#it all feels so ..... shallow.
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dykedvonte Ā· 20 days ago
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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sakuraluck Ā· 7 months ago
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when i said i wanted to understand whateverā€™s going on in ivanā€™s head, i didnā€™t mean like this šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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ghostlycleric Ā· 5 months ago
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Iā€™m pretty sure Mike and El are the only couple in the show that donā€™t have shared interests.
Lucas and Max: Arcade games
Dustin and Suzie: Science/Technology
Jonathan and Nancy: Documenting life (Through Photography/Journalism)
Joyce and Hopper: Investigation (Hop was a cop, Joyce is Joyce) +caring for their kids
Mike and El are never given any interest that they both have and do together. Their relationship isnā€™t even given much volume beyond their trauma bonding. They actually went out of their way to have El dismissing Mikeā€™s interests and only have El gain her own when sheā€™s away from Mike.
With every other couple we have scenes of their shared interests adding to their relationship. Scenes that prove that their dynamic is rooted in a real, not-purely-physical connection.
There is one other couple who didnā€™t have shared interestsā€¦ (*cough* Steve and Nancy *cough* who are broken up *cough*).
Mike and Will by default have a lot of shared interests. Theyā€™d be the only best friends to lovers in the show (which is actually crazy in a show with so many couples and friendships). DnD, despite being the root of the party itself, is specifically tied to these two in an interesting way. Theyā€™ve used dnd a few times as text above a more romantic subtext, which I feel like deserves its own post.
(I feel like itā€™s worth noting that technically they have Art (writing and painting), but Mikeā€™s interest in writing has never been specifically confirmed in the show, so Iā€™m not counting that.)
Iā€™d be really interested in seeing canon byler having an isolated interest in season 5 that goes beyond subtext. Even if itā€™s still dnd, just isolated.
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faaun Ā· 7 months ago
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points šŸ˜­ maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl šŸ˜­#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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thebestpartofwakingup Ā· 5 months ago
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When you realize a seemingly obvious candidate for cartoon nostalgia time skip fan art from your childhood is completely untapped online...
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bixels Ā· 5 months ago
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes ā€œahh you're like my knight in shining armor!ā€#and pharah goes ā€œthat's what i'm goin for ;)ā€ and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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heartinhyacinth Ā· 4 months ago
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I care.
But do I care like Xie Lian cares for the common peopleā€”care as an action, a verb?
I love.
But do I love like Hua Cheng loves Xie Lianā€”love as an action, a verb?
Xie Lian teaches me kindness and compassion. He reminds me to be considerate, selfless, and merciful. In tough situations, especially those concerning people I donā€™t love, I ask myself what he would do and if this is how he would handle it. If the answer is no, neverā€¦I try to do better.
Hua Cheng teaches me love. He reminds me to be present, patient, respectful, and gentle. In tough situations with those I love, such as moments of impatience or frustration, I ask myself what he would do and if this is how he would treat Xie Lian. If the answer is no, neverā€¦I try to do better.
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waitineedaname Ā· 1 year ago
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when thinking about scar and mei's dynamic, I love thinking about why he becomes so attached to her. it's not just a parental instinct, it's specifically identifying with her struggles. the chang clan is small and has little political power compared to the more dominant clans in xing, and it's a struggle just to survive. even though it's not exactly the same, there's this feeling of solidarity between scar and mei because they're both disenfranchised within their respective countries. the sympathy mei describes when she found xiao-mei is what scar feels towards mei, seeing something of themselves in the other and taking pity on them
and there's this other element to him helping her find xiao-mei, and I might be misremembering, but I'm fairly certain it's the first deviation from his revenge based quest. so far, every time we've seen him, he's either been attacking state alchemists, going somewhere to find a state alchemist, or recovering from his injuries. he is very driven when it comes to his goals, but he sees this little girl crying because she is all alone in a foreign country on a desperate quest to save her people and she's just lost the only family she has with her, and he decides to help her. he didn't have to do that, he could have just ignored her or insisted on moving on, but he is not heartless or cruel, he is a compassionate person underneath all the pain, so he goes out of his way to help this little girl find her panda
no wonder mei is constantly reiterating to other people that scar is a good person
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bunnihearted Ā· 2 months ago
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being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me
#irl mostly. but even online. i cannot connect or find communities or support systems the way most of u can#even if i do have found great connections and one connection in particular im more than grateful for#but i have had so much of my humanness torn off for so long that i am awkward and useless in handling it#but yeah idk :/ im just so profoundly jealous of how everyone can just fit into a slot#even online when ppl talk abt being anxious and stuff they still have ppl to talk to#or ppl irl to hang out with and im like.. wow... i cant even do that :/#it is just so lonely in general. and it has made me confused and incapable of knowing how to be a human#and fully realise and actualize the one connection i do have#if i had gotten to learn and now know how to be a human and a person i would've... been a person#but now i feel so removed and far away from that idek how...#like im at a point where i cant even have simple and shallow conversations online bc im like so useless#maybe only other ppl with avpd and who have been socially rejected and isolated and alienated can fully understand what i mean#it is so scary and weird and i feel such deep envy for how people can just like... talk to eo. irl and online. i dont get it#and like the connection i do have that i mention bc it is so important to me.. that does all of those things#but it is like im so not used to anyone even keep wanting to have a connection with me#that i feel like bambi on ice šŸ’€ for lack of a better metaphor#and inside of me idk how to dare to open up to it bc i've been numb and shut off i just dont know#i dont know. but i want to but idk how.#ahhhhhh wanna scream bc just trying to describe it so i can make sense of it is frustrating!!!!#it also sucks bc other ppl really dont seem to get how fkn weird and scary it is to feel so removed from humanness#and not even be able to do most basic human people things most ppl who are mentally ill or anxious do.. i cant even do that idk#talking and communicating is the main thing like ppl do not understand how fkn hard it is for me to even have a simple convo#and i cant explain it bc theres no way someone who doesnt feel the same and have avpd could get it...#but idk. i just hate all of this and i wish i had a normal functioning brain. i just wanna be like everyone else#even ppl w social anxiety are capable of having friends. and im terrified of losing the only connection i've somehow been lucky to get#in my hands??? im so scared of losing that but idk HOW to be a person and idk!!! idk!!#other ppl dont even think abt these things im so fkn jealous lmao#anyway whatever šŸ˜”
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pleasedontcareaboutme Ā· 1 month ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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appendectomy Ā· 1 month ago
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I jest about loumand failmarriage but I do actually really appreciate that amc iwtv gave them some genuinely sweet and romantic scenes that make you understand why they were drawn to eachother. lesser shows wouldve treated this pairing as an obstacle to loustat and made it shallow and demonised armand especially bc of this, not giving him or louis an ounce of compelling history to make sure the audience never strays from the loustat 'endgame'. instead, the iwtv writers treated both parties in that relationship with nuance and used it as an opportunity to expand upon their characters which I really really appreciate. they let you find substance and interest in all the relationships in the show, not just the ones that are intended to be the 'final' pairings.
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dykedvonte Ā· 18 days ago
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The second fic idea is a what-if scenerio where Jimmy dies in the crash due to and altercation with Curly and how Curly would navigate being Captain once he has to notice the little things and how he and Anya's relationship develop as he adopts an identical view point to hers rather than just keeping the peace.
And maybe i will write it but only time will tell tbh but it's stuck in my brain dome for the time being.
#cause even if it got to Curly snapping and killing Jimmy for the sakes of the crew would you not have that guilt in being responsible for#anothers death espcially with all the responsibility on his shoulder and how he realizes he tried to be reponsible for things and made them#worse like the guilt drives Jimmy insane even if he doesnt admit like imagine Curly who would care so much and wonder if it shouldve#been him not to mention Anya being free from Jimmy but still not his actions and having to navigate still being stuck with the pregnancy an#the shallow feeling because relief doesn't mean happiness like i think shed believe shed be happier that Jimmy cant get to her anymore but#what now that their stuck? That the Captain is faltering and they are stranded for like another 6 months? If they even make it that long?#Like he may be gone but all his damage is still there and thr wounds fresh like its such a good concept i just cant divide my attention lik#that as i am still in college and it is sadly midterms#anyway uhhhh I just really want to write a fic where Curly and Anya can have that hard conversation on how he handled Jimmy constructively#and without him looking like undercooked skirt steak like there would be those moments where it lingers between the monotiny of staying#alive but how would they even address it? what comes first the sorry or the list of why he should be? like Curly places a lot of value on#his use to others and its interesing and subtle and its mostly directed between Jimmy who steers it and Anya who rides along with it#like go the thoughts and ideas i have but not the fuckin time!!!!#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#also daisuke and swansea are there but like i still have to think of the reflections they have and how to play with their characters in thi#idea world but yeah I want Curly to make amends and Anya to rediscover her autonomy and living outside that fear.
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agueforts Ā· 12 days ago
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tlovm s3 finish got the entire dash on the first four stages of grief
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jewishsuperfam Ā· 26 days ago
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my annoyances with todays eps of tlovm s3 under the cut
i just. like. i wish tlovm would let vex and vax have actual conversations with each other like they did in campaign. i wish they'd let percy and vex bond over more things that they have in common instead of jumping straight into the friends with benefits thing. i wish keyleth was allowed to be silly and chaotic and participate in chaos shenanigans with everyone else. i wish they hadn't cut the keyleth/percy friendship. i wish the twins could be as openly affectionate as they were in the campaign.
but really i just. i wish vax had had even one real conversation with vex about her relationship with percy this season before the bath scene. bc so far we got: vax and percy fighting last season + vax blaming percy (but not really any conversations between vex+vax or vex+percy about it), and then vax and percy bumping into each other on their walk of shame, and then the hot tub scene. that's it.
like. i think vax was misguided in a lot of his conversations with vex about percy in the original campaign, but i also think that was In Character for him, and taking those out and having this be entirely be between him and percy and have him not express his doubts or worries to vex at all??? or even to have him encourage vex when she's hesitating, a la the "i'm not sure he even thinks of me that way" "i'm the dummy, why are you being such a dummy?" scene????
like. liam apparently was a writer on ep 6. i don't understand why it was so important that they work in the bathtub scene but not that they have vex and vax have even one real conversation about their feelings and relationships
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simcardiac-arrested Ā· 7 months ago
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do artists still hate it when people call their art cute or am i wrong to fear being crucified whenever i dare call someoneā€™s drawing cute in the tags
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onlineviolence Ā· 6 months ago
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stress relief
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