#it does move pretty fast because it's a short novel

[nondescriptrock]

I'm writing a short gay romance book for class, but I don't want it to go to waste, if that makes sense lol

Would anyone be interested in reading it? I'll probably post it on AO3 regardless

It's about these bitches

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 169 spoilers and thoughts that i'm incredibly late on because finals are coming up but it's okay we ball and more below the cut

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two little creatures,,, i really like this little panel,,, why is he crouch like that,,, heehee silly guy

nothing too drastic happened in this ep but there's a lot to talk about (and a ton of thoughts i have abt the execution of it) sooo ya here we go!!!!

the expressions and the art in this ep were all REALLY good i really liked these HAHAHAA hes so fucking menacing,,,

JAVIER WAS ALSO FUN I LOVE WHEN HE PLAYS THE STRAIGHTMAN HAHAHAHA

javier ilysm "i have so many things to say,,, but i wont,,," LOL

the heavenly demon kings were cool too! though very short-lived,,, i will have more to say on that,,, their designs are pretty varied and i like that a lot!!! tho seriously why are there eight of them what happened to warrant eight LMFAO

ALSO LLOYD IMMEDIATELY SUBDUING THE DEMON KINGS BY SINGING LMFAOOOOOOOOOO he's got a weapon he's gonna fucking use it LAKJFDLSJKDF

zero hesitation he just blasted them,,, it's like taking an airhorn and firing it immediately in someone's ear,,, how evil,,, lloyd u bastard /aff

AND ARTANIS ARTANIS WAAAAHHH SHES SOOO PRETTY i love characters with horns like that ive had my fair share of OCs with those horns and together w her hair and expression and eyes i love her a lot <3 i hope she gets more sillies

it seems like she's the only one with mind reading abilities maybe its a demon king thing? javier did mention that she has a LOT more power than she lets on so maybe theres more to it? her introduction and her request for help came VERY quick she was quick to cry and while it absolutely makes sense that its bc her people really, REALLY need help, im also wondering if there's something more to it,,, she was very fast to trust lloyd; what else does her mind reading let her see, to what extent? not saying that she's an antagonist or anything, i do believe that she wants to help her people i'm just curious at how. fast this is. though it may just be because of a pacing issue thats causing this confusion in me,,, which i will talk about later below cause i wanna get thru these panels heehee

and lastly, OUR FIRST LOOK AT THE FORMER/FIRST DEMON KING CREDOS!!! and apparently he just. stopped invading and focused on farming!!!

one) i love collecting little bits of lore like this it makes me go heehee yay worldbuilding

and two) THIS IS WHAT BRIDGES TGED TO THE NEW PREQUEL THAT THE AUTHOR IS WRITING!!! AAAHH YESSS YES YEEESS I LOVE THAT A LOT

if you didn't already know, the author is currently publishing another webnovel set in Lorasia, and it's supposed to take place when tyrannus was a kid, basically a long LONG time ago

AND ISN'T THAT FAMILIAR? A DEMON KING WHO STOPPED INVADING AND WENT FARMING,,, THATS THE BITCH!!!

(it says here there were four heavenly demon kings here tho i wonder why they doubled HAHA)

i love love LOVE that the pieces were set up like this, idk if credos is mentioned in the novel at all but little building blocks that create bridges (however small) between works in the same universe are my favorite thing ever i like collecting those it's my favorite kind of worldbuilding thing bc it's like putting pieces together heehoo

i'll ABSOLUTELY be making a post yapping about this prequel and the Everything that is Lorasia soon, so i'll leave this off here for now :3 but just know IM VERY EXCITED/HAPPY ABOUT THIS LITTLE LORE BIT IN PARTICULAR

ok that's all the panels i wanted to talk about ,,, i was gonna dive into worldbuild yapping/speculations but again i wanna make a separate post dedicated to that

now,,, about the pacing of this episode,,, as aforementioned, it feels really, REALLY fast! it feels like we're speedrunning the build-up part of the journey, like within the episode it's like "oh we got new characters, we get to know them- oh okay yeah they're not bad people actually - oh new powerful character let's work together okay cool moving on"

and it's a shame because i really really like the art and gags for this ep, i think they're really silly and i think i could have really come to like these new characters with more time, but because we're going through this process so fast it's like,,, the setup is barely there, which makes the punchlines just short of satisfying,,,

i wanted more out of this episode, i expected something else. i haven't read the novel so i couldn't tell you how i'd adapt it or what the something i expected was but,, idk it feels like the pacing is off,,, lloyd was quick to piece together the status of the overworld demons based on their attire and behavior but i really wish it went about in a different way. i wish we could have had more time with the heavenly eight demon kings before they were just. subdued? and the two children too, are we gonna see them again? with how fast they were introduced and how fast they were set aside, i'm worried they won't show up again

i also kind of wish artanis' reveal was,,, more. i don't know how to explain what that means. maybe more ominous? more mysterious? just a little more, more hints to her character or her relationship with other characters or something,,, though maybe this is too soon and we'll see more of her later and i'll be more satisfied? i'm not totally sure

this episode just didn't hit the same, and that really upsets me because i really wanted to like this episode! i've read more manhwa than novel currently so even with it's flaws i still really like the manhwa, and i want to be able to continue liking the manhwa,,, i really hope that this pacing thing and these fast-paced bits is just within this one episode and that it'll be okay as we go forward. i really want to continue enjoying reading this!!!

it could be that the adapter is experiencing some kind of burnout, it has been quite a long time since the start of tged. i really hope they take their time with adapting the rest, i really wouldn't mind another break. if another hiatus is needed for the adapter to pace the story and the artist to draw the panels in a way that feels better or less rushed, i'd accept the hiatus fully

anyway that's all i have to say right now,,, ep 170 really feels like a gamble right now and im praying that it goes well, if i have more thoughts ill probably rb with more yapping idk

i'll see y'all next week (aka tmrw) (because this post is a lil bit late LOL) im praying im praying,,, manifesting that this ep was just a lil awkward and that everything else is fine,,, please,,,

[nabanna]

lord help us all I've been given a reason to think about Dracula novel/Drizzt series crossover

I love following canyourfavesurvivecastledracula (I especially love seeing characters I'm not familiar with on there) and they recently got an ask about my little guy Drizzt Do'Urden but didn't know all that much about him BUT YOU SEE (unfortunately for everyone who knows me in any way) this is a crossover of the two major fandoms that have become my entire personality in the past year or so! so as someone who's eagerly awaiting the return of Dracula Daily Season AND reading multiple of the Drizzt series books as we speak (simultaneously! help..) and considers him a blorbo to tenderly and lovingly put in the microwave to watch him dodge the radiation like an ant, I'm taking a crack at it because this looks like fun :D

Making my own post because this is purely to be enrichment in my enclosure and also it's.. gotten So So Very Long.. also pouring one out for my other account where I normally would post this sort of thing that I simply cannot log into anymore for mysterious and unknown reasons. (Literally it's still like There and I can See It but trying to log in takes me to 'make a new blog' pages and... wait I'm silly I think I know why. the email died. no idea how to get back in without the email.)

ANYWAY

To the thought experiment:

Could Drizzt Do'Urden Survive Castle Dracula?

Short answer: Yes, it's not a fun time for him, he saves the baby though!

Long answer:

Using the blog's stated general criteria...

Overall approach to the supernatural:

Is an elf, knows what a vampire is, however D&D vampires work differently from Dracula vampires so he would not have all the information on that front if it came to a confrontation. (Knowing the Drizzt books, it would definitely come to at least one fight or at least a tense chase sequence.)

Also depends on how quickly he clocked that this is, in fact, a vampire, and whether Dracula could catch on to him catching on and spin things in a way that kept Drizzt relatively chill OR decide it's time to strike (which he could probably escape) (though now I'm thinking about Vampire!Drizzt....... no no I shouldn't.... unless.....)

The presence of Guenhwyvar (constellation panther BFF my beloved) would afford him some protection other than Dracula's whims, and companionship which is Very Important as he has been known to go feral without sufficient friendship.

Probably takes all the local superstitions very seriously because where he comes from if someone's like "there are ghosts that come out on certain days" and "there are monsters in these woods" they mean it very Very literally.

Dracula's general inhuman behaviors he could take in stride and adapt to pretty well I think, he's known a lot of really eccentric people and is from Fantasy Zone, so the idea that Dracula isn't human wouldn't be scary or even all that weird. Vampire, yeah that's sus, but just non-human? you walk past a hundred non-humans on a single street in most cities where he's from. Many of the eccentricities might be explainable just by going "Ah, he seems to be some kind of wizard. Yeah that checks out." Doesn't seem to be sleeping on a normal schedule or at all? Drizzt does that too! Sees too well in the dark/doesn't seem to use lights much? Darkvision and light sensitivity, same! Moves inhumanly fast? A little concerning but why not. Tells stories from centuries ago as if he was there? Elves do that all the time and it's because they were, in fact, there. (Also some human wizards do all of that too, just because.)

Now because things work differently between these two settings I'm not sure how much his general familiarity with things in the Forgotten Realms would help him here, like he's taking it all in stride but does he know how to protect himself against a Dracula-type vampire? Does he know magic is so incredibly rare and (apparently) usually evil or does he think this is just an unusually magic-less region?

Whether they would accept the crucifix from the old lady:

He is a polite young man so yes of course he would, and because the lady doesn't know what a drow (or an elf?) is, she probably wouldn't think "evil!!!" like most of the common folk in the Realms do, so much as "weird-looking (yet androgynously beautiful) young man" or depending on the local superstitions may assume he's some sort of fey being? or just like, really exceptionally foreign foreigner.

Assuming she still offers it, he would accept it despite not knowing what sort of deity it's for, because he recognizes it's a token of goodwill and he loves expressions of goodwill. Would definitely go and write about it in his little diary to both wonder what she's so afraid of/what sort of protection it affords, and also gush about the kindness and possibly whether this expands or aligns with his current understanding of morality.

This plus the other Superstitious Behaviors would clue him in that something's up so he'd be going in with that knowledge, prepared to figure out what's going on and what the villagers are so afraid of.

Whether they would go exploring after being told not to:

100% and he might even be stealthy enough to mostly get away with it!

Demonstrably does not like being restricted, only went along with this stuff when he was younger because the indoctrination ensured that he literally had no idea there was any other option (also his dad sparred with him daily to get his energy out so his zoomies were managed)

If Dracula really truly wanted to discourage him from any particular places he might just need to come up with an explanation, but he might also be entertained enough by Drizzt's sneaking and snooping to let him roam and see where it goes. Drizzt is better at stealth than Jonathan but they have different flavors of wet cat charm which Dracula may want to handle differently.

Depending on how you read the scene with the vampire ladies trying to "kiss" Jonathan, like how much of it was vampire charm making him feel kinda into it or potentially more of a paralysis situation, it could go differently just because Drizzt may or may not be able to break out and run away very fast, or just kinda endure it while feeling Really Bad And Gross about the sexual overtones. (Based on instances such as him resisting drugs and exiting the room as fast as possible when a priestess was coming onto him, and going feral to push through a paralyzing poison to prevent an assault on another person.) (I read him as incredibly demisexual and he demonstrates being sex-repulsed to everyone outside of the very short list of people he's actively very close friends with and attracted to.) (His feral side has been known to come out in these types of situations but not all of them and it wouldn't necessarily always work either.)

The girlies would not put him off of exploring for very long but he would likely be trying to avoid all possible run-ins with them from that point forward. Unfortunately for him he is a tasty little guy and I think the girlies would actively mess with him against Dracula's orders, perhaps in part because he's an elf and they find that interesting and engaging. Enrichment for their enclosure! Horrible time for Drizzt. Exactly the way the vampire squad likes it!

Verdict: He has a bad time but he's gotta run around he has the zoomies. Dracula could possibly prevent this, if he wanted to prevent it, by letting him into a training yard of some kind so he can get out his energy.

Ability to manage the whims of a Rich Jerk / hold Dracula's interest:

This one is harder and probably depends on the circumstances of him going to the castle, like what his goal there is, and around what point in the timeline he's at. I haven't gotten through all 30-something books just yet but my answer is Probably?

Just the fact of him being an elf and having some innate magic abilities could possibly be enough for Dracula to find him interesting enough to keep around. He's not a wizard and his innate spells are mostly harmless, more battlefield management than anything, so he's not magically a particularly powerful threat to Dracula, just decently interesting. He could also go on about how magic works where he's from, though going on too much about his inherent drow magic would make him uncomfortable (which Dracula would probably like) and especially like, if he got into the ins and outs of Menzoberranzan specifically.

He would definitely bring out the active listening skills for Dracula's history and war stories. Might want to get examples of any particularly interesting fighting maneuvers. I wonder if Dracula would indulge him in a spar or let him practice? The castle must have a training yard somewhere, but would he let Drizzt keep his weapons/borrow some?

Usually good enough at reading the room to determine when is or is not a good time for the scimitars and the panther (combat mode) to come out.

Not the most charismatic, but insightful and clever. (autism-ass elf. elftism.......)

Raised in a very controlling environment with a strict social hierarchy where he was simultaneously part of a high-ranking noble family but also as far down the social ladder as he could be otherwise (male, youngest child, was supposed to be assigned spell component at birth, doesn't like conforming) so, again, he wouldn't like it but he could probably manage it.

Partly depends on how much effort Dracula is willing to put in to make the Friendship believable and keep Drizzt in the dark, or if he's interesting enough to more carefully balance a web of manipulation around.

I'm gonna say this point gets a Yes

Assuming he realized the vampires are Bad but too dangerous to 2v4, he would be so uncomfortable for most of it but is also funky enough that Dracula would probably find his discomfort and weird-but-trying-to-be-so-polite mannerisms entertaining. Dracula would decide this is his blorbo now. I may be biased but this is tumblr so actually Dracula himself said all of this to me personally in DMs.

Facility for climbing without gear (free soloing):

Lizard fashion? Spider fashion...

He Is On The Walls

Multiple points in the books involve him sneaking around places by climbing on walls and I believe elves are canonically, in general, weirdly good at parkour. So yeah!

Whether they would choose to risk being eaten by vampires over the certain death of being eaten by wolves:

IF he has weapons, the wolves aren't really certain death because he is a whirling tornado of death, I am so sorry wolves. If not then he might be able to parkour out of their way? He probably wouldn't want to fight the wolves though, because he is a disney princess nature lover and would rather free them from Dracula's control if possible.

Depending on how much he could figure out about how vampires work here, he may have some ideas for how to turn a fight against them to his advantage or otherwise.

Wait, this happens after the baby incident, right? If so then he's not getting to this point plot-wise, though he might have come back to try fighting the vampires after saving the baby, and depending on how he's doing that, he might still have to contend with the wolves at some point.

Decision: Doesn't want to go against the wolves at any point, but if necessary, he can out-parkour them.

General analysis from Me:

Main counts on the original post are accurate! He accepts the cross, survives the social situations as long as necessary, and escapes with the baby to give it back to the villagers upset but otherwise intact.

As soon as he realized the vampires were menacing the locals to any extent, he would decide to figure out a way to free the area of their evil. Unfortunately the best way for him to figure out anything about the vampires is to stay in close quarters with them for a little while. He has been known to pretend to side with an enemy to gain information or an advantage in a fight, but I'm not sure how long he could keep it up.

Dracula might string him along with Friendship (Drizzt loves friendship so much if he doesn't have friendship he will explode) but he would have to get his baby-eating roommates to play along and behave or else they could easily freak the guy out too much for it to remain believable.

Either way, Drizzt is not staying in that castle beyond the point of another person (the baby) being put in danger. There's at least one point in the books where he's protecting a baby while fighting some enemies and he always puts the baby's safety first. Also Guen can respawn, so if it's absolutely necessary to, she can get taken to 0 HP distracting the vampires while Drizzt improvises some way to get out of there with the baby intact.

That's as far as "survive Castle Dracula" usually goes because well he got out of the castle alive but now I am also thinking about possible plot beyond that point...

First of all the villagers?? Assuming they saw him as Really Weird Foreigner or perhaps some sort of fair folk rather than Literal Demon Spawn the worst they'd do is probably be very tense and silent after taking the baby back and let him leave uncontested without welcoming him in. Best case scenario is some or all of them, or at least the baby's mother, being grateful enough to help him out a little. But like what's he gonna Do after that? (Also if the villagers think he's some sort of fey guy then would they think there's something up with the baby now...)

I mean he knows there's baby-eating vampires in that castle now and he's very against the idea of leaving baby-eating vampires around. Even if he can't 2v4 all of them plus their minions he'd wanna do something about that. (2v4 rather than 1v4 because Guen counts as one) Would he try to gather allies to assault the castle? If he learned that there's times when he can expect them all to be asleep in their coffins would he try to just go back in and stab them in their coffin-sleep? Would he leave the area if he knows the local people are still in danger or would he reason that he needs to find help and come back?

(Also raising to myself the question of whether this is "specifically only Drizzt has been isekai'd into the novel Dracula" or if there's perhaps a little more crossover type setting blending, or if others from the Realms are in there, is Elminster around I know he's canonically been to Real Life Earth, would Van Helsing have some kind of tangent about how this has allegedly happened before, there's an implication that vampires aren't even Van Helsing's favorite cryptid what if d&d type elves are actually higher on that list and he knows all about them, is it even possible to put something resembling the plot and characters of Dracula into a D&D setting, what if I could make a Domain of Dread out of this–)

No matter what happened, Drizzt would be writing SO many diary entries which is perhaps the true main reason why he would survive, he's got that journaling and diary-keeping swag just like my good friend Jonathan Harker

(This is all assuming he has Guen because if he didn't have Guen he would wilt away of the Miseries. Might un-wilt specifically to save the baby and then re-wilt as soon as he remembered there's no kitty.)

[asundcr]

( EVAN MOCK. TWENTY-SIX. NON-BINARY. HE/THEY. ) since you aren’t aware of them yet… that’s ( REECE CANOSA ) wandering around in hollow creek! from what i know they’ve lived in hollow creek for ( 3 YEARS. )  i’m also aware of the fact that they work as a ( WRITER. ) in town! but if you were to ask me, what i see when i think about them are: ( LATE NIGHTS FUELED BY CAFFEINE, THINGS THAT GLOW IN THE DARK, CURIOSITY THAT KILLED THE CAT, CRUMPLED UP NOTES. ) if anything, i feel like they could be ( IDEALISTIC, ADAPTABLE, IMPULSIVE, RECKLESS. ) it’s really weird, though… because they seem to be hiding something that no one else knows. but i sure do! and that is ( REDACTED. ). wild, huh? i know. they’re hoping no one will ever find out. and the very last thing that i’d say about them is that they’re mainly known to be ( THE STORYTELLER. ) just keep a lookout! who knows if they’re putting on a facade! 

STATS

full name: reece cristanto canosa   hometown: new york, ny   sexuality: bisexual  birthday: january 28, 1998   zodiac: aquarius sun, aquarius moon, cancer rising  height: 5’8”  languages spoken: english marital status: single children: none  traits: idealistic, adaptable, creative, impulsive, reckless, disorganized 

BACKGROUND death mention and overdose tw

the middle child of three, reece was raised by two artists in new york city

their upbringing was very untraditional and reece got to pretty much run wild and do whatever sort of extracurricular activities he wanted

when he wasn't running amuck or skateboarding where he wasn't supposed to, reece went to the movies and read a lot — became a huge fan of horror because their uncle who was a lot younger than reece's dad would always give reece stephen king, shirley jackson, and edgar allan poe books to read

he was pretty good in school, but really didn't care about anything besides english class and sometimes science if the topic was cool

they cruised through school, passing easily and applying to mostly local schools

they went to nyu for creative writing and published his first novel his senior year; it picked up a bit of a cult following and was given a lot of positive reviews

he graduated and decided to stick around in the city for awhile, taking the extra room in their uncle's apartment

just over three years ago, reece came home and found their uncle dead of a drug overdose; this traumatized him completely, they were super close and he was absolutely devastated

this triggered reece to want to get tf out of the city and where better than to a spooky place like hollow creek?

since moving, he has published a book of short stories, but has not been able to produce a follow-up novel that they deem Good Enough

PERSONALITY

certified yapper, you will never get them to shut the FUCK UP

overly confident in a way that is perhaps worrisome

he's smart, but doesn't show off about it

absolutely has undiagnosed adhd

knows a lot about a lot of things and also knows a lot about nothing (king of trivia)

loves to lie! for fun, for no reason at all

loves to tell a story, but is it a true story? who's to say! but it will also take 17984 tangents and turn in directions unrelated to the story itself

addicted to sugar, always has some sort of gummy or hard candy on him, skittles melt in his pockets a lot

kind of straight edge in some respects? (due to their uncle's death) but will drink and smoke weed (profusely)

doesn't talk about their uncle, much prefers to just focus on anything but negative emotion

talks very fast, always doing about ten things at once

probably annoying

is going through some serious writer's block, but does not want to focus on WHY that may be in the slightest

loves to go out and have fun, loves to be a menace to all around

fun to be around and they think they are so so funny (jury's still out)

pinterest found here, WC found here

[cutepresea]

Isn't it odd Symphogear didn't get any normal length OAV or movie made, or even on the merch side more nendo or nendo petit made considering how popular it was in Japan? I know the fear was real with prods and manus during the first two seasons because they thought it was a fail project and didn't want to invest but after five seasons and five concerts? I don't know I feel like I'm missing data on why we were given the short stick compared to other popular animes...

Ah, I never really felt like that when it comes to the series (except for figures, but I get to that later in the post. I went on a bit of a tangent and it ended up longer than intended. Oops)

Five whole seasons

Four series of shorts

Enough character songs to have a box of 9 CDs released (doesn't include XDU songs)

Concerts that get released on blu-ray since G's (this one just feels like a bigger deal to me because season 1's in 2012 never got recorded or released)

A mobile game that's been running for 6 years and gets its own albums separate from the aforementioned box (there was another mobile game a decade ago that died pretty fast but nobody remembers that one, shhh...)

And a monthly spinoff manga that has enough content for four volumes so far

...All feels like a miracle to me, especially for an anime not based on an existing manga, game, or light novel

Seriously, I love this series but I have no idea how G was greenlit

I'm still waiting to see what the new project is because there's still a possibility that it could be a movie or something. I just don't expect it anytime soon, whether it be a movie or an OVA, because Kaneko (co-creator and scenario writer for the series) is busy both designing and writing a RPG which he stated was something he wanted to do while not working on Symphogear since he was too busy to work on games while he was doing that (link is Japanese, but it's the interview where he said that)

Which, again, is probably why the new project is dated 20XX

Now if I were to talk about stuff I personally would want?

If it's a movie I'd like it to be completely new content but if they make some lengthier OVAs, I've been asking for an adaptation of 3.5 from XDU for a while since the Alexandria Incident gets mentioned in AXZ.

XDU's service isn't going to last forever and I'd hate to lose a canon side story like that when it does eventually end.

They could also do 4.5 but it isn't as high a priority for me because it serves more as an introduction to Noble Red than anything and outside of the short part between Fine and Enki, it felt weird coming out after XV ended

On a bit of a side note, I've said it before, but I wouldn't be too surprised if any new anime content is by Studio KAI instead of Satelight. A LOT of Symphogear's staff moved over there after XV ended which is why XDU's second OP was done by them.

Now merchandise, oh boy, yeah that subject has stung a bit over the years. The fact the only Nendos are from S1 really is sad

They want their friends to join them

Heck, Chris didn't even get a Figma back then like Hibiki and Tsubasa did

I can't believe it took as long as it did for Kirika, Shirabe, and Maria to get figures. Especially Maria, who didn't have one released until 2022.

And it is an actual crime that Miku still doesn't have one despite being around since season 1. That is Hibiki's Wife Sunshine y'all are ignoring. (Season 1 Miku with green hair when? 🤣)

Hobby Stock's set of scale figures they've been releasing and Good Smile's ACT MODEs are a step in the right direction though. There's also been more plushes in recent years which I personally really love.

One of my wishes is someone going back to G and making figures for that so we can get Black Gungnir Maria or Shenshoujing Gear Miku

The parallel world versions of everyone from XDU would be fun too but I'm not pushing my luck there. The other Hibiki technically already has one but it used an existing Hibiki figure as a base

And yes, I am begging for a game that isn't gacha. I'm a lover of action games and RPGs so I would love something along those lines. I'm not horribly picky about the specific type

[paperback-bitch]

Review: Lock The Doors

By Vincent Ralph Hardback: n/a – Paperback: $10.99 – E-book: $8.98 Approx. 400 pages – Audiobook: 9 hours YA Thriller/Mystery

SYNOPSIS

The truth won't stay hidden behind locked doors.

Tom's family has moved into their dream home. But pretty soon he starts to notice that something is very wrong—there are strange messages written on the wall and locks on the bedroom doors. On the OUTSIDE.

The previous owners have moved just across the road, and they seem like the perfect family. Their daughter, Amy, is beautiful and enigmatic, but Tom is sure she's hiding something. And he isn't going to stop until he finds the truth behind those locked doors. . .

Will their dream home become a nightmare?

Themes: Grief and Loss, Survival, Relentless Pursuit of Truth

Tropes: We’re All Mad Here, Blended Family Struggles, The Trauma is Coming From Inside the House

Warnings: Mentions of Physical Abuse, Depictions of Psychological Abuse, Minor Character Death, and severe PTSD and grief around the loss of a child.

REVIEW

This is a weird one for me. It started of so painfully slow for me, and I personally feel the book is about 100 pages longer than it needed to be. The chapters are short – ridiculously short, in fact. Some of them are only half a page long, even. The longest chapter in this book was five and a half pages, and the majority of them average two pages or less. It was such a strange style for me and honestly turned me off so much that my pending 3-star dropped to a 2-star, and for a while, the book was in my DNF pile.

I let books linger there for a while before I give up on them completely, and ultimately when I decided to focus on thrillers and mysteries for September and October, I decided to give Lock the Doors another chance. After all, the mystery was intriguing me, and I did want to see how it resolved. So I picked it up again, and I devoured 2/3 of the book in a single night. I’m writing this review the same night, in fact, because man do I have some feelings about this book.

On one hand, I try to shy away from spoilers, because I believe in letting people experience the book on their own. On the other, I have revealed spoilers in the past when I feel it’s important to the integrity of my review. I’m trying to dance a delicate line on this one, because the twist managed to take me by surprise, which is rare. Well, that’s not quite true. I saw the twist coming, but the motive for it? Now that was a real twist, and it sparked genuine fury in me.

This book has a tangible villain. It’s a psychological thriller in the best way, where it really messes with your head and makes you question everything, but it does have a villain. The book doesn’t want you to think that, though. The main character, teenaged boy Tom, spends the entire book digging and digging into secrets that are none of his business, because he refuses to let someone suffer when he can help them. He saw what his mother endured, and it made him someone who can’t turn away when there’s even a chance someone needs help and he can provide it. And when he uncovers the full truth, he has sympathy for the one that is so clearly a villain in my eyes. I do not.

I understand why Tom sees it this way, and I understand why I believe the author wrote it that way. But I respectfully refuse to agree, and that may be a personal shortcoming of mine. If I relate to something in a book, if I see something in it that reflects my own life, I take it personally. And I took this book personally. Despite the slow start, the twist and reveal drew a fury out of me that had me wanting to hurl the book across the room, and I was turning pages so fast that I very nearly did. The villain in the novel, the cause of all the suffering of the characters, was basically a caricature of someone in my own life. It lent a level of pain to the book that I struggled hard to swallow down when it hit a little too close to home.

In the end, the ending was satisfying if a bit too tame for my taste, but again – personal shortcomings. I tend toward rage when I’m hurt, and I wanted the villain to suffer much more than they did.

FINAL THOUGHTS

4/5 stars. This would have been my first five star review on the blog, if not for the inane chapter lengths and the frustrating pacing. It takes skill to craft a villain so tangible and infuriating that it incites readers to rage, and I docked a star for the simple fact that the flaws almost led me to leaving the book unfinished before the reveal.

RECOMMENDATIONS

Fans of psychological thrillers, this is one for you. The twist was one I don’t see used often, and again, this book manages to get under your skin and evoke true emotion. If you’re into Holly Jackson, she has a similar vibe, and Karen McManus too.

[ninjakk]

LWJ's POV - Meeting WWX in MXY's body

I've often thought about what LWJs point of view would be during the novel. So I thought it might be interesting to write a little about what I think might be going through his head when he first meets WWX in MXYs body. Obviously this is conjecture, but I will try to base my thoughts on the text as much as possible. Also, as I've read the book many times, I already know the entire plot, so this will come into play as well. Otherwise we'd have no clue what LWJ was thinking, unless you're LXC I guess!

So I think it's pretty safe to assume that our lovely Lan SiZhui, being the exemplary junior he is, reported everything that happened at Mo Village back to LWJ once he arrived on the scene. LSZ probably would have told LWJ about someone controlling the fierce corpses and that MXY went missing once he arrived.

Chapter 8

Lan SiZhui had probably informed Lan WangJi of his suspicious behaviour in Mo Village already. Even so, he had nodded in acknowledgement, probably thanking him for helping out the juniors from the Lan Sect. Without thinking, Wei WuXian immediately returned a salute. When he looked up again, Lan WangJi had already disappeared.

When LWJ meets "MXY" for the first time at Dafan Mountain, he is polite and gives him a slight nod in thanks for helping the juniors back at Mo Village. At this point, LWJ doesn't know "MXY" is in fact WWX, so their interaction is brief. Although WWX does hold eye contact with him as he brushes past him - because he's a minx. So their first meeting is brief and interestingly enough, LWJ is the one to leave first - not WWX trying to get away as fast as he can, as he apparently does later in the chapters. (I personally don't think he tries much at all!)

After JL and the other juniors look like they are in trouble, WWX summons something to help defeat the soul-consuming goddess. To WWX's shock it turns out be WN. Eventually WWX has to play a calming tune to stop WN from developing a killing intent and harming others. WWX clears his mind and a soft song naturally comes to the forefront of his mind.

Chapter 10

To stifle it, Wei WuXian calmed his feelings and assuredly played another melody. The melody had drifted over his mind naturally. It was relaxed and tranquil, contrasting with the bizarre and ear-piercing one from before.

I just absolutely love the second interaction between WWX and LWJ. I can almost imagine LWJ hearing the melody of Wangxian being carried on the wind, floating down the mountain towards him. Calling out to him in a teasing, evocative tone - daring his heart to accept what he was hearing. Evoking so many strong emotions within him, it would have been such a moment of utter turmoil for him. Simultaneously wanting to believe that WWX was back from the dead, as the only logical explanation, and being frightened to let his heart believe such a thing could have actually happened. As no one else knows the song apart from the two of them, he really can't deny it.

We could even go as far as to say LWJ assumes WWX knows what the melody is called. When asked what the tune was called back in the Xuanwu of Slaughter cave, LWJ mumbled something to him twice before WWX passed out. So LWJ may well think, just like he assumes in the cave after the bloodbath of Nightless City, he heard what he said to him back then as well. MXTX likes drawing parallels, so it's not too much of a stretch to assume both apparent 'cave confessions' link up to the some of misunderstandings that surround their relationship.

Chapter 10

Wei WuXian retreated while playing the flute, guiding him to follow. Walking like this for a short distance, they moved into the forest, when suddenly, Wei WuXian caught the chilly scent of sandalwood. Immediately after, his back bumped into someone. With an abrupt pain on his wrist, the flute melody had stopped. Wei WuXian thought, oh no, and turned around to look. His sight collided with Lan WangJi’s eyes. They were light-colored to the point of appearing to be physically cold.

Hearing the music, we can assume LWJ probably got onto Bichen and flew up the mountain as fast as he could. He probably landed in the nearby forest up the top of the mountain and started searching for where the music was coming from. I think he would have been nervous, excited and very confused at this point. The back of "MXY" would have come into view as he edged into the forest, luring WN away from the crowd. Without any doubt, LWJ would have silently walked towards what he now knows is WWX. LWJ then grips WWXs wrist to stop him playing the flute any further.

He decisively ignored the hand that gripped him and raised his arm to continue playing. This time, the tempo was faster, as if it was urging or scolding. His air was not steady and each note cracked at the end, sounding shrill and harsh. Suddenly, Lan WangJi’s hand tightened, almost causing his wrist to break. Wei WuXian’s fingers loosened from the pain and the wooden flute dropped to the ground.

What WWX assumed is LWJ being angry at someone daring to use Demonic Cultivation in front of him, was in my opinion, LWJ trying to protect him. It is even confirmed in the text, that LWJ doesn't pay any attention to WN the whole time he is holding WWX's wrist. LWJ knows that JC is also somewhere around the mountain and that he absolutely hates anyone who mimics WWXs cultivation style. Which I think is why he is trying to stop WWX, to ensure he doesn't attract any attention from JC again. WWX continued to play the flute in order to make WN leave before more trouble ensued. LWJ intensifies his grip on WWXs grip to stop him playing.

Wei WuXian feared that Lan WangJi would chase after Wen Ning, so he backhandedly grabbed him instead. But, surprisingly, Lan WangJi never even looked at Wen Ning once, but stared at Wei WuXian the whole time. The two stood face toface, gripping each other’s arms, and stared.

I love the scene where they are gripping each other's arms and staring into each other's eyes. Whether WWX wants to admit it or not, there must have been some sexual tension there surely?! We aren't even privy to WWX's thoughts at this moment, which is quite interesting. As such, we can only imagine what's going through his head! Probably something to do with LWJ's sexy icey gaze - my personal headcanon! (Never mind WWXs obsession with his eyes - I think I'm developing one! ) On the other hand, LWJ is most likely thinking about how WWX must have seized someone's body, as I'm pretty sure he would not be aware of the technique MXY used.

At this point JC appears and is told about "MXY" summoning WN. JC doesn't need anymore proof, he knows this has to be WWX as WN was summoned - and he was supposed to be ash by now! JC decides to attack WWX with Zidian, in an attempt to whip his soul out of MXY's body.

He let go of his left hand, and a long whip dangled from it. The whip was extremely slender. Like its name, it was a streak of purple lightning which sizzled, as if it had just been taken away from a sky full of storm clouds. He held one side of it in his grip. As it was brandished, it seemed to let out rapid slashes of lightning! Before Wei WuXian moved, Lan WangJi had already placed his zither in front of him.

LWJ instantly protects WWX knowing that his soul will be whipped out of the person's body if it had been forcefully taken. So when WWX is whipped and nothing happens, LWJ (and JC!) are utterly shocked. LWJ is still convinced "MXY" is WWX, because he played Wangxian and no one else has ever heard this song - so he must be perplexed as to how WWX has managed to come back.

LWJ continues to protect WWX to ensure JC doesn't take him back to Lotus Pier and torture him. Personally, I think LWJ had every intention of taking WWX back to the Cloud Recesses this time around anyway - especially to protect him from JC. WWX tries to escape both of them by making them feel so uncomfortable around him they leave him alone. So he uses MXY's reputation as a lunatic and a cut-sleeve to try and scare JC and LWJ off.

Wei WuXian replied, “Which type? Well, I am very much attracted to people like HanGuang- Jun.” Lan WangJi could not tolerate this sort of frivolous and foolish joke at all. If he felt disgusted, he would definitely draw a line between them and keep his distance. Disgusting two people at once—this was killing two birds with one stone! However, as Lan WangJi heard this, he turned around. His face was emotionless, “Mark your words.” Wei WuXian, “Hmm?” Lan WangJi turned back, speaking in a mannerly yet resolute way, “I will take this person back to the Lan Sect.” Wei WuXian, “...” Wei WuXian, “...Huh?”

As we're assuming this from LWJ's POV, we are privy to information we weren't if we were reading MDZS for first time. With that in mind, LWJ is under the impression WWX remembers his confession to him after the Bloodbath of Nightless City. As such, he probably thinks WWX is being flirty and teasing him when he is acting as "MXY" out of gratitude towards him for saving him all those years ago. LWJ continues to protect WWX by taking him back to Gusu. Which I find quite poetic, considering LWJ wanted him to come back with him in WWXs first life.

Later still, WWX is apparently trying to get thrown out of the CR by climbing into bed with LWJ, attempting to 'disgust' him.

Chapter 12

Lan WangJi spoke, “Are you sure that this is what you want?” “...” For some reason, Wei WuXian felt that he should carefully consider his reply. As he was about to curl his lips into a smile, a numbness suddenly came from his waist, and his legs gave out. With a thump, he fell onto Lan WangJi’s body. The curvature of a half-smile was frozen on his lips. His head was at the right side of Lan WangJi chest and he couldn’t move at all. Lan WangJi’s voice came from above him. His voice was low and deep. His chest vibrated slightly as he spoke each word. “Then stay like this for the whole night.”

WWX teasing LWJ is something he has done since his first life, so LWJ probably assumes he's up to his old tricks again. LWJ has matured over the years and has accepted his love for WWX. As such, he can fully embrace WWXs teasing and can now even tease him back! Which is exactly what he does! In fact, I'd say LWJ has gotten very good at teasing WWX. WWX had already met his match with LWJ in nearly every way, but now he is competing for biggest tease as well!

Obviously everyone reads characters and text differently at times, so I'm sure there are many different ways to interpret LWJ's POV. But I just thought it would be fun to share my interpretation of one of my favourite characters.

[chrisevansjellybeans]

Undercover | Mob!Steve Rogers

I saw this post  by @rosierose-e​ and got inspired to write this mob! Steve Rogers smut. All mistakes are my own. 

ALSO THANK YOU FOR 400 FOLLOWERS! Love you all and appreciate the support immensely! Thank you :) 

Warning: Smut!!! NSFW choking, cockwarming, swearing

Part Two

Word Count: 5k

You squinted as you looked at yourself in the mirror. The weight of the false lashes a foreign feeling on your eyes. You felt like a clown. This was not you at all. You wore the basics: some foundation, concealer, blush, mascara and if you were really feeling fancy a lip gloss. But nothing heavy. One, your skin was unforgiving and if you went heavier than the BB cream you used you would have pimples for days. Two, in your line of work heavy makeup just wasn’t ideal. 

“Wow, you look amazing.” You looked up in the mirror to see the rookie Peter Parker getting into the van behind you. Peter was sweet, a little naive, but a good agent nonetheless. He had joined the force about three months ago and Director Fury had insisted he learn from the best, so now he was your partner for the remainder of the year. 

“Thanks, Pete.” You sighed as you straightened up, pulling the hem of the skin tight black dress down only to have it bunch up again. “I feel ridiculous.” 

“Well you don’t look it.” He handed you a cup of coffee and you took it with a grateful smile. You needed all the caffeine you could get tonight. 

Tonight you were going undercover at the notorious Red White and Blue Gala hosted by none other than notorious mob boss Steve Rogers. It was his lame attempt and pretending to be an upstanding citizen but hosting an event in honor of the men and women in service. A good cause but for a bad reason. It was rumored that more than just helpful charity happened at this event. 

 You and the rest of your team had been tailing Rogers for close to two years. Trying to get anything to tie the bastard down to all the crimes you knew his organization was behind. But he was good at his job. Leaving no trace evidence that could link any of the nefarious acts back to him. 

He was a cocky son of a bitch and you wanted to be the one to nail him. 

Peter glanced down at the watch on his wrist before clapping his hands together. “Almost showtime, partner.” 

You felt your hands get clammy as the nerves started to wrack your body. You had done undercover work before in the last seven years you’ve been a part of the force but there was something different about this one. Something more dangerous. Steve Rogers was a dangerous man. 

You turned back to the mirror and fixed your hair and makeup one last time before letting out a long breath. You again tried to pull down the hem of the dress but with no avail. You wanted badly to be mad at the catering company that you had been able to infiltrate but you knew that this was probably the work of Rogers. Sick bastard. 

You slipped on the four inch heels they gave you and you nearly stumbled into Peter as you tried to take a step. Heels. Another thing not usually worn in your line of business. 

“Okay, this is a listening device.” Peter explained as he pinned a small but beautiful butterfly pin on your right breast. You couldn’t help but chuckle as his hands fumbled as he accidentally grazed over where your nipple would be. “Sorry.” 

“It’s a boob, Parker. It’s fine.” Peter just nodded before finishing pinning it. 

“Anyway,” he continued. “It’ll be recording everything that we need and coming right back here to my feed in the van. It’s small enough that it won’t get detected by any scanners. Unfortunately we won’t be able to communicate but if you say ‘pineapple’ we’ll come in and get you out.” 

“Pineapple.” You said more to yourself than to Peter. 

“Pineapple. And I mean, Y/N. Anything starts to get fishy you get out of there. Roger’s is ruthless.” 

“I know.” You patted his shoulder. “Thanks for looking out for me, rook.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He pushed you out the van. “Kick ass, partner.” 

You gave him a small salute before turning around and following another group of girls dressed just like you into the expansive mansion in front of you. 

You tried not to be too awestruck as you took in the structure of the building. It looked like something out of an old mystery novel. The entire place was dark. Dark wood and dark furniture. The lights all a dimmed tan light that fed into the mysterious atmosphere. Your eyes darted to the artwork that littered the wall, all depictions of a fall from grace. 

Is that how you see yourself, Rogers? A fallen angel? 

“Hey!” You snapped back to attention as a frantic voice called over to you. “What the hell are you doing? Get to the kitchen.” 

You bit your tongue as you glared at the rude man before following the rest of the women into the kitchen. 

Dressed all like you, there were probably about twenty other women there. All of them easily could have been supermodels. The rude man pushed you towards a group of about three of them who were all balancing drinks on a tray. 

“Grab one and go.” The man, Stan you gathered from his nametag, said before turning to another group of women. You picked up a tray and prayed to all powers in the universe that the combination of full glasses of wine and these heels didn’t cause you to completely embarrass yourself. 

The ballroom was huge. You suddenly felt very small as you wandered around the room, offering drinks to some of New York’s most high profile residents. You kept your eyes peeled for the familiar mob boss. Your heart rate sped up as you noticed him across the room, chatting with a beautiful woman. You watched as he leaned down and whispered something to her, causing her to blush before playfully pushing his shoulder. He just smirked before turning his attention to the man on the other side of him-Clint Barton, completely ignoring her now, but she still stayed by his side watching his every move. 

Pathetic. 

You had to get to him. Get him alone and get him talking. But how? 

“Well aren’t you the prettiest thing in the room.” You felt yourself stiffen as a pair of hands wandered down your back and rested on your hip. The smell of expensive cologne attacking your senses. 

Slowly you turned around to find James “Bucky” Barnes looking at you like a predator to its prey. Bucky, was Steve’s right hand man. His best friend. He was handsome. Dark hair, even darker blue eyes and a smirk, that if he was anyone else, would have your panties melted off before you could even blink. You glanced down at the infamous metal arm that was hidden underneath an expensive suit jacket, but his hand flexed slightly as he noticed you looking at it. 

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” You forced out. “Can I offer you a drink?” You pushed the tray between the two of you in offering and also creating more space. 

“No, I’m all set, doll.” He raised his glass of scotch. “Just wanted to talk to a pretty thing like you.” 

“There are plenty of other beautiful women here.” You said, your voice slightly cold. You hoped he would get the hint. 

“None quite like you.” He smirked and you fought everything in you to roll your eyes. 

“Does that line actually work?” 

Bucky took a step back at your bluntness. You see out of the corner of your eye, Rogers and Barton start to head towards the door. You had to make a move, because if he left to go do business he might not come back down for a while. 

“It was nice talking to you, Mr. Barnes.” You quickly moved past him, ignoring his short “wait”. You rushed, but not too obviously, towards where Steve was heading. If you went fast enough you could cut him off. You felt your heart drop to your stomach as you tripped over your heels, the tray in your hand shooting forward and the glasses of red wine landing square on Steve Rogers’ suit. 

“What the fuck?” The room went silent at his angry outburst. You stumbled as you tried to stand up, but were immediately hoisted up when his large hands wrapped around the tops of your arms. 

“I’m so sorry, sir.” You sputtered. For a moment you forgot where you were. Why you were here. His blue eyes, dark with fury, scanned your face as he held your arms. You had never really taken a good look at him. All pictures in his file weren’t anything special or high definition. But now, seeing him up close? You were beginning to understand the woman from earlier giddiness. 

He was beautiful. 

You bit your lip as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. You suddenly felt very aware of your body and the fact that he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you. 

“Go.” He pushed you towards the door he had been walking to with Barton. You walked through the door with shaky legs as you heard him mutter something to Barton before following you. 

“Sir, I’m so-” 

“Shut up.” He growled as he stepped through the door, the heavy wood slamming shut behind him. “Walk.” 

You hesitated. You didn’t know where he wanted you to walk to. Grumbling, Steve once again pushed you forward and you just started walking down the hallway. As you walked down you noticed a door that was slightly ajar. You glanced in while walking past and took note of the firearms and drugs that were very obviously there.

“Keep. Walking.” Steve’s voice was harsh in your ear before you heard him slam the door shut. 

“Yes, sir.” you muttered. 

The two of you continued to walk until you made it to the room at the end of the hall. Tentatively you opened it, waiting for any different direction, but Steve remained silent behind you so you continued. 

The room was...different. It was very different from the dark vibe of the rest of the house. There was a large bay window to your left that overlooked the back of the house that homed a large garden and pool. The walls were painted a soft beige and the furniture a lighter wood than the rest of the house. Even the bed was covered in a white duvet that looked like a cloud just waiting to be jumped on. It was homey. It was nice. 

“Mr. Rogers-” 

“Who do you work for?” He demanded, shutting the door. 

You froze. You tried hard to make sure your face didn’t give away anything as he stared you down. You didn’t let your gaze falter as he stalked closer to you. 

“Lee’s Catering.” You answered earnestly. 

“Bullshit.” He was now only a foot away from you. His broad shoulders heaving as he raked you up and down. “I know every single girl that works for Stan. I’ve never seen you before. So answer me again and honestly this time. Who the fuck do you work for?” 

“So he’s not allowed to hire new girls?” You snapped, immediately covering your mouth with your hand. 

Fuck. 

“Watch your tone with me, sweetheart. You’re on very thin ice right now.” He closed the final gap between the two of you and you gasped when his hand went around your throat, but not tightening enough to cut off any oxygen. 

“That old bat isn’t allowed to hire anyone that I haven’t vetted.” He hissed in your ear. You shuttered as the vibrato of his voice sent shivers straight down to your core. 

“Please.” Your voice came out in a whisper as your eyes pleaded with him. 

Steve opened his mouth but nothing came out, his nose brushed along the curve of your neck and you sucked in a breath as his mouth latched onto the sensitive spot underneath your jaw. 

“Strip.” He commanded, pushing you back causing you to fall onto the bed. 

“What?” 

“Take off your fucking clothes so I can see if you’re wired.” He snapped. You slowly pulled at the hem of your dress before drawing it up your body and over your head. Before you could fully get it off he stopped you. Your heart stopped as he reached over to the butterfly pin and pulled it off the dress. You watched in horror as he walked to his door, opening it and calling out to someone at the end of the hall. 

“Yeah boss?” You tried to see him, but Steve’s frame was blocking the small opening in the door. 

“Take this and run a test. Let me know if it’s bugged.” He demanded before closing the door. When he turned around he raised an expectant eyebrow at you letting you know you still had to take off the dress. You resumed your actions and turned your face away when his eyes flared at the matching set of red lingerie you had on underneath. 

“See? No wires.” You whispered. 

Steve didn’t say anything as he stalked towards you, rolling up the sleeves to the dress shirt he had on. Your body flushed as he leaned over you, his strong arms resting on either side of your chest. Slowly, he moved on hand to the strap of your bra before lowering it down off your shoulder. His thumb brushed over your pebbling nipple and you wanted to smack the smirk that formed on his face straight off. 

“I better double check you’re not hiding anything anywhere.” He muttered before pulling the cup of your bra down, exposing your left breast. You shuttered as his thumb brushed over it again, this time with no barrier. His mouth was hot as wrapped his lips around the bud, causing you to let out an unwilling moan. Your hips bucked up as his tongue expertly ran over your nipple. His deftly unclipped your bra and moved his mouth to your other breast and continued the same assault. His hands moved down to your hips to steady them from bucking against his growing member. 

“Hmm, looks like we’re clear up here.” He chuckled as his lips moved up to your jaw before capturing your mouth with his. 

The kiss was fiery and embarrassingly so sent a wave of pleasure down to your aching core. You moaned into the kiss as you ran your fingers through his hair, giving it a tight tug. Steve growled at your movements as he fully leaned into you now, his muscular thighs trapping yours on the bed. 

You ran your tongue along his bottom lip before slipping it in to find his own. You nearly came as Steve moaned into your mouth, his hands tightening on you and pulling you up to meet his rutting hips. Using all your strength you spun the two of you around, your mouths still connected, so you were now straddling his pelvis. You pulled away from the kiss and sat up. 

Steve slowly opened his eyes, his pupils blown in desire as he looked up at you through hooded eyes. You began to unbutton his wine stained shirt, running your hands over his porcelain skin when it was fully opened. You traced your fingers over the tattoos that littered his abs and ribs. You took pleasure in the fact that Steve would shiver with every pass of your fingertip. 

“I’m sorry about the stain, Mr. Rogers.” You said innocently, leaning down, your breasts pushed together as they rested on his now bare chest. 

“You should be, princess.” His voice was deep. You let out a small yelp as one of his hands gave a harsh slap to your ass. “This is an expensive shirt. And don’t even get me started on the trousers.” 

You hummed in understanding as you gave tiny kisses across his jaw and neck, taking time to suck on the skin around his collarbone. Your hands wandered down his body till they came in contact with the trousers in question. Slowly you sat up, running your hands over the stain on his pants but your eyes never leaving his. 

“I hope you can get the stain out.” You licked your lips as you moved your body down his own until your face was directly by his crotch and the stain. You sucked on the stain near his cock and smiled when his member jumped in his briefs. You slowly pulled down his pants until he was just in his underwear, his cock trying so hard to break free from it’s confines. 

Steve groaned as you finally freed his aching member. You gave the tip a little kitten lick as you looked up at him. He was now resting his weight on his arms as he leaned back and watched you in absolute wonder. You brushed your thumb across the tip, dragging the precum that had gathered there down the rest of his shaft. Your mouth watered at the thought of having him in your mouth. But you wanted to torture him a bit more. 

You ran your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock, while your hand squeezed lightly at the base. You wrapped your lips around the tip, your tongue playing with the slit there before pulling back with a pop. 

“Mhmm, tasty.” You continued treating him like your own personal lollipop, but never fully enveloping his dick in your mouth. 

“Sweetheart, either fucking suck it like I know you can or I’ll shove it down your fucking throat.” Steve wrapped your hair into a makeshift ponytail and forced your head up. “Got it?” 

You didn’t respond, instead you finally took him into your mouth. You pushed past your gag reflex and took him all the way in until your nose brushed against the hairs on his naval. 

“Oh fuck.” Steve’s voice praised as he started moving his hips, fucking his cock down the back of your throat. 

Your eyes watered as you let him use your throat as his own little fuck toy. You reached between your legs trying to relieve the tension that was building there. You moaned around his cock as your fingers toyed with your clit. 

“Shit, I wanna come in that fucking pussy.” He moaned as he pulled you off the floor and threw you back on the bed. You laid back, your fingers moving back to your clit as you watched him fully take off his clothes. He watched you with interest as you moved your lace panties to the side and slid a finger up your slit, gathering your juices before gently rubbing your clit again. He ran his hands up your legs before grabbing your hand and stopping your actions. 

“This,” He patted harshly against your pussy and you moaned at the sensation. “Is mine. Don’t touch, unless I tell you to.” 

“Yes, sir.” You moaned as his fingers replaced yours. Your back arched as he dipped one finger into your hole. 

“Fuck, baby. When was the last time somebody fucked this little cunt? You’re so fucking tight, baby.” He moaned, watching as your pussy greedily closed around his finger. 

“You’re gonna feel so good around my cock, sweetheart.” Steve’s eyes met yours and for a moment he looked like a man that you might actually want to be with. His cold exterior was gone and replaced with a man who was just as lustfully lost as you were. 

“I want your cock now. Please.” you cried out as he slipped another finger in. Your body bucking as he curled his fingers up hitting that spot that so few had been able to get to with you. 

“Yeah? My little slut wants daddy’s cock to fill her up?” He leaned over you, capturing your lips again. You moaned into his mouth at his words. You never admitted it to anyone but you always had a little bit of a daddy kink. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly as waves of pleasure crashed over you. 

“Please, daddy.” You whimpered against his lips as your hips bucked against his. “Please fuck me.” 

Steve chuckled darkly, kissing you quickly again, before ripping your panties clean off your body. You didn’t even care that he just ruined the most expensive pair of underwear you owned. You just needed his cock in you now. 

You bit the inside of your cheek as you watched him lineup his cock with your dripping hole, slowly pushing the head into your tight channel. You both let out moans as he bottomed out. He fell forward, his forehead resting against yours. You whined as you tried to move your hips against his but he just forced them down with his hands. 

“Steve!” You all but screamed. “Please.” 

“Patience, baby.” He said through gritted teeth. “Your pussy’s so fucking tight. Squeezing daddy’s cock so good. I just need a minute.” 

You let out a humph as you continued to buck your hips against his. 

“What the fuck did I just say?” He growled, he leaned up and wrapped his hand around your throat. “Don’t be a fucking brat.” 

You opened your mouth to apologize but it was overtaken as you let out a yelp as he pulled himself out before slamming his cock back into you. You threw your head back as he fucked into you relentlessly, his hand tightening around your throat. You were in a state of euphoria as his cock dragged in and out of your walls. 

“Oh my god.” You mewl as he continues to completely destroy your pussy. Before you could process what’s happening, Steve flips you over so your face is pushed into the fluffy comforter. He pulls your hips back so your ass is in the air and he easily slides back into you. 

“Tight little cunt fucking loves my cock.” You cry out as his hand delivers a slap against your ass before moving to your hips and pushing you back onto his dick. You feel your eyes roll to the back of your head as the tip of his cock hits your g-spot. 

“Daddy!” You call out. Steve leans over and pulls you up by your neck, causing your back to be flush with his front as he fucks up into you. His other hand moves down to play with your clit. 

“Are you gonna come baby girl? I feel your pussy milking my cock. You wanna come?” He growls in your ear. “Huh? You wanna come all over my cock?” 

“Yes! Oh god, yes!” 

“I’m so close, princess.” He drops his head into the crook of your neck. “Come on, baby. Squeeze my cock, make daddy come with you.” 

You feel that familiar feeling in your tummy as your orgasm approaches. 

“Shit.” You breathe out as your orgasm gets closer and closer. Steve’s fingers move faster against your clit. You cry out as your orgasm finally crashes over you. Steve lets out a groan as you feel his cock twitch inside of you, his cum shooting inside your walls. 

“You feel so good.” He breathes as his orgasm dies down. You hum in agreement but you’re too tired to say anything else. You close your eyes as you feel Steve lower your both to the bed. You whimper as he pulls out of you. 

“I’ll be right back.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you just give him a nod. You’re completely incoherent. Totally fucked out. He’s gone for a couple minutes and you hear the water in the bathroom running before he comes back. With your eyes closed you don’t see how he pauses at the side of bed, appreciating the curves of your body as you curled yourself under one of his many blankets. 

You whine as you feel him move the blanket before running a washcloth between your legs. “Steve?” 

“Yes, princess?” You hate that your stomach flutters at the nickname. 

“Don’t leave.” You mutter, closing your eyes once more. 

Steve doesn’t respond for a second and at first you think that he’s going to leave but then you feel the bed dip and a strong arm pulling you close. You smile to yourself as your hand lands on top of his. 

“Get some rest.” He whispers in your ear. 

“Mmkay.” you hum and you don’t know if it’s your imagination or not but you swore you felt Steve smile against your skin. 

You wake with a jolt. You glance at the clock and curse silently. You’ve been asleep for two hours. You turn over and see Steve still there, his eyes closed and his breathing steady. You find yourself staring at his long eyelashes and how they rest gently along the tops of his cheek. He doesn’t look like a scary mob boss here. He looks human. He looks peaceful. 

“I can feel you staring.” Steve opens one eye and gives you a small smile. “Like what you see?” 

You gasp as he grabs you and has you straddle his hips. You rest your hands easily on his chest and stare down at him, smirking as you feel his cock start to stir. 

“Hmmm, I love these.” His hands reach up and twist at your nipples causing you to bite back a moan. 

“Steve…” 

“And your pussy is so responsive to me, princess. It’s like it was made for me.” He rubs his thumb across your clit. “I can feel how wet you are again.” 

“Well you’re playing with my clit. Of course I’m gonna get wet.” You retort. 

Steve raises an eyebrow at you. “You really think being sassy is in your best interest?” 

You roll your eyes but don’t respond. Steve grumbles before lifting you up a bit and impaling you on his now hard cock. 

“Fuck!” You slap his chest and Steve chuckles. Nonetheless you start rocking your hips against his. 

“Nuh uh,” Steve tuts. He holds your hips still. “You’re just gonna sit here like this. Keep me nice and warm.” 

“Steveeee.” You whine, lowering your head to his chest. 

“Don’t be such a brat then.” He growls. You raise your head to look at him and even though his words are tough, his eyes are soft. And for a moment your taken back. “So sit still for daddy.” 

You groan but stay still. Steve runs his fingers up and down your back, tracing patterns along your skin and you hum in appreciation. Your peaceful moment is upended though when his phone rings on the nightstand next to him. 

“Rogers.” He answers quickly. You stay quiet as you hear the voice on the other end of the line talk about the product movement. You smirk to yourself as Steve begins to discuss logistics, completely ignoring your presence. 

“I’m a little busy, Stark.” Tony Stark? As in Mayor of the city Tony Stark? He was in on this too. “I’ll call you back.” Steve threw his phone back on the nightstand and brought your face up to his to pull you into a searing kiss. 

“Please, daddy?” You say against his lips. You start rocking your hips again and this time, Steve doesn’t stop you. 

You're a moaning mess as Steve’s hips snap up yours, your orgasm fast approaching. 

“Gonna cum already?” 

“Yes, yes! Oh god, I’m so close!” You breathe as he quickens his pace. 

“Cum, baby girl. Make a mess on daddy.” He groans, his head tipping back. 

“Steve!” You choke out as your body spasms with pleasure. Steve comes quickly after you and you shutter as you feel his seed leaking out of your worn out hole. 

You lay your head down on his chest again and try to gather your thoughts. You need to get out of here. 

“I should go.” You whisper, sitting up. Steve’s cock is still inside you and you almost don’t want to leave because you feel so full. 

“I wanna see you again.” He runs his fingers across your cheek. The sense of power you feel seeing the country’s biggest mob boss underneath you, drunk on your sex is overwhelming. You love the feeling. 

“You will. Soon.” You lean down and give him a deep kiss. “I promise.” You peck his lips once more before gathering your clothes from the floor. 

Slipping on your shoes you give him one last wink before hurrying out the door and down the hall. You manage to find a way to the kitchen without having to walk through the rest of the party and you sneak out behind a delivery man who brought in a ridiculously large ice sculpture. 

Once you're outside you take your heels off and run towards the van down the street. You hurriedly knock on the back, checking your surroundings to make sure no one sees you. Peter opens the door and he looks like he’s seen a ghost when he sees you. 

“Y/N!” He pulls you into the van. “Oh my god, I was getting worried. When we heard him say that he wanted to check the pin I had to turn off the devices so they wouldn’t get traced. And then you didn’t come out. But Fury said that you would be fine but man, I was so nervous and-”

“Parker, shut up and hand me a piece of paper.” You clapped your hands together, pulling him out of his ramble. Peter nodded and handed you a pen and paper watching intently as you started writing down everything you overheard on the phone call. 

“What is this?” 

“Rogers is working with Stark and they're moving some sort of product tomorrow.” You said proudly.

“How did you...this is huge!” 

“My Ma always said that there are two ways to get to a man. One is through his stomach and the other is in his pants.” You shrugged. 

“And I’m guessing you didn’t make him a grilled cheese sandwich.” Peter makes a face. 

“Not exactly.” You laugh. “Now let’s go. We gotta get this to Fury.” 

Part 2

[mitsukui]

what you do is secret | f.w.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x female reader.

Summary: Fred is caught red-handed ━ based off this request I got! It was supposed to be a blurb, but I got a bit carried away, heh.

Word Count: 1,8k of pure smut (I FEEL NASTY).

Warnings: smut! Masturbation and oral sex (male receiving both). I imagined it taking place on April 5, 1996, during the Easter holiday, right before Fred and George left Hogwarts, so all characters are 18+!

Disclaimer: none of the pictures used in the edit below belong to me; I simply put them together.

A/N: thank you so much for the request, anon! Please, leave me some feedback if you feel like it! My askbox is open for your opinions, thoughts and requests. Thank you so much for your time and attention ❤

Masterlist!

Your ears perked up as you heard something that sounded quite novel to you. You leaned in closer to the wooden door and pressed your ear against the cold surface, your hand being placed right beside your face.

Loud whines and shaky sighs echoed in one of the Gryffindor dorms - the one that belonged to Fred Weasley and four other boys. You worriedly furrowed your eyebrows together, fearing for the worst. It was impossible for you to know who was on the other side of the door, yet you could not leave someone there, to suffer somehow.

You had gone to Fred's dorm to ask him if he wanted to do something together before the Easter holiday was over, especially because you both had recently turned eighteen, but still had not gotten the chance to celebrate it. However, you now stood with a heavy heart inside your chest.

Until you heard it.

Fred moaned huskily and, if your ears were not playing tricks on you, you could swear your name left his lips, too. A trail of lustful whimpers continued flourishing between the walls of his dorm, and you continued there, behind the door, listening to him.

It was deliciously intoxicating. By now, it was pretty clear what he was doing, but you did not feel bothered by it one bit. In fact, you felt pretty honored to become aware of the fact that you occupied his mind even in moments like that one.

A smirk flashed across your face and you leaned in even further towards the door, trying to destroy the only thing existing between the two of you. Your insides started to tingle, and a feeling that you had never experienced before took shape in your loins.

Closing your eyes, you attempted to imagine what Fred looked like at that moment. You had never seen him completely naked before, which meant you could allow your imagination to run wild and, oh boy!, you did it.

The image of him being shirtless popped into the back of your mind, and a dreamy sigh escaped your lips. That was a sight you were used to, not that you had any complaints about it. His milky skin with a constellation of numerous tiny freckles became vivid in your head, and you could see all of his muscles. His veins were there, too, leading down to the place you wanted to see the most.

Your eyelashes fluttered and you pressed your thighs together, the new sensation sinking in your body. Suddenly, it all became too much for you. You could not stand in silence there and only listen.

The wooden door was gently pushed, scaring Fred being the last item on your list of intended actions, and your curious eyes fell upon the stone eyes first and then, upon him.

He was the only one in the boys’ dormitory, his body spread on his bed. One of his hands was wrapped around his cock while the other held tightly on his sheets. His eyes were closed, his lips were slightly parted and his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

Fred Weasley had been dominated by a huge pang of crave for you.

Everything you did was magical to him. He spent many hours wondering how someone could be so seductive without even noticing. The way you licked your fingers after eating something with your own hands, the habit you had of biting down on your lower lip, the breathy sighs that escaped from you every single time his lips brushed against your skin, the urgency you had to dig your nails onto his skin whenever he kissed your neck.

He was unable to look at you and not feel the need to pleasure himself.

Almost like you were in a trance, you stood still and watched him quietly. Your eyes captured every movement he made: his hand moving up and down, his grip on the sheets becoming tighter each second, his chest rising and then falling again, his toes curling, his hips bucking up, his tongue wetting his lips, and his Adam’s apple moving roughly every time he cursed out in lust.

You felt like a new world had been discovered, and you wanted to dive right into it. Your body had been taken by a billion of unprecedented jitters and you ached to do something about it. Nothing had ever happened between you and Fred until that very moment, but you were determined to change that.

Tiptoeing your way to his bed, you fought against the enormous need to immediately touch him. It was not like you knew what to do, but copying his actions seemed to be a good idea, once he was moaning repeatedly now.

“You look so hot right now.” Even though your voice came out as a silky whisper, he still got a tad startled. He opened his eyes to find you approaching him to down on his bed, extremely close to his trembling. Almost choking on his own breath, he tried to cover himself and come up with an explanation for what was happening, but you shushed him with a brief peck.

“Don’t stop.”

He felt as if he had heard incorrectly, but then nodded obediently and his hands started pumping his shaft again. As much as you wanted to continue looking at him and to study his face contorting in pleasure, what was going on down there was so much more interesting.

So you did. You looked at his cock. More precum leaked from his reddish tip, a new desire from being watched appearing in his groins, and was soon spread all over his member by the way his hand traveled all the way up and then down again. He kept a rapid pace, a very light pressure being put on his movements.

“Go slower.” You spat out of nowhere, a little dominant creature coming to life inside you. Perhaps, you were not experienced enough to touch him. You surely knew how to use your words, though. “Go very, very slow and use your other hand to run your fingers across your tip.”

At first, neither of you knew what had gotten into you. But it was obvious you two were enjoying it.

He followed your commands and cried out loud at the sensation of his sensitive being touched. His hips bucked up, and your hands all of a sudden pushed them down. Your warm touched caused him to squirm.

“Yes, just like that, Freddie.” You cooed and let one of your hands to run over his flexed abs. Just then you noticed how tense he was, and how he had been breathing heavily. “You okay? You seem a little bit tense…”

He chuckled at your oblivion for sexual matters, which only turned him on even more, and spoke through weak murmurs. “Yeah, it’s just that I’m close, you know? About to cum.”

“So I want you to stop, Freddie.” You placed your hand over one of his and gave it a light squeeze. He looked confused for one second, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead. But he did not follow your orders this time; he continued stubbornly moving both of his hands, the fast pace returning to his actions.

“But I’m so close, princess. Just let me cum, please, I’m really close.”

“Stop.” Your voice sounded slightly strict, and he groaned in ecstasy. This side of yours was completely new to you two, but the effect was much bigger on him.

Once his hands were no longer moving according to his pleasure, you took his lips on yours and kissed him slowly. You moved your tongue sloppily, your teeth grazing his lip ever so softly, and your fingers roaming his body.

Your kisses were not exactly the most innocent thing in the universe at that moment, and he still whined from time to time, asking to continue his little game.

“Go on, Freddie, touch yourself for me.”

A moan escaped his lips and, as soon as he wrapped his shaft around his fingers again, you lightly ran over fingers over his tip. He arched his back and murmured for you to continue.

“Do you like that?” Fred panted and tried to form coherent sentences to answer you properly, but he was only able to whimper and nod his head. “Does it feel good?” He repeated his actions from seconds before and you smiled, looking back at him for the first time after a while.

Boldly, you placed your hand over his and mimicked the way he caressed his cock. A pool of arousal was being gathered on your panties, and you pressed your thighs together again, trying to get some relief. His eyes captured your actions and he loved discovering he had some sort of effect on you. The pleasure within him was growing to be too much again.

“Princess, please. I’m close.”

But you stopped again. An utter frustration painted his insides and he groaned loudly. A light pain was felt by him, and Fred pleaded you to let him cum. You shook your head sweetly, and explained to him you were mesmerized by the show.

“Let’s try this one more time, shall we?”

Now you positioned yourself between his legs and, for the first time since it had started, you felt a wave of anxiety playing with your heart. You had never done anything like that before, but there was something about the position that Fred was in that really tempted you.

“Can you guide me through it?”

If he was not so painfully aroused, he would have grabbed your face and littered a ton of kisses on it. But he had other cravings at that moment, and it was high time he acted on them.

“Start by using your tongue, princess.”

It was turn to follow orders and you did it amazingly well. In a very short period of time, he was close to reaching his so postponed orgasm and you wanted to see what it would result in.

After his requests, you did not stop. You kept on using your tongue, hollowing your cheeks and moaning against his cock. But you acted painfully slow, frustration growing inside him again. He felt humiliated, ready to feel his warm tears stinging and staining his cheeks.

And then, it happened. You felt the warm strings of his release exploding in your mouth. You tasted his cum and, even though it was not the most pleasant thing that had laid on your tongue, you enjoyed it enormously.

He needed a minute or two to return from his high and, when he did, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes glistened a bit. As you swallowed his cum, secretly wondering if you had done the right thing, he cleared his throat, and groaned one final time.

“How about I take care of you now, princess?”

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Seven // Wanda Maximoff

chapter six | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter eight

author’s note: hope y’all like this one 👀

The Maximoffs were just as a good at throwing a party as my own parents were.

Celebrating a new book that was published at Pietro's business, they threw a party in their back garden big enough to host half the town if they wanted to. Actually, now that I thought about, half the town was probably there.

We were invited to celebrate along with them because we were 'family' now, as Oleg and Iryna pointed out, so I found myself standing in their garden getting a drink under the night sky and trying to blend in with the snacks table so I wouldn't have to mingle. Parties still weren't my thing, clearly.

People-watching was more my forte. It was amazing the things people did when they thought nobody was looking. One guy coughed into his hand and wiped it on his pants – I reminded myself not to shake his hand – whilst some woman checked if her teeth were clean on the back of a serving tray.

My gaze raked the garden, indifferent to the men who attempted to get women's attention with a boyish grin and terrible pick-up lines, or the women who lifted their dresses a little higher than necessary to steal a man's attention. I spotted my parents talking to some guests whom I'd never see before, then there was Wanda's parents laughing alongside Pietro as he told a joke to some important looking people.

Eventually, my eyes fell to the remaining Maximoff, who was looking especially beautiful tonight. A deep lilac gown adorned her figure and she wore it like it was uniquely made just for her. She probably didn't even realise, but all eyes were definitely on her; a simple stride around the garden had people turning heads to see who the lilac beauty was. Y/B/N was the most envied man of the evening, with every guy here wishing they could have Wanda on their arm.

I'd wanted to tell her just how truly stunning she looked tonight, but I hadn't been able to pull her away from my brother's side for even a second. Everywhere he went, she went, too. I'd caught her eyes maybe three times tonight since she was so involved with whatever she spoke about with the people who worked for Pietro. I didn't take it personally of course, but it didn't make me feel any better.

Y/B/N had his hands all over her, probably suspecting just how many people were checking her out tonight, and I hated the way it made me feel. Envy and jealousy came over me and it wasn't pleasant. His hand was permanently fixed on her waist, at times moving suspiciously lower and making me roll my eyes. Occasionally, he'd lean over and whisper something in her ear making her flush – involuntarily or not, I didn't know. Wanda was a good actress, appearing as the perfect fiancé to him and couple to everybody else. Or, at least, I hoped it was acting.

"Pretty ladies shouldn't be standing by their lonesome," said someone with a Sokovian accent, but sadly not the one I wanted to hear.

"Pietro," I said with an amused smile, turning to face the man of the evening. "Congratulations on the new published book!"

He smiled appreciatively. "Thank you, Y/N. How are you finding the party?"

I glanced around, disguising my discomfort with a nod. "It's great."

He chuckled, as if suspecting that was a lie, before changing the subject. "So, the book. Have you read it?"

Glad that this was something I could actually talk about, my shoulders relaxed and I nodded. "Yes! I bought it yesterday as soon as it was published. I've only read the first six chapters, but what I've read is beautifully written."

Pietro snickered, raising his brows. "Only? That's further than anyone here has read."

I smiled bashfully, eyes veering elsewhere with embarrassment. "I guess I just have a lot of free time."

He hummed with amusement. "And you must really like reading... Wanda mentioned you write, too. It's nice to know it runs in the family."

Certain my cheeks were flushed, I nodded. "Yeah, our dad, he taught Y/B/N and I how to write when we were kids. That's where my love of literature began."

"And what do you like to write?" he asked, intrigued.

I shrugged, the grip on my glass of champagne loosening as I grew comfortable. "I don't know... short stories, drabbles, novels. I mainly deal with themes of love and romanticism. We're so intent on leading our lives with what other people want that we rarely take time to think about we want... I write about that."

Swallowing, I looked to Pietro, hoping I wasn't boring him. He was a publisher after all, besides my soon-to-be brother-in-law. His opinion was important to me.

"I must admit, Y/N, my interest is piqued," he admitted, watching me with an inquisitive gaze. "Do you have anything I could read?"

"It's probably better than it sounds," I said dismissively, knowing this was just small talk.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "I doubt that. You shouldn't say such things. You never know, you could be my next signed author."

I tried not to laugh. "Nice try, Pietro."

He smiled widely. "What? I'm serious!"

Tilting my head towards him knowingly, I sighed. "We both know that can't happen."

He was grinning now, clearly entertained by my unamused expression. "Says who?"

I motioned around us with my drink. "Says everyone? The world we live in?"

He began to list authors on his fingers as he said, "Jane Austen. Emily Bronte. Mary Shelley. Louisa May Alcott. Dare I name more?"

"Okay, okay, I get it," I said, pushing his hand down and rolling my eyes at his smug expression. "But I can promise you that all of those women fought tooth and nail to get published. Their families probably weren't as accepting as they wanted them to be. There's still people now who talk about how unprofessional and lacklustre their works are. They didn't have it easy. Still don't. And don't even get me started on the reputation side of things for you... d'you know how much backlash you'd get for signing a woman?"

Pietro shrugged, sipping his drink, before saying casually, "I only care about talent, Y/N. And if you have even a quarter of the talent your brother does, then I'm happy to go from there."

I quirked a brow, trying to gauge if he was pulling my leg or not. But the kind eyes looking back at me suggested he may not have been. Either way, the idea of actually being published – something I'd been dreaming of since I was a kid – was enough to raise my suspicions and make me shake my head.

"Thanks for listening, Pietro," I said conclusively, hoping he got the hint.

He nodded, accepting my word, thankfully. "Anytime. Hopefully this isn't the end of this conversation, though."

I cracked a smile, knowing it was but giving him the benefit of the doubt. He pursed his lips, glancing around briefly before attempting to hide an amused smile.

"What are you smiling at?" I teased, nudging him in the arm slightly.

His eyes met mine, sparkling with mischief. "You've probably not noticed, but as we've been speaking, almost everyone in this garden has looked our way."

I cocked my head with confusion, smile still present. He nodded subtly, eyes flickering to the right, so I followed his gaze and inconspicuously looked around. He was right, as murmurs of gossip escaped people's lips, their eyes trying to get a good look at the two of us. Even our parents were looking our way, no doubt discussing our future wedding affair.

"Wow," I breathed out, trying not to laugh as I looked back to him. "You'd think they'd have something better to do."

He leaned in, muttering, "Wanna give them a show?"

My eyes flickered between his, seeing that roguish charm of his come to life. I couldn't resist his mischievous attempt to piss off our parents, so of course I nodded with a stifled laugh.

"Care to dance, Miss Y/L/N?" he asked, a little louder than he needed to, attracting more attention.

I grinned, grateful for the idiot that was Pietro. He was already making my evening ten times better than it was.

Resting my hand in his outstretched one, I nodded. "Thank you, Mr Maximoff."

I barely had chance to put my glass down before he led me to the area before the live band that was strumming a lovely upbeat ballad. We joined the other couples that were also having a dance, unbothered by their nosey stares.

Bowing dramatically, he smiled and I curtsied before resting a hand on his shoulder and the other in his. He rested a hand on my waist respectfully before a grin spread across his lips and he began to dance me around everybody else, way too fast for me to keep up.

"Pietro!" I exclaimed between fits of laughter, trying not to trip over my feet or his.

"You said we could dance," he answered simply, before spinning me around.

My eyes went dizzy as he dipped me, making me laugh joyfully. For the first time all night, I was having fun. When he pulled me up, his eyes motioned to the left of us.

"D'you think our parents have already picked the wedding venue?" he teased.

"Definitely," I said with a nod, before shoving him back slightly. "But you, mister, need to slow down. You're like a speedster with the dancing. We should call you Quicksilver."

He laughed, continued to dance me around but much more slower this time. "I like that. You're clever. I can see why Wanda has taken a liking to you."

I knew he didn't mean it like that, but my heart dropped to my stomach anyway. A hearty chuckle escaped his lips as he noticed my expression. Thankfully, he didn't question it and we continued to make a fool of ourselves for a few more songs before taking a break by the snacks table.

"You're an idiot," I told Pietro as we caught our breath, but a delighted smile was on my lips. "You know you've probably convinced our parents that we're a couple now, right?"

"Hey, you're the one who started to fluff my hair like you loved me!" he retorted with humoured eyes.

"Because you're just so darn cute!" I mocked him, before moving forward and going in to fluff his hair yet again.

He attempted to smack my hand away as he said, "Hands off the hair, Y/L/N! I styled it perfectly!"

Grabbing my wrists, he held me back and I tried not to cry with laughter at the expression on his face.

"Such a child," I decided, pulling my hands away. "Whatever happens from here on out is definitely your fault."

He scoffed, as if ready to refute that fact, but before he could say anything, my brother's voice was heard.

"It's nice to see you actually conversing with people for a change, but maybe not my publisher."

Pietro and I turned and saw Y/B/N and Wanda approaching us. My brother seemed entertained by Pietro and I, looking between us with pre-conceived ideas that we may have already fancied each other, just like everyone else had tonight. Wanda, meanwhile, was watching me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"He's good company, what can I say?" I joked, returning my brother's smile.

"Oh?" He raised a brow, knowing look in his eyes.

I rolled my own, trying not to laugh at his insinuation. There was no point trying to convince him otherwise.

"I was just giving Y/N here the best evening ever since she was moping around in the corner," Pietro explained nonchalantly, making me smack his arm.

"I was not moping!" I defended myself.

He shrugged, ghost of a smile on his lips. "Whatever you say."

I gave him a playful glare before focusing my attention to the couple before us.

"As lovely as it is to see whatever this is," my brother continued to make things awkward as he motioned between us, "I came to get Pietro. Someone from the press is here and has questions about the book."

At the mention of this, Pietro straightened up and neatened his bow tie, flashing my brother his most confident smile. "Lead the way, Y/B/N."

After assuring Wanda he'd be back in a second, Y/B/N let go of her waist and guided Pietro to the members of the press. Glad that he'd finally left her side, I looked to Wanda with a soft smile.

"Hey," I said quietly, glancing around before saying what I'd wanted to say all night. "You look radiant tonight, Wanda." 

Unexpectedly, she crossed her arms and pressed her lips together firmly. "How was your dance with Pietro?"

Her green eyes, literally green with envy, watched me with distaste. It didn't take long for me to recognise that familiar jealousy entwined in her expression because it was probably the same way I looked when she was with my brother. For some reason, this made me smile with amusement.

"He's a very good dancer," I said, half truthful and half trying to poke fun.

She wasn't amused. "Yeah, everybody saw. You've been all over him."

I covered my mouth, trying very hard not to laugh. "I mean, he's pretty funny to be around. I can totally see why everybody wants us to get married."

Her jaw clenched as she narrowed her eyes at me.

"C'mon, it's a joke," I said lightheartedly, nudging her in the arm. "You know that."

After internally debating whether or not to believe me, she relaxed her shoulders and unclenched her jaw. "I know."

"So, what's the problem?" I asked, raising a brow and smiling playfully.

She rolled her eyes. "Nothing."

My smile faded as I searched her eyes. "C'mon. What is it? You know you can tell me."

"Forget it, Y/N," she muttered, avoiding my eyes.

Realising she was still clearly bothered, I sighed dramatically, hoping to lighten the mood. Making sure my voice was low enough for only her to hear, I said, "I only danced with him to annoy our parents. Same with him. He's clearly not interested in me and neither I with him. That's why we get along so well." Teasing her once more, I added, "If circumstances were different, I'd like to think we'd be good friends. He's quite handsome, though I think the good looks are a Maximoff twin thing. Maybe if–"

"I'm in love with you!"

I paused, blinking, unsure if I'd heard correctly. Her cheeks were flushed as she looked to me with exasperation.

Glancing around to make sure nobody was attracted by her outburst, I swallowed hard. My heart was pounding in my ears as she said what I'd been struggling to accept for the past two months.

"What?" I breathed out, raising my brows with surprise.

She licked her lips, realisation replacing her look of admission. Opening her mouth to say something, she stepped forward, but my brother returned with an oblivious smile on his face and interrupted the moment.

"Wanda, the journalists want a picture of us for their article," he said enthusiastically, returning his arm around her waist and tugging her close, making my skin crawl.

Her gaze lingered on me for as long as she could before looking up to my brother with a halfhearted smile.

"Sure," she agreed reluctantly.

My brother nodded at me before leading Wanda away. She gave me one last look, her eyes trapped with unsaid words, before leaving with him. My mouth went dry as Wanda's words echoed in my mind. She was in love with me. And I knew I was in love with her, too. I had been for a while.

But wouldn't admitting that make this whole thing a lot more complicated?

—

"Will you stop shaking your hand? It's very distracting."

I stopped shaking my hand and gave my mum an apologetic glance before facing the door again. I was extremely eager and nervous to see Wanda again, as I hadn't been able to see her for the rest of the party last night.

Her words were permanently resounding in my mind all night, making it difficult to fall asleep. The reality of our situation had dawned on me and I knew that even though everything would become more difficult between us, I had to tell her that I felt the same way. The last thing I wanted was her panicking that I didn't. Because these last two months loving her in secret were better than anything I'd experienced in my life.

Iryna and my mum had made plans to hang out today, including Wanda and I in the plans without actually telling me until this morning. I didn't mind though as I was hoping it could be an opportunity for us both to finally speak.

The front door opened to reveal Iryna with a bright, inviting smile. She exchanged greetings with us both and ushered us inside instantly. There, waiting, was Wanda, looking as gorgeous as ever. A calm suddenly enveloped me as I looked to her, my heart fluttering in my chest more so than usual. She loved me and that thought alone made me feel giddy inside.

"You must come upstairs to the closet with me," Iryna insisted before I could utter a word to the brunette. "I've been very silly and impulse-ordered a bunch of new dresses. Of course, the only way to fix that is to try them on."

My mother laughed alongside her and the two of them looked to Wanda and I questioningly. I smiled their way, glancing at Wanda, before following them upstairs. Maybe later.

I spent the next hour trying on clothes against my own will, modelling them for Wanda and our mothers awkwardly. Ecstatic, our mothers threw their opinions out at me, but I was barely listening because all I could seem to focus on was a quiet Wanda. I couldn't read her mind for the life of me – she was getting better at hiding how she truly felt.

Wanda also tried some dresses on, still not as enthused as she usually was, but neither of our mothers seemed to take notice. I sat on the lounge sofa alongside them, eyes unable to look away from Wanda as she modelled the dresses. I had no words, my mind hazy and tongue tied as she stole my breath away for the millionth time. She was ethereal.

"...what do you think, Y/N?" Iryna asked, forcing me to look away from Wanda and to her. "She should keep this one, shouldn't she?"

I hummed in agreement, looking back to Wanda, who was avoiding my eyes. "She should. I don't think I've ever seen a dress so perfect for someone before."

Our mothers didn't seem to think much of my comment, but Wanda finally looked up, not ignoring me for the first time since I got here. I offered her a small smile, hoping she could see what I'd been wanting to say to her since last night. But she looked away, chewing on her lip and looking down.

"I'm gonna change," she mumbled, before turning to go back behind the curtain.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned back against the seat. I'd just have to find a spare moment.

Iryna and my mum proceeded to try on a bunch of dresses before we called it a day and were ready to eat lunch.

"I want you to have these, Y/N," Iryna told me as we all stood up, motioning to the pile of dresses on the arm of the sofa. "It's my gift to you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, Iryna, you don't need to give–"

"Don't be ridiculous," she cut me off with a wave of her hand. "You're family now. Anything for my daughter-in-law."

I smiled awkwardly, not missing the eye roll from Wanda, before nodding. "Thanks..."

She looked to her daughter. "Wanda, medovyy (honey), can you help her pack them away and meet Y/M/N and I outside on the patio for some lunch?"

Wanda, having no other choice but to say yes, nodded and forced a smile in her mum's direction. "Sure, mum."

Our mothers fell into conversation as they left the room, finally leaving Wanda and I alone. I released a breath, grateful for the privacy, and looked to the Sokovian in question.

"You okay?" I asked slowly, wanting to find a start before erupting straight into my feelings.

She nodded, nibbling on her lip. She looked like she wanted to say something more, so I watched her patiently.

After a pause, when I thought she may just stay quiet forever, she spoke. "If what I said last night was out of line, I'm sorry."

I shook my head, a smile curling on my lips. "It wasn't. I'm in love with you, too."

Surprised, she finally met my gaze, eyes swirling with confusion. "You are?"

"Of course I am," I said quietly, stepping forward and taking her hands in mine. "I didn't mean to make you jealous last night. Pietro and I were genuinely just hanging out as friends."

She shook her head, eyes flickering between mine. "It doesn't matter about that. Forget it."

I still felt guilty, adding, "I know, but it does matter. I don't want to–"

She pressed her lips to mine quickly, cutting me off. Her fingers tangled in my hair as she tugged me closer with her other hand, making me gasp when my body touched hers. I kissed back, closing my eyes and moving my lips against hers in perfect sync.

I probably could have kissed her all afternoon, but the sound of the door opening made us both jump apart, startled. It was just a servant who was coming in to clean up the room. When she saw us, she gave us a small smile before moving around the room carefully. My eyes fell to Wanda's excited ones, and I smiled at her before nodding to the dresses.

"We should sort this out before they wonder what's taking so long," I told her, moving to pack them.

She nodded, grabbing my hand and squeezing it gently before helping me. We packed the dresses in no time before joining our mums out on the patio where they were sat with our lunch. I tried to keep my eyes off Wanda as our mothers spoke to us about God knew what, but it was hard when all I wanted to do was kiss her over and over, telling her just how much I loved her.

"...nice to see you both getting along lately," Iryna was talking, and I only zoned back in when I realised she was looking at me.

I blinked. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Wanda stifled a smile as my mum gave me a disapproving look from across the table.

Iryna didn't seem to mind as she chuckled. "You and Pietro," she continued. "You both seemed very comfortable at the party last night."

I settled on a polite smile. "He's a gentleman. Very nice to be around, I guess."

Iryna smiled knowingly, exchanging glances with my mum before patting Wanda on the forearm, getting her attention. "How does that sound, dear? Your brother and Y/N together?"

I shook my head instantly, realising how she'd taken my words. "That's not what I meant."

Humming in response, Iryna continued to look to her daughter. "You may have to start sharing your new best friend with Pietro."

Remembering Wanda's jealousy last night, I spared her a glance of concern, hoping she wouldn't let this get to her. She was smiling, but her eyes were dimmed with dismay.

"Uh-huh," she played along with her mother's words, before using her fork to pick at her food.

As our mums began to talk about it, I found Wanda's hand under the table and laced my fingers in hers, hoping she'd know I only cared about one person and it was her. Though she didn't look up, her hand tightened around mine and she didn't let go.

The rest of the lunch went by as expected, though the more Iryna and my mother mentioned the wedding, the more Wanda and I grew uncomfortable. It was so much harder to hear about it when I knew my feelings were growing stronger for the brunette every day. By the end of the meal, my mother was happy to go back home and said I could stay to hang out with Wanda, which of course I did.

After bidding her a goodbye, I let Wanda drag me upstairs and to her bedroom, though the door closed when she spun around and pushed me against it, immediately kissing me. Before I could even question what was happening, she pulled away and looked at me through a half-lidded gaze.

"I don't want to share you with my brother, ever," she rasped out lowly, before licking her lips. "I don't want to share you with anyone."

She breathed out, her breath mingling with mine. Her hands rested on my waist before she reattached our lips, moving hers slower and more thoughtfully against mine.

I closed my eyes, grabbing her face and holding her gently, letting her slip her tongue between my lips and play with mine. Then she sucked on my lower lip, teeth nibbling gently at the sensitive skin, and made my insides go warm and fuzzy.

When she let go, she trailed kisses down my jaw and to my neck, having me at her mercy.

"Wanda," I moaned, hand moving to the back of her neck as I tried to regain some control of the situation, but the longer she sucked at the exposed skin, the more my knees wanted to buckle.

Already lowering my dress to my shoulders, her hand untied the back of it and I flushed at the contact of her fingers against me, not used to the feeling but also not opposed.

"Wanda, are you sure?" I asked between bated breaths, attempting to get her attention by tugging at her dress.

She pulled back, hand rising to my jaw and caressing it with her thumb as she looked between my eyes. Hers were dark, clouded with an arousal I hadn't seen before.

"I am," she said with certainty, before asking, "Are you?"

I swallowed hard, the warmth in my core growing hotter as she stared at me with lustful eyes and swollen lips. "Yes."

She gave me a slight smile before pressing her lips to mine again, allowing me to wrap my arms around her neck. I heard her lock the door behind me as I undid the top of her dress, struggling to do so without breaking contact from her. We moved to the bed clumsily, trying not to stumble over our discarded dresses, before I laid her down and straddled her.

Leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her neck, I felt her fingers grip my waist, keeping ahold of my body on hers. I shivered as her nails scratched gently against the skin and grew warm when she lifted herself up gently to get more comfortable, her clothed centre rubbing against mine.

Taking a breath, I pulled away and hovered over her, revelling in the beauty that was Wanda Maximoff. Her cheeks were dusted pink as she opened her eyes, green eyes sparkling desperately as they flickered between mine.

"I love you," I told her softly, leaning on my elbow and caressing her forehead.

She smiled, nails trailing up my back and sending shivers down my spine. "Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu."

I tried not to laugh as I tilted my head with confusion. She smiled a little wider, hand reaching for the back of my bra.

"I love you, too," she translated in English, hint of amusement in her eyes, before she managed to undo the bra strap.

I rolled my eyes at her attempt of mockery before chasing down her lips once more. Everything about the woman before me was absolute perfection and I was glad I could finally share how I felt about her without having to hide it anymore.

The potential consequences of our actions was not my concern right now... all I cared about was treating her with the respect and care she deserved.

[chellyfishing]

well, i finished the last book i meant to read for the year, and i’ve been wanting to do a lil year in review of all the media from this year, but the main problem is that i don’t log movies/tv anywhere and my memory is uhh?? real bad?? i also definitely didn’t listen to nearly as much new music this year as usual :\\ anyway i figured i’d start with books for now and maybe ponder music/tv/movies/games over the next couple days.

NO i will not include fic even though i definitely did spend like a week recently accidentally reading a 600+k fic for a fandom i’m NOT EVEN IN, i can’t believe i read the whole thing

my storygraph is here

i read fifteen books this year, which makes it my best reading year since 2016, when i inexplicably read 40 in one year?? who is she i gave 5 stars to three of them:

confessions by kanae minato: this is a thriller told from multiple POVs about the supposed accidental death/actual murder of a teacher’s young daughter and the fallout that happens when she reveals she knows the truth. it is hard to root for anyone in this but that’s not really the point. every chapter reframes the original story again and again and again up until the final page so honestly don’t bother making your mind up about anything at any point before then.

the last house on needless street by catriona ward: i feel like explaining almost anything about this book and why i loved it so much would be just one massive spoiler, because its strengths lie in its abilities to subvert. subvert what? kind of... everything? it’s about a man, and his cat, and his daughter. it’s about a woman searching for her missing sister. it’s about illness, and abuse, and a serial killer. trigger warnings abound, especially regarding things happening to children. i don’t really know how to recommend this, except that it’s just Good and i haven’t stopped thinking about it.

you’ve lost a lot of blood by eric larocca: this is the book i just finished. it is very short, you could almost class it as a novella, in fact there is a novella in it? but also other things? i literally just finished it, so i’m still processing, because SO MUCH happens in a very short span of pages. i might reread it quickly because it really does go so fast, you almost don’t have time to breathe. the novella within the novel(la) is told in present-tense, in very short sentences and paragraphs, and you especially fly through those sections. i don’t know at this point if i think the whole thing could have benefitted from being longer or not. i might even change my rating of it later, but i sat for a minute after the last page and felt pretty strongly it was a five-star read so for now i go with my gut. i could feel myself going on a face journey the whole time, from sentence to sentence. it has things to say, in a sort of recursive way, it’s hard to explain. i think what it’s about is art, and also identity. i think i’m going to be thinking about it for awhile.

several other books i read this year probably would have been 5 stars if i was still using goodreads instead of storygraph, like a powerless fool, with the top ones of those being:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid: you all know this book!!!!! i’m late to the party. there is a lot in here that is so beautiful and compelling. there is something about her writing that i also felt in malibu rising (which i also read this year) that keeps things from being a full five stars from me. i don’t think i can really explain it succinctly. but i was still very moved by this book, i cried a lot, and i do intend to read more by her, because her work is very readable.

piranesi by susanna clarke: i think this is a book that i only didn’t love quite as much as other people because i heard how good it was going in and expected something more revolutionary or life-changing instead of just A Very Good Book. like if i didn’t have any expectations i probably would have finished it and gone “wow!” instead of “oh, that was nice.” it’s about a man who doesn’t know much living almost entirely alone in a place that can’t be real, and what happens when both he and outside forces start to peel away at that reality.

all the feels by olivia dade: this is the sequel to spoiler alert, which i also read and loved this year, but slightly less. both of these books are very wonderful funny wish fulfillment romantic comedies about fat women and gorgeous prestige television star men (the show they’re on is like game of thrones but make it greek myth), they were the kind of thing that i just kind of needed to read at the time. what puts this one slightly ahead of its predecessor for me is that most of the conflict comes from the characters not being able to get out of their own way and sort of having to learn how to grow and be better people both for themselves and each other. i also just liked their romantic dynamic a bit more and i think anybody who is familiar with both pairs and also me would be like “yeah that tracks.” there’s a third book in the universe featuring a very minor background couple from the first two coming out soon!! ready for it!!

and the other good to very good things i read:

the ghost bride by yangsze choo (4.5): this book is set in 19th century malaysia and is about colonial chinese families (the author herself being chinese-malaysian). it’s about a woman whose family is Respectable but in a precarious position, and so naturally that means hoping for an Advantageous Marriage. there’s a man she loves, but he’s out of reach, and then his family proposes the idea of her marrying... that man’s dead cousin? which she’s not into (for whatever reason). but then he starts haunting her, and she has to figure out how to get him off her back so she can actually live her damn life. it’s very cute and fun and adventurous and sweet and romantic. it’s also a series on netflix which is somewhat faithful, it changes some things for the better and some things for less so, i enjoyed it though! the dead man, who is a limp weirdo in the book, is kind of a banger character in the series (i mean, still a weirdo, but with killer fashion sense).

the bright spear trilogy by hl macfarlane (all 3.75): these are three books classed as “gothic scottish fairy tales.” in terms of writing they are very light and frothy, kind of romantic drama with a fairy tale backdrop. there’s a bit more plot in the first one but things gradually become more about the relationship drama as things progress. slight spoiler but absolutely approve of the heroine having two handsome suitors and deciding she will keep both. they aren’t amazing books overall but they were fun fast reads and i honestly appreciate them being kind of just lightly poly. the third book is... unexpectedly dark? like trigger warnings for SA among some other things. things never get truly grim but after i read it i was like oh yeah that was kind of a lot wasn’t it, if you think about it. the author has promised a sequel series about the child character born at the end and... yeah. yeah i’m gonna read it.

malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid (4.5): another book in the taylor jenkins reidiverse, about the family of a minor evelyn hugo character. he’s a rock star, he’s got a wife who’s been with him from before he Made It, they’ve got kids who love to surf. the action focuses on the kids, taking place over one night, with flashbacks filling in the stories of their parents, and how actually, their dad kinda sucks. this is a lighter read than evelyn hugo but deals with similar ideas and themes.

penpal by dathan auerbach (4.25): this is kind of a famous no sleep/reddit horror story that was published as a novel. it’s about a man who’s reflecting on his childhood, putting together a lot of seemingly disparate, out-of-order events to form a truly disturbing narrative. the most important thing about this book that you should know is that it’s a bummer. you won’t walk away from this one feeling very good about anything. the pacing is kind of slow as things build over time and then A Lot happens in the last bit and then you just kind of have to live with it.

neverworld wake by marisha pessl (3.5): this was easily the most disappointing book i read this year. it’s about a group of friends who are stuck in purgatory reliving the same day over and over again, and it’s also about their friend who died a year ago and what happened to him. i... don’t really know what to say about this book. it wasn’t bad, obviously. maybe i just don’t get it. i don’t know what it was trying to say. i don’t know what i was supposed to feel. but i wasn’t feeling conflicted in the way i was with something like, say, confessions. it was just kind of like, “...okay? and?”

spoiler alert by olivia dade (4.25): as mentioned above.

autumn of the grimoire by jl vampa (4.0): listen... i read this because it’s arranged marriage. more broadly it’s about four sisters who are like, seasonal witches, and they pass around a grimoire from season to season that gives them tasks passed down by their predecessors. our protagonist is sister autumn and she always gets the absolutely worst most grim and traumatic tasks, and now she’s inexplicably being forced to marry Some Guy. the thing that i liked the least about this book is how it was told from different viewpoints of characters who have different amounts of knowledge but the reader is constantly being kept in the dark for no real reason, like, we weren’t learning with the characters, the characters already knew!! we were just being teased with constant reminders about how there’s More Going On, which is so tedious to me. “had i but known” and related writing tropes are among my least favorites. also, i knew it was going to be het, but there was a teeny tiny part of me that thought maybe the male half of the marriage was already in a relationship with another man and he and his wife were just going to end up bffs and i read like half the book through that lens and it took quite awhile before the book reached a point where i could no longer pretend that made sense. i recommend trying this anyway because if the author is going to repeatedly remind me there are things i don’t know it’s my right as a free american to pretend the thing i don’t know is gay. overall in spite of all that there are some fun characters, and some fun plot twists! i didn’t expect it to end how it did and i’m actually kind of looking forward to reading more in the series when they come out!

i didn’t read any books i hated this year, which was nice!! i think i read more 5 stars last year but i also read some real duds too. the “worst” was just being disappointed by

neverworld wake

.

i started so many others but i don’t consider any of them DNFs becaaaaause i start books all the time and put them down and it has nothing to do with the book and everything to do with the fact that i have a squirrel brain and reading is so so hard. hopefully i’ll finish some of them next year?? i don’t think anything i read this year was an aborted attempt from last year tho sooooo idk. i wish my brain was better but i still consider this a pretty good reading year overall!

[crybabysunflower]

The song which reminds me of Shizuku's struggle as a writer

Yes this is another episode of me putting off my ideas for a long time which makes it a late post.

Whisper of the Heart is by far the Ghibli movie which struck a cord deep within me. Ofcourse most of the Ghibli movies are excellent but this particular one has a special place in my heart for personal reasons, its because as a writer I had related to Shizuku's struggle as a new writer, also especially since just like her, I struggle with extreme self esteem issues when it comes to my abilities. I wont call myself a "new writer" (its been a few years since I got into writing) yet I still go through what she does from time to time.

The song I'd be using to describe her struggles is Slump by Stray Kids, which originally belongs to their 2020 album GO: Easy but here I would be using the english version of the song which I find more apt to describe Shizuku.

Where you going? It's hard to keep up

You're moving so fast, leaving me behind

Give me an hour, that's all I need

It's now or never, I'm running out of time

The seconds are relentless, I'm helpless as they keep flying by

Stuck here in the desert, I feel like I'm in an hourglass

Maybe I can stay and be comfortable living in the past

But I don't wanna be alone so can you take me to you now.

Here the "You" can be referred to the other protagonist of our story Seiji Amasawa, an aspiring violin maker with whom Shizuku constantly compares herself (and berates herself for not being as 'good' as he is). Seiji unlike Shizuku has a more "fixed" goal that is to go to Cremona, Italy to practice his violin making skills which makes Shizuku feel insecure and thus she finds it hard to "keep up" with this boy. After hearing about Seiji going to Italy and would be staying their for two months, Shizuku decides to write her first novel "Whisper of the Heart" within this short period, therefore making her feel uncomfortably stuck as the time keeps fleeting away, this feeling Shizuku is experiencing is expressed from the line "Stuck here in the desert I'm feeling like an hourglass".

The last two lines reminds me of two other aspects of Shizuku, One that is how (as she describes) her life was better in the past (unlike in the present time) when she had an aim but now, she has given up on them and 'aimlessly spends her time' in reading and writing. The last line alludes to her personal feelings of grief from being separated from Seiji as she mentions how she dreamt of going to highschool together with him, and is time to time shown to have been missing him, being reminded of the boy when she looks at the photo of a violin maker in a book and also when she visits his room during his absence.

Too fast, I try to follow but I'm losing hope

We used to walk together down this winding road

But you're so far ahead, it seems impossible to catch up

Because Shizuku wants to be as good as Seiji, she starts following his way of judging her abilities, in this way just like him she started to berate herself for not being good enough and that she has to better than she currently is, however while doing so, her already low self esteem was getting lower thereby making her lose hope and making it harder for her to 'catch up' with Seiji who seems much more far ahead on his way.

And now I'm walking on my way, all alone, I'm feeling so cold

Not getting anywhere, I feel like I'm in slow mode

Used to be a winner, everything was all black and white

Now I'm bottom of the pile, a dusty photo

To add more to her misery, Shizuku was pretty much alone in her way since she, unlike other kids of her age did not want to study further and devote all her time on writing, she already felt that she wasnt getting anywhere (which is repeatedly mentioned by how she has been wasting her time reading fairytales and writing 'corny' lyrics), adding more pressure on her. The last two lines are a reference to her saying how she earlier used to be a good student who scored straight A's and had dreams of her own, but now she sees herself nothing more than a "dusty photo on the bottom of the pile".

I'm afraid I'm gonna be left stranded by myself

All the foolish dreams I had inside of me are broken

Everything I wanted in the distance out of reach

Am I the only one that's gon' stay here forgotten, ayy

Continuing my point from the earlier interpretation, unlike before as Shizuku is growing up, her foolish fairytale like dreams are broken. Now that she had chosen to pursue her art, she is afraid of making a wrong choice since, as her father mentions. she would have no one but herself to blame when she faces the negative consequences of her choices, because the journey of an artist is a difficult one. All of this pressure, doubled with her self loathing tendencies made her think her goals are out of reach which is expressed throughout the movie very much including the part where she mentions her future being 'doomed'.

So many thoughts are inside of my head

I'm always drying these tears on my face

How could I ever get used to the fact that

The songs and the lyrics, they all sound the same

"Come on, I know you can do it"

I have to repeat it again and again, yeah

I wanna look in the mirror

Telling myself that I did a good job, ayy

Everyone gonna be watching

I gotta show 'em all of me

But I've been insecure lately

'Cause I don't know what they want from me, ayy

Feeling so nervous, I wanna go forward

But everyone else overtaking me

Blocking my vision, my body is shaking

I don't know if I can keep up, yeah, yeah

As mentioned earlier, Shizuku is dealing with low self esteem issues arising from her tendency to hold herself and Seiji to a high standard, and now the pressure of not accidentally making wrong choices (which is symbolically depicted through a nightmare where she picks up a shiny tile which soons transforms into a dead chick). This verse is also a reference to how she berates her writing skills, she thinks as mentioned earlier, her writing is corny and her story goes 'all over the place'. She also desires her works to be honestly validated which is depicted through how she was in a hurry to hear what Mr Nishi had to say about her work (as she also tells him that he could choose to only read a few pages), which Mr Nishi gives, along with the much needed encouragement to keep her moving forward.

This verse also alludes to another reason why Shizuku holds herself in such a high level of attainment, i.e. in her school she is a popular girl who is well praised by everyone for her writings. The concluding lines expresses how Shizuku wants to keep moving forward despite her cripping self esteem and hoplessness taking over her from time to time

[heyitssmiller]

Bewitched, Body and Soul

So... this happened. Blame the Discord. Basically, the premise is receiving a note from a stranger about having similar tastes in books, and my first thought was Finn/Leo. And now, around 24 hours later, this showed up in my word document. Hope y’all like it!! And don’t worry, I’ve already got a sequel planned with Logan ;)

All characters, of course, belong to the wonderful @lumosinlove

And, if you’re so inclined, check out my Masterlist if you enjoy this story! <3

CW: food/drink

.

Leo loved this bookstore. There was a west-facing windowfront that allowed all sorts of afternoon light to shine through, creating a large, warm sunspot right in Leo’s favorite armchair. The shelves were always neatly organized by category, there was a featured book of the week, and there was a coffee shop sequestered to one corner of the building. What else did he need in life? He’d spent countless hours here, sitting with a new book and a cup of coffee or tea and getting lost in whatever world he’d been transported to within the crisp pages and black ink. Being new to the city, there were probably better ways to make friends, but there was something so soothing, so comfortingly familiar about shutting off the worry in his mind and just focusing on the story unfolding in his hands.

But when his stomach growled loudly in protest, he figured he needed to put reading on hold.

There was a wrinkled, jagged-edged scrap of paper sitting on top of Leo’s book when he returned to his table, café pastry in hand. It hadn’t been there a second ago. Curiously, Leo set his food down and inspected the foreign paper. Messy, inelegant scrawl slanted across the page in deep blue ink. The lines were uneven and chaotic; the i’s weren’t even dotted, almost as if it took too much effort to go back and add them in. Leo found it strangely endearing. It read:

           Hi!

           I don’t think we’ve met, but based on your choice of literature I think we would make great friends. :)

-        Carrot Top

Leo smiled, read it again, and looked around for the person who sent it but no one acknowledged him, seemingly lost in stories of their own. So he sat there, a smile still on his face as he got back to his book, using the note as a bookmark.

~~~

Finn couldn’t help himself when, a few days later, he left another note after seeing the guy with good taste in books again at the bookstore. He was at what must have been his usual table, seemingly right where Finn had left him. The only difference besides the clothes he was wearing was the book he was reading. Finn let himself linger on his profile, just for a second – the gentle slope of his nose, the way his curls rested against his forehead, how bright blue eyes scanned the pages below him.

Finn wasn’t one for love at first sight; that was for romance novels only. But instant attraction? Oh yeah. He was definitely there.

He picked up a small flyer from the front desk, flipped it over, and began to write.

And maybe it wasn’t a good way of, as the kids said these days, “shooting his shot”. But it was a start. And it was fun – the thrill of trying not to get caught, the anonymity. Sure, one day he’d maybe get up the courage to talk to him in person, but he was happy with this for now.

           Hmm… haven’t read that one. Might have to get myself a copy!

-        The Walking Freckle

After dropping the note off while the blond walked off to take a phone call, Finn tried to act casual as he stared sightlessly down at his own book instead of over at the cute stranger like he desperately wanted to.

Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious…

If he was being completely honest, he didn’t really know where to go from here. Did the blond think the notes were creepy? Or weird? He never seemed to mind much, but… well, a stranger was repeatedly leaving notes for him. What if it was making him uncomfortable? Would it make things better or worse if Finn introduced himself?

A snort came out, unbidden. Yeah. Right. That would go well. Finn could practically see it now: he would be clumsy and awkward, probably spilling coffee all over the guy’s book or – even worse – all over him. He’d scare him off for sure.

But at the same time, Finn wanted nothing more than to meet him. To sit down across the table from him and debate the points of the book he was reading, or give book recommendations, or just talk. About literally anything. Finn wasn’t a picky guy. He could sit there and let him speak for hours, absorbing any and all knowledge about him like a sponge. Did the corners of those bright, blue eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiled? Did his cheeks get all flushed when he was passionate about something, just like Finn’s? What was the story behind the soft-looking tuft of gray hair at his temple?

Who was he?

Finn was overflowing with questions, and desperate for the answers.

But he needed to go about this the right way, didn’t he? The last thing he wanted to do was screw this up. So he closed his book, propped his chin in his hand so that he could stare out the window, and started to plan.

~~~

The next note threw Leo for a bit of a loop. He’d saved his table with his coat thrown over one of the chairs and went up to the New Books section, surreptitiously keeping an eye on his table and hoping that he’d catch his note-sender red-handed.

Leo could’ve sworn that he’d looked away for half a second, but – well, he got distracted by a book, so it easily could’ve been five minutes for all he knew. This note was written on one of the café napkins, the ink bleeding through in some spots and a few small tears in the delicate material.

Nice choice! That book absolutely shattered my heart and then pieced it back together. The way she writes love lost just hurts so beautifully, doesn’t it?

I like your sweater by the way.

Fuck I hope that’s not creepy.

I’m not a stalker, I promise. I just think you’re really cute. And you have amazing taste in books. I’d like to learn more, if you’d let me. :)

But first, you have to figure out who I am! Good luck!

-        Your Not-So-Secret Admirer in the Tortoiseshell Glasses

He smiled, wide and happy, and looked around for tortoiseshell glasses, red hair, and freckles. Those were the only three clues he had so far. So he quickly scanned the crowded café, looking for anyone who fit the description. The only one even close was a freckled, redheaded guy at the corner table, but no glasses.

That was a shame, too. He was stunning.

The mystery bibliophile must already be gone, then. Or hiding.

Looked like Leo had his work cut out for him. He did always like a challenge.

~~~

It probably wasn’t Finn’s best idea to take his glasses off. He couldn’t see a damn thing and was left squinting down at his book, trying to determine if what he was seeing was an F or a P.

That smile, though… he could’ve seen that dimpled smile from all the way across the street.

He never thought he’d be pining for a stranger like this, but then again – he wasn’t a complete stranger, was he? After all, you could learn a lot about a person by their book preferences. Finn wasn’t normally known for being a good judge of character – he was too optimistic, too unwilling to see the bad in people. But damn, did he hope he was right about this one.

~~~

Finn had probably been too bold with the note he’d just dropped off, but when he’d seen what book that his new maybe-friend was reading, he knew he couldn’t just pass up an opportunity like that.

He didn’t wait to see the reaction this time – he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He just left the short note on top of the book while the blond was at the café counter and booked it (pun definitely intended) out of there as fast as he could.

           You have bewitched me, body and soul. <3

-        Bambi

~~~

He should’ve waited. Leo’s reaction, all bashful smile and bright red face and pleased expression, would’ve been worth it.

~~~

Leo went back to the bookstore pretty much every day after that, intent on finding this person. Not only was this a fun little game they were playing, but it would be nice to finally have a friend in the city. He still didn’t know anyone besides his coworkers and… well, he was a little lonely. A friend would be nice, especially one who had a shared interest in books.

The only thing left to do was to find them.

Red hair, freckles, glasses, and big doe eyes.

Leo looked for the only four defining traits he had, methodically starting in the front of the store and weaving through isle after isle of bookshelves. When that proved unsuccessful he moved on to the café, gaze landing on the queue first before lurching to a stop at the glimpse of a shock of auburn hair in the far corner booth. Heart hammering in his chest, Leo used his height to his full advantage and peered over the line of people.

Freckles, Glasses, Big, doe eyes.

If he needed any more confirmation, the stranger – the very cute stranger – was reading the same book Leo had been reading a week ago. The one his anonymous friend said they hadn’t read yet.

It had to be him.

Leo didn’t let himself think about it too much – he knew he’d panic if he did. He just strode over and sat down across from him, setting his book down on the table with a quiet thud. The note-writer jumped a little, then lifted wide brown eyes to look up at him.

Oh, but he was gorgeous.

“So what part are you at?” Leo asked, eyes taking in everything they could now that he was close enough – that messy red hair that just barely curled at the ends, the hint of scruff on his jaw, brown eyes shifting from shade to shade in the afternoon light filtering through the window beside him. Soft, mesmerizing lips curved into the beginnings of a smile that Leo couldn’t help but be transfixed by. “Have you gotten to the part where Patroclus dies?”

Finn stared back, trying to look horrified but he knew he was smiling so much that they counteracted each other because, finally, he’d figured it out. “I can’t believe you’d break rule number one of having a reading buddy: don’t spoil the ending.”

Dimples.

“Oops.”

Finn was done for.

“I’m Finn,” he managed to stammer, aiming for his best smile and probably looking like he’d just tasted something awful instead.

“Leo,” his companion said with a warm smile. Then he frowned. “Wait, no. Go back. You can’t spoil the ending of a story that’s literally thousands of years old.” The blond leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee and watching in amusement as Finn gaped at him in horror. He could feel his cheeks and ears getting red, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“That’s so not the point!”

Leo laughed, then motioned for Finn to state his case. And then Finn was off, forgetting all about his nervousness and tendency to be awkward. He ranted about that topic for… well, he didn’t really know how long, but it was a while. Leo didn’t even bat an eye, keeping pace well and interjecting with his own points calmly and collectedly – the gentle breeze to Finn’s tornado. He was smiling, too, even though sometimes he tried to hide it behind the rim of his coffee cup. And he was smart, Finn learned as they jumped from one topic to the next and the minutes ticked by. He knew a lot about literature, like Finn, but he could also make these random connections to all kinds of different topics that Finn would’ve never thought of, all while keeping up with Finn’s fast-paced brain and tendency to jump down rabbit holes.

It was an instant connection, the likes of which Finn had never experienced before. It was intoxicating. Finn felt like he could never get enough.

During a lull in between one conversation and the next, Leo pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it over, looking suddenly and inexplicably shy. Finn cocked his head confusedly, then unfolded the paper and looked down.

           Would you like to go on a date sometime?

PS: I’m free tonight if you are. :)

-        The Guy Who’s Been Crushing on You for Weeks

Finn’s heart threatened to burst. “Absolutely.” He hesitated, just for a second, then decided to go for it. “Are you free now? I know a pretty great café nearby.” With a wiggle of his eyebrows, he jerked his thumb at the bookstore café and earned a laugh. He wondered what he could do to earn another.

“Sounds perfect.”

They walked over to the counter together, the backs of their hands just barely brushing – it was still enough to make Finn hyperaware of every miniscule movement and get his pulse hammering. Leo was teasing Finn for his terrible eyesight in a soft, southern drawl – something Finn definitely wasn’t expecting but sure as hell wasn’t complaining about, his fingers deliberately playing with Finn’s now, and Finn knew it was going to be a good night. It was already a good night; how could it possibly get any better?

“What can I get for you?”

Leo and Finn looked up at the barista and their eyes widened in tandem as they took in thick chestnut waves, long, dark lashes, and bottle-green eyes. He wasn’t smiling, not necessarily. His expression was fairly neutral, all things considered – except for those eyes. If you stared at then long enough, you could see just the faintest whisper of amusement.

They both looked down slightly, searching for a nametag. There, in bold black letters, read:

Logan.

[willowbird]

Fuck it here's the pitch

Andrew and Aaron both went into foster care.

When they were adopted by Bee at around 12ish they met the neighbor girl Katelyn and the three of them become inseparable.

Aaron has pretty much always been in love with her. Andrew rolls his eyes at it at this point. Katelyn is oblivious.

Fast forward to the summer before college or maybe before senior year, idk just like... late teens. Let's put it this way: everyone can drive.

New guy moves in 2 houses down and he is HOT. Like dangerous hot. He's short but look, they are all short so if anything that makes him even more attractive. There's this dark sexy mystery about him and he's got these eyes and every now and again when he's feeding the stray cats (which have suddenly multiplied since Neighbor Guy started bribing them) he gets this smile and, well, Katelyn is infatuated.

She convinces the twins to help her get his attention. Aaron agrees because he can't say no to Katelyn and he wants her to be happy and he's convinced himself that if they haven't happened yet it just isn't going to happen.

Andrew agrees because he thinks it will be fucking hilarious. (Also because he agrees that Neighbor Guy is super hot and wouldn't mind seeing more of him.)

They manufacture many meet-cutes. Literally right out of romance novels. Like they actually have brainstorming pizza party sleepovers where the three of them compare notes and recommend strategies from their favorite books (all three read romance books honestly they probably have a book club and every month they read a new release and either swoon at it or rip it to shreads they have read every kind of romance book out there and they are RUTHLESS).

They find out Neighbor Guy is "Neil" and he lives with his uncle.

Every meet cute goes horribly awry but after each one Neil and Andrew chat. They get along well.

Very well

Andrew and Aaron and Katelyn are also in a fun little garage band. Picture this as a montage my friends.

After several failed meet-cutes Katelyn finally gets Neil's full attention when she falls off a car trying to sexy-wash it (this was Andrew's idea, not because he thought it would work but because he thought it would be a hilarious failure ~ most of Andrew's suggestions are along these lines)

Neil helps her up and she mentions the band and he agrees to come by and listen to them play.

Omg they ALL get to see Neil smiling as he listens. He likes it he likes it!!

Katelyn finally works up the nerve to give Neil her number, to express her interest.

As she does so.. Neil walks right past her, bit of a warm smirk on his face as he hands his number to Andrew.

"Thought you didn't have a phone."

"I didn't."

"Didn't?"

"Hey, so - I just met you and this is crazy. But Ive got a phone now so.. call me?"

Katelyn and Aaron are just like *stunned Pikachu*

Andrew takes the number, memorizes it, his ears bright pink, and shrugs.

"Maybe."

[yellowocaballero]

⭐⭐⭐ Redacted POV roleswap or something from the Reel to reel/less than zero-verse

Okay, I genuinely have such a big rant attached to this story that I went back and looked to make sure that I hadn't already given the rant. Because it would be pretty obnoxious to give it twice. But a lot of my fics are lowkey spite fics, and this fic was DIRECTLY written because someone told me a lot of Harrow the Ninth was in second person and I started foaming at the mouth with rage. I'm very sorry but this is going to get long because I found an opportunity to bitch and I fucking took it.

Spoilers for [Redacted] POV Roleswap!

You look down at your helmet, and you see that you’re gripping it tightly in both hands. It stares back up at you, like a vapid and grinning corpse.

“Thirty’s helmet,” you say. “Thirty’s helmet.”

The corpse of a helmet stares up at you, eyes black as pits.

“Nah. Fuck that.”

You step away from the window and drop the helmet on the ground, letting it sag and roll across the floor. It joins dozens of its brethren, coming to a soft stop when it clinks against another discarded Stormtrooper helmet. When you look across the hallway, it almost looks like a weird-ass graveyard. One with nothing buried, and nothing lost.

“This place is demented,” Thirty said. “I am so out of here.”

I fucking hate second person.

First person is fine. I can't WRITE it - I tried, I'm incapable - but literally nothing wrong with it. First person tells a specific sort of story. Third person limited is the most neutral, simple POV. It does not tell a specific sort of story, it just tells a story. First and second person are unobtrusive, easy to read, and natural for the reader.

Second person fucking sucks. It's so obtrusive. It's difficult to read. You are constantly forced to slow down, stop, and figure out the mental image. It feels weird and it takes a while for the reader to get used to it. The narration, like, takes up space. It's a rock in the story. The story's jumping up and down and pointing to it - look at me!

Second person is a stylization. It is a style. And whenever you stylize something, especially something that makes reading actively more difficult and a worse experience, you need to have a really, really, really good reason. It's difficult to read, so it needs to be short. You can't have a whole book in second person unless you're a good enough writer that you're too smart to write an entire book in second person.

People also primarily pair second person with present tense. Everything I said up there applies to present tense, although to a lesser degree - it's less annoying and present tense is more common in YA, where it's used fairly neutrally. If you're not writing YA then it definitely comes off as a specific choice, which is hopefully made for a reason.

If you're very purposeful about it, second person can be done extremely well. One of my favorite novels, Warchild by Karin Lowachee, uses second person in the first 40 pages to make the super bad shit that happens feel visceral and intense and depersonalize the MC. But you can't hold an entire book like that, and second person present tense is so obtrusive that I really couldn't see how you could use it in a way that was good enough to justify using it.

Anyway, got super pissed about this and then left to go write a second person present tense story that fucked extremely.

I couldn't believe it. I had no idea that you could use narration to tell a story. Use narration and tense to create a character arc! Have the form of the story be the growth of the story! Use the person and the tense to make the events feel visceral, fast-moving, confusing, scary, gory, overwhelming! There is almost no room for internal narration or rumination! I'm always struggling to write a pared down, simplistic viewpoint, and this was the first time I ever actually got it - because the narration and tense tells us everything our poor narrator is feeling and experiencing. You just feel buffeted and tossed about, just by virtue of it being present tense.

The narrator is you. Everything is happening fast to the narrator, too fast to process. You're nothing, static, and then suddenly you're part of a faceless mass of people. You're part of a group. You still don't know what's going on. The group is scary. You're scared.

And then you realize that you're different. You aren't me. I'm me! Look at me, I have a face and a body and a past and a soul. I'm Thirty. You aren't Thirty, I'm Thirty, and royally fuck you about it.

The big Thing about this part of the story is clones rediscovering their sense of self. And the big Thing about Thirty was that he found his sense of self like two weeks ago and he's still very confused about it. And to have that discovery of a self be shown through forcibly ejecting the reader from the eyes of the POV character is SO much fun.

It was a fantastic experience to write. I did not change my mind about second person and/or present tense at all. It's very stylized, it's very obtrusive, and when you use it then it has to be in a very purposeful way. But if you do manage to, like, hit that, then it can FUCK EXTREMELY?

Anyway I'm the only person allowed to write second person present tense now. Thanks!

[thatshithurted8]

Marigold (2)

Summary: Getting to know JJ Maybank is something you hoped for, but a jealous Rafe makes it his mission to put a stop to your developing feelings.

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Platonic Rafe, JJ Maybank x Introverted!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k (I went off I guess)

Marigold Masterlist

Currently you sat in the passenger seat of Sarah Cameron’s car as she drove through figure 8 and into the cut. The blonde girl beside you kept going on about some guy named John B and how much she likes him. As you listened you couldn’t help, but wonder what you guys were doing in the cut. You had nothing against anyone or anything in the lower class part of town, but every time you’ve hung out with the Cameron siblings you’ve never seen any of them step foot into the cut willingly.

Sarah invited you to have a sleep over for the weekend and you were going to politely decline considering you weren’t close with her and socializing with people you don’t know well was draining, but your parents caught wind of the invitation and made you go. However, little did you know it wasn’t Sarah’s idea to invite you. Yes, she wished you two were closer, but JJ was the one that ultimately came up with the idea. 

A few days after Midsummers the blonde boy brought up you and how you still haven’t contacted him yet. That was when Kie mentioned how JJ said that you and Rafe seemed to know each other so Sarah must know you as well. Sarah wasn’t surprised when JJ asked her about you. You were a beautiful girl after all, but you barely even spoke, how’d he manage to have a conversation with you? 

Seeing how smitten JJ was for you warmed Sarah’s heart and of course she obliged by inviting you to visit for the upcoming weekend. And when you agreed JJ asked Sarah hundreds of questions about you and what you were like. 

About ten minutes later of Sarah continuing to talk about John B you notice the blonde become quiet while driving down a dirt road before ending up outside of a shack like house. 

“We’re here.” She says turning off the car and smiling over at you. You simply respond back with a smile and follow Sarah out of the car, making sure you grabbed your bag and then walk into the chateau. 

As soon as you stepped foot into the chateau your whole energy changed. You just got comfortable with being alone with Sarah, a girl you’ve known basically your whole life and now you were greeted with a room of fellow teenagers. You could feel yourself retreating back into your shell even though you didn’t want to. 

“Hey I’m Kiara, but you can call me Kie.” A familiar girl says standing up and walking over to you as Sarah passes her to greet another familiar boy which you assumed was the infamous John B. 

“Hi I’m Y/N.” You say timidly before following Kiara over to the couch and sitting down. You felt extremely awkward as you weren’t in your typical surroundings so you didn’t even notice how rigid and uncomfortable you looked sitting pin straight on the couch beside the brown haired girl. 

“That’s Pope.” Kiara says pointing over to the boy leaning against the kitchen counter that was eating cereal. He nods over in your direction, acknowledging you and you smile back. 

“And that’s John B.” She says pointing to the boy holding Sarah in his arms. You simply nod, making a mental note to remember everyone’s names. Just as Kie opens her mouth to talk about the pogue that was missing your direction is turned to the hallway when you hear heavy boots make their way down it. 

“Hey, John B I think I clogged your toilet agai-” JJ says, but instantly stops when he sees you sitting on the couch beside Kie. His cheeks turn a shade of red at his embarrassing statement, but you try your best to bite your tongue to stop yourself from laughing. After seeing JJ you were finally able to connect the dots as to why everyone in the chateau looked so familiar. 

“Hey Marigold.” JJ says, regaining his confidence when he sees how flustered you got at the nickname. 

“Hi.” You softly say back with heated cheeks. 

As the room full of teens becomes engulfed in conversation you don’t notice JJ practically begging Kiara to move from where he stood leaning against a door frame. Finally giving in Kie rolls her eyes and gets up, joining Pope on the floor. Without a moment to spare JJ quickly walks over to the now free spot beside you and plops himself down. 

When he does this you can feel your heart beat increase and nerves started to wash over you. You were worried that he was going to ask you why you didn’t text or call him and he did exactly that. 

“You know I’ve been sitting beside my phone for the last week waiting for a call or text from this really pretty girl that I gave my number to.” JJ says for only you to hear. 

Still sitting up straight you look over at the boy beside you who was sitting comfortably against the couch. His gaze on you was intense and felt hot. You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with him as he made you too nervous. 

“I-I wanted to text you, but I lost the napkin.” You softly say telling the truth. When you were chasing after Rafe who was chasing after JJ you dropped the napkin JJ gave you and didn’t notice until it was too late. 

“Well I can give you my number again, but this time I’ll write it down in your phone so you don’t lose it.” JJ says winking at you when you finally make eye contact, but you instantly look away blushing when he does so. 

Looking up at the teens in front of you who were laughing at something Pope just said you pull your phone out of your shorts pocket and unlock it before handing it over to JJ. 

JJ watches you as you do this and he truly enjoyed how flustered you got because of him. As cliche as it sounded though when both of your hands touched when exchanging your phone he could’ve sworn he felt electricity. 

For the first time since you got to the Chateau you looked at JJ and admired him without being too scared or nervous to do so. The blue eyed boy typed his name into your phone and then his number and then decided to put a emoji beside his name. As you watch him search for the perfect emoji to use you can’t stop yourself from starring at his large hands and ring clad fingers. He really couldn’t get anymore perfect could he?

It didn’t take long for JJ to find the emoji of his choice which ultimately was a flower that resembled the marigold flowers that were in your hair when you two first met. Satisfied with his choice JJ hands his phone back over to you and admires your frame while you put it back into your pocket.

-

To both yours and Sarah’s surprise after a few hours of hanging out with the pogues you started to open up and leave your shell. You found it extremely easy to talk and open up to the blonde haired and blue eyed boy that remained by your side your whole visit the day before. You’ve never opened up to someone this fast and you started to realize that there was nothing to be anxious or worried about when it came to JJ and the pogues.

It was now day two into your weekend sleep over at the Cameron household and you were actually quite glad your parents made you go. Currently you were laying down in the hammock while JJ and Pope tried to start a fire.

Sarah and John B left to find more fire wood which was taking them quite awhile, but you didn’t mind. You were too busy admiring JJ who was crouched down trying to get the wood to ignite with his silver lighter. 

Just as the two boys finally get the fire started Kiara opens the chateau’s door and comes outside. “Hey Y/N can you help me with the smores stuff?” 

Shifting your attention from JJ who’s face was now illuminated by the fire to Kiara, you nod your head and get up. Without realizing, as you walk over to the wavy haired girl JJ’s head follows every step you take, admiring how adorable you looked in one of his sweatshirts. 

“Is JJ Maybank debating on settling down?” Pope jokes once you were out of ear shot. 

“If I do that means the only two people that won’t be dating are you and Kie.” The blonde responds back with a wink, instantly wiping Pope’s smug smirk off of his face. 

The truth is that JJ didn’t date. Everyone knew that even tourons that return every summer, but when JJ first saw you it was like a scene straight out of a disney movie. Although you guys haven’t known each other for long JJ somehow knew deep down in his heart that you were going to be very important in his life. He just knew. 

“So Y/N are you warming up to us?” Kie asks, letting the door close behind them as they walk inside the dimly lit chateau. 

“Yes, I hope we can hang out more this summer.” You say truthfully. 

Over the last 48 hours you have grown close to the small group of teens, even Sarah, a girl you’ve barely made a connection with before. It was like the pogues brought something out of you which made you feel carefree and to let your wall of shyness down. Of course you were still shy, but you could feel yourself leaving your shell more and more just with every conversation you had with them. 

“I do too. And I know JJ does too.” 

“What do you mean?” You ask while Kiara opens the fridge and grabs a few cans of beers. 

She turns and looks at you funny before looking through the fridge again to find the chocolate, after all John B didn’t have air conditioning and it wouldn’t be useful if it melted. “You don’t see the way he looks at you?” 

“No?” You ask. She was acting as if JJ looked at you 24/7 and with the same love and desire as Stanley did with Rosalie, the main protagonists in your newest romance novel. 

Kie scoffs and closes the fridge, not believing anything you said. She was honestly dumbfounded on how you didn’t see the way JJ looked at you. It was so obvious that JJ liked you. 

“Oh come on girl he looks at you the way John B looks at Sarah.” The brown eyed girl says bringing a finger up to her mouth and pretending to gag, causing you to laugh. “It’s so obvious that JJ likes you that even a blind man can see that.” 

Kie always respected the pogue rule where you don’t tell anyone each other’s business, but from her experience when JJ had a crush on a girl, which was rare he never made a move despite being the playboy of the island. 

You blush at Kie’s kind words and look down at your feet. “JJ told me how they left you and Sarah on Pope’s dads boat.” You say giggling, while trying to change the topic at the same time. 

“Sarah and I have to get them back for that still. You and JJ should pretend to hate each other so we can do something similar.” She says grabbing the smores ingredients while wiggling her eyebrows at you. 

You simply laugh and grab the cold beers off of the counter. “I wouldn’t mind that.” You say truthfully causing Kie to hype you up as you two walked out of the chateau and down the porch steps. 

By the time you guys got back Sarah and John B were also back and were sitting side by side in lawn chairs. Pope was also sitting down, leaving one lawn chair left and the hammock, but Kiara quickly sets everything down away from the fire before plopping down in the last chair. JJ remained standing, looking down at the fire like a proud father who just witnessed their child take their first steps. 

As you hand the beer around, giving one to everyone except for Sarah as she was driving JJ looks up and his heart beat increases once he realizes he’s in your vicinity again. 

“Here you go.” You softly say, handing the last can of cold beer to the blonde while the rest of the group were engulfed in a conversation about what was the best surfboard wax. 

“Thank you.” He responds back with the same tone of voice before nodding over to the hammock. You nod your head and follow the blue eyed boy over to the white and navy blue fabric hanging between two trees. 

JJ holds it while you get on, making sure you don’t flip or fall off. Once you were on he hands his unopened beer to you and joins you, moving around a bit at first before finally getting comfortable. 

If your friends at home heard that you made five new friends over the weekend and cuddled with one, and that one being a boy they wouldn’t believe you even if you had picture proof. It wasn’t like you to make connections with guys and when you did you usually got heartbroken from having too high standards from your novels. But as the minutes and hours went by you realized you liked who you were when you were around the pogues and Sarah. After having a taste of letting go you were dreading going back home. 

JJ opens his beer and takes a big gulp before wrapping his arm around you as you two spooned. Because you were so introverted and shy you’ve never been this close to a guy physically other than Rafe, but this was different. With Rafe he was a brother to you, but with JJ you felt something and you can only describe it the way your favourite authors do when their characters begin to like each other. 

“Do you want some?” JJ asks lifting up the can closer to your face. 

You shake your head, “No I’m okay. Thank you though” You say nestling your head into JJ’s chest. 

As you do this you can hear his heart beat and how fast it was beating. Maybe Kie was right? But wasn’t it way too soon for that? After all you’ve only known of each other for a week, and two of those days you’ve actually gotten to know each other. 

JJ’s thoughts of how content and happy he was in that moment were interrupted when John B throws a marshmallow at the blonde. “We’ve been playing truth or dare it’s your turn.” 

“Oh uh truth.” He says, picking the choice he didn’t pick often. JJ loved doing dares, but he didn’t want to get up and leave the position he was in. 

“What’s your love language?” Kie asks wiggling her eyebrows at JJ like she did to you earlier. Considering JJ, Pope, Kie and John B have been friends for so long they knew practically everything about each other, but they wanted you to know the answer for the future they hoped you two had. 

“What the hell is that?” JJ asks confused, never hearing of the concept before.

“How you express your love.” You say softly turning to look up at him. 

He looks down at you and smiles while a blush covers his face, but luckily the darkness of the night prevented you from seeing your effects on him. “Uhh I guess I express my love by doing things for people I care about no matter the risk.” He says shrugging his shoulders and pulling you closer to him. 

Content with his answer JJ asks John B truth or dare and the brunette responds back with dare. 

“I dare you to stuff as many marshmallows in your mouth as you can then french kiss Sarah.” 

“No way in hell.” Sarah says shooting a disgusted look at JJ causing everyone to laugh. 

“Oh come on I think it would be hot!” John B exclaims intertwining his hands with his girlfriends. 

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and I’m gonna make a smore.” She says rolling her eyes playfully while getting up to make her treat. Pope and Kie follow suit, but Kie sits back down when Pope says he will make her one. 

“Do you want one?” JJ asks looking down at you in his arms. 

“I’m okay.” You softly say as a yawn takes over your face before your roll over so you were facing JJ. You snuggle into the blondes chest once again and let your eyes flutter closed. It was understandable why you were tired, after all you were socializing all day while being out in the hot sun and JJ taught you how to surf when you all went to the beach. 

JJ brings the can of beer to his lips and gulps down the rest of it’s contents before throwing it at Pope’s butt and wrapping his arms around you. Even though you two were the farthest away from the fire JJ felt warm and fuzzy, a feeling he hasn’t felt before. 

- 

Rolling over you check the time on the analogue clock beside the guest bed you were sleeping in. 3:27am. 

You look around the dark room in the Cameron household, searching for your glass of water, but you couldn’t find it. With an annoyed groan you kick the blankets off of you and step out of bed, realizing you didn’t bring one with you. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but you were supposed to wake up early with Sarah to meet the pogues at The Wreck for breakfast before you went home. 

As you tiptoe down the winding staircase and into the kitchen you secretly hope that Rafe was sound asleep in bed like everyone else in his family. You loved Rafe, but you were still quite upset at him for what he pulled at Midsummers and on top of that you didn’t want him to find out you were hanging out with the boy he was ganging up on at Midsummers. So avoiding the oldest Cameron sibling was your plan until you felt like there was no longer any tension. 

Quietly you open a cabinet and reach inside for a glass. You didn’t bother to turn on the light since the moon was shinning in through the windows. Just as you bring the glass to the large stainless steal fridge the kitchen light turns on, causing you to jump and almost drop the glass in your hands. 

“What the hell Rafe?” You ask, slightly laughing with the glass close to your chest while you slow down your frightened breaths. 

“So you have been hanging out with my sister and the pogues?” He says getting straight to the point while leaning over the island with crossed arms. 

“Yea.” You simply say, turning back to the fridge to get your water. 

“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me?” 

You raise your eyebrows while taking a sip of your cold water. “No, I’m still upset about what happened at Midsummers.” You say truthfully. 

Rafe scoffs and pushes himself off of the cold marble before walking around the island to stand closer to you. “Is that what they told you to say? I bet they also told you how much of a dick I am. Especially that Maybank kid, he is a sly motherfucker.” 

“If you’re going to talk shit about my friends I’m going to go to bed. I have to get up early to see them before I leave anyways.” You say drinking the last bit of water then putting the glass in the sink before walking past the brunette. 

“Y/N wait.” He says grabbing a hold of your wrist and softly pulls you towards him. 

“I need to tell you something?” 

You look up at the boy in front of you expectantly, you could feel the bags growing under your eyes and you just wanted to go back to bed. 

“My dad and I have been trying to tell Sarah this for a while. Those pogues aren’t good people. First John B stole our scuba diving equipment and sold it for quick cash.” Rafe lies, causing you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion. The John B you know wouldn’t do that. 

“They’re all bad, but JJ is the worst. You know my friend Topper?” He asks keeping eye contact with you. 

You nod your head still confused as to what Rafe was getting at. “Well, JJ pulled a gun to his head.” 

You simply snort at Rafe’s statement while rolling your eyes playfully. “You don’t believe me?” He asks pulling his phone out of his pocket before pulling up a video. 

Intrigued you look over at the screen as he turns it for you to see and your curiosity turned into horror as you watch John B and Topper wrestle around in the sand and water. Clearly there was a party that went wrong and someone took a video of the fight instead of helping out the boy that was currently being drowned. 

Suddenly you see a mop of blonde hair rush over to the two boys and a black object is pointed against Toppers head. ‘Yea you know what that is!’ JJ yells in the video before party goers start to scream and yell because the Maybank boy raises the gun into the air, firing multiple shots. 

The video ends and Rafe puts his phone back into his pocket. You look over at him confused, shocked and at a lack of words. Some may argue that you couldn’t tell that was JJ in the video and that’s probably why the police didn’t do anything, but you knew it was him. You recognized his hair and voice and he was even wearing the same shirt yesterday after you guys went surfing. 

“And that’s not the only thing Y/N.” He says with a sad sigh even though he knew his plan was working. 

“What?” You ask even more worried while your heart seemed to beat a mile a minute. 

“JJ made a bet with John B to see how many girls he can sleep with over the summer. And I’m afraid Y/N that you’re just a quick fuck to raise his score.”

- 

“Hey guys.” Sarah says with a bright smile, getting into the van after coming out of her house. “You guys ready for breakfast?” She asks looking around at her friends in the back seat. 

JJ instantly ignores the blondes question and looks out the window at her large house. “Where’s Y/N?” He asks, hoping that you were just going to the washroom quickly or something. 

Sarah’s excited smile for breakfast quickly turns into a scowl. “I don’t know she was gone when I woke up. I think my dad said Rafe was driving her home?”

@write-from-the-heart @collecting-stories-main @mk15x @joshy-obx