#it never feels like enough - or shouldnt happen in the first place

[brofightiscancelled]

ok kind of an insane ask so feel free to ignore but would you be able to translate "友達バリア" by deco*27? i can't find any translations online and i wanna see if i'm right about the song kind of fitting the matsus... it's also a banger imo

- vocamatsu anon

omg.... tbh i have a feeling deco will make a video for this one which means we'll get an official english translation of it, rendering this completely redundant, but i'm really cheesed to have been asked, so i gave it a shot for you anyways <3

Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!

The despair of never getting anything more of this Your behavior, nor what's going on in your head- I can't read it at all! I can't help but envy the kindness you radiate Omnidirectional compatibility- it's just not for me

Carefully-picked down-played words The outcome: A bloody heart True feelings double-crossed by embarrassment; how frustrating, I'm changing sides But that won't fill up my heart What I want is nothing more than to be by your side If you've got something to say, then say it- 'til I defeat you, that is! 3, 2, 1!

Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!

I want you to like me! I want you to like me! Friend-zoned, love fire, hey, say "I give up"! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!

Fun things, good feelings- without you, they have no taste at all Sadness, jealousy- if they're cuz of you, then I don't mind them Let's throw down, bro! Better to regret doing it, than not doing it at all! A feeling like I won't need any special moves, YEAH I'm sure everything will be OKAY With an endless supply of love, you're undefeated, AYE Play dead, BYE BYE I'll be the one to throw the first punch

Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown The lonely and timid me is already no more! With a dazzling, blazing flair, I'll burn through your defenses!

Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!

Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!

------

my notes:

my overall interpretation of this song is "I'm trying to break through the friend zone (friendship barrier) so that you like me instead of thinking of me as a friend", so any vagueness in translation went in that direction

The use of "lock horns" in the official translation snippet + the HAO motifs give me the mental image of like, a hand-to-hand kung fu battle, so I leaned towards that imagery whenever there was vagueness (as opposed to like, a military campaign, for example)

deco's official english translations tend to be very liberal, so i tried to keep my translation a little more literal

[tamedstray]

obvi vigor x nox for the kid meme <3

Name: Karina Kovach

Gender: Cis female

General appearance: At first, Karina appears human or half-elven, with perhaps a touch of moon elf* heritage. She is extremely fair with soft waves of porcelain blonde hair. She has her father's brown eyes, though a wider patch of glacial grey-blue in the left eye. Karina is relatively tall (5'8'') with a lithe build. She wears her hair down to cover her ears, tired of hearing the insult ❝zenar❞ (less than half).

*mistaken as moon elf heritage

Personality: Determined and stubborn. Confident yet blunt. Despite growing up with a loving extended family in the Bailey. Karina is slow to open up to people, instinctively picking up on things in her parent's pasts they don't wish to talk about, and heavy with knowledge of how many horrible people live beyond the walls of her home. This improves as she enters adulthood, learning to become less closed-off and independent with time.

      Her appearance helps her blend in, but she resents the fact that Felicity can't, given that her older sister is such a radiant force of joy despite her unique appearance and disability. Karina considers it a great injustice, and feels a lot of anger towards those who hurt her family, even if she is fortunate enough to have never met them.

+ Highly intuitive, determined, hard-working, fiercely protective - Shuts people out, melancholic, difficult, blunt

Special Talents: As a young teenager, parts of Karina's appearance would shift when upset or angry. Eventually, she learned to cast Disguise Self at will, and has managed to control the more chaotic aspect of her changeling heritage. However, those who look closely with get a glimpse of suddenly darkening eyes, or streaks of colour in her hair that run like wind over water, only to vanish before anyone can be certain of what they saw.

Who they like better: Nox. She is lucky to be proud of both her parents, but looks up to Nox more than Vigor. She enjoys her father's playful side, but can't relate to his interest in nature or romantic tales. Her father might be a good man, and a symbol of diplomacy and change, but her mother built their home. Even so, despite all the love she has for her mother, it can be hard sensing pain that lay beneath the surface, and Karina often turns to Jaheira when she doesn't want to think about her grandfather.

Who they take after more: Karina's personality was heavily influenced by seeing her mother's work. But she wouldn't consider herself similar to her mother, despite sharing so much. Karina has yet to nurture the more gentle side within her, weighted down by anger at her grandfather and the people the Briar Knights hunt.

      In appearance, Karina appears more like her human father. She is grateful not to be subject to the same concern her mother and sister share, but seeing Felicity hide her natural appearance only fuels Karina's angry heart.

Personal headcanon(s):

Has developed secret signs with Felicity.

Extremely close with Felicity. Always nearby to translate for her, as well as being the first to react if anyone dared comment on her appearance.

She not only considers Felicity's curse a grave injustice, but Karina is insecure about being so closed-off and cold compared to her carefree and personable sister. She feels like she has to be more social, given that she can speak and lacks obvious changeling and shadar-kai heritage, but finds herself unable to meet the standard she sets for herself.

She can sing, but few are lucky to hear it. She mainly saves her voice for her sister, Jaheira, and Cordelia. She is too shy to sing around her parents. Her singing voice is soft and breathy.

Can play a few tunes on the lute. She is less shy about this, even if it's just a few basic songs. Has played for the Bailey's patrons a few times.

Overwhelmed with frustration and anger, Karina is approached by the archfey Oberon, offering her a pact that would grant her sister a voice. A small favour to ask of a King, so he makes a reasonable request in exchange: to one day join him in the Feywilds. Karina gladly accepts, becoming marked with tattoos in the process. She does not regret her choice, and honours Oberon by freeing enslaved and mistreated animals, just as her parents help those who need them the most.

Face Claim: Freya Allan

[buckevantommy]

Everyone's always telling Buck what he should do. Okay, sometimes he did ask for their advice, but every piece of advice he's followed through on lately has ended badly and everything they tell him to do he doesn't actually want to do.

He should want to do something if it's supposed to make him feel better, if it's supposed to be better for him, right?

Josh told him to bulldoze ahead and tell Tommy what he wanted. Tommy told him to re-enact his Buck 1.0 days and spend time with some indeterminate amount of people until he finds someone forever. Maddie and Chim told him to start dating again and also wait for the universe to bring him someone special; another someone. Hen and Eddie told him not to contact Tommy.

He doesn't want to do any of that! He wants to talk to Tommy, to see him, to get Tommy to talk to him instead of giving up on them and running away because he's scared. He wants to tell Tommy he loves him. He wants Tommy to know first and last aren't mutually exclusive. He wants to yell at Tommy, and kiss him, and hold him. He wants Tommy to apologise for breaking his heart and for being a dumbass. He wants Tommy to believe him when he says he won't do the same; well, he might be a dumbass sometimes - but he would never break Tommy’s heart. He wants to apologise for jumping ahead but also not have to apologise for wanting a life with Tommy or for being too much.

Since that first night Tommy kissed him, he's felt reborn. Not in some starry-eyed way that Tommy seems to think is fake and won't last, but in the way that he's shed the skin of past Buck upgrades and finally grown into his body, become comfortable in who he is instead of trying to fit a facade that other people would accept. Always too big, too much, not enough, never content to just sit in his self and be without his worries and insecurities moulding him into something else, something with a better chance of getting people to like him, love him, stay with him. 

He’s never felt more himself or more at ease in a relationship that meant something to him than he did with Tommy. Never felt more wholly seen - the good, the bad, and the too-much and not enough - by his partner and adored anyway, wanted anyway.

Halfway through making swiss meringue buttercream instead of breakfast, he realises he's thinking about Tommy. His coping skill, as Bobby called it, has stopped working.

There's butter and sugar in the creases of his hands and nailbeds even after he hurriedly wipes them with the dishcloth over his shoulder. He can see it as he scoops up his phone from the charger and thumbs over to his message thread with Tommy, leaving greasy crumby residue on the screen.

i saw you bubbling

After it happened, after the Chief distracted everyone enough for him to grab his phone and retreat somewhere he wouldn't be disturbed, he'd stared at the space where the unsent message had appeared for twenty minutes waiting for the type bubble to reappear. Waiting for Tommy to hit send on whatever he'd backtyped.

Buck's mind had spiralled with all the possibilities and while it spiralled and he stared and waited he never got around to actually calling or texting Tommy himself. And then the bell rang.

He has time, now. He has things he wants to say.

you were going to tell me something an maybe i wont like what it was but just knowing you almost reached out is kinda driving me crazy bc i have a fridge full of baked goods bc everytime i think about calling you i bake and now i havnt cooked a proper meal in my own place in over a week bc i dont have room in my damn fridge to store anything besides chocholate chip bananan bread and baked alaskas

He wants to say: and it's all your fault! but that's not the whole truth. Buck played his part in this, set the wheels in motion that drove Tommy away from him. But how the hell was he supposed to know that? And Tommy should've known by now he doesn't really do 'slow'.

i'm not sorry for being too much bc i shouldnt haveto apologize for being myself

Screw it. Can't get any worse, right? Tommy's getting all of him whether he likes it or not.

i dont see you as some queer life coach or someone to fill space until someon else comes along

thats not who i am

i thought you knew me better than that but whatevr ig

i wanted to live with you bc i want a life with you bc i love you

i love you

i shouldve said that first

Send after send, typing like a man possessed, he gets out everything that's been pent up inside him since the shock wore off a week ago.

His chest is heaving as the adrenaline rushes through his veins. And his eyes sting. He has to blink away tears as he reads over the last message.

He never told Tommy. Tommy doesn't know. Maybe Buck wasn't sure that night Josh asked him, but he knows it now.

i wanted you to be my last

He still does.

i wanna hate you for giving up on us

but i cant seem to hate you

This whole thing would hurt a lot less if he could just hate Tommy for what he did. It would hurt a lot less if they could find a way through this mess, together, and come out the other side stronger because they know each other better and know they want to fight for what they have.

Real love is worth fighting for. Red taught him that. Real love isn’t found, it’s made. Old gay Thomas taught him that.

Well, Buck found Tommy. Or, the universe did. And he’s going to fight, dammit, because he wants to build a future with Tommy. 

His vision has blurred with hot tears. Movement on his screen catches his attention from where his gaze had drifted over to the couch where Tommy had stayed to take care of him through his Billy Boils saga.

Tommy is bubbling him.

Buck’s heart lurches in his chest. His breath catches.

can we talk?

There’s a huff of something like manic laughter as he swipes at his snotty nose.

that’s what i typed

Hope blooms in his chest, sudden and bright and painful in the best way.  

can we?

I think I owe it to you to yell at me in person

There’s a long moment where Buck tries to return his breathing to normal but its bated as he watches three little dots appear, then disappear. 

Then reappear. 

Then disappear.

Then:

I don’t want to give up on us either

Buck’s tears are still making his vision watery, but now they’re tears of joy. He did what he wanted to do - he reached out. And Tommy heard him.

He should take his own advice more often.

[fantasynsuch]

Adam Stanheight SFW + NSFW headcanons

REQUESTS FOR SAW OPEN!

2.3k words

Sfw

How you meet!

you two meet probably in the hallway of your crappy apartment complex.

you run into him from the corner, he had his headphones in and was listening to it on full volume, and you were running late for work

crashing head first into neighbor? you dick he probably thinks to himself as he realizes he just ran into his neighbor.

he'd seen you around before: mostly rushing to whatever crappy retail job of the month you had

he had thought you were really beautiful, but he was a coward at heart, so never did anything about it

this time he didn't have the choice to not interact with you: well, without looking like a dick

"I am SO sorry. I'm such a dumbass." He rushes out before he can think

Youre still kinda in a little bit of shock, so you just look up at this incredibly handsome man who just face planted into you for a long while

he thinks your silence is you rejecting his apologies and he quietly apologizes and runs off

but you just were so enamored by him that you couldn't say anything

at work all you can think about is how you didn't accept his apologies and probably made him feel horrible

you were determined to make things right so after work you grab a couple packs of the smokes you always saw him with from the store and rush to his apartment

you timidly knock on his door and wait with bated breath

he sees you through the peephole and momentarily considers not answering it

but he sees the bag you have in your hand and is curious

he opens it, fully expecting to be yelled at for running into you

but all that happens is you raise the bag up quickly and say "i'm so sorry i didn't say anything, i feel so bad. i just was in shock because you're s-" you stop and say nothing after realizing your rambling

he looks in the bag and notices the smokes

you smile at him shyly

and that starts a beautiful relation

how you are as friends

you stay over ALOT

he tends to not eat the best so you make him alot of dinners and lunches to make sure he's eating regularly

his work as a professional stalker keeps him up at odd hours so those pre made meals are rlly a life saver

buying each other candy and snacks alot

when the other was having a rough month fiancially, you would try to pick up the slack andhelp them

that means buying the other small groceries and items to get them through till the next check

you stay over sm the other has toiletries like tooth brushes n soap at the others place

going to parties together but only talking to one another bc ur both not super extroverted

you just go for the free alcohol

speaking of which,,, taking care of each other when the other is drunk

he holds ur hair when ur sick in the toilet,

you rub his back when he's sick

when the other is actually ill as in cold or the flu, bringing each other soup n montioring each others temp

making sure the other takes their meds to get better

inevitably the other gets sick with the same thing, but it just ends up the same way with the other taking care of u

leaving notes in his mail slot when he's busy, and since its 2004, no fast messaging so "coming over at 5!! xoxo" in his mail slot

he lives kinda like a typical man with basically only a chair and essentials , bare ass living room

taking him to the thrift store to get like a decent couch n maybe an arm chair

helping him expand his wardrope to something beyond crappy second hand flannel n white shirt (preferably without blood on it)

helping him get through his trauma over the trap

you cant exactly help him get over it, but ur there when he has bad moments

holding him while he sobs in ur lap

just stroking his hair n reminding him hes here n not at the god awful bathroom

it really calms him down and reminds him he is present in this moment, not that one

he sometimes gets insecure about his scar on his shoulder and tries to hid it but you remind him that he shouldnt be embarassed for being strong enough to survive

helping him get back into normal non stalkery photographer- his need to make money to live kinda outweighed his desire to just take pics of birds

speaking of which: he def loves nature photography

he lives in new jersey, so its rare he gets to do that, but its a nice treat

road trips with him n he spends the whole time as a passenger princess asking you to stop n take pics of a dead tree that has a rlllly nice backdrop

ur crappy car probably breaks down once or twice but its part of the adventure

In a relationship

kisses. lot of f'ing kisses

neck kisses, forehead kisses, navel kisses. any types!

probably is the little spoon lbr

follows ur lead for the most part

want to go to the theatre? it may take out half his money but he WILL pay for the date

probably gets u sweet treats alot n writes a little note that says "love you babe!"

he def clings to you everywhere u go

got to go to the kitche? catch him hugging u from behind n not letting go

can't fall asleep without each other anymore

he used to have a twin sized mattress but he decided to buy a full after u moved intogether

speaking of which, he definitely moved into your apartment

you have a two bedroom n that allows him to have a red room for his photography and a bedroom

he probably only had a redroom and slept on the couch at his apartment tbh

typical man

very clean n likes to take showers with you

his fav thing is his hair being washed by you

the scraping on his scalp is incredibily grounding

he loves washing you as well, and not in a sexual way.

theres something so domestic about cleaning each other that he loves.

ultimately i think his interactions with cheating rich men has spoiled a bit of his view of marriage, but with you he really can see himself settling down and being a forever thing. beyond everything, he trusts you

he craves domesticity so he will enjoy providing for you and helping with the house

loves to cook, his mom probably taught him

doesn't really have a jealousy problem, though he can get jealous from time to time

very rare, but if he does, there might actually be a substantiated reason

doesn't want kids atm, as he can barely support himself and you.

waiting up for you to get home no matter how tired he is

wants to make sure you're home safe

rlly co dependent directly following the trap. can't be in the bathroom by myself, it reminds him too much of the trap. he needs you to be in the room with you while you speak to him through the curtain, or even better, being in the shower with you.

needs constant reassurance he isnt a burden on you

he feels like you don't deserve to be with a man who has so many problems

you tell him constantly that you will be there no matter what

holding hands just to remind him of your presence.

calms him down alot more than you expect

if you happen to be late getting home from work, he may partially freak out: thinking you left him finally

you'll find him sobbing on the couch curled in on himself

he's so vulnerable after lawrence left him there

he doesn't know that lawrence didn't break his promise intentionally so he holds alot of resentment for him

kissing his cheeks and telling him you'll never leave

onto more happy things:

MOVIE NIGHTS!!! you religiously watch movies together and spend most of the time talking about the stupidity of the characters or something.

never meeting his parents bc he's not on good terms with them

LOVES THAT YOURE ABOUT HIS HEIGHT, he's not a tall man and has never been insecure about his height, but the fact he's eye level with you makes it extremely intimate in his opinion

or if you're taller than him, his man brain goes ooga booga and thinks "tall woman/man" and all bets are off

NSFW

okay, to go ahead and put this glaringly obvious thing out there: HE HAS A THING FOR BEING A SUB!!!

He needs you to take control and tell him what to do

grab him by his hair and shove him in between your legs? yes ma'am

ask him to kneel and eat you out on a hardwood floor? done

he absolutely would do anything for you

he needs reassurance what he's doing is good: and rest assured, it is

he probably is a bit messy, and not very controlled

sloppy licks and desperate sucks are common

same thing for when he's inside you

ragged thrusts and a desperate pace

hes probably desperate bc you havent let him cum the whole session

his cock is probably a bit under average length wise, but good god is his girth something to marvel at

everytime he takes you he stretches you

very skinny man, and once you get your claws into him, he probably gains weight which gives him a cute bit of chub that you love to grab onto while he's thrusting into your hole haphazardly.

its almost like a leash

he absolutely needs direction the first couple times, hes so nervous he's shaking

you ask if he wants to keep going and he nods quickly n says theres nothing he's ever wanted more, but assuming this is following the trap, he absolutely needs someone to tell him what to do

could definitely get off from watching you cum (it's def happened before, his poor red cock hadn't been touched all night beyond the grinding on the bed he's hidden from you while eating you out and seeing your intense pleasure just,, he couldn't hold on anymore)

probably circumcised with a tasteful amount of hair, enough to be cute but not enough to be annoying

his nipples are probably so sensitive and he doesnt even know it, he's never thought to play with them

the first time you brush them he gasps and leaks precum

from then on they become a regular part of your routine when playing with him

PLEASE CALL HIM A GOOD BOY!!!

the first time you do, his head is thrown back in ecstasy from your mouth on his cock, and when you pull up, you tell him to look at you while still stroking his cock, and you say "youre my good boy. cum for me my baby boy."

he immediately cums and is embarrassed for weeks, even with your reassurance that it was the hottest thing you've ever seen

speaking of head, he loves getting it but he absolutely enjoys giving it more

theres something so sexy about being able to lick you to completion

when he gets head, he's so lost in his own pleasure that he forgets to breathe and when he remembers, he takes deep breaths

is so in love with your body

he thinks your the hottest person he's ever seen

would probably want to call you mistress or momma. i dont make the rules

RIDE HIM RN

he loves when you're on top, it makes him feel so helpless

alright so: he definitely wants you to peg him

grip his hands and place them above his head, and shove his head into the mattress

anything

his fav position is with his ass up in the air with his head shoved in a pillow and his cock hanging pitifully untouched. shove your strap into his ass while he begs you to make him cum

grab his face and kiss him while he wails out from the pleasure

shove your tongue down his throat,,, something!!

IN THE ODD OCCASION HE IS FEELING DOMINANT!!

rare

but it happens

he isn't some hard dom who leaves you bruised up

he will take care of you just like he does when he's subbing, but he won't let you order him around

grabs your neck and just holds. not enough to prevent you breathing, but enough for you to know its there

still sloppy either way

with him, aftercare is a must

thing is: you can't leave him alone after he's finished subbing, as it sparks some trigger that brings him back to the bathroom, where, in his mind, lawrence left him to die

you have to take him with you

you found out after he cries out and practically tackles you begging you to not leave and to stay with him and to not abandon him

its alot of rambling, but once you get him to calm down, he is pretty embarrassed, but you understand

you tell him to get up and hold his hand, or hug, while walking to the bathroom

wiping a rag on his oversensitive cock to clean it and seeing his face scrunch up is ur fav thing

you might make him eat his cum out of you to clean you up, but it just depends on how he feels. and it might start up a whole nother round so its a gamble

he probably doesn't fall asleep immediately afterward, and will stay there stroking your hair while you sleep to remind himself you're there, you aren't leaving and you love him

LOTS OF LOVE YOU'S DURING AND AFTER!!

something about you telling him you love him does something: it might be from him feeling useless and like a burden

when he finally sleeps, he's the little spoon and he whispers a quick,"thank you"before nodding off

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!! I LOVE ADAM AND SAW AND AND pLS REQUEST SOMETHING!!

[tboynightmare]

rewatching yellowjackets in preparation of s3 and noticing so much symbolism in jackie. like in the beginning we see her talking to coach martinez and we literally get told how she isnt the fastest or the most technically skilled of the girls on the team but she is still the leader because she has the ability to hold them together and the charisma to make them listen to her. we see this when shauna fights with tai and everyone starts in on each other after what happens to allie. when jackie is the one to tell them that enoughs enough and that they need to overcome their differences for the sake of the team. we even see her try to take on this role again when they crash, even though she probably shouldnt have, and she tells shauna to leave van in the plane. luckily, but sort of unluckily for jackie, van is able to escape on her own. though it is good that van didn't die, i believe this was the first straw that starts jackies transition from the fearless, confident leader of the group to the outcast.

after van saves herself (which im not mad about btw. i LOVE van) and there is that resentment against jackie in her, it makes it a lot easier for everyone to turn on her. on top of it all, although she is a good leader, jackie isnt able to assume that role because she cant find a purpose. not being able to provide or help the group in any lasting way is just another reason for them to feel like she isnt needed, like they could easily survive without her. we see this building when shauna goes to try to teach her to be a butcher and, as theyre walking away, mari and akilah (?) give her a look. also when shauna outright tells her she cant just go on doing nothing. at least on the soccer team she was doing something, but here, with no tasks shes willing or able to complete, she has no leg to stand on. theres really no reason for anyone to listen to her.

it only gets worse from then on, the tension peaking after doomcoming. regardless of how high and drunk they were, they scared the shit out of jackie and never apologize to her for it. everyone just kind of expects her to get over it. besides, she had tried to "steal" travis in their eyes, despite nat and travis not even being together anymore. not to mention her accidentally and unknowingly causing the break up in the first place. her anger with the girls for not easily forgetting the night before i think is honestly the last straw for all of them. that is why they dont really care when jackie tells them that shaunas baby is jeffs. thats why lottie tells ben not to step in when the fight escalates. thats why they ultimately leave her in the dust. she loses her reliability and trustworthiness in their eyes through her inability to assimilate to life in the wilderness as a whole, meaning she loses her status completely as the head of the team.

despite all this, she is able to hold them together like she did at home in the end. her final act of generosity and love for her team is giving her body, the meat she provides when she is steamed by the pyre and snow. even though for almost all of her stay with them in the wilderness, she hardly did anything to help, in the end, she carries them through one more night, her warmth filling their aching bellies and satisfying their hunger.

[virginiaisforvampires]

Hey V. On the topic of the show making some terrible decisions that shouldnt have happened and will forever cause problems. Feels like recently people don't talk enough of the opposite side of the spectrum. The good choices that make things so much better and would make the show worse if they hadn't happened. What are your favorites from that? For me between the casting and setting decisions that ended up with Jacob as Louis and the second interview framing device. I can't see the show working without those happening.

Yeah, it’s Jacob’s Louis for me. I think that was the best decision they ever could’ve made, and I thank our lucky stars that we were blessed with someone like Jacob to bring this version of Louis to life.

He is so much richer, so much more likable, so charming, so endearing, so inspired, so layered, so multi-faceted. I could gush all day about him. From his first (true) intro in 1x01, the scene with Bricktop and Fenwick, I was utterly entranced with him. I remember thinking to myself “Oh, I adore him. This is gonna be so good.”

And I just cannot imagine this show without this version of Louis or without Jacob to bring him to life.

Having said that, I also think Sam’s Lestat is on another level too. Sam is taking an already larger-than-life, force-of-nature character and taking him into the stratosphere just like Jacob has done for Louis. This isn’t even touching upon the fact that Jacob and Sam genuinely adore each other and have the extraordinary chemistry that they do. Words fail to properly articulate it. A new word should be invented just to describe the magnificence that is Jam.

I do enjoy the concept of the second interview. It’s made the story interesting and fresh while also incorporating all the layers from the first interview as being the reference point.

I love the way they incorporated all of the hints and details of reality into S2 via DreamStat. The call in 2x05 in conjunction with the reunion in 2x08 was excellent, and I will never get over it. Kind of related to that, I also love how they’ve established that Lestat professes his love to Louis in moments when he knows Louis is spiraling. I love how they’ve established that Louis represents home to Lestat. I love how they’ve established that Louis was living his best life with Lestat and that Lestat was his best friend in addition to being the love of his life. I also really like how they’re setting up the parallels between Louis and Nicki, because that will become vital in the upcoming arcs.

Assad’s version of Armand is brilliant, and 2x05 was a masterclass from both him and Jacob. I love the fact they’ve essentially made Daniel into a Sophia Petrillo character, and I love the twisted setup for Devil’s Minion with Armand wanting to know why Daniel was so “fascinating.”

I do enjoy the timeframe change, because it has granted the show a more fresh and relatable framework that audiences would’ve likely not connected with had they went with the book timelines. I love how they set up TVL with the ending of 2x08, which makes for an interesting and exciting twist by having Lestat’s rockstar era take place in present day. It opens up the door for a lot of meta possibilities in terms of PR for the show. That is, if AMC is smart about it and what it could generate if they do this correctly.

Bailey and Delainey both have been incredible as Claudia, and I love the way they demonstrated the feelings and visions that come via the blood exchange with Madeleine’s turning.

So yeah, for all of my issues with it, the show continues to have many positives that do serve to make it an elite and intellectual show. I continue to love it and believe it’s the best show on TV.

Having seen both S1 and S2 now, I just wish Rolin and the writers would understand that certain things cannot be changed without it changing the entire meaning, and if they’re determined to change something, the effects of said changes need to be accounted for in some way instead of trying to forcibly fit things where they no longer go.

It’s clear to me now that the show is doing something incredibly interesting that has the potential to be the most brilliant thing ever. The show is in the position of being exactly like the books while being nothing like the books, and I don’t know how they’ve managed that paradox, but they have. The show is Rolin’s version while simultaneously being one with Anne’s version. To enjoy what the show is serving, one has to realize that certain book elements are not going to exist in the show, and that’s okay, because the show is attempting to broaden Anne’s world and bring all her loose threads together in one cohesive story. Like I said, if they can pull this off given everything they’ve set up so far, I will bow down and crown Rolin Jones as the master showrunner of all time, because at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about for me. I want this show and this cast to be successful. I want it to fully live up to its’ potential, because I’ve waited a decade for this beloved material to finally be adapted, and my vested interest is in seeing it being handled properly, with the care it needs, and seeing it being given its’ full opportunity to finally shine.

These books are loved for a reason, and I sincerely hope Rolin and the writers understand that and do right by these characters and especially my babydolls Louis and Lestat. I want their story told RIGHT.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

Saiki and Aiura are bound to end up togethre because Aiura predicted it and her predictions are never wrong by the way! Hope this helped! Soulmates cant be platonic beacuse thats not what she predicted!

? im not sure where this is coming from but my point isnt and has never been "aiura and saiki are platonic soulmates", its "regardless of their status as soulmates, it cant force them to fall in love and so that relationship will just develop as it may, platonic OR romantic." the way you say this honestly just makes it seem like you dont understand what "soulmate" means and WHY people call them "platonic soulmates", its not that people think "platonic soulmates" is a specific label that defines them and that thats what the universe wanted them to be, its that "soulmates" cannot be defined as strictly platonic OR romantic without being an extremely creepy forced romance or friendship and it doesnt make sense that way anyway, so people are allowed to think their label as soulmates ends up being platonic FOR THEM.

and also that its really creepy that people think she has some sort of ownership over him or something... that just because she tells him theyre romantic soulmates means his feelings dont matter, youre not allowed to ship him with anyone else and hes not allowed to love anyone else, even if theyre not dating because she already staked her claim on him or something 😭

and nowhere in canon does it say she predicted that they end up together btw, its already very clear to me that youre very biased but this is just something you made up. if you headcanon that, thats perfectly okay!! but as far as we know, it didnt happen. nowhere does it say or even slightly imply that her soulmate power has anything to do with her predictions of the future, most of her powers that we see actually dont lol she predicts some futures but her other most prevalent powers we're shown are her ability to see auras and "compatibility" (which you can headcanon or theorize as having to do with future predictions, but again in canon this is never even so much as alluded to)

so yeah its not a future prediction and also even if it was, they literally prove in the show that the future can be changed, especially if you KNOW the future. but regardless, i doubt its a prediction in the first place and all evidence points to it not being so, especially since aiura went out of her way to come to pk to find her soulmate which, if she had already predicted theyd be together eventually, would change their future, their meeting, and their love story drastically and, although i have criticisms for how she wholeheartedly trusted her power and didnt actually make any romantic connection with saiki before trying to date him, aiura is not nearly stupid enough to mess it up that badly

anyway, like ive said a million freaking times, i do think "soulmate" the way she says it has a romantic connotation, but my point is that that doesnt actually mean much in terms of anything romantic happening between them. it didnt happen in canon and theres nothing to imply that it ever will. shipping and headcanoning is awesome and fun and i love love loveeee aiura and saikis friendship and how fun it is to build off of, but a romantic relationship between them is not canon, not now and never in the future. in myyyyy opinion, they found each other and theyre good for each other and thats what matters to me about their relationship and thats what makes them "soulmates".

also guys me saying your ship isnt canon shouldnt be considered an insult to your ship, i dont know why people take it that way 😭 im a fucking diehard kubosai shipper which is the least canon you can possibly get and you dont see me desperately grasping at straws to force it to be canon, join the club ??? its not that hard ??? also some of my other favorite ships are teruaisai and poly psychikers so its not even like im saying mikosai is impossible 😭 also last note, i find it very very hard to believe that people genuinely think asou would and did make a saiki ship canon LMAOOOO he gets close with ships sometimes like with satou and suzumiya, he somewhat implied they both like each other but not that they would ever get together... i wholeheartedly believe terusai is implied to be reciprocated and i have a lot of evidence for it, but its not CANON for a reason, asou would not do that and its more interesting this way anyway. we can agree to disagree on implications, but hating on me because you think your ship is CANON is next level delusional

[enginator2000]

worst popular infinite headcanon?

oh my. this one got long so im going to spare peoples dashes by putting this under a cut haha

anyways my answer is: making him out to be a little crybaby who is driven purely by revenge and sadness to make the world pay for shadow killing his squad mates, whom he loved in a normal way and saw them as family or whatever. it makes his character so goddamn flat and boring bc thats such a standard villain motivation, and it entirely strips away a lot of his personality even when theres already so little to work with LMAO

i know ive spoken about it at length in the dog&hog server but to me, infinites most notable trait is that hes selfish

in the prequel comic rise of infinite (yay, prequel comic talk. everyones favourite, i know) he deliberately ignores any protests from his gang against accepting eggmans deal of working with him, because eggy singles him out and offers him a place at his side to bring his fantasy of ruin into reality. not infinite and his crew, just infinite

(image has two comic panels. in the first one, eggman is reaching a hand out to infinite as he says "now you are an interesting guy. i like you. how about i hire you to lead my forces? together we'll take over the world!" in the second panel, one of the jackal squad members says "boss! dont be tempted by him. we'll be fine!")

and infinite says yes after briefly talking about how he personally feels bored and tired of how the world is right now

(image has two panels. in the first, infinite is mumbling to himself, first laughing and then saying "interesting. all this time ive been going through the motions. ive actually grown quite tired of the world as it is." in the second panel he stands and says "lets do it doctor! i'll help you change this world!")

again, its a decision based off an entirely personal and individualistic opinion that only takes his own feelings into account. you would think that if he valued his squad to the extent that they were "like family" to him, he would have listened when they said he shouldnt make a deal with eggman. if he actually cared about them as much as he cared about himself, he would have trusted them enough to say no. instead he only thinks about what he wants and what he can get, not about what will happen to the others

ive always been of the opinion that infinite used his squad and position of authority as their leader to prop himself up and viewed them more like underlings or subjects that he could order around and be superior to, rather than equals whose opinions and input he valued. maybe he started out having more camaraderie with the other jackals, but it certainly doesnt show by the time we get to the events of the prequel comic, and even less so when we get to episode shadow/the main game

the idea that he saw his squad more like tools to make himself look better than people also makes more sense because when in episode shadow, eggman calls infinites squad "useless" directly to him and all infinite says is "yeah, yeah" in a very uncaring fashion. even when he then spots shadow and says "you.. you destroyed my squad!" its entirely unconvincing to me that he said it out of sorrow or sadness; to me it was more like simple anger that it happened. because now without his little group of followers that looked up to him and did whatever he told them to, he had nobody to feel superior to. he couldnt go on any more power trips by being The Boss bc there was nobody left to indulge him, no one to stoke his ego, nobody to be the boss of. so thats why he felt slighted by shadow in the first place; how dare this hedgehog take away what made him feel special and important. and then of course the ensuing humiliation that came afterward was just the icing on the shit cake haha

it also explains why infinite never brings up his squad in any of his monologues (besides the prequel comics and episode shadow being obvious afterthoughts to the main game loool); he just doesnt care. if anything, their loss was his gain bc it pushed him towards acquiring the phantom ruby and getting to go on the ultimate power trip of world domination and near total subjugation of the population. i think that also ties into his mindset that friends make you weak and you cant rely on anyone but yourself; in his case, thats literally true. if he hadnt lost his squad, if he had initially listened to them, the chain of events we know well would not have come to pass and he would not have gotten to become the powerhouse he did. he would have still been leading his monotonous life and following the same old script. from his perspective they really did hold him back, and only once they were gone was he able to become stronger. he reiterates this by thanking shadow in the dlc for doing what he did in mystic jungle (killing the jackal squad and kicking infinites ass) bc otherwise he wouldnt have gotten the incentive he needed to take on the mantle of becoming a super powered weapon

and if you want some more evidence thats admittedly a lot more of a stretch, you could also interpret infinite creating a posse of past sonic foes as him filling the void of using the jackal squad that was created after shadow had taken them down. he gets to control people again (even if theyre clones that had no choice but to obey him but nyeh i told you it was a stretch), he gets to be a leader again

idk, i just think that having a sob story as a main motivation is (funny joke here) weak. i have never once thought that infinite needs to have some kind of sympathetic or tragic backstory. and maybe thats just my own personal bias coming through bc i prefer villains that are evil for reasons like their moral philosophies or have some kind of goal that makes the audience go "maybe they do have a point tbh" and villains that are just evil for the sake of it over villains that say "my mom died" as if that is any kind of justifiable explanation. imo it almost always comes off as them making an excuse, and its lame. just own it, yknow?

so yeah if i could block one thing from the minds of infinite fans it would be the hc that infinite was tightly knit with the jackals and wanted what was best for them. bc with all the evidence ive seen, its not supported at all, and hes actually the exact opposite; he does what he wants and uses who he wants for his own purposes and gain

also yes i do think shadow straight up killed the other jackals and i do think thats in character for him but thats a conversation for another day

[sometimesiammybpd]

last night was a mess and i don’t know how to feel about it. for starters, it ended with about five different smaller dreams that all involved my fp leaving in one way or another. but just the way it played out is what im not happy with towards myself. i don’t even know where to start. the relationship with my fp is complicated and not just because they’re my fp. i have to go into this slightly, but it’s not my story to tell so it won’t be a full explanation. their dad is abusive in more ways than one and to put it as brief as possible, they don’t have privacy and have to be careful who they do anything with when it’s not a brief talking conversation every couple hours (couple being anywhere between 2 - 6+). as far as i know, only one friend has crossed the barrier between what we do and actually “hanging” with them. and unfortunately, it almost came crashing down within an instant over something i’m not at liberty to say. again, not my story to tell. point being, it makes things difficult. it’s always been bad but in the year we didn’t talk it got worse.

last night, i offered the idea of us playing a game together online because while i’m not saying i wanted to “cross the barrier” as i put it, i wanted to do something more than just text, ykno? and it was going fine until they told me how it’d have to play out with their dad always around the corner and to be completely honest, i don’t know what i was feeling. and all of this i make no excuses for. basically what i got told was that them and the one friend (who shall remain nameless) who actually HAS crossed the barrier have to use code words for a lot of things and their dad has to know about them and all this stuff. which was also the first time i got really told how much had changed in a year. yes, a part of me kinda got upset because i was hoping it was going to be just me and them but after what i got told, it made sense and while i was still upset because it’s how it be, it became unjustified (not that it WAS justified in the first place) because i don’t know. call it jealousy or whatever other emotion could fit. i don’t even know or understand why because crush or not, why be jealous of the one person who helped them through some of the worst times of their life? like that alone made me angry at myself. but i just kind of shut down.

take a shot every time i’ve had to say i don’t know because i don’t know. i cannot classify my emotional states at all, but like i hate that i get like this over things like this. regardless and to get back to the topic at hand, i did start getting afraid of what might happen should i cross the same barrier. because things already are bad enough as it is and i didn’t want to even try to make it worse. because it’s not just that i’m afraid of not using the wrong code word or forgetting one when their dad is around, leading to unwelcome results or just them losing it over another online friend needing to get introduced because you never know what could happen. it’s that when things get really bad or i get upset enough for any reason, i start to feel like a child. more than just the typical “you’re acting like a child.” maybe it’s age-regression. i don’t know. i don’t want to make excuses for my behavior in any way and act like it absolves me when it doesn’t. honestly a part of why i haven’t looked into age-regression but that’s for another post. point being, i start to just get defensive. like unnecessarily defensive. so for instance:

person: hey, wanna do this thing? me who’s already upset to that point: *excuse for why we shouldnt* person: are you sure? it’s okay either way. it’s not a big deal me: nope i’m good it’s fine don’t worry about it

and it goes on for a while. honestly one of the reasons why i’ve struggled to change in that specific regard or at least understand what’s happening more and try to deal with it in healthier ways is because i’m afraid it’s another abusive tactic, intentional or not. i don’t mean it as manipulative, but i know it comes off that way. and it’s worse in my head during that. but yeah. it didn’t end great and i take responsibility. i hate myself when it gets to moments like this because it leads to self-destruction in a big way. and it’s not like i can’t stop myself but to someone who doesn’t have bpd, it’s not that easy either. it doesn’t excuse anything but i can promise you that if you’ve had someone with bpd just blow up your relationship out of nowhere and it felt like they had no reason to, they probably didn’t. but they probably also felt like they lost control of themselves until it was too late to fix it.

and to my fp (because i will be sending this to them and don’t have it in me right now to write this twice.), im really sorry for last night. i’m sorry for making you feel like you did anything wrong and for you even remotely having to try and apologize for what wasn’t your fault. it’s not my place to make decisions FOR YOU in that regard because i’m not the one who’d have to deal with the firsthand repercussions of said decisions. i’m sorry for making things awkward and just making an okay night go sour over effectively nothing. i don’t want to ruin what’s between us and i don’t want to make your life more complicated than it already unfortunately is. there’s a few things i’ll say in dms because tumblr doesn’t need to know every single aspect of this, but i’m really really sorry i reacted the way i did.

[maskedrealities]

I don’t want people to help if this is what it feels like… I don’t want to take advantage and have people send me anything. I should be able to do it on my own… If I didn’t quit my job, we wouldn’t be here. This wouldn’t be happening. If people were hiring this wouldn’t be happening. I’m not trying to take advantage of people, it was never my intention to… I don’t know how I have been… but I don’t want help anymore. Help just causes me more pain. Help is just me hurting others when I don’t even want it in the first place…

I’ve already taken enough as is, without even meaning to. I’ve already been told that I’m causing issues for groceries even if I eat nothing or don’t need it as much. I should have spent my birthday money on things I needed, not petty things I wanted. It’s been made clear I shouldnt do that again.

I’m ruining a Christmas they’re celebrating. I don’t know how but I am… Maybe I should take my meds… I can finally see the dosage I need then…

[xanderxciv]

Part XI(Finale) - Evolution

(Gohan & Sym Part XI[Finale])

Part IX(Finale) - Sym's Evolution:

In Sym's mind, only one bit of Cell remained, who is back to his Perfect Cell form because Sym was born from him, not Almighty Cell who had his memories & was created with the remains of the Larve & Cell Jr pieces. Perfect Cell aimed to take over his body & tried to use Sym's Obsidian form to fight him, but Sym is beyond that.

There was no fight. Sym had 2 choices, either destroy Cell once & for all, or absorb him. Either way he'd be completely gone from his consciousness. Sym chose to absorb him, telling his father that he'll never be like him.

Meanwhile, Sym's body starts to be covered in an orb(like Frieza during his transformations in Budokai 3), it cracks & he emerges. Sym evolved.

Just like Omni-Cell, no more insect features, Sym looks more like a Saiyan but with his father's resemblance, but he has bird-like features(because of Toriyama. His last name partly means bird). The battle is done, Sym is a new ally to the Z-Fighters & the battle inspired Gohan to keep up with his training.

Sym does the same under Piccolo, their dynamic truly becomes like father & son. Sym took on the purple Gi, but Piccolo gave him the weighted armor. Sym wants to gain his own power. He still has SSJ, but forms after that are similar, but with bird puns(including Platinum, which he currently can't use again). He even sparred with Tien & Yamcha, seeing Ultra Riyō for the 2nd time and realized they couldve jumped & killed him if he was evil.

Before that, he feels like he owes 17 & 18. He went to Capsule Corp, asked(politely. Uub & Cabba are polite & Gohan before them, that seems to be a thing with these students) Bulma for a place to rebuild 16.

Sym has Cell's memories & Gero's but partly. One ability that stood out was Sym reading minds far beyond what Goku could do. He sees memories, which is how he was caught up on the Earth's DB Super events(up to the Moro Saga) & God Ki. He saw Andriod 21's memories when she was Vomi, and he saw 17 & 18's memories of 16.

So Sym pieced together 16's memories enough. The body he made for him is BioMechanical like him, Cell and 17 & 18. Not fully machine like before & it also has Sym's Saiyan & Namekian genes.

It took 2 days for 16 to wake up & he was pissed because he remembers everything. Including the Cell Jrs. Sym had to talk him down & stop a fight from happening in Bulma's lab. After everything's explained, 16 calms down & let Sym finish making his new armor. Which comes from data on Vegeta's RoF armor that Bulma made.

Sym gives 16 an actual name, Shin Gevo. They go to see 18, Gevo's reunited with Krillin & 18, and he basically becomes an Uncle to Marron. The two visit MVP 17 next, and Gevo's proud of 17 becoming a Park Ranger, which he intends to help him with. But he definitely has to train, test his new strengths.

(Also, when it comes to this What-If, Super Hero doesn't change much. Except Cell Max had more time to cook, Sym didn't know Gero had other Kin, Sym & Gevo meet Dr Hado, see that he isn't evil, and Cell Max whoops Sym, who tried to use his Platinum form again but cant. And Sym called Cell Max a cheap knock-off of his father).

Sym will return in Rakshasa's Reincarnation(where Cell & 21 will also return, in Hell), and after that, The Cold King's Fury.

No joke, I got other What-Ifs planned. Earthlings Rise will keep going, and I'll finish Namek Prime first. Just three characters though, not tons of transformations. So that shouldnt be a huge project like this one, but it might.

Until Next Time.

[notthestarwar]

gold teeth and a taste for this town sounds fascinating O.O

ahhhh ok so I kind of love this. it's entirely self indulgent and I had a great time writing the first 3000 words and then realised that i'd set myself up with a mammoth task if I were ever going to manage to explain the backstory enough so that anyone but me understood what the hell was happening.

so the story is set in this kind of small dead-end, americana esque town. one day a stranger rolls in to town and wanders in to the restaurant Fox works in. And it's like he's wandered in to the wrong story, he's walked straight out of a space opera and now he's sitting in front of Fox, like thats a thing that happens. never left this small town and thinks he probably never will: fox.

and then! maul has the cheek to start quizzing Fox, and acting like Fox is out of place. As far as Maul is concerned, he's landed on some dead end planet, walked in to an even deader town, and found a clone. Maybe the last clone. And this clone, is acting like he belongs here, like he has no idea who Maul is, like he's never known war, like he's never known anything but this place.

it's so bizzare that it shakes maul out of his usual, stab first, ask questions later attitude. he arrived on this planet a bit lost, there isnt really anything left for him. his ex master took over the galaxy, and he didnt need maul to do it. maul has tried his hand at leadership, at crime. but whats the point. but then. he stumbled upon this mystery, and against all reason it just, compells him.

so maul asks some more questions and it becomes apparent that fox woke up here with no memory, assumed he belonged, and everyone in this town felt so fucking awful for him (they're out of the way but news of the war reached them. news of the clones seemingly fizzling out after the empire, supposedly all gone). they just... didnt correct his assumption. and based on like. books he's read and the gossip he hears from the locals about each other, fox has just pieced together that he's this small town boy, who's never left. of course it doesnt QUITE feel right, fox shouldnt believe it, but he wants to.

he's a clever man and he can see the way the townspeople look at him, he sees them treating him gently and he thinks, he knows, that something really bad must have led to him losing his memory. of course he assumes its something bad of the level that might happen in a town like this. he lost his family? were they murdered? was it an illness? whatever it is, nobody speaks of them (because they were never in this town!!!) so it must have been bad.

and maul just keeps following him round trying to unravel this mystery and the companionship ends up doing something to him. maybe its a mixture of the hopelessness and boredom that brought him to this place, as well as the companionship. but either way, maul begins to connect with fox, even though fox hasnt the slightest clue who he is, and through this, Maul slowly begins to deal with his own shit. through fox, he can see what palpatine did to people. through fox, he can see it wasnt right, that fox didnt deserve it. and that eventually will lead to him realising that the same thing might apply to him as well.

and a maul without that first wound (once it begins to heal), wouldnt really be the maul we know from canon. where is his motivation to keep killing, to keep everyone away? he's still maul about it. he's still a dick and he's sharp and mean. but he isnt on a rampage anymore.

and thats the story. its a small town, slow story about two men who never really felt like they needed friends, becoming friends. its about these 2 victims of palpatine, finding solace in each other because they both went through the same thing, even though one of them has no idea. its a weird one, but I love it. i'll probably never post it tbh cause its kind of confusing i guess? but its like my ugly child lol i still love it.

its still in first draft format as i never intended to share it, but heres some of it.

thank you for asking!

[arachaoticnid]

Being A Fern;

How did it happen?:

In the early months of being nonhuman online, i decided to have a name purely for my nonhumanity so i took the name inferno and shortened it to fern. After a while i grew used to the name fern and started to prefer it to inferno, honestly sometimes i forget that it isnt my proper "human" name, and i developed a connection between me and ferns. At first it was just seeing a fern and going 'hehe thats me lol' and being a nonhuman called fern 'im not a human im fern' started to blend together to become 'im not a human im a fern'. This was just a side thing for a while just a label that didnt have much effect on me but then i got thrown into an episode of identity confusion and the name fern was the only thing that properly stuck. I was now fully a fern.

My experiences:

As im photosensitive ive never really wanted to spend long amounts of time in the sun so one of a plants most noticeable features, photosynthesis, has never appealed to me. That being said ferns do well in low light. I enjoy the slow movement of plants and often just want to sit by a tree and let the wind or rain hit me, i would love to be huddled with other plants at a forest floor. The idea of being a house fern has crossed my mind but it feels so lonely to me especially if im sectioned to a pot by myself, i want to be able to reach out to other plants roots. Trees feel sort of like a guardian to me and i enjoy spending time with them and chatting to them. Some ferns can also be considered weeds as they tend to get into places quickly and are difficult to get rid off, im definitely one of those ferns. I have a habit of getting into places i shouldnt and am fairly stubborn a guy.. what can i say im a weedy little rascal.

What now?:

Most of my nonhuman identities are that of carnivorous animals, so a plant type is definitely pretty strange to me and for it to have developed so quickly by complete accident. Im interested to see if i can develop a herbivore type on purpose, i feel like it should be easy enough to attempt but i have no clue if it will properly work or how it will compare to my accidentally developed types.

[terminalisms]

caved so quick to the 2nd muse impulse o mein gott......throwing sejoon into the mix with another minimal stats page + round two of rambly character intros 😵‍💫 if u are interested in plotting just like this post or add me on discord!! (tip.toph) 🥰

tw! mentions of terminal illness, death of a parent

only son to 2 anomalies. plain jane working class background

in a past life, dad is still a top tier hardboiled detective who doesn't gotta think about the fact he has a wife and kid at home

in this one, mom is inconveniently out of the picture for......... [vague gestures] reasons and he has to hunker down into single father life fast. ends up opening a restaurant in order to be able to provide

but in spite of all of this his childhood isn't so bad! he and his dad are close despite obvious stark differences in personality, which can be summed up as naive softie vs cynical hardass. even if sejoon's too trusting ways has dad up at night wondering how the hell is this kid gonna survive on his own

also dad: [does the absolute most to keep him shielded and sheltered cause he's Seen Things and as a parent's bare minimum that means letting a kid being a kid. which means shoving things deep under a rug and the default response to any inkling of curiosity being "Don't worry about it"]

until sejoon's anomaly kicks in at 12-13 by making a patron's chair float on accident and his dad's like k. better late than never......

its a little (ok a lot) hard to coach sejoon through controlling his abilities considering dad's own anomaly is not anything remotely close to moving things w his mind (its memory manipulation btw for some hwang fam #trivia) and sejoon is like ): but this is so cool why shouldnt i wanna show it off......

their deeply anti-anomaly district with equally staunchly anti-anomaly neighbors, friends, politicians being a VERY good reason not to: (:

dad: wear this patch thingie. dont ask why just do what i say

(thank god for nullivi huh like seriously)

doesnt stop the bubble bursting with when people realize ur not "human" they treat u different but ykw.........the sun is still shining and the world is much much bigger than their humble slice of daegu for EVERYONE to be that way

sua's open for admissions just around the time sejoon's thinking about higher ed AND broadening his horizons. gets in on arts scholarship and off he goes

baby bird leaving the nest turns fish out of the water. college and seoul are a bit of an adjustment but exciting all the same. and he does thrive! gets involved in the sporting rallies, really developing his artistic vision, has a social life, and gets to be his #true self among fellow anomalies the whole enchilada

things only really go downhill in the last 6 months of his undergrad with 2 wrecking balls: a devastating breakup and (TW: ILLNESS, DEATH) his dad being diagnosed by stage iv lung cancer

its right after graduation that sejoon immediately falls off the face of the earth for 3 years to be his father's sole caretaker until his death (END OF TW) no one i mean no one knows what he was doing or where he is

but hes back now to do his mfa!! let the bella loca where the hell have u been-isms begin

vibe wise hes bright, social, easy to talk to but can also be kind of spacey eccentric and the ultimate pacifist. the type that makes u feel like u guys are sooo close but then when u reflect ur like actually idk if i really know much about him at all (which!! is not totally intentional he just makes for a better listener and is great at making conversation about what YOU have to say). these days that same can do energy is there but it doesnt feel the same if u look too close but its fine!!! everything is fine

plots that are marginally better than the first time around but not by much:

friends who were blindsided by him going mia without warning

friends who are gracious enough (or equally ??????? avoidant? weird even) to pick up where they left off like nothing happened in the first place

people who dont even know who he is so like none of the above for his sob story doesnt even really matter

this is really really limited to one (1) person but somebody who managed to run into him in the three years that he was laying low

will require extensive plotting but the ex......not necessarily endgame but i am in the mood for some bittersweet woulda shoulda coulda's, angst and answering the penultimate question of: why did we break up?

former teammates? i imagine he was part of house samjoko during undergrad

ur a stranger feeling nosy and ur ultimate mission is figuring out where hes been. he lets u speculate

u need someone to do ur graphics. can be contractual pro bono whatevah.......

im running out of steam here but i am open to it all please hmu

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

Thats why I would be so conflicted even if you think you could be xyz idols type its got to be so rare to genuinely meet them at the right time when they are in a non crowded environment and to not seem deluded either. I think you cannot force these thing if it dont happen it dont meant to be, but san situation seem really sad and tbh you shouldnt need 100s of others to feel happy in life but he got something going for him with his talents and that all that matters in the long run, if he do or dont date as we cant go around playing cupid so it shouldnt matter.

These idol groups get so popular that they reallt just have to either embrace it or accept it some way or other they simply not going to be seen nor treated as a normal being yet that doesnt mean they cant find genuine romance in their life. Nothing is impossible. Plus it not like it got to happen right this moment it could be next year he meet his fs or year after.

I would genuinely love san more than his money or name or image yet I realise I do not fit into that lifestyle of his thats why most their fs are probs already rich and famous, good for them yaknow. A lot of ppl still dont get the ins and outs of all that goes on again I would give san all my love and support... if I knew there werent going to be crazy knetz or dispatch or kq preventing it from going public in a healthy way. In fact with social media being this crazy I dont know why they would want it to be so public in the first place yet privacy will be rare for them and bts and many other group.

There still has to be more to life than fame and money. Anyway these just my observations! I wish more celebs could be like cillian murphey he perfect example imho of celeb who can still be in public but he have and keep private not everything has to be online for parasocial relationship, he just going about his life without needing to be kept up to date bruh didnt even know he was a meme.

Older idols said smth interesting how they had more rest time and less social media so they could solely focus on one task at hand yet puts into perspective how reliant society has become on a made up online world. I dont think internet fame is a legit thing its just something thats been made up. now every other person and their granny is an internet star so its hard to not want to fall into the trap of being constantly online even if u only use one platform like tumblr theres too many rabbit holes to go down. that includes kpop idols and their fs. we all need to yeet ourselves into space or something to get real break from constantly being connected online yet disconnected from ourselves.

I think if there were less online celebs then it would eventually inspire others to be less online but as most celebs are still online it only encourages all the wrong behaviour of their fans, or an overattachment to them, even if they do date in private, ppl still going to poke and dig or be a nosy mf or want to be their idols fs and so on. it never ending cycle. Yet I too find myself getting so interested in someone elses personal life bc it seem the current thing to be doing yaknow it a literal trend.

sorry for my long ramble.

I know it’s near impossible to meet an idol unless you have connections and even then it’s hard not to seem like a weirdo. But that’s also something that’s not new? Celebrities are kind of like our modern day aristocracy. Beneath the people elected to rule, yet wealthy enough to have immense sway. And you couldn’t just meet aristocracy.

And it’s not really about wanting it to be public. It’s about the fact that people are insane nowadays and need to calm tf down.

And it makes sense celebrities would be with other people who are rich and famous. There’s a lesser likelihood of being used, you’re at a similar place in life so there’s little power imbalance, you can relate to one another, you know they can keep up with your lifestyle, and they’ll understand certain things the average person can’t understand.

Again, celebrities are like modern day aristocracy, and you know for a fact aristocrats always married other aristocrats.

And while I think kpop idols should definitely distance themselves more from online platforms, I also understand why they don’t.

They can talk to fans, connect with them, promote music, etc. many groups wouldn’t have a lick of fame if they weren’t on the internet, or they’d be below nugu nugu groups. And I can admit that.

Social media has also helped with the spread of KPOP to the west, showing them to broader audiences. Nowadays, social media is important to an idol’s career

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

i feel like a pretty universal cultural pollutant is that we use the idea of "its bad" for so many things as a replacement for a reason why you shouldnt do something, and thus in a lot of circumstances most people who strongly dislike something/believe something should remain a taboo believe so because its bad. and if you asked why they genuinely wouldn't have an answer. but things that actually are bad have reasons for why theyre bad, and things that aren't bad have reasons you're told they're bad, and understanding the way different viewpoints make different statements make more or less sense will give you a more satisfying and useful understanding of the world. taboos aren't a force for good, they're a force for normativity.

if someone says "you just think thats bad because its culturally instilled, but you wouldn't think that way if you asked yourself why its bad" the taught response is to say "thats the kind of thing you say when you're trying to put me in danger, so i won't think about it, and i might even get scared about the idea of thinking about it just to be safe." but that response doesnt help you. thinking about something and examining the information available to you isnt bad for you, and if the thing actually is bad then thinking about it will still lead you to the conclusion that it's bad. understanding someone else's viewpoint doesn't automatically brainwash you into believing it <- this part is especially difficult

its self-reinforcing and hinges on the uncertainty of what happens after you do choose to discard the self-terminating emotional response to taboo, and assuring you that it's so scary you never want to find out. so the solution is just to expose you to proof of what happens, right? normalize the experience of listening to viewpoints you find unacceptable without invoking the fear response at the same time and build a tolerance for seeing scary things with your thinking mind and not your instinctual fearing mind.

i think this is difficult firstly because it's basically universally unpopular to reject taboo, because this is associated with unconditionally accepting that taboo; asking "hey what actually IS the difference between bestiality and artificially inseminating a cow" implies that because you thought about it long enough to ask questions you probably want to fuck dogs, and not just that you think it's weird that nobody has a good answer; maybe more common & relevant is wanting to investigate the thought process of a conservative or fascist being seen as equivalent to being open to being converted to a fascist. and like, usually people who embrace something that's a taboo do reject its position as a taboo, so it's partially reasonable, but i think it's inappropriate to think that proves the opposite relationship is equally true. (and of course, also, to think that someone embracing a taboo=proof they're bad=proof that the taboo is bad)

i think the other big thing is that a lot of the time people dont have access to information that gives them the ability to form an opinion in the first place, and sometimes that information isn't available, or doesn't seem like it would be available, and so the reasonable fallback is "everyone who holds views i find completely rational also think this, so disagreeing without good reason is not likely to help me." and like i think this is generally a good instinct to keep. if people were equipped with enough information and the skill to use it they just wouldn't need it. i think this is maybe the missing link behind "i was never taught how to find out if something is true so people on the internet have to spoonfeed me" because a lot of schools do teach media literacy and the importance of knowing how to be credulous and find and vet your own information, but when thats taught parallel with rotely instilling the right things to know and the right sources to believe as decided by authority figures and with no justification, the subconscious conclusion is pretty clearly "they're teaching me bullshit" and potentially "they're teaching me things that are clearly false because the school system wants me to forget how to use my instincts so that they can make me think how they want me to think, even when it's bullshit". i think people who insist on relying on other people to tell them things often actually are frustrated at how difficult it is to find real unbiased information, and how other people seem to not have that problem, and i think if you made that knowledge accessible and unintimidating a lot of people would take their own initiative to internalize and apply it. like i totally understand the lmgtfy response but i think if more everyday information were given as "this is a source i believe is accurate and i believe this because:" it would sink in better than like, explanations on the theory of how to spot bias minus connection to current topics of interest, or individual snopes links, or whatever. i also think the average americans precarious sense of pride and shame is a barrier to self improvement and giving help as a free addition to conversation goes down easier than help for the sake of help. because when you're constantly looking for it it's easy to read into helpfulness as an assertion of personal deficiency. ok bye