#it bugs me okay.
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jeanmoreaux · 2 years ago
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*appears next to you unprompted* OH and one more thing. they really did not have to strip wylan of his cleverness & cunning. actually, my son would have had jesper gladly reciting all the information on that passport before the man could have even entertain the slightest inkling of wylan’s dyslexia. 
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axoqiii · 3 months ago
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pony thieves 💥💥
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au notes ⬇️
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aardvaark · 10 days ago
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i don’t mind suspending my disbelief for leverage’s person-sized ventilation shafts bc that’s pretty standard for the genre, but that doesn’t mean i won’t laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.
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that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. that’s just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goers’ children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harry’s vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.
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crunchchute · 8 months ago
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My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!
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coulrology · 1 month ago
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OH MEIN GOTT DAS STAR BELLY SNEETCH IST CUNTENSERVEN
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benevolenterrancy · 1 month ago
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Mobei-Jun getting abandoned in the human realm by his favourite uncle and being left alone and terrified?? baby???? gonna lie awake thinking about him and Shang Qinghua meeting as children
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warning-heckboop · 2 months ago
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This is the dynamic I want out of season 2 actually
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omaano · 4 months ago
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♥ Trans Rex My Beloved ♥
I'm late with this for sooo many reasons, and I was meaning to finish him for @clonefandomevents' Trans Clone Week.... but I've still made better time with this one than with Cody at least ^^;
Belongs to a small collection with Ace!Wolffe from last June
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patchxwork · 6 months ago
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big fan of giving characters unnecessarily big hair antennas
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b4kuch1n · 1 year ago
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polymer broadcast signal hijack
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sittinginsunflowers · 8 months ago
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I can’t stop thinking about how every parental figure in Kristen’s life has failed her by prioritizing their other kids.
Obviously, her bio parents are racist assholes who raised her in a fundamentalist cult, and kicked out at 15, all because her parents were offended she was “taking her friends’ side over theirs.” Which she didn’t, what she did was ask for answers and tell them that Daybreak tried to kill her but they refused to believe her. Instead, they chose to make her homeless so she doesn’t spread the idea that her parents don’t know everything. Two years later, and they’re still doing the same thing at the diner.
Then there’s Jawbone and he’s Tracker’s guardian, and unlike Adaine, she didn’t get a speech about how he’d take her in, or what their relationship was, she just moved in with her girlfriend, and he was the adult of the house. And now that she and Tracker have broken up, he and Sandra Lynn don’t seem to have made the time to talk to her about what that means for her place in this family. Adaine came back from spring break to gifts for every birthday she had without Jawbone and adoption papers. Kristen’s mail from her school was going to her parents’ house when she lives with the guidance counselor.
Then, there’s the fact that when Sandra Lynn and Jawbone moved in together, she took on a role she clearly wasn’t ready for, as she was still repairing her relationship with Fig. Kristen had to be the one to finally snap her out of her self destructive spiral with Garthy and then Sandra Lynn asked her to keep it a secret. Meaning she wouldn’t be able to tell Tracker, the only person who has been meeting her emotional and physical safety needs, above just giving her a room to live in. (And we know this is true because part of the reason Nara and Tracker are together is because Nara doesn’t need those things from Tracker). And yes, Sandra Lynn apologizes to the whole group, as she should, for putting their home in jeopardy, which is a massive step. But she never talks to Kristen about putting her between the 3 people responsible for keeping her out of her parent’s house.
So Sandra Lynn calls Fig, “her only daughter in the world,” and Jawbone is only legally responsible for Adaine and Tracker, and neither of them, nor any other adult, has asked if Kristen feels safe or if she’s okay. Like I’m sorry, who the fuck is taking care of the cleric who’s god and teacher died in the same year, is going through deprogramming from a cult that wants her back, her first breakup, seeing her estranged parents and siblings again, and now being expelled on zero grounds despite working herself to the bone to make sure her party gets to go to college?
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beebfreeb · 3 months ago
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Hiii! Not sure if you've gotten this question already, so feel free to ignore this if you have, but what do you think Combo Breaker's reaction to Candybug would've been if he saw him like that? (I like Breaker a lot and was so curious about what kind of thoughts he'd have about that abomination because I legit had NO idea how he'd react, so figured I'd ask the source lol)
LOL, glad to hear that you like him ^_^! I did think about like, if he arrived a little earlier... provided that a cybug wouldn't, like, carry him away before he saw KC.
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He would think KC looks very cool and say strange things like "woah what's those weird tubes you got?" and "Can I stick my fingers in the space between your joints or is that weird?"
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hazelnutnebula · 9 months ago
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dude, its like. 6 times more evil in here now;, h ello? ?????
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rakkuntoast · 1 year ago
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idk what compelled me to do this but phil's mini me's are all both bugs and also the colorzas, i am just going with that
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revasserium · 3 months ago
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burn
umemiya hajime; 3,307 words; mostly fluff, tiny bit of angst, young/freshman!umemiya, pre-canon events, lapslock, no "y/n", librarian!reader, childhood friends to lovers, vague ref to ch. 152, ume is a dumbdumb
summary: "it's a pleasure to burn" - ray bradbury, fahrenheit 451
a/n: am i writing umemiya now? who knows. this takes place 2 years before wbk manga events (the first year ume&co are in boufuurin) so pls excuse the slightly ooc ume...
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001. the art of war
the library is entirely your idea.
“mah… you’d have to be the one to keep track of all the books though,” umemiya says, grinning as he watches you stock the shelves, your hair twisted up into a messy bun, your arm straining to reach the top-most shelf with a bundle of paperbacks with fraying covers and broken-in spines.
“of course i would! it’s not like there’s anyone else here i’d trust with that.” you turn to fix him with a stare that is already too “librarian-like” and he laughs, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied sigh.
“okay then, consider me your first patron! gimme something to read,” umemiya says, smiling wide as you narrow your eyes. your lips twitch up at the ends — it’s a familiar movement, an unconscious gesture, but one that’s plagued his all sleepless nights and most of his endless days.
“well…” you say, drawing out the word as you slowly saunter towards him, propping your hands on your hips as you pull level with the table in front of him, “what do you want to read?”
“anything you’d wanna lend me,” he says easily.
“boo, that’s such a boring answer,” you shoot back, shifting to press your hip against the edge of the table, crossing your arms as you turn to look back at the half-erected shelves.
you don’t see the way umemiya’s eyes flicker down to the bend of your waist, or the way he licks his lips as he tracks the plush of your thigh as you move to hoist yourself onto the desk, balancing on the edge.
he swallows, clearing his throat, trying not to think about the strange, burgeoning signs of growing up pestering you both at this vital juncture (just last week, his voice had cracked so hard you’d laughed at him for a whole hour straight; and the week before that, he’d almost rammed into a telephone poll watching you jog down the flight of stairs that leads to your tiny apartment).
“then maybe reading a few books will make me not so boring, hm?”
you roll your eyes, hopping off the table to comb through the handful of books. umemiya lets out an internal sigh of relief, feeling the heat in his cheeks recede ever so slightly as you disappear behind one of the taller shelves.
“here. let’s start with this.”
you pop out from behind the shelf, lobbing a thin volume towards him; he catches it out of reflex and stares at the cover.
“the art of war…?”
you grin, all cheek and no shame, “yeah. i mean… fits, doesn’t it? aren’t you starting at boufuurin next week?” you blink before turning back to look around at the small, abandoned storage facility, tucked between a ramen shop and what used to be a dollar store. there’s half a dozen dusty shelves, a few cabinets along the walls, and even a small stepladder that touma had dug out of the back closet for you.
at fifteen, you’re probably the smartest person he knows (and the prettiest, but that’s neither here nor there); at fifteen, umemiya hajime is an iron-wrought confluence of teenage ambition with big ideas and even bigger dreams (who doesn’t have time for things like crushes or girls… really).
“yeah,” umemiya runs a finger along the cover of the little book and flips to a random page, his eyes catching on the line —
the greatest victory is that which requires no battle at all.
002. pedro reyes
three weeks later, he stumbles back with two black eyes and a matching pair of bleeding knuckles.
“that book you lent me?” he says, dropping into a chair with a groan, “kinda bullshit.”
you make a half-startled, half-annoyed noise as you hurry over, setting down an armful of magazines to lean over and look at his face.
“what the hell happened?”
umemiya winces as you reach out to wipe a trickle of blood from his cheek.
“couple of fights — tough ones, but… well, i’m still here, aren’t i?” he says, managing a lopsided grin even as you tut, hurrying away to grab a first aid kit, returning with a warm, wet cloth and a scowl on your face.
“i thought you had a plan,” you say, unable to keep the acid from your voice.
umemiya groans as you press the damp cloth to his bloodied fingers, watching as you wipe each one down, the shocking white of the towel slowly darkening until it’s stained and blotchy with red.
“yeah. i did — punch everyone out till i get to the top.”
you tsk, frown deepening even as he shifts forward to let you wipe at the wounds on his face.
“pretty sure that’s not what sun tzu suggests,” you say, dabbing some kind of cooling gel to a cut right below his eye.
“sun tzu’s never had to deal with the guys at boufuurin.”
you roll your eyes, sighing before pulling back, “there’s an article i read today —” you jerk your head back towards the stack of magazines, “about an artist in mexico.”
“yeah?”
umemiya closes his eyes and lets you do the slow, diligent work of bandaging up his knuckles, one by one.
“he took a bunch of illegal weapons the government had confiscated and melted them down — pistols, knives, shotguns — and made them into musical instruments instead.”
the quiet that follows is thick and steady as churned butter. you don’t look up, your eyes still trained on the careful task of bandaging umemiya’s fingers.
he shifts, pulling closer, his breath fanning out warm against your cheek.
“do you know how hot a fire has to be in order to melt metal?” you ask after another brief silence, finally lifting your eyes as you finish with his hands.
umemiya cocks an eyebrow, “how hot?”
“about 2,700 degrees, fahrenheit.”
umemiya whistles below his breath, “sounds hot.”
“it is. at that temperature, you can apparently force a weapon to forget that it’s a weapon, to remake it into something new — something that wasn’t made to take lives… but to give it instead.”
you wrap your fingers around his, your skin contrasted against the dark blossom of bruises.
umemiya feels his smile slash into something jagged, lopsided and sharp.
“then… i guess that’s how hot i’ll have to burn to turn this whole place around.”
003. grey’s anatomy
looking back, umemiya wonders if that’s the night he changed — the night that you’d held onto his hands as if they were something precious.
he looks up the melting point of metal and the story of the artist in mexico. he thinks about what it must feel like to turn a pistol into a flute, to be the one to teach it to hold a note instead of a bullet —
he stares down at his bandaged hands, feels the dull ache in his muscles and wonders.
once, he remembers when the pair of you were still kids, hollow and lonely and full of a childish rage at the indifferent world — how you’d laughed as he pushed you on a neighborhood swing, but cried when he knocked a guy’s front teeth our for asking where your parents were.
and a week later, he’d found you hidden under the jungle gym with a tomb of a book clutched in your hands. the air had been damp with thunder, the sky grey and electric.
you’d looked up at him with bright eyes, holding out a closed fist —
“ume! did you know that the human heart is the same size as a fist?”
he remembers crawling under the jungle gym to squeeze in beside you, elbow to elbow, hip to hip, peering at the opened book, at the page with a diagram of the human body an all it’s labeled parts.
“oh, cool.”
he’d held up his own fist then, and stared, feeling the beat of his heart reverberating through his chest. he wonders if you can hear it when you’re pressed this close; he wonders, if the sky weren’t breaking apart above you, if he’d be able to hear your heartbeats too.
“isn’t it strange?” you’d asked, leaning over to bump your fist against his.
“what’s strange?” he hadn’t pulled away; neither had you.
your hand relaxes then, fingers loosening till he can see the blood rush back into their tips, tinting them pink. you’d turned your hand and placed it over his still-closed one and squeezed.
“that… a heart and a fist are the same size but… they weren’t made to beat the same.”
004. romeo & juliet
“he loves you, y’know.”
you look up from the makeshift front desk.
tsubaki is sitting with their legs crossed on one of the tables, arms propped on either side of their hips.
“library’s not open for another few days,” you say by way of an answer.
“it’s nice,” tsubaki says, looking around, “you did a good job with it.”
“thanks.”
they hop off the table to peer down one of the aisles of books — all the shelves now labeled with your loopy handwriting, the books clustered by a loose combination of genre, authorship, and spine-coloration.
“it’ll be good for us,” tsubaki’s voice is slightly muted by the layers and layers of books, but the click of their heeled boots rings sharp against the smooth linoleum floors, “having a library — the pen being mightier than the sword, and all.”
they’re smiling when they finally come back around the last row, fingers linked behind their back.
“that’s the hope, anyway,” you say, lips pulling into a wane smile.
you glance up and your eyes catch on the bandage at the edge of tsubaki’s lips, the dark stain at the collar of their otherwise impeccable uniform.
sighing, you run a hand along a yet-unsorted stack of books, shaking your head.
“we’re too young to know anything about love,” you answer, finally.
tsubaki joins you, bending down to pick up the first book at the top of the pile, waving it in the air with a rueful grin.
“i think romeo & juliet would beg to differ.”
you bite your lips, “you know that’s a tragedy, right?”
tsubaki shrugs, “sure, but… wasn’t it beautiful while it lasted anyway?”
you don’t have an answer, and instead, tsubaki giggles, tapping the top of your head with the book.
“can i borrow this? i promise i’ll return it!”
you wave them away with a soft smile.
“that’s kind of how a library works.”
005. fight club
“how long have you been here?”
you jerk up, your entire body screaming with the movement after having been still for so long.
“ume —! you’re awake!” you nearly collapse by the hospital bedside, dropping your head into the pristine white sheets.
above you, umemiya makes a choked off sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh, his hand coming up to pat your head. you melt into the feel of him, the weight and warmth of his fingers as he treads them through your hair.
“where’s —”
“they left — all of them,” you say, lifting your head slowly, “takishii and endo and… all of them.”
umemiya frowns, his hand stilling for a second, “what do you mean?”
you shrug, pulling back till you’re curled up in the bedside seat once more, tugging your knees up into your chest.
“after the fight, they just… picked up and left.”
“so… i lost,” umemiya’s voice is soft.
you shake your head, “no.”
he frowns, “but that’s —”
“you knocked each other out at the same time — it was technically —” your voice snags in your throat as you remember the grizzly scene before you, the crimson sprays of blood, the dirt damp beneath them, their uniforms torn into dark ribbons, the rooftop howling with a savage, winter wind.
“a tie,” umemiya says in a flatlined voice, reaching up and covering his eyes with his arm.
“right.”
you clear your throat, reaching for the tall glass of water on the bedside table.
“here — drink,” you hold the water out to him. he takes it wordlessly and drains nearly the entire glass. you watch, silent, as a drop of liquid trails down his jaw and trickles into the bandages at this throat.
your eyes cut away as he grins, smacking his lips and setting the water glass down.
“ah — that feels much better!”
you’re quiet, sitting vulturine still, refusing to meet his gaze.
umemiya finally slumps back to stare at the ceiling.
“you’re mad at me.”
“i’m not.”
“we’e known each other our whole lives, i know when you’re mad —”
“i’m scared, okay?” there’s a thin, unsteady quiver to the tenor of your voice as your head snaps back up. it’s then that he notices your fingers curled into fists at your sides.
“s-scared? of what? takiishi and endo are gone — you said so your—”
“of you!”
umemiya blinks and feels the blood in his extremities going cold, and for a second, he’s not sure if he accidentally dislodged his iv drip.
the look on your face is inscrutable, anger and uncertainty, but most of all — fear. something about that look makes his stomach curdle inside him.
“i —” he tries to find something to say but nothing else comes out. there’s no excuse, no explanation. he searches you eyes for a tether, for a spark of that familiar warmth and finds none.
slowly, you soften back into the seat and turn to stare out the window.
“it’s not like i’ve never seen you fight… and i’ve never liked it but this…” you bite down on your bottom lip, “it was like… you turned into someone else. someone i didn’t recognize.”
“i’m… i’m sorry.”
you swallow, still not looking at him, your eyes flickering down to your own hands, now lying limply in your lap.
“and then i thought — what if i did this? i — i had to go and make that stupid metaphor about the metal and the melting and —”
at this, umemiya laughs, reaching out to tug you closer. the ease with which he does so startles a hiccup out of you.
“you don’t really think i went and fought like that because of an article about a dude in mexico, do you?”
you purse your lips, cheeks going blotchy with heat. umemiya reaches forward to squeeze your nose, making you jerk back.
“dummy,” he chides, grinning now from ear to ear, but his smile falters slightly as he takes your hands in his, “i’m sorry that i scared you. promise i won’t do it again.”
“hn.” you don’t make to pull away, and umemiya takes that as permission to tug you into his chest, wrapping both arms around you. he buries his face in your hair and breathes in, out, in —
“hm… you really think you have that much power over me?” umemiya asks, a wanton sort of amusement underlying his voice as he finally lets you go, if only to revel in the way your cheeks flood with color.
“shut up! i was — i was freaked out and you were unconscious and i —”
“cause you do.”
your words cut off as abruptly as a dropped call.
umemiya chuckles, scratching at the back of his head, ruffling up his already pillow-mussed hair.
“been meaning to tell you but… i figured you already knew — “ and for once, he sounds his age — young and halting and shy.
after a breath that feels like a century, you finally break into a helpless fit of laughter.
“i can’t believe it…” you say, burying your face in your hands.
“can’t… believe what?” umemiya blinks at you.
“that it took you nearly dying for you to admit that you liked me.”
“hey! in case you haven’t noticed, i’ve been kinda busy this year!”
you roll your eyes, “yeah, yeah — had to go save the world first. then you get to kiss the girl, right? end movie, roll credits.”
umemiya cocks his head, “well, i dunno about the world but definitely — wait, what did you say about kissing me?”
you crinkle your nose, “i didn’t.”
“yeah you did.”
“i did not — i was just making a general statement about cliches in superhero movies —”
“oh, so you think i’m a superhero?”
“ume! stop it — mph!”
later, umemiya would recall fondly to anyone who will listen that yeah, he does get to kiss the girl after all.
006. fahrenheit 451
“451,” you say, standing at the door of the newly minted makochi library.
it’s dark outside, and umemiya stands by your side, stretching his arms over his head with a wide yawn.
“huh?”
“451 degrees,” you say again, turning to press a small silver lighter into his hands. he stares owlishly at it before looking back at you, clearly at a loss.
“that’s how hot it has to be for paper to catch fire.”
umemiya stares.
“i was thinking,” you say, turning back to the dark, but pristine library.
“uh-oh — oof — ow!” umemiya makes a show of clutching his side as you jerk your elbow back for another blow. he dodges out of your way with a dopey grin.
you sigh, turning back to the library, “but i was thinking that… there’s gotta be a better way — an easier way, right?”
this time, he stays quiet to let you speak.
���because yeah, it’d be nice to melt all the weapons in the world and turn them all into nicer things but… there’s a better way to do things.”
“yeah? and what’s that?” umemiya turns the lighter around and around in his palm.
you turn and head for the door, locking it behind you. the moonlight washes your skin in a ghostly silver as you turn to face him.
“we rewrite the story,” you say.
umemiya flicks on the lighter and lets the fire dance between them. his breath catches on the liquid gold in your eyes.
“is… that even possible?” he asks.
you reach out a steady hand, letting the tips of your fingers barely skim over the shifting flame.
“sure it is. all of human history is just a story written by the victors. and… 451 degrees isn’t nearly as hot as 2,700.”
umemiya smiles then, letting the lid of the lighter click shut. the fire snuffs out, leaving only a thin trail of spiraling smoke behind.
“sounds a lot more reasonable, too. much less scary,” he says.
you laugh, turning towards the main street. he watches you go for a second before pocketing the lighter and making to catch up. when he levels himself with you, he reaches out to take your hand.
“fires don’t have to be scary,” you say, giving his hand a quick squeeze, “for most of human history… it’s brought people together — over a hot meal or a good story. a lot of the time… it’s the only reason we get to survive.”
umemiya pulls you in to loop his arm around your shoulder.
“hm. i like the sound of that way, way better.”
bonus:
“so… just makin’ sure — you don’t want me to burn down the new library you spent all this time setting up, right?”
“no you dumbass! it was just a metaphor.”
“oh. right — yeah, a metaphor, duh.”
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eggsplice · 1 year ago
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They’re parasites. You know what it means to be a parasite, right, Tommy? You know it real intimately.
(Excerpt from 'when a house is both hungry and awake' by logsteds)
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