#it’s a very fucked up situation they’ve got going on there tbh

[twinklingchode]

this is really something harvey reginald specter would do prove me wrong

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 1

oooh and now we have another countdown - this time its five days until the tomb opens! which is both concerning and mildly confusing given Harrow already opened the tomb

and a new image for the chapter header - not an animal skull or a skull at all but a cave with chains over it! presumably representing the tomb itself which in of itself is very intriguing

‘Late in the year of nobody she really thought of in particular’ hah, take that John

ok so Nona’s dreaming of a painted face … the first two immediate options that come to mind are Gideon and Harrow, clearly. in a body of water, could it be the River? or possibly, if the ‘her’ in ‘her hands’ she’s talking about is Alecto, it could be the saltwater of the tomb?

so far the first thing thats struck me is just how sweet the relationship between Nona and Camilla is 

‘A beaker of violently orange liquid, radioactively orange even in the dark’ what the fuck kinda eggs are these guys eating

and Nona has black hair! very long black hair which grows fast, which very much suggests that this is Harrow’s body, given what Ianthe did to her hair last book. this also pretty much rules out another initial theory i had for Nona, which was that she might have been in Gideon’s body, since we know that was picked up by the BoE last book

and another point for being some kind of amnesiac Harrow - Nona appears to have a lot of issues with eating 

Okay … so Camilla and Pal are sharing Camilla’s body, kind of a reverse of Gideon-in-Harrow last book, but not quite given that they somehow seem to have swapped each-others eye colours. it’s not just that they’re sharing a body, since Gid & Harrow explicitly retained their own eye colours, but some kind of other situation

hmm Nona seems relatively upbeat, but there’s a lot of conversation about militia links and black market goods, life wherever they are doesn’t seem all that great tbh

and they’re hiding something about the overall situation they’re in from Nona, and its very unclear whose side they’re on. given the end of the last book, the fact they seem to be in some kind of hiding on a non-House planet, I doubt they’re fully with the Emperor/Nine Houses. but then they definitely don’t seem to be onboard with, and have a very uneasy relationship with, the Blood of Eden, especially given the whole kinda-Lyctorhood situation they’ve got going on. 

and there’s an awful lot going on here. they keep mentioning a search and recovery mission, which begs the question for what exactly are they looking for. it can’t be the Tomb or anything because its pretty well known where THAT is. and Pal and Pyrrha have very different philosophies on whatever’s happening - Pal seems to want to help some kind of situation with people trapped in barracks, while Pyrrha thinks its not worth it. and on top of all of that BoE is not quite one cohesive group as it was described in HtN, there’s some kind of inter-organisational conflict going on. 

‘I know how to farm … I can teach you and Nona’ rip G1deon who never got to live his Stardew Valley dreams. Locked Tomb: the Farming Simulator when?

also it is interesting that even G1deon, seemingly the most loyal of the Emperor’s lyctors (or at least the only one seemingly not actively trying to kill him) still had a backup plan and wanted to run away to just lead some kind of a normal life

and they need masks of some kind? and Nona’s immune - more points for her being Harrow, or at least in Harrow’s body, Nona’s body clearly works like a Lyctors 

oh shit there’s a mysterious blue light in the sky that’s ‘periscoping’? It could be some kind of surveillance but i think its far more likely to be the seventh Resurrection Beast, which is there for … some reason? Lotta questions raised just in this one chapter

[louisisalarrie]

heyy, what relationship do you think louis has with F? I know you don't believe that's his son, but personally I have many doubts on the whole thing and one of the main reasons is that i think he genuinely cares about him. I mean the way he talks about him and everything, and i dont mean interviews only, for example that time after a show when he met a little fan and he asked them how old they were and then he said something like "my little F is 7", he just said that bc he wanted to, so why would he do if he doesn't care about him? and I'm not saying that proofs that's his son, I'm just asking bc most larries that I see they claim that lou doesn't give a fuck about F, but I think he really does

hello lovely! if you are having doubts and want more info, check out this tags page that has a heap of bbg content from over the years that may help you make your mind up. and thank you for being respectful of what I believe even if you’re not sure 100% where you stand on it. so thank you and great to have you here!

I’ve touched on something similar to this before, in which, we know how much louis loves kids. him and his little sisters and bro, young fans, his sisters’ kids etc. like every situation we see him with a kid in, he lights up. same with Harry

anyway, I think bbg got out of hand and when it became far more long term and he had to be pictured with this child, he probably felt very frustrated and shitty that it got this far. He probably feels bad for the kid that his family got him involved in this, and now this kid won’t ever have a normal life. and so, he’s hung out with this kid every once in a while, watching him grow up, and I can imagine he probably does care about him a lot. He’s a very caring guy in general, and so under the circumstances, he’s trying to make this work the best he can.

He’s not gonna sit there and be like “gross kid get tf away from me” lol, but he’s balancing this distance of not being too close to become such a permanent fixture in his life, and not hurting this kid’s feelings. Again, it’s hard to know what F believes as he’s only like 8 or so, so I’m not sure how much they’ve divulged with him, but I’m pretty positive he’d know louis isn’t his dad by now tbh. but louis probably just feels shitty and wants to at least have the kid spend time having fun with him, rather than miserable for a life he didn’t choose.

Re your comment about him talking about F to the fans… in my opinion, bbg is now at the level of pretty much a strictly fan service stunt, and has been for a while now. we get the little gap filler articles from bored journalists like “all about louis tomlinson’s son!” etc. every once in a while, but otherwise it’s not really gaining him much publicity these days. he’ll mention him when he does those random Twitter chats, interviews here and there, and we get our annual Christmas photo (nothing for Father’s Day this year tho cough cough), but the GP don’t… care about it. But we as fans who follow his sisters’ accounts and are more invested, bbg is brought up for us. So because it’s not shoved in our faces from the press all the time, it’s easier to keep going with it by doing a mention about it here and there.

they still have this stunt as a bombshell to drop when necessary, though. Louis could gain some mad publicity with the end of it and still come out looking good, so it’s kinda just there until they find a suitable time for it to drop, which I have a feeling will be soon since it is so fan focused now.

lining up the end of stunts with releases/other big press news etc. is also quite tricky. this one has to be delicate because it’s got a kid involved, too.

[neatfrog]

my oc Boldizsár for @alexfeelyx, since you said you wanted to see him lol

(ignore the shitty minigun I didn’t feel like adding a bunch of detail for a sketch)

character info below the cut for anyone else interested

Boldizsár is a character I created roughly 8-9 years ago when Fallout 4 came out. He has a twin sister named Petra, and in my Fallout canon they are members of the Gunners. (*realized I forgot to add his blood type tattoo here, but he’s B+ and Petra is A-. I have no clue if twins can have different blood types like that so correct me if I’m mistaken, I genuinely tried to google but couldn’t get a solid answer)

He likes big guns and explosions, and sometimes talks himself up, but spending more than 2 minutes with him will reveal he’s an absolute cinnamon roll. Less prickly and more compassionate than his sister, he has a particular soft spot for animals and children.

They both joined the Gunners at the age of 15 - Boldizsár because they “looked badass”, and Petra followed only because she couldn’t convince her brother not to go.

(at the time of Fallout 4’s events, they’re both 19, but now that I’m almost a decade older than I was when I made these characters I might bump it up some more)

He and his sister are both of Hungarian descent, and their last name is Zsoldos (which I chose purposely because it means ‘mercenary’ and I thought it was funny as fuck. still think it’s funny tbh)

Traits/Behaviors

brave (sometimes too much for his own good)

outraged by injustice or mistreatment of innocent people

sometimes serious situations make him uncomfortable so he often compensates with humor to try to lighten the mood

struggles with guilt over past actions that harmed people

when young, he always listened to whatever Petra told him, and obeyed whenever she instructed him not to do something, but as they got older he became frustrated with her controlling behavior and started to make more of his own choices (which causes a good deal of the conflict in their relationship)

likewise, he has trouble telling her how he truly feels sometimes because he doesn’t want to hurt her (and also doesn’t want to deal with her being angry)

he has trauma from childhood events, but doesn’t realize it (and is somewhat ignorant of how bad it actually was, since Petra shielded him from most of it)

can be stubborn when he feels really strongly about something

very curious about the world and wants to explore (their upbringing was very closed-off and sheltered, they were basically raised in a cult)

is good at logic games and puzzles, and can strategize well

throughout time spent in the Gunners he became familiar with the inner workings/mechanics of explosives and large weapons (idk if it’s possible to dismantle a minigun and put it back together, but if so he could definitely do that)

the thing that would make him happiest is having a family of his own

he’s an aquarius (I gave him and Petra my mom’s birthday so it would be easy to remember lol)

can be pretty oblivious to certain things when they aren’t said/shown explicitly (yes he’s autistic why do you ask)

he’s naive about certain things in the world due to his sheltered upbringing, but is open-minded about new information and experiences

does his best to see the good in people even when they’ve done bad things (but also doesn’t tolerate purposely cruel people)

he wears that Coat all the time (he found it on a skeleton)

(during fallout 4 timeline) becomes deaf in one ear due to a bad injury (this is my reminder to give him some headphones bc the weapons he uses are loud af)

phobia of radscorpions (can we blame him? fuck those things)

-

There’s way more I could say but I think this is enough to sum up his character for now. I guess I should make a post for Petra too 🤔

[soullessjack]

tbh a lot of the ways jack’s infantilization pops up is in discourse around him and dean and their relationship , especially after Mary’s death in game night. because everyone’s relentlessly clinging to the idea of jack as a pwecious widdle baby who can do no wrong, there’s this unanimous refusal to give him any accountability whatsoever for anything he does, particularly with killing mary and hurting dean so severely in the process. instead, everyone decides that dean is the bad guy for reacting to his childhood trauma unfolding again after he’d finally healed from it and got her back.

I mean spn fans fundamentally do not see jack as an autonomous person so it only makes sense that nobody can put him on equal footing in any of his relationship dynamics, but to vilify dean for having a very justified reaction to his fucking mother dying again is just an insane thing to do in the name of woobifying jack. yes, it was entirely accidental and yes, Jack is equally as traumatized by it, but that does not take away from the fact that what he did directly emotionally damaged sam and dean.

not only would a lot of fandom discourse benefit from realizing these are literally not normal functional healthy people dealing with normal situations that give them the liberty to approach said situations in normal functional healthy ways (dean promising to kill jack if he needed to in 13x02, & shooting jack in 13x23), but it would also benefit from realizing that jack is a grown ass invulnerable demigod with the capacity to cause a lot of major damage if he spins out of control, and he bears full responsibility for that damage (which is why it is actually so fucking stupid whej I see ppl say that jack becoming a baby would magically fix their conflict. no it fucking wouldn’t, you just don’t see jack as a full person with direct responsibility in said conflict and you don’t care about their relationship actually being healed mutually).

on the other hand, dean was reacting to a presumed threat almost immediately after losing two of his loved ones in a situation directly related to jack. he has every right to be wary and cautious, and given that he is actively traumatized and already an emotionally dysfunctional person from being abused by John, he isn’t exactly going to outlet his trauma healthily or behave in a way that miraculously breaks the cycle John created. I’m getting tired but lastly, ppl should also realize that jack is a grown ass adult with the emotional maturity to understand and forgive dean for the way he acted before—even while Dean actively struggles to forgive himself and tries to be as good a father as possible to make up for it.

Because again, their situation is not normal and they have no way of treating it or reacting to it normally. as far as jack knows and has seen of his powers, he is dangerous and is able to reach a point where he’s too much of a threat to keep alive. the tragedy of it is that he doesn’t want to be a threat, he doesn’t want people to fear or hate him and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. that’s why he says “you were right all along” in moriah. between dean and jack, a huge facet in their relationship is the question of whether or not dean is right, and by the time they’ve reached a point of mutually seeing each other as father and son that question is up in the air as something neither of them want. jack never wanted dean to be right, and now that dean knows jack as a person and as his own kid he especially doesn’t want to be right anymore.

just. Please start thinking of Jack as an actual autonomous person. That is literally all it comes down to. It will open up your world

[pinchinschlimbah]

Dick Turpin episode 4 minor spoilers

I swear to god if there ends up being a shoehorned romance between Nell and Dick I’m gonna be so mad, pleaseeee Do Not!!! The bit in episode 3 where Nell sheepishly admits that Dick is kind and charming already had me a little bit nervous but the more blatant references on the new episode to her having a thing for him have got me skressed

First of all Nell has big dyke energy and the references to her having a crush on Dick feel really out of place with the rest of her vibe please give her a girlfriend instead and tbh Dick hasn’t come off as particularly straight so far either [stick a pin in that though] Second, having a sincere romantic narrative plotline, especially a hetero one, feels really out of line with Noel’s previous work that he’s had control over, that’s been something he’s seemed to have actively avoided previously (outside of whatever the fuck he and Julian were doing but that’s a whole other topic lmao) so it would feel weird to bring it in now?? And as a soft third, Ellie is 16 years younger than Noel which isn’t the woooorst age gap in the world (and tbh Dick feels like a younger character than Noel’s actual age) but still feels a little ehh

Acceptable solutions include

-[unsticks pin] Nell and Dick are a thing but it’s in explicitly in an extremely queer way since they’ve both got some gender stuff going on already and also very overall queer vibes

-some sort of Booshesque wacky love triangle chaos countering Nell’s feelings with whatever seems to be brewing with Moose’s feelings towards Dick or maybe Dick just isn’t interested at all (flashback to the very first scene of the series where he seems only moderately interested in kissing the woman who’s throwing herself at him)

-pull a Riverdale and put the whole gang in a polycule (ideal situation honestly)

Anyway thank you for coming to my Ted talk, curious to hear y’all’s thoughts on this as well andddd anxiously awaiting the upcoming episodes

[first-ex-wife]

notes on the end of Ted Lasso cause I'm really confused and torn and a bit underwhelmed and I want to make people hear my thoughts

Ted’s plotline has felt underdeveloped. despite being the main, titular character I just feel like it’s been kinda,,, not a priority and it’s upsetting. like I still feel like Ted as a character needs MORE! and I do and very much DON’T like his ending

Nate’s storyline has been one of the most decent tbh he’s maybe the only one I’ve liked in hindsight

Trent is also wonderful in that sort of way where I really have no notes like he's just great

I love Keeley choosing neither man, but I hate how these men oscillate between seeming developed and better and then reverting back to sucking. and good on the narrative for calling it out to some extent but it’s boring and exhausting. (and I understand that, yes, as they discussed, no one can be Perfect. but I really think like,, Jamie didn’t need to still be hung up on her they didn’t need to fight over her, something needed to be different cause there's not being perfect and then there's outright, why the fuck!!!! especially when we DID the "Jamie wants Keeley but then realizes he should move on" plotline LAST SEASON! like there is not being perfect and then there is, you have not grown one bit somehow, and Jamie should be Allowed to realize there's other women and he had his chance with Keeley and it's okay that they're not for each other! let him learn!!!)

cause also then the leaked nudes (another thing I have a bit of an issue with) just become,,, fodder for him being into her again and it's like, that's SO not the fucking time jesus fucking christ! and it undermines the sincerity of his apology if you read it as him starting to wonder if they could have another chance, GOD!

also the Shandy plotline was another example of something that happened a lot this season (also with Jack but it did develop how Keeley’s business is presented as taken on by Rebecca and her sexuality as well as a commentary about class so I’ll excuse all that) where a character is introduced, around for a bit, and then fucks off. which fine, can happen, plots don’t ALWAYS have to go somewhere huge they can pay off in entertainment or making a statement. but there was a lot of other shit we could’ve spent time on!

I hate how we took a plotline Ted NEEDS (being healthy with the fact that Michelle is moving on a coping) but combined it with Michelle dating the worst, most unprofessional cunt in the world (not nearly enough of a callout for him having been her personal therapist and then later a couples’ therapist (red flag on its fucking own) and then DATING A FORMER PATIENT AFTER WATCHING HER MARRIAGE END!) so that, actually, I think Ted WAS fucking right to be upset and I don’t think this SHOULD be something to just be chill with and fuck you, doctor!

I feel like there have been some good attempts to talk about real topics but that they’ve come off heavy-handed? the nudes being leaked is a great topic but the locker room bit felt a bit Much. and the way it just careened into, Isaac is upset with Colin for…. not taking enough time deleting the pictures so he takes his phone and I guess sees a dick (Colin you still could’ve been working on deleting that) and then takes it SO personally that he didn’t know… it all was So Much in a way I didn’t love

also it’s ironic we try to call out social issues but then play off things like SEVERE malpractice, abusive relationships, Keeley apparently having nudes I think spread by a teacher, etc. often for laughs

I really don’t get the Zava plotline in hindsight cause it’s another situation where like… we bring a guy in to make things better. he’s winning games but he’s got an ick vibe I think only Jamie really picks up on. it’s not super discussed so it’s like,,, has no impact, whatever. he leaves. now we have to figure out a NEW way to get better. back to square one. you could cut him out and literally it leaves like no impact on the plot except for Van Damme name change like I get!!!! that not every plot has to have a huge impact!!!!!!! but Zava was pointless and kinda a dick and I just don’t think it contributed ANYTHING to bring him in! maybe to see that they didn’t need a fancy player to get better but I also don’t know that ANYONE on the team learned that lesson tbh. and maybe that’s me complaining about not being spoon-fed but I really feel like if the message was “they think they need him but they don’t” it wasn’t super There. and having him send self-indulgent t-shirts in the final episode is really like… yeah okay guy still sucks

Rupert fall from grace plotline pretty great

Rebecca does develop a bit and I like that. she seems to go from being upset she’s single and never had a child, she still wants to defeat Rupert, but she learns to let go of that and just focus on what matters. she stands up for the love of the game, she finds inner strength. but still I think a little something is missing. I don’t think just giving her a man and a child fixes that. I don’t know, a lot of this just feels like something’s off. I’m glad she’s happy, but her arc this season wasn’t much

I really enjoyed learning Beard’s backstory but aside from that his main storyline is being in an abusive relationship played for laughs so like…. ugh. and Beard telling Ted he doesn’t want to go but couldn’t let him down is SO FUCKING GOOD, but, again…. I hate Jane so fucking much!! I keep coming back to the texts she sent in that episode and god she’s reactionary and cruel and obsessive and just,? and the one time Higgins tries to point it out he’s ignored it’s annoying

Jamie’s development as a team player has been SO amazing but again… I wish that translated into letting go of Keeley. but I do love him a lot. but let him let GO!

I’m trying to be… objective in that. things don’t tie up perfectly always in real life. but I do just feel… like there’s a lot of character development that don’t quite get!!!! Ted & Rebecca both could do better! I like the idea of them just staying friends (but DO they, even? do they have a daily video chat did he give her the biscuit recipe is there ANYTHING?) and there’s SO many good individual moments & characters in the show but I just feel like there’s a lot halfbaked looking at things as a whole

ROY KENT NEW MANAGER AND THE FANS OWNING THE TEAM AND KEELEY’S WOMEN’S LEAGUE ALL VERY GOOD!!

It’s nice to see everyone happy and together but then it leaves me more confused why Ted has to separate himself. I get he’s got Henry & I’m glad he’s coaching his son. being apart from his son is a big problem for Ted and I like that the effort to be a better father is a priority. but I still feel like things are a bit hollow. it feels like the narrative says that being a more present dad will allow Ted to let go of every other issue but I still just feel like many things weren’t fully worked at. is he an alcoholic? it’s sometimes implied!!! is he open to love? who knows!!!! does he have friends or another day job or anything to give his life meaning when Henry’s with his mom? no clue!!!!!!! does Dr. Jacob choke and die? one can only hope!!!!!!!!!

overall I liked it fine but this entire season has felt Off and Nate’s storyline is the only one I can fully endorse. I just expected from something that was so clearly planned out in detail to have less meandering plotlines, more time for developing characters, clearer closure, and maybe,, ANY evidence that Ted has not cut himself off entirely from his family right when it was getting good! if anything, it almost seems like he’s NOT coping because he DID do that! and footage of him & Rebecca video chatting or him flying out for Beard’s stupid wedding or on special occasions could mitigate that but instead it feels like he really is supposed to have cutting himself out of his found family entirely to return to his ex-wife and son as like,,, his entire closure. and so I can't in good faith believe he IS doing better. I can't.

[neixins]

yona of the dawn ofc :3

help i typed up whole paragraphs and then my browser crashed and none of it got saved 😭 i won’t be stopped though!

My rating (1-10): if it ends the way i think (hope) it will 10/10 no notes perfect historical fantasy shoujo series <3 if it doesn’t i hope we all explode

My favourite character: predictable answer but yona really is THEE protagonist of all time. she’s such a vibrant character even before she begins her journey and seeing her grow throughout the series is just so !!!! she cares so much and is ready to do anything to protect everyone and she’s clever and kind of insane but also silly and i love her so much!! also honorable mention to my special little guy gija <3 i adore his relentless optimism and how No Rational Thoughts Only Emotions And Actions he is 99% of the time. also he’s just so relatable To Me when he’s in poor little guy mode. i adore the entire hhb though, and so so so many of the side characters. they’re all just so well-written, it’s impossible not to love them

My least favourite character: probably chagol, mostly bc i keep seeing theories about how he’s not really dead and blah blah blah (in the famous words of kesha) and i’m sick of it. he’s a good villain and while i believe kusanagi could pull off his resurrection well if she so chose, as a meinyan fan, i LIKE that her abuser died so unceremoniously. let him rot, i say! even if he does get resurrected he’ll always be Just Some Gross Loser Guy to me

The character I think I'd be friends with: gija :) we’d get along so well on account of The Neuroses and The Only Child-isms

The character I think I won't hit off with: keishuk doesn’t seem like someone who’d appreciate my whimsy tbh

My favourite episode/scene: (don’t say gijaeha love potion shenanigans don’t say gijaeha love potion shenanigans) trying to pick One Scene in a 40+ volume series pains me so i’m gonna cheat and pick five (in no particular order) :3 (1) this scene from ch 163. all the hakyona scenes are so fucking good but this one’s just so so so sweet and i think about it all the time + it encapsulates so many elements of their relationship that i love, mainly how deeply they care about each other and help each other grow (where’s the post about austenian romance as a mechanism for self-actualization…), but also how goofy hak acts when he wants to cheer yona up

(2) yona getting the south kai envoys to admit to the shit they’ve been doing in kohka and then going “okie dokie now let’s get this meeting started shall we :)” she’s an icon and a legend <3 (3) gija in ch 252. absolutely devastating chapter and i need my guys back posthaste but OHHHH!!!!!!! i have so many thoughts about gija and monstrousness but i’m just gonna link to this post lest i go on too many tangents again…. (4) the hot springs chapter of course OF COURSE what kind of gijaeha enthusiast would i be if i didn’t bring that chapter up. it’s one of the most crucial chapters for the development of their relationship and it so perfectly captures how different yet similar they are + getting to see so much of jaeha’s thoughts on page really helps contextualize a lot of his actions in general (also i find his tendency to overanalyze and act on his assumptions instead of just. talking to the guy who’s been nothing if not remarkably earnest from day one lest he accidentally makes the situation worse to be both very endearing and very funny). (5) the “he’s stronger than i am” moment in ch 168. actually that whole battle scene Fucks Severely on so many levels but that!!!! line!!!!!! it makes me so crazy like. jaeha’s not just trying to stall for time, he genuinely thinks gija’s stronger than him (“from good morning to good night” bonus chapter) but like. looking at it purely physically they Are equals. but gija doesn’t hold back like jaeha does (ch 75, ch 170) and also it’s clear from the hot springs chapter that jaeha admires gija for not letting himself get shackled by his past (even though he’s Literally Being Haunted). also the moment right before that, when jaeha fucking. obliterates the bow of the soldier who tries to shoot gija (he’s doing SUCH a good job pretending that they’re enemies btw) is soooOOUGHHH like jaeha doesn’t get angry often but he’s FURIOUS in that moment and it’s so delicious (i think it’s the “let’s deliver him as a gift to lord kuelbo” part specifically that gets to him bc like gija can dodge one (1) arrow just fine without help but he risked the whole plan—) (getting vaudeville hooked off the stage) wait i lied :) (6) the blue forest mini arc is soooo good and so dear to me i HAVE to mention it!! it really showcases how caring sinha is + there’s also the lore drops about ghosts and the hakyona/gijaeha parallels, both of which make me wanna explode <3

Whose clothing style I like best: jaeha. the slutty little crop top wins by a landslide <3 i wish we got to see it more often (wistful sigh)

Times I watched it (and if I would again): once all the way through but i’ve reread parts of it many times for fic research and while theorizing. i definitely wanna reread it front to back though, all the parallels and foreshadowing make it so perfect for rereads

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

4 + 9 + 13 + … 16- + 25 + 35 + 45 + 47 + 54 + 57 with Oli! (ie have fun and do whatever you want ^^)

pho that’s so many- (/pos)

ok. here we go. god damn

4: What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

hmmm i think he tried to get into photography at one point but it didn’t work out

9: Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

i think it really depends on the person both ways; he’s probably godawful at giving comfort tbh 😭 but for receiving it really depends, sometimes he really prefers gentle love but sometimes it takes lizzie telling him he’s a dumbass to really get it through his head yknow

13: When do they fake a smile? How often?

all the fucking time. he’s got it in his head that he needs to be the silly goofy one all the time so if he’s not feeling it he Will Just Fake It unless it’s really bad in which case he just goes MIA until he feels like a person again

16: What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

stares at you I Know What You Are. anyways plural oli sweep he argues with himself and himself and himself and himself and

25: What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

psychology, music theory, how to play any instrument imaginable

35: What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

he shoplifts a lot cause he’s terminally broke, also he’s an enabler 100%

45: What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

coconut and this

47: Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

this one is evil and also reversed. i think there’s a lot of people from old servers he’s been on that didn’t like carry over into the next ones yk that he sort of put out of mind yk yk

54: What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

freeze then flight, fight if absolutely necessary. his biggest instinct is Get Out Alive unless he’s with someone else who’s in danger, he’d try to help i think but if he’s really panicking his ass is Gone

57: What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often?

everything. bros dumb as hell. not to mention that cubito is chalk full of adhd he forgets everything constantly

(ask game!!! send me asks boy)

[bisluthq]

I get how the “secret relationship” stuff in reputation is going to appeal to queer people, because straight people outside of the spotlight don’t have to hide their relationships (unless you’re in a Romeo and Juliet situation I guess). But we know Taylor was dating Joe and we know exactly why she was hiding.

I get relating to a lot of the themes of the album as a queer person, but I don’t get why people need that interpretation to be the “correct” or “real” one. You can relate to the album even if Taylor wrote it about a man, your interpretation can be different from Taylor’s

This is exactly what I said dude. There is no such thing as a correct interpretation of art. There is what Taylor was thinking about (usually autobiographical although she does fantasize and make stuff up because again, she is not a dick powered jukebox). There is what you think about. Things we think about when listening to her songs can change over time (as I said, this applies to what Taylor thinks about them too because it is HER CREATIVE WORK). I guarantee you End Game is giving her a little thrill now that she’s with a professional athlete but she didn’t write it with him in mind.

An interpretation is just that - one way to read something. It’s not limited to sexuality btw like people read things differently all the time. I’ve shared this before: CLM is like the most romantic song I’ve ever heard FOR ME. My current situation actually fits that really perfectly. I played it for my bf a few months into us dating expecting him to love it and he found it depressing and tragic. He didn’t get the romance at all. He didn’t hate the song as like… a song lol like he thinks it’s pretty but he fails to see how it’s romantic. That same day - we were sharing like what our most romantic song is about the other person because it was early days and we were vom cute ew 🤢 - he chose Patience by Guns ‘N Roses and I had the same reaction. Like, cool song ngl but I don’t get how it’s like a grand statement on romance. Idk what the fuck Axl was thinking when he wrote Patience (I suspect very little because he would’ve been high as shit but ok) but for my bf that’s like the grandest statement on love and fits us and for me it’s a little confusing and tbh it sounds like they’ve broken up when he’s singing it??? And that’s his same point on CLM lol. So like yeah people interpret things differently guys. This is what I’ve been trying to say.

Saying “I pick up queer themes in Dress” is fair play. Saying “Taylor didn’t write Dress about Joe, she’s a big fat liar who lies, it’s about supermodel Karlie Kloss- no wait it’s about supermodel Lily Donaldson because there’s a picture of them at a party in a bathtub with like 50 other people and she mentions that public moment in her song and ergo this song is about Lily/Karlie/the homophobic violinist from her first band and who cares what it means to me because I never go outside but Taylor is gay and this is the proof” is just unhinged.

Also there are a host of other reasons to want to be secretive in mf relationships other than Romeo and Juliet or super famous vibes just btw. Hookups within friend groups or intermixed friend groups often have to be kept on the DL. Hookups at work - unless it’s proven to be serious - should be kept on the DL. Dating while in the midst of a divorce or serious longterm breakup has to be kept on the DL. If you’ve got kids, dating has to be kept on the DL unless you’re a messy bitch who lives for drama or until you know it’s serious. Reconnecting with exes has to mostly be kept on the DL until you know it’s serious. I can go on. Being gay or being in a truly forbidden situation aren’t the only two valid reasons to want to know places you won’t be found.

Any of those situations could have you relating to Dress. The best friend stuff makes it sound a bit gay to me (someone who has hooked up with a number of her female friends) but that’s not the only interpretation nor is it factual. It’s also not invalid.

My last thought is like… as fun as muse analysis is, I like Taylor Swift because she articulates thoughts about MY LIFE better than I can. I don’t imagine Taylor and Joe or Taylor and Jake or Taylor and Harry or Hiddleswift or whatever when I listen to my favorite songs. I imagine my own life. That’s what I love about her. It feels like she’s articulating feelings and experiences I’ve felt better than I ever could yk?

[decastde]

I totally agree with your buck/eddie post, I don’t think shipping them is wrong or anything but acting like they must be canon or it’s not a good story is just not a good way to look at it. The writers as well as Oliver and LFJ are telling a wonderful story about two queer men in their 30s/40s and we should celebrate that.

I also think destiel is a very different situation to buddie, for me dean was bi-coded from even season 1, but it became more overt (not explicit but overt) as the seasons went on, kind of similar to how buck was bicoded, but dean’s felt more intentional from the writers since it was over a long period of time and used a lot of queer references that would fly under the radar of a lot of audiences. I think buck’s bicoding was probably accidental at first but by s4 they’d decided to play into it, and obviously now it’s canon (which is great! love that!).

Destiel seemed like the accidental bit to me (at first), misha was initially a guest star but he was playing a great character and had a lot of chemistry with jensen (however you choose to interpret that chemistry). Overtime the writers started to play into that on purpose and I think the actors did as well, misha has confirmed this from his side but tbh I don’t think we’ll ever get a straight (ha) answer from jensen about it. Which is fine tbh, I’m okay with that, I don’t need actors to confirm anything really.

Anyways, I never really got that vibe from buddie? Like Oliver was playing into bi buck slightly, but I don’t think it was ever buddie specifically and I don’t think Ryan, as supportive as he is, ever played Eddie as anything but interested in women (or mostly shannon). I respect people’s head canons but I don’t think buddie is a given for the writers so if people could stop saying “when buddie goes canon”, because tbh i think they’re setting themselves up for disappointment a bit.

Holy fuck, that got long, sorry 😅. I kind of rambled a bit there but I hope you got my point. I would say don’t feel like you have to delete your buddie fics, I have plenty up of fandoms i’m not even interested in anymore (though obviously orphan/delete them if that’s what you feel is best). Anyways have a great day!

Yes, absolutely get your point.

I agree Dean is for sure bi-coded. My jaded heart will forever lament SPN couldn’t hang around just a few more years (despite how weird it had got) so that they could have had the kind of response Oliver and 911 got with the bi storyline. 😭😭 Ah well.

Yeahhh, back when Tommy appeared I feel like, sorry for making a sweeping generalisation, adults understood that was it for Buck and Eddie. If it were not a procedural general audience kind of show then 2 characters having bi/queer awakenings would be awesome. Sexuality is a spectrum etc, later in life realisations happen and all that jazz. But, as you say, they’ve never been intentionally played to be in love with eachother. Again, sure, storylines can change, but if realising you liked men and didn’t consider the man you are closest to then……it’s a shame perhaps, but no.

I don’t know. It’s got slightly better now since the initial finale aftermath and there is no problem with shipping anything you want. Go for it! It’s the threats and entitlement, the rudeness and mean spirited accusations that people who like Buck and Tommy are gross and blah blah blah. It just feels like a real ‘old man shakes fist at cloud’ moment as they (again, sweeping generalisation) don’t realise how amazing the Buck and Tommy atoryline is.

I could be a total bitch and rant on and on about how in general there are some hideous takes and just not understanding media (and the real world) but I know that in ten years most of them will look back on their behaviour and cringe themselves inside out.

I don’t know if I will delete the Buck/Eddie stuff I wrote, it already annoyed me that it went against canon anyway but that’s just me. Lesson (not) learned to not write during the hiatus. I looked into orphaning them but I feel bad.

Gah I went on and on. Sorry. Have a great day yourself! ☺️

[three-headed-monster]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (five, tk take separately, luv uuu)

bestie you always come through thank you :))))

i hope that you're okay with me choosing from a variety of ships and fics cause that's what i'm doing lmao

long post incoming so inserting a cut here

and i can see us lost in the memory: muskoka lake cabin scene

really want to highlight this one cause i sort of feel like no one realizes that i ever wrote for them? probably because it was 3 years ago at this point and also has a lot of key characteristics of my early writing opposed to my writing now. but this is probably one of my favourite actual confession scenes that i've written. i knew the whole time when writing this fic that i wanted it to end in muskoka, with them together on the pier talking to one another. i think at the time, i was just so in love with the idea of muskoka being this place that connected both of them when they were pushed so so far apart. it felt right.

this is also where i kinda started like obsessing over eyes lmao. you can see that a common thread throughout my fics is the idea of eyes "crashing" into one another and eye contact being a sort of simultaneously clarifying and intense moment for the characters. i think that's personally because i hate making eye contact with literally anybody and find that you're most vulnerable when you're looking somebody right in the eye. The bond snaps into place as soon as Connor’s clear blue Muskoka eyes make contact with his is one of the best lines in the fic in my own personal expert opinion lmao because it signifies the beginning of the two characters finally starting to open up with each other, alongside a physical indicator that they do.

another one of my favourite lines is: They’ve both changed.  They’re both older, wiser.  They both look a little different.   But this place?  And these feelings?  Hasn’t changed one bit.

i love the idea of places holding weight and meaning. i just think that everything has memory in it you know? that'll never change, no matter how hard you try, and when you revisit those places, you're brought back to how you felt the first time you experienced them. you'll never forget them, but it's also always compounded with the new way you look at the world. and when you can connect those two things together and still end up feeling the same way, it's beautiful.

anyways this is basically me just plugging myself like please go read this fic cause i think this confession scene is beautiful !!!!!! i wrote it very well me thinks!!! it's probably the best part of the entire fic and definitely taught me the importance of a good closing scene.

2. i don't need your closure (i have my own)

more like a ficlet than an actual fic, but actually so necessary to how i write going forward tbh (i mean all of these fics are really important parts of my writing journey but like there are specific things that i got from all the fics you know)

this one is SUPER introspective on bo and it really lends to my writing style. i like when characters soul-search a little bit. i tend to lean that way more when putting down fic, thinking about what is logical for a character to feel during certain situations as opposed to the action actually happening around them. when characters really look deeply at themselves and realize why they're doing certain things, or why they're feeling certain ways, that's what is most exciting for me to write as an author. you'll notice that i often overuse this in fics though, with less dialogue/action focused scenes and more like "oh my god what the fuck is happening in my head rn" scenes.

i also am a sucker for best friend relationships. almost every ship i read and/or write for must have a deep friendship i think, before i can even consider seeking out content for them. this isn't to say i don't enjoy a good enemies to lovers, but i love the aspect of friends being there for one another and that transitioning into a deeper connection, into love. there isn't any tagged ship in this fic, but dylan and bo's friendship is at the forefront of it because the comfort that dylan provides to bo changes how he thinks and views things. he and dylan have a strong platonic love for each other, and i think it shines through! the best line in this fic is: We have to go inside now yeah? Don't worry, I've got you. and it perfectly sums up what this fic is. like a warm hug from a friend after a hard day.

3. i didn't just come here to dance: handfeeding scene

handfeeding is one of my favourite tropes in fic and i wish i gave myself more opportunities to write it because the intimacy of it!!!!! being cared for by someone in ways you know you don't need but want to give them anyways!!!!!

i wrote this one into this fic in particular because of the character dynamics and characterization of the two leads. i think this is one of the first fics where i really started to explore that idea, of having my own headcanons for characters, and integrating that into how they interact with others and with the object of their affection especially. in this case, one of the big things i wanted to highlight was jack's big fear of never being enough. he's never been enough for anyone (or so he thinks) and how does that inform his interactions with noah? it certainly tinges them with a sense of desperate connection with the one person who does see him as enough. i feel like all of my characters tend to have something like this (like owen's constant paranoia about not being interesting enough for kent to stick around).

also this serves as a good consent scene for the both of them, both of them sane and coherent enough to say yes to one another. which is always good! consent is necessary and sexy!

4. the boy who sits at the front of the class: breakup/makeup scene

another really underrated and really short one! i never get an opportunity to talk about this one, mainly because i have a lot of fucking fics lmao, and it's one that i released kinda under the radar.

i felt like this scene was needed mainly because i didn't want their relationship to be perfect. it's unrealistic to expect that, especially as a high school relationship. right person wrong time is something i believe in so strongly, and it just wasn't their time after high school going into college. that didn't mean they stopped loving each other though, and i think i say it in that scene that both of them were devastated by it.

you'll also notice the repetition of 3s rule in this scene (p much throughout the entire scene) and that's another trait of my writing. i love using that for dramatic effect and also to really emphasize what is going on. i think it makes it easy to add a ton of detail to scenes without feeling like there's a disconnect with what's actually going on. i mention 3 unrelated moments, but they're all kind of connected by the "there..." thread. great literary technique, highly suggest to all writers!

my favourite line from this fic is: Kent, Kent, Kent. It’s all him in the end.

because it could really be a synopsis for the whole fic and how i view owen as a character lmao. reading through the rest of my owen/kent fics, you'll notice that my owen characterization develops throughout, to really highlight that as one of his key traits.

5. lover of mine (maybe we'll take some time): nail scene in amsterdam

one of my favourite scenes i've written for this fic, mostly because i think it's one of the only ones that perfectly balances the angst, the pining, and the humour of it all. if i had to introduce someone to this fic, i would probably use this scene to do it tbh because it has everything i want to show from it.

funnily enough, this was a scene i started over at least three different times when writing out this fic. truly, i have no idea why it was so difficult, but in general, i find that this one of the most difficult fics for me to write. i think it's because i don't have a very firm grasp on kent's characterization at all, what makes him tick and what not. the au setting does make it a bit easier for me to mold him to whatever i want him to be, but there's a reason i tend to write from owen's pov instead of kent's. i feel like i really understand owen as a character (and you'll find i tend to lean one way in all of my ships in terms of understanding their characters), and with kent, i feel that less so. i wanted this scene to show owen and kent's genuine friendship, and how owen cares for him enough to do things like this with him. owen cares enough to pay attention to the fact that this is what kent wants, and to ask him the truth about what's going on. he doesn't push, because he knows kent well enough to know he'll tell him anyways. i wanted to give the audience an idea of how far their connection goes and how good of a friendship it is. add in a bit of owen clearly wanting to tell kent how he feels about him (spoiler: he's kinda in love), and some humour, and you have a great scene.

i think this scene is also a really good indicator of how kent views owen too. it's a lot of foreshadowing for how they will inevitably end up together, through the dropping of little hints. like really, kent shouldn't want to be so observant of what owen is doing, but he wants to because there's something more than friendship simmering under there. and because he finds he's really good at it.

the vibe is this scene is truly something i want to try to capture in most scenes going forward in this fic. and hopefully i do! the next chapter is great chapter and when i do release it, i think you'll find that a lot of the amsterdam vibes do reflect on it.

[mlmxreader]

Hiya!

I'd say I hope things are well but I saw you recently got injured?? Your friends Megan and tokillamockingbird427 are absolutely correct about your medical practices. Petrol for a wound 👀👀👀 sir 👏🏽 stop👏🏽 it! I hope you're doing good now and nice on booking a new tattoo, I wish.

The Wrong Side..... what to say about this piece except BEAUTIFUL! I loved it (sorry if this becomes redundant but I genuinely enjoy your writing for a certain gangster so much!)

The pain both Alfie and reader felt was so profound through this piece. You broke my heart a little when Alfie spat the line:

"I was the one in pain! And you didn't give a fuck."

No! My baby bear man!!! Someone give him a bloody hug!

The shaking of their hands as a remnant of, no doubt, the trauma from the horrors they’ve had to face and commit. That anger not only at themself but at the Kaiser, The King, and the rest of the lot forcing this fight that would have no winners, no real victory, the only spoils would be blood and death. The imagery of stained hands was so powerful and spoke volumes to the very real tragedy of the fighting as well as what was deserved for those who instigated it.

Camden Town being the one place where their hands stopped the shake 🥹. They'd finally made their way home and the fact that it is still able to have that place of solace for them, so much so that the tremors reminiscent from the war are even kept at bay, even if for a short while.

The nervousness of seeing Alfie again.

"I can leave"

😫 Stop it emotions, cease yourself so I may get through the whole text!

"Y'know me mum was worried sick about you! She thought you'd fuckin' dropped dead!"

NOO!! MISSUS SOLOMONS as an indirect casualty!! Alfie being absolutely heartbroken, okay, we'll deal with that, but his mum??? No. Nope. Absolutely not, reader needs to immediately rectify that situation because that woman is amazing and deserves better than that. So trot on outta Alfie's office, down Bonnie Street and make that shite right. Because Missus Solomons has my whole ass heart and I will not allow her to remain heartbroken any longer so fuck off and make it up to her.

"Camden ain't like you remember it," he sighed. "But I'll protect you."

Oh man, and after all of that, they still love eachother. Freaking exquisite. Did I mention that? Bloody beautiful. Love the story, love you, have a great rest of your time.

P.S. So sorry for the long rant, here's the gist: I absolutely loved it. Thank you so much! Wicked you're getting a new tattoo. Please do not use petrol for your wound 🙏🏽😭!

Til next time 👋🏼!

🐍anon

hi!

yeah, I've got some less than nice cuts on my arms that were uhm, well a couple of them were quite deep lmfao but just bc @tokillamockingbird427 and Megan nag me about modern medicine doesn't mean I'll stop using trench medicine 💀💀

the tattoo is booked for the 19th, so thankfully, it's not TOO far away and it should be quite fun!! it's another homage to my old dog, like everything is bc we grew up together and we were best friends for going on 15 years. so he meant a lot to me tbh, bc believe or not, but a lot of kids at school didn't often want to be around the schizophrenic kid, whereas Brian (the dog) was happy so long as there was a stick to throw, scraps from the plate, a place on the bed and a nice scratch behind the ears.

I'm so, so glad that you enjoyed The Wrong Side!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Alfie and the reader REALLY regretting living to see the end of the war, bc all that's left is just pain and regret for them both.

you COULD potentially say that the reader has shellshock tbh; like, the fact that their hands shake and their response to Alfie losing his temper, both fit the bill for shellshock. so it's a possibility that that is there. but they're still painfully aware that WW1 wasn't a justified war, it wasn't a war that did any good; they're right, the King and the Kaiser and the Tsar and the politicians across Europe (who kicked off the initial conflict) are very much to blame, and their living ancestors today still have that blood on their hands.

Camden is definitely their Safe Space, like, that is where they not ONLY feel at home but also absolutely feel SAFE; they know Camden! they used to love it there! Camden, for the reader, is their oasis; it's their shelter when it's raining.

they're so nervous to see him again, not bc of the fact that they still love him, not bc they fought on the axis side as opposed to the allied side; but bc of the breakup, and bc they KNOW that they hurt Alfie.

Mrs Solomons may have been the one who told Alfie about the German scrap metal business to begin with 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 but we'll never know (or will we?) so I don't think she's worried about seeing the reader again bc she might have been the reason why the reader came back in the first place 👀👀👀

Alfie still holds a lot of anger against the reader, but all the same, he does understand why they had to do it; during WW1, if a British officer was found to be fraternising with a German soldier, it meant trouble for both - even truces in the trenches were punished heavily. so he does understand, but he's still angry. does he love them? yeah! of course he does! but he's still angry, he's still jaded by what happened even if he does understand.

but anyways shfkajfkajfja I'm SO SO glad that you enjoyed it!!!

and don't worry about ranting, I love it when people rant to me about fic 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[mothsandmoxie]

i’s really frustrating to owe tens of thousands of dollars for 2 degrees (bachelor & master) and having it be a useless endeavor.

i’m highly educated and graduated with honors. but i don’t have 3, 5, 7, 10 years experience in any job, ever. further yet in anything that relates to my degrees.

“entry level” jobs always require years of experience (at least here in the states)... and i just don’t get it. that’s not entry level to me. they want to pay people entry level salary for years of experience. it’s bullshit.

i apply to jobs constantly. if the job requires interview(s), i will not get the job. i’ve interviewed for hundreds of jobs, most of which i’m overqualified for considering my education. as soon as i walk in for the interview or get called into the room to interview, they get one look at me (and you can SEE the look on their faces, trust me), and they’ve already decided they are not giving me the job. i’ve had interviews last between 3-5 min because they know they have to seem like they tried but they have no interest.at  one interview, at a nearby bmv (bureau of motor vehicles for those outside the states who may not know), the manager stopped mid question to end the interview. with all of these interviews, i can almost guarantee my resume goes into the trash as soon as i leave the room. super infuriating.

the only place i have applied that does not require interviews is the i r s. that’s why i always reapply there. i pass a criminal bg check and bingo bango, work. (but it can take months to like, a full year to be hired for their positions)

that being said, i lost my ideal job as a clerk at the irs a whopping 5 days into it because i got bronchitis and had to miss work but had not yet worked enough time to earn any kind of leave. ‘murica

so, people will say to me, “ok, the job search isn’t going well but you need money to live. just apply to like walmart and taco bell and keep searching for better while you work.”

my pals... i cannot do those jobs. i wish i could because i would. 

my health is trash. physical and mental. i can’t stand up for more than a few min at a time. i basically can’t do any physical labor because i can’t lift anything more than a few pounds and that whole bending, twisting, etc. obviously doesn’t fly either. 

also got sick during the clerk position because i had to walk to a parking garage down the street. after the walk, which almost killed me anyway, i did fine in the office. but then i had to walk back down to my car, through a parking garage in which the elevators were down for maintenance, trek up multiple flights of stairs, not able to find my stupid ass car for over 2 hours, crying and having a massive panic attack while desperately looking. i have some health issues that cause overheating, so when added to all that mess and it being about 40 degrees outside, my immune system went right into fucking me up lol

and jobs that require passing a physical? bet you can guess how that goes. i can’t pass a physical, not even close. another situation where all i have to do is walk in the room and the doctor/nurse is like, “oh no... no no no... no passing this.” (i’m fat af guys... like very fat--and there are those of you on my friends list that i have seen be shitty to very fat people and i hope you’re miserable tbh... especially those of you who are “smaller fats” who attack those larger than you or look at them with disgust--i honestly hate you and i hope you out yourselves on this post so the trash can take itself out)

i can’t work at a call center because i have severe phone anxiety. (my first time around at the irs was the call center... i was good at it but had anxiety and panic attacks multiple times a day, nearly every day.)

i’ve applied for disability time and time again and am always denied. i guess because i’m not on my deathbed, i’m not disabled enough, despite barely being able to function as a human. 

i guess the whole point of this post is for me to just express myself. i’ve been doing a lot of job searching and applying. and each time, when i finish doing it, i have an anxiety attack. i just... i don’t know. it’s my own fault, but i can’t just wave a magic wand and make everything better. it’s going to take years and years. i don’t have years. i’m without money, without a car (because it’s fucked up and i need the money to fix it), without a home... i am have nothing.

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

The idea that Draxum designed mutagen to increase subject aggression is making me reevaluate how I think about the newer mutants. To what extent are they responsible for their own actions? If some creep jumps out of the bushes and jams a needle full of PCP into your arm, it’s not your fault if you flip out and start chucking rocks at people because your brain’s gone sideways.

PCP wears off eventually, though. Mutagen does not. The way some mutants act makes a lot more sense in that context. Like, I seriously doubt all six of these regular-ass human guys were okay with murdering children.

But after the mutagen worked its way into them? Draxum sang a song about why they should help him murder a bunch of annoying thirteen-year-olds and they were all like “hell yeah dude we'll absolutely help you murder a bunch of annoying thirteen-year-olds!”

The turtles are mostly doing okay because they’ve been mutated for 13+ years, nearly their entire lives. But they’re still noticeably Unhinged™ in a way that can't just be handwaved by them being chaotic Gen Z teenagers.

Splinter’s childhood in the Hamato Clan and adulthood in the Battle Nexus meant he was sick and fucking tired of fighting by the time he got mutated, so that helped counteract the mutagen’s effects. That he specifically vowed to care for the turtles and prevent them from turning into “violent monsters” also helped, though he’s still not immune to being Unhinged™ himself.

Teach your sons a lesson by making them fear for their lives! And let your newly-sapient daughter help! What a good example to set for her! Did you drop this, King? 👑

As time goes on, the new mutants will adjust to their new bodies and minds and chill out a bit. We already see moments of unexpected compassion from them in later episodes.

Repo called the “senseless carnage” of the drone fights a “shame” instead of just being happy he got new scrap. (Breaking Purple)

Hypno entertained Leo with a magic trick instead of attacking him with it. (The Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle)

And Rupert spoke reassuringly to Mikey as he helped him finish the cooking challenge. He didn’t even insult or threaten Mikey once, even though they were in a very stressful situation and that was practically his job on Kondescending Kitchen! (Battle Nexus: New York)

IDK if the turtles will ever be able to consider these guys allies outside of an emergency, but as time goes on they’ll gradually transition from being Genuine Threats to Team Rocket-esque “threats”.

TL;DR none of the new mutant antagonists are actually evil, they’re just fucked up because Draxum injected Magic Science Murder Juice into them without their knowledge or consent. Once the passage of time or retromutagen lets them regain enough of their moral code they’re probably going to be horrified with themselves.

Seriously, Rupert is 7+ feet tall and built like a brick shithouse and his ability absorption has him rearranging his body structure on a semi-regular basis, all that adds up to a terrifyingly high calorie requirement. I’d probably resort to cannibalism too tbh.

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?