#it makes me so goddamn mad
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everyday i think about the fact if you are a "troublesome patient" doctors can write down in your notes that you dont follow instructions or arent very specific and are hard to work with/hysterical/literally anything and itll stay on your record forever and influence how other doctors will treat you and if they wil take you seriously or not
#sure if you know the medical system you can find a way to get the doctor to remove it or appeal for it to get removed#but even then its so kuch work to do that if the doctors a fucking dipshit#and it happens with everything. you could just misexplain smth the first time then revise your statement#and if your doctor does not like you they will write down that you lie about your symptoms in yhe notes#it makes me so goddamn mad
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On one hand: my desire to take a film and/or literary studies course.
On the other: my inextricable desire to throttle anyone who disagrees with my media analysis and opinions.
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i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.
it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.
it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)
it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.
#''but i just want to use it to--'' don't care! it's shit! stop fucking feeding it!#if you need help generating ideas or jumping off points then join an artist or writer group online#talk to people#make connections#that's what art and writing is supposed to be about in the first place#i'm mad as hell etc.#so goddamn sick and tired of seeing ai shit get passed around on here#it's bad enough in general but every time i see more of it showing up#tagged as fan art or as fic#the angrier i get#heartfelt imperfection in art and writing will always ALWAYS be worth more than the most technically ''perfect'' ai generated image or text#fandom problems#ai generation algorithms die in a fire challenge 2k23#just a heads up that i'm muting this post and will no longer see responses to it#because i'm tired of seeing dogshit takes from jackasses who want to ''debate'' me#there's no debate you're in the wrong on literally every level and you can die mad about it
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@zuperpizzatowerartizt my cool redraw
#pizza tower#IM GONNA SCREAM#emmet arty#PIZZAHEAD MAKES ME SO MAD I FUCING. I FUCKING. IM GLAD I DREW HIM LIKE THAT.#I HATE HIS GODDAMN HAIRCUT#AAHAHJAHAHAHHHA#i had so much fun drawing this IM SERIOUS.
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stop mocking ppl with schizophrenia. stop making fun of them for being weird. stop seeing them as dangerous monsters. it's fucking 2024! why are you STILL dehumanizing ppl with schizophrenia?!!
#not me hearing a stranger joking about it#calling someone 'schizophrenic' for being. 'weird'.#i think#good fucking lorddddd#it baffles me that so many 'progressives' do this shit#trust me my classmates make ableist jokes the entire goddamn time#and they're all 'leftists' and hell even neurodivergent themselves#but i bet they're gonna make jokes about it and not give a shit about ppl who feel uncomfortable#this makes me so mad you have no idea#ableism tw#lotus.txt
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fucking pretty~🎃
#he looks like he’s listening so intently#that level of focus#he’s so goddamn beautiful#and look at that pretty nose#like honestly#he’s so genuinely beautiful#makes me so fucking mad#he’s so fucking pretty#u g h#frnkiebby#frank iero#mcr#frnkiero#mcrmy#frnkie#mcr5#my chemical romance#my chem#ilhsm
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another day has passed and i’m still fucking wondering why the hell jennifer was found in a goddamn squid
#STEVE BLACKMAN#IF YOU DO ANYTHING#ANYTHING AT ALL#CAN YOU PLEASE ANSWER THIS QUESTION#WHY THE HELL WAS SHE INSIDE OF A SQUID#god there are SO many things about season 4 that were great in theory and had such cool ideas behind them#but weren’t explained enough or given enough time to let the audience understand#if we had cut out all the five x lila stuff#if we’d cut out klaus’ sex trafficking plot line#IF WE’D CUT OUT ALL THE USELESS JABS AT DIEGO’S WEIGHT OR ALLISON NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH#WE WOULDVE HAD ENOUGH TIME TO EXPLAIN JENNIFER#OR THE SUBWAY#OR SLOANE AND RAY’S ABSENCES#fuck this show makes me mad. because i LOVE IT SO MUCH#what a goddamn letdown#laur says stuff#laur rambles#tua s4 hater !!!!!!!#anti five x lila#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#tua s4#hargreeves siblings#tua season 4#number five#tua five#tua s4 spoilers#tua season 4 spoilers
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I've been holding it in but god I've decided to relisten to Taz: Suffering Game and Reunion tour after getting the graphic novel and god, the amount of titular moments they cut are just devastating, like some of them I get, but god, they should have just made them 2 seperate books, the fact they cut 2 of my absolute favorite scenes, scenes that still hit me today relistening the same way they did when I was 13, listening to this story for the first time, really hurts, they removed the whole argument in Fantasy Costco over Magnus returning to his body, the "those are the arms that have held my wife" that scene made me cry when I first heard it, and it makes me cry now, and I'm not sure if that's because it hurts, or because knowing the loss of such a beautiful story in adaptation, they should have made them 2 seperate books, I don't care if I have to pay extra for another book, I just wanted this story I love so much to feel right, and im terrified for the next book, what's the point of adapting this story if its at the cost of what makes it beautiful
#the adventure zone#the adventure zone graphic novel#taz graphic novel#taz balance#taz reunion tour#taz graphic novel spoilers#god it makes me so unbelievably mad im actually so upset#this is also like my actual extreme special interest#it came into my life at such a tumultuous time and its so unbelievably important to me#its also 3am so maybe thats particularly why im so upset but goddamn i need a hug rn#might delete later#depending on the reception from yall
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I hope we get a scene of Alicent with Aegon's body. If her son is damned to die, if she is damned to spiral into insanity, if she is to lose her life too the grief, let me see her with his body.
let her hold her baby in her arms one more time. let her wipe the blood that poured from his mouth and nose as he died. let her run her fingers over the viscous burns that adorn his skin. let her fix his hair. let her bathe him with a cloth as she had when he was a babe. let her kiss his cheek, his forehead, his hair, his hands. let her lay her head against him, hugging him like she had failed to do for years.
he was her firstborn and yet, her heart was still beating and his was not, she was not yet cold in her grave, no, no her son was cold, her flesh was warm, too warm. he was her baby, her son, the boy she tried so hard to protect, who had loved even when it hurt, who she had stood in front of a dragon for. she loved him, the very bones of him, and now he was dead.
let her lose her mind right there, in that room, still clinging to her body, one that's too cold, too still, too quiet. let her scream out to the gods, damning them, cursing them for taking her eldest son, amongst everything else in her life.
I want her to drive away anyone who tries to take him from her, forcing the silent sisters or whoever would be left to deal with his body at that point. let her curse and spit and claw at anyone who comes too close.
she would stay there for hours, reflecting on her memories of him. maybe she talks to him or hums a lullaby until she finally loses her battle with what remains of her consciousness and sanity, falling still against the table.
she dreams of Aegon, she dreams of the life she wish she could have provided, the life she had tried so hard to give him. a life where he was safe, a life where she had been a better mother, a life where she didn't need to live in and impose fear up on her children. maybe if she had tried hard enough he would still be alive, she'll think as she floats in the space between consciousness and unconsciousness.
she'll wake in plain chambers she only partly recognizes, she'll learn of her sons lackluster and sparsly accompanied burning, she'll learn her son was gone and she was alone. there won't be much of her left to care. she just continues dreaming, dreaming of her dead children and spiraling to madness until her broken heart finally gives out.
[my previous post inspired this, cause all I can think about now is Alicent mourning her son and its gonna put me in an early grave]
#[I know she isn't with him in the book but shhhhhh enoughs already changed let me be delusional]#I don't want to see this happen. my girl need a goddamn break. but if its gonna happen just demolish my heart in one foul swoop#all or nothing#cause if I watch a slow decent into madness I'm going with her#let her break quick and fast for my sake#I haven't read the book (as i've said a trillion times before. I'll get to it eventually) so take this with a grain of salt#I don't think book alicent didn't love her children#I do think the love she held for them and the love show alicent held for them is very different simply due to circumstance#and I don't think show alicent is lasting very long after Aegon's death#i wouldn't be surprised if she died of a broken heart shortly after him#part of me fucking prays for it cause I don't know if I'll be able to cope with her grieving for 2 years#my heart just can't#and she doesn't deserve it#just let her reunite with her children and be at peace#don't make her suffer#let her say goodbye to her baby. give her closure. let her go#I beg#alicent hightower#pro alicent hightower#aegon ii#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#pro team green#hotd#house of the dragon#its fine. I'm fine. I totally like my emotions.
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old format but shh i only just thought of this one
#clai's art#clai's ocs#oc: alto#i draw them at peak happiness so often it almost feels weird to depict them not smiling. even though like. this Is their default#they're not even mad rn thats just their resting face#the unfortunate thing about me is i like characters (my own and others) for their flaws and everything. However#i only like drawing silly goofy fun stuff so i rarely ever explore those things and it makes me look like i dont get them. i am sorry HAJHDJ#idk how you can feel like you're mischaracterizing your own oc but goddamn i did it#completely unrelated rant in tags sorry. go back to the silly alto meme ok <3
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I fucking hate it here. How does he manage to get so much support as such a horrible person. I don't give a fuck about your stupid goddamn non-issue made into an issue with your imagination with immigrants or the goddamn gas prices or your inability to find affordable groceries because they DO EXIST. I don't understand how you could ever vote for a man who has been DENOUNCED by SEVERAL PEOPLE, REPUBLICANS!!! WHO WORKED WITH HIM, who incited outrage among his weird followers in 2020 by falsely claiming that the election was "stolen" from him with NO PROOF OF THAT HAPPENING, who has made SEVERAL racist and misogynistic comments, and you all just let him off.
#i know the election hasn't been called yet but i'm giving up now because it's not looking promising#no matter who the opponent is how could anyone vote for someone so horrible#how do you not see#god just make it end already#get it over with#i don't believe in the fucking blue shift anymore for this election just rip the goddamn bandaid off#210 to 230 almost all the swing states left are leaning red just fucking end it#i can't take this shit anymore#us elections#2024 presidential election#my dad asked me if i want to go anywhere tomorrow and i said no and he said why and i said guess#and he doesn't get it#because he's a fucking trump supporter and he's happy#and here i am#unhappy#and you know what he did when i got mad that he didn't get it and just told him?#he laughed. right in my face. my own dad. he doesn't listen to anything i say ever.
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WATER SEVEN BABYYYYY
Look at robin reacting when luffy says he wont give her up.... 🥺🥺
This is a joke right now but its actually a one piece tenet aldjsisjka
Usopp aksbaksjakqk the foreshadow is foreshadowing... Also Robin being happy with the crew after the Aokiji incident... Fuck!!!!
Sanji thinking robin just vanished or flew away and suddenly usopp is soaring thru the skies... imagine
AAAAARGGGGHHHH YOU CAN SEE THE GEARS TURNING
Zoro talking to merry..... only while he is alone of course
Why are nami and sanji matching ajdhakjsk look at the citrus sisters
Carpenter: maybe it was the government
Gov agent: I don't think so, also don't say that they are everywhere
LUFFY SUPPORTS WOMEN'S WRONGS!!!
Don't scream att chopper like that!!! Look at him... So small....
Imu tease???? (No) (Also I've changed websites again bc the translation is kinda off , I can't find a good quality b&w spanish translation and the colors scare me (i want the real manga experience))
GET HIM ICEBURG!!!!
I truly forgor if this is just a lie about her wanting to find the rio poneglyphs or genuine because she wants to die and will do it for them... because in skypiea she says she is not interested in the weapons so maybe if the gov pardons her but considering what she wants is illegal then idk abdjabjs this is such a dumb thing to forget... like thats important girl where did it go (reading this after remembering and it's kinda funny... i will make any sacrifice to kill myself (and keep you safe)... she goes HARD)
Little paulie and mozu and kiwi.... omg hello (the SBS says the twins wanted to be shipwrights too omg)
Franky's backstory is small but it does so much for me like it is so central to the themes... boats and people...
DID SOMEBODY ORDER MORE TRAGIC BROTHERS?
The fact that franky needs to learn this lesson to pass it on to robin.... do you understand how big this is.... also Tom does exactly as he says and takes responsibility for franky and what he has done... because he has done nothing wrong AND THAT'S HIS SON and he just punched spandam bc he wanta him to feel the pain franky feels... Tom is such a man..... proud of having built eater 7 up with the sea train.... goes out with a boom.... should we all kill ourselves....
I am crying again................... franky my god.... and the fucking frog!!! And of course franky can't stop Tom's hope for his island... of course he can't.... he hasnt learnt the lesson yet but this guy isn't over yet!! He has a life of being a pervert cyborg ahead!!! Iceburg following Tom's footsteps but franky not being able to do that bc of his guilt....
This is one of the coolest things chopper has done btw...
NAMII 😭😭😭
Robin damning the world for her crew when all she has ever done is damn her companions for her own sake.... how big is this...
I can't take this...... it's always nami in these positions... it happens AGAIN in Zou with Sanji... there is no way
The love letter gag is too good like damn that's so funny
AND IT'S NAMI GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!! SHE LOVES ROBIN SO MUCH!!!!
#OOOH GRANDPA TEASE!!! he wanted to see luffy too?? omg and he owes garp a favor so he is going to kill him... alright then....#robin attacking FIRST and ZORO coming to her defense!!! CHEFS KISS!!! INCREDIBLE#my GOD!!! ROBIN WANTING TO LEAVE HER PAST BEHIND BC SHE TRULY HAS BEEN CHANGED BY THEM AAAAHHHH#this is so good... aokiji had to end crocodile and he still has a debt to someone (garp?) AND smoker told him stuff about luffy too#kokoro is such an mvp... be careful with the government agents she says.... hell yeah they should do that#the people in water 7 just giving advice to the pirates akdhaksjak sure go fix your boat but down there#robin laughing like ufufufu is so cute... also kalifa knowing everything bc she is literally a gov agent 💀 ICEBURG WAKE UP!!!#lucci pulling out the ship of theseus response akdhakaj conundrum solved everyone!!!#usopp is so heartbreaking already... beaten he goes to franky to get his money back knowing he will lose bc he wants to fix the merry... go#zoro cutting steel like its nothing... yeahhhhh also does luffy think the ship and usopp are like sanji and the baratie??#he wants to sacrifice himself for it but doesn't realize his life is the treasure and not the thing... luffy realizing this is not worth it#the fight was insane.... usopp feels useless and is enmeshed with the merry so he won't let it go and tells luffy does not care when he doe#so luffy gets mad at usopp for lying and not understanding what is going on and says he is not a carpenter (true but hurts) so he is nothin#god it is so bad... sanji breaking p the fight is so important AFTER zoro says to calm down and talk but they rile each other up...#THE DIALOGUE IS INSANE!!!! USOPP IN DENIAL AND LUFFY TAKES ALL OF HIS BAIT IT'S JUST SO AJDBAKSNSKN AND THE ONLY LIES ARE WHAT USOPP THINKS#ABOUT LUFFY!!!! BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND!! HE JUST FEELS!! HE SAW MERRY!! THE ONLY ONE!!!#luffy just laying on the hammock for hours... telling nami usopp wouldnt give up his life for an argument... then he only needs to fight...#is luffy fighting usopp just so he can de stress kind of??? like he is letting him get his punches in and then he will come back#once he thinks things through... like nami did... and what sanji ends up doing too... like just give him what he wants#luffy likes fighting friends even and this is the only fight he doesn't want.... the merry crying GOD!!!!#the impact dial... it hurts them both.... jesus.... luffy got two hits in but those were enough.... they are making nami cry SANJI KILL THE#everyone is crying but sanji and zoro akdjsks yeah luffy got him what he wanted... he can keep the ship but he can't beat him#and after all if strength is made by conviction luffy knows he is right and usopp is just in denial... so of course he would lose#franky reveal and Robin assassin reveal at the same time.... just remembered when usopp asked her specialty and robin said assassinations 😭#luffy nami adventures hell yeah.... and theres even more after the aqua laguna... LETSGOOOOO#goddamn you can see the thread of kuzan finding robin with the strawhats to then cp9 forcing her to act in water seven....#franky acting weird because he is worried about iceburg... i know it...#iceburg: its weird youre working for the government... but thats for the audience to worry about. not for me#pluton was built on water seven ✍️✍️✍️ also iceburg saying weapons are bad no matter who holds them... yeah franky would agree#reading one piece
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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it sucks so bad loving a series that is terrible
#deity dialogue#I love fairy tail unfortunately it pisses me off what do you mean that it’s still going what do you mean nalu isn’t canon yet but Levi and#gajeel the man who crucified her to a goddamn tree became canon like so quickly#it makes me mad hiro mashima I hate you
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John Fox is such an interesting character because he and Wally are direct parallels to Eobard and Barry. Yet the fact that John never became a Reverse Flash, and instead carried on the Flash legacy, speaks to Wally’s compassionate and begrudgingly forgiving nature.
So first the parallels.
John Fox was born in the far off future where he grew up idolizing the Flash. The Flash was his hero, his savior. When Fox's city was being threatened Fox decided that only the Flash could save them and time travelled to get help from a Flash. John wasn't able to get help but he did acquire superspeed himself after time traveling. John donned the name ‘The Flash’ and created a Flash suit out of Flash suits he stole from the Flash museum. John Fox managed to save the future version of Central City and he got his first taste of being a hero.
Already the parallels to Eobard are obvious. The Flash obsession, the time travel, trying to be the Flash, ect. The only notable difference thus far is that Eobard had to invent crime to ‘fight�� when he was attempting to be the Flash and John had a legit crisis to combat. This legitimate need for a Flash combined with John’s willingness to step up would make him more of a Wally parallel than an Eobard parallel but unfortunately for him it didn’t last long. Due to future technology Fox became redundant. There was no need for a Flash and he was restricted to permanent guard duty at the Flash museum.
Taking away the need for a Flash made him desperate to go back in time and be a hero again. When an amnesic Wally West arrived in his century Fox saw his chance. He, following in Eobard’s footsteps, replaced Wally as the Flash. John went so far as to fall in love with Linda and strain her lightning rod connection with Wally, which trapped him in the speedforce. This was known information to John Fox. He was aware that Linda’s hope and love was Wally’s only chance at returning. What John did was akin to attempted murder. John wanted Wally's life. He lived in his house, donned his name and uniform, did his job and stole his girlfriend. He killed Wally for it. It’s really not hard to connect this behavior to Eobard who has tried to replace Barry multiple times in the past.
Fox is also not a great Flash. He’s skittish. Unsure and nervous. He’s playing the part of a hero rather than actually being one. Whereas Eobard was too aggressive as the Flash, John was too timid. Both, ultimately, were poor imitations of the originals.
This is where the similarities stop. While Barry reacted to Eobard with righteous fury, Wally reacted with anger, some sarcasm and then basically said ‘goddammit John you are helping me fix this mess or we are going to die trying’. When faced with a man who attempted to kill him and take over his life, Wally could only punch the man and be mildly snippy with him. Wally didn't want Fox to be an enemy. Wally saw potential in him. Wally saw the good man and hero Fox could be.
So Wally walked John through being a hero. He made Fox fix his mistakes, taught Fox how to save the day and by the end of it Wally ended up forgiving him. He gave John his stamp of approval, called him a Flash and sent him on his way.
This was a play by play on how to create a Reverse Flash. This was the recipe. John, by all means, should have been a villain. But Wally isn’t Barry. They are different people and they react in different ways. Wally is driven by the need to see the inherent good in people. He will always give people a second chance and, because of that, against all odds, Wally walked out of there with John Fox as a trusted friend and a Flash in his own right.
#It was like John had read Thawne's 'how to become a reverse flash' book and was doing the origin story word by word#then Wally walk in and was like 'pfft. old news.' and threw a flash book at his head#Wally was so fucking sarcastic and mad the entire time but goddamn did he redeem Fox and make a hero out of him#Wally: I fucking hate you#John: Im going to punch you so hard that you skip two decades#Wally: Im going to punch you so hard that you become a good person#John: .... what#Wally: You heard me! Pick up your fucking visor! we're going evil robot hunting you asshole#dc#dc comics#the flash#kid flash#wally west#john fox
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i think today is a think abt dk day im sorry everyone I watched the movie again ( 3rd time this month) bc i got my headphones back and I just rewound it a bunch and watched his scenes over and over again . he makes me nauseous
#he makes me soooo mad . kissies him on the goddamn face#there’s a spilt second where they go to his house and he has a hammock in the corner .#thought abt sleeping on his chest and I got so lightheaded i almost passed out#anyways . hi#txt#🦍🛢️🍌
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