#it’s getting harder in my country
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It’s too late for the Dem’s to find someone else. Trump will enact holocaust genocide against all queer youth. It’s now or never. Feed the machine. Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck MAGA. Stay queer. Stay proud. We won’t be silenced. We won’t be nullified.
I’ll say it again, please just grit your teeth and vote for Biden…
#vote#fuck trump#vote blue#i said trans rights#trans#trans rights#biden#trump#fuck MAGA#america is committing genocide#america is a terrorist state#america bad#america is going to shit#dumpster fire america#it’s getting harder in my country
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I KEEP SEEING THAT VID OF CAP3 WITH THE NEW HEELS. SO I DREW IT OUT. ONE DAY THAT INKLING WILL BE ME.
#splatoon#splatoon fanart#agent 3#captain 3#agent 4#agent 8#agent neo 3#neo agent 3#agent 96#opal owl’s nest#no fuvkin clue when the amiibo will get to my country so Ill wait whsns#did they do a split? yes they did. Im not drawing that. (bc Im not in he mood for harder poses)
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like.......i know life isn't over, obviously, i lived as an adult through the last time this happened (although the risk for permanence is so much greater this time around), but just uh. knowing the level of popularity that a proudly hateful platform is able to generate is uhhhhh. pretty breathtaking.
#knowing that I'm at all times sharing the country with these people......#it gets harder and harder not to shut away in my home#cloister the people in my life
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if i have any canadian moots who are jumping on the bandwagon of switching to buying canadian products/anything but american products, here’s a couple of useful websites!
www.isthiscanadian.ca
this one lets you take a pic of the product and it will tell you if it’s a product of canada or not
www.madeinca.ca
this one is a database of canadian brands/products! it’s been really helpful in planning my grocery trips because i can find the category i need and have a list of brands to choose from :)
#ramble on exie#canadian politics#can poli#i slipped up a couple times in my shop today#but most of it was canadian products!#and i’m going to work even harder at making the switch to majority canadian products (some things we can’t produce here)#and anything that i can’t get canadian made i will find from countries other than the us#hope these help! at the very least it’s cool to make a conscious effort to support the homeland
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how being trans feels some days
#releasing this from my drafts because today sucks#i hate being trans in america and seeing me and my siblings used as cannon fodder for bigoted politicians#i love being trans. i love a lot of my fellow citizens. but i hate this country as a whole#to my fellow trans and otherwise marginalized americans: we WILL get through this#they’ll do everything they can to prevent us from doing so but we have to fight back and love each other even harder#bsd ranpo
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"european trans women on this site talking about their petty little problems with "transmisogynists" like. fucking excuse me???? im a TRANS MAN living in AMERICA do you even give a shit about the shit thats happening over here??? you are NOT allowed to voice ANY of your lived experiences if i decide that they make ME look bad!!! this is INFIGHTING! this is MISANDRY!! now is NOT the time for you fucking evil tra- uh.,, trans radfems, to be WHINING about how we 'oppress you'. we don't. now shut up and let the MEN talk."
-actual post i saw on my tl just now (obviously paraphrased with key subtext lol)
#in case anyone was curious i will outline the issues in order:#1. the condescending mansplain scold-y tone. very prominent among misogynists cis and otherwise#2. announcing youre american at every given opportunity (used here for pity points). like. okayyyyyy#2.5. implying the state of the US wrt anti-trans rhetoric and legislation alike arent primarily targeting transfeminine ppl#and that trans men are effectively caught in the crossfire with legislation and otherwise are not NEARLY as socially affected#3. passive aggressively pretending as if the utter state of the US doesnt have ramifications on all other countries :/#3.5. effectively ignoring or undermining any non-US folks that may be affected by anti-trans political rhetoric (youre not us so who care)#4. asking for trans women to stop talking about genuine problems and grievances for the sake of “trans unity”#aka the “i dont want to think about your problems and i dont want you to make them my problem either” response#sounds like unity to me :)#5. “infighting” is basically a dogwhistle at this point; it deliberately muddies the waters. it makes it harder to talk about like#yknow. the actual infighting?#like i saw a reasonably popular artist get mistreated by some transmed prick earlier.#but its only “infighting” when women do it. otherwise everyones all “oh i cant believe theyd say something like this to you"#i can. ive been mistreated by scumlord transmeds from day one and the majority of them were guys#fucking hate that it happened to you of course but yeah no shit a lot of guys are assholes.#6. just call me a fucking slur if youre going to. it makes it easier for the both of us wrt determining tone#bonus: (less serious but still funny to point out) the way usamericans refer to anyone non-american and non-asian as “european”#we have countries actually. its not just some writhing coalescing amalgam of 'states'. YOURE the odd one out lol#again its not serious#its just like. im welsh. and welsh roma at that.#im not european in the same way that like a dutch or a german person is#half of europe hate my people for existing and then usamericans have the fuckin gall to call me a “privileged white european”#half you americans dont know shit about us or the ways in which we're mistreated#half you late teens he/him fags are using words that come from my fucking language#“its polari” where dyou think polari came from huh. dyou think it was just made up as a fun little code language?#queer ppl started to use it because it was already in use by other criminalized folks!! us!!#and for the record we're still effectively criminalized in the UK! theres a fucking mountain of legislature that targets us#ok yeah this is too ranty im turning off rbs on this bitch#usamericans are just on thin fucking ice at this point
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Finding out that my former friend who wrote clean regency is a Republican was somehow more shocking than finding out that another author who writes dark mafia romance based off of children's movies is a republican
I mean like, to be fair, dark mafia girl also runs a publishing house that's a literal pyramid scheme and writes the worst sex scenes I've ever seen in my life but like
The other one I was literally on my knees like no baby girl, please... What would Lord farthing say? We were supposed to talk about Victorian children plucking rabbits together baby, not talk about how you think we should throw the children of immigrants out of the country.
She was like "we used to mail children...maybe we could do that now" LIKE GREAT HISTORICAL FACT BUT WHAT THE FUCK
#funfact my mother is pretty convinced she couldnt pass the american citizenship test now compared to when she did it#and they reset her whole immogration timeline at every single tragedy#death divorce disease theyre like great news you get to start over#“if you so much as dream of leaving this country before you're tested and sworn in we will put your ass at the back of the line”#people in my family died and my mother was here like 🧍♀️#AND NOW SHES LIKE 'ITS ACTUALLY... NOT A GREAT CITIZENSHIP TO HAVE'#LIKE MUM AHHHHH#SHE RUSHED TO GET IT DONE AFTER 9/11 BECAUSE SHE WAS LIKE THEYRE GOING TO MAKE THIS TEST HARDER#and she was right#but also americans love white english people so they probably would have been like she did the whole test wrong but look at her#her citizenship classes are the moment my#mum realized america was not less racist than the uk
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Like, once you start doing breeding projects with sentient beings in yer story? That's fucking eugenics. If yer not portraying that as a fucked up thing in yer story you need to do some fucking soulsearching as to why you think eugenics stories are cool.
Like weredogs are already a thing in folklore. They arent any less terrifying or murdery than werewolves, b/c werewolves arent fucking murdery b/c they turn into wolf monsters. Werewolves are murdery b/c they're human, they have human minds, and they're fucking assholes. That's why they kill people, b/c they're dicks. Having fangs and claws just makes killing people easier and the fur gives them anonymity so they feel like they can get away with murder.
If you want to make a story about nice werewolves you could literally just make the werewolves in yer story not be dicks. Making a story about 'breeding niceness/dog traits into werewolves to make them nicer' is creepy as shit eugenics bullshit.
#nix meows#monsters#werewolves#weredogs#writing#eugenics#a lot of yall are way to ok with eugenics#and i say this as someone who lives in a country that has an ongoing history of sterilizing my people#and stealing our children#and awareness of the groups of white supremacists out there who actively are doing shit like trying to 'bleach' Africa#by overflooding the sperm donor market with their seed and sperm donor websites making it harder for black and brown people#to get sperm from someone of their own race#b/c of eugenics bullshit
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i want kids :(
#i’m so happy for my friends that are soon to be parents but it’s also so sad that it’s going to ve infinitely harder for me n my gf#especially since we’re from easter europe where it’s also illegal so there’s that#i want to get married n have kids n live our cozy happy life together :(#n these are such normal basic ass wishes but ofc we’re gay so it’s nearly impossible#n moving out of the country isn’t the easiest#but also i like it here… i don’t want to move out#at least not now#07
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whyy are concerts so expensive and not close to me ಠ╭╮ಠ
#i talk#fuckn..montreux jazz festival with the best lineup but theres only two bands per concert and each costs over 100#i could get there easily by train but the hotels are all booked#man if they had day passes to see several bands..air/soft cell/duran duran/kraftwerk/smashing pumpkins all on different dates..#absolutely not spending 500 for that excluding train and hotel#plus air is playing an openair festival next to where i work and they start 30mins after my shift on sunday#so i think ill just stand outside and listen lmao probably cant see inside though#alsoo the chameleons are doing a tour and its probably my only chance to see them and theyre like my fave rn#closest theyre doing is munich but like i have a direct train that takes 3.5 hours#i rly wanna do it but ill also need a place to stay overnight and idk how much i can trust se deutsche bahn or flixbus#and also its like 2 days before oktoberfest starts. im really hoping to avoid that esp munich#frankfurt might also be an option hmmm#i was thinking about literally going on a short trip to brighton to see them in august but idk if thats too much#would be more expensive too and id have to take a plane#ahh this is hard and i make it much harder by overthinking everything#ive never been to a concert in another country no idea how different/same it is
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life going so nothingly my biggest dream right now is to rewatch a movie i like. you cannot fathom how much i want to be able to do that. alas!
#even if i somehow mustered up the time and strength to put one on i still would just go on my phone during it#which would literally make me feel worse of course#does not help that in also 2 episodes behind on fire country and the winter finale in tomorrow. so i’m about to be 3 episodes behind#and it’s even harder to watch that than it is to watch a movie#because now i know i have to deal with the supernatural guy and his unnaturally deep voice in my show#and i don’t want that. i want gabriela to be treated with respect as a character but i always knew that was a pipe dream#so i dialed it back to at least wanting bode to be interesting without jake being given the worst storylines known to man#but apparently i can’t even get that anymore#cara JUST died and you want me to believe he’d hook up with his ex who is also his best friend’s situationship#do we respect my man jake at all. real question
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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lil hiatus away
#trump winning hit hard#harder than I thought because I didn’t think he’d win#we all met up the next day and had depression strolls#lots of vents and talks and anger#window shopped and actually shopped#looked at expensive guitars and little hamsters find fun in every place we go#we all made food with/for my niece and talked at my table for hours#played among us like old times till 1 am#got emotionally rejuvenated by the ocean#had plans with a friend that fell through so another time maybe or not idc anymore hahah she’s persistent though#I’m kinda over everything!#this 4:30 sunset always gets me bad for a while#on top of heavy world changes too like do that shit in summer#my dads friend Chris is visiting and that always makes me happy#I heard them cracking up watching South Park in his room last night was the cutest shit#reminded me of old times I miss living in Boston that whole era#wish we could have a redo#or even when he lived here with us after#maybe he'll move back this way someday#or go up that way since won’t ever be able to afford a house where I wanna live#or get out of the country all together#hiatus away was nice especially from Instagram and fb they're horrible places right now#unfollowing and unfriending everyone rn idc who u are#and honestly idky I still even have tumblr now I ask myself that a lot#more and more lately#have a good day#and take care of yourselves
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#im procrastinating on studying and i feel so awful#everyone already expects me to get into the hardest university in the country#and they make it so much harder than it already is and its so pressuring#and none of my friends feel that same pressure because theyre studying hoping to get in because everyone does#but theyre not studying because everyone already just expects them and tells them that theyll definitely get in#and yesterday my dad even told me hes sure ill get in#i know itll help them retire earlier. and its going to mean a lot if i go to a college with free tuition especially since my brothers are#not the type to pass there. they arent studious and my parents have to force them to care about their grades#and i know it should be reassuring that people think i can do it but as each day passes i fewl my self efficacy deteriorating#and i just feel so pressured and so scared that im losing the motivation to study at all#and i hate it so much because i should just study but its eating at me having to live up to what everyone thinks i can do#and i feel so alone doing it#and to add to that im not even sure if this is what i want anymore#and its all so confusing and i cant set my mind straight on anything and i dont know what to do
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it really is kind of scary getting older and being like. oh. this is my life. this is what my life will continue to be. there is no more “when I grow up.”
#I know I know your life is what you make it and it’s never too late#but I mean. it is too late for certain things#I’ll never be a 20 something living in a different city#or country!!!#I’m starting to realize I’ll probably die here never having left#which is. oof.#I’m not giving up on ever getting out#but it just seems like it’s only getting harder#also some of the dreams I’ve always had for myself are very stupid and unrealistic#and I’m getting to the age where it’s like yeah that probably won’t ever happen#especially since you’ve never done anything to work towards it#I am just sitting here waiting for my life to change#but I don’t know what else to do bc I fear the biggest thing holding me back is just being myself lol#I’m still years away from my degree too#and that’s ofc a huge barrier for anything#and then being in my mid 30s with no experience entering the job market. cool!!!#I don’t want to stay in the service industry forever. I can’t. physically!#this type of work also gets harder and harder as I get older
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Finnish snacks good for my soul
#I love pulla so much you have no idea#it's sweet but not too sweet#the cream on this one is a bit sour as well which makes it even better#my stuff#finland#I've been genuinely feeling more at home for the past 2 months here in Finland than for all my life in Italy lol#I thought getting used to a country so different from the one I come from would be way harder#but it came pretty natural#all my relatives were like “oh you wont like it” but I'm here thriving THRIVING I say#I knew I'd like it here and I WAS SO RIGHT
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