#feedee hoffman

[hoffstrap-yuri]

Primadonna Girl

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary:

“I haven’t said ‘I love you’ in almost twelve hours.” “What makes you say that now?” “Just… thinking about how I want to say I love you.” “I love you too.” Mark leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek. Strahm took his foot off the brake and looked into Hoffman’s eyes. “Pete?” “Let’s get married.” “Peter, are you crazy?” Hoffman laughed.

*Rating: +18 for Explicit Mature Content

*Tags/Content: Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Fluff, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Feeding Kink, Hand Feeding, Feeding, Alternate Universe, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Smut, Gratuitous Smut, PWP, Domestic

*Status: Chapter 1 of 2/Complete. Link to Chapter Two Here.

Author's Note: You voted, you got it! A request for @markhoffmanluster who wanted more feeding and more drag Hoffman. I could never refuse the two for Mark. Running that poll was really pretty fun, I'll have to do some more in the future. But here's a little sequel to the sequel of my Hoffstrahm fake dating AU, I hope you'll enjoy!

“I love you.” Strahm curled his hands around the ends of the wig that his partner wore for him. He pressed his lips onto his and kissed him. His hands shifted to his partner’s back, taking a hold of the thick love handles he loved so dearly. He needed to drink in every last bit of his being, needed to be one with his love.

“I love you too.” His love finally responded to him, biting down on the inside of Strahm’s lip. “I love you so much… You know your lips would look prettier wrapped around my dick.”

“Shut up.” Strahm replied sternly before cracking. He smiled like a dope at the object of his affection and ran his hand across his chest. He kissed the divot in Hoffman’s chest where his neck met with his torso and sucked

“I’m going to get looks at the precinct if you don’t move that stupid mouth of yours lower.” His hand glided through Strahm’s hair

“Wear a shirt that covers your tits.” Strahm’s lips hardly left the surface of Hoffman’s skin as he spoke. He dug his knee into the space between Hoffman’s legs while the other man grinded up into him. “I love…”

“Don’t say it again. You’re gonna wear it out.” Mark’s arms wrapped his arms around the back of his neck. Strahm lifted the wig up from off Hoffman’s head and kissed along the indent in his forehead.

“I need you.”

“Need me how?” Hoffman raised an eyebrow, “You can have me right now.”

“No I mean… I need your everything.”

“You’re not making any damn sense, babe.”

“That’s okay… it’ll make sense.” Strahm sat next to Hoffman and wrapped an arm around his back

“So you just turned me on for nothing?” Hoffman teased him, palming at Strahm’s crotch.

“I can take care of you…” Strahm sat up a little before being pushed back down by the tips of Hoffman’s fingers

“No, it’s fine.” Hoffman kissed him, “I’m fine.”

“Okay.” He nodded and lazily kissed his partner back. Hoffman rolled onto Strahm’s lap and looked into his eyes. “We need to go to bed.”

“Five more minutes.” Strahm grumbled, burying his head into the crook of Hoffman’s shoulder

“No.” Hoffman hauled himself up off Strahm’s lap then helped him up onto his feet. Strahm hadn’t realized how tired he was until he swayed as he stood and his eyes fluttered. Hoffman helped him to their bed and laid at his side. His fingers found their way through Mark’s hair and in turn Mark ran his hand over Strahm’s stomach.

“I love you…” Strahm whispered, his voice muffled by the pillow his head was rested against

“I love you too.” Hoffman rested his head against the taller man’s shoulder. Strahm’s arms looped around Hoffman’s stomach and he held onto him like the slightest crack in his touch would make Mark slip from his fingers. The light woke the special agent up in the morning and he lifted his head up to look for Hoffman. As if his partner read his mind, he appeared at the foot of their bed.

“Your turn.”

“Huh?”

“The shower. We have to go to work, Agent.”

“Yeah…”

“You seem distracted.” Hoffman’s hand crept up the inside of Strahm’s thigh

“Yeah, you have that effect on me.” Strahm shot back before getting up. He turned the water on but left it as cold as he could stand it, trying to kill the morning wood he had. He was going to do it. He was going to propose. His heart pounded in his chest as he thought about it. Would Mark tell him he’d gone to far with their ruse? That he went off the deep end? He had the ring at the ready, he had a dinner reservation for the weekend… Mark knocked on the door,

“C’mon, we’re going to hit traffic if you stay in there.”

“I didn’t say you had to stay.” Strahm bit back a little

“Who else was going to tell your spoiled ass to keep moving?” Strahm heard Hoffman step away from the door. He dabbed on some aftershave and stepped out into the bedroom. His clothes were lying neatly on the bed and he could smell Mark working the toaster in the kitchen. He hurried into the outfit and shuffled downstairs as fast as he could, picking his shoes up from the entryway to throw on while he waited for his toast. The pieces popped out, and Hoffman grabbed them before throwing it onto a plate. Strahm finished tying his shoes before taking a bite and pressing his lips onto his partner’s cheek. Rather than focus on the food, Peter’s arms found their way around Hoffman’s center.

“You’re even more affectionate than usual. Hurry up.”

“We don’t have to rush. Lindsey knows.”

“I know she knows.” Mark rolled his eyes, “She wouldn’t be a very good agent if it’s taken her five months to realize her previously frigid co-worker was dating their point of contact.”

“I…” Strahm tried to rebuttal but couldn’t come up with anything more than a slightly disappointed “Yeah” at himself. His arm tightened its grip around Hoffman while his hand slid up the other man’s chest and rested against his cheek. “Let’s go out this weekend.”

“Out or out?” Mark put emphasis on the latter option

“Like I want to see your fat ass in a tight dress.” His lips hovered over Hoffman’s neck before pulling back. If they touched now, Perez wouldn’t see the two for another business day.

“It’s a date then.” Hoffman’s thumb ghosted over his boyfriend’s lips. Strahm looked down at the appendage before applying the softest of kisses onto it. Ever the romantic, Mark brought his thumb up to his own mouth and connected their kiss. “Let’s get to work.”

---

“Hey Pete. We need to talk.” Perez said as soon as Strahm walked in to their make-shift office that wasn’t so make-shift anymore.

“And a ‘good morning’ to you too.” He replied, dragging his hand across his face. He hadn’t realized just how tired he still was back at Hoffman’s house. He wishes he had listened to Hoffman about hurrying up so he had time to grab coffee before coming in. “What is it?”

“It’s about Detective Hoffman.”

“Yes?”

“I know you’ve been dating him, but we haven’t had time to talk about it. Every time I’m like ‘hey you want to go and get coffee’ you reply with something about him.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m not hurt.” She shrugged, “I’m happy you’ve found someone willing to deal with your anal tendencies.”

“I don’t have anal tendencies.”

“Peter.” She looked at him with the look of a mother ready to scold her child

“What?” He asked before more exasperatedly asking, “What?”

“For one, you fixate on something someone says and use that to try and circumvent the issue at hand.”

“I do not do…” He paused as he had a moment of self-awareness. He chose to keep his mouth shut after that.

“Uh huh.” Lindsey grinned, basking in her smug satisfaction of being proven ever so right. “But really, how is it?”

“How’s what?” He responded after logging into the work computer, “You mean the sex or…”

“Ew. No.” She gagged, “No I mean how’s the relationship going? He treat you well?”

Strahm started with a sigh, “Well he treats me like an ATM.”

“And you just let him? Talk about whipped.” She laughed mostly to herself, “Is Peter Strahm in there? Mister ‘I’m not buying a second ring for my second wife’?”

“That’s different.” He protested

“Uh huh.” She replied before Strahm shoved his head onto the desk. He didn’t want to look Perez in the eyes as he pulled his box of shame out from his pocket. “Oh my god, are you two that serious and you didn’t tell me?”

“I’m that serious.”

“Then you don’t know how he feels? Peter, I love you, but this is just asking for divorce number three.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know…” He tucked the box back into his pants, hiding the growing red flush across his face.

“Just think about it a little bit. Okay?”

“Think about what?” Hoffman’s booming voice crackled behind the two FBI agents

“His coffee order. I’m running to Starbucks. You want anything?” Perez answered for her partner

“Flat white. Venti.” He replied. He closed the distance between himself and Strahm. He rested his hand along Strahm’s shoulder before saying, “You look dead tired. It’s a good thing Lindsey here cares about you.”

“Yeah, she’s got the patience of a saint for dealing with me.” Strahm grumbled, barely lifting his head up from his shame huddle.

“I do. What do you want, Pete?”

“Red eye’s fine.”

“Got it. I’ll be back. In the meantime, you can pour over those files I have on my desk.”

“Got it.” He replied, sliding his chair away from Hoffman and over to Lindsey’s work space. He stole a small stack and handed Hoffman a similar sized stack to sift through. She turned around and headed out to get their drinks. Hoffman flipped through a file before interrupting Strahm’s concentration.

“I do have a job, Agent.” Hoffman set the file folders down on Strahm’s desk, “I’m your liaison, sure, but I do have work for the police department to do as well.” His words were bitter, but his voice was cloyingly sweet.

“Then go do your job.” Strahm huffed, “Simple solution really.”

“I don’t want to. Not right now anyway.”

“Then don’t bitch to me about it.”

“Easy Agent.” His hand rested firmly on the center of Strahm’s chest before he started circling with his fingertips, “Wouldn’t want you popping a blood vessel in that pretty face of yours.”

“Did you come here to kiss me or just piss me off?” Strahm leaned against his desk

“If I said it was both?” Hoffman smirked

“I’d tell you to go fuck yourself. I have a job to do.” Strahm threw the words back at his partner. Despite the malice laced in the words, Mark knew that Peter was all bark and no bite. He leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek before turning away from him. Strahm pulled him back by his wrist for one quick proper kiss on the lips before letting Hoffman slink back to his bullpen. Strahm stared at the clock in the corner of the computer. Mark was eating at his mind. His touches, the way his mouth crinkled when he tried not to smile, the way he made looking like a woman attractive… he hated him with such passion it twisted itself into an intense, perverse love. There wasn’t anyone in the world that made Peter feel this way, he had the trail of divorce papers in his path to prove it. He knew that Mark Hoffman was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, it was just that simple to him. Lindsey came back with their drinks, dropping the red eye in front of Peter.

“How much work did you get done?”

“I flipped through a few files.” He replied, bringing the cup to his lips before taking a tentative sip. Thank god the coffee wasn’t scalding hot.

“Uh huh.” She looked the pile, “I guess three file folders over twenty minutes isn’t that bad. Let’s see if you actually retained any of that info though.” She reached over him and pulled up a document where they had been logging info for the case. She brought her arms back to her body and crossed them in front of her, waiting for Strahm to regurgitate anything. He sweated as he hit the keys for a quick ‘the’ before going back and deleting everything. ‘The victim’ and back. “You didn’t read anything.”

“No.” He sighed

“You were thinking about Hoffman?”

“Yeah.” He let out a pathetic croak

“You’re useless.” She smiled and took the folders back off Strahm’s desk and got into her own work for the day. At some point in the day, the special agent passed out. He woke up in the dead of night, Hoffman sitting across from him.

“Sleep well?”

“Yeah.” Strahm grumbled. He sat up and the suit jacket that was draped over his shoulders slid. He quickly grabbed it to prevent it from falling on the floor, knowing that Mark’s taste in menswear far exceeded Strahm’s wallet. He tucked himself back up into the larger garment, sniffing the collar to feel closer to his partner. Hoffman got up from Lindsey’s chair and came to wrap his arms in front of Strahm’s neck.

“I don’t normally get to see you sleep. You looked so peaceful not barking out orders.”

“I don’t bark out orders.”

“No, you just like dressing them up like dolls and fucking with them in hotel rooms.”

“Are we still talking about orders?”

“Maybe.” Hoffman’s lips curled up at the ends

“What time is it?”

“About 7:30. I’ve already called in an order at our Chinese place, I’ll go inside if you drive me there.”

“Okay, okay.” Strahm wiped the tired from his eyes and got into his car. He didn’t realize how warm he felt when he heard Hoffman call it ‘their’ restaurant. They had… a pattern, something tangible. Hoffman slid into the passenger seat and reached his hand over, letting it rest on Strahm’s lap. “I haven’t said ‘I love you’ in almost twelve hours.”

“What makes you say that now?”

“Just… thinking about how I want to say I love you.”

“I love you too.” Mark leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek. Strahm took his foot off the brake and looked into Hoffman’s eyes. “Pete?”

“Let’s get married.”

“Peter, are you crazy?” Hoffman laughed. Strahm didn’t know if this would be the end of everything if he kept going but he needed to get his feelings out there. He pulled the box from his pocket and presented it to Mark. “You are crazy.”

“This isn’t how I planned it…” He started to apologize, only to be quieted by Mark’s lips pressed onto his. His hands hovered over Hoffman’s back for a second before his partner pulled away.

“Put it on.”

“Okay.” Strahm fumbled a bit, pulling the ring from its holder and slipped it onto Hoffman’s finger. It was a simple band, but it looked so right on his finger.

“What was your plan, hm?” Hoffman couldn’t peel his eyes away from the ring

“I was going to take you to a nice restaurant and propose there.”

“Who’s saying we can’t still do that?” Hoffman shared a glance with Strahm. “Just take my ring back before we get in the restaurant, we propose and get a free dessert or something.”

“Okay.” Strahm had to laugh, the idea was so stupid, but he was willing to indulge. The two of them sat in silence for a moment before Strahm put his foot back on the brake and drove to the restaurant. Hoffman slid back out of the car as they arrived, his hand brushing over Strahm’s while Strahm put the car into park. He didn’t need to touch the agent’s hand like that, but he wanted to. He looked at his partner before going in and getting their food. Strahm waited, covering his face with his hand. He’d done it. Truly gone off the deep end. He prayed that Mark wasn’t gushing to the cashier about the ring right now as they had a spirited back and forth he could see from the car. Mark Strahm. Peter Hoffman? Mark Strahm-Hoffman… that could work, if Hoffman liked it that is. Mark came back with a slightly stained brown bag and collapsed into Strahm’s car.

“It smells so good.” He opened the bag up and stuck his whole head in.

“Don’t breathe all over my egg foo young.” Strahm gagged, pulling his head back by the roots of his hair. Hoffman bit his lip as the agent accidentally ended up slamming his head into the car headrest with more force than he intended. “Don’t tell me you’re getting turned on right now?”

“I don’t know. Something about it is hotter when I can call you my fiance.”

“Fiance?” Peter repeated the word with a slight stutter. It felt so right coming from Hoffman’s lip and caressing his ear.

“Just get us home.” Hoffman’s hand laid on its favorite spot along the inside of Strahm’s thigh. Strahm sped out of the lot and drove them home. Hoffman carefully brought the bag of food in before tossing it onto the table in front of their couch. “Do I need to get a dress on, or can you fuck me like the man that I am?” Strahm hooked his hands under Hoffman’s ass and picked him up, shoving him into a wall.

“That answer your question?” Strahm’s teeth sunk into the skin of the detective’s neck. Hoffman wrapped his legs around Strahm’s back and rested his hands behind Strahm’s head. He thrusted his hips up into Strahm’s center, desperately looking for friction. “Wait.”

“What?”

“Let me feed you while we do this.”

“Fucking perv.”

“Shut up. You’re engaged to this perv.” Peter threw it back in Mark’s face. He carefully let go of Hoffman, making sure his feet were planted on the floor before letting go of his back. He sat down at the couch and patted the spot next to him, unrolling the folds of the paper bag. Normally Strahm would ask Hoffman if he felt like starting with the egg rolls or his sesame chicken, but he didn’t have the time. He pulled a roll from the paper wrapper and pressed it up against Mark’s lips for him to eat. Hoffman took a slow bite, only for Strahm to adjust his position on the couch, leaning over Hoffman just a bit more. With one hand pressed into the center of Hoffman’s chest, Strahm forced Hoffman to eat the next bite just a little bit faster, and faster until the roll was gone. He pulled his hands away from Hoffman to get the container of fried rice from the bag. He fumbles with the tabs keeping the container sealed for a moment before taking one of the spoons from the bag and shoving it into the mountain of rice before them. “Think you can eat this whole thing and your chicken?”

“What are you going to eat?” Hoffman acted coy. He took the spoon that hovered in the space between him and Strahm and brought it up to his mouth, wrapping his fingers around Strahm’s for a second while he swallowed. He let go to let Strahm feed him some more of the side. He polished the fried rice without even a sweat, and Strahm pulled the chicken from the bag. It was lukewarm at best, but neither of them cared. Hoffman was hungry, and Strahm wanted to see his partner’s stomach bulge as he scarfed down a meal for two. He finished the sesame chicken before his head could register that he was full, so he asked “What else can you fit in me?”

“Here.” Peter broke into his egg foo young and slathered gravy onto it before shoving it into Mark’s face. Mark licked the gravy off the edge of Strahm’s fingers as he ate the other man’s food happily. His stomach gurgled, alerting the two that he had reached capacity and Strahm’s fingers slowly sunk in to the taut skin. He slowly massaged as Hoffman’s head started slowly catching up.

“Fuck.” He let out a low grumble. Strahm continued to work on moving his fingers in soothing circles over the distended belly that hung over Hoffman’s pants and rested on top of his lap ever so slightly. Strahm’s mouth worked over Hoffman’s jawline like a dog chewing on a bone. Hoffman leaned back, pressing his stomach further into Strahm’s chest as he titled his head and brought Strahm’s lips back to his. Strahm pulled away to get a breath and pull at Hoffman’s belt. It fought against Mark’s bulk until it lay on the floor next to them. He quickly undid the button of his pant and ran his fingers over the red indent that button had made on the underside of Mark’s belly.

“You’re so fucking handsome.” Strahm growled against Mark’s cheek, “Fucking Christ…” Hoffman wrapped his arms around Peter’s back and worked his legs around Peter’s hips. Strahm unzipped his fly as quick as his shaky fingers would let him and pulled his dick out. He unhooked Mark for a second to grab lube from their bedroom and threw the bottle into Mark’s hand. Hoffman eagerly coated his hand in the substance before giving Strahm a couple of quick pumps. Strahm leaned over Hoffman and pressed his lips against the other man’s neck. Hoffman took his clean hand and ran it through the slicked back hair of Strahm’s. Strahm asked, “Ready?”

“Ready.” Hoffman kissed Strahm’s lips before Strahm thrusted into him. He made a grunt as he thrusted harder into his partner, not giving Hoffman any time to adjust if he needed to. Mark’s fingers trailed up along Strahm’s back and dug in slowly to just below Peter’s shoulder blades. He rolled his back ever so slightly, getting Hoffman’s hands into a more comfortable spot as his pace sped up. Strahm’s lips hovered over Hoffman’s for a second, waiting for the moan in the back of Mark’s throat to come out from his mouth before re-establishing a second form of contact between their bodies.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Hoffman’s teeth tugged on the inside of Strahm’s lip as his eyelids flickered shut, getting that much closer to cumming onto Strahm’s chest.

“Fuck…” Strahm came into Hoffman, not stopping his motions until he was completely spent. He used a hand to help Hoffman finish. He made a grunt underneath Strahm as he released, his lips quivering as Strahm drew out his orgasm for as long as Mark could take.

“Fuck.” Hoffman carefully readjusted the two of them so he could sit up on the couch and cupped Strahm’s face between his hands.

“I love you.” Strahm said in a low voice

“Love you too.” Hoffman leaned in and kissed him, running his thumb over Strahm’s cheek. They held onto each other for a moment before Hoffman asked, “What do you want for dinner?”

“Do we even have anything here? I thought that was the point of getting take out.” Strahm’s nose buried into the crook of Hoffman’s neck.

“I can probably throw together eggs and toast or something.” His nose rested against Strahm’s head

“I could throw that together myself.” Strahm bickered

“Just shut up and let me make it for you.”

“Fine.” He unwrapped himself from Mark and let his fiance leave his side. He flipped the TV on and waited for his meal in silence. Hoffman came back about ten minutes later with a decent sized plate and handed it to Strahm. Strahm pulled the bulkier man back down to his side and ate his dinner in silence. He set the plate down on the coffee table and wrapped an arm around Hoffman’s back, resting his other hand on the other man’s stomach. Hoffman brought his hand with the engagement ring up to Strahm’s lips. Strahm took his hand, curling Hoffman’s fingers around his and pressing his lips just above where the ring sat.

“I love you.” Hoffman’s lips hovered over Strahm’s head as he said the words

“I love you too.” Strahm replied. Strahm let go of Mark’s hand and rested his hand on his partner’s stretched abdomen once more, rubbing gentle circles over it.

“When are we getting married?” Hoffman asked him

“When can we sneak off to Atlantic City?” Strahm laughed to himself

“I think I can get away for a weekend in the next month.” Hoffman answered. His fingers gently ruffled the front of Strahm’s hair before his thumb ran over the smoothed skin of Strahm’s face scar. Strahm’s heart pounded in his chest. “The question is do you want me to wear a dress or a tux?”

“Let’s go to bed.” Strahm got up and started walking towards their bedroom

“Mrs. Marka Strahm.” Hoffman said with a satisfied smirk, following his partner as Strahm’s face grew redder than Rudolph's nose.

[barkhoffman]

#1 fat and hairy Mark Hoffman truther again-

Yes I’ve seen Hannibal, I’m a fag and so I watched it as a gay comedy. That shit was hilarious. I did enjoy the cooking scenes, to no one’s surprise, cooking is one of my biggest interests so mixing food with horror? AND ADDING BLOOD SYMBOLISM? I was dripping (from the mouth)

I didn’t really get into Hannibal/Will, I know a bunch of Hoffman/Strahm shippers think they’re cut from the same cloth but eh. Meh. Maybe it’s cause Hannibal’s superiority complex makes me :/ or cause I think Mads Mikkelsen is pug fuck ugly but to each their own

I did forreal enjoy the show though, I thought all the villains of the week were fun. I especially liked that guy from season 2(?) who made himself into an animal and started mauling people. Damn bitch me too 👏🏽

————

Anyways here’s more feedee Hoffman post-Saw 3D concepts for your soul:

- after getting locked in the bathroom for several days/possibly a week, Hoffman is ravenous. He gets that sweet sweet starvation trauma babyyyyyy. I’m talking “growling at people’s hands when they even inch near his food” kind of territorial (dog motifs anyone?)

- to counter this, Strahm has to systematically reintroduce meal time to him. I’m talking TPE (total power exchange) dynamics as kink therapy. Hoffman has to sit pretty, wait and stay at the table until Strahm puts his food down. He has to use his utensils and be polite, Strahm wants him to be able to eat in public again without making a scene

- at first, Strahm has to hand feed him tiny morsels because Hoffman would just wolf (haha) down his whole plate and end up throwing it back up. Hand feeding lets Strahm control how much food Hoffman gets before he has to take a sip of water, it also means the man has to chew and swallow before he gets more. The first time he tries, Strahm gets some nasty bites since Hoffman is that desperate. Strahm doesn’t punish him for it but he gets a very stern reprimand and makes Hoffman stop dinner time to bandage him up

- after a bit of training, Hoffmans basically back to where he used to be with food, pre-bathroom, but he still enjoys being doted on by Strahm at meal time. I mean, who can blame him? Strahm has his whole attention on his puppy, praising him for how good his manners are, giving his hand little squeezes every time he asks for water, getting belly rubs post meal to help everything settle in his tummy, etc. it was a long road to recovery but they did it

- Hoffman probably enjoys all the personal attention and care Strahm showers on him. Being locked in the bathroom with no light and only the stench of decomposing corpses can really fuck up a guys sense of time and smell. Strahm prolly isn’t the best at cooking but the fact that he’s alive, moving around and filling the space with warm smells settles a deep rooted sense of anxiety in Hoffman. If he ends up plastered to Strahm’s back, hooking his chin over the agents shoulder and trying to sneak meatballs out of the pot- well. Who can blame him. He loves Italian

ok just had to know the Hannibal thing bc I was like hm it sounds like anon might enjoy the homoerotic bird-eating scene LMAO

can I tell u all how much I love sort of bdsm relationships like the one being described between hoffstrahm here

like yas bitch control him dominate him make him behave!!!

[hoffstrap-yuri]

Primadonna Girl

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary:

“I haven’t said ‘I love you’ in almost twelve hours.” “What makes you say that now?” “Just… thinking about how I want to say I love you.” “I love you too.” Mark leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek. Strahm took his foot off the brake and looked into Hoffman’s eyes. “Pete?” “Let’s get married.” “Peter, are you crazy?” Hoffman laughed.

*Rating: +18 for Explicit Mature Content

*Tags/Content: Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Fluff, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Feeding Kink, Hand Feeding, Feeding, Alternate Universe, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Smut, Gratuitous Smut, PWP, Domestic, Slight Slob Elements

*Status: Chapter 2 of 2/Complete. Link to Chapter One Here.

Author's Note: You voted, you got it! A request for @markhoffmanluster. Wooweeanother chapter. This one is equally as horny as the first chapter. Let me know if you want the hoffstrahm wedding one day. Who knows I may write it. And a huge thank you to dixxiemaegraphics for feeding Hoffstrahm/Coffinshipping fans, literally couldn't have written this without motivation from your art. As always enjoy!

“Okay, you can turn around now.” Hoffman finished clasping the earring into his ear and fluffed up the ends of his wigs. He clasped his clutch purse in front of himself as Strahm turned to face him. “Say something, honey.” Rather than say anything, Strahm took a step towards Hoffman and pressed his lips onto his partner’s. The rouge matte lipstick slid across Strahm’s teeth as their kisses turned into something more passionate, staining the edges of Hoffman’s lip.

“You’re gorgeous…” Strahm pulled away and looked at him, his hands wrapped around the sleeves of Hoffman’s coat.

“Like the kind of woman you’d propose to?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Hoffman pulled him back in by the flaps of his collar and kissed him

“C’mon.” Strahm cleared his throat, pulling away from Hoffman. “We’re going to be late for our reservation.”

“Okay.” He let Strahm go and wiggled the engagement ring off his finger. He handed it back to Strahm and Strahm tucked it into the ring box, placing it in his pocket. He hooked his arms around one of Strahm’s as they walked to the car. Strahm opened the door for his bride and closed it before getting into the driver’s seat. Immediately, Hoffman’s hand rested on the inside of Strahm’s thigh. With his free hand he toggled the radio and hummed along to the love songs in a slight falsetto. He rested his head on Strahm’s shoulder and looked up at him like a ditsy woman head over heels in love with her man. Hoffman whispered something against Strahm’s neck while they waited at a stop light that he couldn’t make out. He was doing everything in his power to drone out the attempts from Hoffman to seduce him while he was operating a vehicle and Hoffman knew this which made his insistence that much hotter to the both of them. Strahm finally pulled the car up to the valet and got out of the car, walking around to get Hoffman out before handing the keys off to the driver.

“Pulling out all the stops for me.” Hoffman spoke in his falsetto, wrapping his hands around Strahm’s arm. He pressed his lips onto Strahm’s cheek for a quick peck as they approached the host about their reservation. She checked the notes in the reservation, hiding a smile behind the menus while escorting the couple to their table. Strahm pulled out the seat for his girlfriend as she crossed her legs and sat down. “Thank you dear.” Peter sat across from his lovely lady as she rested her head against her knuckles on the table. Hoffman picked up a menu and flipped through it, looking over at Strahm on the other side. “Honey, you’re so nervous. You’re not normally like this.”

“I know, I know.” Strahm replied rather absentmindedly. Hoffman pushed Strahm’s menu down before dropping the falsetto and telling him

“You’ve done it once agent, it should be easier this time.” Hoffman’s lips curled on the ends into a slight smirk. “Do you need some help?”

“Help?” Strahm asked. The front of Hoffman’s shoe pressed into his crotch slowly. Strahm cleared his throat as he adjusted himself under the table and reached for his water glass.

“Something the matter, hon?” Hoffman’s falsetto back in full effect as she batted her eyelashes at her partner.

“No.” He let out a weak cough

“Good.” She pulled her foot back towards her and kept browsing

“Fucking tease.” Strahm muttered under his breath, making Hoffman’s face light up from behind the menu. Strahm slid his hand halfway across the table cloth and Hoffman met him in the middle, putting her right hand on top of his left. He brought her hand up to his lips as they got interrupted by the waiter. She pulled her hand back as she ordered, playing with the edge of her coat before letting it fall off her shoulders. Strahm started staring at Hoffman’s collarbones, wishing his face could be buried in his neck while he held him. Hoffman brought a hand up to her mouth and quietly cleared her throat as the waiter asked Strahm what was it that he wanted to drink. Strahm ordered a bottle of champagne for the two of them and the waiter ran to grab the bottle, knowing he was intruding on their moment. He brought back the bottle for them and two flutes before pouring them each a glass. Immediately Hoffman brought it up to her lips and watched as Strahm watched her drink. She turned the flute into a shot glass and set it down on the table and leaned in towards Strahm.

“Can’t keep your eyes off me, huh?”

“You should know damn well by now how I feel.” Strahm grumbled. She reached her hands out across the table to take his. He met her in the middle of the table and watched as she ran her thumbs over the back of Strahm’s veiny hands. “I love you…”

“I love you too.” Hoffman answers in his natural voice before the waiter stops back at their table to get their food order. They got their order in and Hoffman ran his fingers through the strands of his wig. Strahm leaned across the table and pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s. He wrapped his arms around the back of Peter’s neck and bit on his lip softly.

“So enamored with me.” Hoffman smiled as Strahm shoved himself back into his seat. “I’m sure there’s eyes on us right now, Agent. Aren’t you embarrassed? That’s the kind of behavior for a hotel room.” Hoffman teased Strahm. He saw Strahm play with the waistband of his pants, his smirk only growing. “Should I move my chair next to you? Would that make you act more like a man in charge of his sexual urges?”

“Maybe.” He took a deep breath, trying to make his body sit still when everything in him was screaming to pull Hoffman into the bathroom and fuck him five ways to Sunday.

“You’re so fucking cute like this, honey.” Strahm watched the words slid off Hoffman’s plush lips letting out a growl from the back of his throat. After a quick glance to make sure that he wouldn’t be in the waitstaff’s way, Hoffman pulled his chair besides Strahm and rested his hand against the inside of Strahm’s thigh. “Whisper in my ear, tell me what you want to do to me.” Strahm leaned into Hoffman’s ear before telling the other man,

“I want to pick you up off your seat and throw you into a stall and fuck you until you couldn’t manage to say anything but my name.” His breath trailed down Hoffman’s neck

“And I get a proposal out of you tonight?” Hoffman stared at his partner’s lips, running the edge of his tongue over his own. The waiter brought their plates to them, Hoffman waved him off with a hand. Strahm grabbed his silverware and started cutting into Hoffman’s steak for him. Hoffman tucked his feet over one another under the chair and pursed his lips, waiting for the fork to make contact. Strahm put the knife in his right hand down on the table and gave Hoffman’s leg a squeeze under the table. While he fed his partner the meat, his hand ran over the smooth leggings Hoffman had on before touching the edge of the thigh garter the man was wearing. His hand trailed up further into the inside of Hoffman’s dress as he shoved the fork more forcefully towards the man. Hoffman ate the food with grace and a control that Strahm was losing by the minute as he kept feeding Mark.

“Honey, it’s not fair you haven’t had a bite of your meal.” He reached over Strahm’s arms and fed Strahm a piece off his plate. Strahm quickly swallowed it down before Hoffman pressed the tines of the fork against his lips. “Don’t just consume it, enjoy it. Tell me what it tastes like.”

“Fine.” Strahm let a breath escape against the metal, warming the tips of Hoffman’s fingers.

“That’s my good boy.” She purred, running her forefinger along Strahm’s jawline. Not one waiter seemed to want to do a table touch on the couple. That was fine for the both of them. They didn’t need anyone seeing the way they fawned over each other. Hoffman finished his meal first, Strahm had practically shoveled it into Hoffman’s greedy mouth. His stomach slightly peaked out from under his dress but it wasn’t enough for either of them. “I look like I could be about two months along.”

“Yeah, you do.” Strahm’s hand hovered over the distended gut and started massaging it slowly, “What else do you want?”

“Hm.” Hoffman thought for a moment, “Give me whatever it was you had. That looked so good.”

“Okay.” Strahm unhooked his hands from Hoffman’s body and called a waiter over. The waiter quickly took the order and ran back off to the kitchen.

“Thanks, hon.” She pulled on Strahm’s tie and kissed him on the lips. “You spoil me and the babies.”

“Just think about what dessert you want after that.” Strahm’s fingers sunk in slowly to the slightly taut skin and massaged the bump sitting on Hoffman’s lap. With his free hand, he slid the dessert menu into Hoffman’s reach, who took it without so much as a second thought.

“Let’s see… Oh they have opera cake.”

“Okay.” Strahm replied, “What else?”

“You know I’d never say no to something with more chocolate.” Her lips casually skirted the side of Strahm’s face, leaving only the slightest hint of her lipstick along his sideburns. She pressed her thumb into his cheek to smear the evidence of her lingering and maybe hide it. Though she didn’t do a very good job of it. She wanted everyone in that restaurant to know that he was hers. The waiter dropped the plate off in front of the couple and nearly ran off before Strahm put in a dessert order. He ran off to the kitchen as Strahm slid to the edge of his seat and pushed it away. Hoffman dropped her fork on the plate, pretending to be shocked as he got down on one knee. “Honey?”

“I love you…” Strahm started, realizing that after his impromptu proposal in the car the other day he’d lost the script he had in his head. He took a deep breath before continuing his proposal. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side… There’s no one else in this world that makes me feel what I feel for you.” Hoffman rolled his eyes at Strahm “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She hopped up from her seat as the tables around them quietly cheered. He wrapped his arms around his fiance and kissed her before slipping the ring onto her finger. They sat back down and the waiter brought them their desserts, putting one plate in front of one person. Strahm pushed his plate towards Hoffman before the waiter could come back with their bill. He took the bill when it was presented and handed it back with his credit card in, not daring to look at the total until he needed to see how much to tip. Hoffman took his chin in between his forefinger and thumb and directed his gaze onto him as he ate the dessert. His eyes widened as felt a tug in the back of his dress that turned into a subtle rip. Peter ran his hand along Hoffman’s back and found the hole that was starting to grow as Hoffman took breathes in between bites of his dessert. The dress was form-fitting, but neither of them realized how much give the fabric lacked. Strahm carefully wrapped Hoffman’s jacket around his shoulders, hoping the zipper didn’t give out until they could get to his car. Hoffman got up from his seat carefully before slipping his hand into the coat pocket of Strahm’s where the valet ticket lied. He whispered into Strahm’s ear, “I’ll meet you by the car.” Strahm ended up watching her walk across the restaurant, cradling her stomach like she was actually pregnant. He met Hoffman outside and wrapped his arms around his stomach, sinking into the swollen gut. Hoffman let out a noise that made him cover his mouth using his wristlet to the shock of both men. When the valet driver pulled their car up, Strahm held the door open for his ‘new’ fiance and let her slide in before walking over to the driver’s side and getting into his car. Hoffman ran his thumb over the band, feeling as though he had been missing something while they had dinner together. He rested his hand against the gear stick and let Strahm’s fingers interlace with his. The lights of the city rolled over the dark car’s roof before Hoffman looked over at Strahm and said in a low voice,

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Strahm tried to hide his smile to himself, but it didn’t work. Hoffman’s lips were on the edge of Strahm’s within seconds as his dork of a fiance was trying to stifle his smile.

“What’s the matter?”

“Huh?”

“Normally, you’d get halfway across the bridge back into Jersey and need to jump me, but we’re almost home already.”

“Who said I didn’t want to jump you?” Strahm looked over at him when they were at a stoplight.

“Give me something now… So I know I’m not just your public fuck toy.”

“Okay.” Strahm slid the car into the nearest parking lot and turned the car off. He reached over the console and put a hand just below the growing bulge in Hoffman’s dress. His lips reached out and made contact with the foundation laden cheek before trailing his lips along his partner’s cheekbones. He rested against Hoffman’s temple, leaving a quick peck before whispering in his ear. “That enough fro you?”

“For now.” Hoffman turned and nuzzled into the side of Strahm’s face before the driver pulled away. They pulled into the driveway of their home and got to the front door when Strahm’s arms wrapped around the space between Hoffman’s growing tits and his already bulky belly. He rested his head on his partner’s shoulder while the tumbler in the lock flipped. Hoffman pulled him by the collar of his shirt into their house before spinning around on his heels to give him a proper kiss. His hand glided over Strahm’s chest as they kissed before Strahm shoved him carefully onto the couch. “Got something in mind?”

“Wait here.” Strahm leaned over Hoffman as he said it before backing off and heading to the kitchen. Hoffman crossed his leg over his lap as he waited, tapping his nails onto the side table. Strahm brought a cake out and put it on the floor in front of Hoffman. Hoffman reached down for the cake only to have Strahm swat his hands away. Hoffman raised an eyebrow at the agent before he pulled on the front of Hoffman’s dress and dropped him onto his knees. “Eat it. Since you want to be such a pig in public.”

“Fine.” Hoffman smirked, pushing his hair back behind his shoulders as he leaned forward and dove face first into the cake. Strahm got down besides him. Hoffman heard the snap of an elastic band around Strahm’s wrist before feeling the wig being pulled back into a rather amateur ponytail. If this was Strahm’s plan all along, he could’ve just asked Hoffman to tie his hair up. God knows how many times he did Angie’s hair for her. Still, that wouldn’t be nearly as gratifying as the way Strahm’s hands slid underneath Hoffman while he grazed at the pastry in front of his face. “Can’t keep them off me, huh?”

“Shut up and eat.” Strahm’s lips brushed against the back of Hoffman’s ear before pressing a kiss onto his skin. Hoffman arched his back slightly as he shivered from Strahm’s touch. He continued to shovel cake into his mouth, getting the sloppy mixture of excessive frosting and pastry onto his dress. Strahm’s hands dug into his stomach that dangled in front of him.

“I mean what kind of pervert would let a man like you touch him like this?” Hoffman smirked, “Shit you might even be more nasty than I am.”

“Says the bitch who looks pregnant.” Strahm bit back, sliding his hands back to Hoffman’s ass before giving his ass a firm squeeze.

“Treating me like a fucking princess.” Hoffman let a moan slip from his mouth as he finished the dessert in all its decadent glory. Strahm hiked the edge of the dress up well past the curve of Hoffman’s ass and pulled himself out of his pants. He slowly played with the edge of Hoffman’s panties before pulling them down to his knees and shoving himself into his fiance. He wrapped his hands around the front of Hoffman’s legs as he thrust into him. “Fuck Peter…” Strahm made a short acknowledging grunt as he kept chasing his climax. “God you’re fucking going at me like a bitch in heat, Pete.”

“And you’re begging for it like you want to carry my children.” Strahm’s teeth dug into the back of Hoffman’s neck as he quickly moved his hand onto Hoffman’s dick. “Cum for me…” He tried his best to keep his pumps consistent with the rhythm of his thrusts but lost it when Mark’s moans filled his head with just enough to drive him over the edge. Hoffman adjusted himself slightly and wrapped his fingers over the back of Strahm’s hand and moved the appendage up and down himself for Peter. He came into the other man’s hand before taking it and licking his cum off it, making sure to run his tongue along the edge of Peter’s middle finger. “Fuck…” Strahm pulled out of Hoffman and laid down on the floor next to him. Hoffman adjusted the bottom of his dress so that he was slightly decent again before plopping down on top of Strahm’s chest. “Come the fuck on, you’re getting cake all over me.”

“Oops.” Hoffman smirked, rubbing himself up against Strahm’s dress shirt. Strahm kissed the crown of his head before taking the wig off of Hoffman’s head and running his fingers through Mark’s hair. “I love you…”

“Love you too.” Strahm whispered quietly to Hoffman

“You know.” Hoffman’s finger swirled across Strahm’s chest. “You didn’t answer me the other day.”

“About?”

“About whether or not you wanted me in a wedding dress.” Hoffman smirked

“I…” Strahm started to stammer

“Easy.” He rested his fingertips against Strahm’s lips, effectively silencing him. Strahm in turn puckered his lips, kissing his partner’s finger. Hoffman took his finger off Strahm’s lips and kissed him back.

“Thought I told you I’d think about it.” Strahm returned Hoffman’s sass

“Hurry it up, I can’t stay engaged forever.” Hoffman’s lips moved across Strahm’s face before giving his cheek a quick peck. He ran his thumb over his jawline before looking into Strahm’s eyes and saying once more, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[hoffstrap-yuri]

To Have and To Hold

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary: Like a game of cat and mouse, Hoffman and Strahm continue their little ruse from DC. Just in New York this time.

*Rating: +18 for Explicit Mature Content

*Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Slight Feeding Kink, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Domestic, Domestic Fluff

*Status: Sequel/Complete (First Chapter of First Fic Here) (Second Chapter of First Fic Here)

Author's Note: So Hi. Here's the sequel people have been asking for to "In Sickness and In Health (Insurance)". Sadly there's no fraud in this one, but I wanted to focus more on them growing as a couple than them just being bickering accomplices so that's why there's more focus on one date. This is also for the anon on tumblr who clocked me for having a feeding fetish in seconds after I reblogged a "make an assumption about me" ask game. Also yay Perez cameo in this fic, because I love her dynamic with Strahm so much.

Hope you'll all enjoy this one as much as the last, and thank you for reading as always!

Click. Click.

“Stop.” Strahm looked over at Hoffman from across their desks

“Give me the answer to 5 across, and then I’ll stop.” Hoffman replied, continuing to click his pen. He didn’t lift his eyes off the paper in front of him.

“I’ve got something better.” Strahm slid a paper across their desks and Hoffman took a glance at it. He couldn’t make out the details so he used the end of the pen to slide the document closer to him. He looked over the paper and brought it up to his face.

“I don’t get it. Is this the answer to 18 down?”

“No dumbass.” Strahm’s face dropped and covered his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I got us a reservation to a place.”

“What kind of place?”

“An Italian place.”

“Sounds nice.” Hoffman crumpled up the paper and threw it back into Strahm’s lap. Strahm unfurled the paper and smoothed it out over the desk

“You told me you wanted me to buy you dinner back at the hotel a couple months back. I’m buying you dinner.” Strahm grumbled a little bit

“And you’ve only shoved your tongue down my throat about five times since then. So much restraint on your part, Agent.” Hoffman rolled his eyes, “What’s in it for me?”

“Other than free food?”

“Yes.”

“You get a free ride into the city and don’t have to deal with Manhattan parking?”

“More.”

“What more could you want, you idiot?”

“Give me something like that bathroom in Virginia and our hotel room after our meal.”

“You want me to get us a hotel and make a weekend out of going an hour away?”

“Only if you want to. I was referring to the more heinous things we did in those places.” Hoffman stood up and leaned over Strahm’s desk. Strahm forcibly expelled a breath through his nose and Hoffman sat back down with the satisfaction that Strahm had gotten the memo. He crossed his legs and picked his puzzle up in time so that when Perez strolled in, it looked like the two law enforcement agents hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Honestly, when do you two ever eat?” She asked, looking over at the partner she’s had for five years

“When I feel like it.” Strahm responded. He leaned in his chair and flipped through the manila file folders before him as Hoffman answered Lindsay with a shrug. Hoffman got occupied making calls to potential witnesses for interviews the rest of the afternoon, while Strahm was tasked with making a drive out to a crime scene.

---

Strahm walked through the door of the other man’s home. It’d become second nature to him to go back to the detective’s house at the end of the work day. Perez even joked that she never saw Strahm at their hotel’s complimentary breakfast and he brushed off her concern with a ‘we must just go down at different times’. He sat down on the couch that was like a second home to him and turned on the TV without so much as a second thought. Hoffman leaned against the door frame and watched his partner from a distance before Strahm felt his gaze squarely on him. He looked back over at Hoffman before saying,

“Come here.”

Hoffman walked over to the couch and sat next to the FBI agent, taking the other man’s arm and putting it around his shoulders. He asked Strahm, “What are we watching tonight?”

“General?”

“I’d rather die.”

“Fine. We could watch survivor…”

“What about that Law & Order show?”

“You don’t think we get enough of that at work?” Strahm scoffed

“I don’t get to see Mariska Hargitay at work every day.” Hoffman shot back

“Oh bullshit, I know you’re not looking at her.” Strahm looked down at Hoffman and at his lips. He was frustrated having this back and forth exchange with the detective with no end in sight but he needed the other man. He craved the feeling of Hoffman’s stupidly thick lips on top of his.

“You look ravenous, Agent.” Hoffman caught Strahm’s gaze and leaned further into his space.

“Just thinking of how stupid you’d look with a mustache. It’d only highlight how damn big your lips are.”

“Right, that’s definitely what you were thinking.” Hoffman leaned back. Strahm made a noise in the back of his throat from the lose of contact but made a face instead of admitting that he wanted the detective in his arms. “I’m going to bed. If you care to join me.”

“I’ll be there in a minute. Something caught my eye on the pay-per-view channels.”

“Just give me the money later if you decide to watch something.” Hoffman got up from the couch and walked off to bed without so much as another word. Strahm looked over his shoulder and watched Hoffman walk away. He flipped through the channels mindlessly for a couple more minutes before crawling into bed next to Hoffman. Hoffman felt the shift in the weight on his bed and wrapped his arms around Strahm before the agent could protest. Strahm rolled over just enough that he wouldn’t break the grip Hoffman had on him and shut his eyes. When Strahm woke up the next morning, Hoffman was already in the shower. Strahm rolled over to look at Hoffman’s bedside clock. 6:30. Lindsay was probably down at the hotel’s breakfast right now, or was on her way to get some coffee from Dunkin. While he thought about his partner, his other partner stood at the bedside before uttering,

“The bathroom’s all yours.”

“Thanks.” Strahm replied back before lugging himself up off the mattress and into the bathroom. He put the previous day’s clothes on the side of the sink and hopped into the shower. He stole a bit of Hoffman’s aftershave and rubbed it across his neck. Before stepping out of the bathroom he slung his clothes on and realized he was missing a tie. He walked back to Hoffman’s bedroom and sat next to the other man.

“Something I can help you with?” Hoffman looked him up and down

“What did you do with my tie from last night?”

“You got some food on it and I threw it to get washed.”

“You mind if I borrow one of yours?”

“Sure. Won’t Lindsay notice?”

“Not if we bury the lead.”

“I don’t know how much further we can bury before we seal our coffins, Agent.” Hoffman got up from the bed and walked over to his cabinet. He pulled the first tie he found out and threw it at Strahm, who clumsily caught it. He wrapped it around the back of his neck before Hoffman swat his hands away and tied it for himself. He pulled the knot tight as Strahm stared at Hoffman’s hands working with a speed he’d never expected from the detective. “Now hurry. Or else she might get to the office before you do.” Strahm thanked him quietly and scuttled off to his car. He turned the key in the ignition and sped off out of the alleyway. When Strahm got to work the minutes dragged into hours. Hoffman talked to him like they hadn’t been one brush of contact away from making out that morning and it was killing Strahm. He started clicking the bottom of his pen before Lindsay gave him a look. She knew under normal circumstances the clicking would’ve driven Strahm insane and Strahm seemed to notice her gaze. He stopped what he was doing and shot a look at Hoffman who seemed to relish in the fact his habit seemingly grew onto Strahm.

“Doing anything fun this weekend?” Lindsay asked Strahm, pulling her attention back to the computer in front of her

“When have I ever done anything fun with my time off, Linds?” Strahm scoffed

“Don’t know. Weather’s supposed to be good.”

“I’ll be sure to stop at the Central Park Zoo for you.”

“Thanks.” She took his sarcasm and slung it back at him

“You must have something going on then.”

“Just going to see my mom.”

“Tell her I said ‘hi’.” He nodded

“I’ll make sure to save you an empanada.”

“Is that your way of asking to leave early?” Strahm looked up at her

“Maybe. Could throw in a slice of tres leche.” She shrugged

“Just go.”

“No tres leche?”

“No, definitely bring me a piece.” Strahm scoffed

“See you next week Pete. Hoffman.”

“Bye.” Hoffman replied as Perez threw her stuff in her bag and left

“We could probably get out of here early too.”

“Could we now?” Hoffman looked over at Strahm, “And what would we do with all our extra free time?”

Strahm looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was around before uttering in a low voice, “I could buy you a new outfit for our date.”

“Now we’re talking, Agent.” Hoffman grabbed his suit jacket and got up from his desk. Strahm followed with his case files in hand. Hoffman got in Strahm’s car and Strahm questioned him about it.

“The hell are you doing in my car?”

“It’s more efficient to carpool these days, Agent.”

“But what if Perez comes back and sees my car gone but you’re still here.”

“She’s not coming back.” Hoffman replied, “Now drive us to the mall and we can pick my car up later.”

“Fine.” Strahm backed out of the lot and drove them to the mall. While it wasn’t nearly as exciting as their first time shopping for a dress for Hoffman, he still had his fun teasing the agent with quick utterances about how his legs looked in a long dress he brought into the dressing room, or how tight a midi dress looked around his waist without ever going out to give Strahm a sneak peek.

“These two.”

“One.” Strahm said

“Two.” Hoffman bit back, “I know you can afford it and after all, this was all your idea.”

“Fine.” Without another fighting word, Strahm brought the dresses up to the counter while Hoffman looked at the various accessories by the registers. To the average onlooker, it probably looked like Strahm was buying the dresses for his wife while Hoffman was trying to pick out earrings for his bride. Strahm slung the bag over his shoulder and nudged Hoffman out towards the mall before Hoffman guided Strahm to another store.

“Seems like I’m getting low on my aftershave.” Hoffman remarked

“Wouldn’t know anything about it.”

“Right.” Hoffman rolled his eyes and picked up a bottle from the store. He stepped out a couple seconds later before his lips nearly grazed the side of Strahm’s ear. He whispered into it, “You know that bra you got me won’t work under my dresses.”

“So let’s get you something that’ll work.” Strahm replied as quiet as he possibly could. Hoffman walked off with a smirk as he dragged Strahm to another store. Hoffman threw a stack into Strahm’s arms and brought the other man up to the register to pay for it all. The cashier tried to strike up conversation with Strahm, saying how lucky his wife must be to have him out buying something for her. “Yeah. She is.” Strahm replied, not taking his eyes off the ever climbing total. He shakily handed his credit card over before getting the bag in return. Hoffman hummed in a twisted satisfaction as he practically pulled Strahm out of the store in his borrowed tie. “Think you’ve blown enough of my money for today here?”

“And if I haven’t?” Hoffman countered

“Then I would say you’re crazy.”

“To bad you don’t have the balls to say no to me.” Hoffman smirked. He saw a hallway in front of them and pulled Strahm around the corner before pushing his weight onto the special agent, pinning him to the wall. “Watching you squirm like this, Agent Strahm… does something to me.”

“Sadist.” Strahm scoffed

“If I’m so much of a sadist, what do you call it when your partner will use any phrase but the simple three worded one to get his feelings for you out? I think that’s pretty sadistic.” Hoffman growled at the other man. Strahm felt his face getting hot. So Hoffman had noticed his dances around saying the words ‘I love you’. He thought he was being slick about it, but if Hoffman noticed he must’ve made some unsubtle move in the past… Before he could give Hoffman an answer or a reasoning behind why he’d been avoiding those words, Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm. “Think about it, Agent.”

“Fine.”

“Good. Let’s go get my car.” Hoffman hummed and they walked back to Strahm’s vehicle. While Strahm was pulling away from the mall, Hoffman leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek. Strahm’s face turned a beet red yet again before realizing no one would notice their intimacy at 40 miles per hour. Strahm pulled into the lot of a fast food place quickly and kissed Hoffman square on the lips before driving back to the police station. “See you at home.”

“See you.” Strahm replied quickly and sped off. Strahm beat Hoffman to his house and waited at the patio door for Hoffman to come with the key. Hoffman strolled to the door and reached behind Strahm to unlock the door. He kissed Strahm’s cheek before walking into his home. Strahm followed suit and trailed behind Hoffman all the way to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around the detective as the man reached for something in the cabinet overhead. Strahm then buried his face in Hoffman’s neck.

“Here I thought you only liked me with a bra on.” Hoffman reached behind himself to run a hand through Strahm’s hair. “Such affection from you, Agent… will tonight be the night you slip up and say it?”

“No.” Strahm makes a noise of disapproval in the back of his throat

“Saving it then for tomorrow?”

“You’re just egging me on.” Strahm replied, though it was mostly to himself

“And you seemingly fall for it, hook line and sinker.” Hoffman was quick to counter him. “Get out of my way, I’m trying to cook.”

“Fine.” Strahm peeled himself off Hoffman and sat in the living room, faced with the dilemma yet again of what was there to watch this evening. Hoffman brought a plate over to Strahm and sat down next to him before Strahm stopped on a movie. Something unremarkable and inoffensive for two grown men to watch. Hoffman got up at one point to throw their plates in the sink and grab a blanket from the other side of the room. Strahm looked up at Hoffman before resting his head on the other man’s shoulders

“You looked tired.” Hoffman explained

“Yeah. I am.”

“Then we can sleep out here.”

“Okay.” Strahm let his eyes close shut and woke the next morning to the sun pouring into the living room. Once again he was alone on the couch and cocooned himself further with the blanket now that he didn’t have to share. He heard the floors creak, more than likely from Hoffman getting out of the bathroom, but decided to wait until the detective came out to the living room. He flipped the TV on and watched a news channel for a second, waiting on the weather report. “Looks good…”

“I haven’t even shown you yet.” Hoffman peered around the corner with a slight smirk on his face

“No not you, I mean the weather. For tonight.”

“Good.” The detective stepped out and fluffed up the ends of his hair with his fingers. Strahm looked him up and down for a good while. “See something you like, agent?”

“I…” Strahm stammered, looking for coherent words rather than guttural throat noises. Hoffman’s smirk grew. He slipped his fingers underneath the bands of the garter belt he was wearing before using a free hand to pull Strahm’s gaze up to his eyes.

“Say something, hubby.”

“I… You look really good.”

“How good?”

“Like I could take you right now good.” Strahm replied weakly. Hoffman let go of his chin and sauntered away back to the bedroom, though he still seemed pretty smug as he did. He came back maybe ten minutes later with his face completely dolled up and his dress on. He posed at the entrance to the hallway, putting one hand on his hip and waiting for Strahm to say something before approaching him. Instead Strahm got up from his seat and met the detective, wrapping a hand around Hoffman’s back. He leaned in and pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s before pulling away.

“You smudged my lipstick, ass.” Hoffman used the tip of his thumb to clean up the edges of his lips. “I take it you’re ready to go then?”

“Yeah.” Strahm replied while getting his coat on. After Hoffman locked the door, Strahm held the car door open for his wife and Hoffman slid into the seat. Once Strahm gets in, he reaches over Hoffman’s lap and fumbles with the glove compartment to find the directions he printed out back at the police station. He puts his hand on the gear shift and Hoffman covers Strahm’s hand up with his own. Strahm looked behind them quick and pulled the car out of the alley before taking off towards Manhattan. Hoffman rolls the window down and Strahm takes a quick glance at the detective. His hair was getting blown back by the spring air while Hoffman looked absentmindedly out the window, but his grasp on Strahm’s hand was still tight. His legs were also crossed and Strahm could hardly take his eyes off Hoffman but returned his focus to the road as he realized it had been a second since he checked. It took every ounce of self control Strahm had not to cuss while driving into the city, and even more when looking for parking somewhere near their restaurant. When they were parked he let out one big, “Fuck.”

“Good boy.” Hoffman let go of Strahm’s hand and gave him a supportive little scratch under his chin, “Getting your anger under control.”

“Shut up.” Strahm turned away from his touch and Hoffman grinned. They got out of the car and Strahm held his arm out for Hoffman to hold onto.

“Thanks honey.” Hoffman kissed his cheek and latched tightly onto the arm. They walked along the sidewalk and dipped into the restaurant

“How many?” The host asked

“Reservation for Strahm… Peter.” Strahm replied

“Okay, give me one second and make sure your table is ready.”

“Thanks.” Strahm nodded before he pressed his nose into the top of Hoffman’s wig.

“Nuzzle me any harder, agent, and my wig will go flying off.” Hoffman said under his breath between clenched teeth

“Sorry.” He pulled himself off Hoffman as the host returned and grabbed two menus for the couple. Hoffman sat down and dramatically flipped the menu open as he crossed his legs under the table. “Get whatever you want.”

“Is that why you were being so stingy at the mall?” Hoffman asked him, not taking his eyes off the paper before them. Strahm just quietly scoffed while a food runner came by and dropped off a bread basket for the table. Hoffman looked up and stole two pieces immediately and buttered them. Strahm looked up and watched the speed with which the other man devoured the appetizer before him. Strahm wasn’t one to notice this normally. Hell when Hoffman was sitting next to him on their couch at home, he just kept to himself. Maybe it was the way he so publicly ate like a pig but Strahm pushed the basket closer to Hoffman.

“Aren’t you going to have some, Agent?” Hoffman asked, mildly suspicious of the other man’s intentions

“Yeah.” He took one slice and buttered it up, before putting it down on the side plate as the waiter approached the table. They put their order in and Strahm took a small bite from the bread. Hoffman stole another couple of pieces from the basket. The waiter came back with their glasses of wine and assured them it wouldn’t be much longer on the food.

“You keep looking at me like you have something to say honey. Just tell me what you want, perv.”

“Here we are.” The waiter stops by with two giant plates of pasta and puts it down on the table. Hoffman gives Strahm a look before taking a sip from his wine glass and takes a stab at a couple of noodles on the plate. Strahm starts picking at his meal, clearing off a decent amount in the time it takes Hoffman to finish his pasta.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, I’m just getting full.”

“Bullshit, agent.” Hoffman scoffed

“That’s all it is, I swear.”

“And that’s why you’re pushing the plate towards me, like I’m going to eat it?”

“Might take it home for leftovers.” Strahm shrugged

“Pasta never holds up.” Hoffman pulled the plate closer to him and took a tentative bite from the plate before pulling it all the way over. Strahm swapped their plates and slipped off Hoffman’s plate towards the side. The waiter came back to check in and cleared the plate without much thought. Strahm grabbed a slice of bread as Hoffman twirled the noodles around his fork and brought it up to his lips. The FBI agent looked away quickly as some of the sauce sat on Hoffman’s lips. He reached across the table and used his napkin to clean his partner’s lips. “I can take care of myself, honey.”

“I know… just didn’t want you ruining the dress I bought for you.”

“Sure. That’s your motive here.” Hoffman eyed him up before deciding to tease Strahm a little. He took the front of his foot and wiggled it in between Strahm’s under the table. He saw Strahm shift his posture as his legs moved to the side and let Hoffman’s foot wander closer. With a guess, Hoffman lifted his foot up and used his tiptoes to put some pressure on Strahm’s crotch. The other man made a choking noise and hid his mouth in his hand, but Hoffman pressed a little bit more against the growing bulge in the agent’s pants. “Oh honey. What’s got you so bothered, huh? Is it my appetite; you know shoveling food into my face?”

“I…” Strahm started to say. He wanted to deny it this time again, but realized there was no hiding from Hoffman. “Yeah.”

“There, was it that hard to talk to me, your bride?” Hoffman scoffed, flipping his hair back against his shoulders as he sat so his feet would be crossed under the table. Strahm whined softly at the loss of pressure from Hoffman’s foot. “Now be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

“Just eat a bit more than you normally would.” He replied, “I mean… you’re eating for two.”

“Ah yes, how could I forget.” Hoffman smirked and called the waiter over and ordered a second plate of pasta for himself, “It wouldn’t do me any good to deliver a baby while I’m wasting away.” Strahm could only nod as the waiter dropped the plate down in front of Hoffman. He offered to get Strahm another bread bowl, which Strahm was more than happy to accept.

“This is really good. Have a bite, hon.” Hoffman held the fork out across the table and Strahm took it from the detective. He nodded and handed the utensil back to Hoffman before Hoffman continued eating. Hoffman let a sigh escape from his lips and rested his free hand on his stomach. “I don’t know how I’m going to finish this.”

“It’s only half a plate.” Strahm mumbled under his breath, “I’m sure you can find room in there.”

“I know I could, but…”

“But what?”

“I just don’t know how I could find room.”

“Come here.” Strahm huffed. Hoffman carefully slid from his seat and used a hand to brace his back as he got up. He firmly sat down on Strahm’s lap and looked into his partner’s eyes. Strahm’s hands rested on Hoffman’s hips for a second before turning him around on his knee, making Hoffman face the table. A hand spread across the center of Hoffman’s swollen stomach and Strahm used his fingertips to massage away the tension.

“Oh that’s it, hon.” Hoffman whispered, backing his ass further into Strahm’s lap. Strahm let out a weak noise as his erection rubbed against the fabric of his dress pants. His hands sunk further into Hoffman’s belly as he tried to keep his composure. Hoffman leaned back into Strahm’s chest and let himself get felt up by the FBI agent. He pulled his hair back all one way to make sure it was on Strahm’s shoulder as the other man worked at the tense ball of flesh. “Bet you could feel the baby kick if I really had one in there.”

Strahm made a small grunt of approval that came out as a ‘Mhm’.

“Hell if I eat anymore,” Hoffman started, “I might look like I’m carrying twins. You’d like that wouldn’t you, you sick fuck?”

“If I said I did?” Strahm replied quietly

“I might have to push you over the edge.” Hoffman peeled himself off of Strahm’s lap and went back to his seat across from his partner. He ate the rest of his pasta without much fanfare and pushed the plate away from himself before grabbing the dessert menu that sat on the center of the table. Strahm moved his seat closer to the table and hid his face behind the palms of his hands as Hoffman flipped through his options. “What do you think the babies would like, honey?”

“Why are you asking me, you’re the one with the cravings. Right babe?” Strahm teased Hoffman

“You’re right, honey.” Hoffman giggled like a school girl. As soon as he did that he scoffed under the ends of his wig. Who the fuck was that in his body just now that made him act like a ditz? When the waiter came back to ask about dessert Hoffman ordered tiramisu and two cannoli. He thanked the waiter as he returned and carefully slipped the bill over to Strahm. With a small ‘No Rush’, the man walked away as quickly as he could. Strahm looked it over for a second and looked up at Hoffman. He was being obnoxious about it, but Hoffman sucked the cream out from the cannoli shell and used the edge of his tongue to clean the powder sugar off the center of his lips. He gave Strahm a knowing wink as Strahm buried his face back into the bill holder. Hoffman snaked his hand behind the envelope and tugged on Strahm’s tie, forcing him to look back at Hoffman’s gaze.

“Give your poor wife some of your attention, mi amor. Surely the bill can wait?” His lips curled at their ends and Strahm slid the bill aside, firmly placing his elbows on the table as he watched Hoffman. He hid his mouth behind his hands and kept his eyes moving, trying to avoid eye contact. Hoffman snaps his fingers in Strahm’s face and brings up a little spoonful of the tiramisu up to his lips. Strahm takes the bit willingly, only to hear a soft coo from Hoffman. “That’s it. You’re being so good.”

“Didn’t know you spoke Spanish.” Strahm muttered to himself, only for Hoffman to return Strahm’s self-deflecting barb with a smile. Hoffman finished his desserts and used a hand to brace his back a little as he leaned into his seat. Strahm slipped a couple twenties into the envelope and pulled Hoffman up onto his feet. He wrapped an arm around Hoffman’s waist and guided him out of the restaurant. His hand rested on the slight bulge in Hoffman’s dress, making the man look like he was a couple months along with a baby. Hoffman wove his fingers in between the spaces of Strahm’s and the couple strolled out of the restaurant, Strahm practically pushing Hoffman back to his car.

“Maybe I wanted to look around.” Hoffman dropped his voice back down to his normal tone and gave Strahm a look, “Or are you too impatient?” He knew it was risky, but Strahm pulled Hoffman into an alleyway and after making sure there weren’t cooks out on their smoke breaks, he pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s.

“I love you…” He moaned Hoffman’s mouth. Hoffman pushed Strahm off of him for a second before looking at him. Strahm opened his eyes and thought for a second about what he had said. He had dropped the big ‘l’ word while making out with a man behind a restaurant in New York.

And hell, he meant it too.

“I love you.” He repeated, this time a bit more quiet. Still loud enough for Hoffman to hear, but it was only for the other man’s ears. Hoffman pulled him back on top of him by the collar of his shirt and bit down on his lip as their kisses became less rational and more about the contact between them. Strahm ripped Hoffman’s coat off his shoulders and threw it to the ground, after which Hoffman wriggled out of Strahm’s hold to pick the garment up. Strahm rolled his eyes, but then remembered the credit card statement from that purchase and helped Hoffman clean the jacket up so the muck from the street wouldn’t ruin the jacket. After that was back in working order, Hoffman started to sprint towards the garage where Strahm’s car waited for the two of them. When they got into the corner where his Crown Victoria was, Strahm threw the jacket on top of the roof of his car and pinned Hoffman to vehicle. Strahm pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s neck and with a soft mewl Hoffman said in his falsetto,

“Say it again, Agent.”

“I love you.” Strahm replied. His voice was deep and guttural as he lapped his tongue at the skin of Hoffman’s neck like it was a spring in the middle of a desert. “I love you.”

“That’s a good boy.” He worked a hand through the back of Strahm’s hair before dropping again, “I have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?” Strahm looked up sheepishly at Hoffman, his eyelashes accentuating his fondness for the detective. Hoffman made a quick ‘tisk’ with his tongue and said, “I need to hear it, Agent Strahm.”

“I’m wrapped around your damn finger. I’m your little bitch. Is that what you wanted?”

“More than enough.” Hoffman pulled the other man back on top of him, using his tie like it was a leash. He hooked a leg around the back of Strahm’s leg and used Strahm’s outer thigh to give himself some friction in his lace underwear.

“I need you.” Strahm let the words slip from his lips again with desperation. Hoffman used his hands and shoved Strahm off him before getting into the car. Strahm scuttled around to the other side of the car, turned the vehicle on, and flipped through the radio stations.

“And there’s congestion on the 495 as far as the eye can see bringing your commute home to about an hour…” The radio personality said as Strahm turned it off.

“All that time in the car.” Hoffman’s fingers were already trailing up in the space between Strahm’s pecs, “How are you going to make it, Agent?”

“Thank god we’re not in Midtown.” Strahm cursed under his breath, ignoring that his bulge was growing with every playful press of Hoffman’s fingertips on his chest. Strahm scanned the signs and picked the next accessible exit for him and looked for a garage that would be quiet enough for them. Strahm put the car in park and got out of his car before thinking to tell Hoffman what his plan was. He thought for a second before telling the other man, “Get in the back seat.”

“Okay.” Hoffman got out of the passenger seat and slid into the back. Strahm took his coat and laid it on the concrete before getting down on his knees, “Aren’t we moving a little fast there honey?”

“Shut up.” Strahm worked a hand slowly up the inside of Hoffman’s dress and kissed over the bulge underneath the loose fabric. Hoffman groaned softly and lifted the end of his outfit up so that his stomach was still covered, but his legs were exposed. Strahm grabs the waistline of his tights and when they don’t come off Hoffman’s legs fast enough his nails leave streaks in the fabric.

“Remind me to buy another pair next time we’re at the mall.” Hoffman muttered to himself “Come on.”

“I’m going as fast as I can.” Strahm growled back at his partner. When the stockings were down around Hoffman’s ankles Strahm kissed the inside of Hoffman’s thighs. He wrapped a hand underneath the meaty flesh as his teeth sunk in, sure to mark up his partner’s thigh. Not that anyone else would see these. This was for his eyes only. The way that Hoffman glared down at him as he took his time to service him, the love bites he left for himself later… it was all his. Strahm let a hot breath escape from his mouth and saw Hoffman’s dick twitch a little inside the silk panties he was wearing. Rather than free him, Strahm pressed his lips onto the skimpy waistband that almost dug into Hoffman’s thick hips before letting his tongue roam down to the seam on the bottom of the lingerie.

“I don’t think you are.” Hoffman pulled him back using a firm grasp on the strands of his hair

“Fine.” Strahm took the panties and slid them down to Hoffman’s ankles just above the leggings and in a swift motion found his mouth around Hoffman’s cock

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard was it?” Hoffman teased. His hand found the back of Strahm’s head once more. He awkwardly managed to get his legs hooked around Strahm’s neck and rested his calves on Strahm’s back. Strahm slid his hand under one of Hoffman’s ass cheeks and started to slow bob his head along the length of Hoffman’s dick. He pressed his tongue against Hoffman’s tip and looked up as Mark’s eyes were shut tight. Everything in cross-dressing man’s body worked against him. His legs getting weak, his eyes wanting to roll all the way to the back of his head, his mouth threatening to let a moan escape if Strahm’s mouth got any warmer around his cock. He hit the back of Strahm’s head lightly and shifted so his back laid flat against the ugly seats in the back of Strahm’s car. He arched his back a little before Strahm’s hand laid flat against the fat of Hoffman’s stomach and pushed him back down onto the fabric. Strahm continued to thrust Hoffman's dick deeper into his throat until it triggered his gag reflex. He pulled his mouth off for a second and Hoffman lifted his head up. He was so damn close and if Strahm didn’t finish servicing him he was going make Strahm regret it. Strahm looked at him with a slight smirk before wrapping his lips back around Hoffman. A couple more bobs of his head and Hoffman came into Strahm’s mouth.

“God damn…” Strahm coughed as he attempted to swallow every last bit of Hoffman’s cum. He pulled himself off of Hoffman once more, and Hoffman lifted his hand up to Strahm’s lip. He paused for a moment before wiping the last drop off the soft skin and brought his finger up to his own lips. He waited while Strahm sheepishly slid Hoffman’s panties back up his legs and did his best to adjust the tights so they wouldn’t trip the other man on the walk to the passenger seat. When he got Strahm’s undivided attention once more, he licked his fingertip clean and sucked on it. Strahm leaned in and kissed him, resting a hand on the side of Hoffman’s neck as he stood over the detective.

“Say it.” Hoffman demanded of Strahm. Strahm hesitated for a second before saying “I love you” one more time. Hoffman sat up in his seat and ran a hand across Strahm’s chest. “When am I going to hear it from you, huh?”

“When I feel like it.” Hoffman pressed his lips onto Strahm’s cheek and with a stiff finger pushed Strahm off of him. They got back into their respective seats and before Strahm took off he flipped on the radio once more. Traffic had cleared up, and they headed back to Hoffman’s house. Hoffman unlocked the door and leaned against Strahm as they stood in the entryway. “What do you want?”

“On the couch.” Strahm replied

“Oh. Can’t even wait for the bedroom?” Hoffman teased him, kicking his heels off with wild abandonment before stepping over to the couch. He sat down and Strahm sat down beside him. “That it?”

“No. Put your feet up.”

“Okay.” Hoffman raised an eyebrow and slung his legs over onto the couch. Strahm wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tucked Mark’s head onto his shoulder. “What’s this Agent?”

“That post-coitus cuddle I was looking for in DC.” Strahm said without missing a beat. Hoffman shrugged and sat with him while Strahm turned on the TV. He was pretty happy, but Hoffman wanted more. He could tell Strahm wanted more too. So to drive up the tension a bit, Hoffman rested a hand on the inside of Strahm’s thigh. When Peter seemingly ignored that gesture he worked his hand over in small circles.

“C’mon. I’m down for something.”

“What?” Strahm’s Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed back the dryness in his throat

“Let me be in control this time.” Hoffman hooked a leg over Strahm’s lap and sat there. He pulled Strahm’s dress shirt out from his pants and worked a couple of the buttons open. Next, he took off Strahm’s belt and threw it towards the kitchen, making sure to toss it in the opposite direction of the TV. Underneath him, Strahm turned the TV off. Whatever was on wasn’t getting him in the mood. Strahm lifted his head up to kiss Hoffman’s neck, and as badly as he wanted Strahm to kiss him, Hoffman pushed him back into his couch. “I said, let me be in control, Agent.”

“Fine.” Strahm muttered under his breath and let his hands rest squarely on Hoffman’s hips. Hoffman bucked his hips slowly up into the slight muffin top sitting on Strahm’s stomach. Strahm made a soft grunt as Hoffman continued to roll his hips up against him for a moment until he moved back a ways. He tugged Strahm’s fly zipper down and slid Strahm’s pants and underwear down far enough that he had easy access to his dick. Hoffman huffed as he realized what he wanted to do involved having to get up, but pulled himself off of Strahm for a second to slip his tights and panties off. He threw them to the side and plopped his full weight down onto Strahm’s lap once more. The man under him made a grunt noise as his body braced for the other man’s weight, and Hoffman leaned into him. He took his face and kissed it, snaking a hand under the bottom of Strahm’s open shirt.

“I thought I was the chubby chaser.” Strahm remarked dryly

“Didn’t say that I didn’t like people with a little�� heft to them.” Hoffman responded in kind. His hand rested on Strahm’s stomach before working through the hairs that grew along there. “I’ve been quite restrained with you so far, Agent. So I ask you, are you willing to trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“I want to hear you say that you’re willing.”

“I’m willing to trust you.” Strahm sighed and looked up at Hoffman. Something so devious hiding in those eyes, but Strahm couldn’t put his finger on it. Hoffman groaned softly before getting up and walking quickly. He comes back with a bottle of lube and coats Strahm’s dick liberally before taking Strahm up his ass. Strahm let out a moan as Hoffman’s hole closed around his dick. “Fuck.”

“Like that, huh?”

“Yes.” Strahm continued to moan. Hoffman saw Strahm getting ready to move his hips so he moved his hands over the sides of his hips and applied a bit of pressure. He bucked up into Strahm furiously, riding his partner until he gave up. He saw Strahm’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he came quickly into Hoffman’s hole. Hoffman continued to thrust himself up and down until Strahm’s back slumped back into the couch. Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm’s dick, but stayed seated on Strahm’s lap for a second, putting Strahm's hands on his hips.

“I love you.” Hoffman ran the back of his finger along Strahm’s jaw and looked into his eyes. Strahm nudged Hoffman off of his lap and guided the other man’s stubborn body back into the position they’d been in when they first started sitting there. “You’re not going to say anything about that?”

“About what?”

“About me saying ‘I love you’.”

“It’s an honor.” Strahm replied dryly. He pulled Hoffman’s wig off and caressed his cheek with a careful hand. Strahm pulled a blanket over his lap, only for Hoffman to steal half of it for himself as they cuddled. A couple swipes across Hoffman’s shoulder through the night, a touch against Strahm’s chest… it felt comfortable. Strahm almost didn’t want the night to end, but when he felt his eyelids growing heavy he lifted the blanket up and stood. Hoffman tried to grab the blanket back but before he could Strahm tucked an arm under Hoffman’s legs and lifted him.

“Jesus.” Mark stared back at the couch before wrapping an arm around Strahm’s neck. “The hell are you going to do now?”

“Care you to bed, idiot.” Strahm said, making the move across the room and to their bedroom. He dropped Hoffman carefully onto the mattress and let out a deep sigh before lying next to his partner. Resting on his side, he leaned in and said “I love you… Dumbass.”

“I love you too, jackass.” Hoffman smirked as he kissed Strahm’s cheek before they both drifted off.

[hoffstrap-yuri]

Bad Idea, Right?

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary: Peter Strahm goes over to Det. Hoffman's house to get more information about the Jigsaw case. Should be simple enough, right?

*Rating: +18 for explicit mature content

*Content/Tags: Feeding Kink, PWP, Feedee Peter Strahm, Feeder Mark Hoffman

*Status: Oneshot/Complete

Strahm used his free hand to massage his temples. He blinked a couple of times to wet his eyes once more and got out of his car. He grabbed his bag and slung his suit jacket over his forearm before closing the door. He walked over to the door before him, hesitating to turn the knob before getting over his trepidation.

“You know.” A man said, stepping out of the kitchen and leaned against the wall frame. He crossed his arms in front of him and raised an eyebrow, “Most guests knock before entering someone’s house.”

“Sorry. Thought I could come in.” The other man, slightly taller, replied.

“Have a seat in here, Agent Strahm.” He made a gesture towards the kitchen table and Strahm walked over to the little set-up. At most the table was only ever meant to seat two people, but it was clear that the vinyl on one chair was a little more worn than the other. Strahm could see why a man who lived alone would choose to sit there. Clear sight line to the entryway. If he craned his head up just so, then he could see into the lot behind the house. The other seat didn’t offer nearly this level of security and while he was the guest in the Detective’s home, he sat at the less used seat. Something was cooking on the stove behind Strahm that reminded Strahm of home. Sitting in his nonna’s kitchen on Sunday’s after church, trying to get a sample of the spaghetti sauce before she caught him and hit the back of his hand with a wooden spoon. He smiled to himself as the other man put the lid back on whatever it was he was cooking, bolognese if Strahm remembered correctly.

“You didn’t have to cook for me.” Strahm cleared his throat and adjusted his tie.

“I know, but I wanted to. You look like you haven’t had a decent meal in months, before you even came here.” Hoffman sat down in his preferred seat

“What makes you think I haven’t had a good meal?” Strahm was borderline offended, not because he was wrong but because of how easy the other man seemed to read him.

“For a man your age you’re rather thin. Though you have some bulk in your center you’re not big by any means.” Hoffman leaned into the table, putting an elbow up as he shared a gaze with Agent Strahm. There seemed to be an implication behind his movements that Hoffman meant that Strahm wasn’t as big as he was. He seemed to answer Strahm’s puzzled look with a slight smirk that exuded confidence. Almost… flirtatious? “Probably from a couple years of fast food.”

“Truly your detective powers of perception are impeccable.” Strahm remarked, rather dryly

“Then I’m right? That’s all that matters to me.”

“That’s not…” Strahm started but shook his head, “Anyway, I came here to talk about the case.”

“Right.” Hoffman crossed his legs under the table and Strahm pulled the file from his bag. He went to pin up the details onto the wall as a force of habit, but then realized that he wasn’t in his little office with a pin board. After this gaff, he spread the files across the table hoping that Hoffman didn’t notice him. “Here’s what we know so far.”

“By we you mean…” Hoffman’s thought trailed off only for Strahm to answer

“Lindsay and I.”

“Of course.”

“And we were hoping if there was any supplemental information you could provide us about Agent Kerry or the jigsaw murders at all, now would be a good time…”

“I do actually.” Hoffman got up from the table and brought his files over, leaving them in a nice stack to the side of Strahm’s flurry of papers. “This one looks the most promising. Similar modus operandi, similar tape…”

“Awesome.” Strahm took the file from Hoffman’s hands and thumbed through the papers. “And you were sure this murder was committed by Amanda Young and not John Kramer?”

“That’s what the evidence suggests.”

“Then it’s not confirmed?”

“It’s still an open case, agent.” Hoffman replied

“Okay.” Strahm took a deep breath and looked closer over another file Hoffman brought to him

“Dinner’s ready as well.” Hoffman commented, towering over Strahm and leaning against the chair

“Okay.” Strahm replied absentmindedly as Hoffman dished himself up a plate. Hoffman looked the FBI agent up and down while the agent’s eyes remained glued to the papers before him. Hoffman had finished eating and cleaned up his plate before Strahm moved on to the next case. He walked over to the table and cleaned up Strahm’s pile, leaving out what Strahm had pointed out early as the most pertinent information.

“You know, agent. It’s really rude of you to come over and not eat anything after your host has made something for you.”

Strahm knew the second the words slipped out that that was the beginning of the end for him, “I mean I didn’t ask you to make anything for me.” He could hear his grandmother shouting at him from the beyond. Hoffman gave him a look that Strahm tried to dismiss at the time, but knew he’d more than upset the other man.

“The food’s getting cold.” Hoffman replied, pulling Strahm close by his necktie. “Now I would suggest, you start eating.”

“Or what?” Strahm scoffed

“I’ll just feed you myself.”

“I’m not a toddler, I can feed myself just fine, thank you.” Strahm cleaned up his space on the table fully and went over to the stove. He picked up the plate that Hoffman had left next to the pot of sauce then grabbed a tongs worth of noodles before carefully ladling on the sauce. The texture was thinner than the sauce his grandmother made, but it still had a familiar smell to it. He only covered maybe half the plate and brought his meal back to the table. “There, can we talk about the case now?”

“At least tell me whether it’s to your liking, Agent.” Hoffman rested his head on his knuckles and waited for Strahm to take a bite. Strahm rolled his eyes and brought a forkful up to his mouth. He paused for a second before eventually taking a bite.

“Could use a couple seconds in the microwave.” Strahm muttered under his breath. Hoffman took the plate from out under him and popped it into his microwave. Anger was rising in Strahm’s voice as he told Hoffman, “You know, I am a grown man. I could’ve done it myself, Detective.”

“And have you take 20 minutes to do that? Fat chance.” Hoffman crossed his arms as he waited for the familiar ding of the appliance. He brought the plate back over to the agent and sat across from him once more. “Is that better?”

“Yeah.” Strahm replied quickly in between a bite. He wanted to mouth off a bit more, something about Hoffman’s people-pleasing nature that drove Strahm up the wall… but the food was pretty damn good. Hoffman looked over his shoulder back at the range before getting up once more and grabbing the plate of garlic bread to ring back to the table.

“Eat.” Hoffman said. There was no intonation change that made it sound like a question, but it definitely came off as a command. Strahm scowled before taking a piece of bread off the plate and shoving it into his mouth. He chewed at it while keeping his face even-tempered but enjoyed the garlic flavor. He looked over the piece with fondness, trying to remember the last time he had good quality garlic bread and not just as a side to some crappy Italian him and Lindsey would pick-up during their investigations. Hoffman’s hand got in Strahm’s face, snapping his attention back to the meal at hand. “At this rate you’ll be finished with dinner by bedtime.”

“So?” Strahm scoffed

“Hurry it up.” Hoffman got up from his chair, shoved a piece of garlic bread into Strahm’s mouth and placed his hand underneath Strahm’s jaw to guide the other man’s pace. Strahm tried to free himself from Hoffman’s grasp but his mouth was clamped in between Hoffman’s thumb and forefinger. Hoffman’s gaze lied square on Strahm’s face. A heavy sigh left Strahm’s nostrils after he finished the bread. Without hesitation, Hoffman brought a giant forkful of the spaghetti up to Strahm’s lips and nudged it into his mouth. “That’s a good boy.” Strahm’s whole body went weak for a second at those words. Something about Hoffman’s low voice saying that to him made him want to eat. Would Hoffman’s praise continue in that sultry voice if he did eat more? Before he could finish his bite another fork was brought up to Strahm’s mouth. His lips didn’t budge for a second, but after a growl let slip from Hoffman’s throat, Strahm slurped up the noodles. “You can go faster.”

“No, I really can’t.” Strahm rolled his eyes

“You can, and you will.” Hoffman replied back before shoving more pasta into Strahm’s mouth. “See that plate’s gone. That wasn’t hard.”

“You say that like I’m going to eat more.” Strahm groaned a little bit at the thought of being stuffed to the brim. Hoffman simply took his plate and refilled it with the same pasta to sauce ratio that Strahm had previously. Strahm looked up at him with incredulous eyes, but ate as the fork came back up to his mouth.

“And you still eat anyway.” Hoffman hummed as Strahm worked himself back up into a decent pace once more and ate the second plate of pasta. He let a heavy sigh escape from his lips and leaned back in his seat before quietly muttering,

“No more…”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” Hoffman feigned ignorance. He heard the other man just fine, and Strahm knew that but he had to repeat himself.

“I’m too full.” Strahm huffed

“Fine.” Hoffman replied before snaking a hand over Strahm’s shoulder and across his chest. Strahm made a soft grunt as the hand kept moving further south, resting on Strahm’s distended stomach

“What are you…” Strahm looked at Hoffman’s hand before moaning as his finger tips sunk slowly into the his overstuffed gut. His moan was interrupted by a slight burp before his hand covered his mouth. Strahm felt himself grow red in the face as Hoffman’s other hand worked in tandem to rub the bulge that spilled over his belt.

“How’s that?” Hoffman asked, leaning against Strahm’s ear as his fingers dug deeper. Rather than answer with words, another groan escaped from his mouth. “You’re never like this at work, Peter. Maybe I could get something done if I just threw some food in front of you and fawned over how well behaved you are.”

“Fat fucking…” Strahm started to say, getting cut off by some noise his body decided to release at that moment, “Fat fucking chance.”

“What would your partner think of you? Seeing you make a pig of yourself at your desk. She’d probably notice the way I’d slip a dozen donuts in front of you and their disappearance before lunch…” Hoffman whispered the copiously sweet nothings into Strahm’s ear as a hand slipped its way between Strahm’s legs. “You’ve been fighting it up until this point. Trying to eat as little as you can while your partner’s around so you don’t have to think about your lack of shame when it comes to sucking down food. Don’t fight it when I’m around. Give into me, Agent Strahm.”

Strahm could only respond with his teeth pressing into his lips, threatening to tear the skin open from the pressure. Hoffman’s lips were dangerously close to Strahm’s cheek, he wanted that connection so badly. Hoffman knew this, and so he kept it from Strahm as his hands worked the belt off Strahm’s waist. Next came the fly of Strahm’s pants which Hoffman unzipped, carefully palming at the erection that was hiding under Strahm’s clothes. Hoffman gave the other man a couple of quick pumps with his hand before fully committing to jerking him off. Strahm’s dick sat squarely in Hoffman’s hand for a moment before he focused on giving the Agent long strokes along the length. Strahm grunted and his foot jerked up, hitting one of the legs of the table. Hoffman could only make a small ‘tisk’ noise as Strahm tried to keep himself composed while the other man got him off. Hoffman’s free hand trailed up Strahm’s shirt before resting just below Strahm’s pecs. A breath of hot air rolled along Strahm’s neck and he jolted as he came onto the underside of Hoffman’s dining room table. As he felt himself coming down from his stuffed high, he heard Hoffman whisper over his head some iteration of “Good boy” over and over. He zipped himself back up, careful not to get the bottom of his work shirt caught in the fly. However, just before he could relax, Hoffman pulled the chair out from under Strahm and sent the other man falling to the floor. He cursed loudly and looked up at Hoffman.

“You made a mess. Now clean it.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do? Lick it off like I’m some kind of dog?”

“No.” Hoffman shook his head, “Just some pathetic pig.” Hoffman looked at the semen left on his thumb, and brought it up to his lips before letting the appendage dip fully into his mouth. After that was clear, he made a show of licking the cum left on his palm off from the center up. Strahm leaned forward a bit before he felt the press of Hoffman’s foot on his back, forcing him back down onto all fours. Strahm growled in response but got up to the table and dipped his tongue into his mess. He gagged a little bit, wondering how Hoffman had managed to make the substance look so alluring as he swallowed it off his hand. He felt Hoffman’s big toe digging deeper into his back as he refused to lick the cum off, so he slowly began to lap at it. “You really don’t have any shame do you, Agent?”

“Shut up.” He turned his head back to argue, only to realize that there was no winning in this scenario. He turned back around and continued licking up his semen for Hoffman’s pleasure. When most of the white was gone, and could easily be cleaned up with a rag, Hoffman helped Strahm back onto the chair. His hands gravitated back to Strahm’s stomach and finally gave Strahm the ever elusive peck on the cheek he’d been expecting during their whole liaison. Strahm’s hands, which had been oddly still up until this point, forced Hoffman’s lips over to meet his and they kissed for a moment. Hoffman’s hands clutched at the collar of Strahm’s shirt and pulled him up onto his feet before guiding Strahm up against a wall. His shoulder blade hit the drywall, definitely leaving a mark. Hoffman growled into their kiss before pulling himself off. “Gave up already, fucker?”

“No. No. Just you’ve probably worked off all those calories I packed into you.” Hoffman laughed lowly, his lips meeting with Strahm’s neck. “Think you can fit in some dessert?” Strahm mulled the offer over for a second before shaking his head. “Shame. I make a damn good lobster tail.” He pulled Strahm by the collar of his shirt and brought him to his bedroom. Maybe one more round and Strahm would have the room for something more.

[barkhoffman]

Feederism is MY kink and I’m gonna infect the Saw fandom with it. I’m already the #1 fat and hairy bear Mark Hoffman truther and now I will evolve

I think Mark is both a feeder and a feedee. He enjoys the process of cooking/providing for his sub, watching them gorge themselves on his food and rubbing their swollen and achy tummies. He’s an older brother and with how he reacted to Angelina’s death, I think he’s got some pretty strong caretaker instincts so being able to feed someone hits the perfect spot for him. And if after the meal, his sub is soft, round and a little in that dream-like state and wants to suck on something else? Well who is he to deny them~

(Could you imagine Hoffman cooing down at his sub (Strahm) to finish the plate and showering him in praise when the other man finally licks it clean? I could swoon)

On the flip side, I think he would absolutely adore being pampered. Rip Saw 7 ending Mark Hoffman, he would’ve loved to be fed a 7 course meal by hand while sitting pretty at his Doms feet. He would get little head pats every time he takes food gently (no teeth/nipping) and sucks his Doms fingers. His already soft fluffy tummy would get bigger with each bite until he has to go lay down on the couch or else his cramps would kill him. He’d be so full and satisfied and happy 🥰🥰🥰

(I also think Strahm would get a kick out of the control he has over Hoffmans body. Like being able to put anything down in front of the detective and he eats it without question, that kind of trust could go to a man’s head)

Thanks for coming to my dinner party :>

gotta admit anon, I've never really been into feederism, but the way you described it is tres appealing honhonhon

especially subby post-3D Hoffman... wow... someone needs to tame that boy... Lawrence shoulda kept him and not locked him in the corpse bathroom to die

quick question how do you feel about the Hannibal show btw