#under the read more

[lysspossum]

I hate how MEAN anxiety and hunger make me

I don’t want to be mean, I don’t want to be short with people, I don’t want to snap at people

I try to keep snacks but every once in a while I just don’t feel hunger at all until it gets BAD.

Cw for suicidal ideation under the readmore

Also ughhhhhh suicidal ideation creeping back in. I need a therapist but also I don’t want to see a therapist because it always ends the same.

I’ve been living day to day for my entire adulthood and some of high school. I don’t know what to do but keep doing the same I’ve always done.

I just don’t have any hope of any kind of future where I’m able to provide for myself and live in my own place. I feel increasingly separated from anyone my own age, increasingly unable to relate to them at all.

I’m just sad and I don’t know what else to do. I hate that it’s far easier to envision dying early than to be able to imagine any sort of stable future for myself.

[westwingsolo]

Hi. Hello. As some of you noticed I haven’t been on that much. There is a reason for that, and I’m sorry I haven’t been so vocal about it. If you want to know the explanation then you can read it after the READ MORE. Hopefully I’ll be able to come back again soon. As for now, please feel free to message me on discord. It’ll honestly make me too happy.

Best,

A

So right now I’m in the hospital. I’ve been having really bad headaches for the past month. Like debilitating headaches that I’ve never had before. Out of concern I went to my eye doctor thinking I needed to bite the bullet and get glasses. Well, after doing a thorough exam, the doctor saw something concerning and told me to get it checked out. I waited to get a second opinion but before I could, my headaches got so bad that I ended up going to the ER.

I’m getting checked out, test are being run and the doctors seem to have an idea about what’s going on. I’m going to get better but it’s just going to take a bit. I don’t know if anyone knows this but being in the hospital is actually really tiring. But also looking at my phone/laptop makes my headache worse so being able to do replies is not going to happen.

I appreciate in advance any well wishes, but getting to talk to you like normal is honestly the best medicine. So if you want to chat you know where to find me.

[nijigay]

hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

[magicalshopping]

I got called a man/a boy by someone from xbox/overwatch and as the conversation went on they started to get more and more confused and because they couldn't successfully determine the secret gender they just started calling me ugly

Guys i made it i finally made it I've been validated

There's a lot more this person was spamming me for a while i think they eventually got comms banned lmao

[radioiaci]

ok thats all i got in me i gotta go to bread im gonna just run the queue overnight and into tomorrow morning cuz i know yall been waiting for my slow ass so look forward 2 poasts how come my writing is like so baller for nsfw threads LMAO

[bam-monsterhospital]

hang on gotta ramble about the strawhat interpretations in this show and how wonderful they are in the live action. also y'know, put any worries to rest?

zorp

i was so worried at first that they'd only focus on making him a stoic badass and all the wonderful bits about zoro that makes him zoro would be lost

i didn't need to worry

zoro THINKS he's a badass. and yeah sometimes he's right. but it becomes very clear very quickly that this man is a fucking disaster. an absolute mess.

he's KIND.

a dork. sees a lil girl with her tray of horrible riceballs and is like 'omg a child. plz nooooooooo', and then instantly like 180s and is all 'brb cheering up this lil goober, nothing can stop me.'

he PAYS ATTENTION. he notices shit! y'know, that thing that zoro does? that characteristic? yeah! Also nice to see where his mind goes when him and nami try to guess each others' backstories; like her, he assumes the worst in people.

he emotes. he mopes over lack of alcohol like a fuckin idiot, he laughs open and freely often, he smiles, he gets startled, he has a thousand yard stare when he realizes just what kind of bullshit he's involved himself in when it comes to luffy.

hIS DEVOTION TO LUFFY. aaaaaaaaaaa. this is the big thing right? zoro's big turning point and it did not disappoint. He's genuine and raw with his delcaration to luffy, knowing the support luffy needs at that moment (aaaaaah, see? he notices things!) and reassuring/encouraging him. ffffffffuck. Then later on he fuckin checks up on luffy to see if he needs to talk. Will follow him to th ends of the earth into hell and right back out again vibes. it's perfect.

he's entertainingly petty. quick lil word jabs at sanji, unprompted. beautiful.

Loofs

what is there to say? if you don't already know, just watch. This is luffy. this is the best luffy. this is a precious bab personified sunshine. Everything you ever liked about luffy? Here, accounted for, amplified.

Namnams the boss

reminded me why i initially adored nami in the first place.

she's herding cats 24/7

assumes the worst in people, very cynical, is all 'nuuu fuck you y'all are garbage', but then when you blink she's exposing her bleeding heart gooey center, regretting everything about everything.

trying not to care, but cares so fuckin much omg, she's kind. she's so kind.

Usoppppppppppp

oh Ussop. Ussopp. Fantastic.

all of usopp's best traits, TAKEN UP TO 11

KIND

full of life and energy and joy like luffy, backs down and regrets life choices on a daily basis, cARES SO MUCH AAAAAAAAA

can we get a collection of his stories? he's really entertaining. like VERY entertaining, also if you're not paying attention to what he's saying you could easily initially buy what he's selling... until he brings his lies into ridiculous territories xD

excellent at quick thinking. thinks on his feet, fly by the seat of his pants, he'S USOPP.

also. ahem. he's very pretty.

does not want to be in the fight scenes but runs in anyways.

snergle

he's not gross. he's not creepy. he's not a raving misogynist. omg.

it feels like his main reaction to pretty womenz is being completely enamored. like he's just mesmerized by his own idea of women as a fantasy fey being glittering in front of him.

actually charming? WHAT? he knows how to actually be charismatic/charming? TO A WIMMENZ? WHAT IS THIS NOW? WHERE HAS THIS BEEN, ODA? HEY. TAKE. NOTE.

sooooooooo full of smiles and laughs.

wears his heart on his sleeve, ALL emotions out front nothing hidden, nothing held back.

KIND. hmmm, i'm noticing a trend here.

very obviously cares about people.

still an idiot, like, this was a given. i want to make it clear he's not some suave fucker, no, this boy a dorkus who rolled high in luck and smiles and it's been helping a lot.

so emotional. and unlike most media where 'emotional' on a dude looks like rage grump murder hobo badass, here instead it's like a fuckin breath of fresh air. it's not toxic. it's just... genuine? is that the word i'm looking for? hmmm.

it's obvious he cares deeply for luffy. and fuck man, i really miss that for sanji.

i'm sure i had more to say, but i've rambled enough for now.

[thememory]

alright, i have to get ready for work, then class. but i'm going to start queuing my responses and having then post out during the week.

i have 6 drafts & 11 inbox items to write out and post (:

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Hentai lookin ass Bill.

A couple more "suggestive" drawings under the cut:

I hesitated on posting these last two so much when I was drawing them, but that was like two weeks ago, and now I'm just numb to it. WHO CARES JUST TAKE THIS!!

I alluded to drawing more "suggestive" billford stuff a while back, and ironically, THIS ISN'T EVEN WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT SKJDFGDSH I was talking about something else I was planning on drawing. This just sorta happened.

I hope you like these!! Let me know if you want more.

oh, and the first drawing was originally rotated on its side, but I decided I liked it flipped around. That's why his coat is up like that. That's gravity babey!!!!

[ink-the-artist]

Rabbits

Some bonus art, I initially started making this in a totally different art style but changed my mind about halfway through lmao, here are the parts I finished

[blackpearlblast]

Brown University students are launching an indefinite hunger strike for Palestine

they are asking for their university to divest from companies profiting from the genocide in gaza and openly call for a ceasefire and will not eat until the university governing bodies hears and considers a divestment resolution. if you are not familiar with the physical toll a hunger strike takes on the body, it might be worth looking up to get a better sense of what a significant action these students are taking. the university's highest governing body is having their first meeting of 2024 on february 8-9th so let's rally around them to muster even more pressure on brown university.

brown university contact page: let's state our support for these students and let brown university know the world will be watching what happens next!

additional reading: coverage of this story in the university's student news paper - get to know some of the hunger strikers

[maudiemoods]

WAAAAAUAGRGGG!!

I love them so so so much!! AURGG!!

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[lazuliquetzalart]

Don't watch the coin, idiot!

the boss fight of ALL time

[meamiki]

silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:

context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA

(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)

[vaguely-concerned]

So much of Garak as a person starts to make sense once you know his childhood was a fucking gothic novel. His main playground was a graveyard and he'd play pretend by perfoming improv eulogies to an imagined audience. For a long time his main touchstone for most important figures from recent history is 'oh yeah I know about that guy my dad buried him. great flower arrangements for that one'. He finds out later his 'parents' are actually a brother and sister who had to get married to avoid the utter shame and social devastation of having a child born out of wedlock, and they live in the basement of his biological father's house. (the madwoman in the attic vs. the tiny elim in the basement.) His biological father calls himself his uncle and locks him in a closet whenever he fails to live up to his insane and unpredictable expectations and everyone just has to act like that's normal and expected, and his will hangs over everything at all times, unseen but always felt keener than anything else. The father who actually raised him grows the world's most beautiful (and as it turns out, most poisonous) orchids and keeps the mask of a god hidden in a box in his work shed. Everyone in the house is choking down secrets like it's the only air they know how to breathe anymore.

What I'm saying is that right from the get-go this guy never had the faintest shot at turning out normal, so I'm glad that by middle age he's found a way to get a bit silly with it as he continues to be deeply deeply not normal about anything ever <3

[khytal]

and there was only one bed (oh my god there was only one bed)

extra: