#it even worked for him EARLIER IN THE SEASON

[shinkei-shinto]

Let's see if I can add MORE confusion in with my previous close reading of every single book in the series so that I could write my own Redwall novel!*

I see that you OP have heard of The Cookbook but for everybeast else: there's a cookbook! Most of the recipes are extremely simplistic but we'll get to why I think that is in a second.

WRT dairy: they make mention of "greensap milk" and I don't think any of their cheese comes without nuts. In ahhhh the one with the badger and his hawk, they talk more deeply about how cheeses are made (after you have the cheese) including wrapping them in nettles. So I Guess So since it apparently acts Just Like Dairy Cheese.

Yes! We are! Society doesn't exist yet! If you look at the books in chronological order, they move from using spears and sharpened stakes to swords and daggers and simple bows, and - in the last couple of books - crossbows. There's only one smithy and it's made in a dormant/dead volcano. They're literally just not that advanced at this point (although who knows where this would have gone if Jacques had been able to continue!) In earlier books, he refers to various tribes of species all living together in groups, such as squirrels in bands of trees, or the molehill of the Longladle family. Actually circling back to this there *is* one society that sort of rises up as a "city" -- in the Rogue Crew. There's a group of peaceable beasts who all live (mixed!) together in an enclosed sort of fort. It's one of the only other mixed-species places that exist, besides the Abbey and technically Salamandastron. (does Martin's temporary home have other species? I can't remember.) So this is also why I think recipes are a little simplistic. While they have so many vegetables (and don't UTILIZE THEM why are potatoes ONLY USED IN DEEPER'N'EVER PIE!? HUH??!) I think we're given to assume those are local and grown in their own ground, and they don't. have. spices/trade/etc yet.

*I* think the only idea of 'currency' is 'the currency of goodbeasts to do slave labor'. I think this one I would lean more heavily into "he was telling these stories to children" as an excuse; kids don't want to hear about money and capitalism they want to hear about pirates and heroes. But I also find this aspect of society confusing so I was mostly glad we didn't have to deal with money.

There's a bread dimension. That's my only excuse. As far as we know, the Abbey is very large - the front gates are tall enough to admit a full sized ship on wheels (a casualty of one mast) which is able to roll fully into the Abbey, hit a tree, and stop, without ever coming within weapons range of the front doors. We know there are lawns on either side of this path, a graveyard, a small-to-medium-sized spring-fed-lake, and a generous orchard. I assume Jacques was modeling this after abbeys in Europe/England, which I don't know jack and shit about, but that they did live there year round. shrug? I will note that there is a scene in a book (no I don't remember which one) where a gardener explains to a peer that 'we don't plant or harvest it all at once because then we'd have a bumper crop of parsley and what use is that? by planting some seedlings now, some later, we will have parsley throughout the season instead' so he was thinking about it, at least, even if it doesn't quite work out to reality terms. but there's just a fucking bread dimension, there just has to be, there's not enough room to grow the plants needed nor mills to grind them nor processing or ever making or even mention of flour. I GUESS we could talk about nutflour and other flour-like-flowers which the mice would have access to but BREAD DIMENSION. This was my one concession in my writing, I gave myself an out here because it drove me NUTS.

I don't think Jacques ever thought about this. We get ONE instance of a mouse adopting a. rat? what the hell is he. I think he wasn't the same species, I don't remember that one well, but there's him and Tagg, and that's "otter adopted by vermin" which isn't quite this either. I think this is probably another "kids story concession" which isn't an answer I like to give but it's the best I've got.

ha! ha! he actually retconned this! if you read Redwall the first book, he makes mention of several species (beaver? horse) which are WIPED FROM EXISTENCE in the rest of the series. There is a cart drawn by a horse which makes it seem like the mice and rats are living in a world with humans & human-sized equipment but that is RETCONNED. I do think the trees vary in size because we have various scenes of "two maidens bound hand-to-hand around a tree to keep them confined for the night" and "tied all [4-6?] of the vermin together with their belts, around a tree" in various locations in Mossflower and its environs. I don't? think? we ever hear of trees large enough to be giants to mice like they would in our reality. an addendum to this: I have never bloody been able to figure out the size of the fish. shrimps are the size of shrimp to us because otters eventually 'Skipper popped one in his mouth' in the kitchens which gives us an idea of how large they are to otters, at least. but fish??? ha. HA! we have the feast-day fish catching where multiple beasts are needed to reel in a huge trout or carp. we have pike, which are enormous man-eaters (mice-eaters?) but can also be beat to shit by a big otter and his rudder (Lord Brocktree iirc) and there is one kept as a tame uh, "pet", by an otter tribe. there is ALSO the wolf question. Gods know I don't remember which one this is but there's a book where a ... big fox? i think he is? is up far north, and he finds a dead wolf? and takes its skull and pelt and puts knives in for the claws? or some such. so we DO have extra-large-predators like wolves and wolverine, but then when we get. to the wildcats. oh the wildcats. they drive me NUTS. by rights they should be as big as badgers? when Martin fights Verdauga it feels like Martin is half the size of the cat? but then in every other way the cats seem to be as big as otters! or hares! uugghhh. BIRDS TOO birds are WILDLY inconsistent in size, I don't know how a mouse helps an osprey re-set his wing nor how a mousebabe rides on a flying eagle's head without disappearing.

do I have any burning questions still. hmm. OH I want to know what they make! their clothing! out of!!! WHAT IS IT. I also want answers about the far west, the scorpion??? and lizards??? as well as what the other side of the continent towards the east looks like, because in Martin's history we get to visit that coast AND we learn of several locations (TM) like Noonvale, which are never referred to again.

which BLOWS MY MIND because he made Brockhall + Castle Kotir literally affect the landscape temporally throughout his books. Brockhall is discovered and rediscovered and lost again and again, and Kotir eventually rises from the dead to menace the Abbey wall because fucking Germaine built a wall over the top of it when it sank into a mire. MA'AM. Even when we get to Doomwyte, the cavern they are in is a cavern mentioned in earlier texts! this is not our first interaction with the deep deep fissure in the earth that emits green gas!!!

oh and The Tapestry. I have so many questions about the tapestry. canonically the image of Martin was sewn by his (mother? wife? someone) and preserved through many things to eventually be set as the 'cornerstone' for the tapestry. And it "depicts vermin fleeing from him in all directions" and his "calm easy face" which seems to smile at Redwallers etc etc. but then. the SWORD. sometimes it it set next to the tapestry which to me makes sense; held vertically along the side it is accessible to many but not to babes. I don't think it is ever placed below the tapestry. but it IS placed ABOVE and there is a part where a goodbeast does acrobatic parkour to SNATCH IT FROM THE NAILS and I want to know HOW??? how big is the tapestry. how did you get that. is it landscape or portrait. what. WHAT. also where did the shield go! where did the sheath go! those were so important aaagaggghhhhhh.

Okay that's it I think I'm done. I hope any of this was useful or amusing, or better yet caused more chaos and questions 👍

^* I did in fact write most of this, 50k/100k words over two NaNos, but I could never get anyone to fucking read it or give me any feedback, despite handing out the first fifteen chapters to like seven people, so I lost steam. So if you're reading this and going "wow! I sure would like to read even more Redwall content and I would LOVE to get into in-depth discussions of shit in a fanbook, this sounds like a great way to build community," HI PICK ME.

hobbies include: close reading the Redwall series to answer my most burning questions. such as:

- can I replicate any of these delicious-sounding foodstuffs and would they in fact be delicious if I was able to

- corollary to the above: are we just supposed to read “oat cream” and “nut cheese” every time we see the words “cream” and “cheese”? I think so. bc if not, what tha hell are their livestock animals

- what is Society like? I don’t think we ever see a Mouse City or even Mouse Town though we do see castles and obviously an abbey. are we supposed to believe that most creatures are either in wandering bands or these societies based around a single structure (castle/abbey?)

- they appear to have an idea of what currency is (the bad guys always want treasure — maybe just to have, not to sell? but less ambiguous is some dialogue I just read, “acorn for your thoughts?” “you can have them for free”) but again, we never see anyone using money or making goods for the market. is this after the fall of Mouse Capitalism? are the bad guys (the idea of rat pirates gives me a headache, vis a vis the political/economic systems needed to power piracy) raiding preindustrial mouse societies for treasure/meat?

- corollary to the above: the abbey creatures have oats and wheat but we don’t see anybody farming or trading for farm goods on a large enough scale. is the abbey “orchard” really a like an indigenous forest farm of mixed foodstuffs? is that possible if you live in the same place the whole year or only if you travel each season? I have to do some googling

- both the lack of mixed-species families and the idea of mixed-species families give me a headache. has a squirrel never fallen for a handsome otter? what is the culture shock like if you marry into a subterranean mole family?

- this is the least ���important” question but this read through I’ve been desperately trying to figure out What Size Everything Else Is. i’ve come to the conclusion that everything other than animals are at mouse scale, given that they can make seaworthy vessels their own size (a mouse sized vessel with real-world-sized waves seems impossible) and pick and eat apples and plums. but so far it seems like they’ve avoided mentioning how tall trees are — like a person compared to a tree or a mouse compared to a tree?

[zorosnavigator]

Need to talk about Ekko actually.

Its the way he did not abandon 'true paradise' or his 'perfect waifu' over his 'shittier' world. He leaves because he do not belong here. Yes, he let himself live for a few days (after freaking out, and nearly attacking Powder mind you) 'selfishly' for lack of better word, truly, a few moments of joy and peace with her and even then. even then. there's always this constant reminder like a tick tick of a bomb, that his time is running out and fast ah, the more they're advancing in building Ekko's Z-Drive and the thing to come back in the og verse, the more is departure is nearing. the endgame always was for him to come back to his own universe. (these joyful moments with AU Powder represent what could have been, bc he knows deep down the 'relationship' he has with this Powder here would and will never replicate what he has with Jinx, or what could be in the future with Jinx. It's both regrets of what he could have done earlier to help her and seizing the happiness of what the AU is offering him, a glimpse of Another life.) So he does not abandon jackshit: he leaves because he actively chooses Zaun. Jinx. The Firelights.

For all the shitty things happening in his own universe, it's his world!! the one he worked his ass off to make a better place, his own paradise he succeded to create with others (however little the writers have shown us this season) against all form of corruption, the cops, the constant oppression, the inequality and if you think that he would have give up all of that for AU Powder then i fear you do not get him.

in short, Ekko does not belong in the AU more than AU Ekko would have belonged in the og universe!

and i repeat myself but helping Jinx aside, Ekko would NOT have stayed in the AU because my man loves his community, the Tree, loves what he built with the Firelights and how he contribued to make it a better place in the middle of a shimmered Zaun! so he will continue to do so!

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 95 (Meeting Clones in Henford-on-Bagley?!)

Despite her late Friday arrival, Heather's family welcomed her and Lavender with open arms. Winterfest wasn't far away and they planned to return for the holidays, but between guilt trips from father Neal and the birth of her second nephew, Heather had returned to her childhood home in Henford-on-Bagley for a weekend visit.

The towns were only an hour apart on the Simmerloop Superhighway, but climate in Simlandia can be strange sometimes. While coastal Brindleton Bay was coated in snow from the first day of winter to the last every year, Henford winters were grey and rainy, which usually helped Daisy's winter garden grow just as plentiful as any other season.

Daisy excitedly bounced Lavender in her arms while she caught up with her eldest child. "The Winter Harvest Festival is this weekend. Did you bring your produce?"

Heather nodded. "Thank you for letting us come one night early."

"You're always welcome, Buttercup. And how is my gorgeous granddaughter?"

"She learned to grab her toes earlier this week, and we think she's just about ready to sit on her own." Bragging about her daughter's milestones was a welcome distraction.

Heather was grateful her family didn't press her for details of her early arrival this evening. River was too busy teaching Michael not to empty his mother's paint tubes on the floor while Cass tried to get Sammy fed. Neal and Daisy were working in their garden, since their exotic produce could always draw a bit of a crowd on Finchwick Fair days.

Heather wanted to get Lavender back to bed and figure out her feelings after Conrad's confession at the dinner table. But as often as she leaned on her family, advice was the last thing she wanted right now.

She cuddled her nephews, helping River and Cass get Michael bathed and ready for bed. She stayed up late waiting for Conrad's call, though she dreaded talking to him just the same.

She wanted to be so much angrier at Conrad than she was. About the lies - over a criminal ex-girlfriend, no less - and about a lack of trust, but in truth she was already ready to forgive him. Almost. She knew what it was like to be under the spell of someone who was wrong for you. And she knew Conrad to protect those he loved with a passion she attributed to his inability to save his mother when he was young.

He'd earned the benefit of doubt, but she wanted him to know he could trust her to handle even the darkest parts of himself and his past. They were a team, through thick and thin. That's why they were getting married, wasn't it?

But she didn't want him to think he could make her fold so easily, and wanted to wait until they were together again to completely forgive him. So their phone call was short, but not devoid of their usual 'I love you.'

The next morning, her family was ready to pry into the reasons for her early arrival, and her father and brother cornered her after breakfast. "I told you Conrad went to work and he'd be investigating a d-e-a-d body all night. He wanted us to come early." She spoke carefully because four-year-old Michael was in the room.

"Is that out of the ordinary?" asked her father.

"There aren't a lot of cases like it in Brindleton Bay."

Neal scoffed. "Isn't his fancy security system enough to keep you safe? Why didn't he want you in town?"

"It's a dangerous case, and he's just worried about us."

"He lied to you, didn't he." River could read through any facade. "And now you're lying for him."

"River, please," she begged. "It's not like that."

He shot her a knowing look. "Yes it is."

She needed to be alone with her thoughts, so her family agreed to watch Lavender while she played in the yard with the family's elder dog, Bernadette, and rambunctious Michael. She focused on his childlike giggles before he went back inside to find his parents.

Taking advantage of the lonely moment, she wandered around Finchwick. The sun had come out and she soaked in the nostalgia of her hometown. Air crisp and dry, the world was quiet. She needed this.

It was still early when she heard the familiar clatter of metal - the sound of local grocers and gardeners opening their stalls to sell fresh saplings and produce to local growers.

With plans to rebuild her clinic in draft stages, Heather needed to make sure she had enough to pay the architect on completion, and she'd saved up enough for a money fruit seed. The purchase was extravagant and she should have run it by Conrad first, but she was mad enough at him to make this decision by herself.

It was an investment in her own clinic and her children's futures, anyway. Growing a money fruit tree - properly caring for and cultivating it - was a more honest way to make simoleons than the Landgraabs were doing, even if it felt like an unfair advantage reserved only for those who could afford it.

Yet with purpose she approached the flower stall with its green awning, where Everett's grandmothers, Agnes and Agatha Crumpcakes, sold seeds and blooms for decades before their deaths. Pulling out her wallet, she approached the stand ready to greet the new owners with a friendly Henford hello, only to find herself face-to-face with...Agnes Crumpcakes?

She was shocked to see none other than Everett's grandmother - (formerly?) deceased, now alive and well behind the stall curtain. "Heather Nesbitt!" she greeted warmly. "It's been too many years. How's your son, Ash?"

"He's great! So smart..." She stammered as she placed the purchased seeds in her pocket. "Mrs. Crumpcakes, is it really you? I thought you and Agatha passed away. I was so sorry to miss the funeral."

"Oh! We did die, dear. But we knew before we passed that we couldn't face an uncertain eternity without one another, so we contacted a scientist in Newcrest named Aileen Blackburn. She's slightly mad, but I mean that as a compliment - not least because she offered to clone us," explained Agnes. "She even let us keep our memories! But this time we weren't born, so we can't die. We can't even get sick now!"

Heather listened, awestruck. "Wow, Mrs. Crumpcakes, she sounds kind of amazing."

"She is! And as memory serves, I can say quite objectively she's gorgeous, too. But Agatha and I jumped at the chance for immortality knowing we'd be together. We'll never need to face saying goodbye to one another again. And the whole process was almost entirely painless."

The idea didn't sound romantic to Heather at all. Would she really want to live forever as a zombie clone to outlive her own children? Watcher, no! But she wouldn't judge Agnes and Agatha Crumpcakes for their choices.

Strange as it was, as Heather reacquainted herself with the old clones running the flower stall, she felt as though she'd known them all her life. And maybe she had...sort of.

Heather loved coming home, but as the Finchwick Fair began and the square started filling with locals, she knew her heart was in Brindleton Bay investigating a murder case. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

RECAP: I made Agatha and Agnes married and playable when I started this save - they're not cousins don't worry! - made Agatha the mother of Bob Pancakes and Agnes his stepmom (with MCCC!), and that's how I learned all the other Henford NPCs get replaced with new sims, but Agnes and Agatha get cloned. So I've actually been playing about 30 sim-years with two versions of both and I've just pretended they're the same person. I came up with the clones thing before Agnes and Agatha's playable sims died because I must have an outlandish reason why they're still around. As I got deeper into reading the adventures of mad scientist Aileen Blackburn and her family, it was obvious to me who was behind it!

In this scene Heather really is meeting the NPCs for the first time and of course Agnes loves her immediately because she's unflirty. That hug was completed Agnes-initiated!

THANK YOU @dreamyyesenia for letting me shout out the mad brilliance that is Aileen Blackburn and your epic, stunning save file! I hope you love that its now canon for me that she's the reason the Crumplebottom ladies never, ever, ever die... 😂

NOTE: When I say I will find a way to crossover mention all your stories and save files eventually (with your permission!), I very likely mean it. 😂

[hannamoon143]

Snow & Sun (Chapter I)

Barista, musician han x Writer fem. Reader

Angst, Fluff probably

Warnings: idk uh rude comments?

⋆⁺₊❅。You are like snow, beautiful but cold ⋆⁺₊❅。

Snow is so beautiful looking, that sometimes people can't resist to touch it. But when their hands and the white crystals meet, they get shaken back to reality. Snow gets to be mesmerizing like nothing else, but it's cold. Ice cold.

Snow & Sun Masterlist

a/n: idk how i like this, but it‘s kinda just getting into the story. I‘m looking forward to the real angst😼

*Sigh* Han put on his shirt, getting ready for another day of work. Another day of endless thinking and boredom.

It wasn‘t that his life was so bad. He was a decent music producer and singer- well not quite there yet, but he was working on becoming one. He had the little, cozy cafe with his best friend minho, that grew close to his heart by time. It was just, everything was always the same.

Han had always been the more quiet kid. When he was still at school he was the weird guy sitting somewhere alone, listening to music, when the other kids were having lunch with their friends. He never really intended to change this though . He didn‘t like being surrounded by many people anyways, and he actually pretty much enjoyed his quiet little life. Well that was until minho showed up in seventh grade and kinda just adopted him. He never protested, and since then, they were best friends. But except minho, and some people that minho introduced to him sometime, he never bothered about getting a more active social life. When he finished school that didn‘t change so much. He went to university, studying music, and in his free time he was either playing guitar or writing songs. Then in last year in university minho came up with the idea to open a little coffee shop, to gain some money while studying, and now, two years later he was still working here. It was pretty nice, to just gain a bit money, while he was working to get a producer and singer.

So yes, he did like his life. But lately it seemed a bit boring. His whole life he didn‘t reallly interact with people much, his parents barely home too. Somewhere deep inside he maybe always longed for a bit more, but he just made peace with himself someday, that he just wasn‘t the type of person people would ask to hangout randomly, and making bonds that would break anyways was pointless.

He left his apartment that he shared with minho, walking to the not so far away cofee shop. It was getting cold again, the last pieces of summer faded by now. Leaves were brown, laying around on the streets. Jisung liked the cold seasons, but he also hated them. Every single one of the earlier so wonderful flowers died then. Sometimes it felt like this for him too. When it was getting colder and cloudier outside again, jisung just kinda always started to overthink more, and he started to feel tired, and empty. Why? He actually didn’t have a single idea.

Minho mostly went to work a bit earlier, to get things ready and open the cafe. When jisung came in, minho was just turning on the „open“ sign. „Ah, see who is here too, after i‘m already here for an hour.“ Minho said sarcastically, but jisung just pat his shoulder and went behind the counter. Minho sensed that jisungs mood wasn‘t the best today, and after all these years, he knew it was better to just give him his space.

Soon customers rushed in, some for breakfast, some for a coffee before work, some students to meet up before school. Jisung liked to watch people, in a non creepy way. He liked to see how they laughed at little things their friends said, or the way people blushed when their partner laid their hand above theirs. He just loved watch humans being humans, as weird as it sounded.

It was these little things that inspired him for songs, or gave him a small reason to be happy. That was probably the reason, why he even agreed to have the coffee shop with minho in the first place.

Today was no different, jisungs mood began to lighten up while watching an old couple come in, being happy about the difference of the cold outside, and the warmth of the cafe, and just laughing at things the other one said. He went to their table to take their order, then hurrying back behind the counter quickly to make them green tea. As he turned to the front again, placing the cups on a tablet the doorbell rang. Jisung didn‘t look up just saying „Minho, you taking the order?“ But minho didn’t respond, seemingly somewhere in the back right now. He sensed the person standing in front of the counter now, so he was about to tell them to wait until he brought the old pair their order. But then he looked up.

Minho always laughed at these scenes in romance movies where suddenly everything is slow motion when someone meets and it‘s „Love on the first sight.“ Jisung never really thought about them, but in this moment, he had no doubt that these movies were totally for real. It was as if the whole world stayed silent for a split moment when he looked at you.

You weren‘t just some pretty girl at the coffee shop, jisung had seen those before. You were mesmerizing. Your eyes were deep like the ocean, and your hair shiny as if you just sprung out a shampoo advertisement. There were other people in the cafe, and it must have started to snowrain outside, but nothing of this, or anything at all mattered right now. There was just you.

He must have stared a bit longer than just a little moment, because you raised your brow, looking at him skeptical. „Are you gonna take my order or are you being paid for standing there like a sculpture?“

Jisung immediately got shaken out of his freeze, mumbling apologizes. You just rolled your eyes and without another word you said „black coffee.“ and you went away, to sit down on one of the tables in the back. Your voice was unbelievably pretty too, it sounded like an angels voice, clear and captivating. Jisung must have stared after you again because suddenly minho was looking over his shoulder, whispering: „Who are we stalking today?“ Jisung jumped and turned around blushing deeply. Minho frowned but jisung just went to get your order, the order of the old cute couple entirely forgotten. Minho hadn‘t seen him flustered like this before, but decided not to think too much into it.

With trembling hands jisung was making your order. What was going on with him? He had crushes before, but they never got him this flustered. And how could he even speak of a crush when he knew you for five minutes only?Not only your incredibly beauty, but there was something else that mesmerized him. But what? He had to be stupid, he didn‘t even know you. Finally, as he was done with your order, he braced himself and walked over to your table. It didn‘t seem like you were waiting for anyone. Instead you had your laptop placed on the table, working something on it. As he got nearer and clumsily placed your coffee on the table (god, he was so nervous, he almost spilled it on you. If he would have, he was sure to die out of embarassment though.) he couldn‘t help but take a look at your laptop. There was a document opened, and you were writing on it, not even giving him thes lightest attention, or thank you.

Jisung had no idea what got into him, or since when he was so brave but he blurted out „What are you working on?“ You didn‘t know him, and he wasn‘t even sure if you had seen he was standing there, but you didn‘t even wince. Still writing on your word document you slowly said: „Why would i give out information of my latest work to a stranger? I‘m a professional,, barista boy.“ Your tone was cold, it sounded like you were thinking he was a total weirdo, but for some reason it made his stomach flutter. The poor boy got very flustered again, and he mumbled apologies, and how he wasn‘t a creep or something. But you didn‘t give him any more attention. So he just walked back to the counter with red ear tips, and the thought that he just embarassed himself in the most stupid way, on his first ever interction with you.

He was so deep in thought that he didn‘t even see minho standing there with a smirk and a raised brow. Jisung ran straight into him, stumbling a bit. Minho just laughed leaning in. „Do you know this woman? Do you like her hannie?“ If somehow possible jisung blushed even more, pobably looking like a tomato now. He was praying that you weren’t seeing him right now. He covered minho‘s mouth, looking over to you, to see if you heard him. But you were engrossed in your work, ignoring everything else. Jisung shot minho a glare and then just walked away. Minho would let him go for now, but later at home he would squeeze every information out of him.

For the rest of the time you were sitting there, not a single time looking up from your writing. You were just like himself, when he was working on a song, jisung thought. Embarassed to the ground, he didn‘t want to take a step near to your table anymore, so minho had to take almost all orders. Then, when you were standing up after almost three hours, of writing, and only a black coffee, you just took your laptop, put your coat on and turned around, walking out the door. Jisung had no idea if he would ever see you again. He wouldn‘t come back here himself if a barista was being such a creep. But still he couldn‘t help but hope. He couldn‘t help but hope to see that beautiful, mean girl with the writing again.

Permanent Taglist: @0omillo0 @darqlys @lina-linny @onementally-unstabel-kid

@idek6758 @kozumesphone @emilywjinnie @sadie-tucker

Series taglist : @catiuskaa @asherthehimbo @estella-novella @thoughtfularbiternightmare

[ultimate-shipper-trash-blog]

This insane steddie au ft. Chrissy because I LOVE season 3 steddie aus and I will eat them all up istg

Yes this was deleted and I had to rewrite it.

Damn. Another strike out.

He had been on a roll, he'd gotten three girls phone numbers and his hair hasn't moved an inch.

The last couple of hours however, have been humiliating.

Eddie's cackles still haunt him along with the squeak of the marker on the white board.

"You suck Harrington!"

"Yeah, yeah, just...go back to work you're not even supposed to cover the front."

He'd worked with Eddie for a month now. He still hasn't gotten a chance to have a decent conversation with him. Management decided someone like Eddie was better kept behind the counter, not visible to the public. This didn't leave a lot of time for Steve to start a game of twenty questions.

Steve is leaning on his palm, elbow on the counter. He's bored and keeping blowing a piece of hair out of his eye. He catches a glimmer blonde in the corner of his eye and quickly stands.

He makes direct eye contact with Chrissy Cunningham standing nervously in front of him, wringing her hands together.

This was gonna be easy.

"Hi Steve," she waves.

He narrows his eyes at her flirtatiously.

"Hi Chrissy. Here for something specific?"

He folds his arms across his chest in a way he knows shows off his muscles.

"It's, a- kind of complicated."

"Really?" He leans a little over the counter. "Anything I can help you with?"

Chrissy freezes up immediately.

Shit.

She looks nauseous.

"Is Eddie here?"

"Is Eddie- what."

The man himself push Steve to the side. He puts his head in his palm and his elbow on the counter.

"Hi sweetheart," he purrs.

Chrissy giggles.

"Hi Eddie."

"What can I do for you? Here for help with your little bird?"

"Eddie!" Chrissy punches Eddie's shoulder and gives Steve a side eye.

Eddie turns and glares at Steve.

"Excuse us your majesty but this is a private matter."

Steve can't even bring up that they're the ones that are taking up the public space. He's in too much shock. He heads to the backroom but sticks his head out just watching them.

He can't believe it! Chrissy Cunningham asking for Eddie?! His Eddie?! His...platonic coworker Eddie?!

What does she like about him? It's gotta be the hair. His dark curly hair that you could wrap your fingers in. Oh! His long guitarist fingers. Probably lined with callouses that feel so good when they rub your skin just right.

He probably plays her his shitty music that he plays for Steve in the backroom. He probably saves her extra scoops like he does for Steve. She probably enjoys looking at his eyes like Steve does. Eddie's eyes shine like amber in the light. So loud and expressive. Steve has a rock he likes to look at that reminds him of Eddie's eyes.

Eddie laughs a good hardy laugh. It's distracting.

Steve's never been able to make Eddie laugh. Eddie's only laughs at Steve.

God he wants him to look at him like that.

What.

You know what...

...

Steve sees the appeal.

---

Yes! Eddie is helping chrissy through a gay crisis. They simply had that talk in the woods a year earlier and decided they were perfect best friends.

Yes! Robin hasn't started working at scoops yet but Eddie convinces her to get the job just so he can wingman chrissy

Yes! Steve freaked out for about five seconds and then was completely fine with his crush on eddie

Steve also apologizes to Chrissy if he ever freaked her out and offers her a firm handshake to start off their friendship which chrissy happily takes.

Robin and Chrissy team up to get Steve and Eddie together

Platonic stobin all the way of course!

Yes this is shorter because I guess I deleted it the first time and rewrote it from memory.

[the-duchess-of-domination]

New Crush

There is nothing more exciting than having a new crush around Thanksgiving and Christmas.

You can’t help but think about him. You see him in classes, or at work, or at the bus stop. Maybe you play a sport together. Or DnD. Maybe he’s still a stranger. Maybe he isn’t. Maybe he’s fictional. Maybe he’s your current boyfriend. You can still crush on your current boyfriend.

Think about him eating.

Go ahead. You owe yourself that. Allow yourself to think about it. What does it look like when he eats? Is he a slow eater, the last left sitting at the table—or a fast eater, someone who gets seconds before most people get their firsts? Well, whatever the case, imagine him raising a fork to his lips and chewing his food. He looks so handsome when he eats, that cheeky glint in is eyes. He’s well behaved, isn’t he? So polite. He remembers his manners and never goes overboard.

Let’s change that. A new crush makes you think about all the things you’ve never seen but would kill to.

Imagine he’s sitting at a table—say, a Thanksgiving table. You’re a fly on the wall. He’s surrounded by his friends—or his family—or both. Whatever makes it more embarrassing.

Why, look at that. He’s got quite the plate in front of him: a towering mountain of mashed potatoes with whipped butter sliding down it, a river of gravy, carved seasoned turkey, massive crispy scoops of green bean casserole. there are several buttered rolls and a goblet of cranberry juice surrounding his plate.

don’t worry. you can laugh. there is no way he can eat that much, right?

well, it’s not for lack of trying.

think of him dipping a spoon into the mash and shoving it into his mouth. it’s rich and creamy on his tongue. he pays no mind to the people around him or the noises he’s making, little hums of satisfaction. what would that sound like coming out of your crush’s mouth? would it be deep and gruff? soft and pitchy?

now, i want you to think about him asking for someone to pass the butter. his plate is already swimming in butter and gravy but he just wants more, more, more. the more liquid, the easier it will slide down. he puts more butter on his mash potatoes, and while it melts he downs forkfuls of green bean casserole and turkey. he’s almost choking himself with how forceful he is. he coughs a little and washes everything down with a big gulp of cranberry juice.

he has these buttered rolls—what’s to stop him from making little sandwiches? he splits them in two and stuffs gravy-covered turkey into them, wolfing that down. it’s an interesting technique—but your crush is an interesting being to put it lightly. by now he’s cleared about half his plate. most people would stop here—

your crush does not. he’s going to lick that plate clean and ask what’s for dessert. it’s his favorite day of the year, the day he can pig out without judgement—however, this notion isn’t stopping whoever is at the table from casting glances at your crush.

at this point your crush has gone completely nonverbal. earlier he had been chiming in with his two cents every so often, talking rudely through a full mouth, but now he’s an eating machine. imagine what his belly looks like under the table. his legs are spread apart, and his belly is starting to bulge. it’s pulling him a bit forward. now he starts bouncing his knee, making his belly ripple a little. he reaches down, unseen by everyone, and fiddles with his pants. he’s wearing sweats with a tie. he pulls a string and undoes the bow, pulling his pants down a little to accommodate his expanding circumference. apparently he was prepared for this if his sweatpants are any indication.

it’s not that much relief, but it allows him to continue. he alternates between turkey and gravy and potatoes and green bean casserole. he eats and stuffs and crams and guzzles and gobbles. he laps his lips sensually before cramming the last of the potatoes into his mouth.

nobody is even ready for dessert yet, but your crush is insistent. tonight, he decides three slices of pumpkin pie and an apple dumpling are on the menu. everyone at the table cringes as your crush sprays whip cream over his dessert. he digs in without even a moment to breathe—

or a moment to digest.

1 slice gone. 2 slices gone. a brief intermission of apple dumpling. your crush is working on his third slice of pie. imagine your crush with full chipmunk cheeks. how cute would that look?

how cute would it look if he realized he was sick mid-swallow?

those sweets might as well be concrete in his gut. he’s eaten too much too fast and he knows it. imagine your crush pinned back against the chair, hand on his bloated belly as he cries out

“oohhhh. i ate too much.”

what would that phrase sound like coming out of your crush’s mouth? whiny and groany? urgent and fearful? prideful and unashamed?

so now your crush isn’t feeling so good. imagine what color his face would turn—would his cheeks go red or would he go pale? would his eyes be rolled back in his head? would he shut his eyes entirely? what would his mouth be shaped like? puckered and tight or lolling open with his tongue?

maybe your mind decides to move him to a more intimate space. he shuffles off to his bedroom, the living room just isn’t private enough. he lumbers slowly, not wanting to jostle his stomach anymore than necessary. does he burp? how loud is it? does it sound like a sick burp? a wet one? an airy one? regardless, get him to his bed, pronto. he’s starting to feel a bit nauseous.

your poor crush lies there with his hands on his stomach looking absolutely pitiful. his tummy is giving off little creaking sounds of pained digestion. it feels like his stomach is curdling and turning over. ohh, what an awful sensation. he would do anything for an antacid. he uses the last of his strength to pull up his shirt and rub circles on his exposed gut. your crush is squirming helplessly on his bed, moaning a little to himself. he’s a little dramatic, isn’t he?

now tell me—do you stay the fly on the wall to watch him suffer, or do you open the door and coo “oh, my poor baby.”

[feroshgirlsims]

Chapter 7.3 - You Can't Go Home

As they filter off the train, the smell of iron gets further away and Akira finally begins to relax.

He asks her a ton of questions, partly because he's curious and partly because he wants to keep the focus off himself. Alice is in the middle of talking about her class when her body goes rigid.

Akira scans for a threat but comes up empty. Train stations are generally pretty clear of supernatural creatures, except low-level spellcasters and baby vampires at night. They aren’t much use when you can transportalate, turn into a bat, or run for miles in wolf form. And the fae avoid them altogether. 

“You good?” 

She flinches when he reaches for her hand. “I-I’m fine,” Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Do you smoke? Weed, I mean, not cigarettes. I…I think I’m gonna smoke. Do you wanna come with me?”

“I thought you said you had to turn this assignment in,” he reminds her.

She stares across the platform, but he still can’t figure out what she’s looking at. 

“I’ll do it later. And you don’t have to come. That was weird of me to peer pressure you,” her laugh comes out high-pitched and wrong, “You're probably busy. I’m good. I’m gonna go. And you’ll go, and I’ll just see you later.”

She's babbling and her hands are shaking. There is no universe where he just leaves her like this.

“Yeah, I smoke," he takes her hand and leads her to the exit. "And I got time. No classes, remember?”

Akira has been to the Commons a few times (for creeper reasons), but he's never climbed the tower. The air is especially crisp, but Alice doesn't seem bothered by it.

Despite resisting earlier, he finds himself wishing she would extract some promise from him—some commitment to keep him tied to her. It's a terrible idea. He knows better. Akira has always been careful not to break one of the rules he’d learned by brute force.

“This is a shit weed,” he coughs.

“Hey!” Alice playfully points an accusatory finger, “I invite you to my secret perch and share my paltry stash, and you insult me?”

“You need a new dealer if this is your stash.”

“And a new bank account!” She laughs. “Try to chillax, my dude; you are working against the medicinal benefits.”

He tries. His lungs fill, but it takes three more rounds of coughing before he evens out. Alice, meanwhile, is a professional. She barely coughs, though she's had twice as much as him. He's not even sure she's high.

"Why photography?" he asks when she joins him on the bench.

"Most of the time, I get asked about painting; no one even thinks about photography."

He shrugs, "Your focus isn’t Fine Arts. Why am I gonna ask you about something you don’t do? You want me to guess?" When she nods, he waves a hand across the sky, pretending to paint a picture. "Art lets you remake the world in a more pleasing image, which is kind of nice because the world is shit. But you do photography because you want the shitty stuff upfront. No lies. You'd rather tango with the truth."

She straightens, suddenly alert. "Maybe. Kind of. But photography is also lies. All you do when you snap a picture is capture a moment in time. You can still tell yourself a story about the emotion you saw or what really happened. It's just a different kind of lie from painting."

The weed is definitely kicking in, but he likes her explanation.

"So what are you studying?" she asks.

Direct questions are the hardest to dodge. Especially now when he feels like he’s floating a hundred feet in the air. "I'm studying nothing," he says honestly. "I just follow what interests me."

"Why?"

"Because I have a lot of time." Infinite, actually, if he kept his head attached to his body and didn't end up on the wrong side of a curse.

"If I had time, that's what I'd do too. And catch up on back seasons of 7 Wild Dates."

Akira laughs, "Stop. I changed my mind. That show is moving to the bottom of my watch list."

“Don’t be mean!” Alice sticks out her tongue, "That's quality programming you're missing."

They smoke more and talk about nothing, which feels like talking about everything because Alice leaps from topic to topic. She knows a little about a vast number of subjects, like knowledge for her is a series of wading pools and she's just hopping from one body of water to another.

It's how Akira operates too. Once he gets the gist of something, he's ready to move on.

“Tell me one thing about you so you can stop accusing me of hanging out with a stranger," she says, "Where are you from?”

A flash of pink sky. 

A veil that never seems to part.

A home he can’t get back to.

The yearning is so real he jolts. “What if I told you that nothing about me or my life is what it seems? And because I don’t want to lie to you, you’re probably gonna find I won’t answer all your questions. Maybe any of them.”

Alice thinks for a minute. “I guess I’d say tell me what you can, not what you can’t.”

Akira wants to praise her wordplay. He wants to kiss her. He does neither.

“I love horror movies,” he confesses, “When I was like, 10, I snuck into the Moonlight Massacre Marathon at the theater downtown, and I was fuckin’ hooked.” 

The whole story comes tumbling out, even the part about Titania being a little shit and ratting him out to their parents. Alice laughs and complains about her step-sibling, and Akira viciously guards every drop of information she shares with him.

“I like horror movies too. If I throw in Moonlight Massacre II, will that elevate 7 Wild Dates on your watch list?”

His phone buzzes with a reminder about tonight’s job. He gets to his feet. “Next time,” he tells her.

“You promise?”

A promise is a dangerous thing. 

—A binding thing. 

A vow. 

No promises. 

Akira nods, “Yeah, I promise.”

PREV | NEXT

(Part 3 of 4)

[holdmymetaphor]

i know we all hate tritter but if we think about him as a metaphor instead of a person i think the arc is pretty interesting. especially when we look back at euphoria and note the themes about cops and power there.

the difference between house and a cop (or house and his father or house and god) is that no matter what kind of moralistic view house has (whether it be the deeply flawed one from his dad or his own) house is /always/ up against something taking his agency.

house, especially in the earlier seasons, conflates power with agency. i assume, because that was the case for him growing up: his dad had the power, so he made the decisions about what happens to house's body.

we also see it in the fact society has outcast him, his leg crippled him, his addiction controls him. and perhaps even how his own belief system prevents him from being happy

so when the tritter arc happens and we see this almost comedically evil villain actually able to punish house (unlike the sick cop from euphoria who just like, dies) its not only a representation of the outside forces that conspire against house, but a reflection of the mans own policing system.

a lot of the tritter arc is made for house to confront his own power and how he wields it over others. he outwardly denies any hipocracy or self-destructive behavior, because he believes that his loss of power is loss of agency (because that has been true his whole life). tritter is a bad cop thru and thru but at the end of the day, house does give in, he does apologize to wilson despite having mixed feelings about the whole thing.

in reality we see house reflect a lot of what tritter is saying. in the rehab scene he says nothing matters, that rehab is all fake and cant fix anything. then tritter comes and house gets mad bc tritter wont give him a chance. but tritter says the same thing house does: you cant change, you wont change. house's anger at this could be interpreted as he's pissed hes not getting off, but i think it shows that house really /wishes/ that rehab could work, that people can change. he wishes that his actions to be better made any difference. that he had the power/agency to control his fate

and at the end of court, tritter says the same thing: i hope im wrong about you.

[something-about-sunflowers]

They're pirates.

So it makes sense, really.

People die in pirate shows. Sun poisoning, heatstroke.

People die in pirate shows. Suffocation.

People die in pirate shows. Stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Hangings.

People die in pirate shows. More stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Infections.

People die in pirate shows. Amputations.

People die in pirate shows. More stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Scurvy.

People die in pirate shows. Broken ribs, spine.

People die in pirate shows. Drowning.

People die in pirate shows. More amputations.

People die in pirate shows. Traumatic brain injuries.

People die in pirate shows. Sun poisoning, heatstroke, starvation.

People die in pirate shows. Gunshots.

People die in pirate shows. More amputations.

People die in pirate shows. Even more amputations.

People die in pirate shows. More gunshots.

People die in pirate shows. More gunshots.

People die in pirate shows. More traumatic brain injuries.

People die in pirate shows. Even more stabbings.

People die in pirate shows. Poisoning.

People die in pirate shows. Allergic reaction.

People die in pirate shows. Even more traumatic brain injuries.

People die in pirate shows. Explosions.

People die in pirate shows. More poisoning.

So it makes sense that Izzy died. Because people die in pirate shows. And this is a show about pirates. Where people die.

[ratatatastic]

"Battle of Alberta, right? It was my first game: Calgary, Edmonton. We would play them in the preseason, and you know—trying to make the team I'd always be asking him to fight in preseason, always. I'd be runnin' my mouth—like, tryna fight the biggest, baddest guys, tryna make an impression.

And he would never fight me. He'd always tell me, like If you make the team, I'll fight ya. You don't have to worry about that, but I'm not fightin' ya preseason. And I totally respect it, I'm not gonna chase him down. It is what it is. He's established—I'm looking for my chance.

So I get called up, we're playing Edmonton in Edmonton: Battle of Alberta. [He's] over there on the other side, and it's like the coolest thing ever... you know, the buildup was crazy 'cuz I knew if the opportunity presented itself—if the game went the way I hoped it would, I would get an opportunity to fight him.

I remembered in warmups tryna skate by the redline initially just kind-of gettin' a feel for it—to see if I have to say something or whatever... He's got no bucket on, his big, bald head is glarin' around, he skates by the redline with the biggest smile on his face, and just gives me the biggest wink...

At that moment I knew Okay, he remembers. It's gonna happen at some point.

We were up 1, I think it was 2-1 going into intermission or whatever—Oh, no, I think it was 1-1 and we had just scored so the position I'm like Yeah, I don't know if I can fight him now because we have the momentum and we're winning the game. I don't want to lose a fight, then we lose a game and now I'm, like, never getting a chance again.

You kind-of gotta play the game within the game like [...] there's an opportunity to fight, and there's an opportunities where you shouldn't fight. Things weren't looking good, then they score and now we need a spark. I'm like Fucking perfect.

I just skate by their bench and I'm like It's time, big boy! He jumps out, we line up, and he goes We squarin' up or we goin' right away?

I'm like I'm not fuckin' squarin' up with you right now! We're goin' right away!

Drop em, we go right away, grab each other. I know he's a lefty so he's gonna let go—let's go of my right arm before he throws one. I threw one. Big boy went down, he jumped back up pretty quick. I don't know, I tell people all the time, I'm like I would've been in the league fuckin' 2 years earlier if there was good footage of this fuckin' fight!

For some reason—For some reason, the cameras cut out. I don't know if [he] had his cousins working the cameras or something that night, or if they're in the video room or what happened.

That was my first NHL game.

It's funny 'cuz Chucky was there—Chucky's there and he knows, he saw, he always laugh when I say that I would've been in the league earlier 'cuz he knows how things like that go. You get a little bit of energy and buzz around ya, and then kind-of momentum takes you a little bit further but unfortunate[ly], I missed that opportunity but I don't regret a thing.

[...]

The opportunity was there, I just—unfortunately, for whatever reason, the Hockey Gods said not yet." (Ryan Lomberg reminiscing over his first NHL game/fight) (x)(x) (please go watch the second link to see lombos giant smile as he tells this story jfc)

and other genuinely bonkers things to say about a hockey player in your first fight... like why did this need to be said like that...what

[oflgtfol]

ok so i hate writing intelligent posts abt malevolent bc im scared of posting theories that are stupid and wrong but like. im feeling that the eponymous fallen star of the order of the fallen star. is john. like this is a cult not about the king in yellow like that in season 1, but instead about the “fallen star” that fragmented off the king. Augh

[gilfrespecter]

Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous

Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really

[lisbonsteresa]

i'm going to SCREAM

[iguessitsjustme]

For someone who doesn't want anyone's pity, Day sure lets everyone else do all of the emotional labor for him

[dashiellqvverty]

my opinion on season 11 is that ian and mickey were all over the place from episode to episode and i ultimately wasn’t very happy with where it ended for them

[ghostlypawn]

cm telling me that spence doesnt ‘have email’ is the stupidest thing ive ever heard sorry