#it is a normal very Allistic amount of liking

[infiniteglitterfall]

/growling in deep ancient gremlin voice/

MINE.

/reblogs, crouching over the post like a feral creature trying to both protect and somehow consume it with my very essence/

Tim Storrier (b.1949) - Bowl of Stars. 1994. Lithograph.

[0zeeraa0]

A little Fnaf Movie rant (don't kill me, I also want this movie to be good)

(this post is pretty big, i understand if you don't have the patience for it)

(if you see any typos: no, you did not.)

Am I the only one who thinks that the fnaf movie isn't gonna live up to the hype...? Like I don't think it's gonna be bad, but I doubt it's gonna be as spectacular as we hope it will be.

One of the reasons that I'm a bit worried is the little girl. Michael's sister. Like in the trailer she's shown wondering around the pizzaria, and than in a TAXI with GOLDEN FREDDY, like????? HUH???? I have a feeling that the movie is gonna make her befriend the animatronics and like prove to Mike and Vanessa that "they just misunderstood🥺" Which like... THEY ARE, but that would be a horrible way to go about that plot line. And I kinda feel like they shouldn't be intelligent enough, or self aware enough to make friends y'know?

Also Vanessa. This one's gonna be shorter. I hope to god they're not gonna have a romantic plot line between her and Michael. One thing I really like about the fnaf games (haven't read the books yet, sorry) that there's absolutely no romance. And I feel like it should stay that way.

Now the "horror". I KNOW that the original games didn't have any gore. And I'm not saying the movie has to have it. I just want it to be SCARY. Or creepy at the very least. The games didn't have gore, but they were still HORROR GAMES, y'know. They're 16+. I remember that the movie makers tweeted something like "we're not gonna hold back on the gore" or "I'm not sure if we can even show this". But... The movie is going to be 13+... So that was a fuckin lie. Because what the hell is a pg13 HORROR movie supposed to be??? Like IT 2017 is rated R, but theres a surprisingly little amount of actual gore. And despite the R rating, sooo many teens and preteens love the move. So who is the Fnaf movie's target audience with it's pg13 rating. The same kids who ONLY played/watched Security Breach? Be so FR.

I feel like (based on the trailers) that the movie is going to take a more comedic approach, wich wouldn't be a problem, but it seems that it's going to be more significant then the horror aspect.

You know how Stranger Things stared out in s1 as a mystery/horror, and by s4 it got derailed into... that. I'm just worried that the same will happen to fnaf... Like it ALMOST happened with SB, but that's a game. It's a lot harder to access, so it still mostly stayed within the fnaf community. Like, 'normal' allistic Jessica (this isn't an actual person, just an example) is a lot less likely to watch a SB gameplay, or more so, play the game. But she might watch the movie because it's popular. And I REALLY don't want Michael to get "Eddie Munson-ified", okay??? I don't want the thing that shaped my entire childhood to get the TikTok treatment.

Sorry this post got really out of hand by the end. I just had to get this out of myself, otherwise I just might explode.

If the movie turns out to be a Masterpiece of fiction, that makes all original fnaf fans weep at how absolutely perfect it is, than y'all can come back here and laugh at me in the comments all you want. I will admit that I was wrong, and I'll do so with pure happiness, for having my expectations subverted in a positive way

And if I'm right.... well.... I will not be happy about it, or proud. I will not say "I told you so". I will keep my mouth shut, and I'll wallow in my misery in silence. Mourning what it could've been.

(theres so much more that i could say about this movie that hasn't even come out yet, but i think this is more than enough)

[smoky-impressions]

as an auDHDer, this should be required viewing for any autistic people and those in relationship with us (allistic or autistic). i loved this video and wanted to type out a summary / reword / add my thoughts in order to learn more deeply.

"is the person actually following up with you after they have done what they needed to do to recoup their energy or are they kind of just leaving you off on your own to figure out what is going on? ... honest and intentional communication should not be a luxury but a necessity."

100% red flag. i am a kind and compassionate disabled, neurodivergent person and i have put out so much energy to try and fix problems that were not mine to fix. i have pushed myself passed my limits on so many occasions for people (and for someone) who were very clearly not willing to meet me even 10% of the way.

"i can't have a relationship because of my disability vs. i can't have a relationship with another person because i am unwilling to reprioritise things in my life so i can give this person the amount of basic respect that they deserve when it comes to having a reciprocal relationship."

i could not have said it better. using disability as a cudgel to silence conversation that makes you uncomfy, especially around feelings, is not okay. examine why you do that constantly and maybe grow around that weakness. seems to be a trend of men doing this to women (and AFAB people) as a way to get out of doing any emotional labour in relationships. this will make people resentful of you. it is hard to be present with big emotions and ask for what you need. look, maybe you do not have male role models of this behaviour. you can still look to the non-men around you for examples of how to be more reciprocal, more giving, more fair in relationships.

she makes the point in the video that you have to get to know your barriers, your limitations, your needs, AND communicate them in productive ways to your partner(s) / close people. make plans for when you feel a period of burnout coming on and act while you still have the ability to do so to set those plans in motion. you cannot expect other people to do this for you and mind-read your emotions and thoughts when you are burning out, expect them to constantly be scanning and inquiring about your energy and current capabilities for you, expect them to essentially parent you. abdicating the responsibility to communicate your inner life onto your close people is unfair. it also prevents you from doing the meaningful work of your own self-growth.

your close people will want you to grow, develop, and improve your understanding of each other, and evolving your communication style together over time can be a part of this. the point about letting the other person know what you want to do about/during the burnout is not just about some way to police each other to death with accountability. she offers that this can be a way for your close people to know that you will be okay, and some ideas of things to pepper in the "normal" phases of the relationship to prevent relapse into burnout, which i found really sweet. taking time to take naps, being out in nature, crocheting or crafting together, those would all be super endearing to hear a friend of mine wanted to do.

not making the effort to communicate with loved ones in a reciprocal way around burnout being described as "careless" and "harmful" is another important point. the autistic person being able to just come and go any time while the other person is left waiting and bereft of any reassurance or idea of how you are doing IS uncaring and harmful. it is sometimes, as she says, tantamount to abuse, or at the very least, repeatedly being taken advantage of, when they are always taken for granted like this, or at worst, discarded whenever burnout strikes. when you say you need space and give a timeline for recovery or when you will get back to your loved ones, the ball is in your court to actually do so and not hurt them with repeated disappointment. or at least, engage in concerned repair work when you fail to meet your word. the point about asking for reminders is also important, especially if you are auDHD, and would be a basic courtesy your close people would be happy to do.

she says it does not mean never having relationships because of your autism, but rather putting in the work to establish systems, boundaries, communication styles, and healthy reciprocity with your loved ones. learning what you need to accommodate yourself and how others can do the same (green flag: people who love you will do this enthusiastically!) and so you are not harming others.

[weebsinstash]

Allister's vet appointment isn't for another two hours and I'm debating canceling it because, I just have a hunch he threw up because of his motility medicine (cisapride), and this morning he's still taking small bites but he seems like he's doing alright and I could really use to save the money, but, his appetite is still really weak and the only medicine they've given me to stimulate his appetite really isn't supposed to be taken with his motility meds because there's a rare side effect of it causing cardiac dysrhythmias so im just... reluctant to give it to him, and the night i gave it to him it made a very mild difference in how much he ate anyways

I would feel more at piece if they could examine him and give me a clear bill of health, tell me his colon looks ok, but the money, you know... maybe if they xray him it'll turn out he's not hungry because he's full of gas and they can give me something for that but, I just am getting really nervous about his appetite. Maybe it's just permanantly decreased now but some days he eats more than others. Maybe this is his new normal now? But then again, having him seen and xrayed is, only like, two days of work, so, I can afford it I guess.

It could all eventually come down to, his diet has changed and his body is still adjusting. If i take him in and have him examined and xrayed that's going to be close to 200, so im just... I'm just unsure. There are too many factors that are tripping me up between trying to get him his daily amount of calories and the food itself potentially causing side effects and I guess maybe it'd be worth it to go in just to speak with them

[hyperlexichypatia]

World Autism Day -- "Shifting the Overton Window Even Further" edition!

I'm pleased and heartened that the message of autism acceptance has started, ever so slightly, to become mainstream. Great! Now let's push for more. Here is a list, in no particular order, of principles I want to affirm for World Autism Day.

1. Autistic people are people.

2. Autism is not (classified as) a psychiatric disability/mental illness, but almost all autistic people also qualify for at least one psychiatric diagnosis.

3. Therefore, civil rights issues of psychiatrically disabled/ mentally ill/ mad people are also autistic civil rights issues.

4. It's common for autistic people to have exceptional talents in specific areas. It's not okay to call those talents "splinter skills" or "savant skills."

5. Our human value and right not to be exterminated does not come from having exceptional talents. It comes from our personhood.

6. Autistic people whose talents you can't identify, whose talents you don't see as important, or whose talents aren't economically valuable are still people.

7. All people have the right to be presumed competent to make their own decisions in life.

8. That includes autistic people.

9. That includes people who can't talk well and who type to communicate.

10. That includes people who can't talk well and who need assistance typing to communicate.

11. That includes people who don't have a job or a traditional source of income.

12 That includes people who need help with daily self-care tasks.

13. Yes, even people who need help using the bathroom.

14. That includes people who get low scores on IQ tests.

15. That includes people who have never been given an IQ test because it's just assumed that they'd get very low scores.

16. That includes people with psychiatric disabilities.

17. That includes people with the really "bad" "scary" "serious" psychiatric disabilities.

18. "Functioning" isn't a thing. It isn't a meaningful concept. Humans aren't machines. We don't have a "function" beyond existing.

19. What people generally mean by "functioning" is "meeting certain arbitrarily-selected culturally normalized goals in socially acceptable ways."

20. Because the concept of which skills and goals constitute "functioning" is socially constructed and fairly arbitrary, the concept of "functioning" is inseparable from institutional discrimination.

21. There is no such thing as an intrinsic ability, separate from external social constructs, to do things like "hold a job" or "graduate school" or "live independently," since the definitions and requirements of institutions like "job" and "school" and "independent living" are all socially constructed.

22. Saying "Some of the challenges of autistic people are from functioning impairments, and others are from institutional discrimination and ableism," while well-meaning, is Not Even Wrong, since the definition of "functioning" is also a product of institutional ableism.

23. Attempting to redefine "functioning" to encompass intangible qualities like "happiness" or "fulfillment" is similarly well-meaning but Not Even Wrong.

24. "General intelligence" is also not a thing. People have different degrees of natural aptitude for learning many different kinds of concepts and skills.

25. Most people with a low natural aptitude for learning certain skills can still improve those skills with time and practice.

26. Making decisions about one's own life does not require any particular aptitude for analogies or shapes or math.

27. A person's age is the amount of time that has transpired since that person's birth. That's it. There is no such thing as "mental age," "emotional age," "developmental age," or "developmental level."

28. There is no such thing as "developmentally appropriate."

29. There is no such thing as a "fully mature" human brain.

30. It's okay for adults to like media aimed at younger audiences.

31. Allistic (non-autistic) adults sometimes get judged for enjoying "children's" media, too, but allistic adults who like children's media get concern-trolled in clickbait articles, while autistic adults who like children's media get stripped of their civil rights.

32. Believing that one type of genetic trait is better or more desirable than another is bigotry.

33. Trying to prevent a genetic condition is eugenics. The belief that certain genetic conditions should be prevented is eugenics.

34. Eugenics is morally wrong.

35. Yes, always.

36. Eugenic goals are sometimes achieved through reproductive practices like sterilization or abortion, but that isn't what makes eugenics wrong. What makes eugenics wrong is the belief that some genes are better than others.

37. It is okay for informed, consenting adults to try to change their own cognition (through drugs or other methods).

38. It is also okay to refuse interventions designed to change cognition.

39. Both choices are equally valid. Neither choice should be framed as "doing the right thing" or "being responsible" or "setting a good example."

40. It is not okay to force drugs, therapies, or health practices on other people against their will.

41. Not even if they're psychiatrically or intellectually disabled.

42. Whatever hypothetical scenario you're about to ask "But what about...?" -- no, not even then.

43. Most autistic stereotypes made up by allistic people are dehumanizing, offensive, and inaccurate.

44. Except the ones about autistic people liking trains. Those are pretty much true.

45. Autistic (and otherwise neurodivergent) people have always existed, so historical figures and other dead people should not be presumed allistic by default. Neuroqueer your history.

46. Autistic people are between 1% and 2% of the general population, so you probably know at least one. If you don't think you know any, they're probably closeted.

47. The correct terms for autistic people are "autistic people" or "people with autism" (some people prefer one over the other, but neither is inherently offensive) or, if you want to be a bit more florid, "people on the autistic spectrum." The correct terms for people who are not autistic are "allistic people" or "non-autistic people." The correct term for people whose cognitive patterns are considered "normal" and privileged by the society they live in is "neurotypical people."

48. Universal design should be default design.

49. Autism Speaks is a hate group, ABA is dehumanizing in theory and often abusive in practice, institutions shouldn't exist, guardianship is a civil rights violation, 95% of violent crime is committed by neurotypical people, regulating brains is not equivalent to regulating guns.

50. Trains actually are awesome.

[cangrellesteponme]

I've thought about it so much I came to the conclusion BOTH Sebastian and Claude are two different types of autistic demons, and maybe it's rare in demons so BOTH these guys are weirdos among their own kind. IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

my autistic ass agrees. so I must elaborate.

(for the sake of this, we're putting aside the fact that this hc is completely incompatible with any and all things canon.)

first, reasons they're autistic:

they're very bad at pretending to be human. you'd think millennia spent observing humans would help them suck a little bit less, but they really don't understand human behaviour at all. (just like me fr)

weird humans special interest.

repeating the same phrases a lot. this one gets two autism points because it's both scripting and a vocal stim. like, I know damn well these hoes just love saying their "yes my lord" "yes your highness" bs and their butler mottos.

butler cosplay.

low empathy. (I know that's a controversial one because it's not as common as allistics think it is, but I'm not about to go on a tangent about undesirable autistic traits and ableism) this one is not enough on its own because... why would a demon feel empathy for a human when that's a whole different species, but some people feel bad for bugs so I'm taking this as these demon butlers presenting yet another autistic trait!

picky eaters. like... seb would rather starve than eat bad food. that is autistic behaviour.

being very specific about phrasing. people never focus on what is said, but rather on what it means... unless they're autistic. (we see hannah be normal about words all the time so we can assume it's really just claude and sebastian who love being way too precise.) also seb did pretend to misinterpret o!ciel's words during the contract negotiation just to force the kid to always be direct and literal with his orders - that is peak autistic behaviour. as for claude... there are so many different instances of this in kuro 2, but him not having a clear contract with alois is another example of "you better be precise or shit will happen to you".

weirdos. pathetic loners. probably got bullied by other demons smh.

I can only think of claude examples for this one but I'm sure there are a few for seb: unmasking and being really fucking weird. think of the knitting, the disney princess shit, the tap dancing, being a weird ass spider, licking blood...

both preferring a much smaller amount of servants than what is socially acceptable.

being naturally fucking terrifying. they are autism creatures in the most horrific sense. we have the spider guy with the long tongue and the dude who's mostly black goop with teeth.

there are plenty of other reasons, but these are the most obvious ones they have in common.

them being autistic in two different ways:

flat affect vs way too dramatic. claude won't be caught dead emoting like a normal person, sebastian constantly looks deeply offended or amused by everything he sees... two very different behaviours. both autistics.

attachment to objects and animals. so, about the empathy thing, plenty of autistic people who would be categorised as low-empathy are the type to love animals and apologise to furniture - that's seb. the rest don't give a single fuck about anyone or anything - that's claude.

visual stimulation is superior vs no thoughts only tactile stim. this is me projecting and saying every autistic bitch with glasses likes wearing them a little too much but I'd say claude clearly cares a lot about colours (constantly changing everything at the trancy manor... I see how it is) while we have sebastian who likes petting cats, cares about the fine fabric of his coat enough to talk about it in the middle of a fight, is horrified when tea is poured on his hands... very stimmy demons.

ANYWAY

they're autistic, your honour.

[asexual-society]

CW: mental health, maybe?

So I'm a little confused if these labels contradict each other... Is it possible to be demisexual but also experience hypersexuality/hyperromantic attraction and a strong sex drive once you feel that emotional connection has been made? I don't make friends that easily, and don't really enjoy the idea of casual hookups/short term relationships/one night stands, but I also tend to fall for people I consider true friends quite quickly. Additionally, I have difficulty determining if my attractions are platonic or romantic and more often than not, whenever I start getting close enough to a new trusted friend I begin to develop a sudden intense, romantic infatuation for them that may or may not involve fantasizing about them in a sensually intimate and sometimes sexual way. Would this be classified as Demisexual Hyperromantic? Some kind of Demi-flux or Grey-flux orientation? Is this just a form of neurodivergence (diagnosed autism/ADHD, seeking possible BPD diagnosis) overlapping with demisexuality? Any insight at all would be appreciated.

Hey anon! Yeah, I think it's totally normal for a demisexual person (or any acepec person!) to have a strong sex drive, regardless of whether or not they're in a relationship or even experiencing sexual or romantic attraction. Being hypersexual has nothing to do with orientation, and while some asexual people can find any amount of libido/sex drive they feel to be distressing, this isn't a universal experience (meanwhile, hypersexuality is typically distressing by definition, and may be linked to your neurodivergence (or may not)). I'd actually never heard of 'hypperromantic' as a descriptor before looking it up just now, you learn something new every day. As far as I can gather it's not a recognised medical term like hypersexuality is, although I won't go into my thoughts on it either as a counterpoint to hypersexuality or its common usage here.

As an autistic person you might form close relationships differently to an allistic person, and how you feel within those relationships might also be different, so two things can be true, just like you might find it hard to differentiate between different forms of attraction because of your neurodivergence, or it might be unrelated. Many autistic people feel like their asexuality or aromanticism is closely tied to their autism and many do not (as someone who may be autistic, I personally feel like my asexuality and aromanticism are closely tied to how other autistic people perceive me as autistic, but I've been IDing as aro and ace way longer than I've even considered being autistic so I don't see them as connected at all. A psychologist may disagree, but it's not up to them what or how you feel).

It's fine to have thoughts of an intimate/romantic/sensual/sexual nature like that about people you're close to, regardless of how you actively and consciously feel about them because brains love to test things out like that. To put it simply, if you find you really want to act on those thoughts then that's a good sign it's attraction you're feeling, but if you don't or you think you would but not so much that you're drawn to do it, then it might not be. I sometimes think about kissing my friends, and there are some of my friends I would kiss, for example, but I wouldn't go out of my way to try it, I'm mostly just touch starved.

For demisexual people there's no rule to say how often you feel the strong bond you need for the possibility for sexual attraction to happen, it might be very rare that you feel a strong bond and even rarer to experience attraction following it, or it might happen a lot. If you feel like your demisexuality fluctuates over time and sometimes you feel more ace or allo and at other times you feel more demi, then you could be demiflux if that's a label that feels helpful to you, but if not, you don't have to use it.

Hope this helps anon!

~ mod key

[murderoushagthesequel]

guys i'm SO normal about the marauders you don't understand

i like them a normal amount in a very neurotypical, allistic way. yeah.

i'm sitting and chatting with regulus black rn

[autimind]

Pathologizing autism

There is something rotten about the way society talks about autism. In short, people pathologize what we do. They call it sick because we do it.

Here is a list of eight characteristics from a Dutch psychological education platform. A serious, government-sponsored one too.

little reciprocity

trouble with non-verbal communication

taking things literally

difficulty maintaining reliationships

sticking to routines

difficulty with changes

rigid in thinking and conduct

oversensitive to stimuli

So what's wrong?

All of these are true, for some value of true.

The problem is in the way these are phrased and certainly in the way only negative terms are used to describe how we live.

little reciprocity

Have they ever witnessed two autistics rapidly and happily talking through some subject in minute and interconnected detail? It is glorious to behold and heady to be part of.

A realistic view, now supported by actual research, is that ND-ND pairs easily create rapport, just like NT-NT pairs do.

There is often little reciprocity among NT-ND pairs because the NT part will demand adherence to their own mode of communicating and if their needs aren't met, talking will break down. For a minor rant with some more detail see And they call us rigid. Also see below.

trouble with non- verbal communication

Why should 70%-93% be non-verbal? This is common with NT people and they are 44 in 45 humans or thereabouts but these people are apparently very flexible and good with change. Is it such a sacrifice to listen to the actual words at times in order to help us?

Isn't it entirely understandable that I don't catch sarcasm when someone else matches their body language to their phrasing and only afterwards bursts out laughing and claims it was sarcasm? By the way, some people have a nasty habit of saying impolite or harsh stuff and then when you react negatively claiming it was a joke all along and claiming you just didn't get it.

Isn't it necessary to talk about the staggering amount of misunderstanding that NT's suffer from among themselves? They can't reliably read the inner workings of others' minds from their faces, stance and gestures. They just think they can. It is in that erroneous notion that arguments and even entire feuds start. All without an autistic necessarily even being nearby.

taking things literally This is not something autistics do or at least not in the way people picture it. I have never met anyone who honestly thought 'laughing your head off' actually means laughing so hard that your head spontaneously separates from your neck.

Now that I come to think about this.. it is a rather grisly metaphor. I am no specialist in this area but I suppose even after snapping the spine, tearing the many muscles and other fibers that attach the head to the body would take an impressive amount of force. It could of course be sliced off but that isn't naturally part of the metaphor. See, that is what thinking literally can be like.

ANYWAY, it is more healthy and social to realise that people tend to take eachother literally when understanding breaks down. This is easier to understand when you picture just barely speaking another language and trying to speak it on holiday. You won't get any of the idiom, very few of the cultural references and so on. So .. you take literally what you do understand. See Taking things literally.

Autistics have a different Theory of Mind and communicate differently, build up understanding bottom-up where allistics understand top-down and looking far more for the facts of any matter than its social dimensions. All of that makes it very easy to misunderstand and so we take things literally. There is nothing else left. The allistic blithely assumes they're normal and in the right. It is however fairly cruel to scold someone for taking your words literally when it is the very last tool they have. It is like kicking a puppy.

difficulty maintaining relationships

Lots of people have difficulty maintaining reliationships. This is not a core characteristic of autism but a result of various complications. You might as well claim that autistics have trouble holding on to a job or have trouble being represented on forums that talk about us.

A relationships needs at its very essence mutuality. Even in very imbalanced powered-up relationships like you see in employment there is a tacit understanding that both parties stick to the (unwritten) social rules. Since autistics don't do authority well, especially if it is not based on actual merit or at least a decent explanation, professional relationships easily break down.

Friendships also need mutuality but more in the sense that both friends understand what the other would take from the relationship and are okay with that.

sticking to routines

This one is primarily true but it is not essential. Underneath the hood, by far most autistics need the world to be understandable and predictable. This we share with allistics. It is the very reason that fantasy exists as the Ur-literature. Almost all humans prefer living in a world that is somehow ordered and just. As Terry Pratchett explained it, children already know that dragons exist but fairy tales allow them to believe that dragons can be killed.

The routines and their importance to us are, again, a result and not some core trait. We don't stick to routines because we are somehow 'routinessent'. It is outward conduct and I find it notable that allistic understanding of how we are once again looks at the surface and no further.

difficulty with changes

This one, in my personal opinion, has a lot to do with the excruciating speed with which allistics can implement changes without any explanation provided. They just assume that because everything is clear in their own heads, this must somehow be true of the world. Others can either keep up or be scolded.

Is it really too much trouble to stand still for a few seconds, ask someone if it is okay to change an agreed upon plan on a whim and wait for an answer?

Let us note that allistics can be sticklers for their own plans. That plan might include any number of steps and modes of action but the plan to them is most often sacrosanct. It is us auti's that are positively used to being talked over, forced to change our prediction of the near future and just having to keep up or get lost.

rigid in thinking and conduct Any allistic who actually does act or think rigidly will call themselves straightforward or consistent. Maybe both. It is only when an autistic person sticks to a line of reasoning or way of doing something that it gets called rigid.

Autistics often enough think far more logically then the average allistic is willing to do, most probably because they tend to see social intersections as always an important part of any situation.

Another important part of this sorry mess is that autistic children and (young) adults are often taught by rote memorization. If you tell an auti-kid that they should always be honest and forthright then by Jove they will do so. If the poor kid then says something a parent finds awkward or embarrassing, they'll react with something like 'Stop! Why are you doing that?! Never do that again!!" So the kid remembers: be honest and forthright and shut up. And so on and so forth.

When an autistic doesn't understand something, anything really, then it is usually attributed to the autism. "Oh, he doesn't understand. He has that disorder." However, if an allistic doesn't understand one of us, we should learn to communicate more clearly.

The social world is complicated for us and far too many autistics have been and are being beaten into epistemic submission. The result is fawning behaviour, desperately trying to act correctly. The only tool left then is to learn it all by heart and that results in rigid behaviour.

This is not an autistic trait. It is autistic trauma.

oversensitive to stimuli

This one is more or less true, of many autistics. There is a tremendous variety within the spectrum, though. One autistic may not have sensory issues at all, others will just be overstimulated by one sense, others by several senses and a few really can't deal with any stimulus without discomfort.

However, we can again ask why the social spaces that we do move in absolutely have to be so bright and so loud. In actual fact, I believe that the mere intensity of some stimulus is often enough not the main problem. I listen to very loud music at times and enjoy it very much. However, having to listen to four different conversations at once is very quickly painful for me, even if they aren't all that loud. Asking too much of our ability to process in real-time seems to me to be the primary concern when it comes to stimuli.

Why do stores positively have to pump music from speakers? All I came to do was get groceries. Or a pair of trousers. Why do stores have to be lit so very brightly? I am thinking of starting a low-stimulus hour campaign in my town. It would help far more than calling a sensitivity autistic.

Isn't this the central theme of talking about characteristics? Any actual ally would always at least try to understand and accomodate, not use autism as an explanation and be done with it.

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

hi! pls ignore this if it's too personal but if i may:

would you mind sharing what was pointed out about your love of pathologic on your diagnosis? i'm not diagnosed but i have my suspicions and whenever i get a new special interest it seriously feels like. my serotonin supply. to a concerning amount. anyway i just wanted to see how similar my feelings are to yours w patho!

i hope you have a great weekend!

Oh it’s not too personal! I actually find a lot of this stuff really interesting!!

So the DSM5 diagnostic criteria for autism right now has two major categories, A and B, with B separated into 4 smaller categories.(There’s some flaws with this system but we’re gonna ignore that for now!)

Anyway one of those 4 categories is defined as “Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus” which is honestly pretty non-specific??

From my understanding, most formal autism assessments follow are structured like a test? Mine followed more of an interview format. (I think it was because the psychiatrist I saw mostly assesses adults? So she didn’t find the tests, which are kinda geared towards kids, that helpful??) Anyway she basically just asked about my interests to see what would happen.

I talked about a few things,especially pathologic since it was a recent example, and bam now it’s in the diagnostic breakdown for the rest of time.

Anyway if you’re wondering about like. Special interests and stuff. From what I can tell the difference from “normal” interest is just how pervasive they are. Like they’re really intense or take up a lot of thought at a given time, or they show up “without appropriate stimulus” whatever that means. A lot of autistics find joy in knowing or experiencing as much as they can about a given interest, apparently to an extent or intensity not seen in most allistic folks? So I’ve spent hundreds of hours of my life consuming pathologic content, or drawing the characters, or talking about it with friends (who mostly have no idea what I’m saying, love you guys). I also just rotate the little characters in my head if I need something to think about. They make me happy :)

Also, as a side note, special interest type things also just vary from interest to interest. Like they can be very all consuming for a short period of time, or just a facet of most of your life. One thing I learned from talking to my psychiatrist was that the sort of separation between a “special interest” and “hyperfixation” folks on the internet tend to use isn’t really well defined.

I can’t speak for any other autistics, obviously, but I hope this helps!!And also isn’t too long I did not mean to type this much whoops

[goodhealthyshiningcara]

Ok I'm going to weigh in on this (always a bad idea) because I think it's strawmanning allistic eye rolling (new sentence never before said).

The up and down flick (↕️), the complete roll(🔄), and, unmentioned, the DIAGONAL flick (henceforth ↗️), are all DISTINCT MOVES, with DISTINCT PURPOSES.

Preface: Im not going to say something like "nice try autists, but you've fallen for my biggest trick yet: unwritten social cues!" To justify why the phenomena I'm describing are distinct, so please also do me the courtesy of acknowledging that even allistics are not always 100% masters of social cues (and I am certainly not 100% of either!) so maybe the people ↕️ing around you are mere babes, children not yet grown, who do truly mean to 🔄, but whose unsteady motions betray them. But I think not.

Preface the second: ↕️ and 🔄 exist on a spectrum, and up then to the side, i.e a mix of the two, tends to be be the accepted implementation, since ↕️ actually has non-🔄 uses. 🔄 Is a subset of ↕️ in other words.

Also, one more nitpick: an up and down motion is still rolling back and forwards, and thus is still Technically an eye roll. It rolls backwards (up) then it rolls forwards (down), like, you know, a rolling pin? (Checkmate, autists) You didn't interpret things more literally, you just interpreted them less flexibly. Also, I don't want anyone to say the words pitch or yaw in the notes, those are not words that people know or use.

Ok. Eye rolling.

🔄 is a highly exclusive maneuver, in particular because it's very exaggerated, too much so for everyday use. It is used for emphasis, when a "normal" eye roll (↕️ or ↗️) would be insufficient. In a normal eye roll, there is an implication that you are looking for something (like a 4th wall break, or a higher power, or inner strength etc). With 🔄, that implication is exaggerated to make a point (I'm looking ANYWHERE for a possible reason to respect what I just heard), but it's all for show because actually, rolling your eyes like that doesn't let you see anything; it's purely for drama. It's also a bit combative, imo, because a less exaggerated version exists (↕️) for when faux-annoyance is called for.

↕️: This is the most common eye roll, and it is meant to communicate exasperation, with the implications described above, but also "I am containing my rage/annoyance by not looking at your dumb face for one second, for even such a brief reprieve will save me relative aeons of torment". Similarly "If I look up here, I can pretend I didn't see what you just said". It's also a way of saying "sigh, this shit again." This is what people tend to use because it's easier and less dramatic, and conveys everything 🔄 does. It is still some amount of dramatic however, and not something to be used with a stranger/within a professional relationship unless you want to seem hostile/rude. Importantly, you can roll your eyes in agreement with someone, and that's fine to do, and actually very sympathetic if you pull it off.

↗️: now I posit that this exists as actually a more thoughtful version of ↕️, almost like 🤔. It's like, hm, I have to mentally track and analyze what you just said because it's somewhat confusing or complicated. In this case, you're looking away not because you are fucking tired of someone's clown -looking mug, but because you need to think and are trying to NOT receive more information from them. You are saying "timeout, wtf are the implications of that". Your eyes are leaving the spatial plane occupied by your co-conversator to linger in the middle distance so your brain can catch up. ↘️ Works for this too. You may instead be putting important information in your memory palace for later, in a diagonal location. Like ok, I am remembering what was just told to me. Typically this is something you just "pepper in" to a conversation so as not to interrupt your conversation partner, and it may require you to say "ok, noted, got it" etc afterwards. Can be used to tease by doing it ironically of course.

In summary:

They are all eye rolls, they occupy specific body-language niches, your art has failed you, and you were insufficiently literal.

[calcified--heart]

My autism movies

for @frootbatzz my beloved

FANTASTIC MR FOX

Monster high boo York boo York

Barbie princesses charm school

Barbie a fairy secret

Spree

Clueless

Legally blonde

Mean girls

The craft

Girl, interrupted

It chapter one

The fear street trilogy

Do revenge

Howls moving castle (my name is Calcifer, I may have gone overboard with the autisms)

coraline

Paranorman

The Lego ninjago movie

The amazing Spiderman

The amazing Spiderman two

X

Jennifer's body

[luxlightly]

While I agree that there are more things nowadays to overwhelm autistic people specifically than in past times in history, I think that's not the main reason that we're seeing such intense rates of autistic burnout. To the point where it's becoming difficult or impossible for many otherwise highly independent autistics, like myself, to hold standard employment without incurring serious damage to our minds and bodies.

Burnout is not exclusive to autism, of course. It's the expending of too much mental and physical energy over too long a period of time until periods of rest can no longer make up for it and the body and mind basically just give up completely. Autistic burnout is specifically related to the extra energy that autistic people have to expend in order to "mask" and try to function in neurotypical society and to deal with overwhelming sensory input

I don't think that the rates at which autistics are burning out (and by extension, being diagnosed more often since diagnosis is often withheld from anyone able to manage their symptoms) is because that sensory input is just so much more intense nowadays or really anything to do with it being worse now for autistics in particular.

I think the working world, especially within the millennial and older gen z generations, is on the brink of total burn out. Autistic people just are hitting it a bit earlier due to the added factors of normal autistic stressors. That extra expending of energy pushed us over the edge into burnout but the rest of the world is not far behind. Allistics are running on the energy that autistics had to spend already but it can't last very long and I think it won't be long until we have an entire workforce that's functionally completely disabled for an indeterminate amount of time.

The world of employment is rapidly becoming completely uninhabitable and autistic people are the canaries of this particular coal mine.

[goqmir]

this is so real like. i feel like i struggle to see the similarities between me and traditionally autistic traits because i in theory dont have those traits (like a struggle with eye contact) because i have been training myself every day of my life to explicitly not struggle with those specific things that other people seem to just be able to do normally. and then when im around autistic people (which is literally 97% of the time) i dont have to do those things because theres no expectation for me to do it

i think what really made me realize im neurodivergent is the difference i feel now when i talk to allistic people because of the sheer amount of time i spend comfortably in the presence of like exclusively neurodivergent people. not that i dislike being around neurotypical people but its very different and kind of like. exhausting

the way people talked about masking was so foriegn to me and one of the main things that i felt i couldnt relate to the majority of autistic people on until a plane ride a couple weeks ago where i spent two connected flights talking to the same girl and i could literally hear my internal monologue clearly saying "okay what would a normal girl say in response to this. how would a regular girl giggle at that joke. in what way would the average college girl explain the pokemon romhack im playing on my ds" like i HEARD it i FELT myself doing this on purpose to try to make myself seem idk less neurodivergent and transgender? and i realized my whole life ive kinda been doing that. and it was crazy

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

[maddymoreau]

The amount of people I see online write about how Gordie is a spoiled brat and super ungrateful for Melony (ᇂᴗᇂ|||) BLOWS ME AWAY!!! Like did we play the same game?!?!

“buT mElOnY beCAmE tHe FiRsT mEmBeR oF gOrDiE's FaN cLuB.”

Only after Melony was an extremely strict coach during Gordie’s entire adolescence. Who raised Gordie to take her place as the Gym Leader of Circhester. As an Ice-type trainer with no input from him.

Then when Gordie finally expresses his dream of dedicating himself to Rock-type Pokémon instead of Ice-type. MELONY DOESN’T SUPPORT HIM!!!

She fights against him to the point it results in a Pokémon battle that divides the whole town. A battle so messy that ever since that day, Melony and Gordie hardly ever see each other.

We know the two were close prior to this considering how much they mirror each other with similar dialogue, poses ETC.

Melony obviously loves her son! Becoming the first member of his fan club was her attempt to show support.

However if you’re in Gordie’s position his mother’s support feels patronizing since she’s been his biggest road block towards his dream!! Gordie is allowed to love his mom while still having complicated feelings!!!

Also Gordie wasn’t the only person affected from the fight between them. In Melony’s normal league card it states, “Many quietly speculate that Melony's harsh battle style is due to a fight she had with her son."

Bonus:

Gordie’s Reaction to losing, “He always tries to keep his fans happy and thus is very popular among the audience. On the other hand, he has the surprising tendency of shutting himself away in the locker room when he is defeated, making postdefeat interviews a rarity. This doesn't bother most of his fans, though, and they see this behavior as endearing."

Gordie putting up a fake smile.

Melony battling with Allister: