#istg if this won’t be canon | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blissfullyapillow · 1 year ago

Text

┃If I can’t have you.. (everything means nothing)

₊˚⊹♡ Xiao x fem reader

₊˚⊹♡ wc: 9k~

₊˚⊹♡ Prompt: Xiao finds himself falling for a human despite his better judgment, while said human is hesitant to give their heart to the sweet yaksha who saved them, in fear of becoming a burden.

₊˚⊹♡ warnings: slowburn, fluff, you’re visionless (gasp), tons of mutual pining, Zhongli acts like a parent figure to Xiao here (istg it’s so cute)

₊˚⊹♡ Pillow Talks: GUYS I AM SO PROUD OF THIS DFHUQI, I’ve been slowly writing the the last couple of weeks and I love how it turned out! I, once again, randomly got inspired when listening to a song. This time it was Shawn Mendes’ song, ‘If I Can’t Have You,’ hence the title of this work. I came to the sudden realization that the song would totally fit Xiao, and I realized it’s been a long time since I wrote something for him. I tried to make this as canon compliant as possible, as in Xiao would actually do & feel these things; I hope I did him justice! With much love, please enjoy this fic! Xoxo ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭

₊˚⊹♡ Masterlist

It’s an average night for the Vigilant Yaksha; Adeptus Alatus. Said adeptus is currently carrying out his duty as he watches over Liyue, defeating any man-eating monsters he happens upon.

Tonight there appears to be more of these monsters than usual, but it’s all the same to the mighty illuminated adepti.

He wastes no time in slaying said monsters, and within a moment's time they are all subdued.

At least that’s what he thought.

A sudden cry from afar immediately grabs his attention, and he wastes no time getting to the source. What he finds does not surprise him. A lone girl hesitantly backs away from a group of monsters, creating what distance she can as she inevitably becomes surrounded.

Xiao’s hand grips his spear as he readies himself to eliminate the threat in front of him. He falters when the lone girl emits a battle cry of sorts. He watches as she bends down to grab a..

A stick.

Xiao can’t help but snort at the comical sight.

This girl, all alone and surrounded by monsters, chooses a stick as her last means of survival. Almost as if the monsters can sense her foolishness as well, they emit sounds akin to laughter.

Xiao moves to help the girl, ready to save her, and yet…

He finds his feet glued to the floor when his eyes catch sight of her burning orbs.

Most people he’s happened across in these situations are full of fear as they shout for someone, anyone, to save them.

Not this girl. She straightens herself with her measly yet sturdy stick in hand before she starts to swing.

Xiao guffaws when she accurately lands a hit on one of the monsters. He’s flabbergasted when the small monster actually falls to the ground. He knows her stick won’t amount to much as a means of protection; it already looks like it’s on the verge of breaking. Despite this, she wastes no time in attacking another monster with her stick.

Xiao is rooted to the spot as he watches this girl miraculously handle herself pretty well in this situation. His sharp gaze flicks to the monster that creeps up behind her. He moves now, and in a moment’s breath he appears right behind said monster.

The girl has yet to notice the monster behind her as she swings her stick at another monster in front of her; the monster behind closes in on her from behind.

He’s relieved he’s close enough to stop the monster before it reaches her since she seems all too unaware of her surroundings.

So, imagine his surprise when the girl spins around, kicking the monster to the ground before his spear can deliver a devastating blow.

Their eyes meet, and although all she can see is his mask her expression morphs into one full of wonder and awe. That is, before she swings her stick at him.

Xiao easily catches hold of the stick, and in no time it snaps in two in his firm grasp. He ignores her attempt to hit him once more as he now focuses his attention on the remaining monsters around her.

He makes quick work in slaughtering them all. Once the task is complete he faces her. He expects her to retaliate once more. maybe attempt to hit him again.

His eyes widen in slight surprise when he’s presented with a formal bow. Her head hangs low, and her hands are pressed together as if in prayer.

“Thank you almighty adeptus!” He scoffs at her grateful exclamation. This mortal is quite the handful. He opens his mouth to speak, his face still hidden beneath his mask, when she straightens herself once more and her eyes meet his.

Any response he would’ve had dies in his throat. His mind goes blank as her wide orbs bore into his. How does she even know where his eyes are? Aren’t they hidden behind his mask?

A touch of his fingers against his cheek, not his mask, answers his own question. He must’ve been so consumed with his thoughts that he didn’t notice his mask disappear.

Speaking of said human, she now tentatively takes a step in his direction.

“Stop. Do not come any closer.” His words are harsh and prickly. He crosses his arms across his chest, and he stands firm.

The human takes the hint, but her eyes still stay on his. For some reason this flusters him, and he finally averts his gaze. The human seems to take this as an opportunity to come closer, and a noise of surprise escapes him when a warm pair of arms wrap around him.

Does this mortal have no sense of danger!?

His hands quickly grip your arms to pull you off of him, but he stops himself when he sees your expression.

Your eyelashes house unshed tears and your lips are quivering. He quickly comes to the realization that your tough exterior was just a front. Now, you’re clinging to him as loud sniffles leave you.

He’s as stiff as a board as you cling to him, but he can’t bring himself to pull you off of him. A few moments of awkward silence, save for your sniffles, pass by. Eventually he awkwardly raises his hand to pat your back.

You two stay together in this awkward embrace until you pull away. He wants to scold you and tell you to return to your residence at once, but…

He remains silent.

“Thank you. I did my best to defend myself and remain calm, but I knew there was only so much I could do. I don’t have a vision, so I was feeling pretty desperate haha.” Xiao’s taken aback by your words. How come he didn't notice that before?

He looks over your person. Sure enough, there isn’t a vision in sight. He’s.. a bit impressed by your mental fortitude. You stood your ground and put up a fight despite having no external means of help.

Honestly, he finds that very admirable of you.

“Whatever. Go home. It’s late. There are still monsters around.” The words leave him quickly, and he ushers you away.

You don’t budge despite his pushing, and you turn your head to look at him.

Archons, why do you keep gazing so deeply into his eyes?

He awkwardly coughs as he looks anywhere but in your direction. His hands on your person feel like they’re being lit aflame, so he quickly pulls them away. You turn to face him fully now, only to place a gentle hand on his arm.

He visibly jumps before his hand firmly grips your wrist. “What are you doing?” He grunts. “Can you escort me home? I’m still a bit shaken up...” You murmur the words under breath. You’re so quiet; Xiao wouldn’t have heard you if he weren’t paying such rapt attention to you.

Xiao has no inclination to help you, let alone entertain you any further. He should just disappear from sight like he usually does. You’ll surely be fine. He may have fibbed a bit earlier, there are no more monsters nearby.

His eyes reluctantly meet your orbs once more. Something about the sincerity in your gaze compels him. He finds himself heeding your request despite his better judgment, and soon he falls into stride beside you as he accompanies you home.

“This is foolish.” He mutters under his breath. “It may be to you, but I greatly appreciate your time and generosity.” He didn’t think you heard him, so he’s more than a bit startled by your sincere reply.

He remains silent for the rest of the journey. He doesn’t comment on your close proximity as you walk side by side.

He pays no mind to the occasional brush of your shoulder against his.

He doesn’t notice the way your eyes are curiously drawn to him as you two walk, or the way they rove over his form.

After what feels like a millenia you two arrive at your residence. He should leave now. He’s indulged you more than he needed to. “This is goodby-” You cut him off when you throw your arms around him in a tight, warm hug.

This is the second time you’ve done that tonight.

He hates the way his heart lurches as a result of the unexpected proximity from you.

“Thank you, really. Is there anything I can do to repay you?” Your voice is soft, mesmerizing, and your words are whispered by the shell of his ear and you continue to embrace him.

Honestly he wants you to stop hugging him so his heart can stop pounding in his chest. “You can stop hugging me… and also… stay out of harm's way.” At his request you quickly pry yourself off of him.

He abhors the disappointment he feels now that you aren’t close to him anymore. “I can do that. Thank you…” You trail off, hoping he’ll fill in the blank for you with his name.

This has gone on long enough.

He turns now so his back faces you. He remains silent as he disappears.

You feel a bit disappointed that he didn’t reply, but you’re grateful to him nevertheless.

Little did the both of you know, this encounter was only the beginning of something more.

𓆩♡𓆪

“I thought I told you to stay out of harm's way?” His gruff tone makes you giddy as he holds you in his arms, out of reach from the swarm of monsters.

You truly didn’t expect to see the adeptus that saved you that fateful night ever again, yet here he is.

“I did my best to follow your advice! I just.. Have a bit of a knack for finding myself in crazy situations.” You sound sheepish as you laugh it off, but the yaksha holding you sounds anything but amused.

“You mortals are always such a handful..” He quickly sets you down in a safe area before he gets to work defeating the monsters in front of you.

You cheer him on as if you were his personal cheerleader, and you swear you see the tips of his ears redden.

In no time at all the threat before you vanishes, and the adeptus stands tall in the midst of the aftermath.

Well, as tall as he possibly can. He is quite short after all.

The thought brings a cheeky smile to your lips. The adeptus notices your expression, and a familiar frown presents itself on his pretty features.

“Are you sure you aren’t actively putting yourself in these situations?” He interrogates you. “No! I promise. I really could do without the added stress to my already busy life.” You smile as you make your way over to him.

He doesn’t stop you. He’s clearly contemplating your words.

You don’t blame him. This is your fourth encounter after all. The previous two encounters consisted of him saving you from monsters as well.

Unfortunately he hasn’t walked you home since your last encounter, or told you his name, but you’re determined to learn that information tonight.

“So, mighty adeptus, will you please do me the honor of-” “You can find your own way home. I know you don’t live far from here.” He turns away from you, his telltale sign that he’s about to disappear.

“No, please wait!” You grimace at the desperation in your voice. You notice him flinch slightly at your words.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t leave.

You close the distance between the two of you, and you wrap your arms around him from behind in a hug.

He sighs, a sound you’ve grown quite used to hearing from him. “You are one troublesome human…” He grumbles under his breath. Despite his harsh words he makes no attempt to move away from you. You enjoy this moment as you close your eyes and hold him.

You smile to yourself since he lets you.

“Please escort me home tonight? I’m still figuring out the best way to repay you for saving me so many times; It’s only right that I do something in return.” You fear your words won’t be enough to convince him.

Your fears are promptly quelled. He regretfully moves away from you, but he begins to walk in the direction of your home.

The smile that lights up your face is radiant.

You easily fall into step beside him.

The night air is chilly. You rub your arms with your hands to generate a bit of warmth as you rack your brain for a suitable topic of conversation. From your few encounters with the adeptus you can tell he isn’t the most social individual.

Even so, nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say.

“Is there really no way I can repay you?” You decide to be blunt and cut to the chase. You’re rewarded by a startled snort. The sound is strangely cute coming from him.

Your head whips in his direction, but his face remains stoic as if he made no sound at all. “If I say there is something you can do, will you stop pestering me?” He grumbles. Your eyes shine with delight at the prospect of doing something for the kind individual beside you.

“Yes, please!” You encourage him. He hums in contemplation before he goes silent once more. You pout as the comforting sight of your abode enters your line of vision.

Once you’re standing in front of your door you turn around to wish the adeptus a monsterless rest of his night. Just as your lips part to say your farewells, he speaks. “You can make a dish of almond tofu. Bring it here tomorrow. After that, your debt will have been repaid. Now go to sleep. It’s late.” With those brisk words, he turns and leaves.

He doesn’t completely disappear on you this time, and the delusional part of you believes it’s progress. Unfortunately you still didn’t catch his name, but you’ve made progress in a different sense!

Too bad you don’t have the slightest idea how to make almond tofu…

𓆩♡𓆪

“I’ve been up since early this morning, scouring multiple sources, and said sources have all referred me to you! So please, pleasseee teach me how you make almond tofu!” You’re on your knees in front of the chef of Wangshu Inn, pathetically begging him to teach you his wonderful ways.

Not too far behind you stands Verr Goldet, hunched over and clutching her sides in laughter. The chef takes one look at the sight of you in front of him before a deep, heavy sigh leaves his lips.

“I just can’t catch a break here, huh..?” Those are the only words you hear from him before you're hoisted on your feet and put to work.

Hours full of failed dishes and disgruntled sighs pass by. At one point the chef looked ready to cry, but hey, everything worked out!

Of course by the time you finally manage to make a successful dish of Almond Tofu it’s late into the night. You bestow your thanks upon the chef, but all he does is shake his head as he shoos you away. He may be far off in his assumptions, but he has an idea of who the intended recipient of that dish is.

You carefully wrap the dish in a pretty carry on before you begin to set off in the direction of your home.

Before you’re able to get far a familiar voice stops you. “Wait! Y/n, was it? Head up to the highest floor of the Inn before you go. It’ll save you a lot of time.” Verr’s words confuse you, but you’d be a fool to deny her request. She was the one who told you to seek out the chef after all. So with a firm nod you quickly make your way to the place she insisted you visit before your departure.

Once you get up there, the ephemeral sight of the full moon greets you. The little balcony is empty. It’s quite a beautiful sight, but you’re still a bit lost. Why did the boss want you to come up here?

You turn to leave since you’re eager to get home and present to the adeptus your hard work. You manage to take only a single step before a hand on your arm stops you. “Where do you think you’re going so late into the night?” You shriek and jump a mile into the air.

Wait, that voice. It can’t be…

Yet sure enough when you turn around the adeptus is there, glowering at you. “Did you make the almond tofu?” You want to scold him for his blunt question. Instead you hold your tongue as you shove the food into his hands.

He’s startled as he scrambles to hold the food properly. “You fool! What if I dropped all your hard work onto the floor?” He scowls deeply, but his words make your heart pound. “How do you know that I worked hard to make this?” You breathe.

His cheeks warm considerably; a light pink hue makes itself visible on his cheeks. The moonlight casts an ethereal glow on his person.

“It’s obvious.. with.. how well it’s presented.” His soft words are surprisingly sweet. You find yourself swooning as he unwraps the food you delicately packed for him. He moves closer to the edge of the balcony before he plops himself down with your dish of Almond Tofu.

You slowly make your way over to him before you sit down comfortably beside him.

A stupid smile stretches your cheeks when your knee bumps against his.

You watch attentively as he slowly takes his first bite. He closes his eyes as he savors the taste. He remains eerily still which causes your heart to drop to your stomach. Did you mess up the recipe again? But the chef sampled it and he said it was the best patch of Almond Tofu you’ve managed to make all day! You tried it too, and it tasted pretty good! You hope the adeptus doesn’t take this as an insult.

Wait- were you supposed to properly make an offering of the Almond Tofu to the adeptus, like, in a traditional sense?

Your spiraling, anxious thoughts are stopped in their tracks when he eagerly takes another bite. Two bites turn into three, and soon the plate is wiped clean.

You’re stunned. You watch in awe as he gracefully sets the plate down at his side before turning to you. “It was okay.” You blink. Glance over at the empty plate again. Look at his deadpan expression.

It takes a moment for the giggles to build, but soon you’re full on laughing as you clutch your stomach, similar to Verr Goldet earlier in the day.

The adeptus huffs in faux annoyance as you laugh. Unbeknownst to you, a small smile is on his lips.

“You don’t need to meet me anymore now. Go home earlier, okay?” His words make your laughter come to an abrupt halt. “Huh?” You splutter out in a confused daze. He says nothing as he moves to stand up.

You clutch his arm.

He takes one look at the expression on your face before he sits down. “Please don’t do that. I mean, I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore. I’m sure I’m just another ‘silly mortal’ to you, and I know you have your own burdens and duties to attend to…” His breath hitches at your words. You wish you could delve deeper into that, but unfortunately you don’t know him well enough. Hell, you don’t even know his name.

“I understand, truly.. But..” You turn to face him. Your knee bumps against his once more, but you pay the electrifying tingles no mind as you gently grasp his hands. He sucks in a breath. You expect him to wrench his hands away, but he doesn’t. Whatever the reason is, you won’t waste this chance.

“I want to get to know you better. Maybe it’s simple curiosity.. Maybe it’s something more..” You subtly imply, “But I want to keep seeing you. On your time, of course. Please…” You’d say his name, but you don’t know it.

You squeeze his hands before your eyes seal themselves shut in anticipation of his rejection. He has no reason to accept. You feel like the fool that you surely are, for even suggesting that he’d want to spend more time with- “Xiao. Adeptus Xiao.”

Your eyes shoot open, and your mouth parts in shock. “Stay at the Inn tonight. I’ll speak to Verr Goldet for you. Get some sleep.” His eyes move down to your hands, still gently gripping his, and the faint color on his cheeks deepen its shade.

He averts his eyes, looking down at his shoes before they trail over to the moon, back down to his shoes.

You find his embarrassment to be absolutely adorable.

You thank the archons for their generosity as you finally let go of his hands. You swear you see a smile on his lips before it disappears just as fast as it appeared.

He stands, offering you his hand to take. You gleefully take it and he hoists you up on your feet. “Have a goodnight…” He trails off expectantly.

Huh? Why is he looking at you like that?

“Your name.” He prompts.

Oh.

Wait.

Your cheeks warm to a dangerous degree as your hand flies to your mouth. You’ve wanted to know his name so badly, you focused so much on it. So much so that you forgot you never told him your own name!

“Y/n.” You whisper, your feelings of embarrassment blatant in your voice.

Xiao smirks at your reaction. “I see. Goodnight, Y/n.”

Then he’s gone.

You take a few minutes to cool down and quell your embarrassment before you go down to talk to Verr. Somehow, she has a room available. You gratefully take the room she offers. She tells you it’s on the house, and no matter how much you insist on paying she refuses to take payment.

Aw well, you’ll leave a generous tip in the room before you leave.

A yawn escapes your lips as your eyes fall shut. As you drift off to sleep, images of the short adeptus- Xiao- occupy your every thought.

Meanwhile, in another location, said adeptus continues to whisper your name into the wind.

Y/n.

Y/n…

....

Huh.

He likes the way your name sounds on his tongue.

𓆩♡𓆪

His heart throbs, and his throat feels dry.

His eyes roam over your figure before he quickly turns around, staring off into the distance. Why does he feel so.. Embarrassed? No, that’s not the right word. It’s more like..

You move to stand a bit closer to him, to make space for the person passing the two of you. The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end; he’s acutely aware of your presence.

Ah, self conscious. That’s the word he was looking for.

He can not wrap his head around these newfound feelings he’s having around you. He only told you his name last night, nothing more. Why is he acting like it’s such a big deal to him?

When you move away to create a bit of distance between the two of you he feels oddly disappointed.

Maybe he’s feeling this way because to him, telling you his name and giving you his time is a big deal, whether he’ll admit it to himself or not.

He’s not particularly fond of spending his time with humans. Well, he wouldn’t mind learning more about human culture if it weren’t for his karmic debt.

Speaking of, you seem none the wiser as you two embark on a leisurely stroll. The sun is high in the sky, a stark contrast to the full moon that witnessed the fateful exchange of your names.

Ah, there he goes again.

He scolds himself for thinking of that encounter again. He spent all night thinking of you, enjoying the way your name rolled off his tongue with ease. Even as he fought a few monsters, his thoughts kept drifting to you.

He starts to break out in a cold sweat as he continues to think of you, even as you’re standing right beside him.

Will he be able to perform his duties appropriately? How will he, when’s he’s thinking about you constantly like a lovesick-

Woah.

Where did that word come from? He doesn’t even know you like that.

Xiao’s cheeks redden from his thoughts. He pushes the thought out of his head, refusing to entertain the silly idea any further.

“Thanks for walking me back… even though it’s broad daylight.” You tease. Xiao jerks a bit at your teasing. Why does that lit in your voice sound so alluring to him?

Xiao. Stop.

“It’s nothing. The threat of monsters linger, no matter the hour of the day.” He mentally pats himself on the back for that smooth explanation. He sees the way you nod your head in agreement, but more importantly his eyes zero in on the small upturn of the corner of your lips.

When he catches himself his eyes quickly tear away from you. He awkwardly coughs into his fist before he looks down at the ground.

Is he.. Sick? Why is his heart beating so fast when all he’s doing is walking beside you? Maybe he should ask Zhongli if-

“Earth to Xiao?” You’re in front of him now, your face dangerously close to his as you wave a hand in front of his face.

Oh, Archons.

He abruptly stops walking, and it takes everything in him to avoid leaning further into you.

“Uh, ye- AHEM… yes?” Oh dear. His face burns at the slight crack in his voice. He silently hopes you didn’t catch it.

You most definitely did, but you won’t tell him that.

“Are you alright? It seems like you’ve been zoning out..” Your kind eyes look over him. His palms sweat as he racks his brain for a quick, sensible justification for his wandering thoughts.

“I was.. Just thinking about..” His eyes move every which way as he tries to come up with a new topic of conversation to distract you. He catches sight of a group of fishermen a few feet away, chatting happily amongst themselves as they wait for their lines to lure in their catch.

Ah, perfect.

“What are your hobbies?” You blink owlishly at him before you take a step back.

He releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“My hobbies? Hm… let’s see..” You resume your position beside Xiao as you begin to delve into your pastimes. You unintentionally talk his ear off, but he’s grateful for it. This way, you forget about his rare moment of absent mindedness and he gets to learn more about you.

He doesn’t delve further into why he wants to learn more about you.

“So there you have it. What about you? I’m sure you’re busy, but I find it hard to believe even the adepti don’t have ways to unwind.” Your question is thought provoking, and honestly a bit insightful.

“This may disappoint you, but not all the adepti have the leisure to indulge in moments of frivolity.” He leaves it at that. In another instance, he may have commended you for your bold question and challenged you to a duel of sorts, but you don’t have a vision and you’re not a renowned traveler.

“Ah, I see. Well then, care to indulge me?” Xiao looks at you with a questioning stare, but you don’t elaborate. At this point in your journey the both of you are close to your abode, as well as Liyue Harbor.

You suddenly grasp his hand as you take off in a jog towards what he assumes is Liyue Harbor. Xiao splutters as he effortlessly keeps pace with you.

“Mortal- I- Y/n- What are you…” The rest of the question leaves his lips in a gasp when you turn to face him, an ethereal smile on your lips.

He’s quiet the rest of the way as he allows you to drag him to Liyue Harbor.

Oh, Zhongli.

This human is nothing but trouble.

𓆩♡𓆪

Xiao finds himself being dragged around Liyue Harbor all day, engaging in various activities with you.

Xiao knows the entirety of Liyue like the back of his hand. He doesn’t need a map; he’ll know any location in Liyue based on a vague description alone.

Yet here you are, bringing him around Liyue Harbor as you force him to encourage him to participate in activities with you and the other citizens of Liyue Harbor.

“Hey, Xiao. Do you like kites?” Your delighted voice drifts through the wind until it reaches his ears. “Hmph. I have no need for such a thing.” Is his stern reply. You seem to anticipate said response since all you do is playfully roll your eyes.

“Mhm. Well lucky for you, I got you one! Ta-da!” You swivel around with a newly purchased kite in hand. Xiao audibly sighs. You wish farewell to the kind old lady selling kites before you two head off once more.

Xiao foresees the way you gleefully fall into step beside him as you walk side by side. Xiao even anticipates the way you subtly sneak the kite into his open hand. What Xiao doesn’t expect is to see Iron Tongue Tian narrating a story to Zhongli.

He freezes.

His feet stop moving forward as he’s rooted to the spot. His thoughts spiral as his mind scrambles for what to do. Should he approach him? It’d be rude not to, but then he’ll know about you. Well, not like it matters. You’re just another human to him and-

“Oh, I love Iron Tongue Tian. He tells the best stories. Come, let’s listen!” Before Xiao’s mind can catch up with his actions, he’s being gently pulled along to sit at the same table as Zhongli.

Oh boy.

Zhongli immediately catches his eye. Xiao almost hates the subtle recognition in his eyes, accompanied by what Xiao discerns to be bewilderment.

He knows Zhongli won’t let him talk his way out of this.

Xiao chooses to sit down between the two of you, as a mediator of sorts. Iron Tongue Tian is currently telling a story, so surely-

“That concludes my story. Fret not, I have come prepared with another story to tell. Please give me a moment of respite as I prepare the scene for my next narration.”

Archons, Why?

Xiao is nonplussed to see the subtle upturn of Zhongli’s lips.

“Ah, Xiao. It’s rare to see you in this setting. Who is this young lady accompanying you? Please, spare no details.” Xiao swears he can feel the lone drop of sweat that travels down his face.

“Mo-.. Zhongli… this is.. Y/n.” Xiao internally berates himself for the breathless way your name leaves his lips. If Zhongli wasn’t curious already, he certainly is now.

“Ah, Y/n is it? A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I go by the name of Zhongli.” Zhongli smiles in your direction as he introduces himself. Xiao turns to gauge your reaction; He doesn’t expect the familiar smile on your lips, or the knowing twinkle in your eye.

Why are you smiling at Zhongli like that?

He feels conflicted.

“I know who you are, Mr. Zhongli. I’ve seen you sitting here, listening to Iron Tongue Tian’s stories many times. It’s nice to meet you.” You reach over, extending your hand for something.

Before Xiao can ask what you need assistance with, Zhongli’s hand grasps yours. You both exchange a gentle shake between the two of you before you retract your hand.

Oh, you were shaking Zhongli’s hand.

He wishes you would shake his, too.

“What a delightful young lady. Tell me, what brings you here? How did you manage to accompany Xiao here, of all individuals?” Xiao hears the underlying tease in Zhongli’s words. He turns his head to face Zhongli once more. A small pout forms on Xiao’s lips, and a small shake of his head signals Xiao’s displeasure of Zhongli’s teasing.

You, none the wiser, happily sit beside Xiao as you hum a tune to yourself. Zhongli leans down to whisper to Xiao, “It’s rare to see you interacting with the citizens of Liyue, yet alone to be accompanied by another party. Especially a human. The last individual I saw you spend your time with was the traveler. What is the occasion for this meeting? Did you orchestrate this? Do you feel comfortable?” Zhongli’s incessant questions only give Xiao a headache.

“I’m fine. There’s no need to concern yourself.” Is his gruff, short answer. Zhongli has become an expert at reading between the lines when it comes to Xiao. Based on Xiao’s body language and tone of voice, Zhongli deduced that nothing of immediate concern was occurring. If anything, Zhongli suspected something else to be at play.

Something he would wholeheartedly support, depending on the type of person he determines you to be.

“So, Y/n. Would you care to tell me more about yourself?” Zhongli elegantly picks up the tea resting on the table in front of him. As he softly blows against the cup, Xiao’s attention is brought back to you.

He watches the way your facial muscles twitch as you open and close your mouth. It’s clear you’re not exactly sure how to respond. Xiao’s patient as he waits for your response, enjoying the telltale sign of nerves you express, as your leg bounces up and down under the table.

“Sure, what would you like to know? My hobbies? My favorite food?” You fill the comfortable silence with a tentative question. “All of that and more, if you will.” Xiao’s a bit taken aback by Zhongli’s forward statement, but you don’t miss a beat. “Okay, sure.”

Many hours pass as you soon fall into easy conversation with Zhongli. Xiao occasionally contributes with your insistence, but overall you and Zhongli engage in pleasant conversation between Iron Tongue Tian’s stories.

Xiao would never admit this, but he’s pleased by this turn of events.

Zhongli is evidently intrigued by you as you two converse, and you’re eager to listen to his wisdom. By the time you two wrap up your long winded conversation, the sun is setting. The sky is a beautiful blend of purples, pinks, and orange hues.

“It seems to have gotten quite late. I’ve immensely enjoyed our conversation Y/n, but I must head off. I hope to see you again soon, friend. Also, it was a pleasure to see you again, Xiao. ” With that Zhongli slowly stands to take his leave.

Wait, friend?

Zhongli referred to you as a friend!

Xiao feels an odd sense of elation. If Zhongli has referred to you in that way, that means Zhongli approves of you as an individual.

Xiao abruptly stands up after Zhongli as he sends a pointed look his way. He hopes Zhongli takes the hint.

“Ah, I see. My apologies Y/n, but I must speak to Xiao privately about a certain matter. Please wait here for his return.” You happily nod as you shoo Xiao off to go talk to Zhongli in private.

Xiao’s cheeks burn for a reason unknown.

He follows Zhongli to a quiet corner. Before Zhongli can speak Xiao’s words burst out of him like a waterfall, unable to be held back. “Zhongli, what do you think of that human? Did they annoy you? Do you approve of them? I recently got to know them after saving them from a group of monsters. Through my many encounters with them, my physical symptoms seem to worsen. My heart pounds, my palms feel sweaty, and I find myself compelled to seek their eyes whenever they speak. Is there something wrong with me Zhongli? Do I need medicine?” Xiao’s words leave him so quickly, so fast, he’s sure Zhongli thinks of him as a nutcase.

Xiao would typically refrain from expressing such concerns to Zhongli. He’d rather shoulder his own burdens and have Zhongli remain none the wiser, but this is something new, Xiao’s never felt these things before. He’s a bit worried, to be quite frank. He knows this isn’t normal since he doesn’t feel this way when he’s around the Traveler or Paimon. Is it something you’re doing? Is-

“Hahah!” Xiao’s thoughts come to an abrupt halt.

Xiao’s eyes widen a fraction as he watches Zhongli’s eyes crinkle with mirth.

It takes a few moments before Zhongli is able to collect himself, but once he does he places a firm, reassuring hand on Xiao’s shoulder.

“Young adeptus, please keep the former word in mind. You are young, and there are many thoughts, experiences, and feelings this world has to offer that you have yet to experience. What you’re feeling right now is normal. It does not matter whether I approve of them or not, as what ultimately concerns me is whether you feel happy around them. If you must know, I find them pleasant to be around, albeit from this brief interaction. None can speak for future events yet to unfold, but I believe you should exercise patience as you navigate this new experience. Don’t fret, my young adeptus. You are doing just fine.”

Xiao releases a deep breath. It feels as if an invisible weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Oh, maybe it was Zhongli’s hand.

Xiao notices Zhongli has retracted his hand, and now he stands before Xiao tall and proud.

“It pleases me to see you engaging with others more. Take care. I shall see you again.” Zhongli’s words feel like a warm hug from a loving, doting parent.

All Xiao can do is watch as Zhongli walks away, looking as refined as he does composed.

Xiao takes this opportunity to close his eyes and center himself. He recalls Zhongli’s words as he takes them to heart.

Xiao takes a deep inhale through his nostrils, and out once more. Zhongli’s right. He’s doing just fine. Despite his better judgment, he’s savored each and every interaction between the two of you. He really should keep his distance, as per his karmic debt, but..

For some reason, the thought of being away from you makes his chest feel tight.

How odd.

Xiao decides you’ve waited long enough. He turns, opening his eyes to return to your side. As he slowly approaches you, waiting patiently at the table, you happen to turn around.

Your eyes lock with his, and a slow smile spreads across your face. Your hand is propped to allow your head to rest upon it, and your eyes twinkle and shine with delight.

His chest feels tight once again, but this time it feels good.

𓆩♡𓆪

Xiao has noticed an obvious change in your behavior; it began after you met Zhongli.

It’s not a bad change per se, but he doesn’t know the meaning behind your actions and sweet words.

It makes him a bit flustered in all honesty.

This scenario is just one of many that he’s had to endure this week alone.

"Stay with me tonight. Please." Goosebumps rise along Xiao’s arm as your whispered words caress the shell of his ear.

“You know I can’t do that.” He retorts. His words are firm and strict, as he moves to put some distance between the two of you.

This is the first time he’s been in your abode, the one he often accompanies you to, and now you want him to stay. He stifles a groan when your arm wraps around his, effectively keeping him where you want him.

He made the mistake of accepting your offer to come inside. He’s not someone who typically indulges such requests from others, but with you, he’s found himself doing things he would never do for another.

You successfully lured him to your room, claiming you need his help with something that only he could assist you with, and now you’re trying to fall asleep with him by your side.

Xiao swears it’s not happening.

"I'll keep you warm."

…

Okay, maybe a few minutes wouldn’t hurt.

“Fine, but I’ll only stay until you fall asleep.” Your eyes widen in shock at his acceptance of your proposal. Your soft lips part as your hands squeeze his arm-

Get a hold of yourself.

Xiao scolds himself at his inappropriate, wandering thoughts. Why is he focusing on how soft your lips are? Or the way they curl up into a cheeky grin as you pull him down beside you? Or-

He awkwardly coughs into his fist as he averts his gaze.

You act all too familiar with him as you snuggle up beside him, resting your head on his shoulder.

Archons, his heart is pounding.

“Did I say you could do that?” He grumbles. You only giggle in reply, pressing yourself further into him.

His Adam's apple bops as he swallows any further complaints.

Xiao peers intently at your face, and he notices the faint bags under your eyes.

Ah, no wonder you’re acting so familiar with him.

Xiao picked up on a cute habit of yours, whenever you’re sleepy you act more familiar with him. You also tend to voice things he believes you hold back in fear of making him uncomfortable.

"You feel like home."

Ah, except he secretly wishes you’d say things like this to him all the time,

His cheeks warm at your whispered confession. “D-Don’t be ridiculous…” He spits the words out, false contempt within them, but you only release a blissful sigh as you relax against him.

He finds himself at a loss for words as you slowly drift off to sleep.

He hesitantly raises his hand to place it upon your head, fingers mere centimeters from your hair, before he stops himself.

Honestly, what is he doing?

As an adeptus, he shouldn’t indulge in these things. He has a duty to carry out, and his karmic debt could cause you harm at a moment’s notice.

With such sobering thoughts in mind, he quickly retracts his hand.

He sighs, slowly removing yourself from his person. For some reason the thought of leaving you causes his chest to constrict. He clutches his chest where his heart lay beneath.

Why does he feel this way?

With a huff he turns to leave, before he spots sheets of paper on a desk in your room.

Curiosity piqued his interest, but he refuses to invade your privacy. A blank sheet of paper catches his attention, so he makes his way over.

Deftly, he grabs a writing utensil before scribbling a message to you in neat script.

He leaves the note on your pillow where his head previously lay, before he vanishes in thin air.

His thoughts wander back to your sleeping figure for the rest of the night, and an unfamiliar warmth blossoms in his chest.

𓆩♡𓆪

You awake the next morning, content after finally getting a good night’s rest. You stretch, and something crinkles by your ear.

You look for the source, and a small piece of paper catches your eye.

When you gently lift the paper to read it’s contents, the words bring back a rush of memories from the night before.

When you were being overly clingy with Xiao.

Your entire body burns as you force yourself to read his note. You hope he doesn’t hate you! Gosh, you hope you didn’t make him uncomfortable…

Your worries are quelled when you read his words.

When you are in mortal danger, call out my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will always be here when you call.

Your lips form a goofy smile as you re-read his words over and over again. “Adeptus Xiao…” You murmur his name under your breath, only to cry with a shout when he suddenly appears before you.

“You called?”

“Uhhh..” Your cheeky smile is enough to clue Xiao in; you had accidentally called his name.

He expresses his annoyance with a cross of his arms and a twitch of his eyebrow, yet the corner of his lips twitch upwards as well. You don’t focus on the implications of that since he’s already scolding you, “I’m certain that I wrote, ‘When you are in mortal danger,’ did I not?” A nervous giggle escapes your lips, and once again the corner of his mouth twitches.

“I.. I’m sorry Xiao. Your name just kinda slipped out when I was thinking about you…” Your face flushes with warmth as you glance every which way to avoid looking at his face.

You hear footsteps approach you, and it only heightens your nerves. “Relax. I’m not upset.” His fingers gently lift your chin, forcing you to look at him. His bright amber eyes peer deeply into your orbs.

It takes every ounce of strength in you not to lean into his touch.

“Y/n…” Your eyes flutter close when your whispered name escapes his lips, flowing into your ears like a whispered confession of love.

“Xiao…” Your eyes open once more when his fingers are suddenly gone.

He’s standing on the opposite end of the room, looking a bit uncomfortable now. You’re a bit confused, but you figure it’s nothing personal.

“Xiao, can you meet me at Wangshu Inn tonight? The same place we met when you tried the Almond Tofu I made you?” Your abrupt suggestion catches Xiao off guard. You’re surprised by your own outburst, quite frankly.

You just want to see him again.

“I.. okay. Same time. Don’t be late.” He forces the words out before he vanishes before your eyes.

Yet a smile remains on your lips as you stare at the space he once occupied.

𓆩♡𓆪

You’ve spent a lot of time thinking before you left for Wangshu Inn. Why did you ask to meet up with him today? Why have you gone out of your way to be close to him?

Well, it didn’t take an Archon to figure out the reason behind your actions.

So, with a firm resolve, you’ve decided you won’t tell Xiao how you feel. You highly doubt an adeptus has time for a relationship, yet alone can harbor romantic feelings for a mere mortal like yourself. You think you’re a pretty cool person, but you also don’t want to be a burden to him.

The last thing you’d want to do is make Xiao uncomfortable and destroy this wonderful relationship you’ve developed with him. You’re wise enough to know Xiao doesn’t form friendships easily, let alone dedicating time to people like has with you.

So, with your renowned resolve you make your way to Wangshu Inn, intending to spend quality time with Xiao.

As you make your way up the steps, your eyes light up when you see Xiao already waiting for you. He’s standing with his back to you, his face tilted towards the sky. Your heart squeezes in your chest, you want nothing more than to tell him how you really feel, but you’d hate it if it ruined everything…

Almost as if Xiao can hear your racing thoughts, he turns around. “Why are you just standing there?” You jump slightly, quickly making your way over to stand beside him. “Sorry…” You murmur.

Xiao says nothing, turning back to look up at the sky. “Y/n… this isn’t easy for me to do but… I need to be honest with you.” Your heart races when his words reach your ears. You turn, staring intently at his face. He doesn’t turn to look at you, opting to continue staring at the night sky littered with stars.

Said stars twinkle in anticipation as your conversation unfolds.

“I think it’d be best if I… wasn’t around you so often. My karmic debt isn’t something to be taken lightly, and…” The rest of his words are muffled as your face flushes with intense heat; your ears ring and your world temporarily spins on it’s axis.

You don’t even notice when Xiao gently shakes your shoulders, before he’s shouting your name in panic.

“Y/n!” His voice snaps you out of whatever daze you were in. Your vision clears and suddenly his amber eyes are oh so close to your face.

Your breath hitches.

Is he trying to leave you? …

Honestly, you wanted to keep your feelings buried deep inside, but you won’t let him leave you behind without a fight. With no hesitation you firmly place both of your hands on his cheeks, holding his face in place.

A radiant blush presents itself on his face, but you refuse to acknowledge it if only to tell him the words you desperately need him to hear.

“Xiao, I didn’t plan on telling you this because I’d hate to be a burden to you. You’re an adeptus and I’m a human. You have a longer lifespan than I do, and I honestly would hate to drag you down or give you more problems than you already have, but…” You take a deep breath to slow the rapid beat of your heart.

Emotion swirls in Xiao’s eyes, but you refuse to let go of him as you continue on.

“Even so, I don’t want you to distance yourself from me! These past few weeks have been so much fun, and I’ve been so happy. You know why? Because you were there with me, Xiao.” You hear his sharp intake of breath at your words, but he looks down at your shoes.

His hands place themselves over yours, trying to remove your hands from his face. “I’ve heard enough Y/n, you don’t understand-” “No, you don’t understand!” Your loud exclamation startles the both of you.

Xiao freezes, but he stops trying to pry your hands away from his face. Instead, he closes his eyes, nodding his head to prompt you to continue.

You cough awkwardly, a habit you seemed to pick up from Xiao.

“S-Sorry..” The words quietly leave your lips, but Xiao’s quick to dispel your worries. “Nonsense. Continue speaking.” So, you do.

“I know you’re worried about your.. Karmic debt will result in me being hurt, but.. Honestly Xiao, you may not see it yourself but you have such a kind soul. You continue to fight monsters, watching over Liyue no matter how hard you have to push yourself. I remember the other night, when it seemed the wave of monsters were endless, you still kept fighting not only to protect me, but to protect everyone in Liyue. If by chance something does occur, I promise you we can figure it out when that happens. Xiao, you deserve happiness too. I don’t want to assume being with me makes you happy, but if those little twitches your mouth did earlier are any indication, then you shouldn’t distance yourself from me and cut off our connection before any relationship can even begin.” At your words, his eyebrows furrow and he visibly starts breathing faster.

His eyes slowly pry themselves open, and the pain you see swirling in the depths of his irises makes your heart lurch in empathy.

His lip trembles, and with a steady hand your thumb slowly swipes across his lower lip.

He exhales at your touch, visibly shivering. He’s silent, his brain clearly trying to think of something to say.

You patiently wait for him to collect his thoughts. In the meantime, you admire the teal undertones of his dark hair, tugging lightly on his hair.

You hesitate to do more, but he seems to appreciate your gentle touch. His eyes close once more, so you lean in, pressing soft kisses along his jaw.

He trembles, eyes snapping open, and he moves back to remove himself from your touch.

“These hands have slayed many, you’d be wise to stay away.” The words almost sound foreign coming out of his mouth, and he appears unsure of himself. You get the feeling he’s giving you every opportunity to back out, if only for your protection.

You huff, a soft laugh leaving your lips; it appears the both of you were suppressing your own feelings in hopes of preserving the others’.

“Hm? These hands?” You allow him to remove his face from your touch, but you slowly reach down to grasp his hands.

Some irresponsible, foolhardy part of himself allows you to.

You unhurriedly lift his hands to your lips. Said lips brush along his knuckles, placing well meaning kisses against each one.

He remains silent, but makes no move to pull away.

You smile to yourself, moving to stand closer to him.

He stands in front of you, stiff as a board.

“Do you mind if I touch you, Xiao?” His eyes are teeming with emotion. He gazes deeply into your own, before he slowly nods his consent. “I need to hear you say it, sweetheart.”

That gets a reaction out of him.

Dark cheeks accompany his hurried, “Go ahead.” You press your body to his, placing a tender kiss to the place between his neck and shoulder.

You continue to press kisses along his body in hopes that your actions get your feelings across to him.

Your eyes trail along his body, fingers applying slight pressure below his stomach as they outline his waist. He swallows thickly, mentally telling himself to remove himself from your addicting touch.

Despite his intentions to move away, he’s enraptured; rooted to the spot as your loving touches bring life to his dormant heart.

You suddenly lower yourself, and Xiao swears his heart jumps in his throat when you press a kiss to his hip bone, over the fabric of his clothes. “That’s enough!” His words are harsh, and he roughly lifts you up by your arm, only to pull you in by the waist.

Now your body is pressed firmly against his.

You can feel just how fast his heart is beating, and you’re sure he can feel your speedy heart pace too.

No words are exchanged as you raptly stare into each other’s eyes. Neither of you comment on the lack of distance between the two of you, and you surely don’t object when your lips are soon mere millimeters apart.

Soon, they aren’t apart any more.

The two of you simultaneously groan when your lips press against each other. It’s an innocent kiss, full of emotion. Your arms wrap around his neck as his hands on your waist pull you impossibly closer to him.

It feels like an eternity passes before you pull apart.

As you stare at each other in silence once more, you feel a lopsided smile on your face. Xiao’s cheeks are painted a beautiful shade of pink as his amber eyes zero in on your lips.

Surprisingly, Xiao is the first to break the silence.

"Sorry, that was my first kiss."

You giggle.

"I could tell."

"...."

"I'm kidding!"

He rolls his eyes as you burst into a fit of giggles. He figures the only way to shut you up is to kiss you again.

…

So he does; eagerly.

𓆩♡𓆪

“Zhongli, do you remember Y/n?” Xiao now sits across from Zhongli, as Iron Tongue Tian prepares to share a scene from his new narration.

“Of course I do. It’d be hard to forget a human who has formed such a strong connection with you, Xiao.” Zhongli’s words hint at an underlying meaning, and it makes Xiao bristle.

Zhongli only laughs; he’s fond of teasing Xiao.

“What about them, Xiao? Have you found answers to your previous questions?” Zhongli leans forward, giving Xiao all of his attention as he patiently waits for his response.

Xiao hesitates before giving a slow, deliberate nod of his head. Zhongli’s eyes crease with glee as Xiao’s mouth forms a sweet smile.

“Yes. I have.” Xiao’s simple response earns a hum from Zhongli. “And what is your final answer?” Zhongli leans back as he studies Xiao.

He notices the way Xiao shifts his weight in his seat, and how he fails to hide his shaky hands underneath the table. “My final answer is that I..” Xiao glances up at Zhongli, but all he finds is patience within those amber eyes.

Xiao takes a deep breath before he willingly admits, “I have grown quite fond of this human, and it appears they share similar feelings for me.” Xiao waits with bated breath for Zhongli’s response.

Zhongli closes his eyes as he digests Xiao’s words, yet he can’t contain his smile.

“I see. Do you feel happy when you’re with them?” Zhongli’s question confuses Xiao, and a tilt of his head displays that. “Of course I do. Otherwise, I wouldn’t spend so much time with them.” It appears Xiao doesn’t recall Zhongli’s previous words from their earlier conversation, but that is quite alright with him.

“Then that is all that matters. I am happy for you, Xiao.” Zhongli opens his eyes, leaning across the table to gently grasp Xiao’s hands in his. He gives it a squeeze, before he pulls away. The action visibly flusters Xiao, clearly embarrassed.

“Zhongli…” Xiao groans. Zhongli beams, blithely expressing his delight as he laughs without constraint.

“Ah, there you are.” Xiao immediately turns around at the sound of your voice, and a twinkle Zhongli has never seen before presents itself within his eyes.

That’s all the confirmation he needed.

With a small smile, Zhongli stands. He shares a brief greeting with you before he looks at Xiao once more. Xiao stares at him with a neutral expression, before it slowly morphs into a shy grin.

Zhongli turns to leave without another word, whistling a tune under his breath.

Ah.

He almost forgot how beautiful love can be.

…

Xiao watches Zhongli leave before he turns to you, gently taking your hand in his. You lean your head on his shoulder as you close your eyes, listening to Iron Tongue Tian’s story.

Xiao’s hand squeezes yours as he plays with your fingers.

He fails to suppress his smile when you squeeze back.

#xiao x female reader #xiao x fem reader #Xiao x reader #Xiao x female reader #Xiao x fem reader #Xiao x reader genshin impact #Xiao x you #xiao x y/n #genshin x you #genshin x reader #reader insert #genshin x female reader #genshin x fem reader #genshin reader insert #xiao x you #xiao x reader

198 notes · View notes