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sunookkii · 4 years ago

Note

hii can i get an E2L with jake please <3

YESSS!! Thank you so much for requesting,, I really hope you like it 😋

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Jake Sim x Reader

Genre : enemies to lovers

Warnings : some swear words here and there.. a little scene where main character almost gets assaulted at night

Word Count : 2.4K

Requested : yess <3

(Warning : It kind of sucks, I’m not really sure if this is e2l PLEASE I TRIED MY BEST ANYWAYS)

❀ You and Jake were enemies since birth, you two supposedly hated each other’s guts since diapers. It didn’t help that your parents were really good childhood friends and would always hang out together forcing you and Jake to try and get along. Though it didn’t work.. Jake would always picked on you, weather it was calling you stupid nicknames, tripping you making you fall and land on your face or bothering you every time he had a chance. You were always his main target. To him your reaction to his mean jokes were always so entertaining. You absolutely hated him, how cocky he was, how annoying he was, how handsome, charming he was, and how he was always better than you at everything. And the list goes on.

“I hate history why do we even need to learn it” you thought to yourself. Tapping your pencil back and forth not paying attention to the lesson that was taught on the board. Out of no where you feel pieces of paper being thrown at you from behind,,,, it was from Jake. You thought that he would stop throwing pieces of paper at you after awhile but oh you were wrong. Jake laughing silently to himself thought he was sooo funny. He kept throwing pieces of paper at you until you finally had enough, you turned your body facing him and started giving him a whole lecture forgetting that there was a lesson being taught right at this very moment.

“JAKE CAN YOU STOP, YOU’RE BEING SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND IMMATURE!”

You yelled at him a bit too loud causing the teacher to hear,,”Ms. l/n and Mr. Sim OFFICE NOW!”

You groaned at your teachers words, this is all Jakes fault, if he hadn’t bothered you, you two wouldn’t have been in trouble. At this point all the teachers knew you weren’t really fond of Jake, because every week you two would always be in detention together after school.

J: “This is your fault” you turn around to look at Jake, furious, body filled with hatred and anger

Y/n: “ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU WERE THE ONE THROWING PAPER AT ME, (you breathe in and out trying to calm yourself down) if you hadn’t thrown those stupid pieces of paper i could’ve been at home right now.”

J: “woah woah calm down..” he said, that didn’t help one bit

You decided to ignore him this once because there really is no winning when arguing with him. You two finally arrive at the principals office waiting for yet again another detention slip.

P: “I heard that there was a bit of a ruckus, during history class? Care to explain why you used such vulgar language during school?”

Y/n: “it wasn’t my fault sir, Jake was bothering me and wouldn’t stop.”

P: “Mr. Sim is that true?”

J: “no sir I was simply minding my own business, until she started yelling at me for no reason.” He lied through his teeth,

Y/n: “SIR HE’S LYING” you pointed at the boy smirking at you knowing what he just did.

P: “well it seems to me that there’s a little bit of a problem and someone is lying. Whoever is telling the truth can be excused from detention”

J and y/n : “sir I’M telling the truth”

P: “Well since no one is stepping up I guess I’ll have to put both of you into detention, here is the detention slip for both of you. Remember after school until 5, if you miss it you’ll get detention for the whole week. Got it?!

Y/n: “*sigh, yes sir”

———

Y/n’s POV :

The bell rung indicating that school was over, well not for me at least. I still have to show up for detention since well you know... I arrived at the detention room that read room 206. Walking towards an empty desk, I sat on it and lied my head down.

J: “so how was your dayy :)” knowing that this was all his fault he had the audacity to ask me how my day was??

Y/n: “shut up.”

J: “ooh someone’s grumpy cuz they got detention” he laughs annoyingly at me.

Y/n: “you’re in detention too idiot.”

J: “at least I’m not alone stupid” he rolls his eyes moving away and pushing back his dark brown fluffy hair,,

Why was that kind of attractive? Wtf why am I thinking like that get out of my head!

———

❀ The bell finally rung and we were dismissed, it felt like ages~

Walking towards the the exit I see myself accidentally walking besides Jake. I quickly realized and distanced myself, the sky outside was pitch black. Forgetting that I’m terrified of the dark I quickly walk home by myself so I don’t have to be outside any longer. As I was walking towards the direction of my house I sense someone following me, my pace got faster as I was scared what could happen this late at night. I ran quicker and quicker then all of a sudden I feel someone grabbing my wrist hugging me pushing me towards the corner of a house. I try and let out a loud scream right before they cover my mouth with their hand. I open my eyes only to see Jake.

J: “boo!”

I push him off, why is he holding me in his arms like that?

Y/n: “wtf Jake! Why are you following me?” I said kind of mad that he scared me thinking I was being followed.

J: “some guy was following you when you left school and I didn’t want anything to happen to you so I kinda followed you home..”

Y/n: “oh well you can go now... I don’t need your help..” feeling a little bit awkward that he kind of cared..

J: “are you stupid or something?” He said angrily “you should take better care of yourself! The man could’ve done something to you if I hadn’t been there!”

I had no words to say, how could someone I hate so much care for me? I guess he isn’t bad after all.. but my stubborn self obviously had to snap back,

Y/n: “IDC I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOU TO FOLLOW ME, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE IF I GET HURT OR NOT!”

J: “I DON’T, YOU KNOW WHAT! WALK HOME BY YOURSELF”

Y/n: “YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL!”

❀ ❀ ❀

I’m not gonna lie to you I kind of regret saying that to him, it’s not really fun walking home alone when it’s pitch black outside. It was all silent walking home untill I heard something walking towards me, I assumed it was Jake so I turned around getting ready to yell at him, but to my luck it was a random man who came walking up towards me, he came over touching my waist giving me a creepy look, making me feel uncomfortable.

Stranger: “hey baby girl you look beautiful tonight, you want to come over to my house? We can have lots of fun” He winks creepily at me. Does he not know I’m a minor?? Gross.

Y/n: “get away from me!” I tell him as I walk faster pushing him off of me, he quickly grabbed my wrist and started touching me “you’re not going anywhere!”

I start to panic, not knowing what to do, I wish Jake was here I thought to myself as I’m about to cry feeling hopeless not knowing what I could do. Suddenly I hear something running towards me, a tall figure with dark brown hair, is it Jake? The familiar figure punched the creepy man leading him to fall on the ground groaning. He grabed my wrist “lets run!” He held my hand tight as we were running, his hand was soft and fit perfectly in mine.

J: “are you okay” he looks at my scared face holding my cheeks in his palms. I nod feeling a hard lump in my throat as I soon burst out crying tears. “It’s okay, it’s okay I’m here you don’t have to be scared anymore” he held me tight in his arms. Embracing me, his arms and chest were so warm something I really needed. Never in a million years did I think I’d be hugging my enemy like this. I continue crying in his chest as he strokes my hair in reassurance that I’m safe. “Y/n you’re so stupid, you could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

y/n: “I’m sorry” I continue crying

———

He walked me home safely still holding my hand, I look at him weirdly looking at him then looking back at our intertwined hands.

J: “oh right.. sorry”

Y/n: “how did you know I was in danger?”

J: “oh well it’s kind of silly actually, I was mad at you so I decided to do a mean prank to get you scared, but then that’s when I heard you scream so I ran up to you”

Y/n: “oh, well thanks for helping me I guess...” I said looking down at my fingers feeling ashamed.

J: “uhm anyways I’m gonna go home now.. gn loser” he said before he ran off putting his hood back on.

“Goodnight” I whisper, thankful that jake was there with me that night.

———

❀ The next day of school I went to my assigned seat which was in front of Jake. Then suddenly a non familiar boy comes inside the class, was he new?

T: “Class! Listen up.. we have a new student attending our school, and I would like for you to pay attention as he’s about to introduce himself.”

S: “Hi! My name is Sunoo Kim! Please take good care of me :)”

Who’s this new guys Sunoo he’s kind of cute....

T: “Sunoo you can sit next to y/n over there, y/n please raise up your hand so he knows who you are!”

S: “Hi!”

Y/n: “Hi I’m y/n, and your Sunoo right?”

S: “yess.”

The cute boy gave me a cute cheeky smile, I could tell we’ll become good friends. Class was over and it was time for lunch, I could tell that Sunoo didn’t have much friends since he’s new, so I asked him to have lunch with me. Sunoo and I talked about everything! It felt like we knew each other for so long, as if we were best friends. Jake passed by us giving us a weird glare. That’s weird I thought, he never usually glared at me like that, well I mean we’re enemies but he usually gives me a stupid teasing smile,, hmm that’s odd maybe he’s just in a bad mood.

———

School was over and it was time to walk home,

S: “Y/n!! Let’s walk home together, where do you live?”

Y/n: “oh I live near this block,, what about you?”

S: “OH really??!! I live here too, we live close to each other, lets walk home together sometimes!”

He’s so cute, charming and extroverted, we just got to know each other but I feel like we’ve been friends forever, is that weird?

Y/n: ok!

———

❀ Many weeks have passed and me and Sunoo became really close friends! Though Jake has been acting strange lately..

School ended quickly today,, Sunoo suddenly called out my name

S: “lets wak home together today!”

Y/n: “alright su-“

As I was about to finish my sentance Jake came over and grabed my hand intertwining his into mine.

J: “ahh sorry Sunoo she can’t, y/n’s mom told me to walk her home today.”

R: “ahh ok.. bye y/n I’ll see you next week!”

Y/n: “wait but but!” I wasnt able to finish my sentance since Jake already pulled me to the opposite direction. His hands... were in mine? Why am I feeling all sorts of butterflies in my stomach.. this is new, I never felt this way towards Jake before. It was kind of quiet during the walk home until the tension was broken and Jake said something as he stopped walking.

J: “lets go to the ice cream shop, just you and me.”

Y/n: “dont we hate eachother?”

J: “just shut up and come with me.”

He grabbed my hand forcing me to follow,

Y/n: “okay but you’re paying”

We arrived at the pretty ice cream place which was bright and pretty chilly. Jake went to go order the Ice creams while I looked around since I never been here before.

J: “two chocolate ice creams please”

He’s always been so polite towards everyone but me, his fluffy dark brown hair right about his eyes. He’s so cute.. why am I feeling this way towards him? We’re supposed to hate each other but here I am falling head over heels for Jake? No it can’t be, do I have a crush on him? How did he know I liked chocolate ice cream?We sat down at the near table, the place was super cute, perfect for a date. WAIT IS THIS A DATE?

Y/n: “Jake why did you take me here?”

J: “I needed to tell you something but finish your ice cream first”

Y/n: “oh uhm ok-“

J: “AW FUCK IT I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER Y/NILIKEYOU!”

I stool there frozen like a popsicle, did my enemy Jake just confess to me, this seems crazy but I think I like him too.

Y/n: “Jake I like you too..”

J: “iknowyoumightnotlikemebecausethewayItreatedyouwhenwewerekidsbutpleasegivemeachanceisweari’ll-“

Y/n: “JAKE! I said I like you too”

J: “what- really you mean it? You like me back” it was cute seeing him nervous because of me.

Y/n: “yeah I guess you’re not so bad..” I said teasingly

His worried face quickly turned into a big smile, we quickly finished the ice cream and walked outside of the ice cream place side by side. He stoped walking and looked at me.

J: “you have something on your lips” he said pointing

Y/n: “what where” I rubbed my mouth looking for the leftover ice cream”

J: “here” he grabbed my face leaning in for a deep kiss. “There all gone!” he runs away laughing like a little kid.

Y/n: “JAKE SIM I DIDN’T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO STEAL A KISS FROM ME!” I said chasing him, I guess you could say our relationship turned into an enemies to lovers type of thing.

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redwinterroses · 3 years ago

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Here's something to lift your mood after what you just wrote

Imagine Impulse feels Really Bad after Pearl gets sick testing the new recipe for iDimpy bars, and he spends the next several days just. Caring for her.

He does research on foods commonly eaten in Australia when sick and does his best to make them for her (whether or not he's successful is up to your imagination)

And the whole scenario is just very soft and fluffy hurt/comfort that's very heavy on the comfort

YES. I had to write this. :D It's not specifically Australian, but chicken soup is practically universal comfort food. <3

LOOK GUYS RED CAN DO FLUFF I SWEAR. XD

_____________________________

“Pearl?”

Impulse tapped hesitantly at the door of Pearl’s upside-down boat. Well. One of the doors. He was pretty sure it was a door.

He heard shuffling from inside and stepped back as the door — not the one he’d knocked on — swung open.

Clutching a blanket around her shoulders, her green-tinted face and swollen eyes pitiful in the early morning sunrise, Pearl blinked at him.

“Mornin’, Impulse,” she said, her voice raspy. “Please don’t say you’ve got another candy for me to try.”

Impulse winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, no — I’m really sorry about that, Pearl. Really. I was just… you know. Checking in on you. Figured I’d see how you were doing.”

She stepped back, wordlessly inviting him inside, and he followed. The door swung shut behind him, and he realized that the inside of the house was almost entirely in darkness.

“My head’s killing me,” Pearl said. She crossed the room and dropped onto her bed, curling up on one side and tugging the blanket over her sock-clad toes. “I dunno what you put in that candy, but it’s some nasty stuff.”

Guilt coiled in Impulse’s gut and he grimaced. “What can I do to help?”

Pearl didn’t answer for a moment, her eyes drifting shut.

“Pearl?”

She blinked up at him. “I dunno, Impulse — I’ll be fine in a day or two. Just… I dunno. I can’t think straight right now.” One hand crept out of the blanket and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Okay. Okay. This is a thing I can deal with. Impulse was no stranger to caring for sick or injured friends — Ender knows he’s played nursemaid to Tango and Zed’s various ailments enough times.

“Listen,” he said, crouching down next to the bed and keeping his voice low and gentle. “I’m gonna go see if Stress has got anything to help. I’ll be back soon, okay? You just sleep, and I’ll take care of everything.”

Pearl offered a weak smile, wrinkling her nose at him. “You better,” she said, already half-asleep. “This is all your fault, you big lug.”

He waited a second, his face creased in concern, until her breathing evened out and a soft snore escaped.

Then, standing, he backed away on tiptoe. He’d fly over the Stress, see if she had any suggestions or spare potions laying around. And if Pearl could keep any food down, he knew he had some golden apples in storage.

“Be right back,” he whispered, letting the door close softly behind him. The bright morning of Boatem was fresh and cool, but he didn’t have time to enjoy it right now. He had a friend to care for.

~*~

Twenty minutes after, he was back, slipping back into Pearl’s house with all the stealth of a Grian on a prank trip. Pearl was still sleeping, so he quietly moved to the kitchen and pulled a saucepan from the cabinet, filling it with water and setting it on to boil.

When Pearl finally stirred an hour or so later, the small house was filled with the warm, comforting smell of chicken broth.

“Impulse?” she pushed herself up in the bed, rubbing at her eyes, her hair askew.

“Hey,” he answered. “You feel like eating something?”

Pearl started to shake her head, and then paused. “Actually,” she said, “That smells really good. Maybe… just a little?”

With a smile, Impulse ladled out a small bowl of the stew: herbs, carrots, chicken, and slices of golden apple swimming in the rich broth. There was also a dash of healing potion in it — not enough to taste, but enough to be helpful. He carried it over to Pearl and let her take the bowl, sinking down to sit on a low stair next to the bed.

Pearl took a ginger sip, and her eyebrows shot up to her hairline. “Impulse!” she said, pulling her head back and looking down at the bowl with brighter eyes. “This is… this is actually really good. Where’d you learn to cook?”

He shrugged. “You pick up a few things,” he said. Then, a bit quieter. “I, ah. Again: I apologize, Pearl. I thought I had the candy bar recipe fixed, but I shouldn’t have asked you to be my guinea pig.”

Pearl took another slurp of the stew with a little hmmm of satisfaction. “Nah,” she said, swallowing. “I could have said no, after all.” She lowered the bowl to her lap and gave him a grin that, though weak, still sparked with mischief. “But,” she said. “When I’m better, you’re definitely going to help me clean up Boatem.”

Impulse winced. “Aw, man…” And then he shrugged. “No, you’re right. Fair is fair.”

Pearl nudged his knee with her foot. “And no more experiments.”

“Ah… I can’t promise that.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Fine. But go after Grian next time. He left a giant G in the side of my castle anyway.”

Impulse laughed — catching himself just in time to keep it quiet for Pearl’s headache. “Done,” he said.

Pearl toasted that with the soup bowl. “Thanks, Impulse,” she said quietly.

He shrugged. “Hey,” he said. “That’s what family’s for.”

She smiled, looking down at the bowl and not actually at him. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Family.”

#redwinteranswers #redwinterwrites #pearlescentmoon #impulsesv #actual fluff? on my blog? it's more likely than you think

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willwriteforhugs · 4 years ago

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i wish i’d never met you- choi jongho

boyfriend! jongho x reader - one shot!

word count: 1.8k

genre: angst, pain

synopsis: your idol boyfriend finds out that you’ve been getting hate for dating him, and you’ve been hiding it this whole time. this doesn’t sit well with him...

warnings: death threats, arguing and yelling, cursing

a/n: this hurt so much to write i’m sorry

so i feel i should put a sort of disclaimer- this fic involves the mc receiving some pretty serious threats and hate content, and i just want to say: this sort of behavior is absolutely not okay in real life, or even fiction. i wrote this as a way to express my anger towards fans who act in this way- sending hate and threats to people you don’t know is horrible and completely fucked up. i just don’t want anyone to misunderstand and think i’m condoning this behavior. it’s very destructive, and unfortunately very real.

on a lighter note, i do hope you all appreciate this fic. it was hard but incredibly entertaining to create. thank you for reading <33

- - -

your keys jingled as you struggled to fit your house key into the lock. stupid lock. you jiggled it harder, finally hearing the telltale click. your apartment complex had never gotten around to replacing it, though they said they would.

you sighed as you entered your home. it had been a long day, but you were looking forward to tonight. your boyfriend, jongho, finally had a night off. he'd been so busy lately... of course, you knew this was just how it was. dating an idol was a lot of work, and one of the downsides was the lack of one-on-one time. but jongho was supposed to join you at your small condo in only a few hours. so you kept your head up.

your relationship with ateez's beloved maknae had gone public recently. dispatch had caught you. you can still see the headline: "ateez's jongho spotted out with female office worker- to be or not to be?" jongho had been furious, apologizing profusely. you'd told him it was alright, though. after all, you weren't an idol. this couldn't possibly turn into much of a scandal. you will admit that you had been nervous about the public knowing- but it had been two weeks already, and not much had happened. (well, there was one exception, but you had convinced yourself it wasn't a big deal.)

you had picked up the mail on your way into the building, and you now set it on the counter, ready to filter through it.

you spent the next few minutes sorting the mail into piles. bills. ads. more bills.

then, a letter. your address was scrawled in pencil on the envelope, and there was no return address. you flipped it over, dread beginning to claw up your throat. you peeled the envelope open and pulled out the single sheet within. your hands trembled as you read what was typed:

"bitch. i told you to kill yourself. don't make me do it first. you can't just traipse around dating idols, you fucking whore. who do you think you are? you should be scared, knowing i have your address. kill yourself already. i shouldn't have to ask."

your breath came in shallow gasps. your heart threatened to pound out of your chest. this was the fourth letter you'd received. frantically, you shoved the letter back into it's sleeve, then sank to the ground.

the letters were the exception. you didn't know who was sending them. all you knew is that it was scaring you. you prayed it was a hoax. in fact, you'd been convinced that the first one was. but this was the fourth, and you were no longer thinking this was a joke.

suddenly, your cell phone rang, scaring you so hard you jumped. you stood up and left the room to go get your cell. and for a blissful few hours, the letter was forgotten.

- - -

you were in the bathroom reapplying makeup when you heard him come in.

“jongho-yah!” you called. “i’m back here!”

a moment later, your boyfriend rounded the corner, looking beautiful as ever. his dark hair was in a fluffy, wavy style today, and he was barefaced. you smiled as he came in, wrapping his arms around you from the back.

“y/n-ah.” he mumbled, his face buried in your hair.

you turned your head, hoping for a kiss. “hello.”

he responded by pressing his warm lips to yours. he ended the kiss quickly, pulling away to look you in the eyes. when you didn’t say anything, he did it again, this time lingering. he parted your lips with his own, and let his tongue brush the inside of your mouth.

this time you were the one who pulled away. “woah there, tiger.”

his face flushed. “i’m sorry, i just missed you.”

“i missed you too.”

he smiled and the two of you exited the bathroom, heading back out to the main room.

“are you hungry?” he asked, suggesting buying take-out.

you told him not yet. for a few minutes, the two of you made idle conversation, considering how you were going to spend the evening.

out of the blue, you were overcome with a sudden chill. you shivered, running your hands over your bare arms. “hold on, babe. let me grab a sweatshirt.”

you slipped into your bedroom, seeking out your favorite black hoodie. (stolen from jongho, of course.)

when you emerged from your room, you saw your boyfriend standing at the kitchen counter, mindlessly thumbing through your mail.

your mail.

the letter.

you gasped, rushing to where he was standing. your sudden movement startled him, and he stepped back. frantically, you snatched the envelope off of the surface of the counter.

jongho raised his eyebrows. “what was that?”

“nothing.” you answered too quickly, and his brow furrowed.

“baby, are you okay? where is the letter from?”

“it’s not important.” you snapped, reaching to shove it in the trash. before you could get it in, though, jongho had slipped the letter from your hand.

“jongho!” you yelped. “wait, please-”

but it was too late. he had gotten the letter out, and his eyes were already scanning the page.

a beat passed, the room filling with thick, insufferable silence.

then, finally, he spoke. his voice was low.

“what the fuck is this?”

you squeaked, reaching for the letter again. jongho spun around, grabbing your wrist midair.

“y/n-ah! what the hell is this?!” his voice had risen.

tears threatened to spill over your cheeks. “it’s nothing, nothing! it’s just a joke, i promise-”

he cut you off. “y/n-ah.” your boyfriend’s voice broke. “is this the first?”

your vision blurred.

what were you supposed to say? that it wasn’t? that the letter was only the most recent, but you’d never told him? how do you tell the man you love that you’d been lying to him?

“y/n.” you’d never heard jongho speak with so much emotion. “how. many.”

your voice cracked as you responded. “this is the fourth.”

jongho’s face splintered. “the fourth?” he whispered, his voice foggy. his eyes were unfocused. a beat passed, then; “why wouldn’t you tell me?”

your knees threatened to buckle. you didn’t want him to know for so many reasons. because you loved him. because he loved you. because you didn’t want him to worry. because you didn’t want to get him in trouble. because you didn’t-

“what the hell is wrong with you? why wouldn’t you tell me?”

in that moment, you swore you felt your heart crack.

the room was once again filled with a suffocating silence, strangling you as he turned his thoughts over.

finally, he spoke, the realization having hit him.

“you didn’t want me to worry. to blame myself.”

somehow, even though the sentences themselves seemed kind, your boyfriend’s tone practically dripped in venom. you looked back up at him, vision blurry, but he plowed on.

“y/n, that’s not how relationships work. why would you hide this? why would you put your health, your happiness-” he stuttered, having a hard time voicing his emotions. “your fucking safety! your life, goddammit! why would you rather risk that than worry me?!”

something in his voice began to anger you, and you snapped back at him, surprising the both of you.

“because, jongho! because i fucking KNEW-” you slam your finger into his chest. “i knew you’d blame yourself, just like you are right now!”

“i blame myself because it’s my fault!”

“how?!” your voice rose to meet his. “how the hell is this your fault?”

“because it’s me! i’m the issue here!” he seethed. “if you were dating any normal guy, this wouldn’t happen. “but no. i was the one who fell in love with you, and now you carry around a weight you never asked for.”

you inhaled sharply, responding before you could even fully absorb his words. “but i chose you, too! i love you, and i’m willing to carry that weight, i always have been!”

“but that’s not the point! the point is that in the end, this!-” he gestured angrily to the letter. “this is because of me. and i hate it. because you know damn well who those come from. they come from crazy fucking people who don’t want to see you with me.”

you sighed, indignant and angry. “i don’t see why it has to be your problem! that is my fucking name on the letter, not yours.”

“but you wouldn’t be getting shit like that in the first place if it weren’t for me!” a beat passed and suddenly his whole body seemed to deflate. “it’s my own fucking fault for loving you.”

you couldn’t possibly think of how to respond.

“you... you get so much shit for being with me, and you know it won’t stop. i’ve made your life so much harder than it has to be.”

you opened your mouth to protest, but your boyfriend plows on.

“if only i wasn’t part of the equation- this would be unthinkable then.”

you felt ravaged. like you were dangling on the edge of a cliff, barely holding on. once, jongho had been your support. your rock. now- now you felt the air beneath your feet, sending chills through you as your heart hung by a thread.

“god.” he put his face in his hands. “god, sometimes i just wish i’d never met you.”

the thread snapped. you let go of the cliff.

you fell.

you inhaled as the brutal words hit you. they entered like a smooth knife, only to be jerked and twisted in your gut. you took a step back, silent tears streaming down your face.

jongho instantly realized his mistake, his face paling. “y/n...” his voice was almost a whisper as he neared tears himself. “you know i didn’t mean it like that,” he took a hold of your wrist, and you jerked it back.

“no.” you managed. your voice was scratchy and hoarse. “no. you did.”

you couldn’t look him in the eyes. turning away, you stumbled towards your front door. without stopping to think- to think that it was already late, to think that you were leaving your own apartment- you shoved on your shoes and left. you didn’t even take your cell phone.

- - -

back in the kitchen, jongho’s knees buckled, and he sank to the ground. a moment passed. then he put his head in his hands, and for the first time in ages, he sobbed- letting the world swallow him and his feelings whole.

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jamilelucato · 4 years ago

Text

Popcorn Taste [F.W]

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader

Summary: It’s a bit awkward spending Christmas in the Burrow after what happened between you and Fred.

Warning: there’s a drunk scene, but the characters are not underage; fluffy;

A/N: of course I’m participating in my own challenge, why not? So this is Day 7- Making A Popcorn Garland for the A Very Harry Potter Christmas with @whack-ed

Harry Potter Masterlist || Musical Hogwarts Series

Generally, being invited to spend the holidays with the Weasley was all you could’ve wished. This year, however, staying in that small house locked with tons of red-heads was not your first goal.

Nevertheless, when the letter arrived, there was nothing you could do but sigh and reply with “thanks for the invite; yes, I’m coming; no, I’m not bringing someone with me.”

Mrs and Mr Weasley had a special place in your heart — for all the days they allowed you to stay with them, particularly during the dark times of war, and after it, when you were alone. You had no choice but to show up and, fair enough, it wasn’t all that bad. You liked the older couple; you always laughed around Bill; Charlie had unique stories to tell, and even Percy remained quite pleasant and able to communicate when you were around.

It was the next son in line that worried your guts and caused the butterflies in your stomach to fly around.

You took one last look at your flat before holding tight to your luggage before Apparating to the Burrow. It was one week before Christmas, but it was the exact day — and time — that Mrs Weasley had written for you to show up.

CRACK!

The loud sound (of what probably used to be) a vase breaking echoed in the house, and you involuntarily ducked, even though there was no one in the living room to see you.

“[y/n]? Is that you?” Molly’s voice found its way to where you were still scared to move and break something else.

“It’s me, Molly,”— she would never allow you to call her Mrs Weasley in front of her — “and I think I broke something.”

She found her way to the living room, carefully stepping away from the broken pieces and reaching for you with her hands, firstly cupping your face and squeezing your cheeks before pulling you in a proper hug.

“It’s okay, dear! I’m so happy you came,” she whispered in your ear, before pulling you away and reaching for your luggage, not even asking if you wanted help.

“She’s been talking about you all week.”

At first, the voice seemed familiar, and it made you shiver until Molly stepped out of your sight and revealed the real speaker, standing near the door sill — and although he looked a lot like who you thought he was, he still wasn’t him.

“Hi, George,” you smiled sympathetically, slowly moving towards the younger twin, paying attention not to step on the broken vase.

He received you with a quick but tight hug. When you pulled away, your eyes searched for the other half of that pair, but you didn’t find the other identical face.

“Fred’s coming later,” George explained the question that you didn’t ask aloud.

“I wasn’t looking for him,” you denied with some charm, more out of fear of Molly listening and having second thoughts than fear of George finding out what was going on in the dark corners of your mind.

After all, you were pretty sure that George already knew.

When you surreptitiously looked back, however, Molly and her bags were no longer in the room.

“Since Mum’s taking care of your accommodation, come help me with de-gnoming the yard,” George suggested, putting one of his long arms over your shoulders and pulling you close.

“I thought this job was Ron’s,” you said, having a vague memory of a Christmas years ago, “and Potter’s.”

George smiled. “Ronniekins and Harriekins are only coming later in the night,” he explained, guiding you out of the Burrow. “But I think you’ll like to see who’s helping me out in the yard.”

As soon as he opened the door to the back, your eyes scanned the place, soon finding red hair in the wind, too long to belong to any other Weasley but: “Bill!!” you shouted, running towards him.

Bill smiled when he turned and saw you, and greeted you with a warm hug, as he always did when you spent days at the Burrow and felt left out.

“Hi, little one,” he stroked your hair before putting you back on the ground. “I think we have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Tell me about it! You’ll never know...” Bill let you vent until you saw the platinum blond woman coming towards the three of you, and she had a hand positioned at the end of her belly as if it was too heavy to carry. “Oh, my Merlin!!!”

Bill chuckled at your reaction at his pregnant wife.

You rushed to get closer to Fleur, afraid she was too slow because of the child she carried in her womb, but you slowed down when you got close, scared you could hurt her.

“Fleur! I can’t believe it! Can I...?” you looked down at where her hands were placed.

“Sure,” she said with her French accent still very strong. She smiled at you while you delicately pressed your hands on her belly, trying to feel the life growing on her.

“How long...?”

“Four months,” Bill answered from behind you. “We wanted to be sure before telling the family.”

“And you were right in doing so,” you said between gasps of surprise — you were still very much fascinated with it. “Hey, George, when are you and Angelina....”

“Don’t even start!” he interrupted you in a protest and soon everybody was laughing, just like old times.

You weren’t surprised when, after a long two hours of de-gnoming the backyard and a well-deserved hot bath, you found your suitcase in the twins’ room.

Molly had installed you there for two reasons. The first was that gradually over the day, the rest of the Weasley siblings were arriving, and so the rooms filled up.

Bill and his wife stayed in his room; Percy and his wife switched places with Ginny in search of a larger one, so Ginny and Hermione were cramped in Percy’s old small room. Ron and Harry would share Ron’s room upstairs, and Charlie had his room to himself, as it was also a tiny room.

Therefore, the only room large enough to accommodate an extra mattress was the twins’.

The second reason was that you had been used to sleeping there since you were fifteen when on the hottest summer nights you ran away from Ginny’s room and were welcomed next to Fred and George. When you were a teen, you believed you did a great job being discreet, but now at 21, you reconsidered that maybe Molly always knew, but pretended not to see.

You quickly changed, afraid the boys could come in at any moment. You had heard Fred’s voice �� Merlin, you’d recognize it at any distance — when you were getting out of the bathroom, so you were extra nervous when you left the room and headed to the kitchen, where the majority of the family was. Except for Fleur who needed to rest and Percy, his wife and Charlie that were in the living room.

“Here, she is!” Fred’s voice greeted you in that heartwarming way that only he had, and with just a couple of steps he reached you and held you in a tight hug, slightly taking your feet off the ground.

“Hi, Freddie,” you whispered in his ear with a chuckle while he put you back on the floor. You saw his cheeks turning red because of the nickname and thought it was the cutest thing ever.

“Hope you’re hungry,” said George from behind Fred, but you couldn’t see him — Fred was your only view at that moment.

“Always am, Weasley,” you replied, placing your hands in the back pockets of your jeans and walking towards the smell of warm food. You had no idea what it was — you always sucked with scents — but it looked good. Fred turned in the direction you were walking, watching you.

Like you, he was scared to death that you both would be startled the next time you saw each other, but as soon as his eyes met yours, he couldn’t contain the joy and desire to at least embrace you.

The thing was, last time you two had seen each other was on a party in the twins flat, and, after a couple of drinks, you ended up kissing Fred in a bathroom. It actually happened like this:

“What are you doing here?” Fred asked when you stepped in the small bathroom of his room. He wasn’t angry, just surprised. Besides, he wasn’t naked or something — he had already done whatever he needed to do in the bathroom, but he needed to wash his hands before leaving.

“I know you said for us to use the guest bathroom, but whoever is in there hasn’t left since,” you sighed, staring at him slowly, taking your time to appreciate the view, “and I need to pee.”

“Oh, I’ll leave.”

“Please, don’t,” you said, a bit too fast. Even drunk, you noticed that you didn’t even hesitate. “It’s just... I’ll get lost in here alone.”

Fred looked around. He was drunk too, but he still had a clear idea that his flat wasn’t at all that big.

“Okay,” he agreed slowly, unsure of what else to say. He then turned to face the door, allowing you to do whatever you needed to do with some privacy.

Deep down, he loved the idea of being in a small room with you. It’s just, he was drunk, so it wasn’t the first scenario he had in mind.

“You can turn now,” you said; your voice followed by the sound of the flush. You stepped closer to the sink — there really wasn’t much space there — and after washing your hands, you were left to confront your darkest fears.

Fred stared down at you, his head above yours just like always, only this time, he was so close that it was almost terrifying. It made you weak in the knees. And you were so drunk...

“Kiss me.”

“Huh?” Fred shocked his head. He had heard you, he just wasn’t sure you wanted to make his wildest dreams come true.

“Kiss me, Freddie,” oh, the nickname — it was his weak spot, and he was so close now. Your hands cupped his cheekbone.

“You are drunk,” he stated, noticing that at any other circumstances, you wouldn’t have the balls.

“So are you,” you smiled, leaning closer to him and finally ending the last millimetres that were in your way.

Both of you remembered the kiss, even though the approach seemed to be like it never happened. It didn’t last much — someone knocked on the door, asking for Fred, saying they needed to say good-bye, and so he left you alone in that bathroom with just your thoughts and his smell all over you.

It had been two months since the kiss, and you two ignored each other since. Some nights, you wish you could’ve forgotten it, but how could you when every time you closed your eyes your brain replayed the moment?

“Lost in thoughts?” asked Molly as she placed some food in your plate during dinner.

You stared at her — truly lost in thoughts. She smiled, forcing you to smile back, but the corner of your mind was still thinking about Fred and the fact that in a couple of hours you’d be sleeping in his room. With him.

Dinner went well, and even the late hours by the fire — even though Ginny and Ron left you to sit on the floor. It was easy to distract yourself from Fred when he had like, a ton of other siblings to talk to. And unfortunately, that’s what you did — avoided talking to only him the whole night.

When you finally gathered enough courage, you went to the bedroom, already in your pyjamas. You came across a snoring George (how easy it was for him to sleep, it was a mystery), but Fred’s bed was still empty.

As you entered the room trying to make as little noise as possible, you realized that there was already a body on your mattress on the floor.

“Fred?”

Red hair fluttered, and in the dim light of the only candle in the room, you saw Fred’s eyes shine when they met you.

“What are you doing on my mattress?”

“Yours?” he asked in a voice not as low as yours. Perhaps he knew the limits of his brother’s hearing better than you. “You didn’t think I was going to let you sleep on the floor, did you?”

“Fred, please, it wouldn’t be a bother...”

“[y/n], just accept my bed for today. ’M already very well settled here to leave,” he debated, gesturing with his neck towards himself, where he really looked comfortable under a thick blanket.

You sighed, knowing very well, after years of being Fred and George’s best friend that there was no point with arguing. So you jumped on his old bed, trying to find a position, but already knowing it’d take you at least a couple of hours to finally sleep.

In a quick and not calculated movement, your head ended up turned on the pillow, making your breathing more limited, thus having to breathe through it.

It was a bad idea because, without warning, Fred’s scent invaded your nostrils. It wasn’t a bad smell, quite the contrary — it was very much inviting and, knowing that Fred was only less than a meter from you and remembering the taste of his kiss, sleeping was suddenly impossible that night.

You sighed, but could not move, paralyzed in that position — it was as if your body was addicted to his scent, and you wanted more and more. When you finally fell asleep, the dream that invaded your subconscious was not much different than what you imagined before you went to sleep.

“Popcorn duty?” asked Fred, catching up to you with just a couple of large steps.

“Yeah,” you sighed, trying not to sound so disappointed. Of course, spending time with Fred was marvellous, but since you kissed him and he never mentioned it again, it kinda seemed fair to you not want to be alone with him.

Fred didn’t notice something off with your tone, so he kept walking next to you towards the kitchen, where Molly had told you the popcorn was.

Placing yourselves next to each other, you were left responsible for holding the fishing wire, and Fred was in charge of the popcorn. You handed the point of the wire for him, who sought advice with his eyes.

You helped him with your hands — this time, you were the one to blush with the touch. You did not expect his hands to be so warm in the middle of winter.

“Do you reckon Mum would mind if we ate one?” he asked, raising a single popcorn up. “Or two?”

You chuckled at his worries, looking down at the bowl filled with old popcorn. You had no idea why he thought that was delicious. It still smelled like good popcorn, but you knew that, for these types of garlands, it needed to be ready, like, at least, one week earlier.

“They don’t look very appetizing to me,” you commented, tilting your head towards him, holding tightly to the wire since Fred seemed reckless with the thing.

“Ah,” Fred sighed, using the popcorn that he was about to eat to place in the garland. He seemed to be getting the hang of it by now. “Well, I’m just hungry,” he shrugged innocently.

“I bet. It’s not like you just ate breakfast, right?” you chuckled, and Fred joined, looking at you with the same sparkly eyes that captured your heart when you were just a kid. He had no idea that you have been liking him for so long.

“I’ll tell you what, before we go to bed, we can watch a movie and I’ll make you new popcorn,” you offered after a moment of silence. Fred wasn’t the quiet type of guy, so when the room was filled with it, something was definitely wrong.

He smiled with the opportunity you gave him. “Asking me on a date, [y/n]?”

You elbowed him, laughing nervous first, but when you realized that he was just teasing you, your laugh became more real. It was so easy to have fun with Fred.

After a few years of romantically craving him so strongly, you had forgotten that he was also a great friend.

“You wish, Weasley,” you chuckled.

Charlie walked in the kitchen, followed by Ron, and both of the brothers stared at you two for a while before getting back to what they planned on doing.

“Having fun?” asked Charlie with the cutest British mixed with Romanian accent ever.

You exchanged looks with Fred.

“No, he’s pretty boring,” you shrugged, before dropping your act and laughing out loud.

“[y/n] won’t let me eat the popcorn,” Fred said, getting on board with your joke.

“That’s not what I said,” you raised a brow. Ron was about to roll his eyes, very much tired of your thing with Fred. He remembered you two back in school and how annoying and oblivious you two were. He was just like that with Hermione, but you were never the one to point it out.

“I said that this popcorn is old,” you reached for one yourself, “and disgusting.”

“Are you complaining about Mum’s food?” Fred asked, dropping the wire over the table and crossing his arms, trying to look intimidating.

“She didn’t make it for us to eat it,” you pointed out.

Charlie was leaned in the sink counter, watching the scene with a glass of water in his hands, trying hard not to laugh at the fact that you two were acting like an old couple. It kinda reminded him of when he was younger, and Arthur and Molly couldn’t stop arguing about what to do with the too-big-to-enter-the-house Christmas Tree.

“Let’s go, Charlie,” Ron called his older brother. “The ball ornaments won’t paint themselves.”

“You guys are painting the ornaments?” you expression suddenly turned blue. Fred looked down at you, feeling worried. “Oh, I wish I was painting.”

Fred bit his lip before suggesting “Why don’t you go with them? I think I can finish this myself.”

You looked from the bowl of popcorn still full with it to Fred, who had the cutest of faces.

“Nah, you need me,” you said and then gulped at the double meaning of your words. “I mean, need me to finish this.”

Charlie and Ron exchanged suspicious looks while Fred stared at you, smiling with his eyes.

“Should we...?” Ron whispered to Charlie, who just placed his hands in the youngest’s back and pushed it.

“Just go,” Charlie whispered back, leaving you and Fred to get back to your own rhythm with things, distracted with each other.

When the popcorn garlands where ready, the tree was already inside the house — job done by Arthur and Bill. They had picked a beautiful tree (and to Charlie’s relief, this one fit the house).

Ginny and Hermione were the two focusing on placing the decorations on the right places, following the orders of Molly and Fleur (although the girls seemed to be paying attention only to Molly’s suggestions).

You were about to sit in the middle of Fred and George in the couch when Ron, Charlie, Percy and his wife walked in the house, holding a big transparent box filled with painted balls.

“Ow, let me see them!” you rushed next to Charlie and deepened your hands inside. “Are they still fresh?”

“No,” Charlie replied, noticing you were scared of ruining the ornaments.

The first one your hands touched you brought up, noticing it had two different names on it. In one side, [y/n] was written, but the other had Fred on it.

“Why two names?” you really wanted to ask why it was yours and Fred’s, but there were too many people on the room.

Ron and Charlie gulped, while Percy and his wife exchanged happy side looks.

“Mum wanted two names in each because she felt like our names were too short,” said Ron, but his explanation didn’t please anyone on the room, “or something,” he added a second later.

You placed the ball in your hands back in the box, and Charlie offered you a sympathetic smile.

You headed back to the couch, watching the girls finish placing the ornaments. Molly walked in, with a lot of bags on her hand, so Bill and George got up to help, leaving you and Fred on the couch alone.

“So... our date’s still up?”

You turned your face to him, at first confused, but then giggling.

“It’s not a date.”

“Did you invite anyone else?” he asked, leaning closer to you involuntarily.

“No,” you said as if it was clear.

“Then it is a date,” he smirked. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you asked me out.”

“Oh, shove off, Weasley,” you pushed him slightly, both of you laughing. Oh, how you wanted it to be a real date.

But sure it wasn’t. It couldn’t be, right? you wondered, staring at him from the corner of your eye.

“Okay, they’re gone,” Fred said, calling you from the stairs. You left his room on tiptoes, scared of waking the house up and reached him at the bottom of the staircase.

You two waited for everyone to leave the living room �� where the only TV in the house could be found — and pretended to go to bed as well. When Fred’s watch pointed to one in the morning, he shook your arm slightly (waking you up but you’d never confess you had slept) and you both left for your adventure.

“So what movie did you get us?”

He turned to face you, who was sitting in the couch, bringing the blanket you had taken with yourself closer to your chin.

“While You Were Sleeping,” he answered. “Seemed to be the youngest Mum had around.”

“It’s a romance,” you pointed out, tilting your head provocatively.

“It’s not a...” Fred looked up to the TV where Sandra Bullock started walking around the streets. “It’s a romance,” he sighed, defeated.

You chuckled. “I like it. But do you?”

“Ahn,” he seemed lost in thought. “It doesn’t matter.”

You had no idea what that meant, but you gave him some room to sit next to you in the couch and for him to get under the covers, while the popcorn in your lap kept you two moving your mouths.

The movie seemed quite pleasant, but it was hard to pay attention when Fred’s smell was all over you once again, the only smell your body had no problem identifying.

You gulped in the dark. “Are you enjoying it?” you asked, sure that romantic movies could not possibly be Fred’s favourite genre.

“Yep,” he answered a bit too fast. Suspicious, you thought.

“Who’s your favourite character?” you decided to test him.

“The girl.”

“Why’s that?” his answers seemed too generic so when replied this last question you made, you were surprised.

“She likes the guy, but she’s afraid to give up what she idealized. She’s scared of the new,” he said, and although the answer appeared accurate to the movie, something told you he was not talking about Sandra Bullock’s character.

You turned to face him, noticing that he was way closer to you then you thought. Perhaps all the warm did not come from only the blanket. Fred gulped when he saw you staring at him.

“I think she has a valid reason for that.”

The corners of his lips raised just a little. “What’s that?”

“The guy hasn’t been very clear about what he wants either.”

Fred gulped, feeling his cheeks burn. You were right — he wasn’t talking about the movie character.

“Kiss me.”

Oh, the sentence that has been hunting both of you down this time was voiced by Fred Weasley and that could have not left you more speechless.

So you knew what you had to do, after all, the guy was being very clear about what he wanted.

Your lips met his, this time with no rush. It was like when a hummingbird meets a flower — delicate, even though deep down very much desperate.

At this moment, you two were alone, and you had time, and you weren’t drunk. This time was going to be perfect, and Merlin, how it was! Fred had this unique way of touching you softly but fervently, and each time his hands changed position, your body twisted, wanting more, wanting him to kiss you everywhere, hoping he wouldn’t go away.

When you two finally parted, after several attempts to do so, but neither wanting to stop kissing yet, he smirked down at you, leaving your body in his embrace.

“You taste like popcorn,” he said, breaking the silence of the living room since the movie had ended and neither of you had noticed.

“I hope it’s the good one,” you smiled too, feeling surrendered to his charms.

It was good to have him around you, his body twisted with yours, and it was even best to know that he wanted you as much or even more than you craved him.

“It’s the best one,” he said, before kissing you again.

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #Fred and George #Fred and George Weasley #george and fred #fred and george imagine #george weasley x reader #fred x reader #fred x y/n #a very harry potter christmas #christmas #harry potter #hazrry potter christmas #fred weasley christmas

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wyn-n-tonic · 4 years ago

Text

I Don't Count

Word Count: 1,479 Warnings: Drinking. Mentions of a car accident (briefly). Soft caretaker baby Will Miller. It's just fluffy. Author's Note: Fully formed this out of my need for a hug and comfort and decided I wanted to write it for the only blonde haired, blue eyed man I'd ever let get in these guts.

MASTERLIST

The Millers still had a landline. Of course they did. Benny’s big brother was very staunch about his boundaries. If he wasn’t going out after work, his cellphone went off as soon as he walked across the threshold. If you needed to reach him for any reason after that, you could call the house phone.

“But it better be a goddamn emergency,” he’d always say.

She bit her thumbnail as it rang, leg bouncing to a nonsensical rhythm. A drumming only she could hear. Once, twice. It was her last ditch effort to reach her best friend, to hear his voice telling her everything is okay. Three times and,

“Hello?”

Not Benny.

She contemplates hanging up, her voice stuck somewhere in her chest. This was most certainly not an emergency no matter what the bottle she’d been nursing had to say about it. But she can’t. Can’t speak. Not to Will, not about this.

Can’t let the phone fall from her ears. Can’t even breathe.

“Shane,” he sounds concerned, “are you okay?”

“I uh—“ the breath releases, “I was looking for Benny.”

A small laugh on the other end, “it’s Tuesday, Sunshine, he’s at the gym.”

Sunshine, his nickname for her. It started out as Sunshane but he got pissed at the autocorrect of his own brain, stopped fighting it after a while.

A sharp sound rings through, a whistle to get her attention.

“You didn’t answer my question,” it’s warm, “are you okay?”

She sniffs, “yeah, Billy—“

Another laugh, both disbelieving and amused, “you can’t lie to me. What’s going on?”

“Just…” another swig, “have Benny call me when he gets home, okay?”

“Are you drinking?” Not amused.

“I’m an adult, Miller, I drink.” It’s harsh.

“Yeah,” another disbelieving laugh, this time at your boldness, “but you sound like shit. Why are you drinking?”

Because I’m forcing my feelings for you onto others and I have the gall to be shocked when it blows up in my face.

“Look,” she’s pacing the kitchen, “just have Benny give me a call when he gets home. I’m really sorry t—“

“Did that fucking boyfriend do something?”

There it is, the sob she’d been swallowing.

“Give me half an hour,” he whispers down the line, “I’ll have my cell if you need anything, okay?” —————

The bottle’s gone when there’s a knock at the door.

She jumps but settles back against the couch, believing it must be coming from somewhere deep within the wine soaked sponge of her brain.

But there it is again, “it’s me, Sunshine,” coming from the other side.

She stands too quickly, blood rushing to her head as her right foot struggles to come back to life. He knocks again, nothing if not persistent.

“Don’t make me bust down this door, you know I can do it.”

She fumbles with the chain lock with wildly inebriated fingers, scratching desperately with her nails to get it through that little fucking hole. It springs free and she’s working at the deadbolt, much simpler, before throwing the door wide to the man on the other side.

“Would you really have busted down my door, Miller?” She slurs out, ever the lightweight.

He shrugs, “yeah but… I would’ve built you a new one so…”

“What's that?” She notices the bags for the first time, swinging idly at his side.

“I figured you were about halfway through the bottle earlier when you called, based on how the swish of liquid sounded on the pho—“

She rolls her eyes, “it's fucking creepy how you do that.”

“—so I brought cheeseburgers.”

She launches unsteadily toward him, wrapping her arms around his midsection.

“May I come in?”

His scent fills her senses, fresh laundry and a hint of Tom Ford as she nods against his broad chest.

Letting go, she stumbles back into the tiny apartment, the couch taking over the entire wall of the living room, and plops back down with her feet tucked under her as she makes grabby hands for the bag in Will’s hand.

He catches her out of his peripheral while he refastens the lock on the door, “can you be patient?”

“Absolutely not,” she whines out, “I'm starving.”

He toes his shoes off at the door and pads to the front of the couch, in front of her, and kneels down. He reaches into the bag and hands her a burger, “I got you two singles because I know you feel self conscious when you try to eat a double. Even when you’re alone.”

“But I’m not alone,” she mumbles through a bite, wrapper torn in half as soon as it touched her hands.

“I don’t count, I’m just Will.”

She almost chokes at that, because he does count.

“I'm really not trying to deep throat a fucking Big Mac in front of my best friend’s older brother.”

“Oh,” he stands and kisses the top of her head, “Is that all I am?”

Absolutely not.

She watches him walk into the kitchen, the clinking of glass and the sound of the tap rushing back out to meet her.

Thoughts swim in her drunk mind, the events of the day—the phone call, the fight, the follow up text messages. Colin’s raised voice still ringing through her ears as he accused her, “I don’t know if it’s Will or Ben but you’re fucking one of them and I’m done!”

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He’s soft, pulling the wrapper from her hands and pushing a glass of water in place of it.

“Um, ya know,” she swallows hard around the lump building in her throat again, “just what typically happens with men in my life.”

He looks defeated, apologetic. Colin’s not the first to accuse her of being with a Miller. It’s been a theme of the last three—Ryan, John, Adam—and this makes four. Four men that William Miller wishes he could add to his confirmed kills list.

That’s not what she wants to hear right now though, no matter how safe his words of protection always make her feel. Because it doesn’t matter.

“I'm sorry,” his heavy hand falls on the bare skin of her calf, sending a bolt of electricity through her body.

She was relieved.

Colin wasn’t right but he wasn’t far off from the truth she’s been hiding.

She’s in love with William Miller.

“Hey, Sunshine” his rough thumb across the smooth skin guides her back, “where are you?”

The alcohol has her still, a looseness in the hurt of her heart that makes up her mind before she fully realizes the words are already coming out of her mouth.

“He’s not wrong, Billy. None of them have really been wrong.”

He laughs, fingers stilled on her leg and she is aching for the movement to return as his stare seeps through her pores.

“You and Benny got something you need to tell me?”

Her breath is shaky.

She trails her fingers along his wrist before placing her palm on the back of his. Now or never.

“I think it’s more like you and I have something to tell Benny.”

He pulls away, blue eyes piercing through her, “you're drunk, Shane.”

“Just enough to not give a shit anymore,” she whispers, lifting herself up to her knees and pressing closer to him, “I know how we look at each other, Will.”

“Benny will kill us.”

She giggles, “I’ve been to his fights, my money’s on you.”

His heart swells as his laughter jumps up to meet hers. This is the first time they’ve been alone together, properly alone, since he realized his love ran deeper than that of just a friend.

When he realized on the last mission that he just really missed the smell of her hair when she gives him a hug. Or the way she laughs the hardest out of everybody whenever he tells a dumb joke.

He came home and, to stop himself from being reckless, made sure that he was only ever around when Benny was. He didn’t want to fuck up Benny’s friendship, that was something his little brother could excel at on his own.

But now, with her full lips inches from his, he decides.

It’s a decision he made less than an hour ago when her name popped up on the caller ID—she’d only called the house phone one other time, a car accident, and that same worry seeped beneath his skin again.

Her fingers run through the soft hair on the side of his head, his lips heavy against hers as he pulls her in and pushes her down.

He breaks away, “Are you sure?”

A question that dies with a crash as she tugs him back to her and he melts against her warmth when—

Her phone vibrates.

Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll…

Benny.

#charlie hunnam #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #william 'ironhead' miller #william miller #will miller #ofc #original female character #oc #original character #fanfic #fanfiction

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dinogoofy · 4 years ago

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Scorpion/GN!reader!-pt 3

Might kiss you, might rip your guts out.

Mostly fluffy goodness this chapter! Enjoy!

It had been a month and a half of non-stop training and work, and you still did not stay long in the air at all. After the first month you had started to use the roof of the temple to get yourself startled, with Hanzo's permission, of course.

It was surprising. How you had managed to calm down around him. After all this time… It was easy to recognize that he didn't lie when he said he beat Scorpion. The man had truly defeated the monster, but even then it didn't stop you from flinching when he sparred with his students. He hadn't asked you about that yet, and you almost hoped that he hadn't noticed.

The ground came fast, and you slowed as you came out of the dive, wings straining once again as you slowed the fall. But it was not enough to give you a soft landing. You landed feet first this time, but with the sudden force of gravity a simple shift of balance had you rocking back on your feet and falling on your butt.

"You did better this time." You sighed, groaning in frustration. Hanzo's steps grew closer, and you peered up at his hand as he offered to help you up. You reached out and took it without much hesitation, brushing the dirt off your clothes after.

"Better, but not good enough." Hanzo shook his head at you, handing you the stopwatch the two of you had been using to record your progress.

"It took you seventeen seconds to slow down. Your speed has stayed consistent, but your landings have improved immensely from when we first started." He stopped, holding onto his next words. You scrunched your lips up in a semi-annoyed frown.

"You're about to tell me to take a break." Hanzo furrowed his eyebrows at you. Shaking his head at your stubbornness.

"You've been at this since before the clan's morning rounds. You only stopped to eat at Takeda's request, you're burning too many calories for your body to keep up with. Your wings-" You shot him a glare. He sighed. "-Your wing, is starting to give out." You scoffed at him. Flexing the two appendages back and forth, too stubborn to admit the biting soreness coming from the scarred wing. You had built strength in it after the few months you had spent with the Shirai Ryu, and the fact that you had trained for so long today without it giving out or twitching once had built a sense of urgency in you. A kind of rush that had you pushing yourself past the limits of your body. You didn't want to stop, even if you knew it was only hurting you.

You went to set the timer for the stopwatch yourself. As it seemed like the esteemed grandmaster wouldn't be staying with you much longer.

"I don't-" Hanzo interrupted you with both his body and his voice. His hands shooting out, holding the stopwatch firmly in between your hands. You flinched, but steadied your breathing. He wouldn't hurt you. He wouldn't.

"There's a difference between training yourself to be stronger, and pushing your body till it breaks. I've learned that from experience." Your shoulders sagged a bit at the confession. He squeezed your hand gently.

"I'm telling you as a friend, you need to stop." With a sigh, you took one last look at his worried brown eyes, and stepped away. He smiled lightly as you pocketed the watch. You looked up at the late afternoon sun in the sky, shining brightly in the clear sunny day. God, how you wished that you could make it all the way up there again.

"I was going to stroll through the gardens, would you like to join me? I'm sure it would help you relax." You hummed, contemplating for a moment. Hanzo was waiting patiently for your answer. He had backed up at least an arm's length away from you, and you were almost comforted by the courtesy. It seems he noticed your flinch from earlier. Your lips pressed together into a line, and you looked at the sky for one last moment before directing your gaze back to Hanzo.

"Alright." He smiled, and you stayed by his side as the two of you strolled through the beautiful gardens.

He was right when he said it might be relaxing. The soft breeze and smell of nature filling your senses. The wind tickled your feathers as it flowed through them. You closed your eyes for just a moment as you followed the path, taking a deep breath. If you were to settle down and find a home, you had decided that you needed to find a place like this. Quiet, kind, warm, filled with nature and calming sights.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Hazo hummed. Surprised at your sudden words. You opened your eyes, but continued to face forward, not looking at Hanzo.

"How did you manage to find a place so… well, calm. Comforting. It wasn't something I was expecting from you." Your words caught in your throat, and you folded your arms, suddenly aware of how awful that sounded.

"-I mean, I… I really wasn't expecting a lot from you in the first place. But even then you exceeded my expectations." Hanzo smiled stiffly, eyes somber yet understanding. All you could hear was the crunching gravel under your feet for a moment.

"It wasn't always this way." He spoke softly. "When I became myself again, this place was desolate. Abandoned. It wasn't really the fire gardens, it was only an abandoned piece of land." He stopped for a moment.

"And before then, it was glorious. It wasn't calm like it is now, but it was happy. A place for my family to grow. For my wife and son to thrive." He… he had a family? It was a sensitive subject, you knew it had to be based on his sad tone, so you quench your curiosity. If he wanted to tell you about them, he would. You shouldn't pry.

"... when they died, I had almost abandoned the temple so that I could avenge them. When I returned, and realized what I had done… I had to restore the gardens. And along with it, the Shirai Ryu. I replanted the trees, rebuilt the foundation, and abandoned my ways of rage. All I had left to do was form my own redemption." You purse your lips, blinking away the tears that stung at the edge of your eyes. His story was devastating, but a frustration filled your chest at his last words.

"Is that why you offered me aid? To build yourself up again?" You said, maybe a little more bitterly than you had meant to. Hazo shook his head.

"I wanted to help you. Truly. I did. There was not a day after I killed you that I hadn't wondered who I had hurt. Whose family I had ripped away. I didn't know you then, and I can't say I truly know you know, but…" You and Hanzo had stopped along the path. He faced you again, and only a fool couldn't see the regret in his eyes.

"I would like to know you now, if you will let me." You sighed. Using your hands to wipe the tiredness from your eyes, and discreetly wiping away the tears as you did. He truly was trying to fix things, wasn't he? Well, you knew that the two of you could never start over like Kombat had never happened, but you respected his drive to make it up to you. You wondered how the two of you would treat each other if you had only met before the arena.

"Honestly?" You let the word out just above a whisper. "I wouldn't really mind that."

#scorpion imagines #scorpion #scorpion x reader #mk scorpion #enimies to friends to lovers #enimies to lovers #mk imagine #mk x reader

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dizzydancingdreamer · 4 years ago

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The Art of Losing at Mario Kart | Tony Stark

Hi my lovelies I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday!! Please enjoy some fluffy Tony and do take care of yourselves!!

Appetizers (Tags): Fluff

Entres (Pairing): Tony Stark x F!Reader, slight Platonic!Peter Parker x F!Reader (Third Person)

Sides (Prompts): 5: “You’re small, but you’re talking loud.”

Notes: Tony says line, Requested by Anon

Word Count: 1.5k

Dinner at Dizzy’s Master List

Her hands clutch the controller so tight her fingers hurt, her eyes locked on the TV screen like her life depends on it. It kind of does. The peppy music has long stopped being fun— now it sounds like a threat. Don’t lose, y/n. She grits her teeth, leaning forward until her elbows hit her knees, eyebrows creasing together as she completes another lap.

“That’s not going to help you win, baby.” Tony snickers, posture relaxed and a sly grin on his lips.

She scrunches her eyes as she narrowly avoids a shell he launches at her. “Shut up won’t you?”

He only laughs, continuing to hold the controller like this is the most boring thing he’s ever done. It makes her vision haze with red, her skin flaming from the inside out. How is he so effortlessly good at Mario Kart? She taps down on the a button relentlessly, head cocking, veins thrumming as she approaches the red car on the screen. Maybe she spoke too soon.

“Ooh—” she taunts, tapping the button to launch the banana peel she’s been saving— “what were you saying again? Who’s not going to win?”

As she says it her smile widens, teeth flashing at the man who’s smirk has significantly dropped. Now he’s leaning forward too, elbows on his knees and lip between his teeth.

“Oh it’s on now.”

For a moment all she can hear is the rapid tap, tap, tapping of buttons. The race becomes neck and neck, the pressure building— there’s no way she’s letting him plan a whole day together by himself; she doesn’t have a death wish. She has to win—

“Hey, Tones?” She mumbles quietly, a stark contrast to her previously snarky tone.

His eyes shift in her peripheral, eyes softening slightly. “Yeah, baby?”

She bites down on her lip, swallowing lightly. “I, erm, I think I know what I want to do after this.”

His hands falter, his head turning fully to look at her. “Go on.”

—She has to win even if it means playing dirty. God he’s so easy.

“I want to celebrate my win.”

“Wait, what?”

By the time he catches on it’s too late. With his head turned she pushes the toggle forward harder, smashing the a button to accelerate past the finish line. As soon as the First Place banner flashes across the flatscreen she’s out of her seat, arms thrown high in the air, jumping up and down like a child. She doesn’t care— the fact that she won— that she beat Tony Stark, the man who plays too much Mario Kart with Peter— is too exciting. Only the spider-kid can beat this man and now she has as well!

“Did you see that! Did you? That was amazing! I can’t believe that actually worked!” She lowers her voice, deepening it to match his “Go on, baby. You actually fell for that!”

She can’t stop the giggles as they come, hunching over to steady herself on her legs.

Tony groans, falling back on the cushions behind him, the controller landing with a defeated thud beside him. “You know, you’re small, but you’re talking loud.”

She giggles harder, scampering over to the man who looks like he wants to roll his eyes at her but is too busy staring at her like a love struck puppy. Despite losing— something which everyone in the compound— no, the world— knows he hates— he still watches her with a lazy smile, holding his arms out for her. She happily accepts the invitation, climbing onto his lap warm, hands falling to his face.

“Oh you love it, you’re just a sore loser.” She scratches her fingers through the stubble on his jaw, chest bubbling with warmth when he leans deeper into her touch.

“Only because I don’t lose.” He mumbles back, eyes closing with a content sigh.

She rolls her eyes at the man, letting the easy smile creep over her features. How did she end up with the most arrogant man in New York?

“You just lost, honey.” She points out, slipping her hands up and into his hair.

Scratching at his scalp she sinks deeper into his arms. He doesn’t open his eyes, only tilts his head back to follow her hands, fully absorbed in her touch. She follows suit, leaning her head on his shoulder. She could get used to this.

“Did I, though?”

She springs back up. “Of course you did.”

Tony cracks an eye open, the arrogant smirk back on his mouth. “Maybe I let you win.”

Her heart stutter, her gut twisting— he didn’t!

She narrows her eyes, pulling her hands from his hair. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Did he?

Leaning back towards her, ducking his head to nudge against her fingers, Tony laughs. She swats his head gently, grumbling at the man. Did he let her win? He better not have— she wants bragging rights. Well, bragging rights and to not die when he decides that the planned day he won means going skydiving or something else equally ridiculous. He may enjoy heights but she certainly does not.

When she doesn’t sink her fingers back against his scalp he takes her hands in his, wrapping them around his neck and passing her a smile that appears to be more like a laugh that’s been frozen on his lips. She has to bite back her own grin when she sees it. Instead she stares at the wall behind his head, glaring at the painting to keep from looking at him and cracking— she’s too soft for him, it makes being mad impossible.

“Baby c’mon, I’m just joking.” He pleads, massaging his fingers over hers. “You won just come back.”

She flicks her eyes to his half delighted, half worried gaze, letting the smile creep into place once more. Damnit. Maybe she’s the one who’s too easy.

“You swear?”

His warm hands find her cheeks, pulling her face down to his and pressing a quick but firm kiss to her lips before mumbling. “I swear— now let me properly congratulate you for your win.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Later that day she stumbles into the kitchen, a sheen of sweat coating her heavy limbs and a dopey smile on her face. As she rounds the corner to the fridge, feet slipping on the linoleum, she bumps into a similarly happy face.

“Oh, Peter, hey kid! Haven’t seen you around these past few days.”

She holds her fist out, waiting for his knuckles to bump against hers before turning back to her original task— water. So much water.

He laughs, grabbing a cup from the cupboard and passing it to her. “Yeah, been busy with SAT’s. They’re coming up soon. I’m kinda’ worried.”

She hums and passes him a grateful look, filling her cup from the jug in the fridge. “Ah, yes— the good old days. I remember taking those. I did terribly. Aren’t you, like, boy wonder or something, though? Kid genius? I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Eyes wide, cheeks pink, he stammers. “Oh well, no, I wouldn’t say gen—”

Rolling her eyes, she interrupts him with a laugh. “Don’t downplay yourself— you’re a genius. You’re good at everything! It’s almost annoying.”

Honestly it is annoying but he deserves— she’s seen how hard he works.

Peter laughs, awkwardly shrugging his shoulders. “Maybe.”

At least he’s humble.

She scrunches her nose, hopping up onto the counter as he opens the fridge next, pulling out a loaf of bread and the strawberry jam that Natasha has bought a few days ago. For a smart kid he really has a death wish. She nods at the jar and he holds a finger to his lips, the message clear— don’t tell. She giggles back, holding a hand over her heart— scout’s honor, boy wonder.

She kicks her feet, curling her toes to bring some of the feeling back, continuing with the conversation at hand. “Name one thing you can’t do.”

He pauses, butter knife clutched in his fist as he tilts his head, thinking. Of course he has to think about it. He’s like a mini Tony— too smart for his own good.

Finally his eyes fill with light, his brows raising as he comes to an answer— “Got it— I can’t win at Mario Kart against Mr. Stark.”

For a moment she giggles. He still calls Tony Mr. Star—

Wait.

Did he just say he can’t win against Tony at Mario Kart? No, that’s not possible—

“But I’ve seen you win.” She points out, setting her cup down a little too harshly, the glass thudding off the counter.

Peter, not noticing, laughs, shaking his head. “No, he only lets me win to impress you.” He flicks his eyes up from his sandwich, his face shifting when he sees her furrowed brows— “You didn’t know that?”

The glare on her face is enough of an answer. “Shit.”

He starts to shake his head but it’s too late; she’s already hopped off the counter, bare feet pounding on the floor as she starts storming out of the kitchen.

“Tony you have some explaining to do!”

Not long after she hears a groan followed by a—

“Not cool Parker!”

#Tony Stark #Tony Stark x Reader #Iron Man #Tony Stark x y/n #Iron man x reader #iron man x y/n #tony stark fic #tony stark imagine #tony stark fluff #iron man imagine #iron man fic #iron man fluff #peter parker #spider man #mcu #mcu fic #mcu fluff #marvel cinematic universe

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silentexplorer18 · 4 years ago

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The Nights I Hold You Close

Summary: As painful memories from your past are brought to the forefront of your mind, you have difficulties sleeping. Feitan notices and provides a surprising amount of support.

Pairing: Feitan Portor x Reader

Warnings: Nightmares, flashbacks, nervousness.

Word Count: 3,000+

Note: I was going through my old drafts and found a few I hadn't posted. I really liked this one, so here it is. Hopefully it brings everyone some joy!

Read on AO3 ▪ Masterlist

Night watch was almost always boring, which was never a good thing. However, lately two things in particular were making it worse. First, your latest mission with the Troupe—the mission you were currently guarding the hideout for—had stirred some deeply unpleasant memories from the forgotten abyss of your psyche, resulting in flashbacks and other horrors you would rather have avoided. Secondly, Feitan, your closest friend and constant night watch partner, had figured out something was off.

In all honesty, you should have expected it. The lack of sleep, the memories that would flood your brain at random times, the emotional overwhelm in your gut that put your whole body on edge, it was all evident in your—still remarkably subtle—body language. Something was off.

The rest of the Troupe hadn’t realized anything was amiss yet, but that wasn’t particularly surprising either. They didn’t know you as well as Feitan did. How that came to be was partially a mystery. When you’d been accepted into the Troupe, natural ability had placed your skills on par with Feitan. Whenever possible, the two of you gravitated toward partnering up. Eventually, when the group parted for individual pursuits, Feitan had contacted you, asking for backup on a mission. You’d been working together off and on ever since.

It was only natural that he’d notice the subtle change in your demeanor and body language. But that didn’t mean you had to like it. Or want it to happen, for that matter.

Your only saving grace was that he hadn’t figured out exactly what was bothering you. However, with the quiet, exhausting nights watching for enemies that would never come, it was only a matter of time before he figured it out. Or asked.

If he asked you directly, you wouldn’t lie. You trusted him, and, although he would never say it, he trusted you to some degree as well. You wouldn’t dare put that trust in jeopardy.

But that didn’t mean the glances he kept giving you weren’t unnerving. It didn’t mean you wanted to tell him the truth, even though you would.

He’d been staying closer than normal. Usually, even when alone on guard duty, he put some space between the two of you, settling for an upper position while you sat in the middle, staring down the hallway. However, lately he’d been right by your side.

“You quiet tonight,” he said, breaking the silence.

Maybe that was part of why he was figuring things out. You were so tired. The exhaustion had been building for days. The lack of sleep made it more difficult to handle the flashbacks during the day, but sleeping was somehow so much worse.

It was like you were falling and burning all at once. But that’s what you were doing now. It was dark, but oh, so light, nearly blinding behind your eyes. It throbbed against your chest in harsh pulses. A fire? A flame? Your heart? The sun? Yet you were still falling, and your body braced for an impact that would never come. It hurt to breathe, but it didn’t. The screaming was loud but the room was silent. Feitan was silent. Everything was silent.

Your eyes blinked back into focus, seeing again a vision of your friend who was now staring back at you. His eyes were wide, face watching with a surprisingly visible amount of concern. You breathed out through your nose, releasing a breath you hadn’t noticed you were holding.

“Where you go?” he asked gently, watching your vision completely focus in on him again.

You cleared your throat, shifting uncomfortably. You hated when it happened in front of other people, especially him. Usually nobody noticed under the cover of darkness, but he was just so damn attentive. “Somewhere I don’t want to be.”

The two of you sat in silence for a few moments. Your hands moved to work the dirt out from under your nails. It was a welcome distraction from your mind.

“I go there too.”

You bit your lip, trying not to look as surprised as you felt. Fei was always one to shy away from emotions rather than bring them up. “How do you make it stop?”

His eyes filled with amusement as he looked at you over his bandana. “If I know, I not go anymore.”

You chuckled. “Fair point.”

Neither of you moved as Uvogin and Nobunaga came down the hall. “Ready to tap out?” Uvo asked with a grin. He was far too excitable for the middle of the night. Nobunaga looked much less jovial.

“Are you sure neither of you want to sleep?” you asked. “I can stay for an extra shift.”

They both shook their heads. “We’ll be fine. Besides, there’s not much else to do around here.”

“Well then,” you hopped up, stretching slightly. “Have fun.”

“Yeah,” Nobu nodded, scratching his chin. “Right.”

You headed down the hallway, the moonlight illuminating your path. Feitan followed alongside you, silent as always. His room came first. Regardless, you wouldn’t be going to your room anyway. The nights were awful when your headspace was unpleasant, so you’d been spending much of the night perched on the windowsill at the end of the hall. There was a pond out that way. In the mornings, you could see ducks. It was peaceful.

When Feitan dropped away from you, you reached above your head, stretching out as you continued down the hallway. Your muscles ached; there was nothing to do but train or play games while waiting for Chrollo’s next set of instructions. Sitting and waiting all day was almost as uncomfortable.

You tucked into the corner of the window, gaze trailing the horizon. The trees rustled in the breeze, water rippling gently. The world was so much more beautiful than you’d ever give it credit for. Despite all the atrocities humans created, nature seemed to make small paradises. If only people like you didn’t exist to tarnish them.

A voice to your right startled you, Feitan staring intently from the shadows. “You not sleep?”

You tried to get by with a shrug. “Don’t feel like it.”

“Why?” He knew the answer, but he wanted you to say it. He had a way of prodding things out of you; he was a master interrogator, after all.

You worked the dirt out from under your nails again, grateful for a way to avoid looking at him. “It’s hard to sleep,” you conceded. “Bad dreams.”

“What you dream about?”

He watched as you hesitated, memories threatening to cascade across your vision again. He didn’t want that to happen; he wanted you to feel better. Although he enjoyed working with Phinks, you were his favorite teammate. He didn’t want you to truly suffer.

“Come with me.” He turned, looking back over his shoulder. “We talk in private.”

You hadn’t intended to follow, but before you completely realized what you were doing, Feitan was ushering you into his makeshift room.

A mat was placed on the floor, blanket folded neatly on top of a pillow. Undoubtedly, all of it was stolen. Like the rest of the Troupe, he only brought what he could carry on his person. Everyone traveled light.

He pointed to the mat expectantly, and you sat on the edge of it. He settled beside you, gaze gentle but expectant. “You not tell me what you dream about?”

You bit your lip. Although you trusted Feitan, your dreams were intense, almost too much to verbalize.

He nodded, your silence the answer he needed. Then he frowned, appearing to be deep in thought before turning back to you. “You no need to. But tell why dreams bother you.”

Why they bothered you? “I… I wake feeling frightened and…” you searched for the right word, tongue swiping across your lip as you avoided his gaze. “Alone.”

“You sleep here tonight?” he offered. To anyone else, he would’ve sounded nonchalant and uncaring, but the fact that he offered was jarringly compassionate in and of itself. He stood, walking away from the mat towards the other side of the room. It wasn’t large, but there was enough to create a sizable distance between the two of you.

But it was too much, too nice of him. You were a Hunter. You were a Spider. You should have been able to handle something as trivial—and common to both of those professions—as nightmares. “I couldn’t impose,” you said, already moving to stand up. Your room was just down the hall. “It would be a hindrance to you.” If you ran, you could probably beat him down the hall, though not into your room. “It wouldn’t be right—”

His expression stopped you in your tracks. “We are team. You need sleep. I think you feel better not so alone.” The look in his eyes was one of challenge, no, determination. He wanted you to stay. Then his lips upturned, eyes lighting with mischief. “Better for Spiders, too. You no work well when tired. Too cranky.”

You scoffed in indignation, eyes only slightly teasing. “Fine, then. Maybe I will stay, let your sleep suffer on purpose.”

He nodded, satisfied, and you inwardly grumbled. He’d only pushed your buttons to get you to stay. It seemed fitting his Nen didn’t lend well to manipulation; his personality could handle that all on its own.

“You change?” he asked, hiding how much your glowering amused him behind his bandana.

Oh. You hadn’t thought about that. You didn’t have a blanket, so you’d been sleeping in all your clothes. But Feitan had stolen something thick and fluffy to use as a blanket. You’d probably be too warm as you were. Your jacket would be too much. Even your overshirt might be too warm with your long pants on.

“Yes, if that’s okay with you.”

He turned without a word, back toward you. He trusted you completely. The realization was almost enough to make you dizzy. Quickly, you removed your overshirt and jacket, leaving you in an undershirt. It was modest, but still the most unkempt he’d seen you yet.

“I’m done.”

He turned as you snuggled under the blanket on one half of the mat, resting on your side. Slowly, he slid down the wall, sitting on a stone. His head leaned back against the cement, eyes closed, breathing already evening out. But you wouldn’t allow that.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleep. What you need to do, too.”

“Then why aren’t you getting into bed?”

He peeked an eye open at that. When your gaze remained unwavering, he shook his head. No.

“If you don’t want to, I’m going,” you said, already shifting to stand up. “I’m not stealing your bed from you, Feitan.”

Sighing, he stood, undressing. You froze, watching as he moved methodically. When his chest and shoulders were bare, clad in nothing but a pair of pants, he settled in beside you. “You too stubborn.”

You grinned. “Yet somehow you still like me anyway.”

“Miracle can happen.”

His hands rested across his stomach, lying on his back. On your side, you admired him for a moment. Feitan was easily the most skilled person you’d ever met. But it was more than that. Whatever tentative friendship the pair of you had formed made your heart light. With him, you felt seen and understood in a way you seldom were. Even when he didn’t know exactly what to do, he still managed to do it. Closing your eyes, you gave him a reprieve, succumbing to the cumulative fatigue a few minutes later.

You woke warm, the sun just beginning to filter through the grime-coated windows. It took a moment for you to realize it wasn’t your room, and you could have laughed. Of course Feitan would find the only room in a deteriorating building that had fully intact windows. He was acutely aware of personal safety.

Feitan.

Eyes widening, you realized whose chest you were lying across. His arms were above his head, not touching you. Sneaking a glance, you saw his eyes were closed against the morning light, resting but not asleep.

He must have been acutely aware of your position on his body.

Someone as skilled as he was in combat wouldn’t have completely slept, especially not with a body squirming on his torso.

You shifted away, a bolt of nervousness echoing through your chest when his eyes peeked open.

“Sorry,” you whispered, feeling the tone adequate so early in the morning. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

He smirked, and the expression in such close proximity made your heart leap. “I not mind. You no move too much.”

But it was enough. Anything within a few meters would have been enough.

“I didn’t want your sleep to suffer for mine.”

He dropped the arm farthest from you, brows furrowing into that trademark frown and fingers smoothing over the edge of the blanket. “You sleep better than alone?”

He always found a way to the core of the issue, deflecting your thoughts back on yourself. But it was true, he had helped like he predicted. “Yes. It was much better than before. Thank you for that. I was so tired.”

He nodded, hair pointing wildly across the pillow. The soft smile on his face, barely there, was enough to tell you he wasn’t upset about the lost sleep.

But still… “I’m sorry I made your sleeping worse, though. I can leave, if you want. Take an extra shift. That’ll give you some time to rest properly.”

His hand caught you, pulling you back into his chest before firmly wrapping around your side. “Stay longer. We get more rest.”

You froze for a moment before nodding against his shoulder, knowing better than to argue against his sharp tongue. After a few moments, you snuggled closer, nerves and adrenaline falling away to peaceful fatigue yet again. You barely heard him ask his next question, but you heard it nonetheless. “Come again tomorrow?”

Your arm slipped around his chest, fingers gently wrapping around his side. “I’d like that.”

So that’s exactly what you did.

But things didn’t go exactly to plan, whatever the plan was. Because it was hot. Too hot. Though it wasn’t your body. Oh, no. It was the fire. The sun. The world was plummeting, and you could hear the screaming. It was too much. You would have ran, but your legs couldn’t find the will to move. Maybe it was the burning. The searing pain in your chest was back. Was it your heart, or something else? It was hard to tell, impossibly hard to know. And yet the screaming continued. That was even worse than the burning, the darkness. It was all too much, but you had to fight back. You just had to. Something had to be done. But your body was falling, and all you could do was brace for impact—

The air was cool against your skin. That was the first thing you noticed when you opened your eyes. It was cool, and goosebumps prickled across your arms. That’s because it was dark; there was no sun.

The second thing you realized was that you were crying. You could only tell because Feitan—who you guiltily realized was already awake and watching you—was blurry.

You sat up, trembling from the adrenaline and the cold. He must have taken the blanket off you when you’d begun to panic. The world was eerily quiet except for your sniffles, ones you attempted to muffle as your eyes watered. It was all too much.

“I’m sorry,” you began, disappointed you’d ruined his sleep two nights in a row. You’d never wanted to burden him more when complying with his wishes. But he interrupted you with a swift raise of his hand.

No. He was telling you no. You shouldn’t apologize.

That only made you cry harder, water dripping from your chin as you muffled your cries with your palm. Tentatively, Feitan’s hand came to rest on your shoulder. When you didn’t brush it away, he kept it there.

It took you several minutes to regain your composure. During that time, his hand stayed firm—but not unkind—on your arm. The pressure was comforting, and when your cries reduced to mere sniffles, he pulled the blanket back over you, moving his hand from your arm in a silent gesture that you could hug him.

You hesitated, damp cheeks glistening in the faint moonlight slipping through the windows. He’d already done so much for you…

He sighed at the contemplation on your face. “It no bother. Me want to.” His hold was sturdy and sure, chest grounding under your cheek as he laid down with you. “You need to talk?”

Your eyelashes fluttered against his skin as you shook your head. “Not really.” After a beat of silence that threatened to allow your mind to wander, you bit your lip, snuggling a little closer. “But… could you?”

The silence you received in return almost made you tremble, embarrassment coursing through your body nearly as strongly as the adrenaline had.

But then he spoke. Melodious words flowed from his tongue, words foreign to your ear, but beautiful nonetheless. While chasing away your demons, he pacified his own, telling you the things he couldn’t find the words to say in English. In those whispered words, he poured more of his heart to you than he had to anyone ever before. As your breath fanned across his chest and his arms rested securely against your body, he told you everything he could think of, sounding much more eloquent to your ear than his own.

When it finally felt like his voice might go hoarse, he stopped, pulling you a little closer against him. He knew you weren’t asleep yet, but you were close enough that he hoped the silence wouldn’t bother you.

However, before you could succumb completely to your fatigue, you found the hand on his stomach, squeezing it gently in thanks. “Fei?” you mumbled. “What does that word mean?” You repeated if for him, feeling him tense slightly under your body. He’d used it so many times before, muttering it under his breath on missions with you. In his whispered ramblings, he’d repeated it over and over.

He could lie to you, but he wouldn’t. There was no way he’d jeopardize your trust like that.

Closing his eyes, he squeezed you a little tighter, willing you to understand all the words he had and hadn't said.

“Love. It translate to love.”

Masterlist

#feitan #feitan portor #feitan x reader #feitan portor x reader #hxh feitan #feitan hxh #hxh #silent writes

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ssa-sugar-tits · 4 years ago

Text

No One Special

Request: this one

Spencer x female reader where she’s a celebrity and they’re dating (secretly ofc) you can make it fluffy, angsty, whatever! ❤️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Celebrity!Reader

Summary: You say in an interview that you aren't seeing anyone and inadvertently hurt your boyfriend, Spencer.

Content warnings: angst, swearing, insecurity, self-depreciation, crying, arguing/yelling, knife mention

Pattering, fitting rain adds to your gut turning mood as you try to figure out what you could possibly to say to Spencer. Deep seated guilt begs incessantly to make everything better but you just can't find the words good enough to fix what you caused a fragile crack in. You feel like there's a locked door in front of you and not a single key works.

"Here we are with Y/N Y/L/N!" Applause filled the room like a real life movie. You beamed and waved, showcasing your wide smile before you sat down.

"We are so happy to have you here with us." The interviewer, Missy Lakewood, grinned and turned to the eager audience. "Aren't we?"

More thrilling excitement showered the room, much to your appreciation.

"I'm happy to be here!" you chuckled at the sweet enthusiasm.

"Your last project was a big success and I'm certain your next one will be too." Smiling and allowing a lovely heat rise to the apples of your cheeks, she continued. "There is however one thing we don't really know about you. Is there a lucky someone charming our starlight sweetheart?"

Your bare feet pace around the floor of his empty apartment, sending chills to your core despite how warm it always is. You used the spare key to get in, planning to wait for him to come home. Spencer hasn't returned any of your calls or texts since the interview and it's leaving an intolerable burden on your back. But more importantly, you can't stand the thought of him being alone with his thoughts. He's never been good with his emotions-- he takes knives and stabs at his own gushing wounds. It had been his decision to keep your relationship private and you respect that but you took it too far this time. He must know how sorry you are, right?

"I see we're getting personal right off the bat," you joked. "If you must know... No, there isn't anyone special in my life at the moment.

"Well that is just everyone's loss, ain't it?" The belle joked. It didn't hit you until much later that you said what you said.

The door lock finally jingles and you jump with a horrible mix of anticipation paired with profound relief.

"Spence, I've been..." you trail off, your jaw dropping slightly when you see him. His usually dancing, filled with life but now red rimmed eyes look down to the floor.

"You're just letting yourself into my apartment now?" He exhales coldly. Taken aback, your lip quivers and you swallow the growing urge to cry.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry." You whisper.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"When you said I was no one special. Did you mean it Y/N?"

The inescapable, sour taste of fear engulfs you. Opening your mouth to speak, you take in a sharp breath of air. And that's all it took, a split second of hesitation.

"Spence, how could you possibly think that?"

You're not even sure if you're audible, your avoiding words hovering in the air like a child afraid to step on glass.

"That's not an answer, Y/N."

Spencer was finishing up some paperwork when JJ strided into the bullpen, her new set of bright blue earrings swinging in the air, joyfully.

"Guess. What." She was smirking with eagerness and Emily gave in to her antics instantly.

"What is it JJ?"

"You owe me $40 and I'm getting a new pair of shoes!" She cracked a smile and awaited the brow-furrowed woman's response.

"Do I get to know why you're taking my money?" She retorted playfully, knowing it had to be one of the many bets they've placed.

"Y/N Y/L/N isn't dating anyone!"

Spencer stopped mid-breath and perked up to the women conversing, a lock of wild hair framing his face.

"What did you two bet on?" He asked, knowing the answer but wanting more explanation. He knew it was his decision to keep you a secret, there were too many threatening risks that came with his job and too many spotlight distractions that came with yours.

"Whether Y/N Y/L/N was dating anyone or not. Looks like JJ put me out $40," Emily explained, rummaging through her wallet. She turned to the still silently celebrating blonde. "So how exactly do you know this?"

"She was on that morning show, Good Morning with Missy, and Missy asked her if she was seeing anyone." She takes two twenty-dollar bills from Emily, going on with the story. "Y/N said, and I quote, 'No, there isn't anyone special in my life at the moment.'"

With eleven words, you managed to rip his fast beating heart out of his chest and crush it between your fingers. Of course he was no one special.

Your eyes widen and you spit out a ridiculously useless retort instead of reassuring your hurt boyfriend.

"Don't profile me, I am not a fucking suspect." Watery drops try to well up in your eyes but you strain to hold them back.

"Oh, I'm sorry Y/N." Thick, angry sarcasm coats his escalating words. "I wonder what it's like to be labeled something you aren't. I wonder what it could possibly be like to be hurt by something that someone you love said!"

He's the one fighting hot tears now. A dam breaks loose in you and yell back at him, feeling a rush you know you'll live to regret.

"What the hell did you want me to do?! I thought we agreed on protecting each other! No one can come after me if they don't know about me and no one can stop you from doing your job with shallow fame related bullshit, so tell me Spencer, how else am I supposed to answer a question like that?"

Reasoning jumps out the window onto a trampoline of bitterness.

"This isn't going to work out. Get out of my apartment." He screams internally at you, don't go. I don't mean it. You hear it in the back of your mind, rising from your heart.

Don't go Y/N.

You can work this out.

What you have is special.

"If that's how you feel, then okay. Goodbye Spencer."

It shocks you both to your core when you slam the apartment door behind you, not looking back as you leave. Each footstep on the stairs mirrors the deafening beating of your aching, remorseful heart. You arrive to your car and gasp loudly, hoping to halt the storming tears leaking from your scrunched eyes. How could you leave?

"So stupid!" you mutter, sinking your head into your shaking hands. "Fucking... hell...!"

Your sobs grow louder and uncontrollable without his kind soul to hold you. He'll come for you. He has to. Just another minute, it can't end like this.

The minute turns to ten.

Ten to thirty.

An hour.

"Oh my god," you finally whisper. "It's over."

You take a hand to the door handle, almost going back and telling him you love him. Telling him that he's worth staying for. He is someone special.

But you take back your hand, take a long deep breath, and drive away.

Who were you kidding? Two vastly different people like you-- two broken people like you.

Some things aren't meant to be.

masterlist

#criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x you #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction

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slightlymore · 4 years ago

Note

Haechan + Coming home + angst with a fluffy ending 👉🏻👈🏻 - 🍓

haechan; angst + fluff

2.6K

[w: swearing, brief mention of alcohol, kisses]

[jeno, jaemin: side characters]

A stupid drinking game.

Haechan has asked himself before if things could have went differently if he didn't do everything he has done.

Not that it mattered.

Haechan had no chance with you whatsoever, he knew it. Because everytime he would look at you, your eyes would be on someone else.

He hated it.

He despised it with his whole being. His guts would twists on each other and he would feel sick to the core.

Yet, a weird sensation of pride or insanity, made him want to act like nothing was happening, like it was okay.

"Okay, my turn," Haechan sat up from the ground putting his weight on his knees instead, his mischievous smile painting his expression and raising the others expectations. "Take a shot if you have a crush on someone in this room."

Haechan had no idea what he was doing. He definitely didn't want to take a shot and he didn't. Nor did anyone else.

"Fuck, okay, here." You spoke up after a moment of uncertainty and threw your head back with the glass on your lips. A choir of screams engulfed the whole room and you felt your cheeks heat up from the adrenaline and alcohol.

You've had a crush on someone in the room and perhaps you were just good at pretending or he was clueless.

Perhaps he was actually clueless because he looked around just like everyone else, excited to see who the crush might be. Then everyone's eyes landed on Jeno and Jeno looked at you shocked.

Haechan couldn't look anymore.

"Jeno. You didn't drink, did you?" Haechan asked.

Jeno opened his lips embarrassed and you shot Haechan an assassin glare.

"Uhm, no, I'm sorry, Y/N, but I-" Jeno started to mumble and you couldn't bear to hear the rest. You got up and exited the room.

---

"I don't want to talk to you anymore. Get out."

Haechan's forehead was resting on your closed bedroom door after everyone left, pupils moving under his lids, jaw muscle clenched imitating his fists.

"Please," he whispered for the nth time that night.

And when you opened the door suddenly he almost fell to the ground.

"Why?" you asked, arms crossed on your chest and angry eyes.

Haechan raised his face to meet your tears-streaked one.

He hated it. He hated to see you like that. And it was his fault.

"Why did you do that, Haechan?"

"Y/N," he tried to hold your hand but you winced.

"Don't touch me. You wanted to see me rejected in front of everyone? Is this what you wanted?"

"I didn't think it through. I was just tired to see you crushing on him when he doesn't even think about you."

You lower lip trembled at his words as a new wave of tears filled your eyes.

"That's my business," you wanted to sound aggressive but the words came out so tiny that you wondered if Haechan actually heard them.

It wasn't anger. Haechan could deal with that. It was a deep disappointment. He could see it in your eyes. A defeat he didn't expect.

He fucked up and there was no going back.

---

In the mornings when the winter sun was not out yet, you could see his face on your closed lids. With a huff you would open them up and kick your blanket.

You shouldn't allow yourself to think about him.

Yet, when the phone screen would lit up, your hand would reach for it almost instantly.

From Jeno: I'm going home now

From You: this late? are you drunk?

From Jeno: haha you mean this early? I'm not drunk, I'm the one driving

From You: be careful

From Jeno: yes ma'am :)

You rolled your eyes, a little smile curving your lips before it could fade away. A sigh and the dark ceiling to keep you company.

You missed him.

You missed Haechan so much it hurt.

---

"So?" a pair of wiggling eyebrows and an elbow in your ribs claimed your attention as you were decorating the table for the Christmas dinner.

"What?" you asked Jaemin.

"You and Jeno?" he indicated said boy with his head trying to not be noticed.

Your hands stopped from folding the napkins and you stared at Jeno's profile, laughing with your friends on the couches.

Jaemin continued to place the cutlery in silence.

"There's nothing going on between Jeno and I," you finally spoke resuming your work.

"He likes you. And you like him."

You didn't add anything.

Jaemin looked at you and hummed at your expression.

"You don't like him anymore?"

You sighed.

"Sorry, don't answer. I'm being invasive. I just don't understand. You would look so good together..." Jaemin mumbled to himself.

"Yeah. I don't know what's going on with me."

But you did know what was going on. It's just that you had no idea what to do with all of that.

"How's Haechan?"

The others kept in touch with him after you drifted apart and you had to stop yourself from asking every second of his whereabouts.

"He's alright. A little weird," Jaemin shrugged.

"How's that?"

The boy looked up pensive. "Hm. I can't put my finger on it but he's a little off. I think he misses hanging out with you."

You gulped.

"I mean, like, all of us together, you know? Like the old times."

"Yeah."

"Maybe," Jaemin talked slowly as if choosing his words carefully. "Maybe we can start doing that again? I mean, Jeno likes you now so... you know, not that what Haechan did is gone etcetera but... what he did is the reason Jeno realized he likes you so..." you listened to Jaemin stutter quickly until you couldn't hear him anymore. The sound drifted away as you imagined seeing Haechan again and it became difficult for you to breathe.

---

From You: Merry Christmas

Your fingers were trembling as you typed and they continued to tremble as they hovered over the phone screen, its light the only source illuminating your face in the dark room. Then it became pitch black as you turned it off and let the phone fall on the bed. After a few steps you were already in front of the door, your feet taking you to the noise coming from the living room.

But then you heard it buzz and you froze in place. Your heart was beating like crazy when you came back and picked up the phone, a text message illuminating the screen again.

From Haechan: Merry Christmas

From Haechan: I hope you're well

You had to sit down.

From You: I am, thank you

From You: I hope you're well too

From Haechan: I am

From Haechan: I just...

From Haechan: I miss you

You stared at your phone until it became all blurry. Blinking fast you saw the drops fall on the chat as you stared at the empty typing bar.

Why were you doing that? What was stopping you from talking to him again? Anger? You weren't mad. Disappointment? You were over it. Resentfulness? You couldn't feel any of that inside of your heart.

It was fear.

You were afraid. So so afraid.

You had a little hope. That you would see Haechan again and become friends just like before. But you needed time. Not to get over what he did.

To get over your feelings for him.

Wouldn't he drift away even further if he discovered how you felt? Wouldn't he say how sorry he is?

You thought that Jeno's rejection was a lot to handle but it wasn't anything compared to the pain in your chest at the mere thought of Haechan doing the same.

You breathed in and out slowly. Haechan was typing and deleting.

From You: I'm coming

From Haechan: where?

From You: are you home?

From Haechan: yes but don't come out, it's snowing a lot

From You: see you in 15

From Haechan: y/n

From Haechan: don't go out

From Haechan: y/n

From Haechan: read my texts!

But you were already in the living room, walking quickly towards the entrance door, ignoring Jaemin standing with his casserole in his hands, and ignoring the voices of people asking you what were you doing and where were you going.

In a heartbeat your coat was on and your shoes were on your feet. You didn't mean to slam the door but in the hurry you didn't care about it at all.

With no transport and empty roads you ran. You ran on the fresh snow, the only sounds being its crunch under your soles, your quick breath and the ringing of your phone.

You heard his voice before you could see his face in the heavy snow. You blinked trying to see better and there he was, a tall figure walking towards you, his coat almost white, just like his fluffy hair and eyelashes, one arm up trying to call you and the most worried expression you've ever seen him wear.

"You're crazy! A crazy person!" he scolded you, getting each step closer and you choked on tears upon seeing his face in so long. So you ran again, opening your arms and wrapping his body between them with such force that he almost slipped backwards.

"You don't even have a scarf on. Look at you with your whole neck out. What were you thinking?"

He continued his rant as his arms wrapped your shoulders but you could hear his relieved sigh as he briefly pressed his face on them.

Then he pulled you away from his chest and finally looked at you in the face. His eyes scrutinized your features and his expression softened.

"Why are you crying?"

He cupped both of your cheeks, rubbing them delicately with his thumbs. His hands were warm and you closed your eyes.

"I missed you too," you whispered and when you opened them again Haechan’s eyes were getting watery too. He looked at the sky briefly as if trying to conceal that but you cupped his face and pulled it down to make him look at you again.

His lips were red and open, letting a warm breath caress your nose.

"I have something to tell you."

Haechan furrowed his eyebrows and blinked at you, a few snowflakes falling from his lashes and melting on his rosy cheeks.

You let your hands descend to his shoulders, brushing away the snow piling up, then his chest and your fingers played with his coat buttons for a moment before being able to speak.

I'm dating Jeno, Haechan thought. That was what you were going to say, right? He likes me now and I know I was mad at you before but now I'm actually grateful that you were a dick that night and made it possible for him to realize that he likes me and now I'm not mad anymore and we can be friends like-

"I love you."

Suddenly the sky fell and Haechan couldn't breathe anymore.

"It was for you," you added.

"What?" Haechan's voice sounded far away to his own ears.

"The shot. It was for you."

"Wait."

The boy steadied himself on you as if the ground was slipping from underneath his feet.

"How is that possible? You like Jeno," he whispered but his mind was working faster than his mouth.

"Is this revenge? You want to make me believe that you love me so that I can confess that I love you too and so you can reject me?" he asked.

Your eyes widened at the theory and you chuckled lightly, expecting Haechan to laugh as well at the joke. But he was serious and the smile flattered on your lips.

"Are you serious?"

Haechan stared back.

"You love me?" you asked again.

"Answer me first. Is this a trick?"

You pressed your palms on his cheeks again, squeezing them until making Haechan pout and you leaned in, kissing his still warm lips. It was a quick and short peck, your heart too overwhelmed to do more, but for Haechan it was enough. His round eyes were shocked and his reddening cheeks told you the rest.

"Why would I trick you into doing that? That's messed up."

"I would do something like that," Haechan whispered, still processing the fact that you've just kissed him.

"Yeah, I know, because you're evil."

"I still can't comprehend how the shot was for me. Why didn't you tell me?"

You stepped back. "Oh yeah? Telling you after everyone thought it was for Jeno, Jeno included? After you did all of that? Me saying 'oh no Haechan, I have a crush on you' and see you reject me too? As everyone was watching?"

Haechan closed his eyes for a second as if pained and you eyed his adam apple going up and down.

"Why didn't you tell me afterwards?"

You sighed. "After you treated me like that? And for what? You didn't take a shot either."

Haechan's face scrunched up. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, please, forgive me," he wrapped your body again and pulled you towards him. "I was so stupid. I was so fucking stupid."

"You're still stupid," you mumbled, voice muffled by his scarf. You inhaled his scent and slid your arms under his coat, all around his warm torso.

"Yeah. I'm here like an idiot, having you run in the snow and keeping you in the blizzard instead of taking you home-".

"I am home."

You raised your face and the look Haechan gave you warmed you all up as if spring suddenly arrived.

"I love you," he suddenly whispered. "I love you," he repeated. "I love you. I love you." He hugged you tighter and brushed his cold nose with yours. "I love you," he said it again until he couldn't physically say it anymore as his lips kissed yours. It was a slow and soft kiss, as if he was afraid, as if he felt too sorry to do more.

"Kiss me like you mean it."

Haechan finally smiled a little on your lips and he did just that until you started to feel dizzy.

When he pulled away, he cupped your face again then your head, pressing his palms on your cold ears.

"You'll get sick if we don't leave. More kisses later."

In a second his scarf was all around your neck and face, leaving out only your eyes. Haechan smiled at the view and whispered something similar to 'penguin' under his breath.

"Hand," he requested and you gave it to him, letting his fingers intertwine with yours and sighing at the feeling of his warm coat pocket.

"So you were jealous of Jeno, huh?"

Haechan put his tongue in his cheek as you walked down the snowy road and you chuckled at his dry nod.

"What you did was kind of lame, not gonna lie," you teased him.

Haechan sighed and playfully tugged you towards him.

"I'm not mad but you still need to do a few things for me to fully forgive you."

"Okay," he said.

"Kisses. Many kisses."

Haechan nodded once. "Can do."

"Food."

Haechan nodded again. "Also can do."

"Call me princess."

"What!?"

The sound of your footsteps and laughter decreased gradually as you walked away, the white snow engulfing you both until your figures couldn't be seen anymore.

"You have to reject Jeno now."

"Oh my God! That's... so sad, I feel so sorry."

"I would feel sorry too but I'm actually glad. At least it's not me."

"So you're actually evil. Jeno never confessed anyway. There's no need to do that."

"Good. He'll step back when he'll see us making out on the couch."

"We're not making out on the couch!"

"Okay, princess."

The snow covered all of your footsteps, the empty road looking like a white field.

"I love you, princess."

"I love you too."

"Kiss, now?"

"Later."

"Okay, princess."

"Kiss now."

The echo of your laugh as Haechan lifted you up and twirled you around before kissing you was the last thing the snowy road witnessed.

#haechan #haechan fluff #haechan angst #haechan scenarios #haechan imagines #nct #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct imagines #jeno #jaemin

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jay-and-dean · 4 years ago

Text

More like him

Dean x reader

So I had this request :

I loved it, but it was a real challenge because I thing it wouldn’t be really “Dean like” to go on a diet. It took me months to manage to be satisfied by it. I really hope you like it. Oh, and I added a little Smut, couldn’t help it.

For me this fic is kinda part of the Become that Girl “saga”.

Warning : Swearing. Sassy Sam. Suffering and mentions of unhealthy behaviors and drinking. Jealous Dean. Insecurities. Smut. Unprotected sex (you’re smarter than this). Angst. Fluffy Fluff.

This is both in Reader’s Pov and Dean’s Pov

Words : 10.3 k (yes. You asked for it.)

Jay’s MASTERLIST

Dean’s Pov

A grunt and a yawn. I turn around, a little pain in my neck from sleeping on the same position for hours.

I drank too much last night, again. My arm blindly searches for a bottle of water in the deep dark of my windowless room to fight the intense dry feeling in my mouth, but I find nothing.

“Shit.”

One more night in a shady bar, one more hangover, and one more woman I won’t remember.

Woman…

I frown with my eyes still closed and think of her, my stomach gets sick. She was among the prettiest girl I have been with, and she was a little too young for me, I’m sure she wasn’t twenty-five yet. I remember her friends, young and fit boys and girls, celebrating a birthday.

It’s really something how you see things differently when you’re drunk and when you are not. Maybe that’s why I drink so much : the sober truth gives me the creeps. Yesterday, I was feeling lucky, honored that a beautiful woman had laid her eyes on me, amazed by how confident she was. It felt like I had won the lottery of life, sex life at least. I was on top of the world, I could barely walk straight, but I didn’t care.

This morning is different. I lay here, nausea making me sweat, disgusted by my own smell and the taste in my mouth, wondering how I came home. I drove Baby drunk like Hell, I could have hurt someone, or damaged her.

“Shit” I grunt again.

How pathetic it is to go look for a college girl to feel alive ? How pathetic it is to spend the whole time we spent together too focused on trying not to be too old or too drunk to actually enjoy any of it ? How pathetic it is to think of another woman, the very second my eyes open ?

I need coffee.

I get up and make my way to the bathroom to pee and take a shower, I can’t stand the smell on me : alcohol sweat, the detergent of the cheap motel room I took not to bring her to our secret home, and, well, shame.

After brushing my teeth, I drink all I can from the sink and wonder if she is here. I really hope she is.

Y/n.

The woman I call my friend. The person that have actually been my closest friend with Benny and Cas, maybe even closer. If she’s in the kitchen, she will make fun of me, she will make loud pan noises just to make my headache worse because she says hangover is not enough punishment for hurting my body like that. But in the end, she will probably order pizzas and spend the day with me in the Dean cave not really watching movies while talking about any kind of stuff from hunts to music, from social matters to memories, food -she talks about food a lot, with sparkles in her eyes-, movies, sharks during shark week, horror movie clichés, her childhood, mine, and really intimate things like Hell, Purgatory, like my mom, her dad, our dreams...

I didn’t know I had so much dreams.

I put on underwear and the grey robe, then shuffle my way to the kitchen in the slippers that makes her call me grandpa.

Sam is there. All energetic, dressed with those black sweatpants and this ridiculously tight shirt, he's pressing oranges or whatever, and it's noisy as hell.

"Can't you be quite in the morning ?" I groan with a pained frown, sitting with my coffee in front of me.

"Morning ? It's noon, Dean. So, how was last night ? I guess it must have been great considering how late you came back."

"You heard me come back ?" I ask, wondering how late it actually was.

"No, but Y/n waited for you, and around five a.m. she thought you weren't coming home at all, so she went to bed. That's why we haven't been running yet, she barely slept."

I look at him but he's now turning his back on me to fill a bottle with water.

She has to stop doing that, waiting for me. I told her a few times already but it's like she was a worried mom or something. Y/n is always like that, she worries too much, every cut on Sam or me is a mortal wound, every yawn is a sign of exhaustion. And even if I secretly love this way more than I'll ever admit, I can't let her wait for me all night.

"Hey Dean" her voice catches my attention and I turn to meet her tired eyes.

How can she smile like that after the night she had ? How can she give me that kind smile? I really don't deserve it. I'm disgusting, damaged, violent even... Look at her.

She walks in and I can't help but drift along her naked legs, strong and soft. She's wearing her working out shorts, the ones torturing me some days, those tiny grey shorts holding her waist, that makes it impossible to not linger on her thighs. The t-shirt she wears is one of mine, or was, since she never gave it back. It's a plain back worn out t-shirt that has really nothing special. She says it's the comfiest.

"Hangover ?" she asks, handing me a slice of her apple.

"Yeah" I grunt, taking it.

I don't like rabbit food and she knows it. So instead of telling me to eat some, like Sam constantly tried for a while, she just gives me little bites of hers. A piece of apple there, a bite of banana, a little of spinach on her fork... and I always let her feed me, maybe just because she does with that adorable kind of smile each time.

"You came back late" she states, turning her back on me.

There is not an ounce of reproach in her voice, but something slightly sad. Maybe she pities me. If she had seen my evening, she would for sure.

A flash of that girl from yesterday saying my tattoo is weird and old fashion comes to my mind and I rub my face.

"Is there a hunt ?" I ask.

I really need a hunt, I really need some action and to get out of here.

"No" my brother lightly shakes his head.

"I thought I had found one" Y/n adds. "But it turns out it really was a bear this time !"

Her chuckle warms my heart.

"Movies in my room ?" I offer, trying to sound like it doesn't really matter, but the truth is, this perspective is what got me out of bed...

Reader's Pov

I cut another slice of apple with my hunter knife and give it to him.

"Hum, maybe later" I answer, looking away. "Sam and I planned on running to the lake..."

"The lake !" he almost chokes. "It's like twelve miles away !"

Sam chuckles and puts a hand on my shoulder, to inform me he's ready to go. He has been waiting for me a long time already, but I needed to check on Dean before I left for the day.

"Yeah..." I mumble. "And I want to practice my gun skills after, of fight skills if Sammy is not too tired from the running."

"I could help you practice too" he states and I give him a knowing smile.

Dean is not interested in training me, he never was. And, unlike me, he barely needs practice himself anyway, so why should he care ? He's just the best, that's natural. He's Dean Winchester, the best hunter in the world, the best man, the best everything actually. Between the ladies waiting in line to get a piece of him and his friends, the parties, but above all, constantly saving the world... He doesn't have time for me. We're not made of the same wood, I'm from those who have to work hard to keep up. And I never want to be a burden for any of them.

"What ? I could !" he grunts and his brother laughs.

"Yeah right, Dean" Sam mocks him, giving me my bag. "You would probably get a stitch from just stretching with Y/n ! She's getting good !"

"Don't listen to you brother" I assure Dean with a little smile on the corner of my lips.

I walk out of the bunker with Sam's back in front of me and bite my cheek, trying to ignore that sharp pain in my chest.

That pain that fell on me again while I was waiting for him, trying to not imagine what he was doing, that dread burning my guts ; and the other, even worse, pain that kept me awake once I was finally sure of what he was doing.

Once outside, the tall hunter stretches a little, humming at the soft spring breeze.

"Why did you wait again" he finally speaks, earning only a sigh from me. "Y/n... I know you need to make sure he's safe but you're hurting yourself. Talk to him..."

"We already talked about this" I just shrug before I start running.

Dean's Pov

I stay in the kitchen, my heart pounding in my head, my liver struggling.

Of course she won't spend the day with me. Why would she ? She waited all night and I was busy partying like those pathetic guys who didn't understand college is over.

You didn't even went to college...

Sipping at my coffee, I think of my brother’s hand on her shoulder and shiver, not really understanding why. I mean, he’s her friend too, a good friend actually, but something changed lately. They are close, more and more every day.

She used to spend all her time with me and now that I think of it… She does with him now. It started with morning runs, then there were going to the grocery store together. They cooked, Sam never cooked in his life, she taught him a few “healthy” recipes while I was making fun of them. Several times I found them talking until late in the library, or sending each other texts during hunts, when they were apart the whole day.

Maybe I’m missing something coming slow… Maybe the woman I think of the second I open my eyes in the morning thinks of Sam.

Why wouldn’t she ? My brother is better than me in every ways.

Sam is smart and educated, went to college and all. They can probably talk about things I have no idea of…

Sam is brave and fair. He’s the best man I know, and if I think of one man that would deserve a girl like her...

What are you saying ? There is no other girl like her.

But above all… Look at him. He just grew old way better than I did. All those healthy craps I always made fun of, in the end he’s right. While I was drinking beer for breakfast and eating fat crap, he was running, practicing. And yes, during hunts we're equals, because I was raised in this life, but if I had to catch him running, I would have a heart attack before he breaks a sweat.

I never cared about all of this. About having abs, comparing my body to my brother's, or about being healthy for that matters. Because let's be honest, I never really cared about myself. And girls like me…Right ?

Stupid.

What girls though. It was a long time since Cassie, since Lisa... And lately the one-night stands have had a bitter taste.

Sex with stranger was fun at first, for years it was. New body, new voice, new taste, and skin and preferences... I guess a guy feels pride by having sex with a lot of different women. But most of the time it's far from great and I’m tired of starting over every time.

I just wonder how it feels to actually get to know someone intimately, to learn what makes them squirm, their secrets, to wake up next to a friend... Love must be so nice.

The only person I can think of is her, Y/n. The woman that is my friend and the only one I want tell my secrets, the things that make me squirm...

My Y/n.

I grunt, my heart beating too fast because of hangover, my skin still smells alcohol despite the shower.

I'm such a wreck and she's so pure. That woman overcame bad things, and I have seen her so depressed that she barely could move at all for days in the beginning of our friendship. And yet, here she is, smiling, running and dancing in the library at night, making me want to be better every day, to think more, be less self-destructive, to feel pride more than shame. Pride for helping people, pride for my little brother that I helped grow up, and pride for being her friend.

She’s always there, smiling when I need a smile, listening even when I can’t talk, rolled up asleep on a little corner of my bed when I had a night of nightmares. Her hand was in my back when mom betrayed us and chose to leave, like it was the only thing keeping me up…

I can’t imagine her gone, impossible. And I’m realizing, I can’t imagine her in the arms of another man. That’s selfish, but I have to admit it now. I love her. And I want her, I need her.

Yet all I do is pushing her in my brother’s arms. In my brother’s strong and fit arms…

Reader’s Pov

I’m running, my feet hurt and I have a stitch on my left side, my thighs are already sore and my skin and lungs are burning. But I ignore them. I run.

I run to ignore my imagination and the images it brings. Dean laying on his back, giving his precious body to a blond girl that doesn’t even know who he is, how lucky she is. Dean grunting when she swallows around him. Dean grabbing her hair, biting her neck, coming inside her. Dean with two girls, why not…

I run.

“Y/n !” Sam’s voice interrupts me. “Wow, easy tiger.”

Out of breath, he puts his hands on his knees and frowns at me.

“You know the point of all of this is not to faint ? It’s about endurance, not a sprint or a race.”

“I’m sorry, Sam” I sigh, my body screaming at me even more now that I stopped.

“Is this about Dean ?” he asks, making me roll my eyes.

“How running too fast could be about your brother ?” I grunt.

“You know perfectly why I say that” he shrugs, drinking from his water bottle. “Avoiding him won’t prevent the hurt.”

“It avoids the nausea from smelling cheap perfume on him at least…” saying that, I sit on a bench that is close in a huff. “I just…” I sigh, burying my face in my hands. “How do I avoid the hurt then ?”

“Talk to him” my friend says, joining me on the bench to sit next to me, his tall shadow wrapping me like angel wings, hiding me from this world I hate right now.

“Don’t be ridiculous” I scoff. “Hey Dean, could you not have sex with anyone ? It hurts me. Thank you.”

Sam lets out a chuckle and bumps my shoulder with his giant arm.

A woman in an elegant sports outfit runs pass us, her tall form bouncing on her thin legs with grace, making her shiny hair fly. Dean would like her, he would totally sleep with her… Oh wait, we’re in Lebanon, there aren’t many girls that pretty around here, maybe he already did…

“How about ‘I have feelings for you’ ?”Sam suggests with puppy eyes and a childish adorable shrug.

I sigh, rubbing my face. Why doesn’t Sam understand ?

“Yeah so it can make our friendship awkward forever, with pity and shit” I look down at my hands. “Or so he chooses to erase my memory like he did with Lisa ?”

A silence falls between us.

Sam knows what I think of this, how angry it makes me. Of course I don’t want to see him with Lisa, in fact my heart arches each time I think of what they had together, but take those memories from her… It wasn’t his choice to make. I happened to put myself in her shoes and hated it. I would rather long for a single smile from him all my life than being amputated of the only part of me I cherish : My love for him.

The second reason I hate it is because of what it says about him : Dean is really convinced that he is not good enough. For anything, for anyone.

During one of our nights in the Dean cave together, not really watching movies and drinking whiskey, he talked about it. And I know how much Lisa and him were meant to break up eventually. She wasn’t a hunter, and she didn’t really want to know about this life, even if she respected it. He was holding on to her like she was his only chance at happiness because, in his mind, happiness can’t come with the hunter life.

Erasing her memory was not only a way to “protect her”, it was a closure for him. Away of closing the normal life door forever and throw away the key.

“You know he doesn’t think he deserves…” Sam starts but I cut him.

“Don’t.”

I am a hunter. And despite the fact that I am desperately in love with my friend and going crazy with jealousy, I am pretty happy.

I am happy with my life, my heroic, never boring, full of magic life. I mean, they lost a lot, but do they think people with an apple pie life don’t ? Before I became a hunter, I went to so many funerals that the funeral home employees knew me personally before I hit puberty. And when you lose your family to cancer and heart attack, or suicide… You don’t even get to know for sure they’re in Heaven.

But I am a hunter now, and I know. I am relieved and I feel safer, because magic exists, Heaven exists, and angels, even if they are quite different from what I had imagined.

“I just want Dean to be happy” I sigh and Sam’s giant hand rubs my back.

That’s the truth. I wish with all my heart that Dean would realize he can be happy now. That the horror he has been through is over, and that the hunter life he can’t quit doesn’t mean he has to be miserable.

And that is the reason I have to be the best friend I can. That’s the reason I have to swallow that jealousy that is making me bitter, to just love him, as selflessly as I can.

“Can we go home ?” I ask and Sam nods.

Dean’s Pov

I close the bathroom closet and swallow the pill, bending to drink water from the sink, then stand in front of the mirror.

I never really thought of it, but I’m a little pudgy. My hips are not straight and firm, is my butt a little large ? I frown, making my wrinkles appear and sigh. And those freckles… I never really paid attention to them until that college girl said something about it. Something with a kind smile but her mean girl voice betraying her : “I guess it’s cute, but it always kinda look like the skin is dirty, you don’t have too many on the face so it’s okay”. Why do I have so many freckles ? Dad didn’t, mom either I think, not on her face anyway, and Sam… Sam’s skin is darker than mine, and perfectly smooth. Y/n must like that too.

Stop whining like a teen.

I walk to my room and sit there, trying to ignore the voices in my head saying Y/n likes my brother. Does he like her too ?

I take my headphones and turn the music on loud, closing my eyes, too bad for the headache, the silence is worse anyway.

I’m in Hell, tied up like Alastair used to chain me, but I’m not hurt. Sam enters and points his finger at me.

“You will never be as good as me” he says. “Dad was better, I am better, and the woman you love ?” His laugh is terrifying, evil.

He puts his finger on my stomach and pushes it harder and harder on me, until it hurts.

Until it hurts a lot.

“You’re soft” he says, covering my whines of pain, that come out with my child voice now. “Dad was right, you’re too soft. Your heart is soft, your body too. You couldn’t say no to Alastair, like you can’t say no to a burger” his finger is so strong, like metal, and it feels like it is going to go through my skin and muscles any moment. “You have no self-control. You’re pathetic, Dean… Dean ? Dean.”

I gasp, half sitting when I open my eyes.

“Sorry” Y/n says, and I look up to find her next to my bed, her hands up in a peace gesture.

“You’re back ?” I ask, still slightly panting.

The sight of her worried face makes my heart slow, and I notice she’s wearing that comfy pajama of hers, the very loose t-shirt draping lazily from her body, embracing her sweet curves.

“I got tired of running” she smiles kindly, finally plunging her hands in her sweatpants pockets.

I grunt and look at my watch, I have been sleeping a few hours, and I think the hangover is gone.

“I came to ask you if you were hungry and… You didn’t seem well” she nibbles at her lips. “Sorry if I scared you.”

I rub my eyes and give her a weak smile.

“You didn’t” I state. “I’m super hungry, yeah.”

I am. When I drink like that, I often skip diner.

I get up and grunt, rubbing my eyes. I thank her, walk to the kitchen with her and sit at the table in a sigh.

“So” she says with that radiant smile on her face. “I was thinking of making burgers. I know I don’t cook them as good as you, but !”

She turns around and shows me her phone screen, moving it too much in her enthusiasm for me to see anything. I chuckle and grab her wrist to still it, enjoying the softness of her skin under my fingers. On the phone, a recipe. “The best burger possible”, with descriptions of how to make the onions crispy, and to make the best sauce…

“Maybe I will finally make burgers as good as yours or close” she states, taking her hand back to read the recipe.

“You know you’re cute ?” I state, but I can’t give her the tender expression I intend to, as my dream comes back to me.

Maybe I should learn to say no to a burger.

“Not as much as your sleepy head” she chants.

“You know…” I clear my throat. “Maybe for once, we should eat what you like and not my greasy crap, like Sam says.”

She stops and turns to me with a pan in her hand and a surprised look.

“But” she pouts. “Me like burger.”

I look down, trying to think of something to say, she actually looks a little disappointed. She was so proud of what she had found… That woman is like a ray of sun.

When I’m about to tell her that I would love to taste her burger, regretting having made her beautiful smile fade, she puts her phone on the table before me and starts looking in the fridge.

“I get it Dean.”

“Really ?”

“Too much alcohol, your grandpa stomach is fragile” she chuckles and I wonder how she seem to never show real hurt, annoyance or disappointment at anything I say. "Okay, you asked for it, I prepare the same for you as I do for Sam and me."

“Yeah…” I mumble.

My eyes fall on her phone and my heart flutters. She forgot to lock it, and it’s the first time I see her wallpaper picture. It’s us. Just me and her. I remember that day.

It was last summer, we were hunting a Wendigo that attacked campers, and had to camp ourselves in the wood for a night to find it. It was a beautiful night. When the photo was taken, I was telling a story, standing with a large smile on my face and a beer in my hand. Y/n came close, I don't remember why, and she wrapped her arms around me, holding my waist with her head on my shoulder.

The picture really looks like we were a couple. She's staring up at me while I tell the story, her face inches away from mine. Behind us, that beautiful lake and a part of her blue tent. I don't remember who took this photo, and I think this moment must have been very short, or I would remember it. Maybe she just came that close to tell me something in the ear, maybe it was one of those quick hugs she gives me when I say something sad or mention being hurt.

Why would she have that on her screen ? Before I can think of it further, her phone locks by itself and becomes black.

I look up, her back is still on me, she's cutting something. With a discreet finger, I touch her phone, trying to make the photo appear again but her lock screen makes me sigh.

Sam, of course Sam. It's a selfie they took together, simple and cute, both looking at the phone my brother is holding.

"I'm afraid you'll still be hungry after th-" she turns around and her eyes fall on my finger on her phone. "But if you are, there is pie" she states, taking her phone to put it in the back pocket of her jeans.

Like she needed to hide something, like she was embarrassed that I saw that Sam is on her screen.

She arranges her salad or whatever she's making, puts a plate in front of me, and two others for Sam and her.

"Sam !" she calls and I look down at the plate.

I must say my it is pretty, all colorful. I recognize avocado, tomatoes... But as pretty as it is, it doesn't make me hungry, rabbit food never does.

"Oh wow, Dean is grounded or something ?" my brother chuckles, entering the kitchen.

"Leave him alone" she answers before I can make a comment. "His stomach is still upset."

Sam gives me suspicious look, I never ate this kind of veggie plate in my life, if my stomach is really upset, I wait an hour, and the second it's better, I fill it with beef jerky.

I can see my brother is waiting for me to make a comment, complain. But when I don't, he just shrugs and starts eating, talking to her about something I don't listen to. I take a piece of avocado with my fork and when I look up to her, she's staring at me, her beautiful eyes searching my face.

"You can change your mind Deanie. I can still make bacon" she smiles.

"N-no really I'm okay" I state, eating a green thing without enthusiasm.

"Oh wow" Sam sneers. "Dean says no to bacon !"

I swallow the lump in my throat and feel my cheek redden despite my effort to be as stern as possible. I don't need his smart words, and I don't need to see them being so perfect with each other. Getting up, I put the fork down.

"You know Sam, I actually can say no from time to time."

Leaving the room, I rub my face.

Reader's Pov

I stay still, my eyes on the kitchen exit where Dean just disappeared. Something is wrong, really wrong.

I have seen Dean sad, grumpy and pushing people away, but this is new.

"I should go check on him after diner" Sam says. "He obviously have something on his mind."

"Yeah..."

My phone buzzes, it's him.

Hey Sweetheart, I'm sorry for leaving without eating what you prepared. Please tell Sam to not check on me. I'm going to bed, I'm just tired.

Dean is never "just tired".

Okay Deanie. Don't worry for the food. Please if you need something, remember I'm right here.

Dean didn't come out of his room at all.

I waited a little in the kitchen, finishing that stupid show I had started the day before, when he was out with yet another woman. I was hoping maybe he would show up to eat something, and then I could talk to him, but he didn't.

"Y/n" Sam's voice makes me jump slightly, frowning at the too bright light. "Did you fell asleep out of bed again ?"

I look around, my laptop battery died, I don't know how long ago and I have no idea of what time it is.

My friend lets out a deep sigh, offers me his hand and closes my laptop. I get up and follow him, a new ache in my back.

"What was it this time ?" he asks opening the door to my room. "And don't say it has nothing to do with him."

I frown, close the door and sigh letting myself fall sitting on my bed.

"He didn't eat" I mutter and Sam rolls his eyes. "What ? You admitted yourself that something is off."

"Can I sit ?" he asks, taking place beside me on the bed when I nod. "Your crush for my brother, it was cute at first..."

I can see him hesitate, and I know I won't like what he has to say.

"But ?"

"But this is getting unhealthy" he looks down. "You know I love my brother, b-but I think he's not a good thing for you in the end."

My eyes get wet but I keep listening silently.

"Dean is... We all are damaged. You can't stand seeing him angry or hurt but, you know, he is most of the time. Y/n you can't keep spending your nights on wooden chairs just in case he need a freaking sandwich. You're a hunter, a warrior !"

I want to protest, it's not that simple. But nothing come out of my mouth. When tears roll on my face, he opens his arms, welcoming me against him.

I can't love Dean less, he knows that. But for the first time, he's telling me that he disagrees ; and that changes everything. Sam was always the one kindly making fun of me or taking pictures discreetly for me to stare at on my phone at night. What if he decides he has to talk to Dean ? What if he gets tired of me, his best friend ? And what if he's right ?

"You have to talk to him" he states, making my fears cut my air supply for a moment.

"I-I can't" I sob, half panicking.

"You know he really loves you..."

I let go of his arms, not really wanting to hear more but he keeps holding me.

"What are you so afraid of ?" he sighs.

Dean's Pov

I'm hungry. My stomach is gurgling and I feel a little dizzy, I need to eat, it's not like I was going to be more like Sam by starving or skipping meals anyway. I will never be like him. More like Sam is not only a muscle thing, he's also taller, smarter, better...

Coming out of my room, I rub my face, thinking of her pretty face a little shocked when I left. I should apologize.

After a very quick shower, I put on my grey robe and slippers again, walking to her room slowly.

I rarely felt that weak, after my heart failure years ago, or after a big blood loss... But hunger like that, I didn't feel it since that week dad left and I lost the food money. I was ten or eleven... I remember feeding Sammy with stolen food, and eating only the leftovers, a piece of fruit, a crust of bread... Sam was starting to realize something was odd. I was so tired...

I am so tired.

I ate eggs at lunch the day I went out, then nothing on the evening. And yesterday... Nothing either. I haven't eaten for like forty hours, not even the crusts of Sam's sandwich or three gummy bears he forgot on the nightstand this time. And I'm starting to shake.

It's enough. I will apologize, make coffee and breakfast for both of us, and ask her to come to my room to continue our "What you haven't seen that ? It's a classic !" marathon movie.

Just when I'm about to knock at her door, it opens.

Sam.

My brother comes out of her room... in the morning ; his perfect pecks showing through his t-shirt and his arms covered of superman veins.

"Dean" he says, surprised.

Then he closes the door behind him, not letting me in, and I feel my blood go down on my feet, making me dizzy.

"Give her a minute" he states, and leaves.

I stay in front of the door, looking at it like I could see through it. A minute ? What, is she still naked ? Panting ? Dirty ?... I shake my head.

I can't.

I...

She's my Y/n, how can he touch her ? How can he ? I need her, I need her for me... I can't...

My breath is short and I try to fight the crushing wave of emotions almost making me fall on my knees. Sam is better, I'm a grunt, I'm damaged, dumb, unworthy... And I'm freaking fat !

The door opens and Y/n bumps on my chest jumps, very surprised to find me here.

"Dean ?" she give me a well faked smile but it fades the second her eyes meet mine. "Dean... Are you okay ?"

I nod but I know the devastating hurricane raging inside of me is showing. And I'm not sure to feel my heart anymore.

"Deanie, did something happen ?"

"N-no" I state.

"Let's get breakfast" she frowns suspiciously. "I told Sammy that I wouldn't run this morning."

Why ? Are you tired ? Sore ? Did he hurt you ?

"I'm not hungry" I state.

The truth is I can't swallow anything right now.

"Not angry ?" she bites her lip. "What is it Dean ? Are you going on a hunger strike ?"

"No" I say and realize my tone is defensive.

She sighs and looks down, licking her lips, probably to taste my brother here...

"I'm worried" she whispers. "You didn't eat at all yesterday, and I know for a fact that you didn't get up for food."

"How can you be sure ?"

Her eyes are suddenly wet, and now I know what that fake smile was hiding : tears. It's enough to make me forget in a second about my own pain, about the crushing feeling on my heart.

"Because I slept in the kitchen again" she says a little coldly before walking pass me.

Reader's Pov

I have to hide my face. I can't deal with Dean telling me my love unhealthy too, or with his questions. And I can't cry before him, I wouldn't know how to explain it.

I enter the kitchen and take eggs and bacon from the fridge. Hungry or not, he will eat a little, he needs it.

Not hungry... Is he sick ?

"Y/n..." he sighs behind me, but I don't answer, breaking the delicate eggshells against the pan edge. "Why did you sleep there ?"

"I don't know" I just say. "Why aren't you eating ?"

"I eat, Y/n."

"Not lately, no. S-so now I make you a real breakfast, like you like it, with meat and fat."

"Maybe I should stop eating that..." he mumbles for himself, but I hear him and turn around.

"What ?"

His whole body language changed. He doesn't stand with that confidence and dominance he usually has. He's hurt, hurt bad. He looks tired and pale, but not only...

"What is going on between Sam and you ?" he asks, low.

"Sam ?"

I slightly shake my head in confusion.

I don't understand his question, I don't understand the pain on his face. Something happened when he went out, did someone hurt him ?

Suddenly, a smell of burn come to my nose : the eggs ! I turn and try to save them but Dean's strong wrist grabs mine, making me turn to him.

"Answer please."

His voice is more somber than angry, but his gesture is firm and he's shaking. I can see the fire raging inside of him.

"What do you mean going on ? Dean... The food" I try to turn.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT FOOD !" he suddenly yells, my heart racing and eyes wetting instantly. "I HAD ENOUGH FOOD FOR AN ENTIRE LIFE !"

His vise fingers suddenly lets go of my wrist and he takes a step back, fear on his features, like he was afraid of his own emotions. Dean is an impressive and dangerous man, but I will never be scared of him.

I wipe the tears that escaped my eyes and, on the surface calmly, turn off the fire under the burned eggs. Then I get closer to him and take his hand, way softer than he took mine a second before, under the slightly too long sleeves of his adorable robe. I decided I would be a better friend, it's my chance to be.

"If you precise your question, Deanie, I will answer. I just don't really get it" my eyes are on him, kind but firm, like I was taming a wolf.

"I..."

He doesn't manage to finish his sentence, the gearwheels of his mind visible behind his sparkling eyes. If I don't help him, he will run away, and burry it forever.

"What do you think is going on between Sam and me ?" I ask, noticing his lips are really white, even more than before. But I know he won't agree to eat right now, not until we fix what is bothering him. "Do you think, we're hiding something ?"

That would explain why he was staring at my phone yesterday. Sam and him have been deceived so often, lied to...

"Are you together ?" he cuts my thoughts. "Or is it just casual ?"

"What ? No !" I frown, letting go of his hand just a second. "Dean... Sam is my friend."

"He's perfect" he whispers.

You're perfect.

"He's amazing" I nod. "Sam is one of the best person I know..."

"He's handsome" he cuts me.

I search his face, and he nervously licks his lips. I take his hand again shyly, just the tip of his fingers. He will close again because he regrets those words. I have to answer quickly even if I'm really wondering what this is about.

"H-he is" I state. "Not really my type but he really is a beautiful man."

"You're always together... He... He slept in your bedroom" he says, taking back his hand. "You guys do what you want, but don't take me for a fool."

I take a deep breath, I won't get out of this without saying a little too much. I little of what I don't want to say. But Dean seems to need answers, and what Dean needs...

"He didn't sleep in my room, I told you I fell asleep in the kitchen. He found me, and bought me back there, tried to convince me to sleep but I was worried... and sad. Why those questions ?"

"Sad ?"

I don't want to answer now, so I continue.

"And... I spend a lot of time with him because he's my friend and..."

Being with you sometimes hurt.

He doesn't answer, and looks down at himself. Is he jealous that spend time with Sam ? We indeed used to be even closer, before my love for him started being out of control. Does he feel like that third friend the others forget a little for the fun things ?

"Dean, are you upset because I went running with Sam instead of watching movies with you yesterday ?" he looks away. "Does this have anything to do with the fact that you're not eating ?"

"I... I don't know" he sighs. "I'm a little dizzy."

"Sit Dean" I say, guiding him to the table. "Tell me what's going on with food. Please. You know I hate to see you bad."

He rubs his face with both hands, his scruff audible under his palm. How I wish I could kiss this jaw, how I wish I could show him how much I love him, how I know who he is, not like those girls.

"It's ridiculous..." he tries, but I sit facing him, and wait for him to talk. "I'm not... like Sam."

"Like Sam ?"

"You know... Abs and..." he motions his body. "All."

"Wait" I blink a few times. "Dean you're perfect."

He scoffs so bend a little to make him look at me.

How can he compare himself to his brother ? Where do that come from ? I know Dean struggles with serious self-hate, but would never have guessed it would reach that subject, of physical appearance... Maybe this is about a woman.

"Dean. You're the most beautiful man I have ever seen." My mouth starts freeing itself from truth I kept locked, and I can't stop it. "I'm serious. Your face looks like some masterpiece with perfect proportion, y-your eyes are ridiculously green, your jaw could cut glass, your lips..." my eyes fall on them and my words get lost. "You're tall and broad..."

"You're making me blush Sweetheart" he says, he voices back to its usual low hoarse tone. "Still I... You know I'm... a kid when it comes to food, I never exercise..."

"Never exercise ?" I smile. "Three days ago you climbed inside a house then dug a six feet deep hole on the ground, and the day after you chased a monster, fought him, and carried his body to a place where you can burn it... I say you deserve a burger."

His face seems to light up a little, but his pretty pillow lips are still too white.

"But it's not working out, like Sammy."

"Dean... Your brother likes it, he need it to focus, to think" my smile grows and I speak lower, I know my admiration is showing, and it honestly feels liberating. "And he needs that to keep up with you."

"He doesn't" he almost chuckles, finally warming my heart.

"Well, you're the best. It's natural for you, but we have to work, especially me."

"You two are better than me" he states.

"We're not. And... Dean not eating isn't going to make you feel better about yourself. It's going to wear you out, make you weak..."

"I know" he sighs.

"Can I make you a breakfast ? The color of your lips makes me want to draw a salt circle."

He chuckles fully this times, wrinkles appearing on the corner of his eyes.

I gently pat his shoulder as I get up, still not believing Dean could have insecurities like those. I throw away the burnt cold eggs and make some new, with bacon.

"I hear comments sometimes you know..." he says like it was easier now I'm not looking at him. "The things you said, that my face is nice..."

"More than nice" I admit, turning a little to him, but not fully to keep watching the pan.

"It happened that girls expect more under my shirt" he looks down. "I know it's ridiculous... I just, I don't know, maybe I feel disappointing."

"It's not ridiculous" I state under my breath, grabbing a plate to finally give him food. " Here, eat this, all of it."

"Like with the whole FBI look or with my seductive smile" he stops and grunts. "I feel like a teen."

"Hey, nothing like that between us, you know that. I told you about very embarrassing stuff" I reassure him. "And, what you're saying is interesting, men endure the social standards too."

"I... I don't know I didn't age like a model, I'm... soft."

Model.

"You know..." I start.

I pour two coffees and take a chocolate bar for myself, watching him before I keep talking, to make sure he starts eating.

"Delicious" he states, putting big pieces in his mouth.

"One of the reason I work out with Sammy is... Precisely because I don't want to look ridiculous next to two total models."

"Now that's" he starts, opening his mouth too big at how hot it still is. "That's kinda ridiculous. You're the prettiest girl ever !"

"I'm not" I whisper, softly blowing on my coffee.

"What ? You are Y/n" I lift my eyes on him, his lips are still a little light but shining with grease.

"I'm not like the girl you go out with."

I don't dare looking up, but see he stopped moving. His robe is now totally opened, the belt got loose, and my eyes are lost in the black of his shirt.

"The girls I go out with" he repeats. "You're way better than those girls."

"Oh listen to you, that doesn't sound cliché at all" I say a little too coldly, a shocked expression appears on his face. "I... I'm sorry."

"You know... the girls I go out with, that doesn't really mean anything."

"I know" I cut him to make him understand I'm not asking him to justify himself.

But he keeps talking anyway.

"I have been with divorced single moms, witnesses... college girls" he says the last one with something bitter and I take this occasion to make it about him again, and not me.

"Two day ago" I ask, although it's the last thing I want to talk about. "It was a college girl, Deanie ? Did something happen ?"

"Yeah... no" he states, answering my two questions. "I just... I just realize it wasn't really what I wanted, not anymore. And that it didn't... didn't really make me feel good about myself."

"Too young for you ?" I try to joke, giving him a piece of my chocolate bar, feeding him like I always do, with everything I have in my hand.

"Kinda yeah" he answers seriously. "I don't know... She... I wasn't frat boy enough for her I guess."

"Yes, that's exactly the idea, that you're not that !"

"I didn't really, you know... enjoy it" he says and I fight the images coming in waves in my head. "I was too focused on trying to prove something" a dark chuckle escapes his lips. "I don't even know who I was trying to convince. And she... She didn't like the tattoo, the scars, the freckles..."

"Whoa whoa ! Who's that bitch ?" I lift my hands in the air, sincerely shocked, I never knew some women would be able to not appreciate Dean.

He smiles kindly but looks at the bottom of his coffee.

Silence. I wish I could make him see who he is, I wish I could speak more, ask questions, but just talking about that stupid college girl that had him, but on top of that made him feel bad about himself...

"You look sad again" he cuts my thoughts.

"Sad ?"

"Yeah, it happens often. You start thinking deeply and you get sad" he says. "Listen... You're the most amazing friend, and woman, there is..."

"But" I whisper, echoing the conversation with Sam in my head.

"There's no 'but'" he shakes his head. "I was just going to say that I want to be a better friend, and man, for you."

"You already are the best" I smile but he doesn't smile back at all, his green eyes searching mine.

"I'm not. I let you down several times. I get why you would rely on Sammy more. I left you at this bar after that hunt when that witness was hitting on me. And I cancelled movie night twice to go out, just to feel... I don't know desired, loved maybe ? I know how absurd it is" When I'm about to talk, he doesn't let me. "And I worry you... coming home drunk as fuck in the morning." He rolls his eyes a little. "And with Baby..."

"I'm not your mom, I have to stop being so protective, Sam is right..."

"Sam ?"

That's it, the moment I say so much I regret it my whole life. But I promised my best friend I wouldn't go on like this, that I would either talk to Dean, like he wants me to, or at list try to work on my feelings to move on. It's time to stop hiding everything from the man I love and make our friendship pure again.

"Sam says..." I clear my throat. "That... I have to care a little less about you, to care a little more about me" I don't dare looking up and let out a dark chuckle. "Won't be easy... I care a lot about you."

When he doesn't answer, I finally look up, fearing what I will see on his face. He's just staring at me with an expression I never really saw on his face. His gorgeous lips are pink again, and the scruff on his cheeks, a little darker than usual, highlights the radiant light of his big beautiful eyes.

He half gets up, bending on the table. And before I can realize what's happening, he puts his lips on mine in a soft, warm kiss.

My whole body responds to it. The thin hair on my arms stick up, my heart starts beating my chest and my thighs get moist with a thin layer of sweat.

I stay frozen for a second, looking at him in disbelief, playing the quick kiss again and again in my head as he sits back.

"I just..." he clears his throat and sigh, getting up. "I'm not Sammy."

Before he can leave, before this moment becomes a memory I will struggle to think as real, before I find myself in that hole of secrets again, I get up. But he's already walking to his room.

"Dean !" I run after him, meeting him at his bedroom door. "Dean. You're not Sammy. You're you, you're perfect in every ways."

My heart is pounding. Let's do this, he needs this. Dean needs to be loved and I didn't know he needed reassurance. No one can to this better than me, because I worship him. I always said I wanted to show Dean he can be happy, and loved without changing his life for good. This is my shot at it, I may not be enough, I may not be what he wants or needs, but at least I can share with him. My devotion, my love, my body, all he wants.

And If my heart breaks, let it be a happy sacrifice.

"Your freckles are like stars in a summer sky" he frowns when my fingers come up to graze his cheek. "I already liked freckles but yours... You make any other skin look plain and boring."

His face is so close, the delicious smell of his skin reaching me. His pupils are large, just circled with that green that could make me cry.

"Your lips..." I say a little lower, looking at them intensely.

From here, I can see the few freckles that made their way on them. Then I see his tongue, slowly wetting them before he bends again, catching my lips softly, his nose bumping mine when he opens his mouth to capture my upper lip, once, twice...

I open my mouth and wrap my arms around him, deepening the kiss with a shameless hunger, and all my love in it. Something blows up inside of me, something strong : need.

Dean's Pov

No drunk groans, and no shame anywhere. I kiss her like it was words, and take her inside my room.

"Your smell" she says and I feel emotions rush in every one of my veins, but it's not disturbing like it usually is. "I could bath in it, live it."

I bend to burry my face in her neck, inhaling deeply.

And I take my time, I have no reason to hurry, nowhere to go, no woman to come back to. She slips her fingers between the strands of my hair, letting me hold her close, drowning in her smell.

I want to cry, and I don't really know why. Probably because of how right this feels. Because of that relief : She not with my brother. She is not with Sam...

"Dean..." she whispers, her nails gently grazing my scalp. "Can I see you ?"

I put a kiss on her neck and murmur a tender 'yes' against it.

Her hands leave my hair to go down along my neck, sending shivers down my spine, and push my robe, making it fall like a cape at my feet. That’s how she makes me feel, like her hero.

Her chin goes up without me leaving her neck, and she gently rubs her cheek on my jaw. In a soft moan, I open my mouth to leave wet kisses on her skin.

Maybe she can be mine...

"Sometimes your voice makes me shiver" she whispers in my ear. "Just your voice... It's so deep."

Somehow her words send electricity to my crotch and I can feel my boxers getting tighter.

My hands grab her ass, pressing her against me and when she moans, I feel my cock twitch.

"Y/n..."

"You're beautiful in everything" she continues, her hands slipping under my shirt to stroke my back, her voice slightly weaken by arousal. "But when you wear henleys or just a t-shirt..." she kisses just below my ear. "I can get wet by just looking at you."

My cock twitches and I groan.

"Are you wet now, Baby ?"

She nods and I let go of her ass to cup her face, kissing her like I always dreamed of, deeply and hungrily, not caring of being in control of myself, not caring if I seem desperate.

She starts to walk, making me take a few steps back until my calf hit the edge of the bed and I sit on it. I tug at her shirt to make her straddle me, but she takes a second to take off her shorts, revealing her beautiful thighs, and her white panties.

When she finally straddles me, spreading her legs, I spot a wet stain on her panties and a low growl leaves my chest.

"Fuck... You are..." I say, my hand coming down to cup her sex through it, feeling the tip of my finger get wet.

Her body immediately contracts, and, with my middle finger pressed against her entrance, I can even feel her walls clench around nothing.

"How can you be so reactive" I groan.

"It's you..." she moans, rolling her hips just a little to feel my hands more. "Dean... No men can do this to me."

My other hand comes up to take that worn out black shirt she stole with impatience, because I notices she wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

"Oh baby..." I let out, bending to kiss her breasts, my other hand teasing her more.

I'm burning up, my back sweating, my cock painfully hard. I don't remember being that turned on in my life by so little. She hasn't even touched me yet.

Her head falls back and her nipples point at me, begging me to suck at them, so that's what I do. Mouth open, I take one in my mouth, along with the most of her soft breast I can.

"Ah..." she moans and squirms above me. "Dean !"

My cock twitches at just hearing my name like that, my real name on top of that.

I slip my hand in her panties, desperate to hear more, feel more. She's soaked, her thighs contracted and her hips rolling against my hand. She doesn't form words, but her body is begging for more.

So I slip a finger inside her and feel her squeeze him, hear her gasps. I can't wait to be inside of her but that's not my only purpose... Oh God when she will clench around me ! I’m panting now.

"Please Dean" she whines, one of her hand going behind her to find balance on my knee, her beautiful body arching back.

I give her what she needs, another finger, pumping slowly at first, then going a little stronger, and my thumb on her clit, gently circling. I look at her with my mouth open in awe, a devouring pleasure making me high.

"Fuck" I pant.

I should try to focus, make that coil inside me calm, make my heart slow. I don't want to be aroused like a teen, or I won't last at all... But I can't, and my free hand comes on my crotch to touch myself through my boxers a little, desperate for some friction.

"Dean ! Dean..." she cried out, now joining the movement of my fingers with her whole body. "I need..."

"Come for me" I order. "Show me how much you want me Baby, clench those fingers."

And just like that, she does.

Her whole body shakes and her thighs crush me, her walls trying to milk my finger for what they can't give her.

"DEAN DEAN DEAN !"

My cock twitches so hard it's painful, I bend on her chest to not see her face longer, and try to hold back as hard as I can.

"Baby... fuck..." I whine, my whole stomach contracting and my cock pulsating.

But when she grabs my head to hold it against her and start rolling her hips hard to prolong her powerful orgasm, I can't hold back...

In a very loud frustrated grunt I come in my pants, feeling my cum drip along my twitching cock.

Reader's Pov

My bliss makes me high, but my senses are at their full power, so I can feel what’s happening. I can feel Dean squirm beneath me and shake, I can feel his hand unable to move and hear his gasps.

He’s coming.

My walls clench even more at the thought and he whimpers against my breasts. So I hold him, I just hold him.

When I finally can have the control of my body again, I look down at him and he withdraws his fingers slowly.

“Y/n…” he whispers. “Fuck I…”

“Did you came ?” I ask with the largest smile I ever had on my face.

“I… yeah… I’m…”

He seems embarrassed.

“Dean, that’s the sexiest thing I have ever experienced” I assure him, bending to kiss his lips. “No one ever wanted me that bad.”

“I still want you” he states, his hands stroking my back and going down on my ass. “I… I think you’re all I want actually.”

My eyes get wet. In my head : every single moment in my life that made me fall in love with Dean, every day, every moment I craved for a touch, for his smell, every time he laughed and cried… Everything.

“Then you have me Dean, you can have me forever if that’s what you want.”

“Yes, I do” he says, taking off his shirt.

With a large smile I push him back on the bed, letting him drag both of us higher on it. I look down at him, and a tear falls on his chest. His hand comes up to wipe my cheek, we don’t need to talk for a moment.

My hands go down his sides, enjoying his firm chest and the soft line of his stomach, my thumbs massaging it a little on their way up, feeling the strong muscles underneath and the silky-smooth skin.

I bend to kiss his collarbones, and his tattoo, palms still roaming everywhere like I always dreamed of, like I will always dream of.

“This tattoo” I say, drawing its contour with my finger. “It’s so you, it has a story, and it protects you. I love it.”

“And I love you” he states without a hesitation, his chin almost on his neck to see me.

A tiny emotional sob escapes my lips, making him frown a little and wrap his strong arms around me.

“Hey baby…” he whispers. “Y/n…”

My hand goes down to push his underwear down, and my panties to the side. He searches my eyes while I do, and licks his lips in a moan when I grab his cock to guide it at my entrance.

“I love you” I say, slowly sinking down on him. “I love you, I love you…”

FEEDBACK IS WHAT MAKES ME WRITE

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hp-imagines-07 · 4 years ago

Text

Only You

Sirius Black x Fem!Gryffindor!MuggleBorn!Reader

Universe: Harry Potter; The Marauders era

Type: fluffy and ANGST (but with a happy ending, u'll love it, i swear)

Summary: [y/n] and Sirius' relationship is in danger... the request really

Request: YES|no - "Great so the idea I had was a Sirius x reader - regulus threatens the reader and says he will hurt Sirius or whatever if reader doesn’t break up with him . the reader doesn’t tell anyone and don’t listen to begin with then something happens so she feels she has no choice . Sirius is suspicious since lily told him that the reader said he is the one and also the fact she is avoiding everyone . Find out about it when they see regulus threaten reader and then Convinces the reader to get back together. Also the reader is muggle born." @rebsx thank you for the perfect request, hope you cry with me at the sad parts

Prompt: xxx

Warnings: cursing probably, heartbreak in slowburn(?) and threats maybe

Song: xxx

Word Count: 5.6K (i can't believe it's this big, i swear it wasn't my intention)

Posted: 28th of September 2020

A/N: i'm sorry that i took so long to write it... but i really hope you like it as much as i loved it (probably my best work until now)

My Others Accounts: @imagines-07 (Principal Account) | @obx-imagines-07 (Outer Banks) | @mcu-imagines-07 (Marvel Comics Universe) | @stit-imagines-07 (Stranger Things & IT) | @cm-imagines-07 (Criminal Minds)

MY MASTERLIST

"See you after Charms, my love." Sirius says and kisses [y/n]'s forehead, before pecking her lips and walking away to his next class. She just smiles to herself and starts to walk up the stairs to the Fat Lady Portrait, going to spend her free period reading a book or doing nothing alone in the common room.

Having free periods like this are the worse, [y/n] can't even spend time with her boyfriend or any of her friends because she was the lucky one to have a free period on the last class of Wednesday while all of them were on Charms together.

As she was getting to the next staircase, it decided to change with all of the other ones. Her eyes rolled when the entrance of the Gryffindor common room just got more and more distant, and then she saw something weird...

Slytherins. Wait, not just ordinary Slytherins or one of the ones she shares tables at Potions, but Blacks. Regulus was in front of the other ones, walking down the stairs with Narcissa and Bellatrix just behind him. All that [y/n] was wishing was that the stairs they were while staring at her, wasn't going to meet with the one she was at. But luck wasn't by her side.

[y/n]'s hands held her up by holding the handrail at her right when the stairs stopped moving - even after 6 years, she couldn't get used to it - and her eyes founded the three Slytherins at the same staircase as her, going down the stairs with light steps that she wouldn't be able to listen if she wasn't looking at them.

'What in bloody hell would a Slytherin be doing at this part of the castle?'

[y/n] shook her head and all the weird thoughts went directly to the back of her mind, where they should stay and never get out. Her feet started to bring her up the long stairs she still had to walk to get to the common room and even with her huge and heavy bag filled with books of all the classes [y/n] had today, her legs were moving fast. It was probably the need to stay away from a few people that just hated her existence and stay in a safe place, but just maybe...

As they walked straight to each other, [y/n] could feel her heart beating at her throat and ears, chills going up and down her arms and legs, and a weird feeling in the deepest part of her heart. Her gut was screaming to her that something was off and that she should get to the common room as fast as her legs could take her up the almost infinity stair.

And with the fact that the unique people that she could see all around her were the Black cousins, [y/n] knew they were up to something. And just the thought that they were up to something while looking at her, made her hands cold and sweat and her knees feel weak.

As they finally got to each other, Regulus just took his hand out of his pocket and stopped you with a warning hand in front of your chest without even the need to touch you. [y/n]'s face turned towards them and the three of them were already looking at her with their characteristic expressions.

Regulus had one of his eyebrows raised and the corner of his lips that, if you squinted your eyes really hard, you could notice that it was a little upwards in a sly smirk. Narcissa had her serious face, without the slightest of emotion letting through her face, and even her eyes were as deep as the end of a maze can be. And Bellatrix had her wide smile, that could stay in any child's worst nightmares, with her big eyes as wide as her smile was.

"Uhm, hello?" [y/n] said with a delicate voice, just above a whisper, but even this low, she showed confidence. It doesn't matter if the girl was dying on the inside, she would never let anyone - especially them - know that they got under her skin. Never...

"We need to have a little chat with you, sister-in-law." It was Regulus strong and deep voice that cut the insides of her ears in fear with his sarcasm while using the nickname.

"Spill." Sirius' girlfriend said and crossed her arms across her chest, in a position of authority while she pretended to not notice Bellatrix's eyes that went directly to her bobs and the way the girl was shifting on her foot.

"The thing is that it's kinda complicated what I have to say to you. But it is an order from my parents, so I will have to say it in any way..." Regulus started and [y/n]'s left eyebrow raised without her even think about it and her right hand moved to put his hand down. "So, I need you to break up with my big brother."

The words seemed so funny that [y/n] tried she really tried to not laugh at it, but a chuckle got out from the back of her throat as the sentence hit her.

"Excuse you?"

"I am serious. And I didn't want to get in details, but my mother says that you are a terrible influence for Sirius and that you can't date him." Regulus explained to [y/n] but her head just shook in disbelief.

"Look, I'm so sorry to disappoint you. But if you think that I'm going to break up with the boy I love, all of you are dumber than what I thought you were." [y/n] said and started to walk upstairs again, just wanting to go back to her dorm or the common room and read the book Remus gave to her last weekend. "Thank you for your attention, but I won't."

"Ok, do whatever you want to do," Regulus said and his cousins looked at him with surprised faces, probably not expecting the way he accepted [y/n]'s decision. "But I should warn you that, my mother's orders were to do something with Sirius if you just decided to not listen to us. And that's what I will do." Your body froze five steps upwards the one he was in and four from the girls. "So, I am giving you until Friday. You have two days to break his little heart, or we will hurt him physically and we won't hesitate."

[y/n] gulped loudly with the words of the brother of her boyfriend and felt her fingers starting to shake. No, they wouldn't do this to Sirius... His own family? No, they couldn't. Right?

The thing was that she didn't know the answer and was afraid to find out.

Friday.

It was finally Friday and [y/n] didn't have the guts to break up with Sirius. She just couldn't.

And since the threaten, she has had a billion eyes to look out for Sirius. Every single second that he was away from her, she was worried sick about him, and all of their friends noticed the way that [y/n] couldn't stay mere seconds without her boyfriend, or she would start to freak out and look for him at every corner of the castle. [y/n] got paranoid when it was still Thursday.

And now, at her last class of Friday, she couldn't bring herself to change her gaze from Sirius to the professor, neither pay attention to the new subject. Lily's eyes were focused on her since the start of class, but [y/n] didn't even notice the redheaded strong gaze on her. And it was worrying Lily.

As the professor dismissed everyone, Lily ran behind [y/n] like a lost puppy, that was already outside the classroom looking around her like a mad man.

"Hi, babes. Can I talk to you?" Lily's voice was the sweetest she had ever heard but [y/n] still jumped scared with the sudden voice.

"Sorry, I can talk right now..." The other girl said and tried to turn around and run - probably to Sirius - but before she could breathe a little bit far from her best friend, Lily held her wrist and didn't say a word while she brought [y/n] to another corridor, an empty and quiet one. "What are you doing, Lily? I said I can't talk right now!" [y/n] hissed at her but Lily just rolled her eyes at the stubborn girl.

"Look, you've been acting weird since your free period on Wednesday, but today you're looking like you're paranoid. What's going on?" Lily asked with an expression of empathy and held both of [y/n]'s hands on hers, softly caressing her best friend's hands with her thumbs. "You can tell me."

[y/n]'s shoulders started to relax under her friend's warm touch, she felt her tense forehead starting to release of this tension and her vision being blurred by tears as she realized what she had gotten into. "I- I..." She didn't know how to tell for Lily about what [y/n] have been feeling lately, it was just too much to take care of alone. And then she let herself open up to her best friend, because if there was anyone that would listen to [y/n], was Lily. "I don't know how to say this, but-" Her weak voice was rudely stopped with a loud noise coming from a corridor close to the one they were on.

'Sirius!'

[y/n] ran away from Lily as fast as her legs could take her tired body from all the sleepless nights since Wednesday and the redheaded one followed just behind her friend with plenty question marks flying around her head.

As they got to the corridor, there were confused, scared and disgusted people with what was happening. [y/n] excused herself and passed through everyone that was on her way to the middle of the circle while people sent her rough looks.

When [y/n]'s eyes met Sirius, she felt the air finally coming back to her lungs, the color of the world coming back to her vision and the control of her moves coming back to her brain, with the view of Sirius completely fine.

"Oh, my Godric Gryffindor. What happened?" Lily's voice beside [y/n] brought her back to reality and she noticed Peter with a broken arm, just at Sirius' left.

"W-We don't know..." Remus said and fell on his knees to help Wormtail to stay up, when he noticed no one was going to help him, he looked around with raised eyebrows. "A little help here?"

James and Sirius didn't wait a second to help their friend in need and in a few seconds all of you were taking Peter to Madam Pomfrey.

[y/n] and Lily were holding Peter's broken arm in the air, so it wouldn't hurt any more with any touch or sudden move, while James carried Peter by his left side, Remus by his right and Sirius was guiding them while holding Peter's waist to make sure he wasn't going to fall.

"Don't worry, Wormtail. You're not going to die." Sirius said joking and just James laughed.

"What? I'm gonna die?"

"Nah, don't worry about it, Pete. It's just a broken arm." James said back but Peter's eyes just got bigger and as he turned his eyes to look at his arm, Remus put one of his hands on his friend's eyes before he could look at his arm in a position that it shouldn't be. Well, if looks could kill, Prongs would be six feet underground just by the glance Moony gave to him. "Sorry..." He whispered back and focused on trying to hold Peter on his feet.

As soon as Madam Pomfrey saw them, she thanked for their help, said that what they did was smart - bringing Peter to her directly and not trying to solve this by themselves - and asked for all of them to wait outside.

"My love," Sirius called [y/n] the same moment the both of them stepped out of the room. "can I talk to you for a second?" He asked and she just nodded as an answer while he held her hand in his and brought her to as far as they friends couldn't hear them. A second before Sirius could open his mouth to say what he wanted, [y/n] jumped on him.

Her arms hugged his neck and her forehead rested on his shoulder, it took a little bit to Sirius understand what was happening but not even a second after, he hugged her back with such as love and caring as she was.

He couldn't actually understand what was happening and even with [y/n/n] loving to hug him at all the times she could, Sirius knew there was something else there. "Hey, what is all this for?" He asked a few seconds later in the embrace and when he felt [y/n] starting to release her tight grip on him because of his question, his arms just held her body closer to his (if that was possible).

"I don't know... I was just worried that you were the hurt one." [y/n]'s voice was just above a whisper and Sirius felt his heart clench with the worry and sadness on her delicate voice.

"Well, I'll just let you worry because it was almost me.." Sirius trailed off and [y/n] felt her whole world stop as she sank the words in. She raised her head to look on Sirius' eyes and hoping to find that little glow from when he was joking or pranking someone. But it wasn't there. "The spell hit Peter because he accidentally stumbled and ended up in front of me..."

Oh, no...

"Sirius... I need to tell you something." That was it, [y/n] was going to tell him how his family was threatening her to break up with him or they would hurt him. This was going to end now. But then she saw him. [y/n] saw Regulus behind a group of people looking at her like he could read her mind - well, maybe he could... He knew she was going to tell Sirius about it. But she couldn't, or they would hurt him. "I-I-I..." She looked back at Sirius' gorgeous face, filled with love and empathy towards her. [y/n] couldn't do it. When her eyes looked at her feet she did it... "Sirius, I-I want to b-break up..."

Three days, eight hours, twenty-five minutes and ten seconds.

It's been three days, eight hours, twenty-five minutes and eleven seconds since [y/n] broke up with Sirius.

And they couldn't be worse without each other.

Neither of them left their dorm room for the weekend and if it wasn't for James and Lily, they wouldn't have eaten anything in those two days. Remus was starting to actually worry about Sirius and Marlene was worried like crazy about [y/n]...

But the problem was that, even Sirius was talking to his friends that he didn't know what to do without her, [y/n] wasn't...

She closed the curtains of her bed the second she sat at the bed but even after three days, eight hours, twenty-six minutes and four seconds, she didn't open it. And she wasn't going to until she could keep them closed.

The first night was torture to all of her friends. [y/n] tried, she really tried, but the loud and agonizing sobs were coming out of her in any way... She cried for the whole night all by herself. On the first ten minutes, Lily, Marlene and even Alice were trying to find a spell to open her curtains so they could help her friend and hold her, but nothing seemed to work.

After a while, they all went to their beds and when they thought she was going to stop crying, with a couple of seconds in silence, [y/n] wasn't able to hold it and she started crying harder. Marlene was silently crying on her bed with her face on her pillow, Alice went to her dorm and Lily tried to stay, but she couldn't take it, so she went to James' room. When she got there, Sirius bed was empty and they were all sleeping, Lily felt bad by coming here but as she turned around to walk away, James stopped her.

Anyone had ever seen Lily cry so much because of something...

Marlene was the unique one on the room with [y/n], she even thought of going somewhere else just to not listen to her best friend cry on that way, but she couldn't let her alone there.

[y/n]'s heart was aching like it was never before. Her first heartbreak, when her family forgot her birthday, when Sirius appeared with scars after summer break... Nothing compared to this moment where she had to hold herself while crying because she had a broken heart that would never be fixed again, and it was all her fault.

Well, that's what she was telling herself. Even with [y/n] wanting to stop thinking about anything - because literally had a way to get to Sirius Orion Black -, her brain was repeating like a mantra that it was happening because she wasn't the perfect girl for him.

While Sirius was bad...

Oh, the boy was heartbreak.

But he didn't want to think much about it, because he was still so confused about how everything just seemed to have collapsed after just a blink.

Because it felt like it, a second he was holding her and then he blinked and she broke up with him... All Sirius wanted was to understand what made [y/n] break his heart the way she has done, but he couldn't.

First of all, he could remember pretty well of when he was worried about her breaking up with him last month (when she was just doing a surprise for him) and Lily told him about how [y/n] said once how she knew he was the one. The one she wanted to be engaged with, married, live together, have kids with and have the happily ever after.

Lily also told him how [y/n] loved Sirius more than anything in this entire world and how she would do anything for him... So, it didn't fix it.

And he also thought about everything his brain could possibly think of that could be in any way a reason for her to break up with him and he wasn't understanding why nothing fixed!

Because even when [y/n]'s mouth was telling him she wanted to break up, her eyes couldn't even look inside of his and Sirius was able to read her better than a book. He saw by how her shoulders were down that she was already depressed before finishing her sentence, the way she started hyperventilate that she was trying to not cry in front of him, how her voice was failing on the middle of the words that she was holding down her sobs, the way she was nervously playing with her own fingers, her trembling lower lip, eyes that were screaming how she loved him... Everything was telling him that she didn't want to do it.

So, why did she?

That was the question that was haunting his thoughts since the first second he took to think about what had happened there.

Sirius thought that staying at the Astronomy Tower would help him to think about it, just like it had always helped [y/n] to study, but nothing was helping him...

Then he got frustrated with all of this bullshit. All he had to do was talk to [y/n], right? Then she would explain to him what actually happened and everything would be alright again because they would get back together and be happy just like they were.

And, while Sirius was thinking about what he was going to say to [y/n] so she would explain everything to him, Marlene, Lily and Alice woke up really early and ran to Professor McGonagall's classroom. If there was someone with more experience in heartbreaks than the girls and that would be willing to help [y/n] was Minerva.

It wasn't a lie to anyone that [y/n] was one of her favourite students - but if you ever told this to McGonagall, she would deny - and she would be happy to help.

So, when the girls explained to her why [y/n] wasn't there at class, why she also wasn't on the great hall for meals and how she was trying to stay distant from everyone, Minerva went right away with the girls to their dorm to check up on [y/l/n].

The same second the professor passed through the Fat Lady portrait, all the students at the common room during their free period looked at McGonagall like she was an alien inside of Hogwarts, maybe it was because she was supposed to be teaching Transfiguration to fifth years, but just maybe...

As they got close to the dorm's door, Marlene - that was the last one to leave - noticed that [y/n]'s sobs had finally stopped and all that they could hear were soft sniffles, heavy breathing and her bed creaking as [y/n] moved around to find a comfortable position that she hadn't been on the last days.

When the girls opened the door for Minerva, the first thing she noticed was the spell around the girl's bed so no one would bother her and if it was in another situation, the professor would be proud of her by such a well-done spell.

[y/n] was crying in a typical way without tears. Because there weren't any more tears to fall from her eyes.

"How long has it been?" Minerva asked while looking at the girls beside her that just shrugged her shoulders.

"Three days..." [y/n]'s raspy voice came out as a whisper but was stopped by a quiet sob. "Three days, ten hours, seven minutes and third-six seconds."

All the girls (and the woman) in the room felt their hearts clench with [y/n]'s hurt voice and how she knew exactly the time that had passed since the breakup. McGonagall, with just a shake of her wand and a whisper under her breath, made the spell open [y/n]'s curtains and in just a second they saw [y/n] wearing Sirius' quidditch jersey and her arms tightly holding one of her pillows to her chest as her legs tried to get closer to herself. She looked so vulnerable there, sitting alone at her bed, with swollen and red eyes...

Lily could feel that, if Sirius saw her like this, he would go back in time and make her sit at the right table on Potions Class, so she would never see how he was struggling with the potion, she would never have helped him to do it and they would never fall for each other.

Marlene was the fastest one to jump on [y/n]'s bed and hold her like their both lives depended on it.

Her soft arms wrapped around her best friend's body as [y/n]'s arms begrudgingly let go of her warm pillow, soon wrapping around Marlene's neck and gold blond hair. A single tear feel from [y/n]'s left eye, softly laying on her friend's shoulder.

Lily and Alice followed Marlene just right behind her and the three girls held their friend as close as they could. Minerva couldn't hold back the little smile that appeared on her face while seeing the girls caring so much about each other.

"Miss [y/l/n], I think you should get ready for your next class." McGonagall said softly and all the girls looked at her. [y/n] looked at her favourite professor with a grateful glance, that Minerva answered with a little nod.

The girls helped [y/n/n] get dressed, but even with her friends helping her, the girl just didn't seem to say anything to them about what happened between her and Sirius... But they knew that she was going to share with them every detail of her thoughts as soon as she was ready, and they just couldn't push it, even if they wanted to - which they didn't.

Sirius had been looking everywhere for [y/n].

Since he decided what he wanted and needed to say to her, Sirius ran downstairs from the Astronomy Tower and started to look for her at the corridors, classrooms, bathrooms, basically everywhere she could be, he had looked for.

His right hand went through his dark black locks in frustration as he looked around himself to see if he could grab a glimpse of [y/n]'s gorgeous [y/h/c] hair or anything that would make his mind scream to him that she was there and he should talk to her. But not even a red, gold blond or almost-white blond from any of the girls to give him some kind of hope that the love of his life could be any close to him.

All he noticed was a jet black hair, just like his, being followed by two other long dark hair. Regulus, Bellatrix and Narcissa. "What?" Sirius muttered to himself under his breath as he saw three of his family members walking to the staircases that led to the Gryffindor common room but the exact opposite way to the Slytherin one, with narrowed eyes...

Sirius didn't need to read minds to know that something was wrong. Something was telling him that he should go after them, that nothing good could come from it. So he did.

Sirius' black boots were tapping the castle floors through the crowds of students as silently as he could to not be seen by his family relatives as he followed them at the corridors. He was feeling like one of the spies from the muggle movies [y/n] had showed him before while hiding behind people, pillars, trash cans and anything he could use to not be noticed.

And then, the trio suddenly turned on an empty corridor, almost filed with fully darkness and Sirius stopped on the right side of the entrance to the hall. Just as he looked at it, Sirius felt his eyes shine with the beautiful sight that [y/n] was to his eyes. She didn't need much to be stunning...

'Wait...' He's thoughts stopped on the second that the reality fell upon him. 'Why are my brother and cousins talking to my girlfr-, ex-girlfriend, on a empty hall? And why does she look so scared?'

"[y/l/n]..." Regulus said and stopped in front of her, blocking her way and the light vision Sirius had of her.

"Look, I did exactly what asked me to, ok? Just let me be..." She snapped back with a trembling and weak voice that made Sirius want to run and just hold her in his arms again.

"We know and I just came here to say that my mother would be thankful for your help... If you weren't a mudblood, you know." Regulus said and Sirius' forehead frowned with anger and confusion. 'My mother asking [y/n/n] for a favor?'

"I didn't do it because your mother asked me to, I just broke up with Sirius because you were up to hurt him if i didn't do it. So, shut up because I don't need your mother's 'thank you's or anything else that comes from her." [y/n] said while poking Regulus' chest. "You should bother someone else with your puppies."

[y/n] passed through them, hitting her shoulder with Regulus' left one and Sirius felt like there was a light bulb above his head being turned on. It all finally made sense, the way that [y/n] didn't want to break up with him, the way she was worried sick with him the whole week, the way she almost freaked out when she thought that the spell hit Sirius and not Peter... And it was all his family's fault.

Sirius didn't know what to do to fix this hugeous mess that was happening just under his nose, but he knew that he needed to take his family threats and intentions far from him and his love before he went to talk to her.

He silently thanked Godric Gryffindor when [y/n] went to the other side of the corridor and didn't notice him there, eavesdropping on their serious conversation. Sirius would take care of this talk with her later...

Just when Regulus started to walk out of the scary corridor, Sirius stopped in front of his little brother, that nervously gulped loudly with the sight of the last person who should hear about their mother's plan.

"You know I love you, Reg. And I know it's not your fault, but if I ever see you talk to [y/n] again, you'd wished you never listened to mother for once." Sirius said calmly. "And don't forget to tell her that there's no way I'm gonna let this girl go, I love her more than anything in this entire world and any of you will take her away from me."

Sirius turned around and walked away from a scared and disappointed - with himself - Regulus and ran to find the unique girl who could make him do those crazy things and don't regret anything after...

Sirius even felt himself starting to hit a few people while he tried to pass through the slow people walking around but he didn't bring himself to stop and care about them while he had to look for her as fast as he could. His heartbeat was in an almost impossible speed, his hands sweating and lightly trembling with anticipation, his mind running around the whole castle while his body was trying to follow his thoughts... Until he saw her.

His whole world froze and all he could see was [y/n] calmly walking to her next class, just like everyone else around her - who his eyes didn't bother to focus or pay attention to. All Sirius was seeing was [y/n].

And before he could notice his movements or think of what he would do when he got to her, his legs were bringing him the closer he could get to her. And, when he thought that the world wasn't moving already, Sirius felt everything else disappear when [y/n] turned around by his hand touching her shoulder.

[y/n] have never looked more gorgeous to him before...

Even with the sore eyelids, the dark bag under her eyes, her without-life skin, her pale lips, her tired eyes and the frown on her forehead when her eyes captured the sight of him... [y/n] couldn't be anymore gorgeous even if she wanted to.

"Sirius?" Her surprised and confused whisper fell upon dead ears as Sirius grabbed the sides of her face and glued his lips on hers.

They've done it so many times before, but after passing days thinking that they would never do it again, made it as special as the very first time, two years ago, in their fourth year.

[y/n] didn't kissed back in the first seconds, but she didn't pull away neither. [y/n] knew she shouldn't, actually, she couldn't do it, but she just couldn't bring herself to stop it and pull away from Sirius' touch. And in a few seconds, she felt her whole body melt onto the kiss as [y/n] finally kissed him back.

Sirius felt a wave of relief pass through his body as it was a shock while [y/n] felt all her organs burning from inside out. At that moment, neither of them knew how they survived the last three days, fifteen hours, forty-three minutes and six seconds without feeling each other's touch.

Sirius' hands fell from her face to her waist like there was the place they belonged to and [y/n]'s hands ran in the direction of his dark hair, getting lost in there like it was the maze she was used of going every single day.

When [y/n] felt her mind dizzy with one of the best kisses they ever shared, she separated her lips from his, but just enough for them to be felt almost touching, their foreheads touching and their hot breathes mixing.

"Sirius, wh-" [y/n] started, but before she could keep going, Sirius abruptly interrupted her.

"I know the truth." [y/n] could have opened her eyes wide as a fish if they weren't glued closed with tiredness. "And I don't care. They took a lot from me, but they're not taking you, just over my dead body..." Sirius said and took a breath to keep going. "I love you, I want you. I only care about you. I don't care about what they think is right for me, because it's you. Only you, [y/n]."

"I love you too, Siri." That was all that [y/n] could let out with a trembling voice but with the biggest certain that she ever had about anything in this world.

They needed each other and nothing would be on their way to happiness and love.

☀︎︎☀︎︎☀︎︎☀︎︎☀︎︎

+ bonus: (Sirius' letter to his mother)

Dear Mother, hope you and father are going well, even if you don't care about me. I think you heard from someone (probably Reg) that your master plan wasn't so good and it didn't work out... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if you think I'm ever going to stay away from [y/n]. I love her more than I've ever loved anything in this world and I don't care about her blood status - which just makes me love her more. I think you won't understand me because your marriage wasn't pretty much your choice, but all I'm asking you is to let her alone. Every single choice I've done until now were decided by me, and anyone else should take the consequences for it. If you ever have a problem with me, I don't want you to make Regulus do your dirty little job, I want for you to talk to me. Thank you for reading so far and I won't be coming home anymore, neither receiving any letters from you. So, enjoy this picture of me and my gorgeous girlfriend, being happy on a beautiful sunset, just the two of us. I love her and only her, hope someday you'll understand that she's an amazing woman and deserve all the happiness and love the world can give her. Goodbye, mother... Sincerely, Sirius Orion Black.

☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾

Taglist:

@cheapglitter @weasleysmuch @missmulti @writtenbypics @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer @dralf0yy @buff-bork @rd155 @seppys-return-to-madness @luciferedits @old-soul-young-mind @pxtrickhxckstettxr @sleep-i-ness @marauderswhisperer @liberty01 @gweaslvy @weasleytwins-41 @siriuslysirius07 @turtlepad @ilovewinter101 @monimillion @simonsbluee @smokey102 @aberette13 @yourbloodyqueen @loverboyreid @eeshea @susceptible-but-siriusexual @weareloserstogether

#Sirius Black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #ben barnes #the marauders #the marauders era #marauders era #marauders fic #marauders x reader #sirius black headcanon #sirius black fluff #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fic

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hearts4-robin · 3 years ago

Text

# flying colors - Katsuki Bakugo

# genre - fluffy angst

# pairing - Katsuki Bakugo x y/n (no specific gender)

# warnings - yelling, swearing, inappropriate words, intense arguments, crying, anxiety, trauma, panic/anxiety attack

# ages - Katsuki Bakugo: 16 - y/n: 16

# authors note - I hope you like this short story (: let me know if you like it and send in some requests! <# this story haven't been read through and English isn't my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes etc.

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# - Thursday - 01.46 a.m. - U.A. Class 1-A dorm building - #

You had forgotten what you were arguing about. But it was heated. It was horrible, the yelling from your boyfriend was driving you crazy. He had just came back from another late extra practice and he had been lacking on giving you any attention. You got that you were both hardworking students but you missed the tingling feeling from when he'd hold you close at 2am while discussing why Mineta is a total asshole.

"You never talk to me anymore!" You voice almost cracked as the words left your mouth. Katsuki's frown sunk deeper, his vein in his neck starting to pulse faster. "Maybe I don't want to pay attention to you, y/n! Ever thought about WHY I always practice so late?" he snapped back. You could clearly see how he was holding back his anger. "Well- no, I haven't-" the thought struck you like one of Kamanari's shocks. "Are you cheating on me?" Katsuki's eyes widened as he watched tears prickle up in your eyes. "What-, no what kind of boyfriend do you actually think I am?" He was yelling. On the brink of screaming at you. "Clearly one who avoids me! Avoids my company! If you're so sick of hanging out with me, why don't you just go right ahead and break up with me?" Now you were yelling too. Holding back wasn't a thing anymore. You watched as Katsuki's hands started releasing small explosions as I his eyes turned darker. You couldn't tell if it was in disappointment, anger or sadness.

"Now why would you say that! Huh? Why?" He was screaming, a hidden growl and sadness under his voice. "Because it's how I feel, Katsuki!" you frowned deeper as your nails dug into the palms of your hands, creating small moon-shaped marks. "I don't care about how you feel, y/n!" You immediately felt a sting of pain in your chest as you watched your boyfriend clench his fist and walk past you and into his dorm room. Well aware that he just woke up half the for building, he slammed the door shut. You covered your mouth with your hand as warm salty tears started streaming down your cheeks. How could he say that to you?

"y/n-chan?-" You looked up, snapping out of the daze you had fallen into. The worried face of your fellow classmate, Eijiro Kirishima, appeared from his bedroom door. "Are you okay? I couldn't help but overhear you and Bakubros argument." He stated as he walked out the door and closing it, revealing himself in a fated red sweatshirt with a big 'Crimson Riot' over the chest and a pair of black pajama pants. You shook your head no at his question as he walked towards you in his big slippers. He frowned worridly as he allowed himself to wrap his arms around you and pull you into a hug. You let out a low sob before you buried your face in Eijiros chest. "H-He doesn't ca-care-, he doesn't care a-about me anymore!" You clung onto Eijiro as he rubbed your back in soothing circles in hope of calming down your mixed feelings. Your chest hurt, your throat was sore and your head was pounding in a quick pace.

"You know Bakubro-, he's not always easy to handle. He won't tell you but he really does love you. He cares for you a lot, y/n." Eijiro looked at you as he lowered his arms around you. You looked at your red haired classmate before he looked towards Katsuki's bedroom. "Give him three days alright? If he doesn't do anything, dump him. I know it sounds harsh but that's the rule I've lived after and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Think about it." You nodded at his words before wiping your tears off your cheeks, even though you knew they'd be back as soon as you'd close your bedroom door. "Good. Sleep well dude! I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow. Don't stay up too late!" Eijiro grinned cheekily as he waved at you. He closed his door as he disappeared behind it. Your lip quivered as you slowly walked to the elevator. You weakly pressed the button to summon the elevator. Stepping inside after the doors opened with a low 'ding!' you leaned against the wall. You pressed the button to your dorm floor before the elevator moved slowly. You rewinded the whole argument in front of you, everything passing like flying colors with all the wrong shades.

The elevator once again let out a 'ding!' before the doors slit open. Sniffling, you walked out of the elevator with your head down. "Young y/n."

You looked up with slightly wide eyes as you heard Mr. Aizawa speak. "M-Mister Aizawa-" You got cut off by his stare. It told you everything. You bowed before walking to your room. "I'll go to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you up." You sniffled back a few tears before you closed your bedroom door after you. Letting out a small sob, you feel onto your bed. You felt absolutely miserable. You felt horrible. The pain and guilt in your chest had spread to your stomach and you felt sick to the guts as you broke down in tears again. After almost 6 months with Katsuki as your #1 wingman and your boyfriend, hearing his words hurt you. 'I don't care about how you feel, y/n!'

Those 8 words burned in the very front of your brain while you tried to sleep, escape from the aching pain.

# - Thursday - 05.30 a.m. - U.A. Class 1-A dorm building - #

You had been wide awake for the past 30 minutes, distracting yourself by getting ready. Brushing your hair, getting dressed in your uniform and doing whatever was left to do. Your appetite was small, but your stomach still craved some food. You opened the door and stepped out, rubbing your tired eyes. You followed the other few classmates on your hall to the elevator.

“Good-morning y/n…” You looked to your right to see Ashido yawning, dark circles under her eyes. “Good-morning Ashido-. Didn’t you sleep?” She leaned back and stretched her arms, her shirt rising a little as the elevator continued moving down slowly. “Not much-, Bakugo was throwing around with stuff all night! Mr. Aizawa had to tell him to keep it down and go to bed. Nobody knows what’s going on with him right now.” She yawned again after finishing off. A little sting poked you in your chest as she spoke before the elevator let out another ‘ding!’. The door opened, revealing Katsuki, Izuku, Tenya and Eijiro at the table. You and Ashido walked towards the table, and both sat down. You sat down beside Tenya, as far away from Katsuki as possible, which was odd. Very odd. Katsuki was frowning more as usual before he angrily got up from the table and violently grabbing his tray of breakfast. You avoided eye contact at all costs. You looked at the tray of food Tenya had pushed towards you. You looked up to see everybody at the table looking at you with various different expressions. Worry, confusion and awaiting. “y/n… What happened?” You looked at Tenya as he spoke. You poked to your food, the appetite you had earlier suddenly disappearing. “Nothin’.” You mumbled before standing up, holding your tray with weak hands. You left the table to the kitchen.

You froze in your tracks as you saw Katsuki in his usual black shirt with the white print on. He was holding his empty tray in his hands as the unfinished food was thrown in the nearest bin. He glared at you before tossing the tray on the counter and leaving the room. You looked after him, tears prickling and threating to escape from your tear-bags. You placed your full tray on the counter before walking back to the common area. Those moments that felt like hours in the kitchen was just a few minutes. Within those minutes, Katsuki had left the dorm and just about everyone else was up and eating. Walking towards the shoe racks, you picked up your shoes and slipped them on. You stepped out the door, already feeling the early morning cold from December. You stepped onto the road leading towards the school and started walking.

"y/n! Wait up!-" You looked behind you, seeing, once again, Eijiro running towards you while clumsily putting on his shoes. "Eijiro?..." You voice was sore from barely talking this morning. Usually, you get along with Tsu and Ashido pretty well, Yaoyorozu too.

Eijiro caught up to you as you both started walking. "Did you hear Bakubro yesterday?" He looked at you, adjusting hid headband. You shook your head. "No. Ashido told me about how Mr. Aizawa had to stop it." You were mumbling, you never mumbled around people like Eijiro. "Hm.. He'll get better. How are you feeling today? Did you get sleep yesterday?" You both reached the front of the school. He opened the door for you as you, once again, shook your head. "Hard time falling asleep?" You nodded at his question as he walked in behind you. "Do you need to talk about anything? I suck at advice but I'm always here to listen!" You nodded, smiling a little bit. You truly were grateful for people who checked up on you like Eijiro did. You both entered the empty classroom.

"Where's Bakubro?" Eijiro looked around, frowning in confusion. "I think her went for a walk or something like that. I don't know, he didn't tell me..." You dozed off as you sat down in your seat. "Tenya should be here soon." You stated as Eijiro sat down, leaning back in his seat. "Tenya is so manly! Taking responsibility to keep the class in line!" You nodded as Eijiro continued to ramble about manliness. Soon, the class was filled up, even Katsuki had shown up.

You were laid over your desk, looking up towards Mr. Aizawa as he spoke. Another practice day. The costumes slid out the wall, everybody standing up to grab their case with their costume.

# - Thursday - 08.27 a.m. - U.A. Gym Gamma - #

"Wow, y/n! Did you choose a new color scheme? It matches Bakugo's!" You looked down at yourself as Ashido, Kamanari and Tokoyami admired your new costume. You nodded at their questions. "I did. I don't know if he likes it." You were mumbling again. Kamanari opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Cementoss.

"Alright, everybody. Pair up in two and try improve your quirks." Everybody nodded and paired up in two. Mezo walked up to you, kindly asking if you wanted to pair up. You nodded as you both walked to one of the platforms. Using you quirk, you made your way up to the platform along with Mezo.

# - Thursday - 10.58 a.m. - U.A. Gym Gamma - #

"T-Ten-... Tentacole-..." You crouched forward, your lungs hurting as you gasped for air. "I-I need a break." Mezo immediately stopped his movements as he noticed your shaking limps. "y/n? Are you okay?-" He runs to you, helping you sit down. "Shit..." Your head started spinning as your breathing became uneven. You could feel Mezo's multiple arms wrap around you to support you.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN WE'RE FIGHTING, SHITTY HAIR!" Eijiro looked away from you and towards Bakugou who was flying towards him. He quickly shielded himself and hardened his arms. "WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN'T LOOK AT ME?" he screamed as he dodged one of Eijiro's hits. He looked away again, Bakugou taking his chance to land a hit on Eijiro. "y/n-" Eijiro fell back as he kept his eyes locked on your small form being supported in Mezo's arms. "y/n? WHAT ABOUT HER?!" Bakugou was furious, letting out all the anger from the night before. He looked around, finding it weird for shitty hair to talk so much about you. His eyes widened as he saw you, knowing what was happening to you just now. He quickly took off in a run. "Y/N!"

You looked up weakly, seeing Katsuki flying towards you. "Katsuki..." You let out a small cry as you tried calming down your breath. Your vision started blurring. "y/n! Squidward get away from her!" Mezo knew better than to talk back. He looked at you before slowly letting go of you as Katsuki ran to you, gently picking you up and into his embrace. "Are you mad?! What the fuck happened-" He didn't look worried but you knew he was. The glint in his eyes showed it. "y/n- breathe. Did you drink and eat? Of course you didn't- you left as soon as you saw me, you little dipshit." He grumbled under his breath as the others started to notice Bakugo screams fading. He picked you up and jumped down, running towards a place to put you down. Cementoss approached you both but you vision was failing you right now.

"What happened?" He looked at the two of you. "She's having a panic attack. Water." Katsuki sat down with you, holding you close. "I'm sorry, firecracker-. I shouldn't have said that-" He held you closer as Cementoss walked out to get you some water. "It's okay-" "No shut up. It's not. Don't fucking say anything." He growls at you as he sits down, leaning against the gym wall and laying you between his legs. He ripped off his big hand gear and threw them beside you both before propping you up against his chest. "Breathe. Breathe you dumb-ass-" he took a deep breath as you tried to follow his breathing pattern. "It's okay. I got you. I won't let anyone, not me either, hurt you." He was whispering now, gently caressing your arm. Cementoss returned with a bottle of water. Katsuki quickly grabbed the bottle and ripped the cap off before gently helping you chug down the water. "We'll wait till lunch. Cementoss, the time." He looked at Cementoss. "It's 11.47. Lunch is in about 15 minutes." Katsuki nodded before he looked back at you. You were blinking slowly, your breathing back to normal now as he lowly talked to you.

"It's okay. I got you. And I'm not letting go of you again, never."

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