#i daydream a lot of angst when i listen to music

[bugdogg]

uhhh something something learn to love yourself dummy

(this is mostly a doodle, i wanted to draw Zuki w their past self for a while now so yayyyy)

[meazalykov]

overstimulated

lea schüller x adhd!anxiety!reader

summary: it might feel like the world is ending for you, but lea is there is help.

warnings: tiny angst, the "downsides" to adhd!!, mentions of medicine, anxiety, I hope you enjoy.

it’s game day, and you’re a tangled mess of thoughts before the alarm even goes off. the energy of your mind that courses through you every morning feels magnified today, like your brain can’t decide if it’s excited or terrified. 

the champions league second leg against arsenal in london. a big match, sure, but after last month’s win, it should feel lighter, easier.

yet, your chest feels tight, your mind replaying every mistake you could possibly make, every way you might fall short. 

your foot taps against the floor as you sit on the edge of the bed, staring at your packed kit bag in the hotel room, unable to remember if you double checked the contents. 

you should feel confident. that first leg game was your best game in months. a goal and three assists.. people were raving about you, calling you a maestro. even your teammates had hugged you extra tight after the final whistle. 

yet, instead of holding onto that joy, your brain latched onto the thought that today won’t be the same. maybe you’ve peaked. maybe that was your limit. maybe today, you’ll mess up so badly that everyone will see through you, see how different you’ve always been.

lea stirs beside you, her sleepy voice pulling you out of your spiral. 

“baby, you’re tapping.” her hand reaches for yours, warm and grounding, wrapping around your restless fingers. 

“what’s going on?” 

you glance at her, your beautiful girlfriend, her soft blonde hair sticking up in places from sleep. she’s everything you wish you could see in yourself..kind, patient, steady. you hesitate, feeling a lump rise in your throat. 

how do you explain that it’s not just the game, not just the usual pre-match nerves? it’s the way your adhd always seems to betray you, even now, even after years of managing it. 

“just... thinking about the match,” you mumble, not meeting her eyes. 

lea’s not fooled, of course. she sits up, resting her chin on your shoulder, her voice soothing. 

“you have been amazing this season so far, and you’ll be amazing today. i know you feel a lot, but you’re not alone in this, okay?”

the blonde’s words should comfort you, and they do, a little. however, there’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind, whispering that you’re doing too much. too hyper when you’re happy, too irritable when overstimulated, too anxious all the time.

even with medication, even with years of practice, there are moments where it feels like your adhd is this shadow you can’t shake, this weight you can’t stop carrying.

the morning drags on in a blur. breakfast is a struggle..you can’t focus on the food in front of you, too busy replaying different scenarios in your head. what if you misplace a pass? what if you lose your marker? what if arsenal turns this match into a nightmare? 

lea’s presence helps, her gentle reminders to eat, to breathe, to focus on the present. she kisses your temple before you leave for the stadium, her lips lingering like she’s pouring all her love into you. 

“you’ve got this,” she says, her voice firm and full of belief. 

“no matter what happens, i’m so proud of you.”

on the bus to the stadium, you sit quietly, headphones on but not really listening to the music. your teammates chatter around you, relaxed and confident. you wish you could feel that way, but your heart races as the bus pulls closer. you zone out, daydreaming about the many scenarios that could take place today. 

stepping off the bus, the noise from outside grows, the chants echoing in your chest. you keep your head down, clutching your bag tightly as you follow the others inside. the locker room is its own storm of energy…laughter, shouts, the clatter of cleats on the floor. 

it’s a lot. you’re a lot. or at least, that’s how it feels. you try to center yourself, focusing on the routine: tape your wrists, lace your boots, warm up. the yelling in your head doesn’t stop, your thoughts racing faster with every passing second.

when warmups start, you feel the weight of the stadium’s gaze. every pass, every touch of the ball feels scrutinized, even though it’s just practice. you can hear the fans chanting, cheering, and it’s both exhilarating and overwhelming. 

your heart pounds, the familiar ache of doubt creeping in. the last game against arsenal feels like a distant memory now, like it happened to someone else entirely. you’re not sure if you’re ready for this.  

you catch lea’s eye from where she’s sitting on the bench, her hands cupped around her mouth as she shouts something you can’t quite make out. however, her smile…it’s the same soft, steady smile she always gives you, the one that says she sees you, really sees you, and loves you anyway. 

it’s the only thing that makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, you’ll be okay.

well, 

you were not. 

the second half started much like the first…fast-paced, intense, and frustratingly scoreless. you were holding your own defensively, shutting down arsenal’s dangerous counters from players like beth and emily, but the anxiety bubbling in your chest wouldn’t settle. 

the bayern teammates of yours were playing well, yet it wasn’t enough to quiet the chaos in your head. the noise from the crowd, the shouts from the sidelines, even the sharp sound of cleats striking the ball…it all felt amplified, like the world was pressing down on you slowly and with torture. 

your adhd had been a constant companion for as long as you could remember, but today, it felt like it was running the show. every sound, every movement on the pitch seemed to pull at your focus, scattering your thoughts like a broken puzzle. 

one moment you were tracking arsenal’s number nine, the next your mind was stuck replaying a missed pass from ten minutes ago. even when you tried to shake it off, the nagging voice in your head wouldn’t stop: 

what if i am not good enough? what if this match proves it?

you tightened your jaw, forcing yourself to stay in the game. your body felt overstimulated, like your nerves were on high alert. the fabric of your jersey clung uncomfortably to your skin, the sweat dripping down your face stinging your eyes. 

it wasn’t just the physical discomfort; it was the weight of your own thoughts. they moved too fast, too loud, colliding in a whirlwind you couldn’t control. 

why can’t i just focus? why can’t i just be normal?

then came the clash with katie. it was the 80th minute, and arsenal had just launched another attack. you’d been frustrated all game, and katie had been particularly aggressive. 

when you collided mid-sprint, her shoulder digging into yours, it felt like a spark hitting dry kindling. the shove she gave you wasn’t unexpected..katie was known for her temper among the community. 

however, your reaction was. without thinking, you shoved her back, harder than you meant to. the force sent her stumbling, nearly to the ground.

the whistle blew sharp and loud, cutting through the noise of the game. suddenly, players from both teams surrounded you, their voices rising in protest. your heart pounded as you tried to explain yourself, but your words came out tangled. 

you weren’t like this. you were one of the the sweet ones, the calm one. this wasn’t you…but it was. your frustration, your overstimulation, your inability to control the buzzing chaos in your head,

it had boiled over. 

lea was there, her voice clear amidst the chaos. 

“hey! calm down!” she shouted, not just at the others but at you too. the blonde’s presence grounded you for a moment, but the panic was already setting in. your chest felt tight, your mind spinning faster than ever. you told yourself it would be fine, that things would calm down, but another part of your brain whispered the opposite. 

what if this ruins everything? what if they see me as a problem now?

the match ended 1-1, and relief washed over you, though it was fleeting. the whistle’s final blow signaled the end, but your thoughts refused to let go. 

you sank to the grass, pulling your knees up and burying your head in your hands. the world felt too big, too loud. your breath hitched as you fought back tears, your fingers curling into the blades of grass beneath you.

you felt someone’s hand on your back just a minute later..

klara knelt beside you, her voice soft. 

“hey, come on, let’s get inside.” her touch was gentle as she helped you up, guiding you toward the locker room. you didn’t resist, too drained to argue.

 once inside, away from the noise, you leaned against a wall, feeling the weight of everything crash down on you.

“don’t tell lea,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“please, just let her talk to obi or someone else. she doesn’t need to worry about me.” 

klara frowned, hesitating. 

“you know she’ll kill me if I don’t tell her that you’re not okay. you’re her whole world, y/n.”

you sighed, defeated. 

“fine. just… don’t make it a big deal.”

as if on cue, exactly one minute after klara left, lea jogged into the locker room, her eyes scanning until they landed on you. she rushed to your side, crouching in front of you. 

“what’s going on? klara said you weren’t okay.” her voice was soft, but her concern was clear.

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. the tears you’d been holding back spilled over, and you hated it. you hated feeling this vulnerable, hated not knowing why you felt so out of control. 

“i don’t know,” you choked out. 

“lea i really do not know! my mind… it won’t stop. it’s like i can’t slow it down, and i hate it. i hate this.”

lea pulled you into her arms, her hold firm but soothing. 

“it’s okay, baby. let it out. i’m here. you’re safe. its just us right now.”

as you sobbed into her shoulder, a thought struck you like lightning. 

“did i even take my medicine this morning?” you asked aloud, your voice shaky. your stomach dropped as realization dawned. 

“fuck,” you muttered. “i left it in munich. lea, i’m so sorry. i’m such an idiot.”

she pulled back slightly, her hands cupping your face. 

“hey, stop. you’re not an idiot. it happens. we’ll get through this, okay? tomorrow we’ll be on the plane home, and you can take it then. tonight, you just need to rest.”

lea’s voice was like a balm, calming the storm in your mind. she pressed her forehead to yours, her thumbs brushing away your tears. 

“you’re not alone in this. i’ve got you.”

she kissed the top of your forehead, as if to kiss the chaos in your mind away. your thoughts were cooling down, not so much as you tap your boot on the ground rapidly, but at least you had your lea– the woman who loved you regardless of yourself being ashamed for being neurodivergent. 

author's note: I kind of wrote this for myself as someone with both anxiety and adhd (and sometimes cannot tell the difference in my symptoms).

masterlist

[jxckchxmpi0n]

Hi there. I was wondering if you could do a Spider-Man Ethan x fem!reader where the reader has feelings for Spider-Man and doesn’t know its her friend Ethan who she also grew up having a crush on. Every night the her and Spider-Man talk and hang out on the roof of her apartment. One of the nights there is so much tension that they end up doing the famous Spider-Man kiss. Feelings on both ends are confessed, but Ethan refuses to fully take off his mask. But then one night Spider-Man is extremely injured and loses a lot of blood. So the reader ends up patching him up and has to remove his mask to reveal that it’s her friend Ethan that she’s always had feelings for. Then it can end spicy from there with whatever you’re comfortable writing.

Thank you 😊

OMG! 🕸🕷 I love this idea - ugh, I'm gonna have so much fun writing this ahhhhhh hope you enjoy love 🌼

Two Hearts

Summary : You have a crush on your best friend Ethan- but growing close with Spiderman, and also sharing those same feelings leaves you confused. A rough night for Spiderman ends up revealing secrets.

||m.list

Word count: 3.0k

Warning: Angst, fluff, swearing, blood, mentions of death, slight NSFW.

I love how much music affects my writing. Listened to "hopeless romantic soft mix" while writing this. Made me kick my feet and giggle!! ALSO, THIS IS THE LONGEST FIC I HAVE WRITTEN ANNNDDD OH MY GOS I AM SO IN LOVE

There was a new superhero in town, and boy did that 'Spiderman' have all the girls' hearts. He sure had yours, but he will never be Ethan- Ethan was your best friend. He has been by your side since you could remember.

Any person that would see you together thought you were dating, but you weren't. The thought of telling Ethan you liked him - oh boy. That would be the last thing you would do. HE GIVES YOU BUTTERFLIES!!! he makes your stomach turn, and those chocolate brown eyes always make you want to grab his face and smother him in kisses.

Your little daydreams got carried away sometimes, staring off into space when you hang out with him. "y/n, you there?" Shaking the thoughts away, you nod. He then just continues on about science.

But this Spiderman, saving people, helping the elder, oh what a dream he seemed very sweet and always helped no matter how minor the "crime" was.

Not knowing who he was drove New York crazy the secret identity was smart and cool, but it really started to pick up in the school halls.

How old was he?

Was 'he' he or 'she'?

How did they become super?

You were always talking about the latest crime fight Spiderman had done, digging into conspiracies, which always made Ethan laugh.

Lately, you haven't been able to hang out with Ethan as much as he signed up for active work at the police station with his dad. Most nights, he would be busy with his dad doing simple desk work and / or join him in a ride along. So, being on your own was the new daily.

It started a few weeks ago. Slowly, you noticed webs around your neighborhood buildings. 'Maybe Spiderman came through.' he was always around this part of town, so it made sense.

As the school days died down and the city got louder at night, you would relax on the rooftop of your apartment. Being so high in the sky, being able to see over it, was refreshing. Turning your music off, you'd listen to the sounds around you as your mind filled with thoughts. Homework would also fill the gap.

It wasn't until the second week of being on the rooftop that something wild happened. As you sat playing music going over your English notes, right across the street, Spiderman stood watching you. He didn't want to seem like a creep - well, standing in a head-to-toe body suit watching from a rooftop seemed weird, but he kept it lowkey.

He liked seeing you in such peace, sitting looking down at the people who roamed the streets, or how you would lay on your back looking at the sky. You were so beautiful in his eyes. He was so drawn to you, he couldn't just stay away.

Before he realized what he was doing, his arm straightened out activating his webs. Putting his full body weight in the web, he swung over he landed on the opposite side of the roof near you. Why was he so nervous, you don't know who he is! What if this ends up bad! wait, you don't know who he is! this is perfect.

"Why do you sit up here?" he spoke before he could process. The sudden voice made you jump and yelp a little. Looking around, you saw him. He stood a few feet away from you.

'Spiderman, oh my gosh, it's Spiderman,' you thought, your mind racing with so many questions. 'Why is he up here?' 'is this fake' ?Did I fall asleep again?'

"What? are- this- I- Are you really here?" he couldn't help but laugh at your comment and walked closer. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears.

"Well, duh," he tried to sound smooth, but his voice ended up cracking while he sat in front of you. You laughed as he tried to buff up his look.

"So? Why are you sitting up here?" he tilted his head to the side in a questioning way. The spider eyes on the mask opening and closing softly.

"It's peaceful up here, I get to see the city, and no one else comes up here so it's like the perfect place to escape for a little" your heart ached, you wished Ethan wasn't always so busy so you could take him up here.

He hummed, satisfied with your answer. 'How was he just so calm sitting here with me, like this is normal?'

"I'm sorry, as much as I think this is cool - uh, what are you doing here? Don't you have some crime to fight?" You threw some fake punches his way, laughing to ease your awkwardness.

"I mean, yeah, but it's a slow day, and I just saw you hanging out here. I've actually seen you here a lot the past few weeks, so you know, I just thought I'd see what you do. " he was blushing so hard under the mask, and his body was warm. 'Don't sound like a perv!'

"Do you do this a lot? spy on people?" Your voice is playful and light.

"Me? Well, psh No, I-I haven't done this before. Is it weird - oh, did I make you uncomfortable?!" As he spoke, his voice started to hold some panic.

"What - no, you didn't- NO this is cool! It's cool. I swear, I mean, you're Spiderman, like how wouldn't this be cool."

He felt a little better knowing it didn't make you uncomfortable. Hours had passed, and you talked about what it's like to fight crime and how he got his powers.

This soon became a regular occurrence. Every other night, he would show up and tell you the star crime of the day. You would bring extra drinks and food and give some to him. He would always turn around, or you would close your eyes when he ate/drank.

The feelings you had for him grew into an actual crush, now that you knew him - somewhat you felt like you could trust him.

After a few months, things started to change. He would tease you as you would do the same. Playful touching, whispering as he was inches away from your face. He grew so comfortable around you that he would sit shoulder to shoulder with you.

The smell of his calonge would fill your nose, a sense of familiar came to mind. The tension between you two could be cut by a knife, long shared glances, his body pressed into yours when he would give you his web shooters and show how to use them.

"Would you ever feel comfortable enough to take your mask off?" You sat on the edge of the rooftop with him right next to you, your hands resting near one another. The city lights shined on your face as he looked at you, a soft blush rose to your cheeks.

"Uh, maybe. I'm just scared. " he looked away, not wanting to face you.

"You don't have to be scared," you hand reached for his face, pulling it to face you. Even if you can't see his eyes, you knew they were looking right back at you. "You have my trust, and I promise not to break it," your voice was stern, yet like butter to his ears. His gloved hand went to yours, holding it closer to his face, leaning into your touch, the warmth of your hand seeping into his suit.

"It's getting pretty late; I should get going." Your hand fell from his face, and he nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow?" You were already walking towards the door with your bag over your shoulder.

"Yeah, of course!" he smiled under the mask matching the one you wore. Turning around, you could hear the web shooters, meaning he was leaving, but to your surprise, he hung over the door by his web. Looking up, your eyes followed it to the billboard.

"Only a little." He couldn't trust his own voice. He was nervous. 'Did she understand?'

The sound of cars honking and people shouting started to drown out as you stepped closer. 'Was he sure about this?' Your hands got closer to his neck, finding the edge of the mask. "Are you sure?" concerned you asking, pressured him.

"Yes, please." it almost sounded like a whine.

Pulling the mask over his chin past his lips; you stopped right before his nose. Your heart was beating very fast, feeling it in your throat, the butterflies in your stomach, it was driving you insane.

You could see he was blushing, some moles on his face near his lips. His lips, they looked so soft, and your hands held both sides of his face like he was going to get away. Your right hand let go though, reaching to trace his lips; they were soft, but also chapped. Both of your breaths were picking up.

"Please y/n," His voice whining again.

Pulling you out of your trance, you leaned in, "You're so beautiful."

Your lips clashed with his, inhaling his scent. This was heaven. The kiss was rough, the tension finally catching up. Teeth brushing each other sightly, you could feel his head pushing into yours. He wanted more, and so did you. Your lungs were burning gasping for air, but you didn't want to pull away, no, not yet. 'What if this is the only time I can kiss him, feel him?'

He was the first to pull away gasping for air. He just kissed you after wanting to for so long. "I'd like to do that again sometime." he was smiling so wide, being able to see it made your heart do flips.

"You know where to find me." Leaning in again, you kissed his cheek.

Taking the edge of the mask again, you pulled it back down towards his neck and tucking it in. "I'll see you tomorrow." Your hands dropped from his face, and you walked past him into the door.

Hours have passed, sitting on your bed acting like a little schoolgirl, giggling and kicking your feet. Who wouldn't you just kissed spiderman!

Looking at the clock, it was near one am. Sleep was catching up. So, you started your normal night routine. Finding some old extra oversized t-shirt, you slipped it on, and it landed on your mid-thigh barley coving much. You had shorts on but night shorts that were very short.

As you were done in the bathroom, you walked back into your room and felt a cold breeze. Looking around, you saw your window was open. An overwhelming feeling flooded your body as you knew you had closed it earlier. Getting closer, you hear a noise out of the darkness. Spiderman sat up, holding his side. He didn't look good.

"Help me," his body collapsed halfway in your window. your heart sunk at seeing him like this. Running to him, you grabbed him the best you could and pulled him in.

"What did you get yourself into, bug boy?" he sat against your wall, one arm trying to hold himself up and the other holding his abdomen.

"It's not that bad, I-" he removed his hand to show you the deep cut. it ran from lower chest to the middle of his stomach, "Okay, maybe it's a little bad." Every word was broken up by him groaning or wheezing.

"I'll be back." Running out of your room, you grabbed the first aid kit in the hallway. "I don't have much, so we have to make this work."

Before you started to clean the cut, you looked at his face. The mask was beat up pretty bad. He had a tear in it, running from his ear to chin. After tonight, you don't think this suit would survive.

"Can you move?" Your voice was low. The last thing you need is your parents finding Spiderman in your room.

"I'll try," he tried to push himself up, his head spinning. Standing with him, you saw him stumble, catching him. You guided him to your bed. As soon as he sat down, the pain was too much to bear. His body went limp.

"Hey! bug boy! hey, can you hear me?" You sat next to him, patting his face over and over and hoping to wake him up. His eyes would open and close after a few seconds, "You got to stay with me!"

"I'm tired." he was barely auditable.

As you looked at him, an idea came to your mind, "I'm sorry," putting a hand over his mouth and taking your other hand, you pressed down on the cut. He yelled into your hand in pain, his eyes tearing up under the mask. 'fuck'

The most you could do right now is clean the wounds and patch him up. He was awake but laid there quietly. You were so focused on making sure the wounds were thoroughly cleaned that you didn't realize one of his hands laid on your thigh, gripping it every time you wiped the cuts.

"You're okay." You tried your best to comfort him, and not much could be said though truthfully.

Once you checked over his entire body for more wounds, you moved up to his face. the mask was resting weirdly, "I finished everything else, but if you don't want me to clean -" As you spoke, his hand that wasn't on your thigh reached for the mask ripping it off.

Your jaw dropped.

ETHAN FUCKING LANDRY.

YOUR BEST FRIEND.

"I-" before he could fully speak, you flung your body into his. He winced out in pain as he felt you on him, yet he felt better.

Your eyes were watering at this point, seeing Spiderman - no seeing Ethan like this ripped your heart apart. "I had my theories- but fuck bug boy why?!" you pulled away making eye contact. He could see the tear stains running down your rosy cheeks.

"Don't cry pretty, girl, please don't cry. I'm okay - kind of, " he chuckled, hoping it helped ease the tension. His hand cupped your face, his finger halfway in your hair, his thumb resting on your cheek moving side to side wiping the tears.

"You're an idiot you know that?" You hit his shoulder, pushing him back a little. He made a face like it hurt but only smiled. Looking at you through his lashes, blood sprayed on his face, scars you haven't seen before. His eyes softened as he saw your face red and stained, crying, pouting.

"I'm hoping to be your idiot though." his thumb still ran across your cheek, slowly moving down to trace your lips. He hasn't stopped thinking about kissing you. Even when he was dying, the need for you was strong.

He was just looking at your lips at this point. He looked at you like he was starving. The hunger for you grew stronger after that kiss. Noticing the change in how he looked at you, a laugh escaped you. "For almost dying, you sure are a teenage boy with your thoughts"

Your voice pulled him back, snapping his eyes up to yours he smiled. "That obvious?" Your hand had gone to his wrist rubbing circles into his skin as he did the same to your face.

Your head went forward, forehead to forehead. A sweet little moment between you two. "Don't die. I know what you do is dangerous, but I don't think I can handle seeing you crawl into my room like this again." he nodded his head, yours moving with his.

You felt far away from him too far, using what strength he had left he pulled you into his lap, straddling him, your breath hitched.

"I won't, I promise." his hand left your thigh holding out his pinky. It was cheeky, yes, but he would.

Both of your breaths were heavy, and the tension in the room was filled again. It's like he knew because he would lean in to ghost over your lips, yet pull away. 'asshole'

"Kiss me already," your voice was laced with annoyance.

Pulling you in from the back of your head, your lips crashed together, and it felt different. This kiss was hungry. It was needy. His hands went over the curves of your body, trailing under the t-shirt, gripping the back of your back, pulling you towards him if possible.

Your hands were tangled in his hair, the curls all broken apart, pulling it softly, earning a moan from him.

Your body was thinking faster than your mind, rocking back and forth on him. The feeling of his body tensing, pulling away to kiss your jaw, then your neck. Your head fell back, giving him more access. His lips were soft against your skin, his teeth grazing your skin as he left love bites, both of you, a moaning mess.

"Ethan" moaning out his name was something you both dreamed of "we- shouldn't- not- not now-" your words kept getting broken up from the feeling of him sucking your neck, and how his hands gripped your hips moving you more.

"Why?" he voice was muffled from being in your neck. He knew it wasn't the right time since he was so beaten up. His hands loosed up on your hips, and a whine could be heard from you. That didn't stop him from peppering your neck and face with kisses thought.

"Fine. We'll stop, but next time, I won't quit as easily. " he pulled his face out of your neck so he could look at you. Your face was red, with a smirk on it.

"Let's just lay here then," you crawled off of his lap. You laid down, following you, and he pulled you so close that you were basically on top of him again.

"I'm fine with that." he looked down, kissing the top of your head before sleep took over his body.

[pinkberrytea]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Eeee tysm for the tag @nyx-knox and @honeybee-bard! 🥹🙌❣️

When did you start writing?

I used to write fanfiction when I was 13 years old, but as an adult, this is actually my first time dabbling in creative writing! I released my first work back in April, crazy to think it’s been barely four months since I started!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Horror and mystery are actually my favorite genres, though I'm not sure I'd be able to pull either off? I should give it a go one day, maybe!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

To be honest any comparisons at all would make me plenty happy since I barely consider myself a writer 😅 There are some people in the fandom who are endless sources of inspiration for me though, all authors in my recs list and ao3 bookmarks, for starters.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

No BG3 merch sadly, yet!

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Just daydreaming honestly. Also listening to music helps plenty! Researching lore and brainstorming ideas with friends too. But mostly just daydreaming!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Hurt and comfort, and also angst. Lots of it, for some reason. It does surprise me how angsty all my writing ends up coming across, but I try to balance it out with some melodramatic fluff, I guess? I do want to try my hand at some less serious/more lighthearted themes eventually though, branch out a little!

What is your reason for writing?

Coping, mostly. Also as a sort of therapy, to sort out my feelings about themes that are important to me and that I’ve been processing through media. And no less relevant, simply as a self-indulgent outlet! I write what I myself would like to read.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Every single comment is incredibly motivating for me, but of course, I do twirl my hair and kick my feet whenever someone tells me about which passages they liked the best and how they specifically felt about a certain scene. Also, whenever people pick up on a detail I was sure would go by unnoticed!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I want my readers to think of me as a friend, as someone who is always accessible and up for talking about writing, be it mine or just in general!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Oh, this is a toughie. I have a very flowery and verbose style, though I’m not sure that’s a strength? I guess it could be, depending on your preferences. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, really.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I don’t think highly of it from a technical standpoint, but I do pour my heart and soul into every single piece, and that makes them all special to me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I can sincerely say I write mostly for myself, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to write anything at all because I don’t think I could live up to anyone’s expectations. Though of course, the feedback I receive on a piece may in fact influence whether I feel inspired to expand on it or just move on to something new. Even if I’m typically my own main target audience, comments are always greatly appreciated!

No pressure tags ✨ @locallegume, @judasiskariot, @inkymoonbunny, @starryjuicebox and @kalmiaphlox!

[valiantstarlights]

Hob has ADHD and songs play in his head 24/7. Dream likes tuning in because it calms him down and makes him feel happy and grounded, having that small connection with Hob as he rebuilds The Dreaming and goes about Endless business.

(I'm headcanoning earworms as a weird type of daydream and very much within the scope of Dream's power.)

This could go in different directions.

Angst (with a Happy Ending): Hob and Death talk during That Time in the comics that I don't wanna talk about ever. Death tells Hob how Morpheus!Dream liked listening to the songs in Hob's head.

(In this AU), Morpheus!Dream chose to go to the Sunless Lands instead of retiring as a human. Hob tells Death that he's ready to accept her gift now, and if she could please guide him to wherever Morpheus!Dream is in her realm, because even in the afterlife, he wants to be with him. The Other Side by Ruelle is the last song that plays in Hob's head as he takes Death's hand, and the first song that Morpheus!Dream hears when they reunite.

Spicy: Because Hob has no control over what songs are being played, he doesn't even notice that lately, most of the songs (on repeat) are spicy. But it's not like it's a problem (for him), since earworms are mostly background noise to him by now.

However! Dream suffers because of the songs' suggestive lyrics. Is Hob trying to tell him something? Does he want to call Dream 'daddy' but is too shy to tell him face-to-face? Does he want to have a WAP in the Dreaming? Hob keeps thinking about this spicy instrumental music. Does he want Dream to make sweet, sweet love to him while it plays in the background?

Dream eventually snaps, because of course he does, and we all know what happens next. 😏

Crack: The chorus of The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?) by Ylvis is stuck in Hob's head for 10 days straight, and Dream is near tears because, "No, Hob, foxes do not say those things."

Fluff: Dream getting to listen to all the 20th and 21st century music he missed while he was imprisoned. Hob knows a lot of songs and has a really good memory for them.

Sometimes, when Hob gets frustrated because he doesn't remember how a certain tavern song from the 1500s starts, Dream reminds him. Sometimes, Dream even sings it for him. Hob is very heart eyes about it, no matter Dream's level of skill in singing. (It can either be very good since he's the Lord of Dreams, or very bad for the same reason he has a weird-ass laugh.)

Sometimes, Hob takes Dream's hand and they dance to the music currently on repeat in his head, especially if it's something slow and sweet. They dance whenever the mood strikes, wherever they currently are. At home, in the Inn, among the pigeons in the nearby park, and of course, in the Dreaming.

[juicetrick]

shuffle your on repeat playlist (on spotify) and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people (I don't know 10 people)

Thank u @sabrirene for the tag :P

Sudden Death in Carolina by Brand New - absolute banger, the lyric "when I'm talking to myself I'd always rather be talking to you" is so real. Brand New is like bottled teen angst sometimes

Someone Else's Bed by Hole - It's such a somber song but I really like it

A Loving Feeling by Mitski - maybe I'm wrong but I feel like this is such an underrated mitski song. Definitely one of my all time favorites, love listening to it while daydreaming about being unhappily in love

Me vs Your Friends by The Flat Stanleys - BANGER sorry for the sin of loving shitty Midwest emo but GOD i love this song

MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday - probably one of the songs I know completely by heart it was a huge favorite when I was younger a CLASSIC must have for any emo nostalgia playlist

But Here We Are by The Foo Fighters - I love this song, it's got a great beat!

First Love/ Late Spring by Mitski- I promise I listen to other music than weird emo shit dad rock and mitski but this is probably my favorite mitski song. "I can't breathe, please don't say you love me"

Pendulum by Bay Faction - Bay Faction is my friend Luka's favorite band, he got me to listen to them and I really love this song, there's just something about it that makes me wanna play it on repeat it's so good! It's actually number one on my on repeat rn!!

XO by Fall Out Boy - my favorite Fall Out Boy song (available on Spotify) and if I'm ever getting a tattoo it's a keyhole with an eye in it, inspired by this song and some alternative album art for FUTCT

Pavlove by Fall Out Boy - another Fall Out Boy banger, it just recently got added to Spotify so I've been playing it a lot! It's really good though I'm happy to finally have it on Spotify so I can listen to it whenever!

Tagging: @2009scourge @apokalyptiskgengangare @diagoose @jinruihokankeikaku @pumpkinofthedale and whoever else wants to do it!

[zerolostwalks]

Fic writer asks:

4, 11, 16, 24, 44, 70

(there are too many great questions!)

Thank you thank you! They are really good questions!! (found here)

Long post is long so there's a read more cut. (Question 16. (How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?) gets especially long because I decided I want to discuss all my WIPs.)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

This is a wonderful question, and honestly it depends. Some ideas definitely are me reading or watching something and forming an AU around that. Sometimes it's listening to music and a vibe strikes me that I am like I must write a story that fits this vibe. Other times, I'll be daydreaming and a single scene will pop into my mind and haunt me until I write it down which usually leads to creating the world and circumstances to allow that scene to happen. Sometimes I get an impulsive (in the cases of my darker angstier stuff intrusive thought) and my brain is like wouldn't that be messed up? (Like Crash Pad, Ch 11 solely happened because I built the backstory for the POV character and brain went, you know what't be really screwed up?)

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Oh geez. But there are so many good fics!! At this moment the immediate top 3 that jumped in my head were:

-It's a supernatural delight by @invisibleraven (JatP fic) -Trip of My Life (Every Time You're Touching Me) by @daintyduck99 (JatP fic) -Prince Charming's Jacket by hitechlatte (Rise TMNT fic)

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

So most of my fic ideas are in some WIP phase. (I'm serious when I saw I need a focus schedule to help me out) We Run Together - This next chapter is all Reggie being all anxiety riddled because Cam and Bobby take him shopping . . .still not sure if we're gonna get to the plane ride this chapter or next. Bobby's first since turning and Reggie's first period. . .it's a miserable affair for the two of them. I have this mental image of them during a layover just sprawled in the waiting away noses shoved in some sort of fast food bag or peppermint bag fighting off the queasiness of being trapped in a metal tube with a bunch of people, including young kids. . Hello Baby June, Goodbye Heart - I keep going back an reading what we have for the next chapter and all our notes. I don't know how much Ash is ok with me gushing about details bu I'll just say the stuff we've got planned it's literally that meme of "give me fic. 'you have to write it.' no write only fic." A lot of of my JatP wips are on rotisserie skewers in my brain right now, rotating, coming into view, reminding me of their presence, enticing me to work on them. And they ALL have moments that I am like, you were the scene! The reason I started this fic in the first place and I still haven't gotten to you yet!! . Crash and Burn - Gotta get through this last chapter of Crash Pad, which is gonna be fun. But then Glowing Embers!! Aaaah, the Donnie POV side of Crash Pad!! Especially Ch 9-11 of Crash Pad like I am at that point of must write this that I have worked myself into a frenzied state where writing is no longer possible . Finally the Donnie Double AU - This AU has so much angst potential. Right now I have two planned fics for it. An unnamed one where Mikey goes after the Donnie Duplicate to try and coax him back to the lair. Only instead he sets him off. And like I said, it gets angsty. The Donnie Duplicate 1000% believes he is OG Donnie, it is hardwired into him, no amount of evidence is going to convince him otherwise. Also hardwired into him is the belief that the only way to get his life back is to kill the entity that stole it from him i.e. OG Donnie. Which leads me to the second planned fic Meant to Be(working title, it may change). This is the reader insert(possibly OC) led fic. Essentially the premise is Donnie Duplicate runs into MC, and initially begins clinging to them out of an 'I just lost my entire support system' desperation that turns into a really unhealthy obsessive possessiveness. When I say it is pulling a lot of vibes, especially the planned ending, from Meant to be Yours from Heathers the Musical I ain't lying. In fact most of the vibe songs I am pulling for this lean into dark and angsty feels. Straight up have been listening to a song called Stalker's Tango on a loop for planning parts of this fic

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

Hmmmmmm, this ones tough, if it was bad advice I most likely purged it from my mind. The thing is sometimes what is great advice for one person and their way of writing may be terrible advice for some one else. Like even the write daily advice, I think this is great advice. But it needs to be tailored to some extent. When I got back into fic writing I worked myself to the point where I am now needing to reevaluate my expectations of me and my writing. Because I can no longer keep up with the way I wrote a few years ago. The same advice I would have thought was great then would kill me now.

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

This question would be easier if I had a regular beta XD. Personal mistake of my own that I keep noticing, I don't let the story breath enough.

70. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I have no hesitations telling people I write. I might not always discuss what the stories themselves are. But the brilliant thing about fanfiction is I don't have to, I can just talk about the joy of exploring the characters outside of canon, exploring how they would behave in different circumstances. At my sister's wedding a couple years ago, most people didn't even care about the what I was writing, more on the how I found the time. Because this was when I was in peak production mode, where I was slowly burning myself out with the sheer amount of writing I was doing without pacing myself at all.

[hymn-of-muse]

Hello again! third time the charm I hope. Thank you and sorry I bothered you. I tried copy the length of another request. Yume, adult, she/her, Honkai Star Rail and Genshin Impact, males please. I have dark brown hair that reach mid/lowerback, dark brown eyes, I'm 5'4" I think (165cm), and has a big chest (I hate it!) I'm shy, introverted,don't talk if not asked to, anxious. I keep to myself, like helping others.aggressive w/anyone attacks my friends/loved ones, loyal to a fault, very calm, patient. take alot of time to snap/act rude. Also cold as ice when deeply hurt. Others says I'm kind&caring.

I like stars, the sea, books, flowers, astrology&astronomy, crystals&gems, arts, music ,voice acting/dubbing, daydream, writing, playing vgames, helping others, dragons, listening to others, animals. I dislike insects, bullies, loud sounds, being alone, my anxiety, betrayals, feeling useless, some vegetables, my sensitive self, hurting others.

My type of man is angst. As a general rule, I'm most always attracted to angst, some of my favorites being XIAO, Wanderer, Dan Heng. I'm also easily attracted by characters with dragon motif or that are dragons.

i see ^^

i dont think i need to do the paring here, you've already got it yourself, dan heng and xiao!

it would take some time for xiao to warm up to you though, you both have a lot in common personality wise and you might be in a slight stalemate until one or the other makes the interction start but once it does he'd be there whenever you need and making sure youre alright. the two of you both have a protective nature and while he doesnt understand why you like him nor thinks he deserves it he definetly appreciates it.

dan heng would be a bit distand and quiet at first, noticing your shyness and giving you space, but would still be the one to start interaction, he'll still make conversation and that will lead to you two getting closer. he might take your anxiousness to mean he's being overbearing and grow a little more distant to give you space but will also be there to help you through your anxiety if you need to. when you fnd out about his past and the dragon thing hes worried at first but when you show youre into it hes more confident about it. youre probably the only person he'd let touch his horns (or tail) and march thinks its unfair.

[mizzymii]

Vanitas Headcanons

General Headcanons that have no relevancy at all but I brainrot these on a daily basis.

If you see typos— no you didn't

TW: mentions of death and some Lightly-angsty Headcanons!

EDIT: I spelt so many things wrong WHOOPS I swear I know how to english

✎... VANITAS

⌛ Vanitas has itty bitty freckles all over his face, they weren't very noticeable but they're there

⌛ He is very good at knife juggling and lives for the thrill of it

⌛ Because I live for the Trans!Vanitas Headcanons and fancy ass scars; his scars oddly look like little wonky hour glasses

⌛ if Vanitas were to be in a relationship I feel like he isn't much of a PDA person; so he gets all funny when he's genuinely being shown affection in front of people.

⌛ for the Vanoè shippers and piggyback from the PDA Headcanons; I feel like Vanitas loves to just sit on the roof; he won't go out if his way to cuddle Noè or anything, but enjoys his company

⌛ for the VaniJeanne shippers; listen. Vanitas will let Jeanne do his makeup.

⌛ In a Modern-Day setting, in terms of music, I feel like Vanitas would like MCR; but also REALLY likes The Oozes

⌛ Vanitas is a musical guy because he just- radiates theatre kid. He likes the Falsettos :D

✎... NOÈ

🐱 I like to think Noè used to have a speech impediment when he was younger

🐱 Boi stims and likely has ADHD.

🐱 When he stims; he usually waves his hands around, shakes Vanitas or stomp in place

🐱 He can repeat "uhm uhm uhm uhm" for a minute straight until he remembers what he is thinking; and it pisses everyone (But Domi) off

🐱 for the Vanoè shippers, but I'm throwing in some angst. While Noè crushes on Vanitas (before a relationship), I feel like Noè tends to stare at Vanitas while on the rooftop and internally recites thousands of poems, but never speaks them.

🐱 When Noè gets Into a relationship with Vanitas, He leaves small pieces of the poems he's written around their room for Vanitas to find

🐱 For the DomiNoè shippers, I feel like Noè gives her the BEST hugs and cuddles you've EVER seen and is like her backpack

🐱 When Noè is in a relationship bc why tf not; you bet your ass he traces over ALL of his partners scars

🐱 Did I say I'm a Vanoè shipper? Well— more angst. In the end when Noè marks Vanitas, they come to a mutual understanding; but they embrace eachother for the last memory :) I can't think of anything sadder than that so that's for the softies (aka me)

🐱 Noè is a book dragon; he reads when he suddenly gets the motivation but he loves to hoard books because he thinks hell read them but never does

✎... JEANNE

🌹 She loves roses; she feels like a rose girl

🌹 In modern times; She's also a theatre kid- but she loves all the niche musicals.

🌹 her favorite singer is Aurora :) and she LOVES Tomm Moore movies

🌹for the VaniJeanne shippers, She loves to braid his hair and get him all pampered up

🌹 She gets sunburned very easily

🌹She's very sensitive to STRONG aroumas so she likes the subtlety

🌹Jeanne daydreams a lot when she has absolutely nothing to do

🌹(VaniJeanne) When Jeanne is in a relationship with Vanitas; she definitely makes sure to take care of him and is constantly checking up on him and giving him constant reminders that she does indeed love him

🌹Her love language is probably Words of Admiration and Physical touch

🌹She stims as well but they're usually little whistles and fiddling with sensory objects; these only happen when she's anxious and flustered

🌹For the DomiJeanne shippers; Jeanne loves to do Domi's first date was at a greenhouse then a Cafe.

🌹 Again for the DomiJeanne Shippers; Jeanne is the big spoon.

🌹 Jeanne would play DnD and always plays either the little and chaotic menaces or the big and gentle cutie patooties

✎... DOMINIQUE

I had a bunch of things for Domi but I had a blank while writing these

🗡 Bc I am; Domi is near sighted. It isn't TOO bad but it certainly is annoying

🗡 Domi is a secret bookworm and finds it so relaxing to read with a nice cup of tea

🗡 Domi used to take fencing classes and was really good? Listen girlie wields a sick rapier she DEFINITELY had practice ((this isn't even a Headcanon tbh))

🗡 Domi used to use Noè for practice

🗡 Domi doesn't like putting her hair up but is okay with doing braids or other types of hairstyles

🗡 Domi has a birthmark that looks to have matched Louis's :)

🗡 Domi, in Modern, would ALSO play DnD but dm's for Jeanne

🗡 Domi loves PDA :) romantic or platonic

🗡 I like to think Noè is her soulmate, both in a romantic and platonic sense

[nijigay]

hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

[deoboyznet]

its time for our monthly HOUSEMATE SPOTLIGHT! deoboyznet proudly introduces @cupidjyu !

yumi says: hi !!! 💕 im a writer for the boyz and it’s so nice to meet you 😚 you probably know me from my fluffy pieces of writing (that derive from my own daydreams..) and having a huge crush on hyunjae 😦 even though im a shy person, i would love to be friends 💘 especially feel free to recommend me music ily mwah 💕

**interview below the cut**

who are your bias(es) and bias wrecker(s)?

OMGG yk my bias is always hyunjae!!! he's all i ever talk about ... i remember seeing him at a concert and immediately falling <3 and as for bias wreckers, it would have to be jacob! i think he's just the sweetest kindest person ever

when did you first start stanning the boyz?

just before the stealer was released <3 i remember seeing it trending that they had won road to kingdom and i watched one of their performances and realized how amazing they were at performing !! especially sunwoo who always caught my eye first

what is your favorite the boyz era?

OH reveal definitely. im biased and judge more on the music itself, rather than any much else so since it is my favorite title track and i especially love the other songs on their album (and that it's a full album which is what i most adore), i love reveal! i loved the styling for it as well, especially for changmin <3

what the boyz song are you currently obsessed with?

lucid dream <3 i love the type of music that is more on the calm side, the type that you can listen to while studying

what do you write? (favorite genres, if you're known for fluff, angst, etc.)

fluff!! i consume a lot of media that have bad endings but when it comes to writing it i absolutely suck :') which is why angst is never my type of thing. and when i have a lot of time on my hands, i try to stray away from simple fluff, and rather build upon characters and plot, but i do think people most enjoy my straight-to-the-point cute romance LOL

what is a fic/work people should check out from you?

this one [clair de lune] for changmin because i had the literal most fun writing it PFFF i based it off one of my favorite movies and i enjoyed writing their dynamic

▷ read yumi's clair de lune here!

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

for that writers ask game!!

🥺

🛒

🎶

🤗

👐

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Oooh, so many honestly. I often end up making myself feel feelings when writing (which is why angst is hard, i get all mopey about it). 😅

Something that always gives me warm fuzzies, though? When they make each other realize the good qualities in each other that they themselves are unable to see. The “I wanna try and get at least a little bit closer to the person you see in me” of if all. The “if you believe I can be like that, then I can”, aaaw 🥹

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Hm, I feel like a try a lot of different things and dynamics and premises. I go feral when they are all possessive and borderline obsessed with each other, so you'll see that trope sneaking in a lot. 😅

Some other tropes I adore writing are bitch4bitch (it's about the banter), found family, and angst with a happy ending (the worse the horrors, the bigger the reward) 💖

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I'm one of those weird ppl who write in silence (the brain can only focus on so many things at once), but music is still very important to my stories. I have a list of songs I associate with each, like a mini soundtrack, and I'll often listen to them *before* writing to get myself in the mood. 

Lately I've been daydreaming about my mob boss Eddie ficlet and listening to this one a lot. 

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Write that self-indulgent shit! Even if your inner bully tells you it's silly, or that it's been done a million times over, or that nobody will want to read it. If you are in love with the idea and writing the story brings you joy, that joy will shine through. 

And after you’ve written that self-indulgent shit, post it! I was so, so scared when I hit that “post” button for the first time, but the only thing I regret now is that I didn't do it much, much sooner. 

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

“Hey,” Steve makes his way inside slowly, ducking around the graduation gown on its hanger by the door. “Wayne called me, said you wouldn’t come out of your room? Ceremony’s starting in half an hour, what are you- Eddie? What’s wrong?” 

Because he has just spotted Eddie, huddled on the mattress with his back against the wall, arms wrapped around hunched knees, trembling hand still clasping the stupid cap. Steve is in front of him in an instant, mattress dipping under his weight. His hands cup Eddie’s face, tilting his head up, and Eddie knows he should pull away, he really should. Still, he’s helpless to do anything but let himself sink into Steve’s comforting touch, his familiar scent. 

Ask me stuff!

[sixpennydame]

Hi bestie~

So 11 and 13? Also, I could really use some song recommendations, pleaaaase.

Hi Nina! I hope you're having a great Tuesday. <3

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

I do! Here is my playlist for when I want to write angst. I listened to it a lot when I was writing The Better Man, and still do when I want to get in an angsty writing mood.

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

Not enough, haha. I'm definitely a gardener type of writer - I plant a chapter or two and see if it takes root, then I'll plant more if I feel inspired or if readers seem interested. I do try to make outlines, but I never end up sticking to them. New ideas are always popping up when I'm taking a walk or daydreaming, and suddenly, all my best laid plans are out the window.

---

Songs you say? Right now I'm obsessed with The Last Dinner Party - their debut album is truly spectacular. Tell me what kind of genres of music you like, and I'll give you some more suggestions.

[saltlickmp3]

today I got a copy of Sonic Youth's Goo (on vinyl (!!) it wasn't even that expensive I love indie record stores), which is a fricken fantastic Sonic Youth album, Kool Thing is just so incredibly badass (though it has a weird video, like music videos are weird but it's unsettling that one). Kim Gordon is, of course, an icon among women musicians, and one of those amazing bass players who just get to slide around up and down strings and play root notes and that's all that's needed for the song and it's so cool and very garage/garbage rock.

Krist Novoselic is another one of those bass players. sort of endearingly useless (near the end of their set at the reading festival he's just walking around the stage with his bass practically at his knees not even playing. also that moment when he threw his bass in the air and then it knocked him out on the way down) - but his shirt in the above photo also introduced me to sonic youth.

i had a brief grunge thing going a few years ago which culminated in me deciding that Hole is far better than Nirvana, and that picture was in the back of a lot of the music magazines I was getting (Uncut from the Uk, better than Mojo), and I was like 'well if nirvana like them they should be pretty good'. i only listened to Teenage Riot for a while (Daydream Nation is also very very good) but they have a lot of albums.

some slightly lesser known (i think) tracks -

Death Valley 69 w/ Lydia Lunch

Winner's Blues (if anyone can think of what other song this song this sounds like that would be greatly appreciated I just can't place it)

Shadow of a Doubt

The Diamond Sea (19.47 long)

The Empty Page

Within You Without You (beatles cover)

And the album Murray St., which is pretty cool

Also, there is a NZ song called 'Point That Thing Somewhere Else' which reminds me of The Sprawl from Daydream Nation but was released like 6 years earlier

so yeah, thanks to Krist and his choice in t-shirts fo the recommendation :)

it's one some of my favourite album art, the 1966 hipsters combined with the comic-book style and the early 90s alt band angst and it;s just so cool

[yourlunarspice]

Hope your day is going well!! 💫

For the fanfiction ask game, for any fic(s) of your choose for these questions!!

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

11: What do you like best about this fic?

Hi Kiya! My day's going alright, thanks for asking!

I'll be honest, it's so hard for me to choose! I think I'm going to go with my very first bnha fic, Those Damn Flowers; one of my most successful fics, Heaven And Earth Between Us; and one that I love dearly, Songbird.

It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: there are major spoilers for all three of those fics ahead, as well as for Danganronpa (in general) and my fic series Pit Of Vipers.

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

For Those Damn Flowers, I was at a bit of a crossroads at one point. I'm fairly certain it was around Chapter 14 or so. I wasn't sure whether to give Shouta his old memories back or let him focus on making new memories with Hizashi. I brainstormed for both, but ultimately decided to just give Shouta his old memories back all at once (also, because I was kinda running out of steam in writing that fic, lol).

Writing Heaven And Earth Between Us was fairly linear, if I remember correctly. While the gods may have had some (i.e., a lot) of angst over the length of the story, there was never a doubt in my mind that it would end well for them. I think the only thing I was going back and forth over was Monoma's death, but even that was short-lived.

I remember wondering if I should really go through with killing off literally every main character in the story. I kept going back and forth, because Hizashi is supposed to be good, so why would he kill the other three? There was a very short alternate ending I thought of, where Hizashi wasn't even thinking of the other three prisoners, and instead just died next to Shouta. This alternate ending would either end with all three of the teenagers dying of starvation or getting rescued but being irreversibly traumatized. I'm glad I ended up with the ending I did, though. I'd recently watched Danganronpa3 (spoilers!) with my boyfriend, and I was sort of equating Nezu's influence to Junko's influence. If someone is tainted by Despair, they need to be cured or killed, and there was no curing what Nezu and his teas did.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

I think Those Damn Flowers will always have a special place in my heart simply because it was my first bnha fic. Sure, the writing is a little clunky in places, but it's special to me. Also, I'd really gotten into hanahaki at the time of writing it, mainly thanks to this art series. I'd read quite a few hanahaki stories at the time, and they were all pretty much the same: person A starts coughing up flowers for person B (and knows why they're coughing up flowers bc everyone knows about hanahaki), A is about to die, B sees the flowers and confesses their love, and thus saves A's life. There's nothing wrong with that, but I wanted to find a fic where nobody knew what was going on and where the person with hanahaki willingly takes the surgery (which is supposed to erase the memories of the other person). I looked, but I couldn't find any, so I just created one.

Heaven And Earth Between Us is one of my favorite fics that I've written. I'll catch myself daydreaming about the universe, thinking about Katsu-Misæ and Toshihiro’Máni's relationship. I've created a playlist of songs for the story that I listen to regularly. I've always said I try to write stories that I would read myself, and this one is no exception. I think it appeals to me so much because it allows my creativity to run wild. I can imagine Katsu-Misæ dipping his toes into a glowing river of magma or Toshihiro’Máni putting his crown on and seeing all the humans' dreams like billions of stars laid out before him. It's such beautiful imagery that it's hard not to think about it when I'm listening to the music.

While Songbird is significantly shorter than Flowers and Heaven, it still feels special to me. I've always loved forced villain stories, especially when the main character is so messed up that they can't even tell what's right anymore. The confusion and inner struggle to piece together his past is what makes 159 eventually break away from Nezu, even after years of his influence. And it was killing Shouta that finally broke his mind enough that he was able to remember. But, I think what I like best about Songbird is its ending. After being dealt a fatal blow, Hizashi lies down next to Shouta's body, holds his hand, and screams to bring the ceiling down on them both. But, instead of pain, Hizashi sees Shouta, is able to embrace him and tell him that he loves him. His body is even smiling serenely when its found. It's a fitting end for both sides of him; 159 is dead once and for all, but he's also able to be with Shouta in the afterlife. I suppose I was going for a more wholesome version of The Venom Of Serpents, The Deadly Poison Of Cobras, where the protagonist kills everyone and then himself. In Songbird, Hizashi was already dying, and he wanted to be with Shouta in his final moments, while in Venom, Hitoshi only killed himself because that was the only way he could kill Viper. Personally, I can't choose which version of the ending I like the best.

From this ask game!

[zylophie]

PROFILE PAGE☆

ᵎᵎ 📳 modena🎨 is calling.. | ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ

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​​ModEna🎨

Hai I’m Ena but my name is Mango!

୨♡୧ Pronouns:

❅ She/They

୨♡୧ Age:

❅ 12-16

୨♡୧ Hobbies:

❅ Drawing, Writing, Making bracelets, baking

୨♡୧ Specialty (chars you write well for):

❅ Tsukasa (probs add more later)

୨♡୧ Favourite food :

❅ sabritones or hot fries :3

୨♡୧ Least Favourite food :

❅ Many pastas (love alfredo doe)

୨♡୧ Favourite Color :

❅ Pink

୨♡୧ Favourite PJSK character :

❅ Tsukasa + all nightcord chars!

୨♡୧ Characters I Kin :

❅ Misturi (KNY), Himari (Doughnuts under a cresent moon), Mei (Turning Red)

୨♡୧ Genre tastes :

❅ Fluff, Angst

୨♡୧ Fav music :

❅ Rock, J-pop, K-pop, pop

୨♡୧ Fav mangas :

❅ Doughnuts under a Crescent Moon, The Summer You Were There, KNY

ᵎᵎ 📳 modmafuyu🎼 is calling... | ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ

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ModMafuyu🎼

Hi-nya𝅘𝅥𝅮 I'm Mod Mafuyu, otherwise known as 'X'!

୨♡୧ Pronouns :

❅ She/her

୨♡୧ Age:

❅ 16

୨♡୧ Hobbies :

❅ Gaming, Baking, Drawing & Singing

୨♡୧ Specialty(which character you write especially well for) :

❅ Nene + All of N25

୨♡୧ Favourite food :

❅ Soba + Salmon + Ice-cream!

୨♡୧ Least Favourite food :

❅ Spicy food

୨♡୧ Favourite Color :

❅ Purple and Blues~

୨♡୧ Favourite PJSK character :

❅ Nene and Mafuyu

୨♡୧ Characters I kin(Top 3) :

❅ I kin a lot of people, however I do think my highest kins are Nene, Ena and either Mizuki/Honami

୨♡୧ Genre tastes :

❅ Horror, Thriller, Fantasy and especially mystery!! I like anything sad too/hj

୨♡୧ Music :

❅ Pop, C-pop, J-pop

୨♡୧ Fav music artists :

❅ Roan Lee, Miori Celesta, Nerissa Ravencroft, Rachie, PinocchioP, DECO*27, Hachi and Ado. I love too many.

୨♡୧ Fav Animes :

❅ Kimetsu no Yaiba, No Game No Life, Gakkou Gurashi! And Mieruko-chan

୨♡୧ Fav Games :

❅ Genshin Impact, Path to Nowhere, Reverse 1999, Tears of Themis, PJSK

୨♡୧ Funfacts :

❅ I am formally known as 'Xilyks' on tumblr. I went on hiatus for exams but when I came back I was more interested in PJSK. Then I thought 'why not kidnap some friends to write with me?'' If you were an old follower of mine. Hello!<3

ᵎᵎ 📳 modmizuki⛩️ is calling... | ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ

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ModMizuki⛩️

(｡･ω･)ﾉﾞ Hello

hii hii!!, I'm Mod Mizuki! I'm also known as "Yue" nice to meet youuu !! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ)��

୨♡୧ Pronouns :

❅ She/her

୨♡୧ Age:

❅ 20+

୨♡୧ Hobbies :

❅ Gaming, Writing, Reading & Listening to Music

୨♡୧ Specialty(which character you write especially well for) :

❅ Mostly male characters but I can do some girl ones if I want to be... creative enough (･∀･)

୨♡୧ Favourite food :

❅ Spicy Foods, Noodles, Fries and Waffles

୨♡୧ Least Favourite food :

❅ Vegetables (funny enough, my code color is green) ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ

୨♡୧ Favourite Color :

❅ Purple, White, Blue and Light Green

୨♡୧ Favourite PJSK character :

❅ Toya, Rui, An & Shizuku

୨♡୧ Characters I kin(Top 3) :

❅ Honestly, I like everyone equally but hmm...I think my top kin is probably Rui, Touya and either Nene/Kohane

୨♡୧ Genre tastes :

❅ Pop Music, Rock & Jazz

୨♡୧ Fav music artists :

❅ Reol, Eve, Aimer, Milet, Give Heart Records & Amalee

୨♡୧ Fav Animes:

❅ Haikyuu!!, MHA, KNY, The Rising Of The Shield Hero & Jujutsu Kaisen

୨♡୧ Fav Games :

❅ Genshin impact, Honkai Star Rail, Tears of Themis, Ensemble Stars, Reverse: 1999, Xenoblade Chronicles 2&3, Persona 4&5 and Fire Emblem Three Houses

୨♡୧ Fun Facts :

❅ I start writing at the age of 12 so I'm constantly trying to find a way to improve my writing skills!

❅ I named myself as yue which is like the front face for darker and unhingedness side of me which happened often, yui for my cheesy and daydreamer part and yua for my rambling writer personality...did you notice only one letter is changed?

❅ I absolutely love folklores especially japanese folklores!! You might see a lot of references to those folklore in the future!

❅ I'm the graphic designer for those banners and headers you see here and no I don't have an degree for it but I start editing when I was still using wattpad! I'm also the editor for this blog, I want to make the blog look appealing and easy for you to navigate through!

❅ X actually kidnapped me into working together with her and mango (they are my precious friends 💕) when I was telling her one of my stories draft and that's where we are now~

❅ I mostly write yandere as less violent as most yandere that being portrayed as most bloody and unhinged killers on the media, it's meaning of the term, yan is sick and dere is love then you get lovesick! I want to be unique and tried to match the yandere traits with the existing personality of the character so I hope you enjoy my stories~