#it would mean a lot rn <3
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kofi 🤍 onlyfans 🤍
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plays with durgetash like barbies
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#durgetash#enver gortash#the dark urge#bg3 durge#oc: idrael#FINALLY….. FINALLY GOT MODS TO WORK#on my steam deck of all things but still#i spent ssssooooo many hours last night finding romance scenes and making them durgetash instead#i would have gone for the new kisses too but it seems they don’t wanna work with the mods i have installed rn#so that will have to wait i guess but in the mean time!!!!!! i am loving these#got some shots of sascha with halsin too but there’s a lot more of a size disparity between him and gale and lae’zel#so i couldn’t get too many but still. oh to see my blorbos kissing all their LIs……#AND!!!! to see idrael with a better hairstyle…. i am thriving#limited edition post
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[ID: a digital illustration of Luz and Hunter from the owl house. Luz sits on the right with her hand on hunter's shoulder. Hunter sits on the left facing Luz. They're both in their designs from the end of Thanks to Them. Hunter has his eyes closed and is crying with a pained expression, while Luz looks on with tears in her eyes. The background is dark and the scene is dimly lit. The second image is a variation on the first image where a spectral version of flapjack sits on hunter's shoulder and Manny's hand in on Luz's shoulder. End ID]
Felt like posting something devious today. Do you think they'll ever talk about what they've lost? Bond over it? Mourn??? Grieve????
#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#luz noceda#hunter noceda#flapjack toh#(BARELY i did not put the effort into that bird that i should've)#manny noceda#(also barely but I feel like it's more obvious here)#i sketched this out months ago when TTT first aired but the lines were giving me trouble and i shelved it#until now when i really just wanted to finish something but wasn't happy with any of my sketches#it was inspired by the interview dana did where she said grief would be a major theme of season 3#both bc it scared me and also bc it made me start thinking ''hm okay. which characters are grieving rn and how might they interact?''#my money's still on darius if hunter does get to talk through some of his grief in the next few eps#(just to tie a nice bow on their relationship and maybe dicuss the previous gg a bit more and flesh darius' motives out)#but like. luz is his sister. grief is sooo central to her arc as well it's like. even if they don't get time in canon#(which is understandable. they do not have a lot of time rn for extended fanfic-esque character exploration conversations)#but that doesn't mean i can't rotate the idea in my mind at terminal velocity until i get sick#i would apologize for not posting festive art at this time of year rn BUT YKNOW WHAT. I'VE HAD A ROUGH COUPLE OF HOLIDAY SEASONS#THIS COUNTS AS FESTIVE FOR ME!#it's getting better this year though. slowly#anyway this piece isn't perfect and there's a few bits I'm not happy w/ that i could've spent more time on#but to my own credit i pushed myself to use reference and do a (albeit simple) pose I don't normally do!#so props to me in that sense#anyway happy holidays! think abt these devastatingly sad children with me please!
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OC Crossovers (1/3): Tea Time with Myr and Lidija (@myrmyrtheorca 's OCs!) Kurumi may or may not be telling Lidija about shoujo manga while Myr is just chilling there and relaxing from the nice atmosphere.
#khr#khre#khr oc#oc#einart#ninomiya kurumi#khr killer whale#myr killer whale#lidija killer whale#myrmyrtheorca#ninomiya kanako#me trying to cope from the hell level temp that is a SEA country temp#by imagining it's around the transition of autumn to winter there#and they're having warm tea while discussing various topics in a kotatsu#i say while suddenly remembering how i opened the faucet earlier and the supposed cold running water is already preheated by the weather#ALSO THE 1/3 COUNTER IS FOR REAL THIS TIME I ALR HAVE 2 OTHER SKETCHES WITH OTHER FRIENDS' OCS PROCESSING IN GL4ZE RN#bc the other times i put a counter it didn't end up having a next part sdjfbsdfjhbds#also yeah those tea are csp 3d assets lmaooo if im gonna be fr here i only know how to draw beautiful wome--- i mean people#plus my body pain is flaring like crazy the past few days i keep passing out#so i can't do full colored pieces too much ueueueue#BODY PAIN WON'T STOP ME FROM DRAWING OCS THO#anyway i hope i was able to draw myr and lidija correctly; did my best to do so sdjfshjvf they're so 🥹🥹💖💖#i esp think lidija and kurumi would get along a lot#then myr would often get caught off guard by kurumi's compliments hehe#kana is just sizing them up and observing from afar; she's just very wary like that#wow im glad they do those “see more” thingie for tags so i can go free real estate in here
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hi 👋
#rambling#hi 👋#i know its been a while since i've posted#but i still lurk on here regularly :p#i dont really care to create content or scroll+rb anymore#but i'll keep in touch through dms if anyone wants to <3 or we can exchange discord info💞#i've become more active on twitter? 🤡🤮 but i still feel more comfy typing long rambles here lmao#theres a lot of ateez stuff if u end up looking at it#i been going through stuff the last few months :p#N E WAYS i've decided that i wanna leave my job in a few months 🙈#and the stress of it made me wanna come back here and use this blog like a diary 🙈🙈#i mean. it feels like it's the right time for me to leave#it's just the anxiety of not knowing >.<#also job huntings the worst 🤮🤮🤮🤮#but im ready for a change ^^#and i wanna be optimistic!! so im manifesting that the whole ordeal goes smoothly and im not unemployed for long!!!🙏#if u read all this. i love u and i hope u have an awesome week!! :) 💖💖💖#also reply with something good that happened to u recently!#celebrating u would help cheer me up rn :')#otherwise. have a good night! see u space cowboy
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ITS DANCE TIME 🩰
#i havent been very active lately and keep meaning to get some sort of habit started now that im chillin a lot more#and ive been trying to tell myself to dance specifically!#i love it more than basic exercises and stretches/barre is a very non-intimidating place to start#and will get me back into the swing of more intense moves easily#i finished my ballet au art in the hopes it would inspire me and then i still kept putting it off#but for real this time!!! im doing it!!!#i dont think i brought my pointe shoes to the apartment but i have my slippers :3#i dont know if id want to jump right into pointe to be fair asdfsdf#*transforms into a magical girl ballerina and blasts my depression away with a massive pink laser beam*#thats not whats going to happen but by god am i going to try rn 😂#rose rambles
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"she met a pinecone's fate" was hysterical the first time around and it's still funny but the longer I think about it the more unsure I actually am about the line
#it just feels so. callous. or like. it doesn't FEEL callous cause it's not portrayed that way and you laugh and I'm still laughing#but like. it's callous that is a callous thing to say and it's not like percy doesn't have dickishness to spare#but on this specific thing? really? he's not like that#like. this is after being told the full story so he knows what happened to thalia#and his response to effectively hearing about how this girl died for her friends and not just any friends but the people he's with rn#is “she met a pinecone's fate” a like. dismissive joke about what happened to her#like in the books percy empathizes with thalia's situation he feels for her it's tragic it's a somber moment😭😭#she was a demigod more powerful than the others she was hunted even more than they usually are (percy relates)#and she died for her friends (definitely something percy relates to and would value lol)#and on TOP OF THAT. to say this in front of grover and annabeth? who clearly loved her a lot??#like. percy doesn't like annabeth atp but he doesn’t hate her enough to be crossing those sorts of lines??#and GROVER. is literally his best friend. can you not figure that thalia's death probably weighs on him#oh wait I just remembered at that point in the episode he doesn't know grover was with them lol sorry ignore that bit#anyway. like I get it it's funny and they have a lightly antagonistic relationship in ttc so it's funny!!#like haha he's ALREADY getting his digs in!!#but. idk. feels a bit mean :/#pjo#pjo tv#dropping episode 3 thoughts mere hours before episode 4 lmao#I'm not gonna be able to watch 4 tonight though lol
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unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head
#“I'm right next to you” are we about to kiss. are you trying to kiss me right neow#i hate the chase sequence part (corny and unoriginal) but everything else is so perfect#hEeEeLP MEeEeEE#i fuckign love vivilly anyway but i think the vivilly dweller is what Really did it fr me#SERIOUSLY THOUGJ WHAT THE FUCK#i would make a palpers dweller but i dont think my computer can with how shit it is rn#like i definitely will at some point (unless someone beats me to it) but i just can't rn 😭#i csnt wait for august viv face reveal guys!!!! YAY!!!! idc what he looks like he will always be so splinkoid#plus whatever characteristics he has i can kinda just add on to my design to him behind his mask#i color his skin as dark grey just for his mc skin but seeing his snapchat n stuff makes me wanna show him off as rhe eyeblinding man he is#or not! who knows . i have a tendency to do whatever#okay speakijg of his face reveal#i have something i want to explain to the wall#a part of me is hoping he isnt generic conventionally attractive guy 38495839488#the rest of me is neutral because idrc#the reason why is most likely because i would feel a deeper connection to him if we shared similar facial features#it's a good reason i think? but still weird to have because i shouldnt really care what he looks like at all#idk what to expect really but i guess i should be open minded abt it#I JUST. a lot of how i perceive him is through his mc character#that played a big part in how i grew to like him so much#but he ISN'T emo hoodie minecraft shyguy!!!#however i can still enjoy the 'persona' he has online. chill sarcastic insane funny blocky shyguy who does a little (A LOT OF) trolling#anyway back to what i was saying#hope bro isn't majestic as fuck irl#IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE DREAM I'M GOING TO CRY#DREAM IS MAJESTIC AS FUCK I CANT EVEN WITH THAT MAN#i will be supportive anyway ofc because 1) i dont care even though i just proved that i do 2) i can separate persona from irl person 3)...U#IM SO NORMAL#also we're not goijg toctalkcabou t the dream thing. if youre my irl yoy didnt aee this (PLEASE DONT UNFRIEND ME OELASE#DONT LEAVE JUST FORGER Iなはoops didnt mean to type thatSAID THAT OKAY
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There are 7 locked attaché cases in my office that were there before I started working here and will presumably always be there. I don’t know what’s in them and I try to just ignore them.
#however they all have analog combination locks on them. so if I’m ever alone in the office I could *try* to open them#it’s a 3 digit code so it’s not like there’s THAT many possible combinations#I mean that’s still a lot but not insurmountable#I can’t fucking remember how to do middle school math rn. how do you calculate how many possible codes that would be. fuck#EDIT: ok it’s a thousand. that’s kind of a lot
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okay not dropping out 👍
#mostly bc i am on my period rn and i stand by the idea that you should not make big life decisions while actively bleeding and feeling sad#but also my current two career options are a) writer. which is not a stable income source. and b) librarian which i need a degree for anywa#i mean there is c) astrophysicist but atm i would rather gnaw my own arm off than stay in uni a moment longer than necessary#i do not think i am built for academia let’s just put it that way. and you kinda absolutely need a phd for astro jobs#we’ll see in 2026 i guess. i know i want to work this summer and replenish my frankly depressing savings#but the summer after i might look at work experience and placements and see if there are any astro related ones#idk. i just miss home a lot and i’m always bored and stressed and every time i think about money i feel physically unwell <3#morganposting#i wonder if anyone actually reads these. what even are they. diary entires slash record of mental decline?? idk#if you do read them just know that this was supposed to be a fandom blog not 60% diary. i’m sorry and i love you <3
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is it normal to very often even a little while after eating be ravagingly starvingly hungry to the point of feeling like ur insides are being clawed out
#actually idk if im hungry rn because food doesn’t seem appetising but i am in physical pain#its so hard like. ‘this means you should eat more’ i eat literally a normal amount now…. some would even say a lot…..#like it’s literally been like 3 hours since i ate and yet im in actual pain😭#the other day my mom was like ‘hunger isnt painful it’s just discomfort’ girl ok you have never been priplerly hungry a day in your life.#apparently. but anyway this isnt Really pain rn i guess it is just discomfort but i knooow it’ll turn to pain soon because it always does#but no food i have seems even remotely appetising i cant do thissssss#whatever#personal
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...
#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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uhhh something something learn to love yourself dummy
(this is mostly a doodle, i wanted to draw Zuki w their past self for a while now so yayyyy)
#oc#my art#doodles#yeahhhh#i daydream a lot of angst when i listen to music#cause daydreaming slow things w music is hard#i feel like drawing this would help ease some anxiety for me#cause id finally get an idea i had for mizuki out there#the hard part w them as my s/i rn is that they arent improving w me#im trying to get better but their flaws sorta stay#which makes it harder for me to connect sometimes and occasionally harder to move foward#cause i gotta keep overriding self deprecating thoughts w good#and writing mizuki stuff sorta puts me back into square 1 (does that make sense idkkkkk)#and i could write them to improve w me but it also means acknoledging my constant changing fave and opinions on stuff#wahh its hard i wish i had consistency but im also happy to be as wild as i am#i just wanted to word my feelings a bit im not upset this is just a challenge im figuring out#anyway thanks if u read this ik its late but im happy if someone hears my weird thoughtsss#i appreciate ittt<3
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thinking of fairies that look like ferret + mourning doves. uh huh yep :>
#just me hi#ferret + seagull. otter + sparrow. snake + goose#give those wiggly creatures some more wiggle room hfbvsh :3#wouldn't they be neat!!#giving the snake goose parts because geese are cool. yea :>>#specifically canadian geese because they are some of my favorite bird lol#not for any good reason but i grew up with them and they are cool :D#mouse + pigeon. it would be so precious man [<- tears in eyes]#what other animals do i know? uuhmm#electric eel + american eagle. all for the worst reasons hgbfhshv#i don't know if electric eels are so mean but it would be funny finding out that way lmao :3#/NAH but a teeny mouse with a teeny frock with teeny pigeon wings. she has a little basket of bread crumbs. are you seeing it#pigeons <333#/giraffe + swan. they shall soar like none before hbsh#hmmm. humphead fish + hummingbird. i believe in him. he would do so well hfsvhhfs#wonder what kinda magic they would all do !#//anywho i have my things and stuffs i should be doing lol </3#recently i've been consistently overjoyed with remembering that i have something to work on hfsh#but it all feels like a lot rn. ooh well! i think i'll work on my panels :>#that or watch a movie. depends which one will tire me out faster lol#i need to. find an hour+ long video to listen to. ouhg#i haven't finished one playlist i was listening to but i wiped my yt history so i don't know where i was hhhhhh#there are lik 8 videos and they're all a little over an hour long#a refresher wouldn't hurt but ourh. ouuhrrh. hfbhs#//i'm gonna try to get to it then !! :)#i always end up reblogging like a thousand things before i ever get to anything though lmao - let's seeeee#toodles pool noodles :>
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every time i talk w my parents i have to remind myself not to get swayed by their doting affectionate act.
#i mean see#becoming older has made me recognize and appreciate them for a lot of what they did#but to say that i am doing anything except lip service to them rn would be an exaggeration#our relationship has improved but i have made it clear that i never intend to live with them ever again#that the honeymoon period will last 2 days max#they'll cry their crocodile tears#and the emotional abuse will restart like it never stopped#that the physical abuse would have continued if i didn't threaten them by throwing chairs and a knife#like....these past few months have given me such fucking WHIPLASH#it almost makes me forget just how dysfunctional our dynamic has been#how i got away relatively well adjusted because i psychologied myself through clinical and counselling psych classes#how they refuse to take the blame absolutely for my brother's issues surfacing now in his adulthood#ever so often something so viscerally twisted will happen on a call or on the group chat which makes me want to hurt myself#and that serves as a wake up call abt how bad shit used to be#and how glad i am to be away from it all#but every few weeks i will be lulled back into thinking that maybe things weren't so bad#i'm also swayed so much by the people around me rn who hesitate so much to talk about anything that isn't small talk#either that or they're people who really love their parents and enjoy spending time with them#and i'm like....respectfully i cannot relate and neither can the bamboo rod that once broke in two bcs of how hard my parents wielded it <3#and ofc when families come up in conversation everyone acts like it's a normal thing for there to be ups and downs#w so much unsaid and implied about how i'm actually an ungrateful POS who can't appreciate their parents sacrificing so much for me#hehe. no thanks. keep ur judgement to urself
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black sails is still so insane like yeah! here you go! fun pirate show! heres the utter torment that is being queer in this time period. heres several episodes setting up an m - f - m love triangle before they reveal it was far FAR more complicated than that. here are lesbians. everyone fucking sucks. have fun
#lesbians taken loosely because i do genuinely adore that they keep all of it vague#this was my heartstopper guys. does that explain a lot about me. yes#but you need to understand the PROFOUND effect that scene had on me. like just. all of it#the way the entire season sets up a 'ohohoho hes having an affair with his best friend's wife' ONLY TO TURN ALL OF THAT ON ITS HEAD#AND NOT ONLY THAT. THE ENDING?#DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE AMOUNT OF QUEER REP I HAD SEEN IN FICTION WHEN I WAS 14. ESPECIALLY ON TV#THIS WAS PRE HEARTSTOPPER. PRE WWDITS. PRE TMA AND WTNV. I LOST MY MIND#black sails means SO much to me i cant put into words the effect it had on me as a kid. but also if this show released now#i would bet actual money that the young queers of now would cancel it for problematic queer people <3#all the sex & violence... flint being. flint.#this entire show is what im talking about when i say i want less sanitized queer rep. this. iwtv. hannibal. like theyre all fucked up#but they contain incredibly flawed people. ESPECIALLY black sails has character depth#like these people do awful things and they mess up and their love sometimes isnt PURE and theyre PIRATES. THEYRE PIRATES#like i wouldnt exactly recommend it 'if you liked ofmd' but if you liked ofmd and hannibal/iwtv. and you havent seen this.#i cant recommend it to people who just like ofmd the genre is too different. like yeah its a queer pirate show but its also a period drama.#i am so incoherent rn i love this show
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