#it just keeps falling out of my brain

[thebluestbluewords]

More of the body swap fic I’m not writing:

(part one here)

Oh, evil. Mal's in Jay's body, Jay's in Evie's body, Evie's in Carlos's body, which means that Carlos is currently piloting Mal's body. 

"Where did you let Carlos take my body?" 

Evie winces. "Just down to your locker! We just let him pick up your spellbook, which was the right thing to do, and then, um." 

Oh no. 

"What happened." Mal manages, around the rock of dread sitting in her throat. Teachers, explosions, an adverse magical reaction with the spellbook leading to magical explosions…there’s so many things that could have gone wrong in the time she was asleep, and so few ways to fix them while she’s stuck in the wrong body. 

Evie goes to push her hair back, realizes mid-gesture that Carlos’s body doesn’t have long hair, and settles for tugging on her bangs instead. It’s the same gesture that Ben makes when he’s nervous, which is weirdly sweet to think about. It’s sort of neat that they share unconscious gestures with each other when they’re thrown out of their usual sets. 

 "He sort of ran into your boyfriend. I figure that we can’t really make things worse than they already are, what with the lying to him, and the magic, and the fact that you cooked up this plan to try and get us to double for you anyway, so we're just starting the doubling process a little bit early, that's all!"  

No. 

No no no. 

Evie leans forward. "Mal? Babe? What’s wrong?” 

Mal’s stomach drops like a stone. Weird. She usually feels dread in her chest, not her gut. Apparently emotional reactions are stored in the body, not the mind, or whatever they’ve swapped. "It's Friday night. Date night."

"It's fine!” Evie-as-Carlos says quickly, sitting back as her voice squeaks and cracks on the end of her words. Fascinating. Once they’re back in the correct bodies, Mal is going to have to take advantage of that. She didn't have nearly enough fun tormenting Jay while his voice was cracking, and Carlos is too good at hiding things from her to show such a potential weakness. But now that she knows the potential is there, there’s so much fun to be had in finding just the right ways to make him squeak. “Carlos knows how to go on a date, right?"

Oh, gods. 

The last time Mal saw either of their boys on a date, it was with each other, in their correct bodies, and the building they were last spotted in exploded under deeply suspicious circumstances the next morning. Well after they were in the clear, of course, but early enough that Mal couldn’t very well be fucked to wake up and snoop around after them. It’s possible that living in Auradon has changed them for the better, but Mal’s seen the sort of explosives that Carlos thinks are appropriate for flirting, and unless things have changed a lot more than she’s been told, they’ll be lucky if the school is still standing in an hour. 

"As me??" Mal squawks. “Really?” 

Evie considers this for all of three seconds, but it’s a very active sort of consideration. Or possibly it’s just that Evie’s used to being constantly aware of what her face is doing, and any micro-expression she makes looks big on Carlos’s face. Some of them, Mal is realizing, don’t have very many facial expressions. 

"Okay, maybe not,” Evie says slowly. “But they've been out there for… almost an hour at this point, and I haven't received any more texts about imminent danger, so it's probably fine."

“More?” Mal shrieks. It’s lower than expected. More of an enraged howl than a shriek of anger. Fascinating, says the part of her brain that isn’t occupied with the current issue at hand. She’ll have to try shouting more later, see what other stupid noises she can get out of Jay’s body before they swap back.  “More?? And what do you mean, probably? Evie, this isn’t just some random date that you can dip out on at the end of the night and never see again. This is my boyfriend, and our friend, and he knows all of us. He’s going to realize that something isn’t right, and there’s no way he’s going to let it go. He’s been asking me for weeks if I’m ‘okay’ and if I should be ‘talking to someone’ about the ‘stress in my life’, like talking to an adult has ever made somebody less stressed about things.” 

“You aren’t seeing a therapist?” 

“Not you too!” 

Evie goes for an exasperated look this time, which works surprisingly well. They should make a book, like one of the stupid emotional ones that the stupid school therapist had pulled out the one time Mal actually sat through a therapy session. Identifying Emotions on Your Friends, they could call it. It’d be useful, actually. A sort of reference guide for the next time she fucks up and switches their bodies around like the worst ever game of musical chairs. 

“M, I thought you were already going to therapy! You have a block in your calendar every week that literally says therapy, 4pm. I’m going to regret asking this, but what are you doing during that time if you’re not, y’know, going to your court-mandated therapy appointment?” 

Jay’s face is easy to set into a smile, and much harder to get into a workable sulky expression. Mal is persistent though, so she manages. “I’m throwing rocks at children.” 

Don’t tell don’t tell don’t tell, she sends psychically to Jay, just in case there’s a secret body-mind connection still at play here. Don’t tell or I’ll disembowel you. 

“She’s sneaking out to cause mayhem, obviously,” Jay says, letting a little half smile play at the corner of Evie’s mouth. He’s been putting the time they’ve been ignoring him to wicked use, and the expression is much more believable on Evie’s face than the first ones he tried. “C’mon, Eves. I leave therapy to go outside and hit shit all the time, it’s no big deal if Mal’s not going.” 

Evie’s eyes narrow, and she tries to put her hands on her hips. Unfortunately for her, Carlos’s body is about eighty pounds soaking wet, and doesn’t have much hip for her to work with. 

“Do the words court-mandated mean nothing to you?” Evie hisses, quickly crossing her arms instead in a shockingly decent recovery move. “Mal Bertha, once I’m back in my body I am going to drag you down there myself, and if you don’t cooperate I’m going to tie you up and carry you, and I’ll get Jordan to help me, so the ropes are going to be cute and glittery, and you’ll have cat hair on you the whole time.” 

“Do your worst, princess,” Mal coos. It works surprisingly well in a lower register. Performatively flirty is easy in Jay’s body, which really isn’t surprising. “I’d love for you to tie me up and have your wicked way with me.” 

[lemongogo]

life of regret

[paintedcrows]

Assorted Gravity Falls doodles!

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

A phone call between brothers (takes place AFTER this incident and Fiddleford's phone call)

Sorry if this is OOC!

[tombstoneswerewaiting]

parallels in fob songs no. 63942

[cheekblush]

took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.

[neopet-euthanization]

dude people who refuse to even look at something they disagree with is a red flag. and before this becomes a “piss on the poor” post, this isn’t about looking at things that are genuinely upsetting, or allowing yourself to fall into rabbit holes or accept into your belief system things that you are opposed to. it just means, if every opinion you have is so fragile you refuse to even glance at the opposite perspective…. like, that’s bad dude. thinking that it’s okay to insulate yourself from opposing opinions “because you’re the good guy and they’re the bad guy” or similar logic… this is assuming you already know and understand something you refuse to even engage with…. do you see the flaw in the logic?

this is gonna sound crazy but hear me out. go watch a trial. go watch a legal battle play out in court. play jury duty for a little while. actually hear both sides out. realize that it doesn’t shrink the truth to hear out both sides - it strengthens it!

[sollucets]

wrote a whole long post that didn't make sense because i'm a fic writer not a meta writer and the point comes down to this: sand and ray are both Such Bad Liars

they have honest faces. nobody, in-universe or in the audience, is ever really fooled when they pretend things are other than they are.

when sand is hurt you can tell, it's in every line of his body. ray is expressive and straightforward but hides his hurt a little better, not because he's better at lying but because the hurt hardly ever goes away.

ray can see sand freezing up and looking upset when he's called a friend or not prioritized, he can see the lie, but it doesn't matter compared to what sand's actually saying and what it'll mean if it's (not) true. he's gotten a lesson recently about pushing. and sand, i think, can see ray caring but he can't imagine it could be enough, that he could matter the most or be a priority. when ray calls sand a whore it's the only lie he told that night and sand knows it

when they hurt each other sand lies and pulls away and ray can tell, and similarly ray lies and pulls away and sand can tell, and theyre stuck in limbo because of it. awful. hate it. 10000 more just like it please

[yellowhollyhock]

Thinking about Mikey jumping off the roof thinking to himself "huh what's squirrel formation when did we go over that? I'm sure Leo wouldn't say something that doesn't make sense so I guess we must have gone over squirrel formation. oh well no time I can ask later"

or even "well he obviously didn't say that but I don't know what he did say so I can either get yelled at now or in two more seconds after we jump meh I'm jumping"

[unriding]

hi hi evie !!! i hope youre doing swell today !!! remember to take breaks from your booth !! heres a refresher 🤲

hey … nick? hi nick! hope you’re doing great!! im picking myself off the floor right now JSNDNKC so actually this is my 5th attempt at typing a proper response (in total i have probably written about a full scientific report’s amount of info about this and decided it still did not do your ask any justice..)

gif A is me clutching onto this ask sobbing, gif B is me still clutching onto his ask sobbing, gif C is me after my tears flood my house (the ask is safe inside my pocket of course…)

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinking so so hard about LaughingStock and how that'd go down. disastrously, probably

[skwivr]

-

[crossbackpoke-check]

Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee

dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.

jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3

[pinkfey]

“if i turn from doing what’s right, i’ll lose myself” / “then i’m coming with you” / “i know :)”

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts