#it is so honest too
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I just found a bunch of old stuff I wrote literally over ten years ago and I know I'm supposed to be all 'I'm so embarrassed this is so cheesy it's so old oh no' but really I'm sitting here smiling so big bc little me just had so much enthusiasm and wrote things that she just really wanted to write and it is so damn cute all of it is precious
#everything is in a different tense#there are 8 different POVs in the same 1000 word chapter#there is no build up to anything it is just straight to the drama#everyone is OOC#the dialogue is so awkward#man i love it#it is so honest too#like there is absolutely no fear of rejection in any of this#just such a pure excitement for writing and the characters#and it is all so sweet! like ridiculously sweet!#I loved fluff!#and it sure does show!
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The next game in the FNAF security breach era..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#roxanne wolf#glamrock freddy#fnaf gregory#fnaf cassie#security breach#fnaf ruin#TBH ILL BE HONEST#ILL SOB IF GREGORY AND CASSIE FIGHT EACH OTHER#I can’t take the doomed friends trope#but I can’t deny it’ll go hard too 😔#It be interesting if Cassie and Roxy go after Gregory#seeing he’s wronged them both#and god Freddy seeing Roxy too he’d be so shocked by her state#I did go for Roxy’s first ruined look too#just cause I find ruin Roxy cute? BAHA this design is a lil more menacing#tried to combine them
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🪲🐟
#Guys#Guys.#I'm so sorry for this one#Have I gone too far into crackship? Be honest now.#BUGFISH SAVE ME SEBPEST SAVE ME#pressure#roblox#sebastian solace#pest#regretevator
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.
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Wanted to try drawing something a little ornate, I think they’d make each other worse
#myart#creepypasta#crp#jane the killer#jane arkensaw#homicidal liu#jeff the killer#liu woods#if I was Jeff I’d try to kill him too#probably got tired of getting outmogged every morning#hey guys can I be honest#did not care for this drawing#did not care for it#but I spent the time so I’ll post lol hope someone out there enjoys it!#gonna draw some chill stuff for a bit#got an itching for eyeless jack#jtk#horror#also I think Liu is so pretty here. usually I’d try to avoid that a little but idk I kinda hc he’s pretty! idgaf!#creepypasta fanart#slenderman#not ship
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Still thinking about Gortash’s coronation and how smoothly he cuts a Durge off from their companions (and wishing we had a follow up with that)
The first words out of his mouth are that he cares about them- anybody else who remembers Durge has only distain for them, but not him- he’s happy to see them, he missed them, they’re his favorite assassin and he’s only glad to see them alive
And then he takes it a step further by providing insight into their past, something Ketheric refused to do for them- and Gortash isn’t dumb. He knows exactly how Durge’s companions will react, knows that he’s effectively outing Durge when he so easily could have pulled them to the side instead
And when their companions snap at them and refuse to look at them, Gortash is still smiling. Suddenly, he’s the nicest person in the room. Suddenly, everything is unstable and dangerous- but he likes you. He’s sitting there with open arms while the companions are rightfully so mad with Durge, but Gortash is more than happy to resume their alliance
He’s more than happy to be their sole source of comfort again, and isn’t he just so sweet for that?
#anyways really wish we did have a follow up- it feels like he so very effectively gets between Durge and their companions#and all of the companions are rightfully mad at them#and then you just keep on trucking along and eventually it feels like that conversation didn’t happen#which is too bad- I think it could be a lot of fun to put more pressure on Durge and co#and I think it’s a fun insight into Gortash’s character#he’s remarkably honest during that whole conversation and it’s all incredibly manipulative#plus I like to think he knows how finicky durge can be- and how quickly they feel backed up against a wall when their friends snap at them#and there he is. conveniently offering a different option#conveniently offering for them to fall back into step#which is nifty! mostly because it’s both caring (as much as someone like Gortash knows how to) and super manipulative#durgetash#Durge#enver gortash#bg3#bg3 spoilers
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living burger meat
#twisted wonderland#jack howl#leona kingscholar#jack howl x oc#leona kingscholar x oc#twst yuu#yuu/mc#twstvic#myart#savanaclaw#twst fanart#testing the waters......#TWO big tiddy beastmen now?? more likely than you think#you are not hallucinating. the V neck on their tops are lower.#fellas be honest is leona a bit too slutty did I exaggerate#i tried out a more manga style/coloring ??? its NOT as easy as it looked like OTL#idk why i drew them in dorm uniforms?? just to torture myself?? now i get why its so hard to find fanart of savanaboys in their dorm uni OT
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clark gets smaller. his glasses get bigger (⌐⎚⩊⎚)✧
(comments from this post! ty y'all for making me think abt clark's humongous glasses 💕)
#superbat#superman#batman#clark kent#bruce wayne#dc comics#dc#dcu#bruce is there bc i wanted to try drawing him as a chibi too jsbfjs#i'm gonna be so honest when i originally drew those glasses i was like 'yeah these are big but still normal sized glasses'#looking at them now....they are enormous. but also still my ideal size#if only giant glasses at my perscription were not so expensive/impossible to make 😭😭#my art#mine
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Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!
#personal#my art#Fuck your fake ass 'i am very smart!' intellectualizing “observations” and open your god damn ears.#do something for fucks sake. it's sickening seeing videos of ai crap and seeing rows and rows of repliers using their one brain synapse#to type “wow! very exciting!” “haha this is kind of scary! but in a really interesting way!”#and then they go about their day without a second thought while creative industries burn around them#i go to one of america's top tech schools too and it's enough to make you wanna tear our your hair#every day it's seminars and talks about “the potential consequences of ai!” when the consequences are happening NOW#NO MORE DISCUSSING NO MORE INTELLECTUALIZING NO MORE SOCRATIC SEMINARS NO MORE DEBATING. ACT YOU COWARDS#people are getting hurt RIGHT NOW. stop pretending to care when you clearly don't! just be honest and say you wanna make money#my time here has really made me hate academic spaces. you people are so god damn useless and cowardly.
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so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.
this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.
somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.
i used betterhelp.
i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.
the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.
they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.
the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.
i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."
i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.
the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.
i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.
in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.
the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.
betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.
i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.
there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.
in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.
i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.
#writeblr#the book....#coming soon#hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book”#i wrote the book#it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written#this is maybe too honest lol#okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may
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if you like florence + the machine and also kristen applebees and figueroth faeth. may i offer you cassandra
#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20 fanart#dimension 20 fantasy high#kristen applebees#fig faeth#craftie art#guys i. don't know what our fandom tag is to be honest. there's too many???#i should've put a mic in her hands.#i dunno there's something so fun and very teenager behavior for multiple girls in your friend group to ressurrect their own bespoke gods <3#later addition: i think cassandra is a very kristen song but figs would be more war pigs.#she just hadnt found that form of prayer yet
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I work at a vet clinic and this is the box out surgery drapes come in. The dog reminds me of Vasco and I’m like “wow I didn’t know Vasco was a surgeon”.
But I’ve been meaning to take a picture of this and send to you for a long time I just kept forgetting to do so.
.
#cackling#he seems so thrilled about it too#I love him but I'm not sure if trusting in his surgical skills is a good idea to be entirely honest#the cat doesn't mind#irl Vaschete sightings#whatifwewereallrobotsindisguise#answered
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It's not that hard Gege
#Please she deserves a fucking cover#i dont care what you say my word is law#it would be so fucking hype#i know were not gonna get it#jjk is not probably gonna end before she could get a cover lets be honest#ugh im cry#i just want my lil bobo to get some aknowledgement#is that too much to ask for?#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#shoko ieiri
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Bare skin, bare feelings.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#blood#Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you.#LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it!#WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did.#LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before.#Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings.#LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated).#His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable.#The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late.#Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world.#When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws?#Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both.#Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation.#And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.
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in the absence of the klingons
#this took so much time and effort pls give it some love#was going to shade buuuut idk I’m eager to work on something else tbh#and was just impatient to post too#I’ll be flat out honest I did not see the final frontier okay I saw all the movies but that one#I do love the scene I referenced though so I probably will watch it soon enough#my art#animation#star trek tos#star trek#tos spirk#spirk#spirk fanart#jim kirk#james t kirk#tos spock#spock#star trek fanart#short animation#the final frontier
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OKAY THIS SCENE
The look Lucifer is giving is enough to start but the fact that if you listen closely you can hear him go "ugh this guy." I CAN'T EVEN.
Lucifer is just like "Yeah sure did all the hard work but why not show up after it all."
#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin hotel#alastor#lucifer morningstar#I loved this finale so much#The morningstars just kicking ass too#Tbh everyone was just awesome this last episode#Nifty is the mvp for Adam though lets be honest#Excited for what they do in season two
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