#it gets more and more apparent every single day

[bubblesgarden]

always you — john b x reader

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summary: you and john b have been friends for years, but when kiara carrera comes along, things become different.

author's note: hi guys ! this is my very first piece of work i've posted here and i really hope you enjoy it ♡ if you did, please consider giving this a like, reblog, or comment ! feel free to give me a follow if you'd like to see more ♡

you were just eight years old when you first met john b. he had scraped knees and an untamed mop of hair, but his smile was infectious— like how the sun shone through your curtains on a summer morning, or when you listened to a song for the first time and would have it on repeat constantly. and before you knew it, you were spending every single day together. the two of you inseparable, running wild, dreaming up adventures, and sharing secrets that you swore would never leave the walls of the chateau.

for years, it was you and him— two kids hand in hand, against the world. at least, it felt that way.

but then kiara carrera came along. she was cool, easy going, and fit into the group so effortlessly that you couldn’t really blame john b for wanting to hang out with her. at first, it didn’t bother you— after all, kie was great. but slowly, you noticed the dynamic start to shift.

the days where it was just you and john b became fewer and farther between. instead of running off to hide up in the treehouse in your backyard for hours, or lay smushed up together on the hammock at the chateau while you stared at the stars to talk about everything and nothing, he was suddenly too busy. too preoccupied. with kiara. 

at first, you tried to convince yourself it didn’t matter. john b was allowed to have other friends. but as days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, the sting of being phased out by your best friend since childhood was too much to ignore.

one night, after another gathering around a fire where you felt like a shadow in your own group; constantly being talked over or ignored completely, you decided you’d had enough.

you didn’t exactly know what you were going to say— there were too many things running through your mind that you were positive it was all going to turn into a bunch of word vomit when you’d eventually face him. or you’d end up freezing. there was no in between unfortunately. 

so when you finally approached the chateau, you found john b sitting on the porch, sipping on a beer as he gazed out at the stars. the glow of the moonlight highlighted the familiar curve of his jaw, and those messy curls you had ruffled a thousand times before.

“can we talk?” you ask, skipping the introductions and small talk. that would just make this worse, you thought. you stepped up onto the creaky wood, arms crossed over your chest, almost in a way to hold yourself together. 

he turned to you, surprised. almost like he had forgotten you existed— surprised to see you here, where you had been day after day, and night after night, during your years of being friends. it wasn’t unusual at all for you to show up unannounced, but right now, with that look on his face, apparently it was unusual. 

“yeah, of course,” he nodded, motioning for you to sit down on the tattered, old couch on the porch. sitting down beside him, you folded your arms around your knees. for a moment, the silence stretched between you, awkwardness and the sound of cicadas filling the void.

“what happened to us?” you broke the silence, voice barely above a whisper but still steady as you turn your head to look at him. he hadn’t changed much all these years— still had that stupid boyish charm that seemed to get him out of trouble, and those same, soft eyes. 

you felt him stiffen besides you, and you almost scoffed. “what do you mean?” he asks, his tone matching yours.

“you know what i mean,” you sigh, the hurt you’d been bottling up spilling into your words. “it used to be you and me. we spent every day together. and then all of a sudden kie came along, and it’s like… i don’t exist anymore.”

his brows furrowed, and you saw the guilt flash across his face. “that’s not true.” you could pinpoint his defensive tone from a mile away— the same tone he would use when he got in trouble for something he did do, but always tried to claim he didn’t. 

���isn’t it?” you laugh bitterly, shaking your head a little. “come on, john b. you barely talk to me anymore. if i didn’t come looking for you, i don’t even think you would have noticed i wasn’t around.”

“that’s not fair.”

“neither is feeling like i lost my best friend.”

the crack in your voice must’ve struck something inside him because you watched as his defences crumbled. he set his beer down, running a hand through his already messy curls as he sighed deeply.

“it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he spoke, his voice quiet.

“then why was it?” you pressed, eyes still trained on him.

he hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting away before they finally met yours again. “because i screwed up.”

your brows furrowed, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he said quietly.

john b exhaled shakily. “i started… feeling things i wasn’t supposed to feel. about you. and i thought if i got closer to kie, it would— i don’t know, distract me or something. make it go away.” he laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “but it didn’t. it just made everything worse because i couldn’t stop thinking about you.” 

your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, the weight of his confession settling over you like a blanket. “so, what? you just pushed me away instead of telling me the truth?”

“i didn’t want to ruin what we had.” his voice cracked, and for the first time, you saw the fear in his eyes. “you’re my best friend, and if you didn’t feel the same way— i can’t lose you, (y/n). i thought maybe if i kept my distance, it would hurt less.” 

you swallowed the lump in your throat, emotions churning in your stomach. anger, hurt, but underneath it all, a flicker of something you had buried a long time ago. 

“john b—”

“i’m sorry,” he cut you off, voice barely above a whisper. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i just— i didn’t know what else to do.”

you searched his face, the boy you’d known for many years looking at you like he was afraid you might disappear. that you might run away and never speak to him again. 

“you’re an idiot,” you laughed softly, shaking your head. 

he looked startled, blinking in confusion. “what?”

“all this time, you were scared of ruining our friendship, and you didn’t even think to ask how i felt.”

“how you felt?” he repeated, brow furrowing. the pure confusion over his features made you want to laugh, but instead you just rolled your eyes. 

“i liked you too, john b. i still do.”

his eyes widened slightly, hope flickering in them like the fireflies dancing in the yard. “you do?”

“yeah,” you admitted, your voice softening. “but you’re going to have to make up for being a complete idiot about it.”

a slow, disbelieving grin spread across his face. “i think i can manage that.” 

before you could get another word out, he leaned in, hand brushing against yours as he closed the distance. the kiss was tentative at first, a question in the way his lips moved against yours. but when you didn’t pull away, you felt as he deepened the kiss, like he was trying to make up for all that time he’d wasted worrying. 

when you finally broke apart, he let out a breathless chuckle, resting his forehead against yours. 

“i’m never phasing you out again,” he promised.

“oh so you were phasing me out?” you tease, resulting in several pokes to your side by the curly haired male in protest.

“okay— okay! but seriously. you better not,” you said, a small smile pulling at your lips.

and just like that, it was you and john b again. always had been. always would be.

[angelnightrose]

late night vent

if you're trying to make me stop it's working. i get it. you've moved on to other things. you probably just want all of this to go away forever and you're hoping i'll stop so it can all go away. or you just see me as nothing more than a litle boost to your ego every time i post. a way for you to pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing nothing. that fact that you even dare to act like you have anything to do with my shit infuriates me. i've done so much yet you refuse to respect any of it. you obviously play favorites and i'm clearly not one of them. i'm just the annoying child that you want to get rid of but you don't want to be rude so you ignore me and leave me in the corner hoping i'll leave on my own. i called you my friend once and now being your friend is so exhausting i'm not sure i want to do it anymore. i hang around your server just so i can talk to two other people that i don't share other servers with. the fact that people who know nothing about what i make are more supportive of me than you of all people speaks fucking volumes. they say actions speak louder than words but no action speaks the loudest of all. i'm done. i'm so done. i legitimately don't want you to look at my stuff anymore because it just makes me sad more than anything because you do not care. you preach the importance of making what you love and how it's important to support other artists yet you can't be bothered to do the same for your "friends".

and i know it's not just me. i watch as people you call "friend" create things with so much love and passion and you take one look and decide to ignore it. i watch it happen over and over and over until my friends stop sharing the things they love. they make the very things you claim people should engage with and yet you do not. you cry for engagement on your passion projects but cannot be bothered to engage with anything that doesn't benefit you and your stupid ego. i'm so tired of watching you do this to not only me but the other people you claim to care about. you don't really care, maybe you never did.

you don't care. you haven't cared in a long time. maybe you never truly cared and only wanted to boost your own ego and pretend you made something great. you may have planted the seeds, but you did not grow this garden. it's time to stop pretending that you did. you did not nurture these crops, you did not till this soil, you have have planted things and watered them for a short while, but you left this garden to rot. you cannot continue to be a captain when you've long abandoned the ship. i'm not saying you have to come back. you've moved on and that's perfectly fine. we all move on to new things eventually. just maybe stop acting like you own all of this and that you had some hand in things you have not touched in years. the ship has continued sailing without you and that's okay. you need to accept it.

if i wasn't so scared of the backlash i'd say all of this to your face. but the fear of what you could do to me holds me too tight. so i'll just go on sitting in the corner. staying silent. watching and caring for the garden you left to rot. only showing the new flowers i've grown to those who will actually look and won't try to pat themselves on the back for my hard work.

[themarsbar]

.

[moodr1ng]

i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..

[chickie-birdies]

Recently bought the chickens a rat-proof feeder because the world's biggest pack of rats has moved in and I've had enough. Training the chickens to use it is going well, if slowly. (It would be a lot faster if I still lived with my chickens, or at least lived closer than 30 minutes away... 😅 I can't be there all the time to work with them.)

Midnight, however, refuses to engage with the thing and instead stands next to it looking cranky while she watches the young'uns eat.

[lesbiansloveseokjin]

day 15/547 of seokjin’s military service x

[rickybaby]

I’m glad he kept my man’s name out of his mouth 😒

[nobodybetterlookatme]

The love/hate relationship with my coworkers is so real lmao like why are they like this

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Cigars of the Pharoah (1932-34)

Travel

Train - 1

Boat - 5 (rowed - 1)

Coffin - 1

Horse - 1

Plane - 1 (as pilot - 1; crashed - 1)

Donkey - 1

Elephant - 4

Health

Sleeps - 1 (dreams - 1)

Eats - 2

Ow! - 13 (head injury - 5)

Unconscious - 4

Poisoned - 1

Hospitalised - 1 (psychiatric)

Emotions

Afraid - 1

Despair (TM) - 4

Angry - 1 (Sarcophagus tried to kill him)

Crumbs! - 2

Crikey - 1

Great snakes! - uncounted

Peril

Abducted - 2

Rocks dropped on him - 1 (uninjured)

Shot at - 2

Drowning - 2

Activities

Fishes - 1 (caught - 1 shark)

Swims - 2

Trees climbed - 1

The Law

Arrested - 6

Sentenced to death - 1

Imprisoned - 4

Joins an army - 1

Thompsons? - yes

Arrest Tintin - 4

Dodgy disguise - 3 (measured by any time they wear a disguise bc theyre always dodgy even in their normal clothes)

Thomson spoonerism - 4

Thompson spoonerism - 4

Rastapopoulos? - yes

Maharajah of Gaipajama? - yes

QUIFF DOWN - 2

[elegyofthemoon]

gotta love my schools not-actually-optional optional classes :^)

[kof-xiii]

super pissed that i hav to get the post-op bra on my own tho bc i was under the assumption that i’d jus pay for it and then they’ll give it

[omarfor-orchestra]

"Non farlo piangere" girl he literally cries in his mother's arms when he's trying to fall asleep because he gets frustrated when he can't and now I'm making him cry???????????????

[hazuneji]

every other week or so im struck with the powerful urge to become an editor on the limbus wiki. its been an uphill battle every time i see smth that i know and isnt on there or that could be fixed. but holy shit would i never do anything else

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

i feel like noting something rn for the non-brazilians

rozzi’s journal has a moment that implies she was nicknamed bela/bella (from isabela, or isabella, depends on whether the parent is close or distant from the brazilian equivalent of kayghtleighn parents, which is something like my sister’s classmate who was named ysabelly)

that wouldn’t happen, i think. i’ve only ever seen isa as a nickname for isabela. partially because, like

you know how calling someone bella is like ooo it sounds ~foreign~ so americans pull that shit all the time in media with a foreigner that’d speak french, italian, or spanish when they’re flirting with a lady?

it’s not a foreign word here. when directed towards a person it’s basically like saying they’re gorgeous or beautiful. brazilian translation of beauty in beauty and the beast is bela

it’s choosing to call a little girl a word that deliberately means beautiful. yeah, there’s non-weird connotations, but it would sound kinda weird and a bit creepy, so if you had the choice you’d just pick the other part of the name that will not sound weird

realistically she’d be nicknamed isa and to me it’s mildly funny that they could not get the names 100% right every time because of a technicality

[iobsesswaytoomuch]

Day one of being in a musical

Eh :D 👍

[eggmeralda]

I thought the october curse was gonna be skipped this year based on the fact I got a job on the first day but like. it turns out that was the bad luck disguising itself at good news and it's just another normal october