#it is one day short of exactly a year
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A Court of Snow and Shadow Multi || Romance & Mystery || Azriel x OFC
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Chapter Four: Maera
Nyra wakes, laments, and ponders the shadows laid out before her.
Waking up from a tonic induced sleep was like trying to breach the surface of a lake filled with tar. Slow, heavy, and thick limbed, Nyra emerged into consciousness. Her eyelids felt as if they were weighted down by boulders; opening her eyes was such a task she debated allowing herself to fall back into the dark bearings of slumber just to avoid the strain of vision. But flashes of her dreams came back to her in long, languid strokes â refusing to let her mind settle like a paddle through still water. The feeling of bare feet on cool marble, a warm caress over her shoulders. A soothing voice like night and the smell of cedar. It was confusing, Nyra mused, as she drifted further and further away from unconsciousness; the heaviness of her eyelids now an annoyance more than a temptation. Her dreams werenât pleasant â ever. Nothing about sleep these days was anything close to it, really. So why did the images floating through her mind give her such a sense of peace, of calm? Golden, burning eyes peering down at her. The shadow of wings, massive and black, against the white walls of her home. A tug within her chest, just below her ribs. The boulders pulling her eyelids down were suddenly no more than grains of sand, and Nyraâs eyes flew open as a gasp tore from her mouth. Mate.
A/N: DID YA MISS ME?? I miss you guys!! (and this story my WORD)
Chapter four is now up! I am so excited for you all to get a proper look into Nyra's head.
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#a court of snow and shadow#acosas#mip writes#my writing#acotar fanfiction#azriel fanfic#azriel x oc#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#acotar fanfic#acotar#i should be on my KNEES apologizing for this wait#which i am#it is one day short of exactly a year#and boy did I think and struggle with this EVERY day#but here we are!!
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Patrick Troughton - billed as Pat - helps the stricken French nobility (and flashes the audience) as Sir Andrew Ffoulkes, a staunch ally of the title character in The Adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel (ITP, 1955 - 1956)
#fave spotting#patrick troughton#the adventures of the scarlet pimpernel#doctor who#classic doctor who#two#itp#itc#1955#I've had a nice rhythm going lately with pairing a 50 min series (usually The Saint these daysâ tho not for much longer...) with a shorter#25 min one to dip into when I've less time or whatever. with The Adventurer over (adieu and farewell Gene Bradley you insane#multi talented everything) i thought I'd change it up a little and go for a much earlier itc series for a different tone. so early in fact#that they weren't even ITC yet; the company was then known as the Incorporated Television Programme Companyâ ITP for shortâ but be not#fooled; this is in every way the Lew Grade led company that would come to dominate the commercial tv world in the decades to follow#The Adventures of Robin Hood is usually identified as the first ITC production but in fact it beat this series to the screen by only#3 days and the two shows were presumably in production simultaneously. Hood went on to be the making of ITC and Lew Grade and lasted#a whopping 143 episodes over 4 years; Pimpernel made it to only 18 despite being planned as a 39 part series (standard length for these#early itc shows). exactly what went wrong i dont know; Goring was heavily involved in production as well as starring and maybe that played#a partâ or maybe the popular success of Hood meant this show was no longer affordable. idk im just speculating but from#what I've seen it's fairly fun. starting on ITV just a week after the network commenced transmissionâ it's safe to say this didn't capture#the public imagination like Hood did and it does seem to have been rather forgotten about. Pat is actually a series regular and these#pics come from a few different eps among the first few. he isn't in the very first (nor is the Pimpernel's other faithful companion#played by Anthony Newlands) and i do wonder if that was a pilot (it has Robert Shaw as the Pimpernel's right hand and to my#knowledge he doesn't reappear; he'd make up for it with a starring role in one of ITC's next seriesâ The Buccaneers#but yes he's here and he's fantastic and gets to be dashing and heroic (tho never moreso than Goring of course). he's also the one of the#three heroes who best suits the powdered hair look (Newlands looks quite unfortunate). and of course i know what im doing with that#last shirtless pic.. you're welcome Pat girlies (gender neutral)#maybe I'll make another post after I've seen a few more eps but i wasn't going to commit to a Pat post for every episode im afraid
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#SO iâve been gunning for an educational leader position for a while and much to my dismay our current EL is being transferred to a new#centre and she is exactly what I aspire to be as an EL and Iâve been wanting to train under her#but they just havenât made it happen so now her entire role is up for grabs#or so i thought#but another teacher who is like best friends with the entire management team is getting it bc they all referred her#and i hate that i think it but she is nottttt great at her job#and Iâve actually been interim EL on a super short term basis multiple times this year when theyâve been searching for new ones so#wouldnât you thinkâŚ. that iâd be their first option????#the other teacher has no prior experience and albeit mine is small itâs something and i rocked that shit#idk them deciding to go with her makes it sound like they think I didnât do a good job but they asked me multiple times to be the interim EL#so doesnât that say something???? IDKKKK anyway iâm really upset and enraged and I just hate that#everything is a ânot what you know but who you knowâ game these days#and iâve said it for months that if this other teacher ever makes EL before me and iâm supposed to let her ~train me and support me then iâd#resign right away because I am not about to set back my career bc they decided to give their friend a whirl at a new title#ANYWAY fun times fun times
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one good thing about writing a very time-period accurate short story set in the 70s is that i can make a part of my character's backstory that he summoned the ghost of winston churchill and that was how he had realized that he just had the ability to summon ghosts.
#my character is a journalist and is 24 years old in the events of the story#the story is about a murderer and stuff and the murderer killed a person and another character saw it and the murderer attended his old#high school so he recognized him but wouldn't tell anyone#he is a shit liar so everyone knows that he knows something they don't so he is vaguely on the suspects list#but then dude gets killed by the murderer :( not cool#the journalist in search of leads decides to take matters into his own hands after that because his detective friend who is in charge of#the case is strangely despondent (she is helping the murderer#the journalist doesn't know that)#so. he just decided to summon the ghost. he had a history of summoning ghosts#first one was purely accident and happened when he was 14 and happened in 1965#basically the terms of the ghost summoning is that#exactly four days after the person you want to summon dies lie exactly four days like exact#time and everything#and you have to mutter their last words to yourself#that is the only way and you have to time it precisely or else you will miss it#and it's not impossible to summon the ghost#churchill was the first one and completely accidental#he was an angsty teenager at 14 and by the luckiest coincidence he says âi am bored of it allâ at the exact time#and then there was winston churchill. just there#a ghost can stay how long as they want if they wish it completely up to the ghost#churchill didn't even say a word bro just left as soon as he was summoned couldn't be summoned again#the journalist dismissed this as a crazy hallucination at the time but he decided to test it out and he did so in 1966 and with preperation#the ghost he was trying to summon was walt disney and he did it confirming his theory !!#OKAY THATS IT FOR EXPLANATION#shoot me an ask if you want me to explain this story particularly !!#đ arian's shit#writing#short story#story
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Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.
IKR SAME OMG
Theyâre literally perfect for each other <- delusional
But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them
#literally making an illustration type comic on Mumbos whole vampire timeline#Scar will be next with his vex schenanigans..#the worst part is I always cycle like three to five different backstoryâs in my brain for these two I CANNOT decide#but now that Iâve written a short ficlet (that no one will see unless asked) abt a few scenes of Mumbos backstory I think Iâm pretty set on-#-his part#Scar tho??? no clue#I have the Hotguy backstory (which I daydream about WAY too much) I have the apocalypse backstory. I have the single player raised by villa-#-gers for years and years cuz his mom dropped him off in the single player world when Scar wasnât conscidered a player yet since he was an-#-infant cuz it was a teen pregnancy and she was too scared to tell anyone so she just dropped him off with the villagers never to be seen#again. and since it was technically HER single player world when Scar DID grow up old enough to be recognized as a player he couldnât#access any of the 'exit world' stuff or anything like that since it wasnât his world#and then like a watcher or smth pulled him out of it so that Scar could be put through the horrors of gun related things for experimentstuff#and then thereâs the backstory of where scar IS a watcher. like not a person turned watcher he was BORN (if you could say that) a watcher#and like the other watchers wanted to do an experiment of basically 'could a watcher if stripped of its memories and placed in a people-#-world be able to produce its own feelings and emotions?' and so they did that to Scar but they didnât place him there as a baby no. they#placed him there as a full grown man so bros even more confused. and when the life series stuff started he had exactly one âď¸ dream per#Series and it was tiny little snippets of his watcher self but he didnât know that itâs him but like he felt a strange pull towards these#dreams so thatâs basically the reason why he kept coming back to the life games even tho they hurt him deeply as we all know#and then when he won secret life the secret keeper asked him what his wish was now that heâs won and he didnât ask to know who he was and#where he came from (since he just appeared one day as a full grown man with no identification) since heâs made peace with that maybe it is#better not to know. so instead he asked abt the dreams he always has in these series and wth their abt and the context and stuff#and then BAM the secret keeper just drops all that information on him and he has an identity crises :D#anyways. I put both of these guys through many horrors I just have so many ideas for scar specifically. oh also thereâs that backstory where#hes an assasin guy and he feels rlly guilty abt it when he gets split in half (gtws and btws) cuz like he has morals now apparently?? also#it explains the scammer stuff cuz he was a HUGE scammer bacl them#asks#hermitcraft#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#redscape
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fingers crossed i can write the entire chapter tommorow
#the last oneâŚâŚ and then methodology but it should be short#and then on sunday iâll add janion to the eastern other chapter plus write intro/ending#and iâll send it#and then monday we have the interview#and iâll try to maybe convince my group we only need the one#which isnât exactly true but the idea of sending the finished thing saturday stresses me out#bc if we donât get the grade right away it will fuck my entire summer up#esp since idk how long itâll take for the system to actually close my year and then iâll have to contact the school#and idk how fast they will add me to the thesis system#and idk to have the defense on the last day possible ughhhh#whatever. finish writing this first#and you can worry abt the last grade next week#oh and send the email ughhhhhhh#maybe tomorrowâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ. i hate emailsâŚâŚ#đ
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"Junho" - an exercise in willow charcoal done 4/22/2024 in about 20 minutes of Lee Junho from 2PM
#this month it will be a FULL decade since i started this blog. but we were just a few short days#of making it 10 years without my kpop obsession leaking onto this sideblog. i thought we'd make it#i thought we'd make it but we didn't#my drawing#junho#2024#2pm#lee junho#charcoal#willow charcoal#drawing exercise#i drew something else today but i'm saving it to post later#and i only wrote one poem today and it was crap. so here's an exercise#i like how most of the drawings i post to this blog are just beautiful men#it's overrepresented in my portfolio admittedly#im not exactly 'proud' of this but i do like posting my exercises now and then bc they are fun to look at#i find examining my rushed/practiced drawings to be a lot more helpful in spotting my own strengths and weaknesses#than finished drawings i put a lot of dedication in#with this one i can say that the nose is off-center and the skull doesn't go all the way around on the left#as much as it should. but since it's clearly not meant to be a fully 'good' drawing it's more forgivable#if i had slaved at this for four hours it would kill me to stare at that inaccuracy#also: this is yet another example of the 'diana likes to draw faces far more than clothes' style of portrait#it's not that i dislike drawing clothes but they are so much less fascinating to me#i could stare at faces forever. whereas fabric doesn't inspire me to craft every detail just so.#and it shouldn't. because fabric is far more forgiving than human anatomy anyway
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â
#random question of the day#maybe not exactly a question#on the one hand you have all these jokes (that I donât disagree with) women tell about how some guy approaches her at church#and says âGod told me youâre going to be my wifeâ#and the reaction is to shut that down or run away (depending on energy level and the cycle of the moon etc)#on the OTHER hand I heard stories growing up about women who would meet guys#and say âGod told me he was going to be my husbandâ#and the reaction to that (in my experience; perhaps not usually) is âawwww good for youâ#yeah there really isnât a question#just an observation#from the girl who never made a list of must-haves for a husband#who never âprayed for her future husbandâ like the devotions leader suggested#(thatâs a lie I did make a list like a year ago because one friend was asking)#(it is a very short list)
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Jesus christ why do I feel so much like a hunted animal (<- knows exactly why)
#I feel like I havenât had a proper break from my semester yet and Iâm not going to get one anytime soon :/#first I got food poisoning right before flying home and had to take my physics final on Xmas eve which I fully believe I failed#then I got an eye injury on new years eve and had to spend eight hours in a hospital about it followed by days of lying in a dark room with#only audiobooks for company because it hurt too much to do anything#and now on the tail end of that Iâm flying out for almost a week to a conference Iâm presenting at#and this entire time my parents are moving everything from our short term rental to a proper house#when I get back from the conference I have exactly a week before flying back to Philly to volunteer at another conference#and then the semester starts immediately afterward#I need to be put down for my own good I fear#if I donât get to go to the beach alone for a week on spring break Iâm going to snap I feel it in my soul
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it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!
well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.
jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.
watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.
sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.
thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!
wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.
and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!
you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.
in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.
#spilled ink#well you'll never guess how i feel about this#ps im hispanic. nonbinary. disabled. girl i cannot pick a fucking struggle.
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I have never been more bitter than right now when I realised that while I'm here, starting a new job while also dealing with some of the worst weather we've had so far this year (and this is scotland, our regular bad weather is nothing to sniff at), my parents are in Miami. Boarding a cruise ship. And it's currently 26°C there
#yes i know I probably wouldn't enjoy a cruise and since I'm trans all of florida is basically 'avoid at all costs' rn#and i do like this job so far and it's exactly what I've been looking for and I definitely prefer this to further unemployment#but it's the principle of the matter#i had to wait for the bus while it was 6° and raining with 30+ mph winds#while my nearest relatives are on holiday with weather equivalent to a very nice summer day here#and that's without factoring in how much i enjoy seeing floridians handle their winter temperatures#i spent christmas in orlando a few years back and there was one day a little cooler than the rest#you could tell who was local because they were all bundled up in actual coats while we were still in shorts#because it was 15°#almost 60° if we want to use the local units#and i get why since it was the middle of winter and that was the only day it dropped below 20° so that is a chilly day for them#but it does not make it any less funny
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Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:
- shorter time between periods
- irregular periods
- hot flashes and/or cold flashes
- fucked up sleep
- OMG NIGHT SWEATS
- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert
- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants
- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times
This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.
Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:
- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.
- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.
- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.
- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.
- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome đ
- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)
- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).
I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.
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Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)
Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!
#perimenopause#menopause#hrt#reproductive health#burning mouth syndrome#rare disease#about me#1K#5K#10K
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No you see they absolutely CAN judge my gains because I recently switched gyms from a large, basic, public gym that rhymes with Splanet Sfitness to a smaller Gymbroâ˘ď¸ gym where everyone is built like a greek god and I'm p sure half the men in there are actively on a cycle, and while they are allâand I cannot express this enoughâincredibly nice people who have welcomed me with open arms, and although I have only been here for a few weeks, they are all insane lifters and therefore of everyone in my life they can judge my gains
Happy to report that after a week of memeing on Dash for skipping his annual leg day, karma has gotten me. Iâm now known as âthe girl who couldnât turn her car alarm offâ at my local gym.
#true story: i was an hour late to my normal gym time one day last week#because ya know i was being what the kids call lazy#and when i got there this 60 year old old school bodybuilder came up to me#blazing red shirt tucked into his gym shorts#sleeves cut off#you know exactly the type#and loud enough for the entire weightlifting room to hear#he went:#âLOOK WHO'S HERE! THOUGHT WE SCARED YOU OFF FOR A SECOND! I WAS TELLINGââ [points to three people nearby]#i was like mmhm yup no i was just having trouble motivating today on account of my entire body is sore đ
#nice guy tho for real#he introduced me to like half the room#gym bro au
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Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.
I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.
Yes. I've shifted.
I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.
I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.
Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:
I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.
So? Why did I mention this?
Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:
"Shifting needs practice!"
Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.
Though, is the phrase actually true?
No, not at all.
Shifting does not need practice!!
Here's why:
(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)
The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)
Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)
Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.
Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.
I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:
My journey:
I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.
A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.
First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.
Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.
Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.
Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)
I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.
I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.
Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.
A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.
The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.
LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.
And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.
Background to my first shift:
It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.
I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.
The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.
But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:
"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."
Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.
I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.
And with a blank mind I thought.
"I won't have to take any test today."
And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.
The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.
So the test got cancelled.
Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.
I decided to apply this to shifting.
Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)
And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.
My method and what happened next:
First phase of shifting:
When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)
I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:
a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.
b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.
c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)
During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.
And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)
So you can start the next phase.
Middle phase (optional):
To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)
This is all about connection to your DR.
Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:
My name is ___.
I work as a ___.
My age is ___.
Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.
(That's you!)
Phase three:
Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.
a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)
OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)
b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.
AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.
âď¸When I reach my DR âď¸ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.
Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)
Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.
(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)
c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)
Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.
And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.
Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?
So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.
And I remember I thought this:
"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."
(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)
And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)
I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.
I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.
So that's it.
Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.
And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.
Ask away.
I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.
#shifting community#reality shifting#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting#shiftblr#shifters#permashifting#respawning#shifting methods#shifting stories#shifting success
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melatonin
two-shot | enemies to fuckers sevika x reader
pt. 2
ao3 link
summary: you're forced to go on a business trip with your least favorite coworker and share a room with her. now you can't sleep.
18+ MDNI | 4.1k words | tags; canon divergence, sevika is a little mean, sevika is nonchalant fr, reader is a brat, very light sub/dom, vaginal fingering, scissoring, begging kink, praise kink kinda, porn w/ plot-ish, no use of y/n
new record; took me 4 days to write. i don't know who possessed me. i love enemies to lovers so bad FUCKKKK!!!
âOne room.��� The motel owner, an old, short, and grotesque-looking woman with a thick accent, says.Â
 âOne room? Clear another one out then?â You insist, mildly threateningly. The womanâs eyes glaze over as she blinks. Sheâs not moved.
âThere are two beds; who cares?â Sevika grumbles, clearly over your antics.
You shoot a glare in her direction, lip forming into a scowl. âIâm not sharing a room with you; you look like you snore.âÂ
She tells you something along the lines of go fuck or kill yourself (you werenât really listening) before pushing past you and replacing the room keys on the counter with a stack of silver cogs.Â
The owner collects the cogs with a grunt before adjusting her small reader glasses. Sevika strides off towards the rooms, and you quickly turn after her.
âCouldnât you have tried to help?â You ask. Your eyes burn a hole through the side of her face.
She doesnât spare you a glance. âYouâre dramatic, and I donât have the patience to deal with your bullshit right now.â
You hate her. You fucking hate her. Youâve been working alongside Sevika for two years now, yet you canât shake the feeling. It started when you first met; Sevika was cold and critical, reprimanding you even though you were young and starting out. Thatâs not even what drove you to hate her, though; at least back then it felt like she was looking out for you, but you were painfully mistaken when you got promoted within the year.Â
You donât know what it was; jealousy, doubt, but her distaste for you only grew more apparent. There were fewer critiques and more insults about how you work or about your intelligence. Insufferable. She was insufferable.
There hasnât been a day sheâs been likable since then, so imagine your reaction when Silco tells you and her to go on a little business trip to Bilgewater. No matter how much the both of you wanted to protest, you didnât. Instead you two argued amongst yourselves the whole trip there.Â
Why would you want to spend even more unnecessary time around her?
The minute you guys enter your room, you donât speak a single word to each other, let alone look each otherâs way. You take turns using the restroom to get ready for bed, and then you find a place for your belongings, and Sevika ejects her bionic arm for the night. Although you two definitely donât like each other, it doesnât mean you donât trust each other. You know she wonât rob you; she knows you wonât (canât) take advantage and kill her. Thatâs the only semblance of peace you share.
âÂ
A faint amber light soaks through your eyelids, and you blink them open to the popcorned ceiling. You toss and turn in your bed, rustling around, unable to find a good position, and it doesnât help that the cheap mattress is, well, cheap. You canât sleep. Youâve always had trouble sleeping, but itâs never been a real problem before; youâd just stay up. Yes, you have permanent eye bags because of it, but itâs not like you can choose otherwise. Youâre from Zaun; any aid for it is not exactly accessible.Â
However, the meeting you have tomorrow is important, so itâs important that you find a way. You canât afford to slack off or doze off during it; youâre the negotiator, and tomorrow makes or breaks a trade deal that will be most beneficial for Zaunâs income.Â
You rustle in your bed sheets again, and Sevika immediately groans. âCan you stop? And turn the lamp off.â
You look at her and youâre about to apologize, but you hold your tongue when you remember who youâre talking to. âI canât sleep.â
âTurn the lamp off and fucking figure it out.â She snaps, turning her back towards you.
âCanât you hear?â You squirm around, making as much noise as possible to get your point across. âIâm trying.â
âFind a different way. Count poros. Turn the lamp off.â
You scoff, eyes back on the ceiling, âIâm not five; counting poros doesnât work, and Iâm not turning off the lamp.â
You can hear Sevika shifting in her bed. âI knew you shouldâve stayed back,â she sighs, âand youâre scared of the dark? Grow up.â
âWow, fuck you. If you had asked nicely, I wouldâve turned it off, and what do you mean I âshouldâve stayedâ? Youâre not my boss. Iâm more valuable than you are.â You angrily rant.Â
âAlright, you are talking way too much right now. Cut it out.âÂ
ââŚNo.â You reply. It sounds unconvincing with your lack of words, but it was the best you could come up with.
âDo you need calming tea or something? What will get you to shut up, because Iâm about to hold a pillow over your head and call it a night.â She growls.
âNothing. I can only sleep if I get a concussion or if I drink my pants off.â
She says your name like a warning, âIf you ruin this deal, Iâll make sure to see you off myself.â
You bite back, âSevika, if I could sleep, I would be sleeping. I donât want to ruin it either, but your scolding isnât helping.â
Itâs quiet for a few seconds, then Sevika grunts stubbornly. Itâs followed by sheets moving and a dull stomp on the floor. You turn to look, and you see Sevika sitting at the side of her bed.Â
You glance at her muscular thighs in those gray shortsâyou couldnât help itâbefore staring back at the ceiling. âAre you going to make me tea?â
She pushes off the bed with her one arm. âNo.â
âSwitching rooms then?â You ask as your eyes follow her shadowâs movement on the walls.Â
âNo.â
âThen... What is it?â You turn, flinching a bit when you find Sevika peering down at you.Â
She looks hesitant, timid; the first time youâve ever seen it. âIâll help you.â
Your defenses go off, and you quickly sit up. âWait. Youâre not going to kill me, right?â
âOver sleep? Are you stupid?â She pushes you back down, and not with much force, obviously.
You lay there, defeated. âSo?â
âI said, âIâll help you.'â She restates.
You stare up at her with slight annoyance, âWell, you have to tell me how?â
She has an indecisive frown before exhaling, âIf you come, youâll shut up.âÂ
Your head shakes in confusion. âCome? Where are we going?âÂ
âYouâre an actual idiot.â She groans.
You gasp in offense. âYouâre the one being fucking crypticââ
âIâll fuck you to sleep.âÂ
âWhat?â
âIâll fuck you to sleep.â
âI heard you; Iâm just,â you laugh nervously, âare you serious?â Your ears must be playing tricks on you.Â
âWeâre not close enough to joke around with each other.â She says plainly.
Baffled, you reply, âWeâre not close enough to fuck either?âÂ
âDo you really care about shit like that? Sex is sex.â
You think about it for a second. Youâve never been in a proper relationship, and youâve only had a handful of hookups, but youâve never slept with someone you dislike, and you definitely donât like Sevika. Even if she is hot. âWell, I guess notââ
ââThen whatâs the issue?â Her eyes bore into you.
You gulp at the sudden weight of her stare, but you donât crumble. âThe issue is that I donât like you. At all.â
Sevika scoffs, âIâve seen the way you stare at me. Youâre not subtle. At all. I saw you do it a few minutes ago.â
How embarrassing. Itâs true, between all your hate are moments of admiration. Sevika is âcool,â sheâs respected, sheâs feared. Sheâs also full of herself, naggy, and blunt. Both things can be true. But on top of that, sheâs hot to the point itâs frustrating.Â
One time, while she was sitting in her designated booth at The Last Drop playing poker, she locked eyes with you after a big win. There was that sexy, satisfied grin she always gets after every win, and she had the audacity to lock eyes with you.Â
Your thighs pressed together. You beat yourself up over it for the rest of the night and the following day; you couldnât even look her in the eye without getting unreasonably angry.
Your face is turning warm, but thereâs no point in turning awayâyou have to fake it until you make it. âOkay? Whatâs your point?â You ask, even though her point was very clear. Youâre running yourself into walls.
Sevika already deciphered that; her face reads, âWhere the fuck are you right now?â âListen, I donât like you either, but if you want to sleep, Iâll help you, and if you donât, Iâll get another room.â She explains.
You can tell itâs her final offer. You chew your bottom lip until you remember Sevika is still looking at you. Hiding your face behind your hand, you canât believe youâre considering it. Sex with Sevika. Sounds mad when you repeat it in your head. Itâs just sex, though, right? You knew she loved Zaun, but you didnât know she loved it this much. Sleeping with you, practically her arch nemesis, for the betterment of society. That sounds insane. This is insane.
Sevika kisses her teeth, âForget itââÂ
ââOkay,â you interrupt, âhelp me.â Youâre unable to look her in the eyes.Â
She looks at you dubiously, and her lack of doing anything unnerves you, so you continue. âPlease?â You slowly look up at her, and you swear her eyes darkened.Â
âPlease?â She mimics. âDidnât take you for the submissive type.âÂ
âNo idea what youâre talking about.â You reply, although it comes out like a whisper.
âMhm,â she hums apathetically, pulling up the covers draped over you. Her knee makes a dip in the bed. âMake some space,â she asks. You sit up, and you have no idea what to do. Looking left and right, you'd think you were trying to cross the road. She stares blankly. âJust spread your legs.â She commands.
You immediately do as she says, and she chuckles to herself at how you continue to prove her right. Youâre clearly not a fan of that, your frown prominent. âWhatâs funny?âÂ
Sevika kneels herself between your legs, using her arm to help balance her in place. âMan, you love to argue.âÂ
You shrug. âIâll stop when you fuck me to sleep. If you can... Donât you think youâre a little overconfident?âÂ
Sevika slowly blinks at you, unsure of whether she should be turned on or irritated. You take it as the latter, and now itâs your turn to chuckle to yourself. But your self-satisfied giggling stops when she leans over you, inches away from your face, âYouâre about to find out.âÂ
You never took the time to process Sevika kneeling between your legs, and now you can feel each exhale from her on your face. Your body starts to process it too: your breathing gets heavier and your heartbeat gets faster. You donât have a crush on her or anything, but this is an unusual, unsurprisingly hot experience. Your eyes flicker to her full, uneven lips before they squeeze shut.
Sevika flicks your forehead. âWhâow?!â You whine, rubbing your head with your hand to soothe it.Â
âIâm not kissing you.â She clarifies.
Your face warms with embarrassment, fingers gripping at the fabric beneath you. âHow was I supposed to know you wanted a staring contest?â You grumble.
Sevika rolls her eyes, barely shaking her head in disappointment. Her face moves on from yours, and her lips attack the exposed curvature of your neck, licking, biting, and rendering you speechless. She gives you no time to regulate your emotions, and you let out a soft groan you wouldâve otherwise swallowed down. Just what she wanted: less talking, more moaning.
Letting her guide the tilt of your head, you awkwardly rest your hands on her shoulders. Youâre unsure of whether you can or should touch her. She pauses. âSorâ I⌠uhâŚâ You stammer and put your hands up. You decide to just stop speaking to save yourself.
âRelax.â She tells you, gazing at you through her loose, dark hair. It stirs something below you.Â
You place your hands back on her shoulders, albeit reluctantly, and try to maintain eye contact so you look composed.Â
Sevika doesnât buy it. She glances at your hands, very tellingly. ââŚRelax.â She repeats, softer than she did before, and your heart skips a beat like youâre in a clichĂŠ.Â
Hesitantly, you slide your arms around her shoulders, linking your hands together. It feels intimate, too intimate, and looking at her is getting harder by the second. Sevika chuckles in a way that borders on a scoff. âYou wanted to do that; donât be shy about it.â
You huff, âI didnât know I was being teased to sleepâŚâ
âIs it working? Itâd save me time.â
âFuck off...âÂ
âYouâd hate that.â She replies, as if itâs undeniable. It is, but sheâs way too cocky about it. You look like youâre about to curse her out, but youâre holding it back.Â
Sevika grins smugly, and for a moment, she considers kissing you. Your arms are wrapped around her shoulders, your eyes are yelling, âFuck me already,â lips practically begging to meet hers.
This is intimate, too intimate. Itâs fucking with her logical reasoningânot that this is logical to begin with. It sounds stupid, but itâs worked for her so far; she casually fucks on the regular, and she doesnât kiss them ever. Never really felt like it. Yet, here you are, making her feel new things. She knows thereâs no going back if she makes an exception with you, and quite frankly, you still piss her off. Itâs conflicting.
You impatiently perk a brow at her. You had to stop yourself from flat-out asking her to continue; your ego canât afford you coming off as begging.
For a millisecond she looks like she got caught, then a millisecond later, sheâs on you again.Â
She attentively kisses the skin below the curve of your jawline, her tongue making frequent warm appearances. Itâs much more fervent, but rough in a way that makes you tremble. She always makes sure you feel her teeth gliding over when she moves to the next spot. Your legs move on their own, one leg curling up against her side. Youâre already pooling where youâre seated, but now itâs getting uncomfortable to sit this damp.Â
Experienced is how you can describe her right now. You heard rumors of her activity, but you never believed it. There was no way her olâ grumpy ass was getting laid, no matter how incredibly sexy she was. Then again, you never got along, which makes this situation, this fucking feeling, even crazier.Â
She was being extra careful not to bruise you at first, but she seems not to care anymore, only driven further when she hears your little gasps or feels your arms tightening around her. Sheâs getting carried away, but sheâll figure out how to play it off some other time.
 Sevika pulls back. She throbs at your dazed and confused expression. âCome closer.â She ushers as she transitions to sitting rather than kneeling on the bed.Â
With no hesitation, you donât let go of Sevika as you push yourself forward on your hips, sitting your ass comfortably on the edge of Sevikaâs lap. Her hand lands on your waist. She says, âLay down for me.âÂ
You nod shyly, removing your arms from Sevikaâs shoulders and descending onto the mattress. Sevika tries to ignore how the loss of your arms around her made her feel. Her hand travels to the waistband of your joggers. âYouâre going to have to move these for me too.â She asks, shrugging her shoulder thatâs missing an arm as a reminder.Â
She doesnât move; she waits. Your insides do a flip. Sheâs waiting for you to remove them how you are now: legs diverged around her, hips pointed towards her. You think about how vulnerable youâll look and feel when you slide them off, showing her the sopping mess she unknowingly made between your legs. You know sheâs going to see it eventually, but from you doing the honors? Thatâs tearing you apart. She notices a shift in your demeanor, but she doesnât acknowledge it. âHurry up.âÂ
âCanât you move backâŚ?â
Sevika rolls her eyes. âNo.â
You whine in embarrassment, briefly shielding your face in your hands before hastily pulling at your waistband. You wish you had turned the lamp off.
Sevikaâs hand clasps over yours. âSlowly.â She scolds. Scolds. Youâre fucking flabbergasted. Sheâs doing this on purpose, you can tell. Sheâs barely holding back another signature, smug smile.Â
âYouâre such a dick.â You curse. A direct juxtaposition in your actions that donât defy Sevika at all. Hell, it juxtaposes your body because of how youâre aching for her.
âYeah, yeah. Off.â She pulls at the band of your pants, letting it slap down when she releases it.Â
You mutter out a few more curses that she fully grins at before you silently begin to remove your joggers and underwear simultaneously. You lift your hips for mobility, and Sevikaâs eyes are glued to the fabric making its way down your thighs, and youâre forced to watch how intently sheâs watching you. You can try to insist this is humiliating and cruel, but you canât stop throbbing just from this; her eyes anticipating your reveal, like youâre a self-opening present.
The clothing starts to bunch at the middle of your thighs, and your arousal is halfway there to being exposed to Sevika. The scent is what hits her first; it makes her want to yank your pants down and give you what you want, but watching you do it so much better.
Once it reaches above your knees, she partially moves out of the way so she can help you remove them properly. While she tosses it elsewhere, you debate pinning your legs shut.Â
Sevika looks back at youâyour legs, actuallyâand you do flinch them closed. She tsks. âDonât be stubborn. Not now.â She didnât sound like she was insulting you, even though a small part of you wanted to be offended.Â
You let out a shaky sigh and avoid her gaze, slowly parting your legs. Thighs slicked with arousal, folds glistened with the same, youâre undeniably soaked. You prepare yourself to look at Sevikaâs shit-eating grin, but when you do, itâs nothing of the sort. Her eyes are low, shaded, and memorializing, and her bottom lip fully disappeared between her teeth.Â
Then she grins; she even laughs, just as you expected. You groan, not at her, but at how wet you got from it. âI didnât even do anything yet.â She teases, her eyes still locked on the ego-stroking mess she made of you.Â
âSuch a diââ You cut yourself off to moan sharply.Â
Sevikaâs thumb came in contact with your swollen clit, the rough pad of her thumb making perfect circles; the rest of her fingers positioned in the patch of hair crowning above it.
âHow fast do you think youâll come? Iâm thinking,â she pretends to, only to press her thumb over your clit. Filthy words flutter from your lips, and you instinctively grind into her touch. âThree minutes?âÂ
You look pissed between your bouts of pleasure; it molds together attractively. Sevika canât wait to make it break, make you cry, and fuck the attitude out of you. âWhat? You should see how wet you are; youâd think I already fucked you.âÂ
She feels the way you twitch at her words, and it makes the pressure between her legs unbearable. She should just strip and grind her cunt into you, but she knows she wonât be able to stop there. Fuck her stupid life; sheâs losing the plot.Â
Her thick forefinger collects your slick as she paths towards your entrance. You twitch as she slides it in, making you gasp. She chuckles as your walls clench around her finger, and she starts pushing it in and out, painstakingly slow.Â
Itâs not enough, yet you canât bring yourself to beg her for more. Itâs at the tip of your tongue, but Sevika was right; you are stubborn. She reads you like a book, and she can read you now. She angles her finger in a way that brushes against your g-spot, but at the same mind-numbingly slow pace.Â
Your body doesnât know what to do; you canât find friction anywhere; you can squeeze against her finger, but it doesnât change her speed; all you can do is writhe in place. âYou look like you need something,â she says, almost like itâs a thought in her head, so condescending, so fucking hot. Your pussy tenses around her finger for the millionth time, and you almost, almost, cry. âYouâre gonna cut my finger off at this rate.â You tense again. She chuckles.Â
âSevâSevika,â you bite your lip to hold down a sharp inhale, but it fails miserably. âSevika, youâre not helping.â
 âShould I stop?â She asks with the tilt of her head. Her finger does stop regardless of the answer.Â
Your hands reach out for her wrist, weakly clawing at it. âNo! No, pl...â You mildly cringe at yourself, turning away.Â
Sevikaâs brows lifted. âWhat was that? Pl...?â She begins her pace again, and you realize you didnât appreciate it enough before. âYou said it once already; come on.âÂ
Your lips tremble, âPleaâseâ?â She barely lets you finish the word before slipping another finger into your drooling cunt. Her pace increases, and you let go of her wrist as you succumb to pleasure.Â
 Your arousal coating her fingers makes the most obscene noises; she wonders if the entire motel can hear it. You try to suppress your moans with your hand, but you can never do it right, not with the way sheâs fucking you. Sevikaâs glad you canât; having one arm wouldâve been even more inconvenient otherwise. She needs to hear you sob out her name at least once. âPlease what?â She leans over you as she slams her fingers into you, pressing them against your wet, ridged, gummy walls.
âYouâreâ fuck, youâre pushing it,â you groan, and just like that, she slows down. But youâre weak, and you crumble. âWait, wait, waitâplease. Please, fuck me... Fuck me to sleep.â You ramble loosely, back to scratching at her wrists again. Thereâs that smile you were thinking about earlier, the one she gets after a big win. She broke you, and she lost the plot ages ago.Â
â
Itâs been an hour, and youâre already on the brink of your third orgasm. Sevika folded and ended up, verbatim, stripping and grinding her cunt into yours. You should be asleep right now, but Sevika said you have enough time to catch up on it before the meeting. You hope thatâs true, but you donât care. You canât get enough of her or her abs flexing with every desperate hump.Â
So intent on getting her rocks off, practically using you for her own pleasure at this pointâyou already came twice now; any more is a bonus, just like the one building up right now. Your eyes are pressed shut, trying to envision your release so it comes quicker. âJust like that. Keep fucking me, please, Sev.â You beg through your teeth and quiet sniffles. Sevikaâs fingers squeeze the meat of your thigh.
She murmurs, âYou,â her movements get sloppier; you can tell sheâs close, âfeel so fucking good.â Now youâre closeâno, you come at her praise.Â
Youâre shaking, grabbing at the sheets that have since slid off the mattress. You forgot how to breathe; all you can feel is your orgasm coursing through you. Your mind is turning fuzzy, and even fuzzier with Sevika still grinding into you. Your moans are pitchy and pornographic; youâre making sounds you didnât even think happened in real life. âSevika...â You sob out from overstimulation, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.
She loves it. âShitâŚâ Sevika moans, followed by several more curses as she shudders out her orgasm. Her vision goes blurry for a second from how hard she came. She tries to control her labored breathing as she comes to, breathlessly calling your name.Â
When she focuses in on you, youâre passed out, fucked out, and peaceful. Sevikaâs pupils dilate at the markings she left on your neck, then to your lips, which sheâs yet to have the chance to kiss. She lets the sleep weighing on her win and carefully collapses beside you.Â
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Ahhh, student!Satoru, who's leaning into the palm of his hand, mouth concealed behind his pale hand, eyes stuck on you. And they've been stuck on you ever since he saw you first walk up the steps into Jujutsu Tech. Bright blue. Heart quivering. Fixed gaze.
He takes any excuse to be near you, even though he knows that you're annoyed by him â he's so cocky and full of himself. But don't you see that he's also just a lovesick boy? Look at the way he follows after you down the halls, long striding legs effortlessly meeting your quick pace.
You're just trying to get a cold soda from the vending machine after a long two hours of practicing martial arts with Satoru, Suguru and Shoko. And since Shoko promptly left with Suguru for a cigarette break, that left an overjoyed Satoru alone with you.
"Which flavor do you usually get?" he asks, grasping at any conversation starter he can think of. He just wants to talk to you, even if it's about something so dumb... even if it's while stood next to a vending machine.
"Uh, strawberry... it's my favorite."
He takes a mental note of that.
He's always trying to get your attention, even if he has to become a fool in order to earn a glance from you. Walking away, looking dumb, even his best friend shakes his head at him and tells him that he's way too downbad for a girl that doesn't even like him back.
But Satoru doesn't listen to anyone when they say that you don't like him back. He knows the chemistry is there, as awkward as it may be sometimes. He knows there's something connecting him and you, like an invisible thread.
He still brings you gifts on V-day. He still pesters you in class. He still shares one earbud with you on train rides. He still gets that accelerated heart beat when you so much as graze your hand over his while walking side-by-side.
So eagerly looking at your lips, Satoru pulls out lip balm and makes eye contact with you while applying it. He's always got chapped lips, he knows because someone made exactly 1 comment about it and now he's never forgotten to put a lip balm in his pocket.
"Whatchya starin' at my lips for? You wanna have a taste of strawberry?" he winks, puckering his kissable lips at you.
"Ough..." you cringe at him, "Satoru, it's no wonder you're single."
Okay, he has zero flirting skills. But he earns a smile out of you right then, so even if he's cringe, he's surely doing something right. Are the cogs turning in your head? Do you think he's cute? Do you want to kiss him should he lean into a kiss oh he's leaning into a kiss now aaand he nearly falls flat on his face, because you didn't notice that he was leaning in for a kiss and now he just has to play it off and look like a dumbass once again.
His feelings grow exponentially as the years pass.
You're always catching him staring and he doesn't even feel ashamed.
Though it's been on his mind all the time, it's not until after three years of knowing you that Satoru kisses you.
It happens one day during heavy rainfall. He runs to you with a grin, no umbrella, totally soaked, and like a bright-eyed bunny he bounces at your side.
He's unzipping his uniform jacket, hanging it over the two of you. The proximity has his heart thumping. Before he knows it, he's leaning down to kiss you, right there as the two of you are concealed from the world in your own little bubble â in reality, everyone knows that you two are liplocking under Satoru's jacket. Duh. His shoes click on the ground as he repositions himself, bending his knees and arching down to meet your lips, 'till his spine gets angry at him for falling for a short girl.
#just a lil thought i had been chewing for a while#fluff#satoru#gojo#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#gojo fluff#jjk fluff#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x you#gojo satoru#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk drabbles#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#satoru gojo x reader#gojo jjk#jjk satoru#jujutsu satoru
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