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kings-highway · 1 year ago

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I read Time Enough yesterday from start to finish (yes I had other things to do, no that did not stop me) and I am still thinking about it. I left a little comment but I wanted to say more. (Sorry if this is a bit incomprehensible, I'm Very tired)

Your angst is always written in such an immersive and impressive way, but this story in particular hit so strongly. I thought it was so well done. Everything Daichi did and felt was so believable. And the feelings of having to move through a life like that was absolutely heart breaking. The relationships were so believable and idk how to phrase it other than genuine? Realistic?

It was just such an intense and beautiful piece, and Daichi's journey/cycle of monotony to acting out to trying to find stability again was so well done and so relatable. I was right along with him at one point like "obviously he has to learn a lesson here, but come on he did! He's trying to live life more!" Only to realize at the end that he still really wasn't, not really, not in the way that really allowed him to appreciate it. It wasn't that he needed to appreciate life by acting more or less predictable, it's that he needed to learn to appreciate life by appreciating his own, by learning to take care of himself, by asking for help and letting others take care of him. I've read several of your stories now where this is a major theme for him and I was STILL too immersed in his mindset to see it right away! That's very good writing imo <3

If you want to answer (ik some people don't like explaining story choices and that's fine too! I have my theories) what moment in that last day was it that broke the loop? Or was there no one moment, but just the process of the day itself and those leading up to it that did it?

First, thank you so much for leaving such a lovely and sincere ask in my inbox. You've got my giggling and kicking my feet like a child on christmas. It means so much that someone like you is reading and appreciating my work 🤍🤍

Second, I dont mind answering at all! I know a few others had speculated regarding the circumstances of the time loop so I can definitely share my decision making process

[Spoilers for literally nearly every chapter of Time Enough below, if you havent read it yet.]

And the answer is... Nothing.

Though that doesnt mean it wasnt intentional on my part, that nothingness means something to me.

The logic of the time loop is simply "sometimes time gets stuck in a loop, and unfortunately this time Daichi is aware of it." There is no real reason why it breaks on that specific day that it does, it could have just as easily broken the day before or the day after or in twelve years.

While I played around with the idea of Daichi having to "break" it in some way, there was no version of that that didnt position someone in his life as more important than another, or incite further questions about the universe. (although it does make me giggle imagining if the second half took a sharp left turn into Daichi and Oikawa hunting and fighting aliens.)

You could read this story as a metaphor for depression or burnout, optionally.

The truth is, every choice Daichi made always mattered. Each day did not come with definitive evidence that it would loop again into the next, it just coincidentally did for approximately two years. As suddenly and jarringly as it breaks in the 11th chapter, that could have been any chapter. Thats why so many end with the 00:00 moment, because it wasn't a given and it was important to mention. What would have happened if it had broken after he's slept with and romanced Oikawa? [Would he have pursued this new connection? left it as a one night stand? how would his life have moved forward after that kind of insane connection as Oikawa would believe he had his time loop experience?] What would have happened if it had broken after Tendou had been hit by the truck? [Tendou would be dead - what will he tell anyone?] What if it had broken after punching Iwaizumi? While he's standing, frostbitten in Iceland? After any random day he thought didnt matter? After he kills himself?

Daichi was never any more safe from his consequences in the loop as he was in linear time, he just got lucky.

And thats the point. How many times have you [the reader] skipped a class because its "boring and repetive?" phone in an essay because its "just" 10%? declined to hang out with a friend you havent seen in a while because "eh, maybe next weekend."

Choices always matter. Even if you think you have calculated the worst possible end, every single day has the ability to dramatically shift the direction of your life if you use it right. There is no such thing as a day that doesnt matter.

As a metaphor for depression and burnout, you're absolutely right. Daichi's loop is broken the moment he tells Suga that he'll let him take care of him. The moment he admits there's a problem and makes a promise he intends to keep. The act of loving and being loved in return is scary and difficult but sometimes it is the only way to succeed. [Its important here to mention that this is not romantic love I refer to.] And that means trying. Agreeing to do something you think is pointless [Daichi doesnt believe a psychiatrist can help; its a time loop] but he trusts Suga anyway and agrees sincerely.

As a story, it was nothing anyone did.

Daichi just got lucky that when the loop broke he was safe and surrounded by people who would care for him.

Free will and individual agency are massive themes in my stories and perhaps thats just a product of my own current age and experience. I think in a lot of ways I havent quite gotten the hang of it myself even if I understand it in my mind. Understanding it intuitively is a lot harder.

But it gets a little bit easier for me when I can write it out and share it with people like you who care as much for these characters and stories and appreciate them in the same way.

Thank you so much for asking <3 Inbox is always open and yall can message me any time if you wanna chat about anything to just scream. [The chickens in my brain will do their best to scream back.]

#haikyuu fanfiction writer #haikyuu fanfiction #daichi sawamura

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choiraugur · 8 months ago

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For the fav characters asks game: 2, 10, 13, 15, 49 for Laurence?

2. Did you always like this character?

absolutely not! I didn’t even much care for him when I first got into bloodborne a few years ago honestly. I’m not really sure how I developed a special liking for him either? but the choir is my favourite bit in all of bloodborne and victorian medicine is one of my special interests so I latched onto him over time sort of by association or whatever because of that + I love tragedy. and he is such a tragic beast is he not. also his theme goes so fucking hard lyrics and instrumental composition go insane it gives me chills

10. Do you see yourself in this character even without projecting?

Blood obsessed yeah. But honestly I’ve been handling him almost like an oc as of recent and cant really remember what ‘canon’ parts of him I relate to right now. I’m sure there has to be something because that’s usually what gets you to bond with a character yk….. I associate laurence at first with solemnity(to a pretentious extent) and being glib but convincing enough to secure his position and the trust of others, and later with shame and regret and guilt, but also I have a lot of different interpretations I accept of him coexisting in my mind? if that makes sense?(at the core it’s mainly the things I mentioned before tho) I guess another major thing I find myself relating to is the desire to learn and the fact that I would go to any lengths for the sake of acquiring certain knowledge- something bloodborne taught me is bad but if I’m relating to laurence then that won’t stop me as history has shown. maybe when I turn into a shameful beast that is the very image of humiliation I will begin to understand

13. If you could draw effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what scene (s) would you draw for this character?

I’m already drawing this guy every other day I wish I wasnt. I hate him he should not be taking up so much of my time and thoughts. I have a lot of concepts regarding him I want to execute in mind these days but I have absolutely no idea how to go about them….. hopefully this strange creative block I’m in rn will leave me alone soon

15. Are your thoughts surrounding this character usually sexual, non-sexual, or a mix of both?

always nonsexual he’s too much of a loser (what’s funny is that I couldn’t answer the ‘do you relate to this character’ question but anytime I’m asked if I’m sexually attracted to him I always think “he reminds me too much of myself” subconsciously which is super funny. what do I mean by this)

49. What’s your favorite personality trait in this character?

fucking around and finding out goes crazy with this one. and malice(intentional or yet to be awakened) is a beautiful thing when you happen to be an influential scholar who then becomes a huge authority figure. nothing could go wrong here

#asks #I love yapping so much #maybe that’s a laurence trait the inability to shut the fuck up when you care about the topic #laurence autistic with the most insane masking skills just trust me

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spatio-rift · 4 months ago

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was there a theme that stuck out for each member of ichibans partys storylines in rgg8.... i remember really liking that almost everyone in 7 had something going on with a sibling or sibling-like figure (major ones were ichiban and masato of course, nanba and his brother, and saeko and nanoha, but there was also zhao and mabuchi and han joongi(7) and han joongi(6)).... honestly by the time the person i was watching got to play the drink links i was already so annoyed that the game had become all about kiryu that i stopped really paying attention. more thoughts under the cut spoilers obviously

my main gripe with it really was that at some point ichiban completely felt like a minor character in his own game lol. my main concern when i first heard about kiryu coming back in this game was that it would be like dual protags so when kiryu first joined ichibans party i was so relieved. and then he went back to japan and the party was completely split in half (which i hated) and all of the plot revolved around kiryu. or at least thats how it felt to me watching it.

in the first place i genuinely dont understand why ichiban faced bryce, even though it was kiryu who kept seeing haruka in lani and as such wanted to save her from bryce no matter what, and why kiryu faced ebina, even though his grudge against the yakuza comes from a grudge against arakawa masumi specifically, and he goes on a fucking monologue to kiryu about himself and ichiban, arakawa masumis two sons, one who idolizes him and one who hates him, etc. it felt like such bullshit to me that kiryu got to have the emotional end fight just so hed have his "im sorry 😭😭😭 its all my fault😭😭😭 i shouldnt have run away when i was the 4th chairman😭😭😭" it was sooo weak to me it just felt like the entire thing was just an excuse to arrive at an endpoint where kiryu decides he wants to live.

it was so annoying too that the game felt somewhat self aware like when it spent a little too much time on kiryu he would always be saying some shit like "ichiban is the future" "ichiban is the only one who can save us" but in the end ichiban felt like a grunt who just did as kiryu told him to

(long calming sigh) i should think of some positive things to say. like in 7 i did really like the conversations the party had w each other i feel like its the main strength of the ichiban games in general. and im glad akane turned out to be a normal woman i was worried shed be exceptional cuz then i would have been so over it. the new allies were great i loved chitose tomi and yamai.

i loved the giant shark and the giant squid i wish they showed up earlier when i wasnt forcing myself to continue watching even though i wasnt enjoying myself at all. i didnt care for any of the villains but dwight especially was a really odd case because they first humiliate him and then i gotta take him seriously? nuh uh even at the very end he was always pee boy to me. and whyd they bring back sawashiro for... nothing much really? i lowkey wish they had left the whole thing alone it was great as it was in 7. though the dramatic reveal that masato didnt trust sawashiro was funny asf to me.

all in all would i call the time i spent watching it a waste of time? not really because i was playing an idle farming game while i was watching it and i made a lot of progress. but other than that well. its not like my life is better having watched it

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repl1c4nt · 11 months ago

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i wanna uhhhhhh update my ffxvi post: i did end up giving it a chance and so i will elaborate on the Me (tm) official review: theres a lot buckle in (spoilers for th3 entire game)

ok.,,,,,,...... now dat were all here letz go

First id just like to say soken delivers another phenomenal soundtrack(no surprize there) Historie - the holy empire and Titan lost are some of my favorite tracks in the game i cannot say i expected anything otherwise and it was a delight to get to every major dominant battle to hear what he cooked

on the topic of battle the gameplay was another huge plus for me. when all else failed i found myself returning to ffxvi for the gameplay alone because it is very genuinely fun, fast paced, and i enjoyed the variety of each eikon it kept rhe game fresh for me espically when it slowed down in every other aspect, i enjoyed every eikon battle to death whenever i couldnt decide if i /liked/ the game while playing i remember fighting titan. i had no clue how the fight would play out despite being late to the scene and i was blown away by how good it was. everything about it was so enjoyable it honestly empowered me to get to the rest of them and bahamut was just as much of a treat. it helped i love dion (i will be getting to characters) and his phase themes (beyond the heavens&ascension) were brilliant. the bahamut fight much like titan did not disappoint. for me at least it felt odin had a bit of a much welcomed difficulty spike enjoyed that fight a lot even if it wasnt as cinematic as bahamut and titan

speaking of... cinematic scenes were a weak point to me.. as cool as they were and they /were/ i cant help but feel like there had to be a better way to interrupt the fight. sometimes it really took me out of the moment to have my fight paused to just like press a button or mash or some shit. its fine just got old /fast/

as far as the rest of the battles they were all fun adn well and good.. i enjoyed every fight theme and found every fight mostly enjoyable although i cant help but feel the DPS check section fighting ultima where you kinda fly arounf him in circles would have been leagues more fun if it was a drakengaerd 3 style synced to thr music event... imagine that....it would be so awesome it woukd be so cool................. anyway as far as the actual final fight.. well lets get to the characters and story first

i wont be discussing the controversy surrounding the game because, despite it impacting my experience playing the game in very real ways, it just isnt what i wanna get into in this base post

alright. maybe i wasnt paying rnough attention but the story to me fell apart when ultima became a bigger actor on the stage. absolutely dont get the lad or the crystals. were destroying yhe mother crystals cos theyre killimg the planet fine well and good the story's pacing in this part was really wonk to me haha it would go from desperately boring an sluggish to fun for a moment and then just so boring again. it wasnt until the final two mother crystals when i became invested in whats happening. the mothercrystal plot twist was like oh ok well cid died for nothing /shrug i really dgaf either way i only really care my beloved mid. i really found myself most invested when characters i liked specifically becme involved with the plot (dion its dion its always dion)

dion's story to me was easily the best (yes my favorite heavensward character was aymeric. whos fucking surprised) fang and and vanille always had the most profound impact on me as far as ff relations go and its def because they were the closest thing we had to a canonical queer relationship and i will say dion and terance felt.. good? i know theyre not the /best/ and fang and vanille were leagues ahead of them a decade ago bit theres that just the way theres no question about their queerness just felt so good to see as a long time queer fan of the series who put up w its homophobic moments lol........... they were definitely a genuine highlight for me and their relationship was so beautiful and refreshing i wish we saw more of them.. especially because clive and jill just did not hit lolll. i couldnt believe how little i resonated with clive, joshua too. for me i usually have no problem relating to the main cast they all feel so human and real even when theyre cartoonish theres an undeniable down to earthness and relatability of most of the ff main casts i just couldnt bring myself to really care about clive

jill's story was for a brief moment something interesting and exciting. this was a woman in a yoshi p game w her own arc where the male character plays a fully supportive role and she isnt put in a passive role for her own story to move someone elses development along jill for the briefest moment maintains her own active will to get closure on her trauma where she isnt punished for it its just so disappointing its her only moments in the game. her character arc is chapters short and afterwards she would almost exclusively play passive roles, even giving clive her powers after they share an equally intimate scene both naked and venerable only for a dynamic to be reinserted through the form of dominant's power

clive was just nothing to me, i honestly tried to like him and i did mostly enjoy joshua as a character but i just did not ever care for his story ultima was so unfleshed out and strange ffxvi was best when it was pretty grounded to the on continent conflicts, the story doesnt feel like it was built around ultima the story honestly feels like it was built around the empire and ultima was an after thought. and man vs empire and then suddenly extraterrestrial/celestial freaks are involved isnt even uncommon ff plot progression. i could play like 5 other final fantasy games at that point. if the combat in ffxvi werent so addicting it would have nothing. (untrue of course it always has a brilliant soundtrack) i just really did not like the way the game built off itself it never felt natural or believable. none of the conflict with ultima felt grounded or natural or like it was built up in any meaningful way

i really dont understand the hype around clive hes very genuinely just a pretty face. i just dont care about u at all no matter how hard i tried

i never cared about hugo or benedickta either, although theyre like tertiary antagonists to be fair

joshua was another highlight for me. hes just very polite and jote was cute if definitely underutilized. i really dont have much else to say i wasnt surprised he died

clive i knew would die, that was a spoiler i knew w out a doubt going in and i was completely disappointed in it anyway. joshua made sense at Least he was basically dying the entire game and dion well. it makes sense yoshi p would kill the one gay man we cant have shit in eorzea but seeing clives entire arc be no dont kill yourselfffffff..... the world and its endless beauty is a bounty of possibilities and meaning. just to die anyway feels well. it just feels and to be fair clive did sacrifice himself for the lives of others but the scene where cid tells clive not to kill himself- regardless of how ungentle he put it- just feels so empty because well clive u could hav just killed yourself there i guess. sorry you were a slave for 13 years youll die before you get to live your life for yourself. like cmon narratively a more satisfying arc for him would have been to overcome this and live for himself even if he has to live w out joshua. he can move on hes done it partially before hes accepted himself he must live but he doesnt get to

its a shame. also unrelated the final fantasy namedrop made me reel but i forgave it for honestly being a little camp......... the lodestone name drop is Not forgiven. just horrible someone shpuld be fired

i dont really have much else to say and out of a desire to post this soon im gonna wrap it up. honestly i had high hopes for final fantasy 16 and im not one to go "oh final fantasy now sucks" because i Love ff13. i love ff15. i liked ff14 a normal amount. but ff16 just felt underwhelming compared to them.. it looked leagues better dont get me wrong even if ill always think ff13 is visually the best out of 'modern' final fantasy for its incredible cgi cutscenes good art direction and the ps3 charm the realtime cutscenes in 16 sometimes felt undynamic in comparison but real time vs cgi is very literally games hardware vs movie so........ not comparable tbh the environment and general worldbuilding of 16 was just so lackluster. the world felt so unreal even if it looked incredibly real, the plot was unfocused at times and inadequately built up, the characters are mostly uninteresting, and the character eith the most meaningful connection to clive was torgal. well torgal and cid but cid dies and leaves a gaping hole in the 'good character' category when it was just him mid and dion to begin with

still fun to hunt rank s's though ☝️

#me talkies

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nihiltism · 1 year ago

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oh boy I finished (citation needed) a new game time to add to the veedia tag again

metal: hellsinger (ps4)

this game is Lovely. this game is so fun. I cannot aim to save my god damn life. metal hellsinger accomplished a major feat in having the only possible setup in the entire world to encourage me to play a first person shooter (being, really good metal and rhythm mechanics) and to that I applaud it because I consider fpses to be sort of my mortal enemy? right next to mmos and fighters? im gonna go into it more let me not take up ur entire dash.

the gameplay is Lovely. i did play on easy mode but ough the. shotgun cocking effects to the beat of a good metal song. there is Nothing Like It. the difficulty is Honestly Not Bad ** given some practice time and its very much a delight to play. well. save for one part but ill get to that. its a darkly lit game which is a problem but all of the enemies are color coded, glow, and have their own sounds and that alleviates it a bit.

i will say that the game is. Not Optimized to PS4? it is. Quite Glitchy and while I don't mind most of them i know some people do and there were a few that very much got in my way (i posted the acheron boss glitch a couple hours ago). also sometimes enemies just get stuck in the floor and youre waiting for them to pop up so you can move on. thats fun. also the bug enemies suck. the shield enemies also suck. those arent glitches i just hate them.

as for plot uh. this game was not made for plot. i accept this. its kinda Just Okay but it doesnt really need to be more than that. you play a scary demon lady who wants nothing more than to rip the devil limb from limb. whats better than that. youve got a troy baker skull. the plot there is admittedly pretty cute especially if you try to analyze the lyrics but i am also very much a sap and it hit a specific genre of Relationship In Media That Is So (Kinda Just There) Its Not Even A Subplot which is one of the few genres i can actually stand. i will say i feel i got a bit beauty and the beasted at the ending but like. eh. it wasnt that much. anyway. next point

theres no bad songs in here. my favorite is this devastation easily. ost introduced me to arch enemy which is a band you can all tell I'm normal about. the lyrics only kick in when youre at max multiplier so being able to hear a good drop is a good motive to get decent and not get hit. i think my ranking of songs is this devastation - no tomorrow - burial at night/stygia - dissolution and then everything else is kind of at the bottom in no particular order. not to say i dont like them but theyre all the same level of like. also serj tankian is there. he is lovely. he does the final boss theme (no tomorrow) that I wish I could fucking hear him over damage sound effects and myself swearing. yeah now we get to that

** The Final Boss Is Bad. yeah my main problem (and kinda only Real Problem) with this game is uh. i dont think i can actually finish it? there is an Enormous difficulty spike at the final boss to the point where my first run of lasted a solid Two Minutes if that and i am on easy mode. my friend described it as (game is touhou now) and yeah i can see it. first person touhou. nobody wants to play first person touhou. i dont want to play first person touhou. i didnt actually beat the game i just watched the ending and resolved to get back to it when i feel like it (never) and do better things with my time. like draw unknown in little outfits.

anyway thats My Thoughts. its a good game and i will probably keep playing the levels over n over. for people who dont replay these games over n over it is definitely not worth the money as you can pretty easily slash through all the levels in one sitting if you know what youre doing but i am easily entertained and love rhythm games. stay tuned for doodles of the unknown with my general fashion sense. listen to the two best tunes also. maybe listen to the whole ost after if u like it.

youtube

#veedia 2023 #veespeaks

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prettybutter-flyy · 2 years ago

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Went to see The Whale last night. I has conflixting thoughts but this is my ultimate review. Trigger warning, i will probrably use fatphobic language, sure it's something to unpack, but the movie was harsh and real. If you ever see the movie itself, they clearly wanted you to use the words i will use to discribe the main character

It was about a man, Charlie, who only cares about 3 things: his job (an English teacher), his kid, his long dead lover. At its core, its about a sad man who needs help coming out of a major depression, as when his love died, so did he essentially. And so he let himself go bc nothing else mattered, until he started seeing his daughter again, who he abandoned when she was young (for the now dead lover).

I liked the movie but i dont think i could ever watch it again. It was an incredibly hard thing to watch, especially considering my poor relationship with food. Some scenes were meant to be s grotesque, I had to look away. And being a little fat myself, i was a bit embarrassed and disgusted to find myself eating at the same time as Charlie, bc when food came into the frame, it almost always led to a gross scene. And The fat suit was definately used in good taste, charlie wasnt ever the subject of scutiny or the butt of a harmful joke... So thats about as far as i can get without spoiling it really.

Zpoilerz

Charlie's character is beautiful. It was clear a lot of love went into developing him. He looks for the honesty of people - sort of - sometimes he looks for honesty just to ignore it, like when it comes to his weight. But you can tell he really appreciates when people are honest with him, even if he ignores it, because he keeps the honest people around him. And hes got a good sense of humor about him. He knows he's so big hes going to die, his friend/caregiver told him several times before the movie started. But he ignored that, and instead of changing his lifestyle, he made plans to give his money away to his daughter when he dies.

Thats how little he cared about himself and those that loved him.

My favorite part of this film was the music. I remember actively saying "this music is fucking me up" to my date. Throughout the film, charlie soothes himself by reading an essay on the complexities of Moby Dick, the titular Whale. Its such a good essay (written by his daughter), he wants it to be the last words he hears. But the score was heavily pirate/ocean/Whale themed - heavy brass, rolling waves of sound. Several times in the movie, because of the music, I felt like i was stuck at sea, among a shipwreck, no life boat in sight. Much like how i imagine charlie was feeling in those moments. Its sad but i would recommend this movies simply for the ability to portray a sea of sorrow and saddness simply through music.

And then the pun of the name, the Whale, Moby Dick. I dont think i need to explain the metaphor. But i will, bc some ppl havent ready Moby Dick (for the purposes of understanding this movie? maybe give it a read! I dont think itd make sense without it! For fun? Dont waste your time. Its mad old timey. And a lil boring) the but the Whale in bith pieces are metaphors for just... a huge challenge the MC is working on overcoming. In MD, Captian Ishmel (?, the main pirate) is living his pirate life doing pirate thing, but has ongoing sexual tension with this literal Whale that refuses to be caught- that's a joke but he really wants to capture that fucking Whale one day. Much like Charlie having to overcome all the the extra weight he's allowed himself to gain. He let it get out of control and now he knows its either the weight or himself really.

Throughout the movie, i thought of all the ways Charlie (and lets be honest, his loved ones) let himself get so big. As a fat person myself, you don't just wake up fat. Its so gradual. Like, first youre weazing and cant breathe coming up the stairs, then your knees get weaker, and your backaches, and you cant easily get out of bed or off the couch, then you actually have to start investing money into stuff that makes being fat easier for you. that is a life you have to choose every single day (*unless of course you have a medical condition*) And then your loved ones have to keep feeding you and feeding you and not forcing you to get up to feed yourself, to move your body. That's a failure of everyone involved. As much as i wanted to believe his caregiver friend loved him, she enabled him by feeding him. What's he supposed to do, starve? No. But he can get up and feed himself. The fact that stuff like that happens in real life makes me sad.

His daughter is the first person to challenge him. He reminds him what he has to live for in a very dramatic and heavyhanded reading of her 8th grade Moby dick essay, which i thought did a LOOOT of heavy lifting throughout the movie. I wish theyd pulled more from the source material and maybe made a direct comparison rather than the allusion to the paper. But I get it, he likes essays and his daughter and this is his daughters essay .

His daughter was probrably my favorite character. She was extremely well written. I knew they were going to go the "genius rebellious teen" when she hit us with her opinion on the dumb ass books we have to read as kids in high school. They werent worth our time but if you say that youre seen as a dummy who didnt read it. Im not dumb, animal farm is dumb!

Anyways! One of the first things she does is tell her father to walk to her. Partially to embarrass him but he also very clearly cares about him. She offers to make him a sandwich, but out of either cruelty or love, she tells him "but itll be small". Which made me laugh out loud.

And then theres the Whale itself: charlies fat. Charlie's fat is almost a character itself. It feeds itself, it takes care of itself, it has a mind of its own. Charlie's has whole drawers dedicated to candy and has rigged ojut his ceiling so he can get out of bed easier, he works from home so he never has to move from the couch. It is an overlooming part of the film. It colors all of his decisions and dialouge. He calls people he doesn't like to help him pick stuff up that is out of reach, and they come!

I wish real life were as simple as in the movies. Charlie knows why he eats. His dead lover. In real life its not just boiled down to the one thing. Life sucks. We all have our vices but this is the one people judge the most for. Its not the only addict that is worn on the body, but youll never hear anyone calling a drug addict disgusting. Or a sex addict. Or a taxidermist. Or a dentist. They get much more compassion as their vices are much more easily hidden.

My point is, that scene where he insisted that guy call him disgusting for the sake of "honesty" was sad. But it's a sort of self harm I do constantly. Like just tell me im fat, tell me im ugly and thats why you dont wanna hang out. Just say it!

Its really easy to just forget why we live. We didn't make it easy to remember, we actually made it pretty difficult to want to live. (Without drugs or excessive foods or coping mechanisms). But the movie was a good reminder to remember why you're here. Why you're doing any of this. Its those little moments filled with shit we actually care about- our daughters, our hobbies, etc.

It a reminder that we can overcome ourselves and do things we need to do, over what ee think we want.

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joyaphoria · 4 years ago

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the five chances you give him (5)

pairing: suna x f!reader

note: this is the last chapter! i hope you all enjoyed :)

summary: suna knew that he was doing something wrong, but he refused to acknowledge it. therefore, you slowly dropped five major hints for him, hoping that he would notice them and take action to fix your broken relationship. suna really did notice them, he just didn’t figure out in time that you were actually going to leave.

series masterlist | directory

part five: rin became rintaro; then it became suna

"oh baby... nobody said that it was going to be easy." mei cooed, her voice softer than usual. she repeatedly kissed the top of your head as you cried into her lap.

"i k-know but.." you spoke through your sobs, snot along your sleeves. "i-i really hoped t-that he would ch-change.."

it's been just over two months since you've started changing your behaviour around rin, but he didn't seem to react to it—no, he may have changed, but only a bit. it wasn't enough.

you knew that this was unavoidable, and that it had to be done. the longer it takes for you to get this over with, the longer it will take for you to get over it.

so when mei sent you home that night, she reassured you that it will all be worth it in the end, and that you will find someone better.

but the fact that he was waiting for you at the same table that you used to wait at, every single night, didn't help at all.

"where were you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

you stood there for a second with your shoes still on, and folded over with laughter.

his heart flutters. whens the last time you laughed in front of him?

"sorry," you sniffled through the laughter, the aftermath from crying earlier doing you no justice. "it's just that i used to sit in that same chair, waiting for you to come home, you know?"

hesitating for a moment, he decided on getting up and walking over to you, although he didn't know what to do.

"y/n." he's looking down at you now, resisting the urge to reach out and take hold of your hands.

"rintarou."

now that caught both of you off guard.

it slipped out without a second thought on your end, and you were visibly shocked.

as was suna, except he was more afraid than anything else. he knew what this meant—he was no longer rin to you, but rintarou.

he should be grateful though, because he knew what eventually might come next. he knew that it wouldn't be rintarou for long, and that as soon as it changes, it would be over; everything would be over.

"were you crying?" he whispers, reaching out to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. except you wouldn't let him, grabbing his wrist in time. God—mei would be so proud; as would that kind lady from the cafe.

"why should you care?" you spat, letting go of his wrist to remove your shoes.

"because im your boyfriend." he said, although you didn't miss the quiver in his voice from that last word, as if he wasn't so sure anymore.

you move past him and head straight for the bathroom; but suna didn't miss it. he heard what you mumbled on your way out—and it had him slumped against the wall (when you were out of sight, that is)

his fists are clenched and his heart is beating a little too fast, but he can't get his mind off of what you said.

"yea, well not for long"

five words, and yet they seemed to foreshadow his future.

there were two possible reasons that you could be waking him up at 10 in the morning.

you were either waking him up to tell him that it was over, and that you were leaving, or that it was over, and that he had to leave.

turns out there was a third reason.

"do you have practice today?" you asked, your voice a whisper.

"yeah.. why?" he got up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. its been a while since you last entered this room, moving all your things to the guest room.

"oh. nevermind." you make a gesture to leave but he panics and grabs your arm. this could be an opportunity, and he wasn't about to lose it.

"i could um.. take the day off." he nods his head.

"are you sure?" when he nods his head yet again, your features soften.

"okay, well get dressed. i feel like going to a theme park."

you leave the room before he has a chance to answer, but he complies anyways.

his mind wanders to the picture that he broke in the heat of the moment awhile back—the one where you were both smiling at an amusement park, kids laughing in the bakground.

"let's go on that one!" you exclaim, pointing at the rollercoaster.

a soft grin takes over your face—and while it may not be your typical energetic one, at least it was still there.

now, suna wasn't a big fan of rollercoasters. he prefered to have you go on them, while he took the photos, but today's been the first time in a while that he's actually seen you happy, and he wanted to keep it that way.

you've been here all day, and it was already pretty dark, so they might be closing soon anyways.

when the cart had finally come back around, you and rin got on, with a guy slipping in on your side.

"you guys here together?" he asked, looking over you to make eye contact with suna.

you nodded, and he chuckled.

"im here with my girlfriend, but she doesn't like roller coasters as much as i do."

now you and him are making small talk, and suna is resisting the urge to tell the guy to shut up, and to go back to his own girlfriend.

when the ride finally starts, he feels relieved, even slipping his hand into your own.

your hand tenses, and he looks up to find a look of guilt soaked into your features.

he quickly unravels his hand from yours, settling it into his lap and looking away. he got too carried away to remember that a day of rides and fun wasnt enough to fix his mistakes.

as the ride starts climbing upwards, fear pumps through his veins.

he shuts his eyes, dreading the fall.

when it finally came, he opened his eyes and hugged himself to keep from screaming.

he looks over to you, and his heart does that thing again—it flutters.

with your hands in the air, your screams adorning his ears, he fell in love. all over again.

the moonlight caressed your pretty features as your eyes shut in pure bliss, and suna found tears falling out of his own.

the tears fell but he didn't sob—not once. you didn't look his way either—not once.

instead he looked away, quickly wiping the tears before someone could catch him. he missed this; he missed you.

when you two got off the ride later, he wonders if you would ever go to another theme park with him.

when you decide to leave, suna finds an employee walking around the park with a polaroid camera.

he asks him to take a picture of you, and places it in his wallet. he can't break it this time.

suna misses the look of guilt that slips past your face, as if it were never there.

when the car pulls into the parking lot, and you both get out, suna realizes that you weren't walking beside him.

he panics and turns around, where he finds you smiling. tears in your eyes.

"thank you for today, suna."

he freezes. he can't move anymore. he can't think.

"don't be silly. let's go inside." he's walking again, but when he doesn't hear a second set of footsteps, the tears wash over him.

"why aren't you coming?" his voice cracks as the tears stream down his face.

"i'm going to mei's. it's-it's over." you smile, wiping continuously at your eyes.

"y/n please, we can talk about this." he's running over to you, taking hold of your shoulders as he bends down to make eye contact. "we're fixable, okay? i promise we are." he doesn't make move to wipe away the tears that are falling.

you wipe away his tears, pulling him into a hug. "i'm so sorry."

he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, afraid of having you slip out of his grasp. "please, don't leave me. i'll do anything, just give me another chance. i need you."

you wriggle out of his arms, and his fists clench at his sides.

"i gave you chances. i gave you too many. i have to go."

you're running now, and he can't decide if he should run after you or not. has he not caused you enough pain?

instead, he falls to his knees and cries.

that was it. he lost you—he lost everything.

the polaroid picture was burning a hole through his wallet.

when he finally musters up the courage to check the guest room a few days later, he sees all your things packed up in boxes.

you had it all planned out, didn't you?

when mei comes later that day to pick up your things, she finds suna curled into a ball on the guest room floor.

"suna. wake up."

his eyes open slowly, and she finds them red, his eyebags puffy and cheeks tear-stained.

"is y/n gonna come back?" he asks, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

mei shakes her head, and suna cries again.

she looks away, thanking the heavens that she wasn't in a relationship. she couldn't help but pity him as she collected her best friend's things, suna's sobs as a sort of background noise.

she couldn't be surprised—the lost of your entire world was enough to make any grown man cry.

heartbreak isn’t easy, but suna’s heart hurts without you. where he sleeps, where he bathes, it all reeks of your touch.

you’re everywhere here, all memories playing back to him like a movie. he’s reminded of you, and recovering addicts don’t test themselves; they dont stay around said addiction to see if they can restrain themselves.

and so suna moves out, running from the place that you’ve drenched in your presence.

he leaves the polaroid picture on the table.

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papers4me · 3 years ago

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Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 112 & 113 (part 1)

A surprise was waiting for in these two chapters..

A whole sub-plot was cut & I’m shocked at the content. I’ll go thro chapters (112 & 113) content in part 2, but here I wanna express my thoughts on the decision of cutting this sub-plot by the anime team.

Why do I think it’s a good decision to cut it & why do I think cutting it is another sign that se03 is underwhelming & frustrating.

-Cutting sub-plots: A look into its importance to the anime:

1-Frankly... cutting it is a good decision for a 13-eps season:

Thinking abt it from the directors’ perspective, if se03 is only 13 eps, then having this entire sub-plot cut is a very good idea. It adds nothing to the core basic climax: we know tohru suffered, we know tohru’s pain already. The theme of not measuring ppl’s trauma against each other & deciding who is sadder (that kakeru did) has already been presented subtly thro kyo & yuki’s own backstory. It just wasnt stated blatantly in furub’a direct style if se01. You get it thro seeing yuki tell his story in se02 & you already know kyo’s story from se01 finale & his major ep in se2, ep9, so you put two & two togther. Yuki & machi’s sub-plot love progression is already too late to be presented in the packed se03. The anime lost a chance to present that in se2 (yuki’s season) somehow without the attached (tohru-kakeru) thing, since the anime says tohru is only se03 material.

Thinking abt it from a viewers perspective: if se03 is only 13 eps, then imagine packing all this somewhere in the 13 eps we saw..Like where we’ll we see it? Where should it be placed now that the anime’s order doesn’t match the manga? Kyo & tohru’s sheet hug kicked the climax! so, if anything from this sub-plot would be added, then it needed to be in the early se03 eps.. but where? no place. Momiji sub-story was butchered. Kyo was made forgetful. no place for isuzu’s natural reaction to anything other than haru. The darn antagonist herself got one ep alone for her past, mentality & all.

To add this sub-plot within the 13 eps would’ve killed se03 completely, cuz then a major character from the ones who got tiny spotlight in se03 would’ve even got tinier space. Kyo, tohru’s & her past past, akito, shigure, momiji, isuzu, haru, hiro & kisa.. one of these would lose their spot to make room for this sub-plot to have an ep of its own... can you imagine the disaster it would be for character buildup? like right now se03 is suffering tremendously from that, can you imagine sacrificing more?

Personally I’d hate sacrificing anything that we saw already within the 13 eps for this plot. Knowing the driver who hit kyoko had a story will add nothing major. Seeing a deeper side to kakeru would be great but it doesnt worth sacrificing the major plot of akito, tohru, shigure, kyo or momiji. Yuki/machi having depth in their relationship is epic! but alas no space in se03 for it.. kinda wished at least the yuki-machi sub-plot love had some parts of it included instead of all the damn wasted spotlight for motoko!!!!!!!!!! Really, if you think abt it, ep3 has yuki-machi theme & the anime is all abt episodic themes, so couldn't they put yuki’s cute gift to machi instead of the horrible yuki talks to motoko thingy, then she & the fancub float.... & sing & worship yuki even more...

2- Cutting this sub-plot is a bad decision for overall in-depth story-telling:

The anime has already decided that the anime is not where fascinating story-telling is. Just go the manga..sigh~~~ They’re here to promote it anyway. If not, then tohru’s own story (without the kakeru’s plot) wouldn’t have been so messed up & bland. She’s the main protagonist, yet her own ep is the weakest ep in se03. It was all presented thro third person telling methods & cramped with characters that need their own spot light such as shigure, Isuzu, kagura & the grandpa.

To add this subplot means se03 MUST be more than 13 eps & if it truly was more than 13 eps then none of the problems that occurred in se03 would be present at all... If se03 was 20 eps, then Kakeru subplot would be there, yuki-machi would be relatable, realistic & so darn cute! Akito would be so believable instead of cartoon-ish villain who got saved, kyo wouldn't have forgotten anything cuz there would be no need for added drama. He wouldn’t have gone coco at the sight of the hat & tohru wouldn’t have conveniently forgotten her lover had a panic attack & went baking with momiji. The reason tohru was made to forget that kyo panicked is cuz ep 7 was needed to focus on akito quick before the climax!!!! no room for tohru & kyo plot, show them at the ep’s beginning only cuz kyo’s nightmare is important & quick move to akito. Kyoko’s story wouln’t have become a milking method for an ova & her interaction with her daughter wouldnt have been cut.

Overall, this subplot is so good yet so tricky. It is good to see more depth into unexpected characters, but it has elements of what I think furuba fails to do (more on that in part 2). Kakeu-tohru interaction in school now that they’re 3rd year students amuses me yet angers me so much. I’m not mad he was mean to tohtu in the past. Actually that was a realistic thing that lots of insensitive ppl do under the name of love & he got told off by komaki which is so fantastic. It’s their current interaction in school that I have issues with... lots of issues. More on this in the chapter analysis in part 2.

Now that I have expressed what I think of cutting or adding this chapter in the anime, I can move on to analyzing the chapter itself & its content. I’ll post it soon within two days<3.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #manga review #manga spoilers #fruits basket manga spoilers #I got my computer back today!!!! =D #stressed paper #real life still sucks tho #but oh well~

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butterflyeffectiveless · 3 years ago

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It's a shame Toffee never was a focus for the show the only story I've read that focuses on Toffee would be SVTFOE the thief and it's only in the second half. I wish Toffee was focused more on your drawings of him are amazing!

Hello anon, you're super welcomed here and thank you s m, thats so sweet of you and im glad my drawings are nice

Yeah.. I feel the same way. I suppose mostly because Im one of those people who weren't into the romance part of the show, so we kinda got the short end of the stick. Tbh I noticed it is very hard to make analysis of the show or show's characters because they,, feel inconsistent, or there are too many unsaid things there

In all honesty, I admire the creators' ideas and imagination, the ideas themselves, (The kingdom, the magic book of spells, the spells, the queens, the world, dimensions, creatures in charge of dimensions, Toffee as a whole) but the execution of said ideas left so many questions and led to some sense of dissatisfaction, at least to me

I get the show was trying to do the "we will leave for the fans to speculate on that part" thing, but nnng, that happened in major plot driven parts and I just wanted to learn more canon revelations rather than speculate. The show was focusing so much on the racism theme just to kinda brush off the idea at the end and kill the magical creatures and even left the deaths of monsters unresolved or never mentioned it, it gave a rather bitter aftertaste.. I feel like it would be better if the show focused only on one thing, i.e. teenage romance only in the show, and other aspects like monster opression, queens, in other sources or even in a Separate show with different mc maybe(?)

The fact that I didnt connect to the main character didnt help me either..For example, in season 1 I liked Star probably because in season 1 she was faced with her mistakes and wrongdoings and she learnt from them, but in next seasons she became always right and never wrong, even when she clearly did wrong things and mistreated others the show didnt even hint on how she was wrong, and I..didnt really like that. Even the main antagonist of the whole 2 seasons didnt get any information revealed about him, I understand the creator wanted him to serve as a bad guy who is mysterious but he serves as a ‘preparation’ for the next arc, but Toffee was around in the show and was the center of the show for so long the audience was bound to get attached to him

And even Toffee himself, was hinted to not be perfect, he was revealed to have fatal flaws (i.e. he’s extremely stubborn and prideful and he is so ready to spite mewmans he literally deludes himself into thinking HE is always right and he is the only one who knows everything, even if that leads to his fall. But the show didnt focus on that, it only made vague hints. I wish that part of him was explored further). I feel like because of that he felt more relatable to me than the main characters.. Its like when the show tries to make the mc likable and makes them perfect, whereas making the villain flawed but that leads to the audience to connect to the villain more. In a way Toffee feels more “human” to me, if that makes sense, which is ironic because he’s a monster. I also feel it is a shame Toffee wasnt focused on at all, because I have a strong feeling that he would make a lot of viewers feel seen and he would be relatable to some watchers if his character was expanded further, he’d be one of favorites in the show. But him being a ‘schrodinger’s cat’ of the show made him either a ‘sexy man’ or ‘disusting guy with nothing to sympathise with’ in the eyes of the audience. and that saddens me because I realize he HAS personality and relatable traits in canon, (he is literally a goldmine of great character potential and topics that can be discussed (generational trauma, pride, impostor syndrome, stubborness, pettiness, resentment, character growth from a teenager bully boy to a general to a historian)) he was just not focused on enough to let the viewers know of them.

I cant bring myself to hate the show because I know there are people who worked really hard on it, and put a lot of effort into it, so I cant hate it because of that. But no matter how much i try to like it , I return to that feel of confusion concerning plot and character arcs.. Its like my mind still makes me think the show is somehow still going on, even though it is clearly over, its just hard to accept it was concluded because of how many things were left uncovered

#anon #ask #text #long post #toffee #svtfoe toffee #personal opinion #thank you for your ask youre very cool #and people dont have to love toffee to be interested in what he will do #because the audience is interested in characters they are familiar with #Toffee was a major part of the show for two seasons. not to mention that there was a major hiatus between seasons which made the attachment #and longing for revelations stronger #Toffee doesnt have to be redeemed to be an interesting character and i think canonically he wouldnt be redeemed but that #would make his story arc interesting and different from other characters #there are monsters who found strength to forgive and build something together #Toffee is a character who couldnt do neither and his story would add new flavors to the topic..#The show has showed morbid things before ; showing a villain that has gone too far and wont change his ways wouldnt hurt it;#btw Mina Loveberry got similar thing; her story was barely shown even though she was the main villain in the finale of the whole show..#I am not a good writer so i feel guilty for writing all this #but i wanted to share my feelings about the show

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midnightmoonkiss · 5 years ago

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Sweet Temptations

Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Summary: The rain certainly provides the perfect atmosphere to nap in.

WARNINGS!: none

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: It was raining a few days ago when I was taking a nap, so I decided to conjure up a self indulgent fic >~<

Just To Clarify:

Izuku is your fiance

you both live together in a house in the mountains

commute to work is probably a pain but oh well

The sprinkle of rain pitter-pattered gently on the roof of your shared home, dribbling off of the sides and thumping against the flat, smooth rocks strategically placed beneath.

Drip.

Drop.

Drip.

Though it was faint, the splashing of its drizzle in the koi pond just beside you could still be heard, even through the paper shoji dividing the two seperate spaces. The fresh yet blissfully familiar earthy scent of it seeped in through an open, wood-framed window not too far from where you sat, rain splattering noisily onto the vibrant red maple leaves just outside of it. The sweet sound molded together with the soft jingle of chimes swaying in the light breeze to create a beautiful melody that soothed your soul more-so than any show ever dreamed of doing.

Downpour was always best in the spring, the cool atmosphere welcoming it with loving arms. It always gave you a good excuse to stay bundled up on the plush couch, sipping at a freshly made cup of herbal tea.

The wide TV just in front of you idly played something you couldn’t quite remember the name of, becoming more of background noise as your eyes always seemed to travel back to the droplets lazily flowing down the foggy glass of the window, dripping down onto the wet frame.

Surely the water would seep inside soon, traveling slowly down the wall just to puddle on the tatami mats, but the fresh air it provided was too good to pass up for something so mundane.

Besides, it would take a long time for that to actually occur.

Days like this were the ones you found yourself loving the most.

A day to relax your bones stiffened by adult duties, letting the sounds of nature wash over your tired being.

A day to not have to worry about anything.

No responsibilities, chores are already taken care of, work all done.

There was absolutely nothing of any importance that needed your immediate attention.

The lack of work wasn’t the only good thing on this fine day, though.

It was the peace and quiet.

A perk of moving into a home a ways away from the bustling city was the relative stillness, as well as the much-needed privacy.

That, and being surrounded by wildlife.

The place was a traditional Japanese home, or similar to it as the realtor had said. Surrounded by trees, flowers, well-placed stones, and babbling brooks.

Living in a house like this was always a dream.

Perhaps thats why you were able to convince your lovely fiance to live here.

Tatami floor mats cushioned your near every step, the woodwork filling the interior the house becoming a sight for sore eyes every time you happened to notice the beautiful craftsmanship.

Everything was pristine.

New, yet held that comforting sense of tradition you always wanted.

A place where you could build a life with your handsome husband-to-be.

Yawning, you placed your tea cup onto the coffee table before stretching out on the couch you had lounged around on for far too many hours, arms rising high above your head. A satisfied groan left your lips the moment your back popped, the sickening crack being far louder than you had originally anticipated.

Boy, was your posture in true shambles.

The bone king quaked at your very feet.

You snorted at the thought, hopping off and stretching your legs out for a moment.

A quick press of the button turned the forgotten television off with a jingly bleep.

No point keeping it on when a new quest had opened up for your curious soul.

The quest of: Finding Izuku and annoying him.

Honestly, who would you be if you spent too long willingly away from him?

His sheer presence was far too calming and therapeutic for you to ever even consider such a foolish option.

Or perhaps you were just as love-struck with him as you were when you first had met.

Besides, knowing him, your big man probably desired your company as much as you suddenly did his.

So, grabbing your cup of tea, you slid your tan slippers on over your Christmas-themed fuzzy socks, wrapping your cozy (F/C) blanket around your shoulders before setting out on your little adventure.

It was around noon, the sun high in the sky shining as brightly as it could behind a plethora of darkened clouds. He always seemed to like reading around this time, his internal clock making his fingers itch for something to grab and run his eyes over.

Oftentimes his fingers swept through news articles on his phone or turned a delicate page of a random book that previously caught his brilliant green gaze at that old book store at the edge of the city that felt, in many ways, like a home you never knew you needed.

The store's calming ambience was the key inspiration for the fairy lights and various decorations scattered about your home, especially that kotatsu that sat in the middle of your living room.

Your feet padded gently on the tatami as you made your way around the house, first checking his little office hidden away in the back. It was hard not to cringe at the state of it. Papers were scattered everywhere and overflowing from the poor trash bin, random maps sprawled out on the desk, notebooks filled with notes and ideas to the left of his old, squeaky chair. It was a mess. Did he ever clean this place?

You were tempted to do so yourself for a split second, before realizing everything was in a specific place for a reason. A reason unknown to you, but known to him, as he explained sorrowfully the one night you did clean his office. He was a messy boy, forever and always. At least with his work. His mind ran too fast for his hands to keep up half the time, resulting in.. chaotic messes only he could comprehend.

Blinking, you slid the door shut with your foot, sipping at your drink as you carried on your search.

The house was quiet, save for the ever-present pattering of rain against it, giving no real indications of his true whereabouts.

Typically you could rely on his persistent muttering to swiftly locate him, but today was as silent as ever. No doubt the atmosphere got to him as well, making him want to relax somewhere and listen closely to the soft rainfall whilst doing whatever he pleased.

Humming, you checked each and every room you came across upstairs first, looking for the man you loved oh-so-much.

As time ticked on and minutes flew by, you found yourself getting pouty, fingers thrumming against the now empty mug as you continued searching.

Where on earth could he be? Sure, the house was a bit big, but you had already managed to cover the entire upstairs floor and the majority of the bottom. Calling out to him would be easier, he’d no doubt reply in that cheery tone that graced his voice whenever he spoke to you, but you wanted to find him on your own. Surprise him to a degree.

His senses were sharp, and he’d hear you the moment you came a few meters near him - no matter how quiet you were, but that wasnt going to stop you from trying to surprise him.

Plus, calling out his name didnt quite seem appropriate. The still, chilly air would be ruined by your voice, and you couldn’t help but subconsciously want this search to go on until you yourself found him with your own eyes, and not use his voice as an aid.

After checking a few more rooms, you sighed heavily, head thumping against the wall as your resolution crumbled beneath your feet.

Was it really worth it? Being silent?

You weren’t even a ninja or some vigilante, you were just a bakery owner who never needed to sneak around, especially their own living space.

With a huff of aggravation, you walked to the kitchen. Holding an empty mug was pointless and served no purpose other than getting in your way, so naturally you decided to get another drink.

Oh, what to choose?

There were so many options to choose from other than tea.

Well, not really. More like, an endless amount of tea and three other things. Probably.

Coffee? No, no, even if you were feeling a bit sleepy, now was not the time for a caffeine high.

Oh!

What about hot chocolate?

Yes! Absolutely!

This cold weather certainly called for a nice, hot cup of a sugary sweet, chocolatey drink to warm your tummy and renew your resolve.

As you were mixing the cocoa powder into your warmed up cup of milk, watching with childish glee as the dark brown swirled with white for a moment until it mixed into a nice tawny brown that reminded you of delicious brownies, a distant noise caught your attention.

Your head instantly perked up, eyes flying up to peer out the large window in front of you.

Rain continued to pour softly down onto the wet and muddy ground, momentary water halos forming as they splatted down onto the darkened pathement.

A car zoomed past, throwing muddied water up onto the far away end of your driveway.

Ah.

So it was a car.

It was hard not to feel disappointed at that, partially because you had hoped it was Izuku giving away his location by accident.

Though he could be quite loud at times, that man had the power to be quieter than a kid told to wake their parent up in a bit to do chores.

With a discontented sigh, you placed the spoon into the sink, sprinkling some tiny marshmallows into your drink before walking off to continue the man hunt.

There weren’t too many places left inside for you to check, and you managed to do so in only a minute or two.

Truly, you were dumbfounded.

Where could he possibly be?

Did he take his car and go somewhere?

No, no, he would have told you if that were the case, and you would have seen him exit the front entrance as well.

So where?

You stopped in your tracks, being slapped upside the head with sudden realization.

Of course he wouldnt be inside huddled away like a lonely hermit on a day like this, no, he’d enjoy it! Breathe in the earthy fresh air as it enveloped him.

He loved the rain far more than you did, so it made sense.

You smiled, taking a big sip of your hot chocolate as you suddenly knew exactly where he was.

It was hard to say you didn’t feel like a complete idiot for missing something so simple as you walked back to the living room.

There was always one place he liked to hang out at during a nice day.

On the engawa hovering over the koi pond.

You stopped just in front of the shoji screen, excitement already sparking in your system.

You rocked back and forth on your feet as you took a breath to calm your racing heart, the goofiest smile etched upon your face.

Your fingers dipped into the slots used to open the door,

One.

Two.

Three!!

“BOO!” You screeched like a banshee down at the man relaxing on a cushion by the edge of the wood, glasses tipping off his nose as his focused eyes stayed glued to the book in his hands.

“Ahh!” He playfully shouts in response, a smirk upon his lips as he notices your exasperated state slinking down onto your knees on the polished floor with a look of utter defeat upon your cute face

“I was trying to scare you..!”

Came your complaint, eyes boring into his own as you pouted.

“I was scared. I screamed!” Izuku chuckles, shoulders shaking as he couldnt control that goofy smile of his.

If he was trying to look convincing, he was failing horribly.

You huffed at his antics, he was far too cute to even pretend to be mad at.

You should have known better, though, trying to scare the number one hero in his own home was like trying to scare someone who knew you were coming from a mile away.

Plus, you knew that before you even realized where he was.

It was to be expected of such a talented guy.

After sliding the shoji shut to keep the warmer air in, you crawled over to him. His upper back rested comfortably on a wooden support beam as his legs sprawled out in front of him, a leather book perched on his lap.

“So, what are you reading?” from the looks of it, it seemed to be an older book of sorts, the pages a yellowish-white and the cover boring no text.

You were now sitting beside him on your knees in what would’ve been shoulder to shoulder if he wasn’t so much more taller than you, sipping at your drink once more.

It was simply too good to resist.

“It was described to me as a ‘classic’ at the store. It’s a book filled with multiple fairy tales, each having a sort of.. theme or moral told in ink at the end. There's got to be at least twenty or so in here..” he spoke with enthusiasm, eagerly showing you the one he was currently reading.

“‘The Little Mermaid’?”

It grew increasingly rare for children to know the tale of The Little Mermaid, or at least, the adaptation of it that was shown on a screen. It was a fairly old film, one you remember your grandparents speaking briefly about with joy, but still a very beloved one. A joyous little tale of a red-haired mermaid seeking the love of a prince. How cute.

But why on Earth was he reading a children's book, then?

Not that you’d ever judge him, it was just that his taste was generally more.. Sophisticated. To a degree, of course.

“Yes. But this is the original one. The true tale of ‘The Little Mermaid’, the one filled with pain and gore.”

“P-pain.. and gore?” Well now that certainly didn't sound like a children's book. Is that why it's called a classic?

He hums, thumbing through a few pages, “It’s kind of inspiring. Each step she took felt like she was walking on glass, but she never gave up on being with her prince. I think, at least, I haven’t really finished it yet.”

“Are all the originals that horrifying?” you looked down at the book with disbelief, certainly not expecting each dream-like fairy tail to revolve around a horror story.

“Some are worse, some are better, but it’s a nice read.” he shrugged, going back to his original place in the book and nudging his glasses back up on his nose.

They always did make him look so gosh darn cute.

His eyesight was as perfect as the sky was blue, but for reading? He needed glasses. They were those cheap kinds found at bookstores, but damn if those black frames didn't pull his handsome face together.

He looked so attractive, even in this dulled lighting.

You’d expect someone to look gloomy when it rains, the shadows casted by the caliginous sky and stormy clouds bringing out the sadness buried deep within someone's soul and causing them to frown. Something mystical yet scientific. The rain always brought misfortune and sorrow, but Izuku has and forever will be that sun that never stops shining brightly no matter what. That optimism despite even the toughest situations always affected the way he looked, and boy did he always look irresistible. Even in this rainy overcast, he still smiled and sparkled with enthusiasm

Just another thing to love endlessly about him

You couldnt tell, but you were currently staring at him with lovestruck eyes and the dopiest smile that ever existed plastered on your chocolate coated lips.

Izuku found himself grinning along with you as his face stayed forward, peaking at you from the corner of his eye.

Your mug of hot chocolate was seemingly forgotten as you hugged his large, muscular arm, an act he certainly didnt mind if the light flush on his cheeks were anything to go by.

“You’ve got a chocolate moustache, princess.” The boy pointed out, lips pressing into a thin line to push down any giggles rumbling in his chest.

“W-what! Really?” oh, how embarrassing. How the hell did you get it on yourself? You weren’t a kid, only kids got those, right? Oh dear.

Just as you were about to wipe it off with your blanket still draped around you, Izuku turned, gently cupping your cheek and gazing deeply into your wide, (E/C) eyes.

Oh man.

His eyes.

Up close, they were the most beautiful thing you ever did see.

Age certainly did affect them, but not in a negative way. No, they were still as captivating as ever, but now there were tiny specks of brown you’d only truly see if you were this close to him, but god did they bring those eyes together. It was like staring into a forest coated in morning dew and shimmering with the blinding light of the sun.

Addicting. You’d certainly be the first to say you could stare into them for hours and never get bored.

“Here, let me.” his tone was softer than ever, yet held a bite of playfulness.

Eyes slipping closed, you nuzzled your rosey cheek into his scarred palm, an act the man you loved couldn't help but find utterly adorable and innocent.

Honestly, you were expecting him to wipe it away with his thumb or something, but the moment you felt something warm and wet lick across the top of your lip, you erupted with laughter.

“Eww! Izukuu!” you nearly choked on the words from how hard you found yourself laughing, weakly pushing his face away.

“What do you mean ew~” That teasing tone he always seemed to use on you during moments like these resurfaced, “i’ve done much ‘grosser’ things to you than just licking your lip, darling.”

Face burning from embarrassment, you whined loudly as he gingerly pulled you into his lap, your thighs on the sides of his own, placing the book down beside him just so that he could hug you close to him.

It was impossible not to relax instantly into his comforting embrace, the blanket previously doing next to nothing to protect you from this chilly air, but his body was like a heater in itself.

So, so warm.

“You’re forgiven.” you mumble against his neck, unintentionally sending sweet shivers down his spine.

“You s-sound tired..” the bashful man stuttered in that cute way he always seemed to do when flustered, hand idly rubbing up and down your blanket clad back.

“Mm.. just a little.” You didn't even realize how tired you were until you had a chance to sink into his warmth. Perhaps searching all over the house for the past half hour wore you out more than you’d like to admit.

Plus.. the calming rain certainly wasnt helping.

It was much more intense out here than it was when inside, the splatter of it hitting the pond not as muffled as before, mainly due to the fact that the pond was so close you could reach out and touch it if you so desired.

Which you didn’t.

Because then you’d get wet.

The sheer thought of getting cold water on your warm skin made you cringe, huffing through your nose just to nuzzle it into the crook of his neck.

Breathing in his scent was like being slapped with all the good things in your life.

He always had a bit of a musky scent. It was hard to tell if it came from his sweat or just natural scent, either way- it wasn’t all that bad when paired with his shampoo and conditioner.

Always one to use, for lack of better words, green scents. Planty scents. Scents that made you just want to bury your nose in his dreamily soft, fluffy green hair and stay there all day, carding your fingers through the locks just to hear his satisfied hum.

In a short conclusion, not only did he radiate manliness, but he also smelled manly.

Isn’t that what his friend, Red Riot, would say? Manly?

It was hard to describe him as anything but that.

He certainly grew up quite a bit after his years at UA, growing taller and becoming even more buff as he got to work on the field more. Age 18 was certainly a convenient time for him to have a growth spurt. And here he was now, 25, littered with scars you always pressed loving kisses to whenever you got the chance, and as handsome as ever.

But he knew you liked his scent, because you would often tell him that. Especially when he got out of the shower. It was actually hard for him to get dressed because you were clinging onto him, enjoying the lovely smells as he desperately clutched at his towel and whined.

It was very easy for him to compare you to a baby sloth, something that always clung to another. It was cute, and he always adored the attention, something he lacked growing up.

Even now, he knew exactly what you were thinking as you sighed happily. Your body seemed to slump against his, fitting into his arms like the puzzle piece he had always been looking for. He’d be damned if he ever lost it.

Pressing a tender kiss against your temple, he smiled the moment he noticed your breathing slowly getting deeper.

“Falling asleep, hmm?” he whispered, “I guess you do nap around this time.”

As expected, he didn't quite get a response other than a simple hum.

You really were too cute.

But he couldn't blame you anyway, it was the perfect weather and place to take a nap.

It wasn't often he was able to nap with you, so you must be inwardly jumping for joy as his heartbeat and soft thumps of rain against the roof lulled you to sleep.

You always felt so.. protected and safe in his hold. And that wasn’t just because he was a hero, no, it was something more primal, like whenever you were in his arms you were always drowning in the feeling of love and safety.

Maybe it was something more than that, but you were far too tired to actually come up with any logical explanations.

So instead, you finally let yourself drip into dreamland in the warm embrace of your beloved, letting gentle chimes swaying in the wind and the relaxing sound of rain be your guide.

And Izuku?

Well, he went back to reading his book, using your lovely ass as a place to rest it.

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a-deadly-serenade · 4 years ago

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overall this season was pretty decent. i have some thots whats new so im gonna share them below the cut if anyone’s interested :)

so!! first off i’ll say that there were a lot of things i did really enjoy from season 4!

the action was super fun as always!! i loved all the crazy enemies and callbacks! the skeleton fight and all those little goblins they kept killing throughout were a nice touch ;) sypha’s use of her powers is INSANE her ice-chainsaw?? her WALL of fire?? electric balls?? come on. and the animation was NICE. i really wanna know who did most of the fight scenes bcuz the style is so different and it just POPS but in a really good way?

my favorite fight has to be ofc when everyone is REUNITED yes im basic. but the THEME song going off and well, im a whore for sotn references and i CAME when i saw the leap stone ref w the winged cape or when alucard turned into a hoard of batss AND THEN HIS WOLF FORM OOOOHH BABY!!! actually episode 9 is just a straight banger.

STRIGAAA. STRIGA. oh mama i was sweating during that fight. mad kudos to her va for them growlsss

carmilla vs isaac was a lot of fun and i loved the visuals but my hype was instantly ruined when i saw her kill herself 😭but thats smth i’ll complain about later.

not all the lines were bangers, some of sypha’s swearing seemed even a bit too much at times, and it was especially jarring to be having a face-to-face death-math with literal Death and hes acting like a naughty little 5 year old thats just learnt to swear. maybe cut back on the fuck-isms? just a bit? BUT when they hit they did GOOD. “the fuck what now?” yes

ISAAC. you weren’t in this season as much but man do u still shine through. i loved his introduction back in the town where he has his night creatures digging graves and rebuilding the city 😭 and then the conversation he shares w his flyman?? obsessed.

Hector chopping his finger off and giving lenore and carmilla a good ol FUCK YOU!! as he helps isaac. we love to see it

Trevor and Sypha’s “I love you!” “I know.” <3

DEATHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

oh! alucard actually having a story & purpose in the plot? :) luv it love to see it. that being said... the Plot.

its... ok? it’s kind of split up into 3/4 parts, as the story progresses, one eventually merges with several of the others kind of? cohesively? while leaving the other to sort itself out.

now, i didnt have too many qualms with it, it was pretty straight forward. dracula is going to be resurrected and we have sypha and trevor looking in on it, while alucard helps the nearby village and hector and isaac go on about bringing on their inevitable showdown. however, the way the story was paced and some of the decisions they made... werent so great.

st. germain for example, brought the ENTIRE momentum from the last few episodes to a halt. you have sypha and trevor fighting through heaps and heaps of monsters only to find themselves back in Targoviste where they meet the mysterious Zamfir!! and Alucard!! he’s been asked to help save this village!! all jam-packed with crazy action and animation that leaves you fired up!! and then episode 5 comes to a screeching halt and we spend nearly the entire thing on st. germain’s backstory and explaining his motives for the rest of the season

like. imma be real with you chief: he didnt need to be here lol. you could have just left varney as the main vamp in charge of bringing back big daddy drac and he could reveal to his.. idk henchmen or something that he’s death. but u gotta fill them ten 20 minute slots somehow!! he just fell so flat and unfortunately, a lot of the side-characters suffer from this this season.

i enjoyed great and zamfir, i love their desgins esp, but they really could have been fleshed out more. zamfir is shown as nothing but a spoiled brat the majority of the time she’s on screen but they wait till she’s about to die to try and turn her character around? huh? greta is given a bit more screentime but this sudden confession of feelings in the last episode felt so... huh?? why couldnt she just be dedicated to her people and show that u can love someone w/out necessarily being their partnr? i thot that was her whole thing; taking care of her people. it’s like. where did this come from. they cant have known each other more than a week at most dog 😭

it sucks they dedicated to much time to scenes that didnt really need to be there where we could have gotten this proper development, like maybe have a scene zamfir and sypha connect over struggles they’ve dealt with in the past and that has her open up about how traumatizing dracula’s attack on her city was. u could have expanded upon her role in the court and WHY she worshipped the monarchy so much instead of making it a throwaway gag about her being “crazy”. but why have that when we could instead spend the first 5 minutes of said episode watching a monotonous back-and-forth b/w varney and that big burly russian vampire who’s name im sure mor than 98% of the audience cant even remember?

just a lot of fat that needed to be trimmed so that the actual MEAT of the story could be slow cooked to perfection. people really arent kidding when they say less is more.

another big problem i had was there... i dont even know what to call it, re-humanization? redemption? of Lenore. like lmk if im wrong but she manipulated hector, yeah? coerced sex to slip on that ring that binds him to her?? orr whatever weird shit warren’s into. but the way they interacted, ESPECIALLY in their first major scene together was sooo uncomfortable to watch lol at first i thought perhaps hector was only playing along because well. hes enslaved to do her and carmilla’s bidding. but no, he actually LIKES her. he spares her when isaac comes around, he says that he wants to keep her as his own. and in the meantime, lenore finds time to complain to a man that’s been beaten and enslaved how upset it makes her that carmilla got angry at her 😭 or says thats she tired of isaac keeping tabs on her and wants to escape this ‘cage’. to aman thats literally been imprisoned since youve known him 😭her death is seen as peaceful, calm, they even try and tug at ur heartstrings by swelling this sad, dramatic music as the sun rises. really? LENORE?

and carmilla’s death happened WAYY too early imo. she was the villain for practically 3 seasons and this is how she goes? isaac couldnt get more than a stab at her? his night creatures couldnt take a nibble? HECTOR couldnt even be given a chance to do somethng like come on

the resolution was... strange? it was cute!! and happy!! but i dunno if they really needed to have lisa and vlad coming back, but, like i said; it was cute! definitely not the ending i was expecting.

i’m glad that they put their focus back on what made the show so much fun and that was the FIGHTS. they definitely helped add some much needed spice to things when scenes started to drag, but im a gal that really luvs a good story and even though reviews were raving that this season helped closed the lid on all the themes theyd been exploring, i just didnt really see that. which isnt necessarily a BAD thing, i knew i wasnt gonna find some deep introspective themes in this hack n slash horror-fantasy, its just what can turn somethng like this from an ok show to a GREAT one.

in the end, im glad they stopped at this one and im curious to see if they really DO go ahead on making spin-offs. bcuz unfortunately, i will always be down for som new castlevania content

#cv4 #this is REALLY long #and BRIMMING with spoilers #so read at ur own discretion #otherwise ty for spending ur valuable time to hear what a random sob like me has to say <3

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megashadowdragon · 4 years ago

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why ben solo deserved better

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comments on youtube:

You may think Ben Solo did not deserve mercy, but let's all remember this is a FICTIONAL universe and fictional characters. It's ok to indulge in wishful thinking, even if Ben would not be received with welcome arms on Earth even after his redemption. Dealing with a complicated character like that and trying to find a way to give him a future in the story is hard, I will admit. It's hard to know where someone's role in society is after they've betrayed and murdered since our answer usually ends in their execution or incarceration. But imagine an ending where Ben Solo is willing to answer for his crimes, Rey contends for him, and the future of the galaxy has hope. What we were given was NOT hope. Ben Solo simply deserved a better ending than he was given. He wasn't a soulless monster like Palpatine. He had remorse. He hesitated. His anger was fueled by his mistreatment and feelings of abandonment from his family. Comment below and tell me why/why not Ben Solo deserved a better ending. Even if you don't agree, do you think his abrupt death was satisfying?

I agree with a lot of your points. He 100% should have survived and it doesn't make any sense to me that they killed him off. Ben should have been given a chance to live and atone, he could've spent the rest of his life being a better man, despite other people scorning him at first. Ben and Rey are so powerful - they are stronger together and could've helped so many people in the galaxy. Surely there would still be pockets of the First Order out there - or whole planets of innocent people still enslaved that need their help. ( I have to point out that it was never clarified how many people knew kylo ren was ben solo and its quite likely that only a small group knew ben was kylo ren so you wouldnt even need to consider the galaxy at wholes reaction for they could just claim kylo ren was dead while ben solo was still alive (people didnt know anakin was vader for years ) and poe in resistance reborn talked about ex imperials atoning for their actions so poe and the people who knew ben was kylo ren would be willing to accept ben coming back and atoning for his actions . no prison or exile he would ahve a happy ending with rey on naboo the place where anakin and padme would have raised luke and leia anidala being torn apart was the original sin ) ( I am sick and tired of redemption equals death it sends the message that if you mess up and go down the wrong path the only out is death that the most you can expect is finding a cause to die for its bs the notion that he had to die is bs

“the redemption = death bs doesnt give hope to anyone its like if you mess up you cant just make up for it

ben deserved better because in the 30 years he lived he wanst truly happy and calm until his last 20 seconds of his life”

Western story writers and directors are too set on the idea of redemption of villains through death, it's an unhealthy all too common message I don't agree with, Vader's sacrifice meant something because he saved his son, but what about Leia? What does her sacrifice mean? Why is the final shot just a lone Rey in the desert with a robot? I'll never understand these decisions, it just doesn't work.

The whole Rey replaces Ben in the Skywalker line is just disgusting. Ben was "bad" so he didn't deserve the name but Rey is perfectly "good" so she does? Kids, if you ever do anything bad watch out because your family will find a good kid, replace you, and act like you never existed. Love Disney for that message.

. There’s a clear reverse Anakin/Padme thing going on for me as is. I just think they could have gone for that full reversal, where Ben lives instead of dies like Anakin essentially did when he became Vader. And then I’m always reminded of how little Ani wanted to “free the slaves” ... and while he didn’t have to take that literal route, atonement, or working to break broken systems, would have been a wonderful close to that part of the story as well. I thought it would be nice to tie his and Finn’s stories together a little in that regard.

I don't think they ever understood what they had story wise or character wise. I don't think they ever knew what message these movies were supposed to have. TROS kept making strange story decisions without thinking through their implications. With regard to Ben Solo, they give us two fake deaths after multiple characters sacrificed themselves for him, then kill him off for real. That's the kind nonsense you find in the D-grade movies mocked on MST3K, not a Star Wars film. Worse yet, they offer the audience no catharsis for Ben's death. It happens suddenly; Rey had already given her "life force" to both the giant snake and Kylo/Ben and she's fine. So the audience doesn't expect Ben to die when he gives his "life force" to her. Then after his sudden death, he's not mourned. Rey barely reacts. He's not mentioned and his sacrifice is never discussed. Then we don't even see his Force ghost. The air got sucked out of the movie and it just ends with a thud. It's like if Titanic had ended with Rose saying, "Oh well, I guess I'll just marry Cal" and it's "The End."

Ben Solo definitely deserved better & I truly thought we would get a happily ever after, a reversal of Anakin & Padme’s fate. I also thought the stormtroopers would side with the Resistance & that the reason Leia’s allies didn’t respond at the end of TLJ was because most were disguised as stormtroopers & mingled among the First Order. 🤡 I think the Skywalker saga has ended but the Solo saga will continue. 🤞🏻 The majority of fans LOVE Kylo/Ben and that’s a fact. The general audience loved & rooted for him without ever knowing his heartbreaking backstory & that he had been targeted by Palpatine from conception. Let’s hope Disney/Lf has an ace up their sleeve.

I actually thought Ben was going to live because JJ kept marketing the film as being happy, uplifting, hopeful, and Ben's arc being "fun." In 2015 he called Star Wars a "fairytale." I had been waiting for Ben to reunite with his mother since 2015 & since 2017 to end up with Rey. Neither really happens because Ben dies, thus turning Star Wars into a tragedy that pretends it's not. We didn't even get a mother/som forceghost visual reunion as a "consolation prize". I was so sure we'd get an actual living redemption arc because I thought forgiveness and the healing of the family was their intention , but nope, just a complete annihilation of the Skywalker family. I left IX feeling depressed for all of Christmas break. ...And don't even get me started on the retcon of TLJ's Rey Nobody background setup and theme.Show less

You have to ask yourself this when thinking of Ben and Anakin. If Anakin fell to the dark side because he had an unhealthy selfish love for Padme but Ben rose from the dark side because he had a healthy selfless love for Rey. What message does it send to have both characters have the same fate when it comes to being with the women they love? (Split apart) What's the point of the saga if nothing anyone does means anything? JJ and Chris failed to ask themselves these important questions.

the theme of the original trilogy was love, hope, family, forgiveness, redemption

lucas described the star wars as a space fairy tale soap opera about love, family , hope forgiveness, redemption the skywalker saga is a family saga about the skywalker family killing off ben breaks that for it ends the saga in tragedy where every last skywalker has died the line has ended palpatine won bens abusers won

george lucas quote about story being a family-oriented fairytale of hope, love and redemption (not to mention he hates killing anyone unnecessarily bens death wasnt necessary and goes against star wars themes

George Lucas: *talks for forty years about fairy tales and HEAs and not wanting to kill characters

( this is why lucas didnt kill any of the main cast be they the trio or otherwise and chewbacc killing off ( killing off ben goes against that ( ben was a mc he was part of the narrative trio ( no matter how many antis try to claim otherwise and claim it was rey finn and poe when no ) or act like bendemption wasnt set up from day one. ( ben, rey, and finn were all main characters

on the comparison between benVader died as a middle-aged man in ill health with two living children who would carry on in the light after a golden period in his life where he was a prosperous jedi knight, Ben died a healthy 30-year-old with no family or good phase in his life, plus Vader's sacrifice was instrumental in his redemption while Ben's sacrifice happened after redemption out of narrative contrivance, they are not the same

@emeraldspiral

@a-manda-lorian

@frumfrumfroo

#ben solo deserved to live #ben deserved better #save ben solo #anti tros #star wars #ben solo #ben solo deserved better

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

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demonicintegrity · 4 years ago

Text

oKAY heres the details on that depressing Devildice human highschool au i made with a friend back around 2017/2018. Kinda a mess so bare with me. long post with themes of abuse, depression, and other nasty stuff.

- Lucifer Angelo grew up in a pretty bad place in Texas. The details werent fleshed out other than that it was a pretty ignorant place.

- The important fact of the matter is that his dad (who we never did settle on a name for lol) was a Christian preacher. Charismatic man, but an absolute shithead to Lucifer. Even with his other kids he was strict and pushed his ideals and plans onto them. Also had a temper and a loud voice.

- Preacher Angelo was once a pretty alright man, although very self-centered and was pretty condensing. He had a marriage early on in his life and had a few kids, named after archangels. Marriage fell through, and he starts drinking and moves on the next one a bit after. Have a couple more sons named after archangels. It also falls apart. On number 3? he has the final sons to complete his arch angel themed kids. At first it was just in honor/inspired by the angels and his Christian lifestyle, tho i think around the second marriage is where he just started getting delusional and started thinking himself as godlike and thought his sons will spread his word and whatever. Needlessly to say, his partners once they found this out went :/ and it went downhill from there.

- Man we really just took every flaw and worse thing to have in a parent and shoved it into this bastard lmao

- Lucifer was actually the product of an affair within his final marriage. Ofc cheating was a dealbreaker and they divorced. The girl he was cheating with stuck around a little bit, but died in childbirth due to complications. Thus he was left with this child that wAs BoRn FrOm SiN so he named him Lucifer. He would be his son of sin while his other sons would be Perfect People. (Even though they and their mothers started to want nothing to do with him lmao)

- He got by and took care of Lucifer decently but because this was an AU of Angst(TM) Preacher Dickhead became an alcoholic, had money troubles over time because economy troubles or whatever, and took out his temper on his son more and more. Luci was taken to church every Sunday by his dad.

- Kingsley Dyce was born in Lousiana to his parents Patrick and Fahri. We had a whole separate story for Fahri’s family and how they met, it was cute but that’s completely irrelevant right now. They lived modestly and were technically stable but there wasn’t always extra money for fun stuff and there were times were they were just getting by, but they never let Kingsley onto it.

- Kingsley (nicknamed King or KD by his friends) was a pretty cool kid. Had fun in Louisiana despite being a bit flamboyant and full of himself, made good friends. His relationship with his parents were fairly okay. He was a total mama’s boy, loves his mother to death and would do anything for her. As he became a teen his relationship with his father got a bit more strained because Patrick was a very Traditional person and into his teenage hood Kingsley had a habit of dancing not-so-masculine or modestly. He also was getting into makeup.

- Stepping back tho, as a kid he was in the church choir. His family is Catholic and his parents took him to church every Sunday. His favorite activity was to rollerskate. He and his friends were always skating to each other’s houses or skating at the rink. Skating, video games, and singing was his life.

- During his 6/7th grade his family moved to Maryland because of a job opportunity. King was suuuupper bummed. Maryland isn’t like Louisiana at all so there was an adjustment curve. Despite that, he didn’t have a hard time make friends. (insert humanized casino crew here)

- Side note: KD had a tooth gap as a kid and got braces during middle school to correct it. It gave him a lisp. He also had glasses and a questionable sense of fashion throughout middle school. This isn’t super relevant but its important to me that you can imagine this kid as the doofus he was. He also was roughly at an average height.

- In 8th grade there was a new kid that came into his class; Lucifer. Luci’s dad had also moved to Maryland for a job. Despite his entire class wondering what the hell was this southern emo kid’s problem, he wasn’t overtly bullied, just ignored. KD however, was intrigued by this asshole and made it his goal to figure out his issue and be all up in his business.

- Luci is currently dealing with some of his hardest years here. In Texas he had a hard time making friends, was bullied, and wasnt surrounded by the best sort of people. His abuse was getting worse as his father struggled more and more, and the move wasn’t the greatest fix considering he was still drinking and getting himself into debt. Luci didn’t care about school nor about life in general. But then this asshole waltz into his life and boy golly was he feeling things about it.

- The relationship at first just KD latching onto Luci and talking to him about any and everything and trying to drag him around town. Slowly, Lucifer began to be amused by this jerk and his friends. He also didn’t live too far away so KD was able to easily bike to his place even though he never wanted KD over.

- KD picked up on the abuse Luci was going through, and honestly didn’t know to confront it. At first it was just sharing food cuz Luci wouldn’t eat and chatting to him because he got uncomfortable seeing Luci alone with head down all the time. Eventually he talked to his mom about it and the two of them kept inviting Luci over. Fahri became the mom Luci never had and Patrick despite working long hours and extra shifts, would take time to give Luci practical lessons and be a better masculine figure in his life. Luci was slowly being given a family but he also was pulling away from it. He was in the midst of a depression and he was pretty mean to everyone to deal with it, and pulled to himself more as he began to love KD and his family. The new friendships doesn’t cure depression, nor was it helpful against abuse.

- TW under break for more details of abuse, neglect, depression, and suicide

- His abuse was verbal and physical. He got yelled at for being a failure, yelled at because he didnt care about school, drunk his fathers booze, got into trouble and lashed out. He got beat for back talking and whenever the drunk asshole wanted to fight with him. It had been going on for years. He was also neglected pretty bad. Food wasn’t super plentiful in the house, he lived on fast food and luci didnt know how to cook. There was more booze in fridge than food. Power/water would sometimes not be on if his father forgot about certain bills. It was bad.

- Some time during this 8th grade year he also developed a crush on KD, he didnt voice it because his dad was homophobic as shit but also because he certainly didnt know how to navigate love and didnt want to ruin his relationship with KD. So he repressed it.

- Also during this 8th grade year Luci tried to commit suicide. He had texted KD before hand too, with some note that boiled down to he cared a lot about KD but couldnt stand anything in the world/his dad/bringing KD down/whatever and it was obviously a suicide note. KD freaked out and immediately got his ass over there, kicked down the door, and found Luci in his dad’s room with his dad’s gun to his head. I don’t think we ever settled on the details of the situation but it was traumatizing for both individuals to say the least. KD was able to talk him out of it.

- That incident made them inseparable. Luci never had someone care for him like that, cry for him like that. KD had grown attached and close enough to consider him his best friends, the incident only solidify his want to make his best friend’s life better. It was a rough few months after that and KD was sworn to never tell his parents what happened.

- TBH that was about the worse of it, this was an high school AU and high school became a bit better for them in certain regards. KD got his braces off, got contacts, and had one helluva growth spurt going into HS. Luci went deep into a punk-emo phase his freshman year which killed his fashion, but was slowly becoming a bit more confident in himself. KD and his parents were able to help him a lot. Emotional support, practical life lessons, and food was always a given.

- Its a bit of an up and down throughout high school. KD gets into makeup, heels, dancing, and bisexuality and it causes a major strife with him and his dad who wanted a “real” son. The relationship went through major struggles and would take a couple years to really heal.

- Luci struggles a bit with drinking and deals drugs and booze to get his own spending money. He starts somewhat taking his school seriously, but even though he does work in class he doesnt always do homework or projects and whatnot. He has a habit of physically intimidating other students and occasionally tries to pick fights.

- The “casino gang” also have their own things going on. If a recall correctly, Wheezy was also in a neglectful house, Pip and Dot ( ??? and Dorothy) were twins from a wealthy well off family but were ignored and were terribly bratty, Piroeutta was just an quiet Russian outcast, Mango had 7 siblings and no space to himself and who was bullied for his large off-putting appearance, Chips was just loud, and i completely forgot what everyone else’s deal was. KD and Luci mainly hung out with Chips, Piro, Pip, and Dot. They were still pretty close to the others but those four were the only ones they regularly hung out with at lunch and outside of school.

- There are a couple things that could happen throughout high school. My personal fav i can remember is a particular angst with KD trying to get with another dude and Luci being Upset and lashing out at him at a party result and ugh that scenario was angsty but also turned very cute???

- Regardless, when they do get together they’re unstoppable tbh.

- and yes, the gang would readily throw hands with anyone who said shit. Barely any of them care about suspensions.

- I kinda forget a bit of stuff. I know misc. scenarios here and there both fluffy and angsty, but this post is already long enough lmao so feel free to hit up my ask box with any questions/comments. I dont really think Ill come back to this au?? If i do Im gonna edit a ton of stuff because looking back certain themes and scenarios seem borderline insensitive and/or poorly thought out. I did found a fic of this au on my phone with KD and Luci as adults tho and Im v tempted to rewrite some of it and finish it because it was good.

#long post #tw abuse #tw physical abuse #tw verbal abuse #tw suicide #suicide mention #cuphead dont deal with the devil #ch devil #King dice #devildice #snakeeyes

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