#it fucking kills
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
megop mr and mrs smith au
is that anything
#megop#'is that anything' i ask#it fucking kills#the image of Optimus playing the innocent while he analyses megatron's weak spots#megatron thinking this guy's a pushover#takes him to the shooting range as a fun date#'so i know you'll be safe'#and Optimus just CAN'T make himself miss#and something in Megatron's brain just splits down the centre#half 'thats HOT' half 'THREAT DETECTED'#Optimus trying to decide if Megatron's a threat trying to act safe or safe trying to act tough#his brain wants one thing but the body ain't listening#obviously Optimus is not an assassin#idk what they actually do#like day to day
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had to put my bed up without older peoples help and now I’ve stubbed my toe on the sharp edge of a wall and had to bandage it myself and it hurts.
So any asks to take away from my pain would be appreciated
#it fucking kills#please send asks#my poor fuckin toe#i just know that Terzo would be laughing#until he saw me in real agony#i trailed blood through the whole house
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Guys I'm so glad everyone loves hit JRWI campaign: The Suckening so much. 12 thousand notes on just a thumbnail that's so cool. Anyone think about emizel pussy-out post revival
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP#sorry. guy who lives in new york voice i need people on tiktok to get less annoying#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k#10k#20k#30k#lord kill us all its at thirty thousand notes...#40k#50k#60k
67K notes
·
View notes
Text
this image is making me throw up with laughter for some reason
35K notes
·
View notes
Text
I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.
#MR. KELLOGG I WOULD LIKE A FUCKING WORD#beating this man's fucking corpse with a broom#I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR POOP AND WEIRD CHRISTIAN NONSENSE NOW EVERYONE THINKS PLEASURE IS BAD FOR YOU#KILLING AND BITING AND MAIMING
89K notes
·
View notes
Text
Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo
Shes just a fucking baby
Baby with a 60% successful kill rate
#wrenfea.article#theres a video in the article#her name is gaia and shes 8 months#shes part of the AZA breeding program#i now have a reason to visit utah#leetle baby gorl#black footed cat#conservation news#conservation#zoos#animals#also the highest successful kill percentage for big cats is like. 25%#so 60% is fucking crazy
53K notes
·
View notes
Text
People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.
For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.
The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.
So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.
Edit: if you are able, use $5 you would otherwise use for a streaming subscription to donate to a GazaFunds campaign.
#edit: go to https://gazafunds.org/ and donate $5 you would otherwise spend on streaming services on a campaign!#ra speaks#piracy#media piracy#pirate to make hondo ohnaka proud#obligatory ‘don’t fucking pirate small authors/artists works wtf dude’ statement.#anyone who’s seen my media bitching before knows I’m a hype man for indie films this ain’t about them#this is about corporate streaming services killing physical media bc sales numbers are less impressive than number of streams#edit: USAmericans stop telling me to buy DVDs and blurays at Walmart. think outside your borders for a hot sec. fun thought exercise.#your experiences are not universal#edit: WHO GOT THIS TO 100k. I JUST WANT TO TALK (this post is my second to hit 100k woahg.)#in other news: fix your fucking posture. drink some fucking water. and go the fuck to bed if it’s late bc it’s for me rn. peace and light.
133K notes
·
View notes
Text
she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
THIS COMMENT IS MAKING ME CRY LAUGHING HELPP
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
#inland taipan#idk if this is being talked about on tumblr yet but I’m enjoying making fun of this guy#he may not die but he DID get all his innocent snakes killed#so fuck him#Jeff leibowitz
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
54K notes
·
View notes
Text
EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt
#talk tag#IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still)#(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'')#GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!!#one time i saw that a person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi.#they are TWIN BROTHERS.#not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this.#just horrible#also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you
70K notes
·
View notes
Text
and just when you think you’re at your absolute lowest a blonde motherfucker comes along and makes everything so much worse
#the way this applies to FUCKING EVERYTHING#the talented mr ripley#tom ripley#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#snowbaird#snowjanus#sejanus plinth#coriolanus snow#lucy gray baird#tbosas#fight club#soapshipping#tyler durden#the narrator#the secret history#charles macaulay#killing eve#villaneve#eve polastri#hotd#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#rhaenicent#primal fear#aaron stampler#hannibal#hannigram#hannibal lecter#will graham
12K notes
·
View notes