#it just feels… weird and off putting and wrong

[rhiannonsknife]

── SHATTER YOUR ILLUSIONS OF LOVE

— summary: lucy finds something interesting in an abandoned store. it’s not what she thinks it is.

— warnings: fem!reader. implied lesbian!reader. nsfw content. mdni. strap-on usage. for the sake of the fic, we gotta ignore the sanitary aspect of this.

the wind howls through the cracked windows of the abandoned storefront, rattling the metal grates hanging half off their hinges.

you’re leaning against the weathered brick wall right outside, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently, and your eyes scanning the empty street for signs of trouble.

traveling through the wasteland was a gamble already, and stopping anywhere for too long only upped the odds of drawing unwanted attention. but lucy had insisted she needed to check inside, claiming she’d seen ‘something interesting’ through the remains of grime-streaked glass.

that had been ten minutes ago.

“lucy,” you call, raising your voice over the wind. “are you done yet?”

her laugh echoes from inside, light and carefree, followed by her reply: “almost” lucy calls. there’s a long pause, then the unmistakable sound of something heavy clattering to the ground.

you groan, letting your head fall back against the wall. this wasn’t unusual; lucy’s curiosity was perhaps simultaneously her best and worst trait. she had a knack for finding weird, useless junk and being way too excited about it. not that you minded. most days, her by wasteland standards unique disposition was the only thing keeping you sane. not today though, today, you’re cold, tired, and running low on patience.

finally, the door creaks open behind you.

“hey!” she calls. “look what i found!”

you push off the wall and turn to face her…and immediately feel your brain short-circuit.

lucy stands before you, beaming like she’s just stumbled upon the wasteland’s greatest treasure. she’s wearing…something: leather straps crisscross her chest, looping around her shoulders and down her torso in a series of buckles and loops. the centerpiece, an empty ring attachment, sits just below her chest. clearly not where it’s supposed to be, but it’s not like lucy knows that. nor does she seem aware of what she’s put on to begin with.

it’s a strap-on harness.

“oh my god,” you choke out, heat rushing to your face so fast you feel dizzy with it.

“what?” lucy looks down at herself, tugging lightly at one of the straps. “pretty cool, right? it was just lying there in the back of the store! i think it’s some kind of…uh…” she frowns, tilting her head as she spins to give you the full view. “tool belt? or maybe armor? either way, it’s really sturdy! feel this leather!” she grabs one of the straps near her shoulder and holds it out to you.

you don’t take it. matter of fact, you can’t. you’re too busy trying to remember how breathing works, because all you can think about is the way the harness fits snugly against her body, though entirely wrong, the leather gleaming faintly in the dim light, and how absolutely oblivious she is to what it actually is.

“lucy,” you manage, voice embarrassingly high-pitched. “that’s not- it’s not- oh my god, take it off!”

she blinks, startled by your reaction. “what? why? did i put it on wrong?”

“no, i mean…yes, but that’s not the point!” you gesture at her frantically, as if that’ll somehow distract from the mortifying situation. “it’s just- it’s not what you think it is, okay?” you try to explain, pointing at the leather “that is not a tool belt!”

lucy’s brow furrows in confusion as she adjusts the straps around her shoulders. “then what is it?”

you gape at her, torn between laughter and sheer disbelief. how do you even begin to explain this to her? clearly, she hasn’t seen those in her vault.

“it’s- it’s a-“ you cut yourself off with a groan, burying your face in your hands. there is no way you’re explaining this to her. absolutely not.

“what?” lucy presses, her curiosity clearly piqued. “what’s it for?”

“nothing!” you yelp, your voice cracking. “it’s for nothing! just take it off before-” you gesture vaguely at the very much empty street. “…before someone sees you!”

she glances around, perplexed, following your outstretched finger. “but no one’s here…?”

“that’s not the point!” you can feel your cheeks burning hotter by the second. “lucy, just- just trust me on this, okay? please?”

lucy hesitates for a moment, clearly not understanding but willing to humor you. “alright, alright,” she finally agrees, reaching for the buckles. “but i still think it’s a good find! i’m keeping this!”

you turn away as she starts to unstrap herself, both to give her privacy and to avoid spontaneously combusting from sheer embarrassment. despite all the dangers of the wastelands, you’re pretty sure traveling with lucy maclean is what’s actually going to kill you.

by the time lucy gets the harness off and stashes it in her pack (for some unfathomable reason), the sun is starting to dip low on the horizon, painting the scenery in streaks of amber and rust. after a full day of walking and scavenging, this crumbling storefront seems as good a place as any to settle down for the night.

“well,” you say, clearing your throat and trying to move past the initial awkwardness, “i guess this place’ll do. better than sleeping out in the open, at least!”

“it’s not bad,” lucy says cheerfully, looking around the store’s interior again.

the place, from which you can only assume that it is the ruins of what once was an adult store, is mostly empty, save for a few rusted shelves, a broken counter at the far end and a few boxes left in the old shelves.

there’s no sign of wildlife, which you consider a plus, and the building’s thick walls provide decent protection from the wind. “way better than that place we stayed last week. remember that weird smell? ugh…”

you hum in agreement, busying yourself with clearing a space on the floor. truthfully, it isn’t the worst spot you’ve camped in.

“you take first watch,” lucy says, dropping her pack with a soft thud. “i’ll take a quick nap and take over in a few hours?“

she’s adapting to how sleep works out here, at least, and you nod your head. “i could use some quiet time anyway,”

lucy nods, satisfied, and stretches out on the ground, rolling up her jacket like a makeshift pillow. “wake me if anything weird happens,” she says, closing her eyes.

you lean back against the wall, rifle propped an arm length away, trying to ignore the ache in your muscles and the stubborn heat still lingering in your cheeks.

now, the image of lucy in that harness races unbidden through your mind. it comes in flashes; pictures of her, with a strap now firmly attached to her body. lucy, on top of you, her face pressed to the crook of your neck as she rolls her hips. behind you, with her fingers curling up in your hair as she forces you back against her. above you, with your lips stretched around her-

you shake your head violently to banish it. you need to focus. there are bigger problems in the world than your ridiculous crush on someone who might not even swing your way at all.

but, of course, lucy doesn’t make it easy.

after barely twenty minutes of silence, she stirs and sits up, rubbing at her eyes.

“couldn't sleep?” you ask, raising a brow at her.

“nope,” she reaches into her bag and pulls out the leather harness again. “i keep thinking about this thing…” she mutters, running her fingertips over the ring.

you groan, dragging a hand down your face. “lucy, just drop it! it’s-”

she doesn’t. of course she doesn’t,

instead, she flips the harness over in her hands, fiddling with the straps as she examines it from every angle. instinctively, you reach for your rifle just to have a distraction.

“i mean, it’s pretty well-made,” she muses, tugging on one of the buckles. “whoever made it must’ve known what they were doing. and it’s got this…ring thing? maybe for carrying tools?”

“it’s not for tools!” you blurt, louder than intended. lucy looks up, startled. “well, then what is it for?”

you sigh, setting your rifle aside.

“can't you just let it go?”

you stare at her. lucy is watching you with those wide, curious eyes, completely oblivious to the mortifying reality of the situation. a part of you wants to lie. to make up some ridiculous story about it being part of a long-lost survival kit. another part of you knows you’re a terrible liar, and that she won’t drop it until she gets a real answer.

“well, i could,” lucy shrugs, “but you're being…weird about it, which makes me think it's actually kind of important! and now i really want to know!”

you glance at the open doorway, down rows of shelves, the faint breeze stirring the dust on the floor, as if hoping for some kind of divine intervention to save you. it doesn't come.

“fine,” you mutter, standing. “come on!”

lucy grins triumphantly, bouncing to her feet and following as you lead her to the far corner of the store.

she trails after you, harness in hand, until you crouch down by one of the dusty shelves, brushing aside cobwebs before pulling out one of the few remaining boxes you passed by earlier. it’s heavy and battered, but the faded label on the side is still legible and it is still sealed shut

“alright,” you say, placing it on the ground before you. “this,” you tell lucy as you pull a knife from your belt. “is the counterpart to what you're holding!”

without another word, you cut the plastic open and, after some more layers of carefully sealed packaging, pull out the bright neon-pink silicone dildo. you hold it up just long enough for her to get a good look before tossing it back into the box.

lucy blinks, eyes wide, and for a moment, she says nothing. then her mouth opens in a soft “oh,”

she kneels beside the box, staring at its contents with an unreadable expression. “wait, so...” she picks up the dildo again, and turns it over in her hands, her brow furrowing as she connects the dots. “this goes with the harness?”

“yes,” you say quickly, folding your arms across your chest. “and that's why i didn't want to talk about it. can we move on now?”

lucy, on the other hand, doesn't seem remotely embarrassed. if anything, she looks intrigued.

she puts it back in the box and stands, holding the harness up to her hips as if testing its fit.

“so it's, like... for, uh... intimacy stuff? sex?” she asks, her tone genuinely curious.

“yes, lucy,” you say, your voice tight as you force your gaze away. “it's for ‘intimacy stuff’,” then, after a beat of silence, you decide this might be your only chance to get your truth out as well: “specifically for people like...like me, i guess?”

she looks at you then, her eyes softening slightly. “like you?”

“yeah,” you shift uncomfortably under her gaze, heart pounding. “you know? people who don't really, uh, like guys…that way…?”

understanding dawns on her face, but instead of recoiling or making a joke, she simply nods. another pause, then: “so, like, women who…prefer other women?”

your throat feels dry. “yeah. something like that,”

lucy looks back at the harness, a thoughtful expression on her face. then, to your utter horror, she starts fiddling with the straps again, this time more deliberately.

“what are you doing?” you ask, your voice rising slightly.

“trying it on,” she replies matter-of-factly, stepping into the harness and pulling it up over her hips. she tightens the straps with surprising ease, the leather settling snugly against her body. “it's comfortable,” she says conversationally, running her fingers along the waistband.

all you can do is stare at her dumbfounded. “lucy,”

she glances at you, her face the picture of innocence. “what? you said it's for people like you, right? i just want to see what it's like!”

“people like me using it,” you practically hiss. “not people like you…wearing it around like it's a pair of pants!”

lucy laughs, but there's a glint in her eye now, something playful and teasing that wasn't there before. she shifts her hips slightly, the leather creaking, and you have to fight the urge to look away. or worse, stare.

“calm down” she says. “it’s not a big deal, right? just a harness!”

your heart pounds in your chest as lucy tilts her head, watching you with that same curious gaze. there's no judgment in her expression, nor is there discomfort. just a quiet, steady interest that leaves you completely off balance.

“look,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “you...you don't understand what you're doing right now!”

“don't i?” her tone is light but her eyes are searching yours. lucy steps even closer, the faintest smile tugging at her lips. “you're blushing,”

“i'm not-” you take a step back, bumping into the wall behind you. “i'm not…blushing!”

“you totally are. is it the harness?” she pauses, her voice dropping just slightly. “or is it…me?”

your breath catches in your throat. for a moment, you can't think. you can't move. the tension in the air suddenly feels electric, heavy with the weight of everything you haven't said and everything she might not even realize she's doing.

“lucy…” you manage. “you should- uh- you should probably take it off now, yeah?”

she only grins, clearly pleased with your reaction. “why? am i making you nervous?”

yes. absolutely. but you don't tell her that. instead, you stand frozen as lucy leans just a little closer, the leather harness shifting as she moves. the air between you is stifling now, charged with something you can’t quite name. she hasn’t moved back. if anything, she’s standing closer, the faintest grin on her lips, her eyes locked on yours.

“lucy,” you say again, but her name catches in your throat, sounding more like a ragged plea than a warning.

“yeah?” she asks, her voice teasingly playful.

you glance down at the harness, that stupid harness, and then back at her, hoping she’ll take the hint. lucy doesn’t. instead, she shifts her weight again, the leather creaking softly. you swear she’s doing it on purpose now.

“why are you…” you trail off, biting your lip. “why are you doing this?”

her smile falters slightly. “i don’t know,” she admits. “i guess i just…like seeing you like this,”

your breath hitches. “like what?”

lucy tilts her head, her eyes searching yours. she pauses. then, her gaze flickers to your mouth and heat floods your face. you try to think of something -anything- to say, but the words won’t come.

“do you want this?” she asks, voice barely above a whisper now.

you nod your head slowly, your throat feeling too tight to speak.

her smile softens, and she takes another step forward, close enough now that you can feel the warmth of her body through the faint chill of the room. “good,”

and then she kisses you.

the shelves behind you clatter as your body is forced back against them by lucy’s own, trapping you against the metal.

it surprises you how fast her mouth is moving. how desperate and hungry. in all the times (more than you’d ever openly admit) you pictured yourself kissing her, she’d been the careful one. you should’ve known better than that. way better.

now, she is all over you, eager hands cupping your cheeks as she presses you against the cold surface. your whole body shivers as lucy licks into your mouth experimentally, humming when you gasp in response.

“for the record,” she mumbles against your mouth, barely breaking away from you enough to get those words out. “you want to have sex with me?”

you almost laugh at the absurdity of the question, would lucy not force one of her thighs between yours, keeping you on the tip of your toes with a strangled gasp. it doesn’t occur to you to question where she knows all this from. instead, you just nod, panting as she pushes her knee further up.

pleased with all those reactions she’s getting from you, lucy hums. “and you want me to use…that?” she nods towards the now unsealed box at your feet.

“uh huh,” is all you can manage. it seems enough for lucy, who flashes an excited smile before walking over to pick it up from the floor. for the first time, you dare to breathe.

she fumbles with the box momentarily, struggling to free the toy from its plastic packaging in her excitement. before you can offer your help, she has figured it out and carelessly tosses the container aside, leaving only the dildo in her hand.

“hm,” lucy hums, taking it in from all angles under the dim light.

“this goes through the…” you start breathlessly, nodding toward the ring that sits right above her still fully clothed pubic bone.

it’s not often that you find yourself longing for a life a little more like lucy’s. this is one of those rare moments though. the things you’d do to have her in an actual bed, in a place that belongs to just the two of you. somewhere where you can actually take your time to undress her, see her fully, and not just rushed glimpses in the barely lit space around you.

“okey dokey,” she fumbles with the toy, experimentally tracing the buckles and straps before pushing the dildo through its designated hole.

then, it’s just you, her, and the shuddered breath you exhale into the small space left between you when lucy steps closer again.

you briefly wonder if it would overwhelm lucy if you’d go down on your knees before her right then and there. if you’d force her down your throat and show her just how much of her you’re willing to take. but then you turn to look back at her and decide that this is not the time.

lucy is watching you attentively, her eyes darting between yours and the strap attached to her body. there seems a newfound sense of pride in the way she carries herself as you feel her press against your inner thigh. it draws a gasp from you, an expression on your face that lucy instantly mirrors: mouth agape, eyes slightly widened.

it is your hushed, shaky “lucy, please” that sets her into motion.

her fingers, once resting on your hips, jump into action before you know it; roaming all over your body. into your hair, over smudged, dirty clothes, underneath them…her nails briefly scrape the expanse of your stomach, the fabric of your shirt riding up your torso, and lucy seems satisfied with the way you exhale into her open mouth. then, she drops them lower.

it doesn’t take her long to unbuckle your belt and pull it free from your pants. the setting doesn’t allow any slower, more sensual undressing. instead, you push your pants down your legs until they’re polling around your ankles and you can easily step out of them, leaving you exposed from the waist down except for your underwear -which is doing a terrible job in covering the arousal there.

you’ve been wet from the moment you started fantasizing about her, and your little make out session has only made matters worse. lucy, who’s pushing her fingers past the waistline of your underwear, notices too when she’s met with your wetness once they slide through you.

“fuck-“ you mutter, your head falling back.

lucy studies you attentively once her fingers find your clit, rubbing it in clockwise circles underneath the fabric until your thighs are trembling and instinctively closing around her wrist.

“sit,” she orders, jerking her chin towards the shelf pressed against the back of your thighs.

stunned into silence, you hop onto the cool metal, your legs spread enough for lucy to stand between them. her palms stroke along your thighs as she bites her lip, now able to see the wet patch your arousal has left in the fabric of your underwear.

“can you take it?” she whispers, immediately earning herself an eager nod from you.

lucy pulls you forward until you’re sitting on the edge, then forces your legs apart further with a sudden motion. only once she’s reached out and pushed your underwear aside, does it seem to occur to her that she’s never been on this side of things before.

nervously, she glances up at you. “i’ve never-“ lucy begins, gesturing downward.

“that’s okay!” you interject instantly. at this point, you don’t care what she does, as long as she does it inside of you.

“okay,” she echoes, before focusing on the matter at hand.

absentmindedly, though it sends another wave of arousal down to your center, lucy uses what’s left of your wetness on her fingers to coat her length in it. you watch breathlessly as she pumps her fist along the silicone shaft until it's glistening with the makeshift lube.

immediately, you wrap your legs around lucy, closing your ankles behind her and urging her closer. she complies gladly.

her eyes flicker up to your face when she lines herself up and moves forward. your fingers reach around lucy’s back, desperately grasping for something to hold onto as her cock sinks into you inch by inch. her nose nuzzles against the side of your neck as she fills you up slowly, her breath warm against your skin, until she’s pushed it in as far as it’ll go and your bodies are nestled flush together.

“good?” lucy whispers, slowly pulling back just enough to look up at you.

“mhm” you hum, struggling to keep your eyes from rolling to the back of your head.

her hands fall to your waist again, squeezing you gently as her eyes remain fixed on where she has pushed into your body, where the toy is pressed against your walls just right.

“can i move?” lucy husks, looking like she’s barely containing herself from doing so.

for a moment you wish that her impatience was actually justified. not that it isn’t already, you are dying to see her in a similar position, but you wish she could feel you too: all around her, taking it greedily, sucking her in deeper.

once again, you nod.

pressing your palm between her shoulder blades is about all the bracing you get to do before lucy starts to move. she pulls her hips back slowly as if she’s testing the waters, before slamming into you faster and deeper than expected.

“o-oh!” you gasp, your mouth falling open over lucy’s shoulder. the relief of finally feeling her against your g-spot is immediate and has you seeing stars behind your closed eyelids.

you arch your back against her, involuntarily searching for more as lucy starts thrusting into you more confidently. you meet each of her thrusts, gently lifting your hips from the shelf to rock back onto her strap. like this, she’s fucking you properly in no time, falling into an easy rhythm.

the sound of your skin slapping together echoes through the otherwise abandoned store, accompanied only by your occasional ragged moans. you don’t bother to hold back anymore, not when you’ve spent half of your travels fantasizing about her like this.

it only vaguely registers that lucy’s mouth is pressing against the side of your neck, sucking on the soft skin there as she keeps fucking the strap into you. she’s reaching depths you could never quite find with only your fingers during your rare attempts to find some sort of relief, depths that have you trembling already.

“lucy please!” you cry, unsure what you’re even asking for as one hand holds onto the back of her neck whereas the other grips the edge of the shelf for dear life. “please,”

“does that feel good?” she asks, her voice genuine and amazed despite her relentless pounding.

“mhm, so good!” you nod. your legs are shaking around lucy, trembling more with each thrust that makes you gush around the strap.

the longer lucy moves like this, the more confident she gets in her own movements. despite the occasional grunts of exhaustion, she does not let up. it doesn’t take her long to find the perfect angle either, your cunt throbbing once you feel her right where you need it the most.

too eager for your own release to feel embarrassed, you drop your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at a pace that matches the one lucy has set.

the space around you smells of sex and her hands are carefully holding your legs apart, keeping you open for her. the shelves creak under the force of her pace, slamming against the wall so loudly you will have to check if the noise has attracted any unwanted attention once she’s done with you.

for now, all you can focus on is the pleasure in your system, which only intensifies when lucy starts talking: “god” she groans, eyes narrowed down on your body to watch the way you take the full length of her strap over and over again.

she pulls out almost all the way once, the motion agonizingly slow so she can see the way you part for her as the silicone slides from your body. the toy is glistening with your wetness in the barely lit room.

“fuck-” she grunts, before snapping forward and sinking back into. there’s sweat collecting at her temple from the efforts of her constant rolls of her hips. “are you close? tell me!”

your weak whine seems to sound agreeable enough for lucy to double her efforts. not once does she falter, her hips thrusting forward effortlessly and desperate cries of her name are all you can manage. they're your only prayer as she gets you closer and closer to the edge.

“that’s it,” she praises absentmindedly, her eyes glued to what she can see past the fabric of your underwear and the frantic movement of your wrist as you rub yourself to the rhythm of her thrusts. “that’s it!”

lucy seems almost as eager to make you cum as you are yourself, panting: “are you gonna cum?” as though she can hardly believe that she’s the one to get you there.

“oh my god, are you gonna cum on my- on my cock?” the distant realization dawns upon you that she doesn’t even know the proper words, but the way she’s put it -albeit clumsy and unsure- works. it is what you ultimately need to be pushed over that edge.

a breathless “oh my god!” is the only response lucy gets before your orgasm rips through you. with a prolonged moan, you slam your head back, only vaguely aware of the dull pain as your body convulses around her strap.

your hips are still rutting back and forth uselessly, grinding against your hand as she stills inside of you. when the pleasure finally subsides, your body goes slack and you fall against lucy with her strap still buried inside you.

her arms wrap around you soothingly, pressing you as close to her chest as the current position allows. you stay like this for a while, just enough for you to catch your breath and ground yourself. the stillness of the night settles back into the store as the two of you adjust in the dim light. she pulls back gently and you pull your jacket tight, brushing stray bits of dust from the sleeves, while lucy fumbles with her gear.

the wind that blows through the creaks in the wall seems louder now, as the silence between you stretches on. finally, lucy dares to speak. “well,” she begins. “this has officially been my favorite pit stop so far!”

you can’t help but laugh, your cheeks heating up all over again as you carefully reach down to push your underwear back into place.

“and these?” she jerks her thumb down to the strap that’s still fastened to her body. “these are definitely coming with us!”

you freeze mid-motion, “lucy, you can’t just carry that around like it’s-“

“like it’s what? a perfectly good survival tool?” she interrupts. “come on, think about it! it’s sturdy, lightweight, multipurpose and-”

“multipurpose?” you cut in, raising a brow.

she shrugs, unbothered. “sure. you never know when you might need something to hold up supplies!”

your lips part to protest, but no words come out. instead, you watch as she unbuckles the harness. this whole situation is ridiculous. it’s so lucy. you feel warmth spreading through your chest at the sight.

she glances over at you, her head tilted when she catches you staring. “are you alright?”

you nod quickly, forcing yourself to look away before your face betrays you again. “yeah,” you swallow audibly. “yeah, i’m good!”

but you’re not. not really. because she kissed you. she kissed you, and then she fucked you, too. and now, instead of brushing it off like another one of her impulsive experiments, she’s acting like it’s the most natural thing in the world. like it’s you that’s natural to her.

“alright,” she says, her voice pulling you from your thoughts. “let’s set up camp for the night. i’ll try to get some actual sleep this time!”

you nod again, following her toward the back of the store where the shadows are deepest. as you lay out your bedroll, you glance at her from the corner of your eye. she’s humming under her breath as she secures her pack.

this wasn’t just a one-time thing, you realize as she packs up both the harness and its counterpart. it wasn’t just a kiss or a moment or something you won’t speak about in the morning, otherwise she would not be keeping this.

it was lucy, and it was you.

and whatever comes next on your travels, you know there’s no going back from this.

— a/n: my first lucy fic!! you can thank @lottiesgrl for this, they helped me turn my silly little idea into…something!!

[red-doll-face]

Snow Angel 10

Chapter 10: adamant Series Masterlist

low - medium honor Arthur Morgan x fem. Reader

Arthur has been living by himself, laying low (for real this time) somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. After the whole Pinkerton and Micah debacle, he has been hiding away, waiting for it all to blow over, occasionally getting letters from the people who still know that he’s alive. He’s been alone awhile and at first, he thought he could handle a little loneliness. He has been wrong before. Lucky for him, you look like the perfect thing to break up the monotony.

Warnings: depictions of a panic attack. PLEASE AVOID if that would end up harming you i beg !!! dubious consent, arthur’s mental health is kind of not so good…VERY low honor Arthur, darkish fic, a bit of naive reader. Reader has dated and period typical ideals, not very good ideas about men and marriage… if you want reader to be strong and a fighter… this is not for you sorry. suggestive themes. I am being serious when I say that arthur is bad at handling this situation. he does not think he has done anything wrong. if youve been reading so far you know that that is BAD. please do not read if you can't handle it, im putting a giant RED FLAG on this WC: 4753 SNOW ANGEL DROP TN??? everybody say thank you to @emerald-ranch CHAPTER 10 !!! we did it !! it took me a while to churn this out and get it to a place that i liked. im still not even sure i like it LMAO thank you for all of the lovely little niche questions i get about my strange snow angel arthur, he is everything to me and i love to speak him into existence. first time writing angst soooo Tags: lots of angst todayyy, no TB, weird but not that toxic relationship, Arthur being a menace.Arthur being rude as always just… low honor arthur as a warning lol You and Arthur clear the air.

“Caught me a little bunny, pretty one too,” you can feel his excitement behind the fabric of his pants, his belt digging into you uncomfortably. Arthur’s features, although covered in shadows from the dusk drawing in, still reflect his anticipation. He takes his hat off, his hand drags his hair back, damp with sweat, darker than the usual lighter brown. Some of it still flops over into his face anyway. 

Your hands push at his shoulders weakly, whining as he dips down to kiss you, the warmth of his breath fanning over the roundness of your cheek, you can feel the scrape of his stubbly hair on your face, the dimple at the tip of his nose brush over you. 

“Arthur, please, I just- I wanna go home, you won, you got me,” he hums, running his tongue over your neck, his arms prop his body up over yours, keeping you warm in the cold chill. He covers you well enough, shields you from the winter with his frame, wide and heavyset. You can feel the rumble in him when he says ‘you’re damn right, I did,’.

The sky is a pretty shade of purple, a little like lavender. You look up, feeling his body tilt to one side, held up on his elbow, his other takes the opportunity to roam over your body. “We can go to our home, Arthur,” you try to pull at his desires, but he won’t have any of it. 

“Wanna see my prize first,” he says between puffs of air, his tongue pacing over the delicate skin of your neck. His hands tug your skirt upwards while you try and keep your legs closed. His hands grip the fat of your thigh, dipping under the dainty fabric of your stocking. Between his legs is the rather stiff press of him and his arousal. You don’t like how easy it is for your body to respond to just the notion of him taking you like this, like an animal.

His rough fingertips skim over the mark he left on you, the one your mother saw. 

“All you had to do was say you liked it. I know you did. You like everything I do,”

“I-No, I…I couldn’t-” You couldn't make it stop. Couldn't make your body stop reacting to him is what you want to say. But to say so would admit that some part of you liked what he did. You snap your mouth shut like a coin purse. You can’t bring yourself to say such a thing. Not that his ideas deserve to be validated. He gives you a knowing look which sends a tremor down your spine, your legs shifting nervously. 

“Quit your lying’, girl, you ain’t fooled me yet. Shouldn’t be ashamed, sugar; I might be a bastard but I ain’t the worst thing coulda happened to ya,”

“I’m not trying to…I told her not to say anything,” you whine and push again at his shoulders but he doesn’t budge. 

“Mhm, how come I don’t believe that for a second,”

Either way, he drops his mouth to your neck, sucks another painful mark just under your ear, the sensitive skin tingles with sensation, pulling pain from your nerves. You tilt your face away, you can’t get him to stop. You can hear the wetness of his tongue moistening your skin before he's sucking a deep red mark, which will be another bruise on your skin. You pull at his hair, but you’re held down just as easily while he nips away.

Your back arches, your skin tingles. A lewd whimper is all you have to offer, keening for him. The quiver inside you isn’t mindful at all. Pure reaction, pleasure rising to the surface. 

 He gives you more than one this time, leaving them at his leisure. He's ripping your blouse open next, so he can leave more on your breasts. The soft flesh is alight with nerves, rippling desire through you. 

“Think you’re starting to like it, angel,” you still your body, disconnected from its actions, which until then was moaning, clutching his shoulder for dear life. The tide of your emotions rises higher though, ice cold water crashing down on the pleasant warmth gathering on your lower belly.

Like you’ve stepped in front of a wagon train, the panic sets in, more than any other time before now. A shameful part of you; an awful desire that burns for Arthur somewhere inside of you, wants him to keep going. To make good on all of his promises. But it’s too difficult to indulge that part of you. The shock of what happened in your family’s home is too much. It drops on your head like an anvil or a blacksmith's hammer. You’re entirely too aware of how your father’s blood dripped over his own fingers. Your mother crumpled to the ground as she watched Arthur take you away. 

“I don’t-don’t want to do this right now, please,” It’s maybe the first time you cry at his insistence. And the first time you’ve been utterly clear about what you do and don’t want. In the most explicit terms possible. You feel the tears well up in your eyes. You cried like this when he first told you what he wanted. They drip down the sides of your face. You hadn’t been able to stop him on the first night. And after he made you all too aware of how things work between a man and a woman, you hadn’t tried to, overwhelmed with how good he was at dragging pleasure out of you. But now, it’s like the world has come closing in and there’s nothing that can stop it from swallowing you whole. Not after what he did, simply because your father thought to stop him from taking his only daughter away. 

Your breathing comes far too quick. Your head feels like it's full of air and it begins to hurt. The cold stings your finger tips. You have no regard as to what your face looks like, letting it bunch up in what is probably an unsightly expression of your reactive sobbing.

“Hey, hey, I-” He’s no longer using that husky tone with which he usually addresses you when he gets like this. It’s trying to be soothing but a certain panic underlines his words. You can see him take his hands off of you, as if he’s burning you with every touch. But he still keeps you underneath some of his weight, his mouth opens as if to say something else, furrowed brows 

“Get off…Get off me,” you push at his shoulders and at first he doesn't move an inch. When you don’t immediately feel his weight move from pinning you down, your sobbing becomes volatile. Struggling to breath through your tears and your desperate wails, you inhale faster but it still feels like it's not enough. Thrashing mindlessly at him, uncaring of his anger or his punishments, is what makes him ease off of you a little. 

“Woah, easy,” he tugs your skirt down, shielding you from the cold as much as he can without touching you but you can’t stop yourself from being consumed by the physical reaction your shock evokes from you, wrenched from you. Like a child and their toys infected with scarlet fever. 

His soothing does work a little, now that you know he’s stopping, that he’s covered your legs. You sniff and writhe, your fingers grip at his upper arms. You can finally blink through your tears to see his expression, worry clouded with something you’ve never quite seen. The pull of his mouth tugs towards a guilt he’s never shown you before. 

You’re starting to breathe way too much, all of the air makes you dizzy and the cold still burns your lungs but you don’t care, letting the pain ground you. Your arms wrap around yourself to cover your breasts, trying to fix your ruined shirt to no avail. The frustrated fumbling of your fingers has Arthur softening more, but his voice still intonates with his natural authority.

“Sweetheart, you need to slow down. Jus’ breathe, you’ll be alright,” his commanding voice controls you more than you thought it would. He sits back on his haunches, hoping the distance might do you some good, crowding you isn’t in his best interest. You gasp for air, sitting up a little with the space he’s afforded you.

Arthur comes closer to calm you when he notices you can’t seem to do it all on your own. He’s slow, shushing you, his hand pets your hair, down behind your ear, to the side of your neck. He keeps his eyes low, the warmth of his hand helps you a little, so does his own rhythmic breathing, slow and steady.

He doesn’t say much for a minute or two, a ‘that’s my girl,’ tingles your ear, warms you up. You sigh, trying to regulate your breathing, appreciating his help but still feeling frightened and confused. Especially when you consider that he is the source of all your troubles. Arthur is close enough so you feel body heat, his fingers brush your tears away. Sweet in this gentle moment. How could you stand to take comfort from a man who shot your father? Who could have missed, who could have killed him? As always, you doubt that you’re right in the head. Something must be broken within you.

It’s hardwired though. Arthur is all you have left now. The only one here with you.

He doesn’t seem excited in the same way he was before. The adrenaline from his chase dies in your blood, leaving behind the residue of stress, a headache forming. The pace of your heart does slow down now, the puff of the air in your lungs. He watches you with an odd expression. Glad that you’ve calmed down but still disappointed. Perhaps with you, having ruined his plan of taking you, of spreading your legs in the snow, burying himself inside of you. If things hadn’t gone so wrong today, you might have let him.

The thought makes more shameful tears drip down your face. Despite any calm summoned from you, you still feel the curl of disgrace, laying in your tattered shirt underneath this man, shrinking away from his stare.

“What's wrong? Did I hurt you?” You can at least appreciate that he is worried about you, even if he has no clue why. You can see a fear in his eyes that he tries to hide from you, a fear that he’s caused you real pain. At least you know now that if you had done more screaming and crying, he might have stopped that day. You didn't think him to be so thick as to not understand why you are as emotional in this moment as you are. 

“Arthur, no, no, I just- I don’t want- I want to go home…now,” You had wanted to come away from this moment, maybe just a bit touched at how he had helped you through your foolish hysterics. But as always, some part of Arthur balances it out. 

“Just tell me why you was cryin��. I know that ain’t all of it,” He narrows his eyes. Your jaw drops, unable to hide your outrage. Your anger, which you keep in check most of the time, pushes at the lid of the pot you stuff it in. Every single grain of it threatens to spill out. Your fingers scrunch, your face does too. 

“Shooting my father and then hunting me like an animal; pushing me in the dirt for- for your desires- that’s not enough?” You realize now that dusk is here and it’s colder in this dark valley than it was before. You move to stand, he’s upright before you and he does try to help but you refuse him. Unfortunately, your anger hasn’t been honed into a point sharp enough to cut. It’s only wet and girlish, it makes you cry and tremble, your throat thickens unpleasantly.

“You did what you wanted with me, like you always do. But my family… I never wanted-” You wobble onto your feet, closing his coat in front of your chest. You should never have indulged him. You should have bitten and chewed and snarled and spat until he left you alone. 

You aren't sure why you didn't. You suppose it felt nice to have a man notice you, to call you pretty. To want you in some way other than to just ignore or to leer at disgustingly like the lonely trappers at the trading post, even when they were friends of your father. How pathetic of you. 

Yet, nothing about what he did felt disgusting. It was the expectation on you as a woman to reserve these affections for marriage that lashed against the inside of your ribcage. That whispered that it was wrong; it was anything but the pure and gentle lessons you received as a girl. Opening your legs so willingly for a man because he called you pretty, called you all sorts of saccharine praises, was tearing away at you. You hadn't fought him harder and at first you thought it was because there was no point, that he was too strong anyway so why waste the energy? But now, you aren't so sure of that resolve. 

He was handsome in his own way and he didn’t seem like all the boys your mother told you to keep an eye on in case you should marry one day. Lanky and thin, sparse hairs on their chins which they stroked like great beards. He wasn’t a drunken fool or witless boy.

Arthur was a man. He acted like one, he smelled like one, looked like one. He wasn’t afraid to muck stalls, to cook. And he acted like you were married already, like you loved him and he loved you. Perhaps you liked the idea of having a man such as him, a man who didn’t need you to replace his mother’s duties, a man who wanted you to simply be with him. And those glittering moments where you played house with him, sat on his lap and let him kiss you. You could have stayed with him there forever, buried in the snow. You would have been happy if spring’s thaw never came. But now, he stands, with an almost resentful look at your accusatory tone.

Everything has dissolved into a coagulated mess, like spoiled milk. 

“I do what I want with you? The hell does that mean?” He’s more upset now, at the insinuating circumstances. 

“Arthur,” you recoil at the anger in his voice. You don’t even know what you meant particularly but Arthur fishes a meaning out from your words, even if you hadn’t put too much stock into your own words. 

“You’re sayin’ that I violated you, is that it?” his hands rest on his hips as he moves to keep staring you in the eye, you’ve never seen him like this before. Really angry. 

“I didn’t ask to do that with you, I told you to…” It’s like he can sense how noncommittal you are with your own sentiments. Your own certainty doesn't linger with you. As much as you would like it too. He sniffs it out like a bloodhound, throwing the truth in your face. 

“You know what I think? I think- fact, I know. You’re one of those gently reared girls, think they’re better than this, above any of this low down ruttin’ us sinners do. You can’t even say it, can you? All that we got up to. That’s called fuckin’ , sweetheart,” The word curls into his vicious smile. You’re scandalized, can feel how your hands pull his coat even tighter. You don’t think you’ve heard anyone talk like that to you. It’s a dirty word but you suppose that is what it felt like to be with him. Dirty. But that rush, you can’t deny that. The one that shoots up your spine when you remember how it made you feel. 

 “Can’t say you ain’t like it, can’t say you did; and I get it. Ain’t the first time I met a girl like you. But you can’t lie to me,” 

You ignore the hind-brain jealousy that pokes your mind. His words are truer than you want them to be. You said stop once or twice, although you can’t recall too well about things you said. Instead, you told him you belonged to him. You had meant to endear yourself to him. It worked far more than you wanted it to. 

Pretending like you didn’t want him to do what he did protected your own self important image as your father and mother preferred you, not how things really were. And now that you don’t have them anymore, what use was that image? You try to cling to the truth of your old life, crumbling to pieces around you. 

“It’s not just about that. I…I didn’t say yes…I thought you would hurt me, you told me you didn’t want me to fuss. When you told me I had to stay…” you stun him, he seems like he hardly remembers doing that. In that low voice, his startling command. It scared you to the bone then, but it did shake something awake. You had never felt so wanted in your life as that day. Both of you are some type of wrong, you think. Maybe he recognized the same kind of wrong in you.

Carefully, he mulls over what you said. It affects him, you can see how that same guilt settles in the creases of his face. It roots around his eyes, the harsh lines soften. How his boots scuff against the ground. One of his hands scratches at his beard. But all too soon, it’s gone and a resolve hardens on his face, like he’s dashed the guilt away. Made room for something else. 

“Am I just supposed to believe you was lyin’ when you said you liked it? I don’t make you talk, darlin’. You might be pretty as a doll,” He looks over your features, over your hair and your pouting lip. “But you ain’t no string puppet. Wouldn’t hurt you, honey, not like that, not how you’re meanin’. It’d do you some good to remember that ain’t true ‘bout most anybody else,” He lets his body naturally intimidate yours, looking down his nose at you.

You don’t know how he can have such a prideful stare. Like he knows he’s right. He pushes the memory of your father, kneeling and gripping his wound to the front of your mind. 

“You didn’t have to shoot him. Heaven forbid my father from trying to protect me from you. Wouldn’t be the first time a father tried to keep his daughter from marrying you. Arthur, why exactly is it your first instinct to go waving a gun around when something goes wrong? I don’t understand what drives someone to do the things you do,” He chuckles darkly, as if you told a morose joke at a funeral. He does let a quiet frustration come over him, a glare gets leveled at you. But he holds himself tightly in his own restraint. Your retaliation against him; he treats it as a minor slight. You cross your arms while he brushes it off. All too good at letting insults slide off his back.

“That makes the two of us. I ain’t been a good man most my life and I ain’t sure I’ll ever be any good at it. I try to be good to you, I do, but maybe it ain’t enough. That’s just fine with me,” He steps closer to you, sensing your shock at his words. He’s back to that prowling wolf from before. His demeanor changes on a dime. He bends at the waist to grab his gloves and hat, dusting the bottom of the brim casually against his coat before placing it back on his head. His gloves are shoved haphazardly in his pocket. “I don’t know if I need that from you, some fairytale love story, where your Pa hands you over to me and I bring you up to the altar dressed like a government boy,” You’re almost afraid of him, how he carries himself. There's a dread hanging in the air around him, a foreboding poke in the back of your head. 

“Used to be an outlaw, around New Austin, Heartlands, all over…” you look at the cold look in his eyes. Colder than the snow that dusts the ground. Frozen stiff like a corpse, but you tremble anyway. He shifts his legs, widening his stance and placing one hand on his belt, next to the shiny revolver. “I’ve killed people, robbed them, or both…done things I wasn’t always proud of. I ain’t too proud of what I done with you neither. Tellin’ you that is…just about as good as bein’ married. Can’t let ya go wanderin’ off knowin’ the truth, now,” Arthur raises his arms in something like a shrug. The nonchalant air about him has that wet anger rising in your throat again.

“You ain’t goin’ back home. Least the home you had. Me puttin’ a bullet in your Pa don’t change that. I’d advise you to make your peace with the fact. I keep havin’ to tell you. I hate repeatin’ myself,” You continue to stare, eyes wide with the realization of his truth. An outlaw. You must be the most unfortunate girl in the state. To walk into the home of a killer. Your thoughts trail back to how he disposed of the body of the man who had tried to rob you. The cold and careless manner of dealing with death was telling then. It screams at you now.

“I-I’m not some belonging for you to collect, for you to hang on your wall. To put up on top of your fireplace, Arthur,”

“No, you’re much more than that,” You aren’t completely sure of his meaning. But it’s something that entails you being with him how he wills it. No better than being chained to his bed, really. He nears you and you do take a wary step backward, a little afraid of the neutrality on his features. He schools his reactions, tells you of his past with no remorse. 

“If you care for me, care for me at all, wouldn’t you- wouldn't you let me go?” you ask but you know his answer, when he finally closes in on you, drags one finger down the curve, the roundness of your cheek. His thumb rests on your lips, his other fingers curl around to almost the nape of your neck. His hand makes you feel entirely too small in his hold. Guides you to look up at him, as your fingers clutch the fur of his coat tightly around you. 

“See, that’s the problem right there,” he has a strange twist to his voice, a light lilt while he smirks down at you, the darkness dipping the shadows across his face into an even darker tone. “I care about you too much. Maybe it ain’t right, can’t say I give a damn either way,” the fragility of this moment isn’t broken until he puts a kiss on your lips that’s a thousand times lighter than the precarious air of this conversation. But you should have known being so restrained isn’t permanent with Arthur. 

A strong hand closes on your hip, drags you into the front of him. His breath quickens, it flatters you how much he likes you so near to him. Your hip aches pleasantly as he squeezes it. Your heart swells, you wish you could will yourself into rejecting him.

“Tell me you don’t want me, honey. Tell me to leave you alone…” You’re stiff as an iron rod when he pulls you to him. You brace yourself on him, hands compelled naturally to lay flat on his chest. Something about the full form of his body is so pleasing to you, the breadth of him against you. The warmth you feel and the strength lying in wait. The smell of him, leather and hide, tobacco and mint. It closes you in. You open your mouth to say something. Anything. 

“Arthur, that’s not fair,” you whine. Your anger might have caused you to lash out at him for once. But you’re back to the docile thing he liked to chase around, too occupied with his body so close to yours to realize that you’ve dropped all pretense of that strong front, that you haven’t answered his question. You wish you could continue being the kind of person who could tell someone like Arthur what he's asking. Strong willed, not so swayed. But you’re moved in the opposite direction by whatever is inside of you, some deep buried want of yours. And the constant tone of knowing that he’s bigger and stronger than you. It’s always there, rain pattering on the roof in autumn. He had no trouble chasing after you like this, in the encroaching dusk. It was more a game than any real challenge.

“Just say it, you keep tryin’ to, don’t ya?” you look away. Why can’t you say it? When he’s inviting you to rebuff him. You look up at him. A knot gets tangled in your insides. Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth. What is wrong with you?

“You can’t cause you don’t mean it, not when this little pussy gets wet when I touch you, when you kiss me back. You don’t remember when you was touchin’ all over me? Those kisses you put on me?” he teases you, a more smug exhale is what you get. The night weighs on your shoulders like a heavy blanket and so does his reality check. He has a sigh and a faint groan, as if thinking of all that you’ve done with him in the privacy of his home. 

You think to defy him, to spite his words but you can’t when he gives you another kiss. The dryness he licks away. This one is a wet sloppy mess, it doesn’t last long but he’s as right as he knew he was, you melt into it, grab onto him, tilt so he can kiss you deeper. His teeth nip at your soft lips, his tongue rubs over yours. A warm shame fills your belly and crawls up your face. You can’t bring yourself to hate his stupid smug lovesick look, the way he rubs the scar on his chin as he pulls away.

“You like me, don’t you, sweetheart?” He’s mocking you now, he knows the answer just as well as you do but he likes to feel like he’s wrenching it out of you. He’s caught you and he’s holding you up by the ears while you dangle uselessly; a rabbit caught in the hunt. You stare up at him, caught in his pretty blue eyes, the little nicked scar on his nose bridge. You have a very reluctant almost imperceptible nod. Despite the raging heat in you at such an admittance. You like the man who locked you in his home, who wants you to marry him while hardly knowing him, who used to be an outlaw. 

“Even after I shot your daddy? You’re somethin’ else, girl,” he revels in your reaction but with his own version of pity, an endeared expression at your warbling chin and heavy sniff.

A bad feeling curdles in your belly, you bite your lip. You shouldn’t do this. How could you ever do this to your family? Turn your back on them like this? But you didn’t see another choice. Tears bead on your lash line. He has to rub his inevitable victory in your face. You don’t know how you’re going to continue. How you can even stand the sight of Arthur: of yourself. Now that he’s twisted everything out of shape to suit his needs. You should spit on him. Curse him until he gets struck down by the powers that be. 

But you don’t. You aren't sure there’s any end to that. You hope to never repeat this cycle again. Where you try to pull against his control and he overpowers, strong-arming you into doing as he pleases. He gathers your tears, brushes them away. Rough calluses over the little sensory hairs on your skin. 

“C’mon, sweet thing, it’s time you get what ya want, huh? Time to go home.” 

UGH this arthur gets on my fucking nerves but i am so weak for him i hate his corny ass. god dark arthur is just too much for me lmaooo feedback is more than appreciated, please let me know your thoughts im begging wahhhhh

[sylver-star]

⭑.ᐟ

You unlock the door with your spare key, the one he had given you just for emergency. It struck you the wrong way to come to his apartment unannounced at first, but you had your reasons. Loneliness should count as an emergency, right? The door clicks open and you walk in, immediately you're hit with a luxurious smell of something floral that you can't quite place - but it's refreshing nevertheless.

After putting your shoes away on the welcome mat, you finally put your feet on the shiny wooden floors. You can't help but to compare his apartment to yours, which hasn't been this clean since you first got it.

"Minghao?" you call out, but not loud enough so as to accidentally wake him if he happens to be asleep.

There's no answer, so you shrug off your coat and hang it beside his. You carefully smooth out your skirt and look at yourself in the mirror. He might not be home. It wouldn't be strange if he wasn't, he was probably out at a fancy bar somewhere with some important client. Your brain kind of turns off when he starts talking about his work, and you think he's started to notice from the way that he always pauses and smiles before asking about your day. It's not that you don't care, you want to see him happy and well off, but at times the way that he talks about his work just sounds like the grown-ups in the Peanuts cartoons.

You walk into the kitchen, which is just as clean as the rest of the house. Except, there's a pot soaking in the sink. It's been there for long enough to not be able to guess what's been in there. You roll up your sleeves and start washing up. It should feel weird to do his dishes, but you can't help but to feel a little giddy. It feels so domestic. Coming home from a long days work, making dinner for each other while the other one does the dishes. He hasn't actually made dinner for you, but you let yourself daydream.

You shift to stand on one leg, letting the other foot lightly kick up before balancing it on your toe - a flustered tick. With the hot water running, and the scrubbing sounding out loud, you don't hear the soft footsteps coming up behind you. It's only when you feel Minghao's arms wrap around you that you realize that he's there.

"Are you doing my dishes, honey?" he asks in a gentle yet teasing tone.

"You're home!" You turn your chin to look at him over his shoulder.

From what you can see, he has his glasses on and his hair's a mess. It's not what you were expecting, but the look is greatly appreciated. You lean into his warmth, and his arms squeeze your waist.

"This is my apartment," he says.

"I thought you were out on business..." You sigh and turn off the sink to lean further into him. "Are you always this warm?"

He chuckles, and it vibrates through his chest. "You're just cold, honey."

Minghao grabs your hands in his, not caring that they're still wet. His hands are warm and soft, making you smile at the touch. He lets go of you with one hand, spinning you around slowly to face him with the other. You notice he's already in his pajamas. Both of his hands encapsulate yours again.

"I was going to take care of that in the morning." His gaze is focused on your hands as he tries to cover them with his.

"You ate at home tonight?"

"Well, you said you had other plans." He looks at you up and down with a fond look in his eyes. "It certainly looks like you had other plans. Hope you didn't skip them for me, pretty."

"I didn't. I went... I just wanted to see you. Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on your day off." You try to take your hands away but he won't let you.

"You didn't. I'm glad you're here." He pulls you in for a hug, and it's your turn to wrap your arms around his waist. "I wish you would've notified me... I'd give you the other half of my ramyun, you know?"

You let out a soft giggle, the way you only did when your walls are down - when you're with him. "Missed opportunity."

Minghao hums and presses a kiss to the side of your neck. It's chaste. Sweet. And you feel a wave of the domesticity you felt before. Your hands cling tighter to his shirt as he starts rubbing your back in slow circles.

"Come to bed with me?" he asks, as if there's any other answer than yes.

You hum and nod against his chest. While you want to stay like this forever, Minghao seems eager to go back to bed. He loosens his arms around you, bringing one hand to the small of your back to lead you to his bedroom. And it's all worth it when you're laying down in his bed, newly showered and in the comfy pajamas he bought for you, as his arms are wrapped around you once again. To think that your friends had made fun of you for wanting to leave the party early to go back to "your old man", when this is the most blissful you've been all day.

[sweetbillwriting]

Way Out of Line

THREE

Beneath my perfume and make-up I'm just a baby in disguise. And though I know that it's wrong to be alone with him that "come on look" is in my eyes.

Character: Keith Toshko from Barbarian (2022) played by Bill Skarsgård.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: This will not be everyone's cup of tea. And I'm a rookie haha.

I followed the movement of his soft lips, and instead of feeling the excited urgency, I felt my body become mush in his arms, and my sex pulsed in the same rhythm. I moaned into his mouth, and I could feel him smile.

“That's it, honey…” he whispered encouragingly between kisses, and it made me giggle. It was something about how he guided me that was both sexy but also domineering. It was overwhelming to kiss him, to be so close to him in a way I hadn't been with my ex-boyfriend, Tim. There was a feeling in my chest that slowly spread to my limbs and made me feel dirty in all sorts of ways, and after a while the negative feelings took over. This was not me. I wasn't the type of girl who kissed married men, especially a man much older than me. I had always been the boring girl, who didn’t push the rules. I released his lips with a smack, and he looked at me with big eyes. He must have noticed my change of emotions.

“I'm sorry,” he said, fast and pulled away. I looked down at the ground, but I could see his feet nervously move. “I should go…”

I didn't look up and didn't say anything because suddenly I felt so uncomfortable and shy about it all. I was not a sexual person, and he was old. He really was old. He could have had children my age. I heard him leave my room, and I breathed out in relief. It was not a good idea; still, I could feel a pain between my legs, like a frustrated cramp. The shame got even worse. It was filthy and heavy in my chest. He was my dad's friend; it wasn't okay.

It was hard to sleep after that moment with Keith, and the anxiety crept around in my body like hungry insects, especially because I could still feel the pressure between my legs. I ran to the bathroom every fifteen minutes in the belief that I needed to pee, but I didn't need that relief; I needed an intrusion. I had never really masturbated, but after having laid with my legs crossed without being able to release the pressure, I needed something more effective; I needed something inside me. I didn't have the knowledge to make myself come, but it was enough to be penetrated for me to finally be able to sleep, even if I felt dirty by my own sexual feelings. I didn't want to feel what I did, so I tried to deny them. They weren't real; they were not me, just something my brain created after a bit too much alcohol.

×××

I had a weird feeling in my body when I started to wake up, like a nagging feeling of forgotten anxiety, and even if I wanted to ignore it, I started to search in my brain for the answer. At first I couldn't remember it, but when I moved and realized my panties were off and I just laid in my tank top, I remembered how I had slipped a finger deep inside of me to be able to sleep. I remembered the passionate kisses with Keith that had made me so sexually frustrated I had humped my own hand. It all was so dirty and shameful, and I looked down at my hand, disgusted by how deep my fingers had been in me. I tried to tell myself it was a one-time thing and stood up from bed even if I didn't have panties on. I couldn't even see them, and for a second I imagined Keith had crept into my room and stolen them, but it was then I found them tangled in my cover. I put them on, just to have something on, on my way to the bathroom to take a shower. Just like Christianity had told me, I tried to wash my sins away; I tried to scrub away my dirty thoughts and massage away every shameful feeling. It did kind of work, and I decided that I would forget about it all and leave it all behind. I fooled myself into believing I could do that and got myself to forget Keith actually lived in the house.

It wasn't that easy to move on when the man in my dirty imaginations sat by the kitchen table, eating egg and bacon with my father. He was there, and as soon as I saw him, I forgot my thoughts were sinful and embraced them instead of denying them. I didn't care if I was dirty, I didn't care if he was my dad's friend or that he was older than me. I remembered the image of his bulge in his sweatpants and thought about how his cock looked hard. I wanted him inside of me instead of my short fingers.

“Hey, honey, come and sit down with us,” said my dad who patted the chair next to him. There was a setting for one more person, and it was probably for me because my mom most often ate earlier than me and my dad. My dad was dressed in a comfortable jogging set, but Keith was dressed in jeans and a black zip hoodie. His hair was styled back, and it could be so that he had plans to go out that day. We glanced at each other quickly, but both of us looked away, and I sat down next to my dad, who gave me a side hug and patted my cheek.

“Slept well?” He asked and started to put up eggs on my plate. He knew I didn't eat bacon. I looked away, uncomfortable with the question, but gave him a low, “yeah.”

“Do you have any plans for today?”

He didn't ask me about my New Year's celebration or if I had been drinking; for him, it was probably obvious I had been a good girl and that Mom exaggerated.

“Um, I think I’ll just have a movie marathon…”

My dad grimaced, and I looked at him confused.

“What?”

“I'm sorry honey, but Disney doesn't work at the moment…”

“What?” I asked with a whiny voice. My dad looked at me almost in shame and played with one of my long locks that fell forward over my light yellow robe.

“I know, I can't log in and—”

“You can use my account,” said Keith suddenly, and by reflex I looked at his handsome face even if I didn't want to. He licked his lips that were shiny with grease, and he gave me a fast look before looking down at his bacon again. “Is there something special you want to see?”

“She always starts the new year with hopeful movies, right, honey? So Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland?” My dad said with a smirk. I just nodded a little. Maybe my choice of movies also was childish and embarrassing, but Disney was such a natural part of my life I didn't think of it like that. I looked at Keith again. He had a stubbly top lip, and a strand of his hair didn't want to be a part of his slicked-back hairstyle and fell down in his eyes. He was too handsome to be a friend of my father's. He was way too handsome to want to kiss me. But he had.

“Thank you…” I mumbled and took the juice pitcher so I wouldn't need to look at him.

“We will go into town soon; Keith has a meeting, and I need to buy some things. Your mom is out with Felice, so you will be alone for a while. But I guess you can handle that? Now when you have Disney?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said and smiled at him. I could hear that I sounded like a ten-year-old, but we had that sort of relationship, so it was hard for me to stop. My dad always worried about me, and I was always eager to please him. Keith cleared his throat, but I didn't dare to look at him, and I wondered if he judged me for my polite behavior towards my father. He probably regretted that he had kissed someone like me, a silly girl.

×××

“You can fly!” Shouted the kids in Peter Pan while I sat stretched out on the couch with a bowl of ice cream in my lap. I still wore just pajamas even if it was 3 pm. I giggled a bit to myself when I thought about how many times I had pretended to be Lena, waiting for Peter Pan to come through my window. My biggest wish had been to never grow up. I had a nice time being alone and had no problems with it, so I was a bit disappointed when I heard the front door open.

“I'm so sorry, Keith, really. Do you want anything to eat or something?” Said my mom with worry. I turned down the sound in curiosity and tried to listen closely. It sounded like there were several feet in the hallway, and I could hear my dad clear his throat.

“No…” said Keith with a wobbly voice and sniffled. “I think I'm going to bed for a while… But thank you.”

It was obvious Keith was crying, and it made my throat dry up and start to scratch. There was something about hearing him like that that made me uncomfortable in so many ways, and I noticed how my hands were shaking too. I listened to him walking up the stairs slowly, but also my dad's deep exhalation after Keith had closed the bedroom door.

“Shit, Giselle… I really thought they would get together again,” said my father with a low voice, so low I almost didn't hear him. My mom's reply I actually couldn’t hear because she was whispering. I paused the movie and laid my hand on my chest. My heart was beating hard, and the dry feeling in my throat was now a painful barbed wire string from my heart up to my mouth. I understood what was happening, but I wanted to know more, so carefully I walked out to my parents in the hallway. My mom was hanging up Keith's bomber jacket while my dad was sitting down on the bench we had by the door. Both of them looked up at me when I tiptoed out to them.

“What's happening?” I asked, pretending like I hadn't heard as much as I had. My mom opened her mouth to say something, but my dad interrupted her.

“He got served with the divorce papers… So he is, of course, really upset.”

I nodded a little bit and looked down at the ground. I tried to keep my facial expressions in check because I was the only one of us three that knew Keith had been with another woman just the night before: me.

“Can you keep an eye on him?”

I heard what my dad said, but at first I couldn't understand the words and what he meant by them.

“Huh?” I looked at him confused and played with the thin bands of my tank top.

“We need to go grocery shopping. Can you take care of him?”

“Like how?” I asked, and I could feel my cheeks heat. My parents must have noticed, but they didn't understand why they became so rosy and must have made their own conclusions.

“Just check if he wants something if he comes out of the room. Nothing more than that.”

I nodded, and my dad gave me a thankful smile. They put on their outerwear again and left me alone with Keith. Their little girl and their old friend. They didn't have a thought, or even a half thought, that something could happen; that their little girl wasn't so innocent and the friend wasn't so trustworthy.

I continued to watch Peter Pan, but my thoughts drifted away to Keith over and over. I felt sorry for him and wondered if I should do something, but I was also afraid he would come down, and that I would need to comfort him. I thought about the night before, and in the light of day, I wasn't ashamed of it. I wasn't ashamed I had wanted him. Now I wasn't ashamed that he was married either because he would divorce, and the rest I could pretend were trivialities. I wanted him but I was scared of how much. I had never felt those sorts of feelings before, and it was frightening to feel how much I could lose myself in them.

“Hey…”

I turned to the doorway where Keith walked into the large room. His eyes were brimmed with red, but he wasn’t crying. He could have just been really tired, but I knew he wasn't, and the sniffle also exposed him.

“Hey…” I repeated and moved my legs and the blanket so that he could sit down on the other end of the couch. He sighed deeply and turned his gaze towards the TV. Something told me he just didn't want to be alone, so I didn't say anything, and just let him watch the ticking crocodile. I looked at him carefully a couple of times, and he smiled a little at the TV, and that made me smile too. After 20 minutes I dared to look at him completely, and he looked back at me and scratched his neck.

“Are you okay?” I asked carefully and sat up a bit better on the couch. Keith also sat up a little and took off his zip hoodie revealing the black t-shirt he wore underneath.

“Yeah… I knew this would happen. I just… It's a lot to take in, you know?”

I didn't know. How should I know? I had never been married, and my only relationship had ended when I was eighteen because Tim felt it became too serious, but I nodded anyway. Keith breathed heavily and dragged his hands over his thighs over and over. Something with his behavior made me feel braver, and I removed the blanket from my legs and scooted closer to him.

“Do you need a hug?”

Keith turned his eyes towards me, and for a moment we stared at each other intensely. As I sat next to him, I could see how he looked down over my body, especially my hardened nipples under my top. He looked up at me again and then moved my hair away so it fell behind my shoulders. He looked down at my chest again, this time more obviously. Just like the night before, a foreign feeling took over me that made me more confident and daring, so I pulled down one of the straps of my tank top slowly revealing one of my naked breasts for him to see. I looked him straight in the eyes while I did it and saw his eyes fall down to my chest when my nipple was exposed. Keith looked up at my eyes again and moved so he sat more towards me.

“You're such a beautiful girl…” His voice was low and raspy, and he laid his hand on my neck with his thumb on my jugular. I could feel the pressure between my legs grow again when he dragged his lips over mine sensually.

“My beautiful baby girl…” he whispered, putting some pressure over my neck. I moaned into his mouth when he kissed me and I laid my hands on his thick thighs. His hand moved down from my neck to my chest, and he released my lips to be able to look at his long fingers playing with my nipple.

“I've noticed your nipples are always so hard... Is it because you think so many dirty thoughts?” He looked up at me with a smirk and pinched my nipple hard. A pained groan left my lips, but the feeling also travelled down between my legs and made it hammer quickly. I didn't know what to say, so I let him kiss me again while my breast disappeared in his wide palm. His other hand held my head and steered me into every kiss. He used more and more tongue which made me feel that overwhelming feeling again. I was a good girl, but something took over me and gave me feelings I had learned to feel shame about. I was horny. I was so horny and wanted him in the dirtiest ways.

I dragged my hand over his crotch and could feel there was something alive under the denim. There was something moving in there. Keith pulled back a little so I could watch while he unbuckled his belt with a jiggle. I couldn't look away; I didn't want to look away. I wanted to see it. I wanted to see his cock. I thought of the word in my head: “cock.” I had never said it, but I knew I would call it that. He had a cock. My ex-boyfriend had a “penis.” Sometimes a “dick,” when I wanted to sound more relaxed, but I knew Keith had a cock.

He unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down to the floor so that he wore just a pair of white boxers that didn't hide at all what was under them. I could see something long and thick and big balls being restrained under the tight material. Keith dragged a hand over the thick member causing the fabric to stretch even tighter. I could see veins and the shape of the head. I couldn't look away even if I felt I was blushing down to my chest.

“Have you seen one before?” He asked softly. His voice didn't match how dirty he looked with his legs wide apart and his cock trying to break free from the thin fabric. I just replied with a nod because my voice had disappeared at the same time my pussy had gotten wetter and wetter.

“You're not a virgin?” He asked and took hold of my chin so we could look each other in the eyes. I shook my head, and he looked at me with furrowed brows.

“I want you to talk to me. Hmm? Can you talk to me, baby girl?” He asked, pinching my nipple hard. I didn't know if that was some sort of punishment for not talking or if he just wanted to wake me up, but he got me to make a sound and then nod.

“I can talk…”

“Are you a virgin?” He asked again. I wondered why he asked that twice while I looked at him doe-eyed.

“No. I had a boyfriend.”

Keith nodded and gave me a soft kiss. He continued to kiss me softly, which made me relax. I felt safe with him, and when he leaned back and looked at me with kind eyes, I felt I needed to tell him something.

“It was a long time ago… And he was nothing like you. I… It feels new with you. You make me feel things…” Keith smiled a little and pulled me up on his lap. My pussy was pressed against his balls, and I could feel the hammering start again. I looked down at his crotch, seeing the thick line. Was it really that big?

“Do you want to see?” He asked, taking a hold of my chin again so I would look up at him. I looked between his eyes and lips, and that made him lean forward so I could press my lips against his again. I invaded his mouth with my tongue, but he slowed me down again when he took hold of my neck.

“Slow down, honey…”

My hands laid on his chest as I blushed. The feelings were everywhere, and I felt that intense pressure between my legs again. I was forced to sit down on his thigh and press myself hard against him.

“Does your little pussy hurt?” I looked up at him and nodded. Somehow it had become so much of an embarrassment that I worried it would be a permanent feeling. Keith sat up and shifted me from his lap, so I stood between his legs. He dragged his big hands over my hips and then took hold of my pajama pants and panties with his index finger. He looked up at me with a smile.

“Can I take them off?”

I nodded a little, too mesmerized by him and drunk on newly discovered feelings. Carefully he pulled them off, and I stepped out of them, so I stood in just my strappy top. Keith took my hands in his so I wouldn't be able to conceal myself when he leaned back. Now it was him who looked overwhelmed, and I could see his cock twitch.

“Completely shaved?”

“Yeah?”

“That was…” He cleared his throat and stared between my legs like he hadn't seen a woman naked before. “It was a long time ago… Can I touch?” He looked up at me with those big puppy eyes, and to my own surprise, I sat down over his legs. Straddling him with the soles of my feet pressed against the outside of his thighs. He could see everything.

A loud moan fell from his lips just by the sight of me like that as he dragged a hand over and over his member.

“Is this just for me?” He whispered, running his hands on the inside of my thighs. “Or do you give yourself to other men like this?”

I shook my head.

“Just you. You make me crazy.”

“Yeah?” Keith leaned forward and kissed my knee, then the inside of my thigh.

“I don't know what's happening with me…”

Keith smiled sweetly, then he turned his full attention to my pussy again. Carefully he put two fingers against me, shaped like a V, and massaged my outer lips, feeling my smooth skin. He breathed heavily, and after a while he let his middle finger drag between the lips, collecting my wetness. I could feel him stroke a spot higher up that made my whole body tingle, but to my disappointment, he just dragged his fingertip there teasingly. Instead, his goal was to penetrate me with his finger, and I wasn't all prepared for how rough he would do it. His fingers were long and thick, so when he pushed it in quite violently, my entrance cramped up at first and the pain shot out to my limbs.

“So tight... So tight...” he whispered. I had closed my eyes from the shock, but when he had started to pump his middle finger in and out of me in an even rhythm, I opened my eyes. The image before me shocked me because Keith had pulled out his thickness and jerked himself off in the same rhythm that he finger fucked me in. He was even bigger when I saw his cock like that, even while his big hand held it. He let his finger slip out of me and looked at me with such a sweet expression it was hard for me to not giggle.

“What?” He asked, showing off his deep dimple in his cheek. I giggled again, and he dragged his hands over my thighs. After having been watching each other for a while, he moved me away from him. The thought of him being pleased and finished stressed me, but he just pulled off his boxers completely so I could see his cock fully exposed. Had Tim been that big? Far from it. Did he really push that into girls? It wasn't possible. I continued to stare. I had just seen Tim's and had never really looked at it. I had chosen to never go down on him, and we had sex in the dark, but here I now sat next to a grown man that I had the feeling was quite well endowed. I wish I could say it was pretty, but a man's genitals were something else. It looked scary to me.

Keith smiled and pulled me closer so I could have my head against his shoulder, then he laid my hand on his thigh so I could decide myself if I wanted to touch.

“It's okay, honey, take your time…” he said and dragged his fingers through my hair. I looked up at him. It was so nice how sweet he was about it all and how much he took care of me. He really was such a man. I kissed him again and pushed my nose tip against his cheek. It felt like I was falling for him. That sweet, wonderful man. With his big cock. I looked down again and wrapped my fingers around him, feeling his girth and weight in my hand. Keith made a deep exhalation, but let me explore by myself. I dragged my hand all the way up to the head, feeling the mushroom tip against my palm. It was really wet, and I took the wetness in my hand when I dragged my hand all the way down to his balls. I looked at them a bit confused. I didn't know if I should touch them. I had never heard about that. I looked back at Keith, who sat with his head leaned back against the headrest, and he seemed to understand what I was wondering.

“I want you to play with them, roll them in your hands, squeeze them a bit carefully…” His voice was much deeper than before, so I looked at him with the biggest eyes. He smiled at me lovingly.

“You're so cute. Such a good girl.” I giggled a little at his praise and then looked down at his cock again, still in my hand.

I sat up a little so I could use both my hands, so with one hand I started to roll his balls in my hand; it felt a bit awkward, and Keith probably felt it too because he spoke up.

“Spit on them… Spit in your hands, baby...”

I looked at him confused, so instead he took my hands and pulled them towards his mouth where he spit several times into them. Long, watery saliva threads landed in my hands, but I wasn't grossed out. All of it was sexy in the heat of the moment. When I started to roll his balls in my hand again, they glided better, and with his hand over mine, we jerked his slick cock. He showed me the pressure he wanted. His breathing became more heavy with every stroke. I saw how his t-shirt had ridden up and how I could see a deep v-line but also a hint of abs. I leaned back looking at him with furrowed brows and how his wide chest rose and fell with each deep breath. He was so gorgeous. He was so sexy. I released his balls so I could touch myself, but when Keith noticed, he pulled me up over him and steered my pussy towards his cock.

“Take it. Fuck me.” He said it lowly, but I didn't dare. It was too big. “Take my cock. Take daddy's cock, baby girl.”

I looked at his face intensely, meeting his dark, lustful gaze. I wanted to but also didn't. I needed to make a decision. But not then and there, because when I looked out the window, I saw our neighbor Mr. Gardner look through the window, straight at us.

×

[treefory]

An offer you can’t turn down?

A 1,018 word fic that’s 95% monologue and 5% dialogue. I won’t let Capo and Hector have a break lol.

He found himself staring off the edge of the cliff of grove cove. Pink waters flowed in paths around the islands and dipped into tall waterfalls that led to the ocean below. The sounds of the crashing water almost completely drowned out the sounds of the bizzyboys playing volleyball behind him.

He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and with a few tries with his lighter, he had it lit in his mouth. The salty air drifted the smoke away after every draw. He always appreciated every bit of down time while he was on the clock.

Things are different now. Almost a month ago, the world almost ended. Inspekta fell from godhood and became human again. Everything seemed to change in one day.

“Heya capo!” A familiar voice called from behind- no, Nostalgic was a better word instead of familiar.

Capochin turned to face Inspek- wrong name, he turned to face Hector. His voice was different compared to when he was a god. It was older but still sounded the exact same when he ascended 33 years ago. Like hearing an old song from your childhood that brought back so many memories.

He still looked the same too. His dark blue curly hair that fell over his shoulders, A red and yellow sweater that was tucked into his pants, And A black button nose below his big red glasses. Other than some new wrinkles that decorated his face he looked the exact same way he did the day he became a god.

…The day he became Inspekta

“Yeah?” Capochin replied gruffly. It was so weird having Hector back. He wasn’t used to his boss being able to just walk up to him. A part of him missed the days where he chose when to see him.

“We’re all a getin shaboingboings.” Hector gestured over a nearby hotdog stand. But the way he said it was off. It was a command- an order- a demand. Not a question, but a fact.

A month ago, Capochin would have never batted an eye to his words. A devoted follower of the “one and only god” would never question his leader. He did whatever he said like how he was meant to. Workers answer to the boss and do as they’re told.

He has been there since day one. His first follower to bow to his feet. To hang on his every word. To be the god he prayed to when he felt his lowest and the god he thanked when he felt his highest. 33 years of pure loyalty to his eldest friend.

The way he cooked for him his favorite meal, burgers with tomato, lettuce, pickles, and steak. The meat was personal. A perfect representation of him giving himself up for his god. And he did it every day for him.

He’d watch inspekta take the first bite, and swoon when the flavor hit his tongue. His heart would skip a beat just by the look on his face.

He loves it

He loves me

He’d go to the end of the earth for his god. He’d destroy the world for his god. Rule over everyone with his one and only god. Then will they be equal, Side by side, together

“Nah” Capochin turned away, back to the ocean, and took a breath from his cigarette.

“What?” Hector faltered “but-“

“I’m not going” he deadpanned

All of that was 33 years ago. On his knees begging for something- ANYTHING more than praise. Give him an inch of respect and I’d feel like a yard- no, a mile!

And nothing

For 3 decades, treated like his dog. ‘Capo, deliver this letter!’ “Capo, put up more poy-sters!” “Capo, more burgies!” Capochin didn’t even sound like a name anymore when you toss it around like that.

It’s not even his real name. a name earned through accomplishments, how many letters were there now? Yet a name he clung on to with every fiber of his being. It was his worth

Everything he was worth to inspekta

But he’s gone now.

“But why not?” Hector challenged, his words had a layer of confusion to cover hostility

What? Not used to him saying no?

“Cuz I don’t want too” he said with a shrug

But he did want to. So so badly. A terrible force of habit. He was the god of leadership for a reason. His voice really was like a melody that you couldn’t help but get lost in.

That song was stuck in his head for 33 cobdanm years. This earworm told him to end the world and he danced along to the rhythm. Like a good little dog who only answered to his master

But he was tired of being his bitch

“And I don’t got to, if I don’t want to.” Capochin finished

Hector paused, he knew this ran deeper than not wanting hotdogs. “Capochin…” he held onto his own tail “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t answer

“I know I put yew threw a lot for a long time. And it’s just… I’m so, so sorry for what I did.” He began wringing his tail in his hands “but, fwom human to human, let’s just hang out! Like old times!”

Capochin took a drag “I appreciate the sentiment…” he took the used up cigarette from his mouth and stamped it out on the ground “but I don’t forgive you, and I don’t think I ever will.”

That hurts to admit. Would he really never? Not today at least. Too many raw feelings to stuff down. Jealousy, hatred, stress, admiration… love? There was no way to fit all that junk into a neat box. You Have to wait for it to cook down before it could fit.

“Oh… okay. Sorry for botherin’ yew.” He choked. With his tail still clutched in his hands, he turned and began walking away.

Capochin looked back and yelled “AND PUT YOUR TAIL DOWN! You want even more bandages?!”

“No sir!” Hector dropped his tail as he called back and hastily returned to the bizzyboys.

Even after all those years, he still couldn’t help but care.

[darkpuppysuit]

~Chapter 3~

Hybdrid!BTSxHuman!Reader

⚠️WARNINGS: Marijuana use, alcohol use, hybrid scenting, dirty talk (nothing too extreme I don't think, not this chapter anyway😏),

MATURE THEMES MDNI!!

It's been just over three months since the hybrids had slipped into Y/n's barn that fateful night and they couldn't be happier. Hoseok wakes up early with Y/n every morning and only after light conversation over a cup or two of coffee he goes for a small jog around the farm, sometimes Namjoon will join him only to stop in the sunflower field to watch the sun rise while he reads a book from the never ending shelf in the living room.

Seokjin wakes up a few hours after Y/n does and helps her make breakfast for the eight of them every morning bantering back and forth, asking questions, learning new things from her. He admires the motherly aspect of her personality whole heartedly. Is this what it felt like to fall for a someone? To not only see how perfect they are but how imperfect they are at the same time? 

Don't get him wrong he's no saint but to him, there's just something about the simple and easy purity in being taken care of for a change, instead of being the one to take care of others that keeps him smiling at her clumsy little hands when she almost drops the bag of sugar onto the floor one morning or the way she blushes every time he bends down to her level to look into her beautiful pale blue eyes, listening to her talk even though he can hear her just fine standing up straight.

Yoongi will normally wake up the second he smells breakfast being made, shuffling into the kitchen resting his hands on Y/n's waist before nudging his nose against her bare neck before walking to the coffee pot to pour him his own cup of coffee with a few ice cubes mixed in. Finding his perch in the reading nook in the living room across from the large couch gazing out the large window, probably bird watching or something. 

Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook almost never wake up before noon so most of the morning chores are done before they even get out of bed giving the three hybrids an almost completely free afternoon to do what they wanted.

Despite Jimin's smaller lean frame he's a great help with the farm animals, giving the new baby chicks names like peaches or something that just seems a little too butch for a small, soft little ball of yellow poof. Y/n is slowly teaching him how to ride a horse, starting with Dove who was thoroughly trained by Y/n herself. 

She leads the horse around the open pen by the rope she tied to her bridle to guide Dove around with Jimin holding onto the straps for dear life the first go around but with Y/n's encouraging words and kind hearted smile, he was determined to be able to ride a horse like she does one day just conceivably sooner rather than later. 

"Tomorrow we're going to have that bonfire I've been putting off for the last few days. Emily and John are off work on Saturday so they said they would come by with some goodies. Knowing Emily that could only mean weed and alcohol." Y/n rubs the sleep from her eyes only slightly mumbling half her words to Seokjin who is surprisingly up before she was, Hoseok having already run out the door for his morning jog. 

Seokjin looks at her curiously and a little bewildered handing her cup of coffee to her just the way she likes it. "Alcohol I'm familiar with but weed? Not so much, actually not at all if I'm being honest." They both take a sip of their drinks, Y/n setting her mug down on the table walks over to the cabinet next to the stove to pull out a few pans and a pot. "Marijuana, I know it's not for everyone and there's a lot of rumors and such surrounding it but damn does it make you feel better than just being drunk. Being cross-faded is my personal favorite." He doesn't say much when she explains all the different strains and weird names, some are funny he'll admit but not out loud.

Y/n hasn't been able to wear anything other than long sleeves and chaps over her jeans since taking in the squirrely, stubborn mustang and the wear and tear the horse is giving her, being bucked off only a handful of times, she has gathered a small crowd around the fence barely paying them any mind. "Where do you think she learned all of this from?" Jimin leans over his crossed arms on the fence speaking to the moose hybrid who's staring intently at every move the horse makes including every tug and pull Y/n answers him with. 

"I think she said her cousin started teaching her when her grandfather broke his hip but, whoever taught her did a damn good job, she's only fallen off once since I've been here and that was a few hours ago." Jungkook kicks the fence post with the boots Y/n had bought all of them just last week, only now being able to really wear them when he was out here with her just past the sunflower field and a few yards away from the large pond where the cows stood grazing on the green grass at the break pen. 

Namjoon and Jin join the other two hybrids at the fence when Y/n is bucked forward over the mustang's head, quickly standing to her feet only for her chest to be met with a kick from the tired horse and she hits the fence with force, her hat flying off and her head hitting a post in the process. Namjoon and Jungkook are the first to spring forward, jumping over the gate one grabbing the horse by the bridle and the other rushing to Y/n's side the retriever and jaguar hybrid following close behind. 

"Y/n! Holy shit! Are you okay? Y/n!" Seokjin kneels down in front of her slumped figure somehow getting there before Namjoon or Jimin could, her head hangs low and he scoops her face into his warm hands trying to get her to react. "Y/n! I swear if you die on me I'm going to burn all of your vinyl records! Elvis Presley included!" It was an empty threat but when she doesn't respond to it like she had many times before Seokjin starts to panic even more, shaking her in a desperate attempt to wake her up. 

"Goddammit, someone get Yoongi she's not responding but she's breathing. Don't just stand there, go!" Namjoon yells at the younger hybrids and they both take off sprinting towards the house as fast as their legs would carry them.

Namjoon kneels next to the jaguar hybrid who is doing anything he can to get Y/n to respond to him, he puts a hand on Seokjin's shoulder and he looks at him with tears running down his face. "We should've came out here earlier, maybe- maybe this wouldn't have happened and she would be f-fine." Seokjin chokes on air as he pulls her body close scenting the top of her head heavily, fearing the worst.

A few minutes later Y/n slowly comes to her senses, her eyes flutter open with a grunt, reaching for the back of her head and winces. "Ow." Is the only word that falls from her lips when Seokjin and Namjoon help her sit up, a look of pure shock on Seokjin's tear stained face that he attempts to clean with his sweater sleeve. "Could you possibly- never do that again?" Seokjin quips with a half hearted smile as the other five hybrids come running from the house and yelling down the slope of the hill towards them. 

They barely get the gate open as Yoongi slides through the dirt to kneel in front of her. "I heard you hit your head. How are you feeling kit?" Besides the throbbing in the back of her head she was fine to say the least, Yoongi and Namjoon help her to her feet and Jimin hands her the hat she was wearing.

Dusting it off on her pants she sets it back on her head straight and she sighs followed by a whistle. "That bastard is going to be glue here in the next five minutes I swear to Gods." She grunts as she fixes her belt, her scent of burnt leather and ashy cedar signaling to the hybrids she was pissed and not to get in her way. 

Looking around to locate the horse, spotting it trotting in a circle on the other side of the break pen, she sets her sights on him and stomps towards him tapping him on the snout before swinging herself onto the saddle strapped to it's back and to her surprise when she pulls on the reigns he follows her every command for the next two hours, Jimin was even able to get close to the mustang without it flinching or kicking. 

The next day at the grocery store in the freezer section the hybrid's stuck to Y/n like super glue giving her almost no breathing room. "Hey my boys, What do you think about meatball subs for the bonfire tonight?" Y/n turned to ask the lot of them what they thought, some of their cheeks burned when she called them her boys others stumbling over their words or fumbling with their hands or even looking at anything else other than her. 

Namjoon is quick to mumble an agreement before Y/n could even catch onto their stiff movements. Moving to the next aisle over into the bread section to get some buns and maybe snag a small bag of candy along the way the hybrids had disbursed into different areas of the store looking for any snacks that would be good to munch on later. 

Y/n is quietly humming to herself when there is a sudden presence behind her, the being starts to rub her back and Y/n's hair on the back of her neck stands on end because this isn't one of the hybrids she's come to love and know so well.

"Hey baby, miss me?" Y/n shivers when his nasty breath ghosts across her skin as she's frozen to her spot, staring at the nearly empty shelf in front of her. 

She takes a deep breath, her body is vibrating with anxiety and her vision slightly blurs due to the tears collecting in her eyes. "Wh-What are you doing here Adam?"

Adam lays his meat cleaver sized tattooed hands onto her shoulders giving them a tight squeeze. "I've come home, I told you I'd come back when I got out or did you forget?" He turns her around harshly and her hat falls off her head and into the cart next to her. "You know what happens when you say shit like that, you never could hold a lot in that tiny brain of yours could you?" 

He chuckles at her terrified expression and her clouded eyes as a tear falls onto her cheek. "I-I'm s-sorry, it won't happen a-again." Y/n stares at the ground when he waves his hand in her face causing her to flinch hard tapping the back of her already hurting head on the shelf behind her. "Tsk tsk, I'll let it slide since I just got back but," He leans in close to her ear the smell of shitty cigars and dry gin stinging her nose, he puts a death grip around the softer area of her ribs squeezing hard most likely bruising her tender body but she hardly reacts because she knew if she was to make a face, a sound, anything it would set him off like it had so many times in the past. 

"When we get home I'm going to fuck you until you can't get off the bed much less twitch." His disgusting words rang through her head over and over again, her eyes misty, tears falling onto the plaid work shirt, tilting her head down further her trauma response is to lay her head on him. When the top of her head meets his chest he chuckles darkly wrapping his large arms around her.

"Good gi-" Before Adam could get another word out edgewise, a fist makes contact with his cheek causing him to fall to the ground with a thud and a loud grunt, taking Y/n to the ground with him.

Namjoon and Yoongi come to her aide running and manage to free her from his grasp but she's barely able to stand on her own shaking legs as she watches Taehyung, the soft cuddly hybrid she thought he was, throw a few more hits every time the man tries to get up off the ground. 

"Tae, that's enough. I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!" Namjoon barks when he sees blood dripping from the human's brow, the white tiger hybrid stands to his full daunting height, looming over the groaning thing on the floor looking over at Y/n.

His eyes soften when he sees her trembling form, she's weak at the knees and by the look of her glossy eyes and scent of wet, soggy leather and moldy cedar they could tell she wasn't mentally here at the moment. 

"What the fuck happened?" Jin shouts as he and the rest of the hybrids rush down the aisle with arms full of snacks and drinks. "Where's Y/n?" Jimin asks when he sees a different human on the floor groaning in pain. Namjoon moves to the side, the retriever hybrid catches a glimpse of her soft glossy hair on the other side of him covering her face making it hard for him to look her in the eyes. Jimin walks towards her carefully, leaning down to her level, tucking some of her hair behind her ear when she makes eye contact with him and slowly comes out of her own head. 

"J-Jimin? I'm so s-sorry. I didn't- he-" Her voice was trembling as well as her body, leaning against the shelves behind the three of them, her hair falling around her flushed cheeks. "Hey, hey hush. No don't do that you did nothing wrong. Let's get our stuff paid for and go home okay? We have a party to host remember?" Y/n nods her head, taking a deep breath as Adam picks himself up off the floor with a stomp. 

"She's not going anywhere with you filthy animals, if anything she's coming home with me!" He barks at nobody in particular as he's still trying to get his vision to focus. Y/n's head snaps up at his voice before she walks right up to him pointing her finger in his face, her jaw set as she rips him a new asshole.

"I'm not going anywhere with anyone! We are going home Adam, if you so much as follow us out of this store- I have a shotgun in the bed of my truck with your name on it." Though her threat was empty and there was indeed no shotgun in the back of her truck Y/n still growled it at him all the same before turning around and walking away.

Back at the house Y/n is rushing around trying to get everything ready, cooking the meatballs in the crockpot, making sure all the alcohol she bought was either in the freezer or the fridge. She sets out some snacks and makes sure there were enough blankets and lawn chairs for everyone to sit on.

Hoseok watches her run around like a chicken with her head cut off for a few minutes, sweating underneath her work clothes and just when Y/n is about to pass him for the fifth time he grabs her by the arm and pulls her towards him, their bodies colliding together as Hoseok holds her close. 

"Take it easy honey. Why don't you go upstairs, take a shower and get out of your work clothes for a change? It's hot as hell outside and it's only going to get hotter next to the fire later." Hoseok winks then quickly wraps an arm around her waist pulling her body even closer to his, staring into her eyes as his gaze roams over her face, committing her shocked expression and pink cheeks to memory gently rubbing his cheek against hers. 

Y/n lays her hands on his chest, the fox hybrid starts purring in her ear before he opens his mouth to speak again. "Go on, go get ready pretty." He turns her around pushing her towards the stairs, giving her ass a firm smack and before she could protest Hoseok chuckled claiming the rest of them could handle what was left. 

Once Y/n was finished with her long hot shower, finally washing away all the dirt and grime collected on her soft skin her phone rings. Picking it up she answers her best friends video call. "Hey girl, you ready for tonight? Just a few more hours!" Emily squeals on the other side of the phone which causes Y/n to wince at the sudden volume change, opening her large closet to find something to wear. "Not exactly I mean I have all the food and alcohol fixed, finished, and ready to go. The one thing I have no idea what I'm doing, is picking what to wear." 

Y/n doesn't know why the pit of her stomach is doing flips every time she thinks about the party that's only a few hours away, maybe because she knew how horny she could be when she was inebriated and it's slowly starting to make her sick.

Taking a deep breath as she puts on a matching pair of lace underwear and her favorite lace bra when Emily chimes in again. "Oh, wear those booty shorts I got you for your birthday last year with that pretty purple tank top that hugs your curves just right!" 

She says excitedly, Y/n can't help but roll her eyes at her through the phone sifting through her closet dresser. "Why do you always dress me like a whore when we do things together?" Now it's Emily's turn to roll her eyes. "Because If I didn't you'd be dressed in your country hick clothes and we can't have that, not when you have seven hybrids checking you out on the daily when your back is turned." Y/n can't believe the words that just flew from her best friends mouth, is that all she thinks about these days? 

Trying to get Y/n laid or to find someone to have for the rest of her life she didn't know but either way Emily needed to calm down. "Em, you know I'm in this for the long haul, I don't care if they're checking me out when my back is turned, it's probably just part of their hybrid instincts or something."

After a few minutes of arguing and throwing insults each others way Y/n is finally able to get dressed just as their conversation was coming to an end. "All I'm saying Y/n, is you need to ask them about the scenting part of being a hybrid because I heard it's important to their health, but it hurts like a bitch." Y/n didn't know why it would hurt so much, their scenting has been pretty mild and she doesn't mind it when they put their hands on her, it comes with the territory after all. 

Meanwhile downstairs, Seokjin is making sure the last few finishing touches inside the house are done while Jungkook and Namjoon fill buckets of water from the outside spout, taking them down to the large wood pile, along with other burnable junk, incase there were a few flaming fly aways.

Hoseok and Jimin were in the living room playing some type of combat game meanwhile Yoongi had tucked himself in the reading nook like he always does and Taehyung is messing with an old camera he found underneath the stairwell when he was looking for new sheets for his bed upstairs. 

Namjoon slowly follows Jungkook up the back steps sweating more so than normal when he comes in from outside, grabbing a towel from the dryer on his way through the kitchen.

Seokjin stops him before he can cross the archway into the foyer. "What's going on with you? You're shirt is soaked through and your body is literally hot to the touch." He sighs as Namjoon puts the towel on the back of the chair beside him. 

"I don't really know Jin, this has never happened to me before. I keep sweating bullets and can't catch my breath when I even think about-" The wolf hybrid is quickly distracted before he can finish his sentence when Y/n comes down the stairs, her large chest bouncing perfectly underneath her bright purple tank top.

Moving his eyes downward he notices she's wearing really short jean shorts with her tiny bare feet padding down the stairs, her ankles adorned with gold and silver chains with tiny charms on them. 

But what makes the air hard to breath for him and the others in the room is her golden sun kissed skin, they thought was an empty canvas, is actually covered in tattoos from her ankles up her thick thighs to her hips and from her wrists up to her shoulders with a few odds and ends littering her chest cavity.

She turns to walk towards the living room and Namjoon could barely see the beginnings of a moon phase tattoo leading downwards to what looks like a very old tramp stamp. 

"Holy fucking shit. Taehyung, you sir owe me twenty bucks!" The moose hybrid pats the tiger on the back hard which causes him to grimace when he drops a small gear onto the counter top of the kitchen island almost losing it in the sink, he looks back the moose with a death glare.

"Y/n, when were you going to tell us your whole body is covered in art like a fucking goddess cause goddamn, you're something out of one of those erotic novels." Hoseok grabs her by the hand spinning her around from the archway in the living room towards the kitchen. She lets out her beautiful unfiltered laugh that rings throughout the house before coming to a dizzy stop in front of the staircase again. 

"Whoa fuck, sorry I guess I'm so used to having them that I kind of forgot?" Trying to get her vision to focus again Y/n has yet to realize she was wobbling her way towards Namjoon and before either of them knew it she trips over her own feet and towards the floor but before she could hit the floor Namjoon swiftly catches her in his arms. Holding her by her lower back with one arm as the other wraps around her upper body his hand instinctively caressing the nape of her neck to keep her head from bending back too far. 

Y/n wraps her arms around Namjoon's neck and when she looks up again, like something out of a movie, her pale eyes meet soft chocolate orbs. Namjoon's ears flick around listening to every gasp and oh my gods barely able to hear them as he locks eyes with Y/n. The very person plaguing his mind with her curvy breed-able figure and sweet southern accent all fucking day.

Namjoon wasn't sure what to do in this situation he was perpetually frozen, in one hand he had his alpha screaming bloody murder at him flashing all sorts of lewd and pornographic images of all the different positions he could have her in within the hour, making him sweat even more and his body vibrate with electricity.

He can feel her cool skin sizzling against his own blazing touch on her lower back, not to mention his issue downstairs. He was just hoping, praying even, that when he stood up straight no one would mention the growing tent in his pants. 

Before either of them could utter a single syllable the doorbell rings, quite literally saving Namjoon by the mother fucking bell. It startles him to the point he almost drops Y/n on the ground needing to get out of there as soon as physically possible. "I should go get th-that." He helps her stand up and she quickly shuffles towards the door. 

With Y/n out of the room the rest of the hybrids are staring at Namjoon. Most of them are trying to keep themselves from laughing while the others like Hoseok and Jungkook are laughing at him outright.

"J-Joon you might want to go f-fix yourself before..."Hoseok can't help but burst into another fit of laughter, hiding his face in the moose hybrids shoulder so Jungkook has to finish his sentence for him. 

"Before whoever's at the door sees that." Jungkook points down at his own pants when Namjoon looks down and closes his eyes in frustration. "Don't mention a damn word to Y/n got it? I have enough problems today, the last thing I need is for you assholes to make it worse than it already is." He rushes off to his room still wiping the sweat off his brow and doing his best to keep the ever growing nausea rising in his throat down, he wasn't going to ruin her party just because he didn't know what the fuck was going on with him. 

A few hours later Namjoon still hasn't come down from his bedroom and Y/n and Emily have already lost themselves and are so far gone it's hard to tell who to corral first. Her friend who likes to play with fire or Y/n who is currently going between the bonfire and the house on the back of Dove claiming, drinking and driving is how you get a ticket so why not save a cowboy ride a horse, right? Or was it the other way around?

Eventually Y/n finally sits down in one of the few lawn chairs, taking a hit off the blunt Emily passed to her when it hits her. "Where's Jooniebug? Haven't seen him since uh earlier." Her already red cheeks somehow turn an even darker shade when she vaguely mentions the incident from just a few hours ago to Emily.

Jungkook looks at Hoseok and they burst out in laughter at Y/n and her childish nickname for the wolf hybrid as Taehyung snaps a picture of her with Jungkook laughing in the background. 

She looks so beautiful next to the fire. The way her tattoos glow in the orange haze, the way her curvy body moves when she crosses her legs. The smoke she blew out of her pretty pink lips dances around her beautiful round face, to think he caught almost all of her beauty on camera. 

He didn't care to notice it before but everything about her is adorably sexy, even her small feet kicking in the air when she laughs at a joke her friend made is the cutest thing he's ever seen and don't get Taehyung started on her laugh. Oh how it was pure and unfiltered to his ears, he could listen to it every day for the rest of his life and die a very happy man.

"Tae?" Her addictively sweet southern accent and cute nickname for the tiger hybrid brings him out of his reverie, his eyes snapping back to meet hers and his tail standing ramrod stiff like he'd been caught doing something illegal. She's holding the blunt out offering it to him and he puts his hand up that's not holding the vintage camera and shakes his head. "No I don't smoke, sorry." 

Y/n in her cross faded state doesn't take no for an answer, she stands up and takes the camera from his hand, giving it to Emily who now stands next to her more drunk than high at the moment.

She kneels down onto the blanket Taehyung is sitting on and situates herself onto his lap straddling his hips making his ears down to his neck burn with the heat of a thousands suns and the ears on top of his head to flatten against his fluffy hair before she leans in close and explains her actions to him, laying her left hand on his shoulder delicately. 

"Since this is your first time this is what we're gonna- do okay- listen closely." She whispers the last part of her sentence in his ear and he nods his head yes, completely wiggin' out at how close she was. He could easily pull her in and kiss her lips raw but she obviously doesn't understand what she's doing to him right now. 

Y/n rubs his head between his ears roughly sending shivers down his spine and straight down to his cock shifting his legs underneath her, his large hands hovering just above her hips.

"Good boy, now- I'm going to hit this, and then as I'm breathing it out I need you to breath in okay?" Y/n even in her inebriated state, makes sure Taehyung is comfortable. He knew he could back out at any given time if he really didn't want to go through with this. "Y-yeah I-I-I got it."

Y/n smiles at him giggling like a schoolgirl before taking a large puff off the blunt in her hands. She passes it to Emily before she hands it over to Hoseok who takes a smaller puff.

Emily holds the camera up as Y/n holds Taehyung by the jaw to keep his head in place and leans in close their lips a literal breath apart. His hands clamp down onto her hips harshly a deep chuff erupting from his chest with his eyes shut.

She gasps when he places his hands on her, sending a small shiver down her spine when she feels his chest vibrate causing her to part her lips more closing her eyes. Blowing the smoke out as he breathes the weird tasting smoke into his lungs and the flash of the old camera goes off but both of them are too lost in the moment to really notice. 

Taehyung chuffs a little longer this time almost turning it into a deep growl as he squeezes her soft squishy body. Tightening his long fingers almost hard enough to leave bruises on her delicate hips when her lips ghost over his and before he knew it he had taken his first hit of weed in his life.

The fact it came from the one person he admires the most sitting on his lap holding him like a vice as if he was going to float aways any given moment. Getting him high? Now that was just the icing on the cake and all he needed was the strawberry on top. 

He was about to seal his fate with whatever god chose to play with him tonight until the rough clearing of someone's throat from across the way jerks him out of his reverie once again. He turns his head quickly causing Y/n to thump her forehead against his collar bone, unknowingly rubbing against his scent gland causing his ears to twitch haphazardly and his eyes to roll back a little. 

"You guys need a minute?" Emily asks as she snaps another picture of the pair of them together when Seokjin drunkenly chimes in. "Do that to me like, fuck." He takes a deep breath and sighs loudly, finishing his bloody mary that was completely full before standing up to throw the pre mix can into the fire. Making a b-line to the two sat on the ground, like a literal b-line. 

Seokjin wobbles and trips over a few holes in the dirt before he makes it to the plaid blanket. "Y/n, You should probably go check on Namjoon- he- he needs to talk to- to you." Seokjin speaks through hiccups and a gag as he tastes the tomato juice on his breath, shaking her slumped figure causing her chest to rumble.

Not quite like a purr or a growl like a hybrid would but even so it causes Seokjin to retract a little and Taehyung to pull on her to sit up right noticing her eyes are closed with a grimace ruining her once smiling cheeks into a frown. 

"Y/n-ie go on, I need to talk to Tae for a minute anyway." Seokjin nudges her by the shoulder, talking surprisingly crystal clear and she reluctantly gets off of the white tiger hybrid, wobbling and tripping like Seokjin had towards the house just over the hill but not before she yells back. "You owe me a drink when I get back Jinnie!" 

Back inside the house Y/n is still fumbling over her own clumsy feet trying to at the very least get up the stairs in one piece. "Ouch- fuck- who put that table there?" She grumbles rubbing her hip that was just assaulted by the table in the hallway a few doors down from Namjoons bedroom, his light is still on so that means one of two things. 

One, he was still awake, Y/n tries to think clearer as she makes her way down the hall hopefully there aren't anymore magic tables to get in her way before she reaches the door.

Number two, he forgot to turn the light off before completely crashing, which was odd for him because he always turned the light off after he was done reading or writing and before actually going to bed. 

Y/n's hand taps the doorknob, trying to grasp it, or at least see it in the dark hallway so she could grab it but instead she rests her head heavily against the door in frustration with a soft thud.

"Why am I like this? Oh yeah, nevermind. Namjoon!" She shouts dragging out the last part of his name thinking that should wake him up and she calls him again.

"Jooniebug! Joon- Joonie?" She calls him over and over again but she hears, what sounds like a grunt or a moan she didn't know, come through the underside of his bedroom door. Somewhat sobering up she knocks on his door and opens it just a sliver, poking her head through the crack. "Namjoon? Are you alright?" She asks timidly, slowly pushing herself through the doorway towards his bed. 

Namjoon lays in his bed, sweating so much part of the it is soaked with an outline of his body. His face is scrunched in what looks like pain, a lot of pain.

He's twisting and turning like he's trying to get away from something. Y/n slowly approaches his side, nearly sobering up this time as she puts her wrist on his forehead flinching away as his skin is boiling hot like the sun.

"Oh my gods, Namjoon you need to wake up we have to get to the hospital now! Oh fuck fuck fuck, I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner to check on you-" Y/n reaches for Namjoon's blanket that's been wrapped around his body haphazardly. Tangled with his long legs trying to get him up to go to the emergency room when her wrist is caught in a tight grip and she's yanked onto the bed. Namjoon hovers over her resting his large hands on either side of her head straddling her hips, successfully pinning her to the bed.

His eyes are glowing yellow, his chest vibrating with a deep snarl and his canine teeth bared like he was in danger meanwhile Y/n stares at him scared for her life.

"Namjoon it's me, Y/n." Her voice is trembling with fear yet she still reaches for the wolf hybrid looking him directly in his eyes. She gently caresses his cheek rubbing her thumb under his eye trying not to suffocate under his staggering body heat. 

Slowly his eyes soften, turning back to their calming brown color. He looks at her with wide misty eyes as he'd realized what he did. "Fuck, I'm sorry Y/n I didn't- I mean-"  Namjoons eyes screw shut as he grinds his teeth against one another, trying to hide his face from her.

He fights against his every instinct screaming at him to claim her, she's here right underneath him why won't he do it? "It's okay Joon, we need to take you to the hospital, you're burning up. I think you might have caught-"

"No, no I didn't catch anything- I mean- Fuck this is difficult-" Namjoon stumbles over his words because he's not too terribly coherent when he's with Y/n especially in this moment.

He has her pinned under his body and every time she squirms he bites back a moan caught in his throat. "I've never had this happen to me. I mean, for fuck sake I had to have Jimin explain it to me since he's a domestic hybrid." 

He moves off of her body to sit next to her trying figure out a way to explain the situation at hand. Y/n is still dazed and confused when a light bulb goes off in her head only now remembering what Emily said about scenting for hybrids; maybe this is what she was taking about when she said it hurt like a bitch.

"Joon, if you need to scent me you have to let me know. I understand I'm- not sober- like at all right now but, you can still come to me- if it's going to cause you to be in pain like this." Y/n sits up in the bed and moves closer to the wolf hybrid and Namjoon shifts a little so he can face her when a shockwave of pain hits his chest and his handsome face scrunches as he doubles over with a whine escaping his perfect lips.

"Namjoon! Shit." She  scrambles in front of him kneeling, she grabs his cheeks rubbing his cheekbones soothingly. "Hey you're going to be okay. Emily told me something about scenting earlier a-and it's something every hybrid needs to do with their owner. I mean I don't f-feel like your owner more like a friend but if that's something you really need for your health then go ahead." 

Namjoon lifts his head and their eyes meet, she's smiles brightly bringing him in for a hug when he stops her. "You're willing to let me mark your skin, just like that?" His face scrunches in agony, he rests his head on her shoulder with his hand clutched to his wet t-shirt as she holds him close.

Y/n wonders why he has to mark her, isn't it just scenting, like rubbing his head against her like he was doing right now? He didn't need to bite her surely not but she hates seeing him so miserable and her questions could wait until tomorrow anyways. Right now the wolf hybrid is her only priority. "Whatever you need to do okay?"

The wolf hybrid barely catches the words that spill from her pink lips as he to pulls her into his lap, wrapping his long arms around her waist, resting his large hands on the middle of her back.

Pulling her forward as she safely places her hands onto his shoulders for stability. He buries his face into her chest, catching a hint of coconut from her perfume infused with her familiar scent of leather and cedarwood which causes a deep-seated groan shoot from his chest up his throat and through his gritted teeth as he hums.

"You're aroma is so fucking intoxicating pup, I could get lost in it all fucking day." He purrs giving her chest cavity a few kisses that turn into him licking up her chest to her collarbone where he nips at her sensitive skin. 

Y/n's chest tightens as she sits on the wolf hybrids lap, not fully aware of just what she's agreed to but she lets him continue his assault on her neck when he latches on to the space just below her jaw and her hands move across his blazing skin to the nape of his neck softly pulling at his hair earning a moan from the hybrid underneath her. "Careful pup, I'm not responsible for my actions if you keep pulling on me like that." Namjoon snarls playfully as his hands continue to roam every curve of her astounding body, his iron grip will most likely leave bruises on her delicate skin. 

The wolf hybrid doesn't want to hurt her but his animal instincts are clouding his judgement, his eyes have blown out so much they look black if it wasn't for the tiny slivers of yellow Y/n would be a complete goner for sure.

Namjoon wraps his arms around her completely, silently wishing there was less clothing between them as he leaves bruises on every part of her visible skin along with open mouth kisses before one particularly rough bite meets her chest cavity and she quickly pulls his head back by his hair causing him to let out a growl at her. "Shouldn't have done that pretty girl." Namjoon forcefully pushes her back on the bed baring his teeth with a snarl, his hands on either side of her head resting his hips between her legs as he stares her down. 

"You have no idea what you do to me babygirl, I barely have any control over myself because of you. Wearing those sinful shorts, those tattoos of yours on full display. When you flick your hair behind you causing your intoxicating scent to fill my senses. Fuck, give me one good reason I shouldn't fuck you right now." He snarls as he dips his head into her neck once again littering her skin with more bruises absently grinding himself against her. A mental battle warring within him.

Y/n can hardly think straight, she's too busy thinking about the wolf hybrid and what he could do to her if she let him. The sheer possessiveness he has over her, maybe it was just the hormones talking or maybe the alcohol but damn she'd be a fool to accept anything less from someone like him or the other six, hell, she was just sitting on Taehyungs lap for fuck sake.

Even in her inebriated state she could feel the lust coming off of him in waves, just like now with Namjoon it was just as nerve racking maybe even more so now that he had her like putty in his hands hovering over her like he had no shame whatsoever.

"Use your words baby." He purrs hovering just above her, desire and lust evident in his tone licking and sucking at his chosen spot against her throat. Namjoon isn't very prideful on visible marks yet for some reason unknown to his coherent thought pattern he wanted, no needed everyone to see the many marks he's leaving on her fragile skin. She's staring at him her eyes heavily lidded whimpering as he speaks filthy words to her. "Everyone is still o-outside, need to get back s-soon." She stutters as Namjoon grasps her hips rather tightly with both of his hands, he noticed how she completely dodged his question but didn't think much of it, nudging her throat with his nose pausing for a moment before pulling her head back by her hair earning a moan from her soft pink lips. 

"Do you like it when I pull on you like that? Oh you are definitely my type of woman." She whimpers at him urging him to mark her when he pulls himself up to meet her eyes. "I'm going to mark you now sweetheart, are you ready?" Y/n nods her head as the wolf hybrid gives her a smirk before connecting his lips to hers, it's like fireworks go off in her head, pressing her lips against his with the same fervor, earning a moan of pleasure from the wolf pulling on her hair roughly, leaning back only to connect with her throat biting down hard, his canines piercing her skin causing Y/n to let out a yelp of pain but it's soon muffled by euphoria. 

Y/n feels as though she has ascended past cloud nine and she's up in the stars looking down at the world below. Namjoon is still locked on her throat sucking with a vice like grip on her body before he pulls back slightly, licking her wound as a drop of blood pools in the dip of her collar bone. "Let's get you cleaned up stay here." The wolf clambers off of the bed and into the hallway bathroom as Y/n lays there completely dazed and confused on what just happened to her. She can't think straight to save her life trying to grasp the concept of what scenting truly meant for hybrids, to think she had six more who hadn't even thought about it. She was in for a wild ride if this is how it was going to be every single fucking time.

Namjoon comes back with a warm towel and starts cleaning the blood that has now dried off of her skin before picking her up and putting her into the bed the correct way. "Take it easy pup, the hazy feeling will go away soon. Could take a few minutes to an hour though." She's thankful for him being informational because if he wasn't and she had to go through this six more times, granted she could just ask the others but she was thankful someone was telling her.

Maybe it was the initial stinging burn that started when he bit into the column of her throat or maybe it was the clouded high she felt afterwards that was causing her to currently see double. "I have to get back out there Jin owes me a drink." Namjoon rolls his eyes at her stubborn attitude and tries to get her to lay back down until she could think straight but she doesn't take sit the fuck down for an answer as she stumbles her way back outside with the wolf hybrid holding her hand being pulled outside. 

A/N: So what do we think about this chapter? I feel like it's all over the place honestly but that's a writers critique on their own stuff I guess.

+ Taehyung working on an old camera and taking pictures of Y/n? Ugh yes, the way he sees her through the lens is just- ugh I love it.

+ AND NAMJOON???? LIKE EXCUSE YOU SIR!!!! I even surprised myself with that one honestly. (It gets "worse")

+ Petition to see more Drunk and Brutally honest Seokjin, uh yes please?

+ Jimin is such a good pup he just wants to be good for Y/n it's making my heart so happy, his hybrid suits him I think.

+ Anyway I'd love to hear your thoughts on it too! I'll stop talking now.

[ask-rain-world-characters]

to all the slugcats and iterators : what do you think about each other and whats your relationship with each one?

OOC - We felt like it was a little too early to give super detailed elaborations about all the relationships between the characters. We thought it would be better if we explored them a little more slowly and thoroughly, so most of our answers here are short and fun and vague - though there are certain exceptions here, of course (after all, some of these answers were recorded a lot earlier than others). Survivor's Answer:

Monk's Answer (written and recorded by ARK, the previous VA):

Watcher's Answer:

Gourmand's Answer:

Rivulet's Answer:

Spearmaster's Answer:

Saint's Answer:

Enot's Answer:

Five Pebbles' Answer:

Seven Red Suns:

Transcripts below:

Survivor: "Well I mean they're very wonderful people! I uhh... I think Gourmand's cooking is pretty great. Enot's... funny. That's the nicest way to put it. Monk's my cool lil sibling. Uhh... Not much else to say."

Monk: "I have created a poem specifically for this" "Hello~. If I were to... Make a reason and a fault for every - single - one of these slugcats around me, I would come up with..." "How about the Survivor first: 'You remind me of myself—a wanderer trying to survive, but you carry so much weight in your heart. I hope you find the family you are looking for.' " "How about you, Hunter?: 'You seem so strong, but also burdened. I can see the urgency in your every move... Are you running out of time?' " "And for you, Gourmand?: 'Ah, you enjoy life in ways many of us cannot. I admire how you savor the little things. Perhaps you see can beauty in this world that others can miss.' " "Artificer: 'You have faced so much pain... You lash out at a world that has wronged you. I wish I could show you a gentler way, but I fear it may already be too late.' " "Rivulet: 'You are so swift—like water flowing freely. I hope you always move forward, without being swept away by the currents of time.' " "You, Spearmaster: 'Your way of survival is so different… It seems lonely, feeding off others' energy. Do you ever wish things were - huh - different?'" "Saint: 'You move with such grace, as if you are already halfway beyond this world. Are you seeking peace, or are you simply done with everything here?' " "For you Enot: 'There is something odd about you, like you don’t quite belong. I hope you find your place and a way to connect with others.' " "And for you, Watcher, the Nightcat: 'You seem distant and lost, like you’ve seen too much and grown weary of it all. I hope you find warmth in the cold places you wander.' " "Thank you for your time."

Watcher: "... I guess, they are very great. Except Enot." "Hmm? Oh... I was supposed to tell more... I... I don't feel great, maybe next time..."

Gourmand: "To be honest, I had reservations about many of the others here - they're a little strange, and you can't just let anyone near your tribe. But I'm certainly warming up to them. They do seem like good fellows. And the iterators... well, they can be helpful and interesting, but it also seems like they have lots of problems themselves. Problems I'd prefer not to stick my nose into. Though their Neurons do taste very funny!"

Rivulet: “I like all of them for the most part! Maybe not Enot, they’re kinda weird and just keep, hitting on me? That’s like, very weird, and not the good kind. Otherwise, I like being around most of them, especially Moon!”

Spearmaster: “Too much to say in this one, just know that all of them have their own special place and that’s what matters. …and I guess Enot, is there too. sigh”

Saint: "They are...acquaintances. I enjoy the company of some more than others, but ultimately not by much."

Enot: "Oh I absolutely adore each and every one of those slugcats, I could ramble on for ages but to keep myself concise, I'll simply say every attribute of them is worth my love, and some day those feelings will turn mutual." "The iterators though, I've only ever met Pebbles, and I guess the blue one but they were in a comatose or something last I remember, but Pebbles is cool, he makes this pretty nice drink called 'Five Pebsi'. It comes in 3 flavors, Daddy Long Legs, Halcyon Memories and my personal favorite, Triple Affirmative" *sluuuuuurp "ahhh, tastes just like-" *THUD

Five Pebbles: "These slugcats are a form of nuisance. Barging into my facility, poking and prodding around, slipping through my superstructure… I can just barely tolerate them. If I wasn’t a merciful iterator, I would eviscerate them on the spot. Yet I do hold a fondness for The Artificer primarily. It is welcoming to have some form of company in my existence. And The Rivulet has helped me assist Moon. So I suppose I owe a debt to both of them, in some way. …As for the iterators… I’m sure you know my opinion of Sliver of Straw. Our ultimatum. She’s the successor, possibly the only one out of us to live up to our creators. The icon of what we devote our existence to… and yet one of the direct causes of my illness, save for.. Seven Red Suns. …I am disappointed in Suns. Small disagreements between us stacked to create a larger gap. I was upset at him for cycles upon cycles, and I’m- I’m not ready to forgive just yet. In the end I hope I can, perhaps in the future if any of us survive. And Moon…. she’s my superior, as you know. I care about her, and I regret my actions. We have had a complicated relationship, and… I.. I suppose even gods can feel guilt, can they not? My only wish is that she finds hope, or peace, or whatever she has been grasping for. I may deserve what I have to deal with now, but she certainly doesn’t. It’s never been her fault. I don’t care if she never forgives me for what I’ve done, all I need for her is to survive."

Seven Red Suns: "This is admittedly quite a difficult subject for me. Pebbles and I were once great friends, he looked up to me as a mentor and I listened to him and tried my best to support and understand him.... then I made horrible, horrible choices and I gave him information I absolutely shouldn't have, and I regret those decisions deeply. I should have known better, and now he, Moon, and potentially many others are hurt because of my actions. Sig and I are good friends, though I admit his teasing does somewhat bother me at times. I look to him frequently for guidance and to get more opinions on things. Despite his demeanor, he is extremely knowledgeable about various things like purposed organisms and his input on those subjects is very much appreciated. He has helped me a lot with answering questions and giving me ideas about what I can also do. My Messenger has become a very dear friend of mine. They're quite expressive and I enjoy communicating with them as best as I can, they have shared many stories of their travels with me and many things they have seen and done. It's quite nice to have someone to talk to since communications are decayed."

[shaxxophone]

There’s a really alarming trend in fanfic where people will write smut about gay men….but will make the man that they traditionally view as the bottom, trans.

Is it just me that feels really uncomfortable about this? Like, it feels both homophobic and transphobic? Just because you can babygirl-ify a man, doesn’t mean you should babyGIRL-ify him, right? Like….. just slapping on the title ‘trans’ just so you can write out your kinks feels… kind of ick, if it’s all you ever do, and you yourself are not a trans person or are not writing specifically about a trans character, cause i mean obviously a lot of fics will say ‘oh yeah X character is trans’ but does not touch on their transness at all, its obviously only about the body. And like, let alone the fact that it’s only ever the sub/bottom

I don’t wanna gatekeep porn, i am very much against gatekeeping what people write or read

But like. Kinda feels bad. Its not just me, right?

[yellowvixen]

"Don't look up sonic x shadow, you'll regret it." "Imagine the shock of kids looking up the new sonic game and finding sonadow." "Go look up sonic x shadow, I promise you'll find totally normal images >:)"

What is wrong. With all of you. Why is it a gotcha? Why is it a trick to get people to find sonadow fanart? Why is it bad for kids to find art of cartoon hedgehogs gay kissing? It's 2024, have we really not moved on from the "wow aren't sonic fans freaks for gay shipping their little cartoon animals" mindset? Come on. Let's put down the homophobia now

[butchrindou]

when i don’t see ran in outfits like these when she’s out of that sweater i feel like popping a blood vessel. She would not wear frilly skirts and stuff that’s cropped she wants to look expensive!!!!

[chemicalarospec]

you've heard of: aroacespec "is this person flirting with me" confusion, now get ready for: Does this person think I'm flirting with them (and also are they flirting "back" with me) because I accidentally bumped into them a lot?

[ambagel]

Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?

But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)

In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer

Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[unheavenlybody]

i wanna quit my job so bad but i like having money obviously i just gotta make it thru the holidays at least jesus christt. it shouldnt affect me so much but i hate it so much its not even hard but still draining

[malwarechips]

im an aroace glory truther. sorry but im right . glory wings of fire rainwing told me herself

[teddybeartoji]

whenever i'm abt to get overwhelmed by a sound toji just places his hands over my ears like proper earmuffs and ooh my god it helps so much it calms me down so fast i always just kind of melt into him