#it literally can’t be a software update

[ong-o]

Because I hate misinformation; this has NOT BEEN INSTALLED IN YOUR COMPUTER

Recall is a feature specific to a NEW line of computers with special snapdragon cpus to be able to handle it. It cannot appear in your computer. Normal computers without this special cpu CANNOT literally C A N N O T use recall.

Snapshotting every single individual second of your screen all the time is, extremely heavy. It cannot be “updated” to your computer. The snapdragon cpu pcs are advertised as such and promote their recall feature openly. You can’t accidentally buy one and it’s NOT ON YOUR COMPUTER!!!!

Don’t go around fucking in powershell. You can damage your operating system if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

[burnt-to-cynders]

I love being incredibly burnt out a few years into my career with no sign of a significant break within the next few years, what do you mean?

[drabblesandimagines]

Dove (part seven)

Leon Kennedy x female reader (bodyguard trope and the slowest, slow burn I swear)

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five. Part six. Part seven.

---

A tense knot has formed right between Leon’s shoulder blades – can feel it pull when he tilts his head side to side, but it doesn’t seem to be loosening. Can’t even blame it on sleeping on the sofa cos he hasn’t laid down to sleep since the call with Hunnigan, stays sat up right. He’s athletic, he can jump up to his feet from horizontal but it’ll add a second or so to his reaction time and he’s not taking the risk.

He's on edge and he doesn’t like it. The ball of anxiety in his gut has saved his life more times than he can count, but it shouldn’t be necessary in this situation, should it? He’s set up in a safe house, literally off some beaten track in the middle of nowhere – location chosen and distributed by encrypted software so, technically, no-one in the DSO knows where he is either. It’s rigged up to the heavens with security measures - cameras, alarm systems, motion detector - explosion-proof windows, reinforced doors, all topped off with his favourite array of weapons in the duffel bag, currently resting by his still booted feet.

The objective of his mission hasn’t changed after the intel he’s received, that some foreign agency has had access to the CCTV feed for who knows how many hours before they were cut off. He should feel reassured that the quality of the footage was awful – it was only by how many times he’s encountered Lickers that he could even tell that’s what the creatures were when he’d be presented with the grainy images. He didn’t see the footage of you being rescued, but it would be a cruel kick in the gut to find that feed had been HD.

He lifts an arm – his left, keeping his right arm free, his accuracy is better by millimetres with his right – and rubs the knot, hoping to relieve the tension. It's not 100% confirmed they are looking or will be looking for you either, but why would anyone link up to the CCTV circuit if not to check on the outcome of their operation?

His immediate thought had been to up the frequency of his perimeter checks, one every two hours. He could do that at night, sure – military training taught him the correct and most efficient techniques to power nap – but in the day it would be harder without worrying you about what’s changed.

You wanted updates. Hell, you were entitled to updates. But he wants to give you good news, doesn’t wanna add to the weight on your shoulders with what could be nothing. It’s stupid, he knows it’s stupid, but in these sweet domestic moments the two of you have been sharing, he’s been pretending it’s something else – friends watching television, cooking a meal together – the sweet smiles the two of you exchange, but it’s all ripped apart the moment he has to do his checks. He can see the worry settle on your face then, a reminder of where you are with the flick of the safety off his gun and the twist of the lock as he goes outside to conduct surveillance.

Speaking of, his phone beeps for his next circuit on the building and he’s up on his feet in the blink of an eye. He pats his cargo pocket out of habit for the keys on the walk over to the garage door, but finds himself pausing outside your bedroom, his eyes focusing on the handle. You should still be pretty under with those sleeping pills – note to self, he’ll need to start weening you off them from now on, far too easy to get addicted. It wouldn’t hurt to just… check you were okay, would it?

No – that’s what you’re here, why he’s here – to protect you.

It would just be doing his job.

He presses down on the handle and slowly opens the door, breath caught in his throat. It takes his eyes a moment to adjust to the dark, the lamp in the living room not quite reaching as far as your bed, but eventually he can make out your face – as peaceful as he’s ever seen it.

You’re on your side. The position doesn’t look like it would be comfortable with your arm still strapped up in the sling, but it’s testimony to how well the sleeping pills are working. Your other arm is up by your face, hand clenched in a tight fist around something. He steps forward without thinking, curious what it could be.

Your fingers are gripped tightly around his watch.

And there’s a pain in his chest that feels like they’re gripped around his heart as well.

That settles it - he’s not gonna tell you about the hacked CCTV feed. He will tell you that Hunnigan hasn’t searched your place yet, that they’ve restarted the surveillance department – she’d asked him to ask you if you knew anything about the servers since they were appeared to be working from square one – but that was it.

Leon steps back with unnecessary caution, leaving the bedroom as silently as he entered and shuts the door with a soft click. He takes a deep breath, pats down his pockets again and heads out to circle the perimeter.

And, just like after you kissed his cheek, he does it twice.

--

You wake up after another peaceful and dreamless sleep, though it still takes a moment to remember where you are as you stare up at the unfamiliar ceiling. You wonder if tomorrow you’ll not experience that flicker of panic, just get up and accept that you’ll be picking today’s outfit out of a selection of clothes that you’re not sure if anyone’s worn before you.

You feel sore, as seems to be becoming the norm, but with unusually stiff fingers on your good hand. It seems you’ve clutched Leon’s watch all night. You’d fallen asleep quite quickly – all thanks to those sleeping pills – but you remember looking at it when you’d first got in the bed, the seconds ticking by lulling you to sleep. The fact that you’ve held it for so long reminds you of when you were a kid and snuggled up with a stuffed toy for comfort, except instead of something soft and cuddly, it’s what appears to be a top of line timepiece. There’s a lot of information contained on the face of the dial but there’s the time is the only one you really care about – 0906.

You get to your feet, raising your good arm to a grunt of protest as you try and run your fingers through your hair in lieu of a mirror. Huh, that pain’s new. Your hair is definitely due a wash now, but that’s an issue for later. You pull on a pair of sweatpants one-handed – you’ll be a pro soon, you’re sure of it – and put Leon’s watch in the pocket for safekeeping. It’d be difficult to try and navigate the door handle with it still gripped in your good hand and you’d hate to scratch it up.

You open the door cautiously – you hadn’t seen Leon asleep yet, but he must do at some point. Maybe you should offer to alternate the sofa and the bed? Though you have a feeling that he’s far too much of a gentleman to accept.

Or there’ll be something in the rules that prohibits that.

There’s no danger of waking him though - the agent in question is performing sit-ups in the middle of the living room floor, facing the other way. Muscular arms behind his head as he lets out little puffs of exertion at the exercise, alternating sides as he twists.

Wary that you don’t want to be caught staring, you shut the door with more force than necessary behind you and greet him with a smile when he looks over his shoulder.

“Morning, Leon.”

“Dove!” He doesn’t even sound out of breath. “Morning. Sleep okay?” He jumps up to his feet before taking a couple of steps over in your direction. There’s a grin on his face at the sight of you – makes you feel giddy.

“Yeah, thanks. How about you?”

“That’s good. Yeah, I slept fine.” He nods. It’s not a lie – he did sleep fine for the position he forced himself to maintain all night, despite the slight crick in his neck.

“Is that how you usually start your mornings?”

One of the arms you’d been admiring goes up to rub the back of his head again. “Kinda. I usually go for a run, but…”

“But you can’t leave me on my own.” You finish, smile dropping a little. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be - I’m not.” He drops his arm back down, casting an eye over a watch that’s not there. “Hey, you hungry? I can get breakfast started. Oatmeal again?”

“Sure.” You nod, fishing his watch out of your pocket and holding it out to him. “Thanks again for this. It was nice to wake up and know the time this morning.”

“Don’t mention it. You can, er, you know, keep it. If you like.” He can’t get the image of you fast asleep last night, clutching it close to your face. He knows it was most likely the sleeping pills meaning you’d just passed out with it in your hand more than anything deeper, but, hey, a guy can pretend.

“I’ll be okay, I can get the time off the TV during the day.” You hold it out again with insistence. “But maybe… maybe I could have it for the night again?”

“Deal.” Leon hastily agrees, his fingers brushing yours as he takes back the watch before fastening it around his wrist. “Breakfast coming right up.”

You take the opportunity to duck into the bathroom as he heads towards the kitchen – your heart warmed once more by the sight of the blob of toothpaste sat ready and waiting on your toothbrush.

--

“And, finally, oatmeal.” He places it down on the coffee table, alongside your coffee, a glass of water and your morning dose of painkillers.

“Thank you.” You lean forward to pick up the spoon, smiling back at the face that Leon’s drizzled in honey atop your breakfast again.  

“Nah, pleasure’s all mine.” He calls over his shoulder as he picks up his own bowl from the kitchen. He hesitates for a second, before choosing to sit the other end of the sofa to you, rather than the opposite one.

“You know, I don’t get to do this very often. It’s nice.”

“Mm,” you swallow a spoonful of oatmeal. “Thought you said you’d been in lots of safe houses.”

“A fair amount. But, no, not that part. I mean, eating breakfast with someone.” “So…” You stir the spoon around the bowl, hoping it might prove a perfect segway into something you’d been wondering. “..there’s no-one at home for you?”

“Me?” He seems to scoff at the idea. “Nope.”

“Me neither.”

“Yeah, I figured.” He replies casually, before his blue eyes widen in alarm at how it might come across. “

“I mean, just by the fact that you hadn’t mentioned anyone at your apartment that morning and you hadn’t asked any of those sorta questions, you know, if they’d been told about what happened, where you are...”

He’s flustered, feels like he’s really putting his foot in his mouth this morning. He can take the lead in the interrogation of some of the world’s most despicable humans, for goodness’ sake, he should be able to talk to a pretty girl.

“Yeah, I figured.” You tease back and he swears he feels the weight lift off his shoulders.

The two of you eat in silence for a moment when curiosity gets the better of you. “So, you didn’t eat breakfast with the… others?”

“Nope.” His tone is firm as he recalls some of his previous charges. “Certainly didn’t make them it either. Trust me – they were nowhere near as nice or as deserving of my protection as you are, Dove.” The comment makes your head tingle.

“It’s all been people ‘realising’ how deep they’d sank but only grew a conscience to save their own skin. Hell, you might have even performed surveillance on some of them. A lot of criminals finally show backbone when they realise their time is running out.”

“Well, I’m glad to make a change – both for sharing breakfast and …safe house occupancy with.”

“A nice change,” he mumbles, but you still hear.

--

After breakfast, you go to shower and Leon sets himself to task with the dishes once again, says he did his last perimeter check before nine. Removing the sling proves trickier than yesterday – when you go to tug off the Velcro your opposite shoulder smarts with a similar pain of that morning, causing you to hiss through your teeth, something which the painkillers from breakfast don’t seem to have alleviated.

You step into the cubicle after undressing – the hot water immediately somewhat soothing on your bruised shoulders but you still struggle to get what you now deem as your good arm high enough to even entertain the possibility of washing your hair.  

You try and avoid your reflection in the mirror when you dress, though you know you’ll have to confront your hair at some point. Unfortunately, you catch a glimpse – a greasy mop sat upon your head that makes your heart sink.

There must be a trick to it – other people must wash their hair one-handed all the time, but maybe they can lift an arm above their head. If you were home, you’d go to a salon, you think – an expensive you would deem necessary for your sanity.

A thought flashes across your mind – a ridiculous one. Leon is already doing so much for you, surely this would be completely over the line.

But you could… ask, couldn’t you? The worst he could do was say no, it would be awkward, and maybe there’s a hat in the duffel bag you’ve yet to discover.

You open the bathroom door, but don’t make to step over the threshold. Leon looks over from the sofa – dishes now drying in the rack besides the sink - and clocks your hesitation.

“Need a hand with the sling?”

Are you really going to ask him this?

You’ll break at some point - you know you will, so why not get it over with now? You’re a regimented two-day wash kinda girl and it’s day three. Not to be completely vain, but you’re covered with bruises and cuts, dressed in less than flattering clothes that aren’t yours and it would be nice to feel somewhat decent about something in your appearance.

Especially with the handsome company you’re keeping. Hell, Leon could be a model, a hair model too. There’d been shampoo and conditioner in the shower and you certainly hadn’t used it.

“Dove?” You’ve taken too long to reply again, getting stuck in your spiralling thoughts.

“I know this isn’t what you’re here for.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can think further.

“Okay…” Leon's eyebrow is raised, a curious smile now fixed on his lips as he gets to his feet.

“And say no, obviously. Please. Just… I’d like to wash my hair.” You drop your eyes then – maybe it’ll be easier if you talk to your feet rather staring into his kind eyes?

"Right."

“And I’d… You know, I’d go to a salon and get it done there if we weren’t… here.”

“You’d like me to help you wash your hair?” There’s a tone of amusement or maybe disbelief in his tone.

Hearing him say it aloud makes you doubt the entire exercise, your heart begin to pound at your stupidity. “Sorry. No, I don’t know what I was thinking. It was stupid to ask-“

“Hey, no, it makes sense.” He soothes, immediately wanting to ease your frustrations. “You can’t lift your arm above your head, right? My fault for not thinking about that.”

You look up then, seeing the sincerity on his face – like it truly was his fault that you couldn’t wash your own damn hair.

“I can do that, Dove. I don’t see why not.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mm-hm. As you said, if you were anywhere else right now, you could go to a salon and whilst I can’t promise their quality, I seem to do all right with my own.” He shrugs. “You thinking over the sink?”

He doesn’t know why he asks – it’s hardly like you’re going to ask him to get in the shower with you.

Is it?

“I think so.” You look around the living area, though you’re well acquainted with what feels like every square inch of it now. “Though it might be a little awkward since we don’t have any chairs.”

He snaps his fingers. “Nah, there might be one in the garage, actually. Lemme check.”

He barely makes it into the garage when his cell vibrates in his pocket – one new message from Hunnigan.

Any server information for me?

Leon finds the folding chair nestled at the side of the washer and dryer and hesitates over the text back.

He’ll wash your hair – seeing how torn up you’d been about even asking him had made him feel awful - then he’ll give you the updates and ask about the servers.

He picks up the chair and tucks it under one arm, swiftly typing out a message on his cell and clicks send.

Not yet – Dove’s still asleep.

---

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Commissions/Ko-Fi

Comments, follows, likes and reblogs make my day!

Part eight.

[sunchipss]

’Non-cannon’ ship incorrect quotes pt 2!

Malitae : I have feelings for you. Midas: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Malitae : Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Midas: AS ENEMIES?! Malitae :

Malitae : You got a date yet Midas? Midas: No… Malitae : Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Malitae : Midas, I… Malitae : I love you! Midas: Not my problem.

Malitae : Holding up a pack of pencils These are kinda cute. Midas: Malitae , that’s gay. Malitae : We’ve been dating for 2 years—

Midas: We both look very handsome tonight. Malitae : You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." Midas: I couldn't take that chance.

Midas: Do you love me? Malitae : We’re literally married. Midas: Yeah, but as friends or—

Centross: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Icarus: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Centross: My hands are cold. Icarus: Here, let me hold them. Centross: My lips are cold too. Icarus: covers Centross's mouth with their hand

Centross: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Icarus: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Centross: But you’re always acting stupid? Icarus: … Icarus: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Centross: Can you cut me some slack, Icarus? I’m sort of in love. Icarus: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Centross: I’m in love with you. Icarus: blushes Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Icarus: What are you in the mood for? Centross: World domination. Icarus: That's a bit ambitious. Centross: You are my world. Icarus: Aww… Centross: Icarus: Centross: Icarus: OH.

Centross: You look good in that hoodie. Icarus: You know where else I'd look good? Centross, zero hesitation: My bed. Icarus, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Momboo, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often? Arisanna, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

Arisanna: Relationships should be 50/50. Momboo cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Arisanna: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Momboo: Okay. Arisanna: And make out during the scary parts. Momboo: Th- Momboo: The scary parts. Momboo: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Arisanna: We’re getting married, bitches! Momboo: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

Momboo: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Arisanna! Arisanna: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Arisanna: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Momboo: I wrote you a poem. Arisanna, already crying: You did?

Arisanna: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Momboo: steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely Arisanna: That one. I want that one.

Momboo: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Arisanna: It was autocorrect. Momboo: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Arisanna: Yes.

Momboo: Laughs Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing— Arisanna: We’re married.

[autolenaphilia]

God, the end of support for Windows 10 will be such a fucking bloodbath. It’s coming a year from now, 14 october 2025 and it will be a disaster. The one Windows version supported by Microsoft will be Windows 11, and its hardware requirements are like the rent, too damn high.

Literally most computers running Windows 10 can’t upgrade to Windows 11. 55% of working computers aren’t able to run windows 11 according to an analysis. A man quoted in the article argues even that is too optimistic considering how many older computers are still used. He thinks even an estimate of 25% of win10 machines being able to upgrade to win11 is too high an estimate, and frankly he sounds reasonable.

This will probably lead to two things.

Number one is a mountain of e-waste as people get rid of old computers unsupported by microsoft despite the hardware working fin ,and buy new windows 11 machines. It’s the great Windows 11 computer extinction experiment, as writer Jenny List called it. And when you buy a new computer with windows pre-installed, the windows license fee is baked into the price. So a windfall in license money for Microsoft, and the real reason why they are doing this.

Number two is a cybersecurity crisis. A lot of people will keep on using Windows 10 because “end of support” doesn’t mean it will stop working on that date. But the end of support means the end of security updates for the operating system. That will make those systems very unsafe, if they are connected to the internet. Security flaws and exploits for windows 10 will be discovered, problems that will never be patched because win10 isn’t supported anymore and they will be used against systems still running it.

Apparently a lot of people don’t understand this so I’ll try to explain this again as simply as I can. No human being is perfect, and accordingly nobody can write the perfect software that is safe from all cybersecurity threats forever. Security flaws and exploits will always be found, if the computer running that software is connected to the internet, which means it can be attacked by every bad actor out there. This is especially true if that software is as complex and important as an operating system, and it’s also widely used, which is true of Windows. But if the software is supported, the people who design and distribute that software can write patches and send out security updates that will patch the exploits that are found, minimizing the risks inherent to software, computers and the internet. It’s a constant race between well-meaning developers and bad actors, but if the developers are good about it, they will stay ahead.

But when support for the software is dropped, that means the developers will no longer patch the software. And that’s what happening to Windows 10 in october 2025. Any new exploits for the operating system that are found, and they will inevitably be found, won’t be patched by Microsoft. The exploits will stay unpatched, the system will be old and full of holes and anyone using it will be unsafe.

We already have this problem with people who are still using Windows 7 and Windows 8, years after Microsoft dropped support, often because their computers can’t upgrade even to windows 10. They are probably a disproportionate amount of the people getting hacked and their data stolen. From reading what they write to justify themselves online, my impression is that these people are frankly ignorant about technology and the dangers of what they are doing. And they are filled with the absurd self-confidence the ignorant often have, as they believe themselves to be too careful and tech-savvy to be hacked.

The problem will however explode with windows 10 ending support, because the gap in hardware requirements between win10 and win11 is so large, as already explained.

(sidenote, running unsupported operating systems can be safe, as long as you don’t connect the computer to the internet. You can even run windows 3.1 in perfect safety as long as its kept off the ‘net. But that’s a different story, I’m talking here about people who connect their computers to the internet)

So let’s imagine this very common scenario: you have a computer running Windows 10. You can’t upgrade it to windows 11 because most win10 computers literally can’t. You want to keep the computer connected to the internet for obvious reasons. You don’t have the money to get a new windows 11 computer, and you don’t want to throw your old perfectly useable hardware away. So what do you do?

The answer is install linux. Go to a reputable distro’s website like linuxmint.com, read and follow their documentation on how to install and use it. Just do it. If you are running windows 10, you have until October 14 2025 to figure it out. And if you are running windows 7 or 8, do it now.

There are good reasons for not using Linux and sticking with windows, linux has serious downsides. But when the choice is literally between an old unsupported version of windows and Linux, linux wins everytime. Every reason for not installing linux, every downside to the switch, all those are irrelevant when your alternative is literally running old unsupported windows on a machine connected to the internet. Sure linux might not be user-friendly enough for you, but that’s kinda irrelevant when the other alternatives presented is either throwing the computer away or sacrificing it to a botnet. And if you believe yourself to be too tech-savvy and careful to ever get pwned (as some present-day windows 7 users clearly believe themselves to be), that’s bullshit. If you really were careful and tech-savvy you would take the basic precaution of installing a supported operating and know how to do it.

I don’t think everyone can just switch to linux, at least not full time. If you need windows because your work requires it, frankly your only realistic option is to have a computer that supports win11 when october 2025 rolls around. If you don’t, either you have to pay for it yourself or ask your employer to supply a work computer with win11. Just don’t use Windows 10 for work stuff past that date, I doubt your co-workers, your employer or your customers will appreciate you putting their data at risk by doing so.

The rest of you, please don’t contribute to the growing problem of e-waste by throwing away perfectly useable hardware or put yourself at risk by using unspported versions of Windows. Try Linux instead.

[artgeekz]

Ragatha: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Pomni: It was autocorrect.

Ragatha: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Pomni: Yes.

-

Ragatha: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Pomni!

Pomni: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

-

Ragatha: I feel like doing something stupid.

Pomni: I’m stupid, do me.

-

Ragatha: Bro-

Pomni: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Pomni: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

-

Ragatha: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Pomni: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Ragatha: Stop.

-

Pomni: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Ragatha: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

-

Ragatha: Talk dirty to me~

Pomni: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Ragatha: Wha-

Pomni: The economy is in shambles.

-

Ragatha: What are you in the mood for?

Pomni: World domination.

Ragatha: That's a bit ambitious.

Pomni: You are my world.

Ragatha: Aww...

Pomni:

Ragatha:

Pomni:

Ragatha: OH.

-

Pomni: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

Ragatha: Are you a software update? because not right now.

-

Ragatha: Wow, Pomni, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Pomni: We literally slept together yesterday.

Ragatha: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

-

Pomni: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Ragatha is? Because Ragatha is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

-

Ragatha: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Pomni: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Ragatha: That one. I want that one.

-

Ragatha: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Pomni: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

-

Ragatha: Hey, Pomni, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Pomni: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Ragatha: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Pomni: Can't really say I have.

Ragatha: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Pomni: Sorry, Ragatha. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

-

Pomni, sweating: Ragatha, there’s something I need to ask you-

Ragatha: Finally! You’re proposing!

Pomni: How’d you know?

Ragatha: Pomni, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Ragatha: I even picked it up once.

Seeing how the first quotes I made were good, here is ButtonBlossom now!

[aurosoulart]

man this thing is crazy. I can’t show off half the things it does because the video/casting software needs some updates, but like....... I spent the morning sitting under a TREE creating 3d models IN THIN AIR.

it was absolutely surreal being surrounded by birdsong, warm sunlight, being able to see every leaf on the trees around me crystal clear....... AND being able to see AND INTERACT WITH virtual objects on top of reality with that same clarity.

just..... literal, real-life holograms. out in nature. words honestly cannot do it justice.

anyways. my new life goal is to get a solar-powered backpack charger and then never go inside again 🌳🌲🌴🍃

[emilybahu]

Omg people! Please, PLEASE go read this Buddie fan fic on AO3! It was literally so good! Very well written slowish burn, that I hope you all love as much as I did!

I’ve never posted a story from AO3 on here before, just be aware that this isn’t my work and that I am in no way trying to steal this author’s work, I just really wanted to share it because it’s genuinely the best Buddie fic I’ve read thus far!

I wanted to see what I would find if I went to the last search page for Buddie on AO3 and this is one of the ones I found I don’t know why it’s on the very last page because it definitely should be higher!

Summary:

“Okay, but what are the rules?”

Ravi stares. “The rules for…?”

“Casual sex.”

Ravi continues to stare. It is 5:39 in the morning.

Buck keeps talking, unprompted. “I can’t just go back to Buck 1.0. Bobby will not give me a third chance if I steal the ladder truck again.”

“You don’t need to steal the ladder truck to have casual sex.”

Buck huffs, as if Ravi is intentionally missing the point. “Well, yeah, but who knows what Buck 1.0.2 would be capable of.”

Ravi shakes his head. “I really need the software updates to stop.”

or, an au where buck broke up with taylor before 5b, ravi and buck become (actually platonic) friends with benefits, and ravi, eddie, and buck all go on a journey of self-discovery that ends with them all getting what they need

[drpoisonoaky]

Steph: I need pickup lines.

Babs: ..Why?

Steph: Let’s say I need ammo.

Kara: OHH MY TIME TO SHINE

Steph: Are you good with pickup lines?

Babs: No, she’s not.

Kara: HEY What do you mean? I’m a pro.

Babs: Kara, darling…

Kara: So, I heard you like bad girls… I time travel in Animal Crossing.

Babs: I don’t actually.

Kara: Thank Rao. Cause it’s a lie, I’ve invested too much in turnips.

Kara: That proves nothing.

Kara: And I made a lot of bells after that.

Babs: Or when you tried a more nerdy approach…

Kara: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

Babs: Are you a software update? Because not right now.

Steph: That was bad.

Kara: The answer wasn’t really necessary…

Babs: Or do you remember?

Kara: Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Babs: It’s 6:00 am after a patrol I look dead.

Steph: Bad timing.

Kara: But you looked cute!

Babs: Or maybe that one…

Kara: I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

Babs: You literally need the sun for your powers you’re like a plant

Kara: OKAY I GET IT!

Babs: But we end up together, so it didn’t matter. I really lo-

Kara: Don’t you dare to be cute I’m sad.

Babs: You can’t have it all sweetie.

Steph: You’re both really cute…

Steph: But this conversation was pointless. Where’s Dinah?

[josiebelladonna]

i am going to begin the process of cross posting the stories/fics i care most about (i.e., the fics i’ve downloaded since the election) over to squidgeworld and i frankly don’t give two fucks if it’s called squidgeworld—besides, something like that, that has a ridiculous name, is bound to be good 😂 i think i’ll be doing that all the way to new year’s, especially now that i’m on radio silence with instagram—and let me tell you, it’s actually been kind of nice not getting notifications all the time. i can wake up in the morning and not get an uneasy stomach thinking that the next post will be about alex with whatsername.

i just can’t help but think ahead with this terms of service update on ao3. they don’t harvest your data, sure (mainly because they don’t have an algorithm… in case you needed any more proof of that), and they will protect you, and in fact, that’s their whole raison d’être, but… there’s something about the way it’s presented, though, telling you that they’ll hand you over to the authorities if you’re doing something illegal and we know that trump’s government is going to be… what it is, it’s easy to put two and two together and assume these things. it’s admittedly got me spooked.

squidgeworld, from what i can gather, is made out from the same software ao3 runs on (it’s open source software, so you can do that), created by a guy and his team, squidge. in other words, it’s like all of these new social media platforms that keep cropping up (bluesky, mastodon, threads) except it’s a fanfic + original writing site, it’s an archive (read: no godforsaken algorithm), and it’s a fraction of the size of ao3, which is huge now compared to what it was when i first joined 5 years ago. i like it. it’s quiet. it’s not as cluttered. it kind of feels like moving to a cabin in the woods overlooking the ocean and away from the insanity of the world (i live in the mountains; i’m going to the beach). it also takes the pressure off ao3 which, depending on the fandom, is completely overrun with the tiktok crowd.

i saw a post earlier while i was prepping my queue for this week, saying something like “i’ll tear a book limb from limb but i would nEvEr do that to fanfic,” and… you know what. i’m just gonna say it. fuck off with this. you heard me.

this attitude is why there is so much shovelware shit on ao3 now. this attitude is why you have the exact same fanfics over and over and over and over and OVER!!! again in for example, the metallica, fall out boy, mcr, and 21 pilots tags. this attitude is why there is a surplus of “fics” on there tagged like tumblr posts or tiktok posts and they range from fucking awful to literally nothing. what was once a sentiment that made perfect sense because it is painful to see as an amateur, you are now letting the low-hanging fruit have a run of the place with this. honestly, i feel like people just say this anymore to hear themselves talk.

in fact, i almost didn’t want to write this up because squidgeworld is a smol babe and i want it to stay that way. in fact, i’m going to enjoy the smallness while it lasts.

i’m using my real name, hannah_christine, over there, and i’ve already posted quarter after twelve and my shorts/poetry collection black lake. the other benefit of this is finishing some wips i’ve put on the back burner and just let simmer (xenon dreams, the dead of night, eerie inhabitants, etc.). everything will stay downloaded/archived, and my ao3 will still be here. but decentralization is the way forward and i’m an artist: i need to dodge bullets somehow.

[blubberquark]

The Dark Arts

As a beginner programmer, you should know that eval() is evil, that you should never copy and paste code in cases when you could just put that code in a function and call that function from both places, that you should use a real debugger instead of printing out values, and that you should not use raw sockets in Python.

Sometimes I see beginners who do not yet understand why you can’t just use eval() or sockets - or eval() together with sockets, even - pretend to be more experienced so the greybeards on IRC will explain to them, only to come back a couple of days later with a bug that should have been really obvious if they were really as experienced as they claimed. Topics like eval() are not closely guarded secrets that the greybeards want to keep to themselves, they are much more like actual literally esoteric knowledge, knowledge that is accessible only to those who have been initiated.

This time, I am trying something different. Instead of explaining why you shouldn’t use those things unless you know what you are doing, I will give you the exceptions. This knowledge will be next to useless unless you have been initiated in the art of software engineering, unless you could already have arrived at the same conclusion on your own.

You have been warned.

Print Debugging

I tried to debug a platformer with break points. Super annoying. Instead I use print, I draw boxes on the screen, I have an in-game log console, I have a button I can hold to show more debug info. It varies from game to game.

Debugging movement is not even about bugs, but about game feel.

eval()

I use eval() in my yarn.py library. It’s something like YarnSpinner, which is something like Twine, but for dialogue trees and multiple choice text embedded in games, not for whole games that are just text. Since it doesn’t use it to run code that was sent over the wire, but code that is part of data files that come with your application, it’s reasonably safe to do this. Statements like <<if $EXPR >> and <<print $EXPR >> will evaluate $EXPR in the scope of the yarn.py session, so that they have access to local variables. The statement <<run $PROG >> will execute $PROG with exec().

I thought about having statements like <<set $VAR to $VALUE>> and to store variables in a dictionary. But why bother? After all this, I’d have my own interpreter for a language that’s worse than Python, so I might as well use eval() and exec().

Adding convenient functionality to yarn.py, like the ability to query a node that has been visited, is only a matter of implementing a function in Python and adding it to the interpreter scope in eval(). Instead of adding a special case to the evaluator to handle visited nodes, I have added a visited dictionary to the interpreter scope, and so users can write <<if visited[”StartNode”]>>.

Copy+Paste

I copied and pasted code in a game of mine that lets you save and view replays. In addition to keeping the the gameplay code under source control, for every major revision of the game I copied the gameplay code into a new file. This way, I can import the appropriate gameplay module for a replay file, and run that.

Gameplay code is decoupled from input handling or rendering. Those actually get updated with every new release.

If I had substantial code sharing between versions, I would need to carefully add conditionals each time I made a change. And if I didn’t have old versions of the gameplay code at all, characters would just miss jumps, get stuck in the ceiling, or otherwise come out of sync with the original gameplay as I tweak the physics of movement.

Good thing I have the animations decoupled from the gameplay, or I’d need to version those too.

Raw Sockets

In my multiplayer real-time strategy game I used raw sockets. Every frame, the game receives UDP packets and updates data structures that keep track of received network communication. Then it sends UDP packets back. As long as a packet goes unacknowledged, it is sent again and again on every subsequent frame.

There were no problems with partial data, because I used UDP packets, which either arrive whole or not at all. There were no problems with buffering and de-syncing, because if no packets were received, the game loop would just continue and try again next frame. Packets didn’t have sequence numbers, but they had time stamps and frame numbers.

This form of networking does not require rollback, client-side prediction, async, or a separate thread, but it does introduce a small, fixed amount of lag. With good networking conditions (wired Ethernet LAN), the lag can be as low as a single frame.

pickle

Just kidding! You should never use pickle.

[void-botanist]

Incorrect quotes: Nicea Shipping edition

@autumnalwalker had an open tag for a shipping version of incorrect quotes and boy can I not resist meme games, so here we go.

Rules: use this generator to make some incorrect ship-related quotes.

I'll pass the tag on to @vacantgodling, @outpost51, @kingkendrick7, and @kahvilahuhut plus anyone who wants to join in. Isabel: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Spinder: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Spinder: Isabel, you love me, right? Isabel: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Isabel: [angrily presses Tatya against a wall] WHERE'S THE MONEY?! Tatya: … Tatya: Are we about to kiss-

Isabel: I fell— Tatya: From heaven? Isabel: No, I literally fell— Tatya: In love with me the moment you saw me? Isabel: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Tatya: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Tatya: Isabel is playing hard to get. Tatya: Little does she know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Spinder: Two brooooos! Fabian: Chillin' in a hot tub! Spinder: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! Fabian: Spinder: Fabian: [tearing up] Spinder: Babe, c'mon… Fabian: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. Spinder: Babe…

Fabian: Know why I called you in here? Spinder: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Fabian: [stops pouring two glasses of wine] Accidentally?

Fabian: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Spinder: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Tristan: So you like cats? Gil: Yeah. Tristan: [tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table]

Gil: Tristan and I are no longer friends. Tristan: GIL THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Gil: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Rodney: Did Tristan say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? Gil: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

Declan, to Cady: We had a date! Declan: [aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book]

Cady: Can you cut me some slack, Declan? I’m sort of in love. Declan: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Cady: I’m in love with you. Declan: [blushes] Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Declan: Is something burning? Cady, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. Declan: Cady, the toaster is literally on fire.

Cady: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Declan! Declan: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Cady: [seductively takes off glasses] Cady: Wow… Declan: [blushes] Haha… what? Cady: You're really fucking blurry.

Bonus:

Rodney: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Allison: [steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely] Rodney: That one. I want that one.

Nicea taglist: @kahvilahuhut @kingkendrick7 @outpost51

[randomguyonline71]

Incorrect Quote Tag!

Tagged by @justadmiringanakin - Thank you so much. I had a blast doing this!

Rules: Use this generator to generate incorrect quotes and tag people!

Tagging: @zkang288 & @ginnyw-potter + Open tag for anyone else

Ginny: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Harry: This is a lie. Harry: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Harry: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Harry: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Ginny: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Harry: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Ginny: Is it working?

Ginny: I like your new pants! Harry: Thanks, they were 50% off! Ginny: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Harry: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Ginny: Thats’s… not what I meant. Harry: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Ginny.

Harry : *seductively takes off glasses* Harry: Wow... Ginny: *blushes* Haha... what? Harry: You're really fucking blurry.

Anakin: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Padmé: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Anakin : I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Padmé: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Anakin , getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

Padmé: Look, last night was a mistake. Anakin : A sexy mistake. Padmé: No, just a regular mistake.

[bedlamsbard]

Problem Child (my laptop) is Doing Things again, and the most recent thing is that it just suddenly started occasionally having pink and green vertical lines flicker across the screen which I think is supposed to be a hardware thing.  Inconsistently, though, not constantly.  This is really bad timing for reasons that include I have to spend literally all day tomorrow and Friday on Zoom. 

me, optimistically: maybe it will just go away!

(I mean, the Surface did this once and it did just go away when I restarted it.)

me, realistically: gods, I’m going to go to my computer guy and and have to go “yeah, the top two rows of my keyboard don’t work all the time, last week it fluctuated being plugged in for half an hour, now This, and also yes, I am still running Windows 7.”  I’ve had to get my wireless card chip thing replaced twice in the last four years and both times he’s gone, “uh, don’t you want to update to Windows 10?” but also “this is a GOOD computer. IF YOU’D UPDATE TO WINDOWS 10.”

Problem Child is an eight-year-old Dell Inspiron and is actually the longest-lasting computer I’ve ever had, mostly because I’ve been too stubborn to replace it every time it’s Done Something.  For a while there it used to randomly bluescreen and turn off but @amemait did some witchcraft on it and it doesn’t do that anymore.  (I think that was the first time the wireless card burned out and we were trying to figure out if that was a hardware or software issue.  Hardware, but we tried the software fixes first and that fixed the “it turns off randomly sometimes” problem.)

ETA: I forgot the fact that the touchpad hasn’t worked consistently in years which is why I have a mouse.  (I have a vertical mouse for “I have very fucked up wrists” reasons” and now I can’t use a normal mouse.)

ETA2: oh, and the rattle! how could I forget the rattle! Problem Child just randomly rattles half the time. doesn’t seem to affect its functioning at all, it just rattles.

[maiosx]

This is exactly why Elon was kicked off rally 5.5

he is really not smart at all. A single baby wogue video on LLM used in the file explorer of gnome has more usable code than his entire ChatGPT project did but bc ppl don’t understand it, they flock to elons side, and regardless, Apple GPT wouldn’t be used to make instructables for ppl to cheat on apps or crypto projects, it would be used for real world interactions instead, like the real gnome project, humanity - Apple GPT is Fuck your trolly billionaire wannabe status LLM set kinda tech bc they have the power to actually implement it system wide instead of just as a single app that can’t interface with anything. This is the problem with normie billionaires, they don’t understand how to make things that are actually useable day to day. Too many of them think they can just get rich selling some crypto and super fast thing, but in the end, the people that take their time to work on their ideas actually end up making better things, and he purposefully took off tweeted from an iPhone or android just to piss off ppl that don’t wanna work at Tesla bc the pay is low and FSD upgrades are BS. Since when has Apple charged for an iOS update.. never. All their OSes are free to use if you can attain the hardware. It is up to users to decide whether they want to brew their own software experience or use something that people that understand bits down to the networking protocol bytes make. I don’t support any of Elon’s companies or projects and neither should anybody. They are all pre-made things others worked on that he bought and imposed restrictions and upgrade services on bc instead of innovating further, for example like creating a bunch of Tesla hotels with solar roofs for ppl to visit or Tesla locations to airbnb at, using his boring tunnels, with his own “teslabnb”, he wouldn’t need to charge for FSD, and if those teslabnbs had starlink Wi-Fi that ppl paid to use, then twitter wouldn’t need 8 dollars a month and Tesla employees wouldn’t have low wages. His ego is literally trolling users. People are not so smart to see it but if they did, they would say Elon is full of shit bc all the examples I just gave took me two seconds to come up with and billionaires practically live at hotels, so he probably already thought of it but would never do that just to keep that carrot on a stick metaphor in our minds and so he can keep pretending he is anti-1984, keeps feeding us that lefty righty political bs but never really implements the solutions above to stop it. It is billionaires that created 1984 and they know a way out, but they are full of shit. I can’t even long post this on Twitter bc he wants 8 dollars to do so, and this dude has been riding on apple’s platform success since twitter launched on iPhone and it should just be deleted off the App Store for not even using usps logic.

[freshthoughts2020]

THE ONE REASON YOU CAN’T GIVE UP!

THE ONE REASON YOU CAN’T GIVE UP!

January 8, 2023

Ahhh its a new year, can you believe it 2023? As I was working on promoting the site, (yeah the one you’re on right now lol), I was thinking about how one of my greatest assets in running this site is time itself.

The reason why time itself can be a valuable asset is because resources that could assist literally take time to be created and available to you.

With the update that came with Squarespace, they easily make quality marketable videos that catches potential consumers in a blink of an eye. Normally we would have to work several programs for creating promotional videos, some that wouldn’t even be more than a minute.

However, Squarespace now have a whole studio tool where you literally pick a product from your inventory and they make endless combinations of images, videos, and .gifs!

Imagine if I would’ve been sulking years ago when this didn’t exist. Imagine if I would’ve complained about how I didn’t have the money or knowledge to get proper promotion for my site, I would’ve gave up losing on potentially millions of dollars, Worse than losing the money, I would’ve lost my pride and became an infinite loser, probably spending my days hating on another entrepreneur who didn’t quit.

This stretches beyond my site, it was very useful in my music itself. Without technological advances through time, I would’ve never created the music that I wanted to make.

Access to new loops, my cell phone, and different recording software allowed me to take my music in my hands and not rely on another soul to get my stuff poppin.

Now I’m actually doing performances and made money from my music but if I didn’t allow the divine actions of time to work itself, I would’ve quit and would’ve hated and blamed people because I didn’t take my career in my own hands.

So the reason that you may not be where you wanna be isn’t because of your ability to work, skill, or any other merit based factor. It may simply because what you need doesn’t exist yet! So keep going, learn the lessons you’re supposed to learn, and in due time, time will be on your side!

Visit gettothecorner.com

Follow on twitter.com/onlyonejaevonn