#it even worked for him EARLIER IN THE SEASON

[bettys-redwinesupernova]

BLOWING SMOKE

rafe cameron x fem!reader

SUMMARY: after rafe betrays her trust, y/n exposes his lies at a party, humiliating him in front of everyone—and walking away without looking back.

based on this ask !! i hope it’s what you asked for anon, sorry it’s not super soul-crushing but it’s very angsty and includes cheating >:( fuck cheaters !!

(check out my other rafe cameron & drew starkey works here !!)

WARNINGS: cheating, angst w/ no happy ending, allusions to sex, alcohol consumption, cursing, bad bitch!reader, asshole!rafe, mentions of daddy issues, reader finally putting rafe in his place, i’m thinking season 1/2 rafe because he was a cocky little shit🙄 (lmk if i missed anything !!)

WORD COUNT: 1.2k

THIRD PERSON +

The air at the Boneyard was thick with salt and sweat, the bonfire crackling like a living thing, casting long shadows over the shifting sand. Laughter and music mixed with the sound of waves crashing against the shore, the party in full swing. But Y/N wasn't here for fun.

Her grip on the red solo cup was tight, knuckles white from how hard she was holding it. The drink inside had gone warm, untouched. It wasn't why she came.

She was here for Rafe.

Her heart wasn't racing anymore. The initial sting of betrayal had settled into something colder, something sharper. She had spent days, weeks, pretending not to notice the whispers, the way people looked at her with pity. She had ignored the concerned glances from JJ, the hesitance in Pope's voice when he said, "Maybe you should talk to Sarah." She had brushed off Kie's sighs, the way she muttered, "You're not gonna like what you hear."

She had known. Deep down, she had known.

And then Sarah had confirmed it.

"I didn't want to tell you," Sarah had said earlier that evening, voice low, like she could somehow soften the blow. "But you deserve better. Rafe's been seeing other girls, Y/N. He's been lying to you."

Lying. Cheating. Playing her for a fool.

And then she had seen it with her own eyes.

Rafe Cameron, her Rafe, the boy who had spent countless nights tangled up with her, whispering things he swore he meant—his hands were on another girl. Blonde, pretty, giggling at something he said while he leaned in just a little too close.

And suddenly, all the times he'd shown up late, all the unexplained disappearances, the half-hearted apologies, they made sense.

She had been so fucking stupid.

But Y/N felt nothing now. No heartbreak, no regret. Just ice-cold clarity.

Rafe Cameron had walked into her life when she was at her weakest, slipping through the cracks her ex had left behind. He had smiled, kissed her, whispered things that felt too easy, too smooth. It was never supposed to be anything real, just something casual, just a way to forget. But then it had changed.

He had changed.

Late-night conversations that lasted until dawn. Foreheads pressed together, words left unspoken. His arms around her waist, his voice low when he admitted, "I don't do this, but with you..."

Lies. All of it.

And now, she was going to make sure everyone knew exactly what kind of person Rafe Cameron really was.

She spotted him easily—he was impossible to miss. A walking ego dressed in an expensive polo shirt, short sleeves clinging to his toned biceps. A sight that would usually make her knees weak—not anymore. He was laughing with his friends, head thrown back, completely unaware of the storm heading his way.

Y/N pushed through the crowd, ignoring the murmurs, the knowing glances.

"Rafe."

Her voice cut through the music, through the party.

He turned, blue eyes locking onto hers. For a split second, there was something unreadable in his expression—maybe surprise, maybe guilt. But then it was gone, replaced by that familiar smirk, the one he always wore when he thought he could charm his way out of anything.

"Baby," he drawled, tilting his head. "Didn't think you'd show."

"Yeah?" She took another step forward, voice sharp. "Well, I had a few things I wanted to say to you."

Something in her tone made the smirk slip.

"Tell me, Rafe," she continued, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Is she prettier than she was on the internet?"

A hush fell over the crowd. Conversations died. Even the music felt quieter.

Rafe's brows furrowed. "What?"

"You heard me." She crossed her arms. "You've been screwing around, haven't you?"

Murmurs spread through the party, people shifting closer, drawn to the unfolding scene like moths to a flame.

Rafe let out a short laugh, but it wasn't confident—it was forced. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Bullshit."

Her voice was steady. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't break. Not for him.

"You knew my last love let me down," she said, tone cutting. "It was your one perfect opening, wasn't it? You saw me hurting, and you thought, why not? You wanted something easy. Someone easy. And the moment it stopped being fun for you, the moment it got real, you did what you always do. You ran."

Rafe's jaw clenched. "Y/N, stop."

"No." She took a step closer, her voice unwavering. "You don't get to tell me what to do. You're just a spoiled little bitch with daddy issues, aren't you? You think money fixes everything, that you can get away with anything. But you know what, Rafe? You just look stupid."

Someone in the crowd—JJ, probably—let out a low whistle.

"You look stupid going out," she continued, her voice rising. "If she's got a pulse, she meets your standards now. It's pathetic."

Rafe's face darkened, but he said nothing. Because he knew she was right.

"You couldn't point her out in any crowd, could you?" Y/N's voice was mocking now, full of venom. "She doesn't matter. None of them do. They're just distractions, just more girls to help you bury the baggage you've been carrying."

A few gasps echoed through the crowd. Even Topper, standing nearby, looked disappointed.

"Man," Topper muttered, shaking his head. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah," JJ piped up, crossing his arms. "I mean, we all knew you were an asshole, but even for you, this is low."

Rafe's hands curled into fists at his sides. "Shut the fuck up, Maybank."

"Or what?" JJ grinned. "You gonna hit me? Take your anger out on someone else because you can't handle the truth?"

Pope, standing next to Kie, shook his head. "She deserves better."

Sarah, arms crossed, looked at her brother with something like disgust. "You don't even look sorry."

Y/N let out a cold laugh. "Of course he doesn't. Because he's not." She turned her gaze back to Rafe. "You know what the sad part is? I actually believed you. I actually thought, maybe this time, it's different. But it never is, is it?"

Rafe opened his mouth, then closed it, unable to find the words.

Y/N took one last step forward, lowering her voice just enough that only he could hear. "I'll say what they won't, Rafe. I know everything they don't. And I see you for exactly what you are."

He swallowed, throat bobbing. For the first time all night, he looked truly unsettled.

Good.

Without another word, Y/N lifted her drink—still untouched—and, with the sharpest satisfaction, poured the entire thing over his head.

Gasps. Laughter. Cheers.

Rafe stood there, drenched, humiliated, and for the first time in his life—completely powerless.

Y/N turned away, not sparing him another glance. She walked past the crowd, past the Pogues, past the remnants of something that had never been real.

She didn't cry. She didn't look back.

And as she disappeared into the night, Rafe Cameron realised—too late—that he had just lost the only person who had ever truly seen him.

(divider by @kodaswrld !!)

betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

i hope this was somewhat what you asked for anon !! if not, feel free to drop another request with specifics and i’d be so happy to write that :)

editing the few drafts i have so i can upload them asap !! just in case anybodies wondering why i’m uploading so much, it’s because i have pre-written some of these requests form weeks ago and have only just gotten around to editing them :)

[wilderhyperfoxations]

Chains of Eternity- my biased, terrible little review

This will include spoilers, so you've been warned. Although I like this game (my tumblr and even this post are a testament to that) sometimes things you like can fall short. So, let's get into my various critiques of COE. The start of the story felt pretty strong. I do wish we saw Valen, BECAUSE WHERE IS THAT MAN, but sure, right. I felt like there were too many side characters during the first few quests, and this trend continues through the whole arc. I really liked Faramor… so where the hell did he go? He sort of disappeared without much of an explanation. He had no character development, or it simply wasn't portrayed in a cohesive way. But his VA was very good. Also, controversial, but while I did enjoy Lorsan's cameo- it did not add anything. Same with half the characters this season, they really came out of nowhere, and could have been utilized in a more interesting way. The whole immortality talk also felt unconvincing- sure it's bad but if you're really afraid of death it's a small price to pay, and you'll watch people die even if you're mortal, so… weak argument there. Cyran. God, Cyran, they barely used him, too. Which I really wished they did. Also the King/Duke(?) was kind of barely there. They did nail Yolena and made the ending that much more WHAT THE FUCK. There were some bigger overarching issues, such as: Structural issues, Promise, payoff, Setup, Too much fluff, Pacing, Lore. Structural issues- the story structure did not feel sound nor satisfying due to the lack of promise at the start and the lack of payoff at the end (ex.- in WOI, it's "Merlin wants to leave Rustport, Sinbad wants to be a Captain, Sonja wants to kill her dad" and all of those things come true and make a satisfying story). This is pretty much the same as "setup"- there was not much of that. Too much fluff- too many characters and frivolous parts that I felt could be trimmed. Most characters could be cut out and the story would still work. Pacing- unlike WOI, which felt like it lasted ages, or even the first few storylines that were pretty even, this one was choppy. The start dragged and then the end sprinted. The whole thing whizzed past me and there I was, left befuddled. Lore- confusing! In the story not much is elaborated on, but then in some heart-to-heart's there are comments on why graveborns were made that… actually make no sense, or are unsupported by the wider narrative. How would they improve this? Honestly. Just more editing and more time. This one must've been rushed, or something, because WOI was stellar for any game (and again Sinbad's VA was FIRE, nothing stood out to me this time). And if I were to edit this story, I'd introduce Valka earlier, and give her some clearer goal than just "am sad, don't deserve your praise, blah". State it more clearly that she wishes she could make things right. And the villain, who I neglected to mention- all villains besides the WOI ones have been last-minute. Cryonaia was intimidating, but, she was… not setup. If the story spoke of her earlier, or incorporated her into some legend, her reveal would mean more. Otherwise she's just another hypogean. Also, what was her goal? What was she trying to do? Who the fuck knows. I found her vibe unclear. Tell me if I missed something, but I do doubt I missed anything major. Altogether, if this was a book, I'd give it a 2 or 3 stars for "you tried and you almost got here but your editor must've been drunk and passed out for months or something".

[vettelsvee]

COME WHAT MAY | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ ACT I: LOSS OF MY LIFE [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

come what may masterlist | formula 1 masterlist

Red Bull Sebastian Vettel x Red Bull intern & Webber girlfriend!Reader

SUMMARY: During 2010 RB6 presentation and preseason testing, Mark starts acting quite weird with you. To your surprise, Webber gives some opinions on your work that start making you overthink, even when Seb tries his best to calm you down. You know 2010 season is going to be a hell when Webber asks to have a private conversation with Christian Horner and Helmut Marko.

WORD COUNT: 3695

WARNINGS: Angst, curse words and bad language, toxic relationships involving mental abuse and manipulation, such a toxic Mark Webber, mentions of death and suicide

TAGLIST: @hc-dutch @raavadakedavra @coffeedestroyingperson @evey-kuznetskova @bowielovesyou @chaoswithus @isotopemylove @iceman-kazansky @residentdemonhunter @astronomyandfrogs @herdetectivetheorist @prttylight @i-love-sirius-black7 @dreamauri @03071987 [feel free to join the taglist!]

VEE'S NOTES: I didn't post this earlier because I wasn't in a good mood after the prologue wasn't pretty liked to be honest, but here I am! Sorry for the delay, and if you read this hope you like it <3 ↳ TALK TO ME / REQUESTS! | FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST

© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

Jerez, Spain 10th February, 2010

You hadn’t received a single call from Mark since the day you last spoke to him. In fact, you hadn’t expected him to call, but that didn’t stop you from feeling disappointed.

The only thing you got from your boyfriend was an endless string of missed calls, followed by the sound of his voicemail, his pre-recorded voice telling you to leave a message and that he would call you back later. And you did leave messages, knowing full well you wouldn’t get a response.

Instead, it was Seb who spoke to you every day.

The German hadn’t said anything else during that fateful dinner that should have been a refuge for both of you; nor did he bring it up for the rest of his stay in Linz or even when he was back in Heppenheim. Even though you had agreed not to see each other again until it was time to fly to Spain for the presentation of Red Bull’s new car, the RB6, Sebastian never stopped worrying about you. He called you daily; he was the first to hear about your grades from the penultimate semester of university, and sometimes, you even fell asleep while still on the phone with him. You both stayed up late talking, no matter how many times you promised to sleep early, only to curse yourselves the next morning for breaking that promise, despite knowing you would do it again.

You tried, with difficulty, to get some sort of call, message, or even a breakup and an explanation from Mark about why he no longer wanted to continue your strange relationship. You did everything you could to let him know that the team had contacted you, requiring you to be in southern Europe in February, but it was impossible.

The blue-eyed man who made your days easier, especially as your father’s health worsened and you were already grieving before the inevitable, not only showed interest and happiness that Red Bull Racing’s intern would be at the event, but he also offered to travel to Austria and stay with you for two or three days before the flight. He knew how terrified you were of flying and didn’t want you to go through it alone.

You didn’t see Mark or anyone from the team, except for the obvious Sebastian and his PR manager, Britta Roeske, during the two days leading up to the big event. That Wednesday, however, anxiety took over as you got ready in your hotel room. The feeling only intensified as you headed to the circuit with your best friend, realizing that you would have to face Mark.

It was barely ten in the morning, and the air was already thick with the persistent scent of burnt rubber, oil, and fuel, not to mention the noise caused by photographers, journalists, team members, and the occasional fan roaming around.

The RB6 had just been unveiled, and now, everyone was behind the cameras, hidden in the garages after dealing with the press. All that was left was to wait for the mechanics to finish the final adjustments before the first day of pre-season testing began, with both Webber and Vettel taking part.

Sebastian stood beside you, tucked away in a corner of the garage. His arms were crossed, and his eyes constantly moved, not out of nervousness, but out of an effort to stay in control of everything. He knew you would run into your teammate at any moment, and more than wanting to prevent an altercation, he didn’t want the Australian to create a scene big enough for others to notice.

More than anything, he didn’t want all of that to be another burden for you.

You, on the other hand, were nervous. Your hands fidgeted, grasping each other, playing with your hair, or clutching your jacket. Your eyes darted around, and each time a door opened or someone entered, your body tensed, only to relax upon realizing it wasn’t the person you dreaded seeing most.

It hadn’t even been a month since your last conversation with Mark, but enough time had passed for you to try to push it from your mind, or at least, to not give it so much importance. But you couldn’t. It still hurt to comprehend that he only called to demand explanations about your life and judge you, fully aware of how important Seb was to you, rather than to apologize for forgetting about you for weeks despite your insistence on staying in touch.

You gave up, but that didn’t make you feel any better. The only thing that comforted you was knowing that you had been there for Sebastian when he needed a friend the most. But what made you question whether it was all worth it was the fact that Mark had already made up his mind, and nothing you could say would convince him otherwise.

When you turned to look at the man beside you, and he gazed at you with a light in his eyes that you had never seen in your boyfriend’s, you knew you would endure a thousand more fights with Mark just to see Sebastian happy.

Finally, Mark appeared, his race suit half-unzipped. He started chatting with some team members, who seemed more than happy to see him after so many months.

As he cheerfully greeted each one of them, playing the part of the charming prince, Sebastian rolled his eyes. He couldn’t see his teammate the same way anymore—not after hearing him yell at you over the phone and, worse, manipulate you in ways you didn’t seem to notice.

“Y/N, you don’t have to talk to him right now,” Sebastian murmured, stepping closer to you.

You felt a shiver run through you but tried to stay in control. You saw Webber approaching, and by instinct, you moved closer to Seb, almost knocking him over. He wrapped his arms around you to keep you from falling.

“Sorry…” was all you managed to say, unaware of what he had just told you.

“Talk to him when you feel strong enough,” Vettel continued, his voice just as calm. “Take a deep breath, and think carefully about what you want to say.”

“No, Seb, I need to talk to Mark as soon as possible…”

“Y/N—”

“If he’s going to act the way he did on the phone or make passive-aggressive comments through veiled insults, I’d rather he say it to my face,” you declared. Then, sighing, you forced yourself to relax before walking toward your boyfriend. “I’m sorry…”

Sebastian sighed this time, and despite knowing Webber was watching, he hugged you. Then, glaring at the Australian, he gently cupped your face in his hands.

And oh, how he wished he could not only kiss you but also make you see that you deserved far more than the love Webber had made you believe you were worth.

“Be careful, okay? Mark… He knows how to hurt you.”

You nodded timidly before kissing his cheek, promising him that everything would be fine, even though you had no idea what would happen or how things between you and Mark would end.

Without saying much more, you started crossing the garage, trying to follow Mark’s steps. After seeing how you and Sebastian had been acting, the two of you, who claimed to be nothing more than best friends, Mark had decided to leave, holding back the urge to cause a scene that would land both you and him on the front pages of every Formula 1 gossip magazine… if that was even what he wanted, of course.

"Can we talk?"

You quickened your pace slightly and carefully grabbed Mark’s fireproof suit. He turned around, coming face to face with you, frustrated, maybe even disappointed. You knew he was angry, even though your voice sounded firm. At least, that’s what your body language was screaming.

"Oh, now you want to talk?" Webber laughed bitterly.

"Don’t start," you warned, raising your voice a little more than you should have. "I just want to clear things up because, since you didn’t give me the chance to do it on the phone, maybe now that I have you in front of me, you will."

"Let me remind you that you were the one who hung up the call after I… I don’t know… maybe started pissing you off by calling you out for hiding things from me?"

You tried to argue back, but you knew it wasn’t worth it. Instead, you stayed quiet, though you rolled your eyes just enough to let Mark know how impossible he was—and to irritate him in the process.

He wanted you to torment yourself, to let the guilt eat you alive until you admitted the truth—the way he saw it. And deep down, that was exactly what he wanted.

"Fine. Go ahead," the Australian finally conceded.

You took a deep breath, trying to stay calm before speaking.

"You accused me of things that aren’t true, Mark, and you know it. Seb was in Linz because he needed a break, okay? He needed to clear his head, disconnect from everything… He and Hanna had just broken up, and I offered to let him stay at my place for him, not for me. He needed support, and that’s what friends do."

"And out of all the people who could have been there for him, he had to choose you?" Mark scoffed, tilting his head slightly at your explanation. "That’s a bit strange, don’t you think?"

"It’s not what you’re thinking, Mark."

"Yeah, I know. But let me tell you, it’s pretty damn strange. And forgive me for doubting you, but isn’t it interesting how you’re always there when Seb needs someone? It’s almost like… like you want him to need you."

Your hands clenched into fists on instinct. You were quickly reaching your breaking point.

"I was just being a friend, you know? Not like you, who couldn’t even bother to pick up the damn phone once or even send me a single message since the season ended."

"Oh, so now this is my fault?" Mark pointed to himself, a smirk creeping onto his face.

"I just want you to know that I didn’t do anything wrong."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. Do you know what your problem is, Y/N?" He stepped closer, forcing you to take a few steps back, not that it mattered, because he grabbed your wrists before you could escape. His grip was tighter than you would have liked. Even when you tried to pull away, he didn’t let go. "You always think you can fix everything. You think you can save everyone from whatever pain they’re going through. But I don’t blame you. Maybe it’s just your way of coping… making yourself feel better after your mother killed herself."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut.

You were speechless. Breathing became harder, and seeing became nearly impossible with the tears welling up in your eyes. Everything around you seemed to disappear, leaving only the man in front of you and the words he had just spoken.

Maybe it’s just your way of coping… making yourself feel better after your mother killed herself.

For years, you had convinced yourself that your mother had been sick, that you weren’t at fault for not being able to save her. That you weren’t to blame for not getting home earlier that day, only to find her lifeless on the bed. You had told yourself, over and over, that you were just another victim of that suicide.

"Mark, I… I didn’t…" The lump in your throat made it impossible to speak, and neither did the tears that spilled from your eyes. "I’m not seeing Sebastian… I only love you…"

The words slipped from your lips automatically, but you weren’t sure if you were trying to convince Mark… or yourself.

He only shook his head, trying not to laugh at how pathetic and ridiculous you must have looked to him.

"If that’s what helps you sleep at night, keep lying to me. But if you really aren’t cheating on me with Vettel, I suppose I’ll have to see it for myself."

"Hey, Webber! Quit messing around with your girl and get over here! Didn’t you say you had something really important to discuss with us?"

Both of you turned toward Christian Horner, who was standing at the door of one of the makeshift offices. Through the window, you could see Helmut Marko buried in paperwork while marking something on his phone.

"Yeah, of course! I’m coming!"

You felt a wave of relief as Mark turned his back to you and walked away, without another word, without even saying goodbye, heading toward that room. You wanted to argue, to keep insisting that you had nothing going on with Seb, but you knew it was useless. Nothing you said would change Mark’s mind.

All you could do was stand there, staring at the door he had just walked through. You tried to peek through the window to see what that sudden meeting was about, one you had heard nothing about, but you gave up when your boyfriend suddenly glanced in your direction. He shot you a knowing smile before pulling the blinds closed.

"Shit…"

Your stomach twisted into knots as you turned around, aimlessly walking through the garage.

"You’re scrunching your nose. A lot, I’d say," a voice, too familiar, spoke in front of you.

If it hadn’t been for the German standing in your way, you would have walked right into him.

Why did Seb always show up when you needed him most?

Maybe because he knows how much you’re being hurt… and he was listening to the conversation as well.

No, that was impossible. He had probably just been waiting around in the garage until they told him he could do another test lap.

"You know I always scrunch my nose when I’m mad." Seb raised an eyebrow, and you rolled your eyes. "He was talking shit about you, Seb."

"Talking shit about me? Or talking shit about you and blaming you for doing things with me that, by the way, we haven’t done?"

You hesitated. You didn’t know how to answer because, once again, he was right.

Mark knew exactly how to get into your head, how to manipulate you until you started doubting yourself. Meanwhile, Sebastian had somehow become your voice of reason when you felt like you were losing your mind.

"I feel like he thinks I feel too much, you know?" you admitted, dodging his question, dodging the conversation entirely. You didn’t want to talk about Mark. You just needed to get this off your chest. "Like I have some kind of savior complex…"

"Because you couldn’t save your mother," Vettel finished for you. You cursed yourself for letting him hear that part. "Jesus, Y/N, that’s complete bullshit. Not about your mom," he quickly corrected himself, stumbling over his words, "but him saying that. You just want to help people… maybe the way you wish someone had helped you."

"But you help me… My dad, my aunt, my uncle and, well, my sisters," you muttered. "But whatever. The point is, you try explaining to him that everything he says is complete bullshit."

"Honestly? I would if I thought it would do any good," he said. "But since I know he won’t change his mind, I’d rather not waste my time. I’d rather spend it with you."

You gave him a tired smile. Seb could tell you were trying to put on a brave face, just like you always did when things weren’t going well. At that moment, something deep inside him burned with the need to protect you from everything that hurt you.

That was how he had felt for the past few months, but he did his best not to show it, to try to ignore it… yet all he managed to do was make it grow larger and larger.

And that was exactly what scared him the most about yourself in that moment.

"Come on, let's go," was all he could say as, unlike Mark, Seb took your hand as if it were a delicate, breakable piece of porcelain.

"Where? The pretesting session is about to—"

"Fuck the pretesting session," he cut you off, not giving you a chance to say anything else.

Seb’s fingers intertwined with yours, and even though he wasn't entirely sure where to go or what to do, one thing was clear, he just wanted to get them out of there, far away from where Mark had once again treated you so badly.

As you crossed the paddock under the watchful eyes of some journalists, you ran into Britta Roeske, Seb’s PR manager and, in many ways, his savior… or even a second mother, depending on how someone looked at it.

The woman, perfectly dressed in her Red Bull uniform, wasn’t surprised to see you together, but she was surprised to see you that together. She couldn’t help but glance down at your still-intertwined hands and then back up at both of you, incredulous.

"Don’t you dare be late. Thirty minutes, Sebastian," was all she said.

"Seems like you don’t trust me," he answered with an innocent smile that, rather than a trick, seemed completely sincere.

"With her?" Roeske pointed at you, who merely shrugged and curled your lips into a small smile. "Not really, to be honest. Be careful and don’t do anything you’ll regret later."

Neither of you answered that, but you both knew exactly what she meant.

You continued walking in a comfortable silence around the circuit, getting further away from the paddock. Seb went along with what you jokingly called a "track walk rehearsal" until you reached a grandstand area. Once seated, you had a perfect view of the entire track.

"Thanks for everything," you murmured, pulling your knees to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. Seb, on the other hand, draped an arm around your shoulders and, noticing how cold you were, took off his jacket and placed it over you.

"You don’t have to thank me. I hate seeing you like this. Out of all the people in the world who don’t deserve to feel this way, you’re at the top of the list."

Neither of you said anything else. You simply smiled and, for the first time all day, without fear, leaned against Seb’s chest. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around you, pressed a kiss to your forehead and started playing with your hair as he always did.

"I don’t understand why he’s talking to Helmut and Horner," you broke the silence, sitting up slightly to look at Seb. "What could possibly be so important that they had to have a meeting today?"

"Yeah, I was wondering the same thing," he frowned. "To be honest, I don’t like it…"

"Do you think it’s about me?"

Vettel bit his lip at your question. He wanted to be honest with you, but at the same time, he didn’t want to make you worry more or overthink something that might end up being trivial.

"I don’t want to assume, but… Webber is the kind of guy who likes to control everything and, with that, do whatever it takes to stay in the spotlight," he commented, carefully choosing his words. "If he feels like he’s going to be the second driver again, like last season…" Seb hesitated before continuing, trying to find the right way to say it. "I don’t know, Y/N, maybe he just wants to twist the narrative to fit his paranoia."

He couldn’t lie to you. You didn’t deserve that.

You swallowed hard.

"Do you think he’s going to turn them against me?"

"I don’t know, but what I do know is that whatever he’s saying won’t change the fact that you belong to this team, that you belong to…"

My life, he thought without a shred of regret, but with too much fear to say it out loud.

"You’re smart, Y/N," he continued. "This is your second year with the team; your third with me. You know everyone here, and most of all, you know me perfectly. And if that wasn’t enough, you work harder than anyone, Rocky’s words, not mine, while also juggling university and taking care of your father and sisters."

"It’s just what I have to do…"

"If they don’t realize what an incredible person they have right in front of them, that’s their problem, not mine."

You lowered your gaze, unable to stop yourself from blushing.

"Why do you always know exactly what to say to make someone’s day better?"

"It’s not about making someone’s day better, Y/N. It’s just telling the truth about what an incredible person you are."

For the first time, you found the strength to look at Seb without feeling embarrassed. It felt… strange. You didn’t know what exactly, but you were sure that the way he spoke to you, the things he said, the way he looked at you…

It was as if Sebastian truly saw you as more than just a friend.

Once again, neither of you dared to speak.

Seb wanted to say a thousand things, but he knew it wasn’t the right moment. And when it came to you, you wanted to take things slowly, savoring every moment, and, most importantly, putting your well-being first.

You, on the other hand, had always seen him as your safe haven since you arrived at Toro Rosso in 2008. But now… it felt different. Maybe it was what you had been denying to yourself finally coming to the surface, the thing that had been there for about two years, back when Seb were still dating Hanna.

Maybe, the silence you were now sharing would, one day, turn into the confession neither of you had been brave enough to admit, to yourselves or to each other.

"Seb…"

"Come what may, okay?" Seb interrupted you gently, taking your hand and tracing small hearts on your skin. "Never forget it: I’ll be there, here, wherever… but with you. Come what may."

[nerdy-chocomallow]

Honestly, I think that Season 5 bring the worst isn’t even an opinion anymore. It’s a fact.

I see a lot of people on the Brazilian fandom and especially on the YouTube speaking of how this season is action packed and full of twists.

But, honestly… it’s mostly the plot rushing through things that it should have developed earlier, retcons and bad writing.

I could rant for hours at how bad this season is…

To me, it how marinette is barely facing any consequences at all and I mean people not trusting her and mad at her for her actions and behavior. Instead, we get excuses for them and we’re supposed to be cool with it. And what gets me the most is how it doesn’t matter if she messes up, she still the best superhero in the world, even though she help ended the world completely.

It doesn’t matter if it was action packed and has many twists and turns, if it was written poorly and badly, it becomes more obnoxious than anything. Like, why do the alliance rings work and why did they need to do existence when Gabriel created akumas that had similar powers to the miraculous but just better than any of them, like did he really need the miraculous to do that? Why does marinette keep thinking love was the problem when it was her lack of trust in chat noir and not communicating with him at all. Why remove Su-Han from the story when they need him more now than ever?! Why make the statue scene be the moment when Adrien falls for marinette when there were other moments to choose from? Why excuse Felix and Marinette’s bad actions and behavior, then said Chloé has no excuse to act like a bitch? Why isn’t Felix helping in season finale when you said he cares about his cousin and girlfriend so much, I guess he doesn’t consider he doesn’t try to help break them out? Why blame love for everything when real problem was the lack of trust, not knowing each other’s identities, and just being completely assholes to each other especially ladybug towards chat noir?! And there so much more that I can think of, it frustrates me that I have to watch this season and act like this is okay.

[coraniaid]

I'm doing a Buffy rewatch and it's made me realize that Giles has so many sweet moments with Buffy and Willow, but he never really warms up to Xander. Thoughts on why that is? Love your blog, btw! Your analyses are so insightful and interesting. Hence the question. :)

Thank you!

So ... the most obvious issue, I guess, is that Xander is the comic relief while Giles is responsible for keeping Buffy focused on her mission and aware of the dangers and risks involved. I mean that both in a narrative sense -- these are literally the roles the characters exist to fill -- and also in terms of how they both think of themselves as people. (I don't think you have to be too sympathetic to Xander to realize his humor is a coping mechanism: that he consciously works to be 'the funny one' because he doesn't think he can be as smart as Willow or as stereotypically masculine as he's been brought up to think he should be). And naturally that's going to put them in tension a lot of the time: see, for example, Giles snapping at Xander in What's My Line? when he doesn't take the Order of Taraka sufficiently seriously ("now isn't the time for jokes").

But beyond that, I think there are two or three different factors at play, which we can sum up as "Xander reminds Giles of himself when he was a teenager", or more generally "Xander is a teenage boy, a class of people Giles doesn't have much respect for", or -- taking that word 'class' a little more literally -- "Giles can be a bit of a snob".

Xander reminds Giles of himself when he was a teenager

Of course, on the surface Xander isn't much like Giles at all -- not the adult, educated, respectable Giles we see on the show or the more rebellious 'Ripper' we only hear about until Band Candy. But I think they are more alike than it might appear at first.

People sometimes talk about Giles's Ripper persona as if that's who Giles really is. Ethan Rayne does, in universe, and a lot of the fandom seems to agree with him. It's not really true though, I don't think. 'Ripper' is a mask, a construct that young Giles adopts precisely because it's not the sort of person he's spent most of his childhood being. And what was Giles like for most of his childhood?

Well, we know that he was forced to be more studious than he was naturally inclined to be (he admits in The Dark Age to having "hated [...] the tedious grind of study"). We know from Never Kill A Boy On The First Date that as a boy he wanted to be "a fighter pilot" (compare with Xander's fantasy about being a solider) or "possibly a grocer" (compare with Xander's actual eventual work). We even know, from A New Man, that he could be a bit of a class clown at times (in that episode he starts telling an anecdote about a time he played "a little bit of a prank with the [school's] dart board").

Who does that remind us of? Or what about other similarities: compare, for example, Xander rehearsing asking Buffy out (in Prophecy Girl) with Giles rehearsing asking Jenny out a few episodes later (in Some Assembly Required). Or in Season 6, compare Giles leaving Buffy -- for what Once More With Feeling tells us he believes is her own good -- with Xander refusing to fulfil his earlier promise to marry Anya, also ostensibly for her own good.

There are also big similarities in how both Xander and Giles relate to Buffy. Crucially, both of them describe her as something they're not: a hero. Xander first, in Season 4's The Freshman ("When it's dark and I'm all alone and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero.") and then in a more negative light Giles in Season 5's The Gift (he preemptively justifies his murder of Ben by telling him that Buffy "couldn't take a human life" because "she's a hero, you see ... she's not like us". He's talking to Ben here, but he could be talking to Xander too.)

So that's one factor: Xander reminds Giles of (what he thinks are) his own worse impulses. (I don't think that's a particularly fair assessment on Giles' part, of course. Xander is noticeably more open with his feelings than Giles can be, for one thing. But I think this is how Giles sees Xander.)

Xander is a teenage boy, a class of people Giles doesn't have much respect for

If Xander doesn't remind Giles of his own younger self, he surely reminds him of people he knew growing up. We know (from Season 4's A New Man) that Giles went to public school (i.e. a private, fee-paying school, probably a boarding school). Many public schools in England, even today, are segregated by gender, and (although I don't have the figures to hand) I'd expect the majority were when Giles was of school age, so probably everyone Giles went to school with was a boy.

And what does Giles think about teenage boys? Well, nothing very good. In Season 1's The Pack, he fails to see at first that Xander's been possessed, assuming all his new negative traits are just typical for a teenager:

"Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate? And there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor? And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles? It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy."

Later in that same scene he announces that "testosterone ... turns all men into morons". Later still, in Season 3's The Prom, he is surprised by Buffy's classmates recognition of her work protecting them because he "had no idea that children en masse could be so gracious".

We don't really see much of Oz and Giles interacting (beyond Oz appreciating Giles's record collection in Season 4, which is arguably a bit of a retcon since a previous episode suggested Giles is still a fan of the Bay City Rollers), and Buffy doesn't really have any other friends who are teenage boys, so it's hard to be sure how much of Giles's attitude towards Xander is Xander-specific and how much is just Xander being a teenage boy (and thus automatically being suspect in Giles' eyes).

Giles can be a bit of a snob

One way in which Xander and Giles are noticeably not similar at all is their social background. Giles went to public school and Oxford (and it's strongly implied that his parents and grandparents did the same, since going to Oxford seems to be part of his training as a Watcher). Giles had a job (maybe) working for the British Library. Giles speaks several languages, including Latin and Greek. Giles never seems to worry about money at all: he owns a large house and buys new cars, even when he's supposedly unemployed, he's able to give Buffy a gift of a very large check without experiencing any obvious hardship.

Xander ... didn't and can't do those things. I'm not sure the show ever quite makes this explicit, but I get the strong sense that he doesn't go to college not by choice but both because he doesn't have the grades and his parents wouldn't (want to, or be able to) pay the fees. Xander's home life sounds terrible for a number of reasons, but one element is that his parents just don't seem to have the same level of wealth as Willow's or Cordelia's or even Buffy's.

Willow's parents are academics and Buffy's mom owns an art gallery (and her dad does ... something in an office that involves "quarterly projections"), but Xander? In Season 1 we learn he has an uncle (possibly the famous Uncle Rory?) who used to work in a computer research lab, albeit "in a floor sweeping capacity". In Bad Girls Cordelia tells him that she's different from him because "my father has a job". In Out of Mind Out of Sight he admits his mother never cooks and Willow wonders out loud if his parents even own a stove.

Xander is working class coded in a way that really none of the other characters on the show are. None of the other characters until Faith arrives in Season 3, anyway. And crucially Giles also doesn't seem to care for Faith: he treats her much more like Xander than he treats either Buffy or Willow (or even Kendra, who he seems to warm to quickly in her limited time on the show).

I don't know how intentional this is on the writers' part -- I suspect it isn't very intentional, honestly -- but it seems noticeable that Buffy and Willow are both (at least initially) well-behaved, rules-respecting children from stable homes whose parents have money and who encourage their children to take education seriously, and that they are all also fairly obviously Giles's favorites. Especially when you factor in Giles general air of mild (and sometimes not so mild) cultural superiority ("She's quite a good poet, for an American" in Never Kill A Boy On The First Date, say; or his complaint about a demon after money in Enemies being evidence that "no one has any standards anymore"; or his suggestion that Xander taunting the fear demon in Fear Itself is "tacky"; or his arguments with Jenny -- in which she repeatedly calls him snobby -- about the relative merits of rare, curated books as opposed to more accessible forms of knowledge; or his attitude towards Buffy's taste in fashion or music more generally).

And ... well, this is consistent with who the show tells us Giles is, right? Somebody with his background would be encouraged in all sorts of small ways from a very early age to look down on somebody like Xander. Somebody who doesn't go to the right sort of school or talk in the right sort of way or know the right things or have the right sort of parents. So perhaps it's no surprise that he does exactly that.

[evilbookworm]

He was not "pressured to" he clearly wanted to tell her earlier, he just didn't have the courage, but it grows when Will tells him, why? Because he trusts him. He feels safe in that environment. That OFC doesnt mean he is inlove with him. But the monologue was just so emotional, damn. Mike started acting protective over El when he saw her again in s3, he told her she is the most important thing to him in the world

When the heck did it look like he wanted to tell her? He couldn’t even write it in his letters for gods sake! Will encouraged him so that Mike could save El, which he didn’t even do. El saved herself, and Max. At least, she did the best she could for her. Because Mike didn’t work.

This whole thing was Mike with Will. Not El. He wasn’t thinking about El. In fact, he looked deflated when he found out the painting was *technically* from her.

They were not a healthy couple in season 3. It was unhealthy. Making out and leaving your friends? Not to mention the lack of proper apologies in the other half of the season.

[batteredrugosa]

On Halsin and ducks...

@autistichalsin posted something earlier today about epilogue Halsin and as a result I have been thinking about Halsin and his love of ducks and how generally great I think he is all day. As such, I have dribbled a drabble about it. Here are Tash and Halsin getting to know each other a little bit on their first night in the underdark.

--,-'--@ @--,-'-

The fire burned low but steady, coals glowing and perfect for cooking the slow stewing of the porridge that Gale had made from the last of the bag of dried peas. The glowing mushrooms of the Underdark did not in any way resemble stars, but Tash loved them anyway. Their ambient glow reminded her of home and of her order and the light made for a lovely and colorful cast to an otherwise dark night.

The monk sat with Halsin by the fire, splitting a pot of tea between them while he shaved thin slivers of wood from the back of his latest carving and she tossed her still damp hair, drying it in front of the flames. It was the first time since he joined them after the Tiefling's celebration that Tash had been able to take the time to really talk with the stoic druid. Until now, most of the time had been spent on  strategy and research for the battles to come. She sent a tendril of thought towards Astarion, off making the rounds during the evening watch, and felt his calm reassurance of all quiet darling in return. 

"What are you making?" She peered past the small curved blade resting against Halsin's palm to study the bit of wood.  He was  working over a slightly curved surface in small economical motions, leaving a repeating texture behind. Maybe scales? Or feathers? 

"It's a duck.  I like ducks." She nodded, open and interested, as she leaned closer, shifting to keep from blocking the light. 

"Oh, those are feathers then.  What sort of duck is it?  do you have a favorite?" Halsin's hands stilled and he sat back turning to look at her more directly.  The furrow of concentration in his brow shifted, deepened to one of confusion, or maybe suspicion? Tash let her shoulders relax and widened her smile in response. The big elf had the kindest eyes, but he always seemed a little bit apart from the others, and she wanted him to feel at ease with her. 

"A favorite duck?"  he asked, tentative. She nodded.

"I don't know much about ducks myself, but I am ever so fond of spiders and there are legions of kinds.  I'm sure you have at least one favorite duck." She pulled her almost dry hair over her shoulder and began to braid it into its usual long tail,  mostly to keep her hands busy. 

Halsin's low humming sigh was full of thought. "If I had to chose one, I would have to say the loxoran. They are a hearty breed found in swamps and wetlands near my family's home.  I often saw them in the marsh as a child, and my very first pet was a Loxori chick who lost it's mother.  They have a lovely iridescent coat of feathers, green and purple on black.  And they lay black eggs, that lighten over the breeding season, fading to  soft grey by the end of winter months." The druid paused, a flash of worry darkening his eyes again, shoulders tensing just slightly. 

Tashryn grinned up at him and shook the end of her purple and black braid back and forth. "I may be biased, but black and grey and purple sounds absolutely lovely. Are they dimorphic? Or are they all wearing such evening tones?" Halsin's brow raised, surprised by the question, and his slow smile spread across his features, lighting his eyes with joy.  He began to expound about ducks with great detail, and Tash felt an upswelling of fondness warming her heart.

[aaron04jpg]

Making it clear: I AM NOT HATING ON OSCAR

If anything I am hating on McLaren and the way they handled last year and Oscar FANS for this comment before the season has even started. The original quote from zak brown has nothing to do with Oscar.

The whole “not 1st driver” things works for McLaren if there isn’t a championship on the line. They backed Lando too late, I think zak is saying “Lando’s goal is for the wdc. We want to get him there” because Lando has said to the media he thinks he can fight for the title 2025. I think it also zak saying he regrets not backing Lando when he was fighting earlier before it became too late.

I’m sure if Oscar came to the media or went to the team and said the same, Andrea would say the same thing backing Oscar because those are his drivers

But to get “Oscar is a number 2 driver” from “lando wants to be world champion and had a good drive in Abu Dhabi” is quite insane.

that’s it i probably made it worse i love Oscar but Lando is my driver so this has an incredible bias

Don’t cancel me

Ok bye 🏃💨

Can we PLEASE use our thinking heads?? Zak Brown’s comment has NOTHING to do with Oscar. All he is saying is that Lando had an excellent drive in Abu Dhabi, and because he was a championship contender last season he obviously wants to be one this season??

[something-about-sunflowers]

They're pirates.

So it makes sense, really.

People die in pirate shows. Sun poisoning, heatstroke.

People die in pirate shows. Suffocation.

People die in pirate shows. Stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Hangings.

People die in pirate shows. More stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Infections.

People die in pirate shows. Amputations.

People die in pirate shows. More stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Scurvy.

People die in pirate shows. Broken ribs, spine.

People die in pirate shows. Drowning.

People die in pirate shows. More amputations.

People die in pirate shows. Traumatic brain injuries.

People die in pirate shows. Sun poisoning, heatstroke, starvation.

People die in pirate shows. Gunshots.

People die in pirate shows. More amputations.

People die in pirate shows. Even more amputations.

People die in pirate shows. More gunshots.

People die in pirate shows. More gunshots.

People die in pirate shows. More traumatic brain injuries.

People die in pirate shows. Even more stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Poisoning.

People die in pirate shows. Allergic reaction.

People die in pirate shows. Even more traumatic brain injuries.

People die in pirate shows. Explosions.

People die in pirate shows. More poisoning.

So it makes sense that Izzy died. Because people die in pirate shows. And this is a show about pirates. Where people die.

[ratatatastic]

"Battle of Alberta, right? It was my first game: Calgary, Edmonton. We would play them in the preseason, and you know—trying to make the team I'd always be asking him to fight in preseason, always. I'd be runnin' my mouth—like, tryna fight the biggest, baddest guys, tryna make an impression.

And he would never fight me. He'd always tell me, like If you make the team, I'll fight ya. You don't have to worry about that, but I'm not fightin' ya preseason. And I totally respect it, I'm not gonna chase him down. It is what it is. He's established—I'm looking for my chance.

So I get called up, we're playing Edmonton in Edmonton: Battle of Alberta. [He's] over there on the other side, and it's like the coolest thing ever... you know, the buildup was crazy 'cuz I knew if the opportunity presented itself—if the game went the way I hoped it would, I would get an opportunity to fight him.

I remembered in warmups tryna skate by the redline initially just kind-of gettin' a feel for it—to see if I have to say something or whatever... He's got no bucket on, his big, bald head is glarin' around, he skates by the redline with the biggest smile on his face, and just gives me the biggest wink...

At that moment I knew Okay, he remembers. It's gonna happen at some point.

We were up 1, I think it was 2-1 going into intermission or whatever—Oh, no, I think it was 1-1 and we had just scored so the position I'm like Yeah, I don't know if I can fight him now because we have the momentum and we're winning the game. I don't want to lose a fight, then we lose a game and now I'm, like, never getting a chance again.

You kind-of gotta play the game within the game like [...] there's an opportunity to fight, and there's an opportunities where you shouldn't fight. Things weren't looking good, then they score and now we need a spark. I'm like Fucking perfect.

I just skate by their bench and I'm like It's time, big boy! He jumps out, we line up, and he goes We squarin' up or we goin' right away?

I'm like I'm not fuckin' squarin' up with you right now! We're goin' right away!

Drop em, we go right away, grab each other. I know he's a lefty so he's gonna let go—let's go of my right arm before he throws one. I threw one. Big boy went down, he jumped back up pretty quick. I don't know, I tell people all the time, I'm like I would've been in the league fuckin' 2 years earlier if there was good footage of this fuckin' fight!

For some reason—For some reason, the cameras cut out. I don't know if [he] had his cousins working the cameras or something that night, or if they're in the video room or what happened.

That was my first NHL game.

It's funny 'cuz Chucky was there—Chucky's there and he knows, he saw, he always laugh when I say that I would've been in the league earlier 'cuz he knows how things like that go. You get a little bit of energy and buzz around ya, and then kind-of momentum takes you a little bit further but unfortunate[ly], I missed that opportunity but I don't regret a thing.

[...]

The opportunity was there, I just—unfortunately, for whatever reason, the Hockey Gods said not yet." (Ryan Lomberg reminiscing over his first NHL game/fight) (x)(x) (please go watch the second link to see lombos giant smile as he tells this story jfc)

and other genuinely bonkers things to say about a hockey player in your first fight... like why did this need to be said like that...what

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

men are so disappointing in so many ways i know i shouldn't expect most of them to be dignified humans but it's crazy. i need to get over this guy he's making my sense of self crumble even faster than it usually does. like he's just so unlike my usual type and i'm pretty convinced he's stupid and slutty and not discerning whatsoever. not to mention boring like i know even if i did have a chance with him he wouldn't Get Me at all so it's a bigger waste of time that usual and i'm actually pretty tired of men in general and definitely tired of parasocial relationships because they drive me insane for months typically. thankfully it's only been like 2 weeks if that at this point. idk. sigh. i know literally virtually nothing abt him as a person and ofc liking any public figure who you know nothing about is only setting yourself for heartbreak and disappointment to begin with bc you already know nothing is gonna come from it but. in a way it's almost addictive to become obsessed with someone and not be looked at with the same level of scrutiny. i don't think anyone in real life would ever try to get to know me as much as i try to get to know people who i'll never even meet. lmao! but that's the thing... idk... i have a lot of love in my heart and it consumes me and i reject my pride usually when i'm into someone. i want to know more... like VORACIOUSLY consuming anything with information about them involved simply because i think knowing someone is a very deep form of love but of course you can never truly know anyone. not completely. and that scares me i think which is why it's always probably been easier for me to never really TRY to be with anyone or have anything real. idk. this turned into me psychoanalyzing myself real quick but SOMEONE needs to bc i need to understand what the fuck is wrong w me.

[sorceressofthesky]

No worries at all! I've seen your analyses before and I really love reading your thoughts; I'll put my own contributions under a cut.

With regards to the ventilation system - Cassandra's monologue at the start of S2E3 tells us that this was her doing, as per the following: The rise of industry in the fissures has led to the air becoming increasingly toxic. I've instructed our architects to devise a ventilation system. The people of the underground deserve to breathe. So that woman in the picture is definitely her. Cassandra is meant to be roughly the same age as Silco and Vander, perhaps a little older (I'd say early-mid 50s?). She looks a fair bit younger in that picture than she does in Season 1, so I'd agree that this shifts the timeline earlier than Silco's solo era. I'm guessing that places it either during or slightly before construction of the Lanes, with V & S 16-17ish at minimum. These are the pictures I pulled out from the time of the vents being built:

These show the precise areas believed to be affected by the Grey. From this, it looks like the Grey was thought to have originated from the pipes underground and spread to the upper levels, bleeding into the Piltovian air. I think it's possible that the "rise of industry" around the beginning of Vander and Silco's era resulted in the Grey rising much higher than it had before, and that was when the council started to take notice. We know the mines were still operational at the time because of Felicia and Connol, so the picture of miners watching Cassandra cut the ribbon wouldn't be out of place, and we do also know that the vents helped filter air in the lower levels as well as the upper levels. I guess they saw the pollution affecting the upper levels and went to investigate lower down, which brought the magnitude of the issue to their attention.

As for Silco's role during his time of solo leadership, I do still think he had some level of involvement with the council, however small. I doubt he ever met or spoke directly to the council - that seems extremely unlikely - but him at least being known to them as an "industrialist" indicates that his name has come up before. Caitlyn recognises his name too, which seems like such an odd detail; he must have made an impression either on Cassandra or on the Enforcers for Cait to have heard about him. At the very least, Silco is recognised as a prominent figure in Zaun with a lot of wealth and influence, and they've conducted investigations into his activity before, led by Marcus. Notably, Jayce doesn't seem to have heard of him ("what does this Silco even want from us" in S1E8, the phrasing "this Silco" implying that the name is new to him), so I don't think he's well known to anyone outside of Piltovian authorities.

The Council Archives shed some light on this in Vi's prison records and the transcript of a conversation between an Enforcer and one of Chross's underlings. The files there suggest that Silco's name might have come up a few times in various interrogations and through prisoners who work for him - thus warranting the investigations that Marcus claims to have conducted, which obviously turned up no evidence. I don't think the game is actually regarded as 100% canon though, so it isn't the most reliable source. Regardless of the how and why, Silco is definitely someone on the council's radar, and he himself is very fixed on a particular method of dealing with them ("we both know Topside won't listen to anything else" in S1E3). Whatever he's seen or heard about the council led him to believe that they aren't easily swayed, and I think he was expecting a lot more pushback than he got when it came to his negotiations for independence ("the boy didn't even haggle" in S1E9). A big part of that is presumably the difference between Jayce and Heimerdinger's receptiveness to change in the main timeline, which also supports the theory about Heimer helping out in the AU since he's much more open by then.

Vi and Powder's old house is something I've wondered about too; it looks like a pretty big house, with a staircase identical to the one in the Kirammans' mansion, which seems super inconsistent with Felicia and Connol being miners who - in Felicia's own words - were "living week to week". The most plausible theory I can think of on that front is that they wanted to live away from the Lanes in the early days of V & S due to the uncertainty at that time, which would have made it an impractical place to raise young kids. At the time of Felicia's first pregnancy, it doesn't sound like the Lanes have even been built yet, so there would have been inevitable risks with living in and around The Last Drop. Maybe them continuing to work in the mines had something to do with it too, since they're much better off with a stable, reliably-paying job rather than risking arrest via involvement with the smuggling operation. She essentially counts herself out of their mission when she says "you two are going to figure this thing out", so I guess she played a moral support role rather than an active role in Zaun's foundation.

As for their old house being the place where the extremely poor reside, I'm guessing that was a new development after Felicia and Connol died? We know Powder and Vi ended up living in the basement of The Last Drop, which I assume is because Vander was working there while looking after them and they were too young to live on their own. I guess others who were involved in the riot might have down lived there too, and it became abandoned when they all died? Or everyone else who lived there just got gradually driven out? Maybe there was a collapse or some similar catastrophe that destroyed everything down there and made it unlivable?

On the question of air quality, I actually don't think the air is that bad there. We see that the Enforcers wear masks in early Season 1 when Vander is in power, while none of the Topsiders who go down there during Silco's era ever have an issue - Caitlyn, Marcus, Heimerdinger, etc. Caitlyn is even able to breathe fine when walking among the Shimmer addicts, and Vi and Jinx have no issue walking through the mining tunnels in the Sump despite Jinx struggling to breathe the Grey earlier in the season. What confuses me most is why Silco is able to tolerate the Grey just fine, while the chembarons aren't, if most of them started out in the mines just like he did. Sevika and Jinx both spend a lot of time on the same level as Silco and neither of them have the same tolerance that he does. I don't think Sevika was a miner though, judging by the way she talks about her dad (she describes it as though it's new information to Silco, implying that they didn't know each other until she was a bit older), and Jinx definitely wasn't either; so I guess it's just a combination of Silco growing up in the mines and continuing to live quite deep in the underground, when no one else seems to have both of those things in common. Ekko does say that the air is "denser" in the Fissures, so it's definitely different to the air on the upper levels/in Piltover, even if it's not quite as toxic anymore.

Also, re: one of the chembarons being a Piltie, it's specified in The Council Archives that Chross is from Piltover - again, I don't think these are regarded as strictly canon, but it could help to answer that question. It does strike me as strange that Silco's speech wouldn't necessarily apply to all of them, especially since the lines about giving them fresh air and purpose are spoken directly to Finn. One possible solution is that, like Felicia and Connol, Finn and/or his family were still working in the mines around the time of Silco and Vander's reign (and I presume Vander's solo reign as well), and it was only once Silco took over that the underground mining operations were entirely shut down. That doesn't seem like enough time for Finn to be "too young to remember" though, so maybe Silco and Vander closed down some of the more dangerous mining tunnels. I do agree that Finn's "enterprise" line probably refers to the smuggling/trading focus during the golden age of V & S, since the Lanes are described as a marketplace. Vander and Silco essentially made it possible for Zaunites to make money in their own right, without relying on Topside for resources, but that potential was capped under Vander with the crackdown on smuggling ("keep your people off my streets", per Grayson in S1E1) - hence Finn's frustration.

I agree with both Vander and Silco taking protection money, and I could see Vander channelling at least a portion of his money back into the community. Babette tells Vi "things have changed without Vander looking out for us" (S1E5), and everyone in The Last Drop gets up from their seats when he appears to need backup - once when he's helping out Huck in S1E1, and once when Marcus taunts him about Silco in S1E2. I don't know precisely what else he was financing outside of the bar, but I get the impression that he didn't have a ton left over for himself and his kids at the end of it; probably enough to live comfortably, but not enough to fund a life of excess. In Silco’s case, Babette says that "a few tried" to stop him, but he's "got the muscle... and the money", so it sounds like Silco had to put a lot of his resources into keeping people in line. He seems to spend more money on himself than Vander did (he has much nicer clothes after S1 Act 1 and a limousine parked out the front of The Last Drop), but he still lives on the lower level, rather than close to the surface like the chembarons do, and it looks like he sleeps on the couch in his office judging by the blanket.

I think as far as Vi going after Vander herself, the best possible explanations are either that she had the most faith in her ability over those of Vander's allies (she's pretty stubborn and self-reliant, and may have deemed it quicker/safer/more reliable to go there immediately rather than waste time trying to recruit someone else to do it for her), or that she just outright didn't know about Vander's dealings (she didn't know about his deal with Grayson, so there's probably a lot that he was keeping from the kids).

@sorceressofthesky

I hope it's okay that I pull this out as the threads can have a tendency to get very long :)

Personally, I find it super hard to buy that that Silco was the one who talked Caitlyn's mom into building the ventilation systems after he took over from Vander.

Part of it is: if Silco was that good at talking to the council and getting them to do pro-Zaun things, why would he stop talking to them? Especially since season 1 shows how easily the council can be swayed into granting Zaun independence. I always read it as Silco not being interested in the council and not paying much attention to it, maybe because he has a low opinion of it. If he was already that involved with the council in the past, it just seems like big events from Jayce becoming a councilor, Heimerdinger being ousted or the Piltover reaction to the bridge massacre would be something he would show more interest in then he does.

The other part of it is that the Kiramman vents just … feel older? From the pathos of Caitlyn being handed the Kiramman key like it's a family tradition to the picture that presumably show the vents being opened. Either by a young Cassandra or by some even older ancestor. It just seems like if the vents were being built not just within Caitlyn's lifetime but also while Caitlyn is already pretty grown, it just seems like that would have come up?

The women is opening the vents together with miners in the background, evoking more the young Silco and Vander era.

And she's wearing the same or a very similar outfit to the portrait in the middle which is why people think either very young Cassandra or Cassandra's mother.

I'm not sure if I find the idea that Cassandra wouldn't know about the plight of the undercity just because tha very sheltered girl like Caitlyn didn't know all that plausible. We know she is sheltered because Cassandra even ordered for her to do boring prestige guard duty than even encounter just crime in Piltover. So if she has never been to the undercity and the papers don't write about it, how would she know?

And while the Pilties maybe are unlikely to casually care about the plight of the Zaunites, árguably them caring if it impacts their business is well in character (there's this really cool WIP by @out-there-tmblr that is just doing a plot about how the mines dug to deep, the Gray is getting worse so miners are start refusing to work those particular shafts so the Piltie engineers are coming in to install vents that imo feels plausible in "that's what Pilties would do" way).

And again, if Silco was responsible for it, why wouldn't he show up in those pictures compared to the Kiramman woman posing with miners? (it doesn't help that modern Zaun feels like it's more about factories than about mines)

So yes, I definitely leaning towards the vents being older based on the look of the Kiramman woman. But it being done within Vander and Silco's youth I think is an interesting idea.

I personally find it generally confusing how bad the air situation is. Yes the enforcers wear masks in Act 1, but none of the locals do. Then we have the sumps. The implications are that the sumps are low and "the bad parts" right?

So a headcanon could be something like:

Silco and Vander and some of the chem barons are young => The Gray is bad.

Cassandra installs the vents => air quality gets better. Maybe sections that weren't livable before are livable now.

Silco and Vander take their mining knowledge and maybe carve a middle section, somewhere between the upper levels that are already lived in by people and maybe too expensive and the sump that is still dark and shitty to live in.

There being more air systems in Silco's time could be advances in technology or it could be the factories causing a new, different type of pollution?

(an interesting facette here is the AU where the air is clearly much better but the implication is that it's done with more plant/nature based technology rather than more chemtechy one)

[complete side note, due to the 3 years Heimer has been there my head canon for the AU is that Silco and Vander reunited over Vi's death, together they made political advacements and that after a while in Heimer arrives and gave them a boost in regards to technology]

Silco saying to the chem barons he brought them up and gave them "a taste of topside" could also be explained by

the literally moved them from the lower levels to the higher levels (either by moving them to the lanes or by making them so rich that they can live even in the areas above the Lanes, just like their meeting tower is very high up even while Silco is the one who stil lives far down) after Vander was killed because they for some reason were stuck down there

or all people that lived lower moved to the Lanes when Silco and Vander "built the lanes".

or maybe a young Silco was among the miners that convinced the Kiramann's to build the vents

Finn's line is interesting, because it doesn't sound like Silco pulled him from the mines/depths. It sounds more like he was around during Vander's time watching from the sidelines and not liking how Vander was doign things. As opposed to he lived elsewhere and was lifted up.

But he also looks a bit younger, so he has a different backstory than the others (but there's generally the problem that I think the Caitlyn files said that at least one chembaron is actually a Piltie, so wouldn't at least that guy have a different backstory than the other chem barons? so when he's giving his speech to the chem barons there's at least two people in the room to whom that speech doesn't really apply?) . After all we have the "You're too young to remember what the undercity was before it became an "enterprise"."

So this exchange suggests:

there was a time where the Undercity was a lot more primitive and Vander does remember it but Finn is too young

but already under Vander the undercity became more like an enterprise (maybe because Vander and Silco turned the Lanes into a more smuggling/trade based economy rather than a mining/producing based one, or maybe also because of the protection money) at least in Finn's eyes, or at least he thought it had the potential to be one if run better

Another thing I find confusing is okay, so there's the region where the shimmer addicts live, right? And the implication to me was that is the bad part of Zaun? The part where the air is bad, where the lowest of the low live, that's why Jesus!Viktor goes there to make his commune.

But according to season 1, this is where Vi, Powder, Connel and Felicia lived. Ie the place where presumably all the fluffy Powder and Vi as kids memories from the Remember Me flashback take place. At first I thought maybe that place was like just a shack where maybe they just played and Felicia made the height charts, but it looks like a comparatively nice house with a staircase and ornaments?

Again, if this the shitty place of the Undercity, why would Vander and Silco's cherished friend live there when the Last Drop was available?

Benzo talks to Vander about "rounding up the collections",

Yes, just like Sevika talks about doing the same for Silco in season 2.

IMO both Silco and Vander were taking protection money. I personally think that they both can be seen as as a system of proto-taxes and it's more a question whether people got anything back from it. Maybe that's a reason why Vander seemed to be more popular with the people, if people saw it more as Vander building up infrastructure/houses for them while with Silco the money goes more towards building up factories or making weapons. (with factories likely being useful infrastructure as well, but maybe people don't see it because it's more indirect).

But that's kind of an interesting question in itself: What does Vander spend his money on? He seems to be living a well enough maybe "middle-class-y" lifestyle with his kids, but Vi certainly doesn't feel rich, hence her rants about how they have nothing compared to Pilties.

I would presume he has an income from the bar. So if he the bar money and the collection money, was is the money being spent on? Paying the guys who do the collections? Maybe they serve as guards/police against those unwanted elements that according to Jinx's season 2 line started fighting as soon as Vander was gone? But if Vander has like organized supporters, why on earth did Vi think it was a good idea to collect her kid brothers as support to spring Vander free from Silco rather than fetch whatever remaining allies Vander might have had? Or at the "guys" Benzo speaks off more like loose contractors, maybe not even particularly powerful people and people pay their taxes just out of fear of Vander?

(I have played around with the idea that maybe Vander spends the and Silco is more the "I will build a factory that gives you employment so you can make your own money" guy) collections on more charitable things like families in need () and that's why people remember him fondly. But with the whole "build the lanes" thing, maybe there's a chance that there are still building projects/they are still expanding? I think a big thing with the whole "building the lanes" in an engineering way that I just don't pictured neither Vander not Silco as that much of a construction/engineering guy, but who knows. Maybe just Zaunite ingenuity again)

[oflgtfol]

ok so i hate writing intelligent posts abt malevolent bc im scared of posting theories that are stupid and wrong but like. im feeling that the eponymous fallen star of the order of the fallen star. is john. like this is a cult not about the king in yellow like that in season 1, but instead about the “fallen star” that fragmented off the king. Augh

[gilfrespecter]

Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous

Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really

[lisbonsteresa]

i'm going to SCREAM

[iguessitsjustme]

For someone who doesn't want anyone's pity, Day sure lets everyone else do all of the emotional labor for him