#it would have saved both these characters from the massive hate train that followed them wherever they went...

[doortotomorrow]

recho » how we get to peace

[checkoutmybookshelf]

The Next Generation

The Warrior Bards novels are to the Blackthorn and Grim trilogy as Star Trek: TNG is to Star Trek TOS. This is literally the next generation in this world, and it's exploring the lives of Blackthorn and Grim's children, both bioloigcal and adopted. What is absolutely wild to me is that where Blackthorn and Grim felt like more traditional, older-style historical fantasy (think like, 1980s Tamora Pierce or Mercedes Lackey) despite being published from 2014 to 2016, the Warrior Bard books feel very modern and very much what I would expect for historical fantasy published from 2019 to 2021. And yet despite the style changes, both series still manage to sound like Juliet Marillier. Let's talk Warrior Bards.

The Harp of Kings introduces us to Swan Island, a training ground for freelance spy/mercenaries, and main characters Liobhan, Brocc, and Dau. Brocc and Liobhan are Blackthorn and Grimm's children, and they are in training on Swan Island. This book follows them on what is technically a training mission, but it's a very, very live mission. You can't crown a king without a magic harp, after all. Dau and Liobhan are set up for their rivals to lovers arc throughout the trilogy, and Brocc is very, very clearly set up to end up on an intertwined but related path to his sister--there are fae involved.

A Dance with Fate has been mentioned on this blog before, in the very first post. It has a very complicated relationship with disability and the magical cure trope, which I won't go into too much depth here; the TLDR is that on principle, I hate the magical cure trope (seriously, disability is not a life-ender. You can live and live well with a disability, it does not HAVE to be cured), but this book does some interesting work with the grief that can come with acquiring a disability and the absolute fuckery that acquiring a disability can throw your relationships (of all kinds, but especially family ones) into. The previous book wasn't not character driven, but this book is CHARACTER DRIVEN, and I love that about it. It makes the stakes higher and the actiony, plot-y sequences weightier.

This book also really divides its time between Dau and Liobhan and Brocc, who is off in a Fae stronghold and very much on his own romantic journey that has some tragic-feeling tendrils woven through. Brocc is not my favorite part of this trilogy, but he is central to it in a way that, while reading, I was never mad about spending some time with him, especially because while he is geographically separate from Dau and Liobhan, they're deeply connected in terms of in-world geopolitics and plot. It's just beautifully balanced.

A Song of Flight takes all the threads that have been worked through the first two books and opens with a kidnapped prince, who's bodyguard is Brocc and Liobhan's elder brother, Galen. Swan Island turns out to find the prince, and Dau, Brocc, Liobhan, and Galen have to save both the magical and mundane worlds.

This trilogy is excellent, and does not require reading the Blackthorn and Grimm books before reading, and if you don't discover Juliet Marillier through the Wildwood books, I would actually recommend starting with this trilogy (unless you are a massive classical fantasy fan, then Blackthorn and Grimm might be a better place to start; your mileage may vary).

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Enies Lobby

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

this is still one of my very favorite nami panels. i think she’s really great through all of water 7 and enies lobby in general, actually, even though she isn’t really one of the characters in focus for a lot of it- like zoro and sanji, she stays pretty steadfast and very badass even though everything that happens, and never gives up on robin for a moment despite being one of the ‘weaker’ members of the crew. and it’s always fun to see her playing with lightning.

one of my favorite jokes from the first half or so of enies lobby is the strawhats both being completely unsurprised that luffy charges in ahead of them as soon as they arrive AND being able to find him immediately by following the explosions. they know him so well. 

luffy’s never been scared of dying, going all the way back to when he told coby he was fine with dying for his dream back in chapter two or three. that conversation is what his exchange with blueno here reminds me of- blueno asks him how long he intends to keep fighting, and luffy says until he dies, like there’s nothing to it.

it’s always been a trait of his to face death unflinching with a grin, so long as it’s for the sake of something he cares about, be it his crew or his brother or his dream, and i just really like that about him.  

i’ll go into it in the dressrosa post too, but i think it’s really impressive just how long oda held off on giving luffy any sort of significant power-up. he gets his first big power boost in the whole series here, forty volumes in. i’ve always liked that oda is very conservative with power boosts like this, because it both keeps the series’ powerscaling in check and makes the times it does happen much weightier. this is a monumental moment, and it feels like it.

also, i love the way gear two is drawn pre-timeskip, especially with the steam. it looks very cool and atmospheric.

i really like how united the strawhat crew feels throughout enies lobby, after all the internal turmoil and discord of water seven. even though the matter of usopp leaving the crew is still unresolved, they’ll all together once more, on the same page, and fully united in the goal of saving robin, whatever consequences it might bring. 

the tree of knowledge has such a cool design- it looks massive, and even more than that, it looks old. you look at that tree and you know its been there for easily thousands of years. its seen entire eras of history, and it would be priceless even without the countless books stored inside it.

and then it burns.

i’m so endlessly sad about the tragedy that is robin’s relationship with her mother. they never even got to see each other until their world was ending, and even then only for a couple minutes.

olvia is a very interesting character, because she’s someone who chose her dream over the people she loved. that’s not an inherently good or bad choice, but it is a choice she made, and it’s what led to the ending she and robin had to have. i’ve wondered a lot what might have happened if she chose the other way, if she never left or if she came back sooner or if she chose to flee the buster call with robin, and how different (and almost certainly better) robin’s life would have been if she had.

in a way, olvia reminds me a lot of kouzuki toki. they both die in order to fling a light of knowledge and hope into the future, and they both send their children away and choose to stay behind to choke on ash for the sake of a better tomorrow. 

i didn’t really notice until putting these panels together, but a lot of things burn in enies lobby. ohara burns, and the pluton plans and the world government flag, and enies lobby itself, and at the end, the going merry burns, too. if you extend it back to water seven, there’s the galley-la headquarters, too. in an arc that deals so much with the preservation and destruction of history and knowledge, it’s a fitting motif. 

the world government flag burning is still to this day one of the most striking panels out of a series full of them, in my opinion. in one act, the strawhats proclaim their absolute defiance against the world government, and their willingness to make enemies of the greatest power in the world for the sake of their friend.

it’s also another one of those moments that’s interesting to think about in the context of luffy’s past. it was a ship flying that same flag that shot sabo down, and while luffy wasn’t there to see it, i don’t think he’s oblivious to that fact, especially given how he says just before this he understands robin’s enemies perfectly.

dadan told him and ace that there was nothing they could do against the whole world, and luffy went and did it anyways.

sometimes i just think about how scary it must have been for robin, someone who’s been weighed down by the shackles of her past with no escape in sight for so very long, to open herself up and let herself hope, for life and freedom and a dream that’s always been out of reach. 

franky has a lot of really great moments between this arc and water seven- his conversation with usopp as usopp is working on merry and his talk with robin on the sea train are two others. it’s almost impressive how quickly he becomes an immensely likable character once we start getting to know him, given how he’s first introduced as an absolute piece of shit.

his burning of the pluton plans is a favorite of mine, and i think it might be because, like so many people before and after him, he’s choosing here to stake all his hopes on the strawhats, on luffy’s ability to pull off the impossible and on robin’s goodness. when robin’s only ever been chased and hated and called a demon by the world, franky chooses to trust her and luffy with the legacy his dad died for, and neither of them let him down.

monster point looks SO FUCKING TERRIFYING in enies lobby, and i LOVE it. look at that. franky is seven and half feet tall, and in front of monster point he’s tiny. monster point is huge, and dead-eyed, and a force of absolute destruction. i do kind of wish we got to see chopper go completely feral like this more often. he deserves to be terrifying!

i love how much FAITH all the rest of the strawhats continue to have in usopp throughout enies lobby. he left the crew and they really would have a right to be angry at him if they chose to, but it doesn’t even seem to cross any of their minds. they’re just happy he’s okay, and they include him again without missing a beat, because he’s still their friend and they know down to their bones they can trust him, even after everything. 

i’ve always really loved zoro and kaku’s little moment of post-battle banter here- zoro relays paulie’s message about cp9 being fired, kaku says he’s out of a job, zoro tells him to try the zoo, and kaku cracks up.

it feels very real to me for whatever reason, and i think part of it ties back into how well one piece handles morality with its characters- zoro and kaku are genuinely pretty similar people who get along decently, it just happens that they wound up on opposite sides. there are series where you’d never see moments like this due to the lines between good and bad being so firmly drawn, and i love how one piece blurs those lines so much they may as well not exist a lot of the time.

this is the other sequence, along with luffy climbing the drum rockies barehanded, that always makes me physically cringe to look at. it looks so painful. robin is so nearly powerless here, but not quite- she can still buy time for her crew to catch up, even if it’s only seconds, even if she risks shattering her teeth or even her jaw in the process. she’s spent so long giving up and has only just started daring to hope- she’s not about to go gentle.

there aren’t many panels that give me catharsis like this one. there really aren’t.

oda’s villains are usually complicated and awful and often a little admirable, if only for how clever or how terrifyingly powerful they are, but every now and then he comes up with someone who’s just pathetic and cowardly and pointlessly cruel. spandam is like this, obviously, and so is orochi, and the celestial dragons, and i’d argue flampe from whole cake island as well. and there’s nothing like seeing characters like them- weak, cruel people so assured in their own power and rightness- get obliterated.

one of the things i really like about enies lobby is that nobody really gets sidelined- everybody gets multiple chances to shine. luffy, usopp, and obviously robin are the most in focus, obviously, but zoro, sanji, nami, chopper, and even franky all get a bunch of individual awesome moments. oda’s ability to handle his cast satisfyingly is consistently really impressive (if sometimes strained in huge ensemble arcs like dressrosa or wano) and it really shows here, i think.

i just really love the entire climax of enies lobby. much like the arc as a whole, it just feels triumphant, even though the situation is extremely dire. luffy unlocking gear three, robin’s cuffs getting unlocked, usopp shooting spandam and the marines all the way from the tower of justice- it’s all just good, a long chain of much-needed victories and catharses, and it feels very good to read.

i’ll always be impressed by just how much characterization oda manages to give merry, a boat. she’s only really a character in water seven and the end of enies lobby, only about two chapters of which she actually speaks in. and yet i don’t think you’d find a single one piece fan who disagrees that merry’s death is easily one of the most heartwrenching in the entire series.

i love the reactions of the strawhats to robin’s thanks. they’ve just gone through hell to save her, most of them are beat to shit and they all risked their lives, and yet they all just smile, or brush it off, because to them there’s nothing else they could have done. it’s all worth it, so long as they got her back, so long as she’s safe and happy.

merry’s funeral just hits me in the chest every single time i read it. it’s tragic, of course, but there’s also something almost lovely about it, something peaceful about her getting to go out on her own terms, carrying her crew to safety one last time, defying every rule of the universe to do it. just like a strawhat pirate.

oda’s ability to communicate emotion through expressions really comes through here, too. merry has the only lines in this scene, fitting for her death in the limelight, but the shots of every other crewmate’s face let us know at a glance just what they’re all feeling and just how strongly they’re feeling it.

you know, i’d forgotten we only learn the name of the new world after enies lobby. we only get proper exposition about the revolutionary army and the yonkou here, too, despite them being set up since loguetown and jaya (or alabasta, or even chapter one if you count from shanks’s introduction) respectively. oda’s ability to parse out exposition and explanation so we always have just the right amount of information is really impressive- we always have more questions, but we also always have the feeling that those questions have answers, and that sooner or later they’ll be revealed.

points at shanks. i just think he’s neat.

it’s my opinion that one of the great joys of one piece is seeing luffy and the crew rise up in the world, and seeing them gain more and more notoriety. i love nothing they do ever happens in a vacuum- everything has impacts, and there are always outside eyes watching, and often those impacts are things that they never could have predicted.

ace and blackbeard is still, i think, definitely one of the coolest looking fights in the whole series. it’s not all that often we get to see two people with extremely flashy and showy abilities go all-out against each other, and the resulting fireworks are still really something to behold, despite how badly it all ends. 

[yamaoni]

The Second Great War of Remnant has begun. Once more, Vale and Mantle are embroiled in a massive conflict, only this time, they are on the same side against Atlas.

I don't think it was a coincidence that so many people drew parallels with the last episode and WWI. We've never seen people fight that way in RWBY. Grimm don't use projectile weapons the way humans do, so the benefits of the trench are diminished; especially if you compare it to the drawbacks.

Now, I understand not everyone in the Atlas military has their aura unlocked and the squishy soldiers need some cover, but if The Long Memory didn't nuke every grimm on Atlas, the lines would have been overrun and then there would have been nowhere for them to retreat to.

You think the very real hand to hand struggles in the trenches of WWI were bad, imagine being trapped in a narrow trench with a bear. Or having this thing explode out of the ground under you.

I refuse to believe no-one in Atlas ever thought, "if we put the dirt from the trench in a box, no only can we give our soldiers cover, we can also give them an elevated position to fire from."

The top of a wall has been the primary defensive position for the people of Remnant for a long time. You can see them in the establishing shots of most settled places the team has visited. So why are we seeing a trench now?

Simple.

Show, don't tell.

RWBY has done a pretty great job, especially in the last few seasons, of showing the audience what it is trying to convey without explicitly telling them. They especially like drawing from well known folk lore to give insight into the future of the show.

Only difference here, instead of drawing the parallel between characters, they're drawing parallels between worlds.

Remnant's first Great War started with Mantle suppressing freedom of expression, the destruction of Art and Color. Ironwood always has little in the way of color, but in his first broadcast since everything started hitting the fan, he has none.

That broadcast also included evacuation ships being blown up by fighter-bombers, Dunkirk. It threatend to level a city if they didn't surrender, Battle of Brittan. All delivered by a dictator trying to scare his opponents into submission through careful use of film.

Theories

If the rest of the season is WWII, I have several theories on plot direction. Considering how well they did keeping up with both ends of the battlefield it wouldn't surprise me if they followed all of them at the same time.

Operation Dunkirk

Or, the evacuation of Mantle.

Players: Penny, Nora, Ren, Happy Huntresses

The Happy Huntresses involvement is a given. Not only has saving Mantle been their goal the whole time, they're also stuck in the middle of it right now.

Penny is the Protector of Mantle. It would be a shining moment for her character to fully throw off the virus Watts implanted and overcome Ironwood's threats to do so. Just crossing my fingers that it doesn't end like the Iron Giant.

Nora is currently Penny's tether to sanity, so she has to go with, and I doubt they would separate Ren from her for the next arc so he's going too.

Surprise twist for this plot I'm betting will be the Starwars "they aren't warships, just people" scene everyone loves to rag on. After all, the broadcast went out that they needed help and, at least at Dunkirk, it was fishing boats and pleasure crafts that retrieved the 338,000 surrounded on all sides.

Why We Fight

Or, countering Ironwoods propaganda.

Players: Robyn and Qrow

For one, these two are unaccounted for and in the heart of Atlas' military machine. If anyone has means to do so, it's them.

The film, Why We Fight, also countered the dramatic cinematography of Goebbels propaganda by painting it as ridiculous and making a folksy call to action much like Robyn has done in the past.

Operation Fortitude

Or, the deception of Ironwood.

Players: Emerald, Jaune, Oscar

This is the mission to make Ironwood think the team is going after the relic. This theory is why I actually thought of and wrote out this whole thing. Thanks @maxiemumdamage, I had things I was supposed to do tonight.

https://maxiemumdamage.tumblr.com/post/644291955872890880/willing-to-bet-my-own-soul-that-emerald-uses-her

Only difference in my theory and their's, is Jaune is going to be playing the part of Penny.

I say this for two reasons. One, Joan of Arc pretended to be a man. While we've gotten both Jaune pretending to be something he's not and him in a dress, this would pose the first time in the story he could do both. Two, it would put him on a direct collision path with Cinder. It needs to happen at some point to bring his arc to a conclusion, but man I hope we're not about to watch him burn.

With Ozpin active again, Oscar has to go along to direct them to the vault. He's also one of two backing the idea of Emerald joining the team and Jaune wouldn't be willing to work with her without him.

Operation Overlord

Or, busting down the doors of Atlas Acadamy.

Players: Ruby, Blake, Weiss, Yang

Where Operation Fortitude was the faint, Operation Overlord was the real deal. For those that aren't history buffs, this is D-Day.

I think this is the reason we've only seen the main team fighting together once since their split from Beacon. And even then, that fight was at most pairs of fighters and not all four of them supporting one another.

RWBY tricked us into thinking season 4 was the post-timeskip level up we come to expect from anime when really we ended up watching the training flashbacks as they happened instead.

We've seen hints of it with the various team ups and combinations, but are we really ready for how much ass kicking they are about to do?

I'm hoping for a One Piece level of badass entrance that can give me shivers whenever I go to watch it again like the walk to Arlong Park still does to this day.

(Aside: if you try telling me RWBY isn't anime, I'm just going to ignore you. Anime is an art movement. If you don't understand what that means, watch this video. https://youtu.be/uFtfDK39ZhI)

Now last and certainly not least

Operation Valkyrie

Or, the death of Ironwood.

Players: Winter and Marrow

The long awaited defection. Plenty of speculation has already floated around about if and when these two where going to cave to their morals and jump ship. I don't know how many of us were expecting the straw to break the camel's back to be a nuke held over Mantle, but I certainly wasn't.

What worries me, is Operation Valkyrie failed and all its conspirators were executed. As if there weren't enough death flags for Winter before.

Even if it's not Winter that kills him. I don't see Ironwood surviving this season. Even if it means he goes out like another hated dictator. It's not like it would be the first time RT had a fallen hero chose to use his own sword.

Wildcards

Or, Murphy will have his due.

Players: Cinder, Watts, Neo, Tyrian, Mercury, Clover

These players can go any which way. Three we know for sure are going to be active in the coming episodes and I wouldn't be surprised if the other three play a part as well.

Oscar made a hell of a light show for Tyrian and Mercury to see behind them. Not to mention, Salem will still need a ride home when she pulls herself back together.

Clover keeps getting mentioned even though he's hospitalized. If he was truly out of commission for the rest of the season, they would have made us think he's dead before bringing him back like they did with Penny.

Up to now, what we've seen is a three way conflict. But one of the hallmarks of Remnant's First Great War, was making temporary alliances to fight off grimm.

The grimm might be gone, but the wild cards can't complete their own objectives if they are dead. The question is who's goals better align with their own.

Two surprise twists I can see here. One, Mercury stabbing Tyrian on his way to defection. He was raised by an assassin and has not going to get a better chance than that. Two, Clover joining Operation Valkyrie. He might have accepted that sacrifice is a necessary evil to ensure Atlas' survival, but might go Schindler's List on us and find horror in what Ironwood plans to do.

TLDR

I spent way too long writing this out. All the WWI imagery means we're getting a WWII movie with RWBY characters. Major death flags for Penny, Jaune, and Winter.

Also I finally figured out how to do a readmore. Apparently it's just been a long time since I updated.

Note: kept seeing things talking about clovers death and I kind of went ???? Isn't he barely alive in medical? Went back and watched that scene and though I am 90% sure he is dead still kind of weird that they have him in his own room instead of a morgue and the initial framing made my mind instantly think he was propped up on a hospital bed. I mean, I guess we needed to have all the ACEOPs there for their reaction to Ironwood... but it definitely made me think he was alive. That and they have a bandage on his chest wound... when he's supposedly dead. Also have a phantom memory of Harriet saying something about him being in critical but I think that's my memory playing tricks on me.

Having his face exposed instead of covered by the sheet and seeing him in the same frame as Winter being treated also didn't help my gut reaction of "Oh Shit! He's alive? How?!" If I'd followed up more on the "how" might not have made the blunder of writing his return as the final twist in my theory. Oops

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Mandalorian chapter 14 spoilers

I feel like it's too much to hope for to get the galactic team up we all so desperately want but I'm gonna humour the idea anyway and make predictions ab characters' interactions

Note: this is based off of my interpretations of the characters and their interactions with others. If you disagree, that is fine. Don't attack me because you think differently. You can tell me you disagree with my interpretations without being rude. I'm a human, and a massive fan, same as all of you. Thanks.

Cobb and Ahsoka would 100% be sarcastic bffs, possibly teasing Din, bonding over war stories. They'd respect each other a lot. Cobb tells her of his past as a slave and she's reminded of Anakin. Ahsoka tells him of all the shit she went through with both wars under her belt and he's just amazed she's made it so far. They definitely would have a secret handshake.

This was an idea a friend of mine and I came up with and I love it: Cobb would absolutely simp for Bo-Katan. Now, I'm 100% sure Bo-Katan would not return any feelings also I really don't think Cobb is romantically into women but Cobb would be like a little puppy, following her around and complimenting her and she just kinda half smiles but that's good enough for him. Cobb has a thing for Mandalorians that he wasn't even aware of himself and now he's surrounded by them.

Cobb is scared of Boba Fett. Especially when Boba wears the armour. Boba uses that knowledge to mess with him. Probably tells him about some made-up hardcore Mandalorian pre-battle ritual involving sacrificing someone from Tatooine. Cobb just nods and slowly backs away.

Bo-Katan and Ahsoka reunion. That's all🥰

I feel like Axe and Koska (assuming they'd come w Bo-Katan) wouldn't like Cobb at first/think he's annoying but he'd quickly grow on everyone and they'd all end up liking him, even Boba, though he'd still mess with Cobb.

Now before chapter 14 I for sure would've thought Boba would just hate everybody but that's changed given his respectful interactions with Din. (I guess the Dune sea taught this man a little bit of patience). He'd probably thank Cobb for getting the armour back from the jawas/keeping it safe, he'd definitely show the utmost respect to Bo-Katan, the true ruler of Mandalore, and thus her friends Koska and Axe as well. He'd totally bond with Cara Dune over some fighting technique or something cool like that. I don't know if he'd remember Ahsoka but it'd be cool if he did. I doubt he'd hold grudges against her for so long, and I'd like for them to be friends. I know Ahsoka's endless empathy would make her the best confidante.

No one likes Mayfeld. I mean, I'm sure they'd be nice to him. Ahsoka might tolerate him. Din would definitely try to be nice bc duh he needs Mayfeld to pull this off, but Mayfeld absolutely holds grudges and they have a history. I could see him eventually becoming friends with Axe and Koska though. Idk why, just a vibe.

Everyone treats Ahsoka and Bo-Katan with the utmost respect and awe. I'm mostly basing this off of Rebels lol. Both women have a presence that demands attention, and they're friends which makes them twice as powerful.

FENNEC SHAND. Listen, she's absolutely badass but she's totally a sweetheart. She ran up that mountain right beside Din to try to save the child, she was concerned about his safety. Mind you we're talking after she and Din became friends not when she had her gun trained on Grogu lmao. When Din is looking though the debris of the Razor Crest (rest in peace you wonderful spaceship) there's a shot of Fennec where she looks sad and sympathetic towards Din, we see she feels bad for him. Likewise, when Boba told Din they were in his service til the child was safely returned, she nodded very emphatically in agreeance. I know she's an assassin but that doesn't mean she's incapable of emotion, when she cares about someone, she cares. Everyone loves her. Mayfeld lowkey simps.

I doubt Peli would join them on the mission unless she stayed on the ship, but she'd definitely bring them snacks. And just like. Whip them out of her pockets randomly. They all love her of course. She calls everyone out on their bs. Fistbumps Bo-Katan. High-fives Ahsoka. Peli and Cobb are the life of the party. Din just smiles under his helmet.

[silverducks]

Game of Thrones - Jaime Lannister

A rambling character study of Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones.

Part 1a – Jaime’s Character Arc

This post is going to look at my thoughts on exactly how I see Jaime’s character arc in Game of Thrones, based on just the show. But it’s also to set up my future posts where I explain why I find it so darn hard to understand why he had the ending they gave him. At least beside the obvious - because the writers wanted to.

Yeah I know; I’m late to the GoT train wreck of a final series. But I have a lot of thoughts and hence why I’m here typing away.

(And this is where I start to really go all English Lit exam analysis on you, so a warning for anyone who actually might be reading this post, LOL!)

My Intro to this series of posts btw, is here.

So, spoilers be below.

Ok, so to help explain why Jaime’s ending makes no sense, I firstly need to explain what exactly his character arc is in the show, or at least how I perceive it. As mentioned in a previous post on honour vs loyalty, for Jaime I see his character arc being about two, interconnected things – redemption and identity.

In series 1 and 2, he’s not a nice character – he’s a self-righteous, proud, full of himself, snob. He’s arrogant and cocky and says pretty cruel, snide things to characters we do like. And as we see him through the PoV of characters like *Mr Honourable Eddard Stark, Jaime is pretty despicable to say the least. And that is before we even get started on the whole pushing a boy out of a window because he caught Jaime having sex with his own twin sister. Oh and just as an FYI, Jaime is also called the Kingslayer because he killed the King he was sworn to protect. So yeah, most people watching the show don’t like him at the start, and neither do most of the other show characters we do like.

And from a story telling perspective, Jaime’s character can either get worse, better or stay the same as the show goes on. And in this story, he gets better, with a few slip ups along the way, and it’s fascinating and glorious!!

Like, I can think of nothing that even comes close to the amazing way Jaime Lannister’s character develops in Game of Thrones and how we as a viewer change in our perception of him.

But that only makes his ending so much more frustrating and disappointing…

Before I start rambling away though, just as a point to note; I’m using terms like good and better person and right and wrong quite loosely here. Obviously the world, even in a fictional world, isn’t all that simple. As that would be a whole other massive thematic and philosophical thesis, and it’s not really that relevant, just take the “general” meaning of the ideas, but with the understanding I know it’s a bit more complicated. Where I think it does become more relevant, I’ll expand on the ideas in that particular context. If I sound a bit flippant at times, it’s because of the whole black vs white vs grey, and how there are “rules” in storytelling that wouldn’t necessary apply to our own, real life reality. There are things that we need to take into account when we analyse characters in stories vs actual, real people. And on a side note, this is one of my favourite things about Game of Thrones, the complexity and moral ambiguity of both its characters and its story themes. But yeah, that’s a whole thesis in its own right.)

Redemption Arc

So, redemption. In order for us to start to like this character, and see him as a good guy, he has to go through a redemption arc. Like pretty much rule number 1 of storytelling. That means we have to watch him and believe in him becoming a better person. Conversations like the whole oath vs oath issue, or his chat with his father about his nicknames in series 1 makes us take notice of a character, maybe even be more invested in a character and their shades of grey, but it’s not really redemption. And considering how far in debt he is in the good vs bad guy department, he has a lot of work to do.

And my goodness, he does it. Like, I mean, this guys’ redemption arc is astonishing! He goes through so much, rethinks and challenges everything he once thought/knew about himself and his world, faces all his past wrongs and bad character traits and becomes not even a better person, but a hero! He goes from a bad villain who kills kings and pushes kids from windows, to becoming one of the main heroes we’re rooting for by the end of the story.

(A quick disclaimer here, like I’m not saying Jaime is ever, or ever will be perfect, heck, he’s human and this is Game of Thrones and Jaime’s more messed up than most. But when you think back from where he started and where he’s been, it sure is impressive – if we ignore his actual ending that is, LOL!)

And his glorious redemption arc all pretty much starts around the time he starts his fun road trip with Brienne in series 3.

So, just to give a few of his finer redemption points (and just remember his series 1 and 2 actions and our opinion of him in contrast):

He stops Brienne from being raped and gets his hand cut off for the trouble (Ouch! But suffering, especially from doing something good, gives lots of redemption points.)

He risks his life to save Brienne from being mauled to death by a bear. Like, he’s recently lost his sword fighting hand and has no weapon, but he jumps in the bear pit anyway and puts himself between the bear and Brienne. He then helps Brienne out of the bear pit first and then only just makes it out alive himself. Oh and if that wasn’t enough, he basically tells the bad guys that he’s leaving with Brienne, or they will have to kill him. Like he says this to the guy who not so long ago chopped his hand off. (Just think on that one a minute ok.)

He keeps to his promise/oath to Catelyn Stark and continues to help her daughters by giving Brienne a priceless sword and some stunning armour so she can find and help them. (This also helps Brienne, because he knows she’s not safe in Kings Landing, and gives her a purpose, because he knows that’s what she needs.)

Firstly offers to sacrifice his own life needs and goals and those vows he’s now starting to hold more dear to save his brother. When said brother then screws up that opportunity, Jaime then also helps said brother escape from being killed, going against his sister and father, who want his brother dead. (Yeah, the Lannisters are an interesting family… And you wonder why Jaime is a little messed up?)

Takes RiverRun without any bloodshed. (Like pulls off the perfect bluff in GoT siege history so that he can make sure his army succeeds, but no one is killed. (I don’t count the Blackfish, who chose to fight to the death rather than escape/get taken prisoner.)

Joins the fight for the battle against the dead, even if it also means renouncing his entire house and lineage and putting himself at the mercy and judgement of pretty much all his enemies and all he has wronged. (One of which has a habit of roasting her enemies alive with Dragon fire)

Oh and also risks his life in above mentioned battle against the dead.

A pretty impressive list imho, lots of redemption points there and that’s not even including everything else he does. Following the general storytelling themes of forgiveness and redemption, Jaime basically ticks all the boxes by all the good deeds he’s now done. And that’s one of the major reasons why we as viewers now love him so much as a character.

But that’s not all, of course. As we discover also in series 3 (a pretty important series for our Jaime), it’s not even just about him doing good things, but we realise as an audience we’ve (intentionally by the show) completely misunderstood him! Yes, he did kill the King he was sworn to protect, but only because said King was mad and was about to blow up the entire capital city where hundreds of thousands of innocent people live. And not only did he do this incredible honourable thing, but because it did go against his vow as a Kings Guard, he’s ever since been derided as the Kingslayer, Oathbreaker, Man without honour. A horrible set of nicknames that he’s borne, because he doesn’t think people would care or understand anyway. (Of course, I want to add in here that it’s partly the negative trait of pride too, thinking himself as the Lannister Lion, above having to explain himself to the sheep.)

Anyway, all this has worn him down a lot over the years and it’s messed him up good and proper. It kinda makes your own initial dislike of Jaime through *Mr Honourable Eddard Stark’s eyes seem a little unfair. Especially when the guy was barely more than a kid at the time (16 or 17 I think). And his defence mechanism to deal with this is one of the reason’s he is so cocky and arrogant – he uses his dry, often cruel humour, to mask that he does actually still care. In fact, it’s worked so well, I think at the start of the show, Jaime believes it himself; that he is a horrible, hateful person. But he did have that honour inside of him once; he did care and try to do what was right. And when you think back to his scenes in series 1 and 2, they take on new meaning now. He’s no longer such an evil arrogant, cocky knight we all pretty much immediately hated.

And as this revelation happens around the same time as he starts doing all those good deeds, it all helps work together to make us re-evaluate Jaime and grow to love him and become invested in his redemption arc even more.

(*I feel the need to add a disclaimer here, I do like Ned Stark a lot as a character. But it is interesting that as the show goes on, he almost does the opposite to Jaime – we see he actually isn’t always as good as we thought, that perhaps honour tripped into bitterness and prejudice a few times. That perhaps Ned, as much as we like him, is less full white and more speckled in shades of grey after all...(which makes him a more interesting and nuanced character imho, so rather than undermine him, it makes him more human.))

And when I rethink Jaime’s scene with Robb Stark when he’s captured, where he gives Robb the choice of ending the war if Robb can beat him in single combat, well, it adds even more depth to his character. Of course, Jaime knew he would likely win, as did Robb, so Robb refused. And as a viewer who was all Stark=Good, Lannister=Evil (except Tyrion) at the time, I was glad Robb wasn’t stupid or arrogant enough, like the Kingslayer Mr Jaime Lannister, to fall for that.

But then I remember the parallel in series 6, when Jon Snow (Stark=Good) gives exactly the same choice to Ramsay Bolton (Bolton=Spawn of Satan). Ramsay can either fight Jon in single combat, or they can all send their troops to die in their war. And as a viewer now, NOW! I think Ramsay is weak and awful for not agreeing (because he knows he can’t win too) and so sending all these soldiers to an early grave. Which is like 100% opposite for pretty much the same scenario of its series 2 counterpart. Of course, we HATE Ramsay and he has no, I mean literary NO! redeeming qualities, unlike Jaime, who we never, ever hated in the same way. But it does make you think about the whole idea of perception as well as actual deeds here. And that actually Jaime, you could argue, was doing the honourable thing by asking Robb for single combat, to spare the lives of both of their armies… I mean, obviously he wants to win the war, but maybe, he also wanted to spare as many lives as he could, too – like Jon in the series 6 equivalent. Maybe not so arrogant a request from our Jaime after all…

And another point to add in here, which further adds up to Jaime’s redemption arc, is Lady Brienne of Tarth. Yes, I’ve saved her to last for a reason, as she is, imho, THE catalyst for this amazing change we see in Jaime. If you’ll notice, a lot of Jaime’s good deeds involve Brienne and start happening around the time the two characters meet. And that very fact further proves that Jaime was and can be a better person.

He does not like her at first and she’s not quite your typical maiden. Not only is she a “beast” (to quote Jaime), but she’s a fighter, full of honour, self-sacrifice and steadfast in her purpose, and more than a match for him. Oh and she’s also his captor, dragging him to Kings Landing with a rope around his hands so they can trade him for the Stark girls.

So yeah, not the most cordial of first meetings. He pokes fun at her, trying to get her to snap, to prove she’s not as good as she seems. But she doesn’t, because she is that person, she is true to herself and not pretending. Unlike so many people Jaime knows, she is genuine.  

And he’s impressed by her skill and courage as a fighter as well. She is able to best him in the sword fight (granted when his hands are tied and he’s been sat in a cage for over a year, but he is like renowned for being one of the best sword fighters in the entire realm). Also when she fought the men who had murdered the women they found hung along the road – both as justice and to give the murdered woman a proper burial. She isn’t all talk, she can, and does fight. I bet Jaime wasn’t expecting that! And as sword fights are his thing, what he pretty much defines himself by and is most proud of, that’s a pretty big for tick from Jaime for Brienne right there.

Basically, she is a) an honourable person b) sticks to her oaths c) also able to fight (and therefore protect people) and d) refuses to let him get the better of her. The perfect, chivalrous embodiment of a brave, honourable Knight. A true Knight in all but name, whilst Jaime is now a Knight in nothing but name.

Now, I’ll discuss this more in the identity arc bit, but basically all this challenges Jaime, makes him rethink his own bitter images of himself and his world. She reminds him of his younger self, when he wanted to be that honourable Knight. And seeing this reflection of his younger, naïve and less world weary version of himself in Brienne, it helps to trigger this change in Jaime. It makes him remember who he once was, what he once stood for and believed in; that ideal that Jaime once believed is actually possible - of the brave, worthy Knight people sing songs about. And it started to make him want to be that person again. And this in turn, makes him want to start to do the right thing, to start to put honour first, which paves the way for his redemption arc very nicely.

I won’t talk too much more about Brienne here, because I think her relationship with and influence on Jaime deserves its own post. But I do think it is the specific personality of Brienne, together with the very fact that she is an ugly, “beast” of a woman, that triggers Jaime’s arc in just the right way and enables it to be so profound.

One last note on his redemption – I’ve said before it was partly his Lannister Lion pride that caused some of his suffering in relation to his nicknames. And indeed part of his arrogance is because he does think he’s better than everyone else (although not to the extent we first thought). He is the Lannister’s golden son after all and the Lannisters are basically the most powerful and wealthiest House in Westeros. It is a bad trait, yeah. But even this, even this! gets sorted out in series 8. From my list of redemption points, see the second to last point above – he faces judgement. Like a guy who had too much pride to admit he actually killed a King to help save hundreds of thousands of lives, actually, of his own volition, faces his enemies to be judged and to atone for what he has done wrong. Yeah, he also offers excuses at said trail, but if I’m honest, they do sound quite genuine to me. Is it any worse than what your typical soldier would do in a time of war? Fight in a battle and kill people? Try to capture the person (Ned) who’s wife captured your brother to avert a war? And we already know now he was justified in his killing of the mad King.

So, all in all, with this new insight into Jaime’s character, especially also seeing him through the increasingly positive eyes of Brienne (more on that later), who we know really is good and honourable, we have both a better understanding of his past actions, see his ongoing internal struggles and conflicts as he strives to do what is right and along with all his good deeds as the show goes on, we see him slowly (with lots of unfortunate set backs as well) become a better person. So come series 8, his redemption arc up to THAT scene, is glorious and basically complete.

And then there’s his identity arc. The other side of his character development, which is just as important for me and very much interconnected with his redemption.

(Like, seriously, there’s so much going on with this character that I could write essays, no a whole thesis I bet! I seriously can’t wait until I get to read him and Brienne’s chapters in the books and discover even more sides and shades to this character.)

But I’ve rambled on for far longer than I intended on his redemption arc, so I’ll save his identity arc for another day. (And hopefully it won’t be as long). Then we can get into the fun stuff like that hand he lost, that famous bath scene and his, how to put this, interesting relationship with his sister…

#If you were brave enough to get this far #Thanks for reading #And hope this made sense #Just my rambling thoughts #Yeah, I have a lot

[rae-is-typing]

Sick Day

Notes: This was requested by a lovely anon, and it was inspired by my past few days. Enjoy :)

Original request from anon: Can you write an Avenger imagine, where the reader is the youngest of the cast and gets sick/has an accident on set?

Description: You get sick. That’s it. That’s the fic.

Characters: reader, original female and male characters (manager named Masha, assistant named Alis, an EMT named Esme, trainer named Nick), RDJ, Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johanson, Elizabeth Olson, the Russos

Warnings: Swearing sickness, vomiting, mention of pepto bismol (that shit’s NASTY), swearing, homework

Word count: 2.9k

You don’t get sick.

You don’t have time to get sick, so you don’t. Between filming, training, and school, sickness is absolutely not an option Simple as that, right?

Well, your body didn’t get the memo.

Your body is racked with chills, but you’re sweating profusely. You chalk it up yo the intense scene you’re filming; your character and Robert’s character just got into a massive screaming match over your character’s secret identity being revealed. But in the middle of the second take, your words dissolve into coughs.

"No, Tony! It's not okay!" You shout, whipping around to face a very pissed looking RDJ. "I-" A cough disrupts your words. "I don't-" This time you break down into a fit of uncontrollable coughing, even going as far as doubling over.

"Cut!" Robert rushes over to you, placing a hand on your back. He makes you stand up fully. He speaks up when you finally stop coughing. “You alright, kid?" You nod your head, rubbing at your throat.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry, I have no idea where that came from." A smile tugs at his lips. "Don't apologize, Y/N. It happens."

Alis, an assistant, comes over with a bottle of cold water, placing it on your hands with a curt not. You thank her and open the water, taking a few slow sips as the Russos offer feedback on what you managed to get through.

"That was are best take until the coughing. Whatever you did before, do that again." You try not to beat yourself up over the coughing; it's show business, it happens.

Getting back into position, you two manage to finish the scene with minimal interruptions. During your yelling match, your head begins to pound. It's not the light pounding you get when you didn't get enough sleep or you're dehydrated, it's the kind where you're sure that your old band director is leading the entire drum line on your brain tissue, or something is punching your skull with little pistons.

The second "Cut!" rings out through the set. You deflate, rolling your shoulders and rubbing your head. You trudge over to a small bench near the set and plop down, stretching your now aching limbs in the process.

Being the (mother hen) good mentor and costar he is, Robert realizes something is wrong very quickly. You're usually very bubbly after scenes end, the adrenaline still coursing through you. He can only think of one time he saw you like this, and that was right after you took the SATs. He calls over Alis again, asking her to get some green hibiscus tea with honey and acetaminophen. Alis is back within five minutes. He walks over to you and sits by you.

"Here, take these." You frown at the to-go cup and the small container in his hands, but ]take them anyways.

"What is it?"

"Tea, and tylenol. They'll help with your headache and cough." He says, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, thanks, Robert."

"Course, gotta help my favorite kid." He says, pushing himself off of the bench. "Now, I don't know about you, but I am starving. What do you say we get a bite with the others?" He extends a hand for you to take

"Sure," You say without thinking. Any time with the cast is great, even if you're extra tired and achy. You let him pull you up. The cast orders sandwiches from a little shop in downtown Atlanta, very close to the set.

You're gathered in a larger, mostly empty save for a few couches and chairs part of the set where you often meet. Everyone is talking. They're either going over that days work and characterization, recent events in the news, and their weekend plans. Your sandwich is a little off. It smells fine, it's exactly what you ordered, but it tastes... off. Something in it is making your stomach churn and grumble. You place the sandwich back in the wrapping it came in, fold it up, and throw it away.

That's enough for tonight, You decide. "I have school stuff that I need to get done." You say.

"Aw, okay. See you tomorrow!"

"Fuck school,"

"Language!"

"Shut the hell up, man."

You smile as you walk to your trailer. You do have school, you always have school, and it sucks major ass. The suckiest thing you have to complete is a seven page, MLA format, argumentative research paper about birth control in the developing world. And, oh my god, you would rather be hung upside down by your toe hair than write that fucking paper.

But you write it anyway.

Why? Because it's due in two days and you haven't started it yet. So you buckle down, ignoring the headache you have and your churning stomach, and do the damn thing.

You get three pages in before you decide that being tired isn't worth this paper. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning each day to train for two hours is definitely not your favorite part of your job, but it is some of the only alone time you’re able to get, so you'll take it. You stand up from your desk and immediately regret moving. Dizziness overcomes you. You flop back onto your office chair and press a hand to your forehead.

Taking a few deep breaths, you get back under control and stand up much slower. This time, you're able to walk to your small bedroom area with an attached bathroom. You wash your face, being extra careful as to not make yourself pass out from dizziness. You do the same when brushing your teeth.

During the night, you get all of two and a half hours of sleep. You toss and turn all night, unable to ignore the churning in your stomach for long enough. And the fact that you're hot one second and then freezing the next. it is impossible for you to sleep for more than a half hour at a time. But you eventually do.

Assuming that's the end of it, you sleep deeply until cramping in your stomach forces you out of bed. you make yourself sit up. A wave a nausea comes over you like a tidal wave. You hobble to the bathroom and lean over the toilet just in time.

Bile and your half-eaten sandwich forces its way from your stomach, up your throat, and into the toilet. It's gross. It smells vile, its chunky and the strain makes tears come to your eyes. You dry heave and cough until you're sure everything is out. Feebly, you flush the toilet and leaned back against the wall across from it, deep breathing until you stop crying.

Unaware of the time, you stay there until you feel strong enough to get up and brush your teeth. You hobble back to your bed, and lay back down. This time, falling asleep again.

A knocking on your door pulls you out of your slumber.

"Y/N? You need to get up." The smooth voice of your manager, Masha, floats through your door.

You jolt awake, now remembering that you have to train. "Shit, what time is it?"

"Six AM. I'm opening the door," Masha says, while opening the door. You wince as the light seeps in, covering your eyes.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" She asks. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, I'm good. Shit Nick is waiting. I'll get ready, gimme like two seconds," You ramble, stumbling out of bed.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, hold on." Masha says, putting both hands on your shoulders, steadying you. Huh, you didn't realize you were wavering.

"You're burning up, Y/N." She observes, pressing the back of her hand on your forehead. "I think you're sick. Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"Have you thrown up or anything? Headaches? Lie to me, and it won’t be pretty."

“I threw up,” You croak, flopping back on the bed.  

"Alright, I'm going to get Esme, stay here, lay down." Masha speaks quickly, pulling out her phone.

Esme is the lead EMT on set. She was an RN for years before transferring to emergency medical services. The stunt doubles and the actors take major precautions before stunting. However, some things can't be avoided, hence the EMTs.

Esme comes into your room in no time, followed closely by a worried Masha.

"Alright, Y/N. What's wrong?"

"I'm a little sick right now."

"Alright. Symptoms?"

"Chills, headaches, I uh threw up a few hours ago..." You hate admitting it. That means you won't be able to do much today. It's apart of your contract. If you get sick, you have to take at least two days off because you're a huge liability for Marvel. Being a minor kinda sucks.

She nods. "Alright hon, follow my directions." Esme checks you out thoroughly. After telling her about your weird sandwich, she nods knowingly.

"It looks like a fever, and that sandwich made you throw up. Get some pepto bismol and tylenol. Make sure to drink a lot of water and other clear liquids. Eat the BRAT diet, and you'll be good to go in a few days. I suggest making a doctor's appointment today, though. I can’t diagnose you."

"Alright, thanks Esme." Masha says as Esme leaves. She turns to you, sighing. "I'm sorry, N/N. I'll get what you need from a store, let the Russos know, and make the appointment. I think you should go back to sleep if you can."

"Thanks, Mash. You're the best."

She smiles gently before leaving. You turn on your side and pull the blanket over your head, eventually dozing off.

The veil of sleep is slowly lifted as you blink your eyes open. Thanks to some great blackout curtains you have, no light seeps into the trailer. This time, you don't feel nauseous. However, an inkling of dizziness is still there. You stay in your position for a few minutes until you reach for your phone. A ton of notifications appear on your lockscreen.

3 missed calls from Masha the Manager

Messages from Masha the Manager

Y/N, Nick is waiting. Where are you? Sent: 5:30

Get up now, Y/N. Sent: 5:30

Y/N. You're scaring me. You're never late. Sent: 5:43

Everything you need is on the counter. Read the note first though. Sent: 7:00

Message from evans

Hey Y/N. Heard you weren't feeling well. Lemme know if I can help, okay? Sent: 7:15 AM

Message from Romanian Bitch™

Masha told us you're sick. Feel better we need you! Sent: 7:19 AM

Message from Stanky Stark

Get better soon okay? Sent 7:19

Messages to No Boys Allowed!!!

ScarJo: get well soon babe. let us know if you need anything 7:20

Scarlet Bitch: aw, feel better N/N Sent: 7:21

It warms your heart knowing that they care so much about you. You send a simple thank you to each one of them and close your eyes again.It only takes a few seconds for you to remember all the homework you have to do. Your eyes snap open and you groan.

You do not want to do homework. But you have two whole days with no training and no work, so why wouldn't you? That thought is all you need to get out of bed. You don't bother changing. You migrate to the small living area, and go to the counter where Masha had set all the stuff. You found the note quickly, and read Masha's half print, half cursive writing.

Y/N,

Take two doses of pepto and two things of tylenol, but read the instructions!!! Eat some applesauce or toast, and call me if you get any worse.

-Masha

You unpack the canvas bag and quickly take your medicine. After that, you take all the food with you to the couch. You plant yourself on the soft sofa and dive into your work.

Being interrupted every few minutes with coughing is not the ideal space for productivity, especially because your throat is becoming increasingly raw. You put your phone in a drawer in your desk so you aren't distracted. Like most teens, you have a bad habit of prioritizing your phone.

A knock on the trailer door pulls you out of your focus. "Y/N, it's us!"

"Come in!" You say, still typing. You cringe at how sore you sound. Scarlett and Lizzie come in, still in costume.

"We can't stay for long," Scarlett starts, looking very apologetic. "We have a five minute break and we wanted to check on you."

You smile, setting your computer to the side. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it."

"How are you feeling?" Lizzie asks.

You shrug. "I'm okay, I guess."

"What were you doing?" Scarlett asks, spotting the half finished essay on your laptop. "You're supposed to be resting."

You sigh. "Yeah, but I should just get it done..."

The three of you talk about how shooting is going, and the production of the film in general. It's going smoothly. Nothing is going wrong. Soon, though, they have to leave. You're left to your own devices for another few hours.

Now that you’re revising the paper, your eyes ache, your left hand is cramping up, and you're positive you gave yourself carpal tunnel.

Another knock on the door reverberates through the trailer.

"Open up, kiddo!"

"It's unlocked." You snap back, not unkindly. Anthony and Sebastian walk in. You stop typing for a second to smile at them. "Hey,"  

"Hey, N/N." Sebastian smiles back. "We brought you soup."

Your face twists up. "Is it from the sandwich shop?"

"Nah, Masha told us that made you sick. This is from the high-end shop across the street," Anthony says, handing you a warm styrofoam bowl and a spoon. he also takes your laptop. "What are you writing an essay for? You’re sick! And a kid! Kids don’t do school when they’re sick.”

“What do you know about kids?” You smile, leaning forward to reach for your laptop.

"Nuh uh, no no no. You're going to relax while we're here, okay? And for your information, I have three children."

You cock an eyebrow. "Uh huuuuhhhh," you draw out.

He rolls his eyes, saves your essay, and turns on the television that you rarely use. "Alright, N/N. Netflix or Hulu?"

"My essay."

"Hey siri, does netflix or hulu have a show called 'My essay'?" You shove his shoulder lightly with a scowl. Sebastian is having a grand time laughing at you while eating his own soup.

"Alright, alright. We'll watch The Office, it's one of your favorites." Anthony chuckles.

You huff, leaning back on the couch and pulling off the cover to your soup. "Fine."

"Michael Scott is such a bad boss." Sebastian remarks.

"How dare you!" You gasp, your voice cracking severely.

"I can't take you seriously when you sound like a twelve year old boy." He retorts.

"You're being mean,"

"Mmm sorry sweetheart," He chuckles.

The three of you watch a couple episodes before they have to leave. You thank them for their time and the soup profusely. They wave you off, saying something along the lines of 'No problem, kiddo'.

After they leave, you snatch up your laptop and make the final revisions on your essay. There, finished in two days, and all it took was eating a bad sandwich. You should totally do that more often. (No you shouldn't. Never doing that again.)

You opt for more Michael Scott and some ginger ale mixed with Gatorade. You fall asleep on the couch huddled under a fleece blanket you retrieved from your room area two more episodes in, and wake up to gentle knocking and someone calling your name.

"Y/N? You there?"

"Yeah." You call, voice thick with sleep.

"Can we come in?"

"Sure?" You say, burrowing under the blanket. The door opens revealing Chris Evans and Robert, both looking tired after a long day of filming.

"Did we wake you up?" Chris asks.

"Yeah, it's fine though," You yawn, sitting up slowly.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that kiddo,"

You shrug. "What's up?"

Robert gives you a dad smile. "We just wanted to come see how you're doing. Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I guess. Don't feel pukey anymore."

"That's good. Anthony said you were doing homework all day?" Chris asks, tone not too far from accusatory.

"I had an essay to do." You defend.

Robert clicks his tongue. "You're supposed to be resting, Y/N, not doing homework."

You pout. "I still had to get it done..."

"Alright, no school stuff tomorrow, okay?" Robert orders. "Rest only."

"Rest only." You repeat.

"Alright, now go to bed. You look exhausted."

"Okay. Thanks for checking on me," You stand up slowly, paying close attention to how you feel. You give each of them a hug before going to your room.

You check your phone, again giving in to those bad habits.

Message from Masha the Manager

Doc appointment at 1 pm tomorrow. He's gonna make a house call.

Sent 7:28 PM

You shoot back a quick 'K' before turning it off and laying down for the night.

[muertawrites]

Two Halves - Chapter Ten (Zuko x Reader)

Part Nine

Word Count: 2,750

Author’s Note: We’ve had enough sad. Like, in general. So I wrote some happy for this week’s update. This chapter was originally going to be longer, but I decided to save the rest of it for next week since it ended pretty nicely where it is.

I feel like now is a good time to mention that I haven’t read the comics (I didn’t even know there were comics until like two months ago) so if you’ve been wondering why this story diverges so much from them, that’s why. I see the canon and I think it’s great, but it’s just so much more fun to write my own interpretations of what happened to everybody after the war. Sorry not sorry. 

I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things. I felt pretty okay yesterday, and I’m starting to not immediately hate everything I produce and am remembering how to talk myself up again after forgetting that anxiety and depression don’t rule my thoughts when it comes to my creativity. Things are still gonna be weird for a while, but we’ll be fine eventually. That’s how the human condition is - we always swing back at some point. 

~ Muerta

“What do you know about Fire Nation prisons?” 

You expect Rina to falter at the question. She doesn't even flinch, continuing to dress you as if you asked her what she’d had for breakfast. 

“What do you want to know?” she wonders in return. 

You gaze off, allowing your mind to roam as you consider her question. 

Since your return to the Fire Nation, Zuko’s attentive attitude hasn't changed, and your fondness for him has grown in ways you never expected it would. During council meetings, it’s become a habit to hold his hand under the table where your advisors can't see (though Yong has caught you once or twice, smirking as if you were two school children passing love notes during class). You spend more time together in the evenings before bed, and some nights you invite Zuko to sleep beside you, missing his presence since returning to separate rooms - he’s always gone before sunrise to discourage any scandal (despite the fact that you're married), never leaving without a kiss to your forehead and a murmur of, “See you soon.” It’s also become routine to meet him by the turtle duck pond when you each have a moment to spare, the little creatures getting so used to your presence that many of them freely approach you, pecking at your palms in the chance you have a treat for them. 

“My mother and I used to do this,” Zuko confides during one of your breaks; it's the first cool afternoon since the beginning of summer, a few leaves from the overhanging maple tree floating on the pond’s placid surface. “I remember throwing a rock at one of the ducklings when I was a kid. Its mother bit me.” 

You giggle, opening your hand so a young male can nibble at the apple peel you hold out to him; you attempt to scratch his head while he eats, and he squawks at you. 

“Good for her,” you jeer. “Serves you right for being a dick.” 

Zuko chuckles, the curl of his lips framing a hazy sadness in his eyes. 

“Azula did stuff like that all the time,” he sighs. “I always felt… bad. Our mother knew what she was when she was really young. I was the one who got all her kindness. Sometimes… I think it's my fault Azula ended up the way she did.” 

“It isn't,” you assure him. You tuck your hand into his. “Your parents played favorites. It wasn't fair.”

Zuko hums absently, his gaze drawn out across the courtyard. After a moment, he’s pulled back to you, a playful grin tugging at his mouth.

“You remind me of a turtle duck,” he states. “You look harmless. You're cute. But you could really fuck someone up if they provoked you.” 

You laugh, slipping your hand from his to teasingly shove his shoulder; the turtle ducks around you scatter as he mirrors your reaction, doing little to defend himself against your loving attack. 

“Did you just call me ‘cute’?” you tease, reaching to pinch at his cheek - he grimaces, taking your hand away from his face by recapturing it in his. “Are you going soft on me, Hothead?” 

He chuckles, mirthfully flicking an apple peel into your hair. You notice the blush that colors his neck, unable to deny your own.

“Oh, Turtleduck,” he says with mock pity. “Is Sokka so bad at flirting that you never learned to pick up on it?” 

He's used his new pet name for you almost every day since he coined it; every time he does, your heart soars out of your throat and into the clouds. 

Through your bedroom window, you can see Zuko on the porch behind your chambers, leaned casually against the railing as he chats with Aang. 

Aang says something that makes the older man laugh; your innards seem to melt as the lines around the corners of Zuko’s eyes and lips wrinkle like folds in a bedsheet. Something in the scene riles you - you’ll slit a hundred men’s throats to protect that smile and the feeling it gives you. 

“This is about Azula,” Rina observes. 

One thing you've learned in your short time with her is that you can't keep secrets from her - chances are she already knows all of them. 

“I just want to know what her living situation is like,” you tell her, “how powerful she could actually be from inside a prison cell.” 

“You have a merciful husband,” Rina sighs, somewhat dreamily . “Azula doesn't live in a prison; he put her in a compound in the Si Wong desert. She's heavily guarded and follows strict schedules and rules, but he didn't want her to live the rest of her life in a cage.” 

“What about Ozai?” you ask. 

“He’s in a prison. I said your husband was merciful, not that he doesn't hold a grudge.” 

You smirk, momentarily eased from the worry that strains your mind. 

“Do either of them have access to the outside world?” you press. 

Rina shakes her head. 

“Azula has very little; the last she heard of anything outside the compound was your marriage announcement. Ozai has absolutely none. All the guards that keep both of them are from the unoccupied Earth Kingdom, so they have no allegiance to them, and only a select few guards are allowed to speak to Azula.” 

“So… there's no way they could be the masterminds of any of this?” 

Rina lifts her gaze from the sash she cinches at your waist, her dark, round eyes meeting yours; her expression is blank, but she speaks in a determined hush. 

“I can't say for certain. But Azula’s intelligence is violent and cunning; she sees things from a different perspective that isn't entirely human. She has insights that more empathetic people would never consider.” 

You nod slowly, understanding. 

“I'll talk to Aang.”

Katara arrives from the Southern Tribe a few hours before the banquet you're hosting in Aang’s honor is scheduled to begin. You accompany her husband and yours to the imperial docks, a massive grin breaking across your cheeks the moment you spot her on the ship’s deck; she sends you a large, sweeping wave, catching you in her arms as soon as she's close enough to do so. 

“I'm so glad you're okay,” she cries into your ear. “How do you feel?” 

You nod, holding her by the waist as she pulls away. Her grip doesn't loosen, her arms still coiled around yours in an affectionate embrace. 

“I'm good,” you assure her. “I'm tough.” 

She smiles, pulling you in to kiss your cheek before turning to Zuko, greeting him with a warm hug. When she reaches Aang, her gestures are much slower, more tender. He takes her chin between two fingers and kisses her gently, his other hand positioned low on her waist as it presses her tightly against him; the action is so out of character for the two - typically so lively and averse to such kinds of public affection - that you and Zuko share an instinctive, curious glance. 

“Did we forget their anniversary or something?” you whisper, fear jolting through you when a look of panic crosses his features. 

“... I don't think so,” he says after a pause. “Maybe… he just missed her?” 

The confusion on his face is endearing - he's more emotionally intelligent than most people, but he's the last person who knows it. 

“Could be,” you agree. “This is the longest they've been apart in years.” 

The two of you watch as Aang assists Katara into Appa’s saddle, another strange behavior considering how used to flying Katara is. Neither of them seem to notice your staring, Aang leaning in for another lingering kiss before taking his place at the reins.

You return to the palace and are met with commotion, servants and high-level diplomats scrambling this way and that in a flustered frenzy. Everyone immediately alerts, prepared for yet another catastrophe. 

“What's going on?” Zuko demands as Rina approaches you; she doesn't hide her sneer at his brash tone, and you smirk as he apologetically shrinks back. 

“You have visitors, come to give their congratulations for your marriage,” Rina explains. 

“Who?” Zuko wonders. 

“Sun Warriors. They're waiting for you in the throne room.” 

Zuko and Aang exchange a look of shock. As you're ushered through the halls of the administrative wing and into the throne room, you take Aang by the arm, pulling him close so you can whisper to him. 

“Who are the Sun Warriors?” you ask. 

“They were the first fire benders,” Aang tells you. “They were supposedly wiped out, but Zuko and I met them when we visited their island at the beginning of my fire bending training. Their existence is supposed to be a secret.” 

“Then why would they come here?” 

“Your guess is as good as mine.” 

The throne room is silent - empty save for your entourage and guests - but a constant, electric buzz seems to hang in the air. Zuko falls into step beside you, taking your arm in his as you approach the group of visitors gathered before the throne; their clothing suggests Fire Nation, but from a different world, ancient to the point of almost primal. Each person present is decorated in baroque jewelry, glimmering gold and laced with vibrantly colored beads placed in intricate, deliberate patterns. Their faces are painted in stark lines of red and white, some across their noses and cheeks and under their eyes, others over their chins and foreheads; the makeup is so similar to Water Tribe markings that your eyes widen, unable to stop yourself from leaning in as you attempt to get a better look while also remaining dignified. The warriors are also much more robust than their mainland counterparts, with stocky builds and robust features - they remind you of your own people, leaving you in awe. 

“Chief Sunan,” Zuko addresses the leader of the group, bowing low as he speaks; you follow suit, leveling your gaze with the floor. “To what do we owe the honor of your visit?” 

The chief smiles faintly, warmly at the two of you, bowing in return. 

“We are not so cut off from the outside world that we have not heard of your marriage,” he says. “News has traveled to us of the strength of your union, and the tenacity of your bride. As Firelord, you have protected us, and made strides to restore the ancient ways of the element - we have come to give you our thanks, and offer our blessings to the both of you.” 

Chief Sunan steps aside then, making way for a man and woman carrying a basket between them; they lower it at your feet, bowing as they step back to rejoin their people. 

“A gift,” the chief proclaims. His muted grin morphs into something more knowing, almost mirthful as he watches Zuko approach the offering. 

You rest a supportive hand on Zuko’s back as he leans forward, lifting the lid of the basket to reveal its contents; he raises a bundle of blankets from the vessel, his eyes growing wide as he peels the fabric back. 

Inside the package is a dragon, just small enough to be cradled in his arms. Its scales are a gorgeous crimson, glinting and shifting between hues of gold and turquoise in the light cast from Zuko’s bended fire that surrounds his empty throne. The little beast peers up at its new parent with amber eyes that mirror your husband’s. Zuko lets out an astonished breath, raising his gaze to meet Chief Sunan’s. 

“I can’t accept this,” he states, so quietly that only you and the chief can make out the words. 

“You must,” Chief Sunan counters, his smile never faltering. “The masters insisted.” 

Under your palm, you feel Zuko’s body tense. He nods, cautiously settling the tiny dragon into your arms; you hold the bundle tightly, reaching in to stroke gently at the baby’s nose. It purs appreciatively, and your heart swells. 

Zuko bows, lowering himself to the floor in the ultimate display of respect. 

“Thank you,” he says. “I vow to protect him with my life.” 

When he once again stands, he looks to Rina. 

“Accommodate them however they need,” he commands. “Send a group of our Kyoshi Warriors to the island to guard it from outsiders.” 

Rina nods, scurrying off immediately to delegate the tasks. Chief Sunan then approaches you, resting a hand on your shoulder; you meet his eyes with slight fear, but find only kindness looking back at you. 

“We are grateful our bloodlines will merge once again,” he tells you. “The origin of our people is a history that has been lost to time, long before the war was even a speck on the horizon. You see, the Sun Warriors are descendents of migrant peoples from the earliest ancestors of the Southern Water Tribe as well as the Fire Nation - what our mothers and fathers knew of water bending shaped our understanding of fire. Your union brings our people together once again, as they should be.” 

Zuko wraps an arm around your waist, proudly pulling you against his side. You draw in a shaky breath, leaning into him as you nod, tears pooling along the lines of your lower eyelids. 

“It’s an honor to finally meet you,” you say. “I’ll do everything to make sure we regain our lost history. I promise.” 

Chief Sunan smiles temperately and nods, his fingers contracting around your shoulder in an appreciative grasp. 

“Thank you,” he whispers. “We are proud to call you our queen.” 

You invite the Warriors to stay for the night, Aang eagerly informing them of the banquet you have planned; by the time your reception of the unexpected visitors is finished, there's little more than an hour before it begins. 

Zuko brings your new ward back to your quarters, keeping him tucked protectively under his arms until you shut the sitting room door securely behind you. He then unravels the blankets the little creature is wrapped in, allowing him to explore his new home. 

“I thought dragons were extinct,” you marvel, watching as the fabled reptile twists and turns his body around every piece of furniture he encounters, inspecting everything he sees with humanlike interest. You smile, endeared by his wonder. 

“There are two still living,” Zuko explains. He kneels down beside the dragon, offering him a bit of a rice cracker from the box you keep in a side table for your nightly tea. “Three, now, I guess. The other two are the fire bending masters Aang and I had to seek approval from after I joined their team. Honestly, I thought they were both males.” 

“You must have made a good impression for them to trust you with their kid,” you remark, stifling a bit of laughter at his confession. “Maybe this’ll get Yong to stop bugging us about getting me knocked up.” 

Zuko chuckles, glancing up at you with an impish grin; the suggestive expression makes you blush, and you try to not admit to yourself that the excitement it sparks isn't unwelcome. 

The baby dragon lets out a mewling growl as he wraps himself around Zuko’s shoulders. He blows a minuscule jet of flame into the Firelord’s face, which Zuko mimics. You feel like squealing. 

“What should we call him?” you ask, lowering yourself onto the floor beside your husband. You hold a finger out to the dragon, which he curiously takes into one of his clawed hands. 

“Druk,” Zuko answers. “He looks like a Druk, doesn’t he?” 

You nod, your cheeks pinkened by the smile that’s plastered itself across your face; Zuko’s eyes meet yours with the same joyed expression. He maneuvers himself closer to you, resting his hand atop yours in your lap. As his fingers curl around your palm, you become achingly aware of just how near to you he is, and in a way that’s no longer friendly - the tension is heavier now, strained under the weight of a giddy, fluttering mania that leaves you dizzy. You don’t have to wonder if he feels the same. 

“Guess we’re parents now,” Zuko jokes, his voice barely above a breath. 

You giggle, taking the chance of leaning in to brush your lips to his. Your skin hardly touches; you’re too nervous to dive in and taste him, and for a moment after you pull away, you fear you may have imagined the glancing kiss. The fire that flares across Zuko’s cheeks tells you you didn’t. 

“Yeah,” you smirk, speaking in a murmur. “Guess we are.” 

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[kdtheghostwriter]

The Dust Up in Jaku

You sure are!

Okay, housekeeping first. I don’t often go here. In fact, this is my first proper visit. I’m caught up with the manga entirely to be clear. I just don’t always go looking for feedback. This blog is miscellaneous, tailored mostly to my whims at the time, but it’s known primarily for its monthly posts on Shingeki no Kyojin. That series is ending soon. These posts have been for practice primarily. A way for me to keep my writing chops warm for other projects. They’ve been incredibly helpful in that regard. I’m not sure yet what I’ll do to supplement that practice after the series conclusion. I don’t see myself doing monthly meta posts anymore. I started doing One Punch Man write ups a couple years ago and doing the occasional meta for big plot developments is probably the ticket. But then there’s BNHA.

My Hero Academia is a bit more…shall we say ‘aggressive’ in its storytelling. That’s what I’ve seen in this latest arc anyway. I’m a fan. And I figured, hey, I can dip a pinky toe in the fandom for a bit. So, before reading any further, please note that this will read as the perspective of a reader that has one eye on the story and doesn’t spend a great amount of time in the discourse.

Okay so let’s start with the obvious or what should be the obvious. Bakugo isn’t dead just yet. If for no other reason than Gran Torino getting spiked by Shigaraki only to supply a sassy quip moments later. You don’t die in a shonen series without permission. Besides that, though, no one I’ve seen seems to be asking the important question here.

What is All For One’s idea?

We saw him reach out to Tomura who was himself on the verge of death and took full control of his body. Those telltale black tendrils have seldom caused bodily harm on their own and there’s little evidence to believe they’d start now. We then can make one of two assumptions.

Quirk theft: AFO has the ability to steal and redistribute quirks and Shigaraki made clear that stealing One For All was his main goal in this fight outside of surviving. Bakugo is one of the few people who know about this secret war and he more than anyone there would recognize that losing OFA to Tomura would be in the nicest terms a disaster.

Forced Quirk Activation: Considering that Kacchan is a walking napalm bomb, this is another possible disaster. Using a massive explosion to escape the battlefield at this moment has some very “I’ll get you next time, Gadget!” energy.

And Tomura has to escape this. I’ll explain that later. But first I must laugh.

No, that’s not Garou after his first hour in the Monster Association. Tomura has been annihilated over the course of this fight. He’d probably be dead two or three times over if it weren’t for his fancy Deadpool Healing Factor which itself wouldn’t be working if Eraser Head wasn’t out of commission.

Shout-outs to Aizawa by the way. There’s a reason Tomura stopped in the middle of the battle to tell him how cool he was.

Anyway, more to the point: Shigaraki can’t beef it here. Don’t get me wrong, as tragic as his story is, there really is no other option currently than to destroy him. The only other course of action is to say, “Please, Tomura, don’t make this entire city and the innocent people living there disappear into dust.” Which…yea. On top of that, he’s the series antagonist and the clear foil for our hero Deku. Narratively it just wouldn’t make sense to have him climb that mountain before he’s ready. And he’s still not ready. His arms are thrashed yet again from his current onslaught.

For anyone having trouble visualizing this, imagine Shiggy as a red rubber ball and Deku is a paddle, smacking him repeatedly. I have this great picture in my head of the news chopper zoomed in on Deku as he calls out every state and major city in the contiguous United States. Jokes aside, the art is phenomenal. This panel in particular really hammers home the aforementioned duality like so many haymakers to the face. The damage is stacking up faster than his regeneration can supply but All For One has stepped in to take the reins, surely saving his neck but that isn’t the only reason Shiggy will see his way out of this spot.

Yeah! Remember him? This big fucker is still on his way. And he’s got the League of Villains in tow. Why is that detail important?

The only thing more important than a major plot event like this is the aftermath. You can easily develop your characters through the way they react to the events that occur to them. Somebody has to break it to Tomura that Twice is gone and I don’t envy the one who gets that job.

Also…lol okay, I don’t wanna do the trolly thing of “oooh Dabi’s a Todoroki!” but c’mon man Dabi’s a Todoroki. I’ve barely paid attention to this subplot and even I know that. Shonen series are by their nature very melodramatic and it would only make sense for such a massive bombshell to be dropped now, in the midst of life-or-death struggle, with direct implications for the Number One Hero and his children – one on each side of the law. Point is! None of that can happen if Shigaraki bites the big one so I’d expect the dusty lad to keep kicking for now.

The same goes for Bakugo, although, he may have early retirement in his future. The main reason Kacchan can’t die here is because, despite what you may think of him as a character – and I’ve seen enough discourse to know that many many people are not fans, such is your right – having a teenaged bully redeem himself by sacrificing his life is a bit much. Especially when you consider this little nugget.

All Might has him pegged here. I would never endorse someone telling another person to kill themselves even when done ironically but Katsuki was a child and children say any manner of dumb, reckless things. More than that, children lash out when they’re scared, and nothing scared him more than being surpassed by Midoriya. All Might goes on to point out that Bakugo earnestly helping with Izuku’s training is his way of atoning for his past behavior. I agree with that stance and I think it’s more than enough. He knows he was wrong and more recently he’s discovered that he knows he wants no harm to come to Deku. Bakugo learned a big lesson in this chapter; by extension, Deku must learn a lesson as well.

Then there’s this geek.

Disclaimer: I don’t hate Endeavor so much as I’m apathetic towards him. He’s the Number One hero by default and it shows throughout this arc. Even here, we see the rookie Kacchan barking orders at him and Shoto and coming up with a pretty solid plan to finally end this damn fight. It didn’t work, but that has more to do with outside interference than inexperience, and it’s not like Endeavor was rapt with ideas to begin with.

I will defend him slightly, however. Some people have gone so far as to call him useless in this fight and I wouldn’t. Shigaraki got a massive buff even if he’s only at 75% capacity. Enhanced speed and strength, plus a healing factor means he has a threshold that Endeavor just can’t overcome. The days of one guy taking on the Final Boss is long past gone. Even so, this must be pretty mortifying for a guy so obsessed with climbing the ladder. His second real test as the top hero and he gets his ass kicked for an hour or more by a shaggy kid who forgot his lip balm at home. LOL is what I’m saying.

Thanks for indulging that aside. Back to Deku. The very first panel of this chapter is a nurse warning him that repeated injuries could result in him losing the use of his arms. Naturally, this follows with Deku smashing Shigaraki in the face five or six times in a row. The combination of Float and Black Whip is keeping the villain suspended in the air where his disintegration    quirk can’t reach the support team below. A fact that Deku points out when Bakugo shouts at him to disengage. This is a great bit of dramatic tension, because neither one is wrong. Izuku’s body is falling apart. I mean, Tomura’s is too, but Tomura can lowkey ignore that and if he reaches the ground, everyone is screwed anyway.

This plays into Bakugo forming the plan with the Todorokis in the first place and then intercepting AFO’s attack on behalf of the helpless Deku. He sees One For All as a cursed power, but he’s smart enough to know that this power is the only chance they have of winning. He then saves his friend to help them win.

Now we come to the bit that has me more interested than even Kacchan’s fate. That being Izuku’s reaction, both in the moment and after the battle is done. As previously noted, Deku is not in less danger now. He’s emptying the tank right here despite possible long-term damage to his body.

The implications of that statement are terrifying. More so coming from a teenaged boy that hasn’t even made it through a third of his life yet. The legacy of OFA is dark and bloody. It was Bakugo who pointed out that the previous holders of the super strength quirk all died young – all murdered at the hands of Tall, Dark and Faceless. Toshinori would have suffered the same fate if it weren’t for a time sensitive cocktail of rage, survival instinct and adrenaline. Deku is sipping from that same cocktail right now and he’s in better shape than All Might was (barely) but it’s clear that he cannot 1v1 a boss with a replenishing health bar. Perhaps if he could sustain an attack without his limbs exploding like Squidward after too many Krabby Patties? Oh well.

My Hero Academia is an origin story. The story of the hero Deku and his journey to number one. With that in mind, we know he can’t lose but he doesn’t necessarily have to win. Not here at the very least. I have no clue how this arc resolves itself but finding out is going to be much fun.

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

Mind Control

the red marks the prompts that have been filled, and the white marks the prompts that have been requested.

@badthingshappenbingo​

Haha yes another bingo, I am Thriving

Prompt: mind control

Fandom: Ninjago

Character: Kai

Trigger Warnings: blood, knives, mind control

1818 words

Kai couldn’t feel anything. 

Well, that wasn’t quite true. He could feel, but only in the most distant sort of way. Like he was a hundred miles away from himself. 

His head was fuzzy.

“You’re going to serve me now, little ninja,” the snake hissed.

Yes, that sounded right. That sounded like exactly what he was supposed to do. It made sense. 

He felt so detached from himself and it was good and bad at the same time.

He vaguely heard himself respond. The words didn’t matter. All he needed to think about was whatever his master wanted him to do.

“You’re going to kill green ninja for me.”

Wait — no, not Lloyd, Lloyd didn’t deserve to die, he was so young, he was… he was his baby brother.

“No,” Kai whispered.

The snake grabbed him by the jaw, jerking his head up so he was forced to look into his eyes.

Just as soon as the clarity had come, he felt himself being dragged back down again. The fog returned, and his mind was cloudy once more.

“What was that?” The snake asked, glaring at him.

“Nothing. I’ll do it.”

From the deepest, quietest part of his mind, Kai was screaming.

———

“Where have you been, firecracker?” Cole asked, jogging over and joining his boyfriend as he walked inside.

Kai opened his mouth to answer, but found that he didn’t have one. Where had he been? It was bad that he couldn’t remember, right? Shouldn’t he have been more concerned about that? He felt like it was bad that he was so calm.

“Nowhere special,” Kai said, balling one of his hands into a tight fist and letting his nails dig into the palm of his hand. He needed to remember. He needed to at least be concerned that he didn’t. 

“Kai!” Lloyd said, running at the older boy and leaping into a hug. 

He was going to kill this child. He was going to make him beg for mercy, no doubt, but none would be given. He was going to kill him, just as he’d been ordered.

Kai shook his head. What had he just been thinking about again?

“You were gone for forever,” Lloyd whined, releasing Kai from his hold. “You promised to spar with me, remember?”

He had, hadn’t he?

“Sure thing, buddy,” Kai said, “Go stretch, I’ll be right out.”

“I hate stretching,” Lloyd muttered, but turned on his heel to go do so anyway.

Cole went off to the kitchen, presumably to finish off the cake Zane had made a few days ago. 

Kai slipped into the bedroom, relieved that nobody else was in there at the time.

Out of nowhere, he had a massive headache.

“Kill him,” a voice said, booming through his head.

“I can’t,” Kai said, frantically shaking his head. “I won’t!”

“You will.”

Kai covered his ears as a screeching pain rang through his skull. It was a thousand times worse than the headache he’d had just moments ago.

“Stop,” he whimpered, finding himself curled up on the floor. 

“Do not fail me.”

He wouldn’t. He would kill the green ninja, just as he’d been ordered. That was all he needed to do. It would probably even be laughably easy. He was just a stupid, naive, helpless little kid.

He stood up, nearly pulling the door off its hinges as he left the room.

“Whoa! What’s got you so… blah?” Jay asked, having jumped back when the door slammed so violently.

Kai glanced back at the door. “I… I was going to go train Lloyd. I… yeah.” His head was feeling fuzzy again. He knew he had just been in the bedroom, he was standing in the doorway for heaven’s sake. But… he couldn’t remember being in the room at all. 

He pushed past Jay, heading for the deck. He would figure out whatever was going on with himself later. He needed to kill train Lloyd, now.

“Alright kiddo, ready for some sparring?” Kai asked, leaning over into a side stretch.

Lloyd, bouncing with energy, nodded. “I’m ready!” He chirped.

Kai switched sides, bouncing a bit in his stretch before standing up fully.

“Alright, no powers, try to take me down without all that,” Kai said.

Lloyd nodded again, jumping into a fighting stance.

“Go!”

For the first few minutes, Kai would admit it, he was going a little easy. He knew he shouldn’t have been, since villains wouldn’t go easy and all that, but this wasn’t even proper scheduled training. He’d attack go harder on him kill him tomorrow.

Kai faltered, feeling much like his brain was about to explode. Lloyd took the opportunity to knock Kai to the ground.

Kai was literally seeing red.

He got up, then tackled the kid to the ground.

Lloyd let out an indignant squawk.

Kai glared down at him. He had a job to finish. It would be easy.

“Kai, what are you—what are you doing?” Lloyd asked, struggling against the arms that had him pinned down.

Kai gripped his knife tight — when had he grabbed that? Why was he doing this? He needed to stop!

“Kai!” Lloyd shouted, “stop!”

Kai covered the kid’s mouth — because that’s all he was, he didn’t care for him, he wasn’t his baby brother, he was just a job, just a mission to complete — and stabbed the blade into his arm.

Why had he done that? He’d been aiming for the heart, how had he missed? 

He growled, ripping the blade out, which was met with a horrible muffled scream. Lloyd kicked and thrashed desperately, which only served to get blood all over both of them.

Lloyd bit Kai’s hand. 

Kai pulled his hand away with a short cry of pain. Lloyd squirmed out from under him, hopping up and decking Kai right in the face as he tried to drag him back down again.

As Kai reeled back in pain, Lloyd, gripping his bleeding arm, turned to run.

“Help!” Lloyd screamed.

Kai grabbed Lloyd’s ankle, and he was sent sprawling to the ground.

“Why are you doing this?” Lloyd asked, trembling with fear as Kai held the dagger over his heart. His hand was shaking.

“Please don’t,” he whispered, eyes squeezed shut as he seemingly accepted his inevitable fate. 

Kai had never been pushing himself forward and holding himself back all at the same time with this much energy before. He had to kill him — but he also really, really didn’t want to. He couldn’t.

Static filled his head. Kai’s mind went completely blank, and he couldn’t see whatever was in front of him. He couldn’t see anything. Was he supposed to be thinking? How could you think so much and so little all at once?

It was an eternity before Kai felt himself come back again. He was on the floor of the deck — how had he gotten here? Lloyd was lying on the floor beside him — why was he — why was he lying like that? Why was there was so much blood?

His fingers were sticky with it.

Slowly, like he was dreaming, Kai lowered his eyes to the dagger in his hand. He dropped it in horror.

It clattered to the ground; the loudest sound he’d ever heard.

His mind was suddenly far too clear.

“Lloyd,” Kai said, shooting forward and closer to his brother. “Lloyd!”

“Stop,” Lloyd whimpered, weakly trying to push himself away.

Kai’s heart could have shattered in his chest right then, if it hadn’t already when he’d realized what he’d done. He ripped his own shirt off, balling it up and pressing the fabric over the wound.

“Stay with me, greenie,” Kai begged, not even trying to hold back his sobs.

“What’s going on, we heard—” Zane cut off in horrified shock. He was at their side in an instant. The others were quick to follow.

“It’s my fault,” Kai cried, “It’s my fault, I did this!”

“Shut the fuck up, Kai!” Nya yelled, “losing your head won’t help Lloyd!” She turned to the others. “Cole, call an ambulance, now. Jay, land the bounty. Steadily.”

Jay and Cole hurriedly went about their tasks.

“It hurts,” Lloyd said, his voice too small, too frail.

“I know, I know, but you’re gonna be okay,” Zane said, even as Lloyd’s breathing quickened.

“Finish the job.”

No. No, he needed to save Lloyd, he needed to save him, he needed to protect him!

“NOW.”

“I’m sorry,” Kai breathed.

His mind went completely blank.

———

Lloyd woke up in a hospital room.

Cole was at his side, Jay and Nya slumped over and asleep against the wall. The room was blindingly white.

“What’s going on?” He mumbled, struggling to sit up.

“Hey, don’t sit up too fast,” Cole said, helping Lloyd and rearranging a few pillows so he could situate himself better.

“What happened?”

Cole sighed, glancing back at the sleeping forms of Nya and Jay. Zane and Kai weren’t in the room.

“You were dead for about a minute,” he finally said, shifting in the seat he’d pulled close to the bed. 

Lloyd stared down at his own hands in awe. He’d been dead. Because… Kai had attacked him.

“And… Kai?” He asked, scared to hear the answer.

“Some rotten snake hypnotized him,” Cole growled. “But he fought against it a lot better than I did,” he muttered. Lloyd hadn’t really been involved with the ninja at that time, but he remembered Cole had nearly killed everyone. He cringed.

“We think he’s okay, now. We snapped him out of it with the flute. But…”

“But?” Lloyd prompted, leaning a little closer to the earth ninja as his voice lowered.

Cole’s face kind of reminded Lloyd of a puppy. If that puppy had been kicked. Repeatedly.

“He hurt you really bad, Lloyd. He nearly killed you. He was trying to hold back, I could tell, but um… he also hurt himself. When you died, he freaked out. He was screaming that it was his fault, and he tried to…” Cole sighed very deeply, his distress growing. “I had to hold him down so the others could help you. The last thing we needed was two of us dead.”

Kai had tried to kill Lloyd. And then he’d tried to kill himself. Lloyd took a moment to process this. 

“I want to see him,” Lloyd said definitively.

“You’re going to have to wait a bit on that,” Zane said, entering the room. “He is recovering from his own injuries. Cole, he wishes to see you.”

Cole stood up, smiling sadly at Lloyd before he quietly left the room. Jay and Nya still didn’t stir.

“You’re strong, Lloyd,” Zane said, taking Cole’s seat. “You have already begun to recover. Kai is getting better already, too. I have no doubt you will both come out of this stronger than ever.”

“I hope you’re right,” Lloyd muttered.

[365days365movies]

March 4, 2021: Spirited Away (2001) (Part One)

Having not seen this already is one of my great shames.

Yeah, I should’ve seen this by now, right? I mean, this is the only foreign language and 2D-animated film to win the Oscar for Best Animated Film, considered by most to be the greatest animated movie of all time, and it was the highest grossing film in Japanese box office history, until something else came along this year.

I should also watch Demon Slayer at some point, huh? Well, anyway, yeah, this movie has been on my list for years, but I’d never gotten around to it...until today! Now that I’ve watched Kiki’s, finally, I can get to the almost universally considered Miyazaki’s best. Will I like it as much, though? Well, we’ll see, huh?

And I probably should have some big preamble here, right? I mean, most of my other recaps start with a few paragraphs worth of content, dotted with pictures in order to break up the text monotony; that’s my typical formula. But, uh...I dunno. I got nothin’. Mostly because I don’t know anything about this movie going in.

So, yeah, fuckit. Let’s just get started here, I’m pumped! Been pumped for years. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Chihiro (Daveigh Chase) and her parents have just moved from their home to a new pace, and Chihiro’s not super happy about it. I get it, Chihiro, we moved a lot as a kid. On the way there, they get lost, and end up entering a forest with shrines at the entrance. Chihiro’s dad is a...reckless-as-FUCK driver.

They finally end up at a building with an open doorway. Chihiro’s a bit creeped out by the whole thing, especially as there are shrines all over the place that make her uncomfortable. Chihiro’s folks go through the archway and enter an old decrepit train station.

They exit through another door, and see a vast green field, dotted with shrines and broken down buildings. Chihiro’s father believes that it’s an abandoned theme park, which seems...wrong. Chihiro stays behind for a second and hears the building moaning. Chihiro’s parents continue to make their way through the park, as they smell food, and find themselves hungry. 

But the park is still completely abandoned, with not one person in sight. And yet, somebody’s making food, and it’s fresh. So, they do what anybody in their position would do: they eat the SHIT out of it. Chihiro doesn’t, but her parents go ham on it. Seriously, they pig out on this shit. Frustrated, Chihiro walks away and continues to explore the park.

A giant ornamented pagoda-style bathhouse stands tall above the rest, seemingly new and running. This is where she encounters both the train and a small boy, around her age. He warns her to leave, and get back across the river near the entrance.

Chihiro runs away, and goes to get her parents, who are still pigging out.

Ah. Well. Chihiro doesn’t realize that these pigs are her parents, and runs away in fear. She stops by a full river, and sees a vast glittering city in the distance. Meanwhile, spirits gather in the formerly decrepit park. Chihiro, believing this to be a dream, tries to wake herself up. In her chanting, she ends up becoming somewhat invisible.

Meanwhile, a riverboat comes closer, carrying spirits whose bodies materialize as the touch the shore and enter the park. Chihiro runs away, scared and disappearing. Soon, the boy from before catches up to her. This is Haku (Jason Marsden), and he brings Chihiro food from this world, which she must eat or risk disappearing. Very mythological, I like it.

By this point, Chihiro has realized that the pigs were her parents, and asks Haku if she can see them. He says that he will eventually, but they must run away quickly, as a mysterious bird with the face of an old woman is hovering above, potentially looking for Chihiro.

Haku takes Chihiro to the bathhouse, and instructs her not to breathe, as the creatures around them will see her is she even slightly breathes. They cross the bridge, and Chihiro is almost spotted. Haku takes her into hiding, as the word of a human’s presence breaks out. Haku instructs her to make her way to the boiler room to find Kamaji, the Boiler Man, and insist on getting a job or risk being turned into an animal by the owner of the bathhouse, Yubaba.

Haku wishes her good luck by name, which she questions. He says that he’s known her since she was very small. My girlfriend begins laughing maniacally, which probably means nothing. Chihiro, still quite afraid, makes her way to the boiler room.

There, we meet Kamaji (David Ogden Stiers), a multi-armed man that runs the boiler for the bathhouse, and commands dozens of spider-like soot spirits to do his bidding. This dude is a cross between Eggman and Doctor Octopus, and I love him. The soot ball spirits, too, while we’re at it. I recognize these guys from My Neighbor Totoro! Or their relatives, anyway. They’re cute, no matter what.

Chihiro saves one from being crushed, and is told to “finish what she’s started”. She carries the rock, which is seemingly super-fucking-heavy, and throws it into the boiler. Once she does this, all of the soot balls begin dropping the rocks onto themselves to get Chihiro to do it for them. I love them.

Kamaji tries to stop Chihiro from working, which is when his granddaughter, Lin (Susan Egan), shows up with lunch for Kamaji and the soot balls, and sees Chihiro. She notes that his is big trouble, but Kamaji tells her to take Chihiro to the owner, Yubaba, to properly inquire for a job with his recommendation. Reluctantly, she takes her to the top floor of the bathhouse via elevator.

We see the various spirits in the bathhouse, which is a great time to note the fact that this movie looks fucking FANTASTIC, and the art direction already gets a 10/10 from me, without any argument. This would be even better if I were fully beefed-up on my knowledge of the various Japanese spirits. 

On the way up, a Radish Spirit (Jack Angel) follows them to another elevator, and Chihiro ends up stuck with him in an elevator going up. He helps her get to the top floor, where Yubaba’s quarters are. And it’s here that we finally meet Yubaba (Suzanne Pleshette), a powerful spirit in her own right.

Yubaba is definitely not warmed to the presence of a human here, as humans have long abused the world that the spirits reside in. This includes her parents, who ate the food of the spirits like, well...pigs. She zips Chihiro’s mouth shut as she rants, but once she unzips it again, she repeatedly asks her for a job.

Yubaba isn’t pleased with this, and lemme say, she’s fucking TERRIFYING. As she goes after Chihiro more directly, the assault is interrupted by Yubaba’s baby waking up, and Yubaba hastily accepts her offer to work for her. Chihiro signs her name away, and Yubaba quite literally takes it, giving her the name “Sen” in exchange.

She summons Haku, who takes her away and pretends not to know her. He also tells her not to talk to him as they go down to find her a job. Nobody’s willing to work with a human, and Haku eventually assigns her to work as Lin’s assistant. Chihiro doesn’t feel very good, and that’s not helped by the fact that Haku was rather mean to her in the elevator.

The morning comes, and the spirits each retire to their domains, with Yubaba using her cloak to turn into a bird-like creature and fly away. Which I totally love, by the way. Chihiro, however, has not slept, and has in fact been crying and shaking with fear the entire night. Haku finds her like this, and tells her to meet him at the bridge, where he’ll take her to her parents.

With a new pink outfit in tow (and shoes protected by the soot spirits), she takes off to the bridge to meet Haku. But also lingering on the bridge is a mysterious spirit whom I already know as No-Face (Bob Bergen). He’s a pretty recognizable character from the film. When she crosses the bridge, No-Face disappears, and Haku is waiting on the other side.

Haku takes her to the pigsty, where her parents are. They no longer remember their identity as humans, and astonishingly, Chihiro refers to herself as “Sen,” the name that Yubaba gave her. Yeah, she doesn’t remember her own name, until Haku gives her back her old clothes to hide. In them is a goodbye card from one of her friends, with her name written in it. Yubaba controls people by taking their names, which is some old-school mythology shit, boy!

Chihiro thanks him, and he gives her food to help her regain her strength. This causes her to sob while stuffing rice into her face, which the girlfriend has referred to as a big mood. Chihiro goes back, and sees that Haku (not his real name, as Yubaba has taken it) is flying away, as a white dragon.

From there, she goes to work cleaning the bathhouse with Lin and the other workers in her department. In the process, she also lets No-Face into the building. He later repays the favor by helping her get a needed wash token from the human-hating foreman. Yubaba, meanwhile, senses that something is coming, slinking about in the rain. She refers to it as useless scum, and it is indeed a big pile of scum, and an intruder to the bathhouse.

The other attendants of the bathhouse seem to think that it’s a stink spirit, although Yubaba isn’t sure. She commands Chihiro to attend to it, and it is...gross as SHIT. It apparently smells EXTREMELY bad, and this entire sequence is...viscerally gross. Dude is DISGUSTING.

However, through all of that shit (literally), Chihiro manages not only to attend to the spirit, but also finds some kind of thorn in his side Yubaba then realizes that something is wrong, and gets everyone else to help. They tie a rope to the object, and they pull it out together, with Chihiro at the head.

They pull it out, only to reveal a MASSIVE pile of human garbage. Once it’s all out, the spirit reveals itself to be not a stink spirit, but a polluted River Spirit (Jim Ward), who thanks Chihiro for her assistance. He pays the place a HELL of a lot of money, and Yubaba congratulates Chihiro directly for her good work.

THAT is a good place to pause! See you in Round Two!

[benevolentspidey]

“I’m Scared.”

Here is some mediocre TodoBaku angst for you on this fine day. I wrote this while watching the first Captain America movie at like 3AM and now my eyes are swimming. Enjoy!

Warning: Mentions of blood and heavy injury. Major Character Death. Some strong language.

It was their last trip as a class. Just a simple drive to one of the off-campus arenas to have some fun. They’d somehow, as a class, convinced Aizawa to let them have a day of friendly team battles, to let off some steam and release the stress of the last few weeks. After cramming for exams and getting everything ready for graduation that coming Saturday, they could use some time to be kids, one last time. And really, after everything they’d gone through the last few years, they all craved for a chance to feel like kids again.

And yet, as small of a request it was to have one normal day, the universe looked at them and denied their wishes. They should’ve known better, they shouldn’t have been naive enough to think that one day without incident was likely to happen, but they were hopeful and wishful and all thinking they deserved this one. Thing.

Katsuki and Todoroki were paired together to fight against Deku and Momo in their first round. The day itself had been set up as a bracketed elimination, lose one fight and you’re out, and Katsuki was more than ready to take home first place, especially with Todoroki by his side. It was exhilarating, fighting against the pair with Todoroki, he can’t deny that fact. 

After he’d finally worked through all the shit going on in his head, Katsuki had become more… approachable, easier to get on with. He was able to create steady and healthy friendships without it feeling like an attack on his strength, his character. And looking at Todoroki, he is more than thankful he sorted himself out. The growing friendship they started had kept him grounded more than once and the budding feelings both the pair shared showed Katsuki that Todoroki wasn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. Sure, they were both focused on their future careers as pro heroes, and sure, neither of them quite understood how to handle the emotions they felt growing between them, but they were happy with how things were now and more than happy to take things slow. Just as long as they were there, waiting for each other at the end of the day. As long as they were there for the other person to rely on when they needed them most.

And with all of this on his mind for the last couple of weeks, being paired with Todoroki and fighting alongside him only showed him even more how important it was to have, and keep, the beautiful, dual-colored hero in his life. And he had every intention of outing this to Todoroki himself, instead of keeping it in like the pair had done previously in their relationship. He was going to pull him aside and lay it all out on the table, bare and exposed for him to see. But then it happened.

Katsuki had managed to pin Deku to the ground, the pair of them laughing like idiots when they heard the rumbling of an explosion, the vibration reaching them in seconds. The pair looked at each other, knowing they were in for a fight. Katsuki pulled Deku to his feet, as they gave each other a nod before shooting off in the direction of the soon to be bloodied battleground, determination coursing through Katsuki’s veins. Determined to fight until the battle was won.

And fight he did. The chaos around Katsuki did not distract him in the slightest as he took down the villains in front of him, only noting, with relief, each time a streak of red and white came in view of his peripherals. It kept him only the slightest bit calmer as he continued to fight, losing track of time and ignoring the searing pain in his hands as he pushed himself to his limits. And just as the end was in sight, just as Katsuki took down the last villain with a triumphant smirk on his face, Deku overpowering Shigiraki in the background, he turned to find Todoroki and give him a wide smile.

He didn’t quite understand the sudden fear in the other's eyes until it was far too late. He followed Todoroki’s eyesight to the building behind him as it started to collapse around him before a body crashed into him and everything went black.

When he finally came to, there was dust and debris all around him, his leg crushed underneath a concrete pillar. He groaned at the pain, trying his best to move the debris off himself. He looked around him, the small pocket of space he was in not giving much light, but giving enough that he caught dirty mussed red and white hair. His heart sunk as his blood turned to ice.

“Todoroki, hey, wake up.” He began to frantically use all the energy and strength he had left in him to push the pillar off his leg. “Icyhot, I need you to wake up, I need you to let me know you’re okay.”

He yelled out in pain as the pillar finally gave way, freeing him to crawl towards the unconscious hero. The sound of coughing filled his ears, easing his panic ever so slightly.

“Bakugou?” Todoroki’s voice was hoarse and laced in pain.

“Hey, Icyhot, I’m coming towards you right now.” He made an effort to be quick with his movements, ignoring the searing pain in his leg. “Are you hurt in any massive way? Are you able to move? I need you to talk to me.”

Todoroki let out a choked cough, moaning something incoherent. Katsuki squeezed through the last hole between the pair of them, “Todoroki I need you to use your wo-”

He felt all the air leave his lungs.

“I’d say this is a pretty massive injury.” He locked eyes with a softly smiling Todoroki. Katsuki felt numb looking at the giant metal pole protruding out of his body from beneath his lungs, blood staining the fabric around it at a terrifying rate.

“This isn’t funny,” Katsuki whispered, hands shaking, his mind in a million different places on what he should do, what is the best option, how does he get them out of here?

“I know it’s not,” Todoroki said, the smile slipping.

“Don’t joke about this okay,” Katsuki’s hands were shaking, unsure of where to start.

“Bakugou,” the voice was quiet, almost like he was a child, but fuck, weren’t they just that? Children? Hadn’t they been children every time this happened, their innocence and joy ripped from their unrelenting grip every time this happened, them begging, pleading for it to stop before… before...

“I’m scared.” 

Katsuki locked eyes with him and saw how small, how young Todoroki looked, suddenly reminding him of the first time they’d met. Had it really only been three years since that first meeting? Had he not known him a lifetime by now?

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of here.”

How many times had he said that in a training exercise, how many times had he said that to children when they'd been practicing rescue plans. Every time he said it he was looking into unfamiliar eyes, eyes holding pretend fear. He never imagined saying those words to a pair of mismatched eyes he’d grown so fond of.

“I don’t think I’ll be making it out of this one, Katsuki,” Todoroki managed before coughing blood out onto his chest. Katsuki wiped it from his chin, fury filling him in an instant.

“Don’t say that dumbass, of course you’re going to make it out of here. What kind of hero would I be if I didn’t get you out of this? Are you seriously doubting my capabilities after everything we’ve been through?” Katsuki ignored the crack in his voice in favor of giving Todoroki a fierce look as he began to assess the damage and plan for the best course of action.

He stopped when a hand, an oh so painfully pale hand, stopped his movements. “We can’t save everyone.”

Katsuki’s eyes snapped up to meet Todoroki’s tired ones, hating how dull they looked. He knew, looking into Todoroki’s eyes, that he was right. There was too much blood, too much damage, too much hurt. He could feel it in his chest that he was the only one that was going to make it back home and that thought alone broke him.

He carefully grabbed hold of the hand bringing it to his lips and kissing it softly, as to not break the boy below him even more, not bothering to wipe the tears as they began flowing down his face.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to go, we’re supposed to graduate on Saturday. You and I are supposed to start at the same agency this summer. We were going to move in together,” He didn’t bother holding in the sobs, the pain of it all too much to be kept composed. He looked at the hero laying in front of him, his eyes struggling to stay open, his grip barely holding onto his own.

Katsuki leaned forward, pressing his lips to the bloody and dirty pale forehead. “You were supposed to give me more time to fall in love with you. I was somehow supposed to get you to love me back.”

An airy chuckle filled his ears, and he held onto it, wrapped himself in the pureness of it, imprinting it to his memory.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Katsuki,” Todoroki wheezed a big breath before continuing, pushing his head against Katsuki to get him to look at him, their eyes locking and catching his breath, Todoroki’s gaze far more intense and eyes alight than he had ever seen them. “I fell in love with you a long time ago, all on my own.”

The confession, unexpected, heartbreaking, and full of truth and fierce passion, hits Katsuki in his chest and knocks all the resolve he has left out of him. He surges forward, his lips crashing with Todoroki’s. The kiss itself was short and messy, their tears mixing together and smearing with blood, but it filled and shattered his heart, his soul, and tore him to shreds and he wouldn’t take it back for the world.

He pulled back, cupping Todoroki’s face in his shaking hand, looking at him fondly with tears in his eyes, “Took you long enough, Icyhot.”

Todoroki chuckled, his eyes drooping and breathing becoming more sparse, “Says… you.” He takes a deep breath, his lungs rattling, and in that same second, all the air rushes out of his lungs, the light leaving his eyes and face relaxing.

And just like that, Katsuki’s world shatters.

[gavillain]

Thoughts on the Loki tv show then?

Short version: I'm liking it! I fully expected to hate the show given that I hated almost everything they did with Loki in the MCU after Dark World. However, they're doing a pretty good job. I think overall, it's a mixed bag for me, but a mixed bag is so much better than I was expecting that I'm very happy with it. Episode 3 really was a big step up after the first two eps and I hope future episodes continue.

Now if you want the long version, I've been writing up my thoughts after each episode to share on a private forum, so I'll copy and paste under the cut. Also spoilers galore past this point:

Ep.1 "Glorious Purpose" Loki himself is the big important thing so I'm gonna talk about him first, and I was both happy and disappointed with his characterization here. Let me explain. Tom Hiddleston obviously plays everything perfectly, and he did a great job on every moment. But the writing on Loki's character is pretty inconsistent. There were a LOT of moments that genuinely felt like they were right out of the golden era of MCU Loki that captured his speech patterns perfectly, his mannerisms, his world view, his humor. Those moments were legitimately there, and they were there more often than I was expecting. Ragnarok had Loki written wrong down to the dialogue and his manner of speaking, and so it was actually very refreshing to see him written generally well, particularly in his conversations with Agent Mobius. However there were multiple moments where he was blatantly written out of character to pander to jokes or to dip into that Ragnarok jokey joke tone. I audibly groaned at the "Am I robot" bit, which was SUCH low brow human and so not in line with the fact that Loki literally knows exactly what he is and had a "species reveal" that was very important to his character. I also would have liked him to be a little more violent. This man came out of a portal, saw SHIELD agents threatening him and immediately went into kill mode in Avengers. Yet this guy stands around and lets himself be taken and forced into situations a lot. But overall, I was happy with his general characterization because I expected the bad stuff to be much worse and it wasn't and the good stuff was more plentiful than I expected. I wasn't fond of the "I don't enjoy hurting people" bit because it's weepy and wrong, but it also was an expected development and I do appreciate that they're at least delving deep into his character on an intellectual level and playing off that "Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself" line of Frigga's. There's potential to do something interesting with him here, so I'm intrigued if not convinced. The Time Keepers concept I hate, but I think I hate it because Loki ALSO hates it and we're a bit too alike in a few regards even here XD I just kind of wish it was less bureaucratic and "we're a joke about corporate offices" and was something more mystical and other worldly. I feel like if it was more science fantasy and ethereal feeling, I would probably be a lot more down for it. But I guess you gotta save money somehow. Agent Mobius is likable, and I like how he can go toe to toe with Loki and how he's kind of morally neutral. I called that Loki was the dangerous time variant disrupting the timeline before it was revealed, but I have to wonder why in the final scene they kept his face hidden. That would have been a great opportunity to show Hiddles hamming up the evil bloodlust, and I am HUNGRY for that. But they kept that Loki hidden in shadows for a reason, and I have two theories regarding why: 1. It actually ISN'T Loki and Agent Mobius is wrong and our villain is someone else. 2. Our villain is LADY Loki and they're saving the reveal that villain Loki is a woman for a later episode. We'll see if I'm right. I HOPE it's number 2 if they kept him in shadow for a reason. So yeah. Not exactly what I wanted but we're on the right track at least for now. I hope this track leads somewhere interesting.

Ep.2 "The Variant" So, first things first, this episode had "I Need a Hero" during a fight scene and TOTALLY botched it. It was way too early to play that card, the action didn't sync with the battle, and it was between a few nameless TVA agents and the evil Loki with the evil Loki still masked in shadow and not really doing much. It just lacked the OOMPH that I felt was necessary for it to be satisfying. This should have been done better. Loki characterization update: less good and less bad than episode one at the same time. There was no "Am I a robot?" cringe, but there was a lot less of the really good Loki dialogue that caught my attention in episode 1. His seemed to have kinda settled back to the mediocrity of Ragnarok Loki with occasional moments of intrigue such as his whole bit about a wolf's ears and teeth. Loki's obviously planning to overthrow the time keepers and to become the new master of time, and he even says as much to his alternate counterpart this episode. I have a sick feeling they're going to have him grow to like the TVA and to save the time stream, but I really want him to follow through with his plans because I think that's much more interesting than the alternative. Will they do it? Time will tell. I also like how much he utterly does not give a shit about Mobius's condolences about Ragnarok happening. That was a good touch. Speaking of Mobius, I still don't care for him or the TVA. They're all just very boring to me, and I don't like Loki being caged to follow their bidding. It's restraining a hurricane of excitement by forcing it to play within this very structured framework instead of burning through freely. With Loki escaping into the timestream to chase after the other Loki, hopefully that will change for the better next episode. Mobius himself gets his character expanded a bit, but his expansion is literally that he is just a cog who doesn't question his purpose and does what he does because it's what he's told to do. And that's just not compelling to me. Sidebar: Ravona, Kang the Conqueror's lover, is the head of the TVA. A fun tidbit but where's Kang? I like the way the episode explored how time variants can't happen during massive catastrophes and apocalypses because everyone dies and everything gets destroyed, so they're safe places for time variants to hide and interact with history. I enjoyed Loki and Mobius going back and messing with Pompeii right before Vesuvius erupts to test that theory. That was fun (though I wish Loki would have, instead of just acting silly and making a scene, would have done his "Kneel before me" bit on the Pompeiians or something more villainous). And I liked the whole aesthetic of them exploring a massive hurricane in Alabama in 2050 and the whole aesthetic going on there. It gave the episode an epic quality. The evil Loki was revealed in this episode, and the twist is that she's Lady Loki. Yeah, I called it. She hasn't done much herself yet and we haven't seen her do much except posses the bodies of various others and then break the timeline with multiple sprawling timeline variants, both of which is very cool. I'm excited for her, though my biggest complaint is that she has blonde hair. No. Lady Loki has BLACK hair. Why didn't they stick her in a black wig or have the actress dye her hair??? AMORA is the blonde Asgardian villainess. Lady Loki has the same hair color as Loki. And... look, I know it's a dumb detail to get hung up on, but the black hair matters to me because Loki has black hair and his beautiful female form does too and I always liked that for personal reasons. Also, she doesn't want to be called "Loki" apparently which is weird but okay, so what DOES she want to be called? I swear if they name her Amora or Sigyn, I'm gonna throw something.

But yeah, the next episode I think promises to be a change of pace, and we can see if Loki can truly spread his wings free of the TVA. I hope he does.

Ep.3 "Lamentis" This was the best episode yet! And for MULTIPLE reasons. This episode sees Loki and Lady Loki Sylvie stranded together in time. It was away from the TVA and it's boring qualities, which was great, and it put two very interesting characters in a situation where they had to rely on each other. This is more of what I was HOPING we'd get from the show. It's a lot more engaging and fun. The TVA always feel like they have their boot on our necks, and having that boot gone, it's amazing how much easier it is to breathe. And I honestly think that was intentional too with regards to how Sylvie outright calls them tyrannical fascist time police. The whole thing with Loki and Sylvie being stranded on the planet Lamentis during its apocalypse is super cool too. First of all, Lamentis is BEAUTIFULLY designed. I can tell they relied on desert locales to save on the budget, but the purple sky, the colorful train, and the neon alien city are all really pleasing to look at. And with the sky literally falling around them, it looks even cooler and the stakes feel cosmic and intense because they ARE. A very good setting that felt refreshing after the very mundane TVA headquarters and Earth scenes. Loki continues to be a sort of mixed bag with weird moments of humor that feel like they were written by someone else for another character, but those moments were a lot more sparse this time around too. Tom is still unmatched in the role, and I love the way he got to be serious, smug, manipulative, and sincere in this episode. I've kinda accepted and settled into anti-hero Loki for this series, and I'm honestly pretty okay with it here. See, I think my issues with Loki being "good" is that it comes with making amends with Thor or working for the TVA. Seeing him pursuing his own agenda on his own terms and collaborating with a kindred spirit who he seems to genuinely like is a lot easier to stomach because it feels a lot more true to the freedom that is so potent about his villainy. I loved him talking about Frigga and how she taught him her magic. That was a genuinely powerful moment. Also even though his dagger metaphor for love got kinda undercut by a joke, I think it was quite good writing and really cut to the point of what makes Loki tic. Also this episode marks a VERY important moment: Loki was canonized on screen as being bisexual in the MCU. He is the FIRST queer main character in the MCU and the first queer main protagonist of a Disney show. And I like the way they did it too! The way Sylvie asked about if he had any dalliances with princesses and then adds "or princes" and Loki says "a bit of both." It was simple and direct and unambiguous, and I love it because Loki has always BEEN queer in the MCU and the writing for him has been very queercoded. Even if that little moment is all it amounts to, it really matters and means a lot to me that they did it and I'm so happy for it. I hope they give him a boyfriend though. Like PLEEEEASE Marvel. Sylvie I'm more okay with this time around. She IS established as Sylvie and not really identifying as Loki anymore, so I can separate her from my preconception of Lady Loki and not mind the BLONDE so much. Sylvie is the name of the second Enchantress in the comics, an Enchantress that Loki himself created. I'm interested to see where they go with her backstory and who she is and what her deal is because they've been implying that she differs from the main Loki quite a lot to the point where she barely even remembers who Frigga was. I also like that Loki's response to the bisexual question implies that Sylvie is bi too. Get that MLM/WLW solidarity. I hope they don't ship them, but I hope they DO stay friends and allies because I'm loving their friendship chemistry. Also, a minor thing in the grand scheme of this episode, but Loki SINGS in this one! And I love it! Tom's always had a very pretty voice that he's gotten to show off in other roles so I'm glad he got to show off his singing in this role too. The Norse folk song he sings was both jovial and somber all at once, and I

loved it. We deserved this Minor nitpick: please give Loki his Asgardian clothes back or something. Because this TVA suit is fucking ugly and I hate it. Sylvie looks so good next to him, and he deserves to be just as stylish. This was a GREAT turning point. PLEEEEEASE keep it up. F&WS failed to. But I genuinely believe that Loki can do it.

[drifting-mindspace]

Things we deserved to get from the Naruto manga and anime that we never got -

• JONIN NARUTO -

We followed him around as the lovable Genin knucklehead. Now it goes without saying that him being a Jonin is just a rank and honestly doesnt mean much. Rescuing Gaara, going after Kakuzo, Mount Miyaboku were all A & S-rank missions.

But I would liked to have seen him doing missions post war in a slightly more mature yet typically knuckleheaded manner instead of the passing phrase he made tonShikamaru about being too busy doing missions for the next 6 months.

We grew up with Naruto and now that he's older and stronger we dont get to see him in action.

• A Happily Married Kakashi & Shizune- 

Hatake Kakashi has led a deeply traumatic life. His mother died when he was very young, his father committed suicide when he was 6 causing him to distance himself from everyone around him. The first person he opened up to and formed a bond with died moments later protecting him, the girl he deeply cared for and probably harbored feelings for which he was too afraid to confront died at his hands as he desperately tried to protect her, a year later his sensei died protecting the village. When he became a sensei to Team 7 he felt he was on a path to finding inner peace by ensuring these children avoid his traumas but his prized pupil went rogue shattering that hope. After all this I’d hoped he would’ve finally found a happy ending.

Why Shizune? Well I considered him and Kurenai getting together and him helping raise Mirai but Shizune has always felt like the only Kunoichi in Konoha who has her shit together. She is perfectly at peace with where she is in life. She is incredibly mature and level headed as she helps run the village with Tsunade. Someone who is at peace with herself and her aspirations is the perfect anchor for a man with a whirpool of trauma brewing in him.

Alas it seems like the showrunners have no intention of a romantic arc for Kakashi and the Hatake name will die with Kakashi.

• The Uzumaki Clan

Within a span of 3 months Naruto meets 3 Uzumaki clan members. Nagato, Karin and his own mother. While speaking with Kushina he finds out about the dark fate of the Uzumaki clan. How they were blessed with unimaginably high chakra reserves and were gifted in Sealing Jutsus, longevity and how it led to them being targeted by those who feared them leading to their village being wiped out and scattered across the shinobi world.

Instead of turning the Naruto saga into the Uchiha Chronicles Id have preferred a deep dive into the Uzumaki clan. Maybe even have a Sasuke-like venegeful figure who wants Konoha to suffer because they failed to provide aid to the village they called their strong allies in their greatest hour of need.

Like Sasuke this villain would’ve witnessed his fellow clansmen cut down, unlike Sasuke however he wouldn’t have had the likes of Naruto, Itachi or Kakashi to anchor him in the light leaving room for redemption.

This could have been the one villain that was so far gone in his pain and hatred that no amount of 'talk no jutsu' could have changed his mind and would've pushed Naruto to the very brink until he finally had to choose between killing his clansman or protecting his village.

Naruto would make the ultimate sacrifice for Konoha and this would all the more set his resolve to pulling Sasuke back from the darkness or dying with him.

An Uzumaki villain gifted in Fuijutsu and the use of the Uzumaki Kekkei Genkai, the Adamantine Chains along with massive chakra reserves would be the perfect power scaled villain for Post Pain Arc Naruto.

Instead we got Uchiha chronicles where everyone did whatever the fuck they thought of doing and chakra limits were all but history. This one really disappointed me. Which brings me to my next disappointment.

• Naruto Killing a Villain

Now I know it seems like an odd hang up. Naruto? Kill? But he is so fixated on redemption. That is exactly why I wanted this to happen. The series has gone out of its way to make sure Naruto hasn’t killed a character. The worst of it was against Kakuzu. The kind of attack unleashed upon Kakuzu SHOULD by all means have killed him. Yet somehow he was left in a ‘dying state’ and Kakashi was the one who did the deed. 

Naruto being forced to kill a villain as a last resort and making a choice between saving someone dear to him or tainting his hands with blood was the ultimate moral conundrum for a shinobi whose biggest goal was rescuing his best friend from the dark. It would take him back to Itachi’s words where he asked Naruto what he would if Sasuke decided to destroy the village.

Instead we saw Rasen Shuriken and Rasengan getting scaled down to a point where they always injure and opponent but not kill him. For an S-rank jutsu, Rasen Shuriken happens to be quite lenient.

• Neji beoming the head of the Hyuuga Clan

This pisses me off the most. Neji was supposed to be to the Hyuuga was Naruto was to Konoha. I always expected Neji to overcome all the obstacles and get recognized by Hiashin who would then redeem himself and disband the branch system once and for all. Hiashin as a character was never redeemed. Here was a man who let his brother get executed to avoid punishment (albeit he was against it but it did happen), constantly abused his kind daughter and belittled her for being too soft and put her down to a point her personality was underdeveloped and she had deep seethed confidence issues.

Disbanding the branch system and making Neji the leader would redeem him in the eyes of the readers/ viewers and would clean up the Hyuuga clan.

Instead Neji was scrapped aside to give Naruto and Hinata a bonding moment. They had a bonding moment, it was when she almost died saving his life. Neji didn’t have to die for them to get together ffs. What a wasted potential.

• NaruSaku

Now I’m not a fanatic shipper. In fact when I read and watched the original series I absolutely HATED Sakura. My hatred for her reached it’s peak during the Zabuza arc when Naruto ran at the S-rank villain, got kicked away and got up to show he went in for his forehead protector. “What do you think you’re doing Naruto? Even Sasuke-kun wasn’t a match for him.” I just wanted Naruto to turn around and tell her to stfu in that moment. As the series approached the time skip I was well and truly content with NaruHina.

But Shippuden changed things. The hints towards Sakura’s changed feelings were sprinkled all over the series. One moment that stands out for me was the Clone Training arc where Sai tests her by abusing Naruto and she goes on a rage rant about how great he is. Let’s not forget that in her darkest hour, as she saw a ruined and destroyed village the only person she thought of and cried out to was Naruto. Not because she felt he could save the village (she was as shocked as Shikamaru as she found out he was facing pain alone) but because when things when bad for her the only person who she felt comfort around was indeed Naruto and that is indisputable.

She goes as far as ruining her friendship with Naruto, a bond she truly cherished as it was all she had left after Sasuke abandoned the village, and confessed her feelings to manipulate him. Yes manipulative, scheming and downright a bitch of a thing to do. But it was all she could think of to make Naruto stop chasing after Sasuke. She, more than anyone wanted to see Naruto become a Hokage and realize his dreams and dying while rescuing Sasuke was a risk she couldn’t take and she decided she’d have him hate her than die. Wrong yes. But oddly noble.

This combined with all the blatant attempts to establish her being like Kushina and Kushina saying she wants Naruto to find someone like her changed my mind from NaruHina. I still adore Hinata. She is a wonderful character. But organic plot progression is far more important to me than my ships being canon.

A Naruto-Sakura family would’ve been incredibly entertaining and the dynamics would be perfect. We’d see a Minato-Kushina couple on screen for the next series. Which brings me to my next disappointment.

•HinaShino

I don’t know if that’s the official name for the pairing but I always felt these 2 would make a great couple.They are both people of a few words and are both incredibly intuitive and understanding individuals. Shino would accept Hinata for who she was and vice versa. Being with someone who was happy with the person they were would go miles in helping them come out of their shells.

Altho this isn’t a massive disappointment for me. I’m happy that Hinata ended up with Naruto. But like I said organic plot progression matters to me and if Naruto ended up with Sakura I’d prefer Hinata to end up with Shino.

•Hiraishin No Jutsu

Sadly as the series progressed Naruto had become so OP that not letting him master his father’s improved version of Tobirama’s jutsu was a great decision. It would’ve just made him senselessly OP. 

However instead of giving him all those God Tier power ups which he just gains in single training sessions I’d have preferred him working hard to master the Hirashin. Instead of sending him off to an island and treating him like a fucking idiot and asking him to survey animals I’d have preferred if Tsunade gave him an impossible task.

“You can’t fight in the battle. But I will only allow it if you can master your father’s jutsu.”

It was a period of 6 months between Danzo’s death and the start of the shinobi war. Ample time to show him training hard to learn a jutsu that for once required him to study. Hiraishin deals not just in physical acts of speed but also mastering seals.  Seeing his friends go off to fight in the war as he was left behind would have only added to his frustration and motivated him more.

Showing Naruto training hard like they showed him training for Rasen Shuriken would’ve only made us cheer all the more harder when he’d make a badass entry on the battle field as Tobi came close to killing Kakashi and a three pronged Kunai swished between the two, an orange flash appeared and Naruto kicked Tobi away.

Sadly this was swapped for Pokemon evolutions where arc after arc Naruto levels up just like that. The show’s entire premise was based on hard work and guts.

Sasuke was the genius who gained his power through natural ability. Sure he trained hard but his strength came to him with ease. Naruto had to slog. He manged to make the Rasengan after nearly 15 episodes of training and even then he had to get stabbed to be able to use it. It wasn’t until another 10 episodes that he properly used it. His training for the Rasenshuriken took an entire season to yield results and even then he didn’t learn to throw it until he trained for another 3 seasons till the Pain arc.

Post pain all this is tossed aside. He sits at the waterfall twice and beats the darkness. He sits in the room once and tames Kurama. Later Kakashi and Guy are in trouble, he has an inner dialogue with Kurama and suddenly he mastered the two man team with no prior training. Rikkodu Sennin touches him once and suddenly he’s learnt how to grow eyes, stop death and fly just like that.

The series stopped being the Naruto series we grew up with post Danzo and it saddens me.

• Naruto Sensei - 

And finally my last and greatest disappointment of all. Not seeing Naruto as a sensei. We’ve seen glimpses of his nurturing side in his interactions with Konohamaru but I’d have loved to have seen 40-50 episodes of him leading his own squad of genins. A perfect combination of Kakashi and Guy as he’d wow them with his brilliance and equally embarrass them in day to day interactions with his goofy tomfoolery. His genins would be in awe of him. Naruto Sensei - the hero of the war. 

His students could have an arrogant son/daughter of a feudal lord who insisted he be trained by the war hero, Naruto and Kakashi had to cave in for diplomatic reasons. Naruto refuses to take anyone who doesn’t work hard to get where they are but after the bell test sees potential in the child. A child with no ninja background. His parents were farmers outside of Konoha who were very poor. His sole aim is to be a ninja so strong that he’s always assigned big missions that will help him ease his family’s financial burdens. A genin from the Inuzuka clan (or any other clan, maybe even Hanabi if the show wanted to push more Naruto-Hinata interactions) who thinks he’s better than the other 2 because of his family background but is taught humility by Naruto.

Sadly another development in Naruto’s life we were denied.

Well that’s my rant essay. I know a lot of people won’t agree with what I had to say but I wanted to get it off my best anyway. Why? 

Because I wanted to dattebayo!

[aquagenesis]

i cant stop talking about seifer.

like i just don’t understand, in everything it’s emphasized that seifer is the parallel to squall.  the game opens up and everyone and their mother is telling squall he doesn’t care, he’s cold, he’s abrasive.  zell and selphie specifically comment on how rude he is; when he goes after rinoa following their inability to get into the broadcast station one of them tells him to back off because he’s going too far.  cid tells him strength isn’t enough to be a SeeD.  laguna is another parallel to squall (as his father) because while laguna throws himself into things because he thinks he’s doing the right thing, squall holds back and would rather criticize others for not doing enough.  laguna has kiros and ward, seifer has raijin and fujin, neither of which are “worse” than seifer.  both friendships involve the “friends” supporting their main character friend wholeheartedly and consistently being worried over them.  raijin and fujin don’t accept seifer would be executed and are the only ones to bother to go looking for him, out of concern for what he might be experiencing alone.  when seifer turns away from them it hurts them because they just want him to come back and abandon garden and everything together, because seifer has never been one to obey authority and now he IS.  even though laguna gets them lost in esthar and ward loses his voice entirely, ward and kiros spend their last (known) minutes apologizing to laguna for not being able to keep traveling with him.

everyone else in the game who isn’t just A Party Member and is otherwise observed to be “fine” has people they are friends with and close with.  squall doesn’t.  he’s an outsider and when people attempt to be friends with him, he shuts them out.  the only other party members who don’t have anyone are irvine and quistis; irvine is alone because of some heartbreaker sniper garbage (you’re a womanizer OH) and quistis is alone because she can’t connect with her peers due to being an instructor of people not much younger than her but too young to be close to more mature faculty.

squall intentionally goes after people about things he thinks they should be insecure about and gets angry when they don’t “realize” what they’re doing that’s wrong.  squall falls into the same Toxic Masculinity/Don’t Idolize This category that characters like rick sanchez and walter white fall into, where they’re successful but for all the wrong reasons.  rinoa is like eighteen and she was born into a galbadia-occupied world where resistance members are being tried and persecuted for trying to get timber’s independence which was taken from them.  squall takes her inability to know what to do when she SAYS she never imagined they’d be able to get this far as an individual fault, never apologizes, and it’s written off as “well she needs to learn how to do whatever” when in reality squall had no right to talk to her like that.  because she’s right; he just blindly follows orders and puts himself on a pedestal of moral superiority because “he isn’t the one who messed up”, because he doesn’t DO anything he’d have to take personal responsibility for.  he tells rinoa what she SHOULD be doing and then when she’s like “oh really?  okay i’ll go with that” because he has combat experience and training he takes that opportunity to rip into her because “she can’t make decisions on her own”.

rinoa specifically goes through a LOT of shit because squall refuses to make the first move for the majority of the game.  rinoa is always the one who steps in to protect squall and squall has nothing to say but criticism because “she should have let him die.  she should have carried out the mission”.  seifer steps in to protect squall and instead of respecting his memory squall decides to make it about his existential crisis rather than the fact his classmate who tried to save his ass was executed.

and this would be fine; seifer is allowed to have negative character development.  but seifer never receives sympathy or empathy for the fact he was brainwashed and taken away from everyone.  seifer broke the rules of garden and everything for the sake of protecting people he didn’t think would be able to make it out alive.  seifer says, “they’re gonna get killed if they wind up against the whole galbadian army” because cid dispatched 3 new SeeD members into a situation he knew was far graver than “heehee just free timber” as though it would be so easy.  seifer knew garden was a sham from the beginning and even when the narrative flips to say “yeah garden is actually the worst thing”, it’s not “oh shit!  we were after the wrong guy!” it’s “well seifer should have done a better job of relaying that information”.

seifer knew squall wasn’t ready to be a SeeD.  seifer knew SeeD was basically a pass to do whatever you wanted.  seifer knew making squall the leader of a squad when he’s insufferable and difficult was a bad idea.  seifer told zell so many times to be quiet even before he threatened the president and because zell was so caught up on “god i fucking hate that guy” he led to seifer being brainwashed and the war getting more tense.

edea knew if quistis or anyone else would be able to talk to seifer the brainwashing wouldn’t work; that’s why she incapacitated quistis when she ran in on the scene.  seifer was taken advantage of against his will and then had literally no way of getting away; his “romantic dream” was with rinoa, not being edea’s “knight” or whatever.  the fact squall had the audacity to call him a lapdog and whatever else is just so fucking stupid because the game confirms brainwashing was happening.  squall has a massive fucking ego problem and he isn’t forced to come to terms with it until the world is literally ending and him and rinoa almost die in fucking space.  rinoa girl you deserve so much better than a man you need to teach compassion.

like it’s not even inherently bad final fantasy had a protagonist who was entirely self-serving because yeah squall does eventually learn he’s a fucking dick.  no wonder you’re worried about being a memory because what the fuck would anyone say about you.  seifer got called heroic and noble and it drove squall so crazy because it was all retrospective he stormed out of the room screaming “I WON’T BE A MEMORY” which is so fucking tasteless.  quistis is looking for just friendly support because she was demoted because of seifer and squall and squall tells her “well other peoples’ problems aren’t mine”.  squall finds out rinoa might have been looking for seifer and he really gets so worked up until he finds out she was looking for cid at the party, but then gets mad again because seifer introduced them.  but it just doesn’t make sense to have the antagonist be the parallel of someone self-serving.

like don’t even get me started on the fact that like, squall and rinoa wound up being together in the end, because yeah rinoa deserved better than squall.  she deserved better than to have her boyfriend who she was in love with dangled in front of her with no way to get him back.  she deserved better than to have to fight someone she loved for her life because her boyfriend was taken from her because of some stupid “preserve the garden!” agenda when garden didn’t take her seriously until seifer introduced her to cid.  rinoa had no obligation to stay with squall outside of he was assigned to her and he treated her like shit for so long.  she wanted seifer to be with her because seifer gave her courage and made her feel like she could do anything.  instead she had to help squall through several character arcs because “she needs to stand up for herself” or whatever and it’s like, your boyfriend SHOULD be giving you hope that you can do what you want to.  it’s not a bad thing seifer’s the one who gave her that.  she didn’t “rely” on seifer, he was strong and self-assured but canonically hates pity so he would not “pity” her.

and like as far as i remember and am playing, squall doesn’t even hate seifer.  he thinks he’s a dick and full of himself but boy are you sure calling the kettle black.  seifer didn’t respect quistis because she was a coward and relied on her role as “instructor” to berate and punish him.  that’s part of the reason she was demoted, because she couldn’t be fair.  seifer never missed and that’s why they had to shove him into the antagonist role, because they needed to take away the person squall was living in the shadow of for him to realize HE was the problem and not everyone else.

if seifer had been on the mission to assassinate the president they never would’ve gotten on the damn train because he would’ve been smart enough to say “hey rinoa if this is such public information i don’t think he’s gonna be on the train, let’s not put all of our energy into this as the main plan”.  squall went along with it and then got nasty because it didn’t work.  squall single-handedly let everything get so fucking bad because he was too scared to maybe be “wrong”.  he’s lucky so many other people were willing to go down for him to succeed like very genuinely because if i was on that boy’s team call me the next seifer almasy.

[nobodyfamousposts]

Miraculous Kwami Swap

I’ve seen it done before where circumstances result in a different pair of heroes in Origins, but I’ve yet to see it fully expanded on just how wide-ranging the effects would be.

Imagine we have Alya and Nino get the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous.

For one, it would be better on principle because of the idea behind this change is that the perspective and focus would ultimately be more spread out among the characters rather than central on two. This is in part because neither Alya or Nino would have the direct tie to the central plot other than by being chosen as the heroes. This means no tie to the villain or to the guardian.

Furthermore, there would be much different dynamics—not only with each other, but with their families and civilian lives. Marinette and Adrien had it easy in a sense as each of them was an only child. Compare that with Nino, who has a younger brother and Alya, who has two younger sisters to watch out for as well as one older one who is rather dead-set on protecting her from the akumas she has to go out and fight.

On the plus side, this means Nino wouldn’t need Marinette’s help to beat Nora at arm wrestling. On the other plus side, Nora would strike me as the type to catch on to Alya’s secret and try to help her…through training her to fight.

Alya: I can never use my arms again!

On the same note, this means very different positions for Alya and Nino as the Ladybug and Black Cat.

Alya was shown to be very big on the idea of superheroes in Origins, so she would be pretty psyched about being one, in a manner rather similar to Adrien. She’d have to learn that the life of a superhero is actually much more difficult than expected with secrets and juggling responsibilities—something she may “know” about from comics, but not something she would understand until she actually has to live it—much like in Sapotis where she initially said she’d tell Marinette her identity at the start of the episode only to back out of doing so by the end.

She’s also pretty reckless in canon, meaning that any instances of Chat!Nino rescuing her would be more of a response to her not fully thinking things through than him needlessly jumping in the way. This would allow for more growth potential for Alya as she is forced to take a serious look at her actions and possible consequences.

There would also be more difficulty with the Lucky Charm. Alya isn’t shown to be one for thinking things through, and that is something the Ladybug position would require and force her to do. This ultimately forces Alya to slow down and consider things before acting—both in regards to jumping to conclusions, but also in leaping before she looks. There’s also the bonus that this would result in Chat!Nino being able to step in to help direct her at points and allow him more of a role and say in battles.

On the other end, Nino is shown to be laid back in canon, but he is shown to be pretty good at thinking on his feet and planning things out. Even as an akuma, it took quite a bit of planning and set up to arrange Adrien’s birthday party. There’s also the other party from Party Crasher where Nino plotted out everything from what excuses to give the girls to how to get into the mansion. Sure, it was a horrible plan for various reasons, but it was a well plotted out one. His level of planning actually seemed to be about on par with Marinette though without the universe as a whole working against him most of the time.

Nino would admittedly do well with the Ladybug Miraculous. He’s smart, he’s a quick thinker, and he’s good at planning. But he’s not quite so good with leadership. We saw during Horrificator how he was acting—changing the script without telling everyone or consulting Alya when it was HER script, being harsh on Mylene, replacing her too quickly without considering her feelings. These were things the show didn’t call him out for, but they were still issues that should have been noted and addressed.

Nino is noted to be more of a follower, perhaps even codependent to a degree. In two separate instances, he pretty much gave up once Alya was down even though he could have continued and helped the heroes turn things around. First during Zombizou when Alya was kissed by the zombies in the elevator, he chose to stay behind with her and let himself be kissed once she was converted. It was sweet, sure, but there was no real reason for that if he knew Ladybug could restore things and that he could help her do so and save Alya. The second time was during Heroes Day when Alya was hit by the hate arrow and akumatized, he was so dismayed by it that he let himself be taken down as well. Ignoring again that this wasn’t the end and there was something he could do. Furthermore, whatever decisions he made or sides he chose to take seemed mostly dependent on other people and what they wanted from him at the time rather than using his own judgement.

A cat should be able to stand and act alone when needed, and that’s something he could gain from the Black Cat miraculous. Not to mention that there’s also the matter of the kwamis and how these pairings would interact.

Of the possible options for human and kwami teams, the most gain and interesting interactions seems to be with Alya and Tikki and with Nino and Plagg. Tikki would be encouraging Alya’s better traits but also helping to rein her in when she jumps to conclusions or acts without thinking. She’d also push Alya to consider how other people feel. Plagg, on the other hand, is particularly ornery and would be the one encouraging Nino to act rather than sit back, even if the “acts” he’s encouraging would be less than particularly noble. I’d also see Plagg having less concerns about acting out and Nino having to act more as the responsible one and trying to keep Plagg in line. Since he doesn’t have to worry about Nino being locked up and isolated the way commonly threatened with Adrien, Plagg would have less reason to need to behave. And since Nino likely couldn’t afford massive amounts of Camembert, he’d have less incentive to behave either.

This would also change the dynamic of the love square. Alya would probably consider her partner as a love interest since they’re both heroes and partners and that’s generally how it goes in the comics. It’s not about putting him on a pedestal, it’s about falling into expectations and it would be another aspect of heroism that Alya would need a lesson on. Furthermore, Nino still starts out with the crush on Marinette.

So we’d have Alya and Nino juggling their hero duties, school, families, and friendships. But what about those friendships?

Adrien is still the son of the big bad, but he doesn’t know it. Furthermore, he knows nothing about the Miraculous either. Being Chat Noir had no real impact on a number of aspects of his civilian life, so he would still have the initial circumstances of his first day of school, would still be friends with Chloe, would still be accused of putting gum on Marinette’s seat, and would still end up making things right with her by the end of the day. So he’s still friends with Nino an is still the center of a lot of people’s affections: Marinette, Chloe, Lila, and Wayhem.

Without Chat Noir, Adrien wouldn’t have an outlet for all the energy and freedom-seeking, so we’d be seeing a more vocal and dare I say rebellious version of Adrien than the one we get in canon. So not only would we have more Adrien and Gabriel interaction and conflict, but that also means Adrien manages to have more free time to hang out with his friends.

Ultimately, when the main duo are allowed to start asking others for help, Adrien would be high on Nino’s list. Nino would give Adrien the fox because of the illusion that Adrien tends to maintain. He knows that Adrien hides himself behind a mask and so would give him a chance to show his true self. The fact that it would be later revealed that Adrien is the son of their arch enemy would hit them pretty hard. Especially if things happen that result in Adrien switching sides to help his father.

Also, since Adrien isn’t Chat, that means he never inspired or got a front row seat to Ladybug’s speech and never fell for her. So no love square. That means he’s able to explore possible feelings for any of the people interested in him. In particular, Marinette.

Now that she’s brought up, what role does Marinette play in this? Imagine if she gets drawn into the whole thing by accident?

Given Alya’s nature, she strikes me as a proactive hero—to the point where she would be trying to seek out Hawk Moth in her downtime. So she starts going over possible suspects, looking for clues to where the akuma are coming from, what all Hawk Moth would need for his lair, etc. And one of the people on the list is none other than Adrien Agreste.

Think about it! Monsters start attacking only after he first starts showing up. Their class have almost all been turned into akumas by this point. It’s like Hawk Moth is targeting them specifically. And Adrien is never around during an akuma fight (because he’s hiding like any sensible person)! And Adrien is one of the few people in class who hasn’t been akumatized! it can’t be coincidence!

So Alya pulls Marinette into her scheme to check out the Agreste mansion for clues. And they would find nothing since as it turns out, Adrien actually is innocent.

Except Nooroo in this version of events isn’t nearly as passive as his canon counterpart. The heroes are struggling and Gabriel is even more of an ass to his son and to Nooroo himself. Needless to say, he’s somewhat spiteful and feeling particularly passive aggressive.

So when a random school friend of Adrien’s just happens to visit (read: scope out the mansion for clues), Nooroo uses butterfly effect—which he IS the master and creator of thank you very much—to get the Peacock Miraculous into her bag in hopes that she can help in some way. Inform the heroes, get the Miraculous to Fu somehow, help Dusuu, just something more than the Peacock Miraculous staying trapped in the safe where Gabriel can use it.

So Marinette gets home unknowingly carrying a magical item in her bag. Later on, she discovers she now has a strange broach. And an even stranger creature attached.

Marinette: AH! IT’S A GIANT BIRD! A MOUSE! A-A BIRD-MOUSE!

Marinette is still pretty smart. She would figure out at some point that Alya is the Ladybug hero and want to help. But the Miraculous is damage and using it would cause her harm. So Marinette tries to avoid using the Peacock Miraculous while also trying to either find the Guardian or figure out some way to fix the broken magical artifact…to…some limited success.

Ultimately, Marinette is trying to help in her own way, but with the volatile situation, she tries to avoid transforming unless the heroes really need her to. Unfortunately, given the difficulty Alya and Nino are having as the heroes, as well as the changes with Adrien that are forcing Gabriel to push matters more quickly, Marinette ends up having to transform and help out on several occasions. And as she does, she gets weaker as the damaged Miraculous is taking its toll on her.

So let’s review:

We have Ladybug!Alya. Quick to action and struggling with thinking things through, with a Miraculous and kwami that are pushing her to become more of a leader and plan things out.

Black Cat!Nino. A follower and possible codependent, with a Miraculous and kwami that are prone to trouble and pushing him to act.

Fox!Adrien. More rebellious and passive aggressive. With a super villain father and much less inclined to simply sit by and let people hang on him or infringe upon him.

Peacock!Marinette. More shy but less anxious or overwhelmed due to not having the responsibility of Ladybug. Still creative and intelligent, enough to know who at least one of the superheroes is, and by pure happenstance ends up with the Peacock Miraculous.

This can only go well!