#it got long so i put a read more lol

[eddieydewr]

there was a people magazine article I saw just today on another blog saying her big wedding is gonna be in september in the us and she’s gonna have a big celeb guest list including her ST cast so I expect it to be a big event. Seeing as how it’s gonna be in the US I can see more show people being able to attend

I will say I wonder if Millie said what she said about wanting the show to be over *because* she read the scripts and was told she wasn’t gonna have as big of a role as she’s always had. I mean like it or not she’s probably had the most screen time and focus through all the seasons and if she heard she wasn’t gonna get that same level in the last season, we’ll throw in her general annoyance at the schedule preventing her from other roles, then I could see someone as young as her maybe act a little ungrateful . I am not a millie hater but it is a tough pull to swallow for any actor that has a shred of ego

she could also be bitter or upset at how her character ends. I remember the quote of her being told how her character ends up and she said she just walked out of the room like oh. okay. To me that screams she’s not happy about her ending which could color some of her behavior. Be it she’s mad there’s no mileleven or that El dies or something else, it’s obvious to me she was not content with her character ending and she’s gonna have to learn how to handle that shit more professionally in the future cause show writers have ended careers for less (look up Katherine Heigl trashtalking her projects after the fact)

oh wow, it sounds like it’s gonna be a massive do… like kardashian big (but with millie’s style ofc). and they’ll probably have an official publication like the hello! magazine to do a massive spread. i can see the brown and bongiovi families being all for that 🙄 millie and jake having a small, personal ceremony first makes sense. it’s supposed to be about them.

i remember the interview where she reveals she found out how el’s story ends. she could’ve been pretending when she seemed disappointed but i agree, i think in recent times, she came to the realisation that she doesn’t have full control of her character or the story compared to other projects where she had a lot of control because she’s the producer, like enola holmes and damsel. but no, ST belongs to the duffers and they always had an ending for el (and other characters) in mind. i think being allowed to have a few contributions as a kid (suggesting there should be a mlvn kiss at the snowball) led her to think she could get what she wanted, like being the main focus, and mlvn being endgame. her parents hyping her up and keeping her separate from the kids during press and awards ceremonies couldn’t have helped. even if mlvn is endgame, it obviously isn’t gonna go the way she wanted it to be, like getting married and whatever else she used to gush about during interviews. ST isn’t that kind of show and millie just didn’t understand it yet. i think finn always understood the assignment, hence that time when he rolled his eyes at what millie said, naurr 😭

i don’t think she’s gonna be bitter or resentful when it ends, just a bit disappointed and like you said, a tough pill to swallow. i don’t think she means to be difficult but i imagine it’s a bit of a shock to the system when the duffers stopped being her yes men, more or less lmao. like not getting the ending she wants, and the show not killing off loads of characters. this isn’t game of thrones, said the duffers.

but i hope it’s been a good learning oppportunity for her to be mindful and not bite the hand that feeds if she joins other people’s projects in the future. if it’s something she can’t hack entirely then fair enough, but it’ll be ok because she has her own production studio if she wants to be at the helm. imo, she doesn’t plan on being an actor full time. not during her 20s anyway. she supposedly wants a family asap and she seems passionate about animals so she’ll have stuff to focus on. with the money from ST and all her business ventures and side gigs, she can live comfortably for a while :)

[ying-doodles]

drifting closer

a comic based off @lloydfrontera's post about touch averse javier slowly becoming clingy to lloyd after the end of the novel! :> although the touch averse part didn't make it in lol,,

[moongothic]

This is gonna turn into some Crocodad Propaganda eventually but putting the man aside for a little bit

Let's be real for a moment. Regardless of who Luffy's other biological parent is, regardless of if they're relevant to the story or not, no matter what has become of that person, if they're dead or somewhere out there alive, etc-- I believe Oda "knows the truth".

Although it took One Piece until post-Enies Lobby to reveal some of Luffy's blood relatives to us, Oda had technically introduced both Garp and Dragon to us all the way back in the East Blue saga. And Ace was introduced not too long after in the Baroque Works saga, along with his tattoo which held that secret tribute to Sabo all along. (Also he was introduced as "Portgaz D. Ace" meaning Oda must've intended to make the two non-blood brothers from the get-go.) All this means that Luffy's family, both adopted and blood relatives, have been in Oda's mind from the very begining of the story. And so if Oda had figured out Luffy's grandfather, father and at least one brother (if not both) from the begining, then why would he not have decided what became of the person who gave birth to the idiot as well? Like considdering how detail-oriented and meticulous Oda can be, would it not be unusual for him to essentially forget about a character that important (in the sense that Luffy literally would not exist without them) and just handwave them away without much thought? Would that not be out of character for Oda? As such, I don't think it is not unreasonable for us to believe that Oda would know what happened to Luffy's other bio-parent. Mind you, it really could be just something like "Luffy's mother died of The Disease when Luffy was a baby", or "the mom fell down the stairs" or "was eaten by a bear in the woods" or something, anything, whatever. Even if it truly does not matter to the story one bit, I'm sure Oda knows the truth of what happened and why that character wasn't a part of Luffy's life.

But at the same time, if the identity and the fate of Luffy's birthing parent truly did not matter to the story at all, then why wouldn't Oda just tell us who that was and what happened to them? In an SBS or an interview? It's not like people haven't been asking about it, because fans and staff alike have been asking about it for years. If the information really would not change anything, be it the direction the story will take or how we view the characters, if it really is just worthless trivia, then why keep it away from us?

Now of course, I'm sure you'd want to point out that one time Oda told Mayumi Tanaka that "A young boy's adventure begins after he leaves his mother's arms. I want to tell this young boy's adventure story, so his mom is not part of it." And Oda isn't known for lying, we do kind of want to take what he told Mayumi Tanaka at face value. At the same time though. If Luffy's other parent did become a plot relevant character in like the final 200 chapters of the story, after a 1100 chapters, they and their potential connection to Luffy would not have mattered to the story for 90% of its run. For an overwhealming majority of Luffy's adventure, that person would not have been a part of it. So if that character did become relevant, and Oda was lying, then it'd be a white lie at worst. But also, if Oda did intend to reveal that other parent eventually, when the time was right, then surely he wouldn't want to get people hyped up about it way ahead of time. If it did turn out to be a big plot twist or an otherwise important plot point, Oda would want to keep it under the wraps and a secret until the right time, you don't want to spoil something like that. Not to mention it could end up working like a distraction and make people not focus on the more important things happening in the story currently. So really, I think we'd all forgive him for a white lie there. Not to mention, technically speaking, if Luffy doesn't even have a mom but two dads, then Oda wouldn't really be lying either.

But that does bring up an important thing to considder.

If Crocodile does turn out to be Luffy's other dad, when did Oda get that idea, and when would he have committed to it?

Because, keep in mind, One Piece began back in 1997. Twenty seven whole years ago. Which means there's two things to considder; the evolution of queer rights over the past near three decades, as well as the fact that One Piece has more than surpassed Oda's original plans for the series. We must not forget how for a manga to remain serialized in Weekly Shounen JUMP, you need to perform well in the popularity polls consistently; if your manga starts dropping in popularity, JUMP can cancel it and force you end it prematurely. Of course, Oda arguably does not have to worry about those polls anymore after all these decades, there's no way in hell JUMP would ever cancel fucking One Piece in this day and age. But that might not have been the case 15 years ago, that was not the case 20 years ago, and that was absolutely not the fucking case 25 years ago. Like we all famously know that Oda originally planned One Piece to maybe run for like a year, then five years, then ten etc etc. That really is because at the begining of his career he had no quarantee he'd be able to tell the full story he was slow cooking at the back of his mind. Back in the early days, One Piece could've been canceled and ended prematurely, so Oda smartly chose to write it focusing very specifically on what mattered to the story at that moment, in the short term. Yes, he did start laying out the groundwork for things to come, but he did it so subtly that had OP been forced to end early, the series wouldn't have been left with too many massive, gaping plotholes or unresolved sidestories. Another thing to keep in mind is how comic artists for JUMP do have editors etc who can have a say in what goes into the manga (famously, Sasuke only existed because Matashi Kishimoto's editor suggested it). So again, while Oda might be able to do whatever the hell he pleases in One Piece at this point, that wouldn't have been the case 20+ years ago. He would have been more or less at the whims of his editors back in the day.

So would Oda have thought about giving Luffy, the main character of the series, a transgender father back in the year 2000? Could that really have been the secret plan from the start? And would Oda's editor(s) at JUMP have allowed that? Or, did Oda maybe come up with the idea later?

Now just so we're clear, I am NOT suggesting Crocodad was Oda's original intent and that his editors didn't let him do it or anything like that, my tinfoil hat isn't on that fucking tight. What I do want to suggest, is that it is plausible Crocodile being Luffy's other dad was an idea Oda was playing around with at the back of his mind from the begining, but wasn't sure he'd ever get to, mainly due to the uncertainty of series' future and partially because he could've been unsure if his editors would even allow him to write that story. And IF this was the case, Oda may not have even started committing to to the idea until around the CP9 saga. Or, it's possible Oda only got the idea sometime after the completion of the Alabasta arc/during Skypiea saga, and started laying down the groundwork for during Summit War so that, if he ever got around to it, he'd be able to commit and tell that story.

Regardless, let's be real.

It is interesting and kind of suspicious how Crocodile does just happen to be introduced around the same time the rest of Luffy's family was first shown to us, even if we didn't know Garp and Dragon were Luffy's family yet (this was also the same time the first canon queer character was introduced; Oda was playing around with queer characters during Crocodile's introduction, possibly testing the waters to see what he could get away with?) During the CP9 Saga we got the Miss Goldenweek cover story, where we see what's become of Crocodile after the fall of Baroque Works. This is of course adding to the world building of the CP9 Saga (where we're told the criminals who go through Enies Lobby are either sent to Impel Down or to Marineford; so us finding out Crocodile's gone to ID is playing off of what we knew would become of Robin and Franky and the Strawhats not come to rescue them. AND it's foreshadowing for the Summit War Saga), but also, soon after we were reminded of Crocodile and told where he's been sent off to, we were finally formally introduced to Garp and Dragon (Garp having already been mentioned by Aokiji at the begining of the Saga). And we close off the Saga watching Ace and Blackbeard have their fateful match. So again, Crocodile was on Oda's mind around the same time the rest of Luffy's family was. And indeed, after Thriller Bark we then move onto Summit War proper, where Oda does all The Things we would considder The Groundwork for Crocodad, most important being the introduction of Ivankov and their Devil Fruit. But again, just like before, Crocodile just happens to be there at the same time as this saga, which really heavily focuses on Luffy's family, plays out. While we learn about Dragon's secretive nature and connection to Iva-chan, Garp's feelings for the boys, Ace's struggle with his heritage and Luffy's love for him, Sabo and Garp... Yeah, Crocodile's just... Also there.

Whenever Oda starts dwelling into Luffy's family, Crocodile is always there. It's a bizarre coincidence if nothing else.

(And oh won't you look at that, Crocodile has once again become a plot relevant character, just in time for The Final Saga where Dragon has also started becoming actually plot relevant as well)

All of this to say, again.

The fact that Oda has refused to tell us anything about Luffy's other parent is sus, and to me indicates that either although unusual for him Oda genuinely just doesn't give a damn about Luffy's other parent, or he's been trying to play it safe for years so that if he ever got the opportunity, he could give Luffy two dads. (Or maybe there's some other twist that has nothing to do with Crocodile, that is possible too, I just feel like if that was the case then why hide it for 27 years?)

Whatever the case, I'm sure Oda knows the truth.

And I'm sure we will find out the truth eventually, be it on the pages of the comic or in the SBS.

[slavhew]

Hello!

If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?

There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?

OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts

No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:

This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.

Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning

Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.

And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!

Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)

This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that

[sysig]

Guess who :3c (Patreon)

[good-beanswrites]

hi! may i request some mikoto + amane (platonic obvs) … anything? they are very dear to me 😭

Yes!!! Thank you so much for the request -- they really are such a good pair ;-; (The thing is, I had so many nice scenes in mind about how they parallel each other, but they wouldn't know or reveal that about each other so I kept restarting...) Anyway, here's something right after Mikoto's first trial/verdict!

Mikoto could pick up on someone’s bad mood from a mile away, though the skill was unnecessary when the other party very clearly and calmly informed him, “I’m in a bad mood.”

After refusing his offer, Amane turned back to a thick textbook she’d been taking notes on. Didn’t kids usually complain that school was already a prison? She must have wanted the full experience. He'd worked nonstop at his studies as well, but this was a new level. Amane often reminded him of his little sister, though she always took the extra step like this. His sister would have jumped at this opportunity to play a few rounds of their favorite card game.

“It’ll be fun!”

He flashed a smile, but it had no effect on her severe expression. “I know you’re just trying to comfort me about our verdicts. I refuse to be pitied.”

“Comfort and pity are two very different things. But anyway, it wasn’t either of those things.” He gave an easy shrug “To be honest, I’m just a little bored. It’s weird not having any work to do during the day.” 

Mikoto couldn’t remember the last time in his life he’d had so many hours to himself. A lot of the others were fun to play games with. A few of the sportier prisoners helped him stay active. He enjoyed smoking breaks with the other men. Still, he was left to his own devices for the majority of his time. It was maddening. He’d recently requested some more art supplies, having used up the last batch, but they had yet to come in. Now with the verdict announcement, he wasn’t sure they’d ever arrive.

“That is your own problem. I already have something to do.” Her eyes lingered on the cards for the briefest of moments before returning to the book. “I told you, I’m not in the mood for it.”

Regardless of her hostility, he took a seat beside her. He leaned his arms out on the table. “We don’t have to play the same game.” The last time they'd played as a big group, several prisoners pulling the tables together to fit everyone. Amane had kept very quiet, eyes darting around at the cards as she tried to keep up with the rules. Not many of the others noticed the frustration clear in her face. Mikoto wasn’t the type to let her win out of pity, though he had begun to mutter the rules and strategies to himself a bit more as the night went on… 

“Is there a game you liked to play at home?”

 “No. There was no time for games in the house.” 

“All work and no play… hah… I know what that’s like.” He slumped his cheek onto his arm, lazily shuffling the cards around. He felt bad for bothering the girl if she truly was upset. He thought it was the bad experience that made her reject him, he hadn’t realized there were also family issues attached. Usually he could read people well; maybe he was losing his touch. He seemed to be losing touch with a lot of things, these days.

He readied a game of solitaire. 

“Mikoto?” Amane kept her face turned away. “There was… one game.”

“Yeah?” Mikoto shuffled the cards back together. He slid them over to her. “You should teach me!” 

She didn’t touch them. “You probably already know it.”

“Nah, I only know a few games. I’m better with tarot cards, though those aren’t really the gaming type. Come on, what is it?”

She told him the name of the game, insisting it wouldn’t be worth playing. She kept her attention on the textbook, but her eyes weren’t reading any of it. 

“Ahh, I’ve heard of that one! We start with four cards, right?” He started dealing them out.

“No, five –” she pointed to the deck, urging him to add two more. 

“Right, right.” He laughed lightly. “And the goal is to get pairs, and put them in a pile, uhh, here.”

Amane shook her head. She shifted her body slightly towards him. “You must be thinking of a different game. There’s actually three piles for pairs. One here, one here, and when it’s your opponent’s turn…” 

Her eyes gleamed as she explained the rules. She pointed to various cards, telling him exact moves and point values. “And to win, you need to –” Her expression shifted. “You… you already knew all this.”

“Of course not!” He put on his most convincing smile. 

She deflated. “You’re not a very good liar.”

“Tch, tell that to the warden.”

His shoulders sagged along with her. If Amane could see right through him, why was the rest of Milgram still coming up with stories about what he did and didn’t do? “Well, I might already know the rules, but it’s been a long time since I’ve played. You can still give me a hand. Plus, if you really are in such a bad mood, it’ll be good to take a break from your studies. You should always take a break when things get too overwhelming, yeah?”

She gave him a withering stare.

“Eh? What’s that face for?”

“Alright, let’s play. You can go first.”

“I mean it, what was that look? Aw, come on…”

[coridallasmultipass]

Long shitpost silly vent and conspiracy theory for funsies:

I'm really tired of UI being simplified to symbols on every website and program and app, especially on PC, but especially-especially on mobile when I click 'desktop view' on my browser. Where'd my text go? I want the text. Give me the text. I don't want to be bombarded by every site's minimalistic takes on mobile-friendly web design, and the same 5 symbols and 3 new ones. We're like three generations off from people knowing firsthand that the save icon is a floppy disk. I don't even click the save icon when I'm on PC. I don't even remember the last time I clicked one when I had the option to do anything else, because I'd rather use the text menu. Like, I use the keyboard shortcut or I click file>save. I'm not clicking a fucking modern hieroglyph in Corporation A's visual icon dialect. ('Dialect'? Icon dialect. Dialex-icon. Idk.)

I miss you, text-based internet.

I miss you, text-based PC operating system. (Windows 7. I'm using hyperbole here.)

Details and long-form content are being pushed aside by 60-second summaries and abbreviated/sanitized representations of images and ideas, by corporations dictating how the digital world should function. Also, fuck censoring words to be advertisement-friendly.

Anyway, I'm sick of deciphering what new random minimalist symbols are supposed to represent. There is a bottom line to minimalism, and right now, this is what the internet, UI in general, and web design feels like to me:

It's fucking flat.

Next thing you know, they'll take the snake out, too. The Obsolete Snake.

Then after that, in a digital world of shapeless, entirely minimalist colour, you'll have to decipher meaning from a highly specific colour used to convey a wide range of meanings depending on its digital value, and the colour shown before and after it. Let's call it hex-icon (like 'lexicon'), after the limited hex-code characters (0-6, A-F) used to comprise digital colour.

Can I call dibs on this highly specific colour as my new corporate-aesthetic-friendly minimalist username??

((Naming yourself after popular media is a trans rite-of-passage and I missed out the first time by renaming myself before I knew my gender.))

But wait, that's a highly incendiary colour!! Don't you know that #FF06B5 is associated with an anti-corporate agenda? You can't pick that colour as a name on an internet owned and operated by the censorship overlords. Dangerous ideas like that are a violation of the Terms of Service. This post cannot be monetized. Name yourself something more family-friendly. That shade of magenta is too indecent. Think of the children.

> Try again.

*record scratch*....Hol' up. You kno... You know what... I was gonna assign myself a less fruity colour, and then I realized I was about to implement some kind of colour-based naming caste system, where only certain tones are allowed as names depending on your status, and aberrant colours are disallowed due to controversy. Suddenly, the Homestuck quote I just used makes sense for the direction I was headed with Cyberpunk 2077 magenta (fuschia, AKA a royal blood colour in Homestuck) being forbidden in hexicon.

The saying was right: every so often someone does reinvent Homestuck. I just went about it from a moebius double reacharound direction. Thankfully, I have the Homestuck experience to tell me when I've arrived at the solution.

(That's enough internet for today, lmao.)

Tldr; say no to corporate user-shiterface. Don't let detail become obsolete. Consume long-form media again. Stop encouraging sanitized minimalist content. Or else I'll see you in the roof, #413612. Can't abscond, bro!

Appendix:

One last important message in hexicon for everyone. Because I know, you know, you want to know, how to say this one. It sure is a beautiful colour to display vibrantly towards the ever simplifying internet.

[vault81]

found my notepad list of locations to get screenshots of for the travel log series!!!! I thought I lost this lol

[twistitch]

Very excited for next summer. Got some tickets to go see Ghost. Gonna be looking forward to that, so it'll help me get through the incoming seasonal depression/work frustrations.

Only thing is not looking forward to potentially having to be the one to drive into the city. We'll see what happens, lots of time until then.

Just gonna focus on the excitement and anticipation. 😌

[roscoehamiltons]

brocedes?

(send me a ship and i will tell you if it makes sense and if i find it compelling!)

brocedes -> makes sense, doesn't compel me

this might be one of the most controversial fandom opinions i have (or maybe not? idk i feel like there is actually a decent subsection of lewis fans who don't like brocedes lol). tbh i actually do like the idea of brocedes. like i said earlier, intense rivalry dynamics really intrigue me and compel me. there are ships with similar dynamics/trajectories that i really enjoy (namely rosquez lol, but also pierrestaban and prosenna). it seems like there's never ending lore about them and i love digging into lore. i love history. i love fandom meta. and ofc it involves my number one blorbo babygirl lewis, so in theory it should be something that i enjoy and eat up.

but i don't lol. for a couple reasons i suppose: the first being that valewis is the number one lewis/f1 ship of my heart. it is to me, what brocedes is not, which is part of why it works for me. the second reason, which ties into the first, is that i got into f1 relatively recently (2021) and nico was not on the grid then. i think the nostalgia factor is one of the key elements of brocedes, especially if you saw their relationship break down in real time-- which i did not, so i started off with very little emotional attachment to them and did not gain much. (also nico is not my blorbo lol although i do think he's an interesting person. i don't actually dislike him if we take him out of the brocedes equation)

the third reason, which is the most important reason, is that most of the shippers are extremely annoying to me lol. i'm not against shipping in general ofc (otherwise i wouldn't be doing this ask game) but the way they act drives me bananas. i hate how they make everything that lewis does about brocedes. if lewis goes on an interview show there's speculation about whether nico would be mentioned. if lewis does a side project then there's theories about how it ties to brocedes. lewis has so many accomplishments and passions and facets to him both with and without nico, and twisting everything about lewis into a delusional fantasy is honestly dehumanizing (not to mention annoying). obviously not every brocedes shipper is like this (and no one i follow is like this) but i see way too many people being weird and irrational about them in a bad way that it leaks into my enjoyment of the ship and the fandom itself. so it's ended up that the more people talk about them, the more i actively end up disliking it, out of some kind of spite perhaps. maybe it's silly to let others behaviour affect how much i like or don't like something lol but that's how i feel!

[unnonexistence]

idk if there's anything in stories i get more petty about than poorly-written "main character shows up to a new place and meets everyone" character introduction scenes

[allylikethecat]

i hate inflicting more pain onto him but you do "insecure matty comforted by g" so well, could we get a little snippet on him reacting to all the "twink death" posts on twitter 🥹

HELLO KIND ANON!

Thank you so much for going rogue and just like... sending me a prompt that wasn't on any kind of list. If anyone else wants to just... send me a prompt situation from the depths of their mind I am HERE and READY for it!

This little snippet ended up being 2k words and I'm not totally sure how that happened and I was going to try and cut it down some but then decided that this was my blog so I can do what I want and we are full send posting the entire thing. I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for, but here we are! Also I mean no offense to anyone with this one (Fictional!Matty per the prompt is upset about the Twink Death posts and it sends him spiraling about his relationship with fans and also fictional!George) and I hope you enjoy it! Also I 100% made up the twitter handle and I mean no offense if there is anyone out there with that handle.

Thank you so much and let me know what you think!

❤️Ally

Matty knew he wasn’t supposed to be on Twitter anymore. His therapist had told him so, George had told him so. Social media was a cesspool, it wasn’t real life, and it only ever served to bring him down. Matty knew he had an addictive personality, and a short attention span, so sometimes it felt like social media had been made just for him, projecting colorful, easily digestable, bite size bits of information right to his brain. (Rationally he knew that was the entire point of an algorithm but that didn’t mean it made him feel any less special.)

Scrolling through Twitter was like pressing on a bruise, he couldn’t help but love the sting even though it only hurt him. Whenever he went on Twitter he ended up doom scrolling until he sent himself into a depressive spiral, focusing on all the people who hated him and wanted him to overdose and die, which he then coped with by getting drunk and posting the wrong thing. 

Matty knew he wasn’t supposed to be on Twitter anymore, but George was distracted and Matty was too tired to even sleep and apparently a masochist as he settled onto the hotel bed and re-downloaded the app, a white X on a black background instead of the blue bird he had grown to love to hate. He logged in quickly with one of his many burner accounts, a ‘75 fan account that no one had even joking speculated was actually him. A tingling thrill of anticipation moved up his spine, not unlike the buzz he used to feel when he went out to score, as his feed loaded. He quickly glanced over at George guilty, who was still staring intently at his laptop, sitting at the hotel desk, headphones on, working on something. He felt like a little kid with his hand in the cookie jar, just asking to be caught and disciplined.

Confident that George wouldn’t be paying him any mind, at least for a little while, Matty began scrolling. There were fans proclaiming their love for him, and that they wanted to have his babies, invasive fan theories about him and Ross of all people that couldn’t be further from the truth, pictures of Taylor in Brazil, then more pictures of her pretending she gave a rat's arse about football. Sandwiched between a gif of a cat falling off of the counter and a tweet proclaiming Jack Antanoff a chaos gremlin Matty saw it.

He nearly scrolled past the two pictures posted side by side. If he was going to be naughty and looking through twitter, he was going to at least try and avoid too much of his own press, but he couldn’t help but stop. It was a picture of him from 2014, he was on stage, clutching a microphone and a cigarette in the same hand, his pale blue button down half unbuttoned and nearly slipping off his shoulder, his collar bone jutting out razor sharp. His curls were overgrown and unbrushed, falling around his face, a dark curtain he used to desperately hide behind. He had a vague memory of that day, at least he thought it might have been that day. He had been wearing that shirt the first time George kissed him for real. It had been the last time he had worn the shirt as well, the buttons hadn’t survived George’s eager hands. 

The other picture was from a few nights ago, a tight gray tee shirt clinging to his chest and biceps, the mustache he had grown back at George’s sheepish request twitched in amusement. He looked so much healthier in the second photo, and he was surprised to see it, surprised to see how stark the contrast was. He was pleased that the fans were seeing it too, that they were seeing how much work he had been putting into himself. He wasn’t hiding behind his hair anymore, hence the shorter curls. He was eating better, he was working out. He was trying not to drink as much, he was trying not to smoke as much. He was, after years of therapy, and a few hospital stays that he was happy never actually made it into the press, and more patience and support from George than Matty was sure he deserved, he was actually doing well. The new combination of medication was helping, even if he didn’t want to admit it. 

Then he saw the caption. Twink Death. He blinked. What did they mean, twink death. He was actively taking steps to better himself and healyslut69 was clearly being ridiculous, acting like a piece of him had died. He was the same person, he just wasn’t twenty five and addicted to smack anymore. Not that he had ever been a twink in the first place. He was a manly man, thank you very much. He clicked on the tweet, eager to scroll through the thread and see the replies calling out healyslut69 for being absolutely ridiculous. Twink Death, he scoffed, absolutely ridiculous. That was until he saw that all of the replies were in agreement with healyslut69. They were all mourning his alleged twink death.

He let out a little whine of frustration, then quickly glanced up from his phone to make sure George hadn’t heard him. Thankfully, George was still engrossed in whatever track he was working on, headphones on, clicking away. This is absolutely ridiculous, Matty thought, thumbing away from the thread to go back to his feed. This group of fans didn’t know what they were on about. He frowned as he saw another post relating to the topic, then another, and then another. He swallowed hard. Maybe healyslut69 wasn’t the one that was wrong. Maybe he was. 

He scrolled up, finding the original tweet once again. He looked at the two photos, bringing his phone up closer to his face to examine them as if he wasn’t looking at the face he saw in the mirror every morning. Maybe he didn’t look like the same person anymore. Maybe it was more than just getting clean, cutting his hair and gaining at least a stone. Maybe a piece of him really had died. He swallowed hard, his thick smoker’s saliva catching in his throat causing him to cough wetly. At that George did turn his head, lifting one of the headphones away from his ear. 

“You ‘right?” George asked, frowning, as he took in the look on Matty’s face. 

Matty quickly waved him off. “Yeah, just swallowed wrong,” he said, flashing George a thumbs up.

George frowned but turned back to his laptop anyway and Matty went back to his phone, clicking on the original tweet must have triggered something in his algorithm because he was suddenly bombarded with posts about how much he had changed, how much the fans wanted the “old Matty back” how they wanted to “Make Matty Gay again” as if he wasn’t in a fucking relationship with a man and had been for the past nine years. 

The more he read the more the self doubt started creeping in. It was slow at first, and he almost didn’t notice it. It was like frostbite, creeping through his body, overwhelming his senses without him even realizing until it was too late. He pressed the side button to lock his phone and tossed it onto the bed, where it proceeded to slide off the sheets and land on the floor with a clatter. He let out a groan of frustration and self pity, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. He just couldn’t fucking win. 

“Okay,” said George, taking his headphones completely off and spinning around in the swivel chair to look at Matt, quickly glancing at his phone on the floor, then back to Matty. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” said Matty stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling ridiculous for even being upset that some faceless fan account was mourning his supposed “twink death,” even as his lower lip began to tremble. Fuck Matty though, unable to meet George’s gaze and the loving concern he knew he was going to see painted across his face. He was going to start crying. He froze, feeling like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over his head. What if George didn’t find him as attractive anymore, what if George missed how he used to look, all skinny and delicate, with long messy hair, sucking on a cigarette instead of eating breakfast, lunch or dinner. 

What if that was why their sex life had gotten less active as they got older. They still had plenty of sex, and Matty had always been satisfied, but what if that was the reason the shirt destroying urgency was gone, what if that was why George wasn’t tossing him onto the nearest surface at every opportunity anymore. Matty had thought they were just getting older, maturing, leveling out, but what if George just wasn’t as attracted to him anymore?! What if that was why George had wanted him to grow the mustache, what if he was trying to find some new way to make sleeping with him less of a chore. 

Matty couldn’t help it, he looked up, at kind, sweet, understanding and supportive George, who forced himself to fuck him even though he wasn’t attracted to him anymore, and instantly burst into the tears he had been fighting. 

George blinked in surprise, clearly he hadn’t been expecting that. He stood up, closing the distance between them as he sat down next to Matty on the bed, carefully pulling him into his arms even as Matty kept his hands pressed to his face. 

“What’s wrong, love,” said George softly, rubbing a large hand in careful circles against Matty’s back. “Did something happen? Is your family okay?” 

Guilt burned in Matty’s stomach, as he pressed his hand to his mouth as if he could push all the upset back inside of his chest, as if he could swallow it back down to his belly where it belonged. 

“They’re fine,” Matty said with a hiccup, “I’m fine, sorry, fuck, I’m fine,” he rubbed at his eyes, even as his breath hitched, “you can get back to work, I’m fine.” 

“Matthew,” said George softly, pulling Matty’s hands away from his face. “Something is clearly wrong, what can I do to help?” 

George’s kindness just made Matty cry harder, burying his face in George’s shoulder. He knew he was being extremely dramatic and over the top right now, crying because some fans on the internet were mourning his alleged “twink death” was ridiculous even for him. But it wasn’t just about the fans on the internet, it was hundreds of little things he had pushed down until he just couldn’t take it anymore and it all boiled over. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be famous anymore, he wasn’t sure he ever had. 

It was the fans that seemed to hate him always criticizing his outfit choices, the ones complaining about the set lists he painstakingly put together, the ones who complained that he didn’t talk enough during gigs, and the ones who complained when he did. It was the fans, and not fans, that took every word he had ever spoken ever, and twisted it round in circles until it didn’t even make sense anymore. It was the ones accusing him of being the worst person alive. It was the ones wishing death upon him and his loved ones. It was the way that no matter what he did, no matter how much of himself he gave to the masses, it was never enough and never what they wanted. He was just so fucking tired, and seeing that tweet broke something inside of him in a way that he hadn’t been expecting. It filled him with even more self loathing and doubt, why had he even bothered to get clean, why had he even bothered to try and get healthy, everyone liked him better strung out anyway it seemed. 

“Just some dumb fans on the internet,” said Matty quietly, trying to get his breathing under control, George was still rubbing his back soothingly.

“Matty,” said George sadly, his heart breaking. He wasn’t going to address the fact that they both already knew Matty wasn’t supposed to be looking at Twitter. 

“Do you,” said Matty, pulling away slightly, needing to hear the words straight from George’s mouth, needing to rip the bandaid off. If George didn’t like him like this he would figure it out. He’d lose the weight again, he’d grow out his hair. “Do you,” he swallowed hard, “do you still like me?” 

“What kind of absolute bullshit question is that?” George asked, “of course I like you Matty, I fucking love you.” 

Matty swallowed again, weighing his words. “Are you, are you still attracted to me?” 

“Jesus Christ Matty,” said George, “what is this about? Yes I’m very much still attracted to you, always have been and always will be.” 

“Even though I’m not as,” Matty could bring himself to say the word, “delicate anymore?” he asked instead. 

“What do you mean?” George asked not following along. Matty sighed and pulled away from George’s arms, leaning over the side of the bed to retrieve his phone. He unlocked it, keeping his eyes down cast as he handed it to George.

George frowned, looking over the tweet, a crinkle forming between his eyebrows. He relocked Matty’s phone without saying a word and reached over to set it on the nightstand. 

“I,” said George leaning in and pushing Matty onto his back so he could hover over him. “Love you.” He kissed Matty’s deeply, licking into his mouth, before nipping lightly on his lower lip. “And I will always love you and think you’re the sexiest man alive.” 

“Even though I’m not a twink anymore?” Matty couldn’t help but ask even as he felt George’s erection digging into his thigh. 

George snorted. “If anything, it’s even hotter that I don’t have to worry about hurting you.” 

Matty couldn’t help the grin that broke out across his face, and George couldn’t help but kiss it away. 

[robots-are-kinda-hot]

Five Pebbles x human reader (platonic) headcanons

I’m very sorry if this is ooc, I’ve never written anything like this before :/

•Five Pebbles is the most emotionally constipated iterator ever made, so this is going to be a very, very long process.

•start by bringing him pearls, trinkets, anything remotely interesting. he is so, so bored!! please give him things!!!

•little by little, he changes. he starts to talk with you more instead of just telling you about what you brought him. he tells you to leave a second later than last time. he lowers his puppet down enough to be at your level.

•eventually, you two could be called friends.

•the cycle Pebbles realizes this, he is more quiet than usual. if you ask what’s wrong, he will tell you not to worry and tell you to leave soon.

•make it clear that you care about him. don’t pry about it, just tell him that you will be there if he wants to tell someone.

•he won’t say anything, but you can tell he appreciates it.

•Eventually, Pebbles will ask “…are we friends?” In a defeated tone, as if you’ve said no already.

•of course, you say yes and… he doesn’t know how to react. His eyes are wide, and pearls start circling him. His antenna flick up and down quicker than you’ve ever seen them.

•Five Pebbles is the happiest he’s ever been after Moon’s fall, and it’s all thanks to one creature at the bottom of his chamber.

•Finally, he opens his arms a little, hoping you will get the hint.

•And if you do hug him, he hugs you back.

[signalsinaspacestation]

I started "Britt Marie Was Here" by Fredrik Backman because my sister had given it to me for my birthday last year along with "Song of Achilles" and honestly, I wasn't expecting much but I'm 7 chapters in and I'm still recovering from the shock that was the first chapter, the way Britt Marie prides herself in things that she's already lost

The image of her priding herself as a wife and caretaker of her home only to peel back the truth that she had left home and she is alone now at a hostel, still staying up for the ghost of what she once had

[sysig]

Giving nicknames, testing boundaries (Patreon)

[shoceted]

Hello, this is like... months late but you were one of the only English KeiwaxAce writers I actually liked and seeing that you've dropped the series is devastating (but understandable, they've been ruining Keiwa since Bullfighting Game and I'm devastated, on the edge of my seat and have a lot words/feelings about it too). Could I ask what was your turning point for the series? Or, I guess, what was the straw that broke your back.

If you don't feel like it, that's fine too. Thank you for sharing your Geats fics at the start of the series.

(Anonymous cuz i'm shy af but mostly because haven't used tumblr in years how does this website even work anymore help-)

firstly, this is an incredibly kind thing to say about my writing, and i appreciate it a lot! i kind of miss being that inspired — like including the ex-aid crossover i wrote, seven things??? that's impressive, actually, go me. the first 16 episodes of geats provided a lot for me to be inspired by, i guess. (i think my heart's always going to do something when i think about the phrase "the tycoon i know", tbh.)

the last straw... well, for one thing, the lack of keiwa focus after episode 19 did bug me, because he was my favorite character and i liked seeing him. people say "oh he got focus during the first dgp" but i don't think that's really the case; i went more into this on my personal twitter account, but him being the audience surrogate for the first arc doesn't mean he's the focus of those episodes. like 1-2 are establishing ace, 3-4 are establishing neon, 5-6 are establishing buffa, and then it's only 7-8 that keiwa gets focus... and he's eliminated. at the beginning of the next dgp, he's not even a contestant, he's just a device used to show the fact that being eliminated without dying gets rid of why you wished for what you wished for. it's not until episode 12 that he's even back.

now, i thought the direction they were going with him — he still wants world peace, but in a more realistic way, wanting to bring all the dead contestants back — was really good, too. and i liked him and neon both developing into characters who could trick ace by the time episode 16 comes around! (i actually still have a kace wip that i might finish someday for the sake of finishing it that takes place between episodes 16 and 17, sorta; like, i have 5k of it written and all it needs is the smut that sure is a part of it, so i might go back to it eventually? who knows.)

and thennnnn the dezastar arc starts, as does the decline in keiwa's writing.

i don't mind characters being comic relief now and then, but having a previously-serious character relegated to just comic relief doesn't sit well with me. 19 was a great episode for keiwa, and that conversation with ace he had over dinner made me lose my shit, and i foolishly thought that maybe they'd take him seriously from there on out.

but, no, they sidelined him. for 12 weeks. waiting for my favorite character to have proper focus episode for 3 straight months really bugged me, tbh, though i didn't say anything for fear of stirring the pot. and we finally get to episode 31 and he gets kicked into a pit. this made me really upset.

the fan reaction to this also didn't do me any favors; i was pissed at buffa (the character, not the actor — i do not care about mokudai kazuto in any direction, though i was accused of hating on him, which was fun) for the whole pit-kicking thing and made this clear, which i realize in retrospect was a mistake, because all of a sudden being a fan of keiwa was not the move. (and fwiw, i don't want to hate buffa; i just get a way with characters who hurt characters i love. i'm the same way about him that i am about kylo ren and sangwoo from squid game, and i do not like this trait about myself.) it reminded me of a bunch of shitty experiences i had in a toxic fandom in 2020 and 2021 that sunk me into a deep depression that it took a long time (and the existence of kamen rider revice, which a lot of geats fans abhor and make clear that they abhor, which also didn't help) for me to get out of. that's when i stopped watching geats live, at least. (i also want to state that this had nothing to do with any ship i like, not even kace. apparently people have this idea that kace enjoyers are really angry folks and it's just like... no? this isn't a popular pairing. nobody is going to get mad at you if you don't like it.)

neon's writing during this time also made me angry; i do not like any of the sponsors at all, and neon's character development coming from a man — and a man who is a toxic fan of hers, at that — didn't sit well with me. on the topic of sponsors, jean felt like forced ace shipping bait, and i didn't like his character much, either. (which also makes me feel bad, since i know the actor's such a huge fan.) it was actually him coming back, as well as punkjack's return (by all means i should adore punkjack, because am i ever a sucker for a flop musician, but nothing about his character has ever worked for me — especially since he unnecessarily flirts with tsumuri and clearly makes her uncomfortable in a setting where she can't complain about this, which, ew), that made me drop geats entirely.

the direction the writing is going right now is also not good. the misogyny of fridging sara and damsel-ing tsumuri, the way they've completely fucked up keiwa's character, it's so frustrating — i honestly want to move zero one up on my toku list for this year so that i can see if ex-aid, which famously gave me a disease, was some kind of fluke. hell, in ex-aid, we have a character who acts illogically because of his grief, and those episodes are perfect to me. doing this with keiwa 40something episodes in doesn't hit the same.

buffa's storyline was supposed to be something similar, i know, but that never worked for me either. much like punkjack, it should have. but his non-reaction to the toru jamato's death when toru's death and his anger over it is supposed to be his entire character motivation... didn't make me feel like hiiro did. his rivalry with ace is also no kaito/kouta. it feels like geats is trying to do a lot of things that worked in gaim without understanding why those things worked in gaim. (and i do hate to be an annoying gaim stan, but... come on, geats.)

maybe i'm missing something because i'm not watching every week, or maybe i just have bad taste, but all of these things piling up makes me want to have nothing to do with geats at all anymore. i've actually considered orphaning all my geats fic in frustration, but i've decided against it because that would mean interacting with my geats fics again. it wouldn't provide catharsis. i'm just done.

so tl;dr: around the dezastar arc i became frustrated with keiwa getting sidelined, the fan reaction to episode 31 as well as its contents brought up bad memories and made me stop watching live, and the return of two characters i just don't see the appeal of made me drop the series entirely.