#it turned out he was the only character without the silly show plot armor

[biosblades]

"genre-savvy" no i want a genre-unsavvy protagonist. scratch that, i want a genre-deluded protagonist.

i want a protagonist who is convinced until the last possible moment that they're in a lighthearted romcom--despite the proliferation of slasher murders. give me a soccer dad who is just so determined to enjoy family vacation, despite the fact the kids summoned an eldritch deity from the lake. a preteen who is experiencing a coming-of-age saga and annoyed their parents aren't emotionally present (the parents are distracted by a literal zombie apocalypse). endless possibilities

[thestormthatrises]

End of the year #moshang thot!

SQH has always been MBJ's person. Since day one, even when he wasn't awake or aware enough to realize it, SQH was the one™️

He was the one to lean on, to trust, to search and follow. He was the one that wouldn't leave, no matter what.

He was the one who heard him when all of his words got stuck in his throat and he couldn't say anything at all. He was the one that filled the silence that came from the uncertainty and dread he was allowed to show. He was the one that knew him better than anyone.

Better than even his uncle had, once.

He was the one MBJ sought out to soothe him, the calm port in a lifetime of storms.

He was the one that could make him laugh. Or at least smile, by being silly, by being good... Just by being himself.

SQH was a part of him he hadn't known he'd been missing. The missing piece of his armor and... his strength. And MBJ knew, even without knowing; without realizing it or thinking-- just by the beating of his heart alone that, it would be ok, as long as SQH was there.

The world could shun him, turn against him, try to Destroy him... But he would still prevail.

Because SQH was there.

He was his person and his person has promised to follow him to end.

But the thing was that... MBJ wasn't SQH's person.

Like, at all.

SQH loves his king very much. He was this author god's favorite! Ten out of ten. Top character! Perfect creation!

But he wasn't SQH's person.

And one could say that it came from how they met. How that idealized version of MBJ in SQH's mind had clashed so very heavily with his bratty and demanding and violent reality put an end to the prospect...

But it wouldn't be true.

Others could say that it was the nature of their relationship. How, while MBJ could (and should! Definitely should! SQH was there for Dawang!) Lean on SQH, the same couldn't be said the other Way around.

I mean, don't get him wrong. SQH could, for sure, ask *some* things of MBJ, obviously.

He could ask for a sneaky one up, with his king teleporting him to places he needed to snoop.

Or killing. MBJ was so very good at killing.

Hell, MBJ - out of the kindness of his heart - could even be persuaded into getting some very rare materials for him for a mission or an experiment.

His king was awesome for sure!

....

But...

(Not a hug. Not praise--)

No.

That wasn't it, either...

And then there were those who thought that he could have a person already. It happened! You could love someone romantically very much, with all your body and soul but still have your person be someone else.

A brother or sister.

A cousin.

A friend...

Someone might even suggest that Cucumber bro might be Airplane's person.

Though, that someone might be advised not to say it to his face. Because he'd laugh at that until he was blue in the face and *then some.*

Peerless Cucumber! His person! Ha!

The man that would let him die if he wasn't useful! Ha!

The man that just came barging into his house without even a "please come in" and demanded shit from him! Ha!

The man that didn't even say thank you after he bent over backwards for him! Oh god!

The rich little troll that harassed him online....

Ah...!

No.

SQQ wasn't his person.

They were barely friends.

SQQ only kept him around as an errand boy and someone to talk at instead of to, complaining about the world around them and his inconsistent dead plot for PIDW, all the while his op husband stared daggers at him from the kitchen (Airplane wasn't worried, though. LBH might hate him for taking time from his 'precious Shizun' but he won't kill him. If SQH were were to die, then that would mean that he'd actually have to do his job as demon emperor and not be able to play housewife to his lazy husband.

He isn't above being petty about snacks tho)

No.

None of those were the reason because, in truth... MBJ wasn't SQH's person because SQH simply didn't have one.

In two lifetimes... He never did.

He did know, of course, about other people having a person™️. He was an average consumer of pop media. He watched soaps with his grandmother. He read romance books. Hell! He even wrote about it in his non-PIDW fiction.

It just--

It never happened to him.

He hadn't been particularly wanted in his first life. Bouncing from one household to the other, his whole life was summed in two suitcase and an old laptop since his parents first divorced.

When each of them remarried, he couldn't rely on them for any sort of scrap of love or help because they simply... Didn't want him - the living memory of bad decisions - around their new lives.

And when he went to live with his grandmother - god rest her -, even if she did spare love... She was old. She couldn't help him in an ever demanding world she barely recognized.

She could give him advice and pet his hair and tell him he was good...

But she was the one that needed help to shop, to clean, to pay bills. And then to take her medication, to bathe, to feed herself... And then to breathe, to pay for hospital bills, to--

He couldn't ever tell her things. Secret things. Insane dreams. Sincere doubts.

She loved him. But, even when grandma tried, she just wouldn't understand him.

And when she died... No one ever tried to again.

He went through his first life just trying to keep his head above Water and trying so desperately to survive. A hand outreached with no one to take it.

Maybe that's why in his second go, he didn't even try.

He knew the world he made. He knew the character he was stuck in. But, most importantly, he knew that the universe wasn't fair.

Because it was *him*, every encounter was transactional. People expected something out of him for them to give a shit. Be a good son and you can go to CQM. Provide your Peak Lord with good cakes and you're head disciple. Be a good spy and keep your life. Keep your head down and you won't die.

That's how he lived his life. In an eternal fan dance. Showing and hiding parts of himself. Desperately trying keep the soft, vulnerable weak parts of his heart hidden behind a subservient smile; tricking people with exaggerating allowed weakness; dazzling and misdirecting with his efficiency until he had enough power, enough control that killing him wouldn't be a plausible action.

After all, who would do all of his work?

So there he was, dancing on the knife's edge, calculating ever single step because he doesn't have a person and so, no one will be there when he falls

(However, what he doesn't take into account is that each of his steps are followed by a very keen - gorgeous, mesmerizing, bewitching - pair of eyes.)

It takes MBJ too long to notice that he isn't SQH's person. Much too long.

Junshang settles himself, elopes and lives in bliss.

MBJ had inherited his father's power and, with SQH, had dealt with his uncle. SQH had fled and MBJ had brought him back. They courted. They married. They were happy.

And then, one day, he realized it, very suddenly.

How it always surprised his husband when MBJ would do him a kindness, when the demon king sought him for affection. Of course, he thought it meant something good, because SQH lit up every time... But...

MBJ just never realized the small confusion, the hesitation-- the flicker of a shadow that flooded those dark brown eyes for the briefeat moment when he did so.

He realized that, though SQH always offered an ear to his problems, a soothing word for his hurts or just a simple hug for when even words were useless...

He never asked for them. He never talked about problems he wasn't halfway into resolving. He laughed away his hurts

He pulled away when he was overwhelmed.

And it wasn't that he didn't love or trust MBJ!

Mobei Jun knew, he *knew*, his husband. He knew when he was sincere and he was not. He knew his devotion. He knew his care.

But he didn't....

SQH didn't... *Rely* on him.

And it hurt.

It actually hurt. And in a way few things did.

A dull hurt. An ache that felt like an accusation, a judgement. Stupid and emotionally, he felt... He felt-- insufficient, for his consort; for his love.

Because... If not him, then who?

Who could be above him in Qinghua's heart?

But there wasn't anyone.

The more he watched, the more he laid attention to those careful, masterful steps... There was no partner.

SQH didn't seek anyone because there was no one--

No.

That wasn't true!

He was there! Mobei Jun was there!

There was an instinct-- Something very, very juvenile; deep inside, that wanted to lash out. Wanted to scream and roar and... hurt too. To demand SQH look at him and *see* him. To hold him tight until they fused together as one and then SQH would have no choice but have him as his person.

However, there was also the voice of experience. The dreadful pain of a lesson well learned about consequences of trying to pin SQH down when he didn't want to be. Of disrespecting his wishes and...

And losing him completely!

It was a fate worse than death!

So MBJ was forced to curb his baser instincts and do things the long (right) way.

He had to go along with the dance.

It wasn't that hard to learn it, seeing as he knew his husband but it was hard to keep a good eye on him.

SQH hid very fast.

Any sharp turn, any jab, any misstep, would cause a momentary, blink and you'd miss it, reaction. A twitch of the brow. A curled fist. A mere shift of one foot to the other

And then, it was gone. Buried under subterfuge and cleverness. An illusion hid behind a smile.

(And how could such beloved lips produce such a hated smile?

MBJ *hated* when his husband forced himself to smile.

It was almost-! A mockery of all that he loved!)

There was the denial.

SQH never *needed* anything, proudly proclaiming his self sufficiency. Of course, that didn't mean he scoffed at MBJ's gifts. No, he cherished all of them.

But, looking a little deeper, he could see the longing for things.

Sweets from passing stalls he never stopped to buy because they were in a hurry. Books he didn't stop to read because he didn't have time. Rich brown eyes following couples down the streets, long lashes dropping at the sight of gentle, open affection...

And then looking back at MBJ and smiling, radiantly.

As if there was never a pang in his heart.

It was a beautiful thing. But also hurtful and painful, specially done to someone that lived him so.

And there were thousands of these little things. These little pricks to the heart. The cuts on the soles of his feet trying to follow his person and learn his ways in their perilous waltz on the knife's edge; trying to build a way to something everlasting.

It felt like lingchi.

But Qinghua was worth it

Eventually, he managed to get the rhythm down. SQH's cues becoming a second nature.

Just like his husband knew how to read volumes out of the blankness of his public face, so did MBJ learn all of SQH'S little ticks. What brow furrow meant just mere annoyance or confusion and What meant that he was exhausted by the situation and needed a moment.

He learned to pay attention to was unsaid in the cacophony of his husband's speech, the hidden needs he kept away for the pressing matters of his king, kingdom, peak or whatever it was.

He learned hidden things, things that SQH didn't even know he liked himself.

Like, he didn't know how much enjoyed to having nails gently scarping against his scalp and his neck, as MBJ just pet him hair as they snuggled in the dark.

He didn't know he liked to Not have to check of someone was paying attention when he was speaking for too long.

He... Oh hell, he even liked to be able to share his nonsensical little stories he liked to work on in his down time with someone that didn't want tear it apart and over analyze it one way or The other.

It was just nice, to have someone read his messes and feel *something* because of it.

He didn't know he liked being able to wake from a nightmare and not immediately get up and leave, as to not disturb his husband.

It was good to know he could wake MBJ up, if he Wasn't up already (such a light sleeper, his king) and...

And...

And asked to be held.

But the best thing, the thing he liked best-- and the thing that too him a while to realize that he had.

Like actually truly had.

Was that he could just... He could just be, with his husband.

He could be silly and lazy and flirty. He could be petty and cranky and weak. He could be scared. He could be... Open, with him

And MBJ still looked at him like he daily hang up the moon and the stars.

And it was hard and painful because surely the universe knew it was him.

The universe knew it was him and wouldn't just give him such a good thing out of nothing

Surely, the other shoe was about to drop.

The day would come when all of this would stop.

Because he was Airplane shooting towards the sky.

And he couldn't have nice things. Ever.

But MBJ didn't stop.

And the shoe never fell.

And the day didn't come.

And SQH wouldn't say it (he didn't want to jinx it) but suddenly, a part of him that had been empty for two lifetimes, a hollow wound that never healed right-- got filled.

A missing piece of him had finally come back and he was whole for the first time in forever. There was someone here, crazy enough, patient enough, smart enough to see him. Truly see him. To challenge him. To inspire him. To love him.

Just as he was.

Someone that wouldn't leave no matter what he did.

Someone that was choosing him, every day, again and again.

And he wasn't going to say it.

He wasn't going to alert the universe of it's mistake or oversight.

He wasn't going to jinx it.

But...

He understood, he now really, really understood why people need and love their person.

(Because he needs and loves MBJ so much)

[giorno-plays-piano]

Impersonator

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, death of minor character.

Words: 1953.

Summary: Meeting a cosplayer in Berlin isn’t a big deal, really. You don’t actually know why you are drawn to this guy in his stunning horned helmet, standing on the train with a seidr in his hand.

P.S. I own the plot of this story to amazing @caffiend-queen​ and my determination to write it to lovely @kinathewolf​ <3 Although I changed the story a little (this post made us discuss the idea), I hope you will like it!

_____________________

Waking up when it was barely six, you kept yawning and rubbing your eyes while sitting on the train. You worked for one of the thousands of start-ups in Berlin, and your boss always liked to start pretty early. Well, despite waking up when it was still dark, you didn’t mind, really – the U-Bahn was much less busy now than thirty minutes later, and you didn’t have to stand the whole way to your station.

Today was a bit different, though. Not that there were too many people, but that one guy with his horned helmet looked so fantastic you simply couldn’t take your eyes off him. He had entered on the Bismarckstraße station, and since then you had been staring at him shamelessly. He was the spitting image of Loki, that god from Asgard, the one who had been released by Avengers not so long ago for his aid in protection of Earth from an invading alien force. Now Loki had his own fan club, and this guy was probably one of the squad. Seeing him in a full suit wasn’t surprising either – tomorrow was the first day of Comic Con, so he was probably going for a cosplay catwalk rehearsal before the event.

No one was really paying attention to him as he stood silently near the door with his seidr, but you just couldn’t help yourself. Come on, he was probably the most handsome guy you had seen in years, not even mentioning his gorgeous costume. Although you had never been Loki’s fan – for God’s sake, you still remembered that day in Stuttgart – this guy’s passion for cosplay was admirable.

When you reached Wittenbergplatz, a group of cheerful tourists entered the train, and the guy had to move further, taking a place close to yours. Of course, you still stared at him in awe, and he quickly noticed you. His piercing gaze finally made you realize it was unacceptable to gawk at someone like this, and you averted your eyes, feeling your cheeks growing hot. The cosplayer chuckled at your reaction.

“I’m so sorry!” You muttered, clenching the fabric of your jacket. “I just- ugh, I mean, your cosplay is stunning!” Now that you said it, you were just too humiliated to add anything. Why couldn’t you be like all other people who didn’t harass the poor guy with them staring? Of course, no one would be comfortable with some creepy girl watching over them.

But the guy didn’t look worried or embarrassed even the slightest bit. When you saw his face, you realized he was amused as he looked at you with a grin on his face. Now you even felt a little scared because there was something animalistic in his gaze.

“Thank you. I was spending day and night crafting this costume.” He was smiling, and you realized he was probably playing the role of Loki now.

Oh damn, of course. Being a cosplayer meant not only wearing a costume of your character but being this character, behaving like them, speaking like them, sometimes even moving like them. This guy was doing exactly this, and, to be honest, he was really good at acting since for a minute you believed he wasn’t just a mere human.

“I’m sure you will be the winner of the contest this year.” You smiled shyly at him, still embarrassed at your behaviour earlier, and the guy laughed at you a little. God, you felt so terribly awkward.

“Thank you. If my brother won’t show up, I’m sure I’ll have a chance.” For a second you thought there was something bittersweet in his eyes, but then it was gone, and the cosplay rose to his feet, shining in the electric light of the subway. “This is my stop. Have a good day, my lady.”

Of course, you barely nodded at him, felling like you’re gonna explode from the way he called you and how the guy bowed his head a bit at you as if you truly were some Asgardian goddess. Minutes later you would curse yourself for being so stupid to not even ask his cosplayer’s nickname – how on Earth were you going to find his profile on Facebook now? Since you were in the middle of a new marketing campaign, your boss would never let you leave tomorrow to visit Comic Con, and that was your only chance to ever see that amazing guy again.

Ugh, living with that useless brain of yours was quite a challenge.

You had already bid farewell to the cosplayer since you knew meeting him by chance again in a city as big as Berlin was impossible – especially if without his costume and wig and makeup the guy would be unrecognizable. The next evening you were sitting in the train just like all other evenings when you were coming late from work, a bag with a chicken sub in your hands along with an already cold cup of tea. You sighed, thinking of Comic Con and all the fun people were having there. Damn, next year you would definitely take a short vacation to finally visit the convention. Maybe you would have a chance to meet that mysterious guy again.

“It smells nice.”

You immediately raised your head, staring at the cold blue eyes of the guy you met yesterday’s morning. He was still wearing his horned helmet and shining golden armor, the Scepter in his hand. He sat close to you again, and you suddenly found the courage to smile at him widely. God, it was happening. He was really here, with you.

Was he coming back from Comic Con? You thought they finished way later, but maybe he was just tired to spend the whole day in this outfit – you could imagine how heavy it was – and left earlier. You couldn’t blame him, thinking of how many people probably wanted to take a photo of him during the day, too, and it was definitely tiresome as hell to pose in front of tons of people for hours.

“Would you like some?” You handed him your paper bag. “It’s a sub with chicken. I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Ah, it’s a very generous offer. It would be rude of me to decline it.” His smile sent chills down your spine, but you reminded yourself he was still playing his role. Anyway, what could he do? Follow you to your apartment in this outfit? Seriously? He would be stuck in the hallway with those horns of his.

You watched like the Loki-guy took a half of your sub and returned the other half to you, then taking a bite and chewing slowly. To your delight, he nodded, telling you he liked it without words, and you chuckled at him. Now he looked almost cute with his puffed cheeks as he kept biting more and more. Apparently, the sub wasn’t bad, and you dug in it enthusiastically, caring little for a few other passengers. No one was looking at you two, anyway.

Halfway through finishing his part, the guy stared questioningly at your paper cup of tea, and you smiled at him with confusion.

“You can have it, too, but it’s already cold, sorry.”

Now he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Did he think it was funny? Was it because he thought real Loki would find it funny? You were too confused but decided not to ask. You looked silly enough yesterday when you were gaping at him with wide eyes. No more of this today! You couldn’t blow it if you wanted to ever see the guy again.

“It’s quite alright. Let me help you.” He carefully lowered his seidr so it touched your cup, and in the next moment you saw a soft blue glowing surrounding it. It was coming directly from the Scepter, and you literally opened your mouth while staring at it wide-eyed. Wait, did this guy put something inside the seidr? Like, a light bulb or something? God, it was beyond your imagination!

But before you started throwing questions at him, you suddenly saw a wisp of steam coming from your tea and felt how the cup grew hot in your hand. Oh shoot, it definitely wasn’t just some light bulb! His Scepter was a real machine!

You probably looked like a little kid, your eyes shining and jaw dropped at the sight of something that looked like a miracle to you, and Loki-guy chuckled softly. He was seemingly content with your reaction as you even sniffed your tea a little bit to feel it really was hot again. But when you brought the cup to him, thinking he wanted to drink, he gently refused it.

“Thank you, but you have already given me enough.” His smile was much softer, and your cheeks grew hot again at his kindness, though it was you who shared your food with him. Strangely, it was like this stranger had some effect on you, and you smiled back at him, lowering your head to have a sip of tea.

However, the next moment the guy furrowed his brows, looking somewhere behind you, and you saw him lifting his seidr again, pointing at something behind your back. You missed his concerned gaze, but not noticing the blinding light coming from the Scepter was absolutely impossible – for a second you almost lost your eyesight, squeezing your eyes shut and clenching the paper cup in your hand. What was that?! But before you got truly scared, the light had disappeared, and all you saw was that Loki-guy sitting close to you with a piece of chicken sub wrapped in a napkin in his hand. His Scepter looked the same as before, no blue glowing coming from it. Wait, you didn’t imagine this blinding light, did you? It was here just a second ago!

As you tried to turn back to see what was happening, the stranger suddenly stopped you, his warm hand on your shoulder as he leaned closer to you, smiling, “Your tea is going to be cold again.”

“Yes, b-but-“ You gawked at him and then stared at his seidr, unsure what to say. “I-I mean, have you seen that light? Did it come from this thing?”

You heard someone behind you letting out a sudden scream and smelled metal and plastic melting. It was disturbing enough as it was, but then you realized you smelled the burning flesh searing from someone’s bones.

The Scepter. The guy’s resemblance to the Asgardian God of mischief. Shit.

Before you tried turning again to see what was left of the seats behind you, Loki’s grip on your shoulder became painfully strong. You watched him leaning even closer to you in slow motion, the world around you slowing down as the man whispered to you in a dangerously low voice, “Don’t look back. You don’t want to see what is left of that creepy man who was staring at you all the time, do you, dear?”

Frozen on the spot, you barely nodded, your eyes not leaving Loki’s pale face as he smiled, letting go of your shoulder and touching your arm surprisingly gently instead. You heard the sounds of crying and whining, people around you scattering to the different part of the car to be as far as possible from a man in the horned helmet. But you just couldn’t move from your place, glued to your seat, an Asgardian God looming over you.

“I am grateful for you sharing your meal with me. I’d like to thank you properly,” he said softly, and you swallowed your tongue instead of letting out a loud scream. “Let’s leave on the next station. I know a few nice places in Mitte.”

___________________

Tags: @finleyjayne​ @alexakeyloveloki​  @helenaeisenhower​ @villanellevi​ @hurricanerin​ ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint​ @heeeyitskay​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @rosalynshields​ @brattycherubwrites​ @sllooney​ @angrythingstarlight​

[vdragon-creations]

More Danganronpa Headcanons!

Why? Because I can! And I have to wait for a Commissioner to get back to me about a WIP I just sent!

I Think I’m gunna try my hands at making some Headcanons for Mondo, Ishimaru, Leon, Kazuichi, and Kiibo this time a round! Just cause I wanna try and explore new characters. (And totally not because I fell hard for a certain Robo Boi! WHAAAAAAAT! YOU CRAZY GURL!) I’m still loyal to my man Yasuhiro! But I gotta spred the love! Cause these boi’s need it! Also, wanna mention that these are more like...Non-Killing Game AU Headcanaons. So yeah! ^^ 

Let’s do this!

Mondo:

Is a Semi decent carpenter, but there was that one time he fucked up the legs on a chair, and now one of Asahina’s shorts has a rip in it where there was a stray nail sticking out.

She wont let him live that down. And neither will Sakura.

Get’s pretty embarrassed/pissed off if someone touches his neck! The dude’s jacket practically covers that entire part of his body, so he’s not used to feeling anything touch him there!

He once let out a girlish scream when Leon poked him there once to wake him up during class! The rest of them are surprised Leon wasn’t killed right then and there.

Once he participated in a little competition between the classes to see who was the arm wrestling champ. He got pretty far till he had to go up against Gonta. He lost by a landslide, but he felt better loosing to a dude like him at least. 

Totally escorts any female classmate or student home on his bike if they ask, or he sees some creep hanging around them. 

He does get embarrassed about it though, and ends up yelling at them. This results in one of three things.

The girl runs away!

The girl just politely declines, and walks away kinda creeped out!

Or a mix of all, with the addition of the dude sees this, and get’s spooked himself, and fucks off

Ishimaru:

Has a bit of a panic attack and dies inside if he sees someone leaving the men’s restroom without washing their hands!

Carries scented hand sanitizers with him! At all times! No matter what! And must offer some to every single one of his classmates! 

Once he tripped in the halls while chasing after another rule breaker, and had to be carried to the nurse’s office. Now that alone wouldn’t have been a bad thing, except Sakura was the one who did it, and she carried him bridle style, much to his dismay. 

Mondo and Leon teased him about that one for months.

During Christmas, he’ll start screeching about PDA anytime he sees a Mistletoe, or people under it who are about to kiss! 

But will ultimately be the first one forced to stand underneath it by is classmates.

Stays behind after school hours to either clean, or poke his head into every class room to see if the teachers need help with anything.

He’s totally that guy who during the Gym Class or Sports festival, is bitching about how short the girls shorts are, but not realize he’s staring. There by making HIM the creep! 

Leon of all people was the one to point this out to him, only adding to the shame.

Leon:

It’s not hard for him to start catching feelings for basically any girl meets.

Totally has an Instagram where he posts shirtless pics! He’s pretty popular thanks to that, and his Baseball Skills.

Purposely taught himself English so he could flirt with some of the American and British chicks who visit his profile and leave comments.

He’s pretty used to going from girl to girl, so it’s safe to assume he’s used to getting dunked on by the girls he’s dumped. Getting called a pig, dirty looks, even some of them going so far as to pour their drinks on them at lunch. This he can handle!

Wanted so badly to start a band with Sayaka, Ibuki, Kaede, and Kazuichi! (Probably due to the punk look Soda always puts on!) But he was promptly let down by all of them! Cause Ibuki had her own shit to deal with, Kazuichi because he had no experience with music (at least any good ones, Stay tuned for that! ;3), Sayaka cause she’s already part of a group, and Kaede because punk wasn’t exactly her thing.

But what really stresses him out is when one of his Exes just.....doesn’t really seem to care! It feels so outta place to him, and it actually makes him pretty paranoid. Wondering if their plotting for revenge or some shit! So he’ll spend days after breaking up with a girl like this, just kinda....being a little bitch! XD

Secretly, I’m pretty sure they all turned him down because they thought he was coming on to them to a degree. 

Kazuichi:

Is a lot like Yasuhiro, he doesn’t like birds, but not because he thinks they work for the government. It’s because he doesn’t like most animals, they remind him of Gundham.

Miu makes him HIGHLY uncomfortable! Sure, she’s hot and stuff, but she’s a whole other level of fuckery that he wants no part of! She’s banned from entering his workshop, and so Kiibo is usually the one who comes in to grab something if Miu needs it. He completely get’s Kazuichi feeling put off by Miu.

However, Kazuichi is still pretty insistent on asking Kiibo if he can take him apart every time he comes to get something for Miu. Making the poor robot very uncomfortable!

He’s pretty jealous that Miu get’s to play with the Robot and he doesn’t. Get’s kinda salty about it.

Teruteru once gave him the idea that he should try to serenade Sonia. And so he did! Or at least he tried to. He got over the fence to the girls dorms, ripping his clothes in the prosses. Then when he got to the window (he thought was) of Sonia’s room, he threw a rock that was a bit too big at it, cracking the window and scaring the girl in the room! Waking up the whole dorms and he booked it out of there! 

He attempted this one more time, and was better prepared. But Sonia opened her window to see a Kazuichi dressed in a Ghillie Suit and wearing an army helmet holding a guitar! When he started to sing and play, it was now obvious why Ibuki refuses to let him sing along with any of her music! 

A girl from a neighboring room called the campus security to repot a strange dude outside the Girls dorms, while another one poked her head out of her window and began to throw things at him. 

He left soon after, but was caught by security and reprimanded. Now he refuses to listen to Teruteru has to say about anything.  

Kiibo:

Often get’s bossed around by Mui to get her things. He finds it rather degrading, but when she’s not being bossy, she’s helpful to him. So he puts up with it, as a way of saying thanks. 

One of these tasks he’s asked to do a lot is going over to Kazuichi’s Workshop to barrow tools and such. He hates doing it though, since Kazuichi is always wanting to take him apart. So he does his best to make these visits quick!

Miu gave him the ability to remove some of his heavy armor so he can wear clothing like normal. Surprisingly, This was his idea! He wanted to be able to enjoy the comforts of soft fabrics like most humans. And it would help him blend in a bit better.

Gonta and him get along very well! Mainly due to both of them having a hard time understanding things like sarcasm, harsher jokes, and certain social cues. This usually leads to them both learning at the same time when they hang out!

Miu is his wingman, weather he knows it or not! She’s always wanting to add new functions to him to make him more appealing. One of these is a thin velvet like coating on his armor that’s meant to make his metal less harsh on the skin if you touch him.

Another one of these features is a type of diffuser at the top of his skull under his hair! It releases a pleasant scent into his hair, similar to pheromones. The scent changes based on Kiibo’s emotions. 

Kokichi likes to openly mock Kiibo in front of new people. Like a lot!

Kiibo actually releases steam when he get’s too Angry or Embarrassed, but this is really rare. 

Get’s really curious about Occult, Paranormal, or Religious things. Sure, he finds some of it to be very silly, but he can’t help but wonder why some humans like those things! 

Some holiday traditions he finds weird too, and in some cases, a bit Robophobic. Like giving candy or sweets out on Valentines Day, when....well, he can’t fucking eat it! So he feels excluded in times like that.

He’s really confused about most PDA! Especially kissing! So humans just like...put their mouths together? And that’s like....supposed to mean deep affection? What’s so great about swapping fluids like that? Couldn’t they get sick? QUESTIONS! ANSWERS! HE MUST HAVE THEM!

His Ahoge doesn’t just change shape and move to show emotion, but it also tends to point in the direction that he’s attention is drawn too. Even when he’s trying to pretend he’s not looking at something! His hair is a dead give away!

Has a built in “Cellphone” in his head. Miu added it so it would be easier to contact him if needed. 

Everyone in his class has his number, except Kokichi! And it will stay that way!

.......Until Gonta gave it to him by being tricked into doing it!

And now he has a small panic attack every time his “Cellphone” rings. Praying to all that is good that he doesn’t hear “HEY KIIBOOOOOOOY!~<3″ on the other end!

[gascon-en-exil]

Dark Deity Pre-Release Character Opinions

This isn't actually a tier list, but someone helpfully created a template for this game and it's as good a way as any to do a little visual showcase for this cast. Characters are listed by their class sets, which are fixed but offer a nice variety in terms of promotion options. My opinions on each are as follows, from left to right in each row. Most characters have introductory profiles written up on the DD subreddit, if you'd like to check them out yourself.

Warriors

Alexa

You know those buff female blacksmiths in Echoes and Three Houses that some people wish were playable characters? That's pretty much Alexa. Can't say I'm too hyped about her myself, but warrior + tomboyish female character will do that for me...or not do it, I suppose.

Benji

Seems to have been written to become a meme, and I still can't decide whether that's clever or stupid. Kind of like Raphael only with a bigger emphasis on training than on eating, and with brotherly devotion replaced with brotherly angst that might theoretically go somewhere if the character isn't reduced to being a goofy joke all the time.

Fenton

Doesn't have a character profile, so as far as I know he's just a generic dwarf because DD swaps out its inspiration's loli dragons and other vaguely fetishistic shapeshifters for the two most cliché non-human races in Western fantasy. I wonder whether his VA will voice him with a Scottish accent, to go all in on the (ironic?) laziness. There are a handful of elves in the playable cast, but Fenton is the only dwarf so for better or worse he's representing.

Helena

She's the embodiment of the FE exotic swordswoman archetype, but curiously DD seems to have turned that broad ethnic brush inward. Helena's last name is apparently a Japanese verb, her art shows her with a spear (as in the association of the naginata with women), and she studied and trained in a monastery that seems to blend elements of Buddhism and Shintoism. Not sure how all that fits into the larger setting yet, but at this point she's still got more background development than Petra.

Irving

Our Hero, the one front and center on the cover art. He sounds a bit on the blander side as far as lords or lord equivalents go, with his most promising hook for me being his established friendship with Garrick (see the ranger section). At best I can hope for a bit of a romantic friendship dynamic, although they sound a bit rougher overall as they're military academy schoolmates I wonder why DD went with that instead of lordlings of different territories.

Rogues

Brooke

Looks like Camilla; has a backstory like Niles. Cleavage aside though the sexual element of both is toned down here, and there might be some sapphic bodyguard shenanigans to be had as her current employers are a pair of highborn sisters further down this list.

Cia

For some reason she reminds me of Tressa from Octopath Traveler, only bustier and a bartender rather than a merchant. She's still just a small town girl with big city dreams, and this being a tactical war game following those dreams will inevitably involve stabbing people.

Corvan

Hard to judge him at the moment, as his profile was only the second written and so isn't terribly detailed. He's a moon elf with scholarly interests, apparently. Still, as of right now he's the only rogue who doesn't slot loosely into either a ninja/assassin or pirate aesthetic, so that's kind of neat. Also, he's one of several characters to have FEH-esque beach fanart made of them already, so clearly someone's into elf twinks.

Ford

A former officer at the military academy Irving attends and a smuggler who dotes on his niece, Ford has major dad energy. Per developer reveals he's also bi, and as I mentioned before I'm totally fine with that. More bear sex, please - but what guy in this cast would hop in the sack with Ford? Only time will tell. His personal skill makes him extra dodgy, which combined with the mug of booze in his art makes me think of WoW brewmasters who dodge-tank through the power of being wasted.

Wren

Like Brooke, he's an assassin from a foreign nation - in his case the same one as Helena so presumably he's a not!Japanese ninja. I'm not really feeling him at the moment. What is it about Hao'Fen (the city/territory he and Helena come from) and massive families? That comes up in both their backstories.

Rangers

Caius

I feel like this is the third or fourth character to grow up in some slum or other; at least they've all been in different towns so far. The relative rarity of noble characters is certainly different from FE, but it reduces the political stakes which leaves me wondering a bit about the story. Anyway, Caius is a small town desert hunter who learned how to make arrows out of animal bones. How aerodynamic is bone, I wonder?

Garrick

Irving's BFF and seemingly the Hector to Irving's Eliwood, only with more flirting (his intro doesn't specify that Garrick is flirting with women, but I'm not going so far as to say that indicates anything). He's the academy headmaster's son, with a strained relationship with his father for some of that hotheaded lead tension. Notably, his VA is the one I'm most familiar with in this cast, as he's the voice of Revali from Breath of the Wild as well as love interests in two different erotic gay dating sims I've played. In other words, I know what this guy sounds like making awkwardly simulated sex noises...and I have no idea what to do with that information.

Maeve

She's a half-elf with a very storied background, so much so that it's all rather hard to follow her exploits when little of what's being described has been fully revealed yet. I'm expecting her to be a mid/lategame recruit, unless she's dropped in early on to reveal that (sun) elves exist or something.

Rose

Imagine if Bernadetta were a commoner, although we can only hope they'll be less screaming. Alternatively, Neimi without an obvious boyfriend. She won the beach contest so now she has official swimsuit art, which I guess makes her a top-tier waifu in the eyes of players who care about such things.

Sophia

A ranger in the "has animal companions" sense, although whether that will come into play mechanically aside from her personal skill - Butter the ferret can attack with her! - remains to be seen. Her preference for the company of animals is explained by a lack of social graces, so prepare for klutz-related humor. Of note to those interested in F/F is that her introduction specifically brings up her connection with Sloane (see the mage section) and how close the two of them are.

Clerics

Faust

Doesn't have a profile yet, so not much to go off other than his decidedly unhinged look. The cleric class set does feature some darker-flavored options, so presumably he's more naturally aligned with those. His VA was announced to be the YouTuber behind So This is Basically Fire Emblem and other similar videos, so I'm picturing a kooky and somewhat demented Henry type.

Lincoln

Also lacks a profile at time of writing...clerics get so little love. The Discord has identified him a bland blond paladin sort, but as we know from the likes of Perceval and especially Dimitri that doesn't necessarily mean he'll be boring (or not gay).

Maren

The soft-spoken healer type, and also a childhood friend of Garrick although her intro sibling-zones him but then this game is inspired by FE so who knows if that'll stick. She may have some interesting thoughts on the theology of the setting, as there seem to be several faiths and she's said to have a complicated relationship with her own. I will be utterly shocked if she's not either Irving or Garrick's eventual love interest.

Samara

One of two princesses of the country of Aramor, which appears to be loosely inspired by the Middle East. Heaven help us if the Khalidstans ever get wind of this game. Unfortunately aside from her bond with her older sister (in the mage section) and the knowledge that Brooke has been hired as their bodyguard there's not much to Samara at the moment. Hopefully the clerics all do some comparative theology in their bond conversations, and this isn't like Sacred Stones where none of the clergy characters from different countries ever compare notes. The succession crisis involving Samara and her sister vs. their less-loved cousin the king's son might be a major plot hook? It's still too early to tell.

Vesta

Much like Maeve her backstory has entirely too much going on to really follow at the moment. Basically she's a human who grew up in a sun elf city because Reasons (seriously, I don't know what they are) and was called to a clerical vocation and also something about taking a journey. Has an unfortunate case of silly boob armor, which unlike a certain other character probably won't be rectified this close to release.

Mages

Alden

Maren's precocious younger brother, also basically Ricken up to and including the comically oversized hat. As a unit he follows the tradition of Donnel, Mozu, and Cyril of having a personal skill that buffs his stat gains, so it's safe to say he's a growth unit. At least he'll probably join early.

Liberty

Comes with dead brother angst and a connection to the "aspects" system that will hopefully make more sense once I've played the game and know how it functions both mechanically and from a storytelling perspective. Otherwise she looks to be a busty older - as in, not a teenage - mage in the vein of Calill.

Monroe

Got the first ever character profile, so it's really short. He's the son of a duke and sounds like a bit of a snob, albeit one that can make explosions happen to back up his haughtiness. He's got some scarring around his eye that surely must come with a story. Someone also made featured fanart of him in Heroes summer banner style, so I guess he's got somebody horny already.

Sara

Samara's half-sister, with comparable fantasy Middle Eastern flavoring. Has an interest in discovering magical artifacts and being a just ruler in the event she winds up on the throne (so, almost definitely), and she and Samara travel around with the assassin Brooke as their bodyguard. There's maybe some lesbian possibilities there? Either way, Sara has enough development where I could see her as a major supporting character.

Sloane

Comes with a genuinely fascinating backstory involving manipulative double-crossing parents, an education in the cruelties and deceptions of social life (reflected in her personal skill), and disinheritance - and yet it's all likely to be overshadowed because she may go down as DD's equivalent to Fates's face-touching. Her initial art is even more revealing than Camilla's, and while the developers later gave her a more modest redesign after negative feedback I get the feeling that this controversy may live on. Her introduction mentions her hunting for both heirs and heiresses and she's now been linked to Sophia, so safe to say she's another confirmed bi character.

Adepts

While the other class sets are standard fantasy fare adepts require a bit more explanation. They have innate magical abilities and appear to be feared and distrusted most places in the setting. Functionally they remind me of adepts from the Golden Sun series, if anyone is familiar with those games. The classes in the adept group tend more toward physical/magical hybridization than those of other sets, so that will probably be their mechanical niche. Oh, and their default weapon type is lances, which is a plus in my book.

Aurima

Along with Caius and the royal sisters, he's another one from the desert nation of Aramor. An arena fighter who got touched by a god in what I assume was a non-sexual way and came out of it with a new appearance and adept powers. Also, he's confirmed to be over 40 - how often do you see that in games like this?

Bianca

Looks like a more carefree Mathilda from Echoes. She's a ranking officer in the Delian army which sounds like it'd sit uneasily with her adept powers. Her profile describes Lincoln as her close friend, which is still about the most we know about him at this point.

Elias

This guy's writing plays more into the fairly standard coding that comes with adept powers, as we know they manifested shortly before he was going to confess his feelings to a male paramour and afterwards he was forced to flee his homeland and wander the world. He also spent time among dwarves, so insert short bear jokes here? In the present he's attached to Cia in what seems to be a platonic way; maybe she's a fruit fly, or maybe she just likes having a friend who can light drunken assholes on fire? Elias is definitely into guys, but I would still be a little surprised if he turned out to be totally gay as that's such a rarity in these sorts of things.

Iris

Oof, another lengthy and rough backstory. Iris had better parents than Sloane, but she also had to deal with permanent facial scarring (hence the mask) after a bandit kidnapping and the stigma of manifesting as an adept pretty much eliminating the prospects of her making a good political marriage. Also, she and Elias both come from Neullais, which is prominently featured on the continental map on the DD subreddit but doesn't seem to come up all too often in backstories. I think it's a not!France? Hard to tell.

Thae'lanel

A World of Warcraft blood elf, flowing anime hair and apostrophe'd name and all. I like WoW so that's not terribly grating, but as he has no profile yet there's little else I can say. Thae'lanel is mentioned in Maeve's introduction as a member of a sun elf group called the Exiled, which I'm guessing is tied to his adept status in some way. He and Maeve form yet another adventurer/bodyguard duo.

[cassidybueter]

A play by play reaction of the live-action FMA movie: because I hate myself and also you.

Oh good. It has English dubs. So it'll be a delight for both the eyes and ears.

Mama Elric dies from hugs.

NO CHARACTERIZATION. ONLY PLOT.

If I hadn't read the manga, I'd be totally lost. And because I read the manga, I know it's bad. Who was this for?

There are many female voice actors that can do convincing young boy voices. These... are not those actors.

Why is Father Cornello running around a clearly empty city?

I keep expecting Edward's discount bin Spirit Halloween wig to fly off.

The only people trying are the CGI animators.

Alphonse has said nothing and done nothing because animation is expensive.

And cover up the metal arm! Quickly! Before we have to figure out how to do a good effect!

Suddenly the town is filled with people.

Why is Mustang in Leore?

Why... is he arresting Edward?

The philosopher's stone is clearly red plastic.

Remeber how I said the animators were trying? I take that back. Al's animator is very drunk.

WHY IS WINRY IN LIORE?! What the fuck?

How are we in East City?! It's miles away. Did we teleport?!

And why is Edward's dialogue so muffled? Was it being recorded through a pillow? No one else's is this bad.

They ditched Al in Leore so they wouldn't have to animate him.

Damn. These characters really do telelort at the speed of plot.

Ok. Points where they're due: Hughes' actor seems good and the shadow of Gluttony eating someone is very intimidating.

Winry is a brunette. Which wouldn't be weird except that they put so much non-effort into making Ed blonde.

This would probably be great if it were, say, a comic book, or an animated TV show.

Truth: How'd you like it? Ed's actor: Well, it's a paycheck.

After they transmuted their mom, Edward turned into his teenage actor, because the little kids can't act.

"This house is huge" *doesn't show house.*

Anime Shou Tucker looked kinda creepy, but possibly friendly. This Shou Tucker is just some sleepy dude.

Mustang and Hughes walk down Generic Path of Exposition. Screw creativity, we pray to the ALMIGHTY PLOT.

Again: Why is Winry here?

I like how Ed just ditches his brother anytime the director thinks the budget is getting too big.

They got the most wooden VAs for like half the characters. And the shittiest microphone for the main character!

You know what the original story was missing? GOD DAMNED HYPNOSIS. THE LAZIEST TROPE.

Winry is the real main character. She does things and Edward/Alphonse follow blindly.

Edward's metal hand makes a very fleshy sound when slapped against the table.

Marcho's dead. Lol.

A man died in front of us and we found the secret to the stone. Next scene!

CGI dog Nina looks like Snuffaluffagus.

This scene was creepier when hand drawn.

Now that Winry has been so firmly established as the third Elric Brother, it's weirder when she's not around.

Okay, when the classic dialogue from the series is delivered without the emotional context of the story, it's suddenly very silly and emo.

Edward is studying. Alphonse is sitting, trying to move as little as possible.

God bless you, Maes Hughes, the best part of the movie.

Seriously, he's mostly on point. Everyone else can go to hell.

Ah yes, Laboratory #5, a totally safe place for Winry to be. Man, it was such a cool place in the real story. Here? Just an empty building. Then again, we can't figure out how to animate one armor, how would we do three?

Oh no, the brothers are fighting for no reason. If only there was emotional weight.

"It hurts to see you hurt." Bitch, it hurts to hear you speak.

Yeah, where's East City on that map, Hughes? Is it two feet away from Leore? No?

Remember when Envy transforms into Hughes' wife before killing him and how that was real imactful? They set that up by having him drop the photo, but then Envy turns into MUSTANG.

Tucker lives. It was stupid when the '03 series did it and it's stupid now.

Envy looks like he styled his hair with crude oil.

This movie's so LOOOOOOOOONG.

The shadow of Gluttony eating people looked good. The actual CGI... is grossly unfinished.

Shou Tucker tries and fails to be the main villain. It's almost cute.

Oh god. The cyclopse dolls animate like Going To The Store. This just looks silly.

Alphonse: I can't move my body. Animators: Oh. How convenient.

Oh yeah. Riza Hawkeye exists.

Aw, now that the movie's over they're trying to wring emotions out of every person's single character trait.

A bright light started shining on the cast and I prayed they were about to get hit by a train. Nope. It was the sun, rising on a new day.

In short: It sucks.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Heavy Metal

Sometimes it’s fun to revisit old movies you watched when you were younger and find out, hey, this is better than you remembered! Sometimes your young mind just wasn’t ready to accept how awesome something was, and you needed time to fully understand what you look for and like about cinema to truly appreciate it. But then, sometimes, you watch something you liked when you were younger, and you realize… wow, this is absolute dog shit!

Such is the case with Heavy Metal. This is a movie I have frequently cited as a low-ranking entry on lists of the finest animated films of all time, and to be entirely fair to the film, it is important in a historical sense, being a cult classic that was passed around through bootlegs because music rights kept it from getting a home video release, and it came out around the dawn of the 80s and kind of destroyed what you would think an animated film was capable of. This film is full of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, and it entirely, unabashedly unashamed of this, for better or for worse.

Now, while I do think the overall film is a bit lacking, it is an anthology film divided into segments, and there are some pretty good ones I will make note of; this is not a film with absolutely no merit. But before that, let me point out the one thing everyone can agree is amazing about this film: the soundtrack. You’ve got Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, Stevie Nicks, Devo, Cheap Trick… if nothing else, the kickass soundtrack is worth a listen, though Blue Oyster Cult’s song inclusion irritates me to a great degree. The movie went with “Veteran of the Psychic Wars” for the soundtrack, despite the fact Blue Oyster Cult had a song ready to go that is literally about the final entry in the anthology, called “Vengeance (The Pact).” Why the people compiling the soundtrack made this choice baffles me; it reminds me of how they didn’t use “Jennifer’s Body” in, well, Jennifer’s Body, instead opting for a different Hole song from the same album.

But I digress. Let’s go one by one and touch on the segments:

The framing device is about an entity known as the Loc-Nar, who claims to be the sum of all evil, detailing to a little girl how it has influenced chaos and carnage across time and space. The thing is, though, the Loc-Nar doesn’t come out on top in any of the segments, and its schemes are often thwarted. So the entire movie is basically this supreme evil being detailing to a little girl how much it sucks ass at its one job.

The first segment is Harry Canyon, a story about the eponymous futuristic New York taxi driver. In some regards it reminds me of The Fifth Element, what with a scruffy, slummy, futuristic taxi driver trying to help a smoking hot babe find out the truth and all, but unlike that film, this short is a lot bleaker and gritty. You kinda know what you’re in for when Harry vaporizes a dude who tries to mug him, and if that’s not enough, the female lead of this short literally throws herslef at him, and yes, he gets to take a dive into her Harry Canyon – and you get to see it.

This is a running theme throughout these shorts – almost every female character has huge titties and is sexually promiscuous, throwing themselves at the first penis they see as if it was their job. It’s so incredibly juvenile and tacky as to be laughable, but I guess this comes with the territory considering the magazine this film adapted.

Anyway, the segment is harmless and unremarkable. It’s exactly what you’d expect from this sort of story, without much in the way of twists or turns.

The second segment, Den, is arguably the best segment in the entire film. We have a nerdy kid named Dan who gets transported across space and becomes the musclebound warrior with a huge cock known as Den. Every woman throws herself at him, every villain in his way gets pummeled, and no task is too impossible for this man! And did I mention that he is voiced by John Candy? Really, Candy’s comedic touch is what makes this entire thing feel fun and palatable; it’s a cheesy swords and sorcery romp through and through. Honestly, I don’t have much bad to say about this one, it’s just very silly fun.

Unfortunately we are back to being not great with Captain Sternn. Sternn, played by Eugene Levy (of The Wacky World of Mini Golf fame), is basically an intergalactic war criminal on trial, and when his paid witness Hanover Fiste (played by Rodger “Squidward Tentacles” Bumpass) comes up to the stand, the Loc-Nar influences him to the most evil act possible… betraying this war criminal in front of the judge and jury! GASP! I’m not sure what the Loc-Nar is really trying to do here; you’d think it would maybe want Sternn free to continue spreading wicked influence across the galaxy, but nah, it just makes Squidward hulk out and tries to kill him, only for the tables to be turned and Squidward to be dropped out an airlock, further cementing how utterly useless the Loc-Nar is.

Thankfully, once that’s over, we have yet another very strong segment, another contender for best in show: B-17. This is a genuinely creepy zombie short film, and the zombies are utterly horrifying and grotesque. This is regarded as the most nightmarish part of the film, and for good reason; this shit is certainly worthy of being called “heavy metal.” Honestly, there isn’t much bad to say about this one either, except perhaps that it is over far too soon.

Then we get to what is probably the worst segment: So Beautiful, So Dangerous. The entire segment is sort of meant to be a lighthearted comedic breather between The last segment and the final one, but it just comes off as combining every problem the movie has into one segment: the uselessness of the Loc-Nar, copious and ridiculous sex, drugs, and so on. Really all that’s missing from this is gratuitous violence, but hey, guess you can’t have everything all the time, right? It just comes off as really dull and pointless, and there’s not really anything particularly funny about anything that happens in it, unless of course you’re a thirteen year old who thinks “big boob woman having sex with robot while aliens snort cocaine” is the funniest shit on Earth.

Thankfully, we end on a strong note with Taarna, which is about a proud warrior woman dressed in horrifically impractical armor (and this actually effects the plot, I’m not kidding, somehow there was some self-awareness here) and a cool alien pteradactly flying off to fulfill a vengeful pact after the slaughter of a peaceful race by barbarians mutated by the Loc-Nar, in what may be the Loc-Nar’s sole impressive feat. Taarna is the ultimate hero, giving us the trifecta of qualities a heroine in this movie should have – boobs, butt, and bush... Er, I mean, sword, cool mount, and ass-kicking prowess. This one is not quite as good as “Den” or “B-17,” but I still think it’s a solid finale that has enough action and awesome music to make up for its tackier elements.

The movie ends with Taarna’s defeat of the Loc-Nar echoing through time and killing it which… makes absolutely zero sense, but whatever, the Loc-Nar is an absolutely atrocious villain and perhaps one of the most useless in cinematic history, he gets a 1/10 on Psycho Analysis. Then the girl gets her own kickass space dragon thing and becoming the new Taarna or something and, honestly, it’s the exact  sort of batshit ending you should expect from the film.

So, is this really an awful film? In some places, no. It’s a love letter to cheesy, trashy sci-fi fantasy from the 70s, with all that comes with it, and in that regard it does succeed. But still, a lot of the film feels like the utterly juvenile fantasies of same sad high schooler, or perhaps even middle schooler, who has never had and who likely never will have sex. It’s a tashy little time capsule to a bygone era where this sort of storytelling was okay so long as there was enough blood and titties on display, so if that appeals to you, by all means, check this film out. It’s certainly not the worst thing in the world to watch, but animation has come so far and adult animation in particular is capable of so much more than adolescent masturbatory fantasies that this film has little value beyond a few solid segments and a damn good soundtrack.

Hell, just go listen to the soundtrack. I think you’d have a better time doing that.

[livefordrama]

Reviewing Dramas I Have Watched Part 8

Again, here is my rating system:  1- Did not like, 2- Enjoyed but probably wouldn’t watch again, 3- Enjoyed and would watch some episodes again/may watch again, 4- Enjoyed and would watch again, 5- Loved 

Korean Drama

My Strange Hero: 4

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Bullying, Verbal and Emotional Abuse

My Strange Hero is about a man named Bok-su (which stands for revenge), who was falsely accused by his friend and girl friend of shoving his friend off the school roof and expelled from high school. Now nine years later, he gets the opportunity to return to school but he isn’t just going to go back nicely, seeing the seemingly cozy lives those who betrayed him are living he decides to enact his revenge by proving how corrupt the high school and the people working in it are. However, his plans for revenge get more difficult to achieve when he begins to fall for his ex-girlfriend once again. 

This show was cute and interesting, it made me mad and lot and Yoo Seung-ho never disappoints. I ended up watching it in less than a week with studying and all so it draws you in really fast. I absolutely loved the realistic factor of not having to forgive everyone for a good ending and to move on. Many shows, kdrama or otherwise, make characters forgive even those who did horrible things to them just for a good ending, and it’s not always that simple nor do you owe those who did horrible things to you an apology to be a good person and move on looking at you Missing Nine. However my main complaint with it is that the ending isn’t as impactful or satisfying as the ending three episodes previous. I’m glad they had the three ending episodes because the other characters got more closure, I just wish they would have made it as impactful as the ending of episode 29. It is about thirty minutes an episode so it’s a really fun and interesting watch if you need something on the shorter side. I highly recommend!

Love Alarm (Season 1): 3 

Trigger Warning: Bullying, Suicide, PTSD, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Abuse 

Love Alarm deals with the concept of having an app that can read your emotions and alerts your phone when you are in 10 meters of someone who loves you or alerts your crushes phone if they are within the 10 meters. It follows Jojo, a girl with a mysterious and sad past, who can’t download Love Alarm because of her phone. She is in an unhappy relationship and begins to have feelings for the new student. After being kind to a student, he gives her the phone and she can finally download it only to find that love is a lot more complicated than she originally expected. 

Okay, I started this show because the new season was coming out and everyone was freaking out about it. I had been avoiding it all this time because I love Song Kang and have been following his work since his smaller roles, hoping he would get bigger roles. I was so excited when I first heard he would be the main here but couldn’t ever bring myself to watch it cause I don’t like romance love triangles and already knew he was playing the webtoon second lead which made it worse. Plus I have a trauma with anything that has Kim So-Hyun in it. I adore her acting, she is so good, too good. She just always plays in really sad, dark Kdramas and I always like the second leads in her shows so I just get sad and angry when I watch her shows. I at the time just didn’t feel like dealing with being annoyed and finally got in the mood to watch a cheesy love triangle romance. *spoiler alert* I can confidentially say that while no character and no ship is necessarily healthy, I do prefer Sun-ho to Hye-yeong. No, not because he is played by Song Kang, in the first few episodes I hated his character. I wanted to punch him so badly, but with all his immature flaws he did do some mature things. He told Hye-yeong to not fight over Jojo and to let her pick which I loved because, shows like to have the two people fight amongst themselves who gets the crush and that’s so stupid to me, Jojo is a person with feelings too and she might not like either so I loved that he said that. I also loved that instead of telling Hye-yeong not to pursue Jojo because he still loved her, he told Jojo to stay away from Hye-yeong so that he wouldn’t be hurt by her like Sun-ho was. He still loved her but his friend came first, and I felt horrible when he lost almost everyone who genuinely loved him. Hye-yeong is okay, but he isn’t even a healthier option, he literally stalks her all the time without her even knowing about it, he memorized her daily routine, where he’s going to college so he could move there to be around her, it’s just too creepy to me. Yes, Sun-oh stalked her too and that is not okay at all, but he made his presence known so that she can voice if she was uncomfortable or knew to call someone if she felt threatened, Hye-yeong sneaks around and doesn’t even talk to her and that’s super creepy to me. I just think they are both immature and personally with some growth I think Sun-oh is more fitting than Hye-yeong cause the two really do seem like they are in love with each other while Jojo and Hye-yeong seem like a crush that will turn out to be more platonic. I know it’s wishful thinking but that’s just my hopes. *spoiler over* I did really love this show actually, sometimes you just need a trashy dramatic romance. Yes, it had toxic behaviors but I still liked it, it felt like a realistic teenage couple in high school (minus Mr. Stalkery Stalks.) I think that not everything has to be analyzed, I enjoyed the cute romantic scenes at face value, even though I knew they weren’t healthy. If it happened to me in real life, I would have punched a bitch but it’s fun to watch on a screen. 

Blood: 2

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Suicide, Terminal illness, Murder, Abuse. 

Blood is about a surgeon who is also a vampire. He tries to control his vampire self and help humans while working on a way to make himself human. When he transfers to a new hospital things take a turn for the weird as the patients of the new ward start exhibiting symptoms he is all too familiar with. 

Blood was really good for the first two thirds of the series. I watched it before I found out about the main couples real life situation but continued to enjoy it because it’s none of my business what they do in their personal lives (so please don’t message or leave comments about that situation or your opinions on it.) Both couples were super cute and there were some plot twists that admittedly got me. I liked the story line and the idea that vampires were viruses that doctors were researching in secret. I really got hooked for most of the story; however, the last few episodes felt almost like they switched writers and the new writer had never watched the previous episodes. Comments were made that never were brought up again, like the thirty minutes of vaguely discussing his parents and who he was as an infectee that was never even slightly brushed upon for the rest of the episodes let alone resolved. Not to mention that last episode was a total mess and the ending sucked. The last two episodes are not canon in my mind that’s how weirdly out of place for the show they felt, it was like a 180. The ending was so confusing and I just really hated how it all played out. Because of this, I give the show a 2 cause I did enjoy it a lot but I won’t watch it again. Once of that was enough. 

Legend Hero: 4

Legend Hero, also known as Legend Hero Samgugjeon or Legends Heroes the Three Kingdoms, is about people who compete in a dream battle to acquire their ultimate dream. The main character acquired three spirit helpers which help him in combat by transforming him into an armored knight with special power, and later befriends angels who help him in the battles by boosting this power. He has to fight friend and foe alike to achieve his ultimate dream but that begs the question, is a dream really worth it?

I really enjoyed this show, it was admittedly difficult to get into at first but once I did, I was hooked. The characters were so cute and endearing, the plot had humor, angst, and fluff alike. The acting was a little silly at points but it was made for kids so it’s a little overdramatic. It was all around a very entertaining watch, I watched the whole series while on vacation during the resting hours when my family and I were lazing around the hotel and it was such a refreshing, happy, lazy watch. I highly recommend for those who enjoy a happy watch when they just wish to relax.

Web-Drama/Mini-Series

Power Rangers Dino Force Brave: 4

Power Rangers Dino Force Brave, while technically a sequel to the super sentai series, is a original stand alone production and sSouth Korean take on the power rangers series. While the power rangers finally enjoy the peace that had come to the earth, a new threat is brewing. The Neo-Deboth Army has arrived looking for the power of the dinosaur king, the power ranger once more have to come together to defeat this threat.

This show was super interesting and cute. I have never seen any of the power ranger series so I am entirely inexperienced when it comes to their world. However, I can confidentially say this is a good stand alone as I was not confused while watching it. The first episode got recommended to me on youtube and since I was bored and unsure of what to do, I decided to watch it. I believe I finished the whole series in only a few days. It was super cute and I liked how ironic and silly the ending was with all the characters, including the evil ones dancing together. I’m sure die hard power rangers fans hated that but as someone who knows nothing about the series, I found it quite hilarious. The plot itself was entertaining and cool, it had some angst moments and some cute moments. I loved the ending, but that’s all I will say about that. 

Founder of Diabolism Q: 3

Founder of Diabolism Q is simply snippets of cute or funny scenes from the book that didn’t make it into the series or at least not in as much detail. It follows many characters in small, five minute long episodes and the shenanigans they get in to. 

Founder of Diabolism Q was super cute! I have watched The Untamed and read some of the book but haven’t watch the actual anime yet. Still, I decided to watch this short series. I watched each episode as it came out and loved every one. There isn’t much to say on it though, other than it was super cute and if you love The Untamed or its adaptions, I highly recommend. Just make sure you watch or read one of the full adaptions first otherwise you will be very confused. 

Imaginary Cat: 4

Trigger Warning: Depression, Suicide, Vomit, Illness, Death

Imaginary Cat is about an aspiring webtoon artist who, after loosing his crush and falling into a depression, finds a cat in an alley and takes her in. He is able to recover from the loss and get back into writing when he meets a girl who is obsessed with cats especially after she lost her kitten as a child. He is just trying to get his webtoon accepted and she just wants to get close to him and his cat. 

This was such a cute little easy watch, but was really sad at some points throughout the series. I teared up through some scenes and laughed so hard through others. I also related a lot to how the main plays with his cat, especially when said cat wants none of it. It was a really nice mini-drama to watch in the very little time I had between studying and moving house. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would highly recommend to those who want a easy watch that’s a little sad and very cute. 

Korean Movies

The Magician: 4

Trigger Warning: Blood, Abuse, Drugs, Suicide Attempt, Murder, Death

The Magician is set in the Joseon Era and follows the famous magician, Hwan-hee. He along with his blind friend Bo-eum ran away from their abusive caretaker as children and are still worrying about being found by him even to this day as they perform to keep their livelihoods. Meanwhile a noble lady who was sold to the Qing dynasty comes to town. The two end up running into each other and quickly fall in love, however they both have to overcome the obstacles in their way in order to be together. 

I loved this movie, I had to pause a few times just to process how much I personally enjoyed it. I wish I was able to watch it in a better quality because I never once saw how his one eye was blue, I just took their word and the movie poster for it. Unfortunately, it was the only place I could find to watch so I took what I could. The only reason I am giving it a four instead of a five is the ending sucked. I hated the ending. It just felt unnecessary and honestly really pissed me off. I don’t always need a happy ending but I also didn’t need that kind of ending either. I would still recommend it to those who like angst with some romance and a open-ish ending. 

Seondal The Man Who Sells the River: 5

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Death, Vomit, Gore

Seondal is supposedly a comedy about a group of swindlers who become fast family after escaping from a war they were drafted in. They work together to swindle their way into riches and out of dangerous situations. They gained a huge name in the Joseon dynasty for even swindling the king. However, after tragedy strikes, they decide to do their greatest job yet, sell a river of fake gold. 

The movie was really good, both funny and heartbreaking. My friend and I watched it together thinking it would be a nice comedy after we watched some sad kdrama earlier that week however, it was most certainly not. We both ended up crying and raging. So just be warned it claims to be a comedy and it is hilarious for the first half of the movie, however it quickly turns dark so fast you are just sitting their in shock wondering what happened. I thought Xiumin’s acting was great and his character was adorable. I had not seen his acting before and he easily became a favorite. The movie’s plot and writing kept you engaged and entertained throughout and the ending was great in my opinion. Overall it was a really good watch, I have seen it twice now and thoroughly enjoyed it. I highly recommend to those who enjoy both comedy and angst.

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[crazylittlethingy]

He loves me (Part 7.5) - mall adventure

abusive!dabi x reader (eventually x hawks)

a/n: I don’t actually know if this part adds anything to the story itself but I felt like they deserved to have this little friendship moment and I think I’m starting to like Ren a little bit too much…

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

The local mall was a know place between teenagers to hang out, being avoided by older people on Fridays for the sake of their mental health. Which never actually made sense.

It had the default mall look, which consists in white and glass everywhere. The stores were anyone’s favorite part, especially capitalism’s, because they were so colorful, or colorless (Hot Topic says hi), filled with products you didn’t need but you certainly wanted and would, usually, deny those wants, but with a Naomi by your side, wanting to try on clothes and taste sweets, it was hard.

Which is how the four of you found yourselves at the first clothing store.

“(Y/N)! COME LOOK AT THIS” yelled Naomi, your local rich kid, at a nearby rack.

You walked up to her slowly, looking around to see if you liked something, and, as you looked behind you to make a comment to Keigo about a shirt with a funny quote, you realized both boys were no where in sight. Did they really leave you to deal with Naomi’s shopping spree alone?

“(Y/N)!” Said girl got to you and was dragging you to see some other rack. “Look! I need a new shirt” you highly doubted that “and these are from the newest collection! Aren’t they beautiful?”

As you were about to answer, she started to talk about the details of said collection, the material, how it was sewed, which color she thought would look good with a certain look and you did your best to listen, sometimes voicing your opinion about a certain piece, when you saw something in the corner of your eye.

Keigo was standing there, a feet or so away from you guys, walking towards you with a bright smile, wearing a flowery red hat, a striped lime green dress and jeans with a bright blue belt. Talk about 2000’s Disney. And honestly? He looked goofy, which made you laugh and him to grin at the way your laugh was so loud.

Naomi, confused, searched what caused your sudden outburst and she wasn’t disappointed, joining you and holding her stomach after a few seconds. Keigo looked satisfied with both of your reactions and started to pose for you.

“Oh my, I know, I know, I am too beautiful for your eyes and being blessed like this causes you to be filled with joy!” He said, duck pouting, with a hand behind his head and the other on his waist.

“Oh definitely, oh great fashionista” you managed to say between laughs “And what a great honor would it be if you thought me your ways”

“Hell to the no” suddenly Naomi was serious “As much as it is a good laugh I wouldn’t let you be fooled by the harlequin. And by the way… where is Ren?”

“You mean my most wonderful helper?” “Please, Keigo, the boy is too wonderful to be led into that path” pleaded Naomi.

“I see you have little faith in me Naomi” Ren murmured from behind Keigo, having been obscured by his wings. He was wearing his normal clothes.

“Ren! What are you doing with those clothes? I though you were on my side” Keigo made a pleading face, with a bout and wide eyes, resulting in a pink cheeked Ren that refused to look at him.

“Even if you are my friend, your taste is terrible” he answered, his hand covering his mouth and eyes still looking away from the giant bird man, whose pout increased.

“HA! I knew Ren was better than that!” Naomi went to Ren’s side and put her arm on his shoulder “Therefore, he’ll be my helper”

“Helper?” The other three asked.

“Yes, we’ll do a little fashion show here” the spoiled girl smiled in a way that was both beautiful and scary.

After looking through the whole store and pilling up mountains and mountains of clothing, Naomi was satisfied and gave the green light for your fashion show. Yet, even with her guidance, Keigo still insisted on adding a few of his touches to her looks or went with a combination that was completely bizarre, resulting in screams from a scandalous Naomi and laughs from you and Ren. The boy actually knew a lot about fashion too and was telling you about the color he thought would suit you and how to wear a certain outfit.

And when the time for the last outfit came, your phones were full of silly pictures of the four of you in the most outrageous outfits and funny faces, but, on that last outfit, Keigo decided to ignore Naomi and Ren decided to spread his wings a little. It took your breath away, even if the clothes themselves were ‘simple’.

Keigo was wearing a grey shirt with black jeans and black snickers with white details. But what made the outfit more special were the accessories. On one arm, he had two metal bracelets, one designed as a chain and the other as a wing, a watch with a red bird in it in, a ring on his index finger with what also reminded you of a pair of wings closing together; on the other arm was a reddish leather bracelet. And, around his neck, two chains, the one shaped as a wing dangling. He looked good and he knew it, smirking to the mirror, his eyes met yours.

You didn’t think much of the outfit chosen for you, you simply liked it because you felt it went with your personality and were surprised with how comfortable it was. When your (e/c) eyes met golden ones, Keigo’s smirk vanished, his mouth slightly agape and eyes warm. (A/n: I didn’t describe a proper outfit for you because maybe what I think is beautiful and nice may not be the thing you’d go for, so, if you want, I’d like to know what outfit you’d choose! So, please, comment!)

You were in a trance broken only by the sound of Naomi finding the outfit of her dreams, apparently. She wore a black see-through shirt, with a black piece that reminded you of a triangular bikini, light brown velvet skirt, high heeled black boots and a crystal necklace. She spun around and smiled as bright as the sun, probably already planing places to go with the outfit and, as she looked at you, it became clear that she was including you in those plans. She was a comforting force in the middle of her own caos sometimes.

“My my, don’t you look dashing, darlin’?” Her kind smile soon turned into a mischievous one as she looked at your best friend “Don’t you think she looks dashing, Keigo?”

“How about you, Naomi? Don’t you think Ren looks dashing?” He replied without missing a beat. It made your heart hurt a little when you realized he avoided her question about you.

And as none of you girls had noticed, Ren had gotten out of the fitting room. As you recently discovered, he liked to look good. You were used to him hiding in the uniform, shoulders tense, waiting for unwanted attention, and head hung low. But this Ren? He was standing tall, looking you all in the eyes, still a little bit pink, but expecting to hear your opinions. He knew what he was doing when he choose a black crop top that had a circular zipper, brown pants held by a black belt with some chains on the side (wait… was he secretly an e-boy???) and a pair of white sneakers. It was the first time you saw Naomi at a loss of words, so you offered your own.

“You’re looking sharp, Ren… and I bet Naomi totally agrees with me” said girl was looking like a fish out of water, but, at least, she nodded.

You expected Ren to turn red, like he always did when receiving a compliment, yet he surprised you once more and grinned widely, boy even dared to wink at you!

“Thanks, (y/n)-chan, it seems like you listened to me about the (f/c), it really suits you” ok, who was this Ren?

“Woah, kid, didn’t know you could wink and thank you” you replied and he laughed.

“I guess I can? I don’t know, but, sometimes, the right armor can help you through the day” as he shrugged, a little more tense, you noticed something: the uniform was a weight for him, one he carried and didn’t want to. Maybe it was something at home, maybe it was on his own mind, but, right in that moment, he was vulnerable, showing a little piece of himself he was sure about, maybe even proud of. And so were you.

“Well, good to know I won’t need to ask Naomi for fashion advise anymore, all she does is yell at me” Keigo said nonchalantly.

“And I know that if you are not buying that, Ren, I am. It will be a gift” Naomi said, coming out of her trance.

“O-oh, thanks Naomi-chan, but you don’t need to buy me a gift” shy Ren is back.

“Oh, love, seeing you in that outfit is a gift for me” Naomi winked at him, her Cheshire smile at full force, and the effects were immediate as Ren turned a deep red.

When you got out of that store, two hours had gone by and you still had so much ground to cover. So you and Keigo made a deal: if your group was to enter another clothing store, you two were going to leave Naomi and Ren there and go somewhere else.

You left them behind three times and, on those three times, both teens went out of the stores in a hurry, yelling when they wouldn’t find you, about 30 minutes after you left them.

During those escapades, you and your blonde friend went to a videogame store, talked about videogames you knew and liked and heard Keigo talk enthusiastically about his favorite ones. You also went to a library, discussing book plots, characters and authors. And finally to a restaurant, as the sun was going down and your hunger grew. Your last destination pleased Naomi because ‘spending money leaves an empty space on your wallet and stomach’.

The place was little and full, the air filled with a characteristic smell of fryed food and chatter. The table you were sitting at was square and grey, with a flower vase filled with lavenders and some napkins.

As usual, you talked about school, training and rising superheroes, but also about tv series, comic books and gossips.

“And how about that mysterious friend of yours, (y/n)-chan? How is he and when are we meeting?” Naomi chirped. Keigo turned serious at the mention of Touya.

“Ah… that is… a childhood friend, we talked about how he had been doing in those years we’ve been apart and… well he is a little… shy. I don’t think he’d like to meet you guys right away” you answered.

“I’m shy and I was forced to meet you all right away” Ren murmured

“That’s because you are a cutie” Naomi send a wink his way for the second time that day. “This ‘childhood friend’ is more like ‘(y/n) personal secret’, we won’t learn anything unless we force her to speak or follow them around and discovered something dark” she wiggled her fingers like some people do when telling a horror story.

“I think he is suspicious (Naomi: “Ohhhh is a he then? Is he single? I mean, do he likes girls and is single?”/ you: “I… don’t know, I’ll ask him another time”) aham excuse me, I am talking. Like I said, he is kinda suspicious, because, I mean, he appeared out of nowhere and was standing there in front of our school like a creep. People change along the years, maybe you shouldn’t be alone with him or trust him right away” The blond huffed as he crossed his arms and slacked his posture, pouting like a baby whose favorite candy was denied.

You sighed.

“I can’t deny he is a completely different person now… but he is also my first friend. Somewhere, in his heart, he still has some of the qualities engraved on my memories, I know that” you answered, more to yourself than to your friends, hoping your words were true.

When you returned home, it was already night.

As you lied down to sleep, you looked outside your window, hoping the stars could answer your prayers, that they could confirm that your future would be good.

Taglist:

@aly-insanity​

@a-typical-antisocial-fangirl​

@memekingofwwiii​

@axerrri​

@elizabeththe3third​

@angiepoggiart​ 

@kittyddandnyla​ 

@crystaldragon-69​ 

[almasexya]

Dragon vs. Big Toad just didn’t sound as cool (Battle of Dragons, 1966)

We’re taking a quick jump back to 1966 real quickly to take a look at a film I wasn’t able to get my hands on until now, a picture with a whopping three titles to its name. I’ll be calling it Battle of Dragons because that’s what my blu ray calls it, but it also goes by The Magic Serpent, and in the transliterated Japanese, Decisive Battle of the Giant Magic Dragon.

Gee, I’m thinking there might be a dragon in this movie.

This is however a watershed moment for Japanese kaiju cinema, if only because it represents a third company throwing its hat into the arena of guys in rubber suits beating on each other. Battle of Dragons was produced by Toei, and while I don’t know much about the studio, a quick glance through their Wikipedia entry suggests they weren’t unfamiliar with special effects pictures. Toei wouldn’t stay too long, only co-producing one other kaiju film before getting out of the business.

Watching the film, that is made clear almost immediately, as it’s stuffed to the radioactive gills with the kind of special effects nonsense that as far as I can tell, even Toho wasn’t trying to touch. A sorcerer transforms into a giant dragon, wizards leap around like video game characters, and the protagonist gets his head cut off, only for his body to keep moving around while his head mocks the poor sap who did the beheading, and we’re not even 15 minutes in. To call Battle of Dragons ridiculous is an unconscionable undersell - this film is fucking bonkers and it loves it, and you can’t go five minutes without something completely off the wall hitting you like an absolute shotgun blast.

You’re probably asking yourself where the plot fits into this, and I hope it doesn’t surprise you when I tell you that you could scribble out the plot of Battle of Dragons onto a napkin and not miss a lick of subtlety, but I’ll try and give it some space to breathe.

The film begins in a nice feudal kingdom full of nice peaceful citizens, which, if you’ve read any of my pieces on the Daimajin series, ought to give you a clue where we’re headed. An evil retainer shows up, his mustache mid-twirl as he gleefully tells the lord of the realm that he’s come to steal his throne, along with the help of evil sorcerer type Orochi-Maru (Ryutaro Otomo) who transforms into a giant dragon and destroys the tiny boat transporting the young lord Ikazuchi-Maru to safety. Can you see where this is going? Do I really have to keep typing this?

Anyway, before the dragon can eat the poor boy, a giant bird shows up to slash the dragon’s face open in what can only be called a Tarantino-esque spray of blood, after which the bird spirits the young boy away straight into a training montage. See the bird is actually a crazy old wizard named Dojin Hiki (Nobuo Kaneko) who trains Ikazuchi Maru in the ways of plot armor, and after the montage is over, Ikazuchi Maru is already a full fledged ninja/wizard (Dojin Hiki, in his first set of lines, tells his charge he has nothing left to teach him, rocketing him far away from whatever Luke Skywalker analogue you might be thinking we’re in for).

So Ikazuchi-Maru sets off into the world to do the usual avenging that the plot needs him to do, though he doesn’t get far before being beset by a bunch of ninjas (this is where the beheading scene comes in) after which he quickly meets a mysterious girl who’s searching for her father, tangles with the wicked Orochi-Maru, and watches his master die. He also, apropos of nothing, starts calling himself Jiraiya, and his mysterious lady friend Sunate (Tomoko Ogawa) realizes her missing father is the evil sorcerer Jiraiya is fighting with. Heavy stuff.

The film ends off, predictably, in a titanic clash between Orochi-Maru in his dragon form and Jiraiya as a giant flame-breathing toad (”Ah, so I see you took the toad scroll,” Orochi-Maru yells, as if that makes any of this okay). The two of them bash into each other in a well-constructed castle set, and all looks lost until Sunate uses a plot coupon she got from the wizard to turn into a giant spider and shoot shaving cream at the dragon, allowing Jiraiya to get the upper hand, avenging his father and claiming his birthright.

If it sounds like I’m dunking on this movie, I promise I legitimately love it. Even though it has barely any stakes, the plot blows along at such a breakneck pace that the 85 minute runtime flies by, and it’s fun watching Jiraiya and Orochi-Maru re-enacting anime RP battles from 2002 as they both constantly one up each other until somebody picks up their ball and goes home.

The monster designs are fun, if a little on the uninspired side. The suits have a neat, rough texture to them that makes them look more realistic - the dragon looks authentically scaly and the toad is covered in big ugly warts, though their mouths look a bit silly and fake when they open up to blast each other or roar, which they do pretty much every 10 seconds. The choreography isn’t a lot to write home about, with a lot of clobbering and pushing around, but in a fun twist, the two fighters yell at each other mid-fight, which helps to remind the audience that these are real people, not just big dumb monsters.

Honestly, Battle of Dragons is an absolute riot that any kaiju fan should check out, from the insane effects to the weird, jaunty theme song apparently sung by a chorus of children, which gives away the intended audience a bit, though the bloodless carnage really seals it. The kaiju combat isn’t much to write home about, but unlike the average kaiju film, the non-monster bits are fun as hell, arguably more fun in all honesty, and the short runtime means nothing ever feels stale, unlike something like The Three Treasures, which will still be playing during the heat death of the universe.

In conclusion, check this one out if you can. Don’t look anything up, just do it.

[mobius-prime]

243. Sonic the Hedgehog #174

Oh, gee, I wonder? Who could possibly be getting married in this issue? From what I've heard, apparently a full version of this cover with Bunnie and Antoine does exist, but this version was created for teaser and promo purposes, and for whatever reason just ended up being used as the cover instead of the full version. Strange, but oh well.

Union

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen

Well, it's time, everybody! We saw it coming for a little while there, but Antoine and Bunnie are finally getting hitched! It's the big day, and the morning sees everyone preparing for the ceremony, starting with Uncle Chuck helping Sonic get dressed in a sharp half-tux ('cause, you know, he never wears pants). He says goodbye to his parents and connects with Tails on the way to Freedom HQ to check in on Antoine, who has a pretty bad case of the pre-wedding jitters.

Where is Espio, then, anyway? Well, he's on a mission inside New Megaopolis, walking invisibly amongst the robots there to investigate Eggman's latest plot. As he sneaks his way into Eggman's main base, Sonic heads over to Bunnie's room, but is shooed away by Rosie and Sally, who are helping Bunnie get dressed - though they're happy to toss flower girl Amy out to be "entertained" by her crush. Bunnie's dress is uniquely hers: white as most wedding dresses are, but with metallic accents that complement her cyborg parts - and adorably, Sally has helped do her hair for the wedding, calling back to when they were younger and Bunnie wanted to be Sally's royal hairdresser.

While Bunnie and Rosie tease Sally further, Espio snoops around Eggman's base, and discovers a strange suit of battle armor that confuses him, wondering what it could be used for. As he continues to look around for clues, Sonic finally heads off to the castle to meet up with the rest of the party, running into Knuckles and Julie-Su on the way. Knuckles is pleased to see Julie-Su all dressed up, but Julie-Su hates it, eager to get this over with so she can change back into her normal comfortable clothes. Incidentally, I just want to point out that I absolutely love both her and Knuckles' outfits - they're not your traditional tux and fancy dress, but rather (as you can see above) Knuckles' outfit is some kind of tribal-inspired poncho, and Julie-Su's has a similar flair. It's honestly a great way to pay a little bit of respect to echidna culture, though obviously based a little more on the culture depicted in the games rather than Penders' version of echidna society. Anyway, Sonic jokes about the two of them getting married someday, but they both agree that they don't feel the need to, seeing their word to each other to be as good as anything. With that, Sonic finally heads into the castle proper to meet up with the main wedding party, minus the bride and groom.

Oof, that's a sore point there, Elias. Rosemary and Amadeus show up, the latter having been asked to act as the leader of the honor guard for the ceremony, and he seems pleased with Elias having become king in his absence. He makes a strange comment as Elias walks away, however, seeming to imply that Elias won't be in power for much longer, and when Tails asks him what he meant, he simply replies that in his and Rosemary's time in space, they developed some ideas for how to improve the government. I mean, Amadeus, I think we totally agree that this kingdom's government is kind of broken, but you don't need to say it in such a weird, villainous way…

And with that, the ceremony begins! Unfortunately, Espio still isn't back in time to witness it. He's currently hacking into one of Eggman's computers, and within its data, discovers all Eggman's plans laid bare, detailing the exact method he's going to use to take Knothole down. We don't get to see it, but whatever it is, it causes Espio to panic and forget to turn invisible again, meaning a sentry robot spots him and the entire city goes on alert. Elias conducts Bunnie and Antoine's ceremony while Espio runs for his life, being shot at and surrounded by more and more robots, with everyone at home unaware of the peril he - and all of them - are currently in.

With that, Espio is zapped away into one of Eggman's Egg Grapes, and Eggman stands there gloating, backed up by his entire army, ready to unleash his attack on Knothole without delay…

See Ya' Later Chao! (Part Two)

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley Colors: Jason Jensen

…wow. Well, on that note, time to go back to the silly chao garden stuff! Yeah, a real jarring shift in tone there, but I guess Ian had to find some place to complete this story. Eggman was quite disappointed at having tracked this seemingly-important energy source only to find a lousy, useless chao garden in its place, so naturally, the answer to his woes was to just make Sonic's life a little harder instead!

Knuckles caught the drill, and Tails came up with a plan to stop it and take out Eggman. He quickly flew over to hotwire the drill's control panel to send it flying in the direction he wants it to, then ordered Sonic to hit it on the side at the same time that Knuckles, with the help of their new chao friends, flung it upwards, causing it to crash directly into Eggman's hovercraft.

Aww, poor chao! Luckily, Sonic knew the perfect place to relocate them - the actual Lake of Rings next to Knothole, of course! Back at home, Sonic finishes his story to his mom, and she congratulates him on his heroism. Sonic somewhat cheekily points out that while all else is well, the chao that Jules has been playing with during this story has started to become metallic… looking exactly like… OMOCHAO! AAAAAAARGH!

Jokes aside, I do feel like I have to mention that this is the final appearance of Hershey the Cat in the entire comic, within the crowd at Bunnie and Antoine's wedding. (I didn't feel it was appropriate to mention this right after Espio got zapped away…) She is mentioned later on, but never again appears in person. It's a bit sad, as I do like her as a character, but at least even if we don't see her, we know she continues to exist and do her thing offscreen.

[gamex2020]

Saturn Games

12 Sega Saturn Games All Gamers Should Play

After the 16-bit console war between Sega and Nintendo, Sega started to noticeably lag behind. However, just because consoles like the Saturn and the Dreamcast weren’t extremely successful in sales doesn’t mean their library was lacking in awesome and weird genre-bending titles.

Not every franchise got to “graduate” from the fifth-generation of consoles, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t fantastic. Modern gamers might not know much about these, but these are truly memorable Games From Sega’s console-exclusive heyday. Get your hands on these games however you can; they’re really unique experiences on a very distinctive console.

Guardian Heroes

Before Castle Crashers showed off how fun a beat-em-up can be with RPG mechanics and simple combos, there was Guardian Heroes. This game was well-received when it originally came out on the Saturn, but now, it’s largely forgotten. The series has a spinoff on the GBA and a port to Xbox 360/Xbox One, but other than that, there’s been no word of a sequel or revival–not even a rumor.

The game controls like a fighting game with juggle combos, aerials, special moves, and a mana bar. There are only six characters playable in the story mode (two unlockable), but there are fun multiplayer versus modes to mess around with. After defeating a character in the story mode, they’re unlocked for use in multiplayer, and the combos can get pretty crazy with six concurrent players.

Dragon Force

Dragon Force is from an era where “RTS/Tactics RPG” wasn’t that unique of a genre. Nowadays, we have Fire Emblem, but Dragon Force was smack-dab in the middle of a golden age of Langrisser, Fire Emblem, Final Fantasy Tactics, and many other SRPG hits.

Something that sets Dragon Force apart from its peers is that it focuses on large-scale battles instead of small-scale ones. The fights aren’t duels like in Fire Emblem; generals can collide with 100 troops on each side, duking it out in skirmishes. Time passes in “weeks,” which lets the plot advance while you make out-of-battle decisions.

The game sold well at the time, but its sequel (also on the Saturn) never left Japan. No one spoke much about this game after the Sega Saturn kicked the bucket, which is a real shame; Dragon Force is a true diamond in the rough.

Astal

Action platformers were falling out of vogue by the time the Sega Saturn hit the stores. Astal, however, came out early in the system’s lifespan, and was still able to capitalize on the craze. The titular character Astal can grab and throw objects or enemies. He can also slam the ground and blow big gusts of air. On top of that, he has a super meter that commands his bird companion to bounce around, knocking out all enemies on screen.

This is a fun asymmetric co-op game, too. The second player plays as Astal’s bird companion, instead of just a palette-swapped version of Astal. The bird has his own unique set of attacks, making this game worth checking out with a friend.

Astal is short, but has challenging gameplay backed up by a unique hand-drawn aesthetic. Many indie games nowadays use hand-drawn graphics as a selling point, but it was really rare during the fifth console generation. The main character has had cameos in other Sega games since, but there’s no word of a sequel, revival, or crossover with another franchise.

Mr. Bones

At its core, Mr. Bones is an action platformer about a reanimated skeleton that can lose and regain limbs instead of using health or lives. That’s not totally accurate, though; certain levels were based on non-platforming genres, with rhythm game elements, Breakout-style gameplay, or perspective changes. It’s more like Lawnmower Man on the SNES rather than Castlevania.

The first run-through of the game is extremely silly and fun, especially going in blind. Getting used to the “skeletism” meter to replace the traditional health meter takes some getting used to, but it creates a fun sub-game of trying to hang onto all your bones. It really sucks not having your legs and being unable to jump in a platformer. Mega Man wouldn’t be as fun if he had to climb on the ground with his arms–but that’s part of what makes Mr. Bones so hilarious.

Mr. Bones had a very polarized reception, with some critics praising how much variety there was in gameplay while some others would have just preferred a normal platformer. This isn’t the greatest platformer of all time, but sometimes it’s just worth playing a game where the developers threw caution to the wind and put in every single gameplay function they felt like.

Policenauts

Before Hideo Kojima made Metal Gear Solid, he was making story-focused adventure games for a variety of platforms. After finishing the cult cyberpunk game Snatcher, he set to work on Policenauts, a sci-fi story about astronauts that are also law enforcement officials. It came to the PlayStation, the PC-9821, the 3DO, and of course, the Saturn.

Policenauts is like a cross between a point-and-click adventure game and a visual novel. It’s interactive, and requires the player to be a good detective and figure out the right dialog options to select and the right items to interact with. The Saturn version is also considered superior to other ports because it has first-person light gun segments not seen elsewhere.

There is an unofficial translation patch available for the Saturn, which uses dialog from an earlier fan translation for the PlayStation. If you want to see where Kojima honed his writing chops, play Policenauts. You’ll be the cool person that’s already played it once it gets an HD remaster.

Note that this came was never released in the U.S. and can only be played on Japanese Sega Saturn Consoles!

Princess Crown

Do you like classic beat-em-ups? How about collectible armor and items? Do you like a cutesy anime style backed up by serious gameplay? What about classic RPG enemies and locations with high-quality pixel art? If you answered yes to any of these, pick up Princess Crown.

Princess Crown is the brainchild of Capcom veteran George Kamitani. Because it was released near the end of the Saturn’s lifespan, it was a commercial failure, which led to Kamitani getting blacklisted in the games industry. He later went on to found Vanillaware, which re-established him as a developer.

Princess Crown’s core gameplay went on to spawn many spiritual successors, such as Odin Sphere, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, and Dragon’s Crown, all made by Kamitani. It’s great for the industry to have specialists like him.

Note that this came was never released in the U.S. and can only be played on Japanese Sega Saturn Consoles!

Mystaria: The Realms of Lore/Blazing Heroes

If you’re a fan of classic grid-based tactics RPGs, give Mystaria a try. The graphical limitations of the Saturn give it a unique, blocky, and vibrant aesthetic. There’s twelve special characters for you to get, and the story changes depending on who you want to recruit first. The story is not that complex, but being non-linear is a huge plus for keeping gamers engaged.

The menu system for navigating combat is cumbersome at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s fluid and fast. Plus, there’s a first-person camera mode, which is novel and weird. Try to play it in that mode, because you can’t get that in many other tactics RPGs.

Take a look at Mystaria if you feel like seeing what was once considered “next generation.” The game might seem archaic or underdeveloped now, but when it was released, Mystaria heralded what RPGs were going to look like, with 3D spells and effects backed up by camera changes to create cinematic fights.

Mystaria was released in North America as Blaze Heroes; they are the same game!

Crusader: No Remorse

There aren’t many games by Western developers on this list, but Crusader: No Remorse has definitely earned its entry. It uses pre-rendered graphics with an isometric perspective, much like the original Fallout or Diablo games. The gameplay, however, focuses on shooting, action, and interactable environments rather than RPG mechanics.

The environment destruction and playability is really where this game shines. There are alarm switches, non-combatants, puzzles, and a perspective that supports tactical gameplay rather than run-and-gun shooting. Most of the objects you see can either be destroyed or turned on your enemies in creative ways. If there’s a trap set for you, you can set it for somebody else.

There’s a sequel titled Crusader: No Regret, but it is only on MS-DOS. The first Crusader is actually recognized as an inspiration to the Fallout team. If you’re a fan of post-apocalyptic Western games, No Remorse is worth playing alone just for its contribution to the genre.

Die Hard Arcade/Dynamite Deka

Die Hard Arcade isn’t extremely faithful to the movie it’s based on, but the liberties it takes are genius. To start with, it’s a beat ‘em up that focuses on fighting game-style combos and improvised weapons. It also uses texture mapping that gives it a realistic feel, not unlike the sports games of the era.

Beat ‘em ups were falling out of favor at the time (much like tournament fighters and 2D platformers), but Die Hard Arcade kept things fresh. It’s got classic mainstays of the genre, like end-level bosses and two-player co-op, and the game brings with it a simple 3D setting and a boatload of attack options.

It’s short, but you’ll be happy to play it again and again, using new weapons and trying new combos. It’s really hard to beat crime bosses on the head with a broomstick. (Plus, Dynamite Cop on the Dreamcast is a great sequel, even though the setting is obviously different.)

Last Bronx

Last Bronx is, in many ways, a distinctly Japanese game. The setting is an alternate-future Tokyo where gangs and criminals rule. It’s a 3D fighting game that plays a lot like Virtua Fighter, but without ringouts. All of the characters and locations are unmistakably Japanese, with little room for the “worldwide fighting” variety the genre usually features.

Even though gamers in North America didn’t give the game too much attention, it was an instant classic in Japan. Casual gamers loved the variety of modes, the weapon-based gameplay, and the fluid animation. The graphics are better on the arcade, but the Saturn version is no slouch.

If you end up liking the game, there’s comics, a novel, radio dramas, and even movies to go along with it. Don’t bother watching the movie if you’re not a fan of the game, though…it’s pretty rough.

Magic Carpet

Peter Molyneux is popular these days for two things: over-promising on series like Fable, and getting mistaken for Stefan Molyneux. In his heyday, he was the king of making solid games with innovative aspects, like Black and White. Even before that, though, he worked on Bullfrog’s Magic Carpet.

The title describes it pretty perfectly. It’s a 3D flying game where you control–you guessed it–a magic carpet. The goal is to destroy monsters, collect their magic mana, and use it to build up a castle in each level.

The game is subtle, smooth, and some pretty simple fun. It’s great for zoning out with the lights off, flying around in the early-polygonal 3D environments and enjoying the sprites and spells. It probably won’t end up being your new favorite game of all time, but it’s a unique experience for the Saturn.

Theme Park

No one needs to be told that Roller Coaster Tycoon is a great series, and they’re undoubtedly some of the greatest games of all time. Before there was RCT, there was a game simply titled Theme Park, developed by Peter Molyneux and his crew at Bullfrog Productions.

The gameplay is self-explanatory for anyone familiar with the sim genre. Set up your rides and manage the logistics of the park. Try your best to keep it clean, keep it profitable, and most importantly, keep yourself from getting addicted. There are some elements in this game that aren’t seen often in other sim games, like managing the park’s financial stocks and negotiating business deals. Once you’ve made enough money on one park, you can auction it off and make another on a new plot of land.

Theme Park saw high critical acclaim upon release. Even though there were plenty of sim games sprouting during the fifth generation, Theme Park had a playful aesthetic and wasn’t as serious as Sim City or other competitors. Like many other sim games, it was developed with PC gaming in mind, but the console ports (including the Saturn) are just as smooth.

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Six

Wherein we get out into space and explore a bit, and complete our crew.

And post a lot of gifs, because screenshots were lost.

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

So I use the NVidia Control Panel app to take screenshots and videos.  Since it’s already running and it takes good shots it seems dumb to not use it.

I ended up being super busy this week and didn’t play much, just got through like, talking to Kaidan after the big speech on the bridge more or less for the entire week, and through Therum.  I updated my drivers a day or two ago.  And then I didn’t notice that for whatever reason, yesterday when I went to play for a few hours, NVidia decided to record videos just fine, but not take screenshots.  I probably actually mashed the button several hundred times.... but all I got were videos.

Most of it wasn’t a great loss, it was a lot of talking to the crew, and a few planetary missions which... so I’m going to have to go back and redo some of it later for screenshots.

But I thought... hey, for posting on tumblr, I’ll just make it a shorter update and make a few gifs and most this a mostly-gif post!  That’ll be fun!

...and then I spent several hours making almost 80 gifs, including a lot of what I also had screenshots for but thought making gifs would be more fun.  

I mean I was watching the last few eps of the newest season of Great British Bake Off on Netflix, and a few other shows this morning so it wasn’t just gif time... but yeah I made a lot.  So I might split this into two posts now because... that’s a lot of gifs. This post will still have a lot of screenshots, too.  So here we go!

There are so many things to love about this moment.  It’s such a great like, re-launch of the game... Bioware telling us “Okay, now you know the plot, you know all the major players, you know a lot about our world (galaxy) and how it works and who lives here, now, it’s time for you to go out on your own.”

First, it starts with being able to vent a little to Joker, which is a nice touch.  Shepard might feel guilty about taking the ship over from Anderson, but Joker also assures us here, a great preview of the way he’s tasked with helping Shepard keep it together in ME3.

I love seeing Shepard’s words affect the crew.  The swelling music, the same as the “you’re a Spectre now!!” music just underscores the journey, and what’s to come.

I used to always miss this scene by not picking the right speech option, and would be mad Kaidan was left out of this montage.  My fault!

This moment is so beautiful and epic.

...and here we go.

ALOT, btw, makes the galaxy map so pretty.  Sharper and clearer and more colorful.  

We all usually just head to Liara’s Dig Site first, right?  Unless you’re doing one of those “Pick up Liara last just to see what happens” playthroughs?  I did that once. It felt weird.  And sad, when you tell her “oops I killed your mom and I’m not sorry.”  Seems like she shouldn’t have gotten over that so quickly, but well, that’s game design.  The entire plot just doesn’t feel the same and more flimsy without Liara around from the start.

I usually do Therum --> Feros --> Noveria --> Virmire.

Well okay, first a stop at Edolus, since, you know, it’s on the way.

What a LOVELY day, nothing could possibly go wrong on this barren world. I feel like they gave us a pretty easy-to-get-around-on world to start out with.

I honestly love driving around in the mako 90% of the time?  Once you’re used to the controls, it’s not that hard to get most places you want to go.  Though I admit the Nomad in Andromeda is a big upgrade.  I kinda miss it in ME2 and ME3, though I only do what driving is necessary in Overlord and skip Firewalker like, half the time.

First, let’s check out the map...

I’m pretty sure I didn’t realize you could mark your destination on the map and it’d put a handy arrow on your radar until I started playing on PC.  Before then I was checking the map every 5 seconds making SURE I was going the right way.  *facepalm*  

Generally my scanning strategy on the planet is... just go to the things on the map, but do go to ALL the things on the map.  If I see something along the way, stop and get it.  I don’t go way out of my way to look for unmarked stuff.  Usually the UNC missions can be completed doing that + complete planet / asteroid scanning.

Oh hey here’s a guy, let’s just grab what we can off him...

UGH.  MINIGAMES.

Like I get that the minigame is a stand in for “looking for clues, are you successful in finding anything useful?” or whatever but it’s still just the worst.  A minigame is fun occasionally, making it as a gate to something like looting a body is stupid.  I guess I have to forgo actually putting points into things that keep Kaidan alive at the early levels so he can help me... loot bodies.  Cool.  Great.

Since I’m cheating in credits, all weapons and armor get medigelled almost immediately so that I don’t have to do the minigame later on when they get harder, like, ever.

The ME2 minigames at least make a little more sense than this moving puzzler thing.  That’s at least an attempt to look like some kind of code hacking or rewiring/reprogramming.  This thing is just... silly.

ME2 has a disable minigames mod... so there will be no talk of minigames from here on out.  They don’t exist after the easy minigames early on in ME1.

So I ... somehow managed to not get video or screenshots of you know the ICONIC THRESHER MAW attack on Edolus?  So please enjoy this gif I made of it back in 2013 instead.

It’s such a great fakeout and moment.  Like “Oh man how easy my goal is like right in front of me!  That’s great, so easy!” then OH HELL NO, FUCK YOU, GIANT WORM!!

These gifs are from another planet later on, but they’ll do.

My normal MO with Maws is to get out of the way, far enough that they can’t appear too close to or especially under me, but close enough that they do still show up, then stay stationary and jump over the goo while shooting at it.

YOU’RE FACING THE OTHER WAY HOW DID YOU SPIT AT ME?!

This is fine.  EVERYTHING IS FINE. We’re just A LITTLE ON FIRE.  Our shields are at full...

Oh hell, Kaidan slap some medigel on it, please.

Even though we don’t know who Cerberus is yet, FUCK YOU CERBERUS. I always bring the VS to any Cerberus mission because THEY WERE RIGHT NOT TO JOIN YOU IN CERBERUS.  Let’s keep a FUCK YOU CERBERUS count going to remember all the horrible shit we SAW Cerberus do in ME1 to remind ourselves why Ashley or Kaidan is the only SANE ONE for going “No, sorry, I’m not joining you in Cerberus.”

Deep breath

OK, let’s go get Liara.

Wrex comes with us to Therum.

Dear Lord, Therum is gorgeous.

This is real nice just a pleasant day on this thresher maw-less planet and great scenery, we’ll find that asari scientist in no ti--- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Have I mentioned how everything is fine lately?

Well it’s time for how I deal with most of the geth while in the Mako...

Armatures are worth five points each!

Rocket troopers are only two points, but I got a lot of them!

Stopping and fighting in the Mako takes way too long.  Push on through all the way til we’re stopped.

Hm, this is the one I should push, right?

*crickets*

Fine.

Just... real pretty.

I love this part of Therum right here.  A really great, scary fight that feels so dangerous, but winnable.  Great level design, too.

Then this happens.

Does everyone’s hair do that in this cutscene, or just mine, or this hairstyle?

Also, ME3 has a mod now that lets chracters use their correct weapons in cutscenes, my eternal devotion to the modder who could do that in ME1.  None of these characters use assault rifles in-game!!

I’m fairly certain I have played and replayed this fight more than any other in ME1.  AKA RUN FOR COVER OH SHIT AVOID THE BOMBS AND LASERS FLYING AT YOU AT ONCE PLEASE DON’T DIE COMPANIONS PLEASE KILL SOMETHING I CAN’T DO THIS ON MY OWN AHHHHH!!! 

This time around, I died my first time, actually did really well the second time, and decided to go back and record the fight for gifs and... won, barely.  The gifs would not be good.  Wrex and Kaidan didn’t last long. 

Anyway, It’s a great cutscene, but hoo boy I wish it were skippable.

Okay but what were these ruins *for*.  Also, real lucky that they had the boss fight way up here instead of down where Liara was.

Speaking of Liara...

Hello Doctor T’soni!

I have a lot of questions like... how long have you been in that bubble?  How are you sustaining it that long?  How long has it been since you’ve eaten?  If I didn’t come get you until after Virmire, would you have been holding that bubble up for the weeks in between then and now?  

Ah well, you’re here now, and I suppose I’m going to owe you my life later so... welcome to the team.

You gotta admit that’s one badass entrance, though uh, if the forcefield is still up, where did he come from?  Doesn’t matter.  Wrex, let’s kill us one of your brethren (sorry.)

I’ll just *assume* that Liara is too tired from holding up her stasis bubble she was in to actually be USEFUL.

I love the chaos of running the fuck out of there.

Texture popping is still an issue even with a decent computer and texture packs, but at least it’s quick now.

Also I really feel the loss of this conference room in the future games.  The awkward oval table never quite feels the same.  But also, uh, this is a lot of room taken up in this small ship for eight chairs and a holoprojector.  You gotta think there’s more uses for this space than just that.

But yeah, I love these check-ins, it’s a chance for everyone to get together and really hash out what’s going on, as well as reinforcing the plot to the players in a more natural way.  Having Liara this early will let us understand the Protheans better at an earlier stage, even if it turns out she’s wrong about some stuff (though at the time this was written, she was right for all everyone knew.)

Wrex and Garrus don’t talk much here, probably because you can make it through the game without one of them.  I did a “didn’t recruit Garrus” playthrough in ME2 once.  They change like one or two lines then Garrus goes back to talking about Old Times.  So like you CAN, but you really shouldn’t not recruit Garrus, because Bioware didn’t do a great job changing anything aside from your initial greeting during the Omega Archangel mission.

Not recruiting Wrex, though.  Wow that’ll have consequences later on.

OK!  So the gang’s all here, and this post is already very long.  Next time: Let’s go talk to everyone for awhile, and do a few more sidequests because we can’t go back to the Citadel til our persuasion is high enough to grind Mikhailovich’s arguments into the dust!

[thephant0mime]

Dragon Age Origins Fanfiction

So recently, I’ve looked at the first fanfiction I’ve written three years ago as I’m struck with a case of low motivation to continue my current projects. I’m currently struggling with making my writing immersive but the problem is, I have a weird reaction to that. A beta reader once told me to write it through my character’s senses because my current writing is not making readers connect with the character. Problem is, when I try to write as if I’m in my characters’ head, it feels weirdly violating, Like I’m committing mind rape to them. Probably because I write my characters as If they’re real, and I just give them the plot for them to react to it and I to record what they do with it. My characters rarely end up as I intended at first. So this immersion thing really messes up our dynamic and it’s affecting my current works to the point I’ve stopped writing altogether.

Anyway, I read my old finished fanfiction again and while I think it’s not as good as I thought then, it also surprised me. I’ve forgotten some of the old jokes and it made me laugh both because I enjoy it and surprised that I’ve actually wrote those funny things. Then an idea to solve my current problem appeared in my head and I’m testing it out to see if it works.

This is only an excerpt, but I’m planning a rework of my old fic for publication soon. It’s about the Fifth Blight and narrated by Philliam, A Bard wrote it like an interview style/non-fiction book. The old fic in question: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13074672/chapters/29909850

Chapter 2

Paragons are the elite of dwarven society and their symbol of dwarven excellence. They are the equivalent of gods in our society, for dwarves worship their ancestors and they consider paragons a living Ancestor, carrying the wisdom and will of the departed ones. They can be drawn from any caste, even the casteless, which is the only way one can change their caste upward. The house of one of our heroes was descended from such a Paragon.

The Noble House of Aeducan was founded when their ancestor became a Paragon for leading the dwarves against the darkspawn during the Fifth Blight and saved their race. Currently, they were the ruling, royal house of Orzammar, of which our hero belongs. 

Now he would have told his tale from when he was recruited into the wardens, but that would not give us an idea of his character. Coaxing him to start during his time in Orzammar before his recruitment was difficult, as I understood it was painful for him to recount those events the most, but I managed it, as you shall see.

Thorin Aeducan’s story:

I am Thorin Aeducan, the second child of King Endrin Aeducan. I have two brothers; Trian was the eldest and the heir apparent and Bhelen the youngest. We grew up close as only boys do, until our coming of age where we went to our separate ways; Trian to train under our father to succeed him and me and Bhelen off to the army and lead them against the eternal threat of darkspawn. Fighting in the Deep Roads wasn’t much to Bhelen’s liking and went off to live like a pampered prince in the Diamond Quarter. I, meanwhile, see no better life than among those who fight and shed bled with each other.

Probably the first sign I had that everything would change for me occurred on the day I was ordered back by my Father to the city to honor my work in the Deep Roads. It started harmless enough, in my room at the palace, as Gorim assisted me in dressing up for the feast. I donned the antique armor of my grandfather which was more showy than practical. The burnished metal was too bright, the metal too thin and the shape too bulky. Looking at my reflection, I could see I was uncomfortable in it. My body was accustomed to my regular armor, which I think was molded from spending too much time fighting it grew callused to make them fit. While not-ill fitting, the ceremonial armor I was wearing was sending danger signals in my mind which I could not shake as Gorim laughing softly behind me, in the same spirit as if he just caught me wearing my grandmother’s gowns.

“Not to your taste, my lord?” he asked, dressed decently in armor that was as not as pretentious as the one I was wearing. His grin made even his wide face wider and his whole face was effusive as the light from the torch was caught in his simply styled, but neat, copper hair.

I looked away from my reflection to his smiling face as he held a matching antique sword in his hand. Then I looked down on myself. “This belongs in the Shaperate,” I said, as I readjust the straps of the gauntlet again.

“Hardly, my lord. If you’re concerned about it breaking apart due to age, then worry not. It was crafted by excellent smiths whose skill is still unsurpassed by anyone alive. It would certainly withstand some bit of walking.”

I groaned. “Not that. It just feels…wrong. This,” I pointed in the mirror at the shoulder guard, which was comically large enough to use as a shield, “isn’t something I’d think to be good to wear. How am I supposed to move in this thing?”

“That was the point. It’s meant to catch attention as fast as possible,” Gorim said, stepping closer to my side. “Its size was supposed to show the breadth of your strength and power and make everyone looking at you fall in awe. Which is perfect for the feast your father threw for you. We can’t have our celebrant looking unremarkable now can’t we?”

I shook my head at their silliness. My regular armors were perfectly fine.

“Now, do you wish to wear your shield to the feast?”

“Yes. Let me see them as the warrior I am and not some dressed-up spoiled prince,” I said as I gestured at my reflection. The shield on my back might calm me enough not to notice what I was wearing in time for the party. A shield saved me plenty of times in the Deep Roads when I sometimes lose my grip on my sword, and nothing was more comforting by the feel of it on my back.

“That would surely tell the nobles that you are a warrior if they hadn’t known already,” Gorim snarked. I shrugged that off. Gorim was more jesting of his lord than other seconds but I don’t mind it. No one was more faithful and more trustworthy than he.

Gorim stopped grinning at last and his tone was serious when he spoke again. “Moving on to the business at hand, the king expects you to make an appearance at the feast, but there’s no rush. The noble family heads will spend hours boring your father with petitions and petty grievances.”

“And you’re suggesting we do something else?”

“Well, as part of the celebrations, permits have been auctioned off to members of the Merchant Caste who wished to sell wares in the Diamond Quarter. Lord Harrowmont has also opened up the Provings for young warriors to test their mettle before the upcoming battle.”

I considered it. Though I would have liked to watch the Provings, it just served in the past for lesser nobles to push their petitions by chatting with me, hoping I’d pass it to my father’s ears. Though I discouraged them at every turn, still they persist so I never enjoyed watching at all.

“The Proving sounds appealing but I’d rather not meet other nobles until it’s time. Let’s go have a look at the Diamond Quarter.”

Gorim bowed. “As you wish, my lord. The day is ours until the feast.”

I cast one look at my room. It was sparsely furnished and decorated, for I rarely use it but today, it was filled with gifts from my friends, other noble houses, commoners whose names I do not know and even from my men who I left in the Deep Roads. Even though they could not leave their post as I did, they still managed to send gifts to me. We sneaked out the palace, bypassing the hall where my father was entertaining his subjects and emerged onto the Diamond Quarter. I huff with satisfaction as I saw the city laid out, sparkling like a well cut jewel. The Diamond Quarter was laid out with two wings on each side and the proving ground jutting out in the middle while the lava flowing below lit bathed everything in warm light. Our ancestors have hewn the rock of this cavern to make our home; in sharp lines, hard walls, and strong pillars.

Every day, the city grows in beauty and I cannot be prouder.

“Shall we take a look at the stalls, my lord?” Gorim gently prompted me.

I smiled at him to excuse my lapse. “Of course.”

We walked down the steps towards the ground at the left of the palace, which was filled with stalls selling all kinds of dwarven crafts in honor of the Proving today. As soon as I appeared, everyone acknowledged my presence through the gradual lessening of their talk.

The previously spacious ground was now filled to bursting with stalls selling every kind of merchandise from the city and the surface. A shop selling dwarven weapons and armor was placed next to one selling human-made trinkets. Behind a rack of smithing tools was a cabinet filled with surfacer curiosities.  And tables with sumptuous food from the surface. Bottles of wine and beer known to people.

We dwarves mostly produce what we need, but we could never beat the surfacers in terms of food and cloth. They have simply far more variety up there and I briefly wondered how they could have it. From what Duncan told me, the surface was wide open, with no ceiling, and seemed to stretch from side to side, seemingly without end, so they had more crops than I could count with my fingers. Though Duncan never lied to me, I always thought what he said about the surface as ridiculous. An infinite space like that; however did it not manage to break up and fall apart?

Currently, I was looking at a display of surfacer cloths with the owner standing attentively at my side. I have little use for it as I’m rarely out of armor, save for leather and cotton, but the stall owner has many interesting types displayed today.

 “A bolt for your lady, my lord?” he inquired. “We have all manner of cloths she will surely love: wool and velvet from Ferelden, silk from Orlais, cotton, and linen from the Free marches. If you would like something more special, we have embroidered bolts at the back in silver and gold thread. We also have ones appliqued with gems. Just let me get to it.”

I smiled at his insinuation of a mistress. Before I could speak, Gorim spoke. “You are too familiar, merchant,” he scolded the shopkeeper. “This is your prince who you’re talking to and you ought to pay him more respect.”

“It’s alright, Gorim,” I said as the merchant began to cower and mutter his apologies. I smiled wider to reassure him. “No harm done.”

The merchant started to stammer. “Apologies my lord. I wanted to please you so badly that I-”

“It’s alright. I took no offense.”

He nearly fell to his knees. “Oh, thank you, my lord.”

I drew back my hand at the silk bolt I was looking at. “Let me assure you; Your attention to me has pleased me enough that, if I were to be fortunate enough to have a wife, I surely would look for you to recommend to me an appropriate gift for her.”

He stammered effusively his thanks and with a nod, I and Gorim went to the next stall, which was selling something to my taste

“Greetings, my lord Aeducan,” the weapon seller called to me as we stepped in front of his goods. “I am so honored to have you visit my booths.” He stopped and looked as if he was about to say something. When I turned to look at his wares, he spoke, lowering his voice. “If you would excuse me, I have a…preposition but I dare not approach any further.”

I stared at his face in surprise. Gorim stepped closer and looked at the merchant likewise but with narrowed eyes. “Yet you dare now?”

“It’s alright,” I said to Gorim. “I’ll hear him out.”

Gorim nodded at me and turned back to the merchant. “Very well then. Speak.”

The merchant made himself smaller as he glanced around us. “Sorry. So nervous. I have a dagger made. For…you. As a gift for your first command. I, uh, sent a messenger to deliver the dagger to you but Prince Trian threw him out. I don’t know what offense he caused, but I had him beaten severely.”

Gorim and I glanced at each other. We both saw we had no idea why Trian would stop people from giving gifts to me. It was none of his business.

“I’m sure Trian has his reasons,” I said carefully.

He nodded, seemingly to accept my explanation. “Would you like to look at the dagger?”

“Of course.”

He smiled with extreme elation. “Oh, thank you, my lord. A thousand thanks to you. Here…” he bent down to retrieve a box on a drawer. He opened it, showing it to us. Inside nestled an extremely beautiful dagger on dark purple velvet. It was triangular-shaped, with the grip covered in druffalo leather. The guard was embossed with intricate designs and the blade shone dark like obsidian, I knew the blade was silverite just extremely polished to look like the glass. It was not merely decorative a fragile beauty belying its deadliness. 

I was silent in admiration. From what I can see, I have no complaints about its craftmanship.

“That’s an amazing piece merchant,” Gorim said, not quite keeping his awe out of his voice.

“You do me much honor ser,” the merchant replied, abashed. “The blade has been crafted over a period of two years by masters of every art. I wish to bless my lord’s first command and hope that someday, when he rules, he will wear it.”

I and Gorim went still as we both understood that the merchant was proposing treason. Dangerous words to speak aloud in the middle of the public market. If his messenger was just as careless as he, then Trian throwing him out was no mystery. 

“Trian is heir,” I reminded him gently, hoping that only his enthusiasm had led him to speak treason. “He will rule when my father your king returns to the Stone.”

“If the Assembly wills it,” he said, looking upward in the sign of our Ancestors. “Forgive me ser but whispers say that the second child of King Endrin will be chosen.”

“The whispers are wrong,” I said more strongly to impress in him his danger. “What they propose is treason and you would do well not to speak that aloud.”

The merchant paled.

“I was born a prince and I shall die a prince,” I added. “I have no wish to take the throne as long as Trian is alive to claim it. Pass it on to those who whispered to you and never speak of this again, for your own safety and those around you.”

The merchant bowed low. “Of course. Thank you my lord for warning me. But,” he looked with pain at the dagger in his hands, “what shall I do with this?”

The wise thing to do was to throw it in the lava but as I saw the way he looked at it as if it was his child, I reconsidered. We dwarves don’t treat our craftmanship lightly.

“I’ll take the dagger. I’ll wear it with pride when Trian ascends the throne.”

The merchant looked at me as if I’d just saved his family. I glanced at Gorim and he immediately held out his hands to take it from his hands. The merchant handed it over with reverent care, taking one final look at it, then turned to me, with tears in his eyes. “Thank you. You bring uncountable honor to me.”

I nodded my goodbye and we walked away from the stall. As soon as we’re out of earshot of the merchant, Gorim remarked. “What he meant is this will bring you uncountable gold to him if you wear that piece in public.”

I smiled at his cynicism. “Gorim, be kind to the poor man. He nearly lost his life today.”

“All for a bit of gold,” he answered and shook the package in his arms lightly. “Whispers, indeed. This is a princely gift. If Trian recognizes it, though, it may send the wrong message.” He then gave me a sideways look and added in a low voice, “Or the right one, depending on your view.”

I stopped walking to stare at him in shock. “Gorim, are you sincerely proposing…”

Gorim glanced around us and made his voice low, which, from the chatter of the people around us, would make his words intelligible to anyone but me. “My lord, you should know, though your humility prevents you so, that most people would want you to take your Father’s place instead of Prince Trian.”

I stared at him for a long while and I didn’t know I was holding my breath until it was forced out of me in coughing disbelief. “This is just a steaming pile of brontoshit.”

“I am not jesting, my lord. The army loves you, and the people too in the same way that they do. And the nobles would rather deal with you than with Prince Trian with his volatile temper.”

“Spawn’s balls, Gorim! I am not gonna take my brother’s birthright. My brother, who I love.”

Gorim clamped his lips tight as I looked at him with disbelief that he would dare say something extremely painful to me. “What kind of man do you think I am to think that I would do that?” I asked softly.

Gorim kept silent, looking at the ground in shame.

“Let’s speak no more of it,” I said with finality and we went to other stalls in silence.

While we peruse the next stall in a somber mood than the one we started in, we did not expect to run so early onto the one we were arguing about.

“Atrast vala, big brother. How surprising to run into you out among the common folk,” said a chirping voice to my left.

I turned around and found my younger brother, Bhelen. Despite his greeting, his pale face looked harried and the light blue eyes had no luster. It always was the case when he was with our elder brother, Trian, who was standing next to him, looking like his overgrown version. In contrast, Trian narrowed his eyes when he saw me and gave a deep huff, sending the braids in his light-colored beard to flutter. His face was set in hard lines of disapproval.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Gorim whipped the gift swiftly but deftly at his side, away from the view of my brothers, instead of holding it in front. I glanced at Bhelen quickly, who looked slightly guilty when he met my gaze then back to Trian. I knew immediately Bhelen used me as a distraction to our elder brother. Because Trian looked like he’s about to chew someone out.

“Especially since duty requires you to attend our father the king. Have you little respect for him to disregard his wishes on a day set for you?” he asked sharply at me.

Knew it. Before I can say anything, Gorim spoke up. “Lord Harrowmont assured me we wouldn’t be needed for hours at least-”

“Silence! If I want the opinion of my sibling’s second, I will ask for it,” Trian barked, cutting him off.

Gorim mumbled “Yes Your highness” and stepped back.

My brows drew together in reproof at Trian and I said, “Don’t speak to him like that.”

Trian raised his in surprise at my words then drew together in irritation. “I’ll speak to the lower houses and castes as they should be spoken to,” he said snittily.  

Stone, I love my brother but he makes it hard to be loyal.

“Now do as I say,” he added.

I gritted my teeth. “I will go at my leisure,” I said in a measured tone.

Trian stared at me with a shocked face for one moment, as if I’d sprouted another head, then he went red with rage. He stepped closer to me until we were face to face. “If I am king, you will never be allowed to act like that to me again,” he growled, keeping his eyes on me to make me cower. But I stared back hard without flinching, even as a crowd formed around us. Nothing Trian can do to me will scare me after what I’ve endured in the Deep Roads.

“Come, Bhelen,” he said finally, snapping his fingers. Bhelen looked at me, sheepishly, then followed like a dog to our brother’s retreating back. The crowd around us parted out of the way for them, then looked back at me uncertainly.

“It’s just a quarrel with brothers,” Gorim said to them, smiling. “Everyone back to business.” As we watch the crowd disperse reluctantly, Gorim turned to me and said “That was fun. Nothing like being talked down by the next king.”

“He had better not be like that when he is king. The nobles won’t stand a tyrant,” I said, looking on until the heads of my brothers were lost among the crowd.

“Oh? What has your brother done now?”

I turned at the speaker and was pleased with what I’ve found. Finally, a person I like to talk to. “Nerav. Stone met,” I greeted and bowed to a woman dressed fashionably in silk and sable.

Lady Nerav, daughter of Lord Helmi. Also my betrothed.

I’ve seen her many times dressed in a smith’s apron with soot on her face and looked mostly at home with that, but she had no problem being decked out in her best for an occasion.

I gave a look at Gorim to give us some privacy and he retreated to a respectful distance. Then I gestured at her if she would take a stroll with me. She accepted with a smile on her full cheeks and we headed leisurely away from the stalls. Immediately, she asked me about Trian.

I sighed. “He has been throwing his weight again. Reminding each and every noble that he is the firstborn Aeducan, as if they didn’t know already,” I said.

She nodded sagely. “As he should, since the election is coming up. He must be anxious.”

“Yes, skittish as a nug in a dwarven kitchen. I just wish he doesn’t shat on us all while he’s at it.”

She laughed. “Oh Thorin, you were always my favorite.”

“Oh? I had competition?” I teased.

“Plenty. But before you, there’s just no comparison.”

“Good to know. Embarrassing, otherwise. Not looking forward to talking to your father why you chose me and not the others.”

“Oh, don’t worry about my father. I think he loves you more than I do.”

“Hmm. I like my chances. At least I wouldn’t expect him on our wedding day threatening to disembowel me if I did anything funny to you.”

“If you did anything funny to me, I think he’d still adore you.”

I chuckled. This was why I was going to marry her. She had a sensible head on her shoulders and share the same humor as I. We had been friends since childhood and when his father dropped hints that it was time for him to marry, I never hesitated to ask her.

We arrived near the railing overlooking the flowing lava. She leaned on it, the warm light shining on her face and on her dark hair like a halo, and I thought she grew up very beautifully. She is the only woman I’ve spent more time with and I wondered why marrying her never entered my head until she told me one day that I had the right of first refusal for her hand. For many years, she said.

“About the wedding, I want to talk to you about something and you’re not going to like it,” I said.

She turned to me still with that charming, teasing look on her face. “Oh? Is this the part where we tell each other’s dirty secrets? Like you always leave your clothes on the floor so I should expect to pick it up after you forever?”

“Save it when we’re married. This is more pressing.”

She stopped her teasing and waited.

I took a breath before announcing it. “We’re going to postpone the wedding.”

“What?” she yelled, as I expected. I wasn’t aware of the preparations for our wedding but I knew enough that she had worked long on it.

“At least until Trian is crowned. I didn’t like the look I got from him when I announced our engagement.” He looked like he was about to kill me then my bethroted. My brother wasn’t a particular favorite with the nobles, and seeing me, his younger brother, being the toast of Orzammar in alliance with one of the strongest noble houses, must have turned his mood sour.

When we were children, we were thick as thieves and Trian wasn’t this volatile back then. Now that we’re grown, he looked at everyone with suspicion and acted as if everyone was in conspiracy against him all the time. Even his family. And I had no idea why we’ve come to this.

“So we’re not getting married because your brother looked you wrong?” Nerav mocked, drawing her arms across her chest as she pouted.

“Don’t be like that,” I said to her. “We’re still getting married, just later. I don’t want to get married while Trian is in a foul mood. He might crash the cake.”

“Poor cake. I think I should tell the baker to make it from granite.”

“Yeah, tell him to come to me. I think I could find plenty of that in the Deep Roads.”

We shared a laugh, as we always do.

Nerav seemed to be pacified enough about her work being postponed and spoke with the same cheer as before she knew about it. “So, I have work to do, telling everyone the wedding is delayed. And what would the handsome groom do?”

“I’m going back to the Deep Roads, at least, until the election is over. I find I like hearing more of my men’s snoring than Trian’s tirades.”

“So I’m going to play the part of the pining lover?”

“Yes, you do that marvelously, the way you polish your ax.”

She laughed for a while then grew serious. She looked at me with slyness in her eyes. “Don’t you think he has other reasons for being …testy?”

“Like what?”

“Like there having a stronger contender for the throne?”

“There’s no one else who has a stronger claim than he has. Lord Harromont may try, but he’s too loyal to my father. The other noble houses may, but they don’t come close to my family in terms of prestige and honor.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be from another house. Maybe it comes from someone who had the esteem of both the noble and warrior caste by his fearless campaigns against the darkspawn.”

I sighed, a deep rumble. “Ancestors, not you too.”

She cocked her head quizzically. “Not me too?”

I glanced at Gorim. She followed it and turned back to me, understanding on her face.

I rubbed at my temple. “What idiot pushed my name forward?”

“It’s been talked about by everyone. If you were just born first, the deshyrs would accept you as king without a murmur.”

“Well, I’m not the firstborn. Trian is. And I would never go for the throne. Not while Trian lives.”

She nodded, looking down, hiding her face from me, and pressing her lips together. I could sense she thought I was just being stubborn and so annoyed at me.

“Besides, I’m not that fond of sitting on my ass all day listening to nobles argue about who owed money to whom,” I added, turning the conversation light as before.

“Well said,” she said flatly as she raised her head and turned away to continue looking around the city.

I gave a sidelong glance at her. “And don’t you want to be Queen?”

She smiled at me. “Well no, I’m not that fond of being Queen, nudging my husband the King awake while the nobles argue about who owed money to whom.”

I laughed. “So there it is; my dirty little secret. You’re going to marry an unambitious man. There’s still time to get out of the wedding if you have second thoughts,” I teased.

“The second thoughts that I have is the color of my wedding dress but the rest of it,” she leaned close and kissed my cheek, “I have no doubts.”

[nadziejastar]

—In KH BbS, Master Xehanort's goal behind opening Kingdom Hearts was to "create a new world." But in this game, he says it is to "reset the world." Why the difference?

Nomura: What was revealed in this game was another piece of the truth: his goal was "this world is no longer any good, and we have to recreate it from scratch."

—We are interested in why Xehanort would come to such a conclusion.

Nomura: At first, I did want to use a next game to dig down into how Xehanort went from that simple boy playing the chess-like game to an admirer of the darkness. But, if I do that, then the Dark Seeker Chronicle wouldn't have ended with KH3 after all (laughs.) Some ideas had solidified to a degree, but it's shelved for now.

Definitely. He was handled horribly. Even the interviewer didn’t know why Xehanort acted the way he did. You know your story is messed up when the main villain’s motivations are a big question mark at the end, lol. He desperately needed a fleshed out backstory, just like Lea, Isa, and so many other characters. 

The basic concept of Xehanort seemed to be summed up by the above quote. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Nomura actually had that famous quote in mind while writing Xehanort’s character. It IS about darkness, after all. I feel kinda bad that Nomura gets bashed for how Xehanort was handled when that clearly was not his intention. People think he planned it that way. “Lol, silly Nomura”. But he said he wanted to explore Xehanort’s past.

— About the World of Darkness and such, you haven’t gone into detail. Could you possibly talk about some of these things? Does the beach at the beginning and end of KH II have some connection to the World of Darkness?

Presently there are 4 main untold stories to consider: “the period of the King’s absence”, “the period of Riku’s absence”, “Roxas’s time in Organization XIII” and “Xehanort’s past”. In this case, the story of “the period of the King’s absence” is set in the realm of darkness. I am examining a way to tell these 4 stories so I might be able to find a way to tell them soon. —Another Report KH2FM+

In fact, he had plans for this ever since KH2FM+. Now, he could have changed Xehanort’s final scenes to be more consistent with what the players actually saw: a relatively one-dimensional evil megalomaniac. But he chose to leave it the way it was---Xehanort was trying to bring about a world of light---because he considered it the “truth”, even if it made no sense to us players. He did that with the other Xehanorts, too. 

To me, that speaks to his level of frustration over how the story was handled. I believe if Nomura had his way, he would have explored ALL the stuff from 0.5 in the next game, after KH3. But he wasn’t allowed to do that because the Dark Seeker Saga needed to be over with KH3. It was out of his hands. I’m glad he left it the way it was because it makes it easier to see his intentions for the story.

 — Mr. Nomura, since you are the one that is writing the scenario this time, how is the progress coming along?

Since we are arriving near the conclusion of Xehanort in KINGDOM HEARTS III, the outline of the story has been solidified but not necessarily the direction where the KINGDOM HEARTS series is continuing to head. We are still trying to decide where to go from several choices.

— What is that specifically?

In the KINGDOM HEARTS series, I don’t think there has been an actual happy ending. KINGDOM HEARTS II is close to it. Since most of the titles have ended in cliffhangers, we’re worried about what we should include in KINGDOM HEARTS III. —Dengeki Playstation June 2015

When I would try to talk about some of this stuff on other forums people would get so defensive. Who was I to question Nomura’s vision, blah blah blah. But there’s so much evidence that KH3 did NOT actually follow Nomura’s vision. That is my biggest complaint. KH3 is a botched game with a troubled development history, that suffered from extensive executive meddling. Even as late as summer 2015, two years after the game was announced, they were unsure of the direction the series was headed. But Nomura wanted a true happy ending for the first time, without cliffhangers... 

Can you tell us about the meaning of 0.2’s title, “Fragmentary Passage? As far as content goes, we can’t include a full volume of content to play with like the second chapter of KHBbS, so it’s just a “fragment,” and we left that part of the subtitle. 0.5 is one of the letters and numbers that appeared in the secret episode of KHBbS FM, and that meant full volume, so we decided on 0.2 this time, to indicate that there will be more content to come. However, the remaining passage will be told in KHIII, so we wanted to show that this production is closely related to KHIII. —Dengeki Playstation September 2015

And as late as September 2015, only a couple of months after saying that, Nomura said there were actual PLANS to incorporate the lost story of 0.5 into KH3, albeit in a condensed manner. Of course, we all know that didn’t happen. It appears there was a very last minute change of plans to just throw out all the unused concepts from 0.5 and rewrite the story to eliminate all connection to them. 

That’s why the plot was switched to instead focus on sequel-baiting and Union X characters. Those things are mostly irrelevant to the Xehanort Saga, so it didn’t matter if KH0.5 was cancelled. But that wasn’t the original plan. This is why it is my sincere belief that Nomura was very upset with how the story of KH3 turned out. And I don’t blame him one bit.

“I actually don’t sympathize or empathize with Sora at all,” Nomura says. Instead, he relates to the game’s mysterious villains, Xehanort or likely Ansem, anyone who’s fallen prey to their dark natures. “I think I’m closer to those characters, so Sora is like my enemy,” he says.

I think Xehanort’s backstory was going to paint him in a very different light, otherwise he never would have gotten such a warm ending scene with Eraqus. Nomura said that he could relate more to a character like Xehanort than Sora, so I am led to believe he was going to be a character with many shades of gray. KH3 Sora was obnoxiously black-and-white, which is why I think Nomura disliked him so much. I also don’t think that was Nomura’s original vision.

Xehanort: So...you know the “Lost Masters”?

Eraqus: Who?

Xehanort: They’re the ones who started the Keyblade War.

Eraqus: Never heard of ‘em. Where’d you hear about that?

Xehanort: Or...they’re the ones for whom the war started.

Eraqus: I’m not following you.

Xehanort: You can drop the facade.

My opinion is that when Xehanort was young, he got involved with a secret society with access to knowledge that was kept from the general population. Stuff involving the Keyblade War, the Book of Prophecies, etc. Scala ad Caelum is very Freemason-y. The name Stairway to Heaven is a concept in Masonry. This was supposed to be an actual explorable world. There was a trailer shown off at a private event, that was never made public. But it actually showed Sora visiting this town. Of course, after the "alterations” made to KH3′s story, this town was eliminated and the trailer was never mentioned again. This town was tied to the Recusant’s Sigil and all the missing lore KH0.5 would have delved into, so I guess it wasn’t needed anymore.

Ansem: Take a look at this tiny place. To the heart seeking freedom this is a prison surrounded by water. And so this boy sought out to escape from his prison. He sought a way to cross over into other worlds. And he opened his heart to darkness.

Sora: Riku!

Ansem: Don’t bother. Your voice can no longer reach him where he is. His heart belongs again to darkness. All worlds begin in darkness, and all so end. The heart is no different.

After learning the hidden knowledge, he felt like he had to start the world anew. He became obsessed with darkness. We never even learned how Xehanort left Destiny Islands. My guess is that he had such a strong will and desire to leave the islands, he opened a dark corridor. He didn’t have anything to protect him. He just went into it and arrived at another world. 

Our Master instructed us to don armor while traveling between worlds, so that we might shield ourselves from the darkness. But there, in the Lanes Between, I could feel the force of it—the power—and from then on, I forwent my armor's "protection." I had been told the darkness would devour me, but what terrors could it possibly hold, so long as I found the strength to control it?

The experience seems to have given him the confidence that he didn’t need protection from darkness. 

At present, the lanes and corridors that run between the worlds may only be traversed by us Keyblade wielders, and those who have given themselves over to darkness. As the former, our duty is to cross the chasms between worlds and guard against the latter, whose darkness corrupts and contaminates, so that no world need ever be lost again. Few Keyblade wielders remain now; I have heard of but a handful of others outside my circle. But the World is vast, and more of our kind may be out there. Now, in addition to the realm of light in which we reside, there is also a realm of darkness, and the realm between which connects the two. The realm of darkness is most forbidden; I am told none who set foot there have ever returned.

He didn’t seem particularly evil as a kid or anything. Just very intelligent and cynical about the world. But he seemed charming and likable. Eraqus obviously had a great deal of affection for him, which blinded him from seeing his true motives until it was too late.

That’s where the whole story began…as did the glitches. And for good reason—because nothing ever happens by chance in our stories. Everything is connected. This is where someone else set off on a journey, too, long ago. Does this world feel small to you, Sora? Or does it feel large? Who will be the one to unravel the secrets of this world—of the Destiny Islands?

I’m sure he was possessed. We never even learned how Xehanort got golden eyes and pointy ears. Maybe Xehanort was simply the first vessel.

THE MAN’S BLACK CLOAK FLUTTERED BEHIND HIM as he marched forward.

The present, the past, the future.

Human, Heartless, Nobody.

Xehanort, Ansem, Xemnas.

His plans had already advanced past the point of no return.

With Demyx’s demise, the group calling itself Organization XIII had lost more than half of its members.

Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Marluxia, Larxene, Demyx. And Roxas.

All the fallen ones—do they bear a grudge against me?

But they were Nobodies. They had no hearts with which to hold any ill will. They couldn’t even understand what the heart is.

Nomura said there was something like a beacon inside Xehanort, guiding him where to go and what to do, even if he wasn’t quite sure of it himself.

Somewhere in this cyclical history of bequeathings, a chosen one will appear and reenact the Keyblade War. When this scapegoat arrives and takes my Keyblade in hand, this will be the time to take the stage and finish my role. The Lost Masters will awaken.—Unknown

I don’t know if the Lost Masters were always meant to return. But I definitely think Xehanort was always meant to be just a pawn in somebody else’s game.

“Students do take after their teachers. Any apprentice of yours would be a fool,” Xemnas sneered, then raised his eyes to the light of Kingdom Hearts. “After all, none of this would have happened without you. It was you who brought the Heartless into being. Your research inspired me to go further than you ever dared.”

You saved me when I wandered without memories—or rather, saved Xehanort, Xemnas added to himself. 

If you hadn’t found me that day and helped me… If you hadn’t been studying the mysteries of the heart… Things would never have come to this.

Does that mean it was all inevitable? Or is someone’s will at work? A will greater than ours…?

This was the plan for a long time, because even the novels allude to it. It annoys me when people try to say the novels can’t be taken seriously. They wrote about Xemnas’s regret over his fallen comrades YEARS in advance. They were obviously written with knowledge of the whole story in mind.

It almost sounded like Xemnas was angry with Ansem for being the catalyst that started him on his path. He said he was past the point of no return, as if he was only continuing on with his plan because he couldn’t turn back even if he wanted to.

“I admit, my recklessness brought chaos to more worlds than one. But what is it you were seeking?” Ansem demanded. He was asking the shell of his former apprentice, though he might ask the same question of himself. “You erased me from this world only to take my name and continue research better left forgotten… And is this the answer you’ve been after?”

“Indeed. I am carrying on what you began, creating a new world brick by brick—heart by heart.”

But even as Xemnas said it, he wondered. Really? Is it really what I sought?

The inexorable pull of Kingdom Hearts, so strong that even he no longer understood what he’d first been seeking, and the longing for the heart he had lost… But what was a heart?

What I lost when I became a Nobody…I don’t even know what it is.

He didn’t even know what it was he was after. 

He concentrated his frustration back on Ansem. “Once I thought I’d earn your praise. But all you’ve ever done is hold me back. I understand—unlike me, you have a heart. And you are powerless to control it. Consumed by your jealousy of the student who surpassed his teacher.”

Ansem sadly shook his head.

That young scientist who had once shown so much promise in the town of Radiant Garden—where had he gone? Was this what it meant to lose one’s heart? Or…had he never had one to begin with?

It’s...sad.

“Hey, do you fellas think that maybe the journal is trying to tell us something?” Goofy wondered. What exactly was going on with this little book?

Whatever Xehanort was being used by, it was heavily connected to the Demon Tide.

“The world is aching?” What exactly did “the world” refer to? Maybe it meant the world they were seeing on the monitor now was in pain. “Not just ‘the’ world. ‘Our’ world…” Jiminy seemed to have the same questions.

We never actually learned what was meant by the world’s aching. Who’s world?

“…Can’t you hear the world’s screams?”

“Screams?”

Axel finally turned around, and looked up at Saïx standing on a stairway.

“The time when we should move will come soon.”

“I dunno, whatever.” Axel turned his back on Saïx, and opened a dark portal in front of him.

Saïx could actually hear the world’s screams, probably because Isa was one of those people who needed their hurting mended. I’ll bet that Xehanort was one of those people as well. 

Ansem the Wise: That light of the heart that everyone had when they were a child - simple, honest thoughts - that is the strength of a pure heart, in which Sora believes and cannot doubt. If someone feels a heart there, a heart exists. Even if a heart is lost, maybe it can once again be connected. Up to this point, he has felt, accepted, and saved many hearts. And now the many hearts that sleep within Sora’s heart have fallen into darkness, been stolen by darkness, sleep in darkness. The hearts dissolved in Sora – to save them, you must act as Sora has up until now, move forward as a heart in order to succeed. His thoughts are the only way. Or to be precise, what is within them. 

If I had to guess how I think Xehanort’s plot would have been handled that was consistent with the Dark Seeker Saga’s themes, it would be this: After Xehanort was defeated, his heart was lost in the darkness. Maybe he couldn’t handle the pain of his defeat. Or maybe it was because he was possessed all along.

Ansem: You see, darkness is the heart’s true essence.

Sora: That’s not true! The heart may be weak. And sometimes it may even give in. But I’ve learned that deep down, there’s a light that never goes out!

Sora, a person who possesses an extraordinary degree of love for other people, actually decided to use the power of waking on him rather than just snatch the X-Blade from him and call it a day. He genuinely wanted to save him. Sora was able to believe that deep down, there was a light that never went out, even in someone as immersed in darkness as Xehanort. 

Those simple and honest thoughts enabled Sora to connect with Xehanort’s heart, reminding him of what it felt like to love and be loved, like when he was a child. He was able to reunite with his beloved friend Eraqus, and decided to give Sora the X-Blade of his own free will. Not because of Sora’s amazing ability at persuasion. But because Sora showed him love. That is what made Ansem choose Sora in the first place.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 4x04 A Lie Guarded

This episode has some interesting moments, mostly those where characters have morality debates and try to be a moral compass and make the other question the approach they’ve chosen: Kane to Octavia – for getting too prone to violence and murder; Monty (and kind of Jasper) to Clarke – for maybe going too far in trying to act according to the Big Picture and Head over Heart principle and becoming more like the Ark leadership that they all used to hate; in order to save people;  Raven and Nyko to Luna – for again almost opting to stay away and not help save people.

It also kills of one of my favorite minor characters, has a minor fake-out death of a secondary character, and a big fake-out death of a main character, and escalates hostilities between two groups of people again.

It’s one of the weaker episodes of the season, because it has a few things that really don’t make sense, including two instances of character behavior that is clearly plot-driven, and one instance of extreme Plot Armor.

According to a tweet from one of the staff (thanks, The 100 wiki), the title comes from the quote “An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded." It doesn’t say who it comes from, though Google says it’s by Alexander Pope. This clearly refers to the lie that Clarke told previously when she told people in Arkadia that everyone will be saved, and didn’t tell them that only 100 people would probably be (unless they manage to find the Nightblood solution to save everyone), and the fact that her attempts to explain things only made people more upset.

But it’s also a spoilery pun (this never even occurred to me until I saw someone on YouTube point it out) - “ALIE guarded”, because the group that’s on the mission to find Becca’s lab (Abby, Raven, Jackson, Luna, Nyko, Miller, one redshirt guy, and for some reason Murphy and Emori) runs into ALIE’s drones that start shooting at them and kill two people.

Luna is the character that I have changed my opinion the most on rewatch. I used to really like her, because her rejection of violence and rebellion against the Grounder warlike way of life, so I was really shocked when she had what seemed to be a sudden complete 180 turn similar to the one that often happens with characters on The Walking Dead – from being against killing to “DIE DIE Kill everyone!” But now I see that this turn was foreshadowed from the start, and that she had already shown the tendency to be judgmental of humans in general in a way that’s nihilistic and misanthropic. Here, for instance, she says: “What if the fight is all we are? We torture, kill, betray. We pretend we're more than that just to make ourselves feel better, but it's a lie.” Jasper wrote something similar in his letter, but he didn’t decide to kill everyone. She also asks Raven if she thinks she/they deserve to survive. This is something different from the way Kane or Abby talked about “deserving to survive” – they said that as an incentive for people to be better, while Luna is saying people maybe should not be saved. It’s not the first time she decided to stay away and not get involved to save people, which is her right, but also doesn’t make her such a great person. I know she has been very traumatized and lost everyone she loved. But if your reasoning is: I won’t make an effort to save people, because they’re not good enough to deserve saving, there is something seriously wrong with you.

Nyko tries to talk to her and convince her to give blood so they could try to synthesize Nightblood, saying “those are good people”, and she asks him what they would do if she refuses to do it to save them. Nyko points out she would be doing it to “save us all”. But then the drones attack, and he gets killed saving her, making himself a shield for the bullets – no doubt that was not just to save another person, but because she is the key to saving everyone. Luna still doesn’t want to donate blood, so Raven – who herself has been prone occasionally to self-righteousness of that kind – tells her that no one will forcibly take the blood from her, but begs her to give it on her own will to help: “It’s not your blood that defines you, it’s your heart” – and she finally gets through to her. For now.

Raven still doesn’t trust Murphy and thinks he’s an opportunistic jerk, but she changes her mind a little after Murphy saves her from the drones.

There’s some setup for the plotline with Emori in the upcoming episodes – as we find out she is afraid of something and not too happy to go to Becca’s lab. We also find out that “Frikdreina” is what Grounders call those with genetic mutations/deformities.

In Arkadia, things start in a light-hearted way, Jasper’s prank on Jaha – he managed to get him asleep, probably with some of the stuff he and Monty liked, and put him a raft in the middle of the lake, where Jaha woke up to Jasper laughing and telling “Chancellor, you’ve been floated”. This is a way for the Delinquents to channel their resentment of their former Chancellor, who executed so many people and sent them to probably die as expendable people, in a harmless joke.

There’s also a friendly scene between Clarke and Monty, where Clarke is concerned about Bellamy not being back, and Monty telling her not to worry. But things deteriorate when Jasper and Monty, setting up a silly prank on Clarke, end up finding the List. Jasper is angry and compares Clarke to the former Ark leadership, calling her “Jaha-lite”. When he tries to tell everyone through the radio, Clarke has him electrocuted and arrested. Monty is more understanding, even though Jasper told him that he (Monty) was not on the list, and he’s also not happy that Harper is not – he realizes why she had to leave him off, but he thinks she is indeed becoming like the hated former Ark leadership – lying to people, keeping secrets, arresting her friends. Clarke admits that Jaha used to be everyone she hated, but that she’s now starting to understand him to a point.  It’s a very morally complicated situation, because they are right, but at the same time, that list had to be made, someone had to make it, and Raven gave Clarke that responsibility – and now Clarke is getting the blame for it. And she – or anyone who made that list – was going to get blamed no matter what: they were going to leave people out of it; if they left out their friends, that is cold hearted and their friends would resent them, if they put their friends on it, it would make them look biased and get everyone else to resent them. Clarke’s choices are completely understandable, but also unhealthy for her - she is taking on all on herself and losing her morality and emotional health to ensure people’s survival,  but she has to stop before going too far.

Monty ends up reading the list to everyone and causing a lot of anger in the crowd. People start questioning her about everything, from why she left this or that person out (Harper, for instance, because of a genetic disorder her father died of, Monty because they already had other engineers), from supposedly  “putting herself on the list”, and one guy is like “Bellamy Blake? Really?” He obviously is someone from the Ark who has no idea what Bellamy meant to the Delinquents, or how instrumental he was in defeating the Mountain Men and saving the people form Mount Weather, but I guess he is not related to one of the Delinquents so he doesn’t care. He probably thinks that Clarke being important is acceptable because she’s the former Chancellor/Council member’s daughter, but Bellamy was just a janitor, right? But then  Jaha intercepts and shows one of his main talents – doing talking to the crowd. He explains that Clarke and Bellamy are important because good leadership is necessary, and promises everyone that they would get rid of the list and instead hold a lottery to determine who survives. Jaha has both proved himself useful and saved the moment, and somehow made himself the decision-maker again. When Clarke later tells him that lottery is risky as they may end up without doctors etc., he points out that this was necessary to motivate people (note that he never says they would honor his promise), because people, understandably, hate hearing that they’re expendable and that they have no value. “That’s not what I said” – “That’s what they heard”.(No matter how different Jaha and Bellamy are, they both share the ability to talk to the crows and gauge their emotional reactions, something Kane is terrible at, and that Clarke is not that good at. Abby has never even tried.)

In Polis, Kane has a serious conversation with Octavia, warning her that she’s become a bit too murdery. He calls her out on killing the looter to make him a scapegoat, and says she didn’t have to kill him or the Trishanakru Ambassador Rafel, or Pike. Octavia says Pike got what he deserved, and Kane points out the difference between revenge and justice. Hmm, I have to say that killing Rafel, while being immoral, could be argued to be necessary? He was going to fight and probably kill Roan, who was still recuperating, and that would have had really bad consequences. But there’s no doubt that Octavia is enjoying a chance to murder people a bit too much, and that using violence to solve all problems is her thing. But she is not comfortable listening to Kane morally judging her – something that also caused her behavior towards him in 6x01, when she was preemptively verbally attacking him because she was expecting his judgment.

But it turns out that Roan also isn’t a guarantee of peace and alliance, either. Echo has captured Bellamy and another guy called Stevens, off-screen (presumably with her people, the same way she confronted Octavia later, since I don’t see a way how she, with her sword, could capture Bellamy and another guy with guns), Roan forces Kane to tell him the truth about what the Sky people have been doing, and decides to break the alliance and go to war against them and Trikru, and take over Arkadia as a shelter, although Kane insists it’s just plan B. Roan thinks they lied to him and suspects that the Nightblood solution is a cover for trying to make another Commander behind his back, since he doesn’t really trust Octavia about the Flame being destroyed. At least he smartly got that right, though he is actually wrong about the rest of it.

The first victims of Roan’s decision are Trikru warriors in Polis, even though they didn’t even know anything about what was going on between Sky people and Roan. Octavia, looking for Indra finds many of them killed. There’s a moment where she thinks she sees Indra’s dead body, but it’s someone else. (Not the only time season 4 does this – we had a similar fake-out in 4x11 with Monty and Harper.) She goes to Arkadia to warn her people. Roan sends Echo to stop her and capture her, but Octavia won’t come and defends herself. Echo is trying to take her alive and she genuinely seems a bit upset/sad when she ends up stabbing Octavia, and Octavia falls down a very high cliff. I guess she’s interested in Bellamy enough already, and fears that constantly killing his loved ones is not going to help that potential relationship happen. Both Echo and Roan are a bit uncomfortable when they have to tell Bellamy the news. There’s a scene where Bellamy cries and breaks down, thinking his sister is dead, set to sad and emotional music. But guess what, end of episode twist - Octavia is alive.

Sorry, but the Azgeda war paint looks really silly. Is it supposed to look scary? It looks like a cross between a clown and a panda.

There are several things in this episode that really don’t make sense:

Clarke not putting Monty on the list – I feel like this happened just to show how Clarke is willing to not put her friends on the list (the conflict between her and Monty could have been just about Harper, but Harper and Clarke are not as close as Monty and Clarke, and Jasper wants to die anyway), but I’m supposed to believe that Clarke doesn’t think Monty is one of the 97 people in Arkadia most useful and important for survival? (I say 97, because Clarke would have put Bellamy and Octavia on the list no matter what – the latter because Bellamy would never forgive her if Octavia was not on the list.) Monty is probably one of the 5 most important people – he’s a genius, not just an engineer but someone who grows plants and can ensure food; Clarke was aware of his talents even in early season 1, and he will ,of course, prove to be arguably the most important person for everyone’s survival.

Jasper and Monty accusing Clarke of putting herself on the list – they really didn’t notice that “Clarke Griffin” was written in a different handwriting from the rest of the names? Come on!

Riley is now starting to get shoved into scenes in a way that doesn’t make too much sense, like being given important tasks. This guy had been a slave and mistreated until very recently, why isn’t he resting and getting therapy or something?

And of course, Octavia’s extreme Plot Armor – surviving the stab wound, I could believe, but after falling from that cliff, she is not only alive, but hasn’t broken her spine, or even leg, and is able to mount on the horse and ride to Arkadia?

Body count:

Stevens, Arker killed by Echo, who kills him with Bellamy right next to him and watching

A guard from the Ark, killed by a drone

Nyko, one of my favorite minor characters – I guess the show can’t let someone so nice and reasonable live

A number of Trikru warriors, killed by Azgeda, because we haven’t had any mass murders so far in the season, and we have to fill the quota of 2-3 mass deaths per season.

Two Azgeda warriors who were with Echo, and tried to capture Octavia, killed by Octavia

Rating: 6.5/10