#it’s a crime that i’m italian and i’ve never been there

[inkykeiji]

bf’s parents arrive home from italy & they bring us pounds n pounds of chocolate + cheese HEHEHE

look at how THICK this bar is!!!!!!! it’s so so so yummy i already had like four squares ehehehe (*/ω＼*) not pictured: me trying to snap that bar with my bare hands and bf’s mom going oh my god please help her before she hurts herself and rushing towards me with a massive knife to chop the chocolate for me

[drdemonprince]

I remember when civil unions for same-sex couples were legalized in 2016. I was only 17 at the time, and I was still dealing with a lot of stuff. Marriage was only a very far thought in the back of my mind, but still, I remember being so happy to hear that news. It was a new option for me, one that could also open up to the possibility of having a child someday, something I had never really considered possible before that time. It’s been several years now, and little to no progress has been made. I hate how slow this process is. And now we’re going backwards I’m still quite young, only 25, but I already know I would like to become a parent. It’s a difficult feeling to describe. I want to love another human being in the same way that my father and my mother have done with me. I want my boyfriend to become a dad and I want to be by his side throughout all of it. When I see my boyfriend playing with my one-year-old niece, I daydream about having a son or a daughter of our own. I want to see my parents love my child like they loved me. I want to see their smiles while they’re rocking my baby to sleep. I want to tear up at my son or daughter’s graduation. I want to be nervous about the person they’re bringing home for dinner. I want to fear for their safety. I want to trust them to make the right choices. I want to be sad about seeing them move to another city. I want to be proud of their accomplishments. I want to hope that they’ll be happy with the life they’ve chosen and that I’ve helped them build. I want to feel all of it.

A heartbreaking piece from Giulio Serafini on Italy's universal ban on surrogacy -- a policy that I'm embarrassed to admit I was not aware of until just now. Surrogacy was already banned within the country prior to this year, but this new policy now bars prospective parents from conceiving via surrogacy anywhere in the world and then bringing their children back. Between this and the country's complete ban on gay adoption, it's now impossible for same-sex couples to have children.

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

SET ME FREE x MIN YOONGI

[MAFIA AU]

PART ONE

Red Chopsticks

Side Characters: Kim Namjoon/police officer detective, Jeon Jungkook/police officer detective, Jung Hoseok/mafia member and Yoongis right hand.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, death, robbery, killing, guns, torturing, fire, porn (a lot of it), drugs, cuss words.

Song: Gods and Monsters by Lana del Rey.

Next ->

………………………………………………………………………………….

I knew that working as an intern at the police station wasn’t going to be easy. As a young woman i knew that very well. But life wasn’t ever exactly easy for me, when i wasn’t fighting to survive i was planing how to survive tomorrow.

At least i was never bored.

“Another fight against the mafia Min left three police officers in the hospital in critical condition and five dead, the police said that they are taking care of the case right now and so far they can’t disclose any information about the investigation but, everything indicates that the mafia leader Agust d was behind it. We’ll be back after the break…”.

I took a sip of my coffee as i watched the news on the tv in wall of the coffee shop. This Agust d was one of the most wanted criminals in the world, they say he has deals with the Italian and the Japanese mafia. No one knew how he looked like, the only way to know he was behind a crime was looking at the crime scene. He had a way of doing in the most cleanest way. Bodies dropped dead in a blink of an eye and no one would know.

I always wanted to be a police detective just like my father, completely influenced by him but when he passed away i made the promise to take his place and do just as much good to the world as he did. To continue his legacy. Since I was the oldest I had to take care of the house and my younger brother. Who was still in high school.

After completing my training i was assigned to work as an intern at the police station. I’ve been working for almost four months now, it hasn’t been easy since.

Many male seniors looked down on me and tooked me for weak. But that didn’t stop me. It never did in the academy and It won’t here.

I’m gonna do my job and I’ll be the best at it.

Days are work were usually the same, sitting on my desk making documents and delivering documents with criminal information on crime scenes, criminals and people who passed.

I had to make sure every information was in order and ready to be documented and archived in the system.

At lunch break I would seat in the table with the few detectives that saw me as one of them, Namjoon was working on the Agust d case together with Jungkook and his other man, he would always take care of me when he could. As fathers used to know each other and for that reason he’s always been like a big brother for me in the station.

- how’s been work so far y/n? - he asked, a smile showing his dimples making him look even more attractive.

- same old same old - i said, sitting in front of him on the table. - how is the investigation of the Min mafia?

- don’t even tell me about it. The damn Agust d is like a ghost. - he held his chopsticks tighter, a deep look in his eyes showing me how much this case has been burning him, no one wanted to catch that man more than him - But just you wait…. I’m gonna catch him and make him pay for his crimes.

- I’m sure you will - i send him an assuring smile - no one can do that but you.

He replied my smile send a small one back to me, the air around seemed to have lightened up since.

- make sure you document our relatories right y/n - Jungkook the youngest detective said to me in a teasing way. Turning the attention to me.

- you do your job and i do mine - i said - I’ll be better then you once i become a detective.

- she’s coming for you man! - Namjoon teased, getting playful too.

- I’m not scared of girls - Jungkook stated, looking my way.

- well then I’ll make you scared - I said daring. We all just laughed after that.

Lunch time was always pleasant with them, as much as they can’t seem to stop teasing me for being the youngest, it was nice being with them.

After lunch i went back to work finding a new pile of documents with a small yellow note saying to transfer them all to the system. One of the other female workers who was a senior Looked at my way saying the boss requested me to do the documents and send it to him.

I sighed knowing it would take more then hours to complete the work, specially with how slow the system has been lately.

…

Finishing the last paper o looked outside the window at the office. It was night already, half past eleven.

I yawn getting up from the chair, time to clock out. As I walk down the stairs to the front doors of the station, Namjoon comes from the corridor of the left. I smiled at him and he does a little jog to come to me, accompany me as we both exit the building.

I take a deep breath once outside, finally time to go home.

- you need a ride home? - Namjoon offers.

- oh no, thank you though - i declined - I have my own ride home.

- don’t tell me you’re still driving that thing? - he asked incredulously of my ride home.

- hey! Don’t talk like that about my baby - i said. Hitting his arm.

- i swear that motorcycle is a monster… - he said playful.

- no it’s not… - I’m interrupted by my cell phone ringing, my brothers name shining on it. - sorry i gotta go, bye Joonie!

I quickly said by to him as i run to the parking lot, once my motorcycle was in my sight I took the call.

- hey bro what do you-

I couldn’t finished. My voice got stuck in my throat as i heard him sobbing, silent cries.

- they are coming to get me… I’m so sorry big sis…- he cried, I could hear laughs and other voices in the back.

My mind was doing loops. Different scenarios about what he might have gotten himself into that could have gotten him in that situation, i felt the rush in my body and completely lost control of myself. The only family I had was in danger and i just couldn’t breath at the thought of it. How could I not do anything?

Knowing i was just an intern at the police station but i would never turn my back to someone in need. Never.

I’m so stupid.

I moved out of instinct. Getting in the motorcycle. Turning on the GPS of his cellphone so i could track his location, finding out my brother l location was my focus now. Turning the key the loud roar of the motor was flowed through my ears. I checked the GPS once more finding out he was at the wets part of downtown.

My eyes looking incredulously at his location, just what in the world was he doing at one of the most dangerous parts of downtown?

Once I find him I’m going to smash some sense in his head, with my fry pan. Hard.

Driving this late wasn’t so bad, everyone was sleeping and those who weren’t were coming back from work or just going to parties, getting dunk or eating out. It was easier to get there faster, as i drove towards my brothers destination the streets began to slowly turn darker, and i don’t mean light sense.

I was struck by how things went down there. I never came a single kilometer close to this part of the city. Now I know why.

People fighting in the middle of the streets, some drunk men being dragged out of a pub, woman bearly clothed walking around smoking.

I stooped my motorbike to look at the GPS once again, he was close now one street ahead in the next alley. I drove there slower till I was close enough to go there on foot and made my way to the alley.

I couldn’t find words to describe this place, it smelled so bad my head started to hurt. Cigarettes and cheap alcohol, piss in the corners and some people laying on the floor. I didn’t know if they were alive but, i didn’t know if going there to check would be a good thing to do.

I had my own share of trouble to solve now. Once in the alley i felt paralyzed, honestly I didn’t know what to expect from this. I didn’t know what to do. I just knew my brother was i danger and i had to get to him quickly.

Once there i stood in the alley, my heart was weighing on my chest, as i saw three men cornering my brother. Two of them wearing big jackets and while one wore a baseball hat the other a bucket hat he was the one who held my brother against the wall while the other one threw a punch against him. Those disgusting pieces of trash.

- ya!

Anger boiled inside me. Now finally getting their attention. The one who threw the punch turning towards me. He was bald and had a dragon tattoo on his face that follow the side of his head to his left eye.

- there's nothing to see here princess - he said - get out or... we might not let you go.

- no, you leave - i stood my ground - i already called the coops, leave my brother.

They all just laugh, i didn't move an inch through if i wanted to win this I would have to fight. I knew I would.

- you all heard that? She called the cops - he said in a mocking way to the other guys and they all laughed - you must not be from here little girl.... the coops don't come here any more.

- yeah... - the other one who held my brother said, he took his cap off siding with the tattoo guy - Agust D made sure of that.

They looked at each other and chuckled.

- we gotta thank him for that... - the back one said walking towards me - thanks to him we can do whatever we want to little girls like you....

I felt like throwing up.

It wasn’t long before two arms held me from behind, a breath of cigarettes hitting my face. A forth men? I tried to break free from it but the man’s hold was strong.

Bald guy walking towards us a vile smile on his lips as he did so, my mind was completely blank and all i could hear was my heart beating faster in my chest and their laughs as if it was coming from far away.

My eyes desperately searching for my brother finding him laying on the floor, fear boiling on my body. I could only watch.

How useless i was.

- we are gonna have so much fun… - he said grabbing my face and smiling sickly. I was so disgusted and angry at the same time.

Still i spit on his face. For a second it seemed like he didn’t believe it, then he angrily cleaned his face with his hand.

- you bitch! - he was one second from slapping me in the face.

If I’m in hell, might as well shower in flames. I closed my eyes waiting for the blow, but it never came.

- what’s is all this garbage?….

A different voice said this time, before anything could happened, from behind the man in the other end of the alley a man stood there.

I couldn’t make his face as he was too far, he proceeded to light a cigarette and take a blow. Smoke flying above his face as he lets it all out. He was wearing simple clothes, ripped jeans a white shirt and flower shirt over it. Long black hair slick back. He walked slowly towards the commotion, as if this was nothing but exactly what he stated: garbage.

- we don’t need more people here friend… - the man in front of me said, walking towards the new stranger - just keep minding your own business.

- well you see… friend - he said closer now, eyes falling over mine and i noticed the scar on his face. It made him look mad. - i don’t like men hurting woman…

- I don’t give a shit about what you don’t like get the fu- before the man can say even one more word, scar men throws a punch on him, cigarette still between his lips.

He falls on the ground nose bleeding and groaning in pain, scar men takes a second blow lof the cigarette letting the smoke fall out of his lips slowly in the air watching the men on the ground, a smirk on his face.

- I also don’t like poor dirty vocabulary… - he said, throwing the rest of the cigarette on the man.

The two other guys went stray to the scar men, one of them throwing a punch on him but he quickly dogged grabbing the guys arm bringing towards him he punched his ribs then kicked him on the same spot, while this were happening the other one who just watched grabbed a piece of wood and went straight to the scar face men.

It happened so fast, the guy didn’t stood a chance as scar face held the piece of wood and his other hand before he could do anything, a sick laugh coming from scar face lips. He looked as if he was having the most fun but, more then anything like this was nothing to him.

I knew he went hard when i heard the sound of cracking, but it wasn’t from the wood. The painful groan that left the guy mouth was enough to tell me, scar men broke his arm then threw the guy on the floor two with another kick. He stood there pushed his hair back and looked at me, a smirk still on his face.

The forth men that was holding me finally let me go, turning back i only saw him walking fast as if he had nothing to do with this signaling to the other men to get out of there, one after the other they got up from the floor leaving quickly. I don’t know who that men with the scar is but although he helped me and my brother, he doesn’t seem like one to mess with.

As the alley was clear i ran to my brother, checking to see if he was okay. He hugged me as soon as i kneeled beside him.

- why did you come? - he cried on my shoulder - they could’ve hurt you…

- and they hurt you - I told him - how could i not come? Should I have just left your!? You punk.

I helped him up holding him by the waist, I honestly thought the scar men wouldn’t be here anymore. I was surprise to see he was still there looking at me and my brother. Both hands on the pockets of his jeans.

Noticing my look of surprise at him he only side smiled, I couldn’t read his expression.

- it’s still dangerous to be alone at this time… - he said walking to the end of the alley where he came from and towards the street - let’s eat something till things cool down in downtown.

I didn’t question. I didn’t know how things worked at downtown and if he’s from here he knows more then I do. Seeing how my brother was still in pain I thought that would be a good idea, at least until he gets better to go and as the scar men said till thing cold down.

So i follow the him. We walked without saying anything else, the streets of downtown seemed to really be quieting down now . He stopped in front what looked like a noddle restaurant, it looked old with rustic furniture and decor.

He walked around as if he new the place and quickly sat down in one of the tables on the back, i fallowed him sitting in front of him after helping my brother to sit beside me.

And old lady came to our table, she seemed to know scar face as she smiled at him.

- the usual mister Yoongi? - she asked him, he nodded.

- the same for them - he then replied, she looked at me once then my brother the expression on her face showing clearly. Pity.

She quickly went back to prepare the food, i looked at the men in front of me. The scar on his face gave him a fearful look, he had sharp eyes too and moved with so much confidence and control of himself. Nothing around his surrounding seemed to fazed him, he looked indifferent to everything.

He’s from downtown. The part of the city were crime was all over it, the mafia Min had control over it more then the military soldiers. No one could take this area down. They had so much power over it no one from the outside could even imagine what was truly happening here, everyone feared getting even the stlighly close to here.

I tried not to think about it so much as time passed, the food was put in front of us by the old lady. The scar face who’s name the old lady said before was Yoongi took his chopsticks blowing the noddles before eating.

His knuckles had some blood on them, but he just eat as if it wasn’t nothing to him. Are all the people in downtown like this? Born bad? Born with blood in their hands.

Now here i’m right in the middle of it. With this men in front of me who looked like he was some kind of mafia criminal.

- are you in the mafia? - I only realized I said my thoughts out loud when he looked at me.

He stoped mid eating, mouth slightly opened as he hold his chopstick. His eyes locked on mine and he stared at me, it felt cold the more i held eye contact with him. I couldn't decipher what was going on his mind, it made me even more intrigued and for a second it felt like time had stoped, everyone and every thing around us simply didn't exist.

How did I get here? Who was this men?

I couldn't breath. My eyes were glued on his, how could someone like him have this kind of effect on people? I felt a shiver run down my spine as he licked his lips smirking if that was somebody else I’m sure it wouldn’t look as attractive as he made it look and before he took a bite of his food he simply said without breaking eye contact with me.

- no.

Nothing else was said after that.

We all just eat our food. The silence was filled with only dish sounds and food being cooked, some old people talking about sports and how some areas were too dangerous.

I kept checking on my brother to see if was fine, he only eat his food quietly blood dried already on his bottom lip, a bruise on his right eye turning red. I hated the fact i couldn’t protect him. Even after becoming a police officer I couldn’t do anything to protect my only family.

Mat the sudden movement in front of me my eyes turning to Yoongi as he got up from his seat, he grabbed the pair of red chopsticks before looking at me one last time.

- i have something to deal with now - he said - you know that way out, don’t worry about the food… is on me.

Was all he said before turning his back and walking towards the back of the restaurant with the red chopsticks.

What a night.

Taglist: @missmin @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe @catlove83 @taegicity @ginger-coffee-addict @rosquilleta @tarahardcore @liveyun @manuosorio @thvlover7 @4ukiyo4 @sukonsukuna @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky

Notes: First part is out YES. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes I didn’t edit yet! 🥺💖🤭

[fragileruns]

welcome backk !!

request for tasm!peter - peter would always blow off reader on dates because he's busy fighting crime and stuff like that, and reader has always been patient with him and understanding until she finally had enough. peter went to her apartment without thinking ( so he was still wearing the suit ) because he wanted to make up with reader right away and then he reveals his identity to her and they make up ( can end with smut )

i am terrible at making requests, and sorry if it would be hard to understand T T

anywaysss happy that you're back :D take caree

sorry this request took so long, lovely! i hope you enjoy! sorry for not including any smut, i’m just not the best at writing it yet.

summary: peter’s been showing up late, or not at all, for all your dates recently and you’re upset, until you find out why.

content warnings: fluff mainly, very slight angst, peter being a stressed baby, gn!reader (i think, let me know if not!), not proofread

The first time it happened was a study date. You had been struggling to grasp the new topic that had been introduced in your mathematics class and Peter, being the braniac he was, had been quick to offer to tutor you. He was supposed to come over that Friday night and have a movie night, after you finished studying. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he was just running late or had an emergency, but then the hours creeped on and he still never showed. He apologized the next day, claiming May needed help with something and he couldn’t get away (apparently, this ‘something’ had kept him from messaging you that he wouldn’t come, as well, but you decided not to bring that up).

The next time was a bit more annoying. It was date night. You and Peter always set aside at least one day every week to be ‘date night.’ It usually just consisted of take out food and really cheesy movies, but it was nice to be able to spend time together, especially when classes filled up most of your schedules. You had a stressful week, with exams coming up and final projects being due, and you had been looking forward to spending a night with your boyfriend. He always knew how to put you at ease. You waited up for him for hours, but he never showed, again. At least this time he did text you, even though it was nearing midnight and it only read ‘I’m so sorry, this huge emergency came up. I’ll make it up to you with an icecream date tomorrow???’

The cycle continued on. He kept missing minor dates, sometimes showing up hours late or texting you that something came up, and other times just going radio silent until the next day. And you had forgiven him everytime, but he could tell you were getting annoyed and feeling rejected. Rightfully so. He knew he had to make it up to you, somehow, and his best plan of action was to scrape together whatever money he could and find the fanciest restaurant nearby (which wasn’t as fancy as he’d have liked, but it had foods he had never heard of, so he figured it was good enough).

“Okay, listen, I know I’ve been really, really bad at showing up to our dates on time, as in, I haven’t been,” he had started one night, coming into your apartment after one of his classes. You were sitting on the couch, surfing through movies to find something to watch, and he walked over to plop down next to you. “And I know you’ve been stressed with exams, and I just… I want to make it up to you and tell you I’m proud of you for getting through them. So, I made us a reservation at that fancy place - the italian one, down the road? Anyway, it’s for Saturday at 7, and if you don’t totally hate me, I thought it’d be nice.”

You glanced over him, furrowed eyebrows and with only a hint of hope. It was hard to keep believing he’d show up whenever he had missed so many. “I don’t hate you. I just… are you sure you’re gonna show up? I’m really tired of embarrassing myself by just waiting around,” you admitted with a doubtful sigh, and Peter’s heart nearly broke. He felt even worse for missing everything, and he wished more than anything that he could just tell you why.

“Hey, I swear, okay? I — I’m really sorry for missing any of our dates, and I’m sorry you felt embarrassed. But, the only way I don’t show up for this one is if I’m dying in a hospital somewhere, alright?” He rushed to reassure you, hand reaching out to cup your cheek and keep your attention on him. Seeing his puppy dog eyes made you give in quicker than you would have liked to, and you just nodded with a small ‘okay’ to agree. He grinned, leaning in to give you a sweet kiss, before turning back to the TV, decidedly picking some action movie that he thought you’d like.

Saturday came around, and you hated to say it, but you were excited. You had dressed nicely, taking over an hour to get ready just to make sure you looked perfect. You even arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early, waiting outside for Peter to show. He ended up texting you that he’d be running a few minutes late and asked that you went ahead to claim your seats, told you he’d still be there shortly. You lost some hope, but still trusted he’d keep his word and went in to sit down.

By 7:30, most of that trust had died and you apologized to the waiter for wasting so much of her time, but you were sure your date would show. She gave you a sympathetic smile that made you want to curl up and die as you ate your complimentary bread.

By 7:45, you had already send Peter a string of texts, letting him know you were about to leave and would talk to him later. You still hoped he’d respond though, but no luck.

Finally, by 8:00, you had given up all hope and just left, apologizing again to the waiters as you hurried out, eager to get away from the stares. You stopped by a small pizza place on your way back, starving as you hadn’t ate since before noon that day, scarfing down the slice before going to your house. Part of you worried that Peter was, in fact, dying in a hospital somewhere and that was why he didn’t show, though you knew that wasn’t why. Knew he just got caught up with something else, like always.

Peter stared down at his phone, mask held in his other hand as he frowned at your string of texts, all consisting of things like ‘this is humiliating, are you showing up??’ and ‘you promised you’d show.’ He felt that deep pit of guilt, and he didn’t think before swinging to your home, only wanting to make things up to you. Only wanting to make things better before you finally just gave up and broke things off with him. He wasn’t at all focused on the fact that he was wearing his tight suit, mask in his mouth now, identity fully revealed if anyone squinted enough.

His heart was beating a mile a minute, but not because of the adrenaline of the fight or the feeling of whipping through the air. Because he could only imagine how upset and angry you must feel right now, and he felt awful for being the cause of it.

He got to your house in less than half the time it would usually take, moving as quickly as possible, tapping on your bedroom window as soon as he spotted you in bed. You had rolled over at the noise, eyes squinting to see what was going on at first before you spotted him. He noticed the split second of anger that came across your features, but it was quickly replaced with wide eyes as you rushed to let him in. He glanced behind him to make sure nobody was about to throw something at him.

“Peter, you’re —” you had started once you pulled the window up, but you didn’t have time to continue before he started rushing to apologize.

“I’m sosososo sorry, I know I promised and I don’t have a good excuse, and I know you must be so upset right now,” he started, his own eyes wide as he climbed in, hands immediately finding your waist to stand you in front of him, ignoring your own shocked look and attempt at getting words out. “Tell me how to make it up to you, I’ll do anything, I swear. Seriously, Do you want a puppy? A cat? A — a lion? Anything?” He was practically begging.

“Spiderman,” You had responded. His eyebrows furrowed, hands dropping from your waist as he took in what he thought was your request.

“You want — you want Spiderman? Like, a cutout? That’s… okay, I didn’t know you were that big of a fan.”

“No, Peter, you’re… you’re Spiderman,” you stated and he was more confused than ever, but then your hands reached out to grab the mask that had dropped to the floor, and everything clicked together. He had never changed.

“Oh, that — um, I was at a costume party,” he attempted to lie, and it was clear on your face that you weren’t falling for his bluff. “Okay, yes. I’m Spiderman. That’s… sort of why I’ve been so late to everything.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Did you not trust me?”

“No. No! That’s not it at all. I just — it’s dangerous. For you to know anything. For you to even be with me, but I’m too selfish to end things. I just didn’t want someone coming after you just because you knew my identity,” he admitted with a frown, upset that you were now in harms way just because of his own stupidity.

“You’ve been doing this alone? You haven’t had any help?”

“What?” He questioned, looking at you as if you had asked the most absurd question possible. You were worried about his help when he had just missed his probably fifth date in a row? And put you in danger? “Um, yeah, I’ve been doing it alone. Look, I’m really sorry about tonight, and I promise —”

“Peter. It’s fine, I’m not mad. Anymore. I just can’t believe you hid this from me. I could’ve helped you, you know?” You cut him off, reaching out to rub your hand over a bruise forming near his eye. He hadn’t really noticed it from the fight, used to being punched around and overly focused on trying to get home to you.

His eyes were wide and filled with both worry and guilt. Guilt over missing tonight. Worry because he had no idea what was going to happen now, because it was about to become ten times harder to keep you safe. If anyone found out you knew his identity, they’d come for you, and Peter really didn’t know how to deal with that.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… I was scared something would happen to you. I can’t lose you,” he admitted, his voice small, and your heart broke.

“You won’t, okay? Nothing’s gonna happen to me, I’m here. But I wish you would’ve told me, I hate thinking about you out there, getting hurt. Not having anyone to patch you up. Is that why you’d wear hoodies so often?”

“Yeah,” he looked slightly embarrassed, and he moved to sit on the edge of your bed, keeping a hold of your hand as you went to sit next to him. “I usually heal up really fast, though, I promise. So it’s not that bad. And I’m really good at patching myself up, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Of course I’m gonna worry about you. I worried about you before I knew you were Spiderman, why would you think I wouldn’t worry about this?” You sighed, scooting closer to him as he wrapped his arms aorund you, moving to hide his face in the crook of your neck. You could tell how messed up he felt about it all with how openly he was craving your affection, but you didn’t say anything and instead just put your hands in his hair, scratching his scalp gently.

“Sweetheart, ‘m gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that,” he said, but you didn’t stop and he didn’t stop you.

“That’s fine. Just go to sleep, bug boy.”

He grumbled something out about the nickname, something about being a man and not a boy, but it was quiet, and he almost immediately fell asleep soon after.

[fairyhagmother]

el, you're special. you don't have to get interrogated about felix. instead I'm asking about our joint hallucination, maximinius ravinstill... (considering that almost everything about him has been made up by us together... I'm giving you the out of felix... who is mostly a guy I made up... rip)

man from the prop money…..also I’ve had a drink

First impression: none because he wasn’t there

My impression now: absolute wet rat of a man. has about as much swag as trembling Italian greyhound. Somehow also the president of fictional fascist state Panem? Kind of an enigma but mostly volumnias pet president. she parks him in the lab meeting rooms when she’s at work and he stares at the wall.

Favourite thing about the character: how u made him up

Least favourite thing: the war crimes 😔

Favourite interaction that character has with another: when he nodded at coriolanus that one time

A character that I wish he would interact with more: volumnia. hate to break it to everyone but they literally never interact in the book. They interact in my heart and mind. however

Another character from another fandom: King Arthur. He is an absent figure around which the entire narrative revolves. but also he is depressed does not really want to be there and will leave an event early to take a nap

A hc: loves to read and loves history. When his crush dies (rip) he is like I’m going to kill myself like in the tragedies I read. They’re by this guy called Shakespeare? You wouldn’t know him bc the govt of panem censored him 😔 slept with volumnia once and then was like. well now I’m gay for suresies

A song: sure I’ll put him on my 1980s British electronic music abt science playlsit. Or maybe common people by pulp bc that would be funny

Unpopular opinion: N/a all my opinions are popular by default bc no one really thinks abt him outside abyssal me and meekmedea

Favourite picture

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Hey there!

I wanted to post that for a while so, here we are.

Wondering who’s behind this blog?

Here’s something about me under the cut:

• I identify as a woman, my pronouns are she/her

• Born and raised in Italy, I still live there.

• I’m 141 LOL but according to people I still look like I’m in my 30s so let me indulge in that, thank you very much.

• I don't think there's anyone who makes me more feral than Joel Miller. I just can’t help it. My (un)holy Pedro characters triad is Joel, Oberyn and Peña 💕 (immediately followed by Frankie)

• I have a little elephant pendant that I always wear, no one knows what it's about *wink*

• I’m Leo Sun, Libra Rising and Aries Moon. You scared? I promise I don’t bite, unless explicitly requested 😏

• I’m Bi/Pan as fuck, always been obviously but I realized only last year. LOL, better late than never i guess. I only have problems with cisgender straight white males because I mean… they’re the worst, okay, I don’t make the rules.

• Single, unmarried, not interested in having kids even a little bit, I prefer to be the cool auntie.

• I love cooking and I'm quite good at it, I had good genes from my Italian grandmas 😌

• I can’t function without coffee, especially in the morning. I take my coffee bitter with just a little bit of milk.

• I can’t stand lies, the phrase “oh I didn't tell you so as not to make you suffer” (UGH, no you didn’t tell me ‘cause you’re a fucking coward and that’s it, my friend), misogyny, racism, fascism, homophobia, bi-erasure, any other form of verbal or physical violence towards LGBTQIA+ people, injustice in general, if you are any of the above you are not welcome here or in my life.

• I love dogs. I have a poodle named Brienne after the GOT character, she’s 5 years old so that means she got me through pandemic and she’s my love and joy. Isn’t she adorable? Yes, she is.

• I’m unfortunately allergic to cats (yep, like Pedro) and can’t pet them unless I wish for an asthma attack. That sucks, I know.

• I have deep brown curly hair, brown eyes and I’m short (158 cm).

• I have a lot of freckles, you could go on a treasure hunt following them.

• I’ve been to more than 100 concerts in my life including some festivals abroad.

• I currently listen to Hozier and Chappell Roan on a daily basis. I also love Billie Eilish, used to be a big Muse fan (listen, their first albums were great, okay) plus I’m a sucker for ‘90/‘00 music ‘cause that’s the music I grew up with.

• I love beer more than wine.

• I love reading, I used to read all the time, I have less time to do it now and it bothers me so much. I’m still reading fanfiction though. 🤭

• I’m a sucker for True Crime Podcasts, I only listen to Italian ones for now so unless you’re Italian you don’t know my faves and it’s a pity ‘cause they’re really good.

• Cults scare the shit out of me but at the same time they’re one of the things that makes me more curious ‘cause my mind can’t really comprehend what happens in people’s mind when they get sucked into them.

• Some tv series I love in no particular order: The Last of Us, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Lost, The Handmaid’s Tale, Bojack Horseman, GOT (until seasons 7 & 8 happened 💀), Sense 8, Jane the Virgin, Grace and Frankie, Narcos, Only Murders in the building, The Bear, Succession, The Morning Show, Friends, Stranger Things (mostly because Jim Hopper is there, certainly not for those z*onists, you know), Mad Men, Gilmore Girls (Luke Danes *cough*), Mindhunter, Peaky Blinders (huge Tommy Shelby’s slut, don’t look at me like that, okay), My Brilliant Friend, The Affair, Black Mirror (until last seasons happened but it used to be one of the greatest things ever), The Walking Dead (got bored halfway through season 9, I recently started a rewatch and I hope to get to the very end of it lol), Fleabag, Normal People, When They See Us, Hill House, Bly Manor, Midnight Mass, Chernobyl.

• Films I love in no particular order: Parasite, Aftersun, Past Lives, All of Us Strangers, Brokeback Mountain, Almost Famous, The Goonies, Stand By Me, The Breakfast Club, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Lobster, The Neon Demon, Midsommar, One Day, When Harry Met Sally, There’s still tomorrow, Strange Way of Life, Prospect, The Banshess of Inisherin, Coco, The Emperor’s New Groove (so underrated), Mommy, The Virgin Suicides, Girls Interrupted, Saltburn, Promising Young Woman, Little Women (1994), Gone Girl, Shoplifters, Bin-Jip 3 Iron, Love Me If You Dare, The Piano, Fried Green Tomatoes, Notorious, Some like it Hot, Rear Window and you can ask for my Letterboxd account for more.

• Bad weather makes me sad and melancholy.

• I obviously love Italian cuisine with all my heart but I also love to try new dishes especially when I’m abroad. I love chocolate and I have a sweet tooth in general but there’s nothing I crave more than good carbs (I can be happy with a slice of good bread or focaccia). I love spicy food but I can't handle it when it’s very very spicy.

• I love bags, I have so many bags and I still want more lol

• When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer or a journalist. What do I do now? I’m a secretary LOL (I also have a second job not related to writing as well)

• As a friend, I’m loyal to the bone, I could do anything for you if I love you. If you betray me real bad though don’t expect a second chance, I mean I could try but I know i can’t ‘cause you’re changed forever in my eyes.

• I have so many kinks, you can ask if you want to know, okay. Also, so many authors here are responsible for giving me new ones. I love you deeply.

If you want to know more my asks and dm are open!

Here’s a little bit of me, byeeeee.

[hoffstrap-yuri]

To Have and To Hold

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary: Like a game of cat and mouse, Hoffman and Strahm continue their little ruse from DC. Just in New York this time.

*Rating: +18 for Explicit Mature Content

*Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Slight Feeding Kink, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Domestic, Domestic Fluff

*Status: Sequel/Complete (First Chapter of First Fic Here) (Second Chapter of First Fic Here)

Author's Note: So Hi. Here's the sequel people have been asking for to "In Sickness and In Health (Insurance)". Sadly there's no fraud in this one, but I wanted to focus more on them growing as a couple than them just being bickering accomplices so that's why there's more focus on one date. This is also for the anon on tumblr who clocked me for having a feeding fetish in seconds after I reblogged a "make an assumption about me" ask game. Also yay Perez cameo in this fic, because I love her dynamic with Strahm so much.

Hope you'll all enjoy this one as much as the last, and thank you for reading as always!

Click. Click.

“Stop.” Strahm looked over at Hoffman from across their desks

“Give me the answer to 5 across, and then I’ll stop.” Hoffman replied, continuing to click his pen. He didn’t lift his eyes off the paper in front of him.

“I’ve got something better.” Strahm slid a paper across their desks and Hoffman took a glance at it. He couldn’t make out the details so he used the end of the pen to slide the document closer to him. He looked over the paper and brought it up to his face.

“I don’t get it. Is this the answer to 18 down?”

“No dumbass.” Strahm’s face dropped and covered his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I got us a reservation to a place.”

“What kind of place?”

“An Italian place.”

“Sounds nice.” Hoffman crumpled up the paper and threw it back into Strahm’s lap. Strahm unfurled the paper and smoothed it out over the desk

“You told me you wanted me to buy you dinner back at the hotel a couple months back. I’m buying you dinner.” Strahm grumbled a little bit

“And you’ve only shoved your tongue down my throat about five times since then. So much restraint on your part, Agent.” Hoffman rolled his eyes, “What’s in it for me?”

“Other than free food?”

“Yes.”

“You get a free ride into the city and don’t have to deal with Manhattan parking?”

“More.”

“What more could you want, you idiot?”

“Give me something like that bathroom in Virginia and our hotel room after our meal.”

“You want me to get us a hotel and make a weekend out of going an hour away?”

“Only if you want to. I was referring to the more heinous things we did in those places.” Hoffman stood up and leaned over Strahm’s desk. Strahm forcibly expelled a breath through his nose and Hoffman sat back down with the satisfaction that Strahm had gotten the memo. He crossed his legs and picked his puzzle up in time so that when Perez strolled in, it looked like the two law enforcement agents hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Honestly, when do you two ever eat?” She asked, looking over at the partner she’s had for five years

“When I feel like it.” Strahm responded. He leaned in his chair and flipped through the manila file folders before him as Hoffman answered Lindsay with a shrug. Hoffman got occupied making calls to potential witnesses for interviews the rest of the afternoon, while Strahm was tasked with making a drive out to a crime scene.

---

Strahm walked through the door of the other man’s home. It’d become second nature to him to go back to the detective’s house at the end of the work day. Perez even joked that she never saw Strahm at their hotel’s complimentary breakfast and he brushed off her concern with a ‘we must just go down at different times’. He sat down on the couch that was like a second home to him and turned on the TV without so much as a second thought. Hoffman leaned against the door frame and watched his partner from a distance before Strahm felt his gaze squarely on him. He looked back over at Hoffman before saying,

“Come here.”

Hoffman walked over to the couch and sat next to the FBI agent, taking the other man’s arm and putting it around his shoulders. He asked Strahm, “What are we watching tonight?”

“General?”

“I’d rather die.”

“Fine. We could watch survivor…”

“What about that Law & Order show?”

“You don’t think we get enough of that at work?” Strahm scoffed

“I don’t get to see Mariska Hargitay at work every day.” Hoffman shot back

“Oh bullshit, I know you’re not looking at her.” Strahm looked down at Hoffman and at his lips. He was frustrated having this back and forth exchange with the detective with no end in sight but he needed the other man. He craved the feeling of Hoffman’s stupidly thick lips on top of his.

“You look ravenous, Agent.” Hoffman caught Strahm’s gaze and leaned further into his space.

“Just thinking of how stupid you’d look with a mustache. It’d only highlight how damn big your lips are.”

“Right, that’s definitely what you were thinking.” Hoffman leaned back. Strahm made a noise in the back of his throat from the lose of contact but made a face instead of admitting that he wanted the detective in his arms. “I’m going to bed. If you care to join me.”

“I’ll be there in a minute. Something caught my eye on the pay-per-view channels.”

“Just give me the money later if you decide to watch something.” Hoffman got up from the couch and walked off to bed without so much as another word. Strahm looked over his shoulder and watched Hoffman walk away. He flipped through the channels mindlessly for a couple more minutes before crawling into bed next to Hoffman. Hoffman felt the shift in the weight on his bed and wrapped his arms around Strahm before the agent could protest. Strahm rolled over just enough that he wouldn’t break the grip Hoffman had on him and shut his eyes. When Strahm woke up the next morning, Hoffman was already in the shower. Strahm rolled over to look at Hoffman’s bedside clock. 6:30. Lindsay was probably down at the hotel’s breakfast right now, or was on her way to get some coffee from Dunkin. While he thought about his partner, his other partner stood at the bedside before uttering,

“The bathroom’s all yours.”

“Thanks.” Strahm replied back before lugging himself up off the mattress and into the bathroom. He put the previous day’s clothes on the side of the sink and hopped into the shower. He stole a bit of Hoffman’s aftershave and rubbed it across his neck. Before stepping out of the bathroom he slung his clothes on and realized he was missing a tie. He walked back to Hoffman’s bedroom and sat next to the other man.

“Something I can help you with?” Hoffman looked him up and down

“What did you do with my tie from last night?”

“You got some food on it and I threw it to get washed.”

“You mind if I borrow one of yours?”

“Sure. Won’t Lindsay notice?”

“Not if we bury the lead.”

“I don’t know how much further we can bury before we seal our coffins, Agent.” Hoffman got up from the bed and walked over to his cabinet. He pulled the first tie he found out and threw it at Strahm, who clumsily caught it. He wrapped it around the back of his neck before Hoffman swat his hands away and tied it for himself. He pulled the knot tight as Strahm stared at Hoffman’s hands working with a speed he’d never expected from the detective. “Now hurry. Or else she might get to the office before you do.” Strahm thanked him quietly and scuttled off to his car. He turned the key in the ignition and sped off out of the alleyway. When Strahm got to work the minutes dragged into hours. Hoffman talked to him like they hadn’t been one brush of contact away from making out that morning and it was killing Strahm. He started clicking the bottom of his pen before Lindsay gave him a look. She knew under normal circumstances the clicking would’ve driven Strahm insane and Strahm seemed to notice her gaze. He stopped what he was doing and shot a look at Hoffman who seemed to relish in the fact his habit seemingly grew onto Strahm.

“Doing anything fun this weekend?” Lindsay asked Strahm, pulling her attention back to the computer in front of her

“When have I ever done anything fun with my time off, Linds?” Strahm scoffed

“Don’t know. Weather’s supposed to be good.”

“I’ll be sure to stop at the Central Park Zoo for you.”

“Thanks.” She took his sarcasm and slung it back at him

“You must have something going on then.”

“Just going to see my mom.”

“Tell her I said ‘hi’.” He nodded

“I’ll make sure to save you an empanada.”

“Is that your way of asking to leave early?” Strahm looked up at her

“Maybe. Could throw in a slice of tres leche.” She shrugged

“Just go.”

“No tres leche?”

“No, definitely bring me a piece.” Strahm scoffed

“See you next week Pete. Hoffman.”

“Bye.” Hoffman replied as Perez threw her stuff in her bag and left

“We could probably get out of here early too.”

“Could we now?” Hoffman looked over at Strahm, “And what would we do with all our extra free time?”

Strahm looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was around before uttering in a low voice, “I could buy you a new outfit for our date.”

“Now we’re talking, Agent.” Hoffman grabbed his suit jacket and got up from his desk. Strahm followed with his case files in hand. Hoffman got in Strahm’s car and Strahm questioned him about it.

“The hell are you doing in my car?”

“It’s more efficient to carpool these days, Agent.”

“But what if Perez comes back and sees my car gone but you’re still here.”

“She’s not coming back.” Hoffman replied, “Now drive us to the mall and we can pick my car up later.”

“Fine.” Strahm backed out of the lot and drove them to the mall. While it wasn’t nearly as exciting as their first time shopping for a dress for Hoffman, he still had his fun teasing the agent with quick utterances about how his legs looked in a long dress he brought into the dressing room, or how tight a midi dress looked around his waist without ever going out to give Strahm a sneak peek.

“These two.”

“One.” Strahm said

“Two.” Hoffman bit back, “I know you can afford it and after all, this was all your idea.”

“Fine.” Without another fighting word, Strahm brought the dresses up to the counter while Hoffman looked at the various accessories by the registers. To the average onlooker, it probably looked like Strahm was buying the dresses for his wife while Hoffman was trying to pick out earrings for his bride. Strahm slung the bag over his shoulder and nudged Hoffman out towards the mall before Hoffman guided Strahm to another store.

“Seems like I’m getting low on my aftershave.” Hoffman remarked

“Wouldn’t know anything about it.”

“Right.” Hoffman rolled his eyes and picked up a bottle from the store. He stepped out a couple seconds later before his lips nearly grazed the side of Strahm’s ear. He whispered into it, “You know that bra you got me won’t work under my dresses.”

“So let’s get you something that’ll work.” Strahm replied as quiet as he possibly could. Hoffman walked off with a smirk as he dragged Strahm to another store. Hoffman threw a stack into Strahm’s arms and brought the other man up to the register to pay for it all. The cashier tried to strike up conversation with Strahm, saying how lucky his wife must be to have him out buying something for her. “Yeah. She is.” Strahm replied, not taking his eyes off the ever climbing total. He shakily handed his credit card over before getting the bag in return. Hoffman hummed in a twisted satisfaction as he practically pulled Strahm out of the store in his borrowed tie. “Think you’ve blown enough of my money for today here?”

“And if I haven’t?” Hoffman countered

“Then I would say you’re crazy.”

“To bad you don’t have the balls to say no to me.” Hoffman smirked. He saw a hallway in front of them and pulled Strahm around the corner before pushing his weight onto the special agent, pinning him to the wall. “Watching you squirm like this, Agent Strahm… does something to me.”

“Sadist.” Strahm scoffed

“If I’m so much of a sadist, what do you call it when your partner will use any phrase but the simple three worded one to get his feelings for you out? I think that’s pretty sadistic.” Hoffman growled at the other man. Strahm felt his face getting hot. So Hoffman had noticed his dances around saying the words ‘I love you’. He thought he was being slick about it, but if Hoffman noticed he must’ve made some unsubtle move in the past… Before he could give Hoffman an answer or a reasoning behind why he’d been avoiding those words, Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm. “Think about it, Agent.”

“Fine.”

“Good. Let’s go get my car.” Hoffman hummed and they walked back to Strahm’s vehicle. While Strahm was pulling away from the mall, Hoffman leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek. Strahm’s face turned a beet red yet again before realizing no one would notice their intimacy at 40 miles per hour. Strahm pulled into the lot of a fast food place quickly and kissed Hoffman square on the lips before driving back to the police station. “See you at home.”

“See you.” Strahm replied quickly and sped off. Strahm beat Hoffman to his house and waited at the patio door for Hoffman to come with the key. Hoffman strolled to the door and reached behind Strahm to unlock the door. He kissed Strahm’s cheek before walking into his home. Strahm followed suit and trailed behind Hoffman all the way to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around the detective as the man reached for something in the cabinet overhead. Strahm then buried his face in Hoffman’s neck.

“Here I thought you only liked me with a bra on.” Hoffman reached behind himself to run a hand through Strahm’s hair. “Such affection from you, Agent… will tonight be the night you slip up and say it?”

“No.” Strahm makes a noise of disapproval in the back of his throat

“Saving it then for tomorrow?”

“You’re just egging me on.” Strahm replied, though it was mostly to himself

“And you seemingly fall for it, hook line and sinker.” Hoffman was quick to counter him. “Get out of my way, I’m trying to cook.”

“Fine.” Strahm peeled himself off Hoffman and sat in the living room, faced with the dilemma yet again of what was there to watch this evening. Hoffman brought a plate over to Strahm and sat down next to him before Strahm stopped on a movie. Something unremarkable and inoffensive for two grown men to watch. Hoffman got up at one point to throw their plates in the sink and grab a blanket from the other side of the room. Strahm looked up at Hoffman before resting his head on the other man’s shoulders

“You looked tired.” Hoffman explained

“Yeah. I am.”

“Then we can sleep out here.”

“Okay.” Strahm let his eyes close shut and woke the next morning to the sun pouring into the living room. Once again he was alone on the couch and cocooned himself further with the blanket now that he didn’t have to share. He heard the floors creak, more than likely from Hoffman getting out of the bathroom, but decided to wait until the detective came out to the living room. He flipped the TV on and watched a news channel for a second, waiting on the weather report. “Looks good…”

“I haven’t even shown you yet.” Hoffman peered around the corner with a slight smirk on his face

“No not you, I mean the weather. For tonight.”

“Good.” The detective stepped out and fluffed up the ends of his hair with his fingers. Strahm looked him up and down for a good while. “See something you like, agent?”

“I…” Strahm stammered, looking for coherent words rather than guttural throat noises. Hoffman’s smirk grew. He slipped his fingers underneath the bands of the garter belt he was wearing before using a free hand to pull Strahm’s gaze up to his eyes.

“Say something, hubby.”

“I… You look really good.”

“How good?”

“Like I could take you right now good.” Strahm replied weakly. Hoffman let go of his chin and sauntered away back to the bedroom, though he still seemed pretty smug as he did. He came back maybe ten minutes later with his face completely dolled up and his dress on. He posed at the entrance to the hallway, putting one hand on his hip and waiting for Strahm to say something before approaching him. Instead Strahm got up from his seat and met the detective, wrapping a hand around Hoffman’s back. He leaned in and pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s before pulling away.

“You smudged my lipstick, ass.” Hoffman used the tip of his thumb to clean up the edges of his lips. “I take it you’re ready to go then?”

“Yeah.” Strahm replied while getting his coat on. After Hoffman locked the door, Strahm held the car door open for his wife and Hoffman slid into the seat. Once Strahm gets in, he reaches over Hoffman’s lap and fumbles with the glove compartment to find the directions he printed out back at the police station. He puts his hand on the gear shift and Hoffman covers Strahm’s hand up with his own. Strahm looked behind them quick and pulled the car out of the alley before taking off towards Manhattan. Hoffman rolls the window down and Strahm takes a quick glance at the detective. His hair was getting blown back by the spring air while Hoffman looked absentmindedly out the window, but his grasp on Strahm’s hand was still tight. His legs were also crossed and Strahm could hardly take his eyes off Hoffman but returned his focus to the road as he realized it had been a second since he checked. It took every ounce of self control Strahm had not to cuss while driving into the city, and even more when looking for parking somewhere near their restaurant. When they were parked he let out one big, “Fuck.”

“Good boy.” Hoffman let go of Strahm’s hand and gave him a supportive little scratch under his chin, “Getting your anger under control.”

“Shut up.” Strahm turned away from his touch and Hoffman grinned. They got out of the car and Strahm held his arm out for Hoffman to hold onto.

“Thanks honey.” Hoffman kissed his cheek and latched tightly onto the arm. They walked along the sidewalk and dipped into the restaurant

“How many?” The host asked

“Reservation for Strahm… Peter.” Strahm replied

“Okay, give me one second and make sure your table is ready.”

“Thanks.” Strahm nodded before he pressed his nose into the top of Hoffman’s wig.

“Nuzzle me any harder, agent, and my wig will go flying off.” Hoffman said under his breath between clenched teeth

“Sorry.” He pulled himself off Hoffman as the host returned and grabbed two menus for the couple. Hoffman sat down and dramatically flipped the menu open as he crossed his legs under the table. “Get whatever you want.”

“Is that why you were being so stingy at the mall?” Hoffman asked him, not taking his eyes off the paper before them. Strahm just quietly scoffed while a food runner came by and dropped off a bread basket for the table. Hoffman looked up and stole two pieces immediately and buttered them. Strahm looked up and watched the speed with which the other man devoured the appetizer before him. Strahm wasn’t one to notice this normally. Hell when Hoffman was sitting next to him on their couch at home, he just kept to himself. Maybe it was the way he so publicly ate like a pig but Strahm pushed the basket closer to Hoffman.

“Aren’t you going to have some, Agent?” Hoffman asked, mildly suspicious of the other man’s intentions

“Yeah.” He took one slice and buttered it up, before putting it down on the side plate as the waiter approached the table. They put their order in and Strahm took a small bite from the bread. Hoffman stole another couple of pieces from the basket. The waiter came back with their glasses of wine and assured them it wouldn’t be much longer on the food.

“You keep looking at me like you have something to say honey. Just tell me what you want, perv.”

“Here we are.” The waiter stops by with two giant plates of pasta and puts it down on the table. Hoffman gives Strahm a look before taking a sip from his wine glass and takes a stab at a couple of noodles on the plate. Strahm starts picking at his meal, clearing off a decent amount in the time it takes Hoffman to finish his pasta.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, I’m just getting full.”

“Bullshit, agent.” Hoffman scoffed

“That’s all it is, I swear.”

“And that’s why you’re pushing the plate towards me, like I’m going to eat it?”

“Might take it home for leftovers.” Strahm shrugged

“Pasta never holds up.” Hoffman pulled the plate closer to him and took a tentative bite from the plate before pulling it all the way over. Strahm swapped their plates and slipped off Hoffman’s plate towards the side. The waiter came back to check in and cleared the plate without much thought. Strahm grabbed a slice of bread as Hoffman twirled the noodles around his fork and brought it up to his lips. The FBI agent looked away quickly as some of the sauce sat on Hoffman’s lips. He reached across the table and used his napkin to clean his partner’s lips. “I can take care of myself, honey.”

“I know… just didn’t want you ruining the dress I bought for you.”

“Sure. That’s your motive here.” Hoffman eyed him up before deciding to tease Strahm a little. He took the front of his foot and wiggled it in between Strahm’s under the table. He saw Strahm shift his posture as his legs moved to the side and let Hoffman’s foot wander closer. With a guess, Hoffman lifted his foot up and used his tiptoes to put some pressure on Strahm’s crotch. The other man made a choking noise and hid his mouth in his hand, but Hoffman pressed a little bit more against the growing bulge in the agent’s pants. “Oh honey. What’s got you so bothered, huh? Is it my appetite; you know shoveling food into my face?”

“I…” Strahm started to say. He wanted to deny it this time again, but realized there was no hiding from Hoffman. “Yeah.”

“There, was it that hard to talk to me, your bride?” Hoffman scoffed, flipping his hair back against his shoulders as he sat so his feet would be crossed under the table. Strahm whined softly at the loss of pressure from Hoffman’s foot. “Now be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

“Just eat a bit more than you normally would.” He replied, “I mean… you’re eating for two.”

“Ah yes, how could I forget.” Hoffman smirked and called the waiter over and ordered a second plate of pasta for himself, “It wouldn’t do me any good to deliver a baby while I’m wasting away.” Strahm could only nod as the waiter dropped the plate down in front of Hoffman. He offered to get Strahm another bread bowl, which Strahm was more than happy to accept.

“This is really good. Have a bite, hon.” Hoffman held the fork out across the table and Strahm took it from the detective. He nodded and handed the utensil back to Hoffman before Hoffman continued eating. Hoffman let a sigh escape from his lips and rested his free hand on his stomach. “I don’t know how I’m going to finish this.”

“It’s only half a plate.” Strahm mumbled under his breath, “I’m sure you can find room in there.”

“I know I could, but…”

“But what?”

“I just don’t know how I could find room.”

“Come here.” Strahm huffed. Hoffman carefully slid from his seat and used a hand to brace his back as he got up. He firmly sat down on Strahm’s lap and looked into his partner’s eyes. Strahm’s hands rested on Hoffman’s hips for a second before turning him around on his knee, making Hoffman face the table. A hand spread across the center of Hoffman’s swollen stomach and Strahm used his fingertips to massage away the tension.

“Oh that’s it, hon.” Hoffman whispered, backing his ass further into Strahm’s lap. Strahm let out a weak noise as his erection rubbed against the fabric of his dress pants. His hands sunk further into Hoffman’s belly as he tried to keep his composure. Hoffman leaned back into Strahm’s chest and let himself get felt up by the FBI agent. He pulled his hair back all one way to make sure it was on Strahm’s shoulder as the other man worked at the tense ball of flesh. “Bet you could feel the baby kick if I really had one in there.”

Strahm made a small grunt of approval that came out as a ‘Mhm’.

“Hell if I eat anymore,” Hoffman started, “I might look like I’m carrying twins. You’d like that wouldn’t you, you sick fuck?”

“If I said I did?” Strahm replied quietly

“I might have to push you over the edge.” Hoffman peeled himself off of Strahm’s lap and went back to his seat across from his partner. He ate the rest of his pasta without much fanfare and pushed the plate away from himself before grabbing the dessert menu that sat on the center of the table. Strahm moved his seat closer to the table and hid his face behind the palms of his hands as Hoffman flipped through his options. “What do you think the babies would like, honey?”

“Why are you asking me, you’re the one with the cravings. Right babe?” Strahm teased Hoffman

“You’re right, honey.” Hoffman giggled like a school girl. As soon as he did that he scoffed under the ends of his wig. Who the fuck was that in his body just now that made him act like a ditz? When the waiter came back to ask about dessert Hoffman ordered tiramisu and two cannoli. He thanked the waiter as he returned and carefully slipped the bill over to Strahm. With a small ‘No Rush’, the man walked away as quickly as he could. Strahm looked it over for a second and looked up at Hoffman. He was being obnoxious about it, but Hoffman sucked the cream out from the cannoli shell and used the edge of his tongue to clean the powder sugar off the center of his lips. He gave Strahm a knowing wink as Strahm buried his face back into the bill holder. Hoffman snaked his hand behind the envelope and tugged on Strahm’s tie, forcing him to look back at Hoffman’s gaze.

“Give your poor wife some of your attention, mi amor. Surely the bill can wait?” His lips curled at their ends and Strahm slid the bill aside, firmly placing his elbows on the table as he watched Hoffman. He hid his mouth behind his hands and kept his eyes moving, trying to avoid eye contact. Hoffman snaps his fingers in Strahm’s face and brings up a little spoonful of the tiramisu up to his lips. Strahm takes the bit willingly, only to hear a soft coo from Hoffman. “That’s it. You’re being so good.”

“Didn’t know you spoke Spanish.” Strahm muttered to himself, only for Hoffman to return Strahm’s self-deflecting barb with a smile. Hoffman finished his desserts and used a hand to brace his back a little as he leaned into his seat. Strahm slipped a couple twenties into the envelope and pulled Hoffman up onto his feet. He wrapped an arm around Hoffman’s waist and guided him out of the restaurant. His hand rested on the slight bulge in Hoffman’s dress, making the man look like he was a couple months along with a baby. Hoffman wove his fingers in between the spaces of Strahm’s and the couple strolled out of the restaurant, Strahm practically pushing Hoffman back to his car.

“Maybe I wanted to look around.” Hoffman dropped his voice back down to his normal tone and gave Strahm a look, “Or are you too impatient?” He knew it was risky, but Strahm pulled Hoffman into an alleyway and after making sure there weren’t cooks out on their smoke breaks, he pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s.

“I love you…” He moaned Hoffman’s mouth. Hoffman pushed Strahm off of him for a second before looking at him. Strahm opened his eyes and thought for a second about what he had said. He had dropped the big ‘l’ word while making out with a man behind a restaurant in New York.

And hell, he meant it too.

“I love you.” He repeated, this time a bit more quiet. Still loud enough for Hoffman to hear, but it was only for the other man’s ears. Hoffman pulled him back on top of him by the collar of his shirt and bit down on his lip as their kisses became less rational and more about the contact between them. Strahm ripped Hoffman’s coat off his shoulders and threw it to the ground, after which Hoffman wriggled out of Strahm’s hold to pick the garment up. Strahm rolled his eyes, but then remembered the credit card statement from that purchase and helped Hoffman clean the jacket up so the muck from the street wouldn’t ruin the jacket. After that was back in working order, Hoffman started to sprint towards the garage where Strahm’s car waited for the two of them. When they got into the corner where his Crown Victoria was, Strahm threw the jacket on top of the roof of his car and pinned Hoffman to vehicle. Strahm pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s neck and with a soft mewl Hoffman said in his falsetto,

“Say it again, Agent.”

“I love you.” Strahm replied. His voice was deep and guttural as he lapped his tongue at the skin of Hoffman’s neck like it was a spring in the middle of a desert. “I love you.”

“That’s a good boy.” He worked a hand through the back of Strahm’s hair before dropping again, “I have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?” Strahm looked up sheepishly at Hoffman, his eyelashes accentuating his fondness for the detective. Hoffman made a quick ‘tisk’ with his tongue and said, “I need to hear it, Agent Strahm.”

“I’m wrapped around your damn finger. I’m your little bitch. Is that what you wanted?”

“More than enough.” Hoffman pulled the other man back on top of him, using his tie like it was a leash. He hooked a leg around the back of Strahm’s leg and used Strahm’s outer thigh to give himself some friction in his lace underwear.

“I need you.” Strahm let the words slip from his lips again with desperation. Hoffman used his hands and shoved Strahm off him before getting into the car. Strahm scuttled around to the other side of the car, turned the vehicle on, and flipped through the radio stations.

“And there’s congestion on the 495 as far as the eye can see bringing your commute home to about an hour…” The radio personality said as Strahm turned it off.

“All that time in the car.” Hoffman’s fingers were already trailing up in the space between Strahm’s pecs, “How are you going to make it, Agent?”

“Thank god we’re not in Midtown.” Strahm cursed under his breath, ignoring that his bulge was growing with every playful press of Hoffman’s fingertips on his chest. Strahm scanned the signs and picked the next accessible exit for him and looked for a garage that would be quiet enough for them. Strahm put the car in park and got out of his car before thinking to tell Hoffman what his plan was. He thought for a second before telling the other man, “Get in the back seat.”

“Okay.” Hoffman got out of the passenger seat and slid into the back. Strahm took his coat and laid it on the concrete before getting down on his knees, “Aren’t we moving a little fast there honey?”

“Shut up.” Strahm worked a hand slowly up the inside of Hoffman’s dress and kissed over the bulge underneath the loose fabric. Hoffman groaned softly and lifted the end of his outfit up so that his stomach was still covered, but his legs were exposed. Strahm grabs the waistline of his tights and when they don’t come off Hoffman’s legs fast enough his nails leave streaks in the fabric.

“Remind me to buy another pair next time we’re at the mall.” Hoffman muttered to himself “Come on.”

“I’m going as fast as I can.” Strahm growled back at his partner. When the stockings were down around Hoffman’s ankles Strahm kissed the inside of Hoffman’s thighs. He wrapped a hand underneath the meaty flesh as his teeth sunk in, sure to mark up his partner’s thigh. Not that anyone else would see these. This was for his eyes only. The way that Hoffman glared down at him as he took his time to service him, the love bites he left for himself later… it was all his. Strahm let a hot breath escape from his mouth and saw Hoffman’s dick twitch a little inside the silk panties he was wearing. Rather than free him, Strahm pressed his lips onto the skimpy waistband that almost dug into Hoffman’s thick hips before letting his tongue roam down to the seam on the bottom of the lingerie.

“I don’t think you are.” Hoffman pulled him back using a firm grasp on the strands of his hair

“Fine.” Strahm took the panties and slid them down to Hoffman’s ankles just above the leggings and in a swift motion found his mouth around Hoffman’s cock

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard was it?” Hoffman teased. His hand found the back of Strahm’s head once more. He awkwardly managed to get his legs hooked around Strahm’s neck and rested his calves on Strahm’s back. Strahm slid his hand under one of Hoffman’s ass cheeks and started to slow bob his head along the length of Hoffman’s dick. He pressed his tongue against Hoffman’s tip and looked up as Mark’s eyes were shut tight. Everything in cross-dressing man’s body worked against him. His legs getting weak, his eyes wanting to roll all the way to the back of his head, his mouth threatening to let a moan escape if Strahm’s mouth got any warmer around his cock. He hit the back of Strahm’s head lightly and shifted so his back laid flat against the ugly seats in the back of Strahm’s car. He arched his back a little before Strahm’s hand laid flat against the fat of Hoffman’s stomach and pushed him back down onto the fabric. Strahm continued to thrust Hoffman's dick deeper into his throat until it triggered his gag reflex. He pulled his mouth off for a second and Hoffman lifted his head up. He was so damn close and if Strahm didn’t finish servicing him he was going make Strahm regret it. Strahm looked at him with a slight smirk before wrapping his lips back around Hoffman. A couple more bobs of his head and Hoffman came into Strahm’s mouth.

“God damn…” Strahm coughed as he attempted to swallow every last bit of Hoffman’s cum. He pulled himself off of Hoffman once more, and Hoffman lifted his hand up to Strahm’s lip. He paused for a moment before wiping the last drop off the soft skin and brought his finger up to his own lips. He waited while Strahm sheepishly slid Hoffman’s panties back up his legs and did his best to adjust the tights so they wouldn’t trip the other man on the walk to the passenger seat. When he got Strahm’s undivided attention once more, he licked his fingertip clean and sucked on it. Strahm leaned in and kissed him, resting a hand on the side of Hoffman’s neck as he stood over the detective.

“Say it.” Hoffman demanded of Strahm. Strahm hesitated for a second before saying “I love you” one more time. Hoffman sat up in his seat and ran a hand across Strahm’s chest. “When am I going to hear it from you, huh?”

“When I feel like it.” Hoffman pressed his lips onto Strahm’s cheek and with a stiff finger pushed Strahm off of him. They got back into their respective seats and before Strahm took off he flipped on the radio once more. Traffic had cleared up, and they headed back to Hoffman’s house. Hoffman unlocked the door and leaned against Strahm as they stood in the entryway. “What do you want?”

“On the couch.” Strahm replied

“Oh. Can’t even wait for the bedroom?” Hoffman teased him, kicking his heels off with wild abandonment before stepping over to the couch. He sat down and Strahm sat down beside him. “That it?”

“No. Put your feet up.”

“Okay.” Hoffman raised an eyebrow and slung his legs over onto the couch. Strahm wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tucked Mark’s head onto his shoulder. “What’s this Agent?”

“That post-coitus cuddle I was looking for in DC.” Strahm said without missing a beat. Hoffman shrugged and sat with him while Strahm turned on the TV. He was pretty happy, but Hoffman wanted more. He could tell Strahm wanted more too. So to drive up the tension a bit, Hoffman rested a hand on the inside of Strahm’s thigh. When Peter seemingly ignored that gesture he worked his hand over in small circles.

“C’mon. I’m down for something.”

“What?” Strahm’s Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed back the dryness in his throat

“Let me be in control this time.” Hoffman hooked a leg over Strahm’s lap and sat there. He pulled Strahm’s dress shirt out from his pants and worked a couple of the buttons open. Next, he took off Strahm’s belt and threw it towards the kitchen, making sure to toss it in the opposite direction of the TV. Underneath him, Strahm turned the TV off. Whatever was on wasn’t getting him in the mood. Strahm lifted his head up to kiss Hoffman’s neck, and as badly as he wanted Strahm to kiss him, Hoffman pushed him back into his couch. “I said, let me be in control, Agent.”

“Fine.” Strahm muttered under his breath and let his hands rest squarely on Hoffman’s hips. Hoffman bucked his hips slowly up into the slight muffin top sitting on Strahm’s stomach. Strahm made a soft grunt as Hoffman continued to roll his hips up against him for a moment until he moved back a ways. He tugged Strahm’s fly zipper down and slid Strahm’s pants and underwear down far enough that he had easy access to his dick. Hoffman huffed as he realized what he wanted to do involved having to get up, but pulled himself off of Strahm for a second to slip his tights and panties off. He threw them to the side and plopped his full weight down onto Strahm’s lap once more. The man under him made a grunt noise as his body braced for the other man’s weight, and Hoffman leaned into him. He took his face and kissed it, snaking a hand under the bottom of Strahm’s open shirt.

“I thought I was the chubby chaser.” Strahm remarked dryly

“Didn’t say that I didn’t like people with a little… heft to them.” Hoffman responded in kind. His hand rested on Strahm’s stomach before working through the hairs that grew along there. “I’ve been quite restrained with you so far, Agent. So I ask you, are you willing to trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“I want to hear you say that you’re willing.”

“I’m willing to trust you.” Strahm sighed and looked up at Hoffman. Something so devious hiding in those eyes, but Strahm couldn’t put his finger on it. Hoffman groaned softly before getting up and walking quickly. He comes back with a bottle of lube and coats Strahm’s dick liberally before taking Strahm up his ass. Strahm let out a moan as Hoffman’s hole closed around his dick. “Fuck.”

“Like that, huh?”

“Yes.” Strahm continued to moan. Hoffman saw Strahm getting ready to move his hips so he moved his hands over the sides of his hips and applied a bit of pressure. He bucked up into Strahm furiously, riding his partner until he gave up. He saw Strahm’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he came quickly into Hoffman’s hole. Hoffman continued to thrust himself up and down until Strahm’s back slumped back into the couch. Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm’s dick, but stayed seated on Strahm’s lap for a second, putting Strahm's hands on his hips.

“I love you.” Hoffman ran the back of his finger along Strahm’s jaw and looked into his eyes. Strahm nudged Hoffman off of his lap and guided the other man’s stubborn body back into the position they’d been in when they first started sitting there. “You’re not going to say anything about that?”

“About what?”

“About me saying ‘I love you’.”

“It’s an honor.” Strahm replied dryly. He pulled Hoffman’s wig off and caressed his cheek with a careful hand. Strahm pulled a blanket over his lap, only for Hoffman to steal half of it for himself as they cuddled. A couple swipes across Hoffman’s shoulder through the night, a touch against Strahm’s chest… it felt comfortable. Strahm almost didn’t want the night to end, but when he felt his eyelids growing heavy he lifted the blanket up and stood. Hoffman tried to grab the blanket back but before he could Strahm tucked an arm under Hoffman’s legs and lifted him.

“Jesus.” Mark stared back at the couch before wrapping an arm around Strahm’s neck. “The hell are you going to do now?”

“Care you to bed, idiot.” Strahm said, making the move across the room and to their bedroom. He dropped Hoffman carefully onto the mattress and let out a deep sigh before lying next to his partner. Resting on his side, he leaned in and said “I love you… Dumbass.”

“I love you too, jackass.” Hoffman smirked as he kissed Strahm’s cheek before they both drifted off.

[wishful-thinking64]

HH Rewrite Related Post #04

The final results from the 2nd poll are in and the winner was... 🥁 🥁 🥁

Hell's number one porn star, Angel Dust! While he was my favorite character during the pilot days of Hazbin Hotel, I wouldn't say he is now as a lot of what made him a like-able asshole character in the pilot isn't there in the series. My grievances aside, let's get to Angel's character sheet! ________________ [CURRENT NAME] 🞂 ANGEL DUST BUT DOES OCCASIONALLY GO BY ANTHONY & ANTONIA. 🞂 Has basically been going by this ever since he arrived in Hell as he refused to continue to being a mobster, quickly taking to sex work to make quick cash and get to live a more “exhilarating” life.

[FORMER NAME] 🞂 ANTHONY TARANTELLA. 🞂 The name Anthony means Priceless One and Praiseworthy whereas his last name is Italian for Tarantula and, yes, Tarantella is an actual last name that Italians can have albeit an uncommon one.

[D.O.B + D.O.D] 🞂 BORN APRIL 1ST, 1913. 🞂 DIED DECEMBER 24TH, 1947.

[AGE]🞂 BIOLOGICALLY 34. 🞂 CHRONOLOGICALLY 111.

[GENDER & SEX]🞂 BORN MALE. 🞂 STARTED IDENTIFYING  AS GENDER FLUID BACK IN THE 90S. [SEXUALITY] 🞂 STILL GAY.

[ETHNICITY & NATIONALITY] 🞂 AN ITALIAN WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. 🞂 I’ve written for his parents and older brother to be Italian immigrants who came to America looking for safety as tensions between Turkey and Italy during this time were high due to the war and there was a lot of social outrage within their own country during the early 1910s. I imagine that Angel never got to visit his home country which is something that deeply upsets him as he knows that he’ll never be able to see Italy’s beauty outside of photographs.

[SOCIAL STATUS] 🞂 CONTRACTED SINNER. 🞂 I feel like Sinner’s who have signed soul contracts would be below regular Sinners as they aren’t seen as someone else's property and still have control of their own life. Cause let’s be real, Sinners who’ve sold their souls away are often treated as slaves.

[CRIMES COMMITTED IN LIFE FROM LEAST TO MOST OFFENSIVE] 🞂 TAX FRAUD. 🞂 THEFT. 🞂 B&E (Breaking and Entering.) 🞂 SMUGGLING. 🞂 MONEY LAUNDERING. 🞂 SUBSTANCE ABUSE OF BOTH ALCOHOL & DRUGS. 🞂 EXTORTION (mainly opted to use threats but would easily resort to using violence if threats didn’t work.) 🞂 INFILTRATING LEGIT/GENUINE BUSINESSES. 🞂 FRAUD IN GENERAL (specifically counterfeiting, check fraud, mail fraud, securities fraud, and loan sharking.) 🞂 TRAFFICKING (typically involved in drug trafficking though he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t involved in any type of human trafficking at all.) 🞂 KIDNAPPING. 🞂 TORTURE. 🞂 MURDER.

[SINS COMMITTED IN LIFE FROM LEAST TO GREATEST] 🞂 LUST. 🞂 WRATH. 🞂 GREED. 🞂 GLUTTONY (I put Gluttony as the number one sin since I’m still having Angel still die from a drug overdose just not from PCP.)

[OWNER OF HIS SOUL]🞂 THE DEPRAVED OVERLORD OF LUST, VALENTINO. 🞂 I’m unsure of how the show is going to explain the reason behind Angel Dust signing his soul away to Valentino but I’m having it be because he was ultimately promised protection from other demons as anyone who decided to mess with him would have to deal with Val. Alas, that doesn’t mean Angel is safe from Valentino.

[PROFESSIONS] 🞂 MAIN JOB: PORN STAR. 🞂 SECONDARY JOB: MODEL. 🞂 He does mainly work for Valentino as the man owns his soul although he does work for Velvette once in a while and is even regarded as one of her top models.

[CORE PERSONALITY TRAITS] 🞂 ALLURING. 🞂 BOLD. 🞂 COCKY. 🞂 CRUDE. 🞂 DEFENSIVE. 🞂 FLEXIBLE. 🞂 LAID BACK. 🞂 OPEN-MINDED. 🞂 OPPORTUNISTIC. 🞂 PROMISCUOUS. 🞂 SNARKY. 🞂 TALKATIVE. 🞂 VAIN. 🞂 WITTY.

[RELATIONS TO THE VEES] 🞂 VARIES DEPENDING ON THE PERSON. 🞂 Angel’s relationship with the Vees truly is a mixed bag as he hates his boss but with Vox he’s on neutral ground. He likes Velvette as she acts as his (better) second boss and number one gossip buddy and the latest addition of the group, Vanitas, is the one he gets along with the most thanks to them being the most reasonable and level headed.

[REASON FOR CHECKING INTO THE HAZBIN HOTEL] 🞂 HIS LAST APARTMENT GOT DESTROYED IN THE MOST RECENT EXTERMINATION AND HE NEEDS THAT RENT FREE ROOM. 🞂 It totally isn't tied with him deeply missing his younger twin sister and secretly hoping that the hotel actually works so he can be reunited with her.

[THOUGHTS ON THE HAZBIN HOTEL & IT’S STAFF] 🞂 THINKS THE HOTEL’S PLAN WILL FAIL. 🞂 HAS VARYING THOUGHTS ON THE STAFF. 🞂 The staff member Angel Dust was the most positive/receptive towards upon his arrival at the hotel was Lavanya. It wasn’t because she was the Princess of Hell (though that certainly plays a factor into it) but because of her optimistic outlook for her people. She genuinely has hope that some of them can change their ways and ascend to the pearly gates. He thinks it's sweet despite it being foolish in nature. He’s pretty neutral on the rest of the staff minus Valoris. He does not like her and she does not like him one bit. _______________

That's the core information for Angel Dust and I used he/him pronouns for Angel throughout the character sheet because genderfluid people tend to use one set of pronouns at a time and not multiple pronouns at once like a lot of people seem to believe. Years before the pilot Angel Dust was going to be gender fluid until Vivziepop thought that information didn't fit anymore. Also the reason I said I wouldn't have Angel pass from PCP is because while PCP was discovered in the year 1926, it wasn't made aware of the public until the year 1956 under the name of Sernyl where it was marketed as a type of anesthetic. In short, there's no fucking way Angel died from a drug overdose on PCP. Another instance where Viv didn't do the bare minimum of research because that information about PCP took me all of two minutes to find and that was solely because I wanted the exact year from the 50s where it was introduced otherwise it was a twenty second Google search. In any case, next I'll do Valoris' character sheet since she got 2nd place in this poll. Thank you to everyone who participated in the poll and I hope you guys liked Angel's character sheet!

[stefanmikaleson1864]

Let's Play

Genre: smut

Paring: female Reader x Rafael Barba, Dominick Carisi Jr and Michael Cutter

Idea: reader is a criminal and has been arrested for a serious crime now she has to go to court and could go to prison for life. Her solution is to seduce the Executive Ada (cutter) and his Adas (Barba & Carisi) in their office to get a deal so she doesn't have to go to prison

Requested by: @villains-are-hot

A/N: Thank you so much for sitcking with me and i really hope you enjoy this piece !

Y/N’s POV 

Jail is the fucking worst. It’s not what they present on TV at all it’s hard and rough and not a place that someone like me belongs.

This whole innocent or guilty thing doesn’t apply anymore. It’s never about whether you did the crime or not it’s about how you can get out of it. 

That’s something i’ve always been good at finding my way out of things. It’s because of my looks honestly. I take a lot of time working on myself. Eating the right things and not moe procedural work and hair and nails. I bake out in the sun and tan and i make sure i look like a barbie doll. 

It’s worked for me my entire life. Being able to walk through any situation and work or perhaps flirt my way out of the situation. I mean why else would you work so hard if you weren’t going to use it to your advantage. 

Right now you were currently sitting in the district attorneys room.

You were currently out on bond and your very old but very expensive lawyer was convincing you to take a deal. You a deal ?? Like hell you would. 

Okay maybe i should start at the top with everything. I’m not the devil in this case okay.

My ex boyfriend was stalking me and was harassing me all the time. He wouldn’t leave me alone and i thought something bad was going to happen.

He was breaking into my apartment and leaving letters and sending me pictures polaroids of myself while i was out and about.

I tried to tell people but no one listened. Expect Bobby that is. He told me not to worry about it. 

I didn’t ask any questions and when Matt ended up dead I didn’t think to go around telling anyone. I was more relieved than anything. 

But when your ex ends up dead of course your name comes in the investigation.

Then when Bobby got offered a sweetheart deal he took it in a heartbeat and told everyone you asked him to do it. 

Which was absolutely crazy. I mean sure you weren’t complaining when he died but you never asked for the man to be murdered. I’m innocent in all of this really. 

Right now you were sitting in the courtroom while all these delicious men were debating on what to do with you.

Your lawyer had stepped out for a moment not that you were complaining though because this situation is everything you wanted. 

They all were a little older than you, but silver foxes were the best they have knowledge they knew what they were doing. 

“Come on just go easy she clearly didn’t know what she was doing” The tall italian one said. He was clearly an ex cop you can tell a man like him he knew how to use handcuffs. 

“Absolutely not she knew what she was doing was wrong she set into the motion the events of a mans murder”  The shorter man with brownish hair yelled. 

“Come on gentleman why are we even wasting our time with this the jury is going to convict her and our hands will be washed” the shorter more angrier man said. 

You sat up straight in your chair. Your back was stretched, your girls were out and proud. You “accidently” knocked over a coffee cup with a tiny bit of coffee. 

“Opps i’m sorry gentlemen” You said smiling and laughing. 

The taller man got up and cleaned up the mess and you could see him look up at you. Your eyes meant with him and you flashed a smile down at him. It was clearly working he wasn’t looking away. 

“All finished now with what ever this was” the shorter man said. 

The taller man got up and threw the stuff away in the bin. 

“What’s your name” You asked in a flirty voice 

“Dominic Carisi, everyone just calls me Carisi” He said in a more nervous tone 

“What the hell am i watching” The shorter man yelled. 

“And who might you be” You said leaning on the table and the man looked at you with a disbelief look in his eyes. 

“Michael Cutter and that’s Mr Cutter to you” He said in a more stern voice. 

“Well so nice to meet you” You said

“And you, who might you be last but not certainly least” You said batting your eyes and moving around a little bit to show off your assets. 

“Rafel Baraba” He said in a monotone showing he wasn’t even that interested. 

You reached out your hand and you took his in yours and have it a nice squeeze. He didn’t let go right away which surprised you then he snatched in a matter of seconds and played it off. 

Carisi was looking at you out of the corner of his eye and it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

He looked somewhat jealous but also irritated. Like what was running through his mind. Either way it seemed like a good opportunity for you to run it through. 

So you looked away from Barba and looked back him. His piercing blue eyes taking a look at yours.

You leaned in and he just sat there a moment not moving either. 

It felt like there was a moment going on there and you took his hand and brought it up to your lips and gave him a kiss on the hand. 

“Whoa okay don’t do what” Carisi yelled. 

“Come on police officer you liked it” You said 

“It’s ADA and no I didn’t” he said 

You turned your back and looked at the shorter man who was leaning against the wall just kind of looking at you. 

“And what about you I know you like it to don’t you” You said running your tongue against your lips. 

“No absolutely not” Barba said in a mototone 

You gotten up from your seat and walked over to Cutter who was now sitting at the table and looking more and more over this.

You sat down on the empty seat next to him and placed your hand on top of his. 

He looked at you and he got a look on his face where he was both appalled at what ever was going on and he also looked intrigued too. 

You knew you could pull him out he was acting tough but was he also really that tough you thought to yourself. 

You leaned in and you got closer to his face. He just kind of looked you in the eyes and he quickly looked down at your lips. 

“Come on you know this isn���t on me” You whispered quietly and grabbed his tie and played with it. 

“All i know is  your a criminal” he whispered back 

You just smirked and played cool you would never let the upper hand slip away.

"Maybe take a girl out before you judge her" You said.

He just looked at you with a mischevious look on his face like he was debating on taking you up on the offer.

You got up and walked over to Barba and he looked a little more annoyed than usual with you. You just stood up straight girls were showing curves were popping off. 

“What about you you know what they say the biggest surprises come in small packages” You said putting your hand on the wall over top of him and looking down at him. 

He seemed into it like he was hiding it just like the rest of them. They all knew they wanted it but they couldn’t have it. Was it because they wanted you or they wanted they knew what they couldn’t have. 

You didn't forget about carisi though you knew he was going to be the one to come through in the end. you had him so close you just needed to nail it in.

That’s what it was a lot of the times with the men you dated. Was it because they had an illiouson of something else. 

You decided now was the time to get what you wanted you played them like you needed. They all were leaning towards you they didn’t want to admit it but they all secretly wish they had you. 

You walked over to where you were sitting. And this time you let your body fall loose. You wanted to look more simpler more sad 

You looked over at Carisi with a more soft tone then you ever had. You were begging him with your eyes.

"Mr Carisi please listen to me that's all I asked" You told him

"I can't talk without your lawyer" He said in a soft voice which means you had him

“Wheres my lawyer” You asked

“Why your not going anywhere anytime soon” Cutter said. 

You worked your face up to look sad and more worried. 

“I need to get out of here” You said

You looked more irritated and more like something was bothering you. 

“I know what you all may think okay I’m not heartless i really didn’t know what he was going to do okay. I would never wish anyone dead” You said. 

You let your tears roll down your face something you were good at. 

You quickly wiped them away and it worked with everyone. They all softened their tones and sat down. 

“Listen let us get your lawyer we can help you” Carisi said. 

“How”  You asked in a soft tone. 

Barba walked into the hallway to gesture your lawyer to come back. After a few seconds he did. 

You all were sitting down at the table and looking at each other. You were playing with your fingers something you did to help make it like you were nervous. 

“How about we offer criminally neglect homicide 2-4” Barba said 

“No way she was a victim” Your lawyer said. 

“I was scared and worried all the time okay he wouldn’t leave me alone he was going to kill me” You said in a soft scared tone.

“You willing to testify” Cutter asked. 

“Yes anything” You said. 

“FIne were drop charges for the testimony” Barba said. 

“Thank you lets go” Your lawyer said. 

You got up and left before they could change their mind. As you were walking out you looked back at the guys. 

You put your signature smile on them 

“This was fun boys” You said leaving the room giving them a little wave. 

You walked out the room and was laughing to yourself. You knew damn well you weren’t going to Jail not never. 

[maddys-nerd-blog]

ITS RESCUE TIME FELLAS

Only this is gonna have to be a two partner cuz apparently this was too long so I edited this to split into two parts 😅😂

This is the one I’ve been most excited to share!! We get more Danny and Leo bonding, and we catch a glimpse of Danny’s past trauma with his own father that led him down the slippery slope of crime. I really wanted to establish the father-son bond that grows between these two in the final installment of the Familia story. I feel like over the grand course of the story, it’s Danny’s fatherly bond with Leo that grows the strongest, much like Mondo’s bond with Katie. Also I am NOT a fan of Rise Splinter, can you tell 🤣

General warnings of torture, blood, heavy cursing and violence!

NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!

Ransom 4.5

A TMNT Crossover Short Story Fanfic

Part Four: Ultimatum

Three days passed before Danny knew it. Three full days of being stuck in this stuffy room with nothing to do but sit in a chair and stare at the same walls he’d been looking at this whole time. And three days of boredom that sapped him of all energy— he didn’t know how much longer he’d have the patience to count every crack and crevasse in the ceiling or hum ‘One hundred bottles of rum on the wall.’ Being tethered to one place for hours at a time didn’t help his already weary bones or bruised ribs. Danny’s arms yearned for freedom— they were stiff as a board, bones rigid, muscles tense, aching from being bound all day. His head was pounding nonstop, stress and anxiety festering throughout his brain. He was irritated and tired. He was hungry. He was exhausted.

But at least Leo was providing conversation.

“—and then Mom flipped the guy into the table like a WWE star!” Leo laughed. “It broke in half like a toothpick! She knocked his lights out! Pretty sure he had a hernia too.”

“Did she?”

“Yeah, but her comeback was weak! She was like, ‘I watch Jackie Chan on the regular!’ It was so lame! I could’ve thought of better!”

“Oh yeah? Tell me then. What would you have said?”

“Uuuuh… oh! ‘Better watch your fall!’ Or ‘Get dunked on!’”

Danny snorted, stifling a laugh. “Get dunked on? Really?”

“What? That’s such a badass line! I should know! I come up with cool taglines all the time!”

“Then ya gotta find yerself some new material. Ya sound like one of th’ Three Stooges.”

“I’m actually not offended by that. They were geniuses.”

He smirked. “They were. Best of th’ best, if I had a say so.”

“Do you like any other kind of comedy?”

“What kind we talkin’ about? Chaplin or Sandler?”

“UUUUUGH WHY DO OLD PEOPLE BRING UP CHAPLIN?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know Chaplin was a MASTER at comedy, there will never be anyone like him in our lifetime. Also, again, I ain’t old!”

“How old are you?”

“Forty-three!”

“I rest my case!”

The kid knew how to make him laugh despite everything, that was certain. Leo was true to his word about being a chatterbox— he didn’t know how to stop once the ball got rolling, rambling about adventures they’d gone on in Danny’s absence. It gave them something to do instead of wallowing in silence if the gags had been bound back in place. He was grateful for the conversation. It was helping him stay sane. Chatting about anything other than their current situation was better than stewing in the bitter quiet of this rickety building or continue to count cracks in the floor.

“What’s so funny?”

“Just— haha! Jesus, kid, ya really know how t’ make people laugh!” Danny cackled. “Yer Ma must love your jokes!”

“She does! She calls me ‘bromista’ but I’m not far enough in my Spanish to know what it means.”

Danny paused to catch his breath, ears twitching at the word. Straightening in his chair he translated. “Prankster. It means prankster.”

“You know Spanish?!” He could almost hear the excitement in Leo’s smile. “Wait, do you know it fluently or are you also learning?”

“M’ still learning. Italian’s more my style. Kat’s taught me enough t’ hold a conversation,” Danny tried to turn to properly look at his fellow captive but the ropes binding his torso sank into his chest, causing him to flinch. Mother fuckers. Pushing the pain aside he decided to continue. “She been teaching ya long?”

Leo hummed, thinking. “For about a year. I think Casey’s the only one who’s been making progress though, but I think it’s cheating cuz he’s been learning it already since he’s the only one who goes to school.” The slider tried to look at the yōkai, this time with eyes that shined with interest. “Hey, do you think Mom gives all of us different nicknames?”

Danny grinned. “I don’t see why not. She gives me all kinds of names.”

Snorting with bemusement, Leo asked “Like what? Cheese addict?”

Laughing softly at the jab Danny shook his head. “Not all th’ time. I’ll give ya points for creativity. She usually calls me Amor or Corazon.”

“Corazon… that one means heart, right?”

“Mm-hm. Amor means love.”

This caused Leo to giggle. Danny could see his shoulders start shaking from laughter. “You guys are so corny.”

“I’ll take corny over ‘cheese addict.’” Danny lightly teased.

“I thought you liked my puns!”

“I do, but cheese addict is a bit overplayed in my world. Ya got any fresh material?”

“Well, other than rodent based jokes I’m all out. If Don-Tron were here he’d…”

When the slider went quiet, Danny became confused. Momentarily he wondered if he’d said something wrong or hurt his feelings. That hadn’t been his intention. He looked over his shoulder to gauge if the kid was alright. “Everything okay?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Just… lost in thought I guess.” Leo responded, his voice turning flat. “Haven’t been missing this long before.”

Ya shouldn’t be missing at all, Danny thought with sympathy. Clearing his throat he spoke again. “Homesick?”

Leo paused. Three minutes went by before he answered in an even quieter voice. “… yeah.”

“Try telling me about your family, your real one. We came from the same dimension, right? Ya mentioned ya got brothers? A Dad?”

Leo went quiet again.

“Kid? C’mon, talk t’ me, don’t let yourself stew in those bad thoughts. It’ll kill your motivation.”

The slider was still for a minute, holding his tongue. Contemplating over what he was going to say next, Leo took a deep breath to better compose himself, then decided to try, “I do. An older brother, a little brother, and a twin. He’ll never admit it though. Back home we always try to stop crime and do some good in the city. There’s a human we’ve known since we were little, her name is April. She’s basically like a sister to me. I go to her for fashion advise, we bail her out of mischief: a win-win scenario! Sometimes we go out on the town just to cause trouble. Mike’s an incredible artist; he redid the entire lair with all this killer graffiti. Don’s always building something that could get him arrested and I pick on him for it, but…” he paused, tone getting lighter as if remembering his family fondly. “He’s probably the only person that understands me most days. They’re probably wondering where the hell I am. They probably think I got eaten by the Krang… if they haven’t been thinking that already.” He slumped into his chair, shoulders shaking slightly. “My Pops… he wouldn’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Ya can’t believe that,” Danny’s brows shot up, shocked. “Don’t you and your Dad get along?”

Leo’s staggering silence caused Danny to stare at the teen with gnawing empathy. “Leo… do you and your father not talk?”

“… I don’t have much of a relationship with my Dad.”

If nothing else got to him, Danny was damn well sure that did.

“I mean… my big brother is more of a father to me. Pops never did anything with me growing up. I can only think of one or two times he actually remembered which one I was. Everything else was just Raph taking care of us when our dad forgot we existed. Don’t get me wrong, there were good times here and there. But ninety percent of my life my own father pretended we weren’t there. We weren’t his problem.” Leo sounded so downtrodden it broke Danny’s heart. “Raph made sure we were fed, that we had enough to eat, that our home was safe when Pops wasn’t awake to check, that none of us got left out. I was such an ungrateful idiot to him about everything before I ruined our lives by freeing the Krang. ‘When are you going to start trusting me?’ That was the last thing I said to him before…”

Danny remained quiet, letting the teen vent. But things took a turn when the slider started to get emotional; he’d begun choking up. “I just… damn it. It’s all my fault our world got wrecked by the Krang! I was so selfish and ignorant, I almost got my brothers killed! I made it about myself and my ego when I should’ve put my brothers and our home first! Things never would’ve gotten so bad if I didn’t screw up. Just like back home. Just like in space when we got captured by Zanramon, just like when Mom told me not to go out to the surface, just like Raph back at the lair. I don’t ever learn. My dad was right… all I do is screw everything up. If you never chased after me you wouldn’t be here. I…” Leo’s voice began to tremble, a sob squeaking out miserably. “I’m so sorry I got you into this. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

Silence took hold of him in wake of the kid’s weeping. What could one say to such a raw confession? Leo was young— only fifteen. How did he carry all this tremendous weight on his back? How could anyone let him do this to himself? How could his father not be there for his kid? He’d only known the teen for the better part of a year, but he’d already sacrifice his life for him. To think that this boy’s father wouldn’t do the same…? After all he’d done to prove himself?

Sour memories of his own childhood came to mind; Of a daunting presence towering over him as a boy, lecturing, scolding, half-empty bottle of cheap wine in hand. Hollow eyes staring right through him with bare hatred. A scowling face that almost looked like Danny’s, only his was more callous, detached from the young rat he’d carelessly neglected. It was an image that made him bristle, his fingers clenched into fists. Without thinking he spoke to break the silence. “I don’t have a good relationship with my Father either.”

Leo sniffled, the chair and his ropes creaking from a slight shift in movement as he attempted to look at the yōkai. “Y-you don’t…?”

“Nah.” Danny shook his head. “My father and I never had a stable relationship when I was your age. Ma passed when I turned twelve and it broke something in him. Told me I looked too much like her t’ ever speak t’ me. I didn’t wanna go into th’ family business, so he resented me for it. I always had bad role models growing up— I wanted t’ be like Clyde Barrow. I wanted t’ be rich and live a life where I had control of myself, be what I wanted. Truth be told I used t’ dream about bein’ a performer, one of those Fred Alastair types. My father never understood. Said I was delusional. Especially when I told him I was getting hired by Big Mama t’ make it big,” he scoffed under his breath, a light smirk playing at his lips with mirth. “He just about blew a gasket. Told me I was an embarrassment, I wasn’t th’ son he raised, I was better off dead than working for th’ competition. He told me ‘If yer gonna make this family look bad, ya ain’t welcome here.’ So… I left. And I never looked back.”

Leo, having grown silent to let Danny finish his story, sniffled as he piped up, “How old were you?”

“Seventeen.”

“… how long has it been since you saw him?”

“In person? Thirty-six years.”

Danny could almost feel the empathetic eyes of the slider peering over his shoulder. He didn’t need to look at Leo’s face to know that he was stunned. “I’m so sorry…”

“Isn’t a big deal t’ me.” Danny reassured. “I knew it was coming so I wasn’t too upset.” A somber chuckle escaped from him over the thought. “It made me laugh afterwards.”

“But…” Leo’s arms twisted around, trying to move, wanting to better look the man in the eye. “Did you ever regret it?”

He shook his head. “I kinda knew when I left that he wouldn’t give a damn once I was gone. He never made th’ effort t’ phone me or look for me. It was a part of myself I had to let go of if I wanted t’ move on. There were times where I thought I could give him a call, but… I’d get cold feet.” Danny sighed, long and hard, giving a small shake of his head to clear the resentment. “I found a better family in all of you, anyway.”

“I probably ain’t th’ best person t’ take advice from given my record, but I know one thing.” Danny looked back at the kid, trying to offer a kind smile. “Yer stronger than yer dad if he don’t see how important ya are t’ yer brothers.” When Danny didn’t get a reply straight away, he continued. “Ya wanna know something? When I met Kat, she would talk ‘bout how proud she was of her boys. She would tell me everything about th’ kids she was looking after. How brave and adventurous they were, how they kept fighting even when th’ odds were stacked against them, how they saved her from herself.”

“… she really talked about us that much…?”

“‘Course!” Danny twisted himself around as best he could manage, the ropes biting and pulling stubbornly into his arms from the motions. “You guys are th’ center of her world! It’s nothing but high praise! I could write up an entire novel’s worth of compliments she gives you. Ya might not realize it but yer mom loves all of you so, so much. If ya asked her for a thousand bucks she’d bring you diamonds. Ya ask her for a house, she’d buy you a castle. I bet if she could, she’d hang th’ moon and stars for you. All she wants is t’ make you happy.” The yōkai grinned, recalling the pride in Katie’s smile when she told him about the kids, about their achievements and their accomplishments. If there was any mother in the world that could be more proud of her children, she’d be the living example.

Leo giggled, a small sob stifled behind it. He swallowed, hesitating, gathering himself to properly breathe. “I-I didn’t think… I didn’t know we mattered this much to her.”

“You kidding?” Danny couldn’t help the incredulous tone in his voice. “I won’t be surprised if she breaks th’ doors down t’ this place t’ get you back. If there’s one thing we both know ‘bout Katie, it’s that she’ll stop at nothing t’ bring ya home. She’s gonna be here soon.”

The slider spared a small glimpse over his shoulder to look at the man, eyes beginning to dry. Gratitude painted his features as the grin on his face warbled. “… thank you, Dan.”

Danny offered the kid a gentle nod. “No problem.”

They sat in relative silence for five minutes. Leo started breathing easier, much to his relief. The turtle slowly raised his head, looking up as best he could to meet Danny’s gaze with a genuine grin. “Mom really cares about you too.”

Danny chuckled softly. “I know she does.”

“You love her?”

Danny’s smile turned softer. “With all I have.”

“… what’s it like? To be loved?”

There was no true way to properly convey his befuddlement. He never imagined he’d have this kind of conversation with anyone, let alone the kid he was looking after. It was a complicated topic depending on the person… and not everyone understood the gravity of it. Knew what it meant. Knew how powerful it could be.

So, with that in mind, Danny leaned back in his chair with a puff of air escaping him. “Sheesh… how do I explain? It’s… freeing, I guess. When ya find th’ person or people that accept all o’ who ya are as a human, mutant, yōkai, whatever… when ya find that connection with them, keep them close and never let them go… ya feel like th’ mystery of life is solved. It don’t gotta be romantic either. Platonic is th’ same. Bein’ loved by yer partner is one thing, but when a parent loves their kid…” the image of Katie hugging all her boys with one fell swoop of her arms, clutching them all tight, laughing as they returned the grand gesture instantly popped into his head. “They’ll die for them if it means they’re gonna be okay.”

Leo turned as best he could to look at the yōkai, teary eyed with a small, hopeful grin. “You think… I’m… worth being loved?”

“Kid,” Danny gave him a reassuring nod. “You’ve got a helluva family that loves you more than anything already. You’re pretty damn lucky t’ have them.”

“… hey, Dan?” Leo chirped.

“Hm?”

“… is it weird if I say you’re more of a father figure than my real dad?”

In three seconds, his heart sputtered with an emotion he hadn’t known in ages.

Danny thought he’d heard it all. He’d had all kinds of labels thrown at him over the decades. Freak. Animal. Thug. Hoodlum. Monster. Bastard… failure. His entire life he never thought he’d be the one to get out. Get away from his past. Clean the slate, stare anew, make something of himself. Hell, he never dreamed he would be in a place where a woman loved him, where her tsudo-kids accepted him, where he belonged in this ragtag group of people. Ever since he’d left Mama’s gang he thought there’d be nothing else for him out there. Nothing but cheap booze, a circus or a pauper’s grave.

But this…?

This, here, where this kid needed a stable father-figure in his life after his own let him down?

After he’d been hurt so often that he didn’t HAVE that kind of support?

… what kind of a man would he be if he were to repeat his old man’s mistake?

“No.” Came his steadfast response. He prayed Leo couldn’t hear how thick with tears his voice was. “No it ain’t.”

Behind him Leo went still, sobs trickling into a gentle rhythm of breathing. Despite growing quiet the slider seemed more at ease. Settled. Calm. Then his hand grabbed onto his fingers, holding on for dear life. “Thanks,” Leo murmured in the darkness. “For everything.”

His fingers gripped the mutant’s in return. Eyes burned with heavy tears that didn’t fall quite yet. “You’re welcome,” Danny swallowed down a sob. Clearing his throat the yōkai murmured back the the teen, “Try getting some sleep, ‘kay? Yer Mom will be here soon. I promise.”

Leo seemed more than happy to do so. He couldn’t get comfortable in the chair, neither of them could, but he did his best to stay upright enough to prevent his neck from cramping. “Can do,” the teen yawned. As he began to doze off Leo looked over his shoulder to the best of his ability, catching the subtle shake of Danny’s arms. With one more squeeze to the rat’s hand, the slider whispered something Danny would never forget.

“… thanks, Dad.”

**********************

A furious shout was what woke the two an hour later.

As sleep finally claimed the weakening barriers of his psyche it was robbed of him just as quickly. Jolted out of their stupor by the unexpected noise Danny was alert instantly, eyes darting for their prison door as it was swung open just as heavily, striking the wall with unforgiving force. Hun stood in the doorway to greet them, Leo’s phone clutched in one meaty fist, but the way he was holding it suggested he was making a call. There was a female voice screaming at him on the speaker.

It didn’t take a genius to know WHO was on the other end of that phone.

But his heart still skipped all the same, her name falling from his lips in one subtle breath. “Kathrine.”

“Guess who decided to give me a call and wake me up at three in the morning?” Hun grumbled, holding the phone ten inches away from his head as it started piercing his eardrum. “I didn’t know your bitch was so frustrating to deal with.”

Danny held his tongue. Perhaps Hun didn’t realize the opportunity that presented itself to the two of them— he hoped he was stupid enough to miss it. But Leo wasn’t. Thank the lord he was just as clever as his mother. One slight look over his shoulder— one undisguised glimmer of hope caught in the slider’s eyes— and he knew Leo understood.

A plan.

Giving Leo an approving nod the teen smirked— mischievous, sly, all the makings of the spitfire rebel— before he reeled it back and replaced his bravado with a timid expression, appearing meek and nervous in the presence of the gang leader. “C-Can I talk to my Mom?”

Using the quivering voice approach, nice touch, Danny internally applauded.

Hun glared at the prisoner, annoyance in his gaze. “And why should I let you?”

“Cuz… I miss her,” Leo shrank in his bonds, sounding pitiful. “And… and I wanna talk to her. To my brothers. Please…?”

Danny didn’t miss how the boy still latched tight to his fingers behind him, trembling, the mask an unsung truth behind their scheme. But as he had done before the yōkai gripped his hand back to convey his confidence in the kid.

Ya got this.

Hun cocked a brow in bewilderment. The screaming on the phone only grew louder to the point Danny could almost hear the distinct sound of Spanish cuss words being slung at the criminal. He was grateful Leo couldn’t grasp a majority of the language yet, because the words that came out of that woman’s mouth almost made him turn scarlet. Damn, Kat, ya really were raised in New York.

When Hun wouldn’t budge, Danny decided to give the kid some backup. “His mother’s probably worried sick ‘bout him. Ya really can’t let her hear his voice t’ give him peace of mind?”

Leo’s hand squeezed his in gratitude.

Weighing the phone in his palm, frowning deeper the more Katie’s screams pitched into the air, the brute groaned angrily. Holding the device up, Hun gave the two of them a cautionary hiss. “Don’t even THINK about trying to warn her,” he whispered through grit teeth amidst the screaming rage of Kathrine. “You do, you die.”

Hun placed Leo’s phone on his leg— Danny had to wager a guess, he still couldn’t get a clear view over his shoulder. But it didn’t stop Katie’s verbal rampage from rushing through the phone in a tirade of oral vengeance.

“—Maldito hijo de PUTA! Cuando te ponga las manos encima, te romperé las rodillas y te romperé el cráneo—!”

“Mom…?” Leo chirped.

The screaming ceased outright.

There was a pregnant pause.

“Leo?” Katie asked, voice above a whisper.

Leo went stiff. Danny could barely see Leo’s expression, but he saw the way the poor kid’s eyes started to go glossy. “Mom,” he swallowed. “Mom it’s me.”

Any semblance of hesitation was shattered as the woman reacted. “Leonardo!” Katie gasped, sounding close to tears. She fought to control herself— he could almost feel the unbridled relief coming through the phone. “¿Mi hijo? Cariño, ¿estás bien?”

“Si,” Leo confirmed with a tremor in his voice, struggling to keep his composure. “Si. I’m fine. I’m okay,” he sniffed. “I’m so sorry, I was such an idiot, I never should’ve run away—“

“Leonardo, honey, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I’m just… I’m so glad to hear your voice,” Katie soothed him with ease. Danny was amazed by how gentle and comforting she sounded, how effortlessly she managed to keep the teen calm despite her own anxiety skyrocketing. “I’m here. I’m here, hon, I’m right here.”

Any kind of restraint the turtle showed previously went out the window the moment his mother’s consoling words reached him. Leo’s hands shook under Danny’s as the tears finally prickled his eyes. “You’re alright,” the man assured in a whisper. “Take your time, keep talking.”

Leo’s hands squeezed his hands so hard he felt the bones crackle. But, encouraged, Leo continued. “A-Are you okay Mom?”

“I’m the last person you should be asking that to, sweetheart,” Katie reassured softly. “I’m fine.”

“Is… Donnie?”

“He’s okay too. We got his medicine. He’s still sick as a dog but he’s breathing steadier now.”

Leo breathed a massive sigh of relief, sagging into his chair. “Thank god!” He breathed. Danny couldn’t help but grin, an extra weight lifted from his shoulders. That was one good piece of news to know. “What about Raph? Mike, Case, Jay?”

“Everyone is okay. We’re safe,” Katie soothed. “Are you hurt?”

“Kinda,” Leo sheepishly answered. He chuckled afterwards to lighten the mood. “But that’s nothing new given my track record.”

“Oh honey…” Katie sounded heartbroken. “I’m so sorry.”

Leo gripped Danny’s hand tighter. “That makes two of us…”

“Bromista, where’s Danny? Is he with you?”

Danny’s heart started hurting. Hearing her say his name was like honey to his ears. It had been a mere three days but it felt like three months— how could such a small thing make him emotional? “Yeah. I’m here,” he called. There was movement as Hun took Leo’s phone and brought it over to Danny, only now the human turned the speaker off and put the devise on his shoulder, Danny cradling it there as he pressed it to his cheek. This was harder with his arms tied.

Suddenly his chest started hurting even more. This was ridiculous, he shouldn’t be so nervous to speak to her. But at the same time… would she be cross with him? Would she blame him for getting the both of them captured? What was going through her head?

“Daniel?”

… There it was. One moment, one isolated moment between the two of them, it was almost enough to render him a hopeless pile of flesh and bone.

“Daniel?” Katie tried again. “Hello? Danny?”

“… hi, Kathrine,” he sighed.

Only she knew how to get him misty eyed.

“Dios Mio,” Katie breathed— if she hadn’t started crying whilst talking to Leo, her voice shook and wavered dangerously close to teetering over the edge. “Daniel, holy shit…”

“Hey hey, it’s okay,” he shushed, blinking back his own tears. “Please don’t cry. If ya start crying then I’m gonna cry, Leo’s gonna start bawling; we’ll all be emotional messes.”

“Hey!” Leo blubbered through a wry laugh.

In his ear Katie actually snorted. “Jackass,” she whimpered.

“Good t’ know I can still make ya laugh,” Danny smirked under his breath.

“You always do…” she sounded like she was trying to collect herself. “You always do.” Taking deep, calming breaths to steady herself, Katie swallowed down what sounded like a sob. “You okay?”

“I’ll live. You?”

“I’m fine.” Katie sighed heavily. “Just… fuck, Amor, are you hurt?”

“Just th’ usual on my end. Leo’s…” his gaze swiftly flickered from Hun to gauge if he were paying attention to his conversation. “… pretty much okay. Just misses th’ hell outta you.”

Katie took another shaky breath. “I miss the both of you,” she said after a moment of pause. “If Casey’s info is as solid as he says then we’re close to finding you. You guys will be home by sundown.”

“I think that’s th’ best thing I’ve heard in days.” Danny smiled. He closed his eyes to collect himself, to breathe deep and center his focus solely on her voice, picturing her face in his mind clear as the sky. “Leo’s gonna be happy t’ hear that.”

“What’s Hun doing? Has he tried to hurt you? Has he hurt Leo?”

“Not too much. Just me.” Danny briefly looked at Hun— the man was glowering at the yōkai with a certain level of quiet unbridled anger that could rival Mama on a bad day. His face was stuck in a permanent sneer, his hands clenched into fists as though prepared to start pummeling him if he’d begun saying the wrong thing. Hun was chewing at the bit, probably hoping Danny slipped and spilled his ulterior motives just for the excuse to knock his teeth out. Being watched like a hawk made giving Kat the clues she needed near impossible.

But he knew how to improvise.

“… baby,” he muttered softly. “Ya remember those Spanish lessons ya gave me?”

“‘Course, but what…” Katie paused. Then, with a sudden realization, she hummed slyly. “You slick bastard.”

“Ya get me?”

“Yeah.” Katie affirmed. “Have a handle on it enough to give me some information?”

“Alto y claro,” Danny spoke in Spanish easily— the puzzled expression on Hun’s face almost made him laugh.

“How many of them are there?”

“Tal vez doce.”

“What kind of place are you in? Does it look new, old?”

“Un almacén lúgubre. Quizás reconstruido a partir de un negocio textil.”

Hum squinted, suspicious. “What’re you saying?” He hissed.

“He feed you?”

“Sólo uno vez.”

“Do you know what he’s going to do once I get there?”

“The hell are you saying?“ Hun snarled, louder. He stormed over to the yōkai and got close— inches away from his snout as he bared his teeth. “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?”

“I said yer a dumbass bitch with no taste,” Danny bluntly lied.

Thwack! Hum backhanded him hard across the mouth. The phone clattered to the floor.

“Hey!” Leo cried, struggling in his bonds at the sound. “Listen, jackass! You better leave him alone or I’ll—“

“Do what?” Hun challenged, cackling at the turtle. “Attack me? You can’t even lift a finger in your state!” With one hand he plucked the phone from the ground, turning the speaker back on to let Katie hear him. “All you muties are is a waste of resources and precious time! You pretend to be human so you can fit in! You’re not even normal enough to pull that off!” He circled the bound captives, a lion stalking his helpless prey. “Just pathetic excuses for fancy house pets that never learn their lesson.”

“Don’t talk to my son like that you ugly bastard! Leo, don’t listen to him—“

“Awww, what, you gonna start crying?” Hun put on a sing-song voice, taunting the poor kid behind him. Leo’s hands curled into fists beneath Danny’s hold, trembling terribly; signs of the steel-like resolve beginning to waver.

Danny looked over his shoulder to match Hun’s gaze, his expression shifting into a dark mask, baring bloodied teeth and showing off a set of fierce canines that appeared razor sharp under the dim light. His golden eyes glinted murderously, daring the bastard to test his patience. “They’re more human that you.”

“You think they’re human?” Hun sounded appalled. “These freaks are carnival sideshows! They’re monsters!” He gestured to the two prisoners with Leo’s phone. “They ain’t got a right to stick their noses in business that don’t concern them! The moment shit hits the fan, these things create more chaos! More problems! If it weren’t for them, we’d all be honky dory!”

“If it weren’t for these kids we’d all be fucking DEAD, moron!” Danny finally yelled. “Did ya all get selective amnesia?! Or did youse collectively get dropped on your heads?! They stopped an alien invasion! They saved thousands of people! They saved this city! I didn’t see YOU step up and fight back! They’re more human than all of you combined! THIS kid,” he nodded to the silent Leo. “Is th’ living example of bravery! Yer a sorry slab of skin that never contributed anything meaningful in yer life, so ya take it out on kids t’ make yourself feel better! Ya ain’t a real man— you’re a fanatical bully with a power trip kink!”

“HE’S AN ANIMAL!”

“HE’S A HERO, YOU FUCKING TWAT!”

Hun’s beady eyes looked as if they were turning red with rage. His hands twisted the cellphone furiously, thin lips curled into a maddening grimace. Good, let him get angry, let him focus his anger on him. Bide your time, maybe someone outside will hear the commotion and call the police.

“What?” He pressed his buttons again, trying to find a weakness. “Did I hurt th’ Big Bad Hun’s feelings? Guess ya ain’t as cutthroat as ya claimed t’ be.”

Hun put the phone down. The scumbag rounded on the yōkai, slowly reaching for something out of view behind him, his wider build making it hard to see what he was grabbing. “You’re gonna regret ever pissing me off.”

Danny blinked, dread rising. “Th’ fuck do y—“

CRACK!

Something hit him across the head.

Something hard, something metal. Heavy as bricks and being swung with the force of a battering ram. It happened so quickly he couldn’t see it.

His brain exploded with agony. Something in the side of his temple shattered, he was certain. Blood came flying out of his scalp and tangled into brown fur.

CRACK! It struck his back next, fracturing the bottom left of his ribs. His world fell sideways. Hun sent Danny toppling to the floor with a resounding crash, the chair crushing his bound arms underneath him with agonizing force. He couldn’t understand what happened to him.

“DAD!” Leo screamed.

“Leo?! DANNY?!” Katie exclaimed over the speaker.

Hun started kicking him in the depths of the stomach. He tried to curl into a ball to hide from the worst of the blows but they were unforgiving and brutal, coming one after the other. Stomping down hard on the chest and abdomen, as though he were trying to create as much internal bleeding as possible. Danny’s vision became a blur of distortion; everything warped and shifted off its axis, colors danced between a thin line of monotone. In the hands of the gang leader he held a long metal bar with a curved, sharp end. A crowbar? When did he bring—

CRACK! The next blow struck him on the collarbone, several more being delivered to his right eye. In mere moments it started swelling— Danny preyed he wouldn’t go blind. Blood erupted from his nostrils, clogging them, making it harder to take a breath without risk of choking. He could taste it in the back of his throat.

Katie was screeching at the top of her lungs venomously, chaotic static warping the high pitch of the phone on speaker. Leo sounded as if he were hyperventilating. The crowbar was brought down into Danny’s shoulder. The arm popped at the socket, dislocated. The next strike hit him square in the stomach. Then the knees. Then the clavicle. He grit his teeth painfully tight, trying not to give in to the anguish that ripped him in pieces. He sank his fangs into his tongue to in the point where he morbidly wondered if he was going to bite clean through and drown in his blood. Don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream DO NOT SCREAM.

“DAD, NO!” Leo sounded ten miles away despite sitting above him, fighting like wild in his bindings. “HUN, GET AWAY FROM HIM, IT’S ME YOU WANT!”

“Not so funny now, huh?” Hun huffed, kicking the rodent yōkai in the diaphragm. “NOT SO CLEVER NOW, AREN’T YOU?!”

Danny returned that visceral bark with his own matching glare. Through bated breath he worked out the words, “B-Be hhere… allll… we-eek…”

With a dismissive click of his tongue, the human sadist weighed the crowbar in his hand, tapping it methodically in the palm with slow, calculated motions. Danny’s blood slathered the thick metal, the curve of the tool drip, drip, dripping in tandem with his heartbeat to the dirty floor. The scenery was eerily familiar. “Such a pity you didn’t last as long as I’d hoped. Since you’re so eager to get a head start on the REAL fun, I’ll let you choose. What should I break first, rat?” Hun hummed casually in thought. “Your back? Your ribs? Your legs? Your arms? Or,” Hun pointed the long metal bar at Leo. “His shell?”

Danny had never known such a bloodcurdling rage. He’d never felt something so guttural, so primal, so inhuman that began to ebb its way throughout his torn veins. The kind of strength that overpowered him in that moment as Hun pointed the crowbar at the turtle was so fierce it would’ve been enough to give him the power to rip himself free. But being so bludgeoned and battered, his willpower would have to suffice. “D-Don’t… you… daaare… touch… m-myyy… son!”

Hun, splashed with dark red blood across his face and shirt, pushed him onto his aching back, a foot planted on his chest to keep him pinned. His eyes stung with hot, burning tears. “Still not catching on. You don’t get to make those decisions. I do. You’re nothing but a mindless animal that can talk back. And animals that start to misbehave deserve to be shown. Their. PLACE!”

Danny squinted against the haze of moisture that clung to his eyelashes, watching as Hun raised the crowbar over his head with a sickeningly masochistic grin.

It came down too fast.

C R A C K!

It struck the top of Danny’s tail near the base of his tailbone.

Bone crumbled beneath the skin like sand.

And Danny finally shrieked like there was no tomorrow.

The sounds he made were animalistic in nature. He writhed, broken tail thrashing and kicking in vain, arms yanking against the ropes tying him down, tearing into his wrists and turning them bloody, screaming every swear in a hodgepodge mix of Italian and Spanish, cursing these pigs for doing this to him, how dare they, how dare they—

“LEAVE MY DAD ALONE! PLEASE!” Leo pleaded, sobs hitching within his throat from afar. “DAD, GET UP!”

Hun tossed the crowbar aside, his horrific work done. It clanged against the ground near the wall farthest from Leo. “Got nothing else to say, rat?” Without hesitation— or mercy— he ground the heel of his shoe into Danny’s broken tail. It only served to make the yōkai scream louder.

“STAY AWAY FROM THEM!” Katie roared. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU, HUN! YOU HEAR ME!? YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD!”

“You want them?“ Hun shouted loud enough for Katie to hear him, barking out a disgraceful laugh. “Come get them! I’d more than happy to get rid of your precious pets!”

Danny’s heart pounded hard and fast in his ears. Blood roared like an ocean in his veins. Despite being beaten within an inch of his life, despite his hearing being spotty, he caught those words and hung on like a vice.

Hun was baiting her. He was anticipating her razor thin temper going off.

He was using Danny’s pain as ammo to fuel her fiery fury and catch her off guard.

Hun would have Katie and the kids within the hour.

Without regard for his safety any longer, Danny hollered at the top of his lungs. “KATHRINE! ¡NO VENGAS AQUÍ! ¡ES UNA EMBOSCADA! ¡TIENE CHICOS CON ARMAS ESPERANDO A TI Y A LOS NIÑOS! OBTENGA A LEO, OLVÍDATE DE MÍ—“

Hun kicked him with unforgiving force in the throat, cutting him off; the windpipe crushed under the blow he coughed out blood this time, splattering across the man’s foot. Blind with pain the yōkai thrashed against his bonds with a renewed fervor but it was no use. Nothing he tried worked. He was trapped.

Helpless.

Useless.

Weak.

Pathetic.

“Come to the Harrison Textile Warehouse by eight o’clock tonight!” Hun shouted. “And bring all your freaks with you! Otherwise, I’ll skin the rat alive and use his fur as a new lining for my coat! And I’ll turn the terrapin into a hood ornament!” Hun marched over to Leo’s phone, where Katie still screamed for the mammoth to stay away from the two, and crushed it beneath his foot.

The silence following the call’s end was deafening.

Danny lay on his back in the chair, choking on blood that became too thick in his throat, filling his mouth too fast. His body twitched and shuddered in anguish, his hands unable to tend to any of the fresh gashes or bruises. But through all the immeasurable turmoil his body was currently experiencing, Danny glared ruefully at the human with a kind of darkness he’d only felt once in his life— when Katie had been mutated by Draxum, when that crazed monster had put his hands on her. Spitting the blood from his mouth the yōkai shakily growled, “Y-You d-du-mb f-fuck… Sh-e’ll nnnnever… fall… fer yer… b-bull-shit…”

Hun scoffed. “Sounds like she’s already got the memo.” He crouched down to Danny’s level, hands painted red as they sat on his knees. “And you two are going to be SCREWED.”

Leo struggled with a vengeance, fighting desperately to break loose of his ropes, vivid tears streaming down the kid’s cheeks. The slider grit his teeth furiously with vile rage as he yelled at the human. “YOU’RE THE WHO’S GONNA BE SCREWED WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE! I’M GONNA TELEPORT YOUR SORRY ASS TO MARS FOR HURTING MY DAD!”

“I’d like to see you try.” Hun smirked cruelly. Reaching up to his ear he pressed a finger to it and gave a command. “Someone come drag these pests downstairs to set up for the woman’s arrival! We’re gonna be having a family reunion!”

Danny blinked slowly, thin lines of red trailing down the side of his face imitating a ghoulish tear. He weakly turned his head to look at Leo, who still fought the confines of the chair and shouted threats at Hun. The edges of his blurred vision were tinted with fog so much he worried he was starting to succumb to a probable concussion… that, or something far worse. Brain bleed? Hemorrhage? No, he couldn’t leave Leo behind, he couldn’t allow him to get hurt, he’d break his oath to Kat if he passed out now.

He stretched his neck upward, grinding his teeth in excruciating anguish when he attempted to move despite being bound. Nobody was going to lay a hand on that kid. Not if he could still breathe. Not if he could still fight back to some extent. He’d rather die first that let these bozos harm his boy. “��Eee-ooh…” he groaned in vain, straining his voice to try and reach the teen.

Leo froze, his face wrought with all types of emotions: panic, despair, terror, confusion. Every ounce of grief he’d had for the boy intensified once he noticed the kid weeping for his sake. “Dad…”

More blood gathered into his mouth. Gurgling the man spat it to the side to the best of his ability, head swimming with internal trauma. “M’… rrright… h-here…” he choked on the words, sputtering as air hitched into his lungs, struggling for the chance to breathe. “Nnnnott… go-goin’… nowhere…”

But something lurked out of the corner of his eye. Leo caught it. His eyes widened, struggling tenfold. “No, NO! D—“

Danny’s consciousness was robbed of him when the metal bar came down across the back of his head with the power to shatter bone…

And the world around him went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DANNY IS NOT HAVING FUN 😂😂😂

Don’t worry for long, cuz Katie is coming to save them! IN THE SECOND PART 😅😂

Stay tuned!!

@queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @figuringitoutasigoalong @goldenflowerdragon @lameboobah @wasted-and-ready

[persephoneflouwers]

Hey Angie, please excuse my rant in advance. This is not about 1D, this is about the US election. I’m American and I’m very very liberal- I think healthcare should be free and people should be housed and billionaires shouldn’t exist and of course I’m a massive feminist and we have this election happening in three days and I am truly ashamed and upset about it. Donald Trump is obviously not an option, I’m not even going to go into why. Everyone knows it. And Kamala has some good policies and I see eye to eye with her on a good amount of stuff (not everything). But I cannot support her stance on Israel which is that she will continue supporting them and in doing so, continue supporting and arming the Palestinian genocide. I feel like I am losing my mind because everyone is acting like it’s ok what Israel is doing and it’s NOT. They are committing the most egregious war crimes I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. But I can’t not vote. And voting for a 3rd party who has no chance of winning (the politics in this country are so fucked up) will only split what is probably going to be a close vote and could tip thr scales for Trump. How do I reconcile voting for someone who has better policies than the alternative but has one deeply upsetting policy that I truly feel I cannot support? I also can’t not vote, I won’t throw away my chance to vote. But I also can’t keep seeing mutilated corpses of innocent civilians that are a direct result of the US greed and involvement. Help!

I understand your frustration.

I also think that I would have no problem voting a third party. I’ve been voting for little parties for ages and to this day I can say I’ve never won an election. I don’t vote PD, which you would say is the Italian version of your dems. I have never voted them. Still, I don’t think my vote didn’t count.

This way of thinking looks a bit manipulative of the Democrats, if I’m honest. They use this mathematical approach to hold people back from voting another party. Masses make the difference, but the change is slow and won’t be happening in a season. Just taking into consideration a third party now seems a huge development. Maybe in 25/30 years, there won’t be THIS or THAT, but a strong third option too.

The thing is you shouldn’t vote to make the other party lose. You should vote because you believe in a political program and identity with their policies.

If all the people who say “voting for a third party will only split the votes” could actually vote for a third party, maybe the third party would have a chance of winning.

We all know Trump is dangerous, but is Harris winning safe?

[farfromstrange]

OKAY.

I’ve got something to share with you!!

So, you guys remember when I said that I had an idea for a new Michael Kinsella fic a while back?

Well, whatever you think you’re about to read, this little news of mine is different, I assure you. But go ahead and read anyway if you find enjoyment in my writing regardless of fandom.

So: As it turns out, the idea I had was way too complex for a fanfic. I carried it around with me for a while, started writing down ideas and that’s when it all took a turn.

Writing for Kin these past few months kind of challenged me to broaden my horizons from the action and supernatural elements I put into my Matt fics, and while I love writing that side of fanfiction, it was also fun to explore something more human.

I’ve been writing pretty dark stuff from the beginning, and as you know I also write a lot of porn. I love dark romance books, I love angst and I love morally grey characters.

My first ever original book idea was also fantasy, and while I’ve spent months planning that one, I never got around to writing it.

HOWEVER!!

When I started writing Butterfly Effect, it sent a stone rolling, and then Chaos Theory happened, and it helped me explore other areas of fiction. I was afraid of diving into Kin, but I did it and it was the best choice I could have made.

The amount of planning I put into the story so far is surreal. The feedback I keep getting makes me feel so appreciated, and I’ve realized that building and writing for morally grey and damaged characters is what I do best. In all genres, really.

While writing this series, I noticed how much easier it is to shape characters when they don’t have any special powers. Like, it is so much easier when they’re just psychologically complex people, and I bow down to everyone who has no problem creating superpowers for their characters because it always takes me so long to get it all planned out. That is a superpower in itself. And while I love it, exploring this new side of my writing is very, very exciting, and I can just write very human humans if that makes sense to you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing for Matt and I love working on Foreigner’s God, but writing something about a bunch of normal human beings gave me a joy I had been lacking before. And it makes it so much easier to write.

Don’t worry, I am not switching things up or anything. But I have something else to tell you that directly connects to Kin and Charlie Cox, really, because without him, I would have never gotten back into writing, I would have never started doing Tumblr and AO3, and I would have never watched Kin.

This Mikey fic transitioned into an original idea, and I am so excited right now because I have officially started my first original story!!

I have it all planned out, and while I am still working on the characters, the profiles are slowly coming together as I write. And I owe it all to the Daredevil fandom being obsessed with Kin and me jumping into it for Charlie. Thanks to you all and our shared love for Charlie and his impeccable acting, I think I might have found my niche.

I know you came here for the fanfiction and I will continue writing it as normal, but I was so stressed the past weeks, I had to channel my emotions into something and that’s kind of what brought this to life. I needed an escape. I just wanted you all to be the first ones to find out because you have all been so supportive and I couldn’t wait telling you that I’m starting to put something of my own together.

I was also inspired by that one interview Charlie did for Kin where he said he had no idea that organized crime in Ireland was such a problem, and I did some research into it because I had no idea either, and that shit is scary. I was always like ‘omg the Italian mafia is the only one we always hear about in books’ and stuff like that, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone mention the Irish mob before, so I was surprised, but also intrigued because if we romanticize the Italian mafia in fiction so much, why not the Irish one?

Yeah, you can tell what the story is inspired by if you have watched Kin. And you can tell by the name I used for my main character that Daredevil will always have a special place in my heart (but also because I love the name Matthew, don’t attack me).

AND I took some inspiration from all the fics I wrote, especially when it comes to the names of my characters because I’ve already created OC’s, why not steal some of their traits? They deserve their time to shine. They’re a piece of me, after all. They’re all variants.

So, for those who are interested:

The book I’m working on is Dark Romance. It’s like Kin meets Killing Eve meets Taylor Swift’s Reputation.

The trope: Enemies to lovers.

Title: Checkmate.

It’s not written in stone yet, so just read it for fun or don’t read it at all; I’m just so proud of myself right now. Who knows if this will ever see the light of day, but I share everything with you all already, so maybe you DO care. I don’t know. I’m bad at this.

Basically, it’s ‘mob boss meets female assassin tasked to kill him, but she can’t kill him’. And they’re all morally grey.

I’ve written a little description for myself. It isn’t the official blurb because I want to finish the story first, but to give you a little insight, this is my idea so far:

“Checkmate occurs when a king is placed in check and has no legal ways to escape. That's the law of chess.

In a world of high-stakes assassinations, an assassin dubbed The King reigns supreme. However, unlike popular opinion, The King is not a man, she's a woman, and she is more dangerous than any man could ever be.

Recruited from prison and ruthlessly trained by the Four-Thirty-Two, a lethal organization that has turned contract killing into a lucrative business, she takes only one type of job – eliminating men she deems monsters.

Her next target: Matthew Callahan, a reputed figure in the Irish mafia.

As she delves deeper into Matthew's life though, the man she thought was a heartless criminal shows a side that challenges everything she's believed. Secrets unfold, and a conspiracy emerges, intertwining their fates in a way neither of them saw coming.

It soon becomes clear that she is capable of many things, but she can't kill Matthew Callahan, and she definitely can't stay away from him either. He draws her in like a moth to a flame, and she is highly susceptible to the pleasure of desire. But there is something else about him that she can't shake.

She can't kill him, that much she knows, but is she capable of loving something other than the thrill of the kill?

In a deadly game of cat and mouse, life and death blur, and she must decide where her loyalties truly lie.

A king can't checkmate another king unless there are too many kings on the board. And once the king finds his queen, there is nothing they wouldn't do for each other, even if it means burning the world down together.”

(The assassin organization has a hierarchy based on a chess board’s hierarchy, by the way, that’s why the story is titled the way it is AND that’s why the organization is called the way it is)

I feel like I just wrote an essay and I am afraid of the teacher’s feedback. But yeah, this is what I have so far and I’ve also started writing, but I’m not gonna share that just yet because it’s still in the works.

I think I’m 10k words in so far.

I just had to share this with you because ever since I started writing at like ten years old, my biggest dream was to be able to write my own books one day. I never felt like I had enough ideas, so I took on fanfiction, and that’s when I realized that I CAN build stories and have people like them, and that there might be hope for me after all.

I’ve been waiting for an idea to come around for a while, and the other book I have planned never made it out of the notebook. Doesn’t mean I won’t write it, but somehow this is easier. It really came to me in a dirty ass hotel room before the Harry Styles concert, and it started out as a fic idea. Look how far I’ve come since May.

CRAZY.

If you do want to read a snippet, let me know. Or not. I don’t know. I’m kinda shaking in my boots. It’s just an idea, and it might still change. God, I’m too nervous sharing this. It’s like a heart attack.

Anyway, thanks for staying with me, I gotta get back to packing for my move in five weeks now 🏃🏼‍♀️ (not at all running away in fear or anything nooo)

Bonus:

Possible book cover made by me. Will be edited once the official blurb is finished. (Yes, I do have Photoshop, I’m just very self-critical and barely show anything I make lol)

(The code at the bottom isn’t real. I just put it there so I can see if it would fit)

Okay, that’s it. Bye!

*excitedly runs out of here*

[hot-take-tournament]

it's finally time to close the book on this

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT:

SHOWDOWN AT HIGH NOON (#15)

Submissions 8, 24, 28, 33, 88, 98, 213, 261, 272, 280

IS PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA GOOD?

[ALL PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT]

Then we never have to talk about this again.

Pre-preliminaries will be used to determine what qualifies as a hot take. Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure! (exposure like when your exposed to deadly radiation)

YES:

(24)

Pinapple [sic] belongs on pizza.

There are many dishes that mix sweet and savory. Cheese and fruit as found on charcuterie boards is a prime example. What else mixes fruit and cheese? That’s right. Pineapple pizza. The salty savoriness of the cheese blends perfectly with the cooked pineapple, which is less tart than raw fruit. Add bacon, canadian bacon, or chicken for extra deliciousness. You either like pineapple on pizza or you’re a coward.

(28)

Pineapple on pizza is not only good, it’s the best pizza topping there is

Sweet and savory is a godly flavor combo. It hits all the notes at once. It provides the acid and the sweetness to an otherwise very heavy dish

(33)

Adding to the last one I sent [about milk before cereal], "pineapple does not belong on pizza" people are also annoying as fuck

I don't even like pineapple but it's the only pizza my best friend will tolerate and I'm tired of people calling her a freak for it

(98)

Pineapple on pizza is fine.

I work in a pizza place & have to see absolutely fucking horrific monstrosities that people call pizza. Here’s a list of things worse than pineapple that I’ve seen on pizza: any topping that people ask for “extra extra” of (like mushrooms or spinach), fish, nacho cheese sauce, & a mix of beans and salsa

(213)

Pineapple on pizza is fine.

It's not mana from heaven or anything but it's not bad either. The flavors balance out pretty well.

(261)

PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA IS AMAZING!!!

it tastes good and pepperoni fans are just mean to us pineapple on pizza likers.

YES, but –

(272)

i like pineapple on pizza. the ham is the problem

listen i can do meat on pizza. but ham AND pineapple? no. something about that feels unholy. so i pick off the ham so i can enjoy my pineapple pizza. also i am allergic to pineapple. but we persevere

(280)

pineapple pizza is good in america

the sweet and savory combination is just… ough. but most native italian people don’t like the idea of pineapple pizza. why? the answer comes in the difference in tomatoes in italy and the united states. in america, tomatoes are very sour and savory, so pineapple can really do a pizza some favors. however, italian tomatoes, while still savory and tart, are very sweet. putting pineapple on an italian pizza would just be redundant.

(8)

I think people need to stop being so angry about Pineapple on Pizza. Weather [sic] you like it or not isn't a big deal

If we're supposed to 'respect other's opinions' then why do pizza toppings need to start a war? It's really pointless.

(oh... um... sorry dude. guess i'm not helping, am i)

NO:

(88)

pineapple on pizza should be outlawed

disgusting. crime against perfectly good pizza.

i’m RIGHT., i will FIGHT YOU, 🍍+🍕= 🚮

(266)

Pineapple should not be on pizza.

Fruit allergiers, particularly pineapple allergies, are steadily on the rise and this topping will legit kill someone if there's not at least some proper storage.

I work in a pizza place, and have been working with pizza for years. There is NO proper storage for pineapple at most pizza places. It comes from a can and the juice gets on every surface. Same with 90% of other toppings.

If you have a friend who is allergic to pineapple, do not recommend pizza for dinner during hang outs. Opt for anything else.

Pineapple should not be on pizza. The hell fruit should stay out of pizza kitchens.

[majesticuser]

His light

Yandere!Mafia!MOC x FMC

Synopsis: One of the fishes in the pond of Cornell University was Lynn Wan. A hardworking girl attending her dream college, pursing a career she’s passionate in, and living the normal college life. Everything was going great as she was lucky to be perfect in all aspects - looks, grades, achievements and money. How ever stunning it may sound, this didn’t make her the most stunning fish of all - Cornell was full of people like her. But to the handsome William Huntley, she was THE star.

warning: tiny bit of stalking, soft yandere behaviour.

Note: this is my first story I’ve ever posted and I’m kinda proud of it. FYI the writings in bold apart from the titles are William’s Dialogues and internal dialogues.

———————————————————————

William’s POV

It was the first week of spring, semester 1. His 4th and last year. You were like a little innocent doe. He found himself observing you from a far for weeks, using his friends as an excuse to see you read, talk to your friends or do your assignments. Your magnetic beauty drew him in - silky black hair and brown almond eyes that goes so well with your quiet and neat character - but most of all, when your clear beautiful face turned into a bright smile that radiated the golden retriever energy when conversing with your friends. He wanted to see more of that. It was all so innocent until the yearn became stronger and turned him into something else. He fantasised about having all of you and he is done looking from the outside, he needs you to be by his side no matter what. You are going to be his.

As son of a crime syndicate leader, he was granted a right hand man to be by his side at all cost. Michael has always been the heir’s bodyguard and right hand man when he came of age. He is to give up his life for the young master if ever needed and always serve him, even if it’s looking up on a silly college girl.

He knows where you live, what state you’re from, who your parents are, the high school you went to, your hometown your perfect gpa, your social media, your part time job bartending in a pub that he owns and your little side hustles - modelling and OnlyFans. He smiles mischievously.

__________________________________________

Lynn’s POV

“Hi” said a husky voice that sounds like he’s directly in front of me. Right I am, he is indeed in front of me. William Huntley, son of Alexander Huntley - businessman and investor. Just a typical nepo-baby from a typical old money father. Quiet, brooding and mysterious, I already know where he’s going with the way he’s staring. His face is mocking me, like he knows something I don’t.

“Hi” I said anyway to avoid gossip about my anti-social tendencies.

“Writing an article for the media assignment?”

I look up at him, intrigued “you’re in media too?” Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

“My friend is” he lied. Most of his friends major in business related subjects. Working in media is below them.

Never mind.

We continue to sit in silence while I consciously endure his hard stare, writing an article on an Italian tradition.

“So what’s your article about” he says, eyes not moving. I’m so close to getting up and go, but you don’t do that here in Cornell otherwise you’ll regret it.

“I’m writing about the Carnevale, it’s just around the corner, so I’m writing this for travellers to prepare if they go to Italy at this time” I say as casually as I can, ignoring his intimidating stare. Seriously what does he want?

“Well what a surprise since my grandparents are throwing a Carnevale next Saturday. My grandmother is Italian”

I feign a surprised look. There was nothing new about rich people throwing parties.

“Oh really where from if you don’t mind?”

“Sicily”

Definitely in the Mafia.

“That place is gorgeous, I went there to visit archaeological sites, the food was the best” Can’t say the same about Italians.

He knows.You were 15 visiting Selinunte and Valley of the Temples with your mum who is an Archaeologist.

“It is isn’t it? Why don’t you come to our Carnevale? You can take notes there?”

I perk up instantly. It’s not exactly a real Carnevale but the Huntleys will sure get it close to one or maybe even better. It’ll be an advantage to really experience it. Professor Laughlin would see your effort. It’ll be so much better than that small community Carnevale you were planning on attending.

“Are you serious”

Your eyes were wide like a doe, hopeful and surprise. So cute.

“Mmhm, you just have to be my date”

So that’s why. You were glad it wasn’t something else. But you couldn’t help but ask why you and not some other eligible date.

“But why? couldn’t you ask anyone else?”

“They’re all taken. Plus you caught my eye. Unless you don’t want to I can-“

“No. I’ll go I’ll be your date”

He internally smirk. You were so easy.

“Right, be ready at 6pm Friday next week”

He got up ready to leave.

“Wait you said Saturday”

“Got to catch a flight first”

My brows furrow

“Where?”

“Sicily where else?”

My jaw drop before I could give it the permission. He was walking away

“What about my address don’t you need it? And my contacts?”

“I already got everything”

“What? How”

He smiles a little mischievously, slowly walking towards you. Staring you down. Now you were scared. Bending down to grasp your jaws. You can’t comprehend anything anymore.

“You don’t wanna know Doe. We Sicilians Mafias have our own ways.”

I look up at him in horror, eyes wide. My excitement vanished as I realise what he is. Is this a threat?

He walked away nonchalantly like he didn’t just introduce himself as a Mafia member. Leaving me alone in the library, dumdfounded that I get to experience an event that costs 3 weeks of my pay, and horrified that I’m going to go with him.

To be continued

[artinandwritin]

Alright guys, I’ve got something to talk about cuz the dream I had last night reminded me of it and made me nostalgic for being a kid

When I was little, around 9-14-ish, I was really, really obsessed with this cute little book series written by the Geronimo Stilton author, the Chronicles of the Kingdom of Fantasy, and as you guys know, I’m very Dutch, so I read all of the books plus the sequel series in Dutch. And let me tell you, it shaped so much of my early teenage years personality and my love for fantasy and I never even dared to talk about that part of my life cuz it seemed “cringe”.

I’ll give a summary of the series here, cuz I don’t really think any of my followers have read it due to it not being translated to their language or just... not knowing it existed.

The Chronicles of the Kingdom of Fantasy (de Kronieken van Fantasia in Dutch and Cronache del Regno Della Fantasia in its original language, which is Italian) is a sweet, Lord of the Rings-escue series about a young elf, Ombroso (which is his Italian name, he’s called Saturno in the Dutch version), a 15-year-old refugee from the Land of the Woodelves who had been stranded in the Land of the Star-elves when he was just four years old after a devastating war in his own country. He has grown up as the adoptive son of astrologist Eridanus, who himself had two kids with his now-deceased wife, Mizram - currently 16-year-old Regulus and 13-year-old Spica.

In an effort to save his people and find the birth parents he can’t remember, Ombroso, after receiving a few items from Eridanus which had been stowed away for years until the boy was ready, travels into the Land of the Woodelves through a magical gate linking the two countries together (it’s a whole thing), taking Regulus with him cuz the power of bros is vast enough to do anything. Spica wanted to come, but apparently misogyny is still a thing in this medieval fantasy kingdom (and she’s. literally 13), so the boys leave her at home.

Pretty scarring shenanigans ensue, Ombroso and Reg find the Land of the Woodelves rotten, overtaken by evil creatures serving the Queen of Witches, who, unbeknownst to them, is currently trying to overtake the entire Kingdom of Fantasy. Ombroso learns his mother, Acacia, died while giving birth to him and his father, a mysterious man named Cuortenace (Sterkhart in Dutch, I honestly don’t know if they reveal his past right away in the first book. Every detail from this has melted together in my brain), hasn’t been seen for years. Few think he’s actually still alive. Ombroso also learns (or remembers, I don’t know) his real name is Audace (Dappart in Dutch) and that the name he usually goes by is just a nickname.

The boys meet Robinia, the former princess of the Woodelves whose older brother had actually sold her and her people to the Queen of Witches for a reason I can’t remember. Probably cuz of money or power. She’s 14 years old and really salty her people are suffering, so she doesn’t really like Ombroso and Regulus, but eventually warms up to them.

In the meantime, Spica also does shenanigans. She does a dreamily lovesick dreaming about Ombroso cuz she like-likes him and decides to go against his wishes and help him, cuz he’s totally lost without her. Girlboss, I actually looked up to Spica so much as a kid. Now I just think, “who let a 13 year old kid do war crimes???”.

She meets Stellarius, a grumpy old Gandalf-y wizard who goes by many names. He had actually come for Ombroso, to guide him through his journey, but takes one look at this kid and decides she probably has more braincells than a 15-year-old boy he’s never met before, so he decides she’ll come with him to the Land of the Woodelves to assist Ombroso in his hero’s journey. He informs her that, before they can go, they first need to do their own little thing and defeat the evil bats that have come through the magical gate into the Land of the Star elves - he enchants Spica’s bow and they go do the murder of bats.

I honestly don’t really... remember what happens next. I know Ombroso gets an enchanted sword and finds out about a prophesy in which a Sword, a Bow, a Goose and a Dragon would defeat the Evil Witch and do things, which is super obvious to everyone, even the main characters. He also meets a Hunter, who calls himself Hunter, cuz he’s a Hunter. I don’t think he’s really that creative as we meet him again later and he changes his name to Knight, cuz he’s... a Knight. Um. Yeah.

Ombroso nearly dies at some point, but don’t worry, he does that a lot. He and his new and old friends get the Land of Woodelves back and Ombroso and Spica, reunited and all, decide to fulfill the prophecy and journey through the realms to find a magic Goose and a Dragon to complete the quartet and defeat the Queen of Witches. Regulus and Robinia join them, same with Stellarius and Robinia’s little pet dragon(?), whose name I unfortunately forgot.

They travel to the kingdom of dwarfs through another magical gate in the second book, where they do a liberation of the people and need to find the next magical gate. Also, Ombroso had this really hot moment in this book which was kinda Little Mona’s first introduction to dominant fictional characters ever, which, um. Yeah. You see where I’m going with this. They also find the Goose in this one, a dwarf girl named Favilla (Spranka in Dutch) who got enchanted into a goose after escaping the Queen of Witches, who thought she was to bring her doom because of another prophesy. They take her with them through the gate!

In the third book, they go to a sorta swamp realm, which isn’t really fun for anyone. This one is my favorite, but apparently I don’t own the book, which absolutely sucks. They also get seperated from Stellarius in this one and for the first time ever, the teens have to rely on themselves. This one has a lot of inner conflict and some character development, mainly for Ombroso and Spica, and completes the prophecy quartet in the form on Codamozza (Halvestaart in Dutch, which means Half-Tail), a locked up Dragon Ombroso frees and befriends. At the end, Spica, Regulus, and Robinia get captured by the evil minions of the Queen of Witches and brought to her, seperating them from from Ombroso, Codamozza and Favilla. I don’t remember what Stellarius is doing, ngl.

The fourth book features the wrap up of the series, in which the prophecy comes to life and this part of the adventure ends. Spica, who is a storyteller and inspires herself and the other captured creatures in the Land of the Witches, gets taken before the Queen and drugged (um, yeah, they drug a 13-year-old. It gets really dark in this part) for them to tell them her stories, I don’t remember why. Robinia and Regulus lead a rebellion and meet up with the Hunter/the Knight and Stellarius, while Ombroso and Favilla go into the castle, where they reunite with Spica (who had been saved by a mysterious woman named Anguilla (Aaltje in Dutch), who Favilla had grown up with and lost contact with. She’s distant, however, and only interested in taking the Queen down.

In the final battle the Hunter/the Knight steps into the scene, breaking into the throneroom through the glass window on Codamozza’s back. He reveals himself to be a Knight of the Old Order of Knights of the Rose and Ombroso’s long lost father, Cuortenace. However, he sacrifices himself to save Spica and gets turned to stone by the Queen.

I don’t remember how, but the quartet defeats the Queen in one last effort to succeed. The kingdom celebrates and Ombroso, upset about the loss of his father, asks the Fairy Queen, the one who had chosen him to defeat the Queen of Witches so many years ago, his patron, to please turn him back to flesh and blood. The Fairy Queen doesn’t have that power however, and tells him he has to go to his father’s place of origin, the abandoned Island of the Knights, to restore it in its honor and place its crest back in its right place. Only then, his father and all the other people who had been turned to stone on the Island itself (cuz that happened but I totally forgot about it) would return to their former selves.

This brings us to the last two books of the series, 5 and 6, which shows how Ombroso, Spica and Codamozza, one year after the events of the final book, travel to the Island of the Knights and restore it in its former glory. It’s a bit weaker than the first four books, but it wraps the series up well enough so almost no loose ends are left around.

It does have a sequel series made up of four books, in which a new set of characters, who are the next generation of Knights from the new order Ombroso had build after the events of the first series. We see some small snippets of the old characters, who are around ten to fifteen years older than they were in the original, but it doesn’t tell us much about what happened to them except from what type of job they did. It’s a fun series, but I really would’ve preferred the older characters to be a bit more inserted into the plot.

As I said before, I read this series as a kid, from when I was around 9, up until I was around 14. The first book had been published in 2008, when I was 5, which - holy shit. That’s 15 years ago. This book is old. I mean, no wonder it meant so much to me as a kid. By the time I had started reading them, the final one had just been released and it was one of my first introductions into my beloved fantasy-hero’s journey type of story.

Ombroso was a great hero for something like this and kinda defied the odds of the usual “chosen ones” in other media. He was a bit broody, shy, couldn’t act well around people for a good portion of his life, and moody, so, so moody. His nickname by the Star Elves had been chosen because he just. Refused to smile as a kid. And it just concerned the other elves he lived with. He had his badass moments, really, and his personality made for a great dynamic with the siblings Regulus and Spica. They were so bubbly, so friendly, and while Ombroso wasn’t actively the voice of reason between them, he was the one who strutted behind them with his hands in his pockets and head in the clouds.

Regulus was more of a voice of reason, in typical older brother behaviour. He and Ombroso had this really sweet understanding with each other, and Ombroso viewed him more as a sibling, while viewing Spica as more of a friend, despite growing up with her. The three of them got along so well and looking back on it as an adult, I just feel so protective over these three. They’re so dear to my heart, partly due to them being so young and due to them being the characters who I’ve literally aged out of after having had them be older than me for years. They go through so much and honestly, if this series had been marketed differently, it would’ve passed as a YA-fantasy series. Don’t tell me I’m wrong, cuz I know I’m not.

When I was a kid, Spica had always been my favorite character, with her being so spunky, a storyteller, and someone who actively stood up for themselves. She had a huge impact on my development as a young teen, but as I got older and reviewed the series having grown past her age, Regulus became much more dear to my heart. He was a bookworm, so, so friendly, if not a bit loud and outspoken, not having a great filter, and he just felt so... real. Like a real older brother, a real 16-17 year old finding his way in the world and growing away from his home, venturing out into the world. His character was always so grounded and as a more reserved older sister to a rambunctious twin brother, I felt so connected to that. Also, he’s a himbo. He’s such a himbo.

I’m not really gonna focus on Robinia, I didn’t really connect with her character a whole lot during the series as she was pushed into the background most often during the main series and just,,, completely cut out of the last books, save for a bit in the start and end of the fifth and sixth respectively.

However, what really kept me into this series, was the way my friends from that time reacted to it. Most of us were little girls with a little too much imagination, and my best friend at the time got just as obsessed with it as I did. We played out the books with playmobile figures, talked about everything in it, made original characters and thought about fanfictions we didn’t even know was fanfiction. We made an oc who was Ombroso and Spica’s daughter, gave them all families, fantasized about all the wacky things they would get into as adults. It was just fun, that’s all I can say about it. I’ve lost contact with that friend, we grew apart, but sometimes I see her give a like to my posts on instagram, which reminds me of the fun we used to have as kids.

When I went into middle school, I had another friend who was into the series. We wrote down fanfiction and I sometimes wrote stories on the playmobile plays me and my other friend had made a year prior. I made a full-fledged character out of the kid we gave Ombroso and Spica, whom I named Acacia. She was one heck of a fun character and I absolutely loved writing about her, her siblings, her love interest, and of course, her parents. In total, over the years, I wrote around 100,000 words of fanfiction for this series. These books shaped me so heavily, but as it was so unknown and the author behind Geronimo Stilton is known for their more... childish stories, I wasn’t taken seriously when I talked about it in school. I remember having done a presentation about the first book in my first year of middle school, totally enthusiastic, and hearing how the Dutch teacher had banned Geronimo Stilton books from being presented from the next year and on. I already was the “weird kid” in my class, ahead on the curve, having a bit too much knowledge for my little brain to contain.

Of course a little fantasy series about elves, dragons, a chosen one who was just as much of an outcast as I was and another character I aspired to be more like was gonna be my escape, but as the years passed and I grew up bit by bit, it felt... strange, to be so invested in something that everyone deemed so childish. At the tender age of 14, you do mostly what others expect of you - so I put the books down, stowed them away in a corner of my room where I still knew they were close and could grab onto them any minute, but still far away enough to not realize they were there.

And now I’m 19. It’s been ten years since I first picked up one of the books. They’re still in that little corner in my room and I feel like I’m finally in a place where I won’t be ashamed or embarrassed if I picked them up again. And really, what harm can it do? What harm can liking a book series made for kids really do me? All it can do, is bring me the joy it brought me when I was a kid myself and take me back to the time where I didn’t have college to worry about, where I had a more functional family, where I didn’t worry about who I would offend if I spoke too loudly or what my place in the world would be as a woman and an artist.

I’m at the point in my life where I no longer cringe at my former self and her interests; in fact, she was probably a lot bolder than me for liking something that was so dear to her heart so openly.

Maybe it’s time I start doing that again.

[ccthewriter]

CC's New Watch Ranking - April 2023

Every month on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 10 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, genre, and country of origin, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! This is a breakdown of those films.

April! An early heat wave broke and gave us the rainy, misty days that this month is supposed to contain. My vegetable garden is starting to take root. This is the first year I’m planting in earnest, prepping trays of seeds to make their way outside. I’ve been learning a lot, and keeping my eye on the backyard window as I’ve been settling in to watch these films. Plants like music - do they like film scores? Maybe I’ll take my speakers outside and find out. I bet they’d love Angelo Badalamenti, whose work is featured heavily in this month’s list. After a slow start due to several exciting new work opportunities (yay!), this month ended up containing some cinematic heavy-hitters! 

Click below to read the breakdown! Click HERE for the list on Letterboxd! 

10. The Hawks and the Sparrows 

1966 - Pier Paolo Pasolini

A delightful absurdist tale by one of Italy’s greatest directors. A father and son, whose attitude seems ripped right out of Waiting for Godot, wander a road with indeterminate purpose. Along they way they meet a philosophizing talking bird, and fall backwards in time to the life of St. Francis. Interspersed are some scenes of modern (1960s) Italian life, including the real funeral procession of a Communist leader. It’s a strange, lopsided work, perhaps not achieving the thought-provoking or artistic heights that the director intended, but contains some brilliant gems of absurdism. I’m particularly struck by several shots and discussions that focus on the Moon. You may know, reader, that I am obsessed with Fellini’s Voice of the Moon. That is an absurd, wandering meditation on the moon’s symbolism and power, and echoes of those ideas are found here, too. It gets me wondering about what Fellini and Pasolini shared, the experiences that united their thought, and got them to create such interesting, parallel pictures. 

9. For a Few Dollars More 

1965 - Sergio Leone

Impeccable craft. The platonic ideal of a Western that so many movies/other media try to grasp, but can never quite achieve. (Looking at you, Mando.) While The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly might be the ultimate piece in this trilogy, For A Few Dollars More still manages to hold all the compelling, subtle characterization and breathtaking conclusion that makes that capper so legendary. Two bounty hunters seek out a mad fugitive - they all double-cross one another in pursuit of victory. There’s just grand vibes within this thing. A legendary score, gorgeous shots, handsome sweaty men trying to kill each other (aka flirting), and other tiny design choices that are beyond iconic. What’s not to love? Toss this on with a bourbon, pardner, and watch them shoot a hat. 

8. Bitter Rice 

1949 - Giuseppe De Santis

What if we fought back against systems that oppress the workers of the rice fields AND we were both girls 👀. First and foremost watch this if you love wlw - there is some subtext that occurs between the main pair as they squabble. A jewel thief, coerced into crime by her shitty boyfriend, hides out among rice workers with her stolen goods. She meets Silvana, a peasant who catches onto their scheme and ultimately gets entangled in their lives. It feels like both the thieving pair lust after her. The politics of this one are messy, to say the least. Francesca, the thief, sides with some scabs who want to work the fields despite not being part of the union. Silvana organizes the workers against them, but ultimately they come to a patronizing compromise to let both sides work together. The film doesn’t care about the details that would make this labor struggle real - what does it take to join the union? Who organizes it? Do the members get to vote about how they feel about the scabs? Pulling those threads makes the movie collapse, along with the shoe-horned melodramatic ending for Silvana, which seems born out of an American Hayes Code sense of what must happen to a woman who "chooses wrong." Despite these elements, the film is shot beautifully by Otello Martelli, Fellini’s cinematographer, and contains one of the greatest framing devices for a neorealist film ever devised. A voice over telling you that what you’re about to see is the real testimony of rice workers, which diegetically shifts into a radio announcer present at the scene, is inspired. A film to yell at as you enjoy it. 

7. Touch of Evil 

1958 - Orson Welles

The film opens with a bomb being place in the boot of a car. Then there is an unbroken shot lasting about 5 minutes of that same car driving slowly through a crowded street. It is breathtaking tension building. Hitchcockian perfection. What follows is a surprisingly nuanced exploration of police corruption. These pigs live in paranoid fantasies sustained by evidence that they plant - hatred, ignorance, and alcohol let them forget that they created the justification for their hate themselves. This film drips with noir style and culminates in a chase scene that’s just as satisfying as the end of The Third Man. Who else understands noir like Welles? He gives a remarkable performance here. 

6. Inland Empire 

2006 - David Lynch

Lynch was doing creepypasta lo-fi found footage before it was cool. Seriously, watch this film and be surprised that this came out before Marble Hornets! Lynch’s first foray into digital filmmaking follows the story of actor Nikki Grace, played by the inimitable Laura Dern. (Consider her!) She is cast in a film that she later discovers is an adaptation, derived from a production that was shut down due to strange events happening to the cast. This grounded framing quickly dissolves into classic Lynchian surreality. The narrative is intersected by stories of 19th century Polish sex workers, modern day drifters, an unnamed woman who watches the film’s events on a TV screen, and more flashes of disconnected images than I could ever try to remember. Terry Crews is there for a few minutes. Lynch’s films defy simple explanation, as their very structure seems to repel logical attempts to define them. It is enough to say that this all builds into a moving tale of the exploitation built within the Hollywood machine. To be an actor, even with all the progress we’ve made, is to give yourself up to depersonalization, to completely vanish in the eyes of the viewer. Audiences want to see a self that is inside you, but is not you. You can get lost pulling on that thread. And there are dark figures who are only too happy to encourage you to get lost, who want to sit behind a camera and watch your selves separate, so they can bottle it up and sell it for massive, massive profit. Fascinating to see such a film come from Lynch, who by all accounts is a highly ethical filmmaker and whose crews (particularly Dern!) adore working with him. I think it takes a fundamentally good and kind person to truly understand evil - they must have the good grace to recognize what lives within them, what lives within all of us. 

(Also, these fucking rabbits terrify me in ways that I'm still understanding. I think I saw the short film Lynch made with them while I was under the influence of certain substances. They know what I'm thinking and will show up at my doorstep one midnight, I just know it.)

5. Lost Highway 

1997 - David Lynch

Whereas Inland Empire explores the loss of self that’s a feature (not a bug) of acting, Lost Highway explores a broader loss of self that can happen any time, anywhere, to anyone. Recapping the plot, again, seems a little pointless, but in brief, it’s about a jazz musician who appears to be stalked by a shapeshifting entity. As he tries to understand why he’s being targeted, he gets arrested for (apparently) murdering his wife - but while in jail, he mystically transforms into another person entirely. This new character lives an entirely separate life that eventually intersects with the original one in shocking ways. It’s all very cyclical, and vague, and contains a host of implications that are too broad to clearly explain. Lynch is the ultimate Oneric filmmaker in this way - the content of the dream is so different than the lasting impression it gives you. Towards the beginning of the movie the main character has this exchange: 

Fred: "I like to remember things my own way"

Cop: "What does that mean?"

Fred: "How I remember them, not necessarily how they happened"

That’s the ultimate explanation of how these films function. They are truly symbolic masses that pass through you, live inside you, and then transform into something greater than its sum ingredients. 

4. Bound 

1996 - The Wachowskis

So after dipping our toes into that Lynchian, vaguely defined dreamscape, here we have a much more straightforward film. What if the hottest most gorgeous most sapphic most jaw-droppingly sexy women imaginable did a crime together??? Wouldn’t that be cool?????? There really isn’t much in the way of symbolic nuance in this picture like there is in some of these other recommendations. This is just a straight-forward, tightly constructed crime thriller, starring (cannot emphasize this enough) just the biggest queerest icons you can imagine. I knew this movie would rewire me once I saw it, and am pleased to report that it really, really has. If you’re in the sapphic camp please check it out - it’s as required viewing as But I’m A Cheerleader is. Corky is a stone-butch ex-con who’s hired to renovate an apartment. She discovers that living next door is a mobster and his disaffected trophy girl Violet. Violet seduces Corky in the most noir femme fatale porn-adjacent way imaginable - quite literally “can you fix my pipes?” - and the two agree to pull one over on the mob so they can run off into the sunset. What follows is tightly constructed, steaming tension, as Hithcockian in perfection as Touch of Evil’s opening oner, but with a little more pulpy crass. Gays and theys, please, do not hesitate to watch this. It’s the film that let the Wachowskis make the Matrix, it is truly that spectacular. 

3. The Immortal Story 

1968 - Orson Welles

Welles is a master storyteller, a magician, a ponderous and monologuing baron of Art whose work is now embedded in the history of this medium. When he’s not playing himself, he’s playing corrupt, ignorant men. What do you think compels him to do that? He had the power and resources to play anyone he wants - why was this the role he chose? These questions will naturally rise up when you’re watching The Immortal Story, Welles’ last feature fiction that he would ever direct. It follows the story of a wealthy businessman who has a meeting with his assistant late one night. The businessman - this baron - reveals that he despises fiction, and only wishes to tell or hear things that are true, like data in a ledger. But then he reveals a story a sailor once told him, about a wealthy man who once paid the sailor to sleep with his wife and produce an heir. His assistant knows the story; he says this is a common folk tale, repeated in every port, on every ship, and that his master is incorrect in believing he heard it from the person it actually happened to. This sends the businessman on an obsessed journey - he commands his assistant to recreate this tale, to hire a courtesan, to find a poor sailor, and reconstruct this tale exactly as it was told to him, line-by-line, so that… well, the baron’s reasons for recreating this tale are obscure. Obsession? Stubbornness? A late-life spark of creativity? These questions intermingle with the first few I proposed. What impresses me so much about this film is that it is Welles clearly exploring his own creative drive, questioning all the motivations that have driven him to the life he has been leading for decades. It’s an incredible meditation from one of cinema’s greatest filmmakers. I firmly believe it sets the ground for the future explorations of truth and fiction that Welles accomplishes in F for Fake. How appropriate that this is the capstone towards his fiction-telling career. 

2. Mulholland Drive 

2001 - David Lynch

The perfect fusion, and appropriate mid-point, between Lost Highway and Inland Empire. Lynch explores the fundamentals of identity as two people try to discover who they are within the mad dreamscape that is Los Angeles. A woman stumbles out of a car crash into the home of a newly-arrived dreamer, ready to go on an adventure and help this woman restore her identity. Or, perhaps the real story is that a jealous actress clings to a more successful starlet, but gets her heart toyed with and torn to pieces as part of some power-tripping game. Lynch is a master of montage, assembling seemingly random moments into a cohesive whole that leaves a distinct emotional message. The competing, lopsided, cyclical narratives that make up this film are no exception. All the cutaways to different characters that intersect with the main pair’s lives are incredible, too. This is the Lynch film that most feels like it captures life itself. Its many contradictions and absurdities, its passion and revulsion. The highlight is the scene where the protagonists sit and watch an underground show. “It's all just a recording,” the performer repeats. This film is just a recording. Our lives will become a recording, once we’re gone and can only be remembered by artifacts. In this moment the movie seems to speak to the viewers directly, reminding them that everything they’re watching is false - and they’re allowed to let it transport them to other realms, anyway. 

1. The Music Room 

1958 - Satyajit Ray

One of the things I like most about movies from before, say, 1975, is that they don’t mind really lingering in a certain mood. Much of this movie shows a bored man, descended from royalty, lounging around his dilapidated palace. He hides from responsibility, debts, and truths he’d rather forget. But one doesn’t get bored watching him linger. Almost like a survivor in a horror movie hiding from a monster, Biswambhar is actively hiding, actively moping and avoiding the reality of his situation at any cost. It is a remarkable effect. Biswambhar’s only passion in life is live music, and his music room is his treasure. When his family meets a tragic turn of fate, he is left alone in his palace, situated on a flood plain that will eventually sweep away all his land. He decides to spend the rest of his life waiting for the day, living on ever-dwindling reserves of treasure and sherbet. Destiny seems to call to him at one point, and he decides to spend the rest of his reserve on one final, grand act, like in the good-old-days. He hires a musician, invites all his neighbors, and acts like he hasn’t been a reclusive hermit for several years. We understand him the most in this moment. The way he lights up, reopening the music room. The fantasy he embodies. As the musician plays, and we linger in the majesty of her dance and the hammering tabla, we are mesmerized just as he is. Cascades of meaning become clear. This man has sacrificed everything just for this moment, has given it all away to live inside a happy bubble, shunning the outside world… and can you blame him? How can anything life offers compare to the astral travel music can provide? If only he could have found a way to balance his obligations and this passion. Maybe if he had been a musician himself. But no. He can only watch… just as we, watching this movie, are now. Satyajit Ray is a director most capable of making the audience question itself, whose films seem to provoke deep thought and lingering wonder long after the work is over. This film might be the greatest example of that ability. As our own world changes in uncertain times, with an unclear future, a film like this forces us to question just what we’re doing consuming so much media. Like Biswambhar, I think many of us are turning a blind eye to environmental change so we can linger in the happiness of the music room, too. That’s the lesson to take away from this film. One can’t live their life waiting for that room to contain magic once again… 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you liked any of these thoughts feel free to follow me on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep meticulous track of every movie I watch. Look forward to more posts like these next month!