#it never feels drastic you won't even notice until you do and then once you do it hits you all at once...

[olasketches]

reading the first volume of hxh and it's like... you really can't help but notice that, despite all his bright smiles and soft nature, there's something off about gon. not in a creepy way tho but rather "oh kid... are you ok?" type of way.

[yanderehsr]

How would yandere Childe, blade, zhongli and Jingyuan punish their darling who repeatedly tried to escape and succeeded once?

Poor little Y/N😔

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapped reader, Violence

Childe: While yes, he does live for the thrill of a good fight and a good chase, he doesn't want that with you. He's wants a domestic life with you where both of you can live happy, the only problem is that he gets jealous easely and chose to kidnap you.

So believe me when I say that Childe does not enjoy having to catch you, when he noticed that you actually managed to escape, he couldn't have ran faster, he never stops running until he sees you again, no matter how many he needs to kill and no matter how many villages is set on fire, he will find you. And when he does he will hug you and apologize.

Why is Childe apologizing? He is just sad that he had to break both of your legs, he didn't want to but he can't have you leaving him again.

"I'm sorry, but this was the best solution, now let me carry you home"

Blade: Oh he is pissed, you are his and you attempt to escape, he can't have that now can he. Just attempted escape is already punished quite harshly with starvation and if you succeeded in escaping then he might have to do something drastic.

It won't take Blade long to hunt you down and when he does catch you he will drag you back home, he will make sure that you can't ever run away again. He is sure you will look just as lovely without your legs.

"Just as I thought, even without them you look just as lovely, now have you learned your lesson"

Zhongli: He gets why you would try to run and he is calm every time, you are not in a relationship and because of his greed he took you, so he doesn't punish you really, that was until he came home to find that you were gone, not trying to escape but gone.

Zhongli may have never panicked as much as he is now, he is out of the door and searching every corner of Liyue until he gets you back and when he does he is as forgiving as always, well he may have chained you down this time, you can never be too cautious.

"I know that you don't like me, but I am sure you will find life much better if you did"

Jing Yuan: Oh how cute you are when you try and run away, as long as you don't succeed he won't punish you, he just finds it adorable, but if you actually escaped, well that is a different story.

There is nowhere you can run from Jing Yuan, it would be a miracle if you even get away from the Luofu, so you can be sure that he will get you back, his punishment is simple. He will place you in a closet, somewhere small where you will feel claustrophobic, you will not be allowed any outside contact not even from Jing Yuan.

And when he can hear you crying, begging to be let out, that you will never try again and that you will accept all his affections, only then will he let you out.

"I am so glad that you won't try again, now how about a hug, I have missed having you in my arms"

[istoleyoursk1n]

How would the boys react to gn touch starved Tav who always asks for his permission before doing anything? They would respect his boundaries if he said no!

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

How would the boys react to a touch-starved Tav?

.

.

: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

“I’m… not quite sure what this is, but it's lovely isn't it? Who knew something as sweetly sickening as intertwined fingers was… just enough if not perfect for me. Thank you, darling.”

He hardly even noticed how touch-starved you were at first. He was far used to people leaning into his touch and whatnot, he even considered himself to be quite the addictive drug.

He’s been ‘touched’ for so long that at this point your cravings for said touch went over his head.

He was perfectly capable of masking himself once more in favor of doing whatever it is you wish, he had initially assumed you wanted what most asked from him.

He was pleasantly surprised when he realized the type of intimacy you craved went beyond just simple carnal pleasures. A soft embrace, a gentle hand in hand, basic gestures he never once had the time to relish.

Little by little his own walls had started to fall in favor of this newly found intimacy that he finds himself adoring. He is more than willing to satiate all your touch-filled cravings if he gets to feel this sudden twinkling joy.

I doubt he would be the one initiating such a gentle form of intimacy just yet but he would be more than happy to provide if you ever ask.

One way or another, he finds himself far happier when you're locked in each other’s arms. A win/win overall seeing as you get to receive all the soft physical intimacy you've longed for and Astarion gets to learn the tenderness that can come with this particular type of intimacy.

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

“Hm. Pardon me if I come across as a tad bit strong... But I find myself wanting to keep you close. To hold you through darkened nights in blissful peace, it won't be better than any dream I could ever conjure… of course, that is if you’ll have me.”

It did take him a while to pick up on how touch-starved you truly were. All he truly gave you at first was a friendly pat on the shoulder but he was more so waiting until you were comfortable enough for more.

He wouldn't outright ask if you were touch starved, but you’d find him often asking you for permission to give you a quick little hug or a playful high five. Anything that could stimulate you really.

He’d ease you into it, not wanting to cross a boundary or overwhelm you with physical affection, especially since the mission ahead should have been top priority.

Regardless, he sits next to you whenever he can, always making sure that he's allowed to do so but otherwise, he's quite comfortable being near you and he hopes you feel the same.

It won't take long for him to slowly make his way into gentle caresses such as wistful kisses against the back of your palm. Nothing too drastic yet, but he's definitely being far more intimate in where he chooses to hold you.

Though, one of his favorite things to do with you is lead you into a peaceful waltz. It would be underneath the brilliant glow of the moonlight, with either you or him leading the sentimental little dance.

Nevertheless, a touch from Wyll will always be one filled with unspoken declarations of love, a love so delicate and sweet that he had only reserved for you.

: ̗̀➛ GALE

“I could list down a thousand reasons as to why I’ve grown to be undoubtedly entranced by your every touch, and a thousand more as to why not a single part of you would ever go unloved again.”

‘You too?’

He’s lived in a tower all by himself for an incredibly long time, he gets it.

Though I doubt he’d notice your own touch-starved needs just yet, especially if you're shy about it. He’s keeping his hands to himself out of respect for you so not much touching would occur.

Going beyond just small talk and the occasional banter with you has crossed his mind multiple times, but he doesn't quite know how to express such a thing without completely humiliating himself.

He wanted to ensure that you carry somewhat of an interest in him before he flat-out decides to ask to hold your hand.

Or he’d be plain sneaky and ever so carefully guide your hands and body every time he teaches you a new magic trick. Of course, it would be with your permission, but these moments would be completely ingrained in his mind for a long time.

He’s practically been craving to be close to you as much as you’ve been craving to be touched. Discovering how touch-starved you are is only something that draws him closer to you.

Suddenly he’s off giving you the faintest of kisses, allowing his touches to linger longer than usual till he’s finally got you in his arms.

Now you both can't seem to stop clinging to one another at any given chance. Both of you have been touch-starved because of your own reasons but at least you have each other now.

One thing is for sure, the wizard of Waterdeep has fallen completely for you, cherishing every touch he receives from you and happily giving the same gentle caresses right back.

: ̗̀➛ HALSIN

“The fact that a body as stunning as yours has gone untouched for so long bewilders me. You are deserving of every caress, every embrace, and every sweet kiss I could possibly give to someone whose beauty rivals the prettiest of flowers.”

Give him a moment but he could have probably sensed how touch-starved you must be. By the way, you come just a bit closer than usual or allow your own touches to stay far more than normal.

But he wouldn't like to assume so quickly, he might have been reading it all wrong in the end.

He's already had a hard time keeping his hands to himself in your presence but for you? He’d be as respectful as he possibly can. He’d never do anything without your consent.

Though his bated breath and his drumming heart were a tad bit too obvious to conceal. He was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, a heart he was more than willing to give to you.

He was a bit shaken when he was finally allowed to touch you as if he’d be aching for you for days (he has).

He tries his hardest to be as gentle as he possibly can, but he's hesitant to even let go of you now that you’re finally in his grasp.

You feel warm in his hands, a warmth he wants to keep close for as long as possible. He's utterly enamored by you and is completely transfixed to touching every part of you.

There's not an inch of you that hasn't been grazed by his calloused hands, and yet he always seems to never tire from having you.

Being with you is a precious delight he had never expected to receive, and the fact that your touch starved only fuels his need to be near you.

A little sweet bonus from Halsin is that his fuzzy bear form would be enough to engulf you during those cold nights, covering you with his warmth and having you snuggle close to him as much as you want!

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

[ddarker-dreams]

mini love report — giorno giovanna

relationship health diagnosis — 80%*

symptom one — intuitive

giorno's uncanny ability to read others got him far in life. it's a skill so interwoven into his being that it's as involuntary as breathing. from the instant he laid eyes on you, he started work on a mental profile. depending on what he wants, he'll make slight adjustments to how he interacts with you. he's hyper-aware of your likes and dislikes at all times. fortunately for you, his intentions aren't malevolent. the adjustments aren't drastic but you'd probably find it weird if you ever learned about this (you won't).

this information goes to ensuring you're comfortable around him. he finds intimacy a vulnerable, fragile thing that must be handled with care. you can feel the quiet intensity of his gaze most toward the start of your relationship, although it never goes away. he's searching for any sign of discomfort or unspoken cues to continue.

eventually, he'll come to trust that you'll voice misgivings if you have any and that he can ease up.

symptom two — resolute

once this man sets his mind on something, there's no stopping him. this staunch determination can be good, bad, or a discordant mix of the two. what differentiates him from other ambitious individuals is his patience and opportunism. he'll pursue you for years if need be. giorno doesn't want to conquer your heart, no, he longs to be worthy of having it. after all, if you've caught his attention, you must be special.

challenges may arise when 'determined' shifts to 'obstinate.' regardless of how opposed you are in a disagreement, he never disregards your perspective. the lone exception is when your safety is involved. should he believe you doing something imposes a risk, it's like trying to convince a brick wall. he'll still hear you out but you both know his mind is made up. he won't relent until you capitulate. he's methodical in dissuasion; never raising his voice or condescending you. he's well-mannered and considerate as ever.

you come around to his side faster than you'd care to admit.

symptom three — respectful yet sly

while mindful of your boundaries (thanks papa jonathan), giorno knows what mischief he can get away with (sorta thanks papa dio). for a man who has garnered the fearsome reputation he has, he's surprisingly impish. he'll quietly fluster you before getting your picture taken together, so that he can capture your expression forever. at dinners with important figures, when the conversation gets painfully boring, his hand will brush over your thigh beneath the table. he acts confused by your admonishment as if he hadn't instigated it.

occasionally, when thinking back on interactions from your teenage yours, you experience an epiphany. what you thought to be an innocent comment had flirtatious undertones! if you bring this up to him, he'll smile softly and say he's 'glad you finally noticed, even if it took a while...'

primary area of concern

he's what you might call 'morally flexible.' there are some lines he'll never cross — promoting illicit substances or harming children are the premier examples — yet he's still a mafioso. as the don of passione, he regularly engages in dubious practices. should you ever ask about his undertakings, he's honest up to a point. he knows how to make unpleasant subjects palatable. the thought of regularly lying to you makes his stomach churn.

giorno settles for misdirection and obfuscation. it's so subtle, so well done that you'll likely remain none the wiser. he masterfully steers you away from topics you're better off not knowing (in his view). he admits to lesser wrongdoings to satiate your curiosity.

no matter how he spins it to himself, however, this is still lying. it's just a fancy, roundabout version.

prognosis

giorno may have this debonair flair to him, yet beneath the polish sits a lonely heart. he's worried he'll accidentally spoil your relationship (especially if you're close friends before he confesses), or otherwise bring some harm upon you. he wouldn't ever be able to forgive himself. you're someone he can be himself around. the charm he always exudes changes shape in your presence. he's a bit less smooth, more prone to blushing and fidgeting. he's just really good at hiding it.

he'll be a steadfast partner (and hopefully husband) come hell or high water. he's gentle and kind in a way no one beside you can illicit. you make him want to be better so that he's never at risk of losing you.

*the universe has tried (and failed) to wrench you apart (0-20) your friends are praying that you'll break up (21-40) 'well it could/has be worse' bargaining mindset (41-60) a lil messiness as a treat (61-80) pure and wholesome (81-100)

[showstopper35]

I do not know if you are taking requests, if you aren’t then feel free to ignore. But I was wondering, if you are of course, if I could have Con x Reader headcanons where the reader has really bad anxiety? But like tries to play it off as not that bad as they are visible freaking out?

I hope that is okay and thank-you in advance!

No problem! Sorry for the wait! And also sorry I didn't do all the cons!

Starscream

-He knows a thing or two about repressing emotions...he mostly just gives you a lot of space. If you want to talk about it, he will listen quietly. Maybe give you a few words about how its okay to not be okay, and that you can allow yourself to feel things in front of him, or just let it out when you feel safe alone. If you don't want to talk about it, he will pretend to believe your "I'm fine" routine until you come clean.

Megatron

-You're fine, you say? Good. All his soldiers must be fine. So what if your hands are shaking? Maybe you aren't fine after all. But you have to tell him that first, or otherwise let your anxiety so badly affect your performance in whatever your daily tasks are that he notices. Then he won't say anything, but he might let you take a break. Just until you can go back to serving him, of course.

Soundwave

-You don't even need to pretend to be okay. He knows. He's probably tracking your heartbeat or something. The shaky hands, the trembling voice...the anxiety is definitely bad. Well, when he gets nervous (which is never, because the security chief of the Nemesis could never be nervous, right?), he usually would play with his minicons. Don't be concerned when Laserbeak starts flying at you--he's just here to help. Laserbeak never leaves your side until Soundwave has decided you've calmed down enough.

Knockout

-Don't worry, darling, he is definitely the first one to know you're faking it. After all, he puts on his dramatic act every day. One glance at you and all his medic training kicks in and identifies the symptoms of an anxiety attack. Expect to be escorted into a quiet room while he orders everyone else away from you for "medical reasons". Once you are calmer, he sips energon with you and just does his best to distract you with all the random stuff he has to say, even if he mostly talks about himself.

Breakdown

-If we're being honest, he is not the smartest. It would probably take something as drastic as you breaking down into tears to realize that you're panicking. Even so, he does realize that something is off. He might be kinder to you, or offer to aid you in any of your assignments. He just keeps you company.

Shockwave

-Shockwave would notice that you aren't exactly acting as your usual self. After a while around you, he would come to the conclusion that you are highly anxious. He notices everything, yes, but he wouldn't say much. Maybe he just leaves you alone. He isn't sure if this is his problem. If you did voice your anxiety to him, he would probably recommend some weird medicine he cooked up. Maybe it's best to just avoid him about this issue.

[kali-chaotic-neutral]

What you need to hear right now

Pick an outfit aesthetic and get called out by my Tarot decks

Light Academia Preppy Fairycore Coquette

Disclaimer: This tarot reading is not meant for you to make drastic choices or actions. Take this with a pinch of salt, this is just me giving advice with my sassy decks. Take the advice you want, anything that doesn't resonate, leave it.

My decks are taking turns calling you out on your bullshit, because sometimes delulu is NOT the solulu.

Light Academia:

What is your relationship with money? No, seriously. You're saving and saving money and not using it. And that's good. But there's a thin line between being frugal/not wasting your money and willingly hoarding. The former is being more smart and saving up to benefit you in the future, but the latter comes more from anxiety and fear. You don't want to buy things or spend some money in fear of loosing everything. Hoarding and having this paranoia over money will end up in you loosing it all as the universe will see you unhappy over the money you have that it will take it back and not give it. Not because you don't deserve it, but because the universe thinks that this wealth and money that you're hoarding is putting you in a bad place and it doesn't want that.

Why are you so nervous and hesitant to reveal your projects? It could be a book you're writing, poems, art, anything. Your fear of failure and eventually not letting others see your work will lead to what you fear. Failing. I was there in that place, darling. I feared people would judge me because of what I wrote, how I wrote. Then I showed a couple of my friends and teachers and they LOVED IT! People might not like it, but that doesn't they'll hate it. You'll never you know until you try.

How long are you going to hold onto the fear of failure or maybe years ago when you did fail in something that caused that fear? How long are you going to let the past drag you down? Hold you back from being the writer, the poet, the artist that you are!? The fear will always be there, but would you rather be in a a perpetual state of fear and anxiety or be someone that doesn't have regrets. Because there will be if you hold yourself back like this. Oh, why did I not just enter that poetry contest? Why did I not just show my art to others? Why did I not... Why didn't I... Regrets. Do you want a future full of regrets? No? Change.

You have a habit of being a big talker. Oh, I'll publish my book when I 'm 25. Oh, I'll go to the best art college. Oh this and that and that. But do you work hard to achieve those? I'm a big talker too, I had troubles working up as well. My 11th grade AS Level exams were a wake up call for me. I've passed and am on my way to a good college in a few months. Work hard and smart, don't keep flapping your gums dreaming big. It won't come true unless you work hard enough for it. You're also focusing too hard in perfecting your work to your detriment. Trying to perfect things almost always lead to it being even worse than before. Leave your projects as they are and let someone else, someone you trust look at it. Let them give you input and comments on your work, take those comments as ways to make your work better. Not as flaws they notices.

Once you fix all this shit up, work on yourself and your fears, fast change and movement will come. Maybe you'll finally get into that art college or college. Maybe you'll get that scholarship. But good change is coming. Don't read this and go: oh, good change is coming, I'll just relax a bit—NO!! If you do this the change will be for the worse. The universe will be sending you lessons after lessons if you slack off. Not until you're well off and in that dream house and job.

Slack off and my cards can see bad luck coming, you might lose people in your life due to conflict. Nothing good. There will be family issues that will need your attention, maybe someone is sick or just not feeling well mentally. If you actually work hard, I can see you becoming emotionally mature, and a good and loving figure to yourself and others.

Preppy:

Why are you putting more on your plate than you can eat? Why are you willingly allowing your workload to get heavier and heavier? You're overworked, on the brink of a burn out and yet you're here panicking and loosing sleep over the burden of projects and work you've put upon yourself. Put the other projects aside, do the most important one. And now, I know there is one project that is more important than the others. Evaluate the significance of the work you're doing and do the most important ones. One by one. Don't multitask darling. And stop overburdening yourself. You're letting obstacles get in the way and thus loosing discipline over yourself and loosing sight of your real goal. Take back the reins and steady yourself, focus on the path you want to take and go there.

Due to doing the exact amount of work you're supposed to be, you're able to solely focus on your projects. Cultivating it and making it better and successful. And I can see this as a time of celebration. BUT. Don't let it get to your head. Because if you do and you get cocky, fortune will not favor you. When things go downhill for you, learn from your mistakes and ensure it doesn't happen again.

You're not letting change take place. You're refusing to let this chapter of your life end, because you're afraid what the next chapter holds. LET GO!! Stop trying to extend the pages of this chapter. IT"S OVER. The more you resist, the more the situation will drag and drag. Universe has your back no matter how stubborn you are.

You're doubting yourself. This is impeding you being able to fulfil your highest potential and be your best self. Take a small break from whatever you're doing. Reflect, self evaluate. I've recently begun doing shadow work every night before bed, 3 questions max (you can find on Pinterest) and I do a gratitude journal every morning when I wake up (bullet list of what I'm grateful for). Limit and stop your inner critic, because you become what you think. If someone grows up being called an idiot they'll always think they're an idiot. It won't matter if a few teachers of peers say they're surprisingly smart. Change your mindset, be kinder to yourself. It isn't easy. But you'll get there.

If you continuously drag the past and your insecurities with you, it will lead to more stressful situations, more sadness, failure, a place where you'll be forced to choose. if you don't let these drag you down, you will become the highest version of yourself and someone who is successful and confident and powerful.

Fairycore:

You're not listening to your intuition, or your inner voice. Your intuition is important and should be heard. Maybe you're ignoring red flags in a person, or a situation. You're not listening to yourself and that is not good. You're not facing your inner world or your inner truth. Not wanting to accept or listen, not sure. But it isn't going to do you any good. Withdrawing from your inner world will lead to disbalance. Turn towards your inner self, take care of it. Focus on which part of your life is being unattended, care for it.

You're trying too hard to fit in with the crowd. Going along with the trends, doing what everyone else does, and nothing is wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with going with the flow and doing what is familiar to you, just don't put too much effort into it. Like you know the long line for Stanley Cups? (I think that's what they're called) Like don't be that desperate and plain like the others.

There will be burdens on your mind/mental health due to neglecting your inner voice and thoughts. You will end up bursting and exploding one day and it will lead to guilt and embarrassment. This will lead to you withdrawing within yourself, not wanting to go out. You'll feel tempted to give up and withdraw into yourself. Don't. Plan strategically, be aware of people around you that may not have your best interests at heart. Don't trust blindly, listen to your intuition and gut feeling. Listen and plan.

Once you begin strategically and logically planning, you will be successful (financially) and there will be better relationships in your life (platonic, romantic, etc.) You life will be more harmonious and calm and pleasant and once you've dealt with the people who don't have your best interest at heart, new better friendships will come. SO DON"T GIVE UP B*TCH!!!

Coquette:

You're frustrated because an idea for a project that you have, is not really having the breakthrough that you hoped it would. You're exasperated, tired and annoyed. I would be too. But it won't get better the more annoyed you get. Go back to the planning books/board and read over what you had planned. Proofread it, cut out a few things, add a few things, change a few things. Don't let frustration get to you here. It happens to all of us. The project simply needs a tweak. You're ambition has lead you to rush with this project, that's why it's not going the way you want it to. You've rushed the planning, so the project will be that way. Unsatisfactory. Don't rush headlong into these things, take time to prepare and plan the foundations of the project. It's almost like you're trying to grow up fast. And that's not good. Don't rush the process. Enjoy your life as it is now, before adulthood comes with its imposing responsibilities and expectations. Otherwise you'll live a life looking back into your childhood with regrets.

Because of this regret or stress from jumping into things rashly, it could lead to unhealthy addictions. You falling into darker thoughts. This could lead to times of confusion, where you're lying to yourself. Being delulu and trying to convince yourself it's not that bad. Change. Don't let your delusions get ahold of you, take a break from what you're doing and re-evaluate your work. Once re-evaluated and proper change brought, I can see you getting everything you've ever tried manifesting.

there could be a male figure (either a partner/brother or friend) will be a great help to you in financial matters. Maybe even a beginning of a romance if it is a friend and if it is a partner, maybe your love life will take a next step. ONLY if you work on the issues I've stated

[yourlocalsmutslut]

The high

warnings: weed, swearing, a bit of smut

wc: 502

a/n: this is my first time writing so bear with me if it's absolute shit.

You walk into the room and instantly smell weed. Before every show Louis would light a joint to calm his nerves, so this wasn't irregular. The only thing different about this time is that you were horny. You've been wanting to make a move on Louis for a while now, but haven't had the confidence. So, you go in and sit on the couch with Louis. He hands you the joint, which you usually don't accept; but this time you did. Shock on his face rises. "didn't expect you to take it," Louis calmly says. You lightly chuckle. "guess I just needed a hit this time". There's a little pause before you say, "But don't expect me to do it again. I'm mature, unlike you,""Oh, now you wanna get feisty I see" Louis says jokingly. You both chuckle a little bit.

As you both continue to finish the joint, your confidence spikes drastically. You turn your head to look at Louis, his beauty is breathtaking. Suddenly you start moving. Slowly wrapping your legs around his hips; straddling him. Confusion in his eyes, yet he doesn't stop you. You take the joint and suck in.  His eyes glued to you. Eye contact makes you even more aroused. fuck it. And with that, you kiss him. Finally feeling his lips on yours. The kiss everything you've ever imagined. Louis then slips his tongue into your mouth making you moan against him. Your hands rising to his hair and tugging at his strands. He groans, liking the feeling. As you both pull away, the smoke transfers into his mouth. Then Louis slowly blows the smoke into your face, teasing you. god he's hot. All of a sudden there's a knock on the door. Both of us jump as you quickly get off of him. The door opens and it's Niall. "We're on in five", Niall says. "Okay", Louis says, trying to stay calm. We all sit there for a brief moment until Niall says, "Meaning get your asses off the couch and let's go", "fuck off" Louis states as we both listen and get up from the couch. While you're walking out you notice that Louis is hard. He's trying his best to hide it but you can clearly see it.

The loud screams of fans await us. Usually your nerves start to build right now, but the weed in your system is making the nerves never even appear for a moment. You all walk on stage, and the fans scream even louder, which you didn't even know was possible.

As Harry starts singing his solo part, Louis walks over to you. You make intense eye contact, 

as you notice a smirk on his face. Once he reaches you, he leans in and whispers, "As soon as this show is done, I'm going to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk." Your legs are shaking from just hearing his words. For the rest of the show you're antsy and aroused.

[sodabranch]

Halo, back with just one idea, but man am I excited to share it right now!

A continuation on the concept of Justice and the employee finding themselves to be the last alive, of their crew. Justice, by now, would do more than anything to keep this one from dying! However, if they kept on doing more Company work, they're doomed eventually.

But then Justice gets an idea. It's a mad one, but how could one get out of this situation without drastic measures? Like I mentioned before, there are moons out there one could surely scavenge ingredients from (and the food scrap meant to go to the Company), there's now more ship rations for the single employee, meat could be gathered from certain entities, Justice is still great at protecting a lone employee from entities, and humans have lived in these places before! Could it happen again?

Perhaps the employee feels hopeless; just wait for the Company to eject them, and try to enjoy all the time left in the ship. But they notice Justice is acting more determined than before, as it dutifully types commands into the terminal. There's a certain place in mind, which may not be the first choice for a human considering this, but its familiarity with the moon will be an essential asset.

The employee looks off to see the screen to the side has changed, as Justice begins packing up as many important items from around the ship as possible. It set a course for 7-Dine? Did it decide it wanted to go back home?

It's going back to Dine, alright, but it's never going back to loneliness. The employee finally gets the memo, realising why Justice is escorting them out of the ship with all their belongings with them, following the lights to the old mansion. Maybe it won't be so bad, once Justice picks a decent place to serve as the bedroom and they settle in. Preferably one close to the exit, for an easy evacuation. Maybe it can find a way to reason with the other nutcrackers, so they stay away. And maybe it can finally have an excuse to use that stove in the kitchen...

Later, the ship leaves, without any trace of the crew inside.

(You could write a whole fanfic on this idea, really. I don't have that type of motivation, unfortunately.)

(Alt version: you implement the "OOPS, all nutcrackers!" idea, and now you have to deal with dozens of unique nutcracker roommates.)

~ Halo

Oooo I wanted to answer this yesterday but I am just recovering from the strongest fucking fever;;;; i like,, saw this and exploded because WOAh

So you want a whole fanfic? I'll give you a small writing:

First, Everything you said is so real,, I can imagine Justice suddenly jolting off the ground, waking up the groggy employee in the process, and instantly beelining for the terminal.

It is determined to keep this human safe, even with all the odds against them. So in the midst of this sudden newfound vigor, Justice types the letters on the keyboard just as its crew taught it to,,, and with the rumble of the engines changing course they are now heading towards 7-Dine,, a familiar scenery being a welcome change from all this uncertainty.

So having stored all the equipment and food it could get its hands on, Justice took the employee's hand and bolted off the ship, leaving all their memories behind.

The sudden change in atmosphere shocking the crewmate, of course, the cheaply made company uniforms are not suited for extreme temperatures, and there was currently a major snowstorm going on. So with expertise, Justice stared to quicken up the pace, seeing the entrance appear through the fog.

It was calm inside, but you really couldn't be sure. Justice insisting on them going in front to be able to protect them better from incoming danger, practically escorting them now, rifle ready in hand.

... They continued walking for a while until they reached one of the many rooms in the mansion,, suddenly stopping in front of a door, which looked just like every other one, but to Justice this was a special one. So with a turn of a key it pulled out of its hat, Justice pushed open the door, revealing a (surprisingly) well mantained bedroom inside.

The first thing they noticed was the thin layer of dust covering most of the surfaces, the atmosphere felt thick from many years of it being abandoned. But really, did they have any other option? Compared to the ship's stiff bunk beds this was a blessing,, If that could even be called a bedroom.

So without futher ado, the employee chucks themselves in the bed that awaits in the middle of the room, raising a cloud of dust in the process. They could swear they just saw Justice physically recoil from the corner of their eye, who is visibly working hard to supress the urge to clean this whole place up.

Instead, it just chooses to sit besides the tired employee,, holding their hand. This small gesture making it feel a warmth it hasn't felt in a million years before.

-- Now I kinda got tired already (nini time soon...) but I promise one day I'll actually write something for you<3<3

Now some ideas I had nyehehe:

Justice having to lock the employee in the room at the start; not because it doesn't trust them, but because it doesn't trust the creatures in the mansion :( it has already lost three of its friends,, it needs to protect this one

If they get out, they need to be EXTREMELY careful, always checking around the corners and all... Justice being uncharacteristically paranoid

Alsooo the kitchen omggg!!! kinda off-topic but having like 12 years of experience as a baker I can just tell you which recipes are its favourite aaa :333!!! <- nerd

ALSO I draw this yesterday while pondering this ask:::

The employee having to hide wearing a mask;; Justice made for them,, because that's the only way it would let them out of the room ALSO I JUST DID THIS BECAUSE I LOVE JUSTICE HAND HOLDING lmaoo (I thought of it like,, maybe the entities would confuse it for a masked?? ofc the smell is still human, but there should be a way to kinda hide it..)

(I need to make this guy an oc or something OUGHH)

THIS IS KINDA ALL I HAVE FOR NOW? INM SORRY I caught a serious illness and have to rest full-time Just used all my brain juice for tonight butt i hope you like it waaaaa<3<3

[iwonderwh0]

Explore that body without humanization filters and tell the one inside, it doesn't change a thing.

Except it does

Up until this moment you've been holding them to human standards, interpreted their behaviour without taking into account the simple fact that their life experience is drastically different from your own, or, for that matter, anyone else you know. You've known them for a fraction of your life, but they've known you for the majority of theirs. You spent years learning something they knew for the entirety of their short existence, without having to learn it, without even having to use it once. How many words they'd never once spoken but know regardless? How many skills they never had a chance to apply in spite of being able to? Do they feel any kind of amusement about doing something for the first time, perfectly? Any thrill?

Their body have seams, it had been designed and manufactured, each part separately from the rest. Their body had existed before there was even a person inside. It will exist after – that much you have in common.

You see their eyes moving, watching you. Do they see more colours than you? Less? They can change aperture of the cameras behind, on command, manually dilating their pupil. Sometimes they get so involved in watching something, they forget to blink, only getting reminded of it as you blink yourself in their sight. It's something you noticed about them. They won't yawn if you yawn around them, but if you look at them and blink, they blink back. Unless they're mad at you. Do they blink when there's no one watching? You don't ask, unsure if the question would upset them. It might.

[glorified-red]

okay here’s a request! How about headcanons the bat boys reacting to you flinching at their touch. Reader and said character are not together , but they are close. hope you like the hurt/comfort 🤗

Thank you so much for this request! I am a hoe for hurt/comfort, you know me too well.

Flinching at the BatBoys

word count: 1,020~

warnings: none

I got my first tattoo! I also cleaned tf out of my room so now I have a very clean desk for writing.

Dick Grayson

Dick was excitedly telling a story, the climax of it built with his voice

The loudness of his tone put you on edge especially as his hands started to enunciate his storytelling

One fast paced swipe and you flinched back from him

Dick's hands immediately froze in the air as his eyes watched your body slowly relax

He'd pause and slowly drop his hands to his sides, his brain trying to come up with something to say

"You know I'd never hurt you . . . right?"

He'd speak the words slowly, a softer tone drastically different than the one he was using before

Dick relies on physical touch a lot but he'd hesitate in this moment

It's up to you if the conversation ends there with a soft "yes" or if you want to explain

Either way, Dick will listen and the second you're ready, he'll open his arms for you to fall into

He'd put his hand on top of your head and softly kiss your forehead, he'd talk into your hair until your body relax completely into him

"You'll always be safe with me, you know that right?"

You'd nod into his chest and pretend to not feel Dick let out a sigh of relief

Dick is very patient and forgiving of any time you flinch, he knows its habitual but he'll always be there to smooth out any anxiety

Jason Tod

You two were having a heated argument

Jason tries to be as patient and as understanding as possible, but his rage instincts slip out of the cracks before he can reel them back in

So when he raises his voice at you it reminded you too much of your past and it terrified you

With a flinch, your hands itch to cover your ears with your gaze down, waiting for more yelling

Nothing but silence, so you looked up and saw Jason's reaction

Jason would be incredibly still, jaw slammed shut and arms pinned to his sides

"Why did you flinch?"

He say it with such a quiet voice, it'd be low and the edge of it would make you just a little nervous

He's pissed at the insinuation of you past, he'd be even more pissed at himself

Jason wants nothing more than to hug you and prove to you that he'd never hurt you, yet, he scared you

He'd be extremely conscious of his voice level anytime he's around you, especially during fights or when he and his siblings get rowdy

Once you two cool off for a bit and resolve the argument, he'd want to reassure you as much as he can with soft words

As much as he hates to admit it, he'd need some reassurance as well

He's terrified of hurting the people he loves in any way, he'll crave cuddles but won't admit it

You'll probably get to spend the night cuddled up and feeling completely safe with Jason

Tim Drake

Tim can be quite affectionate, he doesn't think twice about offering you physical affection very often

You both adore hugs so when he sneaks up from behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, he was expecting a soft morning gesture

Instead, your full body flinch immediately made him slowly let go, but when your terrified eyes met his, he completely backed off

You could see the confused nervousness in his eyes and you tried your best to soothe it but you couldn't quite shake the terror your body was feeling

Tim would apologize in an instant, he didn't realize how that could scare you so he silently plans to not do it again unless he makes it obvious he's coming near you

He loves communication with all his heart, so he'll continuously ask you every time he notices your small anxious flinches

"Did I do something that made you anxious?"

He asks so he can know what your triggers are so he can avoid them, he doesn't need the story behind it unless you want to tell him, he is a detective so he'll probably find out sooner or later anyway

Tim will panic internally that he did something wrong but he'll always do his best to make sure he helps in anyway you'd like him to

Whether you just need words of safety or his soft touch, or even a moment to yourself, he'll understand and be there every step of the way.

Damian Wayne

Damian has a incredible habit of sneaking up on you

He doesn't even try to, he just always walks silently and you never notice when he's in the room with you or not

So when you turn around and flinch hard, he doesn't think much of it at first

Damian just caught you with your guard down and he knows he can be scary sometimes, so he shrugs it off

Slowly it becomes a reoccurring thing, he notices every single time you flinch at him and mentally notes it down

He doesn't want to scare you too much, but you don't just flinch with him, so he's growing anxiety quickly disappears

But one bad mental health day and your flinch seems to look less like you being startled and more like you're a second away from curling in the corner and protecting yourself from him

Eventually he just corners you and demands answers

"You think I'd hurt you . . . or someone already did."

Damian has a way of accidentally interrogating you, he forgets that topics can be hypersensitive and people need time before they admit past traumas

But he makes up for it by being one of the best listeners

He'll sit patiently as you speak, giving you plenty of time to get your entire story out, as much as you want to say

While he wants to know the truth, he won't push you too hard, the second you say no, he'll pull back

He wants to know so he can protect you from any person or situation that ever triggers you

Damian can seem cold but deep down he really does care and wants to make sure you always feel safe with him

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@sunhats-and-candycorn

@missredrobin

[silverynight]

The haunting

<---Previous

Chapter 8

"What does it mean?" Izuku looks away from the window, moving closer to Kirishima who looks even more concerned now.

He wishes he knew more about vampires. Obviously, if they're chanting about the "new King" it means Enji is no longer their King. But... Is the new King really Shoto? Izuku doesn't know exactly what happened when the prince went to see his father. He doesn't even know how royalty works in the vampire society.

How is a new King chosen?

"Todoroki must've replaced his father," Kirishima mumbles, still watching as the vampires march down the street; the good thing is that they're getting away quickly.

"How? Why? What happened?" This time is not only curiosity what makes Izuku blurt out all those questions at once, but the worried feeling in his chest that makes his heart beat fast inside him.

"I think Uraraka mentioned something about a challenge..."

"You're right!" Izuku cuts the werewolf off without actually meaning to, but he's so nervous he doesn't even realize what he's doing; he doesn't even notice he's pacing around the room until he abruptly stops. "But we don't know what kind of challenge yet!"

"A fight," Kirishima tells him, relaxing a little bit after watching the vampires disappearing from view. "It's always a fight."

He's so tense he almost jumps out of his skin when he hears the insistent, almost desperate knock at the door. Kirishima tries to stop him, but it's too late, Izuku is already opening the door.

He finds Ochako right outside with Todoroki's arm over her shoulder; the vampire with mismatched hair can barely stand on his two feet.

For a moment, Izuku wonders why she just doesn't come inside, but then he remembers that even if she had been inside his apartment before, Todoroki has never payed him a visit before.

He has to invite him in.

"You can come..."

"Wait, Izuku..." Kirishima protests, but Izuku has made up his mind a while ago.

"... in"

Ochako smiles at him before both of them walk inside; Todoroki collapses on Izuku's couch immediately.

"Are you alright?" The human mumbles, sitting next to him, he notices Kirishima's tension, but he purposely ignores him in order to check on Todoroki. "Shoto?"

The vampire's eyes soften as soon as they look directly at Izuku's before Todoroki takes one of the human hands in his, kisses his palm softly and presses it against his pale, cold cheek. Todoroki closes his eyes, melting into the touch.

Izuku can't stop the blush that spreads all over his face in seconds.

"My father won't bother you again. I am the King now," he mumbles, eyes closed. It looks like every word drains all the energy from his body. Izuku can't help but worry about him.

"He fought his father and even though he won, it almost costs him everything," Ochako explains, her expression turns into a fond one as soon as she notices the concern on Izuku's face. "He'll be fine, but it'll take a while for his body to recover completely because he doesn't drink real human blood."

"You can drink mine," Izuku blurts out, moving his hand to offer his wrist.

Todoroki's eyes glow bright red for a moment before he manages to close them again and turn his head away.

"Don't do that, Izuku!" Kirishima takes a couple of steps closer to them, but Ochako blocks his way, hands over her hips, narrowing her eyes.

"That's not your choice to make," she scolds the werewolf.

"He's Katsuki's mate."

"Not yet. He doesn't have a bite!"

Todoroki sighs, but decides to purposely ignore them. His fingertips stroke Izuku's cheek gently before moving down his skin towards his neck.

"You don't have to. I'll be fine."

"I want to help you," the human insists.

For a moment, Izuku thinks Todoroki looks at his neck with longing, but then his expression changes drastically as his eyes falls over the necklace Izuku's wearing.

It almost seems like he hates it.

"Shoto..."

The vampire smiles softly at him as soon as he hears his own name before taking Izuku's hand in his and pressing his lips against his wrist.

"Thank you, Izuku," he whispers before sinking his fangs into the human's soft skin.

It hurts. But the sensation melts away until it disappears as Todoroki keeps drinking from him. Then, Izuku has to bite his bottom lip in order to stop himself from moaning; the pleasure takes him by surprise.

"That's enough!" Kirishima says, sounding clearly worried.

Todoroki stops when Izuku starts feeling a little bit dizzy; the vampire cleans the wound with his tongue while staring at Izuku in the eye the whole time. For some reason the act feels a lot more intimate now, getting suddenly flustered, Izuku looks away.

"Your blood is really delicious," he whispers against the human's wrist before kissing it.

Izuku doesn't know what to say to that. He supposes it's a compliment, but he has no idea what it truly means.

Todoroki rises from the couch, looking better already. It's incredible what human blood can do to a vampire.

"Stay here, Izuku. You need to rest. Do you have anything to eat in your fridge?"

"I have some noodles..."

"Great, I'll put them in the microwave and bring them to you."

Izuku blinks in confusion at him.

"But I'm not actually hungry."

"You need to eat something right now because I just drank some of your blood," Todoroki says, quickly grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around the human before giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

Izuku is about to say something else, but Ochako gives him a look.

"Let him take care of you," she says as the other vampire disappears into the kitchen.

The human nods because he knows he doesn't have much of a choice at the moment. But it still feels a little bit weird, especially because Todoroki is a King now.

He wants to ask so many things, but he's not sure his friend is ready to answer them at the moment.

What did exactly happen?

***

As soon as the food makes contact with his lips, Izuku realizes that he was actually hungry after all. He finishes the bowl in his hands quickly.

Feeling something soft over his lap, Izuku notices that Todoroki has moved in order to kneel on the floor and rest his cheek over the boy's leg.

"Shoto! Why are you... You're a King!" Izuku stammers, cheeks turning bright red as the vampire looks up at him with a fond smile on his face.

"It doesn't matter now," Todoroki mumbles, rising from the ground to lean into Izuku's space. "That doesn't matter when it comes to you."

Before Kirishima can say anything, they start hearing voices outside. There is a new group of vampires walking down the street.

"Now that you're better, I think it's time for you to talk to them," Ochako finally says, looking through the window with a little bit of concern written all over her face. "You should tell them how things are going to work from now on. Your father probably still has his supporters..."

"You're right. I need to keep everything under control," Todoroki nods. It always amazes Izuku how intimidating he could be when he's not looking directly at him. "This lockdown needs to end now."

However, his expression softens again (like it always does) whenever his eyes meet Izuku's.

"I'll come to see you again," he promises in a gentle whisper before kissing the human on the forehead.

Only when the two vampires are completely gone, Kirishima seems to be able to relax, but not that much.

"He's not going to like this..."

Izuku doesn't need to ask to know whom he's talking about. Instinctively, he moves his head down to see his wrist; the wound has faded away.

***

Yeah, he doesn't like it one bit.

"He did WHAT?"

Izuku hasn't been able to move from his position on the couch in a while and he's certainly not going to try again in front of Bakugo because the werewolf will get even more pissed if he finds out Izuku still gets a little bit dizzy whenever he tries to stand on his own.

"He was weak and exhausted so I offered him a little bit of my blood," Izuku tries to explain.

One of Bakugo's eyes starts twitching.

"Did he bite your neck?"

"No, it was my wrist..."

Even though it's evident he's still mad, Bakugo nods, calming down a little. He sits on the couch and takes Izuku in his arms before easily moving him on his lap.

"I'm not going to let him steal you away from me."

Izuku sighs, trying not to roll his eyes as he curls up against his boyfriend. He feels a rough hand on the back of his neck.

"He's not going to do that. We're friends."

"You're so damn dense, nerd."

"And you're a jealous werewolf, Kacchan," Izuku says back, lips quirking up on their own as soon as he feels Bakugo nuzzling his cheek.

"You can leave us now. I'll stay with him," the blond mumbles without looking away from the human.

"Alright, Katsuki!"

"Don't be rude, Kacchan," Izuku scolds him. "Aren't you going to say something else to your friend?"

Sighing dramatically, Bakugo turns his head around to look back at Kirishima.

"Thanks for taking care of my mate I guess," he huffs.

Izuku decides not to correct him on the "mate" thing because he doesn't want to ruin the moment.

"Thank you so much, Eijiro," he beams. "I was really happy to have you here with me!"

"You're welcome, Izuku!" Kirishima grins from ear to ear, before leaving them alone.

When the human realizes Bakugo is pouting, he can't help but chuckle. He leans to kiss him quickly on the cheek.

That seems to do the trick, however, the werewolf doesn't find a kiss on the cheek to be enough, because he quickly chases Izuku's soft lips.

Suddenly, the city alarm sounds again...

The lockdown has been lifted.

***

Next--->

Patreon

[animeyanderelover]

Yandere Generation of Miracles Hc’s

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, threatening, bribing, blackmailing, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, violence, kidnapping, killing, delusions, controlling behavior

Tetsuya Kuroko

👤Kuroko is a stalker and obsessive Yandere. He just is ideal for a stalker given his natural lack of presence and is the type to follow his darling home only to make sure that they arrive safe. He uses this actually a lot to his advantage, constantly lingering only a few feet away from his s/o. If they should notice him because he is always there and accuse him of following them, he can simply say that he was in here long before they were and they simply did not notice him. He's obsessive and has a thing for reading things his darling wrote. It can be something as simple as a notebook in which they wrote down stuff for school or something very personal like a diary if he should be able to get his hands on them. He also treasures things his darling borrows him, a pencil or their notes they made in the lessons since he didn't pay attention. And he seems to often forget his things or to make notes that at some point you'll just tell him to keep the pen. And he never seems to lose things you give him.

👤Kuroko is also self-aware and manipulative. He's smart and a rational boy, recognizing his wrong feelings. He might feel the smallest bit embarrassed about them, but overall he keeps a more composed form, focusing more on making sure he doesn't slip up since worrying too much won't do good. Kuroko uses his lack of presence for two main reasons. The first one is to stalk you, the other is to make you feel guilty. Because at one point you might seriously feel sorry for him because you constantly don't notice him until he says something. Especially if you know that he likes you, it'll make you more apologetic. So it might be that his darling will try to make up for all the ignoring by being more friendly to him and trying to pay more attention to him. So if Kuroko asks if they would like to eat with him or if he can walk a bit with them, not many can say no when they kept overlooking him.

👤Kuroko isn't someone to easily get jealous. He has faith in his darling and despite always watching, he won't interfere unless he notices that something is off. Especially when they talk to his senpais or closest friends, he is more chill since he respects them all. If he does get jealous the other person will suffer at first from a small heart attack due to him suddenly popping up right next to his darling with a deadpan expression, being all straightforward with that he feels uncomfortable with them being so close and friendly with his s/o.

👤It's rare to make Kuroko furious enough to kill someone since he has actually a good amount of control over his feelings. And it's honestly scary when he gets mad since the whole aura around him changes drastically. Even Kagami was scared of him. Kuroko is also a scary murderer if you think of it. He is almost like a ghost and next to that he's really cunning when getting rid of someone. He would stalk someone to gather more informations on when, how and with what to kill someone once he decides that this person has to disappear.

👤Kuroko doesn't want to kidnap his darling since he's confident that they will move in eventually with him someday. Kuroko has a confidence in him that he can have a normal relationship with his s/o even though he can do scary things for them. Kidnapping would be somewhat of a last resort for him in which case you won't notice him until it's too late.

👤What makes Kuroko dangerous is the fact that he can creep up onto someone without them noticing until it's already too late. He is a bit frustrating since he keeps most of the time a stoic expression and is hard to read for you. Intially he used to be a bit more antisocial with you, probably also due to the fact that he was unsure how to deal with his feelings. But once he embraced them properly, he started wanting to spend more time with you and getting to know you better. He's fine with taking it the slow way and not forcing you into anything. Also, he might not look like it, but he's really good in planning dates and stuff like this since his main language of love would be quality time.

Ryōta Kise

✨I made a while ago a post about my first opinion of the characters and I already wrote it there. But Kise is delusional and surprisingly possessive. Think about it, he's adored and praised by everyone and dated many girls. But he never truly loved someone before so when getting that he's helplessly in true love with his darling, he grows incredibly possessive and territorial over them. He isn't someone who gives up, he fights til the end on and off the court and will chase his darling constantly. He does not accept the fact that his darling might not like him and sugarcoats his unhealthy feelings with the argumentation that he just was never in love before. His darling is just extraordinary and he overall just romanticizes his feelings a lot. Due to him being told that he's great and handsome and all that he also believes that his darling likes him too. He might even think that you two are already dating is ensured without you even noticing him or his feelings. He's also manipulative though not in the sense that he lies to you, at least if he doesn't have to. He just sugarcoats everything and is a bit dramatic, tending to exaggerating things and guilt-tripping you, acting all whiny and upset when you don't spend time with him, but someone else. He can also pressure you due to the media and his popularity.

✨Next to this he's obsessive, clingy and lovestruck. His s/o is for him special for the simple reason that they make him feel intensely. Kise treasures them for that a lot. He has a bad case of obsessive and doesn't see the problem in wanting to know private things about them, finding it either out through his darling or by personally doing a bit research. Has also a thing for constantly snapping pictures of them, with or without them knowing. He's a needy and clingy man to start with which roots from his possesiveness. He simply doesn't like leaving you alone under other people, doesn't matter men or women since he tends to grow impatient and irritated when he doesn't see you. He just feels in his best moods when he's with you and displays a lot of public affection. He used to dream about this long before you might suspect and since this is the first relationsip with the person he loves more than anything, he was also very excited about cuddling, holding hands, kissing and other stuff.

✨Kise is an interesting one for this. Because on the one hand he believes that his darling loves him as well and thinks highly of himself. On the other hand he gets all confused and bothered the moment he catches them laughing and talking with someone else. He gets really competitive the moment he sees it which is another reason why he doesn't like leaving you alone for longer than a few seconds. And here people should be careful with him since he can be two-faced if he wants to be. He can be all gently and sweetly smiling, forcefully that is, but his limits in here are rather easily pushed. Whilst he is careful with how he acts when you're around, he can become really unhinged when facing a person who made him jealous alone. He has this unnerving cold and fake smile which doesn't reach his eyes and gives up an intimadating vibe. You on the other hand will have to endure a clingy and whiny blonde model afterwards. Not even his own teammates, old and new ones, are exactly safe from him.

✨He uses more his popularity and influence rather than dirtying his own hands. Kise is someone who will spread rumors and even use his fans to go up against someone. He likes to keep his sunshine imagine in public and it's hard for others to believe a victim when they accuse him of having threatened them since Kise is too indirect with it so that the other person has no proof. Many just brush it off as him being very jealous over you which many even think off as cute. And by accusing him without proof the person automatically becomes an outcast, Kise worsening it all even more by acting hurt about being harshy accused like this.

✨Public pressure can and will be used by him if possible. He's a model and as a part of the Generation of Miracles he has a lot of spotlight on him and by being together with him guarantees the same for you as well. A lot of people are watching your and his relationship and are highly supportive of it. It's dangerous to break up with him or refuse to live together with him for too long because not only will Kise grow impatient fast, but you might risk getting bullied from his fans. The moment you should really try to distance yourself Kise can, despite acting most of the time like a sweetheart to you, become more pressuring and dangerous, bribing you into staying with him and coming to him. You wouldn't want his enraged fans all over you and even your family, would you? Sweetie, please reconsider your choices. He can make it all stop. You just have to come back to him. Give yourself to him.

✨He's annoyingly sweet and clingy with you, not to mention very possessive. Kise is spoiling with affection as well as small presents here and there. He might even be arrogant enough to gift you pictures of himself since he really thinks of himself a bit too highly, at least when it comes to winning someone's heart and wooing someone. But by all means, do not underestimate him just because he acts like a lovesick fool because he can be drastically different if being triggered. He can be all too scary if he wants to be, not only to rivals, but to you as well. He constantly drags you to his practice games and official games since he wants you to support him with your all. Would be the type to point at you and wink after every point he scores and if he hears you cheering him on, he'll win those games without any problems. If he should lose you are certainly in for something because then he gets really emotional and upset, crying himself out on you and searching for comfort in you. He wanted to win for you.

Shintarō Midorima

⭐️Midorima is fascinating to say the least. Because I very well believe that he is sharp enough to realize his wrong feelings. But it was also shown throughout the show that he's superstitious, believing in the Oha Asa horoscopes, blood types and more stuff like this. I can see him forming his obsession because he was told on that day he would meet his soulmate. So when he met you, he started thinking that it might be you, becoming interested in you and wanting to know more about you. It is bound to make him an obsessive one, he wants to know everything about his soulmate, it's his good right after all, but he would be fair enough to tell them a lot of stuff about him too.

⭐Once forming his obsession and believing firmly that his darling is the chosen one, he becomes possessive and, believe it or not, clingy as well as controlling and protective. He's possessive for the reason that he thinks that his darling was fated for him, his unnatural strong feelings only confirming his suspicions. He feels the need to make sure that his soulmate is okay, making him overprotective and especially on days where their zodiac signs is ranked as unlucky or he read that today they should be careful or else something might happen to them, he searches for excuses to stick closer to them. He's controlling for two reasons. First of all he just believes that he knows what's best for them, going accordingly to his Oha Asa and what the horoscopes tell him. The second reason is that despite feeling mighty of his abilities, somewhere deep inside of him steams some self-doubting which subconsciously influences his need to know what they're doing all the time a lot. Also manipulative, he’s smart and also, in my opinion, a charmer.

⭐He's surprisingly lenient with his s/o talking to others. The reason is that he's convinced they won't try anything since they're fated to be with him. He assumes that they feel the connection they both share and for that doesn't see the need to be jealous. Rather than that he feels annoyed at other people, but respects it. Takao has most likely a huge interest in them as well simply because he didn't expect Midorima to be so caring and soft, teasing him often. But despite the whole soulmate thing Midorima can get jealous in which case he will step in and tell the other person in an unpolite cold tone to back off. He also doesn't tolerate when someone disrespects his darling. Funny thing is that he can get jealous faster if someone has a zodiac sign which matches well in a romantic sense with yours or his Oha Asa warned him of a threat.

⭐Similar to Kuroko he would be sly about this, planning ahead so no one will ever suspect him. He has a good insight and is good in analyzing his opponents, making him a dangerous man. Because despite being most of the time calm he can snap when he is driven to the edge. And then he has the intention to destroy someone, even though not in the classic way. For him it's all about mindgames and mindbreaking in which he is an expert. Without the other person even noticing what's really going on, he will suddenly make sure that their grades drop and that they suddenly have a bad light shining on them. Especially on days where that zodiac sign of theirs is bound to be unlucky, he would mercilessly indirectly launch at them.

⭐He is respecting, but also strictly orientates himself after his horoscopes. He might just suggest moving in together when, I kid you not, the damn horoscope says that now it is time to be closer to your loved one. Besides that he will kidnap you when you either try to break up with him or start showing interest in someone else and he can't get rid of this new threat. Because by now he has completely convinced himself that you two will live together, will marry each other, maybe have children when the time has come, either by you giving birth or adopting if you shouldn't be a woman or not able to have children. Soulmates shouldn't leave each other, that's unacceptable. Midorima will in this case take things in his own hands, determined to make his s/o realize their mistake since they must be confused.

⭐It's all about fate, zodiac signs and his horoscopes. He will start looking in horoscopes, informing himself about your zodiac sign before his and you can bet that he will always bring your lucky item with him, expecting you to keep it with you no matter how big or embarrassing it might be to carry around. He isn't someone who is smothering like Kise is, but he makes it clear to everyone that you're taken by subtle things like holding your hands or just accompanying you often. He isn't above scolding you when you did something stupid, but is also the one who always gives you advices on how to become better in something. Gentleman for which Takao pokes fun at him, calling him a softie and stuff like this. The type to open doors for you and help you studying if you have troubles with something.

Daiki Aomine

💙You know those guys who know very well what they do is wrong, but don't give a shit? That's Aomine for you. There are few guys who are so indifferent when it comes to their wrong feelings and actions rooting from them. He's overprotective and possessive over his darling. It's shown that Aomine is protective over those he respects and sees as friends, but that's honestly nothing in comparison to how he acts with his darling since he's the type to totally baby them in all senses possible. He's passionate when it comes to you, abandoning any kind of lazyness he might usually have and dearly loves you. That's what makes him incredibly territorial over you. He intends to keep what makes him feel alive and is for that a clingy one as well. He is pretty touchy to start with and just feels at ease and on top of the world when with his s/o.

💙Lovestruck and obsessive. People picture him as rough, but I don't think so. He doesn't want to scare his darling, at least not on purpose. Aomine just thinks of his darling as precious and I can not see him letting his ire out on them under any means necessary. He just sorts them into a 'protect-them-under-all-means-necessary' category. Since feeling passionate about them, he feels the need to know them a lot, partially because he wants to be a good partner. He's also manipulative in an emotional sense. He doesn't want to appear as a brutal and rude man in front of his darling which is why I assume he will guilt-trip them emotionally, pretending to be affected by people always complaining about him and also saying that he isn't what people see in him. He's just wrongly judged and can and will bring often the fact up that with you he feels like life is more fun, asking you to stay longer with him and letting him walk you home. How can you make up your mind about him without even knowing him?

💙He's another one who is funny to think of in here. He might honestly think that jealousy is not suited for him since he thinks he's the best. But there is just something that pisses him off whenever he sees someone talking to his darling. Next to that his overprotectiveness plays another huge part in here and very soon he will constantly trail behind his darling, swearing to keep everyone, except Momoi, away from them. And I do doubt that many have the balls to mess or get anywhere near his darling when his mere intense aura is already painful to bear with.

💙He's violent and whilst never daring to hurt his s/o, he has no problem with letting his frustrations out on objects or humans if they made him mad. He lashes out on everyone who makes him jealous or angry in another sense, threatening to seriously hurt them if they should come anywhere near you again. And he doesn't joke around with it, he means it. He's short-tempered and the only reason he might not beat someone then and there is because his darling holds him back from doing so. They're the only person who never fails to calm him down, not even Momoi can do that.

💙It's most likely his overprotectiveness which will lead him to doing so, topped with his possessiveness just a wonderful thing. Aomine is all the time thinking about you, it's not even funny if you would know it. That's also maybe the only time he feels sorry for what he did, but he really can't effort the thought of having you not with him. Leaving him will trigger this even more because at one point his darling became just a too huge and best part of his life. He refuses to lose the person who gives his life a purpose and meaning.

💙It never ceases to fascinate other people how gentle he is with you in comparison with anyone else. I personally believe that despite being very confident with himself, he often asks Momoi for some dating advice, especially after he discovered his feelings he asked his childhood friend for help. And he was most likely uncharacteristically nervous when confessing to you which disappeared after you, hopefully, agreed. Momoi would be shipper number one the moment she found out that Daiki liked you and I believe that she is another way to manipulate you. If you're for example scared of Aomine, Momoi would sense how depressed he is and start spending time with you, befriending you and trying to talk good about him and setting up situations where you have to be near him. Momoi is most likely anyways the only person Daiki is fine with you spending time with since he has known her for years. It's not like he can stop the pink-haired girl anyways since she absolutely plans on being best friends with Daiki's darling. He also tends to actually give his all in matches when knowing that you're watching because then he wants to impress you.

Atsushi Murasakibara

🍭Murasakibara is childish and for that a clingy and needy Yandere. He wants attention from you all the time and will push everything away that takes it away from him and mercilessly squeezes himself between anything just so you finally acknowledge that he's there. Delusional which also connects with his child-like character. He misreads actions his darling might do with him. They were kind and friendly to him? They must like him. They complimented him on his basketball skills? They like him. They gave him sweets? They just indirectly confessed to him. It's his way of thinking and since he's pretty tall...cut that, giantic, he has found a liking in giving his s/o piggybacks, carrying them around or having them sit in his lap. Also enjoys it when they feed him with sweets or let themself get fed by him.

🍭Next to that he's obsessive. He just has this stubborn will to find out as much as he can about his darling, much like a child who found something really fascinating and wants to know more about it. He constantly asks questions about them and if they refuse to give them an answer, he starts pouting and complaining. He's also lovestruck and possessive which is why he is clingy in the first place. He's shown to be rather apathetic and different, but he very well opens up to his darling and they're the only thing that can manage him to try harder since he somewhat seeks for praises and acknowledgement in them. His possessiveness is more childish, but dangerous neverthless. He just doesn't like sharing. He might share sweets, but definitely not his darling even tough with Himuro this might be possible...But that's for something else.

🍭I do doubt that everyone except Himuro and his teammates, if Murasakibara lets them that is, even thinks about coming near you. Who would when seeing a giant towering over his darling who sometimes glares at other people around him with the clear message to stay away from them written all over his face? I told you, he doesn't like when attention he's needy for is being taken away from him and if it's not a person, than he has no problem with getting jealous at an object. If you pay for example more attention to your phone, he'll grab it and hold it up in the air where you have no chance of reaching it. And he won't give it back to you unless you promise to pay attention to him again.

🍭It's more unlikely that many people would try something with his darling in the first place since he's threateningly tall and intimidating. The thing is that he might even hurt someone without really intending to since he's so incredibly tall. But it is shown that he is slightly sadistic and wants to crush his opponents. And people who did manage to get onto his bad side might discover just how literal he means these words.

🍭It can happen with him since he expects constant attention and is starved for praises. And the moment he doesn't get what he wants, he gets irritated and it will lead to him clinging onto his darling and annoying them in hopes of receiving what he searches for. He becomes overbearing when his basic needs aren't satisfied and if he doesn't get what he desires, he will take it by force if he has to.

🍭Congratulations for having a baby giant trailing after you. Because that's what he is. Murasakibara has definitely a thing for sweets and you can make him quite literally fall even more in love with you when you often buy him different sorts of sweets and candy. And he will be definitely on cloud 9 if you feed him. These are things that he finds cute next to the fact that you're most likely smaller than him. (I'm 46 centimeters smaller than him...). But given his height he's also very careful with you since he's afraid of accidentally hurting. He touches you so carefully, people might think you're made out of glass.

Seijūrō Akashi

🏆So much potential, oh my god. We do have to take into consideration that there are two Akashi's. I believe that he is an incredibly lucid Yandere, but what makes him terrifying is that he is even more indifferent to it than Aomine is. Whilst I see the original Akashi being a bit more concerned about it, the second Akashi does not care at all. He's also possessive and obsessive. Both Akashi's have a winner mentality and for that do not allow the darling to leave him ever. He hates losing and it's just so natural for him to win all the time that losing his darling is something Akashi forbid. And he will stop them with all his power. The obsessiveness is a bit less intense with the original Akashi since he respects it if his darling wants to keep things more private for themself. The second Akashi isn't like this. He believes that he has the right to know everything about them, including with whom they talk when he isn't there and where they are all the time.

🏆Controlling and manipulative. The controlling side counts especially for the second Akashi since the original one has a bit more respect, but would stil be very controlling. But it's nothing in comparison to the other one because here the whole emperor thing will really shine through. He has to have absolute control over his darling to the point where he has to control where they have to be when he can't be with them and have to always reply to his messages or calls and if not, they better have a good explanation. He expects loyalty and obedience. An don't even get me started with the manipulations. He can just downright threaten and blackmail them with all his heart without having to worry. I do believe he prefers to degrade them more, installing the belief in them that they need him. He's also that kind of guy who will set up scenarios where they simply have to rely on him. Their family is in financial troubles? Guess who might be willing to help for a favor? If that doesn't work he might just tell you he'll make sure that your friends will get thrown out the school or that your parents will get fired. It's also worth mentioning that he says lunatic stuff. He once told you that if he should ever lose you, he'll slit his throat since he won't ever accept not being with you. It's an intense, but effective way of terrifying you to the extent of not wanting to leave him just so he stops doing all this stuff.

🏆In Rakuzan it's an unspoken rule to not even dare to come anywhere near you, Akashi made sure that everyone knew that you were untouchable. Because the moment he started chasing after you, spending more time with you and showing that he likes you in his own way, people just stopped interacting with you. No one even dreams of going against him, not unless they value their life and reputations since Akashi is capable of many things. Akashi is isolating, he will cut off all your ties with other people, even your friends and later on own family since he wants all of your love and attention on him. You only need him. He might do it in a more sly way though where his s/o will start wondering why everyone, including friends, suddenly start avoiding them. And the only person who will be there for them is Akashi. He ensures he's the only option. Also insists on PDA, nothing too extreme, but as a sign of possession he has to always touch you in some way.

🏆If a certain miscalculation should happen and someone does dare to interact with you in any way, Akashi will get extremely violent. He despises less things more than disobedience and you do remember that he attacked Kagami with a scissor, don't you? He's very ready to spill blood and next to that has a lot of influence. So if suddenly the parents of the darling's classmates get fired or pets from them die they shouldn't wonder if they do remember to having spoken to the darling. He can be described with the word horrifying in such situations since he's coldhearted and cruel.

🏆It's not like his darling has a choice to start with as long as the second Akashi is in control. I do see the original one as the one who wouldn't want to pressure you into anything. But the second one definitely does because his mentality of winning and in general his whole mind is twisted, a lot. Having his darling not with him counts as losing which he hates and now that it involves his s/o, it's even worse. So he will force you into moving in with him the moment both of you graduate college. He doesn't think you need anyone else besides him.

🏆Akashi almost sees you as a possession. He can play the part of a very loving boyfriend and partner if he wants to. But the moment you disobey him, he can switch gears in the blink of an eye. I do see him as someone who wouldn't be as intense with you when you make a mistake in comparison to others. He rather lets it out on the person who caused you to make this mistake. But Akashi sees himself as absolute and so he is someone who would get furious if you should not like him or reject him when he confesses. He isn't delusional, but it's just engraved in his mind that he never lost in anything before. Next to that he also thinks that he's the best you can be with because he can give you everything and anything you will ever need and want. And if you just act as the loyal and accepting partner he wants you to be, he can and will spoil you. He does acknowledge that you have your own opinion, but in the end he just thinks he knows what's best. Even worse is that he's really talented in gaslighting and pulling the strings from behind the scenes without you or anyone else doubting that it was his fault. And then he'll be there to comfort you when you're once again upset because everyone seems to leave you lately and pull you like this closer to him. Also manipulates your parents into really loving him since he has his way of wrapping someone completely around his finger.

[bunnyywritings]

bubbly s/o opens up about trauma pt. 1

bakugou katsuki & shouto todoroki x gn!reader

word count: 1.8k

requested by anon: Katsu, Sho, Izu, and Eiji headcanons to their bubbly, and sweet crush, and close friend, opening up to them about being abused by their parents growing up? They've gotten therapy and are living with their Grandparents but sometimes they get upset when someone brings up parents or asks about the scars from abuse. They tell them they shared this with them because they refused to lie to them. They hug him close, thanking him for being a good friend. -Morp

[a/n: i hope you don’t mind that I’m doing it in parts anon! i ended up doing scenarios for each one, i'm a bit rusty so i apologize if this isn't very well done. you can read part 2 [ here ] ,thank you for requesting sweet heart! here you go! - yours truly, bunny -`ღ´- ]

TW: mentions of parental abuse & scars, nothing explicit but implied

To an extent, he always knew. Maybe not the specifics, but whenever you were alone and thought no one was paying any attention, you’d let your guard down. The metaphorical sparkle in your eyes would dim, your shoulders would slump as if you were taking a break. Then someone would approach and in the blink of an eye, the sparkle was back and the familiar grin on your lips was present once again. Despite what others may think, Bakugou was a good friend.

He worried about you. A lot.

That may be due to the fact that he has a huge crush on you, but it was unlikely. He values your friendship so much. He’d rather have you as a friend than anything else, really. That was mainly his insecurity talking though. He just thought he wasn’t good enough for you. No one was, really. But that’s besides the point.

He had never explicitly said anything about his feelings for you but he didn’t need to. It was quite clear through his actions. Well...clear to everyone but you, that is. Even Aizawa had caught on. And he couldn’t care less about his students’ love lives. He’s had his fill of teenage angst and drama.

During training, he’d always make sure your water bottle was full or during lunch he’d keep an eye out and make sure you were eating. Sometimes he’d even give you extra pieces of meat from his plate, or if he had veggies he knows you like, he’d wordlessly place them into your rice bowl.

Now this wasn’t one sided at all. You also had your ways of looking out for him.

If you were doing a convenience store run with Sero and you saw the particular snack that Bakugou likes, you’d instantly grab a few. For his birthday, you had gotten him custom earplugs for quirk training. It had been after you and him were paired to spar against each other, he always insisted on not holding back against you out of respect, and you had experienced one of his full blown attacks head-on. Your ears were ringing for about half an hour before you could somewhat hear again, and even then, everything was a bit muffled.

Needless to say, you were worried about his hearing

He scoffed and rolled his eyes when he unwrapped the box. Scolding you for wasting money on something he had no use for.

He always uses them though. Especially when he’s doing stamina training, and it’s explosion after explosion.

Anyways. He notices your strange behavior, one day. You stopped trying to keep up the façade and you were sort of gloomy all day. He was absolutely pissed that no one had noticed the change, and he’d yell at them later for it, but he kept his cool and waited until he could be alone with you.

It had been around 8pm, just an hour before his bedtime, when he made some tea for the both of you and carried it up to your dorm room. He paused in front of your door, looking down at both his hands, a mug in each one, then looking at the door handle. Realizing he won't be able to physically open the door by himself, he awkwardly bumped the door with his elbow.

“Hey idiot, it’s me. Open the door.” He grumbled quietly, frowning when you hadn’t responded. Before he could repeat himself a little more aggressively, the muffled sound of your sniffling made his stomach drop. Panic rising throughout his body as he made up worst case scenarios in his head.

“(Y/n), seriously. Is everything okay?” All attempts to sound calm failed as his voice betrayed him, trembling the slightest bit.

On the other side of the door, you started to panic. Furiously wiping any evidence of tears or snot from your face before you slumped over to the door, turning the lock and tugging it open to reveal a frowning Bakugou. He wasn’t upset, he was worried. It was evident in his red irises.

“Here. Drink it before it gets cold.” He handed you a mug before walking past you and into your room. He admired the decor everytime he was in there, no matter how many times he had seen it already, it never failed to make his heart warm. You had a wall full of pictures of yourself with your friends. There were a few solo photos of your friends as well. Most were candid shots, there were a fair few of him.

It always reminded him that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. You cherished those candid photos because in your eyes, when your friends were carefree and themselves, no poses, no facade, that’s when they were their most beautiful.

He took a seat on your bed and patted the space beside him. Nudging the door shut, you made your way over and got comfortable.

“What’s up with you today? You seemed...not yourself.”

You didn’t respond, opting to take a sip of your tea. He knew there was something up and he wasn’t gonna push you. So he leaned back and got comfortable, waiting until you were ready. It was a solid three minutes of silence before you took a deep breath.

“I-I don’t want to lie to you, Katsuki. It just wouldn’t be fair so uhh, yeah. Here goes.” He could tell that this was overwhelming for you so, wordlessly, he put down his mug and held his hand out to you and you grasped it, like it was a lifeline.

And you told him.

You told him about the abuse from your own parents. He felt his blood boil as you showed him a few scars inflicted by your parents’ quirks. You explained that it was the anniversary of the day you ran away and went to live with your grandparents, and how you had been seeing a therapist on the regular since then.

It pained him to see you struggle through the tears, hiccuping a few times as you attempted to catch your breath. You didn’t even have to say it but he could see it, it was an all too familiar feeling to him. He tugged you to him, letting go of your hand and pulling you into his chest, his arms wrapping you up in a warmth that made the stinging tears return.

“You know, this doesn’t make me think less of you. You’re not weak. Those bastards don’t realize how bad they screwed up. You’re strong, and they’re gonna regret every goddamn choice they’ve made when they see how far you’ll go.”

“Thank you.” You whimpered as you gave in to the new wave of tears, hooking your arms around his shoulders. “Thank you…”

If anyone asks, no...he wasn’t crying. (He was though.)

If anyone was familiar with the signs of abuse, it was him. 

It hurt him so much knowing that you had gone through what he did, maybe not to the same extreme but you had experienced it nonetheless. 

He admired you though. Despite whatever happened to you, you were always bright. Always in a good mood and always choosing to see the good in people. He knows that he didn’t have the strength to do that. Maybe eventually, but not so soon. He had never wanted to pry. You guys were friends, practically best friends and he trusted that you’d tell him when you were ready. 

To his knowledge, no one knew. No one mentioned the way you’d flinch around sudden movements or when someone raised their voice. Honestly, it was a wonder that you had even befriended Iida. He was the epitome of loud and sudden. Always waving his arms around at the randomest times and always shouting to chastise someone for breaking a rule. 

He noticed that you tended to cover up your torso often. Never really wearing anything more revealing than a normal t-shirt. Even on the class trip to the beach, you insisted on staying covered up. No one questioned it, chalking it up to insecurity. Even during training when everyone had to wear their gym uniform, while others undid the top part and wrapped it around their waist, being clad in a tank top or sports bra, you had always kept it on. Even when it was extremely hot. More often than not, he found himself resting his palm against your forehead to cool you off. 

It hadn’t been very hot, but Aizawa decided to run everyone ragged with combat training, so everyone was partnered up. Todoroki had been partnered with Denki and you had been paired up with Eijirou.

As he sat with his classmates, watching the two of you spar, he was quite impressed. Not that he doubted your skill but both fighting styles were drastically different. Eijirou and his quirk relied on close combat while your quirk worked best with long-range. He could see the frustration on your face when Eijirou kept charging towards you and engaging in hand to hand.

As the fight went on, Kirishima had hardened his forearm and hand, kinda like a makeshift blade and as he took you down, he had accidentally cut the top of your gym uniform. As the dust settled and the both of you got up, the tear in your clothes allowed the whole class to see your back and shoulders, skin littered with scars. All were different in size, color, severity, etc. 

Everyone was stunned silent, not having expected anything like this. 

“(Y/n)...what happened?” You could feel the breeze on your back and the pity in Kirishima’s eyes made you angry.

Everyone suddenly snapped into realization. Various questions of; ‘who did that to you?’, ‘where did those come from?’ and whatnot were shot at you from different directions. He could see you slowly being overwhelmed by everything. His heart dropped as he made eye contact with you, your eyes tired and filled with tears. 

“That’s ENOUGH!” Everyone froze and looked at Todoroki with wide eyes, his voice booming.

Sensing the tension starting to rise, Aizawa sighed. 

“Alright everyone settle down. Training is over, get back to class. (Y/n). A word.” 

Reluctantly, Todoroki followed the boys into the locker room and changed into his school uniform.  When everyone was out and he returned outside to the training grounds, you and Aizawa weren’t there so he had gone back to the locker rooms. He knocked and called out to you. 

“Can I come in?” He heard a meek ‘yeah.’ So he carefully made his way inside. 

There you were, dressed in your school uniform and sat on a bench with your face buried in your hands, shoulders shaking. 

“(Y/n)...” He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, he winced when you looked up at him. IIt ached him to see your beautiful eyes tainted by tears. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Sho…” Your bottom lip quivered. 

“Please, don’t apologize.” He opened his arms. You stood up and basically collapsed into them, clutching onto the back of his blazer. “Just always remember that I may understand more than anyone else will. I’ll never judge you, you know that right?” 

“I know…It’s just, ugh-” You pulled away and wiped the tears from your face. “I don’t want anyone to change how they look at me because of what my parents did to me and when everyone saw, and they were asking all of their questions, their eyes...they were just full of pity.” 

“Then look into mine.”

And when you did, you didn’t see pity. 

You saw admiration. You saw belonging. Love. Understanding. 

“Nothing will ever change with me, (Y/n).” He pressed his forehead against yours, “I will always be here for you.” 

[harfanfare]

Snow White and Juliet

trigger warning: suicide and just whatever happened in Romeo and Juliet & Snow White but darker.

People tend to define different things with the same word.

According to some, the lack of life is simply death. Others include there people who do nothing but work. They have no love, no passion. Those who remain unmoved by the suffering of others. Heartless ones.

For one poison vendor, "lifeless" meant being unable to move, drink, eat, but think. Think for eternity about nothing, what is described harsher than real death.

◆◆◆

„Test 103 was accomplished with success.”

There is confusion in the experiment hall. Researchers run from monitor to monitor, all comparing unexpected, but desired results.

No errors in documentation. No lapses in research. No difference in subsequent attempts.

The team of researchers was cheering in awe: the antidote for one of the biggest poisons in Twisted Wonderland, the "Poisoned Apple", has been found.

It's time to wake Neige Leblanche up.

◆◆◆

The Leblanche Tragedy happened almost two years ago when many haters got to harras Neige and his fiancée, [Name], who just announced their relationship. You were meeting already for quite a time, and knowing each other even longer. It wasn't easy to break any of you by hate.

But it wasn't also easy to live with people, who despised you with all their heart.

"It's alright," Neige whispered, his fingers combing the hair of his beloved. His voice was tranquil and soothing as always, almost by itself vanishing every bad experience. "It will be alright. I will make sure it will be."

"I know. And I am always thankful for that," you replied, cuddling him even more. Neige scent was another thing that hadn't changed over years; it was still the same aroma of wild, but soft flowers and heartwarming sunrays. Another wonderful feature. "I love you, Neige."

"I love you too."

That was the last discussion you had before the disaster happened.

And it started from no one else than Vil Schoenheit, who wasn't even aware how his actions will take a completely another turn than everyone expected.

◆◆◆

"Will it solve it? The sleeping potion?" you asked, turning the vial in your hands. It was no bigger than your little finger, and the potion there was taking only half of the space.

Not so long ago, around an hour, you found yourself invited by Vil to a tea party. You couldn't figure if he had been struck by your "help me" aura or was searching for a company, but you ended up in gardens, staring at the porcelain pot in which the tea was brewing.

It favoured the first meeting you two had: the tableware with the same, old-fashioned flowery pattern and the rich aroma of tea leaves of Vil's choice. Only a plate with sweets and fruits was something new—it was hard to convince Vil to bring anything sugary and even harder to make him try it. He finally ate a small (microscopical, in your opinion) piece of hand-made shortcake, but that was all you could do to let him appreciate the sweet energy shot.

"I cannot guarantee anything," Vil replied, watching you examine the bottle's content. "But it may work. With an emphasis on 'may'," he added, tearing his gaze away. Vil was your dear friend, and even if he didn't approve of your taste in men, especially your pick for a future husband, you were close enough to have him help you come up with a solution. "Use it as a last resort. I... am sure you will be able to find a better, safer way. For example, dumping your fiancé."

You giggled, but both of you knew his proposition was impossible. You could never leave Neige.

"Thank you, no thank you," you answered with a smile. The only thing that didn't let it last longer, were your problems. "Again, I am indebted to you. Thank you for being the best and the best prettiest in my life."

Vil puts the tea away, its taste suddenly feeling bitter and hard to swallow.

"...Well then. [Name], don't be reckless."

"I will try my best not to. I promise."

◆◆◆

You found a solution.

If you were the reason which made people attack Neige on social media and not only, why wouldn't you just disappear?

Not for eternity. Only for a month, maybe a few weeks, until the turmoil would silence. You and Neige could get married this way, inviting no one else than the closest of the closest people for the ceremony. Announcing your marriage and fake death wouldn't be that much of a shock as many could assume. There is a field called effective business, and everything can happen under that name.

I know how reckless is that, you were writing your thoughts on a paper. Once the dwarfs you invited to yourself saw the letter, they would give it to Neige. And you two would no longer have anyone who could undo anything. But think about it, Neige! If we may finally be together, isn't it a great chance?

You reassured him in the letter that you would wake up after few days. You also highlighted that he doesn't have to use your plan and let you two fight against the darker side of Wonderland together. He could just let you have week-long beauty sleep and with a fresh mind, try to solve your problems by less drastic measures: the press or announcements.

Maybe you were only overthinking and complicating the situation too much.

Your most loving fan, [Name]

You signed yourself and closed the envelope.

Your gaze returned to the sleeping potion. I am exaggerating, you thought. Your plans could fit into a script of a good film but in real life? What you were about to do felt... irrational and foolish.

Maybe you would change your mind if not the rush.

Once you heard footsteps on the floor and your friends, dwarfs, calling your name, you knew it is time to make a decision.

You quickly unscrewed the bottle and put it in your mouth. The sweet, sleepy fragrance with a hint of rosemary sent you to a sleep that devotedly resembled a death. The crash and sound of breaking glass as you fell to the ground immediately alerted everyone in the mansion. You couldn't hear the accelerated footsteps, screams, cries and commotion that was going on over you.

Before anyone could think to do something other than trying to wake you up and calling the hospital, the letter with your plan flew outside the window.

That night you broke two things: the promise you made to Vil and a heart of Neige.

◆◆◆

The death of [Name], the fiancée of the most adored man in the world.

Marriage cancelled? The mystery behind the death of [Name] [Surname].

A Dead bride.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

Neige scrolled through the media, each article made his heart ache. He ignored a great count of calls and didn't manage to appear at your funeral in time.

He was a broken toy, who just lost its batteries. He was a wrack of what he was before. Beautiful on the outside, blank on the inside.

Wearing a dark, a bit too oversized suit, he laid against one of the roadside trees. He closed his eyes, trying not to focus on any people, buildings or sounds except his breath. It was slow and steady until he remembered why he tries to calm down; then he would choke on his breath, tears falling from his eyes and trying to not lose balance.

"Would you like an apple?"

Neige wiped his tears in a sleeve and slowly turned around to see an old lady behind a stall. It was ruined and seemed unattended for years. The counter was doty, wood softened and tore off in big pieces by the wind and rain. Between beautifully decorated shops and cafes, this stall seemed to be a remnant that no one ever wanted to touch.

"Thank you, but I am fine." Neige replied in his polite tone, but the smile he sent her looked like nothing near 'fine'. "I am not allowed to take anything from strangers, but that is really kind of you!"

"Not just a bite?" the lady continued, putting an apple on the counter. It was brown, slightly green, and Neige would never guess it was an apple. Maybe more like a rotten apple, but no one would say that this apple was unfresh. Adversely, it contained freshness, but not of the common kind. "Wouldn't you like to join your lover?"

Neige held his breath.

"You mean... to die?"

"What I mean has no value. You will understand it the other way, even if I tried to explain," she replied. Her voice was squeaky as she repeated the question the same enigmatic way she did the first time. "So, would you like an apple?"

"No, thank you..." Neige bowed slightly. He hesitated, before trying his best to speak up. "I- I think [Name] would hate me dying. Only if she could understand this too..."

"Maybe she did" the lady replied. There was conviction in her voice, and Neige couldn't help but take her words seriously. "Or maybe not."

Neige hoped you did. How he loved you and how your death changed him from the happiest man in the world, the saddest one. He didn't know why you took your life and why he didn't notice anything before. He regretted spending not as much time with you as he wanted to.

But nothing could be done to change the past.

"I will get going," Neige said. He glanced towards the old lady, who smiled at him and showed some of her lacking teeth. "And... could you fetch me this apple, please?"

◆◆◆

Once Neige's gaze settled on your figure, the world was immediately forgotten.

He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears much more than silence who was your only companion.

No flowers, candles and golden ornaments of the church could divide Neige's attention, as his pace fastened with every step he made towards you. He didn't hesitate to lock his fingers with yours. He squeezed them, wishing his warmth could reach you.

"[Name]..." he whispered, getting his face closer to your sleeping face. He gently removed the lost strands of hair from your face, not believing that you won't wake up anymore. As much as he wanted to, no mage in Twisted Wonderland could bring the dead back to life. At least not in human's form. "I love you so much. T-too much, I think. How can I live without... my life?"

He gave you one last 'farewell' kiss on the lips, his body next to yours. "See you soon, [Name]."

His expression is the softest one he ever wore, as he reaches for an apple.

He bit it.

And then 'died'.

No sooner than the poison completely took control of his body, you woke up.

"Neige...?" you murmured, bringing your hand to his cheek. The anxiety mingled with your thoughts once you look around yourself. "We are... in a coffin?" You sat. It required effort, after not using muscles for a whole week. By the time, you took a break, you conjectured what happened. You jerked your head around and let your hands cup your lover's face. "Ple-please, please, Neige, don't do this to me. Please."

He didn't respond and the bitterness you tasted when you kissed his still warm lips confirmed that he didn't use Vil's potion. He was poisoned, and the amount left on his lips wasn't enough to take you to the same place as him. "Why didn't left anything for me? Neige..."

Your eye caught the glimmer. You went closer to notice the dagger, resting on the floor. It wasn't that visible as the weapon would be, and until you were a step from it, you could see how thin the blade was. As edge as sturdy.

The fear paralyzed you, as you came back to the coffin. But the remorse and the sight of your lover's dead body were stronger. Your whole body was shivering, a tremor affecting you more than you could ever imagine, making you go mad. Insane.

With one sharp move, you dug the blade into your chest, scared and closing your eyes.

"I am a fool."

By the time anyone arrives, it is too late to rescue you or stop the poison coursing through Neige's veins.

◆◆◆

In the morning sun rises, and everyone in Wonderland wakes up.

It is also the first time in two years since Neige fell asleep.

He can't feel anything. He can't sense the flaxen shirt the doctors changed him in. He can't get his mind through the haze, that has been floating around his thoughts just after he drank the poison. He can't answer the calls of the doctors and his friends, dwarfs, who are gathering around his bed.

But he can open his eyes.

And once he does, the silence is overcoming. When the fact finally sinks in everyone's heart, a great cheer flies across the room. Some of the gathered give Neige comforting touch or reassuringly squeeze his hand.

It takes him some time to realize what is happening, why is he in the hospital room, why people are crying around him and why you aren't the first one he sees once he wakes up. His habit of kicking you while sleeping was something you complained and teased him about. Even if he didn't wake you in his sleep, when he was getting up, his knee would always hit your arm or stomach, waking you up and having you buck him off the bed as revenge.

What he also can do, except for trying to stay awake and catching things his visitors chatter around him, is to try to remember. He didn't lose his memories! It just needs some effort to get them back from the darkest recesses of his mind! And then to regret it.

A whole wave of memories hits him like a tsunami, not leaving him space to breathe and see anything else than chaos, now replaced by the memories of you two.

The kisses. The promises. The vowes. The proposal. The struggles. The tenacity to get over your problems. The plan. The dead body of yours.

He doesn't have to turn around to know that you aren't in a hospital bed beside him. He remembered some of the talks of his friends when he was sleeping. Now everyone is waiting for him to return.

"Neige! You've finally woke up, huh!" Che'nya chippers, his voice cracking at last words. He is relieved about the news and only bad Neige's condition stops him from throwing himself at his arms and spreading the revelation to everyone... No, not even Neige himself can stop him from the latter.

Neige wasn't going to stop him. His mind still replayed the "finally woke up" part, as if the film stopped at the most painful scene, then broke and started to replay the scene once again. And again.

He turned his head on the side, letting the tears run down his cheeks.

He really can't feel anything.

"That," Neige manages to whisper under his breath. It is the first time he tries to say anything, and grievously struggles to put his words together. "is- is... so cruel." Everyone stared at him in silence, the same way they did when Neige and his dead lover were found. His cry brings tears to everyone's eyes, having many people bow under the weight of sorrow and put a hand over their lips to not let themself break again. "I didn't want to wake up..!"

[venom-system]

i very recently came to the conclusion that I may have DID and at least two more alters, out of wich i'm only "getting to know" one.

the problem is everyone's experience with DID here on tumblr seems to be the same, and it confuses me. not that their experiences aren't valid.

speaking hypotetically since I don't want to assume anything until I get a clear diagnosis, if I were to have DID i'd have at least two more alters. for now, ive only been semi-conscious about potentially switching at least once, and as I did, i realized it wasn't the first time. when it happened, I barely had control over myself and what I was doing, and when I snapped out of it my mood changed drastically. as I said, not the first time.

it's all extremely blurry right now, i can't actually interact in any way with this possible alter, and they don't seem to have a sense of self/identity, at least for now. i briefly refer to them as 2, and have associated some traits to them that I've been noticing. so when others talk about how their alters all have names and distinct personalities and feel like actual people, it makes me slightly lose hope that this might not be the right hypotetical diagnosis.

yet I have almost every other symptom of DID, the most prominent one being memory loss, and I do have to say I endured quite a lot of emotional trauma the past 18 years. not to mention that since my thinking is mostly visual, it's hard not to notice when it seems like theres another voice in my head.

so, i'd love to hear your opinion. do you think there may be a possibility i have DID? or am I just overthinking it too much?

Hey,

sorry that it took me so long to respond but I have to focus in 100% when messages are long, I don't want to miss any part of it.

I don't know if you heard about OSDD-1A

You have amnesia like in DID system but your alters are.. you.

They have their own memories, they have their own hobbies, age, style, gender but they represent one person.

For example you but 12 years old you.

Talking about alters- to diagnose DID or OSDD you need just one alter = you + someone.

When switch in DID system takes a place you can't remember what happend, because ''someone'' else takes control of your body.

In OSDD-1B system you can remember when it happend, it can be blurry sometimes but you don't have amnesia.

You don't have to be a system to have some kind of dissociative disorder. That's why you can feel like someone else or have a feeling that you can't control your body. Dissociation + personality disorder= ''idk if it's still me or maybe someone else''. As you probably know you can loss your time or have a problem with your memory because of dissociation as well.

Another thing is- don't take everything on tumblr serious.

The truth is- every system is different and people like to misinterpret everything.

Some systems can't talk with eatch other , some of them can but after therapy process.

Switch is not like a super power or something, it doesn't work like this.

Sometimes you can say when it is happening but usually, expectly when you are ''new'' system you won't even know about it. That's why sometimes people are diagnose with DID when they are 60+.

Switch in OSDD-1B (usually, no, you are not alone) doesn't look like- I was green and now im red- it's more like... I'm yellow (if it makes sense for you).

You don't really feel like you are someone else ''now'' because you will always be you. You can see a difference in your actions or you can wonder why you did something even if you can't imagine to do it right now but that's all. Zero magic, zero fireworks.

Your body is not like a robot (still writing about OSDD-1B system)= someone else takes control while you sit and watch. There is no wall you stand behind. It's more like you are in the balloon, you never know which way the wind will blow and what your reaction will be. Sometimes the balloon bursts and you are here again wondering why you even flew when you are afraid of it...

(sorry for so much metaphor, but it's hard to explain otherwise)

Plus you don't have to have names and backstories to be 100% valid system.

I think that most of the people on tumblr experience DID/OSDD the same way because rest of them just remain silent.

Alters comunicate in their own way- they don't have to talk to you. Sometimes they can show you something, sometimes it's just a thought in your head but you can feel it doesn't belong to you.

Sorry that it took me so long to respond- once again.

If you have any questions I'm here for you.

I hope it helped you.

Thank you for your question

- Karina

[fenoderee]

薫 [Guitar] Interview

Let's start with an interview with Kaoru, the main composer of the Band. He has been steering the Band in the direction of what he feels is new and interesting musically, but in what mode has he been working on the music now, and how did he complete the new song "Oboro"?

Nothing is interesting if it's exactly what you think it is at the beginning, but it becomes interesting if you think "it could look like this" and continue drawing.

-Since we're doing this remotely, I'm also curious about where you are now... Is it your home studio?

Kaoru: It's like a studio, a place where I write songs and draw pictures.

-A place where you can concentrate on one work. Have you had a studio for quite some time?

Kaoru: About five years ago. I've been using it since I started writing songs for 'The Insulated World' (released September 2018).

-I'm also curious about the monitor screen behind you, which I assume you're still writing songs on.

Kaoru: No, this is just the data for "Oboro". There's also a guitar in the composition.

-It's a studio that you can use freely 24 hours a day, are you the type of person who sets aside time to write songs?

Kaoru: Basically, I do, but it depends on the moment. When I'm in the mood, I don't need to set a time to write.

-I've heard that you've been writing songs for your next album for quite some time?

Kaoru: Yes. We started writing songs before we had finished "The Insulated World." I don't know if they will end up on the album or not, but I started writing them anyway.

-The style of your previous work was also key in terms of what inspired you to write a song and how you think about it, but what did you see in "The Insulated World“ that made you want to pursue it further?

Kaoru: To put it simply, I wanted to create something more intense. The last album was made with the intention of creating something intense, and the album before that "ARCHE" (released in December 2014), was a straightforward package of what we had created at that time. For the next album, I want to make sure that the songs I've chosen are the only ones I can think of. In that sense, I want to make a very intense album. I don't want it to be an intense album, or a slow album, or anything like that, but I want it to be a whole piece of work.

-Do you write your songs with the whole album in mind, rather than just one song at a time?

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. But when we first started writing the songs, I had a feeling about it, but I hadn't told the band yet.

-What kind of sounds and phrases come to you as a starting point when you are conscious of wanting to make something strong?

Kaoru: The way we create doesn't change much. It doesn't matter what the starting point is. I just start writing and then somewhere along the line I start to betray myself. I'll put in a phrase that sounds different. It's all about making the song more interesting. It's more like if you start off with the right idea, the song won't expand from there. I'm trying to find songs where I can find the unexpected.

-Do you also do some kind of input work to draw your own inspiration?

Kaoru: I do input, but I don't know if it's open or not. When I sit down in my studio and think "Come on, let's do it", I don't really think about anything else.

-Do you feel that starting to draw together has given some kind of feedback to your music?

Kaoru: I thought there would be, but not really (laughs). It's still the same, both in terms of salary and songs. If I tried to create it myself, I'd end up thinking in a very unorthodox way. The more I draw, the more I think the same way as I do when I write songs. It's not interesting if it's exactly what I had in mind from the start, but if I start drawing randomly and when something comes out, I think "it could look like this", and then I go on with it and it becomes interesting.

-So you don't like the fact that you can predict what you are going to do?

Kaoru: Yes. But in the case of a song, you can say "I've tried it, but I think I'll redo it", but with a picture, once you've put in one stroke, you can say "Oh, it's not the same", so the tension is different in that respect.

-Returning to the subject of one song, last year DIR EN GREY released "Ochita Koto no Aru Sora" as a download. When was this song born?

Kaoru: Last spring...well, it's been around for a while. It was a song that we had been working on. We reworked it and made it again.

-Were you in the mode of "I want to make it strong" from that point on?

Kaoru: I think we were in that mode, but I have an image of that song as a single, so it's a bit different. I wanted to put it together as a single, but with an unexpected twist. So it's a mixture of mellow, loud and core.

-But I think you felt you were able to move forward with one new song. Was there anything that came out of that?

Kaoru: It's still like we're trying to get our hands on something that's shrouded in mist. I'm still struggling with it.

-From what point did you start to make "This Single"?

Kaoru: Unusually for me, I started with a chord progression. I thought it would make a beautiful song. But as a song it was just a chord progression and I didn't have a definitive image yet. So I gave the members a listen to the song and said "Let's try it".

-Did you write the chord progressions while playing the guitar?

Kaoru: No, the keyboard. I thought it would be easier to understand the development of the song if I added the guitar when I played it for the members, so I did, but I hadn't added it before.

-A single keyboard is an instrument that makes it easy to visually see how the notes are stacked. Do you find it easier to move on to something unexpected if you use such an instrument?

Kaoru: When I'm creating phrases on the keyboard, I'm only imagining how the song will go. It's not that I'm trying to make the sound pile up purely because it's on the keyboard, but simply because it's easier to see than playing the guitar. This was especially true for "Oboro" and nowadays I always review the notes once on the keyboard. I also created "The World of Mercy" (released in September 2019) on the keyboard at first. When I added guitars to it, the song changed drastically.

-"Oboro" is finished in an arrangement that incorporates strings, but is the rough phrase of strings in your head from the beginning?

Kaoru: I didn't include it in the demo stage. In fact, I was thinking of not including it. But when I created the guitar solo and was thinking about what to do before it, I came up with the idea of strings. I put them in, and it worked out well, so I decided to put strings in the second half as well.

-So the guitar solo led to the string arrangement.

Kaoru: To put it coolly, yes (laughs). For a while we were trying to get rid of the guitar solo, but recently we've been trying to add the flavor of the guitar solo to the songs. I was struggling with this until about halfway through, when I really thought the guitar solo was necessary. Even now, there are times when I don't think it's necessary. But this is the same idea I had when I started adding guitar solos again. I grew up with that kind of music, and I was always impressed by the cool guitar solos of my favorite artists. I don't think solos are really necessary in this day and age, but as long as it's not too dull, it's okay. That's why I think about the phrases I use in my solos, but it's not like I have any deep feelings about them.

-When you were thinking about the phrases and melody for the guitar solo, did you have a song in mind yet?

Kaoru: I had a tentative song in mind, but I hadn't finished the verses yet.

-Oh, really? It's a solo with a melody and tone that fits the color of the poem very well.

Kaoru: So maybe it was my mouth that called up this poem (laughs).

-I'll say it, brother!

Kaoru: That's a lie, a lie (laughs). When I was thinking about the guitar solo, I felt like I was drawing a picture. I was trying to figure out what kind of sound I wanted the chords to make while creating a certain atmosphere. It's like I'm trying to figure out what emotion I want to put into it. The general idea was to keep the first phrase as it was, but change the nuances in the details.

It's limited, so you can't do something like a power collision, but it will surely be a live that is nothing but DIR EN GREY's live.

-You're a real romantic when you can get away with this kind of melody and arrangement.

Kaoru: Yeah, that's right (laughs).

-Another thing I noticed was how few guitar tracks there were. Is this a result of your desire for a change in the construction of the sound?

Kaoru: I think a lot of people feel that this song is easy to understand, but we just didn't make it easy to hear everything. If you listen to it carefully, it's actually not an easy song to understand at all...let's just say that (laughs). If you listen to it thinking that you can hear everything that is in it, you will never hear it. In fact, there are many "sounds" that are far away. I put them in such a way that you can't hear them. So I'm trying to make you feel it. I think the guitars in this song are meant to be felt. I don't want you to listen to it, but to feel it. That's why it doesn't come out with a bang, but there's something there. The number of tracks is smaller than in the days of "Dum Spiro Spero" (Continued in August 2011), but I thought it would be more interesting to let the listener hear that there are actually various sounds at key points. In that sense, I want the album to be dense.

-Did you come up with such a clever method while struggling with the music in your secret studio?

Kaoru: I'm basically twisted (laughs). But when I think something is not interesting, I naturally come up with something like that. When the album finally comes out, I think it's OK as long as everything is interesting and fits together. It's not like I haven't done this before, but this time I took the plunge.

-In this case, I think you have to be very careful about sound awards and mix balance. What kind of instructions did you give during the recording process?

Kaoru: I didn't make any detailed instructions. I just recorded it normally, reamped it in the studio, and at the last minute asked the engineer, "This is how I want it". The rest was left to the mix engineer. However, I had already talked with the members at the pre-production stage. I wanted the whole thing to sound like a warble, and the guitars were relatively up front. When it came time to mix it, I tried to make it more of a feeling than a sound.

-Neil Avalon was the mix engineer, was it easy to convey the subtle nuances?

Kaoru: Neil seemed to understand. Even so, it was difficult to convey even the most recognizable nuances, and I had many exchanges.

-You said you were going to have him play the guitar, but could you give us some pointers on "this part is actually the guitar"?

Kaoru: To make it easy to understand, in the A melody, there's a kind of arpeggio that goes back and forth. It's like a single note phrase.

-Is it an echo-like effect with a lot of depth?

Kaoru: Yes, yes. That's the one that's actually getting straightened out little by little (laughs). But you can't tell unless you listen carefully. The first shot is a bit choppy, so you can understand it, but the second half is very year-round and you may not understand it. It's interesting to understand.

-As I unraveled Oboro, using what you taught me as a hint, I felt like I was getting deeper and deeper into it.

Kaoru: Yes, I think it will be fun, so please listen carefully. Well, I'll try not to make you sit down (laughs).

-I'm a passenger, though, lol.

Kaoru: It's just something I came up with. But it wouldn't be interesting to have a song where everything is played, or where all the voices are heard, or where all the sounds of the five players must be heard because it's a band. If that's the case, then the guitar doesn't have to be played loudly.

-Did completing this song make what you wanted to do for the album clearer?

Kaoru: It's just that now that "Oboro" is done, I don't think there will be any more songs like this one (laughs). But we originally wrote this song as a ballad, and the album's ballad will be released as a single first. "Oboro" exists in my mind only as a single song, so I think I need a song with a different selection.

-Are you starting to give shape to it?

Kaoru: No, it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of time for me and my team members to get to know each other. It's hard to find something that says, "Oh, you don't have to think that hard". So I try not to think about it (laughs).

-That's just like Dr. Den who is in album production mode (laughs). I always send the best car with the best machine to the landing place.

Kaoru: It's true. I can't decide, or rather I don't want to decide. I want to use the possibilities to the fullest as they grow. The members say to me, "Shouldn't you decide what kind of album you want to make?“ I usually answer, "No, I'd like to keep it a little more vague“. This always lasts until the second half of the album production (laughs).

-Since last year you haven't been able to perform live as much as you'd like, does that put you in a better frame of mind to concentrate on writing songs?

Kaoru: We haven't toured for a year now, we used to tour twice a year. Now I think there were hints in the casual conversations I had with the members in the dressing rooms before the gigs. I would get an idea for a song from a casual conversation, like "this song might fit this way". So I think it would be better if I had a chance to talk to the band members.

-Conversations with the members are different during the writing period and in the dressing room. In the dressing room, they might express their honest opinions, so it's easier to understand what they are thinking about.

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. It's hard to see because we don't have that now.

-Is your biggest input from your members?

Kaoru: I want to make decisions myself, but there are many things I can't decide. If the members say "it's good", I think "oh, it's good". I don't know if it's the right answer on my own.

-At the audience concert in May, I was asked to start by talking with the 5 members in the dressing room.

Kaoru: I don't think we have time for that (laughs). It's been a long time since I've been to a live concert.

-When the magazine goes on sale, the live performance will be in a few days. It's been a long time since you've done a live power exchange with the audience, how are you feeling now?

Kaoru: I sent my ideas for the setlist to the members just the other day, but no one responded, so I don't know if they think it's okay or if they'll think about it after rehearsal (laughs). I'm not sure how that will feel. But I'm not worried at all. I'm sure it will be nothing but a DIR EN GREY concert. Also, in a situation like this, everyone has their own opinion, and it doesn't mean that those who come to see the show are right. It will be the first one, or the beginning, or if it is the first step to get something, it will be the second step, so I would like to think about it after we try it.

Text/ YUKINOBU HASEGAWA, HIROKI KATAGIRI [GiGS/Equipment]

Photo/ REISHI EGUMA [C-LOVe CREATORS]

Translations by me.