#it was just very tell don’t show kind of storytelling

[robertsbarbie]

just watched Wish with my sister and unpopular opinion it’s not as awful horrendous as people say like julia michaels should not have written the lyrics, the character animation with the art style could’ve been blended better and some of the obvious easter egg were a little much but i think it was interesting to look at a utopia society and the true corruption that lies beneath the surface

[sharkieboi]

*makes first few comments on reddit and the poster is immediately argumentative about interpretation of media/literature so you double down on telling them they’re stupid*

[whispers-whump]

Some writing advice

that I like to use when I write. None of this is meant to be taken as hard and fast rules, they’re just things I like to do/keep in mind when I’m writing and I thought maybe other people would enjoy! <3

Never say what you mean

This is an offshoot of the very common “show don’t tell” advice, which I think can be confusing in application and unhelpful for scenes where telling is actually the right move. Instead, I keep the advice to never say exactly what I mean in stories.

By using a combination of showing and telling to hint at what you really mean, you force your reader to think and figure it out on their own, which makes for a more satisfying reading experience.

You might show a character getting angry and defensive in response to genuine care and concern. You could tell the audience that the character doesn’t see/talk to their parents often. But never outright give the real meaning that the character feels unlovable because of their strained relationship with their parents and as a result they don’t know how to react to being cared for.

Your readers are smart, you don’t need to spoon feed them.

Be sparse with the important things

You know how in a lot of movies there’s that tense scene where a character is hiding from something/someone and you can only just see this person/thing chasing them through a crack in the door? You get a very small glimpse of whatever’s after the character, sometimes only shadows being visible.

Do that in your writing. Obscure the important things in scenes by overdescribing the unimportant and underdescribing the important.

You might describe the smell of a space, the type of wood the floor is made of, the sound of work boots moving slowly across the room, a flashlight in the character’s hand. And there’s a dead body, laying in a pool of blood in the far corner of the room, red soaking into the rug. Then move on, what kind of rug is it? What is the color, patterns, and type of fabric of the rug?

Don’t linger on the details of the body, give your reader’s imagination some room to work while they digest the mundane you give them.

Dialogue is there to tell your story too

There’s a lot of advice out there about how to make dialogue more realistic, which is absolutely great: read aloud to yourself, put breaks where you feel yourself take a breath, reword if you’re stuttering over your written dialogue. But sometimes, in trying to make dialogue sound more realistic, a little bit of its function is lost.

Dialogue is more than just what your characters say, dialogue should serve a purpose. It’s a part of storytelling, and it can even be a bridging part of your narration.

If you have a scene with a lot of internal conflict that is very narration-heavy, breaking it up with some spoken dialogue can be a way to give some variety to those paragraphs without moving onto a new idea yet; people talk to themselves out loud all of the time.

Dialogue is also about what your characters don’t say. This can mean the character literally doesn’t say anything, they give half-truths, give an expected answer rather than the truth (“I’m fine”), omit important information, or outright lie.

Play with syntax and sentence structure

You’ve heard this advice before probably. Short, choppy sentences and a little onomatopoeia work great for fast-paced action scenes, and longer sentences with more description help slow your pacing back down.

That’s solid advice, but what else can you play with? Syntax and sentence structure are more than just the length of a sentence.

Think about things like: repetition of words or ideas, sentence fragments, stream of consciousness writing, breaking syntax conventions, and the like. Done well, breaking some of those rules we were taught about language can be a more compelling way to deliver an emotion, theme, or idea that words just can’t convey.

Would love to hear any other tips and tricks other people like to use, so feel free to share!!!

[artist-issues]

Let’s talk about this Mufasa movie.

No. Let’s not. Let’s just talk about Mufasa. This is going to be long because he’s a really good character and The Lion King is a really good movie.

Mufasa’s whole point, as a character, is to foil Simba. He’ s not just the stereotypical “great dad role model” character, or the “wise mentor who is ripped away” character.

He, as a character, is in the story because he is “Who Simba Really Is.”

Simba is our young protagonist. The whole point of Simba in the story is to start out “not yet grown into who he really is,” so that the story can teach him how to “grow into who he really is.”

So the audience needs to know “who is Simba and who is Simba supposed to be?” right at the beginning. Which is great, because all kids are trying to figure out the same question about themselves. So it’s relatable. But anyway, the storytellers make Mufasa the answer.

On a simple level, you can answer the question, “who is this Simba guy?” right off the bat in the movie with “the son of the King.” There’s the setting. There’s the set-up. There’s the title of the movie. That’s why the very first lion you’re introduced to in the movie is Mufasa, and it’s not a shot of a baby lion cub. It could have been. Lots of movies open with a shot of their main character. Encanto, for one.

Not The Lion King. The Lion King starts with, “you can’t know who Simba is without Mufasa, so Mufasa gets shown first.”

So okay, Mufasa is a King. Good to know. That’s obvious from the big rock he’s standing on and the way all the animals are coming toward him. But from there, they quickly establish a few more things about Mufasa. He smiles at this little bird that bows to him. He hugs the shaman-monkey. He goes from “big solemn lion” to “good and benevolent” immediately.

And then as it goes on, you learn more about Mufasa. He’s not an idiot; he knows Scar is up to no good, and he is very direct about it. He is not a naive dupe, trusting a schemer blindly. It’s more complicated than that. He is a better leader and a better guy than that. Mufasa knows Scar is his brother, and in a snappy little interaction with Zazu, storytellers make it clear that he worries about Scar; he knows he has good reason to worry, but hasn’t decided to give up on his brother.

Additionally, he is merciful to other dark creatures too. He beats the tar out of hyenas but doesn’t kill them. He rescues Zazu from Scar’s mouth. He scolds Simba but he does that, and more, to teach him. So what Mufasa is teaching us, according to what I just showed you the story says, is that A Good King, A Good Man (Lion, whatever) Is:

Authoritative - Makes decrees and makes decisions and yes, tells others what to do. Creates the structure his people live in.

Kind/Humble - Shows the same level of casual friendship to a revered shaman-recluse as he does a little self-important majordomo. (Humble because he’s not afraid to admit when he’s afraid if it’ll help his son.)

Teaches - Takes time out of the day to pass on what he’s learned to someone who is going to take his place—he’s not hoarding his own position or gatekeeping his life-experience-expertise. He’s not finding his identity in how he has this wealth of information that causes people to need him; he gives it away freely, purposefully.

Protects - Is willing to endanger himself and go to the trouble of defending creatures that are weaker than himself.

Shows Mercy - See Scar and the hyenas, who deserve death, but he doesn’t give it to them.

Prioritizes Family - The time he’s taking out of the day is for his son. And he follows up with his recluse of a brother instead of going, “that’s Scar, I know he don’t care about nobody but himself, his loss, not my problem.” And he extends trust to that brother, which is really just an example of gift-giving to a family member who’s done nothing to keep that trust.

Has Faith - Mufasa makes a point of not answering Simba’s question about “Will you always be there for me,” with just himself. He could’ve. Many parents do. Many parents are tempted to, to show their love. “Yes. You’ll always have me. I’ll always be there to answer your questions; I’ll always protect you, I’ll always be what you can count on, you’ll always find a need fulfilled in me.” But Mufasa doesn’t take that bait. He gives Simba an answer that is not “himself-based.” Not selfish. “Look at the stars.” I don’t care what ya’ll say. Mufasa has faith in something outside of himself. He says “and so will I,” but that’s after contextualizing himself within “something bigger than us.” (And oh my gosh, he doesn’t even answer with, “let me give you a lesson you’ll need for your whole life.” He doesn’t even take credit for this faith, for himself. He gives his own father the credit.)

And really, all of those traits can be summarized with the phrase: Lives His Life Sacrificially For Others.

That’s what a leader, a good father, a king, a good man, does. And pay attention: That is what Simba is supposed to be. Simba is supposed to be Mufasa. That’s who Simba really is, that’s where he’s supposed to go. There is a “real you.” But you have to agree with it and accept it, even though your natural bent is to give in to the illusion that you “don’t have to be that, you can choose who you are.”

Yeah, sure, in a sense you can reject Who You Really Are. You can spend your whole life playing pretend, like you’re not That. But you’ll be doing just that: playing pretend. Unfulfilled. Dissatisfied. Running from the misery that is the natural response to your silly game of pretend. Insisting that “there is no misery, this is what I want.”

Okay. Sure it is.

I’ll save Simba for another post.

The point is, Mufasa is a template for who Simba Really Is. Look at those traits. When it’s Simba’s turn to exemplify those traits, does he?

Act I: Is he authoritative? He tells characters what to. And he makes his own decisions—sometimes for good, sometimes bad. For example, he won’t let Zazu deter him from going to the elephant graveyard, so that’s a bad decision, but he does choose to go back and help Nala instead of running to save himself. Authoritative and protective. But it’s all misplaced because he doesn’t “Live His Life Sacrificially For Others.”

Act 2: He’s not. Timon and Pumbaa tell him to do something and he goes along with it. Timon and Pumbaa claim an ancient tradition and his father’s lesson is stupid and Simba goes along with that. He’s no longer making decisions of his own accord, for anything but his own comfort.

The idea is, in Act 1, you see Simba has the same traits as Mufasa, budding inside of him. But they’re all misdirected, and they’re all twisted, because they’re missing one key ingredient: he’s supposed to use those traits in the context of “Live His Life Sacrificially For Others.” Simba doesn’t want to do that. Simba wants to do whatever he wants.

Sure, there’s a part of him that combines that motive with “I want to be like my dad.” But that part dies on the vine and turns sour when his father dies saving him.

So then in Act 2, not only is Simba clinging to “I’m going to live life all my way,” but he’s changed what that means by pushing the nugget of “I want to be like my dad/I WANT TO BE WHO I REALLY AM” completely away. Because it’s too hard, and he’s got shame tangled up in it.

And worse—he starts doing basically the opposite of all of Mufasa’s traits, all of the traits that make him Who He Really Is. He’s not prioritizing family—he’s abandoning them. He’s not protecting others—he runs from the idea of going back to help Nala. (tiny glimmer of it still being inside him because he does try to protect Pumbaa from her.) Kind and humble? No. It’s unkind to tell your best friend you won’t help her because you’re afraid. Humble, no, because humility is thinking of yourself less, not thinking less of yourself.

Ask the question. When Simba’s living in the jungle with Timon and Pumbaa, is he exemplifying any of the traits of Who He Really Is? Or is he doing his best to bury that?

But then after Mufasa reminds him of who he Really Is, and Rafiki shows him how to get his past out of the way so he can accept it, Simba goes back. Into Act 3 we go

Now. Does Simba exemplify Mufasa’s traits? Does Simba start becoming Who He Really Is? There’s not a lot of time left in the movie. Look at the traits, see if he does.

Authoritative? Yep, comes up with the plan to break in and get to Scar, doesn’t back down from the confrontation.

Kind and Humble? Yeah, he willingly admits the truth (he thought it was true) that makes him look bad to give his mom closure. He’s kind to Nala and to Timon and Pumbaa, admits his mistakes, when they come to help him. Hugs the old shaman who cracked him in the skull with a stick—just like Mufasa hugged Rafiki to show us kindness and humility at the beginning of the movie.

Teaches? We don’t really see an opportunity for him to do that yet at this point in the story and his life, give me a break.

But protects? You bet. That’s why he’s there for the confrontation in the first place. Shows mercy?

Yep.

Because he’s not like Scar. He knows who he is. THE POINT.

And when he runs in for the big confrontation, he doesn’t immediately leap on Scar and rip him to pieces. Even though the storytellers make sure to show us he clearly wants to.

Instead, he runs up to his mother to see if she’s all right and show her that he is. And again, he tells her the truth because that’s what she needs even if it’s not what she wants, and he’s learned not to run from what he’s “done.” And faith in something bigger than himself?

Yeah. His father’s voice comes through the clouds just before he decides to roar and claim his title. Through the clouds. Because that whole “we’re a part of something bigger, something more important than ourselves,” was always what he was missing. He was just thinking about himself.

And all of this is because Mufasa is the example of Who Simba Really Is: Lives His Life Sacrificially For Others. That’s Mufasa.

That’s Mufasa, in the story of The Lion King. That’s his purpose as a character, that’s who he is.

So now if you make a movie that’s just about him, what you should be doing is showing how he got there. How he accepted who he Really Is instead of choosing who he wants to be, on his own. And you should make his father, and learning humility, an enormous part of that. Because self-sacrifice is such a pillar of his character. It’s the whole thing.

What you should certainly not be doing is telling a story that ends with finding self-worth or a kid who makes a name for himself. I repeat: if the Mufasa live action movie ends with Mufasa doing anything that revolves around self, they got him wrong and they set him up nonsensically for the next movie.

He should have to decide whether or not he wants to believe his own father, because of that one line, “let me tell you something my father told me.” That shows that he accepted his father’s lesson. And what was his father’s lesson about? Faith. In something BIGGER THAN YOURSELF. So then Mufasa grows up to be a character who lives his life sacrificially for others, and you can trace the roots back to that: “I learned a lesson about something bigger than myself from someone who was not myself, and I humbly believed and accepted that lesson.”

I mean jeez, the line is: “LOOK AT THE STARS.” Whenever you feel alone. Whenever you’re wrapped up in who you are and who you’re not and failure and the idea of what you want to be, knock it off. Quit looking at yourself and look at something bigger than you. And then you’ll get “Understanding of Who You Really Are”—no matter what mistakes you’ve made, no matter how you’ve failed, no matter what your circumstances are—thrown in.

…Of course, the Lion King remake ruined him anyway by having the point be “I’m not worthless.” And that was never the point. But whatever. I’m rambling now. You get the idea.

Mufasa is exactly what he needs to be for the original The Lion King. He’s exactly what he needs to be for Simba’s story. Mufasa is awesome.

[astr0n0va1]

𝐌𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 - 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐬 - 𝟐

Previous parts Teaser Pt.1

I'm sorry about the wait and from now on ill post one or two parts a week. I had a really busy week and this chapter takes things a little slow but next chapter will be really good. Thank you for reading, liking, and reblogging. Enjoy <3 - Astr0n0va 2,207 words

The next morning you woke up feeling certain things. You hadn’t even fully woken up and you started thinking about Armando and the events of last night. As your mind created thoughts and fantasies with him you started to lead your hand down your waistband and past your panties. But then there was a knock at your door. You retrieved your hand and groaned before getting up.

You opened the door to find Kelly standing there with a toasted bagel topped with cream cheese and a cup of Orange juice.

“Morning Y/n do you have anything to tell me?” She asked, holding out your breakfast. 

But as you went for it she pulled it back before you could reach it. You looked at her and she raised her eyebrows telling you to tell her. You took a peak in the hallway making sure Armando wasn’t anywhere near. Then you fully opened the door and let her in.

“Fine, come in.” You said before shutting the door.

She handed you your breakfast and as you started eating she started talking.

“ Well, I don’t know I found it strange that when I woke up at like 11 at night to get some water I made my way to the kitchen but you weren’t there. So I thought she must be in her room, but when I checked you weren’t in there either. So where were you missy?” She asked before stealing a bite of your bagel.

“First of all I thought this was my breakfast, and you can’t tell anybody but I was washing dishes and Armando offered to help and we started building something. Then I was giving him the house tour and I was showing him the garage and he asked if he could bring his bike in, and I was like yeah. Then we kind of went on a little late-night ride. After that, we come back and obviously, I’m thanking him and he’s like anytime princess.” You explained.

When Kelly heard the last sentence her eyes went wide.

“ I didn’t think of him to be a little sweet talker.” She said while changing positions to get a better view of you.

“But that’s not all because then it was like 12 or 1 in the morning and I felt a little thirsty. So I make my way downstairs to get a water bottle and find him shirtless in some pajama pants also looking for water. So then I’m asking him what he’s doing up and all that. Ok so he ended up putting the water case in the fridge, and then as I’m walking upstairs he’s behind me. And then I’m like good night Armando, and he’s like a goodnight princess. When I tell you my heart was down to my ass at that very moment I mean it.” You before taking a drink of your orange juice, as the storytelling of your night made you thirsty.

“So are you going to fuck him?” Kelly asked shamelessly.

“When you say it like that it makes me sound like a slut.” You said while getting up to pick out your outfit for today.

“Oh I’m sorry do you plan to make love with him Y/n?” She said while putting quotation marks around making love.

“Thank you, but I don’t know. He works with me. It's not like I can have sex with him and then see him every other day and act like nothing happened. So I’m not sure what I’m doing with him yet.” You said while pulling out a bikini from your mini suitcase.

“Ok just be careful whatever you do. I don’t want to see you get hurt, especially by him.” She said while coming closer and looking at the clothes you had picked out.

“See now this is what I am talking about you need to show off your body more. It's a shame that you hide it underneath all those baggy tees and sweatpants.” She said while peaking through your bag.

“Okay Kelly message received, but about what I just told you please don’t tell anyone.” You said begging her.

“ I won’t trust me. But as of right now, you need to get ready so we can fucking go.” She said before placing a slap on your ass.

“owwwww Now I’m going to get you back for that bitch.” You said to her before she grabbed your cup and started to walk out of the room.

“ oh come on you know you like it princess.” She says trying to mock Armando.

You grab a pillow and quickly throw it at the door but she closes it before it can make contact.

After you showered you put on your red 2 piece bikini and threw on a pair of jean shorts and a crop top. You put your hair in a claw clip, apply your lotions, oils, and perfume, and then slip into your sandals and make your way downstairs.

On the couch sat Rafe, Dorn, and Armando on their phones. But as soon as you went to turn around Kelly was right coming down.

“Can we take your car Y/n?” Asked Kelly.

“Yeah, sure. But how many Jet skis did you rent?”

“I think 3.” She said while grabbing your keys.

“But there’s 5 of us.” You said questioning her choice.

“Yeah me and Dorn on one, Rafe on one, and it was supposed to be you and Rita on one but since she’s not here your choices are Armando or Rafe.” She said with a smirk.

“Ride with me Y/n.” Said Rafe with a wink.

“Rafe I value my life and my safety so no, I’m not riding with you.” You said while turning to him with a smile.

“Then you are riding with Armando.” Said Dorn, sending you a smirk from across the room.

“Are you okay with that Armando?” You asked him.

“Yeah.” He said with a nod.

“Okay then everyone grabs your stuff and we are leaving in Y/n’s car,” Kelly said while turning off some lights and walking into the garage.

You went and locked the back doors and the front door. This made you the last one in the car. When you got there you noticed Dorn in the driver seat and Kelly as the passenger, this left you to ride in between Armando and Rafe.

>>> skip to the beach

You and Kelly rented a locker to put your stuff in. And as you finished putting your purse and valuables in there you noticed Kelly taking off her clothes revealing her swimsuit.

“Why’d you take your clothes off now?” You asked her.

“Why wouldn’t you take them off now?” She asked while taking off her shoes and placing them in the locker.

You took the message and took off your shorts and your crop top leaving you in your red two-piece. You slid your shoes off and grabbed your glasses before walking out to the rental shack with her.

The guys eventually came and you all divided into your pairs. Then as you got your life vest you looked over to your assigned Jet ski and saw Armando waiting for you. He wore some black swim trunks leaving his toned chest out, and around his neck 2 layered gold chains. As you made your way over he kept his eyes on you as you walked towards him.

“Do you want to drive it first or do you want me to?” He asked.

“You can drive it because I don’t know how to.” You replied.

He then proceeded to get on and then you got on behind him. As he took off you re-adjusted yourself bringing yourself closer to him.

“You can’t put your arms around me I don’t bite.” He said with a small chuckle.

You looped your arms around him and as he took off speeding up you leaned your head on his back holding on to him firmly. After a few swerves and 10-15 minutes of riding Armando convinced you to try to drive it.

“You sure. I don’t want to flip us or anything.” You said while he got off and waited for you to scoot up.

“We will be fine, princess let’s go. I got you if anything.” He said while hopping in behind you.

You put your hands on the 2 handlebars and as soon as you are about to start applying pressure you feel Armando’s body come into contact with you, and his hands go over yours guiding the jet-ski.

Due to his body being bigger his hand just covered yours and helped you guide, and steer the Jet Ski in the right direction.

His scent was strong even though the smell of saltwater should have faded. You saw Keely and Dorn and steered their way with the help of Armando. Before you noticed Rafe was also coming in.

“Y/n how about a little race?” Asked Kelly.

“I don’t know I’m not…” you were cut off by Armando.

“To where?” Asked Armando.

“Rafe, go out,” Kelly said.

After that Rafe steered out about 1/4 mile out.

“What the fuck?” You said while looking back at Armando.

“It’s okay princess we got this just trust me.” He said tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

You swallowed hard and just looked forward again.

“So are we on 1/4 mile?” Asked Kelly.

“We’re on,” Armando replied.

“Alright then when Rafe gives the signal we go.” She said, adjusting herself as Dorn let out a nervous laugh.

“Guys it’s just a friendly race, don't forget that,” Dorn said trying to lower the competitiveness between Armando and Kelly.

“Yes please don’t forget.” You added.

Kelly and he brushed off you and Dorn’s comments and kept their focus on Rafe waiting for him to give the signal. When he did Armando applied pressure onto your hand making the jet ski go faster, this made you sink back into him the farther y’all got. 

Dorn and Kelly were a bit behind you guys but slowly catching up, so Armando decided to swerve the Jetski to get more water on them. So they would slow down and lose. 

But on the last swerve to get back into the side you were both originally on he ended up applying too much force. This caused the Jetski to flip.

Everything happened so fast that you didn’t realize when your body hit the water. The only thing you could acknowledge was that Armando had his arms around you. 

He pulled you up, helping you stay afloat and stay above water before he made his way to the Jetski and flipped back over trying to help you get on. He helped you push yourself up and back to the seat, and then he used his upper body strength to pull himself up. 

“You guys okay?” Says Dorn.

“I would have felt better if we would have won.” You replied.

“You almost drowned and you worried about winning.” Says Rafe while checking his phone.

“No first off my life vest saved me and Armando made sure I wasn’t underwater for a long time.” You said trying to make the situation better.

“Whatever, we have to go, we have to get ready for tonight. And we also have to eat.” Kelly said.

“Yeah, fine let’s go,” Rafe said before putting his phone in the seat compartment and steering off. Then Kelly and Dorn followed.

“Do you still want me to drive back to shore?” Armando asked you. You could feel some of the guilt through his words. 

“Yeah, so we should probably switch,” you said while trying to stand up and keep the Jetski balanced.

You both switched seats, sending him to the front and riding on the back. You wrapped your arms around him and he started steering to the shore. I decided to break the silence.

“Armando.” You said hoping he would respond. 

“Hmm?” He said, keeping his gaze to the front. 

“ You know it’s not your fault it happens to most of us it's ok.” You said as he slowed down as y’all came close to the shore. 

He still wouldn’t look at you or look your way. You got off of the jet ski and took off your life vest. He did the same while not looking at you. 

“Armando, can you take this back for me?” You asked, trying to force some type of interaction.

He nodded and you passed it to him and then grabbed his hand. He was now looking you in the eyes.

“Thank you for saving me out there.” You said. And then placed a small kiss near the corner of his mouth. 

You then walked off back to the locker to get your stuff, and Kelly eventually joined you.

“I saw what you did out there.” She said nudging you. 

“Yeah like you said I have to get out of my comfort zone a little bit more.” You replied with a small smile.

“Fuck, I think when we get to the house I’m taking a nap and then I’m going to get ready for the club,” Kelly said exhaustedly.

“Same because I just know it’s going to be a long night.”

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Taglist: @cardi-bre91, @believeinthefireflies95, @blackgirlmagicforever , @bootlegroach , @mentalidrainedfangirl , @lotusunique, @thesizzler , @marissa53115 , @yeahnohoneybye

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[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

So, I’d initially made a post that said something along the lines of “it’s weird that they had Stolas say this”—

“Only to remind the audience like 9 min later of a specific time where Stolas talked down to Blitzø”

And I also included the original scene for context/comparison:

But after posting someone DID point out that in the song’s lyrics during that sequence, Stolas was questioning his past choices and coming to the realization that his actions had affected Blitz—They stated that initial scene of him saying he doesn’t look down on Blitz was a set up for this later self-reflection on his behavior in “All 2 U”, and potentially realizing how harmful his actions have been.

And I think this is a very fair interpretation and observation—as well as something I missed, and that’s on me.

I like talking about these things openly, because I think it is really nice to get other people’s perspectives and interpretations of stuff like this, and I’m also susceptible to missing things on a watch-through.

I decided to delete the original post, b/c I realized I agreed partially with their assessment of the scene, and because there was another comment that was a little spicier, and I didn’t want people to start arguing back in forth in the comments. That’s happened before and it’s always kind of annoying.

With all of that said, I do still think those lines were a weird choice, and I want to go over why the song “All 2 U” fell really flat to me in regards to Stolas’ self reflection. (More below + TLDR @ the end)

There is, so far, a really consistent pattern in Helluva Boss’ writing, where every time Stolas comes close to reflecting on the way his actions could have negatively affected Blitz, the focus almost immediately shifts back to Stolas’ own feelings and situation.

It’s kind of become the status-quo for HB—Stolas will have a brief moment of questioning himself, before the story continues to frame Blitzø as being in the wrong.

We see this really blatantly in “All 2 U”—where anytime Stolas DOES begin to question his own actions, Verosika and Vortex chime in and immediately assure him that it’s Blitz who’s in the wrong:

And then even after, these lines where he questions himself further

The song just CONTINUES to focus only on Stolas’ feelings, and prioritize them above all else. He has a brief moment where he wonders if he’s in the wrong, before brushing those concerns away and continuing to refer to Blitz as “the motherfucker”.

The montage during this also goes to great lengths to show how regretful Blitzø is hearing all of this.

He feels terrible that Stolas is hurt—even though Blitz does NOT owe Stolas anything. You can disagree with me, but based on the arrangement that STOLAS created, their relationship is entirely transactional (and coercive, but I don’t have time to get into that mess right now).

Blitzø is in no way obligated to treat their “relationship” as something that holds meaning because of this—if Stolas is hurt by Blitz’s not reciprocating his feelings, that is ENTIRELY on Stolas. Blitz has not wronged Stolas in any way by not reciprocating those feelings.

But it’s so very clear that the WHOLE PURPOSE of this song—and this entire episode, even if there is a moment where Stolas questions himself—is to portray Blitz as the one in the wrong.

Even in the scene where Stolas questions what he’s done to Blitz and wonders if he’s in the wrong, his flashbacks include these scenes, which are framed as Blitzø being uncaring/blowing Stolas off after their arrangement:

This is probably one of my biggest issues with Stolitz as a ship, and with Stolas as a character. That the writing explicitly caters to Stolas’ feelings and beliefs, and (so far) refuses to hold him accountable for anything he does that negatively affects others. His actions have consequences just as much as Blitz’s do, but the narrative constantly frames him as being a victim.

You can say that both characters are in the wrong all you want, you can say to the audience point blank “this is what I intended with this scene”, but you still have to actually. write. the developing relationships and action of the story. Telling the audience about development after the fact is just poor storytelling.

I’ve already gone over how the narrative rarely holds Stolas accountable in the conflicts he has with Octavia, but it’s very much the same with Blitzø.

So much so that Autistic Swag on YouTube was able to make a Stolas Hypocrisy compilation video:

And because I know there’s a chance of people reacting to my criticisms this way, no, recognizing a character’s hypocrisy in the narrative is not “media illiteracy”.

Media analysis is still derived from the actual text of the story. I see fans (not just of HB, this is a general problem in a lot of fandom spaces) making wild leaps and jumps about story’s character developments, world building, plot-points, etc. and then claim that people who disagree with their interpretations are “media illiterate” and like.

Those are headcanons. Those are just personal headcanons that you made based on what you wanted to happen in the story.

Which is fine!!! Which is something that is very fun to do!!! I do it a lot actually!

Like, I could say that the green light in “The Great Gatsby” actually represents envy and that Gatsby is always staring at it because he’s actually jealous of Daisy and wants to transition from male to female and live as a transgender woman.

And that would be a really interesting concept to explore! But it would also be a headcanon because in the context of how the text is written, is clearly not the case.

Pointing out that Stolas’ actions are morally dubious at best, and that he is flawed and has done wrong and has very clearly hurt Blitzø by coercing him into a sexual relationship so Blitz can keep his livelihood isn’t media illiteracy. It’s literally. It’s just the text. Audiences aren’t media-illiterate for seeing that.

Final note time— I want this post to age poorly. I want so badly for there to be a future episode where Stolas is really truly held accountable for the ways in which he has hurt Blitzø, the ways in which he’s been classist and racist toward imps, the times that he’s neglected Octavia, and yes! Even for cheating on Stella!!

And I want this NOT because I want to see Stolas completely villainized or beat down, I want this because I want Stolas to develop and grow and change as a character. I want Stolas to actually have the nuance that the writers say he has!!

Again, as always, please know that if you love Stolas and Stolitz that I am REALLY not trying to rain on your parade. I’m not trying to convince you that you’re not allowed to like the story as is, or that your opinions are wrong. That would be really silly. You are allowed to interpret all of this literally however you want, even if we disagree.

The only, only thing I would ask you to please consider, is if you are doing the work of writing these characters development outside of the story, or are you building on what the writers have already shown you. I am not asking this to be condescending or elitist.

This is something I have to actively ask myself when reading and analyzing text and stories, and when analyzing and editing my own writing and work.

That’s all. Thanks for making it to the end of this long ass post. If you’d like to have a polite discussion about your thoughts on all of this I would genuinely like to hear it. I will delete any arguments or fights in the comments tho. Thanks again.

——————————

TLDR:

-“All 2 U” falls very flat as a song where Stolas re-examines his actions because even tho this self-reflection is set up, nothing ultimately comes of it and things immediately go back to the status quo

-This is a very consistent pattern with Stolas as a character, due to this he is severely under-developed, and feels like a completely different character from his season 1 appearances.

-People realizing that he has not had active development between seasons 1 and 2 and pointing that out is not “media illiteracy”.

-Final side note—I think the “both sides are wrong/fucked up” angle really COULD have worked, if after the bridge where Stolas questions his actions, he acknowledged that HE was also “a motherfucker”. But. Nah. Oh well.

[ryssbelle]

The Brozone Misconception

(This picture is more a joke don't take it too seriously)

This is a kind of long analysis, deep dive, and discussion about certain fandom misconceptions. I am 100 percent open for discussion but I would ask that you read the whole thing first before reaching out, and please be respectful!

A link to the og google doc with images as tumblr image limit killed part of the essay XD

Essay under the cut

There is a common misconception in a small subset of the trolls fandom about the character of Brozone. That is their reaction and treatment of Branch, their overall purpose in the story, and whether or not Branch should have forgiven them. Whether or not their trauma born toxic traits which they aim to grow out of should be forgiven or not.

Let’s begin with an analysis of the beginning, middle, and end of their arc progression more or less.

We start with our favorite problem child, Jonathan Dorian, mounting the pressure of tonight's show, building expectations, and showing us, the audience, a bit of what goes on every time these guys perform: 

Making Bruce do 100 more push ups in the time before showtime (1 minute) 

Pressuring Clay to wear the funderdrawers even tho he clearly doesn’t want to 

Rebuffing floyds attempts to calm himself down

And his worst crime

Making Baby Branch Nervous

Now you could see all of these and think “Evil! Evil John Dory! Jail for John DOry for 1000 years!!” because he is being oh so toxic. Now JD’s main motivation for pushing his brothers so hard in this moment has to do with the “Perfect Family Harmony” which according to baby Branch no one has ever hit before

And you can see the strain it puts on the other brothers not just through the scenes i showed before but Clay literally tells us

John Dory not only sees it as a great achievement, but he is putting his own and his families self worth all on whether or not they accomplish the perfect family harmony

(ignore the crappy cropping image limits)

And when they fail he blames it on them not following his lead 

He still believes after all of that that they can successfully complete the Perfect Family harmony 

This looks to be about the first time the brothers air their grievances out to their older brother about how they actually feel about not only completing the harmony, but the direction of the band itself.

All of this happens within the heat of the moment, and only continues to get worse as when confronted with all of this Negativity JD decides to leave. You can see by his facial expressions in the above screenshots he was already feeling terrible about the situation as a whole. Animation is very show don’t tell just as much as live action is, it’s very important for storytelling as a whole. A character should not have to SAY they are remorseful for you to be able to see it.

So JD leaves leading his other brothers to leave as well. Ironically they are following his lead badum dum dum. 

Now we can assume this is probably par for the course for these guys, cuz Grandma is right there, and she just lets them leave, you say plot convenience I say subtle story telling/ It is implied they do this all the time and will eventually come back. (they don’t)

(Also ignore this image its also a silly and not serious XD)

Now you may be thinking, Ricky, you say that Brozone is not toxic, yet you show us the worst examples of their character. Listen dear reader, this is only the beginning, what I’ve shown you is merely the establishment of the eventual conflict that will be part of the driving force behind character growth and the story itself. 

Let’s move on to adulthood. The main arguments against Brozone happen here, other than the initial abandonment of Branch, which, I should remind you, happened when the oldest among them was still a teenager (teenagers are dumb). 

In this section I also have to mention another movie, and another character, as he is usually brought up in these discussions 

Creek

Creek is usually used as a comparison to the Brozone bros in the argument that Brozone is EVIL AND TOXIC AND UNFORGIVABLE and Creek by comparison should be seen in a better light and not deserve the hate. To be honest I have never seen the level of hate that has been given to Brozone leveled at Creek in the slightest. He is canonically a toxic character, and one who is incredibly self serving which a majority of the fandom recognize and vibe with. Creeks admittedly rancid personality is a massive factor in his appeal (at least for me), and that is kind of the point of his character: To be awful and unforgivable. Creek wasn’t made as your average side character, Creek was specifically made to be an antagonist, to be a contrast to one of our main protagonists, Branch. That is why they are always at odds with each other within both 3D media and 2D media. 

Taken from the trolls wiki

Creek has also shown disregard for Branch’s hobbies in the main show, tossing his puzzle into the fire. This was during Haircuffed, when Creek didn’t want to do Branch’s puzzle

Which you think not so bad, its just a puzzle! Well…

Puzzle’s have incredible significance to Branch, a comfort object if you will, and another way to feel connected to his Grandma. Now you might cry “Creek didn’t know it was significant! He can’t be held responsible for that!” HE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO KNOW THE TRAUMA BEHIND THE PUZZLE TO NOT DESTROY THE PUZZLE.

Conversely let's look at the Brothers:

Throughout the course of the film they are a bit rude to Branch and dismissive of him:

JD:

Bruce:

Clay:

(You could argue the face grabbing is just a troll thing cuz)

But anyway

These scenes are minor things that add up during the course of the film for the purpose of showing off the traits they will put aside and grow out of for the sake of each other.

(brb reading xmen)

Lets talk about Xmen, you think JD is bad well watch this

Bam!

Anyway

Before we tackle the entire argument scene let’s first tackle the individual character of each of the bros, Specifically: John Dory, and Bruce, who are most criticized for their actions.

John Dory is one of the first brothers we see return in the film, and his first and foremost objective is to collect Branch so that they can go get their other brothers to rescue Floyd. Some have called John Dory uncaring for his younger brothers, but if that were the case why start the rescue mission at all? An uncaring brother would just ignore the letter and go on with his life, but John Dory literally drops everything just to go rescue his little brother. The letter even specified getting the other brothers first, but John Dory goes alone to get Floyd out of danger as fast as possible only retrieving the other bros when he fails (and cuz he didnt know where they were, can’t waste time when you got a brother to save)

A brother who didn’t care about his family wouldn’t go through all this effort. Some would say he’s only doing it for appearances sake, but for whom? Him and his brothers have been out of the limelight for 20 years, JD especially has been isolated in the neverglades, who is he trying to impress with this? No one, he’s just a good brother.

Also a reminder! When thinking about breaking Floyd out he is not the first to bring up the harmony! Floyd is, John Dory had a much more clever idea

So it's not just to complete the harmony either.

He’s also held on to all the merch from their Brozone days, mementos of his family, it shows how he cares, but also the flaw he aims to overcome: his desperate attempt to cling to the past, the better days.

Now let's go to Bruce, easily the most scrutinized of the brothers (because of the baby comment) 

When he first sees his brothers again this is his reaction: 

(Another point for JD, got ignored but is more happy to see his bros getting along)

Bruce is excited to introduce them to his family, excited to reconnect.

(Note: At this point tumblr stopped allowing images so i will be giving descriptions along with a link to the original google doc for reference purposes these are screenshots from the movie)

Cut image: Bruce introducing his wife to his brothers "These are my brothers, unexpectedly"

(Still excited and immediately introduces them to his wife despite them being “unexpected”)

Cut Image: Brandy saying "It's so nice to finally meet you"

“It’s so nice to finally meet you” Implies that he’s talked about them at length and the possibility of them meeting up with one another.

Also all of his kids completely ignore their mom, just to ask their father something, or tell on their sibling, or ask for his help as seen in this entire clip

With the ketchup kid he assures his kid he will handle it (and yes Brandy had to handle it but um rescue mission?) and that he loves them he just needs a bit of time to address, um who was it again? His brothers, right…

Bruce is argued as being incredibly selfish, I had seen a meme once that had suggested Bruce would let his own children die before he would give up his own life, which is horrendous and blatantly untrue. Bruce only tries to turn away his brothers when John Dory brings up the perfect family harmony and that’s before he knows it's for Floyd, once he finds out it’s for Floyd he is immediately on board! His biggest concern about the harmony at this time is how they’re going to do it. 

As for “abandoning his family again” Bruce is going on a rescue mission, which he asks his wife before hand if it is alright

Which she approves, he also agrees to cover for a WHOLE MONTH for the yoga retreat (Also seen in the clip above)

He spends the majority of the journey caring for Tiny Diamond as well, he lets Tiny into his hair, carries him around in a baby sling he’s a dad to any kid who needs him.

Clay doesn’t get as much scrutiny as either of the older bros, most likely due to his inability to leave the golf course and the fact he apologizes to Branch at the end. There are many things that mimic the same in the ending scene but let’s address the points brought up within the argument that people use to claim the evilness of Brozone. 

Also fun reminder, Clay is the one to start the fight, Not John Dory, not Bruce, Clay just a fun note (he is a lil problematic and argumentative and thats why i love him)

Clay brings up John Dory being bossy which sets everyone off into a tangent about the past, past actions that they think are resurfacing

Cut image, the beginning of the argument:

Clay: No. No, dude. You’re forcin' us to be perfect, just like you always have, so we can hit the perfect family harmony.

John Dory: Yeah. For Floyd.

Bruce: Is it? Or is this all just so you can tell people what to do again?

John Dory: Wha What?

_

Bruce: This isn’t gonna work if you keep on bein' the same old John Dory.

We all know John Dory’s reason for being “bossy” ; his reason for his perfection, once done out of an effort to impress, is now one out of necessity. They need to be perfect because now someone can die, and the others can’t see that due to their own trauma at the hands of JD’s perfectionism. 

As shown way at the beginning of the essay, all of the brothers suffered at the hands of JD’s past obsession, Bruce had to look a certain way pushing his body past its limits, Clay had to act a certain way disregarding his own happiness to keep up an image, Floyd was ignored and his advice pushed aside, and Branch was pushed to be perfect when he was only about 2 years old (or a month old if you go by the brozone blog). JD also suffered, pushing himself to make song after song, mentally exhausting himself and inadvertently hurting his brothers in the process of doing what he thinks is right for them. 

JD also had the responsibility (as a teen) to parent all of his younger brothers:

Cut Image:

John Dory: Well, I’m not allowed to change. I’m the oldest. I had to be the leader.

John Dory: Why do you think I moved to the middle of nowhere? So I didn’t have to be in charge of anyone. Four little brothers is a lot of responsibility.

You could argue it's his responsibility as the oldest but Grandma was right there, they shouldn’t be his sole responsibility. 

When most of them left it was done out of self preservation, to protect their sanity and to finally find happiness outside of a place that was no longer bringing it to them. They were kind of acting how most would want Branch to act, they cut out the toxic family for their own safety. 

Bruce:

Cut image:

Bruce: [stammers] Why do you think I left? So no one would treat me like you did.

Clay: 

Cut Image:

Clay: I’m gonna find trolls who take me seriously. Next to Clay is a picture of himself in a graduation cap

(Also that is Clays graduation photo, they are all around teen years in  the prologue which means this is either a middle school graduation photo or he graduated early and is still not taken seriously, which as someone who also faces that [only being seen one way despite your achievements] is incredibly discouraging and soul destroying) 

They most likely didn’t return due to the fact they didn’t want to be faced with this kind of treatment again (golf course entrapment aside) 

(Now you’re probably wondering about Floyd and he’s a whole other post, this is mostly focusing on the brothers who receive the most criticism due to misrepresentation)

During the argument they talk about going their separate ways, it is admittedly harsh they way they talk about leaving again, but they never say they’re leaving forever. Bruce has to return to his wife and kids, Clay left the golf course without one of its leaders, JD has his own life and routine, of course they’d go back to it once it was over, but that doesn’t mean visiting is off the table, and that they’d never see each other again. 

Cut Image: John Dory: What? The mission’s the mission. [chuckles] You didn’t think we’d all live together when this was all over, did you? Singin' songs and roastin' marshmallows?

Again i recognize JD is being an asshole here, but he is only knocking the idea of living together off the table, which kind of understandable they’re all adults with their own lives they don’t need to live together, I don’t get mad at my sister for going back to her house when shes done visiting. But again it is more how they say it then what they’re saying

Cut Image:

Branch: [scoffs] Oh, I’m sorry. Is that funny to you? That I might want us to actually be a family again? Tiny Diamond, pull over. Now.

Seen is JD's look of regret

You can see on his face that he regrets what he said when Branch says this, when he gets angry at him, he didn’t mean it like that. Thats when the don’t be a baby comment comes in, they still don’t actually understand why he’s upset, they think he’s acting childish, they don’t recognize he’s changed yet

Cut Image: The bros reaction upon hearing of grandmas death

These are their faces when they hear what Branch has been through, they obviously are upset, they’re hurt on his behalf, they are remorseful, this and their future actions signify the shift from who they were (hurt kids turned hurt adults, fighting over their past trauma) 

After Branch leaves, they, on their own accord, continue the mission to save Floyd, which is how they get caught, and during the final climax control freak JD relinquishes control, having changed and lets Branch take the lead. This is after Branch reminds them they don’t have to be perfect to be in harmony, just to be as they are together which they AGREE

Cut Image:

JD: We'll follow your lead, Branch

Once they save Floyd we are brought to Bruce’s restaurant, he brings them there to host their reunion, there is where branch gets encouragement from JD, where Clay apologizes, where Floyd reminisces and you can see JD engaging with his brothers more than just encouraging Branch he has joined Clays sad book club

Cut Image: JD reading a sad book behind Branch and Clay talking about said book club

This isn’t the end of their reconnection, this is only the beginning. They still have lots of time to grow, and to become closer as family. 

Now lets head back to Creek for a moment before we close this off:

We have brought up the puzzle destruction and his purpose as an antagonist. The main argument most people use is that Creek had no other choice but to sell out his entire race to be eaten and killed to save himself. He had a choice, Branch would’ve let himself get eaten if it meant protecting all of troll village as noticed when he protects poppy in twt (though he might’ve actually found another way out), Poppy would’ve as well. In tbt Floyd begs each of his brothers who meets him before the climax to let him die so they don’t face the same fate, these are all selfless acts. Creek reacts selfishly, eat everyone else but don’t eat me, then he smugly confronts Poppy, obnoxiously laments about how he has to live with his actions when if he were a truly good and selfless character wouldn't have been an issue. He smiles smugly, shrugs his shoulders, and lets himself be carried to safety when his people look at his betrayal with disbelief and sadness. 

Creeks actions in the 1st movie are awful, they’re supposed to be, they’re meant to be unforgivable crimes, and that is why he is killed in the 3D canon, legit he is dead in the 3D canon. 2D and 3D are different continuities, which is part of why I find them (Brozone and Creek) to be mostly incomparable.

Brozone’s arc only affects Branch and each other and in the end they grow stronger, and into better people. Creeks arc/actions affect an entire species and their survival, within the 2D continuity his actions only continue to be self serving, and rather toxic (more for funsies but you know) he should not have been forgiven, but he was. His actions were deplorable yet forgiven which then begs the question why aren’t Brozones? Creek also wrote the apology song solely to humiliate Branch in front of his friends which is not cool bro, Branch did not deserve the treatment he got in the episode from anyone. 

To conclude my thoughts are that Creek and Brozones actions are incomparable, Creek’s actions are not meant to be taken in a positive or sympathetic light, he is a villain cut and dry, that is who he was made to be and he does it wonderfully. I don’t hate Creek, I love his character, he is awful and that is great! Love toxic awful characters! Brozone are a representation of a broken family coming together again, they are toxic, and then they grow, they are meant to do so, the villains of that movie are Velvet, Veneer, and familial trauma all of which get mended by the end of the film. It’s not perfect but its there, and the ignorance of it is what causes these major misconceptions. 

TL;DR Learn media literacy please

[malakaie]

had some feelings to write out – for/about @tommyend, no pressure at all to respond

I started watching wrestling – specifically, AEW – in late October 2023. It’s been just over a year since I started watching, and I didn’t expect it to consume as much of my brain-space as it has. When I started watching, I didn’t really know who anyone was. I had heard a few names – Randy Orton, CM Punk, Jade Cargill, Roman Reigns – but had no real concept of the landscape I was entering or what it would mean to get invested.

Truthfully, it was a little overwhelming, and there was more I didn’t understand than I did. In those first few weeks, I received one very helpful piece of advice: don’t try to understand everything. Find a wrestler or two whose vibe you like and stick with them – the rest will click into place eventually, or it won’t, and either way is fine.

And so I did. I think it was around the lead-up to Full Gear 2023 that I started really paying attention. There was something about what House of Black was doing that was different from anything else I was seeing. I could understand just enough to recognise talented athletes when I saw them, but I wasn’t quite plugged in enough to the overall wrestling “ecosystem” that that was enough on its own to get my attention. Now that I understand more of what I’m looking at, it’s easier to understand what I’m meant to be impressed by – it’s easier now to have that moment of, holy shit, how did they do that?

But I didn’t understand yet. I’d been watching wrestling for about a month and was still finding my footing. What I saw, and latched onto, in House of Black was a group of four impressive performers that I could tell were in love with the art of what they were doing. Everything was done with intent – the way they entered the ring, the different but cohesive styles with which each member of the House wrestled, the gear they wore, the ever-evolving paint on Malakai’s face, the evolution and growth of Julia’s character.

It was both the moment that I finally, properly understood that professional wrestling was also theatre—and, I think, the moment that I was magnetised. It felt like a faction that was made for me: a band of storytellers who wanted to take my hand and show me what wrestling could be and was and is, and had the creativity and cohesiveness and physical talent to pull it off.

I could breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn’t lost anymore, desperately trying to catch up to understanding something that everyone around me already seemed to know. I had a guide of some sort, and one that resonated: I’ve been reading since I was 3, writing stories since I was 11, have always been a little “strange,” drawn to creative types and niche hobbies and other people that don’t have many friends. And here was someone who not only felt like me, sounded like me, but was wanted and loved and succeeding. A stranger to me, in the way that performers and public figures always are, but I felt like it was going to be okay. If Malakai could make it—though I didn’t and don’t know him personally, I had no way of knowing if he was ever afraid, or if he doubted himself—then maybe I could, too.

The more I watched and the more I learned, the more true that became. I’ve been depressed and anxious most of my adult life. I have scoliosis that is likely to get worse as I get older, and causes me pain multiple times a week, if not every day. Hearing someone whose work I admired be open about his mental health—especially when sports industries have typically not been kind to people, perhaps especially men, who are vulnerable in that way—and be honest when he’s in pain shook something loose in me that I hadn’t quite realised was stuck and frozen in shame. It’s okay that I’m afraid. It’s okay that I have days where my brain is trying to consume itself. It’s okay that I’m in pain. Did I get out of bed today? Have I been outside? Have I eaten? Have I done something to be kind to myself—or, failing that, kind to someone else? Have I done something creative today?

I started my “gender journey,” for lack of a better phrase, in 2018. There was a lot, a lot, of messing around with pronouns, labels. I didn’t know what I was, only that “just a girl” didn’t feel quite right anymore. And then I felt like I was lying, because, well—I was fine being a girl when I was ten, and thirteen, and sixteen, so why was it suddenly different at 25? Sometimes I still feel like I’m lying. The generation above me often still holds an image of trans people that requires them to have always been miserable, always been “pretending.” A few months ago my mother suggested it was fine if my idea of being feminine had expanded, but she didn’t really believe I was trans, because I’d never been unhappy as a girl child, and besides that I looked like a “clone” of the small handful of other transmasc and nonbinary people she’s met. I must be a pod person. (Newsflash, mom: This is just what queer people look like, a lot of the time. I cut and dyed my hair and got one singular tattoo. How terrible.)

She didn’t ask me how I feel when people call me she, or her—it makes me feel horribly small and unreal, by now—and in fairness to her, I didn’t quite defend myself either. I cringed and shrunk and asked for time to think about it, when what I wanted to say is yes, I know I haven’t had the history you expect to see from me, but this is who I am, and I’m not telling you that I was never a girl. I’m telling you that girl isn’t the place where I stop.

But I was scared, and I felt cornered, and I didn’t say any of that.

What I did have, though, was an artist and a performer and a storyteller who did things with his expression, his clothing, how he presented himself to the world that was like a lightbulb going on. The confidence of a man who told stories with the way that he looked, and who used feminine symbols to do it. He wasn’t any less masculine—but it was an embracing of both that cemented who he was, and I thought: holy shit. I can do that. Our identities are not the same, and I’m not too keen on speculating about the identities of public figures that I don’t know in any event—but it’s reassuring, motivating even, to be able to regularly see someone comfortably expressing his gender (because, yes, cis presentation is gender expression too) in a way that makes sense to him and incorporates the feminine and resonates through his art without doubt or reservation or compromise. This is who we are. Take it or leave it.

I don’t know what’s coming next for any of us. AEW looks like such a different place—in a good way—from when I started watching, and the world is looking pretty scary these days, but I’m still here. The art that got me interested in wrestling in the first place is still here, and I have my theories—unsubstantiated, so far—about where Malakai and House of Black are taking their story, but regardless of theories I’ve been so fortunate to watch them continue to grow and evolve over the past year. There’s a lot I don’t know, but I know the love for the story and the art is real.

I don’t know you personally, Malakai, and I don’t want to claim to, no matter how many scraps I’ve gathered together from interviews and how much of the backlog of matches I’ve done my best to watch so I can understand where you’ve come from and where you’re going next. But your work and your love for your craft has moved me, and I’m glad I stayed alive when it was hard so I could be around to see it when it mattered.

[neobubz]

Hunter (M) - Prey Sequel

this is the sequel to my story prey (m) if you haven’t read that please stop and go read that one first before continuing. for those who have, thanks for taking a look at the sequel! i truly hope you enjoy this wicked little story. this is of course like the other one going to jump back and forth between time frames so please be aware of that. once again, i hope you enjoy and i hope to see you in my future stories 💜

Word Count: approx. 26.7k

Paining: fem reader x jaemin feat. jeno and haechan

Warning(s): time jumping (past and present will be divided by a header don’t worry), mature audiences only, explicit language, crime drama, crime solving, psychological thriller, house fire, very slow burn, storytelling, m*rder, spouts of anger (ch*king), sex, smut, abusive relationship, a long ass story ^^

Disclaimer: though it doesn't need to be said, this is just a story. i do not know any of the parties involved, don't take this sh*t seriously. also, as i am not one familiar with crime/court proceedings/durations of time involving solving a crime/police business some of this information (if this is your job) will be wrong. i tried my best with the dozens of crime dramas i watch XP

Preview:

“Depends on what you tell me here.”

“Do they really think that I would do something as deliberate as to set my home on fire with my child and I barely escaping it unscathed?! What kind of lunacy are they snorting down at your precinct?!”

“I know you would do anything to protect your kid. We all know that but my boss doesn't. So I need you to tell me EVERYTHING. The events leading up to the fire and what happened afterwards. I need to know it all and DO NOT leave anything out.”

Gulping your head slowly turns to Haechan. “Exactly how much of everything do you need to know?”

Holding up his work phone he shows you the voice recording app. Turning your head away he says, “everything.” 

ⓗ ⓤ ⓝ ⓣ ⓔ ⓡ

Staring blankly ahead of you not even bothered by the flashing red and blue lights you watch as men and women bolt towards a fiery beast. This couldn’t be…this wasn’t supposed to happen. And yet it was…

One by one they line up and spray water on this creature trying to tame it — an opening is created and another group rushes inside their silhouettes getting lost in the smoke that pours out of every opening. They were looking for any survivors, or rather one survivor.

Glued tightly in your arms your sons’ whales bring you back to him. Your white button down shirt soaked through from his tears. Wrapping him tighter in your arms you shield him away from the unfortunate event befalling your family. His face buried in your chest he repeats ‘mommy…mommy…mommy…’

If it wasn’t from the shock of everything you  know tears would cascade down your cheeks uncontrollably as are his. Nothing went the way it should have today... There shouldn't have been an accident … this wasn’t supposed to happen… 

The brave souls who tried to tame the beast run away coughing and falling to the ground. Their teammates rush to pull them away before they’re snatched by the beasts’ flames. Inside was far too hot for anyone to withstand for long periods of time. A man giving orders tries to get his team to spray water straight ahead to allow yet another team to enter, but just as a new round of men and women prepare to go inside another massive explosion sends those closest flying back and all others to duck.

Your sons’ cries become louder. Turning away tears finally fall onto the top of your son's head. Your home, the place you’ve lived together with your child for the past seven years, gone. All the memories of his first moments…destroyed. 

“Ma’am… Ma’am!!!” A voice says next to you. “MA’AM!!!!!” They scream startling you. A woman dressed in a paramedics uniform holds her hands out in front of you. “Ma’am, I’m sorry that I startled you but I need to check you and your son for injuries.” She says calmly.

“W-We-We’re fine…” you say but your voice cracks.

“I need to make sure, please,” she gestures to an ambulance that sits a few feet away from where you’re standing.

Looking down at your son, you see a few scratches on his cheek. “O-Okay…”

Leading you away from the firefighters who are desperately trying to get the raging fire under control, you and your son are placed inside the ambulance while two paramedics look both of you over for any type of injury. Your mind drifts away from what the female paramedic is doing, eyes laser focused on the entrance to your home. Your jaw tightens as bile threatens to erupt from within you. You jackass…why did you let this happen?!

“Ma’am,” the female paramedic calls you to attention. “You have a pretty nasty burn on your arm. I don’t think it’s severe but you should still get it looked at.”

Glancing down at your fiery skin you turn to where your son is being fully examined inside of the ambulance. “And my son?” 

“He’s alright ma’am,” the other paramedic smiles happily. “Isn’t that right buddy?” He asks your son who doesn’t speak.

“I’m sorry,” your voice comes out weak and tired. “He’s a little shy around strangers.”

“There’s no need to apologize. What the two of you went through – ” the male paramedic stops speaking, his head lowering to the floor of the ambulance.

“My daddy…Where’s my daddy?”

You freeze at the word daddy. Turning to the paramedics they both give each other unreadable looks.

“Ummm, we’ll go and find out right now. Don’t worry little man,” the male paramedic says before hoping out of the ambulance. “We’ll be right back.” He nods down at you.

Watching them like a hawk they walk over to who you assume is the fire chief. He at first waves them off aggressively. His eyes cold as ice. He appeared to not want to be bothered as he focuses on keeping his team safe. The paramedics, however, don’t leave. Instead the male paramedic steps forward whispering something in the fire chiefs’ ears. Immediately, his head turns to you. The coldness in his eyes vanishes the moment his fall to yours. Instead his eyes show sadness or pity — you can’t quite tell at this distance. Turning back rather rigidly he says something before waving the paramedics off. Moments later both of the paramedics start their trek back to you and your son, but as they get closer there is an eeriness surrounding them.

“The fire chief said he’ll be over to talk to you personally in just a minute. They’re still trying to get everything under control. Also, there were a few firefighters inside when the explosion happened so —” the female paramedic starts. 

“Th-There are people inside?!” You interject. 

“Don’t worry ma’am, he said that they are the best of the best. They’re okay and looking for a safe way out. So it’s best to focus on yourself and your son right now, okay?”

“When will they get out? They need to get out before another explosion happens! Good lord!!!” You start crying uncontrollably. “How in the world did this happen?”

“Mom…my…” your son whispers beside you before clambering in your arms again, “don’t worry… daddy will be okay…” he tries to soothe you but your tears come out faster than before.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Standing before you gleaming from ear to ear is the man who has single-handedly fucked up your entire world. His brown hair slicked back, eyes sparkling with promise and unfortunately, admiration – he wears a black suit jacket, white button shirt, black tie and black trousers. You, a white wedding dress…

How did this happen? How could your life get twist turned upside down like this? Just a year ago you were in your own apartment climbing up the corporate ladder and now you’re about to get…

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” The judge asks you.

Lawfully, the small sliver of who you once were snickers at the word. If only the judge before you knew what hell you’ve been through. If she knew what this piece of shit did she would arrest him on the spot and open up a whole investigation! 

Taking in a deep inhale, you close your eyes savoring the last moments of your freedom.

If only she knew… if only you could tell her, to give her a hint that the union she was about to officiate is a fraud, but you can’t…

Gripping your hands tightly the man you’re supposed to be in love with smiles his repulsive cheshire-like smile as he awaits to hear those faithful words ‘I do.’ Exhaling once more you do what’s best for you and your child that is currently kicking up a storm inside of you. Either telling you to marry the ass hat in front of you or trying to knock some sense into you and blurt out what you desperately want to say to everyone around. 

“I do.” You speak but your voice is broken and flat. 

You fall prey to the pressure of what would happen if you did reveal everything. The twisted web of lies this snake may whisper to others — it was too much of a risk. You can’t risk anything, not in your current state. 

“Well, if there are no objections,” the judge pauses for a second.

Objections? Why would there be any objections? This fox waited for the perfect opportunity to have this sham of a wedding. Your parents who are currently in a luxurious cabin in their mountain getaway for the next four days – that was so lovingly paid for by the demon in front of you. This little trip is sadly your own dumbass fault. You foolishly let it slip one night that your parents like to travel and remember why they decided to spend the rest of their lives together – away from you, away from distractions, where they can be with each other and remember all the years filled with memories. And of course, the devil used this information against you…

“No objections here!” Your mom shouts a glass of wine in hand via zoom call.

Glancing to the people around you, a group of men whom you’ve never seen before, your actual witnesses to this horrible union — all eyes are bright and happy for the two of you, all except one. Their eyes pierce through your soul as if they can read every thought, every movement of your body. Quickly, before he notices something he shouldn’t, you avert your eyes and focus instead on the hem of your dress as the judge looks around and gives everyone a chance to speak up.

“Well, if there are no objections, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!”

As if you were in some twisted romance movie, Jaemin eagerly leans in. His hands cupping your cheeks ever so gently, he places his lips against yours. His lips are glossy and soft while your painted red lips are stiff as a board. Like hell you were going to kiss him! You played your part. You weren’t going to give him anything more than the bare minimum. But that didn’t stop him at all. His one hand, closest to the judge, drops to your waist as he pulls you to him. The room erupts with cheers and applause from his guests and your parents. Tears prickle at your waterline, the last hope of freedom leaving you as your tears fall to the floor. 

“Congratulations!” Your parents shout.

Putting on your mask you smile gleefully at the screen. “Thank you mom and dad,” your lips quiver for a second. “S-Sorry you couldn’t be here.”

“We are too!” Your mom wipes her eyes. “We need to get together the moment we’re back in town.”

“Of course! A celebratory dinner,” Jaemin wraps his arm around your waist. “Plus, I know my beloved wife will want to talk to her mom about the nursery.”

“Ahhh!!! I can’t wait to get back! We’ll go shopping and help you two set everything up, won’t we honey?” She turns to your dad.

“Of course! Cheers my boy! May nothing but blessings fall upon you both.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Your parents end the zoom call by stating they’ll call later but to enjoy the rest of the day and have fun. As your parents say their goodbyes, Jaemin's guests swarm the two of you. 

“Dude! You did it!”

“Didn’t think you’d be the one to marry first but congrats!” 

“How does your mom feel about this one?” Another glances at you. “On second thought, fuck’em, you’re gorgeous!” He swoops down giving you a hug. “Welcome to the family!” 

“Hey! Hands off my wife,” Jaemin jokes.

“Hands off his wife and future baby,” a soft voice catches your attention. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Jeno.”

“Baby!” Jaemin wraps his arm around Jeno’s shoulders, a huge smile on his face, the same smile that captivated you when you first saw it. “This is my best friend, Jeno! Jeno, this is my beautiful wife! Told you she was gorgeous!”

Nodding and smiling Jeno keeps his lips pressed together tightly before speaking. “You did, you did.”

“Come on! We need to celebrate!” Getting behind you a shorter and rather petite young man smiles sweetly. “I’m Renjun, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Now, I know this is going to seem weird but I need to put this blindfold on you.”

“N-No!!!” You squeak and try to move away but strong arms keep you from going anywhere.

“It’s okay.” Jeno chuckles. “Just a small, very small party we put together to surprise you guys. I promise nothing will happen. See,” he gestures with his chin towards Jaemin who is already blindfolded. “Everything’s fine. I promise.”

As you look into Jeno’s eyes your rapidly beating heart starts to calm down. There’s something about his gaze that makes it seem like it’s okay to believe him. That it’s okay to put your faith and trust in him. Then again, you fell for that trap before too.

“I can put it on myself.” You state bluntly.

“Independent woman, I like her already. Hey toots! The names Haechan! How this guy ended up with a beauty like you is beyond me, but once you’re done with him come and find me!” He winks.

“Really, Haechan? They just got married!” Shoving him aside a rather nervous yet charming man reaches out his hand. “I’m Mark.”

Shaking his hand you then slide the blindfold over your eyes. Hands grip your shoulders as a soft and soothing voice fills your head. 

“The rest of the introductions will have to wait, but if you’ll just keep your hand in mine I’ll safely lead you out to the car.” Jeno whispers. 

“Why exactly do we need the blindfolds again? Isn’t the party at our house?” Jaemin chuckles.

“Who said it was at your house?” Haechan’s voice booms next to you. “Renjun, Mark, get Chatty Cathy out of here. Jeno and I will handle his beloved bride.”

“Princess!!! Don’t worry you’re in safe hands!” Jaemin shouts his voice getting farther away as he continues to speak. “Haechan don’t you dare touch her or this nice judge will have to charge me for murder!”

Giggling behind you the judge speaks up. “Have a wonderful day you two and congratulations!!! But please, no murdering anyone!!!!”

Strong hands intertwine with yours, their hand warm and comforting. “Okay, start walking forward.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Through a crowd of first responders you hear your name. Turning to the voice you see Jeno thrashing his way through trying to get to you and your son.

"Jeno..." you whisper. "JE-JENO!!!!" You scream for him to find where you are.

“Will you move?!" He shouts at a few firefighters. "I know the people of this home! Move!!!" With one final shove he bursts through the barricade they tried to make and sprints to you. Engulfing you in his arms he holds you tightly. “Are you okay? When I saw the news I came right away.” Pulling back just enough to inspect you, he cups your face in his hands. “What the hell happened? Did you get hurt? What did they say?" He checks your face for any injuries.

"Jeno,” you start sniffling. “I don’t… I don’t know what happened. It just…it just…”

Pulling you back to him he holds you in his arms. “Don’t worry, everything's going to be okay now. Is everyone safe?” 

Nodding you step aside so he has a view of his nephew who is still sitting inside of the ambulance. “Little man!"  He shouts, grabbing your sons’ attention. 

“Uncle Jeno,” he starts to cry again. 

“Hey Buddy!” He scoops him up into his arms. Your son’s tears keep pouring down his cheeks just as yours start up again. “There…there…everything's going to be okay."

"Da-Daddy..." he mumbles through his tears. "Daddy was..." he cries more.

Turning slowly to you Jeno’s eyes widen with shock. "Where is Jaemin?"

Covering your mouth you shake your head. "He-He...He…” you can’t bring yourself to utter the words. 

Everything happened so fast. One second the three of you were in the kitchen the next you’re outside with your son taking cover before the house went up in flames. It just doesn’t make any sense…

“Where…is Jaemin?” Jeno asks again.

“He was still inside when the house went up in flames,” you start choking on your tears.

"Mommy got hurt," your son points to your arm. "She saved me!"

Staring down at your arm, Jeno’s grip on your son tightens. "Of course she would," he smiles at him. "She would do anything to make sure you're safe."

"Is that so?" A gruff voice pulls everyone’s attention. "Would you do anything?"

Immediately getting in front of you, Jeno blocks you from this stranger's view. "Who are you?!" He demands.

"I believe I'm the one who should be asking all the questions. I'm the one who will be overseeing this investigation."

"Investigation..." Jeno mumbles. "Wait, this is just a house fire, shouldn't the fire chief be in charge?"

"It would have just been a house fire but now we're investigating a possible homicide."

"HOMICIDE?!" You and Jeno shout.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Your hand grazes over the pictures that were taken from your wedding reception. The smiling faces of Jaemin's friends who have strangely become quite important people in your life since that day. Renjun and Haechan bickering after Haechan shoved some of your wedding cake on his face. A slight smile tugs at the corner of your mouth at the hilarious memory. Those two are like Tom and Jerry, constantly doing things to piss the other off but at the end of the day would feel incomplete if the other weren’t around. 

Then, there is Mark, Chenle, and Jisung smiling sweetly for the camera, but the best part of the picture are Chenle's fingers behind Mark and Jisung's heads while he smiles extra bright for the picture. The little sneak thinking that he would get away with giving them bunny ears – he would have too if Jaemin hadn’t sent everyone copies of the pictures. 

When the guys came over for a meal that’s when the arguing began between those three ensued, thank goodness when you brought out the food they forgot what they were fighting about — making the rest of the evening quite pleasant. 

Finally, your hand stops at a picture of yourself, Jaemin and Jeno. This one being your husband's favorite picture… You can hear his voice ringing in your ears when he printed out the picture,

'My two favorite people in the world... We should frame this one, don't you think?'

After the fake wedding and reception and when all his friends left to go back to their homes the mask you were wearing shattered. You didn’t have to pretend anymore to be happy about what was supposed to be the best day of your life. You could let your sorrow show and make sure the man that has single handedly ruined your life know exactly how you felt. Which meant going back to avoiding him every chance you got. There was no talking, no listening, and no doing anything that he requested you to do. The only thing you did was sit on the window seat staring out at the world that is no longer your oyster. This wasn't a marriage, this was a life sentence.

Slamming the album closed you place it back on the bookshelf next to all the other fake memories he's created to fit his twisted fantasy. The only memories that are real are the moments with your son. Everything surrounding the child you fortunately, yet unfortunately share with him are the realist moments between the two of you.

Opening up the album specified for your first pregnancy, you stare at a picture of the two of you from your first doctor's appointment, the memory playing out in front of you as if you were watching a movie. Jaemin couldn’t stop fidgeting despite the fact he knew you were pregnant before the doctor confirmed it. Whether his fidgety behavior was due to the anticipation of you blurting out that you’re being held against your will, or because he was truly excited to hear if your symptoms were in fact true that the two of you would become parents — you still don’t know to this day, but shockingly his behavior must have been normal for first time dad’s because it sure didn’t flag as unusual to the doctor or nurse. 

Turning the page you push down the memory of wanting to shout to the doctor, to the people in the waiting room that you were a victim of the man sitting next to you. Deep down you were desperately screaming for help, for someone to call the cops but from the moment he approached you at the last gate and told you that you were pregnant you lost the will to fight. The only will you have left in you is to make sure that your son has a happy life and knows NOTHING of what befell you. 

Looking down at the next picture you gently giggle at your first ultrasound photo. That day Jaemin said your son looked like a little lima bean. Strangely, it was a sweet moment. His eyes were glued to the monitor as a trickle of sweat dripped down the side of his face. He was always nervous when it came to your checkups. It was as if he was waiting for someone to pull the rug from underneath him. But the moment the nurse found the tiny little bean shaped baby growing inside of you, his shoulders slumped down and his body relaxed. 

He earnestly asked if you guys can have a photo and turned to you smiling brightly. As if this picture would cure all diseases, as if the child inside of you would solve all the world’s problems — he grabbed your hand gently, pulling it up to his lips where he gave your knuckles a kiss.

‘Thank you.’ He whispered. 

‘For what?’ You asked. 

‘Thank you for making me a father. I swear I will do everything in my power to ensure that you and our baby are safe. I promise.’ 

And you knew he meant every word…

After your son’s first ultrasound there are plenty of photos of your growing belly. Jaemin becoming quite thrilled watching the growth of you and your son. At first it was a little weird to you. You didn’t like seeing how big your stomach was getting and the small stretch marks that started to appear, despite rubbing cocoa butter on your stomach every day. But Jaemin being Jaemin reassured you every day…

‘Princess, you’re not fat, okay? You look amazing!’ He says holding up the camera. 

‘I told you I don’t want to take any more pictures.’

‘Don’t you want our son to see these when he’s older? To know that he has the best mother in the world?! To know that she took the best care of herself as well as him?’

‘Yeah, like a picture is going to show all of that,’ you roll your eyes. 

‘Please, just one more?’

‘Fine. Take it.’

In hindsight these pictures are some of the ones you treasure the most. Knowing the best gift you could ever receive in your life was with you – growing with you day by day, both of you getting stronger helped to heal some of the wounds you’ve suffered. 

But nothing will ever top the moment that both Jaemin and yourself saw your son’s face for the first time with the three-dimensional imaging. This was the moment where you knew everything was real! That this was happening! That you were about to be a mom! And Jaemin's words after seeing your son's face for the first time darn near broke you...

'You did it,' he whispers next to you. 'Look at him... he's gorgeous... great job, mom.'

Those words of validation for some strange reason had your heart and mind playing games with you. The Jaemin you first met was in that room with you, looking at the beautiful life you both created, together. His eyes glistening with tears despite his lips trying to hold back the proudest smile the world has ever seen. At that moment, you had the Na Jaemin back...

But those moments didn't last. The moment you left your appointment realization came crashing down. This isn't real. These moments are fabricated to fit one person's psychotic fantasy. Even the child that grows within you was not created out of love, but out of survival. Those weeks where you submitted to him while you painstakingly planned your escape, only for this gift and curse to keep you tethered to him.

"You know it doesn't have to be this way, right?" An all too familiar voice whispers behind you. "We can make this work between us. For the baby at the very least," his arms wrap around your waist pulling you to his chest. 

The numbing sensation you’ve grown accustomed to starts to slither up your body. It starts from your toes to your ankles, sinking deeper and deeper into your flesh. These past couple of months since the wedding you’ve learned a new skill — how to completely shut down any and all feelings. Letting whoever has control do whatever they please. 

"I've asked for your forgiveness so many times. I've been on my hands and knees for you. I've bowed my head on the ground before you. Yet you haven't forgiven me..."

But just like the venomous beast he is, Jaemin finds a crack in this new skill of yours. Bursting through like a bull he shatters everything before facing the one emotion that is always below the surface, rage. 

"Do you really think you deserve forgiveness, Jaemin? What if the roles were reversed? What if I bowed my head to you? If I begged and pleaded for you to forgive me after kidnapping you and gas lighting everyone in your life for my own fucked up fantasy, would you forgive me? Would you forgive me if I had forcefully rode your dick to kingdom come until I ended up pregnant further linking us together? Knowing full well no matter where you go in this world there will always be a part of me attached to you!! Would you still forgive me?!" You shout, your eyes and fists clenching.

Squeezing you tighter in his embrace, his forehead falls to the top of your head. "No.” He whispers. 

Startled, your body freezes up. Did he… wait, he didn’t just say, “no?” You ask.

“No. I wouldn’t be able to forgive you. I’m not going to pretend that I would. I won’t and I can’t lie to you like that. What I did was,” he pauses sighing, once again his arms wrapping tighter around you. “Is, wrong. The past few months since you’ve started to ignore my existence I’ve done a lot of thinking.

“I was scared that you were going to leave me. I was scared that the one source of happiness I found on this earth was going to disappear. Logically, I know if it was meant to be we could have made it work, but I had never fallen so fast and hard for someone in my life. In fact, I’ve tried to avoid falling in love completely.

“I can say that it was because of my parents, I can say that it’s because of crappy exes who didn’t care about me but about the money my family has, but that’s not the complete truth. When I lost my grandmother a piece of me broke that day. She was the only person who saw me. She was the only person to look me in my eyes and see Jaemin, not Na Jaemin, the son of a multimillionaire, the one to take over the company one day.

“She just saw me, her grandson. When you came into my life and we started talking, it was like I was seen,” he sniffles. “Someone was finally looking at me for me.”

“And you’re telling me your friends don’t see you for you?”

“They see me as the kid who’s from a rich family. Plus, it’s not like they aren’t from well off families either.”

“You’ve doubted their loyalty?”

“Never.”

“Then you trust them and accept that they see you for you.”

“Only one person.”

“Jeno?” You inquire.

Nodding he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, his arms loosening for his hands to rest on your round belly. “Please…tell me what I can do. Tell me what I can do to start over. To show you the kind of man I truly am…please..."

"Confess."

His body stiffens behind you. His heart pounding against your back. Closing your eyes you wait for any type of reaction from him. Whether it be anger, tears, or worse…

“Confess?” He asks, but his voice sounds distant.

“Yes. Confess all of your crimes towards me.”

Instead of answering you, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him. His breath hot on your neck, you pray that he won’t do anything drastic. “I…I need help…” He chokes back a few tears. “Please, I need help… don’t make me… I’m sorry…”

“You need more than help, Jaemin. You kidnapped me, locked me in that room, and had me play that fucked up game for lord knows how long! You need to pay for your crimes!”

Jaemin buries his face into the crook of your neck. “Aren’t I paying for them already? You don’t talk to me. You won’t even look at me! You barely let me touch you. The only time you show an ounce of your true self is when we’re at your doctor's appointments. That’s it…”

“And how exactly am I supposed to act? Do you want me to put on a mask and pretend like I’m happy that my life was uprooted? That I barely get to see my family, oh, and the only time I do is when I’m around you? Come on, Jaemin…”

“Fine…” he sniffs and tears himself away from you. “Just… just let me at least be here when the baby is born, okay? After that…” he takes a deep yet shaky inhale. “I’ll confess to everything, okay? I’ll turn myself in.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“There we go, all better!” The nurse says as she finishes bandaging your right forearm. “Now, you’re going to need to avoid getting your arm wet for a while until it heals properly,” she starts.

“How long exactly?” You inquire.

“Well we’ll schedule you for an appointment in about a week at the wound center. There is a hospital across the river that specializes in the treatment of wounds and Dr. Andrews, the one who came in and initially inspected your arm,” you nod. “Well, he’s the head doctor there so he will be checking on your healing progress. He said that you’re very lucky and it’s not a serious burn, but to be safe for the next seven days if you can avoid getting water on your arm it would be for the best.”

“Wh-What about bathing? And my son, I need to give him baths!”

“I wouldn’t mind volunteering,” a snarky voice startles both you and the nurse. “That is if you don’t mind disrobing in front of me.”

Exhaling deeply you let out a loud groan. “What are you doing here, Haechan?”

“Jeno called us,” he steps forward. “Now, now, don’t look so miserable. You’ll break my heart.”

“He called you and you decided to sprint over here? How nice of you.” You spat.

“Look, I was just joking about the bathing thing. My sister can help you with that if you want,” he shoves his hands in his pocket shrugging. “As for the little guy, aren’t you staying with Jeno?”

“Yes…”

“Well, there you go. Plus, the little dude is like what 10? He can handle a bath by himself.”

“He’s six and a half,” you growl. 

“Easy now,” he smirks. “I was just playing.”

The nurse's eyes bounce between you and Haechan confused. “Exactly who are you, sir?”

“I’m the guy who’s going to be interviewing her for the homicide of Na Jaemin.” 

“WHAT?!” You scream. 

“Shit woman! Do you have to make my ears bleed?”

“I swear!” You look at the nurse. “I swear I didn’t do anything! Haechan! You jackass! What the hell is going on?!”

“Look,” he holds up hands trying to calm you down. “We both know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Jaemin, especially not with your son around. The problem is that they found a body in YOUR home where there was a fire and Jaemin is nowhere to be seen. I’m not sure about the condition of the body but it’s already on its way to the coroners. 

“To be frank I shouldn’t even be on this case since I know you, but I can’t let this go to anyone else. Jaemin was my friend and when he married you, you became family to me. Until everything is resolved I’m going to make sure you and your son are safe. So just relax, okay? Tonight I’ll come over and explain everything that’s going to happen to you and Jeno. Call it a courtesy visit because we’re friends.”

“Haechan,” tears form at your waterline. “Please, you have to help me… I didn’t do anything! I swear! I could nev —”

He hushes you with his pointer finger against your lips. “I know and I hate knowing that right now you’re the prime and only suspect.”

“But I…”

“Ma’am, if this is your friend I’m sure he’ll do all that he can to help you. And if you said you had nothing to do with this incident you’ll be fine. The most important thing to focus on right now is healing so you can take care of your son.” The nurse rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“She’s right. It’ll be fine and I promise I will find out what happened to Jaemin.”

“Thank you, Haechan…”

“Of course.” His attention goes from you to the nurse, a somber look deep in his eyes. “So, is she able to answer a few questions now?”

“I don’t see why not, but please nothing too stressful. Ever since you showed up her heart rate has acted up,” the nurse teases. 

“I always knew you were into me,” he wiggles his brows and blows you a kiss.

“Go fuck yourself, Haechan.”

“If you don’t mind can we have a little privacy please?”

“Oh, yes.” The nurse nods and leaves. “If you need anything just press the button I gave you.”

“Thank you.”

You watch the nurse leave and close the door behind her leaving you and Haechan alone. Letting out a huge breath Haechan joins you on the bed. 

Looking out the small window in your room you ask the dreaded question. “How bad is it?”

“Depends on what you tell me here.”

“Do they really think that I would do something as deliberate as to set my home on fire with my child and I barely escaping it unscathed?! What kind of lunacy are they snorting down at your precinct?!”

“I know you would do anything to protect your kid. We all know that but my boss doesn't. So I need you to tell me EVERYTHING. The events leading up to the fire and what happened afterwards. I need to know it all and DO NOT leave anything out.”

Gulping your head slowly turns to Haechan. “Exactly how much of everything do you need to know?”

Holding up his work phone he shows you the voice recording app. Turning your head away he says, “everything.” 

“That’s a little personal don’t you think?” Peeking back at him you see him press the button and know there is no way to get out of this. 

“Why don’t we start from the beginning? Actually, none of us know this, but when did you first meet Jaemin?”

You shrug, “almost two years before our son was born.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I got lost while taking a back road and ended up at his grandmother’s estate where he was staying. I had gotten hurt while trudging through the woods near her home and he allowed me to stay until I was better. He even invited my parents over so I wouldn’t miss spending the holidays with them.”

Shocked, Haechan chuckles. “Damn he did all that?”

“Yes it was very nice of him.”

“When did the two of you become official?”

“New Year’s Day.”

“How long did the two of you date before getting engaged?”

Rolling your eyes you start growing irritated. “Are these questions necessary? I mean really?!”

“Yes they are. We need to figure out if you had any reason to harm him.”

Turning away from Haechan you can’t help but remember all those months that you were locked up in that fucked up labyrinth of a home. How Jaemin made you play that perverse game hunting you down like you were a rabbit and he the wolf. Not to mention the use of his pride and joy, Nana… 

Your head springs up. “The dogs!!!!” You scream. “How could I have forgotten?! What the hell is wrong with me?! Where are the dogs? Are they okay?” 

“The two males seemed to have run away because they were located a few miles away in a different neighborhood. They’re safe and currently staying at a shelter until you’re able to care for them.”

“And Nana! What about her?”

Haechan shrugs, “we don’t know what happened to her. No one reported a dog that was found. I’ll check with the fire house, but as of now she may have perished in the fire.”

“She’s…she’s gone?” Tears spring to your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I know how much she meant to everyone.”

“Oh, Nana…” you cover your mouth as tears fall onto your hand. 

Your lips hidden from Haechan lightly tug at the ends. Fighting back the urge to smile, you let the appearance of grief take over your body. That hellish beast will no longer haunt you! She’s gone! Finally out of your life for good! 

It’s terrible to admit that you’re ecstatic she’s gone, but you are. She never got used to you being around. She would snap, bare her teeth, snarl, and bark at you. Not to mention all the times she purposely rushed past you making you lose your balance. The only sad part is that you will need to tell your son that his favorite dog in the whole wide world has passed away. Now that is going to be hard.

“So,” Haechan starts the interview again. “You were going to say how long you dated Jaemin.”

“We dated,” you sniff, “for about seven months and got engaged three months after I found out I was pregnant.”

“After your son was born, how was your marriage to Jaemin?”

“M-My marriage?”

“Yes, how was it being married to Jaemin? Did the two of you fight a lot? How did you manage being a new mom and a wife?”

“I… u-ummm —”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Okay, I’m going to need you to give me one more biiiigggg~ push, okay?” The doctor instructs you.

“I can’t! I can’t do it!” You cry out.

“Princess you need to, okay?” Jaemin holds your hand in his. “You can do this, you can do anything you set your mind to.” He kisses your sweat drenched forehead.

“No! Seriously I can’t!” You start to cry. “It hurts!”

“Sweetheart, just think in one more push you’ll be able to hold your son in your arms. In one more push it’ll all be over,” he lays his head on top of yours. “I can’t imagine how much pain you’re in, but you just squeeze my hand as hard as you need to, okay?”

“Okay!!! On three I’m going to need you to push!” The doctor says enthusiastically.

“I can’t!” You now hold onto Jaemin’s hand with both of yours.

“You can do this!” He kisses your forehead once more.

“One…two…” taking a huge breath in, you brace yourself and squeeze the living daylights out of Jaemin’s hand when the doctor says, “THREE!!!”

“Yahhhhhhh!!!” Both Jaemin and yourself shout for different reasons. 

“We’re almost there just a little more,” the doctor instructs.

“Ahhhh c’mon!!!” You growl.

“You’ve got this princess just one more push!” Jaemin winces when you squeeze his hand again.

“AHHHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!!” You scream.

And after the longest push of your life you hear the first cry of your baby boy. Immediately your body falls back onto the hospital bed, drenched in sweat. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you desperately try to catch your breath. Peeking down at the doctor, Jaemin’s eyes widen when the doctor holds up your baby.

“Princess! Princess!” He wraps his arm around your shoulders. “Look!”

Opening your eyes, you see the most beautiful baby in the world. Bursting into tears, Jaemin holds you close to him repeating ‘you did it! You did it!’ While his tears fall onto your cheeks.  

“Okay, we’re going to cut the umbilical cord now,” the doctor informs the two of you. “So, would you like to do the honors, dad?” 

Jaemin glances down at you. “C-Can I?”

“He’s your son, go ahead.” You reach up a clammy shaky hand and place it gingerly against his cheek.

Giving your wrist a quick kiss, Jaemin rushes over shaking from top to bottom. He’s given a pair of surgical scissors and the doctor tells him where to cut. After he is finished, they quickly take your son over to get a quick checkup, weigh in, and clean up, before he is placed in your arms. 

Consumed by this unspeakable feeling of pure love and adoration you stare at this beautiful baby. Feeling his breathing start to match your own, you wrap your hand gently around his. 

“You’re so beautiful right now,” Jaemin whispers next to you. 

Scoffing, you roll your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m all sweaty, my hair’s a mess and sticking to me, I must look like a mess right now… So, don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying. You’re glowing right now. And I never want to forget this sight for the rest of my life.”

Peeking up at him you gasp at the state Jaemin’s in. Eyes and nose red from the tears he’s fighting hard to hold back, but the smile on his face could make the devil himself change his ways. It’s simply angelic. Then again, the bright ceiling light above him helps to create this angelic atmosphere around him. Bending down he rests his forehead against yours as his hand cups your cheek.

“I love you so much.”

Closing your eyes, you bite your lips before uttering, “I know, Jaemin.”

Letting out a hurt laugh he kisses your nose before pulling back. “Thank you for allowing me to be here.”

“Jaemin,” you whisper.

“I’ll set everything up for the two of you to be taken care of for the rest of your lives.”

“Jaemin.”

“I’m sure the guys will be there to help you with whatever you need so you don’t have to worry —”

“STOP!” You raise your voice but not too loud as to wake the baby. “Just… stop, okay? You don’t… you don’t have to say anything…”

“A deal is a deal.”

“This is your son! Even if I’m not ecstatic about it, he deserves to have his father in his life and not through a plate glass window. And before you get some twisted idea that I’ve suddenly forgiven you, I just don’t want to know that you’re in some jail cell counting down the days before you can see us again. I think that would make you crazier than you already are.”

“But I thought…”

“I will never forgive you. This is just me showing you some compassion and leniency which you DO NOT deserve. I’m doing this for my child, but you WILL seek the help you need. The moment you stop going to therapy is the moment I change my mind and go to the police.”

“Absolutely! I swear I won’t…” he chokes out a cry. “I won’t let you or our son down. I know you said you would never forgive me but I will do everything in my power to show you I can be a man you can rely on. I’ll become a man that will be there for you and our child.”

“There will also be a few rule changes!”

“Rule…changes?” His head tilts.

“You will no longer accompany me when I leave the home.”

“BUT –” he starts.

Holding up your hand you stop him. “I am not going to leave you. Not now with our son. I will also not speak a word of what happened in regards to the two of us. I will not speak a word to your friends either of the events that occurred between us and I will keep up my role as the happy dutiful wife. All I ask in return is that you trust me. I need to leave the estate at some point, Jaemin. I need to be free to visit my parents on my own. I need to be able to go to the store without having you tag along. Let me have the life of a stay at home mom, deal?”

Closing his eyes tightly, he nods his head reluctantly. “Okay. Deal.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

The car ride to Jeno’s house is dead quiet. Your son has since fallen asleep with his head resting on your lap. The two of you are sitting in the back of Jeno’s car so your son can stretch out a little more. Across from you in the driver’s seat, Jeno’s hands grip the steering wheel tightly. It’s weird… this morning you had a home, a life, belongings, dogs, and a husband — now you’re homeless with a child, no job, and your parents… well, you can always live with them but after everything… 

“What did Haechan want to talk to you about?” Jeno whispers.

“He wanted to know about my relationship with Jaemin.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m the only suspect so far,” you sigh while stroking your son's hair. “He needed to get background information on my life with Jaemin.”

“What the fu —”

“Jeno!” You quickly interject.

Staring him dead straight in the eyes you look down towards your son. Instantly realizing his faux pas he gives a curt nod. “Sorry, I guess I’ll have to watch my language from now on. The two of you can stay with me for as long as you need to.”

“I’m sorry that this happened, Jeno. This must be such an inconvenience.”

“You’re not an inconvenience, you’re family!” He reaffirms.

“Thank you.”

The car goes quiet again. A thickness in the air of questions yet to be asked and answers that you honestly don’t want to give and can’t give. You’re still trying to wrap your head around what happened. How did the house become engulfed in such a short period of time? 

“So, what exactly did Haechan ask you in regards to Jaemin?”

“He wanted to know when we started dating, how our marriage life was like. I guess just your typical background information on the prime suspect. Jeno, if anything happens to me I need you to promise me one thing. I need you to —”

“Nothing is going to happen to you!” He grips the wheel tighter. “Do you hear me? Nothing! Haechan, the guys and I will never let anything happen to you. Plus, we promised Jaemin that a long time ago.”

“Wh-What?”

“When your son was born and after the plethora of baby pictures, I mean geez did the guy have to send every single one he ever took?” He chuckles, making you smile gently. “Anyway, after all that he called us out to have a round of drinks and said that he was the luckiest man in the world. 

“That he can’t believe that he had you in his life. He was just so happy. He asked us to promise him that if anything were to happen to him, anything at all, that we would take care of the two of you and we all promised without any hesitation.”

“He said that?”

“Mmmhmm. But now…” Jeno’s voice grows quiet. “Now that I’m thinking about it he was talking as if something would happen to him soon. It was strange. He was happy but at the same time he was scared.”

“He was scared?”

“Maybe scared isn’t the right word…worried, perhaps?”

“Worried…?” your gaze drifts off into the dark night. 

“Yeah it was almost as if his whole world would be swept away in an instant. It was strange we’ve never seen him like that before.”

“Did he ever say what was going on?”

“Ahhh!! We’re here,” Jeno states as he pulls into his driveway. “Haechan said he’ll be over in about two hours to talk to us about what will happen next. In the meantime I’ll make you guys something to eat and you can get cleaned up.”

“W-We don’t have anything to…” you whisper.

“Haechan said he’ll bring over some clothes for the two of you. His sister left some of her stuff at his place before she moved out. Tomorrow if the two of you are up for it we can go shopping for some essentials.”

“I promise Jeno I’ll pay you back! I swear!” 

Turning back around he cracks a wide smile. “Don’t worry about it. And I’ll say it here and now so listen up. There will be no saying ‘I’m sorry about this,’ or ‘No, you can’t. This is too much,’ or anything like that, okay?”

“You’re an amazing person, Jeno. Thank you for everything. Truly. We'll forever be in your debt.”

“Nonsense,” he gets out of the car. “Now let’s get you two inside and some food in your stomachs.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Sitting on the front porch on the swing Jaemin and Jeno put together for you a year ago during the early spring – you watch your son gleefully play with all of the dogs on the massive front lawn. It’s bizarre to imagine that three years ago you were holding your son for the first time. That he was this tiny precious baby and now, he’s running, laughing, and playing with all the dogs. He’s learning new words each and every day. How many clothes he’s grown out of, but one thing hasn’t changed – his love for you grows stronger and stronger each day.

“Mama!” He waves.

“Hi baby!” You wave back.

Nana barks, grabbing your son’s attention and he laughs while climbing on top of her. The smile you were proudly wearing starts to fade as the little shit of a creature wags her tail enthusiastically towards your son. Well, if there was one plus side with having Nana around, it was her loyalty. She would probably rush into a burning building to save your son before you took your first steps to do the same. She might be a bitch to you, but she loves your son dearly and for that, you’ll cover your disdain for her with a clench of annoyance with your jaw.

“I made some lemonade,” Jaemin says, coming out onto the front porch. “It’s extra sweet, just how you like it.”

“Ah, thanks,” taking your glass you mix the liquid around with the straw before taking a huge gulp. “It’s good.”

“It’s not too sweet?” He asks taking a seat next to you.

“No, it’s perfect.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I’m glad. I put in a little more sugar than last time. I’ll have to remember to make it this way from now on. So, what is on today’s agenda?”

“I need to go into town and do a little more shopping for his birthday party. Did you call the caterer?”

“Yep, they’ll be here an hour and a half before the party starts. The only problem we might have is the weather. It might rain in the afternoon, so I pulled a few strings and we’ll have a big tent set up the night before in the backyard as a precautionary measure.”

“It’s supposed to rain?” You ask worried. “Should we reschedule?”

“It would be too much of a hassle to reschedule. Plus, it’s just a smaller party this time around. Everything will be fine.”

“I just want his third birthday to be one to remember…” you pout looking out at your son who is still playing with the dogs.

“He’s not going to remember this birthday party at all so why worry? I mean do you remember your third birthday party?” Jaemin chuckles. “Once he hits seven that’s when we’ll have to up the ante.”

“Great, I'll have three years to plan the best party of all time.”

Jaemin starts to swing the porch swing gently, a huge smile on his face. “I know I’ve said this a million times already but I need to thank you for everything. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here for moments like these. I wouldn’t be able to see him grow up at all, to see him laughing and playing with the dogs, or see his first steps. It’s all thanks to you that I’m able to experience all of this.”

“It’s not a big deal,” you mumble. “Plus, who else would take care of Nana? She hates me and only likes the two of you.”

Chuckling, Jaemin reaches over and puts his hand on top of yours. “She doesn’t hate you.” Glaring at him he starts laughing more. “Okay, maybe she highly dislikes you, but I mean, you did try to kill me, remember?” He tilts his head.

“It’s not like I wanted to!” You snatch your hand from under his. “You left me with no other choice!”

“I know I didn’t leave you any other choice. It was a joke, I’m sorry.”

Glancing over you see the smile that Jaemin was boasting to the world has since disappeared. These past three years have been turbulent to say the least. You’ve sporadically burst out in pure rage towards him which could be a combination of many things. Blaming most of these outbursts on fatigue, which you felt was true considering your son would not sleep right until a few months ago – deep down both of you know it’s because you’re still harboring the hatred you felt for being trapped by him. Though admittingly, the feelings have become less and less as the years go by.

Jaemin has been an excellent father. He’s gone above and beyond anything you could have thought of. Even when he was barely getting two hours of sleep a night he would wake up and take care of his precious baby allowing you to sleep. The only time he ever woke you, was when there was no milk in the fridge that you pumped. Jaemin wanted to be present for everything in his child’s life, all of the little moments and all of the big moments. He’s been amazing…

“No, I’m sorry.” You rub between your brows. “I shouldn’t have shouted. Plus, I knew what I was doing back then. I wanted to do it…”

“You wanted to kill me?” He asks quietly.

“I wanted to be free.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Okay, what are we looking at?” Jeno asks Haechan.

“Geez, can’t a guy get himself comfortable before you jump down my throat? Plus, where’s your hospitality? No drink? No offering of food? Tsk, tsk, not a very good host at all.”

“Haechan cut the crap!” Jeno growls. “This is serious! We need to know what’s going to happen!”

“Okay, okay, I know,” Haechan turns to you. “I sent in the transcript of what we talked about to my boss. He glanced over a few things but he’s still not satisfied. Now, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he wants to look into the specifics of your relationship. I’m supposed to talk to your parents and try to get a feeling of how Jaemin and yourself were like during your relationship. He said something doesn’t feel right and he wants me to look into it.”

“Something doesn’t feel right?” You ask.

“For him, the timeline doesn’t make any sense. Honestly, I can’t blame him.”

Jeno runs an aggravated hand through his hair. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means while I was doing some research I found myself asking the same questions as him. How does someone who was so close to being a major player at her company just up and leave one day, out of the blue? How does she never go back to her job EVER and how does she not go back to her home? I talked with your landlord; he says he hasn’t seen you in over eight years. What’s up with that?” Haechan asks you.

“Why the hell are you looking into her like she’s some kind of suspect? Do you think she had anything to do with this? Whose side are you on?”

“That’s because as of right now she’s the prime suspect! It’s always the spouse who we dig into first with a fine-toothed comb, you should know this already. Look I’m on her side, but I’m going to do my job whether you or,” he looks you in the eyes and you knew what he was about to say, “you like it. This is my job! My livelihood. I can’t just sweep things under the rug. I promised that I would protect you and I will, but you’ve got to throw me a bone, some things just aren’t adding up.”

“So she quit her job and moved in with Jaemin. What does that have to do with anything? Plenty of couples move in with each other. If this is the kind of talk you wanted to have you can just leave!”

“Why are you getting so pissed? I’m keeping the two of you in the loop of EVERYTHING that’s going to happen. I’m not hiding anything.”

Jeno rises from the couch. “Because you’re making it seem like she’s guilty!”

“And who’s to say she isn’t?!” Haechan shouts while standing up as well. “Just because she’s family doesn’t mean she’s innocent!”

“Can we just keep our voices down, or take this conversation outside?” You ask.

“We made a promise to Jaemin! WE, as in all of us, promised to keep her safe as well as her son if ANYTHING were to happen to him.”

“And why did he make us promise something like that? Hmmm?! Maybe he expected that something would happen to him!”

“Are you fucking serious? Why would he think his life is in danger?”

“I don’t know, why don’t we ask his corpse that is in the fucking morgue!” Haechan screams as tears fall down onto his cheeks.

“H-Haechan…” you grab ahold of his hand. “Please, stop, both of you.”

“No! He’s being an asshole!” Jeno shouts.

“I’m trying to put together a picture so I can prove she had nothing to do with this!”

“And looking into her work history is how you do this?”

Sighing, you stand up between them. “Jaemin and I,” you start to speak but stop. “Jaemin and I had a fraudulent marriage!” You shout.

Silence fills the room as you finally speak some of your truth. Frankly, it felt nice to speak about things. Having kept this secret, this charade up for the past seven years has been tough. With Jaemin gone, perhaps…you can finally be free…

“What did you just say?” Haechan grabs your shoulders.

“I mean it wasn’t fraudulent in the literal sense. I lied to you when I said that Jaemin and I had been dating. We, well, the thing is –”

Scoffing Jeno rolls his eyes flopping down on the couch.  “So Haechan is right,” he shakes his head. “You’re going to sit down and tell us everything. No more secrets.”

“E-Everything?”

“Everything,” Haechan sits down as well. “This is only going to help you in the long run. If everything checks out then you won’t have anything to worry about.”

“What if I do have something to worry about? What if I say what happened between Jaemin and I and I lose everything?” Tears start to trickle down your cheeks. “Look, all you need to know is that towards the end, we were working on things. We even started to sleep in the same bed again! I swear!”

“You weren’t sleeping in the same bed?” Jeno questions.

Shaking your head anxiously, “I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“Tell us what happened!” Haechan states firmly and while you shake your head, your eyes close tightly, repeating ‘I can’t, I can’t’ over and over again until Haechan grabs your hand and soon you hear it click.

“H-Haechan!” Jeno gasps. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Haechan!” You squeak.

“Tell us everything or I’m going to take you down to the precinct and interrogate you the proper way. I’ll put you in our holding cell until you decide to talk. So, which do you prefer?” He holds up the other end of the handcuffs making your arm raise slightly.

Your eyes bounce back and forth between your hand and Haechan’s intense gaze. He wasn’t joking at all. He’s being dead serious. Gently turning to Jeno he motions for you to just talk, clearly exhausted from this situation and most likely today’s fiasco. Nodding, Haechan lowers your arm. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out his phone and goes straight to the audio recording app. Clicking the button he asks you the question, ‘what exactly happened between you and Jaemin?’

“Jaemin and I were married legally but we weren’t in love,” you start your sorted tale. “Well, at least I wasn’t in love. Jaemin, he was the one who was in love with me. I guess the real truth was he was madly, enthusiastically, crazily, in love with me. When we were married, I hated him. I was numb from the inside out. I only went through with the wedding because of my son.”

“Why would you marry someone you hate just because of your son? You were making quite enough money for yourself and any children you would have, so why go through everything to marry someone you hate?”

Shrugging you coil in on yourself. “That’s something I can’t explain. Like I stated I was numb. I had shut down all thoughts and feelings for the most part. It was as if I was looking at my life from outside of my body. I liked Jaemin when we first met. I even thought I found the person I would spend the rest of my life with, but he went crazy when I told him I had to go. He started acting erratic and, well, there’s really no other way to say it, but he kidnapped me.”

Haechan stops the recording quickly after you finish speaking. “What the fuck do you mean he kidnapped you?!”

“Jaemin slipped something into my drink the night before I was going to leave. I fell asleep in his arms in his bed and when I woke up I was in a different room chained to a bed. The chain was long enough for me to move around the room and to use the bathroom, but I couldn’t leave. He had Nana, for the most part, watch the door I was in. That little bitch hated me.” You roll your eyes. “The tears I was shedding in the hospital when you told me she was gone, were tears of joy. I couldn’t stand that dog. She would always try to trip me, she would bark at me, snap at me. She was acting like a jealous ex-girlfriend. She was like that the moment I stepped into Jaemin’s life.”

Shaking his head, Haechan stands up. “No. This… This didn’t happen.” He grabs his phone.

“It did happen, Haechan! I was locked in a fucking room for months and was made to play some stupid game where he was hunting me!”

“Shut up!” Haechan growls.

“No! You wanted to know what happened between us, so I’m going to tell you what happened between us. Every week I had to attempt to escape the estate. That was the game. Try to get through the fucking maze below the house to the main floors and escape past the three gates that were locked – the kicker, he had put the key to the locks to the gates on my collar that he had me wear around my neck. I was given breaks only at dinner time and at night where I had to enter a designated room.

“Once I was inside there was a light that turned green indicating that the game was officially on hold until the next morning. He would use Nana to sniff me out which made escaping damn near impossible. When he found me, he’d hook a chain to my collar and drag me back to the room I was staying in like a fucking dog! But when I got hurt, the games stopped and I was put on bedrest –”

“I’m not hearing any of this,” he puts his hands over his ears.

Standing up you grab hold of his wrists tugging at his hands. “So I did what I needed to do to survive! I pretended that I wanted him. I gave into every touch,” you hiss venomously remembering those moments. “That’s when the numbness started,” a dark cynical smile spreads across your lips. “I shut down completely and surrendered to him.

“I let him fuck me how many times a day he wanted to. I begged and pleaded for more like a wanton whore!” You shriek tears pouring down your face. “But that only gave me a chance to think about my escape. I waited until he felt comfortable around me. Until he could trust me, until he would free me of my chains that held me back from doing the one thing I couldn’t do before…”

“What did you do?” You hear Jeno’s shaky voice behind you.

Turning back your eyes darken over with a chilliness that has him shrinking back. “I tried to kill him. I thought I did honestly. I used a pillow to suffocate him in his sleep. I made my escape only to be stopped by Nana at the top of the steps. I pointed to where Jaemin was, and just like the dutiful dog she is, or was, she went to go and check on him.

“I sprinted through the halls that I mapped out many times in my head to get to the main floor as quickly as possible. I was afraid that at any second he would materialize before me. I made it out of the house and through the first two gates. I could barely breathe. My body was so tired, I don’t know how long I was locked down in that labyrinth of hell, but the brightness of the sun almost blinded me. When I got to the final gate and opened it, I was about to take my first steps to freedom when the gates closed automatically. And that’s when I realized I made a huge mistake, and the rest, well you guys know the rest of this fucked up tale.”

Out of nowhere Haechan lunges at you, his hands wrapping around your neck. “You fucking bitch! You killed him! You did this!”

“WHAT THE HELL!!!!! HAECHAN!!!! LET GO OF HER!” Jeno shouts as he rushes to stop Haechan.

“You wanted him dead! You made sure to end him this time didn’t you? Didn’t you?!” His grip on your neck tightens.

You claw for Haechan to let go of your neck when you start gasping for air, your vision beginning to gloss over from your tears. Maybe this was for the best. Haechan’s anger, though delayed, is justified. You did try to end his friends’ life, but it failed, and you were still trapped with that monstrous beast.

“Haechan! Stop! She’s turning purple!!!” Jeno screams. “She didn’t kill him! He lived you jackass!”

“She waited seven years to finish the job! I know she did!”

Your hands that were gripping Haechan’s wrists go limp at your sides. Jeno will take care of your son, you know he will. Plus, now your baby will never know what happened between you and his father. The secret of his conception will forever be hidden from him. No questions like ‘mommy how did you and daddy meet?’ ‘Mom what did dad say that won you over?’ ‘Mom, how long did it take for you to plan your wedding?’ Tears sprinkle down into your ears. The only sad thing is, you won’t see your baby boy grow up.

“Fuck man! Stop!!!!!” Jeno uses all his strength to punch Haechan square in his jaw and only then are you freed from his grasp. Not bothering to gasp for air, Jeno catches you in his arms. “Breathe!” He screams as the two of you fall to the floor, your body resting in his lap.

Why? You ask yourself. Why breathe? No matter what happens, no matter what truth comes out you’ll be thought of as guilty, so why bother?

“FUCK BREATHE!!!!!!!” Jeno’s tears fall onto your face. “PLEASE!!! BREATHE!!!!! FUCK!!!! HAECHAN CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE!”

“Let the bitch die, it’s what she deserves,” he hisses.

“What the hell are you talking about? Shit! D-Don’t worry, just stay with me, okay? Stay with me…” Jeno scrambles for his phone in his pocket.

“She deserves to die after what she did. How can you sit there and defend her?! She tried to kill Jaemin once, what makes you think that she didn’t try to kill him again?”

“For fucks sake man! I knew all of this shit already! I knew everything!”

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears. Your body is now screaming for air to fill your lungs. What did he mean he knew everything? He…He couldn’t have. Jaemin would never tell anyone his secret…he wouldn’t…

“…When you came into my life and we started talking, it was like I was seen,” he sniffles. “Someone was finally looking at me for me.”

“And you’re telling me your friends don’t see you for you?”

“They see me as the kid who’s from a rich family. Plus, it’s not like they aren’t from well off families either.”

“You’ve doubted their loyalty?”

“Never.”

“Then you trust them and accept that they see you for you.”

“Only one person.”

“Jeno?” You inquire.

Nodding he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck…

“Mom…my…” You hear your son’s voice enter the room.

GO AWAY! BABY!!! PLEASE!!!! You scream in your head.

“Little man,” Jeno’s body trembles under you. “U-Ummm… your mom is just sleeping, go back to bed, okay?”

“Mommy…” you hear your son’s voice again. “Mama!!!!!” His voice comes closer to you. “Mommy!!!!!” He cries out your name.

AHHHHHH FUCK IT!!!!! 

And finally, you gasp for air. 

“Finally!!!” Jeno holds you in his arms. “Are you okay?”

“Mommy?” Your son sniffs. “What’s wrong with mommy?” He starts to cry.

“Uhh, she was just sleeping deeply,” Jeno lies. “Hae-Haechan, why don’t you tuck him back into bed, okay?” Haechan doesn’t move, his face blank and unreadable. “Haechan!” Jeno cries out. “Please, take him back to bed. It’s past his bedtime.”

“We’re not done here,” he replies, his voice cold as ice.

“Yes, yes, now go…”  Haechan reaches out for your sons’ hand and you watch your little boy disappear into the darkness of the shadowy hallway. “Shit woman,” Jeno exhales, his head resting on top of yours. “What the fuck were you thinking? You have a kid!”

You try to answer him, but your voice doesn’t come out. Again, you try to speak, but nothing.

“Don’t you ever do something like that again, got it?! Shit… I thought I’d have to bury two friends and I can’t do that. I can’t!”

“He’s back in bed,” Haechan returns into the living room entryway, leaning against the wall. “Now, would someone care to explain to me what the actual fuck is going on here?”

Suddenly tears well up in your eyes as you stare at Haechan. The numbing feeling that coursed through your body when he was beyond pissed at you vanished, now the only thing in its wake is fear. Fear that you’ve ruined your chances of freedom. Fear that you won’t be able to clear your name when you did absolutely nothing this time around. Fear that you were actually going to let yourself chase the white light and leave everyone including your son behind.

Holding out your hands you lower your head in shame and let everything out. Your body quakes as tears fall onto the floor beneath you uncontrollably. You deserve to be behind bars. You deserve to face your fate for so many things. Lying, manipulating, gas lighting, attempting to… you can’t even think of the word, for even contemplating ending your life, you deserve all the hell you’re about to face. Every bit of it…

Footsteps ring out into the quiet room, getting closer and closer to you until they stop right in front of you. You feel Jeno’s arm wrap around your waist protectively. A burning sensation pierces the skin of your hands, they are hit away. Peering up you see Haechan’s cold gaze staring you down as if you’re a piece of shit. His hand goes up again and Jeno’s grasp on you tightens even more, his body starting to turn you away from Haechan.

Clenching his hand, Haechan sighs. “Pull yourself together; you’ve got a kid to take care of.” He gets up, shoves his phone in his pocket and grabs his jacket. “We’re not done talking about what just happened.” He states before heading out the door.

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Leafing through the papers on his desk, Haechan rolls his eyes annoyed. How could things have gone unnoticed for so long? How were you able to keep up the charade of a fake relationship with Jaemin the whole time the two of you were together? Staring at the home you and Jaemin shared he starts to bite his nails. The answer to everything felt so close and yet so far. Were you being honest about the happenings between the two of you early on? Were you hiding something?

The chatter and phones fill the precinct, but he’s since blocked out all of the noise. Three weeks have passed since he last saw you. Three weeks since he lost his temper and tried to…

“Shit!” He groans. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” He whispers to himself.

“Everything alright there?”

Haechan raises his head to see his co-worker, Mikayla. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Mmmhmm, is that the reason why you look like hell because everything is fine?”

“Don’t you have a job to do? A case to solve or someone else to bother?”

Sliding her chair into her desk she looks across from her, smirking at Haechan. “Nope. But, if someone doesn’t mind handing over one of their cases I wouldn’t refuse.”

“You want the murder suicide case that badly huh?”

“Who wouldn’t? It was at the Governors’ Ball! Plus, it’ll look good with the higher ups.”

For the second time in five minutes Haechan rolls his eyes before opening one of the drawers at his desk. “Here, be my guest.” He grabs a file and tosses it over onto Mikayla’s desk. “I’ve got too much to deal with on this case anyway.”

“Are you talking about the house that burnt down?” She pouts. “What’s there to solve with that one? Didn’t the fire chief say that it wasn’t an act of arson?”

“Yes, but something isn’t sitting well with me. He stated that a gas pipe had a crack in it, but even then his words were ‘things happen sometimes. The house was old and didn’t have any updates to make sure that things were up to code. If it wasn’t a cracked pipe it would have been something else.’”

Nodding she looks through the case she’s just been handed. “And you don’t think the fire chief of all people knows what he’s talking about?”

“It’s not that…”

“Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for the lady of the house already,” she chuckles. “Or,” she gasps. “Do you think she’s the one who caused this?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” he runs a tired hand through his hair. “I think I need to take a break for a second and clear my mind.” Pushing his chair out he takes out his keys and unlocks the front drawer, grabbing a pack of cigarettes. “Care to lend a friend a shoulder for a bit?” He asks her.

Heading outside Haechan and Mikayla bow their heads and chit chat lightheartedly with a few of their fellow detectives and cops before heading around the corner to an alley next to the precinct. Leaning against the wall of the precinct, Haechan pops up a cigarette and offers one to Mikayla.

“You know I don’t smoke.” She waves a dismissive hand.

“Not now you don’t,” he puts the cigarette between his lips. “Wait a couple years, it’ll either be these or drinking – pick a poison now so you won’t be blindsided later.”

“What’s gotten into you these past couple weeks? Obviously you’re not sleeping well. Your eyes look like a panda’s. It was a house fire, it’s terrible but what more could there be?”

“There was a victim of the house fire, a body, but I don’t know how it all connects together.” He lights the cigarette and takes an extra-long inhale. Blowing out the smoke he turns to Mikayla defeated. “Would you ever stay in an abusive relationship?”

“What kind of question is that? No!”

“Even if the person started out kind in the beginning, you still wouldn’t?”

“It doesn’t matter if they were a saint in the beginning, no one man or woman should deal with an abusive partner. Why are you asking me this?”

Taking a smaller drag of his cigarette Haechan puffs out another round of smoke. “The woman whose house burned down, I know her. I’ve known her for the past seven years. She’s practically family at this point.”

“And you’re working on her case? Haechan you know you shouldn’t be near this case!” Mikayla pushes herself off the wall to stand in front of him. “What were you thinking?! If the captain finds out about this you’ll be dead meat!”

“I’m the only one who can work this case. Plus, I promised her husband that no matter what happened to him I’d be there to protect her and her son. I’m not breaking that promise, no matter what.”

“Even if it comes back that she was somehow involved in the death of her husband? Haechan you’re not thinking clearly, pass this case on to someone else, let them look into things with an unbiased mind.”

Flicking off the butt of his cigarette Haechan chuckles, “you know I watched them get married. I was there the day her son was born. I've smiled and laughed at all the dinner parties, birthday parties, every Christmas holiday, but it was all a lie.” He takes another long inhale of his cigarette letting the smoke fill his lungs before blowing it out once again. “He kidnapped her,” he mumbles.

“Wh-What…?”

“My friend, the man I thought I knew was a monster this whole time. According to her, he kidnapped her, kept her locked in that house for God knows how long before she tried to fight back and get free.”

“What did she do?”

“She tried to kill him,” Haechan’s jaw tightens. “With a pillow apparently. That was over seven years ago.” He blows out another puff of smoke.

Shaking her head, Mikayla takes her spot next to Haechan once more. “An attempt of murder?” She whispers.

“At that point it would be self-defense, would it not? Worst case scenario most she’d get is a couple months or a year if the news of this was brought out.”

“If? You’re not going to put that in the report?”

“Is it necessary?”

“It would show that she had a motive in the past to hurt your friend, why wouldn’t you clarify this?!”

“Because she said they were making things work, that’s why…” with one last inhale he finishes his cigarette, puts it out on the wall next to him and flicks it off to the side. “If you were in my shoes would you let this go, or would you put it into the report?”

“How long was she married to your friend?”

“About seven years.”

Lowering her head, her arms fold across her chest. “Get the full story and then come back and ask me.”

“Or, you could listen in on an interrogation. I called her in to be here after lunch, so you down to do this?”

“Yes.”

“Right this way,” Haechan opens the door to the interrogation room and you walk in. “Do you need anything to eat or drink?”

Pulling out the chair on one side of the table, you sit down placing your purse on the floor. “No.” You answer curtly.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” He asks taking a seat in the chair across from you.

Clenching your jaw, you unwrap the scarf that was around your neck, folding it neatly off to the side. “Why would I be mad?”

Haechan’s expression falls quickly. Traces of his outburst are still visible on your neck, red bruising that anyone with decent eyesight could tell that someone had tried to hurt her. Scooting his chair uncomfortably, he leans forward. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened… I –”

Interjecting you ask, “what exactly did you want to discuss?”

The three weeks Haechan stayed away from both you and Jeno gave you a lot of time to think. It wasn’t that you were mad at him for what he did, hell if the roles were reversed you might have tried beating the shit out of someone who dared tried to kill your best friend – that being said, he would never be able to empathize with you. He’ll never know what kind of pain you were in psychologically, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Talking to Jeno before he dropped you off here before heading out for some light shopping, he mentioned one thing that stuck out to you. Jaemin and Haechan had a very interesting relationship, though they were friends, they had their fair share of bad blood in the past. Arguments that resulted in small misunderstandings, fist fights that broke out because one said something they shouldn’t have. Their relationship was always swaying back and forth like a pendulum from good to bad. There were only a handful of moments where their relationship was neutral, but even then – even in the bad moments, Haechan respected Jaemin.

“Please, I’m sorry… I was just so angry and I wasn’t thinking…” Haechan tries to explain.

“I’m not mad but I’m also aware that your loyalty is with Jaemin more than it is with me, it always has been and always will be. No matter what, you are his brother and I am his wife. Now, what did you want to discuss?”

Glancing behind him, he sighs and pulls out his phone. Going through the motions of setting up the recording for the interview, he starts with the basics, your name, age, and association with the deceased. Information that you’re sure is well known by all.

“When we last talked you mentioned that your husband hurt you, is that correct?”

“Yes I did.”

“In what ways did he hurt you?”

“Like I stated I’m not 100% sure but I believe Jaemin slipped something into my drink the night before I was set to leave to go back to my apartment in the next city, approximately three hours from here. I woke up on what I assume is the following morning and I was no longer in his bedroom, but in another room deep below the main house. The rooms were white and at first it hurt to open my eyes.

“My clothes were different from what I went to sleep in. I was only given a white shirt and white leggings, white undergarments, and white shoes. I then noticed that I had something wrapped around my neck, it was a leather collar and attached to it was a long heavy chain. As stated it was long enough for me to move around the room, to use the restroom that was inside of this bedroom, but to get out and leave, there was no way I could. I tried tugging and using anything I could to break free, but it was no use.

“In the beginning he just came in and provided food and drinks for me. Brought in some books for me to read, but no matter how much I begged and pleaded he wouldn’t let me go. After a while, during this time I had no concept of time or how many hours passed, how many days. There were no windows, but after a while he came in and said that he wanted to play a game with me. The concept of the game was for me to get out of this long maze of corridors underneath the house and make it out of the house and past all of the gates on the property.

“He put a key onto my collar, removed the chain, stepped aside and told me to go ahead. I bolted out the door and from down the hall, where I was staying in — he said if I don’t make it out we’ll keep playing until I do. He knew very well it was going to be impossible for me to leave.”

“Why did he keep you in this room and chained up?”

“He stated that when I told him I was going to leave and go back home he started freaking out. He was right, he did start acting really weird. I mentioned this as the second week of the New Year was rolling in. He started to become extra clingy, and begged me not to go back. He said things like ‘I can provide for you,’ ‘please don’t leave me, please!’ ‘What do I need to do to get you to stay.’ I was slowly starting to think this might not work out because of how he was acting, and then suddenly, he stopped acting like this. He simply asked, ‘are you serious about this relationship?’ To which I said, ‘yes.’”

Haechan’s brow quirks up in confusion. “You mean to tell me this is all because you were going to go back to your home and to your job?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry but that doesn’t make sense.”

“When someone has a psychotic break a lot of things don’t make sense. He confessed that he was scared that he would never see me again. He was scared that after all these years someone who saw him for him and not as some rich guy was going to leave his life forever. That wasn’t true. I liked him a lot. I wanted to be with him. I fell for him, fast and hard, as he did with me. The only problem is that I wasn’t alone locked up in a house in the middle of nowhere, like he was.

I didn’t have a job that for the most part kept me away from people until absolutely necessary. I didn’t have a family that seemed to not care if I spent the holidays alone. Actually, speaking of the holidays, why didn’t any of you spend time with him?”

Pressing the pause button on his phone Haechan lets out a deep sigh. “Let’s keep this about you, shall we?”

“What? I can’t ask questions when you know the victim as well?” Tilting your head you smile. “Or does everyone still think you’re not involved in any way?”

“Only one person knows and I’d prefer to keep it that way until we solve this case. As for your question, off the record, Jaemin never told us anything. If we’re talking about the time period of seven years ago, he secluded himself from the rest of us. We didn’t even know he was at his grandmother’s house. So there was no way we could have talked to him about getting together.”

“I see.”

“Shall we get back to the real line of questions?”

“Proceed.”

Pressing the pause button again the recording starts up. “You said he had a psychotic break, how are you so sure?”

“I don’t know, I would assume chaining someone in a room for months would be defined as a psychotic break, wouldn’t you agree Detective Lee?”

Rolling his eyes, Haechan smirks. “Okay, let’s say that I believe you and he kept you in this so-called room, where is it exactly? There was nothing about an underground room in the blueprint of the house.”

“Why would there be something on the blueprint when it’s supposed to be used for something you’re not supposed to be doing. It’s like having a hidden passageway, not really hidden if it’s in the blueprint. Or, having your safe room listed in the blueprints. If an intruder had the blueprints to the house, for whatever reason, it would be really stupid to have that room listed, now wouldn’t it?

“But to answer your question, the room itself was the last room in a long corridor of many corridors. I can’t tell you how deep below it is, but there was an opening behind a large painting on the main floor. It was right before you would head up to the second floor. You pull the painting away, unlock the door – Jaemin always had the key on hand, and go down a long narrow staircase. Once you reach the bottom it’s like a secret bunker.

“The hallway is this bright light gray tone that almost blinds you. You keep walking down that hallway and you reach a door. Now this door was always unlocked, unless Jaemin wasn’t down there with me. If I somehow managed to free myself he would need something else to keep me down there until he could subdue me once more.”

Shaking his head, Haechan clicks his tongue while leaning back in his chair. His arms cross over his chest as he sports the cockiest grin you’ve ever seen. “You expect me to believe all of this was underneath his grandmother’s house? Are you serious?”

“I’m telling you the truth. You just refuse to believe it because it sounds outrageous.” Leaning forward you lean your elbows on the table, propping your head up with your hands at your cheeks. “There are a lot of things in this world that are beyond imagination Haechan. There are people in this world who do terrible and evil things all the time. Perhaps think back on one of your cases that shocked you beyond imagination. How did you feel before you knew the truth versus after?”

Readjusting in his chair he turns away from you. “Continue.”

“There were cameras everywhere. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jaemin didn’t have a room that was for watching me during our downtime. No matter where I was in the house, I was being watched. The only place where there were no cameras was the hidden passageways. They’re not exactly escape friendly. There are a lot of rusted nails sticking up from the floorboards, broken glass, not to mention the dust and bugs.

“I favored those routes, but Jaemin learned this after a few failed attempts. As soon as he figured out my plan he had Nana sniff something of mine and she always led him directly to me…” you pause, closing your eyes slowly. “Sometimes he would taunt me. He would pretend as if he had no idea where I was, but I knew that was a lie. I knew that with the sound of her footprints walking next to him, her nails clicking against the white tiled floor. I tried to keep moving, to keep a good distance so I could at least make it to the first floor, but I was always caught. Always.”

“The last time we talked you had mentioned off the record that you had gotten hurt, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“How did you get hurt?”

Sighing, you give an I-don’t-know shrug. It wasn’t that you didn’t know, it was that there were plenty of times you ‘got hurt,’ but the incident he wants you to talk about is what you told him in front of Jeno, when you confessed shortly after that you tried to kill Jaemin. To say anything on record is certain doom.

“I’ll repeat the question,” he says sternly. “How did you get hurt?”

“Which time?”

“Pardon?” He looks confused.

“Which time are you referring too? There were a few cases that I needed bed rest before his twisted game started up again.” Snickering, “I guess I have to give him some credit. He didn’t want his little rabbit to be hurt while he hunted.”

“The last time you were hurt.” Haechan specifies.

“I got startled by how close he had gotten to me and tumbled down the stairs. I sprained my ankle and when he got me –” you pause.

It wasn’t as if these past two years of working things out with Jaemin have wiped everything he did off the face of the earth. It wasn’t as if you forgave him for keeping you away from your loved ones, but spending time with him, seeing him in almost the same light that you saw him when you first met… It almost was like a scar showing the first signs of healing, but talking to Haechan is like picking at the scar and opening it up.

The pain, the hurt, and psychological damage that you both faced resurfacing once more. What’s worse, he doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t believe anything that you’re saying and even if you could prove that it’s true… there’s no evidence…

Clearing his throat Haechan gestures for you to finish. “When he found me he linked the one end of the chain into my collar, and started to lead me away as if I was some animal on a leash. I told him I was hurt and he got mad. He brought up the rules and –”

Haechan interjects. “Rules?”

“There are seven rules to this game. Seven rules that you need to follow or else,” you stop again shocked. “Or else something bad would happen. It took me months to learn all the rules, but once I did I didn’t dare break them. I mean I was already being held prisoner, the logical thing that would happen if I break all the rules would be…”

“Death?” Haechan asks.

Shrugging you fidget in your seat. “I don’t think he would have ever killed me, but I wouldn’t have, during this time mind you, put it past him to destroy everything I loved so there was nothing else in the world I could have and hope for.”

The room falls silent. It was true you never tried to break every single rule in one round of the game. Yes, getting hurt is bad and it would hinder your escapes so you always tried to at least notify him of your injuries. Denying him once he caught you fair and square – with the help of his most loyal companion, was like whining after losing rock, paper, scissors. Jaemin never mentioned what he would do but the eeriness in his voice that first time he read you the rules still chills you to the bone.

 ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Everything around you is dark. A few minutes ago, Jaemin had placed a blindfold over your eyes and stated that he wanted to play a game with you. A strange aura started to radiate from him and immediately you crawled away from him. Something about this game didn’t feel right, though it hasn’t even started. Pulling you back to him by your ankles, your body pulls the freshly made covers down on your bed.

“Don’t make this harder on yourself, princess,” he whispers close to your ear. “This is going to be a fun game, you’ll see. Plus, you’ll be able to leave this room. Don’t you want this?”

“I want to go home,” you whisper.

Grabbing your arm from under you, he manages to flip you over to your back, climbing on top of you. Your blindfold exposes one of your eyes, but he simply pulls it back down. “What have I told you a million times?” He asks, taking both of your hands into his grasp. Something cold touches your skin and before you can put two and two together, Jaemin has your hands bound by a zip tie. “You are home.”

Tugging on your neck you try to escape Jaemin’s grasp, but it’s no use. He has a firm hold on the chain that is attached to a leather collar around your neck. The sounds of his loyal companions' nails click on your right hand side, while Jaemin is on your left a few feet ahead of you.

“Please Jaemin! Please, just let me go! I promise I won’t tell anyone what you’re doing, okay? I just want to go back home!” You beg.

“Princess, I’m not in the mood to argue with you over this matter. You are home, this is your home. Your home is with me.”

“Jaemin, please, you have to stop this! Why are you doing this? I thought you liked me! Is this what you do to someone that you like?”

“Oh, I don’t like you,” he stops walking and you bump into him. Feeling his hands run up your arms, you scrunch your shoulders close to your ears, visibly uncomfortable with the gesture. “I love you,” he kisses the top of your head. “I want us to be together forever. I want us to start a family, to get married, to grow old together.”

“Then why are you doing this?! Huh?!” You scream only to notice your voice echoes around you. Startled you look around like an imbecile. There is no way you can see anything with this blindfold, but it was a natural reaction to the sound of your voice.

“I’ve waited for people to return before,” his voice grows soft. “I’ve waited and waited for the people I love to return to me but you know what princess,” his voice leaves your side and ends up behind you. “They never came back. I waited and waited and waited like an idiot for someone who I loved to come back into my life. For that person who I cherished more than anything to save me and I was left alone!” He shouts causing you to shrink down in front of him. “But,” he clears his throat. “I’m a reasonable man. I want you to stay with me because you desire to, but until you see this, how about a little game?”

The black fabric that was tied around your head slowly unravels before you. Squinting at the brightly lit room your hands come up to cover your eyes. “Wh-Where am I?” Your voice comes out barely a whisper.

“Take a look around,” Jaemin moves back in front of you. “Now for these,” he digs into his pocket bringing out a Swiss Army knife and removes the zip ties from your wrists. “There we go.”

Rubbing your wrists, Jaemin steps to your left side allowing you to get a view of where you’re at, but what you see doesn’t make any sense. In front of you are four different hallways. All of which are the same light gray color, all of which appear to be the same length. The area you find yourself in is like the end of a road. A small enough area for someone to choose what path to go, but that’s about it.

“Wh-Where am I?” You start to shake.

“You’re at the starting line. Every time we play this game you will start here. But, before you begin, I think it’s best if we go over the premise of this game as well as the rules. So listen up, okay?” Nodding in shock you stare down each of the long hallways, your heart starting to beat faster and faster. “The premise of the game is for you to leave this underground maze and reach the main floor of the house. After you reach the main floor, you’re to leave the house and go through each of the three gates on the property.”

“We-We’re still at your grandmother’s house?”

“Yes. We haven’t left. This is an underground maze of hallways that my great-great-great grandfather had made during a time of war. This was to insure that the family would be able to escape unharmed if the home were to be invaded for any given reason.”

“B-But why am I down here?”

“To play a game, silly.” He chuckles. “Think of this as a HUGE escape room. There are plenty of secret passageways, doors that you can enter, and plenty of hallways that you can travel down,” he starts walking around the room, his eyes closing shut with a little smile on his face. “Grandmother and I liked to play hide and seek down here. She knew this labyrinth like the back of her hand. From generation after generation, all of the kids came down here to play, so that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to play!” 

Your body starts to tremble uncontrollably. “I-I don’t want to play! Wh-What if I get lost? What if I can’t make it to the main floor?”

“The game will last for four hours. You have exactly four hours to get from down here, to upstairs and out of the house and off the property. After four hours, if you are down here, whichever door you’re near will have a green light above it. That is to signify the end of the game for that day, and for a meal and sleep break. You’ll hear an alarm and that is when you wake up, get dressed, have another meal, and get ready for another four hours to try to escape. This will continue until you get to the main floor, or if you get hurt. Simple, right?”

Shaking your head you back away from him and the strange hallways. “I don’t want to play this. I…I want to go back to that room.”

Tilting his head, his lips pucker out in a pout. “It’s either we play this game, or you’re trapped down here until you submit to me, forever.” He smiles brightly when he says forever, a cold chill raking across your body. “So, what’s it going to be? A shot at freedom, or a lifetime with me?”

He can’t be serious… This is just some joke that he’s trying to play. An ‘I got’cha’ moment where he says it’s all a joke and that he was just messing with you this whole time and you can pretend this nightmare never happened. No… no… this HAS TO BE a dream, no! A fucked up nightmare! There’s no way the man you were cuddled up against, after a beautiful romantic dinner, and a night of making love is the same sick sadistic monster in front of you. This has to be a nightmare…it has to be!

“Tik tok, princess, we don’t have all day.” He leans down so he can look into your eyes. “Should I explain the rules so you can understand better?”

“YES!” You squeak.

“Okay,” he moves away from you and starts walking back and forth, waving his arm as if he’s giving some grand speech. “Rule 1, 'the one being hunted may try to escape the property by any means necessary unless they are in a safe room, or have been injured. Rule 2, if the party being hunted finds themselves hurt they are to call out the safe word 'red' or push the red button that is located on the wall outside of all of the designated safe rooms signifying that the game is over.

“Rule 3, the hunter will give their prey a specified amount of time as a means for a head start before starting the hunt. They may extend or cut back on the amount of time given per round. Rule 4, it would be wise for the prey to keep themselves well-hidden and keep quiet to ensure the game does not end too soon. Rule 5, if the hunter catches their prey, the prey needs to come quietly as the round has ended. Rule 6, the hunter will then inspect the prey for any injuries once they have been captured. This is by no means a rule that can be skipped or looked past. Rule 7, if the prey tries to resist – the hunter will have to make their prey submit by any means necessary.”

Stopping right in front of you, a gentle smile on his face that makes him look like a sweet angel in disguise he asks, “do you understand the rules, princess?”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Plopping back in his chair Haechan stares at you in disbelief. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but instantly closes his mouth and looks away from you.

“I’m not making anything up. I played that sick game for months. I tried and tried and tried again to escape. Every time I thought I was so close to reaching the main floor he would randomly appear, with Nana by his side. It was only then I discovered that he was using her to help sniff me out. Then, I found the secret passageways and started to learn how to navigate them. The games were prolonged for more than just a day. He enjoyed it. But there was one thing I wasn’t going to do and that was to submit to him.”

“So then why did you submit to him and let him have his way with you?”

“I was at my wits end and I thought if I gave him the idea that I was his and his alone, he would just take me up to the main floor. But he saw right through me. After I made it to the last gate he said –”

“You mean after you tried to kill him with the pillow?”

Your jaw tightens. How could he just utter this out as if it’s okay? He promised to protect you. He promised to keep you safe and to make sure that nothing was going to happen and now it feels like he’s trying to throw you under the bus. Was he this mad and upset? Could he not see how terrible Jaemin was?!

Letting out a shaky breath your head lowers, “yes.”

“You may continue what you were saying prior.”

A tired pathetic laugh passes your lips. Running a hand through your hair, you peek up at the man sitting across from you. A man that was supposed to be your friend, but is now a complete stranger to you. “Does it even matter? You got what you wanted. It’s done, it’s over with. No matter what I say from here on out it won’t be taken seriously. I can scream it to the heavens that I had nothing to do with Jaemin’s death but no one is going to believe me because of what you just made me say. Which if I’m remembering correctly, was supposed to be kept private after I talked to you, at Jeno’s house, off the record that is.” You decide to throw in this tidbit of information into the recording. If he wanted to take you down, you were going to be sure he was going to get accosted in some shape or form too. “So,” you look up, eyes clouded with anger. You place your hands as far out in front of you as you possibly can. “Slap the cuffs on me. I know you want to. I know you want me to be in jail. You made that clear the other night.”

Haechan reaches forward and stops the recording on his phone. “You’re fucking ridiculous,” he hisses. “Do you think I want you behind bars? Do you think I want to take a mother away from her child? That’s not what’s going on here.”

“Then what is going on? You made me confess that I tried to end someone’s life! You think I don’t feel guilt over that? You think I didn’t look at him every day and realize what I tried to do? I never wanted to do that in the first place. I didn’t want to be put into a position where I would contemplate ending someone’s life. But I was forced into that position. My rights, my freedom, my life was taken from me. I tried fighting for it by getting out of that damn maze, but I couldn’t escape. No matter how many months I was down there I never won once. I never got close to getting to the front door until I thought he was gone.

“When I finally made it to the front door and past the first two gates and attempted to step across the line to freedom the last gate closed and he materialized out of nowhere. He said he knew what was going on because I changed my behavior. He knew everything so he pretended to die. It was just another sick game of his and I fell right into his trap.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you get married to him? Why were you with him all these years?” He shouts, tears running down his cheeks. “This is the part that I don’t understand. If he was so fucking terrible why did you stay?”

Seeing Haechan unravel before you has you pulling back your wrists. Sitting back into the chair more comfortably you let out a long exhausted breath. “I lost the will to fight, Haechan. I was tired. I was scared, I was disgusted with myself most of all. I ended up pregnant because I thought I could win. Like the stupid idiot I am, I thought by showing him what he believed was love I could be let out of my cage, but I was wrong and ended up pregnant all while simultaneously trapping myself in a whole new cage.”

“Why did the wedding even happen then? Why didn’t you give us a sign?”

“I was a zombie for the longest time. I didn’t feel anything. I was only alive and breathing because of the child I was carrying. Everything else didn’t matter to me. So, I put on a mask and played a role. Even if I wanted to say something, he would have stopped me or tried to switch the subject. I hesitated for the tiniest second while I was standing before the judge with him, his hands holding mine – for a millisecond I was going to tell the judge as quickly as possible I was being held against my will, but with a strong squeeze of his hand in mine, I knew he would stop me the moment I tried.”

Suddenly a knock is placed on the door. Haechan quickly wipes his tears away before standing up. “Give me a second. Do you need anything at all? A drink? Something to eat from the vending machine?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Walking out of the interrogation room, Haechan closes the door behind him seeing Mikayla is the culprit who interrupted him. “Why did you call me out here?” He rolls his eyes in annoyance. “We were finally getting somewhere.”

Mikayla tilts her head, “that’s not what I saw. By the way, she’s innocent. Her entire body language is screaming it so you can cut her some slack. Also, if someone was willing to work out the relationship after that shit show, they are in love. Whether or not it’s a strange form of Stockholm Syndrome is a topic for another day. But, that’s only a part of why I pulled you out here,” she hands Haechan a vanilla colored folder. “It seems you’re going to be working on this case for a little bit longer.”

“What do you,” he opens the folder, his eyes scanning over the documents. “Mean…?” He looks up shocked.

“I know,” she sighs. “Good luck, you’re going to need it.”

Slapping him on the back she takes her leave. “What the fuck did you do, Jaemin?” Haechan whispers.

Haechan returns to the room with a somber look on his face. He heads straight to the table, and presses the pause button again, starting the recording once more. “You mentioned things were getting better?” He asks tirelessly.

“U-Ummm, y-yes…” You eye him suspiciously. “When our son was born he actually was ready to turn himself in. Two months prior we had a discussion and he asked me how he could make everything up to me. I knew he was sorry. I could tell with just a glance into his eyes he regretted everything, but he did what he did. I wasn’t going to forgive and forget all the pain he caused just because he spoke the words ‘I’m sorry.’ I told him the only way that he could make up for even the smallest bit of what he did was to turn himself in. He said he would, but asked for one thing and that was to see the birth of his son.

“However, just after he saw his son for the first time he was talking about making arrangements for the two of us to be well taken care of in his absence. I knew what he was talking about. I knew why he was saying everything. He asked for one thing, I obliged and he was prepared to face the consequences, but I don’t know what came over me. I didn't want him to leave. I didn’t want him to be in prison miserable, and long for the life he could have had if he didn’t fuck it up in the first place. I told him I thought it would have made him crazier if I kept him away from his kid. So, I asked instead that he seek professional help and if he did I would keep his secret.

“If I’m being honest I wouldn’t have told anyone of his wrong doings. So, the next day he sought help and went every week to a therapist. In the beginning we both went and talked about what our issues were but afterwards it was Jaemin who needed the help. He never broke that promise to me. Then, on my birthday things started to change. I don’t know if you remember the birthday party he threw for me but that’s the moment I decided to give him a second chance.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

“Happy! Birthday! To! You!!!!” Everyone sings out.

Eyes brimming with tears you glance around at all of the smiling faces. Everyone showed up for your big day. Your mom, dad, all of Jaemin’s friends, and of course your sweet little guy all day has made it his mission to make you the happiest mom on the planet. Blowing out your candles your only wish is to have more days like this.

“Thanks everyone,” you wipe your eyes before any tears fall onto your cheeks. “But you really didn’t need to do this.”

“Are you kidding?” Chenle chuckles. “How else are we going to get free food?” He jokes.

“Plus, we technically didn’t do anything,” Renjun wraps his arm around Jaemin’s shoulders. “This guy right here planned everything. He just told all of us when and where and we showed up.”

“Y-You did this?” You ask Jaemin.

Scratching the back of his head he nods bashfully. “We haven’t really celebrated your birthday. I thought I would give you a birthday to remember.”

Without realizing you spring up from your chair and wrap him in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Jaemin, truly.”

His face falls into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping around you tightly. “Anything for you…” He whispers. And just like that the moment was gone. “So, who wants cake?” He asks stepping away from you.

One by one your friends and parents come up for a slice of cake, laughing and smiling together as if these people were always meant to be in your life. As if this very moment was supposed to happen all along. Placing a hand on your shoulder, Jeno leans down, handing you a piece of cake.

“Happy Birthday,” he gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Ehhh?!!” Haechan starts pointing. “What do we have here?! I didn’t know we could kiss the birthday girl!” He puts down his cake and charges towards you.

“N-No!! Haechan!” You start backing away.

“Don’t you dare run from me, woman!” He starts laughing while approaching you. “Now give your favorite person in the world a kiss,” he puckers his lips.

“YAH!!!!” You scream but a giggle comes from you when he starts chasing you around the backyard.

“Mama!!!” Your son giggles. “Run, mama!!! Run!!!”

“I’m trying, baby!!!”

“Al…Most!!!! THERE!!!!!”

Haechan sprints for you, reaching out his hand when you collide into a body knocking the person down. A low grunt comes from beneath you. Quickly scrambling off of the victim you see Jaemin was the person who you crashed into.

“Jaemin!” You squeak. “A-Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Snickering, he sits up smiling at you. “I’m fine, but I couldn’t let anyone else kiss you before I kissed you.”

Suddenly your heart skips a beat. His smile softens, his hand reaching out for yours as he pulls you down to him. Gulping your eyes scan his for some sign that he’s joking, that he wasn’t really going to kiss you especially not in front of everyone. Behind you you hear Haechan complaining that Jaemin stole you away, but his complaints are soon muffled by the pounding in your ears, your heart picking up speed the closer Jaemin’s lips get closer to you.

“Happy Birthday,” he whispers and just as your eyes flutter, and the tips of your noses touch, he slides his hand around your neck pulling you down to him. “I love you,” his warm minty breath cascades down onto your face and just when it feels like he’s going to kiss your lips he pulls you down further to give you a kiss on your forehead.

He chuckles, sliding away from you. “Go ahead, Haechan,” he winks at his friend. “Okay so who hasn’t gotten a piece of cake yet?” He asks everyone.

“Me daddy! Me!”

“What?!!! Well come here!” Jaemin scoops up your son into his arms and walks off with him.

“Well, now you’re all mine,” Haechan’s voice brings you back to the reality you’re about to face. Before you can even object, he plants a wet kiss on your cheek. “Finally!” He laughs. “Now I can get back to my cake!”

Sauntering off, head held high you’re left on the ground still in shock. Your mind races with thoughts you’ve kept quiet for the past five years. Feelings you thought were completely gone, but now have resurfaced. 

How? When?

“Need any help?”

Looking up, Jeno has his hand stretched out. “Uh, yeah, thanks.” You take hold of his hand and he helps you up.

“Don’t mind Haechan, he's just being…well, himself.” He laughs. “I guess I should say sorry for starting all of this.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. Really.”

“Now, I know that you haven’t opened any of your gifts yet, but I wanted to give you mine personally.” He holds out a cutely wrapped box with a sparkly pink bow wrapped around it. “It’s nothing much but I saw it and thought you’d like it.”

“Je-Jeno…” you feel tears starting to well up in your eyes again. “You didn’t need to get me anything. You’ve done so much already,” you unwrap the gift to find what looks like a jewelry box inside. “Wh-What is this?” You ask opening it.

Inside is a beautiful silver heart-shaped locket. Pulling it out, he instructs you to open it and when you do one half has a picture of your son, the other, a picture of yourself, but only you. A little surprised he takes the locket from your hands.

“I had asked Jaemin what I could get for you. He said he had no idea and to get you something that would make you happy. So I said what about a locket with all three of you inside, but he said to make it extra special for you and have it of you and your favorite person in the world.”

Jeno claps the latch for you, and the new piece of jewelry dangles around your neck. “He’s a dumbass,” you mumble.

“He is, but I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries.” Jeno laughs.

Reaching in, you hug Jeno tightly. “In any case, I love this. Thank you, Jeno.”

“No problem,” he hugs you back just as tight. “And just between the two of us, inside the box there are alternate pictures for you to put into the locket, but don’t tell the dumbass I told you.”

“I won’t!” You start giggling.

The rest of the party went by without a hitch. You couldn’t have spent your birthday any better than how you spent it today. Being around those who you’re close to and sharing such a beautiful memory will go down as one of your favorite birthday’s to date, and the best part, having your little guy part of this big day as well.

“Rest well, sweetie.” You kiss your son on the cheek.

“Night night mommy,” he yawns.

Quietly you exit his room, but not before turning on his nightlight. Closing the door halfway, you peek at him one more time before heading back downstairs. In search of your husband, you head straight for the kitchen where he was last seen hunched over doing the dishes. His back turned to you, you watch him quietly. Leaning your back against the wall, your hands grow clammy as you attempt to speak to him. For the past five years you’ve barely uttered a word to him that didn’t have a purpose behind it. Not knowing how to talk to him anymore you clear your throat before walking up to the kitchen table.

Turning around at the sound of you clearing your throat, his sleeves rolled up to the bend of his arm, an apron wrapped around his waist, Jaemin stares shocked to see you… alone, in the kitchen… with him. 

“Ummm, I… I thought I would tell you juniors in his room sleeping, so if you wanted to say goodnight you might have to do so at the door.” You mumble.

Nodding, Jaemin turns back to the dishes and continues. “I’ll do that. Thanks for letting me know.”

Your fingers run down your face, exasperatedly – pulling at your bottom lids, as they stop at your cheekbones. Was talking to him always so hard? You ask yourself. “I, uh, I wanted to say thanks for today. I really appreciate it. You didn’t have to go through all the trouble, but I’m truly grateful.”

Shaking his head he turns to place a dish on the drying rack where you see the faintest hint of a smile. “It was no trouble at all. You’re a terrific mom and I wanted to do something to celebrate you. There’s no need to thank me.”

“No,” you move from the kitchen table, and head straight for him. “I really do need to thank you and for more than just the party. I’ve given you a hard time these past couple of years and while I want to apologize, I still feel like because of what happened I shouldn’t.”

Placing down the dish cloth in his hands he turns to you. “You shouldn’t apologize. What I did… I should be on my knees everyday thanking you for allowing me to be in our son’s life.”

Holding up your hands you shake your head in protest. “I want to make things better between the two of us. I want our son to grow up in a healthy household. So, I believe in order to do this I should change the picture on the one side of the locket.”

Jaemin snickers and returns to washing the dishes. “Jeno told you what I said?”

“He did. While I don’t know how to feel exactly you deserve to be in the locket as well. I wouldn’t have been able to raise our son by myself. Those first few months when he wasn’t sleeping you stayed up with him every night so I could rest. You fed him, bathed him, and played with him more than I did and it was all because you saw how exhausted I was. You’ve sacrificed so much of yourself for him as well as me.”

“It’s the least I could do after everything. I’ve royally fucked up my life, your life, and our sons’ life.”

“Jaemin…” You whisper while your heart pounds in your ears.

Turning to face you his eyes widen when your lips press against his. You hear the dish cloth plop into the water and immediately after, Jaemin grabs hold of your upper arms and pushes you away from him.

“Pl-Please…” he keeps you at arms length, his head bowing down before you. “You don’t want… You can’t do this.”

“Why can’t I do this?”

“You’re not in the right headspace. What I’ve done to you, you shouldn’t even have to look at me unless absolutely needed. Please, just get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”

“No,” you place your hand on top of his. “I kissed you because I wanted to. And if you wouldn’t mind lowering your arms, I would like to kiss you again. That is, if you’re okay with it.”

Jaemin’s arms start to lower, but he keeps a firm hold of you. “I don’t deserve your kindness… I don’t deserve your… your…” his voice gets softer and softer as you draw closer to him.

“What I give you from here on out will be what you deserve for your actions going forward. I want us to have a clean slate,” your hand slides up his chest, causing him to shrink inward. “I want what could have been, what should be, and what may be a life with you.”

Your hand travels up from his neck, skates over his collar bone, to his neck as you pull him closer to you. His eyes flutter wildly as if he’s unsure if he should accept this or flee. Then again, your eyes were doing the same weird dance as his. His pulse pounds crazily against the palm of your hand, mirroring your own. A strange desire to feel his lips on yours, and possibly (at least you hope) yours on his. Mere inches apart, Jaemin’s hand slides onto your hip making you gasp, and before you know it, his lips land on yours. 

Not wasting a single second, you wrap your arms around his shoulders trapping him in your grasp. He complies, by wrapping you in a tight embrace as well. Your lips sliding across each other’s in a feverish kiss. It felt like after years of fighting, years of distance, years of hatred, pain and hidden lust — everything was pouring out from the two of you in one single moment.

Jaemin’s tongue skates across your bottom lip asking for entrance and as if you’ve been kissing him this whole time your lips part. The once sweet gentle kiss turns to hot then wet in a matter of seconds. Your tongues sliding across each other’s a battle for dominance ensues and has both of you breathing heavy. Jaemin’s lips wrap around your tongue and immediately you become putty in his hands. Your knees give way, and quickly he pushes you against the counter for support. Holding your face in his hands he switches between sucking the shit out of your tongue, and shoving his down your throat.

Eyes watering, you grip onto him for dear life while you try to keep your wits about you. Pulling back for air both of you breathe heavily. His skin kissed with redness as he stares into your eyes like he did that night when he stole your heart. The memory smacks you in the face and before you can think about anything else, you grab the hem of your shirt and rip it over your head – tossing it onto the floor next to the two of you.

Scrambling, Jaemin unties his apron from his waist, and with shaky fingers you unbutton his button down shirt until he swiftly throws it down with yours. Your bottom lip snags between your teeth as you stare at the still sexy man in front of you. His muscles, though smaller still have your legs clenching together tightly. Jaemin grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for another kiss, this time softer, this time sweeter.

“Where to?” He mumbles against your lips.

“Your room?” You ask. “I don’t want to risk the chance of you know who seeing.”

“A little risk adds to the excitement of it all,” his lips travel from yours and down to your neck.

“And last time was my father, I don’t want this time to be our son.” Jaemin clamps down on your neck roughly causing you to moan. “J-Jaemin… please…” You beg.

Turning from you, he grabs hold of your hand and both of you rush out of the kitchen a lightness in your steps and a massive amount of giggles coming from you.

Maybe this can actually work out, just maybe…

The moment you enter Jaemin’s room, he closes the door behind you and locks it. Pressing you against it, his lips capture yours. The moment your lips touch, everything becomes blurry as you sink into the lust you’ve kept at bay. Jaemin’s hand grabs hold of your waist, pulling you closer to him. He nips your bottom lip before his lips travel to your cheeks and back down to your neck. Your eyes flutter, a smile rests on your face – lord knows how badly you’ve needed this moment, to feel someone touch you, kiss you, and caress you.

Suddenly you feel a sense of freedom. Looking down, you find your bra straps inching down past your shoulders. Giggling, you quirk a brow at Jaemin who smirks before stealing another kiss from you.

“I need to see your body again,” he confesses.

Wiggling out of your bra, he throws it across his room. His eyes go from yours down to your face, to your décolletage, and down to your breasts. Feeling a little shy, you cover yourself, but he grabs hold of your wrists pulling your arms apart.

“Never cover yourself. You’re still as beautiful as the first day I saw you,” he reassures.

“R-Really?” You ask, your face warming up by the second.

“Actually,” he takes a step back, his hand resting under his chin as he glances you over, a dark hunger in his gaze. “Now that I’m looking at you, I have to say no.”

Your head shoots up in shock, eyes instantly becoming watery. “Wh-What?”

“You’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.” He smiles sweetly. “It must be the glow of a strong, beautiful woman and mother,” he wraps an arm around you. “Honestly, you’re a lot hotter than before too.”

“Jae-Jaemin!!!!” You slap his bare chest lightly.

“If things go well,” he dips his head down placing a kiss at the center of your décolletage, “maybe we should try again – this time however, with both of us on board.” He glances up at you.

“You mean another little one?”

His lips slide to one of your breasts. Jaemin keeps a firm hold of you, your back arching up as he wraps his lips around your nipple. Nodding he sucks on the erect bud before giving it a playful nibble causing you to squeak. With one final suckle he pulls back smiling from ear to ear.

“That is, if you’re okay with the idea.”

Whether it was the crazy storm of emotions roaring through your body, the lust of wanting Jaemin to take you here and now, or deep down you would love to see your little boy have a brother or sister to play with – you eagerly wrap your arms around him, jumping up and down where you stand.

“Let’s do it!”

Jaemin chuckles as he watches you turn into the cutest person in the world before him. “Are you sure? I mean we could talk to Dr. Kwon and see if she –”

“Na Jaemin!” You state firmly. “If you do not drag me over to your bed and plow into me in the next two seconds I will never forgive you for ruining the moment!”

Before you even realize it, you’re dragged from the door and flung onto the bed with Jaemin crawling on top of you. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I ruined this moment. Your wish is my command, my love.”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Haechan covers his mouth as he turns from you. “So essentially you two –” he becomes quiet.

“Had sex and started to restore our relationship? Yes, we did.”

“But that was a long time ago. There is no saying things didn’t turn south once more.”

“It was not even three years ago, Haechan. How can you think that I would not only lie to you about what happened but actually hurt my husband? Yes, in the past I was in a different head space but that doesn’t mean that I was or am even remotely in the same headspace. We were once a family. I know what I was about to do was wrong. I know, I understand and I myself regret telling you. It was something that Jaemin and I promised we would never bring up again.”

Glancing your way, his face looking exhausted he asks, “did he really do those terrible things to you?”

Standing up you grab your purse. “If you want to know the specifics of Jaemin’s state of mind and what happened to not only myself but to him, I suggest talking to Dr. Kwon. I stopped seeing her personally after the first year. I got what I could from her, but Jaemin –  he kept his promise to me, he promised he would keep going so nothing like what he put me through would happen again, and he kept it! And I kept my promise as well by keeping my mouth shut of all the shitty things he did to me.

“The only people we ever told were Dr. Kwon, apparently Jeno (which I didn’t know Jaemin told him), and now you – or should I say and now anyone and everyone who will hear that stunt you pulled. You can be mad all you want, you can hate me, you can try to end my life yourself because what I did was terrible! But unless you were there, unless you went through what I did you have no fucking idea how badly I wanted to escape, how badly I wanted to get back to my life, to my parents!”

Opening your purse you take out one of Dr. Kwon’s business cards you took from her office. Slamming the card down onto the interrogation table in front of Haechan you turn to the door. “Call her before coming back to talk to me. I’m not running and I’m not hiding anymore. But I swear to you Haechan, I didn’t hurt him. I could never hurt him!”

You head to the door and just as you are stepping out Haechan calls your name, halting you before you take one more step. “The body,” he utters. “It’s not…it wasn’t,” he twitches with irritation. “The body wasn’t Jaemin and there are absolutely no traces of a dog there at all.”

Slowly you turn back to him, eyes widened and mouth hung open in shock. “What did you just say?”

“When I was called out I was handed that vanilla folder.” He looks down at the table before him, your eyes following as you both stare at the folder sitting haphazardly at the table's edge. “Inside is the report from not only the coroner, but also the officers on site and pictures of the scene. It’s of a person’s body, badly burnt, but they are not Jaemin’s remains. According to the coroner they seem to belong to someone by the name of, Michael Krest. Do you know who this person is?” He asks.

In that moment your body gives out and you crash to the floor, hard. “Shit!” Haechan rushes over. “Help! Please!” Within seconds multiple officers plow through the door, some almost running both you and Haechan over in their haste. “Please someone get me a water and damp towel. She just fell.” He orders the others.

“On it!” You hear one of them speak.

“You know who the man is don’t you?” Haechan asks you while you’re lifted off the floor and placed back in the chair. “Who is he?”

How can this be? You haven’t seen him in years. What was he doing at your house? Why was he at your house? And why is he dead?!

“Here’s the water!” The officer who left rushes over to you handing you the bottle but instead of taking it from him, he starts to freak out. “Ma’am, ma’am,” he gets down on his haunches trying to get you to respond. “Ma’am, please say something…”

“H…H…” you huff out the sound of the letter h.

“H?” He looks at Haechan who shrugs.

“He’s…He’s…” your body starts to tremble. “H-How?” You look at Haechan. “HOW?!” You scream as if you’re seconds from being killed – scaring Haechan, everyone in the room and those outside of it. “Why in the hell was he at our home? Why is he dead? How did he die?!!! What the fuck is going on?” You grab at the roots of your hair. “I dumped him!!!! I haven’t seen him since I left him?! Why the hell was he at my home?”

“He’s an ex?” Haechan glances down at the folder shocked.

“He never tried to contact me before. I never heard from him after I left him. Why was he at my house?” You ask Haechan, tears pouring from your eyes.

Scratching the back of his neck his eyes dart from the folder to you. “I believe I’m supposed to ask you that question.”

“Well how the fuck do I know?!” You scream once again – this time those not involved in the interrogation slowly start exiting the room, leaving Haechan alone to face your wrath. “Honestly,” your bottom lip quivers. “I haven’t seen him since I broke up with his cheating ass. There’s absolutely no reason for him to have been at my house. Hell, how did he even find me?!”

“There is a reason for him to have been at your house, and that reason is you. As to how he got there, I don’t know, did your parents meet him or something?”

“Yeah they met him once or twice in the later stages of our relationship. I thought he was going to be the one before I found him balls deep in some slut backstage.”

“Backstage?” Haechan raises a curious brow.

“He’s in a band, or was… I guess… When I saw him cheating on me I dumped him right then and there. I even cleared out his belongings from my apartment and left them at the front desk for him so I wouldn’t have to deal with him personally.”

“So you had an issue with him as well?”

Your head whips around towards Haechan, a furious glare in your eyes. Not again, not this time. He will NOT try to blame you for Michael’s death.

“Did I have an issue with him, yes I did. I was cheated on. I caught him in the act of cheating. I was pissed the fuck off – hence throwing his stuff into boxes and taking them down to the front desk. I didn’t hear from him after a simple apology note after a week of me catching him, with a simple ‘I’m sorry ~ Michael’ on it. I never once looked for him, or cared to look for him. But despite the dislike I have for him I would never wish any harm such as this to come to him. I swear, Haechan. I do not know why he was at our home.”

“I believe you,” he rubs the bridge of his nose. “But now we have a whole new set of problems. Why was he at your home in the first place? What happened to him prior to the fire before his death which appears to be smoke inhalation due to the fire. And where the fuck is Jaemin?”

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Wiggling about in ecstasy on the couch, your hands at the bend of your knees while your legs are spread wide open for Jaemin – you let out whimper after whimper as he runs his fingers up and down your glistening folds. His eyes staring daggers into yours, he watches as you come undone before him.

“J-Jaemin,” you cry out. “Please!!!”

Snickering he brings his fingers up to his lips and one by one he slides his fingers into his mouth coating them in his saliva. When he’s finished he brings his fingers back down to your pulsating core and slides them over your sensitive nub.

“Does my baby need a little attention?” He asks you sweetly.

“Mmmm…” you respond, lips clenched tightly together.

With the flick of his middle finger he starts to toy with your clit. Closing your eyes tightly you do your best not to make a single sound that would wake your sleeping child. At night and his nap time are the only times the two of you manage to have time for yourselves. And while you were expecting a little quickie when your baby is asleep – the sensational feeling of Jaemin teasing and edging you has you thinking otherwise.

“Wow, look at this,” he grabs your attention. Holding up his hand he shows you how his fingers are now coated in your juices. “You’re so wet baby,” he smiles before popping each finger into his mouth. “So good,” he hums delightfully. “But I think you can do better, don’t you?”

“B-Better?” Your body starts to grow warm all over. The goosebumps you felt in the beginning have multiplied, your breathing starts to get faster turning into small pants. Your toes wiggle and curl the more he rubs his fingers over your bundle of nerves.

“Yes, a lot better, or should I say wetter?” He gives you the darkest smirk you’ve ever seen before plunging two of his fingers into you.

Your head and eyes roll back as your grip on your legs tighten. “Jae-Jaemin!!!” You squeak. Chucking with glee, he lowers his head down to your pulsing clit and slurps up all of your juices he’s caused to spill from you. “Shit!!!” You say a little too loudly.

“Shhh, baby, don’t wake him.” Jaemin warns. “I have another round planned for us during this break.” He smiles against you.

“Th-Then go easy on me, please…” you beg.

“I can’t do that, not when you’re this irresistible.”

And with that he dives down again smothering his face into your folds. His tongue and fingers working together at lightning speed to push you closer and closer to the edge. Your chest rises and falls quickly, your mouth hangs open as saliva trails down onto your chest. Small whimpers and moans keep coming from you the more Jaemin lapse over you and rams his fingers inside of you.

“Jae-Jae-Jae…” you can’t get out his whole name as your body starts to loosen up from your grip. Your hands unclenching from your knees has them lowering down to Jaemin, but with a quick reaction he catches one of your legs which causes you to stop.

Popping his head up for a second, his lips swollen and coated in your slick he gives your clit a little lick which has you clenching around his fingers. “Keep your legs up and open for me baby. As much as I wouldn’t mind being smothered by your thighs, I want to see your beautiful face when you cum, okay?”

“Shit!” You clench around his fingers once more.

“Tell me when I’ve found the spot, alright baby?”

“Mmmmmm…” you slide down further into the couch.

Curling his fingers inside of you, Jaemin feels around trying to find your most sensitive spot. Only having found it a few other times (purely by accident as he pounded his cock inside of you until you came around him) the exact location is still trying to be blueprinted. While one hand is coaxing you into bliss, his other hand hovers over your clit, his middle finger occasionally brushing against you.

“Jaemin!” You whine.

“Not until you tell me when I’ve gotten the right spot,” he pulls his fingers out of you, but not completely.

“WAIT!” You gasp, alarming him. “Slowly push them back in,” you instruct.

Doing as instructed, Jaemin pushes his fingers back inside of you until he feels your body shake below him. Not needing a word of confirmation he curls his fingers, and goes to town pushing you beyond your wildest dreams. In a matter of seconds you go from feeling wonderful, sweetly nestled into the couch – to scrambling to sit up a little, almost as if to get away while Jaemin’s fingers work you over from both inside and out.   

“Jae-Jae-Jae!!!” You start chanting. “Faster, faster!!!!!” Foregoing your clit, Jaemin holds onto his wrist and uses both his arms to shove his fingers inside of you. “Yes! Yes! Yes!!!” You scream behind your hand to keep your voice to a minimum.

Suddenly a burst from you has your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your body quivering and shaking. Your hands grip onto the couch while wet noises come from you and fill the room along with your panting.

“That’s my girl!!!!” Jaemin smiles proudly when he sees your pussy squirting, coating his forearm, fingers, shirt and lap. “I knew you could do it.”

As you come down from your high, Jaemin drinks up the remaining juices that drip from you before standing up. “Ready for round two?” He asks while unzipping his pants. Not saying a word you open your arms wide for him – inviting him into your space to do whatever he pleases. Sliding out of his jeans and briefs he runs his soaked fingers up and down his shaft while his bottom lip is trapped between his teeth. “Shit, baby…” he runs his other hand through his newly dyed blonde locks. “I could get off just staring at you like this.”

“No…” you pout and whine sitting up onto the couch. “I want you inside of me,” you pull him towards you, his hand moving away from his cock. “Deep,” you take hold of his length. “Deep,” you give the tip a little smooch. “Deep inside of me,” you state before wrapping your lips around him, sliding your mouth and tongue up and down his shaft coating it with your saliva.

“Fuck,” he curses. “Keep it up and I’ll need to eat you out again before I’m ready to go once more,” he chuckles.

Pulling back a sinister look on your face and a speck of mischief in your eyes you wiggle your tongue across the slit of his cock. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Neither would I,” he pulls back from you, dipping down for a kiss. “But like you said so sexily, I want to be buried deep,” he starts moving down to you, your body moving away allowing him more space on the couch. “Deep,” he hikes up one of your legs while he settles in between them. “Deep inside of you,” he mumbles against your lips as he slides his cock inside of you.

Hissing at the feeling of entering you, he resituates himself until he’s comfortable. “We’ll need a third, fourth, and fifth round tonight.” He chuckles and starts to move in and out of you. “Fuck baby,” he smiles while ramming his hip into yours, your hands instinctively go to his wrists as you hold on tight. “You feel so good…” he grunts and starts moving faster driving you deeper and deeper into the couch.

Your hips meet every single thrust of his pushing both of you further into sensuous bliss…

ⓗ  ⓤ  ⓝ  ⓣ  ⓔ  ⓡ

Sitting in the car next to Jeno your mind races while your fingers are snagged between your teeth. What the hell is really going on? Your leg shakes nervously as the conversation with Haechan replays before your eyes again and again. Jaemin…He’s… but if he was why hasn’t he shown himself yet? If he was alive he wouldn’t just leave you and his son alone, right?

As you draw closer to your old neighborhood the memories of that fateful day start to replay before your eyes…

‘Babe,’ you call out to Jaemin who was upstairs in his office. ‘Can you come down here please?’

‘Mama, where are we going?’ Tiny little hands tug on your shirt.

‘Well, we’re going to have a little picnic so I can tell daddy some good news!’ You boop your son's nose.

‘What news?’

Playfully putting your hands on your hips, you puff out your cheeks. ‘Not so fast you little trickster. You’ll know when daddy knows.’

Mocking your pose he pouts. ‘But I wanna know now!’ He whines.

‘What do you want to know, little man?’ Jaemin swoops down picking him up and causing both of you to giggle.

‘Mama has a secret to tell us!’ He squeals with laughter as Jaemin throws him over his shoulder.

‘A secret? What is this secret?’ His brows wiggle.

Sighing you shake your head and turn to the picnic basket you have in your hands. ‘Like father like son,’ you wave both of them off. ‘I was hoping you could spare the afternoon for a nice picnic at the park. We can bring Nana and the boys with us too!’

Huffing behind you, you leap forward at the familiar growl of discontent from Nana. ‘Speak of the devil (literally…)’ You whisper under your breath.

‘I…’ Jaemin puts your son down, sighing. ‘Why don’t you go outside and play with Nana and the boys, okay buddy?’

‘Okay!’ He squeaks and pats his tiny lap. ‘Come on Nana, let’s go play!’

Rushing out of the kitchen you watch your son and the happiest demon dog to ever walk the face of the earth, gleefully leave out the front door to the front yard.

‘Babe, I can’t go out this afternoon. I’m expecting a call from a client. Is there any way we can reschedule?’

‘I thought that call wasn’t going to be until tonight,’ your shoulders start to slump forward. ‘Can’t you just bring your cell phone and step away when the call comes through?’

‘It’s a business call, you know I don’t take them on my personal phone. Plus, it’s an important call. I can’t exactly bring on a new client while our son is screaming –” as if knowing his cue both of you jump at the sound of your son's laughter coming through the opened door. ‘See,’ he points to the door. ‘I can’t have that going on.’

‘But I mean… not even for two hours? You can’t spare us two hours?’

Running an exasperated hand through his hair, he looks from you to the basket, to your son. ‘Really babe, I’d love to but I can’t… Not this time…’

‘I see…’ you turn from him and grab the picnic basket. ‘I guess we’ll just go and give you the evening to have your business call. We’ll be back after dark.’ You head out of the kitchen and into the living room.

‘Babe! Please!’ Jaemin shouts behind you. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I understand, Jaemin.’ You wave him off. ‘Sweetie, head over to the car and I’ll meet you there.’ You shout to your son.

‘Why does daddy look sad?’ He stops immediately when he sees Jaemin’s solemn expression.

‘Daddy can’t join us, he has a very important phone call to make.’ You bend down to him and stroke the top of his head. ‘He said he’ll join us another day.’

‘B-But the sandwiches, the secret…’ he looks back at Jaemin. ‘Daddy we need to hear mama’s secret…’

Glancing at you, you quickly turn from Jaemin. ‘We’ll find out another time buddy. Don’t worry I’ll make sure mommy doesn’t forget.’

‘Promise?’ He walks up to Jaemin holding out his tiny pink finger.

‘I promise…’ Jaemin bends down to him and wraps his finger around his baby boy's finger. ‘Now, as the man I’m going to need you to protect your mom for me while we’re apart, okay?’ He asks. ‘If any strange person tries to approach her, what do you do?’

‘GET BACK YOU CREEPY MAN!!!!!!!’ Your son shouts loud enough to scare both you and Jaemin. ‘Right, daddy?!’ He asks proudly.

Holding back a laugh, you roll your eyes. ‘That’s right,’ he gives him a kiss on the cheek before standing up. ‘Really, I’m sorry. We’ll do this again soon, okay?’ His eyes quiver with uncertainty.

Nodding, you take hold of your little boy's hand. ‘Of course, I still have a secret to tell.’

‘I’ll see you when you get back sweetie,’ he wraps his arm around your waist bringing you in for a sweet kiss.

‘Maybe we’ll be back a little earlier than expected,’ you wink. ‘Okay, let’s get to the park before all the good swings are taken!’

‘YEAH!!!!!!!!’

‘Be safe!’ Jaemin shouts as you leave through the front door.

‘We will. We’ll be back in about two hours.’

‘I’ll be here!’ He waves before closing the door.

Just as you were heading for the garage you realize you left the bag that has a blanket and a few treats and toys for the dogs inside.

‘Sweetie, come back here for a second. Mommy forgot something inside.’ You call back to your son. He runs back up to you with the two boy dogs, Nana having walked into the home after you parted with Jaemin. ‘Do you remember where you left mommy’s bag with the blanket inside?’

‘I left it by the door.’ He points to the front door.

‘Okay we just need to –’

Shaking your head you stop the rest of that memory from resurfacing. In the matter of seconds a loud, powerful, gust of wind blasted through the door sending both you and your son back and the dogs running away. Covering him up with your body you kept him safe from what felt like a raging ball of fire spewing from inside of your home.

When you felt it was safe enough to move you told your little boy to run and to not look back, but you yourself looked back to see your beautiful home engulfed in a beastly fire. Tears poured down onto your face, your legs froze where you stood – your heart reaching out to where you knew Jaemin was still inside. Almost dragging you back to the fiery beast if not for your son’s small hand clenching your own – no one could have survived that… not even…

Pulling into his driveway Jeno parks his car, turns it off and immediately you hear a tired breath come from him. “What happened?” He turns to you. “What happened with Haechan? You’ve been eerily quiet since I picked you up. Did he say something? Or,” he pauses and gulps loudly. “Did he try to hurt you again?”

“Jeno,” you whisper quietly. “What are the odds of someone surviving that fire?”

Taken aback he takes off his seatbelt so he can turn to you. “What are you talking about? You were there… and I drove back a few days after. Your house is completely leveled. No one, not even Superman himself could have survived that fire.”

“The police found a body…”

“Yeah but we both knew that, remember? That’s why you were down there to talk about the body. Did they prove you didn’t do anything?” He takes hold of your hand worriedly. “Is this mess going to end?”

“Not even close,” slowly your head turns to Jeno, a wild look in your eyes. “The body they found wasn’t Jaemin’s. It was of Michael Krest…”

“Michael Krest, who the hell is that?”

“My ex-boyfriend.”

Jeno drops your hand from his ever so slowly as he leans back, his back now resting against his car door. “What the…”

“Jeno, I think Jaemin is alive… and I think… he had someone else trapped in that maze after me…”

Speechless, both you and Jeno sit in his car in an eerie silence. Both of your heads spinning out of control with the news that you’ve just found out and uttered. Jeno was right, no one could have possibly lived through that fire, hence Michael’s body. The real questions still remain: why was Michael at your home in the first place? Did Jaemin do something terrible to him? Did he lock him down in the maze as he did to you? What caused that explosion? Is Jaemin still alive and if so, how did he escape? Is Nana with him? If he did escape and is out there why hasn’t he come to get you and your son?

“We-We should get inside and you can tell me everything that happened at the precinct. Alright?” Jeno asks in a shaky voice. “None of this makes sense…”

“You’re telling me,” you sigh, undoing your seatbelt. “Haechan did say that he was going to stop by at the end of the week so maybe he’ll have found more information by then. I just… none of this makes any sense, Jeno. None of it…”

“I’m sorry,” he reaches out and places his hand on top of yours once more. “I’m sorry for everything he’s caused and is still causing. I should have said something years ago when I found out, but I…”

Shaking your head you pat the top of his hand. “It’s okay, I did this to myself. I chose him once, then hated him, chose him again, and now I just have question after question for him. Maybe when this is all said and done I’ll finally have all the answers to them, hopefully that is.”

“Yeah, hopefully...”

Jeno gets out of the car and quickly comes over to your side and opens the door for you, and helps you get out. Giving you a secure arm to lean against the two of you walk up to his house to find a piece of paper taped to his front door, with your name on it.

“Were you expecting someone?” Jeno asks, taking the paper and handing it to you while he opens the door.

“No,” you open it up. “I…”

Immediately all the blood drains from your face, and for the second time your knees give out and you fall to the ground.

“Yah!!!!” Jeno quickly grabs hold of you and pulls you back to your feet. “What happened? Are you okay? Here, let’s get you inside…”

“Jeno…” you start crying. “Jeno….”

“What happened? What hurts?” He leads you to the couch in his living room. Crouching down in front of you, he holds the side of your face in his hands as he looks at you terrified. “What is it?” Holding out the paper to him, it shakes and jiggles frantically in your grasp. “The note?” He asks. Taking it from you he opens it and just like you, the blood drains from his face and he falls back onto his butt on the floor. “What the fuck is going on?”

Rule 8, if the hunter finds himself incapable of being the hunter then the title of hunter goes to his former prey. When this change happens it is now the new hunters job to seek out the prey.

Come find me, hunter.

~ Jaemin

[rivvyve]

It’s Tuesday!! Today’s the day to make noise.

To anyone who’s page this comes across, an assist would be amazing!

Do you like Whimsy? Supernatural Elements? A sassy evil witch that would slay (in more ways than one) on Real Housewives? Or maybe an army of cats with a tendency to swear like sailors at the beck and call of a (very) horny Cat King? Shapeshifting, Demons, the goddess that is Ruthie Connell?

Maybe you’re anticipating the next season of Stranger Things, wishing Eddie Munson would return and kiss Steve Harrington on the�� mouth. Or maybe Supernatural left a hole in your heart more all consuming than the homophobic superhell Cassie-boy found himself in. Or maybe you’re peeved with Netflix for cheating out on the final season of The Umbrella Academy. Perhaps you’re looking for a great Halloween show, spooky season is here and Harry Potter is more Christmas, after all.

May I introduce you to Dead Boy Detectives! Queer friendly, feel good, incredible storytelling, insanely kind fandom- take it from me, you can quite literally check my post history to see how rarely I post. Me and social media? PASS! And I’m an artist? Shouldn’t I be better at it to, ya know, gain a following?

Anyway, I’ve been sidetracked. To summarize, this show is good it got me on Twitter (we’re not calling it X, right? That’s just stupid). That’s a DAMN good show.

I mean, check this out:

We got a cool Boy with a Bat too!

Alternatively, maybe you want to just help out some people so they don’t lose a show they love. That would be pretty cool of you. Also valid: the chaos and sheer power of making Netflix listen to people and take back a stupid decision. Personally, that’s a solid reason- tell them they suck, bark at the CEOs, you know, fun things.

To finish off- even if you decide to pass this post up, thank you for taking the time to read. I’m sure some of you have been completely bombarded by now, and that’s probably annoying. Even if you skip this, i hope your day is well, your pillow is always cool on one side and that you never lose a show you love.

Here’s the petition if you’d like to sign for us. And seriously, give Dead Boys a shot. I sincerely doubt you’ll be disappointed 🏏💀🔍

And hey! Thank You💕

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

WTF happened with the Battle of Eregion plot!? Multiple endings, reshoots, what?

After my rants and getting stuff out of my chest, it’s time to ask: what the fuck happened? What was that underwhelming and anticlimactic finale? Because it was a trainwreck overall, and it didn’t wrap up the season, at all. There are still several plot holes in place, and the red herrings piled up to a degree that seems absolutely nonsensical.

I’ve already mentioned this before on my rant, but episodes 2x07 and 2x08 looked out of place and disassociated with the previous ones. There seems to have been an invisible cut in the storytelling.

At the finale, we have scenes that are supposed to be epic (like Adar vs. Sauron, or Sauron Dark Lord coronation and him taking control over the Orc legions) looking almost like an afterthought, and extremely disappointing and predictable. The opening scene of 2x01 (the failed coronation of Sauron as the “new Dark Lord”) was more epic and well put together than this! And I’m not just talking about visuals, but the OST was lacking in "epic"ness too (which is very unlike Bear McCreary). Compare it with, for instance, the “Balrog of Moria” scene, where we saw that epic and “wow” factor, with both the visuals and the music.

We didn’t get to see Sauron with Morgoth’s crown on his head, and they really put the “a good story for another time” with Adar’s true name and backstory, and not to mention characters that died in the previous episode coming back to life at the finale with no further explanation (Arondir). And it’s puzzling because “The Stranger”, “Númenor” and “Balrog of Moria” plots seemed somewhat logical with their previous build-up. So, what the hell happened with the Battle of Eregion plot? (which happened to be the one I was the most interested in).

Last year, there were rumours that “Rings of Power” Season 2 might have filmed multiple endings. Now, we don’t know if this is true, or not, and there’s no way of telling now. However, when one analyses the whole season, something doesn’t look right, and pieces seem to be missing. Like they did reshoots. 

For instance: the Halbrand/Sauron in Galadriel's vision in 2x04 looked far more natural and well put together than the one we got at the finale:

These are two different scenes: and the wig in the final result looked kind of bad, and poorly styled. And the background is different: in the one from 2x04 there are trees, and the sky is blue; while in the one we got at the finale they are at the ruins and the sky is somewhat clouded.

One could argue the vision scene was supposed to be different, but why have the actual end result in 2x08 look so poorly done (as if it was done in a hurry), in comparison? One would think the production team would be more careful with the actual scene than a mere seconds’ vision. No? Especially since all the other visions Galadriel had in 2x04 actually happened in the show. Why was this one different?

Even this shot of Sauron looks completely out of place in that scene we got in 2x08.

1) "Crack theory" might have not been so "crack" after all

For those of you who aren't aware, "crack theory" was the theory that Elrond in Adar's tent in 2x07 was actually Sauron.

And if that was to be revealed as a plot twist at the finale, many of the plot holes from 2x06 and 2x07 would have been solved:

What did the corpse that showed up at Eregion in 2x06 truly said for Sauron to react in such way (anxiety and worry)?

Why didn't Adar take Nenya (nor even checked) from Elrond in that scene? It was the ring he wanted to destroy Sauron. Why sacrifice more Orcs and waste time? And what guarantee did Adar have he would see Elrond again, alive or even with the ring on his possession?

Why, after obsessing over her for the whole season, didn’t we see Sauron’s reaction to Galadriel being locked in a cage, when he was right across the battlefield, at the walls of Eregion? He was at the walls with Celebrimbor and the guards when the Elven army arrives, and the scenes shows him looking in their direction. 

There were many clues that this “Elrond” was actually Sauron, in the scene itself: 

Elrond was all cleaned up, with a fresh face, and pristine clean armour and cloak, and flowing hair, after we’ve seen him arriving at Eregion with his face dirty with mud;

Elrond acting OCC: it’s been established that Elrond is a diplomatic character than values the lives of his kin (and horses). Instead, we don’t see Elrond trying to reason or deal with Adar in any way, shape or form: he taunts him about sacrificing the Orcs’ lives and doing Sauron’s biding, while going full warmongering on Adar by threating to cover the river with his children’s blood, the next minute. In this scene, Elrond is using tactic of Sauron’s playbook, by planting discord among the Orcs and further enticing the siege of Eregion. He also “planted the seeds” of Celebrimbor’s death into Adar’s mind in this scene, which I suspected to be the most likely scenario to happen (more on that later);

Adar randomly mentions Melian, the Maia who fell in love with an Elf; 

Once Elrond calls him “Adar” (“Father of the Orcs”), there is a switch on Adar’s whole demeanour, and we can even see Adar looking deeper into Elrond’s eyes, as if he was suspecting him not to be actually Elrond. Charlie Vicker did say both characters share a connection and a recognition, and Adar did recognize Halbrand as Sauron. Besides, in their scene in 2x01, what triggers Adar recognition of Sauron is also the mention of his children. Since Sauron gave him “children” (as he said to Galadriel in 2x06), the mention of it might, indeed, prompt some sort of immediate recognition in Adar.

Elrond removes the pin in front of the Orcs soldiers and not one sees or says a thing about it. The Orcs are one thing, but he boldly faces Adar with his pin missing, and this corrupted elf, with thousands of years old, doesn’t even notice it?

At night, we have a scene of Sauron looking over the Orc camp, which anxiety and worry on his face, when no one was watching him. Apparently, for no reason at all (perhaps he was deceiving the audience, too).

Where could Sauron ever get the pin? We know Galadriel loses her cloak and pin in 2x04, when she faces the Orcs and gets captured by Adar. If Sauron was keeping an eye on her (pun non intended), he could have retrieved her pin there. And this would also explain Sauron's reaction to the corpse in 2x06: it was a message from Adar revealing that he had Galadriel in captivity.

Besides, Elrond's pin is square-shaped and fits the circle. While the one he used on the tent scene with Adar is diamond-shape (like Galadriel’s) and is placed on top of the circle (not inside). These were two different pins. 

Instead, it turned out to be just Elrond on steroids for some reason. But why I was so certain this theory could actually happen?  

“Last Temptation” featured a rendition of “Kiss OST” with Sauron’s theme on the background (this would most likely be the track for this reveal); 

We don’t see Adar at Eregion in 2x08. At all. He’s the leader of the Orc legions, but he’s just chilling in the woods?

2) Which causes me to believe Adar's scenes at Eregion were cut from the final result.

Why? Because he was probably the one set to kill Celebrimbor, and not Sauron. Because he was the leader of the Orc army.

Elrond’s father prophecy that, one day, Celebrimbor’s life would be in Elrond’s hand was mentioned twice in “Rings of Power”, in the Season 1 and in 2x04, when he and Galadriel discuss the visions she saw through Nenya. So, there’s one prophecy down the drain, and anothe red herring. Because Elrond couldn't win a freaking battle all by himself. This prophecy implied a more direct involvement on Elrond's part.

Elrond didn’t witness Sauron killing Celebrimbor and even that scene (even though amazingly acted by the Charlies, because they are great actors), seemed kind of underwhelming and an afterthought, with only a handful of Orcs showing up. Where was Adar? Wasn’t he obsessed with finding and killing Sauron? Wasn’t he supposed to be there, too? 

Sauron taking control over the Orc legions in 2x08 also felt deeply anticlimactic, and like an afterthought. He just talks to them? They are like "ok! Adar out, Sauron in!" These Orcs ain’t loyal! He doesn’t need the One ring like in the books? What? 

Even Elrond and Gil-galad's scene at Eregion looked incomplete and lacking, probably because they were set to have some kind of encounter with Adar, than just watching some scrolls being burned by the Orcs. 

And, in the moment, Sauron (not Adar) killed Celebrimbor, I knew they would never have Galadriel succumbing to Sauron (even though that’s where the foreshadowing placed throughout the season hinted at), let alone kiss him. Because that wouldn't do well with the casuals and the general audience, and would most likely tarnish Galadriel’s character.

And so, 2x08 erased all the clues, foreshadowing and build-up, and replaced Galadriel and Sauron with one-dimensional characters embodying “good” vs. “evil”. All of Galadriel’s inner conflict is gone, and she’s now pure and Virgin Mary-type (just like the lorebros wanted her to be). And Sauron is the ultimate pure evil, and his desire for redemption from Season 1 never actually existed, he was big bad all along, and did I mention just how bad he is? Because the showrunners wanted you to know that.

The showrunners either reshoot stuff or already had these scenes filmed (multiple endings scenario)

But some of them look so careless, I’m more sold on the “reshoot” explanation.

And we have OSTs that aren’t used in their integrity or seemed out of place with the scene in question: for example, “Last Temptation” track was supposed to be Galadriel and Sauron’s scenes, but the score isn’t fully used and some bits were actually cut from the final result, and replaced by "Fall of Galadriel". Why? 

My guess is the show-runners chickened-out of delivering the story they were setting up in Season 2, which was Galadriel succumbing to Sauron's temptation. And having him kiss her, even through an illusion, was too risky. Maybe because they felt it could somewhat "redeem" Sauron in the eyes of the general audience, or make him look weak or whatever. Or they just wanted to please the lorebros. Even though they turned Sauron into a "simp", until he wasn't and he's just a player now? It's hard to keep track when they keep ret-con their own story.

So, Sauron takes Adar's role, and Adar is now Sauron in Galadriel's arc, with her actually considering living in peace with the Orcs... because reasons? After they basically burned down all of the Eregion. Wait, yes, it's only bad if it's Sauron doing it. What?

Or maybe they just wanted to have the cake and eat it too? That as well. But still, I think they did reshoots because some of these scenes at the finale were very bad and poorly done in an overall good season as if little mind went into writting and producing them.

[cecilysass]

Why I Think The X-Files Isn’t Really As Much About Watergate and Governmental Conspiracy As Everyone Claims, Maybe Including CC

This one’s really nerdy, get ready.

Media covering the X-Files has always emphasized how much the show capitalizes on a post-Watergate worldview, a paranoia about government and belief in high-level conspiracy. I think CC signed on to this interpretation entirely. So much so that he sure kept on feeding those conspiracy plot lines in the mytharc—even when every other plot line was going hungry. 

So much so that in the revival, he really created a problem for himself, which the media picked up on. Government conspiracy nuts in 2016 no longer were hot sensitive 90s guy outcasts like Mulder or quirky cuddly little nerds like the Gunmen. Government conspiracy nuts in 2016 were media savvy right wing commentators manipulating the masses, getting presidents elected through willful misinformation.  The revival series tried to address this head on with Tad O’Malley, a character who represented this new development. But it was definitely a sticky issue: the sociopolitical context of the original show was gone. Was the show relevant any more?

I would argue yes, or at least it could have been. I would argue that the interpretation of the XF as a show primarily about conspiracy at high levels of power and governmental manipulation is a flawed one to begin with. I think this take makes the show way too thematically narrow, limits it, and obscures the show’s more important appeals.

In the 1990s, media coverage of the show almost always mentioned Watergate the historical event. Sometimes coverage discussed how Watergate was directly referenced on the show (Deep Throat, meetings in parking deck, CSM and Diana both living in the actual Watergate), but also Watergate’s specific effect on creator Chris Carter, who specifically cited it as a formative event. Often it was claimed that the show’s popularity with audiences was rooted in post-Watergate suspicion of government.

I think this could have been true generally speaking, although I always thought it somewhat overestimated the impact of Watergate on the XF’s target audience. Consider that in 1997 many in the key 18-49 demographic would not even remember Watergate especially well, or at all. If you were 30 in 1997, you were 6 when the story broke in 1973. I’m sure that could have left a mark on you, but I also think it might have been something that simply left a much bigger impression on Boomers the age of Chris Carter himself.

Me? I was in college in 1997, and I was nonexistent / unborn during Watergate. So I didn’t remember it, and it held no personal significance in my worldview regarding the United States. I don’t think it ever would have occurred to me to trust that the government was telling me the truth all the time, and I wouldn’t ever be shocked to learn I was being intentionally misled. As a late Gen Xer growing up in the Reagan administration with post-Watergate ideas floating in the air, I just assumed the worst from the get-go.

So I admit: sometimes the earnest speeches from Mulder and Scully about the Truth and being lied to from men in power and a government we purport to trust seemed a little repetitive and obvious to me. It’s taken me a while to realize that these speeches are voicing something very specific and historically real, the furious indignation of Boomers that we can’t trust our institutions. I think I felt like, yeah, okay, okay, I get it. I never had the same kind of trust in institutions to lose in this respect, but this was a major betrayal for people my parents’ age.

All of this to say, I don’t think that the conspiracy worldview and the appeal of the paranoia about government was a big part of the draw for me. I’m not saying it wasn’t for many or even most others. But my instinct about storytelling is that that is a little too abstract or bloodless of an appeal to really hook most viewers anyway. Like, you might be interested in conspiracy to get you to watch initially, sure, but that’s probably not going to keep you watching for years. And it’s really not going to be enough to motivate you to tune in to a revival series in the 2010s.

So what was the big hook for viewers? You’re probably expecting me to say MSR, and if so, I’m going to surprise you a little. I do think that was part of it for some percentage of viewers, but I think it is more complex than that.

I think the show tapped into a late 20th century urge for individuals to become part of something greater than ourselves. Something we might think of as numinous or transcendent. Maybe something meaningful and good (like a quest for truth) — or maybe something that will look down and judge us, for good or ill. Something that means that we are not lonely in the universe. This puts X-Files squarely in an overall 1990s angels and aliens otherworldly trend. 

(Personally, and this could be an only me thing, but I can never quite separate out Tony Kushner’s Angels in America and The X-Files in my mind; Angels debuted on Broadway the same year X-Files first aired, and I was exposed to both at about the same time. They’re both about apocalypse and personal crisis and the end of the millennium and the transformative power of authentic relationships with others. I could do a whole thing on this.)

The desire for transcendence is the part of the show that is summed up by Mulder and Scully watching lights together in the sky, by Mulder’s wonder at seeing ships or aliens, by the entire notion of “I Want To Believe,” by the idea expressed in the last episode of the original series that both Mulder and Scully share—that the dead aren’t lost to us, that “they speak to us as part of something greater than us - greater than any alien force.” Mulder says to Scully that if “you and I are powerless now, I want to believe that if we listen to what’s speaking, it can give us the power to save ourselves.” There’s definitely a part of the show that is about little lonely human beings finding how they fit in a big, unfeeling universe.

The show's interest in conspiracy figures into this. Because after all, what are conspiracy theories but reassurance that there is some meaning behind everything after all? That there is some powerful system running the show, even if that system might be kind of evil. A grand organized secret an individual can actually uncover, rather than a bunch of random haphazard incompetence and chaos. I think this is part of the show's interest in transcendence, but only one part.

And there’s also part of the show that’s about a hero who is wracked with loneliness and alienation — and then two heroes who are wracked with loneliness and alienation—finding a kind of salvation in Truth, in Justice, in Trust, in Partnership, and, ambiguously, Love. (Sometimes Mulder sounds more like a 19th century Romantic hero than anything else.) This makes it a little allegory about late 20th century individualism and alienation and desire for meaning and authenticity and connection with others. 

I think what appeals to people emotionally in the show is that part of us that wonders: is there a universe that pays attention to me? Is there anyone who listens to me and who really, really knows me? Does anyone besides me care what is true and what is a lie? Will I find those who are lost to me and repair the parts of me that are broken? Is there anyone who would give up their life for mine?

I think that the desire to connect with others is a really basic human drive, and it’s most obviously foregrounded in the show the Mulder-Scully partnership. Even romance aside, we see from the first episode that these are two people with distinct worldviews who want to communicate, who see something in one another, who are hungry to be understood by one another. They ultimately see the other person as someone who reflects and affirms who they are. The partnership is definitely the emotional hook of the show, whether you see that as a romantic ship or not, and it thematically echoes the show’s overall themes of wanting there to be more in the universe. 

When the show was at its most emotionally devastating, it was one or both of its protagonists losing a relationship or connection that was important to them, or it was their frustration that their efforts were not meaningful on a larger scale: grief over a loss, a coverup that meant Justice wasn’t served or Truth was concealed.

When the show’s moments were most emotionally triumphant, they were always moments of overt connection, usually between Mulder and Scully, both more dramatic (“you’re my touchstone”) and subtle (reaching out to take a partner’s hand in Pusher or Field Trip). When there were moments of triumph concerning the government conspiracy, it felt more allegorical, like information (Truth) getting free, not progress made in specific governmental reform or anything. 

(And honestly, the moments of triumph against the conspiracy were pretty few and far between. We left the original run of show with the protagonists on the run, pretty sure there was going to be an alien invasion in coming years that had been facilitated by complicit human conspirators, so this conspiracy thread of the plot apparently didn’t even seem like the most important and emotionally satisfying story to resolve.)     

CC wrote a NY Times piece addressing the changing landscape on conspiracies in 2021, discussing why he was skeptical of a new UFO report. He was perceived as having the authority to write this because he created a show that quintessentially addressed government conspiracies about visitors from space.

But for me, the question of whether the government was hiding evidence of extraterrestrial life was really not the main takeaway from TXF. At least no more than the question of whether there needed to be an investigation into the undue influence of witchcraft in Scotland was my main takeaway of Macbeth.

I do acknowledge that I may have been in the minority. Maybe this is not how most people felt. But I also wonder if sometimes the urge to make the show primarily about political paranoia became a distraction from what it did best—these larger, more universal themes. I wonder if that is partly what was so frustrating about the storytelling of the revival.

[whisker-biscuit]

Sonic Big Bang 2024

Close Encounters of the Grim Kind

Rating: Gen

Summary: Sonic did end up telling his friends about the Shatterverse, but it’s clear to Tails that he's still hiding something. In an effort to find answers and with Shadow’s reluctant help, he uses the Paradox Prism to create a device capable of jumping dimensions. When he sends it out, however, what was meant to be a one-way trip returns to him with a cryptic greeting from a stranger who seems interested in researching the dimensions with him.

Now, Tails finds himself trying to solve two mysteries - why Sonic is acting so weird around him, and who this unorthodox, anonymous cross-dimensional pen pal really is.

It's a lot harder than it looks.

--------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

The day Sonic finally told his friends about the Shatterverse and all that entailed within it, Tails had no idea how significant it would truly end up being.

He, his brother, Amy, and Knuckles were gathered together at the beach. The fox was in the pilot seat of the plane, adjusting some of the inner controls, while everyone else lounged about. They all listened with rapt attention as Sonic described the disaster that would have happened had he smashed into the Paradox Prism – the disaster that had already happened, if events were to be believed.

Frankly, it wasn’t very hard to go along with the idea. Weirder stuff went on in their lives at least twice a year; dimensional and/or timeline shenanigans sounded like par for the course.

“A bunch of miniature dimensions, huh?” Tails drummed his fingers against his screwdriver, thinking about the logistics of such a thing. Alternate universes were an aspect of quantum physics that he’d never delved very deep in.

“Yep! There was a pirate dimension, a jungle dimension, and even a dimension with five Eggmans!” Sonic shuddered and stuck out his tongue. “I always thought ours was bad enough, but then I met an Eggman baby. That’s one memory I’ll never be able to get rid of.”

“Did you kick the Eggman baby’s butt?”

“Knuckles!” Amy scolded.

“What?” The echidna asked defensively. “It’s a valid question! If that version of Eggman was still evil, then I don’t see why you wouldn’t also teach him a lesson.”

“Oh, trust me, he was definitely evil. Kicking his butt was extremely satisfying.”

Knuckles folded his arms with a self-satisfied smirk he tossed Amy’s way. She huffed and rolled her eyes, gesturing for Sonic to continue his story.

“There weren’t just other versions of Eggman, though,” he said with an excited gleam in his eye. “Every dimension I visited had new versions of you guys! Even Rouge and Big and Froggy!”

“Ooh, really?” Amy clasped her hands together. “What were we all like?”

“Well, the pirate versions of you all talked with these funny accents and were on a ship’s crew together. Knuckles was your captain but he was a big bonehead.”

“Hey!”

Tails smiled, going back to the wiring in the Tornado as he listened to the hedgehog tell them all about this strange new adventure that he’d found himself in. One eye he kept on his work, the other he kept on Sonic to show he was still paying attention, tuned into the rhythm of his brother’s storytelling just as much as the words themselves – and that was the only reason he caught the stumble.

Sonic was in the process of telling them how the Chaos Council had put the entire Shatterverse in jeopardy by punching holes between dimensions using shards of the Paradox Prism, and that he, Shadow, and an alternate version of Tails had stolen the shards back and were planning to put the prism back together. Then he paused, very briefly, and sheepishly admitted that they were unsuccessful before the Council had caught up.

That pause had been barely half a second long, but for the hedgehog it might as well have been a full minute. Tails stopped working as Knuckles began teasing Sonic for letting any version of Eggman be faster than him. He watched his brother carefully, noting the tension in his quills that the fox could only see from his place in the cockpit above. To the others, it seemed like Sonic was embarrassed about his failure, but Tails knew that wasn’t what it was.

Embarrassment was fidgeting in place and wanting to change the subject immediately. It was not standing rigidly with fingers twitching like they wanted to curl into fists, nor was it too-loud laughter at the ribbing his friends were giving him.

The fox quietly placed his tools in his lap and turned his full attention onto his brother.

When the teasing finally stopped and Sonic got back to the rest of his story, it felt different than before. More pauses, shorter descriptions of events, and vague answers to questions about how the Shatterverse was saved from ripping itself apart. The hedgehog’s expression was tight with sadness as he told them of the goodbyes he’d shared with all the different versions of his friends before he and Shadow found their way back to Green Hill.

“Don’t get me wrong, I was so excited to see you guys again – the real yous instead of those weird ghost holograms – but I also knew it was a permanent goodbye for them. All those different versions of you…they were still their own people, with their own goals and dreams and lives. I got to know each of them, and it was hard to walk away knowing I’d never see any of them again.”

“It’s not like you to dwell on goodbyes,” Amy said gently.

“I know. I just…” Sonic glanced up at Tails, then looked away immediately before their gazes could properly meet. The fox narrowed his eyes in confusion. “It was really bittersweet, in the end. I wish you all could have met each other.”

As Amy pondered over what her “sisters” might have been like and Knuckles pointedly declared that the other hims would have probably just gotten on his nerves, Tails’ namesakes curled around each other in a slow mimic of his flying movements. It seemed like the hedgehog was simply melancholy over the loss of his new friends, but it still felt…off. Like there was something he hadn’t told them, or even something that Tails had missed, that was obscuring the whole picture of his experience.

He briefly considered asking Sonic outright when they were alone later, then immediately nixed the idea. His brother was open about nearly everything right up until he suddenly wasn’t, and then pulling information from him was just as hard as convincing Knuckles to part with the Master Emerald for more than a week.

“Do you think the other dimensions are still out there even though you put the Paradox Prism back together?”

Everyone fell silent as they all looked up at the fox. Sonic’s mouth pulled sideways like he wasn’t sure how to answer.

“I mean, I assumed they are. Don’t really like thinking of the alternative.”

“I’m sure they are!” Amy was quick to reassure. “You can’t just unmake a bunch of worlds once they exist, right? And you said it yourself, Sonic – the Shatterverse collapsing only happened because the Eggmen misused the Prism Shards. All you did was make them whole again.”

Tails tapped the end of his screwdriver twice against the Tornado’s steering wheel. An idea was starting to develop in his mind, formed from a swirl of thoughts and his admittedly shallow knowledge of Quantum Physics. He kept it to himself, however, as he continued to study his brother’s body language and the tension still present there.

Just a few days later, that particular tension was gone from Sonic but the idea was still firmly in the fox’s head. He took every physics book he had that touched the subject, plus several that were “liberated” from one of Eggman’s laboratory libraries, and began researching. It didn’t take very long for him to conclude that no matter what theories he read about, or potential blueprints he began to draw up, he wasn’t going to make it very far on speculation alone.

If this idea was to become tangible, then he needed the Paradox Prism. And achieving that, Tails remembered with a grimace, would be more difficult than any mathematics he puzzled through.

He could only hope that its keeper would be in a good mood.

-------------------------------------------------

Contrary to popular belief, Shadow was not particularly difficult to find. He was a creature of habit, much like Sonic. The real issue was that those habits tended to seem erratic at best and completely nonsensical at worst to anyone who didn’t know them well. To the average person, Sonic was flighty and never settled down in one place for long, and Shadow just couldn’t be found to begin with.

But Tails was not an average person, and he had a lot of experience in tracking down speedy hedgehogs.

There was a large waterfall in Green Hill that overlooked an even larger lake. It cascaded constantly down from a giant cliffside that was difficult to climb and get down from. Sonic avoided the area entirely unless absolutely necessary, but Tails loved to practice his aerial maneuvers there. It was for those three reasons – his many visits, the general seclusion, and the consistent lack of Sonic – that the fox knew how much Shadow preferred the place, too.

It was here that he looked for the black hedgehog first. He started at the base of the cliff, shielding his eyes against the sun as he peered up past the waterfall while lake water lapped just a few inches short of his shoes. After a minute or so of squinting and scanning, Tails caught sight of a dark figure standing at the very top of the cliff, arms folded and looking out at the scenery.

Excited, the fox began to fly up towards him, making his presence known as obviously as possible so Shadow knew he wanted to talk. He felt the moment those piercing red eyes snapped over to him. The fur on the back of his neck prickled by instincts honed from years of Eggman battles before settling down immediately afterward, recognizing the gaze as non-threatening.

That didn’t mean the hedgehog was happy to see him, though. Irritation was visible in every line of his face when Tails touched down a few feet away from him.

“Is Sonic with you?” Shadow asked, in a tone of voice that suggested he was going to teleport at the first syllable of a ‘yes.’

“No, he doesn’t know I’m here. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

One black-furred eyebrow rose in mild surprise. He tilted his head the tiniest bit forward to acknowledge he was listening.

Tails took a deep breath and took the plunge without wasting another second. “I know you have the Paradox Prism. I was hoping to run some tests –”

“No.”

The answer came so strong and curt that it made Tails’ mouth click shut before he even registered what was said. He blinked, caught off guard by both the reaction and the way Shadow’s entire body seemed to tense. It almost looked like he thought the fox was going to attack him, which was as bizarre an assessment to make as the realization that Shadow saw him as a viable threat.

“Why not?” He asked, thoroughly confused. “I didn’t even tell you what kind of tests I’d be conducting.”

“It doesn’t matter what kind; the answer remains the same. The Paradox Prism isn’t something to be tampered with.”

Tails resisted the urge to let out a huff. “I’m not going to tamper with it. I just want to learn more about those other dimensions Sonic was talking about.”

“Then ask him about them and stop wasting my time.”

The hedgehog turned on his heel and began walking away. The hum of his hover shoes coming to life threatened only a few seconds left before he disappeared entirely. Tails knew his one and only chance was slipping out of his grasp.

He didn’t think; what came out of his mouth next was pure panic.

“I think something’s wrong with Sonic!”

Shadow froze mid-step. The fox blinked and then suddenly they were an inch apart. That unreadable glare seemed twice as potent now as it searched his face for any kind of deception.

“…Elaborate,” the hedgehog finally said in a quiet yet uncompromising demand.

“W-Well, he told us about the Shatterverse, and you guys trying to get home, but I feel like he’s…omitting things?” Tails paused, thinking over the last week or so. “He’s been clingier, too. He wants to hang out with everyone more than usual. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him plan so many get-togethers before now.”

Bringing everyone together had usually been Amy’s or Tails’ idea, and Sonic always popped in at the last minute or stumbled into the group in the middle of a run. Now, he was asking them all to hang out so often that Knuckles had threatened to slug him if he didn’t leave him alone for at least a day.

“And then, yesterday…he got really upset when he couldn’t find me.”

Tails remembered it vividly. He’d made an impromptu trip to the nearest junkyard in search of parts for his idea, forgetting to leave a note for potential visitors because of how short the excursion was, and had come back to his workshop in disarray and one agitated hedgehog looking ready to tear down the walls in search of him. His brother had grabbed him in a tight hug without any words, visibly shaking, and had stayed with him in the workshop for hours afterward. There hadn’t been any explanation; Sonic had remained tight-lipped in embarrassment and so Tails had assumed it had to do with the brief loss of his friends during his Shatterverse adventure.

But putting that odd encounter alongside the clinginess and simultaneous avoidance now, it was starting to paint a much more concerning picture. The fox wanted to kick himself for not connecting the dots sooner. Hyper-fixating on a new invention was no excuse.

Shadow was still watching him. Tails took a deep breath and spread his hands out in an honest, pleading gesture.

“I’m just really worried about him. I think there’s stuff he’s not telling me, and I don’t know how to approach him about it.”

“What makes you think studying the Paradox Prism will help with that?” The hedgehog’s voice was flat but no longer as harsh. He had a funny look in his eye that was impossible to place.

“I want to figure out whether those other dimensions are still out there. If they are, I think it will perk Sonic up. But the only way I’ll know for sure is with the Prism’s help.”

Silence floated between them for a long time. Tails swallowed the urge to continue making his case, and instead waited as patiently as he could for Shadow to come to a decision. A myriad of emotions flitted across the other’s face, all small and fleeting and unreadable.

“…Fine. I’ll let you look at it.”

“Really?” The fox gasped, excited, but Shadow held up a hand before he could say anything else.

“On three conditions. One: that I’m present the entire time you’re with it. Two: that you do exactly what you told me you want to do and nothing more. No using it to power machines unless it’s explicitly for finding other dimensions, no tampering with it or trying to break it apart, and no additional investigations. I don’t care how fascinated you are with it.”

“Okay, I can do all of that. What’s the third condition?”

“That you don’t involve Sonic in your studies.”

Tails frowned. “Why would I involve –”

“Agree to all the terms, Fox, or you’re not seeing a hint of that crystal.”

“I agree!” He replied, quick as he could before the hedgehog changed his mind. “You’ll be with me the whole time, I won’t mess with it, and Sonic stays out of the process.”

“Good.”

With the deal struck, Shadow nodded once before walking off again. The fox watched him, uncertain, until he threw a glance over his shoulder.

“Are you coming or not?”

Tails didn’t need to be asked twice.

-------------------------------------------------

And so, two hours later, they were both back in Tails’ workshop with the Paradox Prism floating innocently in the middle of a containment chamber. Shadow leaned against the closed garage door – which he had demanded stay locked while they were working – eating out of the can of raw coffee beans he’d requested when Tails had offered food. It would have been quite the sight if he wasn’t already used to the bizarre black hole of a stomach that belonged to his brother.

Maybe liking weird food was just a hedgehog thing.

The fox, meanwhile, was in the middle of making complex calculations as he studied the Prism, adjusting for energy levels and power output with every spike that appeared on his scanner. He was quickly realizing that developing technology that could reliably run on this energy was going to be a careful balancing act; it fluctuated sporadically in seemingly indecipherable patterns, and every sudden jump was volatile at best, downright dangerous at worst.

If not for all his research into chaos energy, handling the Prism would’ve been infinitely harder. Their properties weren’t all too dissimilar, now that the thought crossed his mind, and it took a lot of willpower not to get sidetracked by that line of theorizing. The promise he’d made to Shadow was one he intended to keep no matter how painful it was for his scientific mind to ignore every other possibility.

“What are you doing now?”

The hedgehog’s question broke the melody of furious pencil scribbling. It was a common occurrence while Tails worked; he barely even glanced up when he answered.

“I think I’ve finally isolated the most benign wavelengths of energy the Paradox Prism is giving off. Using that, I can power the interdimensional device without risk of it exploding.”

“What is this interdimensional device for?” Shadow asked, suddenly right behind him.

Tails absolutely did not jump, but the grip on his pencil went tight as he pulled back from his blueprints a bit to blink owlishly at his suspicious companion. “I told you already – it’s to determine whether those miniature dimensions still exist.”

“How is it going to do that, exactly?”

The fox resisted a great urge to sigh. “It’s just going to be a probe. If prism energy is capable of making things jump between dimensions like Sonic said, then even a tiny amount will make my invention cross the theoretical inter-dimensional barrier and hopefully tell me what’s out there.”

“Hmph.” Shadow’s eyes darted across the schematics laid out on the table. It was hard to tell how much of it he understood, but Tails had a feeling it was more than most people usually could. “Remember: only for this function.”

“Loud and clear, sir,” he mumbled with a roll of his eyes before he could stop himself. The hedgehog’s glare sharpened considerably, but he went back to his place against the door to finish off his coffee beans without another word.

Now that Tails had successfully found a safe power source from the Prism, it was time to actually build the device that would make use of it. He wasted no time getting to work – grabbing scrap metal and wiring and as many tools as he could carry, then starting the process of putting together his newest invention piece by piece. Just like with anything powered by the chaos emeralds, the probe couldn’t simply be built and then pumped full of Prism energy. Every aspect and every addition had to be tested for durability. If it could channel its power source without issue, then he moved onto the next section and repeated the testing process. If it couldn’t, then he had to rework his calculations completely until it wasn’t at risk of frying from a single jolt of energy.

A tedious endeavor, but one he enjoyed wholeheartedly just for the way it occupied his mind. The fact that success meant a new, fully-functional invention was just the icing on the cake.

When at long last the fox was satisfied that his interdimensional probe wouldn’t blow up the moment he turned it on, he swiveled in his chair to hold it up triumphantly. Shadow, to his credit, had not made another sound nor moved a single inch through the hours it had taken to complete the device. He peered at it with a mix of curiosity and wariness.

“Are you going to send it out, now?”

“Yeah, but first…”

Tails turned it around in his hands to reveal a tiny screen and keyboard on one side, pulled straight from Knuckles’ most recently-busted flip phone. He typed in a string of code and watched with a satisfied snicker as a message appeared on the screen in response.

– Hello Worlds! –

“What is the purpose of that?”

“Tech joke.” He placed a solid metal cover over the keyboard, but left the screen visible. “I doubt anyone is going to find this, because it’s supposed to only travel through the space between dimensions, not actually visit them, but it’s funny to think about.”

“Hm.”

If Sonic were here, he probably would have told Shadow to lighten up. Tails, on the other hand, was much more aware of the precarious state of their arrangement, so he didn’t do that.

Was definitely thinking it, though.

Before turning the device on, the fox double checked that its connection to the Miles Electric was strong and secure. Sending it out without a way to relay information back would have been a silly mistake to make. Confident that there was nothing else to be done, he flipped the single switch on its underside, and they both watched as it hovered out of his hands for a few seconds before disappearing in a flash of rainbow light.

Shadow eyed the spot where it had just been, expression tight, then lifted the Paradox Prism’s container with ease. “Keep me informed on what you find. I’m…curious, as well.”

“Okay.”

Their gazes locked for one brief moment before the hedgehog also disappeared with his charge – in a green flash instead. Tails let out a long exhale. He was exhausted but in a good way, like running a marathon and beating your best time.

He checked the Miles Electric. Nothing yet. That was to be expected; interdimensional travel was probably not as instantaneous as Sonic made it out to be. All he had to do was wait.

So, he waited. And waited.

And waited.

A week passed with no signal. Not a single, shallow blip on his radar to show that the probe had survived its attempt at escaping the barriers between their dimension and whatever lay beyond. Disappointed but not entirely surprised over the possible failure, the fox stopped checking for it as often. Every hour dropped to a few times a day; a few times a day dropped to only once per day. As yet another week began creeping by with nothing to show for it, he finally took the Miles Electric off his desk and put it away to make room for other, more pressing projects.

The device might have ended up a bust, but that didn’t mean there weren’t other ways to confirm the existence of the Shatterverse. Tails began sketching up tentative ideas for his continued research. He didn’t have any Prism energy left to work with, though, and Shadow probably wasn’t going to be as generous if he asked for help again. The power to cross dimensions was going to be the biggest hurdle.

Just as he was debating whether chaos energy would work as a potential substitute, there was a sudden flash of rainbow light to his left. The fox startled, whirled around with his hands up in preparation for a fight – and stopped.

Stared.

There was his device, hovering in the air. Tails’ ears twitched as the Miles Electric suddenly let loose a muffled cacophony of sounds from within the desk drawer; the familiar, loud pings that meant a probe had been successfully connected to. Stunned and unable to think of doing anything else, he slowly reached out to stop its hovering and hold it instead.

From the way he had grabbed it, the little digital screen was visible. Tails looked down at the message and felt his heart skip a beat.

[ hello stranger ]

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A/N: Several months ago I joined the Sonic Big Bang event, and today is the culmination of that event where we flood the fandom with fics and art! We are Sonic Fans and we cannot be stopped lol. Expect a chapter release every day until the fic is finished!

The fantastic artists paired with my fic are @currantlee, @phantom-howl, and @dewdropdraws. I'll link their artwork when it's all posted, please please check them out cause they're all wonderful! Thanks so much to @sthbigbang for hosting this and letting me participate! I had a blast!

[rorywritesjunk]

No longer locked upon the land but free on the rolling waves

You and Buggy come face to face with himself from the past, and while you're fully accepting that this is your husband as a child, Buggy doesn't want to accept it.

Rating: PG-13ish, but just due to some swearing.

Warning: Upset kid, upset husband. Reader is way too nice, doesn't necessarily take husband's feelings into account as well.

A/N: A combined request. I did a few versions of this story before feeling like it hit the marks I was wanting to hit. Also, I'm just trying to vibe off what I've seen of Kid Buggy. I'm no expert. I'd protect that kid with my life. He's so adorable. I also like the trope of "Meeting your self from another time" and "gets turned back into kid-self". This is the former, and I know shit about time travel but I just kind of made something up. Also, kelpies. Are they in One Piece? I honestly don't know but I love kelpies and needed an excuse to mention them.

Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6/Epilogue

Chapter One

You would have thought you drank the pub dry the night before and were still drunk with what you were seeing in front of you. Except you very much didn’t drink. You stayed back on the ship, wanting a quiet night while the rest of the crew and captain went to drink the pub dry. You were perfectly sober, no hangover in sight, but you really weren’t sure what you were staring at.

Blue hair, red nose, and a scowl you knew all too well was in front of you, clutching something in his little hands while looking you up and down. “What?!”

“I… don’t know.” Which was true, you didn’t know. The kid in front of you looked every bit like the captain who was currently sleeping back on the ship, having managed to find his way home without falling off the docks and into the water to drown(this time). He never mentioned having a kid, ever, and considering how long you knew the captain and your relationship with him, and guessing the kid’s age, you would have been having a very serious talk about infidelity and why keeping your love child a secret? Seriously? wasn’t good for relationships. 

“Why are you staring at me?!” The kid snapped. “Don’t stare at me!”

“Sorry!” You smiled and knelt down in front of him. “You just look so much like someone I know, I was confused. I promise I wasn’t staring.”

The kid was on guard, tense, and looked ready to bolt, but you were curious. He just looked so much like Buggy that he had to be an offspring or some kind of relative, but the scary thing to you was how much he really looked like Buggy; he had kept some photos of his childhood onboard the Oro Jackson, and you knew what he looked like as a kid. He would show them to you on nights when he was drunk and reminiscing about the good ol’ days, singing shanties and drinking heavily. Last night was one of those nights before he passed out asleep in bed. 

“What’s your name?” You finally asked. The kid didn’t seem sure about telling you, but he must have felt brave because he straightened up and smirked at you.

“I’m Buggy!” He told you, puffing his chest out proudly. “I’m an apprentice under Captain Roger, y’know, and I’m one of the best already!”

Oh.

Oh shit.

Yea, no, something weird was going on. Why was there a kid who looked like Buggy, had the same name, and was talking about Captain Roger like he was still alive? Was this an elaborate make believe game the kid was playing, or were you staring into the eyes of your husband’s childhood self?

Weirdly enough, the latter made more sense to you. You heard of this happening, stories from sailors and pirates alike, but the stories were overheard at the bar after too much alcohol was consumed. Stories of children appearing for several days on a ship, like ghosts from a distant past, only to disappear again without a trace, but sometimes it happened the other way around, with the storytellers insisting that they met themselves as a child in the past, got to relive some memories, good and bad, before coming home again. 

“Yea?” You grinned. “That’s impressive, so where’s your crew? Your ship?”

The smirk vanished and he deflated a bit, looking around with the smallest bit of worry. “I don’t know. I was in front of them and there was some kind of flash of light, and… I don’t know where I am.”

“Oh, well, want me to help you look for them?” You asked, knowing all too well that his crew was nowhere around, he was not where he thought he was, but you didn’t want him getting into any trouble (which you knew was difficult because as an adult he managed to get himself into enough trouble). “If we don’t find them, you can stay with me. I’ll keep you safe.”

“I-I don’t need to be kept safe!” He snapped. “I’m tough, okay? I can take care of myself!” 

You made sure not to laugh, but it was hard not too. He was so cute as a kid that saying those things with such passion and intensity just made him even more adorable. Instead, you nodded, agreeing with him as you held your hand out to him to take.

“Well, how about something to eat? I’m just finishing up a supply run for my ship.” You said. “I’m happy to make you something before we find your crew.”

He looked at your hand, looked at you, then back at your hand before hesitantly taking it. Whatever he held in his hand he put in his pocket, making you wonder what he stole before coming here. You decided not to test the waters yet, he was feisty, proud, and if you treated him like a kid then he wouldn’t be very happy. You needed to treat him like the apprentice that he is, proud, determined, and passionate. Once his hand was in yours, you gave it a gentle squeeze and smiled at him as you started walking back to the docks.

“I have fresh apples and peanut butter, if you’d like that as a snack.” You said, eyeing him with a grin as his face lit up. That was the same snack you’d promise the captain whenever you wanted something from him. It wasn’t fancy by any means, just a simple snack, but you kept the peanut butter hidden from him so he never knew where to find it. The way the kid’s face lit up told you all you needed to know that this really was Buggy as a kid.

Oh, it was about to get fun on the ship.

~

“-and then I stole it!” Buggy exclaimed with a laugh, holding up the pendant for you to see. He had just finished telling you of his latest act of piracy, stealing some necklace from a vendor on the streets. You had fed him, given him something to drink, and you couldn’t help but walk over to him once he finished talking to wipe some of the food off his face with a dish towel. He was caught off guard and made a face at you when you did that.

“Pirates with food on their face scare no one.” You chuckled as you slung the towel over your shoulder before clearing the dishes in front of him. “And then what happened, Buggy?”

He fell silent, brow furrowed as he thought of your question. What did happen? He took off running, met up with the crew, and then a flash of light and he bumped into you-

“Buggy?” You tapped on the table in front of him, bringing him out of his thoughts. “You okay, sweetie?”

“Yea, yea.” He mumbled as he looked down at the pendant in his hand. “Next thing that happened was I ran into you.”

He quite literally did. You had just stepped out of a shop when he walked right into you, and you had been in shock of seeing him that you weren't bothered that a kid was yelling at you about being in the way.

“Oh!” You nodded and went to refill his glass. “Well, you can stay with me until we find your crew, okay?”

“Are you a pirate?” He asked. “I'm on a pirate ship, but you don't seem like a pirate.”

You laughed softly at that, shaking your head. “I'm not, no. I don't do piracy, just help with the upkeep of the ship. My husband, however, is a pirate.”

“What?!” 

“Yea, he-”

“It's too loud in here.” Someone grumbled from the doorway. You both turned to look; the kid’s eyes widened and you grinned. And there he was, groggy, a little hungover, and obviously needing food and coffee if he was going to start the day. You went over to him and led him to the table, helping him sit down before you started on the coffee. “Time?”

“Lunch time.” You chuckled. “That's what time it is, honey.”

He glared at you, oblivious to the guest that was staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Buggy was a little hungover, having had his fair share of alcohol the night before. Normally you had the coffee ready for him before he woke up, so he was confused and unhappy that it wasn't readily available for him at that moment.

“It's too early.” He grumbled, rubbing his eyes. “What's for lunch?”

“Wake up first.” You brought him a cup and kissed the top of his head. “But I need you to look across the table before you drink that coffee, honey.”

Buggy looked up at you, eyes squinting in confusion. You took hold of his head and turned it in the direction you wanted him to look, and a few seconds later he pushed back from the table while you still held his head. Swearing, you popped it back onto his neck.

“W-What is going on?” He shrieked upon seeing the kid. Thankfully Kid Buggy remained seated, but you could see the confused look on his face. The two were staring at each other, mirror images except for the age difference. Before you could explain, your husband got up, marched over to the kid, and picked him up by the back of the shirt, carrying him out of the kitchen.

“Buggy-” You went after him, not sure what was happening.

“Hey! Put me down!” The kid shrieked, fists swinging and legs kicking. 

Buggy didn't respond and before you could stop him, he tossed the kid over the side of the ship and into the water. You couldn't believe he did that. You rushed to the side to look over, relieved you saw the kid treading water. So this was definitely a young Buggy, pre-Devil Fruit, otherwise you would have thrown your husband overboard after the kid. You threw a rope down to him while your husband went back to the kitchen, rambling on about curses and bad omens. 

You wanted to know what the hell that was about.

~

“I’m fine!” The kid insisted as you wrapped his hair up in a towel. His clothes were soaked and you did not have anything that would fit him, so he was currently wearing an old shirt of Buggy’s until his clothes dried. They were draped over a chair in the bedroom, the pendant he stole earlier sitting on your shared dressing table. 

“I don’t need you getting sick, sweetie.” You sighed as you used another towel to make sure his face was clean. You were mindful of the nose, touching the towel to his face except there. “I’m sorry he did that.”

“Why did he do that?” He grumbled as he crossed his arms, glaring up at you.

“Because pirates are superstitious fools.” You told him. “And… seeing you scared him I guess. I don’t know, I’m going to talk to him.” Carefully, you unwrapped his hair, making note that he needed to have it brushed to keep from tangling too much. You got up and set the towels aside before grabbing your hairbrush. “Buggy, I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want you to get scared, okay?”

“I don’t get scared!” He insisted. “Not like that guy! I’m braver than him!”

“Okay, here’s the thing about my husband-”

“Don’t tell him anything!” Your husband suddenly appeared in the doorway, glaring at the two of you. “Where did you find him? Who is he?!”

You weren’t bothered by his mood, but you wanted to make sure the kid felt safe. Without a word you moved between the two, keeping Kid Buggy behind you as you crossed your arms.

“We ran into each other, Buggy.” You told him firmly. “He got separated from his crew.”

“Crew?!” Buggy shook his head. “No, get him off this ship. He could be… a kelpie or something. Get him out of here!”

“He’s not a kelpie.” You sighed. 

“You don’t know that!”

Rolling your eyes you looked down at the kid. He had grabbed hold of your pant leg, gripping it tightly as he stared at the man in the doorway. This was a lot for both of them but you needed the captain to calm down. You knelt down and touched the kid’s bare toes. He took a step back and gave you a weird look.

“Human toes, no hooves.” You pointed out. “He also mentioned the Oro Jackson and being an apprentice…” You looked back at your husband. He paled and shook his head. This was too much. This was not him, this had to be some form of trickery, or a shapeshifter. “Besides, I’ve spent enough time with my husband to know when I’m with him as a child.”

Kid Buggy’s eyes widened, looking between you and Adult Buggy. Child? Was… this supposed to be him in the future? As an adult? His jaw dropped, he couldn’t believe it. You smiled at the expression on his face, pleased the kid was in awe of this.

“I turn out to be a drunk loser?!” The kid shrieked. “Why?!”

Okay, that was not what you expected. You slapped your hand to your face while your husband looked ready to throw the kid overboard once again. Kid Buggy just shook his head, not believing this. Was this an alternate reality of some kind? He wouldn’t be like this. Was this guy even a pirate? He didn’t seem like it from the little bit the kid had seen already. He was not impressed in the slightest.

“I want him gone.” Buggy snapped. “No kelpie or bad omen crap is allowed on this ship!”

He stormed off after that. 

[pagannatural]

2.15 Tall Tales

-once again we have an earth-shattering revelation episode followed by silly sibling hijinks episode. Last episode Dean confirmed out loud he would rather die than kill Sam and that he is devoted body and soul to saving him. Now he is eating sloppily from a takeout container on Sam’s bed. Fascinating ecosystem.

-so Dean is on Sam’s bed. He likes hanging out and making a show of being annoying while lying on Sam’s bed. He must want Sam’s attention because it seems territorial. He’s licking his fingers and smacking his lips and being as loud and expansive as possible. Maybe Dean is reclaiming Sam in some way after he was possessed last episode by laying claim on his space.

-Sam asks Dean to turn down his music so Dean turns it up, and the song is actually so fucking perfect look at the lyrics

I could really just highlight the entire song. It’s about someone avoiding talking to the subject and the subject feeling out of their mind lonely about it.

It sets the tone for the whole episode and adds meaning to why they’re getting on each other’s nerves so badly. They’re avoiding talking about the big thing on their minds and subsequently picking at other things and at each other. Again, they’re lonely when there’s distance between them and they don’t feel they belong to each other.

-Sam and Dean recount their investigation into the case so far to Bobby. It’s a storytelling device that allows us to see into the characters’ perspectives and the ways in which they are unreliable narrators.

Sam recalls Dean being a sloppy drunk and basically asking him to have a foursome with him, a girl at the bar, and her sister. He recalls Dean leering at him and wiggling his eyebrows and Starla drunkenly hanging off of Dean, doing the same. It very much seems as though Dean and Starla are suggesting a small, incestuous orgie.

Sam turns up his nose because Dean is drunk and he thinks the girl is trashy and tanked. His judgment toward her is palpable and betrays his jealousy. It’s also a glimpse into the way he perceives Dean’s attempts at setting him up—he recognizes Dean’s interest in him sexually, he remembers when this happens, but he doesn’t think it’s serious because he thinks it’s about the girls rather than about him. Dean is a himbo in his story, kind of without intention or feeling.

Dean, however, describes hitting it off with a woman who is a classy grad student. He remembers Sam being extremely feminine and prissy and confronting him about making out with a woman like he’s Dean’s nagging girlfriend.

Trying to set Sam up is not a part of his story, instead he tells it like he’s the center of attention and Sam is jealous. It makes me wonder if Dean is self conscious about how he treats Sam, how he often involves him in his sex life. Later in the series Dean is described as “needy” more than once in the context of his relationship with Sam as a way to taunt both of them. It’s interesting that Dean would feel shame about needing Sam, whereas Sam’s shame is never really about needing Dean. This is one of the dynamics in their relationship that tends to operate consistently in the background for the entire show, and I see it as a birth order thing. Dean as the older sibling feels responsible for Sam, so he can’t be clingy and unhinged the way that Sam sometimes is without really thinking anything of it.

Dean also portrays Sam as feminine. Like, flamboyant. It’s probably easier for Dean to focus on Sam’s sexuality and make fun of him for being gay rather than take him seriously for being in love with him. So Dean is doing the same thing Sam is doing, dismissing Sam’s intentions and chalking his behavior up to something else.

Both stories are defensive in their own ways: Dean paints himself as totally uninterested in Sam. Sam paints Dean as indiscriminate and careless in his attentions but wanting Sam to join in. Common elements are Dean’s attention being on someone else and Sam being jealous. The variables are the why’s.

-Bobby: you’re bickering like an old married couple

Dean: no see married couples can get divorced

Okay so you’re not like an old married couple—not because you’re not married or because you’re not a couple, but because your connection is more permanent? Okay!

The brothers say they’re more like conjoined twins which is wild because regular siblings get on each other’s nerves plenty but they are not regular siblings and that description is not enough for them so they describe themselves as physically part of each other. Over and over we’re told that actually they are not “just brothers” like Sam said in Playthings.

-Dean was watching porn on Sam’s laptop. He eats in Sam’s bed and jerks off with Sam’s laptop and it’s like he’s a dog getting his scent on everything Sam touches.

-Sam gives Dean the sassiest look anyone’s ever given anyone

and I’m including it in this analysis because it’s giving major fem vibes.

-the alien story is actually super fucked up and horrifying, although it’s clearly played as a joke. The guy says he was probed and forced to slow dance. The brothers seem to be telling this particular story together in a shared perspective, because it’s already embarrassing for them to hear and talk about, and underneath the bickering they respect and understand each other.

-the next interview is Dean’s telling, and in it Sam is acting emotional and over-sympathetic and Dean says “you’re always saying pansy stuff like that.” Sam is once again caricatured as feminine and clingy. Dean puts a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder and says It’s okay, and Sam’s face crumples. So in Dean’s retelling, he’s Sam’s shoulder to cry on when Sam is over emotional.

- Dean is reasoning through the connections in the cases and says the punishments are almost poetic “or actually it’d be more like a limerick” and sorry was anyone going to talk about Dean’s knowledge and interest in poetry?? I LOVE poetry but I didn’t technically know what the fuck a limerick was (so I googled it) and it’s a short poem that’s funny or silly in content. Dean is well-read. It would make SO much sense for him to be well-read because when he was younger he longed for more of a connection to the world outside of Sam and John and being locked in motel rooms, and reading would have been a good way for him to do that. He seems to enjoy fiction and characters he can relate to. It probably makes him feel less isolated.

-The brothers’ arguments this episode reveal such interesting glimpses into their life. Sam says “I don’t lose things” which would have been important as a child living out of motels trying to maintain his grades and seem normal. He probably learned as a child that he can’t just forget his things somewhere and go back to look for it later or call people he knows. If he leaves something in a motel room, that’s it, it’s gone forever, they will never go back and no one is finding and mailing it to him. I wonder if that’s also why he’s so particular about Dean not touching his stuff, because he had so little that was his. He probably got Dean’s hand-me-downs, and he had to share Dean himself with their dad which he famously hated.

Sam also says that Dean’s socks are in the sink. The only reason I can imagine for Dean’s socks being in the sink rather than just like, Dean leaving his dirty socks on the floor, is that he must’ve been washing them in the sink. Do they hand wash their clothing in motel sinks? It must be more convenient than going to a laundromat sometimes.

Sam also comments on Dean’s food going bad in the fridge. I read a whole essay on how this connects to Dean’s food insecurity, which makes sense to me. It also could be that he’s just kinda messy and doesn’t throw away his gross old food. I think Dean tends to get messier the more stressed out he is. He’s one of those people you can tell how he’s doing mentally by how his space looks— if he’s angry he’s breaking shit, stressed he’s looking worse for wear, happy he’s got everything neat and clean and starts nesting. Not to mention taking care of the Impala, his and Sam’s childhood home, is his pride and joy and one of the only mainstays in his life. His self care is very visible.

He is stressed as shit right now. Maybe eating greasy food on Sam’s bed is a cry for help and wanting Sam to talk to him about everything but not knowing how to bring it up.

-they fight over some money. It’s really something.

They are rolling around in bed grunting. Sam initiated the physicality of this fight by tackling Dean. It seems like a shared telling of what happened, and a good time to remember that the brothers have told wildly different stories and are both trying to make themselves seem as normal, cool, and under control as possible in these stories. And yet still they’re telling about the time they were rolling around and grunting in bed passionately. I’ll just leave that there.

-Sam pauses on the rush to the car with Bobby after driving a stake through the trickster’s heart. He starts apologizing to Dean, sincerity on his features, and Dean picks up on his intention and assures Sam “me too.” They gaze at each other lovingly over the roof of the Impala until Bobby interrupts and asks them to move it along.

-episode theme is perception, deception, and things not being what they appear. The trickster (Gabriel) casts illusions and the format of the narrative highlights how differently Sam and Dean can see the same story. They’re not seeing each other clearly, and they’re hiding from themselves, and it makes them lonely.

[heyclickadee]

Saw another “why would Tech even be interested in Phee” take out in the wild, so here’s a partial list of Phee’s many attractive qualities, because the double standard of every other character vs Phee is exhausting:

(Quick disclaimer—this isn’t me saying anyone has to like the ship. You don’t. It’s fine. Don’t ship things you don’t want to ship. Dislike the way it’s been written in the show if you want. Ship these two with other people or with no one if you want. I don’t care. This is just me being tired of people being weird about Phee):

1. She’s smart. She can improv her way through dealing with death traps and she’s got an area (areas) of expertise that Tech knows relatively little about. That makes her interesting. Also hot.

2. She’s gorgeous. Look at her. She’s ridiculously pretty.

3. She’s a great storyteller. Yeah, she changes her stories every time, but that’s at least part of why Tech is paying attention, because he notices that.

4. She’s a stone cold badass. And she’s a FUN stone cold badass. Disarmingly charming stone cold badass.

5. She’s a remarkably good person. She steals artifacts so that refugees can hang on to a bit of their culture in diaspora. This seems to be what pushes Tech from, “Oh, she’s interesting,” to, “OH. SHE’S BRILLIANT AND I MIGHT BE IN LOVE.”

6. She’s not nice, but she is kind, and that’s honestly a quality that she and Tech share. Phee isn’t soft, she’s not going to talk in therapy speak, she’ll push a little hard sometimes, but gosh darnit if she isn’t the person who would always stop to help someone with a flat tire (or respond to finding out some friends are broke, jobless, and on the run by immediately taking them back to her secret refuge so they can rest and recoup).

7. She’s incredibly direct and unafraid to speak her mind and…okay. This is going to get long. And I know some people will disagree with this, and that’s fine because everyone is different, and wants different things. But. Speaking personally from my point of view. The fact that Phee gives as good as she gets would be a really reassuring quality to have in a partner. I see a lot of myself reflected in Tech, but one of the many, many ways in which we’re very different is that I’m a consummate people pleaser, and Tech is very much not. At all. I don’t think he has a people-pleasing bone in his body.

But, here’s the thing—about half of my people pleasing comes from being terrified that I’ll say or do something that inadvertently hurts someone, and that person won’t just tell me or give me the chance to explain or make things right. And for how that relates to dating, I had people—friends and family—keep trying to set me up with incredibly shy men through most of my early twenties, no matter how many times I objected, because they had this perception that I was soft, wishy-washy, and needed to be treated with kid gloves. And…no. I’m opinionated as hell. I’m relatively confident about certain things. I just shut down my ability to project any of that because I was terrified of running roughshod over people without meaning to. But when I’m around someone who I know is willing to disagree with me, who I know will explain why, and who I know will push back if I take something too far? About 90% percent of my people pleasing and social anxiety evaporates. I know I don’t have to walk on eggshells around them—and that they aren’t going to walk on eggshells around me, either. They’re going to be direct about their issues and treat me like a freaking adult.

And, honestly, the fact that Phee doesn’t walk on eggshells around Tech (who also gives as good as he gets—Tech isn’t soft, nice, or shy and retiring; he’s confident as hell and he should be, because hot damn)—is. I don’t know. I like that she’s direct, and that she will recognize and pull back if she’s gone too far. This is projecting a bit, but, speaking personally, I would rather be with someone who treats me like an adult and tells me what’s up even if it’s uncomfortable than someone who never, ever tells me when they’re upset because they’re afraid of hurting my feelings and just lets me stew in social confusion all the time.

8. She can more than hold her own in a fight and she carries a sword around. That’s hot, I’m sorry.

9. Phee’s fantastic with Omega. She talks to her like she’s a person, she doesn’t ever shut Omega down, she’ll tell her stories, she’ll joke around with her, and she’s generally very respectful while also not holding her to the same standard she would if Omega were an adult. She’s even a little protective of Omega, even though Omega isn’t at all her responsibility. I think the moment that took Phee from ‘cool’ to ‘fantastic’ for me was towards the end of ‘Entombed’ while the Deadly Giraffe of Death was collapsing; Phee’s right there trying to shield Omega alongside Hunter. And. Like. Omega is Tech’s baby sister, he’s probably going to notice that how Phee treats her. Massive points in her favor for this.