#it just makes me wildly uncomfortable
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šā°š His glass eyes glisten in the candlelight and I am filled with envy... Will I ever look at such a small flame with so much wonder? Will I ever be able to warm my little hands on one?
#otherkin#alterhuman#nonhuman#dollkin#ball jointed dollkin#doll otherkin#porcelain dollkin#haunted dollkin#bjdollkin#objectkin#please don't download images that I personally take#it just makes me wildly uncomfortable
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Iām curious why you found Inside Out 2 insulting? I recognize that everyone is different, but as someone with an anxiety disorder I personally found it pretty relatable
Throughout my teenage years, when my anxiety was at its most debilitating and my coping skills were basically nonexistent, I was repeatedly met with the idea that "every teen is a bit anxious". This, to an extent, is true, being a teenager IS scary and you're probably going to have some level of anxiety. However, I had an active anxiety disorder. I was prone to frequent panic attacks, skipping school because I couldn't even fathom the idea of going to class out of just sheer intense dread and fear, and all around just having an extremely bad time. I went into the movie with an already decently negative expectation because of that, I didn't like how anxiety was shown to show up ONLY when Riley became a teenager, BUT I was willing to set aside my own distaste of it for the sake of like, I do get why they went the direction of adding new emotions as characters, as much as I disagree with that.
However I found it wildly insulting because I feel the level of intense anxiety Riley is shown to have breaches what I'd consider a "normal" level of anxiety and instead feels more like an anxiety disorder, which, again, it angers me to be once again met with the idea that you only get anxious once you're a teenager, or when signs of much higher levels of anxiety than just normal nervousness are brushed aside with that excuse.
Barring that issue, though that is the biggest in my opinion, basically at every corner I was annoyed by something. This movie felt like it could've been incredibly relatable to me, I was a horrendously anxious teen (Still am anxious just not a teen and also I'm better at coping now) in competitive highschool sports (Yes marching band IS a sport I DO die on this hill), but like... it just continually let me down. The coach is genuinely an asshole, doing things like not showing what the expectations are and then proceeding to single out who she knows are the newcomers as breaking rules that had not been properly established, failing to recognize Riley clearly struggling mentally, and honestly, the biggest sin, fucking letting her in the sport at all. Riley's outburst at the other players should've gotten her taken out of the running entirely, I refuse to believe otherwise.
Which, this is kind of all over the place because I'm not really writing this as a full proper breakdown and more just "Jay angrily rambles to an anon with no direction", but hey, SUPER don't like that Riley's over-practicing isn't really called out at all as being harmful. The ROOT of it is, we know she's only doing that because anxiety is driving her to do that, but like... she performs really well. She's met by the older student (I forget her name, God) with positivity for this, and I'm personally just kind of uncomfortable with how her overworking herself is viewed as just like... neutral. And it's only the fact it's stemming from anxiety that's bad.
There's a lot more (I found the pacing bad, I think, ESPECIALLY given that this is a childrens movie, Riley should've been given EXPLICIT help from the people around her barring just "her friends say they're still friends", I think things like anxiety driving her to look at the notebook yet NOT considering the janitor walking by is just... stupid, and in my experience, not at all how anxiety manifests, ect, ect), but ultimately this is not like, a serious breakdown, more just me listing off the top of my head the things that really fucking annoyed me. Also, Ennui was a stupid character. I mean all of the new emotions were fucking stupid because they're all VERY derivative of OTHER emotions if you've made the commitment that the entire range of human emotion be boiled down to just joy/sadness/anger/fear/disgust, but whatever.
I thought the video game guy was funny though. I'm a sucker for those kinds of jokes. I like that his hair routinely was clipping through his outfit
#FOR THE RECORD not mad at you anon <3#and id have to go reference my original ramblings i had with lane to make a more structured takedown of everything that bothered me#but generally i think it failed to present anxiety in a way i think is helpful- rather perpetrating the exact sentiment-#-that i find WILDLY unhelpful and frequently very harmful#and also given that its target audience is children- i think it failed to give kids resources of which to actually HELP themselves-#-or express themselves better when they ARE anxious#I think the core of my issue is just. I think the way Riley is shown falls much more in line with disordered anxiety than just normal teen-#-anxiousness. and it upsets me that its not treated as such and not shown respect as such#ALSO. HEY SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE IMPLICATION OF HER EMOTIONS NOT KNOWING HER SECRETS#that makes me deeply uncomfortable bc like. that implies some more serious issues at play#which yes obviously the movie is not trying to imply that At All. but i still feel its a bit irresponsible with that anyways
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She's the right hand woman of a crime boss and then the little guy is the agent trying to take down the organization and she's like "oh my what a good little boy!" and watches him practically wag his tail and is like ....... wild.
So then she later is talking to her boss and gets a call the agent is back and she's like OH LOVELY. And tells their henchmen not to engage with the agent AT ALL she wants to deal with him and then winks to her boss and says he needs to get lost. So then she hurries to the agent and is like "IT'S THE CUTIE!" and he again flinches and blushes and is like "m-m-ma'am! hello!" and once again she just. Is like ..... wild.
#my characters#funny little agent man is actually very good at his job and is actually causing a lot of problems#and big bad crime boss is getting very annoyed that this guy is so hard to defeat and toss to the side#but little agent is just a funny little guy ! he keeps popping up !#pretty woman is just this is very funny and i will gladly stall our destruction by complimenting the little fella#and then just outta nowhere asks the boss one day#hey rud do you think i could adopt the little agent bc i think hed make a good son#and the boss is like absolutely not and also dont bring it up again i dont like this topic and it makes me uncomfortable#she absolutely brings it up again but to the agent while she knows her boss is listening and she knows hes suffering#wildly only the boss has a name and i haven't posted him bc im still ... trying#to draw him ........ in the way i want him .... but its me attempting to draw someone a bit bulkier cause i only draw beanpoles#its not going well as you may imagine
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Gf loves when I get tipsy bc I get very wide eyed and giggly and even more eager to be pushed around than when I'm sober š
(DNI if you: are a cishet man, are under 18, do not have your age on your blog, or post agepl-y, dd/lg, hard cnc, r-pe play, inc-st kink, dyke/breaking content, mis/gendering kink, or d-trans kink)
#intox#(tagging just to be safe)#i do not engage in much c/nc content bc much of it makes me WILDLY uncomfortable#like. intensely so#but this post is definitely a lil touch of intox kink so ill tag it for those who find intoxicated sex similarly uncomfortable#please dni if you are a hard c/nc blog (hence the bolded)#text#baby š#lesbian nsft#sapphic nsft#wlw nsft#nblw nsft#t4t nsft#trans nsft#alcohol mention cw
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thinking sashisuri thoughts ā¦ā¦ā¦
#i am . the (unwilling) baby of the relationship#iām stuck between imagining it as a childhood friends au or a uni au but like#either way itās basically just . sashisu adopting me#i am whipped for all of them#and they coddle me ā¦ a littleā¦.. lotā¦ā¦ā¦#i get to sit in the passengerās seat next to sugu everytime weāre all driving somewhere#and when satoshoko have been arguing over what takeout to buy for too long sugu gives me the final say#(it makes me extremely uncomfortable but heās just like :) tell me what you want. donāt mind the idiots.)#ā¦.. and i always pick . sushi š#if i get a piece i donāt like i can just feed it to one of the three bc their tastes r so wildly different one of them always wants it#itās a very laidback n soft relationship i think :3 they like wrapping me up in blankets like iām a sushi roll#iām gonna be so honest i think i just like saying sashisuri . sashisuri . sashisur#ari noises ā©#selfshippy stuff ā©
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Sometimes I think about the jschlatt fan who stopped supporting dndads because the cast was āproblematicā. I wonder what theyāre doing right now.
#thatās the most wild thing to me#I truly do like#it comes to mind so often#people are wild#meanwhile I ignore the fact Freddie did a stream with that man bc he makes me wildly uncomfortable#and I must not think of him#this isnāt me taking any sort of stance I just think itās pot and kettle lmao#dndads#dungeons and daddies#schlatt ment#jschlatt mention
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fun fact, the breaking point that led me to finally cave and make this sideblog was watching youtube shorts and the algorithm decied to throw a TON of hazbin hotel / helluva boss stuff at me and one came up with Lucifer Charlie's dad just as like. one of those edits and THEN i scroll and THE NEXT ONE IS SOMEONE DRAWING THE FALL FROM HEAVEN and i decided right then and there that on top of my demon fixation coping mechanism i now am going to project heavily onto LUCIFER HIMSELF.
#aster.txt#exmo moment#religious trauma#ell oh ell#exmo#exmormon#ex mormon#ex cult#apostate#i really like hazbin hotel /helluva boss's worldbuilding though#its like the only media that depicts anything even remotely christian that i can actually handle without it fucking me up#i havent watched good omens yet but im sure that one will make me project all sorts of issues#ive been watching the good place and even that one sets me off sometimes#im too messed up for anything even vaguely remniscent of how i was raised#but anyway yeah hazbin hotel youtube edits made me realize i relate to lucifer himself#and ive been going through faith crisis shit for EVER but even just like a year or two ago if you told me that#id have been so wildly uncomfortable for various reasons#i think thats funny#my religious trauma is so funny sometimes#mmmmmm demons
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subnautica is such a fucking great game im so mad that it scares me too much to play it
#subnautica#text#buggieās rambles#the fucking creepvines make me wildly uncomfortable#i do Not like the way they move. its disconcerting#and the aurora and the islands trigger my megalophobia literally just by being in my line of sight#it sucks that i just have to stick with watching jacksepticeyes playhtrough a million times over#I MEAN HES GREAT AND I LOVE SEAN JACKSEPTICEYE#but i wanna be able to play the game myself#i bought it years ago#but it scares the living hell out of me so i cant play it. like. at all#that is unless i feel like risking a panic attack
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forgetting which of the OCs are lesbians and which are bisexual because the insane dykery and problematic sexuality is so strong in all of them. hashtag feminism.
#original fiction quartet#devin is one of those dykes who IDed as a straight man at one point and then was clocked#thru another dyke (ruby) being like 'idk why i like u specifically so much but i do'#that's mostly a joke i think devin was openly genderfluid upon meeting ruby. timelines are muddy tho who cares.#ruby is one of those dykes who's like 'isn't it crazy how i'm bisexual but would be wildly uncomfortable sleeping with or marrying a man'#'women just make me feel safe and happy for some reason even when theyre terrible murderers :)'#'ruby i think you're just a lesbian' 'no'#sol is very 'so great how i can choose to only fuck women these days' 'didnt you have a husband' 'do i have a husband now?? bitch????'#nova's happy with devin being her wife and would call any older man daddy but wouldnt call any older woman mommy. hashtag misogyny#in conclusion. they are all terrible and hilarious. and contain multitudes#original fiction
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pleeeease fandom stop putting me in a qpr with that guy and calling it our canon characters we literally barely knew each other and if anything we didnāt even like each otherrrrr please i just want to read fanfiction
#purpšŖ»#donāt get me started on how oddly romantic they make some of thse#like itās to a disturbingly uncomfortable degree too#no offense to any very romantic qprs btw itās just this specific scenario makes me wildly uncomfortable
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"you can't just ignore massive narratively consequential chunks of a characters' story that you don't like or disagree with" actually i can. and i do. and it's very easy ^_^
#this is abt harley and joker's entire relationship/dynamic btw#i will never forgive dc for making him a domestic abuser#i'm not a violent person generally but unironically i would give my life savings to fistfight every writer/creator who's been complicit in#that dynamic ^_^ i'm so mad i'm so fuckcing mad#i can excuse child murder / terrorism / assorted mass murder but i draw the line at hitting your partner#(joking. it has nothing to do with my mortality it's literally just a cptsd trigger for me lmfao)#but also the entire thing (heavily queer-coded character acting like a misogynistic wifebeater) is genuinely wildly homophobic and that Also#makes me IMMENSELY uncomfortable#the concept in general is. questionable at best but the way dc writers handled it in particular. fucking gross#this post also applies to bruce being physically abusive to his kids#no i don't consider him a good father but He Would Not Fucking Do That#more importantly ALFRED would not LET him do that#i am so full of rage and malice and resentment#ānoooo you can't do that you're removing important bits of their characterizationā i do not fucking CARE. go cry harder about it#anyway this isn't in response to anything i'm just in a mood (off my meds)
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Why donāt you want five in school?
Oh, I've ranted about it before in the tags of THIS POST but in general it makes me wildly uncomfortable. As an adult, the thought of hypothetically being forced back to high school is the fucking pits, you could not pay me enough to do it - and I even had a good time in high school! Five is almost 60 years old and they're going to force him to go to classes and hang out with teens? That feels bad from every angle! It forces Five to act in a way he'd only do under great duress and fucks his agency and autonomy as an adult so badly. There are better, more interesting ways to play with the consequences of his physical vs actual age than sending him to goddamn high school. There's other, less dominating options for the "he looks like a kid and never actually graduated" problem.
You do you if that's your jam, don't let a random dude on the internet yuck your yum, but Five in high school is a squick for me.
#i'm not here to tell anyone to do one thing or another#or ruin anyone's fun#but it's a thing i will not engage with (except to complain because that's my right on my blog in asks asking me specifically about it)#anyway#it really just comes down to how badly it fucks five's autonomy and erases his actual identity for it to work and him to cooperate#he gets absolutely *nothing* out of the situation#he's so wildly in a different life stage and situation than anyone in high school#and forcing him to hang out there for a quick gag is a waste of the limited time we have left with him as a character in a final season#use that moment for some actual character exploration and something that actually tells us more about him#and how he deals with no powers and new universe#my personal pick is he's drinking A Lot and doing Not Much because he doesn't actually know what to do without a Goal to work towards#and passed between siblings because he can't get his own place because he Looks Like Child#the dichotomy between his physical and actual age is one of my very favorite thing to explore for five - the consequences of it for him#and this does it in a Bad Way imo#makes me feel Bad and Uncomfortable#a squick!#ask response#shark's enemy: five in high school#i have strong feelings about this thing that has a sliver of a chance of happening#but it does have that /sliver/ of a chance so i can't just dismiss it#and this is the end of shark's negativity corner now
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lowkey nervous to post rn cause someone i have blocked FOR SURE has access to this account and has relayed information to my ex.
#thank fuck it wasnt in a malicious way (i hope)#but god can you like be normal and maybe not?? do that????#sorry guys this shit gets me paranoid because this has happened TWICE NOW with two different relationships#the first time it was malicious and it made me very very paranoid#so i am not too happy that it happened again uhm#maybe just. leave people who block you. alone#common sense i fear /lh#idc if it ended up helping me get back in contact with someone i care about#it still makes me wildly uncomfortable that this even happened
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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as a gay guy, I love the obey me bros and I love ur writing, but idk I just feel so upset reading m!mc x lucifer works because he's like totally my type, but for some reason I feel as though he would never be attracted to another guy. it just makes me so depressed while reading amazing writing like yours that provide content for amab, trans and masc presenting people . Like ill read the work that include him with a female or woman mc and he just seems so in-character, like he truly loves her, but with a guy mc (or even Diavolo!) he feels so out of character and that he'll be homophobic like those typical traditional masculine men. I I feel as though he'll tell me he's not into men if i ever tried to flirt with him and idk beat me up (jkjk) like there's this inner part of me that knows 'Lucifer would never set his eyes on another man', 'he's only gentlemanly to females', and it's only reinforced by the sheer amount of lucifer works that contain fem!mc x lucifer content, as if even those authors know deep down that Lucifer is straight. Sorry for venting, i just want to know that your work in the fandom is appreciated and that i can overcome such internalized hateā¦
...I appreciate the compliments, but don't send me asks like this, please.
#pansy speaks#I didn't think I was a big enough blog to have this problem#please don't send me vent asks#i'm not a therapist#nor am i your friend#i don't even know who you are#please imagine I am just a stranger on the street and treat me like that#I'm going to assume the sender is a minor who doesn't know internet etiquette#and doesn't know that it's inappropriate to share your very personal problems to a stranger#who has not explicitly said they're okay with such messages#if i write about mental health problems in my fics it's because I have mental health problems#not because i want to hear about yours or am qualified to advise you#i really don't want to be mean#but this makes me WILDLY uncomfortable#don't do this again.
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hey guys dont like. flirt with us in the inbox. we should Not have to say this again really
#[jay]#just a bit ridiculous innit#also. me and ren have girlfriends so it makes us WILDLY uncomfortable to see#and literally Nobody enjoys it#dont know why you guys are doin this shit again. cut that out.#okay thank you for your consideration.#i leave you with a final message:#oh my god i love my boyfriend ohh my gooddd ohhh my fuckign god#that is all.
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