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dontcallmehelpless · 8 years ago

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13 Reasons Why (Daveed x Reader)

Sooooooo this took me literally forever to write, but I’m happy with the way it turned out!! Lil shoutout to Becca ( @angeilca-s ) helping me with some of the reasons ;) feedback would be lovely, and enjoy!

Warnings: ANGST, swearing, it gets a little heated at one part but other than that I think it’s all good?

Words: 5447 (dang this took forever)

One - Constantly distracted

You mindlessly scraped the food around on your plate, your eyes glancing from the food up to your boyfriend, who obviously had something much more important than your three year anniversary on his phone.

“Babe, can you please put that away?” you hinted, glancing down at his phone when he looked up at you.

“Oh, yeah, mhm,” he nodded, sliding it into his back pocket and looking at you. That’s one of the many things that killed you, was the way he looked at you. No matter what you looked like, what you were doing, it didn’t matter. His chocolatey brown eyes bore into you like you put the stars in the sky and made the earth spin on its axis. You sighed and continued eating.

“Babygirl,” he strung out, letting the word slide right off his lips like music to your ears.

“Yes?” you responded, once again giving him your attention.

“I love you, I promise. So much,” he grinned, reaching over to take your hand. He rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand, something that you had always found calming.

“I love you too,” you replied, smiling back. It was a truly genuine smile. You couldn’t be more in love with the man sitting across from you.

Two - Coming home late

“I’m home,” you called out into your shared apartment. Daveed normally got home before you every day, so you weren’t expecting anything different. But when all you were welcomed with was emptiness and silence, you were a bit thrown off.

“D? You here?” you called again, only to be met with silence. You huffed, setting your things down and making a cup of tea. You had a stressful day at work, and all you wanted to do was cuddle and sleep. Kicking your heels off, you headed upstairs to change into some more comfortable clothes.

Once you had settled down onto the couch, fuzzy blanket and tv remote in hand, you flipped on Netflix, putting on old episodes of Gossip Girl. It ended up being more just background noise, as you fell asleep halfway through the second episode.

You were never a very heavy sleeper, which explained how you got woken up by the door closing, even though Daveed tried his hardest to be as quiet as possible. You sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and stretching out a bit.

“D? That you?” you mumbled.

“Of course babygirl, now go back to sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up,” he cooed, kissing your forehead and letting you curl up into his side. You were happiest in that position, feeling safe and warm. A smile spread across your face, only to be reciprocated by Daveed. He truly did love you, and he was trying his best to show that.

Three - Increased effort in appearance

Stumbling into the bathroom one morning, you found Daveed shaving. This was definitely something that happened often, but he was being quite particular this morning. The lines were smooth, the prickly hairs rubbing against your cheek as he kissed you good morning.

“Good morning my love, how did you sleep?” he asked, walking out of the bathroom and over to the ironing board, which was oddly out of place in the spare bedroom. You had put it in there a few months ago when you decided that it wasn’t used enough, and it had never been taken out since.

“Fine, what’s that for?” you questioned, nodding your head towards the board which had a light blue button-up laying across it.

“Oh, I’ve got a big meeting today with some producers. Gotta look the part,” he shrugged ever so slightly, slipping the shirt on. Tucking it in, he grabbed his phone and stuck it in his pocket before walking back over to you and pressing a passionate kiss to your lips.

“I love you babygirl, I’ll be home before dinner tonight,” he gave you a warm smile, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I can’t wait until then,” you called after him as he walked out the door, he waved back at you, before hopping into his car and driving down the street.

The house felt cold, almost, without Daveed here with you. It was a Saturday, which you had off, so he agreed to not work Saturdays either. Why he didn’t tell you about this meeting beforehand threw you off, but not as much as why he was putting in so much of an effort to look nice. You weren’t complaining, he obviously looked very handsome, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up. Shrugging it off, you continued on with your day, the thought still nagging at the back of your mind.

Four - Change in music

Music flooded your ears as you walked into the kitchen, catching sight of your boyfriend making dinner. It was a wonderful thing to see, him acting like the spoon was a microphone, dancing around. When he noticed you watching him, he pulled you into it, twirling you around, earning a giggle from you. You couldn’t help but smile as he sang all of the words to you, staring into your eyes with his own. It was a song you didn’t recognize, but you still loved it nonetheless.

“Is this country?” you asked curiously, considering he never liked country music.

“Mhm,” he nodded, twirling you around once more. You cocked your head to the side and stared at him.

“Why are you listening to country? I thought you didn’t like it,” you questioned. He shrugged.

“I can’t like new music?” he said defensively, although he didn’t mean it that way. You went rigid, pulling away from him.

“Sorry for asking a goddamn question,” you muttered, slipping past him and into the living room.

“Wait, Y/N, I’ll change it. I’m sorry,” he pulled your arm, dragging you back into the kitchen. A small smile played at his lips, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I think you might like this song, can I play it?” he asked, not waiting for an answer before scrolling to find it on his phone.

Got a girl from the south side, got braids in her hair

First time I seen her walk by, man I ‘bout fell off my chair

Daveed serenaded you with the music, grabbing your arms and making you dance with him.

Had to get her number, it took me like six weeks

Now me and her go way back like Cadillac seats

He spun you to him and wrapped his arms around you, swaying back and forth along with the music.

Body like a back road, drivin’ with my eyes closed

I know every curve like the back of my hand

Doin’ 15 in a 30, I ain’t in no hurry

I’mma take it slow just as fast as I can

You laughed, watching Daveed get so into the song. Watching with adoration in your eyes, you pulled out your phone and recorded a video on snapchat.

“Y/N, delete thaaaat,” he dragged out the last word. You shook your head.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” you smiled, watching him pout and roll his eyes before pulling you into a kiss.

Five - Simultaneous cancellations

Y/BF/N: Sorry, I got called into work and I can’t make it to dinner tonight! So sorry, raincheck? xo

“Ugh, Y/BF/N cancelled. Again,” you sighed, rolling your eyes.

“I just want us to be able to go out with friends once in awhile, but she always cancels,” you crossed your arms, getting pissed that once again, she did this.

“It’s fine, we can just go out. I’ll call Oak and let him know we’re rescheduling,” he replied, kissing your cheek, before going to call Oak.

You finished getting ready, in a slightly better mood than before. Once you and Daveed were both ready, you got in his car and headed to a random restaurant across town.

You enjoyed spending time with just the two of you, however you were still irked that your best friend would just cancel on you again.

Suddenly, Daveed’s phone rang, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry babe, I’ve gotta take this,” he said, squeezing your hand before excusing himself from the table. You absentmindedly played with your food, waiting for him to return. After a few minutes, he rushed back inside.

“Hey, I’m so sorry, but something came up with the recordings, you know how they had to be submitted by last Friday, right?” You nodded.

“Well one of the tracks is missing. Just, like, up and disappeared. So we need to go back in and record it now if we want it to be on the album,” he continued, pulling on his jacket.

“I’m getting a ride from the guys, they’re on their way now. You good to meet me at home later?” he asked, glancing up from his wallet where he was pulling out two twenties to pay for dinner.

“Yeah, go get that taken care of,” you smiled, letting him know it was okay.

“Okay, great. I’ll see you later,” he kissed you once, forcefully, yet passionately, before running out the door.

“I love you!” you called after him, but he was already out the door.

Six - Newfound defensiveness and secretiveness

“Hey babe, how was work today?” you asked your boyfriend as he entered the living room, only to find you sprawled out across the couch.

“Fine,” he replied curtly. You squinted your eyes slightly and cocked your head, not sure why the short reply. You shrugged it off, figuring it was nothing major.

“That’s it? Just fine? Normally you can go on and on about your day, Will did this, John did-”

“Okay? And that’s every other day. Today it was just fine. Anything wrong with that?” he snapped, his jaw tensed and his shoulders back.

“No, just asking,” you went back to watching Supernatural, wondering why he was being so defensive all of a sudden. You heard a sigh from behind you, before a pair of hands rested on your shoulders. Daveed started rubbing them, and you let your head roll back.

“I’m sorry, it’s just a little more than I thought it would be. Nothing too bad though,” he replied, but you still felt that sense of cold.

You sighed, getting a little fed up.

“You good?” wondered Daveed out loud, noticing your tense position.

“Mhm,” you nodded, although it wasn’t too convincing. He raised an eyebrow.

“What’s on your mind? There’s gotta be something,” he pushed, sitting up a little straighter.

“What has gotten into you lately? You’ve been… different. Weird. I don’t know,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair.

“I’ve been busy with work. You already know this,” he grumbled. You could practically feel the tension in the air surrounding the two of you.

“No, I don’t. What’s got you so much busier than usual? Your last album didn’t require this much overtime, so what’s going on? The staying out later, always being on your phone, leaving when we’re spending time together… What’s more important than to you than our relationship?” your voice cracked at the end, tears welling up in your eyes. Daveed’s face faltered, and you could see the hurt evident in his big brown eyes.

That hurt was quickly replaced with rage.

“Since when do you feel the need to know my every move? What’s next? A tracker in my phone? Huh?” he stood up, waving his hands around as he yelled.

“Maybe if you just told me and didn’t lie I wouldn’t be asking questions!”

“Well maybe I can have my own life without someone knowing every single thing,” he spat, turning around and walking out of the room. You shook your head, tears falling freely down your face.

“Fuck you!” you yelled after him.

When you got no response, you sank to the ground, pulling your knees to your chest.

Why?

Seven - Anxious when together

“I’m just saying, they should have a drive thru at movie theaters so you can just go buy the popcorn,” you laughed, arguing about random nonsense with Daveed on your way home from the mall.

“Okay, whatever you say,” he rolled his eyes playfully, earning a soft punch in the arm from you.

“So what are we doing now?” you asked, glancing out towards the horizon where the sun was setting.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. Whatever you wanna do,” he shrugged.

“Okay… How about we just go walk along the beach? We haven’t done that in so long,” you suggested, only to get a shrug and a slight nod in response.

“Or not,” you added after being replied with silence. Daveed shook his left leg at a constant pace, waiting for the light to turn green. You turned to the side to look at him, studying his beautiful face for a few moments.

He seemed more tired than he usually did, his eyes not as bright with bags underneath. He was holding your hand, but it almost seemed like he wasn’t really holding it, just letting it lay there.

“Babe? Are you okay?” you pulled him out of his thoughts after the light had been green for a few seconds. He snapped out of it, looking around before proceeding through the intersection. He nodded in response to your question.

“Yeah, I’m just worried about the album. What if the fans don’t like it? What if it totally fails?” he worried, pulling his hand away from yours to run it through his hair. You put your hand on his leg, rubbing it comfortingly, only to have him tense up underneath your touch. You slowly pulled your hand away.

“They’ll love it, they always do. You sure that’s it?” you questioned once more, and he gulped and nodded, almost too quickly. You didn’t say anything else, just stared out at the road, waiting for him to say something.

He didn’t say anything that night until before you went to bed. He muttered goodnight, trudging up the stairs and into your bedroom, leaving you alone on the couch in the living room.

Eight - Encouraging spending time with others

“So because I have to go to another meeting today, I was thinking maybe you could go out for a girls’ day with Pippa and Jasmine. You’re always talking about how much you miss them, so you should go have fun,” Daveed rambled on, the sun shining brightly through the windows on a Saturday morning. You snorted, holding back a laugh.

“Since when do you suggest girls’ days?” you asked, chuckling to yourself.

“Since I think you deserve to have fun. You can spend time with people other than me ya know,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I’m aware. I’m just curious as to why you feel this way all of a sudden,” you wondered.

“Because I have a meeting, and it’s not good for you to spend all this time inside. Get outside! Go have fun, please. You deserve to be happy,” he made sure he had everything before grabbing the car keys and opening the door.

“Okay, okay. I guess I’ll go,” you laughed, a sound that was music to Daveed’s ears. He smiled at you before shutting the door and leaving you to go about your day.

Nine - Emotional distancing

Soft sobs echoed their way through your apartment, meeting your ears as you entered the room.

“D? Babe? What’s wrong?” you called, setting your things down and racing off to find him. You searched everywhere, the living room, kitchen, bedroom, when finally you opened the bathroom door to find Daveed with his hands resting on the counter, his head lowered. Tears were running off of his face, and it was very evident that something was wrong.

“Babe, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me,” you repeated, pulling him into a hug. He pushed you away, eyes glancing in your direction as you stumbled back.

“Wh-what, is everything okay?” you composed yourself, trying to keep it together for Daveed’s sake.

“Yes. Please leave,” he told you, his voice rough from crying.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong,” you countered, crossing your arms since he wouldn’t let you comfort him.

“Leave. Now,” he said through gritted teeth. You did as you were told, figuring he just needed some space before explaining the situation to you.

But as the days, soon weeks, passed, you began to grow nervous. He was still shutting you out, offering no explanation as to what had happened.

You were hanging out with Jasmine at her and Anthony’s apartment one day, gossiping and laughing, just like it used to be.

“So how are you and Daveed?” asked Jasmine.

“No kids anytime soon, right? I don’t really wanna have to babysit,” Anthony added, wrinkling his nose. You rolled your eyes at the childish gesture before turning back to Jasmine.

“Actually, he’s been a little distant lately. He won’t tell me what’s going on,” you leaned back against the couch, stirring your drink with the little straw inside.

“Well you know everything that’s going on with his mom, right?” she asked, your eyes widening.

“No? What? Why wouldn’t he tell me? What’s going on?” you bombarded her with questions, standing up and pacing around the room, one of Daveed’s little quirks that you had picked up on over the years.

“Y/N, his mom’s sick. They don’t know what caused it, but she’s been in the hospital for over a month,” Anthony said, pulling you into a hug along with Jasmine. You let your tears out, clutching onto Anthony’s shirt like you would never touch anything again.

“Why wouldn’t he tell me?” you sobbed, thinking about all of the wonderful times you had with her. You two got along extremely well, having the same views on many different political topics as well as on everyday things. You had spend many holidays helping her cook, clean, and making sure everything was perfect.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him again? Don’t bring it up directly, just make sure everything is okay,” Jasmine said, rubbing your back. Anthony nodded in agreement, and you pulled them both into a tight hug, muttering thank yous to both of them.

“Everything’s still okay, right?” you asked Daveed later that night, sitting next to him in bed. He nodded, pulling you into his arms.

“That’s good, how’s your mom doing?” As soon as the words left your lips, Daveed tensed up.

“Who told you?” he stammered, narrowing his eyes.

“Jasmine and Anthony. Although, if you didn’t keep secrets from me, I wouldn’t have had to find out from them or bring it up like this to you,” you ranted, keeping your voice level as to not turn this into a full-blown argument.

“Did you ever think that maybe I can deal with my own problems? I don’t need to burden other people with them, like some people do. Like you,” he scoffed, getting up to walk downstairs.

“Oh, I burden other people? If anything, you’re burdening me with the worry of never knowing what’s going on, or if you’re okay, or if you need anything,” you spat, standing up as well.

“I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you,” he pointed his finger, letting it hit your chest, before grabbing a pillow and walking out of the room.

“Where are you going?” you called after him, walking to the edge of the door.

“I’m sleeping downstairs, I don’t need to be questioned for every move I make,” he remarked, before walking away.

You were left standing in the doorway, not knowing what to think or do, you slowly made your way back to the bed, where you laid down on your back and stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out where everything went wrong.

Ten - Stops doing special things

Your hips grinded against Daveed’s, a moan escaping his lips. You took this opportunity to slip your tongue in his mouth, fighting for dominance. You eventually let him win, but mainly because he squeezed your ass, causing a squeal to escape your throat, allowing him to take over with his tongue. He pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses across your jawline, down your neck and to your collarbone.

“Daveed,” you whined, wriggling in his grip.

“What babygirl?” he asked, bringing a hand up to your breast and squeezing, causing you to moan his name breathily.

“I-I need you,” you choked out, getting up and wasting no time in pulling him into the bedroom. As soon as the door was shut behind you, you quickly pulled off your shirt before attaching your lips to his, your hands roaming down his back and across his toned chest and stomach.

Moving your mouths in sync, you both managed to get over to the bed, Daveed lying down first, with you straddling his hips. You didn’t let your lips part at all, with the exception of the short gasps of breath you both desperately needed. You allowed your hands to roam his body, from his abs, to his abundance of curls, to his hips. As his hands roamed around you, his fingertips felt like they left fire across your skin, sending sparks flying with every touch. You fumbled with his belt buckle, pulling it open before pulling his jeans down to his ankles, where he kicked them off. He did the same with your shorts, wasting no time bringing a hand inside your underwear.

“Daveed,” your breath hitched in your throat when he slipped a finger inside of you, toying with you ever so slowly.

“Hm? What was that?” he questioned, his cocky demeanor taking over.

“Please fuck me, like right now,” you practically begged him, but he only stopped. He pulled his pants back on, mumbling things under his breath to himself.

“Wha-what was that?” you stuttered, slightly shocked that he just stopped. Normally he was all into this kind of stuff, so why was tonight any different?

“I just, I, uh, I’m not in the mood,” he said sheepishly, but you could see right through it.

“Bullshit, Daveed,” you accused, gathering your clothes and slipping them on as you walked out of the room.

“What? What’s so wrong with that?” he asked, getting defensive.

“What’s wrong is the fact that you’re lying to me, and I can see right through it,” you spat, yanking the door open and slamming it in his face, leaving him dumbfounded right in your entryway.

Eleven - Doesn’t answer certain phone calls

Things had been going smoothly with Daveed for the most part. Sure, you’d had your fair share of fights over the past few months, but it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

You both were finally off together for once, and you decided to take advantage of it and get dressed up and go out to dinner and a movie. It couldn't be more cliche, but you loved it nonetheless. As you twirled around your room, you and Daveed both getting ready, you sang along with the music blasting from Spotify on his phone. Your music taste varied greatly, from rapping clipping. songs to singing along with Moana.

However, you were in the middle of a verse in Wriggle (which Daveed found insanely attractive when you rapped and moved your hips with the beat) when you were so rudely interrupted by the music stopping and his phone ringing.

He walked over to see who it was, and once he saw the screen his eyes widened and he hurriedly ended the call.

“Who was it babe?” you asked, wrapping your arms around him from behind. He turned around in your embrace, hugging you back.

“No one important. Let's just finish getting ready,” he gave you a smile, his eyes twinkling when he looked at you. You still melted a little when he looked at you like that, but it wasn't something you expected to go away anytime soon.

Not long after, his phone rang again.

“Really? It must be important if they're calling you again. Go on, answer it,” you waved your hand towards his phone that was lying on the bed.

“It's nothing, really. Don't worry about it,” he pecked your lips, continuing to get ready.

“Who was it anyways? I know that if I called someone twice if they didn't answer, it would be for an important reason,” you pressed, not because you were nosy, just because you were generally curious.

“No one. Drop it,” hissed Daveed, defensiveness once again taking over his demeanor.

“I won’t drop it until you tell me who it is,” you argued, crossing your arms and standing in front of him.

“Since when do you need to know my every move? God, every waking moment I spend with you, all you do is cling onto my side like a child! I can’t ever get any space to myself! I might as well introduce you as ‘Hi, I’m Daveed Diggs, and this is my 6 year old daughter, Y/N’” he spat, raising his voice ever so slightly. His words dripped with venom, but it was something you were used to by now.

“I’m childish! Maybe I wouldn’t be like that if you just paid attention to me for once! All of your effort is put into your work. I might as well just be a maid, living here, cleaning up after you, taking care of you. It’s like I work in a goddamn nursing home with a 35 year old man! I do everything for you!” you screamed, letting all hell break loose as the words flew out of your mouth and hit Daveed straight across the face.

As you finished, you were breathing heavily, and Daveed stood on the side of the room with an apologetic look on his face. Tears were threatening to spill over, and you knew he saw that too.

He cautiously stepped towards you, watching your eyes. You shook your head and backed away from him.

“I can’t…” your voice broke, as you slowly stepped back, before turning around and rushing out of the room.

Twelve - Blackouts

Your situation with Daveed hadn’t gotten any better over the course of the past few weeks. You tried, but you couldn’t have a one-sided effort. You were planning on talking to him about it once he got home from work, but he wasn’t back at 4, like he normally was.

You played it off, thinking he was just running behind, finishing up some new verses or recording another part differently.

An hour passed, and you paced around the kitchen, worrying about all of the places he could be. You figured he had just gone out for drinks with the guys and not told you, that’s happened before.

Another 2 hours passed, and still no texts, no phone calls, no physically there Daveed. You were starting to think something bad had happened. What if he got in a car crash? What if he was thinking about the awful things you said to him and he got in an accident? Your pacing became quicker, the glass you were holding in your hand shaking.

You tried to take your mind off of things by watching some sappy movie, but it only made you feel worse about the whole situation. You tried to go to sleep, but you just tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep for more than a few minutes. Finally, at around 3:30am, you got up to get some water. You rubbed your eyes, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass.

Once it was filled, you turned around to take a drink only to be met by Daveed standing in the doorway. The glass slipped from your hand and shattered across the floor, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Jumping over the glass, you ran over him and hugged him as tightly as you could. You wrapped your legs around his waist and buried your face in his neck, breathing in his scent.

“I was so worried, I thought something happened, I didn’t know where-” you rambled, only to be cut off.

“I’m sorry, I was out. My phone died,” he stated plainly.

“That’s it? You were out? That’s all I get?” you asked. He shrugged.

“No big deal,” he said, starting over to clean up the pieces of broken glass.

“No big deal? Daveed I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere,” you croaked, looking at him with sad eyes.

“I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m fine, don’t worry,” he kissed your forehead before continuing.

“I’m going to bed,” you said vaguely, trudging up the stairs.

“G’night,” he called after you, but the door was already shut.

Thirteen

Coming home from work was one of the few things you looked forward to. All you wanted to do was curl up in some sweats and fuzzy socks and watch Gossip Girl while eating ice cream.

Starting up the stairs to your front door, you were surprised to find it already unlocked. Upon opening it, you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, meaning Daveed must already be home. This didn’t happen often, he had been working later a lot of the time lately.

“Daveed?” you called out into the house.

“Coming,” he called back, stumbling down the stairs in a pair of sweats and no shirt. You raised an eyebrow at him, prompting him to look down at himself.

“Oh, uh, surprise?” he said, but it came out more like a question.

“I’m sorry, I’m not really in the mood,” you sighed, heading towards the stairs.

“Wait!” Daveed grabbed your arm and pulled you back, taking you by surprise.

“What? Need help with something?” you chuckled, glancing down.

“What? God, no, how about we stay down here for a little bit?” he said, giving you one of his mile-wide grins.

“We can right after I change out of these clothes,” you said, wiggling out of Daveed’s grip and starting towards the stairs. You noticed a burgundy scarf lying on the bottom step. Picking it up, you turned to Daveed.

“What’s this?” you asked, knowing you didn’t own anything like it.

“It’s, uh, it’s a little gift to say I’m sorry,” he quickly thought, although you didn’t buy it.

“Then why does it smell like floral perfume? You know I don’t wear that,” you countered, taking a step towards him. He seemed to shrink back, shuffling backwards.

“I, uh, it was my mom’s! Yeah,” his voice turned up and the end, raising more suspicion.

“Oh, okay, well I’m just gonna go change…” you trailed off, shaking off the weird feeling and jumping the steps two at a time.

“Y/N wait,” he called after you again, but it was too late.

All it took was 3 seconds.

One to turn around.

One to open the door.

And one more to be met with a girl lying in your shared bed.

Not just any girl either, but your best friend.

You felt the tears drip down your face and onto your shirt before you even noticed you were crying. Briskly wiping the tears away, you whipped around to face Daveed.

“You,” the word broke you, it all becoming too real.

There was always a nagging thought in the back of your head that he would find someone better. Someone skinnier, someone smarter, someone prettier. He always pushed that off with a ‘I love you and only you, I always will’.

You never thought that the person he replaced you with would be your best friend.

It felt as if there was a ton of bricks dropped on your chest, like you were underwater trying so desperately to reach the surface only to have the air slip farther and farther away.

You were shaking, your lungs feeling like they were on fire. You sharply took in a breath, shaking your head at Daveed.

“I give you everything. I do everything for you, and this is what I get in return?” you ask helplessly.

“Look, Y/N, I know you’re upset but-”

“But what? What could you possibly have to say?”

“I still love you,” he croaked, his voice breaking.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have broken me,” you countered, shaking your head.

You stumbled backwards towards the door, rushing to get outside as fast as you could. You still couldn’t breathe, tears blurring your vision. You slammed the door, sliding down the front side of it until you were sitting, head in your hands, shaking and sobbing. He broke you.

Three years managed to get thrown away in three seconds, all because of thirteen reasons.

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mightbedamian · 8 years ago

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#TMIishTuesday #60 - Make a democracy a democracy!

Hey, This is a very important topic. Please keep reading - and most importantly: Go, use your vote! Be it upcoming Sunday, the Sunday after or any time later. Thanks! Hey there mighty people of the internet! And welcome to issue #60 of #TMIishTuesday - my weekly Tumblr post about what goes through my weird mind and on what you guys want to know more about. It can be something very personal, it can be something political, it can be completely pointless - but in 99.9 % of the cases, it involves opinions. And mine as well. // Last week I discussed bisexuality and the stereotypes and misconceptions regarding the topic. Check it out, once you're done reading this. :) // Within the next two weeks we have two elections coming up in Germany. Both are elections for state parliaments - those of the Schleswig-Holstein and North Rhine-Westphalia. Given the latest events in countries like the UK (Brexit), the US (The Trumpet), and France (Le Pen), it is even more important that you - you reading this - make use of your vote! Ever heard of the AfD? Let me give you a little bit of a break-down as to what happened in the elections mentioned above and then move on to the situation in Germany - and why I think we have some scaring tendencies here. 1. The UK, aka. "we want to leave the EU so badly!" - 23 June 2016 For the past few years there had been more and more public voices who felt the UK was not treated properly by the European Union (EU) - especially with regard to the migration situation (aka. the refugees coming into the EU being distributed equally among the member states). After a years-long debate, Prime Minister David Cameron kept a promise from his 2015 election campaign and held a referendum about a possible move of the UK to leave the EU. The weeks before the two campaigns were picking up speed and the closer the referendum came, the closer the parties were. In the end, it was a very close race, but Cameron's campaign to stay in the EU was not successful. It got 48 % of the votes. Which in turn meant that the UK has officially started talks to negotiate the terms of their leave. Also, as you probably know, the leave voters had a significantly higher average age than those who voted to stay in the Union. I already posted @glenrules's tweet back then in my an general update post on my life, but it's just ridiculous. And his caption "Ever been fucked by a pensioner before ? You have now." is just spot on! The younger population - and Scotland and the city of London - showed a high percentage of stay voters. Why do I tell you this story? You probably know all of the things I just told you. Well, the leave campaign got a mere 1.3 million votes more. With nearly 18 million people, who could have voted, but didn't. 35 % of those, who were allowed to vote in the referendum, didn't. But surely they joined in with the incredible vocal "this was not a fair referendum" shouts. I don't see how it was not fair. You knew the facts. You knew it would cost the UK millions every year to leave the EU. You knew your relationship towards the EU would change. You couldn't expect that you were allowed all the benefits at no costs. What would have worked: Preparing yourself well enough before the vote, checking both opinions, and finally: actually voting. Take-away: Go, use your voice! Vote! 2. The US, aka. "God bless this mofo!" - 8 November 2016 Elections in the US are quite a happening. Still, all the "Let's make America great again" and "Hillary for America" didn't quite get the people to the polling stations. Only 60 % of the voting eligible population actually used their power. And while Hillary Clinton got the popular vote (meaning she got more total votes), she still didn't become president. The American voting system is f*ed up! No, the Trumpet became president. And we saw the same we saw with the Brexit vote: People shouting: "This is not fair! We need a re-run of the election!" Well, I have to give you that: To me it also feels unfair when the majority of people voted for Clinton, but they got the Trumpet as a president. :D But: That's how their election system works. And has been working for centuries. You can't say "it's unfair". You knew how it worked. What would have worked: Getting the remaining 40 % to vote. Changing the election system during the last election period. Fleeing the country. Okay, leaving the country is not funny. I shouldn't say that. But the first two: Definitely! 3. France, aka. "Let's switch the political situation completely!" - 23 April 2017 The latest election in France shows how sudden a change can come by. From two parties winning pretty much every electoral district to winning barely any in just five years. This again shows how agitated the whole political situation in Europe has been lately. Take-away: Don't let the right-wing parties take over! France, if you're reading this: Don't be silly! Don't hand the Èlysée Palace to Madame Le Pen just like that! Right, let's turn to Germany cause that's what we're here for. Looking at recent polls, we can expect the AfD well above the 5% threshold needed to claim seats in the Bundestag, the German national parliament. As if 9% of the German voting population were asleep for the last few years - or simply feel SO "invaded" (quote by Bernd - pardon, Björn - Höcke) by immigrants. A party built on hatred. A party that basically denies the Holocaust. Höcke, spokesperson of the AfD in the German state of Thuringia and chairman of the party in the state parliament, called the Holocaust memorial in Berlin a "memorial of shame". Wilhelm von Gottberg, another member of the party, once mentioned a "flaw of guilt" which clearly states he believes the Holocaust is nothing you should apologise for. Yepp, and I could mention lots and lots of other statements. But it's not the topic of today's post. I think I made my point here: The AfD is an ultra-right party. Some say calling them "nazis" would be too much. But, quite frankly: They are nothing short of the stuff the NPD preaches. And you call them nazis. As far as I am concerned: Only because the AfD doesn't have the N of "national socialism" incorporated, that doesn't make them any better. Aaaanyway. This post should be more about why you should vote. The first reason is stated above: Don't give those ultra-right idiots any more power. The more votes for other parties, the less their votes will weigh. As long as you don't vote for them, I don't care what you vote - it's completely up to you. And that's why we should be proud of how far we've come! We learned the lessons from the Third Reich: Anti-democratic behaviour leads to dictatorship. Sooner or later. As Cicero told us more than 2000 years ago. What a wise man! Why is democracy important you might ask? Cause who care when you only have one vote and there are 60 million others, who also do? Well, I have some answers for you. 1. Every vote counts the same. If you vote, you can be sure that your vote counts exactly the same as any other vote. We don't have the conditions of the empire times where only certain people were allowed to vote - and those of the noble and the clergy would count waaay more than those of the "common bourgeois". That's freaking important! 2. You are free in the party you vote for. You have the choice. You can decide between the 30+ parties that run for the election (granted, if we're talking Schleswig-Holstein, there are only 13 parties. And no one can tell you off for voting for that particular party. Take a look to Turkey to know how a situation would look like when you were not allowed to choose freely. Do I have to say any more? 3. It's fun! If you're young, that sounds ridiculous. I know that. But: Politics are fun! Developing an opinion on topics you have an interest in - and on those that are very important - is cool! Not only does it help you when you engage in discussion with friends, family or class mates - it also makes you realise some stuff you wouldn't have realised before. It makes you realise opportunities. Go, catch them! Also: It fills me with a lot of pride that I actually haven't missed a single opportunity to vote. National, state-wide, communal, European - I used them all. You do the same, please! Btw, did you know that you can also vote, when you know you won't be able to on the day itself? Just request postal vote. There are forms online for the respective elections. If you forgot, you still have some time left. For the election in Schleswig-Holstein upcoming Sunday, the deadline for requesting your postal vote is Friday, 5 May, 12.00. For North Rhine-Westphalia you have 6 hours longer. The deadline is Friday, 12 May, 18.00. Whatever way you use to vote, whatever party you choose to vote - do the same as 78 % of my Twitter followers and go, vote! I'll like you a little bit more then! Go, do it! Do you plan to vote? If so, why do you think it’s important? If no, what’s your reason? Place a comment, tweet me, dm me, or do anything else you can think of to get to me. Queer Shoutout you say? Technically this isn't too much of a queer shoutout, but 1/3 is queer. That counts, right? It's just too fitting. Three wonderful videos on why voting is such an important part of a democracy. And why it's even more important in these times. Jodie Calussi gives you a little talk on the history of voting rights, Lisa Sophie talks about the difficulties of making decisions and help with finding the party that fits you best and Applewar's MasterJam and his friends created a lovely cover of Die Toten Hosen's song Willkommen in Deutschland to tell you that voting can keep those nasty AfD people off you. Check all those videos out. They deserve it! :) As always: Next #TMIishTuesday next Tuesday. If you have any questions in the meantime, just ask away. Whatever you’re curious about - I don’t bite. :) Until then: Stay mighty! Linkage: - glenrules’s tweet: https://twitter.com/glenrules/status/746228140792381444 - My post mentioning #Brexit last year: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/146622442867/tmi-ish-tuesday-16-wrap-up - Wikimedia graphic for the 2012 presidential elections in France: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2012_French_presidential_election_-_Second_round_-_Majority_vote_(Metropolitan_France,_communes).svg - Wikimedia graphic for the 2017 presidential elections in France: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:%C3%89lection_pr%C3%A9sidentielle_de_2017_par_d%C3%A9partement_T1.svg - Welt.de: SPD büßt noch mehr in Wählergunst ein: https://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/article164132054/SPD-buesst-noch-mehr-in-Waehlergunst-ein.html - Wikipedia: Election threshold: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Election_threshold - Fabian Leber for tagesspiegel.de: Flüchtlingskrise: Die AfD drängt auf die Straße: http://www.tagesspiegel.de/politik/fluechtlingskrise-die-afd-draengt-auf-die-strasse/12466360.html - Sidney Gennies for tagesspiegel.de: Nationalsozialismus: Die AfD provoziert am Holocaust-Gedenktag: http://www.tagesspiegel.de/politik/nationalsozialismus-die-afd-provoziert-am-holocaust-gedenktag/19310794.html - Zeit.de: Wilhelm von Gottberg: AfD-Politiker lehnte Distanzierung von Holocaustzitat ab: http://www.zeit.de/politik/deutschland/2017-03/wilhelm-von-gottberg-afd-holocaust-zitat-distanzierung - Wikipedia: De re publica: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_re_publica#Inhalt - NDR.de: 13 Parteien stehen in SH zur Wahl: https://www.ndr.de/nachrichten/schleswig-holstein/13-Parteien-stehen-in-SH-zur-Wahl,landtagswahl1190.html - Poll among my Twitter followers: https://twitter.com/MightBeDamian/status/859146811486998529 - Jodie Calussi: Ihr wollt es.. | 80% Challenge: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJNIPuQMk4Y - Lisa Sophie: Wen soll ich bloß wählen? - Entscheidungskrisen | ItsColeslaw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEy1_80PqRw - MasterJam: Willkommen in Deutschland (Cover Musik Video “Die Toten Hosen”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru91LJ_R6e8 Oh, and here’s some self-promo: - Last #TMIishTuesday: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/159982754723/tmiishtuesday-59-bi-what-on-bisexuality - All #TMIishTuesdays: mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/tmi - More #TMIishTuesdays on politics: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/mightbeserious - More very cool stuff: www.twitter.com/mightbedamian - Even more very cool stuff: mightbedamian.tumblr.com

#tmi #mightbeserious

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cvptaingiordano · 8 years ago

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FOLLOW FOREVER SPECIAL BIRTHDAY EDITION.

( nothing special about it but i’m fabulous so !! )

BEGINNINGS.

Hello folks !! Y e s y’all may be thinking that this is random as fuck - –––––– and trust me it is - and y’all may be wondering why the hell I am even making a follow forever right now ?? Like... there’s no reason to, right ?? L I E S. There’s a very few simple explanation for this. one being that i’m almost at 250 ( w o w w t f ?? where the fuck did y’all come from ?? ). another one being that today the shrek obsessed chick running this blog just turned 17 !! && she felt the need to show a few very important people on here how much they’re loved and appreciated !! so much shit has happened the few weeks where i’ve honestly felt that i’d lose my mind at some point and tbh y’all managed to keep me sane even if it seems as if i’m a little bit mad at times ( which trust me i need to go and get that checked lmao ) - for reals ya girl needs to thank a few special peeps for everything. so let’s go !! FOR ANYONE LOOKING FOR BLOGS TO FOLLOW I MADE SURE TO ATTACH ALL THEIR URL’S BELLOW. I ENCOURAGE YOU GUYS TO CHECK THESE GEMS OUT. I TRULY MEAN IT. THIS IS THE TOP OF THE TOP ON HERE. THE T O P OF THE T O P. FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, FOLLOW THEM. to the peeps prepare your anus for compliments and actual feels spread across big ass paragraphs. for y’all. *wishes a great birthday to self*

before anything imma just say that i only listed down the people that honestly make me feel blessed. no particular order and i just let myself get carried away down here. judge me all you guys want. p.s. i will be on discord all day and i would love to have some company here ey. ( social life be nonexistent today ) don’t know what i’d do without the four of you.

LITTLE OGRE. ( NAEVA )

@omenwept | wrathwept | tragedywept | miserybled | agonykissed | ( y e s me putting your url’s is my way of basically shouting at the world for them to follow your ass bc you deserve so much more recognition i ain’t even kidding. ) where do i begin omfg ?? i remember back when you followed me legit smashing that follow back button real quick after checking out rosalie. tbfh i’m not sure how you came across this trashy ass blog but nonetheless i am g l a d that you did. i do really mean it lmao, i am sO G L A D. - if it weren’t for that i doubt we would’ve ever bumped upon each other ( on here n shit - ––––– legit thankful for being able to have such a gem around on here ya don’t even know ) our threads are honestly killing me ?? and while i know that i’m slow a f usually i’m glad you haven’t told me to fuck off yet ( legit tho c; ) the ooc banter is great and so is us plotting even if it may take us a bit to actually get into it. our discord calls a r e lit as fuck - even if most of it is based on a shrek - memes and you legit getting triggered by how d u m b i actually am. surprised that you didn’t get annoyed yet lmao - –––– but ey c; I A M T R A S H H O N E S T L Y basically i’m so glad that you joined again and that you decided to give the until dawn verse *cough* shrek cult *cough* a try. you’re characters are truly one of a kind and as much as i’m slowly getting into pandora hearts ( actually obsessed with the manga already and i’m not even kidding - might even be extra and go out to buy the second band today even if i already found a site to watch it on c; ) and may not really understand everything y e t it’s obvious how much effort and love you put into those gems. basically i admire it like a lot. - ––––––– this butt does appreciate you - like a l o t - and basically i’m vv glad to have such nice banter whenever we talk lmao, whether it’s on calls, on chat or simple plotting honestly c: could be more though *wink* ;) *wink* GOTTA CHILL. i’m just trash honestly, not sure what to say since i keep on repeating myself probs. but yeah. ( and well i’m trash for everything basically like don’t even make me list it now ) SUMMARY LMAO. ya already know you can count on me for anything ey and you also know that imma be there no matter what and that i’m just trash for the banter and for the writing and for your charas and for shrek and for #triggered L O R E N A S T O P. okay lmao seriously tell me to fuck off already gotta chill this is turning into the bible ( let’s call it the naeva worshippers club ) i shall still be waiting for the day that you might get into league of legends - still sad you didn’t like it :c i shall cry out of happiness IF THAT EVER HAPPENS LMAO. thanks for everything friend !! LOTS OF LOVE. p.s enjoy the sims c; THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. ( look how fancy i am. formatting n shit )

SWAMP DADDY. ( ALEX )

@chaoticagony D A D D Y Y Y YAYSYYDSVUFYGFUSJO FUCK ME UP I MEAN IT FUCK ME UP. who would’ve thought that the until dawn verse would’ve brought to creatures like us together. i mean… one of a kind no ?? a shrek obsessed chick and some perfect gem who’s just too precious - what a paIR. the fact that this verse gave us the opportunity jump into each other’s boring ass day’s like it did is something that i’m extremely thankful for. ( and i ain’t even kidding ) where shall i start ?? day one - we both didn’t really talk at all - i was shit ass scared inside - because of everyone too - since i’m basically pure ass garbage in that group and everyone else is just s o gooooooooood. i remember jumping on your blog and checking you out and being so fucking in love with it - or how we were supposed to plot at first but we never really did because my ass sort of shat her own pants and was like omg no i’m annoying a f what is this :((((( wHO WOULD’VE GUESSED THAT SUCH A MESS OF A START WOULD LEAD TO SO MUCH BANTER ?? LIKE SO MUCH FUCKING BANTER W T F AND I LIVE FOR IT. like properly live for it i’m not even kidding. cards against humanity - for a moment i thought you did think i was some deprived ass cave woman who needed to calm her tits, bUT NO. and then the whole shrek inside joke turning into something serious and becoming a cult. i don’t even understand nor am i sure of how i managed to push it all that far - but clearly we all still enjoy c; ( or maybe not… ) basically i can’t believe that a verse allowed us to become friends and talk ooc as much as we do. literally it went from being an hour or two to a whole fucking d a y. like w o w me waking up - you being awake - us getting in a call - and then me staying up until 3 a.m still fucking talking. someone needs to call a psychiatrist before i lose my mind at night. - ––––––– honestly it’s just very surprising how fast it all happened, but nonetheless i am very fucking thankful for it all. loves you lots alex !! you know your butt can count with my spanish one whenever for anything c: - enjoy that sims game c; I’M GLAD TO BE ABLE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU IN ALL HONESTY. LIKE I’M PROPERLY GLAD. TIMEZONES CAN SUCK A N U T ALEX. L O V E S Y O U L O T S !! i hope you’re throwing up glitter all over the sims 2

DONKEYRIN. ( ERIN )

@humantovch | lcstrichards | ( both blogs since your butt really does need a shoutout. ) pff how the f u c k did a simple message of yours get us where it did. you broke the silence between the two of us and i’m just sO THANKFUL HONESTLY. Thankful to the point where i don’t know what kind of words to even use to express how in love i am with our banter and our plotting and our writing and just everything. shrek it erin, just shrek it. it’s funny how we both clicked in like not even 5 seconds. ten minutes into us plotting and we both were already trash for what we were going to do. that lead us to grow obsessed to the point where we had over 7 fucking paras at one point ( i think seven ?? ) which were as long as a testament confirming my d e a t h after all the angst we’ve put both mason and riley through. such a cute ass tHING LEAD TO US ACTUALLY TALKING LMAO ?? AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS W O W. it’s been a hell of a ride so far. and i don’t have words to express how lucky i am to be able to write with someone as great as you. i truly admire how well you write and i still don’t make much sense of how anyone so fabulous would even consider writing a simple sentence whether it’s ic or ooc to some shrek obsessed hoe. like for reals i don’t even understand ?? but i’m thankful erin sO THANKFUL. as i always say i don’t think we would’ve ever written together if it weren’t for you sliding into my dm’s that smoothly ( damn boi ) like even i was shook to know that someone with such quality would even tHINK ABOUT IT LMAO. TRASH ERIN I AM T R A S H. i’m blessed basically - blessed and i do mean it. clearly i’m super comfortable talking and that just speak for itself. i’m living honestly. ( just kidding - i’m deceased ) all i have to say is that once you leave i’m going to miss you a lot. are banter has already become something i look forward to whether it’s for plotting purposes or pure random ass shit. i’m just honestly deceased if i’m honest and i’ve already prepared myself a small coffin to drop myself into for that while you’re away. i shall resurrect from the dumpster like a queen. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING ERIN I MEAN IT !! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW THANKFUL I AM TO HAVE YOU AROUND AND YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING IMMA BE THERE TO HELP YOU !! LOVES YOU LIKE A FUCKING LOT EY.

QUEEN MARIESA. ( MARIESA )

@hunterscode | silvercursed | mariesaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. fuck me seriously. how the fuck did you find me with jupiter back then i don’t even understand. this ooc friendship was meant to happen right away and it did. like what the fuck why would you even decided to hit such a trash can up. i don’t remember who began talking but who cares really. just look at all the banter we have now and all the slow threads and all the gems. i’m so happy to be able to call you a friend of mine honestly. we went far to the point where now you even have an emoji of your own face :queenmariesa: and i am totes trash and i do mean t o t e s trash. ( besides thanks to that group verse of yours i was able to meet my dad - alex ) i’m thankful for everything relating us honestly. i can call you a mother, a queen, a mami i don’t even know anymore. whatever it is i know for a fact that i can go to you for everything and anything. you’ve helped me through some rough situations where i felt that i was legit gonna d i e and i know that sometimes i’m annoying as fuck but really you don’t know how truly glad i am to have bumped into my european homie. our mom - daughter jokes honestly never get old and I AM NOT SURE WHERE TO GO WITH THIS BUT I AM RAMBLING ALREADY. basically i’m just so glad that we stumbled upon each other that day - if it weren’t for us doing that i’d probably be rotting in my bedroom. now at least i’m blooming in there instead of turning into crap ( which i already am *wink* *wink* ) anyways mariesa i hope we’ll be able to write as much as we want to and get everything done someday as well as continue on our great ass banter which i am truly and honestly in love with. did you ever wonder how much of a coincidence it is for mason’s cat and jupiter to have the same name l m a o. just know that i am fucking trash and i truly do love you. thank you for being a friend that i know i can count on no matter what mariesa. you know i love you vv much bbYYY LIKE FOR REALS MY QUEEN I LOVE YOU <3

In the end. thank you guys for sticking around and making me crack up as much as you have. you’re truly loved and appreciated c: even shrek is getting emotional omg SOZ FOR THE LENGTH ACC NOT REALLY are you in tears... because i aM

BONUS EDITED BY ALEX LMAO

acc cried with this wtf

#( out of giordano .x )#// yes guys this got long for the few people that are on here but it's a different kind of follow forever so c:#// if it isn't obvious i really care about you guys and i hope your asses are aware of it c:#// or at least i hope this made it clear lmfao #( follow forever .x )

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