#it just pains me man

[fandombead]

Misconception About Patton (SvS)

I think I've seen a lot of takeaways from this episode be that Patton pushed for what he wanted regardless of how the others felt. However, I believe this is ignoring first that he's a facet of c!Thomas and represents his core values and thus what Thomas ultimately believed was right as well, even if he wasn't happy about it.

Interesting quotes that I think get forgotten or removed from context about how SVS went down:

I find it interesting that people claim Patton manipulated the others, namely Roman. I dispute this because of the intent required for something to be manipulation vs misguiding someone and the word is thrown around carelessly. Janus, however, was the one to actually "manipulate" Roman to his advantage in the situation, and while you can justify it, I am simply pointing out that people do not get on his case as harshly for this thing they claim Patton did.

Patton is the product of c!Thomas's inner learned morality + his feelings, which makes the host as guilty as any of them for that representation of trying to break out of a learned mindset, which Patton is. He's changing as c!Thomas learns, and making mistakes such as not listening to the other parts of Thomas that may suggest he is not a perfect, "good" person by their original standards. Categorizing yourself as a "good" or "bad" person based on some scoring system is not something you want to do: people DO good and bad (and neutral) things, they aren't good or bad themselves.

Labeling yourself as "good" may just help you justify everything you do even when it's objectively bad because "well I'm a good person so this is good too". And labeling yourself (or others labeling you) as "bad" might just make you feel stuck and like you can never be anything more, and so you just become it with all your decisions. These are not the human experience. Nuance aside, everything is relative and you'll be picking apart every aspect of yourself trying to figure out "which you are".

Thomas is essentially trying to convince part of himself that it'd be okay to go against his morals for a beneficial reason. There was no right answer (going to the wedding or not) that would make everyone happy; Patton was doing what they asked and giving Thomas the moral answer based on c!Thomas's sincere priorities (like his friendships and being trustworthy).

(Pat's the emotional center AND the moral center of Thomas, which conflict more often than not, and are part of the reason this guy really struggled with separating the two while making his case-- he's unfortunately the holder of both.)

Where Patton was wrong was putting others first 100% of the time. Now, to be fair to Patton, he did agree that there are times when you should put yourself first, but they were circumstantial and in service to helping others more. This isn't healthy and is on the extreme end close to self harmful because you're prioritizing others even when you don't have the means to give, which can lead to burnout and neglect of yourself. The "opposite" end of this is only caring about your own means and using others as a means to an end. Both of these can lead to ruining your social and emotional connections to others.

And again, these are manifestations of the inner turmoil c!Thomas is having. These are his beliefs (read as "moral code") vs his wants battling it out and no matter what he settled on given the options, he'd have been unhappy. (note though: Roman did bring up simply asking Lee and Mary Lee about this directly and sometimes open communication is the best solution-- a lot of the time, actually)

At the end of the day in this part, Patton was defending c!Thomas ' character and relationships (which are important to them) while Janus wanted c!Thomas to not feel obligated to put his own goals behind the wants of others, especially with minimum benefit in both regards (Thomas's presence at the wedding was less impactful for them than the callback would have potentially been for Thomas, and it was a high Opportunity Cost).

Patton is essentially a representation of a religious upbringing sticking certain ideals in your core beliefs that even once you separate yourself from it, still for better or worse guide a lot about you. He's changing and evolving from that, and I do get why a character like this puts a bad taste in people's mouths and they associate him with that. That's entirely valid and I get it. This isn't about that-- I'm not over here arguing he did nothing wrong or that you can't hate him for whatever reason you want, that's not what I'm saying nor what I care about here-- I'm just clearing up what I've seen in canon versus how a majority neurodivergent fandom with certain life experiences might have warped the view of him in hindsight. This is not a malicious jerk trying to get his way and at the other extreme, he's not an innocent bean who wasn't ever in the wrong.

There ARE other examples of him pushing points associated with his roles and having to change throughout the series to this point. He just is the one looked at the hardest out of the sides (who all do this at some point in the series) because he's supposed to have all the answers when morality is one of the most difficult things you have to figure out in life. He didn't claim to have all the answers, but c!Thomas needs them from him to be the best person he can, and that will ultimately conflict and be more complicated than the black-and-white morality kids get taught and then have to alter as they grow up and see a complex world.

We all have to deal with that and it's uncomfortable to confront it. It manifesting in one character separate from yourself is easier than consolidating that that's a part of everyone, and one that isn't fun to examine all the time. I just really like how the show brings philosophies I studied into the next episode, but do think that a chunk of the audience did misunderstand / block out what Patton was actually saying/trying to do...I'm gonna rewatch the Redux episode and also keep an eye out for what people might be talking about when they specifically talk about his actions being problematic there, but I definitely believe the intent of this character (and how Thomas has presented him) does not get to the conclusion of him being willfully any more pushy or mistaken than the others at one point or another.

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[whimsyvixen]

He's so pretty, I want his Egyptian dick down my throat

(I already know, I suck at coloring but it's the effort that counts 😭)

[astronnova]

doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday

[hinamie]

all i have left

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

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[mirensiart]

a small silly comic for the pain sharing curse au before I throw the really painful comics at y’all

(I also didn’t feel like coloring this one)

also can confirm, my baby cousin once said I was super cringe and I haven’t recovered since :(

(wind apologizes later though since his grandma raised him right)

[gomzdrawfr]

Getting creative with recognition

uh not so cute/funny random drabble of the AU:

warning: not proofread and just me rambling, bad writing LMAO

[eggbuggy]

Mdhm gang in bunads (traditional Norwegian clothing) because they’d look fancy

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[motorghost]

anyone else get occasionally assaulted by thoughts of holmes and/or watson dying in sussex? like, maybe one day, when they are both very old, holmes wakes up to watson in his arms and he knows right away. he genuinely believed he would be the first to go. he steps downstairs and lights up a pipe. he stands there for a long time. he writes a few letters and sends them out. he walks around the house, observing everything. then he goes outside to sit near the bees. he listens to their soft humming and passes away in the sunshine.

or, one day, when they are both very old, watson comes back from the village to see holmes asleep in his chair. he knows right away. he genuinely believed he would be the first to go. he sobs and sobs and sobs. he writes letters by candlelight. then he writes more. he writes until he has nothing left to say. then he goes out and sits by the bees, who are all silent. he passes away under the moon.

[periwinkle-the-11th]

ngl as a chronic-pain-haver who regularly sorrows over the lack of chronic-pain-comfort-fics, getting into jayvik is doing great things for me.

[aroaceleovaldez]

we should make Nico more fucked up, actually. enough woobifying him. that boy should be covered in blood and viscera

[piss-stained-jorts]

BABYGIRL YOUR SMILE GIV ES ME LIFE I LOVE YOU

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

edwin is a better, stronger man than i, because i would be infinitely more dramatic and petty in his position when crystal enters the scene and charles starts paying attention to her. i would have comic!edwin’s reaction at least (accusing charles of choosing girls over him, storming off to solve cases on his own and deciding to do shit that will get him into trouble so that charles has to come rescue him, etc) but i’d probably take it a step further. i’d be like “i guess you want me to go back to hell then since i’m basically nothing to you 😒” and then i’d legitimately go back to hell JUST to see if he came after me. if he didn’t come after me then an eternity of torture in hell is nothing compared to the pain of rejection and being replaced. but i’m also incredibly mentally ill, so.

(james acaster once told a story about a christmas where he asked his parents for a spice girls cd. he found out whilst at the pool with his family that his sister was getting the cd instead of him. naturally, he tried to drown himself in the pool to make his parents feel guilty. that’s my vibe if i were ever in edwin’s position.)