#it adds a crunch and some spice

[tony-andonuts]

Okay yall, please put kimchi and spring onions in your grilled cheese, I swear it goes fucking hard

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

I'm not sure why crispy chickpeas aren't everywhere as like a top ADHD snack because they are:

Delicious (so you will actually seek them out/want to eat them)

Crispy (a good stim for texture people)

Easy to make (super hands off, they just roast for like 30 minutes while you do something else)

Healthy (it's literally just beans! Such protein!)

Versatile (you can switch up the seasonings if you get tired of one flavor; you can also put them on/in a bunch of different dishes)

Cheap AF & forgiving of your timeline (a can of chickpeas won't go bad in your pantry if you don't have the energy to make something with them this week)

So here's the resippy.

Cooked chickpeas (I usually use one can)

Olive oil

Salt

Paprika or curry powder or rosemary or your favorite spice (optional)

Steps:

Drain and rinse your chickpeas.

Dump them onto a towel or paper towel and rub them dry a bit.

Remove any loose skins. If you're feeling extra you can remove all the skins; this makes them slightly crispier. I do not find this to be worth it.

Put them on a baking sheet (lined with parchment paper if you want to save yourself some cleanup). Toss with a drizzle of olive oil, a generous pinch or two of salt, and your seasoning.

Roast in your oven. I usually do 400°F for about 25-30 minutes, but this is pretty forgiving and you can do 425 for 20 minutes or whatever you want to do

Taste a chickpea. It should have an audible crunch. If it doesn't, put it back in until it does

When done, taste for seasoning and add any additional salt or seasoning you want. Proceed to devour them.

These are best fresh, but I still like them later on (if I don't eat them all right away). Store in an airtight container for a couple days at room temp or a few days in the fridge.

Enjoy!!

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hello there, friend I'm here for fluff

OK, this has been on my mind for a while

But like

The reader is just becoming the biggest parent to the Benny's adventure team kids

And the wolfs

We are like a parent of like 27

Knitting and making food brushing razors hair(let's be for real, you would hear a crunch when you brush it)

I'm not gonna lie

Do these kids know what spices are?

Cuz when I think about it

Razor hasn't had shit so he's has the least tolerance for spice

He would probably cry if you feed him a pepper

Bennett has tried spicy food but does go well with it

And not completely sure if fischl has had a spicy food before

But what flavor does mondstadt add to their food??

These kids need the damn flavors

AHDHAKALL FERAL ANIMAL AQUARIUS- ANOTHER PLATONIC ASK AAHHHHGGGGDJJSFHSAK!!!!!

AND ITS YOU!! ITS- ITS- ONE OF THE WRITING RULERS OF SAGAU (FOR ME AT LEAST) <3 !!!!!!!!

You cooking in genshin all anime studio ghibli style looking like food from god (literally): ⬆️

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Benny’s Adventure Team! (Bennett, Fischl, Razor), Diluc, mentions of other Mond characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

^^ The posts being referenced in ask, (OG Razor ask) (Benny + Razor) and a more direct sequel, a part 2? a part 4 atp?? of this post (Imposter/Not Dark AU + Razor + Diluc) ^^

OMFG

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BITCHES

SINCE UR IN TEYVAT

YOU GONNA COOK LIKE TEYVAT

AS IN-

SHIT BE SUPER EASY TO COOK, AND MASS MAKE DEPENDING ON COMPLEXITY OF DISH

(So, like Zhongli's special Bamboo Shoot Soup is like getting made... once a year if you read the little desc. for that dish 💀)

AND THEYRE ALL LIKE-

ANIME GORGEOUS FOODS ✨️❤️‍🔥

OKAY SO

PROMO TIME-

U GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THE ANIME "CAMPFIRE COOKING IN ANOTHER WORLD"

Bc that's mostly where this inspo gonna come from to both be realistic cooking + best parts of video game cooking

A guy gets isekai’d and instead of hero powers he just gets the skill of "online grocery shopping" LMAO

and ofc he gets insta gifted whatever he orders and starts making dishes and adding spices and regular stuff you know. like soy sauce.

but the best part is the food in that world is like British medieval soup shit

like barely salted, no spices definitely, no sauces, its barren

so he ends up attracting all kinds of interest that want to eat his cooking ofc

And it gives buffs too!

dw i didnt spoil anything u don't learn in the first episode, but that's just to say that's exactly whats happening here

u DO have to manually collect more ingredients but its so worth it, also u can just buy in bulk or put a commission thru the adventurer guild

tbhhh now that i say that, that could be how u end up drawing in Benny’s Adventure Team even more, bc they just take all ur quests for collecting ingredients around Mond!!

(u have to actively sneak behind their back and whisper to Katheryne that you want to put in other food quests in other guilds tho, silly kids will absolutely go running around Liyue and crazy shit just to have an adventure and do smth for you + eat ur banger food lol)

omfg the first time u barbecue smth???

the wolves, Razor, and Andrius??? Go feral.

Fischl and Benny who were already on their way to u guys to hang out again start booking it thru the woods, dodging hilichurl camps (thatve since settled down and been v peaceful to the wolves + anyone in the woods of Wolvendom after u started living there)

they knowww ur cookin smth fucking amazing

(and u even have some hilichurls and mitachurl that wander close to Andrius’ edge of the woods to shyly beg for scraps,, u give them a portion)

Razor was actually lookin at u like u hung the stars just for him when u gave him a homemade barbecue sauce to put on his food

(u acc may have done that to Teyvatians according to Andrius + the stories u overheard from Springvale…)

ok but the amount of begging u get for desserts like-

No, Razor u cannot have chocolate cake/cupcakes after every meal, u need to take care of ur teeth

(u use ur collection of mora-monster-donations for comms for more ingredients and living supplies like fabric + furniture, u cant afford dental on top of that for ur boy)

Fischl dutifully declares you the “best chef in the kingdom” and writes down all ur recipes (u have them auto-stored in ur settings obv but it cant hurt to have a physical copy, and they look so happy doing it, u don't have the heart to tell them its not necessary-)

Benny insists on both giving u extra ingredients when he takes ur commissions, and giving u handmade trinkets or weapons for the meals!!

No!! He will not take “im good” for an answer!! ur sharing ur home-cave with him, taking care of his best friend Razor, and now feeding him food better than Liuli Pavilion!!! There’s no way he can just take all that and give nothing back!!!!

and theyre not the only ones getting some food tbh

when the knights begin patroling near Wolvendom and slowly all of Mondstadt to search for their “All God”, u break up the beginnings of a fight between 2 confused knights and the now peaceful hilichurl camp at the edge of Wolvendom

U offer some snacks u were going to give Benny’s Adventure Team when they got back (u made little triangle sandwiches, rice balls, etc. finger foods, and u made plenty extra bc u kno their teenage appetites lol)

the knights and hilichurls nearly cried with appreciation, which made for a hilarious sight when the teens actually showed up lmao

ur wearing ur cloak, bc u dont wanna take on that whole “creator of worlds” title just yet, and the kids helped verify u werent anyone suspicious (Benny + Fischl keep ur godly secret, theyre the best like that 🥰)

the knights just swing by for snacks occasionally (they also either pay u in trade or with mora, theyre not bullies)

another person who gets flavored food privileges is the lazy librarian witch herself

u also sometimes pick Razor up from Lisa’s tutoring and bring “the best tea and tea snacks in the world” along with to share with Lisa and him

(she is also fully aware after awhile of meeting u of what u are, and fully believes this is why the food must be enchanted to be so good, but u dont want to be treated super reverently she can tell, so she keeps ur secret too and is just extra flirty when u come by lol)

(Razor refuses to let his pare- Lupical move out of ur cozy cave to the library, so he sometimes hauls u away when Lisa flirts too much LMAO)

…and the moment you've been waiting for.

Yes, Diluc got to try ur food that night he was searching Wolvendom for signs of the god of Teyvat

tbh Diluc was half-convinced that shit was a fever dream.

a bunch of sleepy wolves, a coffee table in the stone colosseum, a giant spirit wolf licking a big plate clean, the wolf-kid glaring at him, and you.

you with gold eyes, staring right thru his soul, like you already know everything there is to know about him, (like the way Kaeya looked at him that night),

like he doesnt even have to introduce himself

and he doesnt, u just lightly smack Razor’s hands until he gets rid of his claymore w/a pout, since Diluc had long since dropped his,

and grab a plate, piling on what leftovers u could, and turn back around from the coffee table to smile at him, patting the cushion-seat beside u for him to join

The giant glowing wolf licks his lips and watches him, the wolf-kid’s creepily watches him, and you, with eyes gold in teh light of a simmering bonfire just past the table, watch him

he just sits down and begins to eat.

its the best food he’s ever had, its his dad’s favorite dish, but not realistically, but the way memory embellishes a dish so much it can never be tasted again, except its right here. in front of him. u pour some wolfhook juice for him, and offer him a napkin to wipe his mouth and eyes

Diluc visits often after that, obviously.

u give him snacks too, and when he lets the staff try some, Adeline will not stop harassing him abt gettin ur recipes/ingredeints so u get him to pay Fischl to get a copy of their recipe book :)

including blank pages for future entries, and Fischl is literally glowing with happiness, would not stop monologuing abt ur food for weeks (send help Oz wants some peace and quiet sometimes)

Oh Diluc absolutely told the Favonius knights he found you. But he’s not saying where LMAO

Jean is actually begging him, Diluc ik u hate the knights but this is an international investigation-

this is the closest Diluc has ever gotten to getting under Venti’s skin.

when he told him this at Angel’s while bartending, he just casually ofc said this, just his smug little smirk, and the anemo god cracked a glass and everything- esp when he said he tried ur cooking??

he's gotta start looking over his shoulder in the city bc not only is Venti stalking him, the entirety of Mondstadt’s citizens are glaring at him in envy everywhere he goes LMAOO

(Venti now has a bar glass or too on his tab to pay off as well)

mans is literally paying u in weapon/artifact materials/mora to make him lunch one day and Venti nearly lunges over the counter

(Diluc purposefully ate it in front of him 💀)

ur food is the ultimate, “u could make a religion out of this!” /ref

like Diluc fully gives u offerings of ingredients he can pay for shipping from other countries + along with regular materials after grinding in domains

does the rest of Mondstadt + the world find out where u are?

only if Diluc lets them tbh. LMFAO

☆

bk trashfire my beloved <3 love ur ideas and stuff, goes without even saying im so sorry i took actually forever to respond :’(

hope u have a great weekend and i did this little side story justice for you

Safe Travels BK Trashfire,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[wolfiesmoon]

Hiiii! (I hope this is the place to make requests aaaaa haven’t done this in a W H I L E) but can I request pocky challenge headcanons for Floyd, Vil, and Idia? :)

Hope you’re having a great week and I love your writing :D

the way i freaked out over receiving this omg i'm so happy u like my writing😭😭😭

i love pocky challenge fics and you really fed me with the characters you chose since I have like 3467346826428 vil and idia drafts i can't get into rn. also we already know how my brain is rotting over floyd the eel boy at the moment

ALSO ALSO ALSO you aren't dating yet in these!! you're still just friends (but not for long😈)

(@kairiscorner i borrowed ur idea of picking out what flavour would fit them to add a little spice, I hope u don't mind!)

☾⋆⁺₊ Floyd Leech + Pocky Colorful

he gets really excited when you pull out the box of pockies 😆i mean, sharing food with you????? that's, like, the third best thing he can do with you!

and these pockies look rlly funny too, what does "colorful" even taste like? He's kinda in a mood to find out 😌

and gets even MORE excited when you mention the challenge!!!!

I mean, kissing AND sharing food with you?! he calls that a win for sure 😤😤😤😤

you're rlly surprised at how casual he is about it considering you just challenged him to try and kiss you essentially

but okay, i guess it is kinda Floydcore to just casually agree to a pocky game with no blushing or getting flustered (i suppose this means he likes you back??? what a mystery he is...)

you laugh to yourself at the silly grin on his face as u pull out a pocky and place one end into your mouth, leaning towards him to let him take the other end

he does so and you close your eyes, feeling kinda giddy all of a sudden

but you can still feel his downturned peepers staring a hole into you, curious to see every facial movement and reaction you may have👁️👁️

he must be really excited then!! (even if you feel extremely unsettled rn)

you slowly bite down on the stick, getting nervous. you can definitely hear him crunching on it too...

you can feel his breath, your noses bump for a moment and you think "THIS IS IT THIS IS IT THIS IS IT"

but then you hear a *snap* and the pocky falls out of your mouth... what just happened?

"I bit into it a bit too hard..." You open your eyes to see Floyd pouting like a toddler who was told he can't have candy

"It's okay, we can do it again!" you take out another pocky stick, placing the end in your mouth and looking at him expectantly

must be hard having such sharp teeth sometimes💔

"Now I don't feel like it anymore." Floyd huffed, getting up and walking away💀

That little... you still love him anyway tho🤷🏻

☾⋆⁺₊ Vil Schoenheit + Apple Yogurt Pocky

initially, he'd refuse since pockies are sweets and he needs to watch his sugar if he wants to keep his model figure and his clear skin

but he supposes sugar is nice to enjoy every once in a while (especially if he gets to share it with you)

but THEN you ask him if he's ever heard of the pocky challenge before😈

"I have heard of it in passing but I don't know what is actually is, why?" he raises an eyebrow, recalling some comments from his fans talking about it after the Pocky commercial he was in

"Becauuuuse, I think you should do it with me." you blink at him innocently before going on to explain the rules and seeing his eyes widen 😌

"So, what you're saying is... If neither of us back out, we kiss?"

WAIT WHAT

You actually expected him to turn you down immediately and chew you out for even making the suggestion since you're just friends but this certainly took a turn for the better

"Precisely." you smirked

"Just so you know, I'm not one to back out once I set my mind onto something." he smirked back at you, taking out a pocky stick from the box and placing it in front of your mouth for you to bite onto

the stick slowly begins to get smaller as your lips inch closer to his and you grip the couch you're currently sat on nervously

You take another bite and suddenly feel his lips on yours🤭

SUCCESS! SUCCESS! SUCCE-

"Oh? This is an interesting flavour~"

wait... you recognise that voice😨

"ROOK?!" the two of you separated and yelled at the same time, then turned your heads to see Rook casually enjoying your Pocky beside you

"Did you both enjoy the flavour as well?" Rook smiled innocently at you, taking out another one from the box

Vil pinched the bridge of his nose, mumbling something under his breath while you just sat there in shock🧍🏻

☾⋆⁺₊ Idia Shroud + Sakura Pocky

being the candy enjoyer that he is, he would never turn down free pocky (especially not his favourite... which speaking of, how did you know that one is his favourite?)

(ortho supplied you with that information)

however, his smile dropped when you started talking about the challenge all of a sudden

and he became all red instead🤭

"You got all that?" you asked, waving the pocky stick in front of his face with an innocent smile

"D-Do I- Do I...."

babe, he cannot form a sentence right now, much less process anything you just told him. you cannot POSSIBLY expect him to give you a clear answer right now🙄

"Oh, do you not wanna do it? That's fine." you get up, ready to leave (you're doing this on purpose, manipulation is key😈)

but no, seriously, you weren't going to make him do anything he was uncomfortable with, and you kinda expected a reaction like this anyways😭

"N-No, No, I want to..." he grabs onto your sleeve awkwardly, literally shaking from embarrasment

you're actually kinda worried, will he even survive till the whole kiss part?

No time like the present to find out, you suppose

you place the pocky in your mouth, waiting for him to bite into the other end. he does and immediately screws his eyes shut, WAAAY too embarrased to look at you

the distance between the two of you slowly closes but when there's just a bit of the pocky stick left he lets go and immediately runs away, hair slightly red at the ends😫

"Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god...." he whispers to himself over and over, thinking about how he almost kissed you just now

atleast he got to eat his favourite flavour...????

"Did it fail?" Ortho came out of his hiding spot and you nodded, pouting slighly☹️

"That's plan G crossed off the list. You wrote down '7 minutes in heaven' for plan H. Though I do not know what that is, I will assist you in any way I can."

[autisticlancemcclain]

“You’re not going.”

Keith picks his head up from the table. “Huh?”

“To the Blades,” Lance clarifies, chopping up something that looks like a bright pink potato and throwing it in a rapidly boiling pot in what Keith would call an aggressive manner. “You’re not going.”

“…I didn’t say I was.”

He didn’t. He didn’t mention anything about the Blades to any living soul. Like, yeah, he had made the decision and was going to, but.

There’s no reason Lance should know that.

“Good, then, because I took your uniform — which looks like a slutty catsuit, by the way, just so you’re aware — to the incinerator last night. It’s ash now.”

Keith stares at his best friend, jaw dropped, hands resting limply on the edge of the dining table, because — huh? pardon? what happened?

“Whatever identity crisis you’re having can happen here,” Lance adds, shaking some spices into the boiling pot and stirring it a couple times. He dips in a spoon, brings it up to his lips, then makes a face. “Here, try this.”

He marches over to where Keith has been moping as he makes dinner and shoves a spoon into his gaping mouth. Keith chokes, hot stew making its merry way down his trachea, eyes watering and chest heaving.

“A little too salty,” he rasps.

Lance scowls. “Fuck. I knew it. Gotta add more barbie potatoes.” He turns down the heat, grabbing more potatoes from the sack and busying himself with peeling them. Slowly, as he recovers from the fear of his actual lungs collapsing in on themselves, Keith stands, hesitantly approaching Lance and reaching for a knife to chop what he peels.

“So,” he starts.

Lance ignores him.

But Keith is used to this dynamic. It’s either this or flipped. Friends or not, if there’s one thing they can’t do it’s use their big boy words. So he carries on.

“I take it you…don’t want me to go, then.”

Lance grunts. “Oh, look, the caveman has room in his skull for a brain after all.”

“Uncalled for,” Keith says, scowling. “I am not the one who’s refusing to communicate right now.”

The corner of Lance’s mouth twitches upwards.

Score. Point to Keith.

“Obviously I don’t want you to leave, you stupid dumbass,” Lance admits finally. He wrestles the chopped roots out of Keith’s hands and practically dunks them in the pot, turning the heat back up. Keith smears his starch covered hands on his shirt in revenge (and then wisely takes three quick and giant steps back, well out of backhanding range).

“But there are too many paladins,” Keith points out. “You said it yourself.”

Lance grabs a dishtowel, twisting it menacingly in his hands. Keith tries not to think about the scar he knows Hunk has from when Lance snapped a towel at him when they were kids, wrestling in the McClains’ kitchen. He fails.

“Do you actually have any braincells left in your head at all?”

“Yes, jackass. That’s why I did the math. I leave and the numbers add back up. Problem solved.”

“You leave and Voltron falls apart,” Lance snaps. “So maybe crunch those numbers again.”

Keith stills. Lance steps towards him, still glaring, still menacing, but he doesn’t move — he holds Lance’s gaze, searching his dark eyes, looking for the words he isn’t saying. Because Keith…Keith isn’t the one holding Voltron together. There was a reason his heart caught in his throat when Lance came to him downtrodden and talked about being a seventh wheel. There’s a reason his duffel is packed, a reason he’s talked to Kolivan. He knows who needs to step aside.

“You just don’t get it,” Lance says, frustrated. He takes another step.

“You talk to us about teamwork all the time.”

Another step.

“You’re favourite thing to whine about is the bonding moment.”

Another step, this time as he pitches his voice high and mocking, flapping his hands.

“You never shut up about training as a group.”

One final step and he’s toe to toe, shoes to boots, nose to nose. Keith realises, startlingly, that they’re the exact same height, now.

“We are a crew, imbécil. Team, group, boyband. Whatever you wanna call it. All for one and one for all. The whole nine yards, all that cheesy bullshit.” He pokes Keith hard in the chest. “You don’t get to ditch.”

“But it makes more sense,” Keith argues, weakly and half-desperately. “We only have so many resources. If I can be useful at the Blades —”

“Fuck the fucking Blades.”

Keith deflates. His hand comes up to stop Lance’s jabbing finger, curling around his knuckles. Lance softens, slightly.

“I just want to be as useful as I can be.”

“And if you’re enough as you are?” Lance asks quietly.

Keith opens his mouth, but stops, automatic I’m not dying in his throat. For the first time in his life, it doesn’t seem like the truth, with the determined set to Lance’s jaw and the sliding of their fingers together, gripping tightly.

“Then I guess I’m staying,” Keith breathes.

Lance nods. “Good.”

Keith notices his hands are kind of clammy. His forehead, too, is a little sweaty. The air between them feels hot. Keith swallows.

“Your stew is on fire,” he croaks, voice rough.

Lance drops his hand, cursing.

“Oh — por amor de dios, hablas en fucking serio —”

———

At dinner, Keith eats his burnt stew without a word of complaint. When Lance drags him to the sink to help clean up, after, even though it’s not his turn, he goes, and he lingers too close and too long, and he’s grateful that the duffel he packed to leave home for good is laid emptied on his bed when he turns in for the night.

[netbug009]

okay so i have a hyperspecific theory that is probably not canon but i need to talk about. SO. CONCERNING JAX AND RAGATHA.

(This theory is NOT shippy in and of itself but I'm tagging the Jagatha fans because I think they'll like the potential of this - I hope that's okay!)

OKAY SO WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE NPC THEORY AND THE ORDER OF WHICH EVERYONE ARRIVED AT THE CIRCUS

Kinger was the first of the un-abstracted and Kaufmo (or at least before Ragatha if we don't take Jax's word for it) to arrive at the circus. I find it interesting that Gooseworx has been pretty staunch about not telling us more about the order, only confirming that the only character who could potentially have all of the information is the one incapable of remembering shit most of the time. That sure is convenient. What we DON'T get told tend to be as important as what we ARE told with this series, which leads my Charlie Day brain to think the order has an impact.

So, let's say Ragatha comes next.

WHAT IF, hear me out here, there was a moment when it was only Ragatha and an already pretty messed up Kinger, or maybe Kinger was just easy enough to talk into the idea at the time.

If Jax IS a rogue NPC that Caine forgot about, as so many have been theorizing... Who would be nice enough to bring them back?

Who would be nice enough to bring Jax back and continue to hide the fact that he is an NPC from Caine once Caine forgets? Who would be nice enough to continue to protect him even when he's being an absolute dick to everyone?

Y e a h. Funny how it's the same character who spends the most time being frustrated with him and legitimately trying to get him to be nicer.

I love this idea because not only does it make an alarming amount of sense, but it'd add so much ✨SPICE✨ to all those times Jax bullies Ragatha in particular. She has the power to out him and immediately get him killed. He knows she would NEVER and exploits this.

Like I said, this is so specific that we're almost moving from theory territory to fanfic territory, but I just love the potential CRUNCH of it? And if I am right I will forever be hailed as a genius so I've got nothing to lose besides the few people who still thought I was hinged for some reason. Jokes on you: I'm only hinged when I'm too depressed to be otherwise and my new meds are fucking WORKING.

[forgeofthenine]

So I met a fellow tiefling bachelors enthusiast and we got into a conversation about weather or not the three would like foods from earth. Specifically pizza. What do you think will happen when the modern s/o (post absolute) makes them pizza for the first time?

I've gotta admit Anon, this did end up becoming more of a broad 'modern food' reaction, but I did add all of their opinions on pizza! I hope you still enjoy it :)

How the tiefling bachelors react to modern food

Dammon

Dammon strikes me as the kind of guy that genuinely really likes pizza

He's not picky with food, you can top it with anything and give him any type of base and he'll still enjoy it

I actually think he'd like pizzas with unique toppings, he'd be big on olives on pizza, or Hawaiian style ones with pineapple, and he'd love dessert pizza

One of Dammons favourite at home date night ideas ends up being cooking up a pizza dinner together

Both of you filling the counter with potential toppings and very occasionally sabotaging each others pizza

He'd also like other more 'modern' foods, think hot dogs, popcorn, and shoe string style chips

Hot dogs in particular he'll happily load up with all the fixings, you'll start to wonder if he has more toppings than hot dog

Dammon is a defender of loaded fries too, and he's always offering you a taste of whatever topping combo he's come up with this time

Zevlor

I feel like Zevlor wouldn't be a big fan of pizza

Modern pizza chains would be too greasy for his taste and homemade pizza just doesn't hit the spot

I feel like if he could though, Zevlor would get really into modern barbeque and smoked meat culture

As soon as he realises the possibilities there's no stopping him

I think Zevlor would really vibe with burgers, particularly because with the right kind of meat and toppings it's not too greasy

A big fan of chicken burgers, and if he is making a burger with beef then he's a huge supporter of beetroot on burgers

He'd love having a wood smoker too, absolutely the type to put research and practice into making the best smoked brisket and smoked fish

The good food and sense of accomplishment really keep him circling back to the hobby, very quickly becoming an expert

Zevlor loves seeing your reactions to his latest food endeavours too

Rolan

Okay, I feel like Rolan has no strong opinions of pizza, hot dogs, or burgers

They're all something he where he could take it or leave it, not a big deal to him

He does appreciate it if you cook any of these for him though

However, there are some modern foods he absolutely loves

One of them is sushi, he's obsessed from first taste

Rolan loves a variety of sushi but his favourites include tuna, salmon, egg, and avocado

He likes that it's quick and easy to eat without him feeling bogged down afterwards

When he's wanting something a bit different he'd go for Korean fried chicken

I see Rolan as someone that handles spice really well and I think he'd enjoy some spicy fried chicken

Between the crunch as he bites into it and all the different spices used have him addicted

His love of spicy food doesn't end there though, this man would love biryani

The spicier the better for him

Unless you're also good with spice don't ask for a bit of Rolans food, or you might find your tongue burning

[tastesoftamriel]

You know those cheesy pasta dishes with all the fancy add-ins like heavy cream and garlic so we can all pretend to ourselves that we aren't just eating mac and cheese like overgrown children? What sort of equivalent dishes do the people of Tamriel enjoy, that are basically just dressed-up "kid food" dishes?

Who doesn't love a cheeky meal that brings back memories of childhood? Across Tamriel, you'll find all manner of simple, hearty foods that will make you feel like a kid again!

Altmer

In Summerset, young and old alike enjoy mochi, a tasty sweet snack made from chewy glutinous rice flour. Mochi comes in many varieties, with fillings like sweet peanut or black sesame paste. However, almost everyone's favourite is a cold mochi filled with soft gelato of various flavours. My favourite combination is matcha mochi wrapped around a moreish azuki bean ice cream centre.

Argonians

Is there anything that makes you feel more like a kid than some snacking? Argonians are huge fans of anything that packs a crunch, both sweet and savoury. Whether it's spicy and sweet crickets, dark saltrice sauce-coated mealworms, or just good old prawn crackers with some dipping sambal, be prepared to snack your way all day long in Black Marsh.

Bosmer

If you're one of those people who stands in the kitchen gnawing a block of cheese at midnight, you're in good company in Valenwood. A popular late-night treat served at street food vendors across the Province is a simple cup of grilled witchetty grubs slathered in timber mammoth cheese sauce and topped with pulled pork. The grubs are meaty in flavour, and the pungent timber mammoth cheese complements the pulled pork when mixed all together, as the locals enjoy it.

Bretons

Pain au chocolat? Yes please! These deliciously buttery puffed pastries are essentially rectangular croissants enveloping delicious dark chocolate. Served warm, they're sure to make any breakfast or teatime a happy one! To really satisfy those chocolate cravings, pair with a classic Breton hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows and whipped cream.

Dunmer

Marshmerrow cake is the ubiquitous Dunmeri dessert that has gained popularity far beyond the borders of Morrowind due to its mild flavour and unique candy aroma. A soft sponge cake, which is sometimes soaked in comberry brandy, is layered with sweet marshmerrow crème patissiere, caramelised marshmerrow crumble, and maraschino comberries. Sure to knock some years off your age and put a couple more holes in your belt (it's impossible to stop at one slice. Source: me).

Imperials

There's nothing quite like homemade gnocchi with ragout for Imperials when it comes to comfort food. While this homey dish is prevalent across Cyrodiil, every household cooks the dish differently. In mine, my mother pan-fries the gnocchi in an obnoxious amount of butter, and tops it with her top-secret slow-cooked lamb and red wine ragout. While I cannot give away the secrets to her ragout, I highly recommend trying this delicious dish a try when you need to warm yourself, body and soul.

Khajiit

If you think you can turn away cinnamon and cardamom churros with a cup of moon sugar caramel dip, you're deluding yourself. This delicious treat can be found across Elsweyr and is considered one of the Province's most famous foods. Khajiiti churros, which are made from a mix of rice and tapioca flour, have a moist and chewy texture beneath a crisp, golden brown outer layer. They're served hot from the wok, with a cup of moon sugar caramel syrup. A truly divine pairing!

Nords

Spätzle is something I've written about in the past, and it's one of the best things I know (ask any resident of Skyrim and they'd tell you the same). These chunky egg noodles may look unrefined compared to Khajiiti vermicelli, but make up for it when liberally doused in a creamy cheese sauce and topped with fried onions. I like spicing mine up, quite literally, with some chili powder I purchased at a Sentinel bazaar.

Orcs

Nothing screams comfort food (and mess) quite like a good old echatere sausage hot dog. The echatere sausage, rather akin to Blackwood chorizo in flavour, is grilled over hot coals and served in a sourdough bun, served Wrothgar style with a good amount of horseradish mayo, fried radish chips, caramelised onions, pickles, and crispy dried baby shrimp topping. I'd say you can't stop at just one, but it's a hefty meal you can eat with one hand!

Redguards

I have probably written about gulab jamun in the past, a delicious, albeit cloying dessert popular throughout Hammerfell. An iconic dish at festivals and parties, gulab jamun is prized by dessert-lovers for its velvety, syrupy texture. These fluffy balls of cardamom-scented cottage cheese are fried and soaked in a fragrant saffron and rose water syrup, and topped with crushed pistachios. So simple, so good, and so moreish. Just be sure to stop at three, because any more and the sugar rush will send you to Aetherius!

[thechillsquid]

Blind Eyes Au- Apologies

Okay so this was supposed to be a drabble writing but it just kept getting longer and kinda just became a whole oneshot so uh yeah

Warnings for some content: Casual body horror, heavily implied drinking various dangerous chemicals (but Bill’s fine he’s a demon but still), threats of violence, injury, blood, trauma, paranoia, panic, etc.

—

All things considered, Bill wasn’t doing too shabby, though perhaps he’d pushed it with that last drink he’d had, but cmon! How else was he supposed to get a good buzz when all this human liquor barely made him tipsy, cyanide always did add a little spice! Well, that and whatever else he’d poured into that red solo cup before swallowing it whole, he forgot what had all been under Tate’s sink.

He ran his tongue lazily over an eye (doing very inhuman things in a vaguely human shape was hilarious!) and swayed a moment as he tried to figure which way the shack was. Ugh, he rolled his eyes into the back of his head, letting the forest go still and silent around himself before snapping back to attention when he’d recalled the path.

The demon hummed to himself and when he swayed just once more too many times, he let the human guise crumble in on itself. There was one satisfying crunch, a few squelches for flavor, and he scurried along on an array of spindly legs, body more sleek and reptilian in nature as his now lone eye stared up at the sky in almost an absent nature.

He just wanted to get back home, gorge himself on whatever snacks were in the fridge, and then possibly fall asleep under Stan’s bed (a good hiding spot to avoid Fordsey’s vengeful stare). Bill didn’t even take a moment to think about who may have also been awake this late in the night, crawling about the building as he got closer.

He flicked out a black-forked tongue, skittering about the perimeter and making certain that Ford hadn’t found a way yet to expel him from the shack. He didn’t see anything notable, eyeing the ground as he cautioned a few steps at a time until right against the wall just shy the kitchen window.

With all the ease and elegance a drunk eldritch monster could manage, Bill slipped the window open and forced his mass through, spilling out into the surrounding area before picking himself back up. Literally, as in he had to scoop up parts of himself that tumbled off, whoops!

He squashed himself back together and crawled to the fridge, prying it open with gnashing teeth and twitching claws, multiple eyes peeling open to peer inside. Ugh, what did they have that no one would miss immediately… few eggs, like a cup of milk… lettuce… maybe some butter sticks would do for now…?

As he shifted into something more human adjacent again (made things easier with the stupid lil opposable thumbs and he was wayyyyy too drunk to float properly so lengthy hairless ape it was!) he just barely noticed a creak in the floorboards. He glanced over, slowly shoving a butter stick into his mouth, little plastic wrapping and all.

A chill ran down his spine as he saw none other than Stanford Pines standing there, just… greaaaat. Bill chewed his mouthful slowly, eyes glancing quickly to the window as he held the other butter stick. Would it be better for him to just leave or…?

His stupid drunk fucking mouth spoke for him, “Heeeeeeeyyyyy, gurrrrl, howww we doin?”

Bill mentally lit himself on fire. Ford stared, the bags under his eyes were heavy and dark, “What are you doing here, Cipher.” Oh yeeesh, there was that whole growl to the guys voice right now, properly pissed the hell off.

The demon casually held up the other stick of butter a bit higher, slurring his words, “Look… I’mma just here for likeee, uh, snack.”

“Get out,” the man said shortly.

An annoyingly reasonable voice in Bill’s head that sounded suspiciously like Fidds told him to just for once in his life do as he was told without a fight. The louder voice in his head however was a bit more stubborn. “Is that whatcha said to good ole Fez, too? I know you’re going to kick him out the very moment those kids leave, him and Fidds gone from your life the soonest time possible. You can’t stand none of us can you?”

Ford took a few dangerous steps forward and if Bill was admittedly a bit more sober he would have noticed the way one of the guy’s hands was settled suspiciously over one hip. However, all he could focus on was the utter anger that flashed through the man’s eyes, the sheer hatred that sat there. “Dont talk like you know my brother or friend, demon,” he spat.

“I’ve known them longer than you cared to,” he responded snidely, moving to turn back to the fridge’s contents. That’s when he made his second grave mistake after not leaving when first told, turning his back on one of the most dangerous people in the multiverse besides himself.

There was a sound of fabric, the deep rumble of an inhuman snarl, and the cold metal of something being pressed to the back of Bill’s head. Ah. That was probably not good.

“What’s your game, Cipher?” Ford’s words were a low hiss now, right next to his ear, “If you even lay a finger on any of my family—“

“I care about them, too.” The words again slipped from his mouth on their own accord, Bill flinching harshly at his own words. Oh he had not meant to say that—

The gun clicked and he stilled, carefully settling his snack back on a shelf as he slowly moved to hold his hands up in surrender. He wasn’t sure what kind of a gun was against his head and he was realizing fast that unless he wanted to cause a whole fiasco, he better sober up and soon.

“I’m going to kill you,” Ford said in a hoarse voice.

Bill was surprised he hadn’t pulled the trigger already, giving out a weak chuckle, “Fordsey, there are kids asleep upstairs, how’s bout we—“

“Don’t! Dont bring them into this!”

The demon twitched at the man’s volume, listening tensely for any sounds of activity other than the panicked breathing from Fordsey behind him. “Okay— okay,” he finally agreed, hands still raised in the air. Yikes this was going south fast, wasn’t it? He swallowed down a giggle, but well well well— if it wasn’t the consequences of his own actions come to bite him in the angle once again!

“Why are you really here, Cipher?”

He was asking himself the same damned thing the longer this went on. “I dunno,” he sighed, cautiously turning his head so he could see the other. Being a bit closer to the man certainly made the bloodshot eyes more notable, as well as the subtle shake in the man’s stance. “Here… how bout we just go outside and talk…?”

“Why the hell would you want to do that,” the way Ford bared his teeth must have been a habit picked up from his travelings, it looked nearly feral. Bill kind of liked it, pausing to mentally brush the thought aside. Focus! There is a gun to your head that might actually be able to kill you and a very, very pissed Fordsey wielding it!

“Because, if you shoot me in here, you might shoot through some structural support and end up hurting someone else,” he said slowly, it was always good to play to Sixer’s logic when he got worked up. Though he also never thought that something like this would happen, so, maybe he was making a bigger gamble than he was realizing?

Thankfully, it seemed to make the guy think just a bit about where they were, his eyes darting away just a moment to glance out the room. “Make one wrong move and I’ll kill you.”

“It’s a d—“ Bill quickly bit his tongue, “Yup. Whatever you say.”

Ford kept the gun at his head as they made their way outside, Bill closing one eye to briefly check on the others in the shack, relieved and a bit annoyed that everyone was still sleeping away. Easing himself down, the demon sat down and glanced up at Ford, as long as the human was in a position of power and control, hopefully that’d help calm him some.

“You wanted to talk,” the man scowled, “So talk.”

“Thank you.” Bill could see the way Ford stiffened, a brief look of confusion crossing over his face before melting back into annoyance as the demon kept talking, “I really don’t want, you know, trouble or anything here, pal—“

Ford snatched him up by the collar of his shirt, honestly it was pretty impressive how quickly he moved at his age, “I’m not your pal.”

He nodded easily, “Okay, okay, slip of the tongue, I’m sorry—“

He was let go suddenly and in his surprise at the sudden lack of contact, his face had a lovely meeting with the ground. He hissed, quickly popping back up, “Ow.”

Bill looked up and squinted, wiping at the blood dripping from his nose now. Ford was giving him one hell of a look right now. “What? I got somethin’ on my face or what?”

“You just, nevermind.” Ford eyed him a moment, “You can bleed?”

“You want a sample?” He mused, wiping the silvery gore from his hand off onto the ground, “I got a physical form nowadays so I gotta whole bunch of blood and guts and stuff in here.” He dusted himself off as he spoke, sitting criss-cross and letting his nose just bleed.

The gun lowered just a bit. Oh, the nerd totally wanted a sample, didn’t he? This… this might be a good way to get a truce going actually! He’d have to be careful with his apologizes, but maybe having something to focus on that was logical and quantifiable would ease Sixer’s paranoia and fears? Great! He was so clever, ha!

“How’s bout, I get let back in the shack, and I’ll answer whatever questions you can think up and you can collect just bout all the samples you could want? Blood, teeth, I got just about anything and everything.” He tilted his head, moving a hand up to carefully prod at his nose. Thankfully, it seemed the bleeding was chilling out, so that was good, he did not need questions from anyone else. “What do you say, IQ?”

“And if I refuse?”

“I… uh, I guess I’ll sleep in a tree or something…?” He gestured towards the woods with a shrug.

“…do you even need to sleep…?”

“I could ask you the same thing, eye bags.”

Ford scowled, “I wonder who’s fault that is.”

Aah. Yeaaaaah. Bill winced, shooting the guy finger guns, “My bad, I won’t push it.”

Sixer was giving him that weird look again and Bill steadily gazed back, waiting. “And whats the catch, what do you get out of this?”

“Outta what?” He asked, squinting.

“…this damned truce or whatever you want to call it you demon!”

“Oh. Oh yeaaaah,” he nodded, scratching at his chin thoughtfully. “So you want a cheap answer or a real one?” When Ford only stared at him, he held his hands up once more. “Alright, alright, look, I got a sweet gig going on here and I’m a bit drunk at the moment, but I kinda have grown to like this place and I might be engaged to Fidds, so yeah. Is kinda like I got family or something and I don’t want to lose it. Blah blah blah, emotional bullshit.”

“Yeah righ— what did you just say about you and Fiddleford—“

“He’s putting a ring on it,” he said proudly, holding a hand out and pointing at a finger, “Riiiiiigggghhht here, just uhhh. Wait fuck. Did I ask him yet… no he asked me I think? One of us did.”

“If you so much as—“

“Please just shut up, Ford.” Bill rubbed at the bridge of his nose, “I’ve heard that line so many fucking times by now, just. Do we got a truce or what?” Out of habit he held out a hand before catching the other’s look and quickly putting it down.

“I… suppose. For now.”

Bill gave a sigh of relief, “Amazing, now if you don’t mind, I’m going to crawl under Stan’s bed and pass the fuck out—“

“You’re what—“

“—byeeeeeeee!” He shot finger guns and before Stanford could change his mind, he melted into a puddle of black goo and eyes and slipped under the door leading back inside.

[blarefordaglare]

a fic where nobody dies :000

@kikker-oma embrace the deviousness

Let. Them. Eat. Dirt.

In which wild loses his inventory and takes revenge.

Wild is a petty man, but then again he had a right to do this, as the captain should have been proud of him for burning down the forest. Controlled fires are a thing, you know? 

But seems the old main didn’t like it, and managed to rope in all the boring ones into the plan. 

“Legend, have you seen my fire rod?”

Silence. 

“Legend?”

“I think it will do well in my inventory where it’s organized.”

“Come on! Don’t make me get… someone to kill you again!”

…

“fAthEr tImE, where are my bomb arrows?”

“Twi, where did you put my flame blade?”

“Captain, where is my barbarian armor?” 

The answer was always the same.

They took his most prized possessions, only one thing could be done. Justice must be served. Revenge, even, as it is a dish. Best. Served cold by Hyrule.

“Rulie, come heather.” The champion called out, “You shall cook with me today.” 

“See! I knew my cooking wasn’t that bad!” The traveler smiled, perfect. He doesn’t know the suffering he will help me inflict on the evil people who think they can take away my stuff. 

“Just throw in about two jars of Goron Spice and these vegetables I cut. Plus a cup of…” Wild took a jar of mud, “Special water.” 

“Are you sure? Those two peppers look very small.”

“We’re making soup.” 

“Oh alright then!” Hyrule immediately through the ingredients into the pot, and started cooking until the peppers were nice and charred and the “soup” had a faint ominous red glow.

“Perfect, thanks.” Wild smirked, “GUYS, DINNER!” 

…

“This is too spicy!” Legend complained, “Can you make something else?”

Wild took his ladle, scooped it in dirt, and placed it in a bowl. “Here.” 

“Why is there mud in this? Champ, this doesn’t seem right.” Time muttered under his breath, “We still have those oats right? I’ll have that.”

Wild took the box of oats, and added some pebbles for added “crunch”. “Here.” 

“It is lacking vegetables. Wild, can you please add some more?” Oh, how sweet Sky was. He will get the good soup. 

“Here you go Sky, I saved some soup in my slate when we visited Skyloft.” 

“I don’t understand why you guys have so many complaints, soup tastes fine to me.” Hyrule rolled his eyes.

“Does this man HAVE tastebuds?”

“Probably not.”

“Coronavirus?” Four smirked.

“That’s it. Seems like none of you guys like me and ‘Rule’s hard work cooking.” Wild snatched the bowls, “Dinner is on the floor today.”

“But we’re starving for real food!” Wind cried.

“Let. Them. Eat. Dirt.” 

[lucraven]

how would Laios and crew cook the scarabs

OOOOOOO I LOVE THIS They're classified as insectoids which makes me believe that they're closer to a monster than demihuman despite their faces? Mastery over insects works on them too (which means they're similar to insects BUTTTT they're also sentient.... the party wouldn't know this though). I feel like Marcille and Chilchuck would be very hesitant to eat it. Laios obviously not at all, and Senshi may have some more knowledge about it.

I wish we could see the underside of them!!! I would assume that the face is the shell (the eyes/nose/mouth may be fake? no idea but I'll get to this later) and the underside is softer. Some of the limbs are more human-like than others, but we can assume none of them are actual human flesh. It's more mimickry like the barometz tasting like crab (not actually a sheep).

There must be some sort of flesh on the inside though, so I think you could eat the limbs. If they're like insects then the outside might be like a shell, but they look kind of fleshy. Basically, you can eat them but some may have to be prepared differently. They might taste different too!! Not sure what though lmao.

As for the shell/face, when you use 'devour' in game, it says that the shell was too crunchy for your liking. They also can't be skinned. I originally thought that they could be used as a plate/bowl as it's mentioned they are very sturdy, but now I'm unsure. Maybe you could harden them after removing the innards? Or they could just be eaten with the crunch.

Innards time!! They spray acid from the holes in the shell!! Definitely remove any toxic organs, specifically anything connecting to this point. I don't know what specific organs they might have, but if you cook them enough they might be edible? It would be safer to eat the parts closer to the limbs just in case though. Also! To test if something is acidic you could open an organ and place it upon something to see what it does?

Okay now for the actual preperation except I don't cook: Prep: Laios would suggest to eat it obviously, and the typical shenanigans ensue. Senshi would first take off the limbs just in case the acid spreads out when taking it apart (defense mechanism??) while it is flipped shell-side down (again, avoid the acid). Then open the inside (skinning doesn't work so I'm unsure of the details) and inspect the organs. While Senshi takes them out, Laios and Marcille check out the limbs. Marcille takes care of the less humanoid limbs, cracking them open. Laios cuts away the meat from the bone(?) to make it look less human. He gives Senshi the hands. Chilchuck meanwhile is with Senshi sorting organs. He suggests cutting open organs to see if they are acidic. By now the innards are stripped except for the ones connected to the "mouth/nose/eyes", aka where the acid comes out from. Senshi thoroughly cleans these while Chilchuck tests the organs.

Cooking: Senshi starts the meal by preparing a stock for soup. Previous vegetables/spices etc. For the meat he uses the hands that Laios gave him for flavor (think of adding bones to stocks). As that develops, He salts the organs deemed safe to add to the soup when some time has passed (do people do this?? idk). I think the insect-like limbs would be boiled like shellfish in water, or added to the soup to cook. Meanwhile, Laios works on grilling the human-like limbs after salting them. A few are just salted/peppered, and some have sauce on them. They're made like skewers with some previous veggies. Finally, the shell is delt with. These are thoroughly cooked in a way that would soften them a little, but they're still crunchy. It's broken in a bunch of pieces, removing the ones close to the acid sacks. These will be used as bread to dip into the soup!! The acid itself can be used as a weapon/tool/ or can be sold. The gang doesn't have anything to contain it except for the organ, so they might pass on keeping it.

Eating: I hear insects taste kind of like shrimp? I think the organs/shell pieces closer to the facial features have a slightly bitter taste to them. The human-like limbs are less shrimpy and have a texture closer to muscle while the insect-like ones are closer to crab/lobster. They don't eat the hands, but I'm sure they're very flavorful.

[greghatecrimes]

PPTH Gang + What I Think They’d Order At Starbucks, brought to you in incredible and unnecessarily extra detail by a very tired barista!

House: Black eye (black coffee with two shots of espresso), adds his own cream and sugar very sparingly. Occasionally when he’s alone he orders a Caramel Ribbon Crunch frap (guilty pleasure).

Wilson: Grande hot latte with soy milk. He used to order the “skinny vanilla” (latte with skim milk and sugar free vanilla) but stopped because House made fun of him for ordering the white mom drink.

Cuddy: This woman will drink any kind of coffee she can get her hands on in the morning. Even really, really shitty coffee. She just needs something to get through the day. But if she’s got time for Starbucks, I know she’s absolutely getting a tall Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso with two extra shots of espresso (four total). (That is a lot of espresso for a small drink and she needs all of it). She looks so stressed out that the barista draws a smiley face or a star next to her name on the cup, or writes “have a great day!”

Cameron: The Taylor Swift latte. Grande skim latte with caramel. She’s a basic bitch but she knows what she likes, good for her! In the fall she’s 100% a pumpkin spice latte girl and she probably also has the date written on her calendar for when Peppermint Mochas come back in the winter. When asked her name: “It’s Allie, A-L-L-I-E. Thanks!” automatically spells it out to make the barista’s life 3x easier.

Chase: Cameron orders for him because Chase has no idea what the names for anything are. Also likes a good Peppermint Mocha around Christmas (Cameron got him hooked; he stops drinking them after the divorce). Rest of the year he goes for an Americano, iced or hot, with almond milk. His Starbucks name is Bob, which never fails to make Cameron laugh. (Now I’m imagining putting that order out and yelling “ICED AMERICANO FOR BOB!” into a busy cafe and Chase standing there cluelessly like “who? me?” until Cameron nudges him, and I’m laughing my ass off)

Foreman: Regular, plain ol’ black coffee, any kind of dark roast. He adds his own cream very liberally but isn’t a fan of sugar in his coffee.

Thirteen: I spent way too much time thinking of the perfect thing for her. If she just gets coffee at work, just regular decaf coffee is fine. The bitter taste wakes her up since there’s no caffeine. If she wants a nice coffee, I think she’d like a decaf Doppio (two shots of espresso) with a bit of almond milk, one pump of vanilla, and one pump of hazelnut. Hot or iced, but always decaf. Gently but firmly tells the barista to please make sure it’s decaf because she’s “caffeine intolerant” (not wholly a lie. Helps her avoid the caffeine jitters.) Never uses her real name, either gives a random one or just says “Thirteen, like the number” when asked for a name by the barista. Always leaves a tip when she has cash. Orders her drink iced at any time of year if she’s in the mood for it and gets harassed by House for it.

Kutner: Rotates between different superhero names for his Starbucks name (Tony Stark, Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clint Barton, etc.). Taub wants to melt through the floor every time he gets coffee with Kutner and his order is called out. Kutner thinks it’s hilarious. I really feel like he would be happy with anything you give him, but I think his go to if he’s specifically at Starbucks would be a java chip frap despite the fact that Taub lectures him about it (if he’s gonna treat himself to expensive coffee it may as well taste good!!). Also RIP Kutner you would have loved the Dragon Drink so much (both for the badass name AND the fact that it’s purple)

Taub: Doesn’t go to Starbucks often, probably really only goes with Kutner. Just orders a regular latte or cappuccino. He says he doesn’t see the point of adding in all the flavors and stuff because it’ll just drown out the coffee. Might put some cinnamon on top if there’s a shaker of it on the condiment bar. Would add cinnamon or nutmeg at home if he has the luxury of having a late morning and making his own coffee.

Bonus! Amber: Drinks iced coffee in the middle of a blizzard. Could also down shots of espresso like they’re tequila. The most intense bitch. Would be very visibly tense or stressed when ordering but as soon as her order’s done she’d thank the barista pretty genuinely. Go-to order is a cinnamon dolce latte, no whip but keep the cinnamon dolce powder.

[haven-is-happy]

Meeting the family

Summary: Echo gets some shore leave and turns his comm off

Word count: 2,3 k

Warnings: Just kissing, this is completely sfw

A/N: Had a ton on fun writing this, I hope it's good enough for your expectations. The sentence prompt is in there

Tags: @cloneficgiftexchange @wizardmando

As a general rule (gently suggested by Captain Rex to the 501st), Echo is not to be disturbed when calling with his girlfriend. Not only because of possible less-than-innocent activities on the call, but also because of how damn happy Echo was when he ends the call himself undisturbed.

When he got together with Y/N, his optimism skyrocketed. Every mission, assignment and battle was done quickly but thoroughly, so he could come back to her. He made the other troopers work faster to be done with the paperwork (much to the displeasure of Fives), cleaned up when others didn’t want to, anything to get rewarded more time off.

Even general Skywalker noticed a difference. Echo no longer went with any crazy plan Fives threw on the table. He’s stubborn enough to convince them of a safer route, or staying behind on base for the craziest assignments. 

“I want to come back home,” he answered every time. Nobody asked him what “home” was. It was against regulations, but everyone turned a blind eye.

Rex has never actually met her, but he was sure he like will like her when he does.

—---

“Well, call him again! What if it’s an emergency and we need to leave for an impromptu mission?” 

Despite Rex loving his men with all his heart like brothers, sometimes, he gets quite frustrated with their headstrong attitude. Especially if he does a headcount at breakfast and finds some of them missing.

“Maybe he went to a bar and slept over?” Jesse suggests and shovels a spoonful of military rations into his mouth.

“Impossible. It’s been more than a day. Echo is not that kind of person,” Kix counters, “I would expect that more from Fives.” He points at the trooper with his clean spoon, his face sporting a half-smirk.

From the other end of the table, he hears an offended “OI!”.

“Don’t pretend to be offended, Fives, your tab at 79’s is still open. Besides, Echo has someone waiting for him home, he wouldn’t do that.”

As if a lightbulb went off in his head, Kix turns to Rex.

“Have we checked if he isn’t with them?”

Rex shrugs. “We don’t even know if the person lives on Coruscant, much less know their location.”

Fives froze for a second in realisation. He starts hitting Jesse next to him, as if possessed.

“She is on Coruscant! I have her address in case of an emergency!”

The entire table groans.

“Then kriffin lead with that!” “Fives!” “And you didn’t tell us this sooner?!”

—

"Hear me out: Melted cheese with carrots."

"You know what, that actually might be good."

Since your leftovers ran out for lunch, Echo and you were brainstorming cooking ideas. 

Well, it is more of "Echo says a food combination and you shoot it down". It sometimes feels like he has no sense of taste, his tongue fried from eating republic rations all the time.

The holomovie has become white noise at some point, background in your conversation while you cuddle on the couch.

"The carrots have to be boiled so they don't crunch, we could maybe even use blue cheese," you list off ingredients, in thought.

"I'm sorry, WHAT cheese?!" Echo is half horrified and half curious at your statement. 

"Oh, you know, a cheese that has a bit of grown mold on it. It adds flavour and it's not bad for the body at all," you explain, watching his expression go from 100 to 200.

"How could mold on cheese be anything other than bad?"

"Actually, I have no idea. It just is," you shrug and pull out a datapad, putting in a shopping list.

Echo peers over your shoulder. 

"Does it really need that many ingredients?"

"Yeah. You need the pasta, salt - which we already have - and the sauce needs some cream, garlic, cheese and carrots. If you want to spice it up we can add some ham," you say, counting the ingredients on your fingers. You're by no means a master in the kitchen, but you want to feed your boyfriend food with ACTUAL flavour.

Echo lays his head on top of yours, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"Can you teach me how to do it? I want to cook you something someday," he mumbles into your scalp, pressing another peck after he finishes the sentence.

"I will if you want to, but you don't need to cook me anything! I can always look up recipes or we can order takeout."

"But I want to."

It makes the corners of your mouth rise and warmth spread to your chest. What the republic thinks is a hardened soldier is also a softie who wants to learn how to cook for someone he loves.

"Thank you, love."

Echo doesn't need to move his head to see your smile, he just knows. The tone is obvious to him.

"Cooking is really complicated," he puffs out.

"Oh you have no idea. Pasta is mostly simple to do, one of the easiest dishes in fact," you point out. After sending the shopping list into the app, you toss the datapad to the side.

Now just to wait half an hour for the groceries to arrive, carried by a simple task droid.

You don't want to point your attention towards the TV or go out shopping. It feels like you're wasting precious time you have while Echo is on shore leave. You want to be wrapped up in him for the entire remainder of his vacation.

Curled in his side, you can feel every single muscle of his athletic body through the thin shirt of his blacks. He knows you don't mean anything by it when you snake a hand under his shirt and start drawing shapes into his skin. 

As always, his skin is warm to the touch, bringing you instant comfort.

By the time the movie ends, the hypnotic nature of drawing circles into Echo’s skin puts you in the sweet zone between awake and asleep. His chest rises and falls as he watches the credits (something only he ever does), syncing your breathing with his.

Warmth blooms in his heart at your sleepy form, like small fireworks in his veins. He feels as if body will burst.

“I cannot stop smiling when I look at you,” he whispers to you, making you smile in return. He isn’t even sure if your brain registered it or turned it into a pleasant dream. 

He slowly moves by centimetres on the couch into a more comfortable position to take a nap and let you snooze.

However, before Echo could even begin falling asleep with you, a sharp ring makes him flinch out of his own head.

An adorable whine leaves your throat.

“Is the food here?” Echo asks and gently takes your arm off him, getting up to get whatever is at the door.

“Hopefully,” you grumble out and lay down flat on the couch, covering where Echo was sitting.

“Can you put everything but the bread in the fridge? I’ll cook in an hour,” you speak up, louder than usual so Echo hears you through the apartment.

You hear the door open and then-

“What the kriff are you doing here?!”

You shoot up from the couch so fast your head nearly spins. Echo rarely swears so to you, this would be a jedi-level threat.

“Well you didn’t answer your comm so Fives told me where your partner lives-” “That information is for emergencies!” an identical voice replies to your boyfriend before getting shot down by (what you assume is) your Echo.

When you get into the line of sight of the door, you realise why.

There, right outside the threshold of your door, stand at least six clones, all wearing the same armour Echo has left neatly in a pile by your shoes. All of them have lines, triangles and patterns painted on their helmets in blue, black or red.

Echo’s legion.

“Well you weren’t answering your comm and… oh…” a blonde trooper in the front with his helmet under his arm speaks out and trails off when his eyes land on you.

“Yeah, I have told you I am away.” You’d think his annoyed voice is hot if you weren’t in a situation that could put him at such risk.

Right behind the blonde clone (who you assume is his caprain Rex from what he Echo told you) is a clone with a standard haircut and a number five tattooed on his temple in galactic basic.

His twin, Fives. You remember his tattoo from a conversation you’ve had with Echo. You wanted to meet him some day as he means so much to your boyfriend, but you have hoped that the meeting would be in better circumstances.

Before anything else can happen, you want to diffuse the situation. You don’t know if a clone trooper legally be in a relationship, as the war made the Senate refuse to look at anything else (certainly not look at the rights of the soldiers fighting said war). You might be in deep waters.

“Good afternoon sir. Is Echo in trouble?” You inwardly grimace. That was such a stupid question to ask, acting guilty in the court before even getting called to the stand.

A small smile gets to the captain’s lips.

“No, he isn’t. We’re just here to check on him because he wasn’t answering his comm.”

Some of the weight leaves your shoulders. You really didn’t want the first meeting with his brothers to be about disciplinary actions.

Echo’s entire face goes red, caught in the act. “I thought I put it on emergency only,” he tries justifying.

“Next time, double check. I sent you a message an hour ago. We wanted to know where you are,” another clone, one with a republic tattoo across his face, suggests.

“I told commander Cody that I am taking a day of shore leave. Did he not tell you guys?” Something shifts in Echo, like a knot coming loose. His stance shifts to be more relaxed and a single hand reaches out for your own.

His captain takes out a datapad and reads through messages while you two watch, previous anxiety dissipating just a smidge  .

“Ah, Cody got called away yesterday for a diplomatic mission.” The captain puts away his device and turns back to Echo.

“I- didn’t know that. Sorry Rex” utters your boyfriend and squeezes your hand. You squeeze back, seeing the guilty look on his face.

“It’s alright, you couldn’t have known, General Kenobi got the call and needed to leave immediately,” the blonde, Rex, reaches out a hand and pats his shoulder. 

Then, his head turns to you and he nods respectfully. “Nice to meet you ma’am. We’ll be going, sorry to bother you.”

“No problem at all,” you reply and watch the troopers utter variations of hellos and goodbyes, with his twin being the last to leave your porch.

He sends you a mischievous smile and reaches out a hand to shake yours. “I’ll stop by some time.”

He sends him a glare as he pulls away. Fives pats his shoulder and turns around, jogging to catch up with the rest of his brothers.

You lead Echo back inside your apartment and shut the door behind. His hand leaves yours and he kneels next to his armour to take out the commlink from his pack. He pushes a button, switching it on.

A bit sheepish, he puts it back and stands up. “Sorry you had to meet my captain and brothers for the first time like this,” he looks down.

You reach out a hand to cup his cheek and lift up his head to make him look at you.

“It’s fine, I’m just glad you’re not in trouble,” you say softly and curl your free arm against his waist. His hands instinctively reach out to rest at your hips and bring you closer.

“I really wanted my comm to be off for the day, to spend the time with you. I’m sorry mesh’la.”

“Stop saying sorry for things out of your control. Your captain is sweet for wanting to check on you.”

He brings your foreheads together, something you have learnt is a kiss in his culture.

“Still, we could have gone through our day without this. I want to be here with you. For you. I don’t want you to feel like we are one message away from never seeing eachother again,” he murmurs.

You sigh with a sad look on your face.

“But we are, Echo. And that’s the reality. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t here for me,” you reply and pull away just enough so you can kiss his cheek and then bury your face in his neck. 

His hands go from your hips to hugging you. It’s the kind of bear hug that makes it impossible to breathe deeply, but you’re okay with that.

“I’m here for you too,” you whisper into his skin and land a peck on the junction of his neck and shoulder.

His arms falter and he pulls away, only to kiss you like his life depends on it.

He has no qualms pushing his tongue past your lips, multitasking while gently walking the two of you over to your couch.

“Kriff!” you squeak out as you stumble a bit, unaware of your surroundings from the haze of kissing. You stabilise yourself against Echo’s muscular chest and plant your feet firmly, making your boyfriend almost lose balance in return.

As you both regain your footing, your eyes meet again and you both snicker at the clumsy attempt at romance.

You want to lead Echo towards your couch to continue the session, but the bell rings again.

“So help me force Fives, if it’s you, I am going to put sand in your bed!”

“I think that’s just the delivery droid. It’s been an hour.”

“Oh, cool. Can you show me the recipe?”

[whoslaurapalmer]

an ask if you have time: what do you think violet, klaus, and sunny’s favorite foods are? (and why?)

oooooo!!!

okay so sunny first. clearly she likes hard, really bite-able things, but i think also, really big and bold flavor. definitely will try anything once!! i also think she likes things with a little bit of mess. evidence that something was really eaten and enjoyed. fav food: ratatouille, on really good, toasted bread. i read that if you make ratatouille right the veggies get like a, smooth, jammy consistency? which sounds like it would be INCREDIBLE slapped on some bread, where you're left with these fun and amazing flavors on a good good bread. i think she'd like that combination. i think it's versatile, and different recipes call for a variety of vegetables, which i think sunny would like. the craft of it all, changing a little every time, a challenge to use what she has or add something new, something that she can still make incredible. i also think that when she makes it, the baudelaire household all sits really close together and eats it out of the pan, which is her favorite part. the community of food! who you make it for and who you eat it with!!! fav snack: raw carrots (good, convenient, crunchy snack.) (she eats them so much to the point that, when she stands around, idly leaning on something, chomping on them, frank is convinced she's one day going to 'what's up, doc?' him. she won't, but she likes to look like she's considering it, just to keep him on his toes.) but also, parmesan cheese crisps. am i eating some right now and savoring their salty parmy crunchy crunch goodness? ............maybe. oh, and nice herby croutons........... fav dessert: i think a napoleon!!!!!! all that crispy flaky puff pastry.........nice and chocolatey, too.

for klaus......we know canonically he likes custard eclairs, so i think klaus likes, food that goes down easily, not a great deal of crunch most of the time, food that is.........reliable. in terms of like, sustenance? typical nutritional value? and consistent taste? flavorful, but not necessarily, IN YOUR FACE FLAVOR fav food: oatmeal, with strawberries. now i hate oatmeal bc i can't stand the texture, although i've seen some good-looking diner oatmeal in my time i must admit, but i think he likes the texture and oatmeal is reliable!!!!! and the variety of toppings he can pair with it. i think he's mainly a strawberry person, like i imagine beatrice was. i think babybea has an oatmeal period and he eats the kind with the little dinosaurs in it..............(the entire baudelaire household tries it at least once and compares dinosaurs.) fav snack: soft-baked apple bars. god when you have a good chewy almost melty soft-baked bar...................ugg it's so good. anyway he thinks they're a satisfying snack and uses the wrappers as bookmarks a lot of the time fav dessert: pumpkin bread, with icing!!! hearty, chewy. just sweet enough. nice spices. freezes well.

for violet, i'm not sure what i think her tastes are.......maybe light and fresh but filling things.........like, things that don't feel heavy, but only in terms of, like, What If Something Terrible Suddenly Happens And She Has To Move Fast But Oh No She Just Ate A Really Heavy Meal, you know??? things that also can be eaten cold bc this girl will fix the toaster but will she USE the toaster?? the microwave?? she's like, very aware of her surroundings but gets lost in inventing thoughts when she feels safe so she just wanders into the kitchen, grabs some leftover pasta from the fridge, and wanders off again, not even realizing she's eating the pasta. (i think bertrand did this too, not gonna lie.) fav food: so, pasta primavera. fav snack: tomatoes. i think she reached into the fridge once in a daze and thought she grabbed an apple and didn't realize it was a tomato until she bit into it. but she really likes tomatoes, so. worked out. on some nice toasted herb crackers with some mozzarella and balsamic.........little basil leaf................i think sunny makes this snack for her a lot not only bc violet likes it, but sunny likes making it a lot. fav dessert: blueberry swiss roll with mascarpone cream. nice airy sponge and tangy sweet blueberries..........

[forkfulofflavor]

Pumpkin Pecan Coffee Cake Ingredients: For the Coffee Cake: 2 cups all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled 3/4 cup granulated sugar 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice 1 cup pumpkin puree 1/2 cup milk 1/2 cup vegetable or canola oil 1 teaspoon vanilla extract For the Topping: 1/2 cup brown sugar 2 tablespoons butter, melted 2 tablespoons flour 2 teaspoons cinnamon 1/2 cup pecans, chopped Instructions: Preheat Oven and Prepare Pan: Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Lightly grease a 9x9-inch baking pan and set aside. Make the Coffee Cake Batter: In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, granulated sugar, baking powder, salt, and pumpkin pie spice. Add the pumpkin puree, milk, oil, and vanilla extract. Mix until well combined, but avoid over-mixing. Pour the batter into the prepared pan, spreading it evenly. Prepare the Streusel Topping: In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the butter. Add brown sugar, flour, and cinnamon, stirring until incorporated. Mix in the chopped pecans. Sprinkle the streusel evenly over the cake batter. For a textured streusel effect, gently poke some of the topping into the batter with your finger. Bake the Coffee Cake: Bake for 30-40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out with just a few moist crumbs. Remove from oven and let cool slightly before serving. Serve: Slice and enjoy warm. This coffee cake pairs wonderfully with a hot cup of coffee or tea! Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cooking Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 50 minutes Calories: 320 kcal | Servings: 9 servings This Pumpkin Pecan Coffee Cake is the epitome of fall comfort. With a soft, moist pumpkin-spiced cake base and a rich, buttery pecan streusel topping, every bite offers a perfect balance of warmth and crunch. The cinnamon adds a touch of spice that complements the pumpkin, creating a delightful aroma and flavor that’s perfect for the season. Ideal for cozy mornings, brunch gatherings, or as a special afternoon treat, this coffee cake brings out the best of autumn’s flavors. Serve it warm for an extra comforting experience, with the streusel slightly melting into the cake. It’s a beautiful addition to any fall dessert table that’s sure to impress and satisfy.

[kitzenvoncatzen]

ok so i have a plan tomorrow, i am going to make a large amount of tea, with an even larger concentration of tea bags (if 1 cup is typically 1 tea bag, this will be 3 tea bags for 1 cup, and its like 2 cups) then, i am going to mix in some thai tea (this recipe seems to be more tea-based than i am intending) probably not a lot cause i dont have a lot left then, i am going to mix in 1 can of coke, yknow, for the spice or whatever it is (i will shake it up and make sure it is totally flat before i mix it) then, i am going to mix in a reasonable amount of meal replacement shake mix (specifically CTRL cinnamon crunch flavor or whatever it is (I really shouldve gotten strawberry that wouldve been so much better)) then, i am going to mix in 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (i'd add a cup but i dont have that much, so since i cant go big im just gonna go normal)

then, i am going to shake it for a good 5 minutes only then will i drink it and i will give it a name once i have tasted it

i will report back eventually