#it is so unfair that the hate crimes show makes me have feelings!

[greghatecrimes]

forever grateful that I was far too young to watch House in 2008 because I know I would have lost my damn mind if I had to watch House’s Head/Wilson’s Heart for the first time when it aired on live TV

[orcelito]

I haven't thought about aldnoah.zero for years but seeing your tags on the dumpster baby post made me think... yea let's bitch together!

lskjdflskdfjsldf yea honestly i havent watched that anime in like. So fucking long. basically since it first came out. it was honestly a very mid anime with bad character choices. but By God it had Slaine Troyard in it. season 2 completely fucked up his character and was awful and hypocritical towards him (him being the only one punished from the war despite others doing just as bad shit as him)(seriously i will ALWAYS be pissy about this)

and thus my lifelong grudge against aldnoah.zero. it's been a decade but By God i will never forgive them.

[igotanidea]

Despite everything: Damian Wayne x reader

part 1 : Family rules

part 2: A moment of weakness

***

Damian Wayne was not the one to get scared easily.

Of course not. He was Robin, after all, fighting crime alongside Batman nearly every night, beating the shit out of the villains that dreaded at the sound of his name (as for the last part, that was more like something he wanted to believe rather than truth).

But when across the school corridor he noticed Y/N, with her face flushed (prettily though he quickly discarded that thought), eyes gleaming and walking towards him like an enraged bull, he shuddered involuntarily. His older brother(s) had enough experience with girls to give him countless advice on the girls, but there was only one Damian actually listened to.

Do not mess with a girl. Furious woman is more dangerous than all Gotham’s criminals combined.

And as for now, it seemed like he was going to experience that first-handed.

Or not-

Given the fact that before she could reach him, the school principal appeared out of thin air grabbing her shoulder and guiding Y/N towards his office, not giving her the slightest chance to slap Damian’s face or tear all his hair out. All she was capable of doing, evading the watchful gaze of the most important school official was send him a murderous glance, to which he responded with a vengeful smirk and a shrug of shoulders enraging her even more.

“Mr. Wayne!” the principal turned around following the girl’s gaze and spotting his second least favorite student. From the get go he knew Y/N Y/L/N and Damian Wayne would be giving him constant headaches and causing troubles. Maybe it was a mistake on his part to accept them to the same class. “You’ll come with us as well.”

“I refuse to be in the same school as this *** let alone the same room!”

“Miss Y/L/N! Control your language or I’ll put you in detention!” the head teacher tried to put the situation to order, failing spectacularly as nearly every student was now recording the event.

“Exactly, Y/N. I don’t understand the sudden rage of emotions in you, you are acting so irrational and erratic.” Damian smirked, once again feeling the need to take control over the situation. “you need to calm down.”

“You little prick!” now she almost threw herself at him, not caring about the comments or making a scene. He was going to pay for everything he did.

“ENOUGH!” the principal yelled. In his own opinion, the tone and volume of voice made the glass in the windows shake but in reality no one cared about the outburst. The corridor  did not go quiet as expected, students did not put down their phones and Damian and Y/N did not freeze in the middle of their respective movements with shock written all over their faces. The principal sighed in the sense of ignominious failure. ‘You.” He pointed at Y/N “and you” he gave Damian a look “with me. Now. And I don’t want to hear a word.” He hissed.

“Couldn’t you have just asked?” Y/N raised an eyebrow

“Really, Sir, given your position, you should have developed better self-control.”

They exchanged glances (that were calm and friendly at first before quickly giving way to the hateful and threatening ones) and followed the principal to his den, officially known as study.

If only they knew what was going on inside each other head.

If only she knew, that under all that pose and cold exterior he was actually feeling a little guilty of getting her into this mess and getting the sudden urge to become even colder to not let her get burned even more due to becoming too attached. All because he didn’t regret the kiss they shared and actually wanted more.

If only he knew that below all that enragement, she actually felt like crying her heart out letting out all the unfairness and showing how hurt she felt because of what he did (allegedly), begging for an explanation like a broken, pathetic child.  All because she didn’t regret the kiss they shared and actually wanted more.

***

“This is simply outrageous behavior! Gotham Academy has always pride itself of raising its student in the understanding of social norms and rules of decency. And you two have now put that reputation to harm.”

“Harm?” she scoffed “this is Gotham’s school. What kind of reputation are we talking about here? Last week, we had to evacuate the classrooms because of the sudden leak of fear gas.” She put the fingers in the air mocking the quote that was used in an official statement “we have zero reputation.”

“Well- um…”

“Yes, precisely. And what kind of indecency do you have in your mind, sir?” Damian smirked “this was all a pose for the press, just to gather the attention to my father’s event. Besides, are you suggesting that it was more than just a kiss, prey tell something forbidden amongst teenagers?”he mocked.

“Well- um…”

“I cannot quite comprehend why exactly are we here.” She continued, crossing arms over her chest and leaning back on the chair with a daring face expression “Do you, Wayne?”

“Not in the slightest Y/L/N.”

“You two are-“

“We are what exactly?”

“Well… um-“

“Not to be mean but I think there’s nothing you can accuse as of” she smirked, feeling the surge of victory.

“Your behavior actually make me think it’s kind of convenient to you to bring attention to your two students, isn’t it. Sir?” Damian made the same action as Y/N and neither of them realized how similar it made them look.

“So, what kind of punishment will you impose upon us? Breaking wheel?”

“Don’t be stupid, y/l/n. I’m sure it’ll be nothing less than cangue.”

“Maybe gag to stop the flow of those meaningless words out of your mouth.”

“I’ll suggest burning on the pile for you witch.”

“Asshole.”

“Dumbass.”

They both smirked again their faces full of vengeance and then their eyes landed back on the face of the principal who seemed distressed and kind of desperate, not sure how to get out of this situation while keeping his face.

“So, sir?” she smiled innocently “what shall we expect as a punishment?”

“Do not keep us in the dark sir, we will gladly submit. Just try to think what my father might do if he finds out? Stop funding the school maybe?”

“Oh my God, you had to use the wealth argument! Low blow Wayne!” she rolled her eyes “maybe my father will stop organizing the students’ internship then huh?”

“I thought you were going bankrupt?” he mocked

“Will you shut up! Take your money and choke on them!”

They both rose from their feet standing mere inches from one another, threating to wage a war if the other did as much as blink in the wrong way.

“I hate you!”

“I hate you more!”

“You arrogant, selfish, ignorant, conceited prick!”

“You reckless, emotional, distracting, competitive freak!”

“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!” the principal finally reached the limits of his patience towards those two. It was impossible to fight two students, who were this dead set on making his life a living hell. And the truth was, that he couldn’t actually hold the kiss and the press against them. He had no legal or factual ground to interfere with students’ private life and if he did, either Y/N and Damian or worse – their fathers – or the worst -their lawyers would gladly remind him of that.

All there was left, was to hope that Wayne and F/L/N would have a talk with both of them respectively about fraternizing with the enemy.

“Get back to class. I can’t stand your faces, but I swear if something like that happens again –”

They were gone before the principal could even finish the sentence, showing him exactly how little respect he held in the school.

***

“that was fun.” She laughed wholeheartedly, for a second forgetting about all the negative feelings she was holding towards him after all the press incident and actually send him such a bright smile that made his legs tremble a little bit.

“I guess we played him well enough, huh?”

“I don’t think he was the only one who got played here.” she muttered picking up the pace not wanting to see, hear or think about Damian. All she wished was to go back to how things were before the gala, the photos, the press.

But he didn’t let her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around so she was facing him again.

“Let me go…” she said, but it came out weaker than expected

“I didn’t do it Y/L/N. I didn’t leak the photos.”

“Are you explaining yourself to me now?”

“You wish.”

“Then just let be me!” her voice echoed through the empty corridor and the door to the right creaked slightly. However before the teacher could spot the source of the noice Damian dragged her to the empty classroom putting a hand to her mouth.

“Will you shut up?!”

“Get your dirty hands of me!” she barely stopped herself from biting his hand.

“You are insane.”

“Huh! You think you’re normal with all that snooty, all-mighty behavior? We’re seventeen! We’re teenagers!”

“And that exclude restraints? Look-” he sighed running fingers through his hair. “You’re mad because now the whole school is abuzz with rumors, I get it, but I’m a part of it too. And I’m telling you I didn’t leak those photos! Think rationally – why would I want to be on tongues? Especially given the fact that it was you I kissed.”

The way he said it, like some sort of insult made her heart break. Not because she cared about Damian Wayne, obviously, but because he actually joined talking shit about her.

“I guess we both made a mistake then.” She hissed “we should get back to class.”

“No, wait! I didn’t mean it like that!” Damian muttered looking down, quite ashamed that even after years of leaving the League of Assassins’ and being raised by his father he still couldn’t quite comprehend basic human interactions sometimes.

“Then how?” she looked into his eyes.

And there it was again. The same wave of emotions he felt at the gala when he was holding her to his chest. The same feelings that coursed through his body when he kissed her away from the main event. He couldn’t quite decipher what it was, but that little voice inside his head (that sounded awfully like Grayson’s) was screaming at him to clear this thing out. To not let her go feeling like he just dismissed her, having zero regards towards her.

And it was weird. And right.

Weirdly right.

With heart almost beating out of his chest, feeling the air almost crackle with electricity, breath heavy and mind fogged he leaned slightly forward, not being fully in control of his actions. Forgetting the fact that they were in school and that they were supposed to be enemies. They were hostile for long enough and he was done.

For the first time in his young life he actually wanted someone to like him for him. Not because he was family (even if adopted), a relative of sort or a useful sidekick vigilante.

For the first time he felt the need to be needed as a human being, as a boy. He wanted her to give him that smile she did a few minutes ago when they left the principal’s office. He wanted to see her eyes shine the way they did at the gala, to feel her hug him and hold him as if she was feeling safe with him.

Despite everything.

So he leaned forward.

Slowly, hesitantly, not sure what to expect but ready for everything, gauging her reaction. Giving her time and space to back out, to run away, to call him names – unlike the way he was behaving in his Robin uniform.

She was not a villain.

She was –

Someone important.

And when she met him halfway, he melted.

Grabbing her tighter and letting the whole world disappear, focusing solely on that warmth he lacked through his entire life. Her scent, her hair tickling his face, her hand on his cheek.

So good. So right. So nice.

So terrifying.

Damian Wayne was --

***

--in love.

part 4: New rules

@gabriiiiiiii @6000-fandoms @jinviktor @atadoddinnit @celestair

[mintedwitcher]

I spent the last two days catching up on all the episodes of 911 that I've missed, and I need to say a few things. actually, a lot of things. this got long so I'm putting it under a cut.

8b is significantly better overall than 8a. the storylines, the pacing, the character interactions. it is significantly better in this half of the season. that being said:

I have mixed feelings about Eddie's SL. on the one hand, I'm proud of him for finally making a good parenting decision (putting his son first). on the other, I hate how it felt like he was essentially rewarded for the bare minimum. I also hate how he treated Buck, but that's a sidenote.

I didn't like Maddie's kidnapping arc. I hate that they made the villain a cheap, bad example of DID, when it would've been far more interesting for her to be entirely neurotypical. people with mental illness are more likely to be the victims of violent crime than the perpetrators of it, and this plot felt like a slap in the face to anyone with mental health concerns, especially with the addition of Maddie talking a man into suicide (even though it didn't really happen), and then slapping the suicide hotline on the end credits like that was going to do anything. I'm not even actively suicidal and Maddie's speech to the "kidnapper" was triggering as all hell for me. I can't imagine how much worse it was for people who are still fighting that battle. I do like that they didn't just let Maddie brush it all off like nothing happened, however I do think she still should've faced actual consequences for what she said on the phone. In season 2, Gloria got fired just for hanging up on people. Maddie talked a caller into killing himself. That should've had consequences.

Athena, for once, I have no complaints about. her storylines felt more grounded in reality in 8b, and there was significantly less of the 'vigilante cop' angle, which I'm definitely happy about. (I don't know or care what happened in the Dr Odyssey crossover, so I can't speak on that.) I liked her having a rookie, AND I like that the rookie faced consequences in-universe for what he did. I wish that was more common, but I'm still glad it happened, and I'm looking forward to s9 bringing in a new (hopefully better) rookie for Athena to train.

Ravi, no notes, he was amazing in every episode.

now for the Big One: Bobby.

I loved this arc. it felt real and serious in a way that 911 frankly hasn't been lately. Bobby dedicating himself to saving his team is so entirely in character. it's what he's always done, ever since we were first introduced to Bobby Nash. he has always and will always put his team and his family before himself, every single time, because the one time he didn't, he lost everything. this is a man who knows the agony of loss, the pain of guilt, and who will do whatever it takes to protect others from feeling the same thing. the fact that his death is an act of personal sacrifice - letting Chim take the antiviral, keeping silent about his own infection - is the only way he could possibly go out.

(I've seen a lot of theories about him still being alive, but I have to disagree, vehemently. this is not a sci-fi show, this is not Supernatural. characters who die in 911 stay dead, even if the memory of them doesn't.)

showcasing Athena and Chim's grief in the funeral episode was an amazing choice. mirroring Athena's grief with Leah, mirroring both women's denial, it was a fantastic narrative decision, and it works so well. Leah couldn't let go of Micah, Athena couldn't let go of Bobby. they were both prolonging and delaying their grief, and they were only finally able to put down that weight when they accepted that their loved ones were truly gone. when they accepted the permanence of it.

and Chimney - the guy who stays level-headed, the guy who doesn't get angry, not really, not often - being the one full of rage at Bobby's death was so important. grief is painful, and the unfairness of it is infuriating. and for Chim to be the one to express that, I think, was the best choice they could've made. it would've been too easy to give anger to Eddie, or Buck, but giving it to Chim felt more real. because yeah, out of all of them, Chim has arguably the most reason to be angry. Bobby lied to him, to all of them, and while it did save Chim's life, it still hurts, because what if... you know? what if there was another way, what if there was a way to buy time, what if there was something he could do. Chim is a paramedic, his entire life revolves around healing people, keeping them alive. watching Bobby go out like that would've felt like a failing on Chim's part, like he didn't do enough, like he wasn't good enough. so yeah, Chim being angry was the perfect choice.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the grief is handled for Ravi, Hen, Eddie, and Buck in the next two episodes. if they keep the same tempo as this one, I'm guessing we'll get to focus on two mains per ep, with some scenes to show how the others are coping in the meantime.

I saw someone on here theorise that the show is essentially using the characters to personify the stages of grief, so it's definitely going to be interesting to see who takes which role in the next two episodes. I feel like Ravi and Eddie are both going to be 'bargaining' - they both feel a measure of personal responsibility, as if they could've 'done more', we saw glimpses of it already in e16. I think Hen will be 'acceptance'. she went back to work a week early to be there for her team.

and so that leaves 'depression' for Buck, which I think is very accurate. he's holding on for now, for everyone else, but I think the more he pushes it down, the worse it's going to be, and the more numb he's going to become. out of everyone in the 118, Buck takes their losses the hardest. he cares so much, and with so much of himself, that he just can't help it. he feels every single loss like a personal one, and this might be the most personal loss he's ever endured. Bobby was like a father to him, and he was the one who had to watch, who had to relay the news, who had to walk away and let Bobby die. that is going to break him, I think.

I can't wait to see how it goes down for the next two episodes. I've been saying for months that 911 needs to shake things up if they want to stay afloat, and the only options for Bobby going forward were always going to be death or retirement. I'm sad that he's gone, and I'll miss Bobby all the time going forward, but I am so excited to see what new storylines can come from this change.

I know not everyone is going to agree with me, so I'm asking now, if you want to add your opinions here, go ahead, but be civil about it. I'm not looking for discourse. any hate will be deleted and blocked on sight. my asks are currently open if anyone wants to discuss the show there.

[xmads-omensx]

Word Count: 1,639

Pairing: Best friend! Noah Sebastian X Reader

Content Warnings: swearing, arguments, Noah is bad at feelings and so is Y/N

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lacy1986 @collidewiththesav @kenjipepsi1 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @chey-h @tosoundlessdarkistare @thisbicc @fadingangelwisp

Thanks @alwaysfightforwhoyouare for the idea, and sorry it took me so long to actually write since we were talking about this before New Years lmao.

Extra inspo:

NOAH POV

She was beautiful.

I found myself stealing glances at her whenever I could. It was impossible not to. Even when I didn’t intend to, my eyes always found her.

No matter what room I walked into, I always sought her out.

Her laugher. Her smile. Her eyes. Her.

Y/N had been my best friend, besides Nicholas of course, for as long as I could remember. Granted, we only met when we had moved to California, but we clicked instantly.

Two peas in a pod. Partners in crime. Ride or die.

That was us.

But I was desperate for more.

I wanted to hold her hand. Hold her. Kiss her. Tell I loved her. Take her to bed. Be with her.

But it could never happen. She had a boyfriend and I was just her best friend. She would never see me as anything more than that.

I buried those feelings as deep as I possibly could. I dated and saw other people as often as I could to try and move on, but nothing worked. No matter who I went out with, my mind was always stuck on Y/N.

Every time I saw her with Chris, my heart broke a little bit more. I knew this was unfair, since she had no idea how I felt about her and it wasn’t her fault she was happy with someone else, but part of me resented her for being happy with someone else.

What could he give her that I couldn’t?

I knew every single detail about her. I could even tell you how many freckles decorated her face if you asked me to.

But it wasn’t enough.

She had him, and I had Bad Omens.

“Y/N and Chris are fighting again.” Matt sighed, taking his seat in the studio.

They had been fighting a lot recently. He had been going out more often with his friends, leaving Y/N at home. She hated being alone.

“Same thing again?” Jolly asked.

“Yep.” Matt sighed again.

Silence encased the studio. None of us particularly liked Chris, some for more selfish reasons than others, but none of us wanted to stop Y/N from being happy.

“I’ve got some lyrics that I’ve been working on.” I spoke up, breaking the silence.

“Can we have a look?” Jolly asked, so I handed him my highly precious notebook that I used for songwriting.

His eyes darted over the pages. if he knew what the song was about, he didn’t let on anything.

“This is good shit, Noah.” He said, smiling genuinely.

I had been working on the song for a while now, but I never had the courage to show anyone else the song yet.

It was by far my favourite song that I had ever written.

“Do you think it would be okay for the new record?” I asked, chewing the skin on my thumb anxiously.

“I think it’s perfect for the new record dude.” Jolly said, grinning widely.

“Great.” I said with a sigh of relief.

We spent most of the day recording the new song, working in silence for the most part as we seemed to be working in unison, as one.

The lyrics flew out of me so easily, it was like breathing.

Verse after verse, the melody came naturally.

It didn’t matter if anyone knew what the song was about, as long as she got to hear it.

Y/N POV

Chris and I never had a great relationship.

It wasn’t toxic or anything, we just didn’t love eachother, but were determined to make it work.

The honeymoon phase was relatively short, only lasting the first two months of our relationship.

Out fights consisted of the same common denominators every single time. His partying and my friendship with Noah.

Chris hated Noah with a burning passion. In fact, Chris was convinced that Noah was in love with me, which would be impossible because how could someone like Noah be in love with someone like me?

Noah was a genuine, kind soul, and I was often labelled a vindictive bitch.

He would have to be desperate for human connection if he fell in love with me.

“Seriously, I don’t understand why you’re friends with him, Y/N, he clearly just wants to get in your pants.” Chris sighed, exasperated at my apparent obliviousness to Noah’s alleged feelings for me.

“Because he’s my best friend, and no, he doesn’t want to get in my pants. I think I’d know if he did.” I replied, sick of this argument going round in circles.

“Y/N, please listen to me. He isn’t your friend. He just wants to use you to get off. He likes the power he has over you.” Chris argued back, raising his voice.

“Stop lying about it, I’m not going to believe you.” I yelled. “This is so fucking dumb, Chris, all we ever do is go around in circles until we either get bored of the argument and go cool off somewhere or we just end up fucking!”

“Who’s fault is it that we keep running in circles like this?” Chris snarled. “You’re the one who is still hanging around that jackass.”

“Oh my god! When will you realise that Noah is not the problem here, you are!” I yelled.

“Then how about I leave and make your life easier?” Chris shouted.

“Good! Get the fuck out of my house!” I yelled in reply, gesturing towards the door.

He simply turned around and left. Just like that.

The silence that filled the house wasn’t unpleasant like I thought it would be, but instead it was peaceful and I welcomed it with open arms.

Finally, I had enough space to think. To breathe. To exist without him screaming down my ear about Noah, and without me interrogating him about him going out with his friends into the very early hours of the morning.

But after a few hours of this new silence, the house became almost too silent. Too cold. Too big.

I needed the space to be smaller again.

With my mind in autopilot, I found myself climbing into the drivers side of my car and driving over to Noah’s house, desperate for comfort and some semblance of crowdedness.

Noah’s front door opened before you had even rung the bell.

“Hey, you okay? Matt had us worried about you.” Noah gushed, pulling me into a hug.

“Yeah just wanted to hang out for a bit. It’s too quiet at my place.” I explained with a shrug.

“Is Chris out again?”  Noah asked as we walked into his house.

“Oh, we broke up like two hours ago.” I said with a laugh, but I couldn’t tell if it was a fake laugh or not.

“Shit are you okay?” Noah asked, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Yeah. I mean I think so.” I said with a shrug.

“Y/N, you’re crying.” Noah whispered, his voice significantly more gentle than it had been previously as he cupped my cheek and wiped a stray tear away from my face.

“No, really I’m okay.” I said, unsure as to why I was crying.

“Come here.” Noah whispered, pulling me into a tight hug.

I wasn’t sure what it was about hugging Noah made me feel so emotional, but I couldn’t control the damn that burst, letting all of my pent up frustrations at Chris gush out.

The more I cried, the clearer the real reason for my tears became. I was in love with Noah.

NOAH POV

I gently rubbed Y/N’s back as I held her close to my chest, hoping to ease her pain as much as I could.

“Come with me, I want to show you something.” I whispered, guiding her into the studio before sitting her down on the small sofa we had in there for moments like these.

She curled up in her usual spot with her knees pulled up to her chest.

I switched on the computer monitor and selected the audio file that I wanted.

Besides the purple LED lights, that were Y/N’s favourite, the monitor was the only thing that illuminated the otherwise empty room.

The soft melody of the acoustic demo that we had recorded earlier that morning filled the air as I sat next to Y/N on the sofa and pulling her into my arms. She instantly snuggled closer into my chest as if she were hiding from something and was seeking comfort.

She was my safe space and I was hers.

The lyrics began to take over the melody as I rocked Y/N back and forth in my arms.

There are scars that never ever show themselves

You get when you’re left alone too long in Hell

I was sick and tired of leaving Y/N to live her life without me by her side. I was desperate to be able to call her mine. To hold her hand as we walked to our favourite coffee shop. To kiss her cheek and tell her she looked beautiful as she got ready to go out. To be able to hold her as we drifted off to sleep in our bed.

I was desperate for HER.

I began to sing the lyrics to her, causing her to look up into my eyes as I looked down into hers.

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“Noah.” She murmured.

“Yes, Y/N.” I whispered in reply.

“I love you.” She whispered.

I answered her by leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. Just enough to tell her exactly how I felt.

“Yours?” She asked after we pulled away.

“Mine.” I replied with a smile.

“Forever?”

“Yes, Y/N, mine forever.”

And if you're there to catch me when I fall Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

˗ˏˋ ♬⋆.˚ ― CALLUM ♪⋆

★ Daylight - David Kushner there's darkness in the distance // from the way that i've been livin' // but i know i can't resist it // oh, i love it and i hate it at the same time // you and i drink the poison from the same vine

Bubble Gum - Clairo sorry i didn't kiss you // but it's obvious i wanted to ... i'd do anything for you // but would you do that for me, too?

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls and i don't want the world to see me // 'cause i don't think that they'd understand // when everything's made to be broken // i just want you to know who i am

★ Don't Blame Me - Taylor Swift don't blame me, love made me crazy // if it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right // lord, save me, my drug is my baby // i'll be usin' for the rest of my life

Dark Red - Steve Lacy something bad is 'bout to happen to me // why i feel this way, i don't know maybe // i think of her so much, it drives me crazy // i just don't want her to leave me

The Cut That Always Bleeds - Conan Gray but even though you're killing me // i, i need you like the air i breathe // i need, i need you more than me // i need you more than anything

★ New Person, Same Old Mistakes - Tame Impala or see it from this way 'round // feeling it overtake // all that i used to hate // one by one, every trait // i tried, but it's way too late // all the signs i don't read // two sides of me can't agree // will i be in too deep? // going with what i always longed for // feel like a brand-new person // but you'll make the same old mistakes

Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms but you're a killer and i'm your best friend // think it's unfair, your situation // you say i'm changing // sorry i didn't know i had to stay the same // can we talk about this later? // your voice is driving me, driving me insane

Happy Life - Roland Faunte holy dancer, come and find me // in the darkness where i've been hiding // oh, you are my answer, my one and only

★ i am not who i was - Chance Peña so if i fly too far // will i still have a place inside your heart? // and when you see what i've become // will you love me for who i am, not who i was?

Mr. Loverman - Ricky Montgomery i'm reeling in my brain again // before it can get back to you // oh, what am i supposed to do without you? // i'm Mr. Loverman // and i miss my lover, man 

right where you left me - Taylor Swifr i cause no harm, mind my business // if our love died young, i can't bear witness // and it's been so long // but if you ever think you got it wrong // i'm right where you left me

★ Pigeon - Cavetown scaly little friend's got my backup // didn't give me time to say goodbye in the way that i wanted to // so honey, close your eyes and stay like you're supposed to do

Bad Luck - BoyWithUke i got 24 minutes to finish all of my sentences // to be dependent to medicine while i saw you running away // i said okay to myself // it'd be better for health if i turn around and look the other way

Would've, Could've, Should've - Taylor Swift god rest my soul, i miss who i used to be // the tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind // i regret you all the time // i can't let this go, i fight with you in my sleep // the wound won't close, i keep on waiting for a sign // i regret you all the time

CHIHIRO - Billie Eilish i know you said before you can't cope with any more // you told me it was war, said you'd show me what's in store ... wringing my hands in my lap // and they tell me it's all been a trap // and you don't know if you'll make it back // i said, "no, don't say that"

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - Taylor Swift i can hold my breath // i've been doing it since he left

Partner in Crime - Madilyn Mei you're slowly killing me // taking your time // you're slowly killing me // and yet i don't mind (you were never meant to win) // you're slowly killing me // but please take your time

★ A Pearl - Mitski it's just that i fell in love with a war // nobody told me it ended // and it left a pearl in my head // and i roll it around every night // just to watch it glow

The Brink - Madilyn Mei i'm standing on the brink of something // new that i want, i know that it's almost mine // yet something tells me i'll // somehow always be // standing on the brink of something new

Easier - BoyWithUke i should've loved you better // i wish i could have been there // i wish we never met, so maybe then i wouldn't see you everywhere ... waking up at night, ripping out my hair // i'm used to having fights, used to hurting everybody that i care for

the lakes - Taylor Swift take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die ... i'm setting off, but not without my muse // no, not without you

October Passed Me By - girl in red i keep the letters that you wrote in a secret place // every now and then, i go down memory lane // October passed me by just like any month // but i still think of the times you took the breath out of my lungs // you don't have to run

★ Twin Size Mattress - The Front Bottoms this is for the snakes and the people they bite // for the friends i've made, for the sleepless nights // for the warning signs i've completely ignored // there's an amount to take, reasons to take more

Strawberry - Addison Grace i'd give you more of what i don't have // you already know, you'd never ask for it // how does it feel? // how does it feel to be so...?

Love Letter From The Sea to The Shore - Delaney Bailey 'cause you hold in my tide // i would die a thousand times // just to see you in another life

★ From Eden - Hozier honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago // idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword // innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, i should know // i slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

[allwormdiet]

Interlude 2

Ahh, it's time for Brockton Bay's healthiest family to debut

Flight is so cool. Flight without having to get cold or wet or getting pelted by bugs is outright unfair.

Me, utterly charmed: oh my god she's a fucking NERD

And she's a nerd who's scaring the piss out of Nazis, who would hate this girl?

Which, oh yeah, the Nazis run around in Brockton Bay, bet those guys will never sour my mood

Glory Girl's got a whole bunch of powers, huh. Can't wait to get into the exact circumstances of how she got really cool abilities as an inadequate consolation prize for whatever hell she had to endure

I'm gonna be real, the description of this throw made me flinch a little bit. Like he's a Nazi so fuck him, but I hope it doesn't turn out that Victoria is this blase about all her targets

...So if the only spines she ever breaks are Nazi spines, then I'll give Glory Girl every pass she ever asks for, but if she ever wraps a weed dealer's skeleton around a lamppost I'm going to feel a liiiiiittle more concerned.

Everything else aside, this is fucking hilarious

So these two are at the epicenter of, as far as I can tell, one of the most divisive subjects in this fandom? With the others mostly seeming to be variations on "did such-and-such character have full moral justification to do actual for-real crimes against humanity." Let's see where this takes us

I feel a little bad immediately for the contrasts between Vicky and Amy. Five bucks says it's gonna turn out Amy is like the only brunette in the whole family, and while everyone else gets to show off a little she's dressed in a sackcloth. It's very white mage, but I don't know if she even knows what a white mage is.

Also it's a minor detail in the grand scheme of things but I fear for her hair's health if it's actively being described as frizzy

So apparently between ragdolling a Nazi like it's Garrys Mod and this passage, people have chosen to interpret Victoria Dallon as a monster. I can see how they'd be mistaken on this because technically speaking they're close: she's a teenager. For a lot of people the worst version of ourselves is one that exists somewhere between the ages of twelve and twenty, don't ask me how I know that one. The guilt trip here is definitely manipulative, but so is every kid who's trying to play whatever card they have to dodge repercussions for their fuckups. This is a kid, not a master manipulator who twists hearts around in her fingers like rings. This is normal behavior within an abnormal context.

According to Wikipedia, "foreshadowing is a narrative device in which a storyteller gives an advance hint of what is to come later in the story. Foreshadowing often appears at the beginning of a story, and it helps develop or subvert the audience's expectations about upcoming events."

Fuck Nazis, and I'm gonna get in a preemptive "fuck Coil" while I'm at it

Hmm. So here we get the Docks from a third perspective (albeit a Nazi's, so let's take it with a grain of salt), and this time it's presented as something of material value. I wonder how much of that is due to the neighborhood being low-priority for the police and Protectorate, if they decided it's not worth policing if it's not going to recover any time soon.

It's also interesting seeing which names are being thrown around with the possibility of fighting over the territory. I know Squealer ends up part of the Merchants and they end up being a decent power in their own right, but I don't know if any of the others would have shown an interest in fighting for territory. I got the impression that Uber and Leet are more like unfunny and violent pranksters than anything, Circus apparently operates on their own which doesn't seem like how you'd make dreams of conquest come true, the Undersiders are sticking with the theft shtick at this point, and I don't know shit about Trainwreck or Stain. Wonder how much of this is legit speculation, how much of it is the E88 leadership blowing smoke for their followers, and how much of it is this specific guy blowing smoke.

Yeah, see, they're good kids. For now.

Current Thoughts

To pull back on the frame a little, I think this interlude was written with two goals: first and most obvious is to get us in the head of another young cape, a for-real hero this time, who will be featuring in future events to some extend, but then beyond that it's reflecting the rippling consequences of Taylor's actions. Taking down Lung was a good deed, it saved lives and weakened a major gang within the city, but now others are rushing in to take advantage of this and it could cause more harm than was prevented in Arc 1. Taylor couldn't have known these repercussions were coming, she's a high school sophomore who'd only engaged with the cape community in any way after she'd already knocked the bastard over, and she probably still would have made the play to take Lung down and save the Undersiders even knowing that there might be increased gang violence. She's big on action and she's big on pushing through to solve the problem, repercussions dealt with later, but I suspect that everything is going to ripple out in this same way until the whole city starts shaking with it.

Anyway, more to the first point, I like Victoria, she took very little time to endear herself to me and I'm not going to feel so awful about her bone-breaking habits as long as she keeps it to the Nazis

I haven't seen enough of Amy to have a full read on her yet, and I haven't gotten into her head to know how she thinks or feels, but for now I'm pretty solidly on sympathy/pity for her. I'd say something like "we'll see where she takes it from here" but I kinda already know that one

Hoo, boy. Arc 2 done with. 18 chapters in four days? That's not bad. I'm gonna stretch my legs and think for a bit and then I'll give my two cents on the whole of Insinuation.

[waitmyturtles]

hello! I hope you are having a good day :) I just read your blog piece about tharntype, thank you for writing it! I want to offer a few complicating thoughts, as a queer person myself:

-in the twittersphere, I actually know a lot of other queer people (and, specifically, queer men) who like tharntype in a kink way. as in, the parts that make it "problematic" are the parts that are hot. so this "reading" of TT (lol) sees it as erotic art intended to arouse, rather than offer "representation" or change the public's mind in some way. so from this perspective, the target audience is anyone who finds the erotic story enjoyable, rather than say, random 14 year olds who need to be convinced gay people are human.

-more on the above: gay people aren't unproblematic. like, we do engage in all the things that you said were problematic stereotypes included in tharntype. many gay men are homophobic in the exact way type is, before they admit it to themselves. that's a whole genre of gay porn, because it's such a common part of the gay experience that it enters sexual fantasy frequently! gay people call each other slurs all the time, too (not saying it's right for anyone to be spoken to like type did, I'm just saying, for a lot of us there's a lot of humor and love there when it's spoken kindly). many gay men ARE promiscuous (not all, obviously, but many) and the way in which they are is shaped by their gayness, and while straight world might think that's bad, other gay people might not see it as such. and I very much get how that's very inconvenient when one is trying to argue that gay people aren't sex perverts (so we can have rights) but sometimes what ends up happening is that people who ARE sex perverts (I mean this in a positive way) get told that their lives don't matter, or that even depicting them in fiction "makes you all look bad." it's the usual assimilation problem :/

-I really really really recommend diary of tootsies for a show by gay people for gay and straight people. it's one of my all-time favorite gay dramas, and it might elaborate more on what I'm saying above. it's a gay comedy that's actually executed well.

-it's actually not true that yaoi has only ever been dominated by cishet women! I love this website for more info on how men and nonbinary people have been involved in yaoi historically https://www.fujoshi.info/ . totally true that treating real people like dolls is gross to do in real life, but I don't think women writing yaoi have done that, on the whole, and I certainly don't think the existence of yaoi does that automatically. and I think it's a case of unfair maligning of asian women to say that it does.

-I don't think tharntype is a "good" show. nothing like, say, moonlight chicken (as an example of a show that I think is very good). it's very poorly executed in places. it's trashy. the way it's been marketed, with tharn and type as like, political gay rep, is bizarre. but it's a cheap, trashy snack, a gay bodice ripper type of story, and so I don't think that's a hate crime, or a failing of lgbt people, on the whole.

I know as an ally it is always difficult when there is disagreement in the group you are trying to be an ally to regarding what is acceptable/offensive, but I feel the best thing to do is always to come to a personal opinion oneself that aligns with one's own moral values, after hearing from differing perspectives within that group. So I've provided my own perspective here, which may be totally different than other people you've heard from or your own, and that's okay too! again, hope you have a great day and thanks for your time :)

ANONYMOUS, COME 'ERE FOR A HUG, YOU! THANK YOU for sharing your perspective.

Yes, this show and the related topics are unbelievably difficult for me to write on as an ally. I really appreciate your understanding of the gray areas all around this, and with the help of a number of Tumblr friends, I tried to dive into and balance as much of the gray areas of the topic of TT as much as possible.

I really appreciate the further history on yaoi's origins, and would like to tag some folks to take a look and offer their thoughts -- and, I do not take corrections personally AT ALL, I LOVE LOVE the learning and constructive criticism (that's a major point of the OGMMTVC!), so I WILL be happy to edit any corrections into my posts if need be (cc @nieves-de-sugui, @miscellar, @lurkingshan and anyone else who knows more about yaoi than I do).

I'm getting one or two nasty comments here and there, but by and large, the feedback today on the post has been thought-provoking and eye-opening. I love hearing and reading all of it.

[fanfic-inator795]

I've talked a lot on here about my favorite characters, but what about some of my LEAST favorite characters?

Honestly, I don't have too many characters that I just hate with a burning passion or anything like that... but there are def characters that truly get under my skin. So let's have some fun and rant for a bit, shall we? Starting with least hated to most:

Sadie Miller (Steven Universe): Gonna be honest, a big reason why I dislike this character is because of her voice. No disrespect to Kate Micucci, but MAN her voice is just so grating to me personally (tbf, I feel the same way about Greg Cipes). As for the character herself, she's just incredibly whiny and annoying imo. I couldn't really relate to her frustrations with her mother, and that whole mess with her and Lars was just... yeah. Still can't really overlook the whole Stranded Island incident. Say what you will about how terrible Lars can be, but at least Lars can be funny and interesting sometimes. I just don't care for Sadie at all.

Mo Morrison (Lightyear): Laying out my biases here, I really don't like Lightyear in general, it's a very frustrating and agitating film to me personally, I could honestly rant about that movie for hours. But beyond the story/plot issues, Mo is just a very annoying character to me. They try SO hard to push him to be the comedy relief, and it just does not work. Then, when they try to push him as the team screw-up, they push too hard and just make him frustrating to watch since he literally can't do anything right and doesn't get a win until the payoff with the stupid spacesuit pen. Literally every scene with him just ends up making me go "goddamn it, Mo, why are you even here??"

Mr. Herriman (Foster's Home): As a kid who was a big fan of Frankie growing up, it shouldn't be surprising just how much I hate this rabbit. I think what really gets me is how callous and unfair he can be, with stuff like "Imposters Home for uh Make-em-up Pals", "Crime After Crime" and "Setting a President" showing him at his absolute worst. An all-around VERY frustrating and unsympathetic character to me, worse so than Bloo or any of the show's actual villains. Honestly, it makes me sad that we don't get to see more of his softer side - i.e. the life-long friendship he has with Madame Foster/the stuff that makes Madame Foster love him - as that easily could have saved his character. But for the most part, he just comes off as a huge jerk.

Stickler (The Cuphead Show): Similarly to Herriman, I think I just get incredibly annoyed with characters who put rules and procedure above everything else. What makes Stickler worse though is the voice they gave him, as while it's kinda funny in his first couple appearances, by season 3 I'm cringing just as much as Devil does whenever he pops up. They also amp up his jerkiness and pushiness in the later episodes - and while I get WHY they need to, given how distracted Devil gets, it's still a tad annoying imo.

Dr. Owen Hunt (Grey's Anatomy): Literally my least favorite character EVER. This guy... he really is just the WORST. And yes, I know there are in-universe reasons for how he acts, but when he continues being a shitty person to his wives and others, I stop caring about those reasons. He's a huge hypocrite on most things, has a 'my way is always right'/'My way or the highway' mentality, and he's just such a baby whenever he doesn't get his way or when he has to face consequences. YES, I KNOW, on Grey's pretty much everyone is a shitty person in some way because it's a dramatic medical soap opera and they need drama, but Owen really does just get under my skin the most with how stubborn and 'holier than thou' he acts a lot of the time.

...That being said, if any of my followers actually like these characters, no disrespect to you. In fact, I'd love to know WHY you like these characters, as perhaps I can get a new perspective on them.

[hello-nichya-here]

Thank you for being sympathetic to Alicent and viewing her situation with actual nuance and understanding

I'm proship as they come but the way the majority of the HOTD fandom talks about her make me so deeply uncomfortable with how casually cruel and lacking of sympathy they are. Like yeah she's a fictional character, but yeesh, their hatred of her is so eerily close to actual IRL misogyny. It's one of the very few times when fictional discussion is crossing the reality line for me

Oh, it has absolutely turned into real life misogyny - there's a ton of idiots online threatening to do all kinds of vile thing to the actress because she dared to comit the crime of playing a character they don't like.

And I meant it, even as someone who is very firmly Team Black, the Greens are interesting, compelling, complicated characters that are fun to watch, so even when I'm pissed at one of them is a "love to hate" kind of situation, because they're still being entertaining.

And again, Alicent was objectively screwed over the entire show, by her father, her husband, and by her society in general. Did she sometimes make things worse for herself or hurt other characters who didn't deserve it? Yes. But so did Rhaenyra, Daemon, Viserys, Aegon, Aemond, etc. The whole point of that story is practically nobody stays fully innocent when there's a full on war going on, and EVERYONE becomes a victim of the circumstances in said war.

I might want Rhaenyra to be queen, but it IS objectively unfair how Alicent was raised to think her duty was to marry whoever her father picked for her and give her husband male heirs to inherit all he had, and she did that without complaining for the longest time - and then her husband not only doesn't want her children to inherit, but he also has the nerve to call his child of a previous marriage his ONLY child.

I would not blame her one bit if she started throwing stuff at Viserys while screaming "Then why the fuck did you marry me and make me have kids with you for? The fuck was that about?" Hell, she could snap one day give Viserys too much medicine to kill him once and for all, I'd say she was fully justified (and in the truly pitiful state he was in, he might actually thank her fo it).

It really is no surprise that, when Rhaenyra makes a toast in Alicent's honor, thanking her for all the devotion she offered to her father through the years, caring for him as his health worsens, it led to the ONLY time adult!Alicent says she believes Rhaenyra would be a good queen. It's the first time in YEARS anyone has thought of everything she was put through, everything she had to sacrifice for the sake of other people who didn't even deserve it - and so it becomes the first, and sadly last, time she sees eye-to-eye with her former friend, and recognizes that Rhaenyra's situation of "You were named heir then your father went and got you two brothers despite knowing that would likely cost you the throne" is also not fair.

Otto and Viserys are to blame for all this misery for everyone in both sides of the conflict (except maybe Daemon's, to some extent at least) - Otto for using his own daughter and grandkids as pawns in the Game Of Thrones, and Viserys for being a pushover that lets himself be manipulated AND uses "I'm just a sick, fragile old man mourning my beloved wife that I murdered" as excuse to justify remarrying and causing a ton of trouble for everyone just so he has someone by his side (and not even appreciating said person) and doesn't feel lonely.

Alicent's biggest sin was not realizing she should not have put up with this bullshit - but how could she considering how young she was when it all happened and the way she was raised to think she had to obey her father and husband no matter what?

[angelhummel]

okay so in honor of pride month, i have something i wanna get off my chest for real. sorry if this is super long

I have a tendency to go outside of tumblr spaces when looking at glee content — something i frequently regret. but in my time in those spaces, i often the most delusional take ever. it is basically, “kurt was always kinda pushy towards finn. so did he actually DESERVE to be called a slur??? 🤔🤔🤔 let’s discuss.” this shit boils my blood to no end and while it’s obvious why, i feel the incessant need to defend my boy kurt at all costs.

for one, he wasn’t any more pushy than any other character in the show. i mean for god’s sake, rachel quite literally THREW herself at finn as early as the first episode and i guess that’s fine??? what kurt did was virtually no different bc all the characters do weird, out of pocket shit throughout the show. it really only bothered finn bc kurt is a boy and finn is OVERLY bothered by the prospect of a boy having a crush on him. (more specifically that its kurt — he just simply dislikes kurt being attracted potentially straight guys. thats why he took so much issue to kurt singing with sam. it’s always been about his personal issues with kurt)

moving on to the actual scene in question, so much of what flop accused kurt of was grossly unfair to him. like he says something along the lines of “im scared to even take a shower when youre around,” implying that kurt is some ‘predatory gay’. which is ironic, bc we learn from kurt himself that he never showered after gym JUST to avoid be labelled as something like that. at no point did kurt’s advances move towards remotely ANYTHING sexual in nature, finn just instead assumed that of him

finally, i do believe that flop WANTED to call kurt a slur. he knew that kurt wouldnt call him out for it and you can tell from his tone that that had been building up inside of him for awhile. he wanted something that would push kurt away/scare him. he just went for the cruelest method possible in the moment.

so all this was to basically say that flop hudson sucks and that kurt did not deserve any of the shit that he endured. he was pretty much taught by his peers that it is inappropriate and unacceptable for him to have the same wants and desires that literally any teenager would have simply bc he was gay.

thank you for tuning into my rant. this has been stewing for awhile lmao

lmao yesterday i saw a gifset where cory as finn was doing some good fun acting and i stared at him for like a minute going "if i focus on the cory of it all, can i trick myself into liking finn even a little bit?"

the answer was already no, but if it hadn't been, this ask wouldve set me straight. thank you <3

i've definitely talked about that before tho bc omg. finn has the nerve to call anyone else pushy. i know its not like it'd happened in the show already but. this is the boy setting up a whole kissing booth to manipulate quinn into kissing him aksljfsdlk. or the way he got drunk at the wedding reception in s4 and was hounding rachel. that literally gives me the heebie jeebies lmao sorry to be dramatic about it but i hate it

and god yeah it just breaks my heart bc we know that kurt is always walking on eggshells around these people anyway. and literally 2x04 has become one of my least favorite episodes bc of how hard it is to watch as a kurt stan lmao. sorry it has like two iconic songs but finchel are so fucking manipulative and awful and i've had several rants about this episode before aljsfdlks but basically boils down to them literally making kurt feel like he's committing a crime by asking sam to sing a duet with him and isolating him to an unhealthy degree

and then wanna act all :O four eps later when kurt is like "im getting tf out of here to go to school with people who are nice to me" aslkfdslfjsd

anyway literally just search "2x04 anti finn" on my blog and you will find more posts than you would ever care to read lmao

[lunar-system]

izzy thoughts

i didn't feel at all the death was accidental or without a cause. izzy was the most himself when he told ricky to go fuck himself and defended the pirate way of life without a regard for his own personal safety. he was targeted by ricky's gun because he so vocally and ferociously stood up for what he believed in

izzy dying because he stood up to what he believes in FEELS BAD because it IS BAD in the show's actual universe as well. He died to what is the show's equivalent of homophobia, he got hate-crimed for his pirate life style, ricky targeted him because he stood up for himself and his people – that is horrible! for us and for the characters! in the actual story! it was a sad and unfair way to go! and ricky is a villain who did a horrible thing to a character we love! it hurts! gaahhh!

what hurts in real life is that we were under the assumption that there would not be hate-crime equivalent things in the show. it was a safe show for many. so yeah, of course it's a shock. the assumption is that if someone does something racist or homophobic etc in this show, they get punished right away and laughed at. but this time the bad guy actually killed someone. the violence was real. izzy hands still didn't operate under the muppet rule set. real world violence rules applied to him this one time.

why was this wound deadly when no other was? because this show decides the stakes and accuracies on a case by case basis. right now it wanted it to count. eternal arguments can be had about if that was the right choice or not.

yes, it felt kinda unfair that the show trained us not to fear death. ed practically died earlier this season, and he was fine. it was a weird surprise that for izzy the death was permanent. well. unless season 3 proves us otherwise. a long con. we'll see.

the fact that djenkins happens to be mostly on the same page with fandom, i think that's a happy accident. remember that he was surprised that people didn't dare to believe ed/stede was happening? he didn't know the fandom's long history with queerbaiting. he was just writing his show. it makes sense he would not be up to date with the fandom style politics of that you should not kill a character who is a strong symbol for something in the real world. sounds to me like it was a similar surprise than the queerbaiting one. earlier he happened to play with fandom rules, but he doesn't really know there are that much rules at all. now he happened to go against one rule, just like he happened to go by the rules earlier. he writes the kinda fanfic he likes. and right now he liked the weight that an actual character death has. unfortunately in tv shows there are no tags "major character death" to soften the punch.

could he have predicted how massively popular izzy became with his new added arc? i'm not sure. To some degree you can try to predict the impact your writing has in the real world, but you can't really control how your work is received. with the release of s2 i saw it in real time, the weight that izzy had and the importance of him for many. maybe it was a surprise that the redemption arc was that effective. and tv shows are really, reaaaally slow to make. you have to stick with a decision you have made a long time ago, unless you have ridiculous amounts of money to throw around for reshoots. And once a season is airing, it is absolutely too late to start changing anything. Djenkis wanted an impactful death, and he ended up with a bit TOO impactful one. There's no changing it, I personally don't see a point with fighting it, it happened, it was written, shot, edited, colour graded, composed, produced with care and set in stone a long time ago, and now we work with what we have. Maybe i'm just not confrontational, but I was given this, it's what I have, so I'll find a way to roll with it. Maybe I'll use a bit of fiction to cover the trauma, you know? cause not moving on is worse? Honestly, I think whittling a shark would be a great way to pay homage to izzy. I should get some soft wood to do it.

no end thoughts, just, gosh he was a wonderful character. loved to get to know him. rip izzy <3

[llycaons]

ep33 (3/3): lwj earring indulgence

people rarely make wwx as self-possessed or confident as he is in canon. I'll read fic where he's like 'lan zhan I am so sorry for breathing in your direction thank you so much for giving me a square mat to sleep on I promise to behave' and he'll be SO insecure and hesitant when that's really not him! for the most part he doesn't shy away from confronting lwj or getting into his business

it's just that lwj doesn't tell him shit bc he doesn't want wwx to feel obligated to lwj which is a great impulse but wwx also likes knowing how much people care about him so it's a bit of double-edged sword?

they're helpfully reminding us that this kid's name is yuan too

this made me laugh so hard. he's standing there with his ORIGINAL FACE in his classic black robes and red ponytale, playing a flute, and he thinks playing badly is a disguise? and THEN lwj gets mad at him for fumbling their song lmao

but wwx needn't have bothered bc lqr didn't realize anyway due to being comatose. until wwx woke him up with his bad flute playing

lqr having such a strong reaction to a flute is funny bc was he even on the front lines in sunshot? they said he didn't leave the mountain very often and it's not like he's a warrior. he's probably never seen wwx play

one of his top expressions

lwj is quite strict with lsz, in his own way. not in an aggressive way, but VERY expectant of obedience

there's one single female disciple here and she stayed in the back the entire conversation before coming forward for the water basin. what, are female disciples servants who are only used for healing?

this looks so cool. green suits wwx really well honestly

perhaps I have been unfair to lsz given how annoying his character is in fanfics and how obvious of a plot device he is. but he's a nice boy, and to my surprise he's also smart!! look at him thinking through problems!

encouraging to see wwx express sentiments that before his death, he really needed someone to tell him

coming back, I think he's become in a certain sense resigned to the things in his life that happened. no use getting angry or upset over them, some things you just can't change. and this is really sad, but it's also, hopefully, indicative of a more healthy mindset in his second life

"I naturally trust you' and that's what he needs to hear, baby

also seeing them standing together makes those 'huge top' fics so funny. they are literally almost exactly the same body type and build. no lwj is not a head taller. no he is not built like a brick shithouse, his hands are not large enough to encircle wwx's waist. if anything he is slightly taller and more slight in build, where wwx is slightly bulkier. but I think his height is because of his heeled boots

damn the jingshi is really so nice. I love hat porch area and the bridge over there.

right after wwx said 'it's pointing at the person who told it to commit crimes' ljy jumped and then glared at wwx haha

omg HORSES! I didn't know they used horses! wwx bouncing like a bobblehead hehe. and all the fics insisting he only uses little apple

HANGUANG-JUN PIERCED EARS SHOT. taking this to headcanon that lwj wears earrings. let lej be a little gnc. as a treat.

this was such a strange moment. lwj walked off and left wwx behind entirely. why???

oh and this was funny. this guy seling ugly portraits that wwx took offense to

THERE HE IS!!! THE MOST DISASTER BABY OF THEM ALL!!!!

this kid kicked a civilian in the chest for saying the name 'wei wuxian' in public. he might have already been sensitive and prone to fights, but clearly his parenting has been ABYSMAL

by 'his uncle' he is talking about jc. btw. I originally thought he was referring to himself, but it just makes more sense. ha.

I hate the fairy scene possible more than any other scene in this show. why is his face so comedically twisted? why is his running so stupid-looking? unbelievable that this happened in the same episode that made me cry my eyes out

personal highlights

oh the rite of spring was INSPIRED

all of wwx's crying this episode. all of it. beautiful

cgi sword stabbing a hand my beloved <3 <3 <3

lwj's broken little 'wei ying' at the very end

everything about the jingshi opening scene. the music. the lighting. the atmosphere. the calm

wwx seeing his younger and more innocent self frolic about. as stated, I was inconsolable. I've always liked it but after today, it's going to be a very special scene to me

lwj's sexy whip scars and mysterious chest brand. can't help it. I love them. and wwx's seriousness and care during that scene was really nice too

lqr being roused by bad flute music, yelling at them to stop, then slipping into a coma and wwx sitting there like 😬 'whoops' with that funny face

wwx sitting with the bamboo background looking all cool

[misscammiedawn]

The Good Place images are appropriate here because the show even has a good image for the complicated feeling of the victim's involvement in redemption exists on both sides of the debate.

There is something so painful about acknowledging that the person who hurt you gets to keep living life and that there is a possibility that they could be the person you needed them to be.

It's heartbreaking because someone who is stuck relooping the past is always going to be turning over what could have been and if they were capable of change then the fallacy insists "it was my fault"

Which--- let me tell you--- that is NOT the case.

Life is a complicated web of circumstances and growth is constant, random and without end.

Forgiveness is neither owed nor is it always virtuous to seek.

Part of accepting responsibility for past misdeeds and actions is knowing that there is going to be someone in the world who hates you, who has a view of you in their head which will never shift and will always be the shape of a monster.

Sometimes it's best to just leave people alone and accept that you'll never be forgiven in some spaces. It's not fair. It's not always just. But it's just how it is.

Another good fictional example of this is the ending of The Beginners Guide, which is a fictionalized version of the creator of Stanley Parable describing a relationship he had with a map creator who vanished and touring you through a series of their maps.

The game ends with a map sent directly to Davey that plays out as a giant fuck you to a person who stole their work and put it on the internet against their wishes. The final portion of a "museum" with letters from the map maker to Davey.

The final hallway the map maker, Coda, has messages that pontificate on what the missing element within Davey is that compels him to push for clout and violate his trust and consent.

The messages end with

"I realize that this doesn't make sense to you just yet."

"Which is fine, you're not my problem to solve."

"But I do hope that one day it clicks, and that you make peace with this thing you are wrestling."

"And when you finally see what I am talking about."

"don't say anything."

---

That's the hardest part about the broken relationship between those who seek and give forgiveness. Those who hurt (verb or adjective).

How can you make things right when to do so requires contact and contact requires violating boundaries on communication?

You don't.

It never gets made right.

The versions of one another that exist within memories remain, even with the knowledge that people grow, change, get better, make new connections and try every day to be better people.

It's the only mature way for any party to act.

“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of 'not knowing.”

And so for those who were hurt, they have to accept that the other person gets to continue and your entitlement in their journey is to no longer be part of it.

And for those who caused pain and seek redemption. Sometimes taking the pain of being hated is all you can do.

I've sat on both sides of that fence. I continue to sit on both sides of that fence. It's tough. Unfair, even.

Some of my harshest crimes were committed in childhood. I know I will be hated forever for them. I know there is someone in this world who stalks me with intent to cause me intense emotional and perhaps even physical harm because of my actions 20+ years ago as a scared, powerless kid who sided with the abusers.

And I hate the person who hates me. For things he did when we were kids and for things he has done since we grew up. I can empathize with him. Offer him some understanding. But I can't forgive him. I'll never forgive him. He has no right to it and he has no right to my shame or regret.

Sometimes life's a bitch and you just keep living.

This post obviously only refers to those who HAVE grown. Those who continue to cause pain and have not changed should be continued to be called out if their present behavior reflects their past behavior. It's when you chain someone to their past and refuse their ability to grow beyond it that things get complicated.

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

[doctorbarontsct]

gay rambling under cut

so. lyfrassir edda

have you ever met a person and been utterly convinced that the universe is unfair? not because of anything wrong with them. fuck no, anyone who says anything’s wrong with lyf is getting a taste of a weapon of my choice. fast. no, because they’re too fantastic for words and they absolutely hate me.

but hey, hate’s a strong emotion! and maybe it’s been a little confused! mixed up a bit! I know I get mixed up a little every I see them, because fuck, who wouldn’t.

look, they’re just. they’re so fucking hot you’ve got no idea, for one thing. even before they opened their mouth I wanted to know what was going on there. how someone like that ended up a place like here. how they could be in the same room as me. how I wasn’t going to trip over my words.

didn’t quite trip over my words as much as fuck them up, every single time, huh.

but. but I could write odes to their eyes. and the prison uniforms did them no favors but they made it work somehow? and their smile. dear god I only saw their smile a few times and each time. fucking damn it their smile would ruin me.

Shows up in my dreams sometimes. Now that I’ve got those. The real dreams are still the ones where they hate me. But there’s been one or two where they smile and shfjfkwb. i cant. them smiling at me. imagine.

I have imagined, actually. thoroughly. scenarios where I rescue them from something and they smile at me once before they try killing me. wouldn’t that be nice?

id like to talk to them too, if something like that was going on. talk with them and say hi. they have the most wonderful voice. talking to them makes me feel more like myself, and also less at the same time. more like a version of myself that I want to be, because I want them to see that person.

after all, fuck it. they’re already pretty close to perfect. just need to let the rest of us measure up a little.

prison bars and concrete walls

you walked away and left me back

i couldnt speak, couldn’t warn you of

the chance of death— a crime, a fact,

but I can dream and I can plan

for when I can see you again

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

3.4.24 Monday

12:13 am

Still, have windblow... Can't sleep....I have so many frustrations in life.... They took my 17 years and repeated me showing that I'm poorish.... A lot took and still taking advantage of my situation now, coz we are really having a financial inconsistency in our fundings.

They took my original upbringing....I feel bitter....Some 20's or red that didn't even know me, but some wicked old friends and wicked family members and wicked new people who are trying to tell something about me but they didn't even know me....Some just saw me yesterday or just last month or some were just few years back...

8:42 am

I still have windblow.. I need to get my momentum back and I feel so ugly...

So many insensitive people on me!

9:53 am

I still have winblow....Still, fanatic of crime documentaries just like my old weird favorite crime story based in reality life that old,classic crime of "Twin Peak"... Yeah!

It is just weird if the victim found dead in the bathroom particularly on the "bath-tub"... I love English words and I unzipped almost everything except for that "bath-tub" .... Can anyone tell me from my angels???

What's with the "bath-tub"??? Well, I was thinking the people are divided into ultra-conservative and liberated and conserberated ( which I'm in the middle )...

I just feel that they took some of my glowing moments for 17 years...

10:34 am

I still have windblow ... I feel bitterish...

Anyways, I already mixed my last batch of Ettas bleach... Hmm... Well, I think Navarro's is much more smoother than Ettas.... Anyways, I have my own mixed but Navarro's bleaching powder is somehow smoother and I think a bit upgrade than my own bleach formula...

I need to whiten the bitten parts of bugs on me and my butt part. I have super sensitive skin and it frustrates me so much that we can't afford to get an assistant here but everything is DIY ( do it yourself )....I'm not relax in the house, I miss having yaya or assistant coz I have sensitive skin.

Uncle DD and Aunt Karen are not sensitive enough on my toiletries and some of my vanity needs, like maintaining this low-cost bleaching powder and hoping I can get a laser in time....I really believe on having "golden aging" where you appear evenly smoothen coz your soul deserves it coz you are a good person. It is for self-esteem and being confident can lead to find a good relationship with someone...

I need to get a job for my personal expenses and to help a bit here but mainly for my personal expenses and for John my son-dog. Working in a call center is not that really a big time for me to shoulder everything here....I can't my salary in call center it is really for a personal thing or for single person only.

I still wanna travel in time....My frustration to join dog show coz I have a son-dog....My beauty perfection coz of "golden aging" I still wanna fix my nose and remove my deep smile lines coz it is"golden aging". Religious people deserve it like me....Hoping, I can have it...

I really need to have money and I will be out of money soon...I'm gonna ask help again from people that I know are good to me or from a friend nearby coz Aunt Karen and Uncle DD can't give assistance on my beauty needs but they can on their heads only like their 15k pesoses...

Uncle Jun we all know he is just a companion here and an observer...

12:20 noon

I hate the DJ's of Eagle and some fucking Church Of Christ they are traitors and mostly on the scene!!! Always a head of time, always on the lead and hating them for making me just a supporter!!! I don't like those most fucking unfair some "Church Of Christ"...

1:02 pm

This station is talking about "oral hygiene", the DJ is Kuya POY! 92.3 Radio Singko!

Just be straight forward... The oral breath is affected by a lot of different factors... It can be a damage inside your stomach, so it is important to check your breath and if you have ulcer it will affect your breath even if you brush your teeth...

It is important to keep a sugar mint candy for safety of your breath most specially if you don't talk for long hours, you need to brush your teeth.

I grew-up here having our own dentist named Dra.Castillio... When we transferred here when I was 13 and my brother next to me plus my adoptive parent's... We had a package for our teeth repair and fixed. Nana got a good teeth, no amalgams but the rest got some amalgams...Me? I have amalgams....My adoptive parent's got some dentures coz they smoked a lot.... That was our routine before... My brother RV and I, we had our teeth braces worth, for the 2 of us around 100k pesoses but it was on installement... All braces are always on installment basis....Plus, the cleaning and other stuff....We spent more around more or less 500k pesoses... But it was based on per visit coz we were 5 for that package. Teeth are expensive!

I was really conscious when I turned 15....I'm gonna repeat again my skin is really white but it is sensitive and I was just accidentally blackened myself for 2 years when I was in grade 5 and 6 when I transferred here in Cavite from Manila, so I just accidentally blackened myself coz of volleyball and I was not that aware and not yet conscious...

Then, when I entered Immaculate Conception Academy when I was 12 going to 13,then I started my bleaching to return my skin into white again. Then, it happened I turned white then on my 2nd year high-school I was not yet aware again and our sport festival came, I joined the volleyball again and I accidentally blackened myself again without awareness... When I turned 15 I had a good set of high school friends or barkadas who helped my family to take care of me and suddenly they just made me concious from 15 until I went to college... In fairness on my crazy high school friends...

1:45 pm

An additional story just a history.... I used to be a "choir member" in Church Of Christ.

Our head leader named Sister Ligaya or Sister Joy, she always reminded us to be aware of our breath coz we were seated side by side that we can smell or inhale the breath of each other. She said "bad breath can be a big distraction" on praising God and in the choir as well...

Hi Tita Fermin,nana is listening to you now most specially that "ultra-bio"....

2:36 pm

A lot died these days....People on TV but somehow I'm doubting....But I feel the sympathy on Antoinette Taus and Andy Eigemman. I have windblow and unfair to die this way.....Unfair to judge people sorry if doubt is here with me but I truly feel sorry for them...

I'm not yet fulfilled...

2:45 pm

I wanna leave Cavite, I do feel bitter their making me their supporter just like that most of "Church Of Christ".

For Immaculate Conception Academy stop damaging my image. A story that will just damage my image. Please shut up for the crazy old fake friends!!!

I hope some of the fake faces of Immaculate Conception Academy should stop telling stories that will not be my positive points or it means WAR! Coz they hate me that I don't know...

In Europe or for English people if you talk negative things about your friends meaning you don't like the person.... That's their way of showing or telling on other people that I don't like the person...

Example a situation that will not be adding up positively to the person's persona.... Like did you see her she asked for food at the party of Joe and she asked for an extra take out. Those things will never be a good points of your friend's image.

6pm

Bullshit that eperformax coz of my pronouciation they will not hire me, I need to reapply but I'm not gonna apply again I will remove eperformax on my list. I had a talked with Miss Anne... Bye Eperformax! Sya nga bisaya2x ang diction! I hate bisayaz now! Someone called me from Eperformax.I don't like Bisaya angels they are putting me down....Though my nana is Bisaya, but I don't like Bisaya other than my nana.....I will avoid Bisaya now in call center...

Waiting for Amazon!

6:17 pm

I don't wanna be with bisakol anymore....They are better than me in call center. I'm gonna break-up with someone coz of call center English, organization of just bisaya group, that they can go up....I don't like them for always putting me down.

I don't fucking care on Eperformax they are bunches of bisakoL!. Simply damaging my guts those fucking bisakoL of "Church Of Christ"! They didn't take me in those BisakoL! They didn't become my employer....Bisakol ng INC!

6:45 pm

Jack-knife is better than talking to bisakolish of INC who just planned to put me down even the windmills.....Go to hell!

Hell them angels those Eperformax!

7:06 pm

Waiting for Amazon,angels....

9:45 pm

My TL in conduent suddenly called me but I have FEAR, fear in a way that I respect my TL in Conduent....It is weird that after the call of Eperformax which I felt something is wrong to the point that a double-check somewhere and just want to put me down. I did a dead-end counter on Eperformax.

A mature way of handling things angels...I just texted TL Crizzy if we set-up the talk for tomorrow but if it is something negative I asked her a favour to simply mail it... What is the point of conversation if it is just a "termination".

I have a mixed-up emotion now that I have maturity to tell my TL that I'm doing something personal now that I can't manage any negative talk now...