#it doesn't make it hurt that much less

[knifegremliin]

it feels really unfair to lose another pet not even a full three months after the last one. but i think i'll be okay. at least i knew it was coming.

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[etoilesdeglace]

The way that Poseidon knows that Sally doesn't want to take Percy to camp, the way he wants Percy to be able to be as much like Sally as he can... Maybe he knows that Sally's goodness is paramount to Percy's ability to eventually save Olympus, or maybe he just wants his son to take after the woman he loves - a woman unlike any he'd met in a thousand years. Further, the way he so clearly wants to be there for them both but knows he can't. The way that's obviously killing him to not be a part of their lives, and so he takes this opportunity to be there for her, even if it hurts him to hear what she has to say. The way he encourages Sally to speak her mind and re-assures her that its' not fair, that she hasn't failed, that she's doing well by Percy, that she's raised him well, and he promises to be there for Percy when he can (and in his own way he has been when it matters).

[shalom-iamcominghome]

People findinging out that antisemitism does, in fact, victimize people

[shiraishi--kanade]

I have Words to Say about disabled characters in Proseka but I'm especially kind of... Eeh about Saki, because of how perfect she is.

I've talked about this before but Saki is just not allowed, by the narrative, to be flawed. We have some very, very brief moments of anger or lashing out from her (NSNF, Doll Festival in particular), but aside from that Saki is just... So cliché and surface-level regarding her disability. That especially reflects in how the writers handled her relationship with Leo/need.

Yes, she is not angry at her friends for, let's call it what it was, abandoning her (besides Ichika). She is not upset with them or feels betrayed by them. She just forgives them for doing that because she's a good friend and that kind of person, to not dwell on the past and just look forward. She's only really upset at her illness, rate, and herself.

Do you know how shitty of a story that is to sell to disabled people? Oh look, this character suffered a lot and then their friends just stopped visiting them at some point! But no big deal though, they're all good! She doesn't hold a grudge against them so it's actually totally understandable and fine and you should look up to that attitude.

Sure, Saki isn't upset with Honami and Shiho. My point is that she fucking should be. I know their reasons and I don't care about them; what they did is shitty and I hate how the story just moved on from that and we never confront that again and probably won't. Why the hell not? It would make for an interesting conflict and story. It would make Saki an absolutely stunning character, and reflect many of our struggles with loving and caring for people that don't understand us and don't stand with us. Why do we have a story we do now, where Shiho and Honami's fuck up only bothers them but not the person they hurt?

Oh wait, I know the answer: because god forbid disabled characters be anything than inspiration porn.

[masque-of-plague]

If you feel like you need "permission" to do something in fandom, this post is for you!

Something I've noticed a lot of in this fandom is that people hesitate so much to do so many wonderful things they want to do because they feel like they need someone else's "permission" in order to do it.

Understandably, there was a HUGE history of people dog-piling, harassing, and bullying people for doing things that were not explicitly approved by either the creators or the fandom at large. I am so happy that the tumblr fandom in particular has moved away from that horrible time, but the effects it had on people still linger, even beyond things that "weren't allowed."

So if you need permission to do something you've been thinking of doing, I'm giving you permission. 💕

Do you have an idea for a fan event but you need someone to tell you that you can? I'm telling you right now that not only can you start that fan event, but you will do a great job AND people will love it.

Do you have an idea for a fanfiction but you're worried that people won't like it? I'm holding your face gently and promising you that there is an audience for everything and if absolutely nothing else, you deserve to make that fic.

Do you have a headcanon that directly conflicts with common headcanons in the fandom? I support you having that headcanon. YES, even if other people dislike or even hate that headcanon. YES, even if some people are upset about that headcanon. It's their job to avoid that headcanon then-- it's not your job not to have it.

You deserve a space to be heard, to make your creations, to hold you headcanons. Anything that brings you joy, amusement, euphoria, validation, healing, catharsis, anything that you find interesting or enjoyable, you deserve to engage with it.

I promise you are capable. I promise you are not doing anything wrong. I promise you are not hurting anything.

Whatever you thought about while reading this post? I am giving you permission to do it.

[queeraang]

(CW: mentions of various kinds of abuse)

I finished kevin can fuck himself (recommend it, it has so much fun with genre) which is essentially a dark comedy about a woman breaking away from a narcissistic husband and i keep seeing people having theories of like "i bet he was physically abusing her but we didn't see it" which i think misses the point of the show.

not saying it doesn't happen but it's less common for someone to say "my partner hit me" and be brushed off with a "that's just how marriage is lol". the show is about how someone can subtly abuse and manipulate you for years before you realize how bad it's gotten. combined with how they can downplay their harm so everyone around you laughs it off.

to that point i've seen a few people like "i don't get it, he's not that bad" because the harm he causes is funny or 'not a big deal'. like she can't hate him for ruining her life unless he hit her.

it's similar imo to when all the stuff around nickelodeon shows was coming out where it seemed like people almost wanted dan schneider to have sexually assaulted a child and weren't satisfied with "his conduct was questionable also he was constantly screaming at children" like if all he did was berate kids, that is deplorable enough, things don't have to be the absolute worse case scenario before someone's allowed to complain or remove themself from the situation

[bitchthefuck1]

you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

[incesthemes]

as i've rewatched seasons 1 and 2 of supernatural i've been pondering and hypothesizing reasons why john was so adamant on not letting sam know about his destiny. why he was so intent on keeping this secret, why he didn't want sam knowing about monsters, why his role in their hunts appeared to be research-oriented and thus away from the action. my perspective on ignorance and censorship is that it enables further harm, so if john were going to effectively protect sam, it would stand to reason that sam should have a comprehensive understanding of his destiny and what he's up against: give him the tools to fight.

this is obviously not the route john went, so then i have to question why that is—what about censorship was so appealing to him that he thought it not only the best way to keep sam safe, but perhaps even the only way to keep him safe, based on how he begged even dean to keep sam's fate a secret from him in his final words?

so i got to thinking. namely, about the fact that azazel wants sam to be hunting: he killed jessica with the intent to drag him back into the life, which implies that if sam is hunting, he is going down the path azazel wants him to go—he's following his destiny. this aligns with the everpresent theme throughout season 1 that hunting is a monstrous lifestyle, that hunting turns people into monsters. if sam is destined to become a monster, then hunting is the most sure-fire way to get him there.

if azazel wants sam to hunt, then john would need to take the logical opposition and keep sam out of hunting—so, he wouldn't tell sam about monsters until he has to, he'd give sam more passive roles once sam is participating in hunts, he'd train sam in self-defense but not explain why. and importantly, he wouldn't talk about mary, who is the root cause of this lifestyle, the impetus for their revenge quest, more than he has to. if the goal is to keep sam as far away from hunting as possible, and if john is someone who thinks ignorance keeps someone safe, then this more or less explains most of how sam was raised: on the fringes of the family, excluded and sheltered.

but weirdly enough, it wasn't until i was reading east of eden the other night that i finally understood the perspective being presented: late in the novel, the character lee says "when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop."

it made me remember that sam picks. he is a character who wants to understand the world around him and his place in it. if something is bothering him, he turns it over in his head until it consumes him. dean places doubt in sam's head in 2x10 and it obliterates him by 2x11. he's convinced he's going to become some horrible monster because he never stops thinking and trying to figure things out. when his memory is wiped in 4x17 and normal guy sam wesson finds out his coworker is the guy from his weird dreams, he pursues him relentlessly until they're back hunting. when he discovers the wall death put in his mind to keep his hell trauma out in season 6, he pushes and can't stop until it starts crumbling around him. he's intelligent and clever and he wants to know everything. and when he doesn't know, he picks.

and the only way to stop a person like that from picking is to not let them know that there's something to pick at in the first place. that's what the quote from east of eden means: once you catch wind of something, you want to pursue it until you're satisfied. curiosity kills the cat.

and what john is up against is fate itself. something that isn't supposed to be messed with, something that's supposed to be unavoidable. so trying to thwart it is tricky business. he has to be careful.

i think working under that logic his response makes sense, even if it wound up being a self-fulfilling prophecy anyway—sam was always going to find out, and sam was always going to pick. there was nothing john could do in the end to stop it, and trying to keep sam ignorant only made him that much more desperate to know. but that's the great tragedy of it all: john was given an impossible choice, and he's a deeply flawed character. he did what he thought was best, and it only made things worse.

i like this interpretation because it ties all of john's choices together really well; it explains a lot about his character and gives a nuanced and rather reasonable explanation for why he did what he did: a dad who wants the best for his kid does what he believes will set him up on the path to success. when the first innocence is gone, you can't stop—so john does his damnedest to keep sam innocent, even to his dying breath.

the problem comes down to that someone's damnedest isn't always good enough, and that sometimes someone's damnedest ends up benefiting the enemy instead.

[kaisollisto]

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[lolly-dolli]

Here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go down to your local Aldi's, buy a 24oz bag of frozen mango chunks, a bag of rice, and two cans of black beans.

If you don't already have them; salt, lime or lemon juice and cumin; maybe some meal prep tupperware. Pouch tuna if you like that stuff.

Once home, put that bag of mango chunks in a bowl full of warm water so they defrost. Don't pen it. The bag needs to stay closed. This'll make sense later.

Prepare enough water in a pot to cook two cups of that rice. Make sure the pot's big. Big enough to hold way more rice than you expect there to be. Add a teaspoon of cumin, two tablespoons lime or lemon juice, salt according to preference. Pat of butter.

Boil. Make sure the butler's melted. Stir to combine.

Add your rice. Cook according to rice bag.

If you have a protein, you can cook that now. 20-30 minutes at your disposal. If not, that's why we got the second can of beans for.

I recommend Aldi's tuna steaks - quick to defrost, 5 bucks for 2-3. Lean protein. Real nice. Creme de la crumb's tuna marinade also works real nice if you have the energy.

A pouch of tuna's just as good functionally.

Less mercury that way.

You can mix it in that if you want, too.

Strain your beans. Conserve a little bean water for the rice if you want.

Your rice is done.

Add your beans. Twice as many if you're feeling like it'll be a bad week. Two or three pouch tunas too if you want a little extra.

If you have the lemon pepper kind you can probably nix the citrus juice.

Now we go back to your mango. If all's worked correctly, the warm water should've thawed them somewhat, the heat warming the air in the bag.

Dump 'em in, turn the burner to low heat. Stir until well combined.

Portion out into Tupperware.

You've got a good couple meals right there. Even more as side dishes if you have the energy to cook chicken nuggets or fish or veggies or whatever.

Lunch. Breakfast. Dinner.

Carbs to keep you awake and moving.

Protein to fuel your muscles.

Bit of fiber to push it all through your guts easier.

Citric acid to avoid the scurvy.

Can be eaten hot or cold, and the shit's good, too.

You're gonna have something tasty to eat whether you can operate a microwave or not this week.

That's what you're gonna do.

[shippy-from-apocalypse]

Ok im Very sleepy rn it's 2 am bare with me

What do we think Jon would think of How The fandom sees him? And I don't mean this in a pedantic "oh fandom bad because dumbed down and Insert Petty Headcanon Disagreement"

I mean this entirely in a "How would Jon, The man who believes himself to be an Irredeemable monster who is to blame for everything that ever went wrong, react to Just so so many people listening to his shortcommings and ultimately seeing his side"

Like yeah everyone agrees he's kind of an asshole sometimes but he is so beloved by The fans?

I'm sure some people did but I've never seen anyone doubting his humanity or blaming him for the horrors™ he Just clearly understood as his fault? Like yeah Martin tried telling him it wasn't but what I'm getting at is

I love to think about what Jon would do If he saw just the ocean of people who listened to (what he considers to be)

the most unsympathetic person in the world becoming a monster and making choices that brought the literal apocalypse upon humanity

and pretty much everyone saying "he did the best anyone could reasonably expect and he is not a bad person for being caught in the crossfire of an impossible situation with no good solutions"

remember that time in mag 187 a lady grabbed jon in fear and he shouted and presumably pushed her away? and everyone and their mother defended jon's humanity because that was a textbook trauma response i think he would break down crying if he saw that

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi love!! How are you?

May i ask for another part of the human Thena/eternal Gil Au pretty please?, it's a very interesting concept. Thank you 🤍🩷

Thena froze. She completely froze. What the hell was that thing? It rose up out of the water like it was a demon, its skin and flesh crawling around on its wiry body. She squeaked, "G-Gil?"

The creature floated over to her, examining her curiously. It had a maw of teeth like she had never seen before. "Th...ee...na."

Why did it know her name? What kind of nightmare was this? She tried to run but her knees trembled as she scraped her boot back on the cobblestones. "G-Gil-"

The beast lurched closer, something like vines growing from its neck. "Gil...ga...mesh."

A new chill flooded through her. This thing--it couldn't possibly be the one Gil fought on the news, could it? Sure, they weren't going to parade around the corpse of a monster like that, but surely it would have been reported of something like this was still alive.

"Find," its breath puffed from its jaws like smoke, "Gilgamesh."

"Gil!" Thena got out before turning her face away from the beast. She didn't know why that was the only thing coming to mind, but she was prepared for his name to be her last breath.

"Don't move!"

Well, it wasn't Gil. But rather, Sersi leapt over the railing of the bridge above. She held out her hand--her completely empty, open palm. The thing took a swipe at her but she used her other hand to swipe back. As her finger left the stone cobbles below their feet, shards of glass left her fingertips.

The thing retreated, hissing at the glass in its eyes.

"Run!"

Now her legs worked. Thena followed Sersi down the canal, looking over her shoulder only once. "What is that thing?!"

"It's a long story!"

Maybe all Eternals were bad at communication. Thena followed up the ramp and back to the surface street, although she could barely hear over her heart in her ears. "Where's Gil?"

"He'll be here," Sersi breathed heavily, hands still held out. "He's on his way."

"Sersi," Thena pressed, moving closer to the woman who had her back to her (in an attempt to protect her). "Why did that thing know my name?"

"What?" the other woman fully turned around.

"It spoke, it knew my name, and Gil's," she scowled, more and more tired of being left in the dark.

"Thena," Sersi shook her head, "Deviants can't speak."

"This one can," she corrected, although it didn't last. Sersi took her hand, yanking her away again in a fell blown run. "What is it?"

"I don't know!" It was at least an honest answer. "Dane!"

Dane, undeniably human, was trying to direct the general populace away from the danger. He turned back to them, "Sersi, it's-!"

Thena stumbled as Sersi was picked up by that thing. Its body was already huge to begin with, but it was elevated up on its tentacle-like appendages. She picked herself up as Dane charged at it. "Wait!"

The beast opened its mouth. Just like its eyes, whatever comprised its insides had a sickly, ominous glow to it. It held Sersi by the neck, as if inhaling her air could rob her of her life.

"Let her go!"

Thena's ears popped as charging sound hit the air, followed by sheer impact. The thing went flying back into the water below. Gold particles floated in the air like dust. A second, lighter impact sounded, feet meeting concrete heavily. "Gil?"

"You okay?" he asked Sersi as they landed. She nodded, leaning on his shoulder as she rubbed her neck under her scarf.

"I'll be fine," Sersi assured him. If the powers weren't enough evidence, no human would be able to breathe, let alone speak after the way that thing had handled her. She gasped as Dane plowed into her, hugging her tight despite her brother's presence. She didn't mind it either, happily embracing him in return, "I'm okay, Dane."

Thena watched from a few paces away. Part of her imagined running to Gil the same way, but they hadn't actually spoken since their tense discussion at the museum two weeks ago. She had told him she needed time, and he had respected that, only checking on her well being after the attack, as he had asked to do.

Part of her was glad he had respected her boundary. The other part had been waiting for him to call or text all week.

Gil moved away from his sister and her boyfriend, happy not to watch their affections. He jogged over to her, his hands floating around but never actually landing. "Are you okay?"

She just nodded, her throat completely stiff and dry. That thing never emerged from the water, but she hardly thought that meant it was dead down there. "Gil, what-"

"I don't know," he answered immediately, also looking for the thing or any trace of it. But, not immediately seeing any signs, he focused on her again. And he did manage to bridge the gap and pull her into his arms. His hand rested on her hair, "I don't know, sweetheart."

She could just demand answer--real, proper answers. This was not only not the first time something like this had come up from his past life, but now it was involving her more directly. That thing had spoken her name like a walking nightmare.

Gil tightened his hold on her as she buried her face in his chest. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."

She could remember how she had screamed his name as if it were synonymous with 'help'. All she had thought in that moment was that surely he would come to save her. As if she were some cliched damsel in a work of fiction. It was laughable.

But Gil buried his nose in her hair, pressed his lips to her temple. "Are you hurt?"

She pulled away from him, shaking her head. "It said my name."

Gil wasn't nearly as shocked or appalled as Sersi had been. His face was grim. "It's the same one I fought before. It's different from the other ones we've faced in the past. It learns differently. They've never been able to speak before."

That had all kinds of horrific implications for the biology and evolution of such a creature. "It's the same one?"

He sighed heavily, guiding her away from the damage of everything as crowds started reemerging. He wrapped his arm around her. "It got away from me that time. But it stuck one of those vines in me--I think it got in my head."

That would explain its learning pattern with speech, and unfortunately, why it had known her name. It even seemed to have hunted her down out of recognition. She shivered.

"It's okay," Gil whispered to her, even pulling off his jacket and putting it around her shoulders, despite her having her own. "Nothing is going to happen to you, Thena."

As strong and inhuman as he was, it still sounded somewhat empty as a promise. She let him pull her off the main streets and aside, in front of an old, dimly lit laundromat.

She took him in, watching as he checked that no one was lingering or looking, able to catch them saying something incriminating. "Gil."

He knew what she was asking. He gave her his full attention, taking her hands in his. "Anything you wanna know--go for it."

There was a myriad of things. She looked down at their joined hands. "Why didn't you tell me it wasn't dead?"

"I wasn't sure either," he professed, and she believed it was honesty. "Even if I had my suspicions, I thought it was just scare you if you knew."

She frowned, "I may be human, but I'm not going to cower at the idea of some story."

Maybe that was putting on a brave face of sorts, though. Looking that thing in the eye had been the single worst experience of her life.

"I know," Gil conceded, though. He ran his thumb against the outer edge of hers. "I should give you more credit than that. But I honestly didn't know how to tell you--or anyone. Not even Sersi knew."

That was clear, at least. Sersi had looked completely aghast at the idea that the thing had spoken.

"I don't know if the rest of us know either," he leapt into the next leg of his honesty. "We don't exactly talk much."

She supposed she could understand that. Humans didn't necessarily excel at keeping in touch with their families either. "Perhaps you should try to talk, at least now that you've seen it again?"

He sighed heavily, but nodded.

She huffed more impatiently; she wasn't his mother, or some nagging girlfriend. She wouldn't be the sidelined love interest urging him to go do what he needed to while she waited indefinitely for him. "Gil, whatever that thing is-"

"It's a Deviant, the things we killed--we thought! The last one I fought was in the 17th century," he grumbled, although as soon as he gave her hands a squeeze he relaxed himself again. Did it take practice for him to learn not to squeeze too hard with humans, she wondered. "But that thing...I think maybe it has something to do with Ikaris."

She frowned, "Sersi's ex-husband?"

He glanced around, as if Sersi would catch him talking about it and give him hell for it (they really were siblings). "We haven't heard anything from him or Ajak, not even after the blip."

So, they were aware of the blip! And by the sounds of it, none of them had blipped. Now, she shad even more questions (she had blipped, mercifully, it sounded like).

She gulped. "What does that mean for you?"

He shook his head. He didn't know either. But he was still holding her hands. "I-I don't know. But, Thena-"

She leaned in, tilting her head up to kiss him. It wasn't their first kiss, by any means, but it felt just as significant.

When she leaned back, Gil had the most grave look she had ever seen on his face. "Tell me that wasn't a goodbye kiss."

She wasn't entirely sure, in the moment. But it was not, at the very least, a petty breakup kiss. She gave his hands a squeeze of her own before stepping back. "It's a 'I-trust-you'll-tell-me-more-when-you-know-more' kiss."

That made him brighten considerably, and she was frustratingly happy to see his smile return.

"Gil?" Sersi's voice floated over to them from around the corner. "I guess we need to talk."

He made a face, as if his sister needing him was more trivial than the impending doom they had just faced. He looked away from the corner and back at her with those big brown eyes of his. But she gave him a look. He rolled his eyes, "fine."

Sersi was waiting with Dane, also hand in hand with her human. "You know what we have to do."

"Unfortunately," he grumbled. Thena nudged him; her hand was also still clasped in his. "Let's get home first, try to catch our breath, okay?"

"Not a bad idea, I think," Dane spoke up surprisingly firmly. Gil had described him as someone rather nervous, but perhaps he had an underlying confidence to him when needed.

Thena smiled at the way he kept Sersi close to him. It didn't bother him in the least that his partner was immeasurably strong and fast in comparison, perhaps not even that she was immortal. Watching them walk ahead, they were just a couple whose date had been ruined.

Her last date with Gil had been dinner after work, talking about her day, asking him about the food and what he thought. He had mentioned her meeting his sister, and his sister's new boyfriend he wasn't totally sure about. It was unfortunate that these were the circumstances under which they were actually doing so.

"Hey," he whispered, leaning close to her as they walked a few paces behind. He averted his eyes as Sersi laid her head on Dane's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she let out a breath. It looked inviting, although she wasn't sure if she and Gil were in that same place in their relationship. She wasn't sure what their relationship was anymore, entirely of her own doing.

Gil was the one to decide. He pulled his hand from hers, only so he could wrap his arm around her waist. She stumbled into him but he used the opportunity to press his lips to her forehead. "Whatever is about to come our way, I'm glad you're here with me, Thena."

She closed her eyes, relishing the small window of affection. She wasn't sure what was coming their way either. But she was here for it--she was probably a little too willing to face whatever was to come, all things considered. For someone who had told him she needed time, she had come very close to professing her love on what she had thought was her deathbed mere moments ago.

But she should probably decide if she was his girlfriend or not first. "I'm with you, Gil."

[deva-arts]

nate being the only doctor makes me wonder what he's had to do for the others before

Nate does a lot for the crew. (Also woo look at his human disguise!)

When he's not actively treating or checking on them, he's constantly working to compare studies and test data to understand how to treat his friends, seeing as they have widely different genetic makeups and could react in ways that are *catastrophically* unexpected.

He can't use human rules when working on them, which greatly complicates things when he's educated in treating humans. Sera and Vince naturally have nucleated blood cells for greater oxygen input since they're always in rigorous activity, but this is a sign of leukemia or other major deficiency in humans. How do drugs interact with their bodies? what reaction will their immune systems have? do they have an intolerance to certain chemical developments?

This is partly why Vincent underwent so much testing and experimentation- to catalogue and document an atlas for the reproduction and understanding of this hybrid Variant species, and how every facet of its anatomy works in that respect. Like a rough draft you don't care about messing up, and use only to learn from.

Sorry Vince.

It's a wonder how Nathaniel was able to successfully recompile enough information to save his friends at all. It's a lot of stress on one guy with no nurses! That goes without saying for Amon (who is a beastshifter) Sonia... (Who is a living chemical synthesis lab) The various other people who end up joining... (Who shall remain incognito)

...Yikes.

He has likely seen all of them naked at least once, due to emergencies. He's extremely professional, so it's like it never happened... But it's still never fun to have to use that kind of ER protocol on your injured friends and associates.

Everyone except for Vincent, since V never lets Nathaniel treat him for anything, even when he needs it.

Instead, everyone caught a harrowing and unwanted glimpse of Vincent when he landed back home after streaking in the rain. He now flies with his pants duct-taped on. And goggles. For the glare and the overwhelming surplus of bugs he slams into at twice the speed of a f1 car.

[auphelia]

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