#it feels like they didnt even watch the same show as me
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me when i see takes/interpretations of 3 guns show's original anime/characters that i strongly disagree with
#screaming crying its just a show why do i get so fucking riled up over this shit#i need to just never ever ever look at the tags even the most innocuos takes get me stupidly worked up#it feels like they didnt even watch the same show as me#but a lot of ppl going in now having seen new 3 guns show and it has altered their interpreteation of the story#or if they read the 3 guns full comic before watching the orignal show#and comparing it against the both of those things#so they are probably expectign a different show and seeing it as that and not what i saw it as first time around#idk i am making a big deal over somethin inconsequential who fucking care s !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyways sorry for being the annoying fan that everyone hates sorry ill shut up and stop being petty it doesnt matter#maybe im the one whos otu of touch and wrong hahahaha
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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getting into ben 10 is so sad bc I binge the entire OS and am like wow cant wait for more and then every other series doesnt have the things I liked about OS and even casual fans online say that 10yo Ben's character in OS is more compelling than all the others but theres barely any of him after OS
#how did that episode in ultimate alien when it brought back 10yo ben make him 10 times more compelling#but only his 10yo self and not his current self in the show#but fr it was so sad learning that they immediately jumped straight to a 5 year timeskip after OS#plus artstule change plus recast plus major personality shift plus redesign#like looking at alien force ben next to OS ben idk who the hell that is bc thats not ben#its fine like im chill with just being neutral/uninterested in the later series and just sticking with OS#thats the power of fandom#i dislike his omniverse characterization but that doesnt mean i dont love rook#and i wont stick him into OS as a self indulgent au#theres also multiple things i like about the later series for sure tho like#1 rook like i just said but also#ben and gwens relationship. i love that they didnt play around with them in AF#and doom dimension likeee#i dont like how theyre written in AF and UA but that stuff is bomb#i think it all boils down to me wishing the show didnt feel split up in eras with different versions of the characters#and it was more linear#like instead of instant 5 year timeskip it was like. now ben and gwen are 11 or 12. maybe even 13#it shows more development that isnt just a huge jump from 0 to 100#ben getting more mature is the natural progression of his character but also#its the fact that they gave him major development in OS then changed everybody so jarringly they didnt even feel like the same characters#like theres a reason OS ben is the most compelling#it should have been more linear close together and less broken up in my opinion#pandas.txt#they just made ben look so normal and boring in most of the clips ive seen in the later series#plus not even feeling like the same guy#maybe ill try and watch the reboot#it rlly is chill tho bc im fine with just liking OS its a great show#anything i wanted to see i can just think of in my head myself and now i have a bunch of stuff to play around with#once i get more into it#bc this show is so fun and great and i love it i rlly do wanna stick with it
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Look, all these new Star Trek shows seem.... potentially good? But you know what would DEFINITELY be good?
MORE LOWER DECKS
#you cannot take that show away with only 50 episodes to its name!! thats not even three real seasons!#im excited about Tandy Newsom's involvement in the other studd#*stuff#and i love Tig Notaro#but.... Lower Decks. its right there. its great. make more of it!!!!#also i cant help thinking every time they're like “starfleet academy's set is the biggest we ever built” that like#DS9's promenade was probably pitched that way back in the 90s.... and nobody watched it#(yes. now we know it's the best one. but we didnt then.)#it just makes me really skeptical when a SET is your big selling point#this is the franchise that figured out how to tell a million stories in the same cave#and invented the bottle episode#(look yes the promenade is one of the things that makes DS9 amazing and makes it feel so lived in and real. but its ONE of the things.)
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anxiety oh anxiety. why have you come back to me
#the same thing that was happening december last yr after i got sick has started up again#albeit less severely#watching tv shows was weird because even if they were GOOD and i ENJOYED them. bad things happening distressed me to the point of feeling#-physically ill. and other stuff made me anxious too but like#several nights i straight up couldnt fall asleep because i was shaking so hard and felt anxiety-nauseous and anytime i closed my eyes it#-made it WORSE cuz i immediately started thinking MORE about the things that made me anxious#it had faded but now its slightly coming back and it SUCKS#like. its not as bad but its the same stuff. getting anxious to the point of stomach sickness over a tv show. struggling to fall asleep#-because if i close my eyes i think about jt and thinking makes it worse. and anything ELSE i think about isnt that much better#it didnt take me until 9 am to fall asleep ir anything and actually last night i FELL ASLEEP fine#but i woke up at 10 with the anxiety stomach and THEN i struggled to go back to sleep#what the fuck. seriously what the fuck WHY is this happening#magpie thoughts#magpie rants#ITS DEAD BOY DETECTIVES THATS DOING IT TOO AND THAT SUCKS CUZ I RLY LIKE IT AND I WANT TO KEEP WATCHING#BUT MY BRAIN HAS FOR SOME REASON DECIDED 'no. you will feel physically ill when thinking about this show now ❤️'#like WHYYYY
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Happy Birthday to @snoobins !
#Happy birthday!#I really hope you like the collages and edits i made!#i wanted to pay homage to what an artist you are and went on a deep dive down your creations over the years!#even though it was your birthday present#i had a lot of fun just seeing how your gifs have changed and the same with your builds in AC#It was hard choosing what builds to use because i honestly loved all of them! so i limited myself to a color palette of light and dark#then did rainbow for the edit#its my firsr time doing both so i hope they arent underwhelming or anything!#youve supported me a lot in everything I've tried to accomplish but dont always hold yourself to that same standard#i even saw you didnt feel good about your angles in the AC pictures but i thought they were perfect!#they showed off the details of the rooms really well and all the little stuff you might not see otherwise#Anyway#i just had a lot of fun making this and hope you enjoy it just as much watching it!#i wanted to appreciate you here because you're seriously the kindest person i know and if there is anything unconditional in the world#i believe it is your friendship and loyalty#so i want to repay that however i can especially on your birthday when i get to celebrate you being you!#never change and heres to another year together!#i love you so so so much#And thank you just for being the great human you are!#make sure to spoil yourself for me!#(ps if the video or the photo is too grainy i can send it privately)#i want it to be clear i didnt change any of the coloring on your gifs because they're perfect just how they are! i just compiled them!#<3 <3 <3
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feliz jueves i was fucking right
#DISCOVERY I MISS YOU SO MUCH#good god. okay weekly complaint rundown time lmao#1. girl did they save all the lighting budget for the enterprise d????? is that why i’ve had to watch the rest of this season#alongside my reflection in my tv?????#2. back on my wesley bs but like. christ. one of the things that i like most abt disco is how kind and understanding it is of its kidgenius#like adira is AWKWARD and saves the day all the time and everyone around them is kind to them and the show itself is kind to them#which is such a huge contrast to how wesley was treated on tng. by the characters AND the show AND ESPECIALLY the fans#so to have the ‘twist’ only affect bright young people because the fckin adults still need their time to shine?????#feels. WEIRDLY mean-spirited imo. probably not intentional but it doesn’t sit right with me at all#‘fck dem kids fck doing ANYTHING different lets just put the same exact characters on the same exact ship because thats superior’#it didnt even get the style refresh disco’s (and snw’s) enterprise got!!!!#3. this was literally the most obvious route this could go like come onnnnnnnnnnn could you imagine how much extra story#could’ve fit into this season if every episode wasnt half dedicated to nostalgia jerkoff LMAO.#ugh sorry anyways. last one next week!!!!!#f: star trek#trek: shows#trek: picard#picard spoilers#also like. at least we could all agree that s2 was bad LMAO#everyone watching this who is like ‘BEST TREK IN DECADES’ uhhhhhhhhh what are you watching and can i watch too??
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Komi can’t communicate hits a little bit too close to home
#im watching the kyoto trip episode and god did i feel like that every single day of my life#im not even a second choice ik for a fact ppl were disappointed to be paired with me#I remember clear as day when one of my classmates asked the teacher why she was stuck with the weirdo#in my case its not just my imagination i faced sm rejection without even trying to approach ppl#when i was a scout girl i was always with the other girls of my age group and one day they asked me why im following them#i couldnt even cry bc there was no place where i could have privacy on that day#and these are my most vivid memories from my middle school years!#i started hating myself and life as soon as i stepped into that school#before that some ppl would dislike me bc i was a foreigner but then i had other friends i could count on#in middle school I literally had no one#i was weird chubby ugly had extreme social anxiety and didnt even answer ppls questions#life was torture#only two very sweet girls accepted me into their group and i would hang out with them sometimes i was so glad i could hang out with someone#during lunch break or whatever#idk why i went on this tangent!!! but yeah this show is bringing back some stuff man#every scene im like same komi same!!!#now im not super popular or anything but im surrounded by nice ppl who care about me and i love spending time with them even though#sometime i still feel that i cant communicate properly😭#anyways#social anxiety girlies it does get better at some point#i even have the best bf in the world now! before I thought id die alone fr#im not trying to make 100 friends like komi tho i feel like the ones i have are good for now#hfkskg
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Agshagsg my scooby posts on here are always like two sentences and super vague or whatever and then the tags have like a five paragraph meta essay that gets super off topic and into the impact of evolving media and streaming ahfiadhahehsh
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NOT AGAIN AGH 🙈
#anyways highkey considering rewatching goes hollywood teehee#and its all super specific to my own experience ofc. bc i forget that sd for the dootuals (and others!) may not have been a monumental part#of their childhood and their no. 1 interest/favorite thing/obsession for YEARS#like scooby literally helped me learn how to READ. how do i introduce someone to that for the first time ever. how do i convey the enormity#of that.#like how do i show someone the feeling of playing cheesy scooby themed web games on the computer at my grandmothers house. of eating#EXCLUSIVELY scooby fruit snacks (i loved the little blue ones) and playing scooby dominoes and having a toy mystery machine and little toy#gang members that i can STILL see the bite marks on and checking out something for the very first time at my school library in kindegarten#and its a scooby doo comic with batman and wonder woman in it. and being daphne for Halloween (i was always daphne and my brother always#shaggy) and learning to READ and love reading as i TORE through the scooby solve it yourselves at school.#and how i loved watched scooby on boomerang (the old one when it was blue) and would get SO excited when a scooby movie marathon was on#instead of the regular episodes and would sit there for HOURS watching them. and how i always cried whenever we watched zombie island#like in what way can i possibly explain the force of that love to another human being. like where can i even start.#theres no magical order to watching can recreate that. i couldn't even tell someone where to start because ive been loving scooby since#before i can even remember. how can you even begin to share that with someone who didnt have those same experiences?#.......#i did it again didnt i#swishy you need to STOP-#blah
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team plasma arc is still looking like my favorite arc overall bc N has consistently been very good but yikes the last few parts of best wishes really kinda start to fall apart
#i think i still like it a lot but i feel like the writing gets... dumber?#like every episode in this team plasma arc that hasnt had team plasma themselves orN is only Just There feels very weird#one thing i noticed is that iris and cilan keep speaking at the exact same time#and it gives me the vibe of ''oh god we arent secure in these characters anymore so we're gonna reel it in''#and this is a problem throughout bw ofc but yeah ash somehow gets even dumber and its just frustrating to watch#especially with sarah's really bland performance.#i think its also that team rocket is more common again and they just fill up screentime#and they arent even funny so its like i cant even laugh#echoed voice#pokeani lb#and overall the writing just feels more. juvenile? idk if thats the right word bc this is a kids show and all#but it feels a lot more dumbed down. which is weird bc the team plasma arc when it is going is kinda fucked up#iris and cilan also simutanously have less to do and they feel flanderized? like i mentioned iris before but cilans gone back to being borin#maybe thats why i didnt care for him as a kid bc my final impression of him was the declore islands incarnation#idk i feel like the worst aspects of bw are really starting to come out here bc they just didnt know what they wanted to do#like charizard comes back next episode and from what i remember it barely even does anything besides.... be fanservice to OS really#even tho they get rid of seismic toss which was part of why it was so iconic so why did they bother with that even
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#i have nothing to show you so i just chose the last pic in my camera roll to rant#my best friend and i both accidentally posted big ass essays on our favorite indie horror games at the same time#like quite literally at the same time in the middle of the night. almost in the same minute#both of us encouraged others to play our respective fav games because we're extremely enamoured with them so we made a deal#i will play her game if she plays mine. sounds fair and fun#my game is this very philosophical bizzare thing that forces you to think about life and death#despite the gloomy visuals and the tragedy tag its not creepy and/or disgusting at all. i would even say its cozy at times#perhaps this game even warms my heart a little. its called pathologic#her game on the other hand. i dont know what to say about it except that its triggering as fuck#after contacting with such things you want to go into boiling water just to get rid of the palpable dirt on your body do you get what i mean#but no matter how much you try to scrub this dirt off yourself it wont ever come off. because it had grown into your bones#no matter how clean your body and surroundings appear to your eyes the dirt will never really go away#but i guess the thing i talk about is not the game itself but the things i went through that it reminds me of#perhaps i just described the triggering process#i didnt even play the game i just read the summary and watched a little of a gameplay but it made me physically nauseous#when im forced to witness some form of abuse without being able to do anything all i feel is rage. not even a hint of sympathy or sadness#this is dumb. i dont get it. why would you willingly want to witness... this. is it some sort of a kink or something#its called mouthwashing if you're interested#i get the symbolysm and all that but dude. i guess this tells a lot about our society#i told her i hate her game and she told me she hates mine so i guess it makes the two of us#we're so different in almost every possible aspect possible but at the same time so painfully similar to each other#but not gonna lie if a person i just met told me this is their fav game i won't talk to them willingly ever again#this rant doesnt really have a purpose i think i just got really surprised this thing triggered me this much#so i got uncomfortable and decided to ground myself in this safespace
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ah i could not help myself. checked onk for a detail on the movie arc and ended up rereading the entire movie arc, then bit the bullet and read up to current. not as many chapters as i thought considering how long ago i was "caught up" and that onk is a weekly?? i guess there were breaks. almsot made me think it was a monthly series. with how little there was
tbh if i had waited til the end of the year that would have been perfect. it rly seems like there are not many chapters left. even where i left off tho, it was enough where again i wasn't dying to know what happened next, so i can wait for it to finish if it finishes this year :) maybe spoiler-y rant in tags for past 5-6 chapters
#idk if i have a read tag but will add later if so#i was rly checking for the kana/akane convo at the beach#that both fulfilled me and sucked my soul out of my body for the second time now#i am happy for kana but my poor yuri heart wanted akane to say smth in light to kana essentially saying 'you are my ideal type'#even if kana didn't reciprocate i think it would be amazing for akane's character#if she could acknowledge she may have feelings for kana or could reciprocate if kana actually felt that way#what i rly wanna say tho is the akane fake-out was so good#i already cant recall bc time blurs but when she shwoed up to the miyazaki concert i knew smth was up#bc the past few times shes been at a place has been bc of ulterior motives#but i cant place the timeline now and i dont wanna go at it again#akane said she couldnt make the tokyo concert but that she survived seeing kana perform#so i wonder if the attempted murder happens on the 2nd concert day?#but it made the b komachi performance seem like the gradn finale#like kamiki was watching live and the stabbing took place at the same time#but if ruby already left to rehearse and akane was there then it was miyazaki concert no??????#but then akane saw them oerform so....... day 2??????#also i rly loved the line about 'being born a twin' for a reason that was so gold#i skimmed a lot of the latter half that didnt half to do w the movie directly#but i do remember from the first time how aqua embraced being himself and not gorou and saw ruby as his sister#and was rly truly letting go of his past self to live life (prior to kana date chapter i think???)#and now this/// the current few chapters#really poetic also why i think theyre in miyazaki bc ti aqua#it would be poetic justice for him to die and be reborn and die again in the same (general) place#idk how hes gonna get outta this one but i'll wait and see in ful#also aaaaaa along w the twins line... him wanting to call miyako mom!!!#and ruby's face in that panel was cute#cant decide if it was surprise or joy or both?? but she's in the bg to show some reaction#i hope the end of the year is enough time to finish#if i get bored i might... take a shot at the kana/akane convo of my dreams
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first part of the ii2 finale is out already ………. terrified
#im waiting to watch it w my sister hopefully i can avoid spoilers#i was hoping my brother could watch it w us too but literally as i was going over to ask him he had it pulled up in one window while playin#roblox on another 💀#the bit he was on was just a clip that was already in the trailers so i didnt get spoiledbut i am a little sad we cant all watch it togethe#hes the whole reason i even got into object shows afterall#oh well maybe we can figure smthn out w the rest of the finale#inquisitivewaltz.txt#it still doesnt feel real to me honestly like. wow. its ending finally#not to be sappy but ii2 meant a lot to me when i was going through some of the worst years of my life#so even if its not the same and it has had a lot of issues over the past few years and ive lost interest. idk it feels surreal that its#ending now like its actually happening.
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we had fun tho the whole family hung out and we did some sporclee and chronophoto and then globle me n lamp nd father did globle bc mein mamma went to sleep. yay :]
#nd i think tmrw or something like that me n my mom will finish off 13s run in de#which im excited for bc im rly excited to get to 15 bc my mom loves it and im excited to be caught up so we cn talk abt everything#i am a bit bummed i ws rly hoping 2 like 13s seasons better this time around.. but i didnt :[ just the writing didnt come together 4 me and#i feel like the companions weren't developed much at all#and im famously a timeless child hater like i think its stupid for the dr to be the timeless child. like if there hss to be a timeless child#Fine ig its a fine origin story its kind of a like. answering a question nobody asked thing#where like. yk. i was fine with the tjme lords judt having regeneration#but mein mamma told me that they like drop all that and it is Nottt mentioned again eith the new writers which is so funny#the blessing and the curse new writers. bc the blessing is if there was a writing decision i dont like The new writers will completely#abandon it and go do their own shit. the downside is they do the same for things i do like#missy what happeneddd like where. UGH we cant even get into it i miss my princess so badly it hurts#ik we like. saw her die im just like. bc this master was not at all like.. it just doesnt feel like a continuation at all#my moms theory is he might actually be an earlier incarnation of the master since they never actually specify. nd then i was checking the#wiki and rheres some weird stuff like. missy forcing all of her Good parts to regenerate into some other lady and then like.#idk it just said that. so idk if that implies the bad parts regenerated into like. evil master... i dont know. but wtvr. im excited#and a little birdie told me donnaaaaa will be baaaaaaaaackkkkkk which is the best thing that could ever happen to me im SO excited. my#friend donna#i like that like. i like getting new companions inlike when companions dont overstay their welcome cough cough. clara. but i do love seeing#companions come back like sry it does get me everytime im always like My friend my friend my friend. yk. i just love to seeing them again...#oh i got distracted. i was gonna say i rly dislike the dr being the timeless child bc i rly like when the dr is judt like. a guy. gender#neutral my mom laughed at me bc i said rhat earlier and went That sounded like im complaining abt hrr being a woman. im noy#THATS WHY I WANTED 2 LIKE HER LIKE. im so bummed that the first female dr is the one with In my opinion the weakest writing. like fml. tho i#havent seen any of the older stuff so idk... just from 9 onwards is what iiiiive got going.#but ya. i ws so worried voicing my criticisms to my mom bc i ws worried i ws just being a hater or nitpicky#but my mom agreed with me on a lot and ya. i rly like discussing stuff w my mom even tho im almodt positive i annoy her sometimes bc i get#too busy discussing my theories and being like And what about this and i get distracted from the show where theyrelike#explainjng somrthing jm asking abt. JFBFJFNT#i judt love discussion. and its tly fun to talk abt it with my mom :] yay#like ikit snnoys ppl when someone talks while watching smth or theorizes while watching smth lr asks questions that will be answered#but lke its my fav part of watching things w ppl 😭😭😭 im fr the yapperrr
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I have also realized that I need a partner that has two things: likes spending time out in nature, and likes watching anime (or at least doesn't mind it)
If they're unable to properly engage with me with those things, it just ain't gonna work
#speculation nation#doesnt have to be my raring interest in them bc i know not everyone grew up in nature to the same degree i did#and not everyone can match my basically lifelong anime nerd vibes.#but if it feels like it's a chore to u to do these things with me... is that really sustainable?#that Was a concern of mine with recent ex. we made do via trading off engaging in each other's interests#but there really was such little overlap there that i sometimes was a little clueless what to do when we spent time together#it was like... watching shows and having sex... and then what?#i couldnt engage with her about narrative themes on Anything bc she really didnt care about narrative themes#i could info dump but it's more fun if theres engagement ykno????#so anyways thats why i need someone who's able to watch anime with me and actually care about the anime.#opening up girlfriend applications like 'Requirement: Baseline interest in anime and/or narrative themes!'#or rather. i'll just be keeping it in mind when im looking for a new partner 😂#maybe bring up media interests early on so i know whether theyre into any shows at all.#doesnt even have to be anime (so long as theyre still willing to watch it with me) if they at least care about characters and themes#it's such a big part of my life that it's stifling to not be able to actually talk about it.#so that's something i learned! that is something i learned.#also i always wanna go hiking and whatever so i Cannot date someone who doesnt like nature.#u gotta join me for a 3 hour walk in the woods sometimes and you gotta LIKE it!!!!!!#just aint sustainable otherwise.
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EXPAND ON THIS
https://www.tumblr.com/tojisun/758472884430716928/no-matter-how-hard-you-try-you-just-cant-make
AND MY LIFE IS YOURS
aww im glad that u (all) liked that blurb!! didnt expect the vitriol in ur guys’ reactions but ykw? samesies <3 oki uhh so heres something quick and simple
cw: fivesome (but they go in order, also simon doesnt properly get a turn im sorry 😞); f!reader; subspace; builds up into consensual noncon; unrealistic sex; rambly as hell and its set up messily; wc is 3.6k :’3
(you tell them it’s a wrong send, and that it’s meant for johnny so they all said, “oh damn. welp,” and leaves you and johnny to go at it all night long teehee <33) (jk) (unless) (no ok im jk)
johnny fucks you first. the guys didn’t complain, and trickled into your room, ready to fall to whatever place they could sit down to watch. johnny laughs, and tugs you towards him, gently slapping your hand away when you try to cover yourself up with your shirt, and tells them, “watch me.”
not us, but me. like you’re a nameless hole whose only worth is to be fucked, and somehow that… doesn’t deter you at all.
instead, you ignore the warmth flooding in your cheeks and the stares that drag on your body, and focused on johnny’s smirk and his crooning words and his wide palms roving over whatever sliver of your skin he can touch. he positions himself in between your legs, his fatigues an uncomfortable sensation against your oversensitive skin.
he doesn’t care. he drags down his zipper and frees his cock from his briefs, before swiping his palm on the inside of your thigh, gathering the excess lube glistening there to use it as oil for his prick. your nose scrunches when he brings his hand to give himself a quick tug, foreskin peeling from the head to show off how flushed it is.
he crawls until he’s on top of you, and throws out, “let me show ye how to fuck ‘er, yes?”
you don’t even realize the words are for the rest of the squad because he’s already slipping his cock in your cunt, slow and careful, and you keen because yessss—
this is the delicious burn you’ve wanted. oh god oh god—
it didn’t even take johnny long before you’re cumming, your throat spasming at the scream that rips itself out from within you. your hips rise from the bed, your body jolting, unable to ground itself at the breaking euphoria that forced shockwaves to raze your synapses.
you fall on the bed limply, satiation filling you up in lapping waves. johnny pulls out and fucks his fist and sprays his cum all over your stomach. he musses it up, rubbing his palm against it like it’s a damn lotion, and lathers whatever inch of your belly he can cover.
it’s gross and weird, especially as the recollection that you’ve had an audience hits you, but then johnny’s stepping back and moving away. you try to shut your legs close, but someone’s already shuffling in, taking up the space that johnny had carved out.
you stare up at your captain, shock filling you up. he doesn’t ask with words but he quirks his brow up, waiting, and you don’t know what it is, but you give him a nod before ducking your head to the side.
which was a mistake, you learn, because you make eye contact with kyle; kyle who is—was—slowly rubbing himself through his pants, his palm gliding over his chub. his eyes are blown wide and he looks ravenous as he meets your gaze.
you hiccup, feeling cornered and delighted at the same time, but then john’s rubbing his cock along your messy folds, using the mess you and johnny made to lube himself up, and you mewl, tearing your eyes away from kyle to meet john’s stare head on.
he looks… calm. not teasing nor hungry, but poised with forced grace like this is another mission, and he has willed his full body to sync together so that not even a stray strand of hair will falter and miss a beat.
you don’t know how to position that with yourself, not like you needed to dwell on it any further because john’s already thrusting in. like johnny, he is careful, but he is more cautious, pushing inch by inch without even a ragged breath like he’s scoping out your reaction before he could let out his.
god, why’s everything so difficult with him—even now, speared with his cock, you still don’t know how to react. it’s like you’re a recruit all over again, dawdling underneath your CO’s scrutiny. it’s jarring, terrifying, really, but then john’s drooping onto you, his head tipping down to nuzzle close to your jaw, and this level of intimacy is what rips a moan out of you. it is drawn out and high-pitched, and so, so utterly debauched.
you hear more than see john’s pleased laugh, his breaths coming out in puffs that brush against your neck in a ticklish manner. the moment drags on—nuzzles and quiet huffs, and slow rocks of his hips almost like he’s taking his time to savour you; to allow you to get used to his size because he’s so different from johnny.
johnny is thick, but john is long. he is reaching deeper than you have ever known, and it’s so overwhelming that you begin to cling to him, in need of any way to ground yourself down from the slow-racing pleasure.
you don’t know how long he’s got you like that, but then he’s pulling back and away, and, “nonono, please. please, sir—”
“shh, i’ve got you,” he rumbles, still so utterly quiet that it forces out the tears faster, and you know something’s changed because john is looking at you with a proud smile, all tactile as he manhandles you to your side, before disappearing behind you. you feel your head being lifted then dropped onto something harder than your pillow, and it is only the smell of ozone that lets you know that john had pillowed your head with his arm, while the other snakes around your waist to pull you closer to him.
you stare at the expanse of your room but everything looks like they’re appearing underneath a hazy filter, so you blink your eyes to clear them from that mist but it remains unchanged. you feel heavy, all of sudden, like you’re submerged in water, wading through the ripples. floating.
you try to look at the others but all you see are blurs of colours, and you know this should terrify you, you know something’s happening in your mind, but you feel so good. so happy. so you fold into yourself, accepting the haze with a keen because john’s fucking back into you.
it is still so utterly gentle, like love-making, and this makes you sob because the euphoria is dizzying and overwhelming. it is something you haven’t felt before—johnny fucks you like a man starved; john fucks you like he’s trying to meld himself into you. or you into him.
it is so drastically different, and you were made to navigate the changing tides. but you can’t, not when john—
“fuck!” you scream, thrashing in his hold, but john ignores your voice as his heavy hand falls on your cunt with consistent smacks.
you feel lightheaded, untethered, and this is what pushes you to the edge. your orgasm is cataclysmic. it’s like having the fabrics of your reality collide until you are a supernova, bright and burning and so, so, so ecstatic.
you don’t even know how you came down from that high, but when you wake up, john’s already pulled out and your thighs feel extra sticky. you sniffle, turning to accept the quick kiss he leaves on your cheek. he pulls away and you watch him sink back to the lone chair in your room, and only then do you realize he’s still in his uniform. still in the fatigues.
it makes you extra vulnerable somehow and you twist, trying to find anything to cover yourself with, but your shirt’s been thrown to the floor, far from your reach, and your blankets were kicked off the bed.
you grumble, shyness encroaching again now that there’s no one to monopolize your attention, but a movement from the corner of your eyes makes you jolt. you turn, forcing your eyes to focus, and you blink in surprise because you are sure that kyle wasn’t there before—close to your shelving that is stuffed with little knickknacks and souvenirs brought to you by the boys when they take on separate missions that don’t require your involvement.
the same shelving where you’ve plopped your charging vibrator on. the very same one that is being held up by kyle.
“kyle?” you ask, unable to say any more with how wrecked your voice has become. but the call echoes like a gunshot in the suddenly stifling room, and they all look at you as one. like it didn’t matter if kyle was the one holding the wand because they all knew what they want, and it is to see you be fucked with it.
excitement fills you up despite the throbbing exhaustion settling in your bones, and you wonder if they could scent it with the way the pressure in the room grows heavy, almost bladed—ice shards against still waters.
kyle moves towards you and your eyes track the wand, almost hypnotized by it, and watch as he drops it on the mattress to shuck off his clothes. it is only then do you turn to him, hungry in the way you devour how he moves, how he breathes, how he unbuckles his belt.
his trousers come first, then his shirt. kyle is a catastrophic wonder—seeing him naked like this makes your core throb, aching need stretching in the yawning of your stomach, because he is so beautiful, terrifyingly so.
he reaches for your waist and drags you so you’re laying on your back again, your legs sprawled out on either side of his hips. he looks down at you, his eyes crinkled in his smile. he looks so charming, boyish and youthful, and he makes you thrum with quiet desire because you feel safe even when you’re bare before him.
you feel particularly cherished, like you are the apple of his eye.
“you’ve been so good to us, love,” he murmurs, but in the silence of everyone, his voice bounces off the walls, seeping into where the others are, watching raptly once again.
you nod, not knowing what else to say. kyle chuckles, the sound trickling like quiet chimes, and you wonder if he’s doing this for you—talking to you in whispers to give your body time to come down from the tremors, or filling you up with something other than a cock because johnny had come in scathing, and john had pierced you with something consuming, and kyle—
kyle is trying to distract you.
you’ve forgotten about the toy, sitting there so innocently. it’s out of your reach, tucked preciously close to kyle’s left leg the way he treats all his smaller guns—never straying beyond his person, and hovering close. you’ve once asked him if it wasn’t more comforting to have it on him where he can feel its weight and kyle had looked at you with that soft smile like you’ve uttered something so delightful, before telling you, “there’s a certain pleasure in having it displayed.”
like a promise and an assurance—he will always be faster; the one who is more in control.
and today, kyle is treating the wand with the same vehemence.
you didn’t even know you were already shaking your head until kyle had cupped your cheek, quiet sounds of comfort rumbling from his chest.
“don’t worry,” he says, eyes blazing with a terrifying promise. “all good girls have to be rewarded.”
kyle doesn’t fuck you with his cock right away; instead, he’d bent over and took a nipple into his mouth. it makes you gasp, back arching at every wet suck. there is pleasure to derive, but it is so muted that you begin to settle back into your mattress, waiting, almost in bated breath because kyle has yet to reach for the wand.
you jolt when he finally uses his hands, stomach tensing in anticipation. but still, kyle doesn’t reach for it, and instead he swipes a finger to your slit. your pussy’s still so sensitive so it makes you buck, a sharp animalistic sound tearing from your throat, and kyle takes advantage of the sudden change in the pace.
he slips in two fingers in your cunt, curling to poke at your walls, before fucking them out—he lifts up and sucks your other nipple—and punching them back in. it’s a wet slide, each thwaps ring in your head, and you moan, clawing at kyle’s back because how could he make you feel good just like this?
it’s almost a laughable parallel—just an hour ago, you had been in the same position, with your legs parted open and two fingers fucking in, while your other hand flicks at your nipples because you had so desperately wanted any form of orgasm. god, it didn’t even need to feel ecstatic, just something that’d rip your aching need into quiet tides. and now here you are, spread open with kyle mirroring every flick of his fingers and every pinching sensation on your nipples, and he is making you feel good.
how dare he. how dare he give you unadulterated pleasure with just his fingers? how could you ever go back to masturbating now that he’s even triumphed over your previous failures, showing your body that there are ways to make your toes curl without a cock nor a toy?
how dare he—
“no!” you whine, circling your hand around his wrist when he pulls out. you were so close; its tendrils spreading all over your body in the wake of your encroaching orgasm. you thought you were going to be rewarded? kyle promised. he said so!
“oh, love,” kyle coos, breaking through the swirling turmoil in your head. “i’m not done yet, i promise.”
you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the sob that is lodged in your throat as you watch kyle give his cock a pump before lining it up with your cunt. unlike johnny and john—and the reminder that they’re there, with simon, makes you jolt for a quick second—kyle doesn’t press in slow nor gentle.
no.
kyle punches everything in. you scream, the sound guttural as you are filled so quickly and so deeply, leaving you to feel the sudden crescendo of your pleasure. your body spasmed—because there was nothing else that could explain the sensation of having all your synapses sing with a ripping pleasure—before you black out for a second.
you come to the feeling of kyle’s hand mapping your belly, digging just enough that his fingers dimple your skin. you are still stretched and stuffed, and the remnants of your pleasure fire up again.
he flicks his eyes up to you with a smile. “came so soon f’r me, love.”
your only response is a gurgle. it makes kyle laugh.
“that must mean y’r ready for something else, yeah?”
a confused whimper bubbles from your throat. kyle just snaps his hips in reply, rendering your mind shut again. you hear him shuffling against the sheets, his free hand reaching for something you cannot see, and you feel your mind pressing at its edges, trying to retrieve the memory of what it is he is looking for because you know what it is, you’re sure.
buzzing noises fill your ears, the sound ricocheting around the space, and your body locks, recollection slamming into you. you tear your gaze away from the far wall to look at kyle.
you wonder what your face must’ve looked like because kyle begins to croon.
“i’ve seen this from a homemade porn video.” he shrugs at the incredulous expression on your face. “and i’ve always wanted to try it because sweetheart, they didn’t press it on her clit.”
what—
kyle moves, his body rippling with ease. you don’t notice but the boys crowd in, interest bright in their eyes. only ghost continues to be rooted in his spot, and it is only his head tipping to the side that lets the others know he’s just as interested.
kyle presses the toy on your belly. your nose scrunches in displeasure because it just feels like you’re being massaged incorrectly, but he keeps shifting, hunting, and it’s weird because kyle’s still in you so what—
you gasp, eyes widening at the odd sensation. kyle freezes, his body curling into something predatory, and digs your wand there on your—
“no way,” johnny laughs, and you want to snarl at him to go away but you can’t because he’s right.
no way.
kyle had pressed the vibrating bulb of your toy just below your belly and slightly before your upper pelvic area—kyle had pressed the toy on your womb.
the pleasure is new, uncharted, and it is petrifying because you’ve never felt this way before. you didn’t even know it was possible to stimulate yourself there, but kyle’s already resuming the pace he’d set, fucking his cock in deeply almost like he wants to feel the buzz from within.
you begin to sob but the tears feel different this time. they’re still out of pleasure, but the swirling surprise melts the euphoria into something frightening. you don’t even realize you’ve begun to babble.
“no more!” you hiccup, weak fists thumping against kyle’s chest only to be restrained by john and johnny, each man pushing them down with their own hands.
everything feels too scary, all of a sudden. this pleasure of yours is bigger than you have ever expected and it’s building up too fast and too soon, and still, kyle remains unfazed.
“i’m scared! i’m scared, kyle please!”
your words turn into unintelligible warbles, and kyle just says how you are so adorable like this.
“y’r pussy’s going stir crazy, baby,” he croons amidst your tears and you want to scream at him, to be mad and say something mean, but you feel so utterly lost in the bubbling bliss.
it is something you’ve never felt before; it’s almost like you are relearning your body at this very moment—like kyle is unmaking you, and remodelling you, and you feel this cathartic bloating of your orgasm.
kyle sees the moment you succumbed to the enveloping terror of your euphoria, and it’s like he’s been waiting for this moment because he begins to fuck you faster. deeper. his pelvis meets the plush of your ass with every thrust, while he digs the toy further down your flesh.
how could the vibrations ripple past the fat, you don’t know, but your orgasm is building, peaking—
it breaks with another scream tearing from your lungs. this one is much stronger than the previous ones, and enveloping because it feels like your whole body has shut down in the wake of your release.
your mind splinters, your body falling limp like your strings have been cut loose, and kyle turns forgiving again because he shuts the toy down and throws it away. he pulls out and only then do you feel the trickle of his cum sliding out of you.
he leans in, brushing his nose over your cheek. then, “just one more, little bird.”
kyle slides off the bed, but so do john and johnny, and you hiccup, still sobbing, still floating from the world-shattering climax, when simon greets you.
he is quiet for a while, watching as you catch your breath. you couldn’t even stop yourself from sniffling, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes to stain your already blotchy cheeks. he grunts, hand falling to brush unimaginably soft touches across your body, observing.
waiting.
“was’it?” you finally bite out because you know simon—you know ghost—and there is something that’s sitting on the tip of his tongue that he so desperately wants to spit out.
simon grumbles, rolling his eyes.
you groan, growing impatient. “tell m’.”
but he still doesn’t talk, choosing instead to manhandle your body until it is close to him. you want to tell him to give you a minute; that you’re still so sore and tired, and kyle just fucked you mindless that you need a goddamn break, so, “s’mon, no…”
he grunts, palming along your waist, then your hips, before it stops on the fat of your ass. he grabs a handful.
“won’t you let me fuck this hole instead,” simon finally replies.
your heart lurches to your throat, and you’re not the only one surprised because johnny’s bounding in close, excited, chatting simon’s ear how he wants to go next, “please, LT?”
you want to tell him to ask you, not simon, but simon’s already giving his assent with a huff, chirping how johnny’s so impatient—a master and his dog—before they turn to you again.
it is only then do you realize that simon hadn’t been asking for proper permission; it was all formalities because he was not going to settle for anything that isn’t yes.
anal sex hasn’t been something you are really interested in; no amount of porn and online anecdotes can change your mind, but simon’s gaze is heavy. it’s final.
before you can even reply, john’s already throwing something to simon. he catches it with ease, and only when simon flicks his hand do you recognize it to be the lube you’ve chucked away in your anger when this whole night started. kyle returns with the wand.
you lay there, on simon’s lap, seeing them flanking you for this… corrupting.
“okay,” you muster, trying to stake even a semblance of control.
thankfully, they ignore the shaking of your fists or the way your chest begins to heave in your morbid anticipation. simon laughs, and swoops down to nip your cheek.
“good girl.”
whew whyd it become a long ramble of smut??? it was supposed to be a john n johnny centric fucking bc of the prelude but alas, i needed to write a semblance of dark!kyle so here we are <3
temp taglist bc yall are animals (affectionate)!!!: @getosuguswhore @slut-lmao @mxtokko @imjusthereforkonig @bratzdolly4 @mabelwinters @stars4sar @sergeant-jasper @spiceywawa @j0r-d1e
#suns#task force 141#task force 141 x reader#cod x reader#cod smut#johnny soap mactavish#johnny soap mctavish x reader#john price#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz garrick x reader#simon ghost riley
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