#it also pissed me off because both his mom and my mom have issues with stairs

[neonacidtrip]

I am home from apartment hunting and I would just like to say I am extremely disappointed, as an able-bodied person, to learn only 1 out of the 13 complexes we visited had an elevator.

[moongreenlight]

GIRLIE PLS I NEED MORE YOUNG HOUSEWIFE x PRICE 😭😭

Instead of starting every ask response with “sorry it took me so long to get to this I suck” I’m just going to issue a blanket statement that I have like 45+ asks in my inbox rn and I get so overwhelmed looking at them that I just ignore them until I need to write something. I love you all for messaging me I love hearing your ideas and compliments please don’t stop sending them just bear with me as I sift through them. <3

Also- I got legit death threats on my first post like this. I’d like to make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that this is a LEGAL AGE GAP. It’s not grooming, it’s not predatory, it’s ENTIRELY LEGAL. You’re early twenties. He’s mid-to-late-thirties. Please do not bite my head off.

Anyway I’m back on my Price and his young housewife bullshit below the cut. Xoxoxo

Here’s the OG post if you need a refresher

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

There’s this scene in the MW3 campaign where Price and Farah are talking about where she got the missiles from and he’s trying to shoulder up with her, but she just shuts him down in the end. (Like always I hope you’ll trust me. Implicitly) (John Price the man that you are!!!!!!) and I really think that’s the household dynamic. He’s always the biggest in the room, but he’s got this incredible reverence and respect for women who can out-bitch him. Bends his rigid spine BACKWARDS for you. Would move mountains if you’d only ask.

Doesn’t always have to be serious things. Like maybe you’ve made friends with some moms in the neighborhood (it’s a point of pride for him that they’re all minimum 5 years older than you.) and they all go to this obscenely expensive Pilates class at six in the morning. You mention in passing that you’re signing up and the suburban white dad in him makes his ears perk.

“‘N how much ‘s this class going to cost me?”

“Dunno. Think it just goes on the account.”

“Course. Gym membership doesn’t cost enough as it is.”

And then all it takes is him seeing you in a matching workout set for all of his protest to die down. For SURE makes a comment about how he ‘didn’t know it’d be this worthwhile’

Loosely following that point, I think any real arguments get hostile very quickly. He’s not so egotistical that he won’t apologize, but I’m certain that it’s like pulling teeth to get him to that point. He can hold a grudge unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Borders heavily on immature when the two of you are in the thick of things. Starts shit just to start shit. (Secretly because he just loves makeup sex. Would rather eat you out until you’re sobbing than actually say the words “I’m sorry.”)

Having thoughts about him bringing you to some military ball. The both of you dressing up and sliding into the car that was sent for you just to sit on opposite ends of the backseat and not speak a single word. He burns through a cigar in record time and you toss back a few glasses of champagne. You both put on appearances getting out of the car. Hook your hand around his bicep while he shoves you inside with his hand on the small of your back. Hissing nasty quips back and forth about making this quick. Few hellos. Show your faces and then you can get home and get away from each other. Putting on appearances only goes so far, though, because when John is pissed- everyone feels it. Sucks the life out of a room and replaces it with an eerie feeling like a bomb’s about to go off.

He leaves you alone with a few other wives. Pulled away by Laswell with a promise of a ‘quick’ meeting. He comes back half an hour later fuming when he sees that somehow you’ve been pulled away from where he left you and found company chatting with his boys at the bar.

He gruffs some greetings before dragging you away by the arm so roughly that you have to stifle a yip.

“Are we leaving?”

“No.”

“So what is it, John? You’re making everyone think we’re miserable.”

“We are miserable.”

He’s yet to stop yanking you away. You have to do an awkward half-jog to follow him down a short hallway just outside the washrooms.

“Christ, would you just-“

“You look like a slag in that dress.”

He about throws you straight into the corner at the end of the hall. Muscles in his jaw ticking under the force that he’s using to grit his teeth.

“Sorry?”

His lips are brushing the shell of your ear. Bullying you further back into the wall. You’re entirely taken aback by his ferocity; especially because he usually prefers you wear something much more revealing than this. Some twisted point of pride, him seeing all the men your age drooling over you even after knowing you’re on his arm.

“Ought to let the boys pass you around. See if that won’t sort out that fucking attitude of yours.”

Theres some more protest from you, but it was entirely useless given how worked up he was. He ends up making good on his threat and shoving you into Ghost’s side when he brings you back out. He says something, but you can barely hear it over the blood rushing in your ears. Though you assume it’s a half-warning, half-explanation by the way Ghost snakes an arm loosely around your waist and gives a sharp nod. You get off relatively easy all things considered because Ghost is the only one smart enough not to take Price’s words at face value and sneak you away to some coat closet. That’s a permission granted only when John was present and in his right mind.

I cannot stress enough how much it gets him off to see you pregnant. Not like sexually, but he is nothing if not a glutton when it comes to feeding his ego. Likes it when you wear shirts that hug your swollen belly tight so he can see exactly how much your body is changing. Even better if they’re crop-tops that show off the skin that’s now littered with stretch-marks from growing his babies.

I have been saying this, but just to make it clear, he wants a small army of children. Like enough to have one of those trashy reality TV shows about how many kids you have. (In reality I’m getting 4/5 kids in total vibes) Loves coming home from work and seeing you carefully stirring a big pot on the stove while bouncing a baby on your hip, pulling a clingy toddler around on your leg, and situating your school-aged kids with their homework at the table.

But he most definitely hires a live-in nanny to help you out. Knows it’s not fair to leave you with that kind of responsibility. But also it just makes him so hot to see you mothering his kids that he needs to be able to take you away and not have to scramble to find something to occupy the kids.

Makes the nanny take over bath time more often than not so the two of you can take a bubble bath yourselves. He loves the casual intimacy of pouring two glasses of wine and having thirty or forty minutes to yourselves.

Having this visual of you before you’ve started having kids sitting in the tub after being strangely quiet all night. He offers you a heavily-poured glass of red and you’re a little glassy-eyed and staring up at him but making no move to take it.

“You alright, doll?”

“Mm?”

“Said you alright? Don’t want a drink?”

A long moment of silence from you. Long enough for him to perch on the rim of the tub and gently tip you up to look at him by putting a few fingers under your chin.

“John, I think I’m pregnant.”

“So no drink, then.”

[respectthepetty]

The Loyal Pin - Episode 10

Last episode, my Wild Ass Theory that Anin and Pin will inherit their mother's colors as they come into adulthood resurfaced as Anin wore a yellow dress when she left the beach, and this episode, she wears a blue and yellow skirt as she asks her brother to teach her how to drive.

Anin's brother is wearing blue, so I had high hopes for him being supportive of Anin this episode, and the piggyback ride as well as the purple flowers helped me keep the faith.

But Kuea stays pissing me off, and Anin's younger brother seems oblivious to anything beyond his own little get-everyone-hitched agenda.

So, of course, Kuea runs immediately over to the main house DURING HIS WORK HOURS to snitch on Pin. I appreciate that everyone keeps questioning his worth ethic though.

But the mom is wearing pink and blue, so unlike Anin's older brother, I have no idea how she'll take this news. Pin is wearing a darker pink now though, so I think the adult responsibilities are coming sooner than the girls are realizing.

AND WE GET BACKSTORY! Part of my Wild Ass Theory was that Pin's mom was a lesbian. She has her more vibrant pink color, but at times she wears yellow/orange. I guessed the yellow/orange came from a previous lover.

So her opening a sunflower ring was all the evidence I needed.

I don't know if Im's color is peach or pink.

But I can't focus because Patt is on the floor looking like a snack, and I think she is in blue.

Then, we see Im and Patt's love story. Patt was Im's companion and Im is still wearing whatever color she is wearing, while Patt is fully in blue.

And they were in love with each other.

Patt knows what Pin's ring means because she was once Pin. Im gave Patt the yellow flower ring in the same way Anin gave the ring to Pin.

But there was no happily ever after for Patt and Im because Im died!

I thought the backstory would help clear up the colors and the confusion, but it didn't! Patt seemed colorless in the past like Aon is now. If Im's color was pink, then it makes sense Patt carried it with her all this time. And if Im's color was peach, it makes sense that Patt uses it every now and then, yet it doesn't explain why Patt shifted her color from blue to purple. It also doesn't make sense why she was so upset about Pin's ring. It's not like Im rejected her or left her for a someone else. Im died. They loved each other. That love was real and never doubted, so why is she upset at Pin's ring now?!

The girls and their colors are evolving, but they are changing together, so what is the mom so afraid of? If we had seen society or some external factors harming Patt and Im's relationship, maybe I could understand, but the backstory just makes me think she should be more supportive of the girls' love.

But here she is now fully in her color and throwing her support behind Kuea! I do not comprehend this.

I'm shocked that Anin's older brother seems to be the only one with any sense! I was worried when he showed up colorless, but he helped to cover for his sister.

And now he can get that ally badge for supporting the color-coded couple!

Anin and I both love him dearly!

But Patt is still bothering me! She is a lesbian! She shows up in yellow and orange because she still loves Im. So why not let the color-coded girls be IN LOVE?!

Pin's color is getting redder just like her mom's, and I'm worried that her mom is going to push even harder next episode for her to get married. We have six episodes left. Even though I don't fully know what the colors mean, the reds and yellows/oranges are showing up too often now for me to ignore.

Just like Anin sneaking up on Prik, these colors and adulthood are sneaking up on the girls while they are just trying to enjoy their lives.

By the end of the episode, the color-coded girls in love seem to have sorted their issues out because Pink Person Pin is looking lovely.

Which is probably due to her getting all of Anin's attention after not seeing her for a weeks.

And Blue Beauty Anin looks refreshed the day after.

So of course this chick with her can't-get-one-consistent-color self would ruin the color-coded happiness I wanted to feel secure in!

Patt's color confuses me, but Aon's color(s) frustrate me because I don't know if she is trying to be Pin which is why she wears Pin's color(s) or if she has no real identity and will shape herself into whatever she needs to be to please Anin because she never wears a consistent color.

And I know this frustratation is going to stick with me next episode because my babygirl is crying, and I'm already salty about it.

At least Pin and Anin will be solely in their colors next episode, so I have nothing to worry about with them and their relationship, right?

*Heng walks into the scene* FUCK!

[snarky-art]

Chimera and Cassandra!

In my rewrite, they’re both Lunarian , aka Deliosians (the actual name that most of them use to refer to themselves as)

Cassandra does indeed use Valtor’s influence to get them a higher ranking, in fact, the highest ranking one could get under Solarian rule.

Chimera is just a pawn in that, and although isn’t enthusiastic, is non the less shunned into obedience by their mother.

Info on their general storyline, content within my lore, and why I drew them Cassandra with a different skin tone and Chimera with a different hair texture below!

Cassandra ends up tanning to pass as more Solarian since they have an ethnic ancestry from those who stayed underground on Lunaria, which in my thing, results in them tending to have a paler complexion as well as increasing the likelihood for a paler hair color. Blond is considered a Solarian trait by those from Solaria, although the lightness of it would be considered Lunarian. Cassandra can just pass it off as being the result of some “impure Ancestry” though and that she’s mainly Solarian because,, the color of her hair, you see? Blond! And her iris color (also Lunarian, but she can claim the paleness is because of the small Lunarian part “tainting” it and resulting in phenotypic traits being less intense in hue) and that combined with her tan, she can prove she is Mostly Solarian,, right????

Spoiler alert: she’s totally 100% Lunarian.

In my thing, Stella will realize fairly quickly that Chimera is not someone who has much choice in this. On top of not being a willful participant, they hate pretty much everything about it. They straighten their hair because it’s easier than curling it to the 3c and various 4 texture curls that Solarian’s can have, but they still hate it. They refuse to tan or add glimmers or contacts to change their eyes. They don’t want to. Why should they?

Cassandra allows it, VERY begrudgingly. She can blame it all on Chimera’s father anyway (he had an ancestry from those who lived above ground hilariously enough, meaning his skin tone and hair color were darker overall, and he could’ve passed better as Solarian if he wanted to ((he didn’t for obvious reasons. Fuck Solarian Imperial rule.)) but shhhh he’s not in the political sphere there’s no reason for that information to pop up ever).

Even with all of this though, when all of this stuff is said and done, Stella can’t even really blame Cassandra.

For Cassandra, yes it is an attempt at a power grab, but, Stella also kind of Gets It.

“Well,, I can’t really blame her for this at the end of it all. I understand why she would want that power. How else would she get it? She’s Lunarian.”

She’s still pissed at her for doing what she could to get rid of her obviously and she thinks she’s a shitty mom, but the actual goal of trying to get on the throne? Stella goes, “well I think it’s fair to see why she would want more power. It’s not like they have much compared to me. To Solarians.”

And people are pissed she’s saying this, it was cute she was trying to play Dress Up and shit (how they referred to her connecting to her heritage from her mother, wearing actual Deliosian garb and paying respect to the Moons equally as much as the Suns). But she’s taking this seriously? Cassandra was just another power hungry Lunarian trying to get into court in a higher position. They’ve always wanted more than they have, say the Solarians in power.

Stella’s response? It’s because what they have isn’t equal.

The rest of the panel she’s speaking to during the court session: well,, I mean, that’s not the same as wanting equality-

Stella: why not? Because you’ve refused to give them independence. This wouldn’t be an issue if you did that. Or are you actually going to concede and give them equal representation?

The panel:…..

Stella ends it by pointing out she’s just as much Lunarian as she is Solarian. The panel hates it.

Stella and Chimera end up as sisters when everything is done, with Stella and Chimera referring to each other as such, and Chimera becomes one of the loudest people and a head representative for the Delios Independence Movement.

Cassandra is still in court sessions as a political figure, but is given shit for being such an ass to Stella and being seen as a shitty mom, forcing her daughter into this and using her mainly for a political pawn. It’s too soon to let her continue to hold influence though after the Valtor incident the others present decide, and she’s kicked out for a while. She’s still shit talked for the reasons previously mentioned, and for being a Lunarian that dared to want power, according to the Solarian Imperialists in court.

Stella invites her back after a time. Stella appreciates her thoughts on how to make things better for those of Delios because she knows Cassandra will never hold back on her real thoughts and feelings. Chimera and Cassandra don’t really talk after everything for a while, but eventually things do get better, and they do resume regular correspondence and communication. They’ll never be super close, but they know they can rely on each other when it counts.

[toxicroyjamie]

I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this specific trend I've noticed for Jamie-centric angst fics that really rubs me the wrong way. It's the type of fic where Jamie gets triggered by Roy yelling? And usually ends with Roy having to apologize for shouting and then the story like narratively implies that it's Roy's moral imperative that he should never yell at/around Jamie ever again because of his trauma with his dad. And this headcannon just annoys me because CANONICALLY Jamie has never backed down from a fight with Roy?? Or even seemed really cowed by him?? So I just don't see how Roy yelling would be a trigger for him. Obviously, to each their own, but I think it would be more intriguing to approach this idea from a different angle, meaning after Roy learns more about Jamie's situation with his dad, he ASSUMES that his yelling would be triggering and so tries to censor himself around Jamie and this backfires since Jamie gets pissed off that he's getting the kidde glove treatment. I dunno, I just think there's a tendency to woobify Jamie in angst fic that simultaneously demonises Roy and it just gets on my nerves a bit.

Thoughts ⬇️

For me sort of depends on the specific fic and the execution of the idea (like it definitely CAN be woobifying), but I don't dislike it broadly and would even say I enjoy it most of the time, because I do think some of Roy's behavior towards Jamie is realistically inappropriate given what he knows about Jamie's background and I wish that had been a consideration onscreen even a little bit at all.

I don't think these fics come out of a desire to woobify Jamie (again that's speaking to the concept as a whole because I've definitely read individual fics like this where he IS woobified) so much as to authentically explore Jamie's C-PTSD, which was lent very little consideration or realism on the show. Realistically, I do think some of Roy's behavior would trigger a person who had been physically abused for years, and I don't think it's inherently infantilizing to explore that in a more true-to-life way.

I wouldn't say that it's inherently "demonizing" of Roy, either, because ime most of these fics are very generous and empathetic to Roy and don't portray any kind of negative intention on his part. He typically takes on the role of a very understanding and supportive partner who is willing to change his behavior, and I don't think that recognizing a *behavior* as negative is painting a *person* in a negative light.

On that note I also don't think it's an unfair or unreasonable ask that Roy stop yelling at his friend/partner with PTSD so much. Jamie wouldn't be in the wrong to expect that. Roy is an adult who should be able regulate his emotions, and there's really no need for him to lash out the way he does. Jamie had to make a lot of changes to his behavior out of consideration for other people, because part of being an adult in society is thinking about your actions and not just doing whatever you want - I don't really see why Roy shouldn't be asked to do the same and kind of wish he had been 🤷🏼‍♀️

Imo if it's out of character for Jamie to be triggered by Roy's behavior because that scenario wasn't explicitly shown onscreen, it's equally out of character for Roy to be concerned about how his aggression would affect Jamie, because he never seemed to really think about that. So personally I don't honestly see the scenario you described as any more true to canon than the other angle - I think both are equally valid explorations of something that canon neglected!

I will say that I personally think the yelling would be less of an issue than how physical Roy can be, because yelling (as you said) doesn't seem to typically bother him, but Jamie was clearly triggered by Ted yelling at him and started crying when Roy was yelling at him in Mom City, so I can see how yelling would affect him when he's already in a fragile state

TL;DR I actually am fond of the concept so I'm going to agree to disagree, but I do think your thoughts are also valid!!

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

I made something! You can use it to your advantage as well but I am dumb and forgot Luke my poor child.

Context! This will be basically my Mc's world where me and my sister are in devildom alongside everyone. (Updated feelings!)

Lucifer : I have heavy daddy issues so once I saw Lucifer and how he acted I was like 👀. There is a little red because sometimes I hate him so lol. Due to me having a massive crush on Dia and Beel I slowly had my feelings converted to friends since though I am a slut I am a loyal slut. So I did have romantic feelings/crush beforehand but my feelings became stronger.

Mammon: Ofc the poor boy is smitten but since it's with both me and my sister he has feelings for both. I absolutely adore him and if I didn't want dia and beel so bad he would be next in line. But I do also find him a great friend.

Levi: Lmao okay the little hate is because I cannot stand the way he talks I have stated this before but that's really it. Otherwise I think he'd be a great friend because I do enjoy anime and totally would play video games with 24/7. I do not find myself dating him and view him as only a friend. Though sadly I feel like he'd gain a crush on me with how often I'd be around him.

Satan: Don't get me wrong he is hot and all but not that much my type (doesn't like blondes). We would be great friends I feel like since we have bad anger issues to fix together. Again I feel like he would like me slowly because I love to piss off Lucifer and can relate to him.

Asmos: Now I have like zero romantic interest in him. So I would like being friends since I do enjoy makeup and skincare. Because I enjoy some angst I feel like he would gain a crush on me but I would have to push him away and let him see me actively love after someone else knowing I am not doing it on purpose.

Beel: straight up in love with him. Everything he does makes me smile and make my heart hurt. I feel like even though it's hard for him to speak of his emotions he would be heavily in love with me too. I adore family and would do anything for them along with being strong on my beliefs and opinions. I also often self sacrifice because I care for others too much. (I swear I am not trying to be a pick me I just see qualities the brothers would like about me and they would push feelings too far with them😭)

Belphie: of this little slut has a crush on me he is constantly up my ass and very protective whenever someone else touches me (not beel). I would definitely have a crush since I like protective men. Tho again my feelings for his brother would overpower that. I would absolutely love him as a friend because starting shit is so much fun and I adore sleeping.

Solomon: this fucker is someone my sister would go after so I will back off (in this au). We would be great friends and I'd probably tease him for the crush he has on my sister.

Raphael: surprise! I don't fully hate him anymore! He's grown a bit on me since I can see he does care a little but I still get irritated by him. I feel like he wouldn't care much for my existence and tolerate me when I am around but not fully hate me.

Meso: dear God his attitude in the game gets me furious. I will definitely butt heads with him and constantly argue. But I do feel like at a calming point we'd be a little bit of friends in that time.

13: my beloved wife I want to marry her. It'd be the classic wlw troupe of best friends who have secret feelings for each other that everyone can see but them.

Simeon: he's sexy to me and actually very sweet so I would have a tiny crush on him. That would soon turn to friends due to others but it would be like me and him raising luke basically. Which would lead to him liking me since he'd love me as Luke's (mom).

Dia: I am in love need to marry immediately. He is such a sweetheart that if I'd tell him slightly that I like him he would go off the rails and do anything in his power to come after me. (Id love it)

Barb: again belongs to my sister so no romance. We would enjoy tea and peace and quiet. Kinda like two older siblings finally getting a break together 🤣.

Luke: I would treat him like my little brother or son because he's so cute I wouldn't be able to resist. I'd be aiming for an older sister role but he most likely won't see me as that and more motherly.

Please do not take this as me being a pick me this is my take on how things would be like in my world/au of Obey Me and it could end in many different ways that I can write about if you'd like.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my parents to get a divorce?

So, I (26M) live with my sister (19) and parents (67F and 63M) due to financial circumstances (that usamerican economy, eh?). The things described with my parents have been going on since I was in pampers.

My parents fight all the time. Over little things. In nasty, insulting the person and belittling them types of ways. Everything my mom does that my dad doesn't fully agree with or think she's doing exactly how it should be done, he yells at her for it and things become a screaming match. Sometimes my mom just stops talking, or just responds "Okay." until my dad tires himself out or gets so frustrated that he drops the argument. And she'll do similar things to him.

I've talked to them both one-on-one before about how aggressive and explosive they are during arguments. I've tried to impress upon both of them that personal insults don't make people change. Problems need cooperative solutions, where both parties are working towards the goal, whether that's dinner at a certain time or laundry at a certain frequency.

My dad justifies himself because my mom is just too difficult to deal with, and doesn't listen no matter how much he tries to tell her about an issue (his words. Not reality in my eyes, because he's never *telling* her an issue, he's *yelling* an issue at her). He's under the impression his demands for her to change are cooperative and equally-involved.

My mom doesn't tend to comment on her behavior beyond "I know. I get frustrated, but I know" or some excuse or another for my dad's behavior (her go to is "But I don't want to hurt the child in his heart anymore than his childhood has". In my eyes, not her responsibility to heal my grandma's neglectful, piss-poor parenting, especially when my dad has no interest in therapy of any kind). She doesn't think cooperation is possible with my dad, and doesn't want to start that conversation. In her words, it could end in a fight, or he just won't do his half of the work, so she might as well do the full task and save herself the frustration.

This, again, has been going on since before I could wobble on my own two feet. I don't think either are going to change. I hate seeing my mom roll over, especially because having grown up with this *I thought it was normal for a relationship to be so mean.* I had to put in a lot of work and experience a lot of difficult lessons to unlearn that. And I hate seeing my dad so frustrated to the point of blowing his fuse over mundane topics like dishes and parking spots. I worry about his health, and his happiness. I worry about both of their happinesses. I hate the pettiness. I hate the disrespect and the refusal to hear each other out.

The breaking point was today, when during an argument my dad started berating my mom over leaving the shower towels out too long. Yes, the towels were starting to ripen. But he started saying (yelling. I could hear him from upstairs, door closed) that as a mother she should know better than to let towels, especially towels that go on your face and hands and stuff, grow bacteria, and that she's disgraceful for not changing the towels daily. (Towels that, mind y'all, he ALSO could be changing daily, since one of those two towels is "his" shower towel).

I've been at the end of my rope for years. Yes one option is just beg a friend to let me rent a room off one of them and try to make ends meet, but that still leaves my sister stuck in this mess, and now stuck in it alone. I'm not keen on doing that. So. Would I be the asshole if I told my parents I think it's time to seriously consider divorce? Or hell, is there another option?

What are these acronyms?

[sacred-coffin]

Rubbing my grubby little hands together. It's time to bipolar Terzo.

And, one thing for the record, I'm bipolar! So I know what I'm talking about and I'm projecting a little and that's valid

I tried to rewrite my bullet points from my google doc to sound... nicer and more professional, but it didn't feel right. So y'all are getting the raw unfiltered version from when I infodumped about this in a discord chat, hope you like it :)

ONE . He has big overarching aspirations, but also mad depressive episodes. These get in the way of him completing his goals and also make things fuzzy along the way.

He's got this big city, big social change, all of these huge goals and life paths he wants to follow. And there are times where he's really set and driven on working on it! Especially when people are egging him on, like when he was a cardinal. I imagine he had a lot of sustained manic or hypomanic episodes while he was a cardinal.

Being very dead set on a goal, possibly losing sleep over it, putting all of your time and effort on it...Also however you want to interpret the cream pies comment (sexual or food) it both lines up with something a manic person would do. SO.

I think once he's in the ministry again / papa his depressive episodes started getting harder & his manic episodes more. Erratic.

He had less people pushing & supporting him towards his goals / what he was really passionate about, so he was just . Really bitter and pulled away from people. You see a lot more of his irritable and generally temperamental side come out during this time bc like. When he has manic episodes he has so much energy to use up but nowhere for it to go! Sometimes being really angry with something can trigger a manic episode, and I think he might be prone to doing things really excessive/extreme all of a sudden to spite people. If that makes sense. Like the decision to ditch the papa robes, things like that.

Also iirc, when he was a cardinal he was really over indulgent. That is very common for manic episodes; it's very common to  develop substance abuse issues as well. I think he could be a borderline alcoholic, but he's pretty good at hiding it. Definitely better at hiding it than when he was younger, but the habit is worse when he's older

I kinda wanna talk about Terzo possibly being like, a pretty angry person. And this is definitely projection LMAO. He very much presents himself as a guy who probably doesn't have angry outbursts and such, but I think that. Well. If he's bipolar that is NOT true ok. When I thought about this the first time I was like "would he punch walls? No. His mom raised him better than that. But God does he want to break stuff"

I feel like part of his reclusiveness is to keep up this image he has to everyone-- you can't judge him or form an opinion of him in his off time if you don't see it. So you don't see him getting drunk, you don't see him being depressed, you don't see him getting mad, but god it is happening all the time

I just feel like, like, you could argue he has this sudden shift in personality at a certain point. Or maybe at multiple points. In regards to how he felt about his goals at least. Esp bc I resonate so hard with the thought that he didn't want to be the machine-man (from Metropolis, 1927), but he had to, and I feel like being bipolar explains that so so well. Facing adversity he'd get so pissed about it, but he would only let that stop him for a little bit. But he'd also wouldn't be able to make the kind of progress he did before (like drawing up blueprints or plans) because he doesn't have that same well of outside energy & support to tap into

God also. He is so delusional. He is so so so delusional.

I think being Papa ruined his mind .

No offense but like. His goals are impossible. He's chasing them so hard anyways. He's insane. Like. Like.

I don't know I can only compare this in my mind rn to my mom looking at me when I was like, 5 years old or something and telling me she was going to become an archeologist and move to Egypt. Like she was so so sure of herself that it was going to happen. Obviously it fuckin didn't,

Also also. I feel like he's not diagnosed bc I feel like it's more likely to be missed in men. Also I want to give him migraines even though it's less common in men but slightly more common with people who are bipolar and also bc it is GENUINE projection but I think the idea of Omega walking in and seeing Terzo hidden in a bundle of blankets with all the lights off like "is this a depression cocoon or a migraine cocoon" and Terzo just kinda shifts the blanket around and you see him wearing this funny as fuck eye mask. And Omega is like "migraine cocoon, got it" and just fucking leaves

Did he shave his head once and regret it? Yes. Did he get addicted to cocaine? Probably. Did he spend all of his money on model city pieces? At least twice.

I think in the end it's entirely possible he bought into everyone's ideas that maybe he is the one who should be worshiped

I feel like a lot of manic episodes & things can be so warped by the people you surround yourself with and like. Idk. Being the face of a devil worshiping cult can give a normal guy a God complex.

But a guy who's already prone to delusion and God complex??? Oh honey he's FUCKED.

[maladaptivedaydr3amer]

Any specific Barty headcanons (my disposable bug-eyed son)??

YOU DO KNOW HOW LONG IVE BEEN WAITING SOMEONE TO ASK ME THIS!!

(I’ve recently just written all of my Barty Crouch Jr headcanons in my notes app; I will warn you there is a lot)

Barty Crouch Jr headcanons.

- (1)Insanely smart

- (2)Really messy blonde hair(you just can’t tame it, and it pisses off Barty Sr. So much)

- (3)He has a mouth like a sailor(meaning he’s always swearing; gets it from his mom)

- (4)Very skinny because one of his dads many punishments is not giving him food

- (5)A mommy’s boy because his mom was always there(but he kind of also has mommy issues, idk it’s just really complicated)

- (6)type of kid that was never able to leave the house(for real the reason why he is so pale)

- (7)hates alcohol, weed and cigarettes with a burning passion

- (8)insomniac(he stays up way to late studying half the time)

- (9)A Ravenclaw

- (10)his bestfriend is Pandora; they both complete opposites because barty is very uptight and pandora is very care-free

- (11)His biggest free is too be like his father

- (12)had a stutter when he was younger(like 11-13)

- (13)He didn’t have any friends in first year and up until the middle of second year when Pandora was like your my friend now

- (14)favorite class is history of magic and charms

- (15)very fascinated with Evan when he first met him

- (16)he’s very opinionated, and does not like to be wrong

- (17)Photographic memory, if he sees something it is glued to his memory

- (18)So very many freckles, like too many

- (19)He comes off very confident and sure of himself, but not gonna lie he’s actually really insecure.

- (20)He actually did pull out a good chunk of his hair when he was studying for his owls

- (21)A prefect in his fifth and sixth years and was head-boy in his seventh year

- (22)loves quidditch but he would never play

- (23)Him and Regulus are academic rivals(their for real frenemies)

- (24)everyone knows about how shitty his relationship is with his father

- (25)When he got all 12 of his O.W.L, that was one of the only times in his life that his dad was proud of him

- (26)He has helicopter parents(his mom more than his dad but still)

- (27)Has dimples

- (28)He has abandonment issues, and social anxiety(oh how he hates ministry party’s but he still has to go to keep up appearances)

- (29)Very dark brown eyes

- (30)He’s actually really fucking weird like(Pandora and him are for real are you gonna match my freak)

- (31)He’s a pretty crier not gonna lie

- (32)Dark circles underneath his eyes

- (33)has some sort of personality disorder

- (34)He’s is the little spoon in the relationship.

- (35)him and Evan were for real made for each other(even though they are a bit toxic)

- (36)he was born like a 3 weeks early(his birthday is October 21rst)

- (37)He was most definitely in the slug club(even though he kinda of sucked at potions, he was only chosen because of who his father was)

- (38)He can be extremely manipulative at times and he is also a great actor(the reason why so many people thought he was innocent after his trial, and that skill has also gotten him out of so much trouble)

- (39)he can easily mask his emotions; anger, sadness, happiness etc.

- (40)He’s extremely clingy to people once they get close

- (41)He got way to close to the Lestranges for his own good after Evan died

- (42)When he gets a really bad letter from his dad he just completely shuts down

- (43)Barty actually had a pretty close relationship with his house-elf, Winky

- (44)He’s can speak so many different languages such as, gobbledegook(the goblin’s language), French, German, English etc.

- (45)Very complicated home-life

- (46)Barty fell first and fell very hard in the Rosekiller relationship

- (47)He will give you the most dirty look if he doesn’t agree with you

- (48)Severely touched starved, he always has to be touching Evan for his own sanity

- (49)His favorite color is a very specific color of blue.

- (50)Top of almost all of his classes(the only classes he’s not top in is divination and potions, which Pandora is the top in both; he kind of hates her for it)

- (51)5’7-5’8

- (52)He for real puts school and grades before his mental health.

- (53)he is very blunt and doesn’t really have filter, and has zero social skills(if you say something wrong or if you pronounce something wrong he will correct you ect.)

- (54)He purposely pisses off Evan half the time

- (55) he wants to be perfect but he’s so far from it

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 15

chapter 26: (check tags for triggers)

1. james’ stab wound will heal, but of course he’s gonna have to use a cane for the rest of his life. my poor darling. but also! CHARACTERS WITH DISABILITIES THAT WONT BE ERASED!!! HELL YEAH!

2. this nurse is pissing me off. sirius is asking if james and reg are gonna be okay, and all she can talk about it appearances and scars. not if they’ll be okay

3. sirius and reg are reunited. thank god. this is what the world needs

4. “"I love you. You're my brother; of course I love you. Always have, always will, and nothing—absolutely nothing in this world could ever change that, do you hear me? You're enough for me, and I love you. Never, never fucking doubt that."” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH reg needed to hear that so bad, and james needed to say it so bad

5. 😧😟 reg is vomitting blood. yikes. wow. that’s yikes. it’s not even HIS BLOOD that he’s vomiting. and i wanna know who’s blood filled that river. i want to know who was killed to make blood for that river

6. “”It's fine. I didn't even like this shirt.” (Sirius really liked this shirt.)” 😭😭

7. 😊 siblings! sirius wipes reg’s face, and reg threatens to vomit on him again

8. reg questioning if he actually made it out. that breaks both mine and sirius’ heart. “"I—I thought it made sense, because why would I have scars if I was dead?””

9. reg breaking down and sobbing to his brother. wow. i- wow

10. gosh, remus and sirius are already like a married couple. i love them

11. regulus would just wake up and ask for james. that hurts. in no way was my experience any where near as bad, but i know it must suck to wake up, calling for someone, and them not to be there. when i woke up from wisdom tooth surgery, i called out for my mom many times, and the nurses jsut told me to be quiet, and i can’t see her. i was so distressed that i cried. my pain is not anywhere like james or reg’s but i know that it sucks.

12. sobbing. reg needs to shower, but doesn’t want to get in the water. he’s scared of the water. like wow

13. god, james wakes up and starts fighting people. he never should have had to go through that.

14. james is begging to see regulus, and regulus begged to NOT see james. idk how zar could have hurt me any more, but here we are

15. james and sirius have matching scars! that’s horrific! but! they’re matching!

16. sirius’ words before james went into the arena. we get to know them. and it’s both healing to know the memory, but also hurts like a motherfucking truck

17. sirius asking for remus to kiss him! consent!

18. shit. remus realized he loved sirius. like. loved him. wolfstar better be granted happiness in this universe

19. authors end note: “you think regulus is unhinged? sirius is so, so much worse 😳”

chapter 27:

1. god, regulus needs to take a shower. he must STINK. but also, i do not blame him for not wanting to

2. i appreciate remus’ honestly. he will not dance around the point with reg, and honestly, that’s what he needs

3. oh my god. is remus gonna get reg to take a bath? honestly, if anyone could do it, it would be remus. nobody else could do it

4. remus sharing the petty hallow drama 😭😭

5. james and sirius friendship is all i need in this life

6. oh wow. sirius is hurt that james never told him about his crush on regulus. not that james likes regulus. i love when fics do that instead of sirius being angry

7. i love that it’s no issue for james and sirius to share a bed. they need comfort. they share. that’s that.

8. sirius not letting james have a drink cause he knows it’s a slippery slope >>>>>>

9. ✨remus lupin✨

10. 😧 reg but sirius as a reflex from the arena. and immediately apologized. he’s never hit sirius before. and wow. that-

11. sirius is admitting something he never even told james. that he accidentally hit effie. and 😧😧😧

12. AWWWW REMUS CALLED JAMES SWEETHEART

13. honorable mention for all pandora did in this chapter. she is a lifesaver, she is a queen, she is a goddess, and she deserves so much

[greenerteacups]

If there was one major plot element that you could change in the original canon what would it be?

The Marauders' deaths. With the exception of James, I don't think any of the Marauders die in a way that's narratively suitable — or, to be more particular, they die in a way suitable for a narrative I don't like very much. James is an acceptable (though, obviously, tragic) death to me because it completes his arc: he's an obnoxious, arrogant bully who grows into a selfless soldier on the side of the light, and lays down his life as a final gesture of abnegation. It's not Proust, but it's good, right? His death represents a symbolic triumph over Voldemort because it's something Voldemort would never do.

None of the others make the same kind of sense for their subplots. Sirius dies at the Ministry because Harry fucks up and lets his abandonment issues override his judgment, and while that's a compelling moment for Harry — whose hamartia is a trauma-forged combination of hot-headedness and desperate fear of losing people — it's not for Sirius. Sirius's problem in Book 5 is that he's emotionally stunted by his years of imprisonment and refuses to grow up, because he's clinging to the life he thinks — rightly — he should have gotten to have. This is made painfully clear in the Department of Mysteries, wherein some of his last words to Harry are "Nice one, James!" He refuses to treat Harry like the child he is, and he keeps acting like he's this fun-uncle type, blowing off rules and pissing off Mom (Molly), because that's the dynamic he should have had with Harry if Lily and James had lived. Sirius doesn't want to be Harry's guardian and role model. He wants a brother and a nephew, and he's trying to force Harry to be both, because he's all he has left of that family. His death doesn't tie any of those threads; they're left dangling. That's a valid narrative move — every death cuts a story short, and you can't give everybody an arc — but I loved Sirius. Giving Harry the "grieving loss of a parent" arc that was originally meant for Ron (Arthur was the original Big Death of the OOTP, in JKR's drafts) also means that Ron spends a lot of Book 6 without anything to do, whereas Harry goes through what's essentially a more intense version of the grieving-and-recovery arc he did after Cedric's death.

Remus, on the other hand, is just — first off, a Mess, I agree with so few of the choices made with Remus in the later books, but let's say he's deep in the trauma, the grieving, and whatever living among werewolves as a spy does for your mental health. So he gets into this will-they-won't-they with Tonks, gets married, tries to abandon pregnant wife, then goes back and gets to be with his wife and son for about half a year before dying, with said wife, in battle. Okay. So like:

I think the Remus Weirdness in Book 7 is actually an attempt to close a plot hole, which is that the Horcrux Hunt happens completely without adult supervision, despite the fact that there are lots of adults the Golden Trio could and should ask for help. Harry's insistence that he doesn't want to risk anyone's life except for Ron and Hermione's is, while understandable as a character move, utterly ridiculous, because the other Order members are risking their lives anyway. One of the biggest holes is Remus and Tonks, who are (a) both already targets for Voldemort because of who they are, and so have nothing to lose, but also (b) both care for Harry on a personal level, and would never accept his reasons for pushing them away. So Teddy Lupin is conceived in order to bench Tonks, who's safely out of commission while pregnant. But that leaves Remus, who probably in fact would have super complicated torn-loyalty feelings about the situation, and who is scarred and traumatized and probably has enough abandonment issues to try and walk out, but — in my view — never resolves any of those things. He doesn't suddenly realize that he loves Tonks and wants to be with her, or feel a sense of duty to his son; when Harry's justly furious at Remus abandoning his kid in Harry's name, Remus gets pissy about it and goes "well, if you don't want my help, fine," and leaves. Which is, again, fine, a character flaw, it's childish, he's allowed to be, and he is, in fact, similar to Sirius and James — but it left a bad taste in my mouth, because that's one of the last conversations we get with Remus, and it's such an impoverished vision of his bonds with others. It doesn't delve deeply into why he loves Tonks or Harry, or the substance of his conflict between them; like always with the Marauders, he just invokes James, and Harry throws James's name right back at him, and it ends there.

And then he dies, so that baby Teddy Lupin can be an orphan, and we can do a parallel to baby Harry Potter. Even though we don't see Teddy Lupin on the page ever, so we have no idea what that comparison means, or how their experiences compliment or contrast one another, or literally anything more substantive than the series beginning and ending on the same event. Which: great. Okay. To quote a Roger Ebert review that I think about, on average, once every thirty-six hours:

"J.K. Rowling has learned from better novels that authors sometimes create narrative parallels, but she has not learned why."

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Not Aware AU exactly but kinda tangential. I always toyed with this idea of "Kagami was transferred into Adrien's class when she joined the school."

This could be in S2, or be because Tomoe saw Adrien was attending school and she's got those later season machinations & sends Kagami to make sure he's not snagged by a gold digger.

(In the former case its just in S2, while in the latter it starts after Princess Fragrance.)

This was fine and fun at first, but Kagami is more willing to start shit with Chloe & much less patient with Adrien's continued softness.

Plus, Adrien can't really explain why he's fond of Chloe cos its a mixture between he can't imagine his life without her (Sibling coded) & stuff like, "She was there for me when mom disappeared & got me into school".

This leads to her at some point losing her patience and dragging both off to a classroom and basically saying "Either she needs to improve or you need to drop her, because this cannot go on."

You'd expect it to be a two on one but Adrien's efforts to play peacemaker lead to Kagami arguing with him as well.

Then when one of Chloe's major blows lands hard against Adrien, "Our parents harm more people every day than I do in a year and you still love them, hypocrites!"

It does nothing to Kagami, because she doesn't love her mother, she respects her, obeys her and fears her wrath but she doesn't love her even a little and she assumed Adrien was the same.

He is not the same & is in fact kind of defensive of his father at such a blatant rejection of one's own family and how uncomfortable it makes him.

It basically descends from there, cos I love slow burns but sometimes its just like, "Hmm what if they all started screaming their issues that they do not realize are issues at the top of their lungs?"

None of these kids know therapy talk so their languages on it is already going to be shit even before we remember literally not a one of them has much in the way of healthy communication or good social skills outside of formal events so:

So you have Chloe defending stuff like destroying Roses' letter because "That's how Mama handles it when I give her bad gifts, she's telling me to do better and one day I'll get it right!" As well as "Why would Papa want to see me when he doesn't need me for something? He's not a lunatic control freak like your parents."

Then you have Adrien defending stuff like, "I know my dads cold and has impossible standards and barely lets me do anything I want but he is protective and just wants what's best for me!" & "My mom was always kind to me, she was perfect even if she never let me go out or have a birthday either!"

& Kagami defending Tomoe with, "It doesn't matter how I feel about Adrien, or my instructions, I act as I do because it is for the good of my family. My emotions, my life don't matter at all before that duty!"

So its just three incredibly fucked up abused kids steadily airing each others and their own families laundry list of abusive traits and experiences under the pretext of saying "No my family is normal & OK yours is the bad one" and "How dare you call 'that' bad, when your parent does this!"

(Also Chloe may think Gabriel killed Emilie or otherwise would rather have Adrien sealed in amber forever than as an actual living boy,)

With this continuing until it either gets physical or they basically collapse.

Meanwhile the class is just watching in mounting horror and disgust and discomfort. (Nino is likely especially pissed) Like even with Chloe it may not justify her behavior but it puts so much of it in a new deeply messed up context where it kind of makes sense she doesn't even know how to be nice.

To quote a friend of mine:

The rich kids have taken knives to each other. They've cut open their festering wounds. The rot is exposed, scrubbed raw. While they lie angry, bleeding, crying, and dying [inside], they have the opportunity to look upon themselves once more and apply new dressings.

I can see it, but unless Gabriel is ACTUALLY out of the country, all three get Akumatized. My thoughts are a weird mix Grimm Brothers Fairytales - Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel & Gretel, etc. Not in specific, but like. More fairytale tropes?

Adrien is the "Cinderella"-style. Rapunzel, Snow White-style, "One Day My Prince Will Come"-style. The type of character that has to sacrifice and sacrifice, and will eventually be rewarded. If he does one more photo shoot, one more public appearance, *scrubs one more floor*, his father will finally love him. He'll finally have the happy ending he wants. He just has to stick it out - cause his dad DOES love him, right? (As a possession, if at all.)

Chloé is more of the "Trials"-style. Complete this mission-style. Knit twelve sweaters from nettles, and your brothers will become human again. Find the right goose, and get set free. Defeat the evil witch, and the spell is broken. If Chloé tries hard enough, does and says the right things, her parents will love her, show her affection. She'll finally be worth something. (All of it performative and shallow, until they raise the bar to another impossible height. Always keeping her dependant on them.)

Kagami, weirdly, I see as more endurance, or contract style - like a flipped version of Adrien. She isn’t really trying to "change" her situation the way Chloé or Adrien are, (for value of "trying to change it", ie, playing along with their parents games because that’s all they know to do) she's accepted this is the way it is, and is simply trying to endure it. Go through the motions. Hold up your end of the bargain. Work within the bonds of your deal, to do as little harm as you can, while still fulfilling your end. One day, you'll be out. You'll be free. (As if her mother will ever set her free.)

[sarahdogoc80]

Lily is fetishizing Codependency and disabilities

So I watched a video on Lily story on Iris and Keira and skimmed the story it's self. It's so fucking gross. Something I don't think I've mentioned in this blog is my brother is autistic and has some kind of cognitive hearing issues that can only be fixed with an implant. He was also mute still he was 5. So I feel I have a little bit of knowledge I can spread.

First thing I want to talk about is something that generally pissed me off. It was how as children their so called doctor handled their translation thing. Because funny thing I had to do that for my brother because he was still having problems on structuring sentence and actually being able to say words correctly. As my parents didn't get him the implant so he just doesn't hear like the rest of us. And this effected his speech significantly because of his issues. So because I was the one consiently working with my brother (my mom had sent him to a special school from age 2-6 at which point he was ready to start public school. But he also had teachers helping him) on his speech and trying to get him to talk. We had a close sibling relationship and I could understand him best both my mom and his school confirmed this. So I would have to translate for him as he usually only said one word (like Max from Max and Ruby).

An example due to him not being able to say a lot of the word he went up to my mom and said cookie. So my mom thought he wanted a cookie. But when she tired to give him an oreo he backed up and said no. Then said cookie (thought it came out more as Okie) again so my mom calls me in and my brother says cookie. So I asked if that's what he wanted he shook his head then said "ear airl" . He was trying to say cereal then pointed that the TV. Then I remember a commercial had come on for that cookie cereal I forgot what it's called but it has a wolf mascot. So I figured out that's what he was asking for. So told my mom. When I figured it out and told our mom he clapped and said yeah yeah. So he could understand us he just couldn't communicate. Due to his hearing issues he just doesn't hear words like us and no matter how much speech therapy our stupid school tries to put him into it was never going to help when he just can't hear like us. You can say "rain water" all you want but all he'll ever hear without the implant is "ain otter." He has been infantlized for this problem and our step mom thought he was stupid just because of his hearing cognitive issues causing him to talk differently. While the autism does effect some of his learning he is capable of understanding shit like automation class which fun fact is something he thought he wanted to do till he switched class to be a paramedic. Honestly if he wasn't in such a horrible home environment and our life wasn't hell at that time I do believe he could have been a paramedic. We just didn't handle our crumbling home life the best because we are both autistic and without surpost just crumbled. So as of now he is just refusing to get therapy thus he is stuck in a depression. But I do talk to him, he still wants to go back to school to be a paramedic he just lost his drive...

Back to how the school handled this translation relationship be and my brother had. The school brought me in and pulled me aside and explained to me why we needed my brother to not rely on me for his communication. As at the time as an 8 year old I told the school I was fine being his translator. But for obvious reasons they realized one they needed me to help him in his steps to become independent. And two they wanted to explain to me why this was for he best. So because Lily is stupid I will tell you what the school told me as an 8 year old girl. They started off by asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I don't remember my awnser but not important. They then asked well what if your brother wants to do something different. I then said we can use a phone. They then asked what about when I'm school or what if he can't get a hold of me and it's an emergency. I then went quite. They then said see he needs to be able to communicate without you. They said I know you love your brother but it's not healthy for him or me if he needs to rely on me like this. They said I was a good big sister for helping him. Then said they needed me as part of their plan to help him though. I said okay. So they told me when I'm translating insed of me just saying what he said. Tell my brother what he's trying to say and encourage him to try and say it. They told me to keep it short and sweet and make longer sentences as he got better. So that's what I did. An example if he is asking for a cookie I told my brother to say "mom can I have a cookie?" And at the beginning it was rough and mostly incomprehensible. But with encouragement and me gently corrected him he eventually caught on on how to form sentences and get better with his speech. Now Lily's character I think is supposed to be incapable of speaking. So I understand this plan wouldn't help. But like no doctor would just be like yeah this Codependency is healthy and good.

Another thing I want to talk about is how Lily seems to only use the beating kids into speaking as a way to justify her character to belittle the parents and make her seem "moral superior". And while yes belittle them but my dad wanted to take at approach and I'm the one who had to step in and stop him. I know Lily doesn't have a protective bone in her body but this is also a criticism in these siblings fake feelings relationship and what actually sibling love is. One night when my dad was watching us he came in pissed off and asked a question. My brother just started babbling his word of the day which was monster trucks. My dad got pissed off and said stop saying monster truck and awnser the question. My brother turned to me and he starting babbling and I couldn't make out what he was saying probably because he was scared. So my dad grabs my 5 year old brother face and makes him look at him. And my brother clearly said let go. He started crying and my dad started screaming I told my dad to stop. But he didn't. My brother started sighing which is something he hadn't done for weeks at that point. And because neither me or my dad knew sigh language my dad didn't know what he was doing/ trying to say. So he grabbed his hands and said use his words. My brother with his free hand started smacking my dads hand to get him to let go. I was frozen in fear as I was terrified of my dad. He does let go and takes of his belt and waves it in his face asking his dumb questions again and my brother was just crying at this point. I saw him raise that belt and without hesitation I jumped throwing myself over my brother with my body and the metal part of the belt made contact with my hand and split open my hand and blood started running down my hand. My brother and me started screaming bloody murder. I thought my hand was broken (it wasn't) but the blood was getting everything. My dad backed up and with every bit of courage I had. I got off that couch and pushed him though it didn't do much. And yelled I will tell mom and the school that he hit me with the belt and split my hand open if he didn't leave use alone. My dad just stormed in to the bedroom and slammed the door. I grab my crying brother with my good hand and ran into the bathroom. He has blood on his shirt so I changed his shirt and I tired patching up my hand. My mom came home at some point and started banging on the bathroom door. I let her in and my brother runs into her arms crying. My mom seeing the blood and my shoty patch job as I was 8 and didn't know what the fuck I was doing. She patches it up and cleans it then asked what happened. My dad heard my mom and came out the bedroom (which was right next to the bathroom) and my brother started screaming again. But as part of the deal I felt I made I lied for his ass and said I hit it on the corner of the table. I looked at my dad and he just nodded and walked away. He never tried to hit my brother because of his special needs again.

But hey I get it Lily you don't have a protective bone in your body you just abused your sister. Your little sister who looked up to you. You took advantage of that and hurt her in the most reprehensible ways and try to claim her trauma as your own. If that story is what you think a good sibling relationship should be your fucked in the head. It's clear you don't understand how to be a good sister by your writing and your creepy incent shit is loud and clear. I love my brother like a brother and not like a boyfriend. He was the only family member I felt I had that gave a shit about me as I was dying of cancer, he's the only family I had that didn't try and distance themselves from me as I was dying. Granted he was a baby but that's the best part. It was unconditional love. I know you want that so bad and you will never have that because of how horrible you are and self centered. My brother also loved me as his sister. One time he shoved our mother (he was always a Mama's boy) when she pinned me again the counter to get a tick out of my hair. I didn't realize what she was doing and started screaming to stop because I was having a PTSD flashback and didn't know what she was doing. He may have only been 6 years old but when I was screaming for help and trying to get away he shoved himself on our mother's leg to get her away. Once I calmed down everything was okay. But in that moment we're I was scared and screaming for help. My brother also defended me against our own mother. Once our life got bad my brother always knew he had me and I always had him. And dispite all this me and my brother still managed to have a healthy relationship and set boundaries and understand each other. I never once looked at my brother like your characters do. He is MY BROTHER and I am HIS SISTER. We weren't replacements for each other partner, or parent, or whatever.

I want to sort out my feelings on other problems I have with her gross writing. But I will be back with more criticisms. I'm working on talking about how gross it is Lily thinks the only reason parents might want their child to speak is ablism while that it a huge reason I want to explain why I wanted my brother to talk and why it was so devastating to think i wouldn't be able to.

[khaopybara]

Ok I have written and rewritten this trying to get all my thoughts together about affair so l apologize if im all over the place.

I am glad that wan ran away and im actually having second thoughts about wanting them to be together. One part of me understands and accepts that pleng has been slower at realizing her own feeling for wan (it happens) while wan has been all in since they were kids. The other half of me wants to slap pleng and shout at her "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE ONE FOOT OUT THE DOOR, CANT YOU SEE HOW MUCH WAN LOVES YOU!?!?" THIS WOMAN MARRIED A GUY SHE DIDNT EVEN LOVE TO KEEP HER PROMISE TO PLENG AND HAD HOPED THAT PLENG WOULD SEE THEIR WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT!!! Admittedly a little extreme but I guess that's love!

During the entirety of pleng reading wans letter I was like "mhm yep" "so right" "exactly!" Wan said it all perfectly imo.

I feel like wan should only accept her back and forgive her if she agrees to go to both individual and couples therapy.

(also that tattoo shop was as busy as deane's 😆)

-🤫

In a similar manner, I've also written and rewritten this lol but I've been having so many feelings about WanPleng and Affair for the past couple of weeks, like seriously. And mind you, I will make no sense in this post. I'll sound like an hypocrite at times, but trust the process.

There was not even one character in Affair that didn't piss me off at some point.

Pleng pushes the protagonist privilege with me the most, and Wan has probably annoyed me the least.

But also, gotta give credit where credit is due (I suppose). The name of the show is Affair, so from the very beginning, I assumed they'd be problematic and not your usual GL sweet protagonists. I did expect it to be a more problematic-together thing, though, as in them actually being part of the affair (I could go on a full rant about Eek, but I'll stop myself), but instead, we got emotionally immature and stagnant former rich kid Pleng running away from every single one of her problems and coming up with solutions (that involve Wan) completely by herself without consulting anyone first. And it's not exactly an insecurity thing she developed for losing both of her parents + her wealth. She has done that since they were kids. It feels like an entitlement she has over Wan's life from day one.

On the other hand, we got overachiever Plengpleasing Wan who has tricked an already emotionally constipated and loveless Eek into dating and marrying her just bc Pleng told her to do it. She has always made her intentions so clear to Pleng, but I also wish she had used her words more, especially after they became adults.

They both need so much therapy and counselling, because if they stay together, it'll only be because they have this wrong notion that they are only able to love each other in this lifetime. And it's an insecure love, because in that letter, you can hear how much resentment she still has for Pleng leaving.

And mind you, I say this with love! They are extremely unhealthy to each other, and Wan's mom is kind of right when she says Pleng clouds Wan's perspective. They love each other unhealthily and at this point, they both deserve each other (and it's not like their options are good with a bunch of dudes who are all pain the asses. I'm not even kidding, not even one of them if a good fit. I didn't even remember who that Frank guy was and then remembered he's the one in the bike who I thought wanted Pleng first and then saw that Wan became a pretty teenager!!! And decided to switch his attentions to her instead.)

Anyway. I love them, and I hope they learn the magic of words and therapy and solve their issues. (Maybe they should get a therapist to every character, too.) Or maybe not. Stay unhealthy girls, but be unhealthy to others and not each other, alright?

[fanfictionroxs]

My little thoughts and feelings about each character in Only Friends (post ep7):

Boston - Love him. This guy is single handedly responsible for the drama and glee and joy I get from this show. Of course there are other factors, but ugh Boston what a great guy! Hope he records more of his friends kissing and causes havok and gets more beatings by Mew in swimming pools. Hilarious!

Nick - Pathetic little menace lol. He has a cute vulnerable face that is so damn adorable that I get even Boston falling for it. Complete traitor though. Responsible for all the problems in his love life though he likes to pretend otherwise. I hope Sand fucks him and calms him down. Boston couldn't do it.. maybe Sand can.

Top - Mr. Top tier playboy, whose fame I don't buy because if you don't care for your partner's pleasure, who the FUCK would recommend you LMAO! Anyway, he is actually a fucking romantic at heart with top tier date ideas. This man just needs someone to househusband him and fuck him nice and proper and Mew is just the person for it. But since Mr. Idiot fucked up things big time, who knows if they will even end up together?

Ray - Thailand's gay Devdas. If you don't know who that is, shame on you! Anyway, I have feelings of extreme fury towards him while also wanting to yeet him into rehab asap because this child is not crossing 25 otherwise. Needs to get his behaviour in fucking order and needs to treat Sand better or else I'm jumping in that show to beat him up like Mew jumped in the pool to beat Boston. Also, he's super hot and I totally get Sand, but I would still kick his ass to the curb. But I kind of want to cry at his beauty, bl drama gods have mercy!

Mew - MY SON! I have adored him in his calm era and I adore him in his raging era. Such a self-aware king. Vengeful as FUCK! Calm like the ocean, but if you piss him off.. well be ready for a fucking tsunami. I hope by the end of the show, he is able to find a balance between both sides of his because there is as much strength in being kind as there is in being cunning and sharp. And together, these traits make for a lethal combo! I'm fine whether he takes back Top or not. I just want him happy by the end with that honor student batch and sipping some nice mock-tails with his moms.

Sand - MY SON! Will definitely become Thailand's pansexual/bisexual Taylor Swift with the amount of banger songs he is going to make after all this drama. A self-aware king much like Mew, though I think he has more issues poor boy. I wish he loves himself more and dumps Ray's ass lol (I say that while my RaySand heart cries like a little bitch). Anyway, he is single-handedly responsible for feeding my angsty fanfiction heart. Heartbreak makes him look SO pretty, no wonder Ray keeps doing that to him (I'm a horrible person dont kill me please!). BUTT! I want a happy ending for him whether it's with Ray or not. Also, I need someone to attic husband him (hint hint RAY nudge nudge though in my fanfic Top does it hehe) and take care of him because this man cares for everyone, BUT NO ONE DOES IT FOR HIM! WHERE'S THE LOVING FOR MY LOVEY DOVEY BABY?!

Well that's all folks! Can't wait for ep8 to cry some more!

[askbensolo]

Sorry I haven’t posted much this week. It’s been a liiittle crazy. I gave both Armitage and Poe tours of the apartment this week (Armitage on Monday, Poe yesterday).

I thought I hated them when I was just messaging them. Oh, buddy, I had no idea.

Let’s start with Armitage. Listen: my mother raised me right. I tried to be nice, even though every previous interaction I’d had with him had proven that he was not. I opened the door and put on a smile and said, “Hey!” Bro looks past me and sees my holopad propped up on the dining table, where I’d been watching the livestream of the Senate hearing on arms control on Coruscant. Unfortunately, it was paused right on a close-up of my mom.

This dude cannot be normal. Imagine. You walk into a stranger’s home, see an image of a senator you’re maybe not so fond of, and go “Tch. Senator Organa… I’m convinced she was only voted in out of pity. Everyone loves the Alderaanian princess, but she’s really rather far from qualified.”

What.

I was so pissed I almost couldn’t talk. “What the—wh—why do you think she’s not qualified?! She has years of political experience, and she fought on the ground. She’s done so much volunteer and charity work, and she actually understands the issues she talks about on the floor, and—”

Armitage looked taken aback, but also like he was scrutinizing me. I shut my mouth.

“…What did you say your last name was?” he asked suspiciously, his tone clipped.

‘Cause, see, when I’m first meeting someone, I don’t usually tell them who I am am. I’m just Ben. I like being my own person. And then maybe after they pass the vibe check I can be like, “oh, yeah, I’m Ben Solo, but I’m also just a chill dude, please treat me normal haha.” But, yeah—that’s why Armitage didn’t know who I was.

You know when you’re talking to a stranger and you’re like, “Oh. No. We are not getting into this, because I’m never gonna see you again”? That was me in that moment. I was like, yeah, there’s no way I’m rooming with this snooty bag of tauntaun flatulence for a year.

“Quadinaros,” I said. It was the first name I thought of. I hoped Armitage didn’t know his podracers.

He looked like he wasn’t buying it.

“Well, what’s your last name?” I blurted in a stupid retort. Like a “your mom” kind of thing. Usually, that doesn’t work. Surprisingly, it caught him off guard.

“…Arkanis,” he replied, with less confidence than one would usually declare his own name with.

Whatever.

I showed him the apartment like I promised (and believe me, the comment about my mom was not the last rude thing he said while he was there), but in my head I knew I was picking Poe.

That is…until yesterday, when I had Poe over to tour.

I was actually genuinely excited to greet Poe at the door, because he was my ticket to not rooming with Armitage…but the smile melted right off my face when I beheld the sight before me.

This guy is. De-kriffing-ranged.

You know those, like, baby holders you buckle onto your chest? Well, get this. Homie was wearing one of those…but his BB droid was in it. And those models are hefty. They may be all round, and relatively small compared to your average R2 unit, but they’re still like…I don’t know, the height of your knee? And made of metal, obviously.

My jaw dropped at the sight of this absolute madman. I just stood there staring at him.

“So, uh.” Poe cleared his throat, as if he didn’t have forty pounds of droid buckled to his body. “Who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?”

I snapped out of it. “Sorry. Uh. Here. Come in.”

Once inside, he put his droid down on the floor, and I was reminded that choosing Poe meant also getting a pet, basically. “Weeeeoooooo!” said the BB unit, and started rolling all over the place.

Forty pounds of droid rolled over my foot. “Ow!”

“Sorry!” said Poe. “He’s just a little excitable. Aren’t ya, buddy?”

So I gave them the tour. And I really don’t have the energy to recount that endeavor, so here’s a list of some (just some) of Poe’s demands:

the droid’s charging dock needs to be in our bedroom near the window, even though the window is on my side of the bedroom

we need to put down rubber mats over the carpet so it’s easier for the droid to roll around

we need to ask management to install an accessibility ramp at the doorstep so the droid can roll in and out

it would be great if I could play with the droid when Poe’s not around, since the droid needs daily stimulation

After a while I kind of stopped listening. I thought to myself, Is this real life? Are astromechs not just flight navigation equipment? Is this would-be pilot who doesn’t even own a starship asking me to play with his droid like it’s his son?

I couldn’t have been more relieved to finally show Poe and his droid out the door. And then I ran into my room and flopped on my bed face-down and screamed into the mattress.

If only it wasn’t so late into the year. It’s impossible to find roommates right now. I’m lucky to have two options, as horrible as both options are.

I almost thought about moving back in with Mom and Dad. But…then I thought about my job, and Wednesday nights at the cantina with the guys, and quiet Sunday walks along the lake, and lazy Saturday museum-crawls with my ink pen and paper notebook…compared to how living at home just transforms me back into a sixteen-year-old, and I was like…no. No. I’m not leaving Naboo.

Anyway…so that’s my week. At least Fannie’s coming over tomorrow and I can temporarily forget next year’s gonna be hell.