stuffed his frog into his pocket and walked back into the game section of the arcade as I found a nearby place to sit to give my feet a break. Quinn slid into the seat across from mine, turning to glare at the dark-haired girl across the room. “Are we fucking this bitch up or not?”

“What are you on about?” I asked with a nervous laugh.

“Uhh, the new bitch that’s been glued to your man’s side all night, twirling her hair and touching up on him.” She elaborated as Prue sat beside me.

“That bitch needs to go down,” she signed. “Touching his chest. Putting her dirty hoe ass hands on YOUR jacket!”

I rolled my eyes and swallowed that annoying sense of possessive jealousy that had threatened to overtake me all night. The one I was NOT entitled to feel. “Jake isn’t my man, and the jacket is his. If he wants to flirt with her, he can. He should! We’re just friends.”

Quinn shook her head, pointing to my face. “Ohhh, you’re fuckin pissed!”

“I am not!”

Prue smoothed a finger down the tight crease in between my eyebrows. “Damn, she better back off before you send her to a morgue!”

I rolled my eyes at her and shoved Quinn’s finger down with a sigh. “Listen, Jake is a big boy. He is free to make his own decisions. We’re. Just. Friends.”

The two looked at one another before rolling their eyes. “Right, just friends, whatever you wanna call it, Lee.”

They leaned back, giving me a clear view of Olive giggling at whatever he’d said and tugging on the sleeve of his jacket, pulling him toward some game. This was dumb. Irrational even. Jake was my friend, a friend I liked because friends like each other. It didn’t mean I liked him or had any reason to be angry that someone else liked him too. On the contrary, Jake was fun to be around and fun to flirt with, and I was not the only one entitled to enjoy those things.

After my feet felt a bit less sore, I returned to the fun. Olive now stood with everyone else, watching Sasha and Patrick battle it out on the dance machine. Jake wasn’t with them. I tapped Olive’s shoulder, asking over the noise, “Where’d Jake go?”

She shrugged. “We were over there by the older arcade games. When I turned around to ask him which one he wanted to try, he was gone. I figured he was with you.”

I ignored the snark in her tone and followed her finger over to where she’d said they were when she lost track of him. The annoyingly jaunty tune from the old Swimmer arcade game echoed in my ear as I looked at the group of teenagers attempting to play it. The small figure of the man hit a log before slowly sinking into the water. Game over. Shit. I hurried toward the nearest bathroom, hoping Jake was as easy to predict as I was in moments of panic.

“Jake?” I knocked on the bathroom door before slowly pushing it open just enough that he could hear me. “Jake? It’s Lena.” All I could hear for a minute was the sound of the water running, but the longer I stood in the doorway, the more obvious the uneven sound of his breathing got. “I’m gonna come in… Okay?”

He didn’t speak as I opened the door and quickly shut it behind me. Jake sat on the floor, his face wet and his chest heaving with the effort each sharp breath he sucked in took. I knelt down in front of him, taking up the space between his legs. “Can you tell me what you need?”

Jake shook his head, eyes glossy with tears he refused to let fall. “That’s okay,” I assured him. “Let’s just focus on breathing.” I slowly took hold of his hand and pressed it to my chest, sliding closer to him. “Can you feel my heartbeat?”

He nodded.

“Can you feel my breaths?”

He nodded again.

“Good. Now just try and breathe with me, okay?” I took deep, slow breaths counting quietly out loud to give him some kind of audible distraction. After a few minutes, his breathing began to match my own. “There you go. Just focus on breathing.” Jake’s blue eyes watched me closely, a fear I was familiar with staring back at me. I hadn’t seen this side of him before, and I had no idea what he needed, so I just squeezed his hand and smiled at him, calm and gentle. “You’re here,” I told him, imagining all the times my dad had said the same to me. “You’re safe with me.”

That did something. The fear slowly shifted to a deep look of relief, and then just as quickly, his eyes tore away from me, and his face burned with embarrassment and frustration. I didn’t move, not even when he pulled his hand away from my chest, setting the still, slightly shaking limb on his knee as he flattened his legs out. After a moment of silence, he spoke, voice slightly off. “You can go now. I’m fine.”

“It’s okay not to be okay sometimes,” I said softly. The unspoken message was communicated as I retook hold of his hand. I’m here.

Jake chuckled breathlessly. “Not for me.”

“Why not?” I asked. He didn’t answer, just kept his eyes trained on the wall. For a minute, I just let him catch his breath before I squeezed his hand. “You’re human too, Jake. And after everything that’s happened… That biker asshole punching you and my shit in Cape Cod combined with your own Cape-related stuff. So understandably, you’d be feeling overwhelmed.”

Jake sighed. “It’s so fucking stupid. All this over a dumb arcade game.”

“It’s not stupid.” I stroked my thumb over the back of his hand. “It took me years to get over that shitty fake drowning animation. I still can’t go swimming. No matter how shallow the water is, I always feel like I’m going to sink.” His eyes held the understanding that his face refused to show as he looked at me for a second. “We don’t get to choose what affects us. We just have to do our best to get through it.”

A cold, empty look settled on his face as he retreated back into the safety of his shell with only a quiet mumbled, “Thank you.” 

“That’s what friends are for,” I answered, slowly withdrawing. “I’ll give you a few minutes to yourself.”

He didn’t answer, just nodded stiffly. 

Coming from a place of absolutely no experience with Jake after a panic attack, I couldn’t offer him much, and it was likely even he didn’t know what he needed. Some space was all I could really give him. And even that didn’t feel like enough. He was my friend, and though he’d opened up to me significantly over the past few months, Jake was still Jake. He was closed off and private about the serious stuff. Even after everything I’d shared with him, he’d given me the bare minimum about himself. That was okay. I was prepared to take the friendship at his pace, given his seemingly limited experience with this sort of thing outside Simone’s well-crafted role.

Jake thought he had to do it all alone, just like I did after moving away from my mother. I was determined to show him he didn’t, just like my dad and Oz and Peter and Patrick had shown me. I didn’t have to suffer alone, and neither did Jake. I kept the group busy while Jake took whatever time he needed, which evidently wasn’t much. It took him all of five minutes to slip out of the bathroom and silently make his way to the door, leaving without a word to anyone. I watched him go, quietly hoping he’d be okay. 

The night dragged on, and no one commented on Jake’s absence. He’d done this a lot, I’d gathered. Finally, when the arcade closed for the night, everyone parted ways. Peter was exhausted though he’d never openly admit it, and Patrick had efficiently worn him out too. I helped them get home, opting to stay the night in the old apartment just in case Peter needed anything. The three of us collapsed onto Peter’s old bed, now clean with fresh sheets. 

His room was still pretty bare, boxes holding most of his belongings, so none of it got lost while he was away, but the gentle green that painted the walls and the boxing paraphernalia that remained made him smile as he pushed his head into his pillow, fluffing it gently. “I forgot how good real beds feel.”

Patrick rolled onto our legs, trapping us to the bed as he used our limbs to stretch out his back. “Tomorrow, we can continue celebrating, but let’s all just enjoy the peace and quiet for tonight.”

“You enjoy the quiet?” I laughed, lifting my leg to dig my foot into the spot between his shoulders where I knew he held most of his tension. “That’s a good idea, Pat, one of your first!”

“Shut up.”

We laughed for a minute or two before letting the room grow quiet. Outside, the noises of the city were muffled against the sound of Peter’s ceiling fan whirling and the bumping of the old furnace kicking on randomly every few minutes. The sounds of home always helped me drift off, but as I curled into the blankets, Peter mumbled, already half asleep, “I like him.”

“Who?” I asked in a mostly teasing tone. “The arcade guy?”

Peter kicked me. “Jake, you idiot.”

Opening my eyes, I looked at his face, searching for the sarcastic quip that was no doubt coming. Peter was sincere, though, his calm face bathed in the moonlight from his window as he smiled. “You do?”

“He reminds me of you when you still lived with mom.” He shook his head, chuckling. “He seems polite too. Didn’t even laugh when my skinny ass threatened to kill him if he hurt you.”

“When did you do that?”

Patrick groaned from the bottom of the bed. “Did you really think we needed to go to the bathroom?”

I sighed. “You two are idiots. Nothing is happening with Jake and me, so your stupid little threat was pointless.”

Peter just smiled a little wider. “I know you better than anyone, sis. Nothing is going on right now, but you like him.”

“He’s conventionally attractive, but he’s-”

“Your type. Stop pretending you haven’t thought about it.”

“I haven’t,” I insisted. It was a lie, of course, but they didn’t need to hear that.

Patrick laughed, shaking the bed. “Was she always so bad at lying? Or has she just gotten worse over the last few months?”

Peter joined in. “Oh, she’s definitely gotten worse.”

“Fuck both of you,” I replied, trying to kick both of them.

The room grew quiet again, and Peter pulled me into his side, hugging me tightly. “I mean it, though; he seems like an okay guy.”

“Thanks, Pete.” I snuggled into his side, glad to finally have him home again. “Now shut the fuck up and go to sleep. Your sick little ass needs it.”

When my idiot brothers finally closed their eyes and started snoring, I flipped my phone open, scrolling to Jake’s contact and sending a simple message.

Goodnight, Jake.

I lay in bed, watching the hands of the clock until my phone lit up. Relief made the tension I’d been holding onto disappear as I melted into the bed, smiling at his equally simple response.

Goodnight, Lena.

[liauditore]

The thoughts, hand em over. (No pressure but I wanna hear em :D)

oh god what have u done.

context.

OK SO,. (BE WARNED THIS IS LIKE. REALLY LONG AND BRAINROTTY.)

first off i must put here as per the law i am not in fact armchair psychoanalysing mc youtubers grian and mister scott S. major this is me looking at the 3L series as is it were a performance and their actions in said series as characters and blah blah blah so on so forth this is Fanfiction and Shipping and woowoOOwoo We Are Being Sillyyy with a miku song.

i'm gonna infodump abt a bunch of stuff including some heavy topics like emotional abuse and dubcon (NOT in detail the song just has those vibes)

so uh if you're reading this for Some Reason know that 👍

ALRIGHT WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY Vampire the song itself is (at least my reading of it) a song about a toxic relationship. The singer is very much not a Good Person and the main chorus is just them disregarding their partner's needs and pushing the relationship even further.

But the singer isn't completely irredeemably evil, since they really do love the person they're abusing (in a childish sense of the word love, anyway) and seem to be at least acutely aware of how they're not really a good person.

But of course, they "eh whatever" these self-reflections pretty fast cus they're having fun with the relationship. This specific set of translyrics reads to me like a bit of self-victimizing as well like "oh, I'm so tortured by feeling like a bad person because of the way I treat you. But I love you so you don't really have a choice but to forgive me."

Speaking of translyrics this is where Micchi's version comes in. While I ADORE Rachie and Anthong's version I do have some nitpicks..? And one of those that I am unreasonably pet peeved by is this right here.

In the original JP version, the lyric is simply kimi mo vampire, meaning simply You're (also) a Vampire. It's alot more obvious a change and hits harder imo than "My little Vampire" which still puts the singer in the position of power.

Micchi's version of the lyrics on the other hand stick a lot closer to the original

And I might just be imagining this but there seems to be a switch in the power dynamic in this version as well. The singer is now inviting their partner to be "rough" with them and the repeating mantra of "you're the ONLY ONE for me" sounds more desperate than anything else.

Micchi's lyrics in general are a bit more wet cat coded. I still prefer Rachie's as a whole but Micchi's singer definitely seems to be more regretful of what they've done and blame themselves for essentially turning their partner into a different, more hostile person. (aka turning them into a vampire lol)

In a lot of ways the vampire metaphor is really unsubtle. Bloodsucking parasite attaches themselves to someone and turns them into a bloodsucking parasite as well.

SO HOW THE FUCK DID I GET GRAIN AND SCOOTER FROM THIS WELL.....

When I think about 3L one of the main things that lights up the lightbulb in my mind is the parallels between all of the four "main" partnerships, with Renchantyn vs Desert Duo as the most obvious comparison point but I think they all mirror and subvert each other really well.

Grian/Scott are like birds of a feather to me in a similar sense that Scott/Cleo are, but while Scott and Cleo have this mutual understanding with each other with Grian it's a bit more complicated.

I CAN't. FOR THE LIFE OF ME. FIND IT AGAIN bUT there was a bit in Third Life when Scott said to Grian "and maybe once our husbands are dead we can be free" and Grian laughs and that basically inspired this Whole Thing 🙏🙏

(an apology for all the wholesome flower husbands shippers who i know follow me cus im about to unleash my full toxic yaoi adaptation of them) (desert duo fans from what ive seen are already insane so you're okay)

In my own mind Grian and Scott are both somewhat.. manipulative? Might be a bit harsh of a word? But they definitely play to survive more than some of the other people stuck in there with them. (cleo too but she sucks at it and she can get her character analysis essay next week)

At least in my view, their partnerships with Jimmy and Scar respectively were born more out of a need for safety in numbers and to get someone to essentially keep them safe until they're no longer of use. Grian definitely felt bad about creeper-ing Scar in the first episode but I don't think he was quite expecting to spend the whole series in debt to him 😭😭

Scott (like the singer in the song oh my god) isn't really a monster so to speak, just someone who has a messed up view of love. Probably has some sort of tragic backstory that explains the way he is that we'll get to see in the anime adaptation idk. He does care for Jimmy but in like.. the way someone might care for and love a pet. You LOVE your dog to fucking death but you wouldn't like.. trust your dog with taxes or respect its autonomy.

also these lyrics are both hilarious to me considering the uh current brainrot.

Grian on the other hand probably Wants to be like Scott and be able to have someone wrapped around his fingers like that but he can't cus it's Scar not Jimmy and he's Grian and not Scott. I imagine he'd get tired of Scar's shenanigans when he's with him but as soon as he's left the room it's all why's it so quiet D: where's scar D:

I like to think that everytime he THINKS he has a handle on Scar finally and can actually stand a chance to survive this thing Scar does something completely unhinged off the wall and Grian's like WAIT WAIT WAIT NO

basically he gets way too attached and doesn't like it and to make it worse he has no idea wtf is going thru Scar's head👍

SO when they eventually team up I think Scott and Grian would have this little "wink wink nudge nudge they don't know" kinda thing going on.

and then in my little fanfiction world somewhere along the line Scott would end up sensing that Oh, We're actually not exactly the same.. interesting.. and kind of start looking at Grian with this sense of amusement/pity cus aww, look at you getting all attached to the person you were planning to betray, that's so cute and Grian would see the worst of himself reflected back to him via Scott. It ends up strengthening Desert Duo's relationship if anything else.

Of course then Jimmy dies and Scott's emotionally destroyed by it but he's still like.. skirting around it. I'd like to think he gaslights himself with any genuine Emotions he has cus like.. he knew this was coming, this is all according to plan, so why would he feel anything for him now that he's gone?

While Scott gets some time to come to terms with the fact that he actually cared about Jimmy too late for him to repair their relationship Grian and Scar end up punching eachother to death in a cactus ring. The End 👍

tl;dr i need to pick up writing fanfics cus oh my god

[historyandmyth]

Please get started on lightning returns lmao

[sputters and laughs] This is the funniest ask I've ever gotten, partially because I don't think you know what you're uncorking here, anon. I do try to keep negativity off this blog nowadays, but I'll oblige you this one time.

Salt beneath the cut, click at your own risk, dead dove: do not eat, etc etc.

Naturally, given how central Lightning is to this game, most of my grievances are with how she was treated and written, though I'll quickly note my other problems with the game:

The fanservice obvs. :U

The combat. Why did we do things like replace the fully functional stagger gauge with the weird audio waveform readout? Seems like a strange choice when XIII-2 had actually made noticeable improvements in terms of accessibility during combat (larger health bars, more readable text, etc).

The incredibly discordant and hard-on-the-ears soundtrack.

I don't usually harp on graphics because I don't really care about how pretty or "realistic" a game looks, but when the dev company boasts that this game is the "most complete and polished" in the Final Fantasy series (not the trilogy, the entire series), and then we get... copy-pasted trees... well, let's just say that that's objectively not the case.

The fact that all of the previous main protagonists don't play more prominent roles in this final installment of the trilogy is abysmal, and this goes twice for Sazh whose "character arc" has been recycled twice now.

The fact that we lose this wonderful world we've spent the past two games exploring and growing attached to is also abysmal! I hate stories where we lose magic at the end, separate the found family, etc etc. and LR is guilty of all of that. It's such a kick in the teeth.

Here's what I did enjoy about this game:

Masculine outfits. They all look great on her. And even better is when you run by NPCs and half the time they can't figure out her gender! (Really furthers the enby!Lightning headcanon I have for this game in particular.)

The fact that you can have Lightning take a jab at Etro during Noel's main quest lmao.

The guy in Luxerion that sings the New Bodhum theme.

You get to pal around with Fang in the Dead Dunes.

...And that's it, that's all I enjoyed.

And now, what I really hate about LR and how they wrote Lightning in general is... Lumina.

Do not get me wrong. I don't hate Lumina for superficial reasons like her personality or aesthetics. If she wasn't inherently tied to Lightning, I think I'd find her rather interesting. Her voice actor did a stellar job with her!

Instead, to me, Lumina's existence is a really hilarious admission from the writers they didn't know what to do with Lightning's character post-XIII. Lightning—who was shown in the first game to be incredibly self-aware, genre-savvy, and emotionally mature—gets reduced to a character that needs to have her "emotions" trot out in front of her as a little girl that harps on and harasses her for things like, I don't know, allegedly pushing her friends away?

Friends that never offer to help her in the first place, I might add. If they really wanted to drive home the idea that Lightning was being aloof, they had ample opportunities to do so. But instead all we ever have is Lumina telling us what Lightning's intentions supposedly are. Lazy writing at its finest!

Lumina also accuses Lightning of trying to be "as cold as the steel in [her] sword," which is a notion later tied to Lightning "locking away" her heart as a child which is just... a really funny retcon when you once again consider how emotionally mature she becomes in XIII.

We did this character arc before. And we did it to much better effect! The whole Lumina/Claire fiasco is one of the biggest walk-backs I've ever seen for a character's development, it's insane.

(I've already spoken at length about how Lightning's character is not the self-sacrificial type, either; you can search my blog for the word 'sentinel' if you want those posts.)

It's just sad, because there are ways they could've played with Lightning's character that would have made sense and been in line with the things she'd gone through up until this point. If you wanted to mess with her emotions, you could've written her as bitter, exhausted, and traumatized after her extended stint in Valhalla. This could have been a natural and compelling consequence of her time as Etro's guardian. It wouldn't have resulted in a terrible rehash of her first game's character arc either lmao.

Anyway there's a lot more I could say but I'm just gonna end it here. LR bad but could have been pretty good with a little effort, the end!

[idaokiwatine]

as i'm agonizingly waiting for last twilight, here are some scenarios i like to imagine morkday in (begging this series to come out soon bc im going insane and i'm not sure how much more i can take.) anyways, here you go, i need to share my misery with other people:

- an aquarium date, after noticing day's liking towards fish when cleaning up day's fish tank, mork decides to bring him to a real life aquarium. he holds his hand while day gets as close as possible to the glass and mork describes to him the fish species that can be seen.

- day asking mork to read him his favorite book, or even better, mork telling him once about a book he loves and day asking him to read it for him (and mork doing so happily while explaining his favorite scenes)

- one night, as they're cuddling (mork loves being the little spoon and feeling safe and warm knowing there's someone out there who cares about him), mork wakes up terrified after a nightmare about being abandoned - since he doesn't have parental figures in his life anymore and has spent most of his life on his own - and as he turns around he sees day sleeping soundly with an arm around him. mork is suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as it dawns on him that he isn't alone anymore and that he is loved (for who he is, in spite of everything) (then he falls back to sleep at peace, putting his hand over day's and squeezing it tightly.)

- day is feeling down so mork puts some music on and convince him to dance together. (user @stormyoceans i will never move on from your fic it was the most beautiful thing i have ever read)

- mork is jealous of this guy who hangs out at day's house and who seems close to him (he doesn't know it yet, but the guy's name is august.) mork hasn't yet put a name on the confusing feelings he has for day, and he hates feeling this upset over what should be nothing. but he slowly realizes he is falling for day.

- day asks mork to take him to the garage he works at after finding out he's a mechanic. mork teaches him a lot about his job and day is eager to learn about mork's interest for cars.

- day wants to know more about mork and one afternoon he asks him about his music taste and the two share earphones as mork plays lana del rey. although day thinks the songs are a bit sad he doesn't say a thing and instead, asks him often after that day to listen to lana together. he likes the proximity of this activity and how it allows them to bond.

- on the days when going out seems too exhausting and day needs peace, mork would sit on day's bed and day would lay his head on mork's lap while mork plays with his hair and tells him stories about anything day wants.

- day finds out about mork's tattoo and as they're closer now, asks him if mork could describe to him what it looks like. mork suggests day touches the tattoo while mork describes each part and that's how they end up lying side by side, day tracing mork's tattoo on mork's bare skin as mork describes every line, every curve of the tattoo.

- day holding mork's face in his hands to know whether he's smiling or not (like in the trailer) (but it happens more than once)

that's it for now but expect more as i'm terribly attached to them already (for the ones who know me from twt i'm sorry for bringing my insanity here, it will happen again)

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 10/09/2023

Nut Ward

Season 7 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume Ruby

Ripped by Nafun

Tentative rip name: Gentle Shack

I'll keep today's post short due to various circumstances, but I also didn't really have much to say on it beforehand. Long story short - I really like The Nutshack.

For those somehow unaware, The Nutshack theme is the intro used for an adult animated series of the same name, and it gained some steam as a meme during 2016/2017. It was, on SiIva, used very prominently in Season 2 in particular, and was even the meme used to announce the ending of Season 1 back in 2016. The theme had a golden time in the sun, and the face of the meme Tito Dick has enjoyed a place in the SiIva channel lighthouse for a long time now, but...the Nutshack posting does feel as if its fallen to the wayside a bit more recently.

Until, as recently as this year, it started to come back again. It never really *left* per se, but during Season 7 we've been getting a pretty damn regular stream of creative and inspired Nutshack rips, pushing the joke in all sorts of new directions. It once felt as if all Nutshack was good for was simple mashups and ironic shitposting, but rips like Nut Ward prove that notion entirely wrong. Its an arrangement of Gentle Breeze from Trauma Center: Under the Knife 2, a song most popular in YTP shitposting, with the instrumentation and vocals of The Nutshack theme - its not merely a mashup, but an entire arrangement all in the same style. I was already a huge fan of Gentle Breeze-posting since long beforehand, so seeing The Nutshack get the opportunity to get arranged into its sound during its "great revival", so to speak...it didn't make me emotional, per se, but it certainly brought a smile to my face.

I'm still not entirely sure what to make of Season 7 as a whole, or at least not comfortable with asserting a statement like that until its all over. But with the Nutshack's gradual return, the heightened emphasis on Grand Dad, and regular chaos like the Season's April Fools day event with INDUSTRY KNIGHT (Beta Mix) and all that surrounded the release of Skibidden Toiree, it kind of feels like a modern-day incarnation of Season 1. Or rather, Season 1 with an insane degree of quality attached to it.

[finalyaksha]

Xiaoqing Analysis - Genius Invokaction TCG

There are a million swirling emotions within me and I need a place to express them so sorry if this analysis is mostly unhinged ramblings. 

I was already on board with how their card imagery looks so similar. Almost like Xiao is guarding Keqing’s front while she’s watching from the rear.

But then the update drops and this is actually canon.

Xiao has Keqing’s card in his deck. 

XIAOQING EXISTS IN THE TCG THANKS TO XIAO HIMSELF.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Not only that, but this is his CANON playstyle description.

“Xiao’s deck is centered around switching characters and Normal Attacks...”

WHICH IF YOU DON’T PLAY THE TCG, IS EXACTLY HOW KEQING IS PLAYED. 

“Lightning Stiletto Combat Action: Switch your Keqing in to be the active character and immediately use Stellar Restoration once. This instance of Stellar Restoration will grant Keqing Electro Infusion without creating another Lightning Stiletto. 

Electro Infusion When the character to which it is attached to deals Physical Damage, it will be turned into Electro DMG. ”

SO WE HAVE XIAO AND KEQING WHO BOTH FOCUS ON SWITCHING CHARACTERS AND NORMAL ATTACKS IN THEIR TCG GAMEPLAY.

Can we talk about the implications of this being insane??? 

I mean we’re already past the fact that their cards are L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y meant to be played together with Keqing’s switching enhancing Xiao’s plunging.

But there is already the BARE minimum being that they play TCG together. Canonically, the way to get another character’s card is to beat them in a match. So the fact that Keqing’s card is in Xiao’s active deck means that either:

A: Xiao, having beat Keqing in a TCG match, decided to formulate his deck’s playstyle entirely around the way her card is played, since it functions well with his own card.

B. Xiao, having already decided on how he is best able to play the game (switching), specifically sought Keqing out to add her card to his deck, knowing that they’d have good synergy together.

C. Keqing, having pity on this 2,000-year-old boomer, gave her card to him and helped him build a deck that would best satisfy his gameplay.

THE FACT THAT THEY PLAY TCG TOGETHER.

THEY PLAY TCG TOGETHER.

THIS BEING THE YUHENG XIAO REMEMBERS FROM THE OSIAL BATTLE IN WHICH HE WAS ABLE TO REMEMBER HER BECAUSE HER SWORDSMANSHIP WAS THAT GOOD. SO HE GOES LOOKING FOR HER TO PLAY TCG TOGETHER AND LIKES HER GAMEPLAY SO MUCH HE ADDS IT TO HIS DECK ORRRR SHE GOES OUT OF HER WAY TO PLAY WITH HIM AND HE’S SO IMPRESSED HE ADDS THE CARD TO HIS DECK

I’m SOBBING

They always have the smallest crumbs but the implications from them go SO CRAZY

I love this, I love Xiaoqing, I would very much like more of this, thank you Hoyoverse, please give me Xiaoqing playing TCG together on screen

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Xiaoqing Analysis Series

Xiao’s “Obsession” with Keqing

Why Xiaoqing