obsessedwithpedritoofc

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

the AUDACITY to make such a masterpiece (as if his other fics werent lol)

TED YOU MF 😭

i think i loved this a bit too much lmao but it IS a masterpiece you wouldnt understand--

go check @pedritofics' other stuff youre gonna love it i know

Just a familiar

Max Phillips, a guy you went to college with, reappears in your life after four years. What you didn't expect was how frequently he would alter your brain and your life.

Pairing: Max Phillips x Male!Reader Word count: 4k words

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ MDNI!, toxic, and I really mean TOXIC relationship (call Britney Spears), hypnosis, hate sex, self-harm, suicidal themes, reader has lost every sensation of control over his life, bottom!Max Phillips

And here it finally is, my entry for @perotovar's Worship writing challenge! My song was Dangerous by Sleep Token, I had a lot of fun finally writing a vampire story!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

You observe the man you work for. Max’s playful yet aggressive strategy for convincing people in this office is blatantly scammy. He’s using his hypnotic powers. By this point, you’ve heard it enough times. In fact, you've even experienced it yourself. Your suit is too hot for this time of year.

But then, the faintest of memories… No. It’s not even a hint of a memory of his cold skin against your hand. Your fingers twitch, wanting to reach out somehow, but you clasp the clipboard holding the data sheets. The new, fancy shoes you’re wearing dig into the backs of your feet, but you maintain your composure. You stare into the air as Max continues talking on and on about efficiency and profit. You’re no longer paying attention.

Max Phillips attended the same college as you, but his poor life decisions led to his expulsion. It had been a while since you’d last heard news of him. Last you heard, he had gone to Europe to study at a university in Romania. So, after four years, when you ran into him again at a bar, you were curious about how his life had been.

You’re not sure how you ended up back at your place. He was sitting on your couch, and his smooth words carried a slight poison with them. When your memories came flooding back, you realized that he had plainly said you would take him home and that he would stay with you for a while. But then…

“Anyway, you know how it is in this part of the industry. It’s either eat or be eaten. And I have my sights set on sinking my teeth into success.” His smirk widened whenever he used words like these in a nuanced way. The memory of witnessing him bite someone's throat off hit you like a train. There was so much blood. The screams awakened a primal fear in you. You blinked, your mind was dizzy from his words that seemed to infiltrate your brain without much resistance.

“Helloooo?” He snapped his fingers in front of your face a couple of times.

Your eyes shifted rapidly from the ground to him, your heart pounding wildly with fear.

“I know you’re a vampire, Max.”

“Wow, you’re so smart.” His voice dragged along a degrading tone. The shine in his eyes became intimidating, as if he saw you as prey.

“Don’t be like that, man. I know you were kind of a jerk before you left for Romania, but you’re even worse now.” You were panicking, trying to stand up and leave but unable to do so. So, you changed your strategy, deciding to try to keep it together while stuck with this blood-sucking creature.

He burst into laughter that sent a shiver down your spine since it dropped in an instant. Staring at you, his cold expression turned into a smirk when he realized you were getting nervous around him all of a sudden. “Would you also like to gain this confidence? This… power?” 

You frowned, pursing your lips until they were nothing but a thin line on your face. He leaned in closer, tilting his head so that he could stay dangerously close to your neck. His mouth was open as if he were about to bite down on your neck at any moment. You felt your entire body clench. Even though he was so close to you, you couldn't feel even a soft breath brush against your skin.

“Max. This isn’t funny.” You whispered, your voice quivering with fear.

“Of course, I could also just make you my little guinea pig. My familiar.” 

You snap out of it. Max’s voice brings you back to the present. “Did you get that, or do I need to repeat myself?”

“Uh… Sorry. Could you repeat that?” You straighten your back while holding the clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other, ready to take notes on what he’s about to say. You’ve been his personal assistant for months now. He crosses his arms and tilts his head slightly sideways. A smile that is laced with annoyance graces his clean-shaven face.

“I will, only this once. But I don’t want this happening again. Can’t have my assistant not paying attention to these meetings, or else… You know what’ll happen.” 

You nod, gulping in fear at the thought of him ripping your throat out.

“Good. Now. Please schedule the meeting with the donut pillow people for next week.”  

As you write this down, the others leave the meeting room along with Max.

“How did I even end up agreeing to become his personal assistant, anyway? And why is he still living in my apartment?” You keep wondering as your legs move on their own to follow Max into his office. The feeling of not being in control over your own body washes over you. It's desperation. As if whatever you think or do doesn't matter, ever since he entered your life. Especially since you keep remembering bits and pieces of things you did but have no recollection of doing.

He had asked you to find him someone who wouldn’t be missed. Someone he could devour. And you just… did it. No questions asked. No convincing needed. You remember the screams of that person in your bathroom. At least he had the decency to do it in there instead of on the couch.

The blisters on the backs of your heels sting as you stand beside his desk, noting down details of things he needs finished by next week.

You leave the office late that night after everyone else has gone home. By now, almost half of the people working there are vampires. Their stares dig into your skin whenever you make eye contact with them, as if they’re about to pounce on you at any moment. But somehow, they never do. Instead, they walk up to Max later and whisper to him so you can't hear what they're saying. And when he replies, his eyes always follow your movements as he grins widely.

Not even stepping through your apartment door gets rid of his infuriating grin. He simply sits down on your couch while pulling at the knot of his tie to loosen up a bit.

“Could you get me something to eat?” He asks, as if he hadn’t just spent the entire day verbally punching down at you and commanding you around. 

“Get your own.” You spit out in anger, which causes his face to drop into a dead-serious expression.

“I already had something on my way here. You can order yourself something.” Not caring about him sitting up straight on the couch, you take off the tight shoes and limp to your bedroom. For once, Max doesn't have anything witty to say. It's almost as if he wanted to get you this mad in the first place.

“Goodnight.” He mumbles. 

After getting rid of your suit, you stand in front of the bathroom sink, water dripping from your face as you stare at your reflection in the mirror. Deep, dark eye bags lie heavily under your eyes. There is no visible bite mark on your skin. With a relieved sigh, you brush your teeth, your eyes drifting off to stare into nothingness.

The softness of your sheets and mattress welcome you like a soft kiss after a long day of work. You’re close to falling asleep, the darkness of your room cradling you to sleep. You can feel your heart slowing down. Just as you're about to drift off into sleep, though, your bedroom door flings open, making you twitch from the sudden rude intrusion.

“Jerking off all by yourself, handsome?” He asks jokingly as he steps through your bedroom door, a big smirk plastered on his face. You can still see his features in the dark.

“Fuck, Max, learn to knock. What do you want?” You sit up on the bed, pulling the blanket onto your lap. Your body aches from the long workday.

He rolls his eyes. “I don't talk to you just to ask for something.”

“Then what is it? Unlike you, I actually need to sleep.” You feel another emotion boiling deep inside you. Once again, it's anger. He sits down on the bed beside you, resting his hands in his lap. It’s an unusual sight. He looks almost fragile. Like you could finally destroy the thing that’s turned your life into a living hell.

“You do know that I can hear your heartbeat…? It’s so easy to tell when you’re scared… happy… frustrated.” That stupidly enraging smile appears again as his hand reaches out for your shoulder. His thumb rubs against the skin of your neck, his fingertip feeling cold.

With a frown, you tilt your head to look at him sideways. “And you’re telling me this why?”

“Oh. It’s because I have a proposition.” He whispers, leaning in closer. “I know you hate my guts. And that you’re afraid of me. I can feel it every time I talk to you…”

You tense up as his hand squeezes your shoulder harder. His breath is cold against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

“So, I was thinking we have the dirtiest, most hate-filled fuck session. To get rid of these feelings and improve our work dynamic.” Max's whispered voice is accompanied by a soft chuckle when you flinch the moment his hand moves up to cradle your neck.

Exhausted, angry, and confused, you blink quickly. It would certainly be a way to take out some of your anger on him. The way your hands move of their own accord, not because of Max’s hypnotic powers but through your own will to destroy him, shocks you a little.

You grab his face before connecting your lips to his as you push him onto the bed. A similar memory flashes in your mind. This has happened before. You groan against his lips at the realization.

“We’ve done this before…” You murmur, unbuttoning his vest. He smirks under you as you straddle his hips.

“And you enjoyed it. Every. Single. Time.” 

You gulp as the memories slowly come back to you, your body flashing hot from one second to the other because of them. The stretchy fabric of your underwear does the shittiest job of hiding how hard you've become. Max’s chest shakes from a chuckle as you hastily try to remove his clothes. Even though his body is cold, it manages to absorb your heat from each touch. With each kiss he places on your neck, chest, and lips, his lips become warmer, more inviting.

Softly moaning in response, you unbuckle his pants and pull them off, breaking away from his kisses. He sits up on the bed to look down at you as you kneel beside it. Your hand reaches for the nightstand drawer and pulls out the lube stored inside. The other pulls off his underwear, releasing his twitching erection into the warm bedroom air.

The bottle feels lighter than you remember, so you take a look at it. It’s almost empty. 

“Wait… how often have we done this?” You look up at Max, who shrugs. 

“Often enough for that to be the second bottle we’ve emptied.” 

Your brow furrows as the rage fills your chest, spreading like wildfire. But you stay quiet, pouring some lube onto your fingers. There’s not a chance you’ll give him head now. Instead, you push him to lie back as you stand up and pull his leg up to push two fingers inside him. The fact that you’re able to do this infuriates you even more. He’s letting you manhandle him like this. You’ve seen how he can push people around as if they were nothing. You've felt how strong he can be. So, not caring if he’ll be able to walk the next day, you thrust your fingers into him and finger-bang him until he finally lets out a moan.

For a man whose best skill is seducing people, that was the rawest and most pathetic-sounding moan possible. It got stuck in his throat as he closed his eyes. His hand holds onto the leg you pushed back to stretch him out. This allows you to let go and focus on pleasuring yourself as you insert a third finger into his anus. Your breath quickly turns heavier as the excitement of possibly breaking Max grows exponentially.

He’s gagging on gasped moans, his face now turned to the side, while your fingers move in and out of him almost at the speed of light. But then you stop only to look at him. His neglected cock weeps with pre-cum, his anus twitching when you pull your fingers out. Without wasting any more time, you pour the rest of the lube onto your hand, spreading it all over your dick before smearing the rest between his cheeks.

You pull his other leg up, bringing his ankles above his head. His lidded eyes look up at you, full of lust for what’s about to come. You align the tip of your erection with his hole and push inside with a quick thrust that has him closing his eyes and biting his lower lip. Just as your heart skips a beat at the sight, his lips curl up into a smirk.

“Fuck – hah – if only you kept your mouth shut about things like this all the time… Just keep moaning like the pathetic man you are.” You groan. His insides warm up from the heat coming off your cock as you push in further. His cocky smile is replaced by a desperate look. It seems like he’s finally dropping his mask in front of you. The hatred you’d felt for him dissipates as you start pounding into him.

The moans begin to spill out of him. Breathy gasps leave your lips as the blood rushes through your body, making you feel hot as you continue.

“M – More! Mh – If you can.” He gasps with each thrust as you pick up the pace, slamming deeper into him. The sound of skin slapping against skin reverberates through the room. He feels amazing around your cock with all the warmth he’s getting from your body.

After a moment, you stop, breathless, and pull out. He whines as you do, worried that you might have changed your mind before either of you came close to release.

“Get up and turn around.”

With a tired smirk, he does as you say and mumbles, “Getting a bit bossy. I like that.” 

You grab his hair while wrapping your other arm around him. As you guide him against one of the walls in your bedroom, you kiss the back of his neck and bite down occasionally to coax a noise out of him. Max lets out perfect gasps, as if he’s practiced this a million times.

You press him against the wall. Still clutching onto his hair, you push his face against the hard wall as you adjust to push your cock back inside him. He lets out an almost animalistic growl and uses his hands to attempt to push his face off the wall. But you keep him there and begin to thrust into him again.

“Fuck – Just like that.” He hums.

You tug at his hair, bringing his face closer to yours. With one eye closed and the other half-open, he looks back at you, his mouth hanging open. Your movements speed up as you try to chase away the feeling that is slowly bubbling inside you from seeing him like this. You press your face against the crook of his neck when you let go of his hair. Your hands are now on his hips, holding on tightly.

The faster you go, though, the more you slip out of him. After the fifth time in a row, you sigh in frustration. Max lets out a disgruntled moan and turns around with his back pressed to the wall to look at you. His room-temperature hands grab your sides and pull you closer as he kisses your lips. You reciprocate, allowing him to guide you back onto the bed. He pushes you onto it and straddles your hip just as you finish adjusting the pillow under your head.

He kisses you once more with a rather hard bite to your lower lip, deepening the kiss as he inserts you inside him. The soft pressure around your cock feels amazing. You moan into his mouth when you fold your legs up so your feet touch the mattress. This allows you to move by yourself. You move with precision, not showing any signs of slowing down, the tip of your dick always brushing against his prostate. His hums quickly turn into loud moans and whines. Your head spins from the intensity of it all. When he pulls away from the kiss, he moves on to kiss your neck, occasionally sucking at the skin to leave soft marks.

Just as you’re about to climax, you feel him bite down. Thankfully, it's not hard enough to draw blood, but it still tips you over the edge as your body flinches. Moaning his name, you stay deep inside him. Your hand wraps around his throbbing cock, helping him to reach his own orgasm. And when he does, he lets out the most suppressed moan he’s made all night. He flops over on the bed, breathing heavily to keep up the charade that he’s still alive. You look down at your cum-covered stomach. The liquid cools your otherwise hot skin.

Regret washes over you as you stare at the ceiling. Max watches you, as if he’s expecting something. You shouldn't have done this. Taking a deep breath, you rub your hands over your face.

“This was a mistake.” You murmur, avoiding his gaze. “We shouldn’t have done this…”

Max sits up on the bed, his usual cockiness gone. “… I know what comes next. You want to forget this ever happened.”

Your head snaps around to look at him. Everything makes sense now: The way he’s been behaving ever since you got home makes sense now, too. Somehow, you had asked him to do this on multiple occasions. Probably each time you slept together. But he always made sure you forgot after it happened.

“I –…” You sigh and avoid looking at him once more. “Yes. If you would be so kind.” 

He nods, cradling your face as he looks deep into your eyes. 

“You will forget that we spent the night together once you wake up. You’ll remember the rest of the day and how you got home. Your last memory of tonight will be falling asleep before I stormed in here.” As he speaks, you could swear that there’s a hint of sadness in his voice. You blink, his dark brown eyes turning slightly reddish by the end. Right before letting go of your face, he presses a kiss to your lips, lingering longer than you expected him to. He helps you clean up quickly without saying another word. 

By the time you fall asleep, he’s gone.

This time it didn’t work. 

The next morning, when you sit up in bed, you groan into your hands. You remember every last detail of what happened last night. It eats you alive. You are unable to look him in the face at work. Thankfully, the marks he’d left on your neck aren’t too visible under the office lights. You try to act as if you don’t remember anything, and he behaves as usual: annoyingly cheery, dominant, and patronizing.

As you sit at the computer analyzing the latest sales on Excel spreadsheets to put together a presentation for Max, you make up your mind. You need to work on something else. With someone else. Somewhere where you won't have to constantly look at him. So you won't have to deal with the conflicting feelings you have now that you remember everything with uncomfortable precision.

Every shared night. Each touch and kiss. His words in your mind, sometimes professing his love for you. Your own voice reciprocating. Other nights when you were scared of him. And nights when he was scared of you. It was almost like a game to him. A twisted game of cat and mouse.

When you get back home that night, he seems to be fuming. He's not waiting on the couch like the night before. Instead, he's pacing around the living room. He almost jumps on you when you get through the door.

“You went behind my back to get a different position in the company?!” Max’s voice could break glass. You flinch at the sound as you lock the apartment door behind you, so the neighbors won't hear.

“I… I had to. I’m sorry, Max. I can’t do this any longer.”

“Do you have any idea what the others –” He stops himself, looking away as he places his hand on his forehead. “What the other vampires in the company are going to do to you when I’m not around?”

You squint your eyes together, crossing your arms in the process. “Don’t tell me that you’ve been ‘protecting me from them’ this whole time.” The sarcasm in your voice is palpable, hitting a nerve.

“So that’s what you want? To die at the hands of another?” He stares deep down into your eyes as he steps closer. You frown, noticing how serious he is about this. 

“What would it matter to you anyway? I’m just your dumb familiar.” You are denying that any of his advances are genuine. He's a manipulative asshole who only has his own benefits as the end goal.

“You’re right. You’re just a fucking familiar.” Max turns around. “I don’t need you. I can kill you myself whenever I want.” He sounds defeated. 

“Then why haven’t you yet?” You ask with a deadpan expression, too numb to show any reaction. You don't wait for an answer. And Max stays quiet. It’s all become too much to bear. The memory lapses. The detailed memories that flood your mind with each familiar scent, phrase, or emotion. As you walk into your bedroom, you grab a knife from the kitchen. You’re unsure whether you’ll need to defend yourself or take your future into your own hands.

If your fate is sealed when you’re away from Max, but you're miserable around him, there’s no other way out. The only chance you have is to decide how you’ll die in the end. You sit down on the wall opposite your bedroom door, knife in hand. His footsteps get closer.

Max stops in the door frame, his face dropping the moment he sees you. With a soft smile on your face, you hold the knife to your neck, exhausted from not having any autonomy. He’s watching you, his eyes wide with panic. Without hesitation, you press the knife slightly against your skin, feeling the sharp, cold metal sting as it cuts you.

In the blink of an eye, Max’s cold hand grips the back of your neck. The knife is no longer in your hand; its place is taken by a cold, painful throbbing as the blood leaves your neck. You gasp. His fangs have bitten deep into your skin, enough to have the red, thick liquid stream out. Your head spins and you begin to feel weak.

The sound of Max's moan is almost audible as he wraps his lips around the bites, eagerly sucking up your sweet life nectar. Though you feel cold, your eyes close, and you pass out, he keeps drinking as if he’d been starving all this time. The last thing you hear are his pleased hums.

When you finally wake up, you feel nothing but numbing cold. You look down at your hands and notice they’re pale. Then, you look around the room to see him standing beside you with his arms crossed. His face seems more alive.

“Now you are my equal. Forever bound to me. Forever mine. Until eternity.” His words echo in your ears as if they're coming from inside your head.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

aah aaah--

im not crying you are >:'(

ted you goddamn evil amazing writer

go check out his other stuff ( @pedritofics )

But the lying eyes are shut forever

Part three

Ever since Joel and Ellie arrived, your relationship with everyone around Jackson has blossomed. Faced with the dangers of your daily lives, you decide to get through these times together, with Joel as your significant other.

This is the outbreak version of Lying eyes!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 17k words

Warnings: SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, outbreak au, reader is married and has a daughter, switch! Joel Miller, character death, mentions of blood, emetophobia, slight gore, blood, homophobia, internalized homophobia, Christian themes, the girls live!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

To part 1 — To part 2 — To part 3

That same year, when you’re spending Joel’s 60th birthday together, Sarah and Ellie make pancakes for him with special coffee they found in the afternoon. They leave the two of you alone in the evening. This is when you finally gather the courage to pop the question. You managed to craft a little ring out of some leather and extra metal hoops you had lying around. It wasn't the best-looking proposal ring, but you knew Joel would appreciate it. After all, he had started woodworking himself in recent years.

So, once everyone leaves his birthday party late that night, you light a small candle to set the mood. You have him sit on the couch and wait for you. He was starting to grow impatient.

“You’ll get your birthday present soon, don’t worry.” You walk to the kitchen and look through the bag with the snacks for the small box where you kept the ring. You hadn't told anyone but Ellie about the plan, since you needed the workshop to work on it. She almost slipped up a couple of times, but thankfully, you were around when it happened, so you quickly changed the subject. Once you feel the hard edges, you pull the box out and slide it into your pocket.

“If it’s not you, in nothing but a bow, I don’t want it.” He jokes as he waits for you. You walk into the living room with a raised brow. 

“Oh? Then I guess I can pack my things back up.”

He rolls his eyes with a smile on his face. You sit down beside him on the couch and grab his left hand.

“Actually. My present is a little something accompanied by a question.”

You manage to pique his interest, and his hand squeezes yours as you hold it.

“What is it?” 

To get the box out of your pocket, you raise your hip off the couch, grunting at the movement. Then, you sit silently with his hand in one hand and the box in the other.

“Joel. I know this wouldn't have been possible if not for the collapse of society and mankind. Having you in my life is wonderful. Thanks to you, I've become more like my younger self. And I love you, so, so much.”

He listens quietly as he watches you open the box to show him the ring you’d crafted. You seem calm and collected on the outside, but your inner monologue keeps repeating the words, “Shit. Fuck.” the entire time you’re talking. You’re panicking slightly, hoping he won’t say no.

“Joel Miller. Will you marry me?” 

Joel cups your face with his other hand, his thumb softly caressing your cheek as he sighs and somehow looks defeated. “You beat me to it.”

You blink in confusion. “Huh? What do you…” Before you can finish your question, he slides his hand under the cushions of the couch. After rummaging around for a bit, he pulls out a small box. It looks much nicer than yours.

“I’ll gladly marry you, if you’ll do me the honors of answering this question: Will you marry me?” He smiles softly as he opens the box. Inside is a beautifully handcrafted wooden ring. He must have spent hours carving, sanding, and adding little details to it.

“Oh Joel… Yes.” Smiling broadly, you lean in to kiss his lips softly.

You pull out your ring and take his left hand, sliding it onto his ring finger. It fits perfectly. Good thing he's such a heavy sleeper. While he was sleeping, you carefully wrapped a string around his finger to get the measurements. It would've been awkward if he had woken up while you did this.

“Now you.” You give him a big, toothy grin.

He chuckles and does the same to you. The wooden ring is warm against your skin. You examine how it looks on your finger, mesmerized by the little pattern he managed to carve into the wood.

“It’s like the tenth ring I made, in case you’re wondering. The others always broke.” He grabs your hand, examining it on your finger. To him, it looks perfect.

“Thank you. I love it.”

“And I love you.”

Joel surprises you with a day outside the walls. Ellie accompanies you on your outing, even though she could have just had the day off to hang out with friends. After walking for a few hours, you reach a wrecked-looking city that had recently been cleared by patrol. Ellie walks behind you, humming a familiar tune. It's the tune of “Redundant” by Green Day. You smile to yourself as you follow Joel, who comes to a halt in front of an old jewelry store.

“We’re here.” He smiles and looks back at you both.

“Huh.” You look through the open door of the building, which he walks through. You go in after him, along with Ellie. “What exactly are we doing here?”

“You’ll see.” Joel replies, stepping behind the counter and rummaging around behind it. He brings forth a tray with wedding rings on it. “I found these last time we checked out this place. Ellie helped me choose some rings.”

You smile and take a closer look, noticing that they’re arranged in pairs. There are 20 rings in total to choose from, which vary in color and the thickness of the metal. The pair in the dead center is the one that catches your eye the most. Even if they look simple.

“I personally like those the best.” Ellie points to a pair in the middle.

“I agree.” Joel smiles as he picks up the rings and holds them out to you in the palm of his hand. You take the ring that looks more likely to fit your finger, try it on, and hold out your hand to take a closer look at it. When it came to choosing the wedding rings with Bridget, she didn't give you much of a choice. It's nice to be able to decide on one yourself for once. The edges are beautifully crafted so that they don’t dig into your skin when you close your hand into a fist. It’s not too big or heavy; you probably won't notice it if you wear it daily.

“These are wonderful…” You hold your hand up to Joel’s, looking at the two rings on your hand and his.

“Then I shall try to engrave a little something into them.” He smiles lovingly before taking the rings off your and his finger and stores them in a neat box that Ellie sets on the counter.

Joel happily stashes the box in his backpack, and the three of you start walking back to Jackson. The way back is a bit long. On the way, two people stumble upon you. They are two men. Each is carrying his own pack. Your group stops a bit further away from them, unsure of their intentions.

“You two armed?” You ask, keeping your distance and your revolver in hand. They appear unarmed. Each man wears a round dog tag around his neck.

“No! We’re just looking for two people who were supposed to meet us a couple of years ago.”

Joel leans in closer to Ellie's ear and asks her something. She nods in response.

“What’s going on?” You whisper to them. 

“I think they’re part of the Fireflies.” He answers quietly, obviously suspicious of their intentions, before shouting at the men, “Are y’all part of the Fireflies?”

“Are you Joel?” The taller man replies.

Joel tenses up, looking at them with a worried expression, fearing the worst.

“Marlene’s been sending us all across the country ever since she arrived from Boston, saying we should look for a Joel and an Ellie. She even gave us a description of them.”

Joel starts walking towards them – armed, of course – with Ellie standing beside you as she watches him. They talk briefly among themselves. Joel signals the two of you to come to them once he’s confirmed that they’re indeed unarmed.

They begin by introducing themselves. The taller man is named Fred, and the shorter, more disheveled-looking man is named Terry. As they speak, they discuss the procedure that has been explained to them in detail in case they finally encounter the duo.

Ellie listens intently as they keep going. But once they mention a particular detail, it makes you uneasy, and your alarm bells go off internally.

“You mean to tell me that they want to crack open her head and remove whatever is protecting her? And kill the only immune person in the process, someone you should be keeping alive at all costs? What kind of doctors do you guys have?” Your voice is filled with outrage. Ellie looks unsure about the proposition after finally finding a place where she felt like she belonged. You can feel Joel’s anger just by standing beside him. The air is tense now that you’ve brought up the topic.

“Well, the fungus grows around the brain, so we’d have to remove whatever there is to make a cure.” 

“No fucking way. That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve heard in a while. Even before the outbreak, people managed to take samples from around – and inside – the brain without killing the person. Ellie. We’re leaving. No way you’re going with them.”

You turn and finally look at Joel. His eyes show nothing but the anger boiling inside him as his grip on his revolver tightens. There’s the look of a father who’ll do anything to protect his child in his eyes. He gnashes his teeth and says, “Ain’t no way you’re killing her for the slight chance of making a cure.” 

“Ellie?” Fred turns to her, since she’s the one who needs to make the final decision. She looks at the floor, thinking this through for a long moment. 

But when she lifts her head, her eyes seem determined.  

“… No.” She says, loud and clear.

You part ways with the Fireflies, making sure not to get followed so they won't make an appearance in Jackson later. They had no choice but to leave the three of you alone; your guns were clearly visible during that interaction. Joel made sure they’d take the news to someone named Marlene.

On the night you return home, Ellie stands by the front door, too hesitant to leave. She was uncharacteristically quiet on the way back, not humming a tune or cracking jokes. You love her puns.

“I… should probably head to bed.” She starts, her mind lingering on something else as she speaks. 

“Yeah, it’s getting quite late.” Worriedly, you reach out for her arm and caress it softly. “Are you alright all by yourself, though? You seem like there’s something eating you up. Mind talking to us about it?”

“I – I’ve just been wondering whether I made the right decision… I did kind of just doom the entirety of humanity by being so selfish.” She chuckles nervously as she shrugs.

“Oh, Ellie. I really don’t think they would’ve been able to make a cure. It's been over twenty years since the apocalypse began, and realistically, I doubt they could produce and distribute the vaccine to enough people. This is just the reality we live in now.”

“Yeah, don’t forget the amount of dead Fireflies we saw along the way here a couple years back. They’re probably too small of a group now to do anythin’ nowadays.” Joel adds this, resting his hand on her shoulder.

“… Ok. Thanks.” She smiles a little, seemingly feeling a bit better about it.

You frown, wondering if she’ll be alright by herself in the garage. “Would you like to stay with us tonight? You could sleep on the couch?”

“I’d love that.”

The day of your wedding has finally arrived. You managed to find cleaner, fancier looking clothes. They’re not suits, but at least you both will look more presentable. Joel engraved your initials on the inside of the wedding rings. You took care of cleaning his and your shoes, and you did a great job. Before heading to the building that Tommy and Maria have prepared for you, you stand in front of each other in your home, all dressed up.

“What do you think?” Joel spins around, holding out his arms. He’s wearing an off-white cream-colored dress shirt. His curls are slicked back, and his gray hair is more noticeable at the sides of his head.

“You look great.” A smile spreads across your face. 

“And so do you.” He reaches for the collar of your light blue shirt and unfolds it before folding it back down correctly. “But now you look perfect.”

You chuckle before kissing his cheek. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to button down the collar?” He asks, still holding onto the tips of the collar, his fingers brushing against the buttonholes on the ends.

“Nah, I’m sure. It would make it look a bit too casual.” 

“Yeah… Even though, I wouldn’t even mind getting married dressed up as cowboys, as long as we’re getting married.” 

“I know you love your cowboy movies, Joel, but we’re not going to fulfill that fantasy today. Maybe another time.”

“Oh hell. So there’s still a chance.” He grins.

“Yeah. But we should go now. We don't want to make everyone wait too long. Don't forget the rings.”

“I won’t. They’re right here.” He pats his pocket; the outline of the box the rings are stored in is clearly visible.

By the time you arrive, everyone is already anxiously waiting. You stand in front of Joel as Maria officiates the small wedding. Only your families and close friends are invited to the small, private ceremony. As you exchange vows, you notice Joel tearing up, which makes you emotional too. Ellie brings the rings to the front, then you and Joel exchange them before looking at Maria.

“You may now kiss the groom.” Maria adds with a big smile on her face.

The guests in the room cheer as you lean in to kiss Joel. His hands hold onto yours.

Just because the world is in chaos doesn't mean there can't be a nice dinner after the wedding ceremony. In the back of the room, Rosa and Sarah have set up some tables. Among them, there is one that is set with names written on little cards placed on empty plates. Nobody sits at that table. Like the people it’s meant to seat, it’s a ghost. The names on the cards are: Tess, Bridget, Riley, Henry, Sam, Bill, and Frank. 

Joel, Ellie, Rosa, Sarah, and you had carefully written the names of the people you wished could be there that day. People who stuck with you through the years.

Rosa stands up, along with Sarah, and gets the attention of those around her by hitting a fork against her glass. “Excuse me, everybody. Sarah and I would like to say a few words.”

You look at your daughters, pride showing on your face as you take a sip of wine from your glass. Joel reaches for your other hand, already anticipating that he will start crying.

“Joel,” Rosa begins in a serious tone, “the past few years have been really rough on my Dad. From losing Mom to having to look after Sarah and me, I could only watch as my father slowly lost the happiness in his life. That is, until the day you and Ellie showed up. From then on, I gradually saw my Dad return to the man he used to be. A man who is caring, warm, and enjoys spending time with people. A man who cracks a joke or two. A man who actually wants to know how people are doing. I’m thankful you two found each other. Thank you for showing my Dad how loved he is.” 

You push your lips together, trying not to burst into tears from her speech. Joel squeezes your hand as he sniffles.

Sarah smiles at you both, holding her glass up to you. “Dad. Mr. SB. I can’t express how happy I am to finally have both of my fathers together in one place. Even though I wasn’t part of the family, Mr. SB never made me feel like an outsider. I felt like I truly belonged in the family. And now, I’m just… so happy –” her voice breaks a little, and she holds back tears from seeing her own father cry. “I’m so happy to have two Dads. To be able to call Rosa my sister. To be able to call Ellie my little sister.” She smiles at Ellie, who is a little red in the face as she sits up and holds up her glass. “We love you.”

“So much.” Rosa adds before toasting. The tears stream down your face as you hold up your glass with Joel, who has let go of your hand to wipe away his own tears.

“Thank you, girls. We love you, too.” You say.

The dinner is short, but that's perfectly fine. Everyone goes home at a reasonable time, leaving Joel and you alone in your domicile with a basket full of wedding presents, which mostly consist of booze. You light a candle on the couch table while Joel gets some glasses from the kitchen to pour sparkling wine into.

“Here you go.” He sets your glass down on the table in front of you and takes a seat on the couch beside you.

“Thank you. I can’t remember the last time I drank sparkling wine…” You take the glass and undo the top button of your shirt with the other hand. Joel watches you as he lifts his glass for a toast.

“To us.” 

“To us.” The glasses clink together, causing the bubbles to detach from the walls and rise through the liquid. You take a big sip, closing your eyes to enjoy the taste. It's sour with a slight nutty aftertaste following the initial hit of carbonation. When you open your eyes, you notice Joel staring at you. You tilt your head, intrigued.

“Did you do that on purpose?” He poses the question in a deadpan tone.

“Do what on purpose?” 

He reaches for the second button of your shirt and undoes it further. “This.” 

You smirk, reaching out for his collar. “I might have. I was just getting comfortable.”

He lets you undo the same buttons on his dress shirt. His hand now rests on your leg. “It sure is.” 

You fall silent for a moment, wishing the world were different so you and Joel could travel around together.

“What’re you thinking about?” Joel’s question brings you back to reality. 

“Oh, eh – nothing important… just some wishful thinking.” 

He raises an eyebrow, squeezing your thigh softly. “Talk to me.”

“Alright. I was thinking about where I would’ve taken you on our honeymoon if the world hadn’t gone to hell.” You smile and take another sip.

“Now that’s certainly something. Where would you have taken me?” 

You think for a second, rubbing the hand that’s on your thigh. “I think… somewhere peaceful and quiet. Where we have a place all to ourselves.”

He hums at the thought, nodding. 

“What about you?” You lean in, almost giving him a kiss, and set the glass on the couch table.

“Hm, I think, to a similar place as the one you described… maybe in the mountains. Or in the woods.” He whispers, setting his glass aside as well.

”That would’ve been amazing…” 

“Yeah…” 

You finally lean in and press your lips to his. A comfortable warmth spreads through your body as he deepens the kiss, which quickly turns heated. You push him back against the couch. You straddle his lap while his hands undo the rest of the buttons on your shirt. He chuckles into the kiss as you try to do the same, but you slightly struggle with some buttons. You let out a frustrated groan when your fingers constantly slip away from the buttons.

“Wait, let me help you.” Breathlessly, he reaches for your hands after pulling away from the kiss. 

“I can do this. I just need to see.” You complain. He lets go of your hands and watches you as you finally manage to open his shirt. His hands moved on to cup your ass, giving it a few light squeezes.

He kisses your collarbone and makes his way up your neck, leaving a few marks along the way. With each touch, your excitement grows, and your pants feel uncomfortably tight. With a deep sigh, Joel pulls back to look at you. You rest your forehead against his.

His hands travel their way from your ass to your hips. One hand continues on to cup your cock through your pants. You swallow hard and breathe heavily as he feels your cock pulsate through the fabric.

“Well, would you look at this… This never gets old.” He smirks as his hand softly rubs against it, causing it to jump a couple more times.

“Mh – Jesus, Joel. I – I wanna… I need to.” You shiver, a moan forcing itself out of you. The friction from his hand against your erection increases as you shift your hips.

“Hm… What could we do? Would my husband like to suck me off today?” He whispers into your ear.

“Yes! Fuck… yeah.” You try to stop your hips from moving too much, but he finally removes his hand. You gasp for air as you recollect your strength.

“Then get on your knees, babe.” He kisses your cheek. You nod, get off his lap, and kneel down on the floor in front of him. He reaches out for his glass and pours some more sparkling wine into yours and his at the same time.

“Would you like some more before you start?” 

“Mhm, please.” You open your mouth and tilt your head back. Joel holds his hand under your chin to catch any spillage as he pours the sparkling drink into your mouth. You swallow it all and smile at him. ”Thank you.”

Unzipping his pants, you watch him empty his glass. The sparkling wine slowly makes its way through your body. You wriggle his cock out of his underwear, feeling the muscle twitch in your hand. The tip is light red, and some pre-cum leaks from it. You press a kiss to it and get a louder, softer breath out of Joel as he watches you. You lean in.

You swirl your tongue around the tip of his dick as you envelop it with your lips. As you do so, you pull his pants and underwear halfway down his thighs to free him a little more. With your left hand, you cup his balls and softly rub your thumb over the skin. Your right hand wraps around the base of his cock. It moves at the same speed as your bobbing head. Your tongue now covers your bottom teeth so you don't hurt him.

“Fuck, Space Boy. That’s it, you’re taking me so fuckin’ well.” He moans softly and bites his lower lip. You look up at him, meeting his gaze as you keep going. He tenses up in that exact moment, his hips moving slightly as he swallows a moan.

Blood rushes to your face, making it feel incredibly hot, as you continue. Your own erection throbs achingly inside your jeans. You hum, closing your eyes again as you take in more of his length. Your right hand is now only holding onto the base with your thumb and index finger wrapped around it.

“Beautiful – hah –  Just like that…” 

You pull your mouth off his dick for a second, breathing heavily as you replace your mouth with your hand to stroke him. You reach for the wedding gift basket and pull out a bottle of lube. “Gonna use this now.” 

“Please do. Let me just take these pants off a little.”

You stop stroking him and help him take off his pants and underwear.

“Just get a bit closer to the edge.” You unzip your pants since the throbbing pain has become unbearable. With a soft sigh, you free your dick. Joel inches closer to the edge and gets comfortable as you pour lube on your fingers. You take him into your mouth once again. He lets out a soft sigh when you press the tip of your finger into his anus. The hole is a little tight from the position. 

But you take your time, slowly stretching him out until your finger is fully inside him, and the moans flow out of him. As you do this, you bob your head. Your free hand wraps around your own cock, and you finally start to feel good yourself. The pre-cum spreads over your length as you carry on, the lewd, wet noise of your sucking ringing in your ears. You hollow out your cheeks and suck harder, keeping your eyes closed.

“Wait!” He exclaims breathlessly. You stop bobbing your head and moving your finger. You look up at him, your other hand still stroking your erection, which makes you moan around his length. His head is thrown back against the pillows. His chest rises and falls. One arm is over his eyes, and the other is grabbing onto one of the throw pillows.

You remove your mouth from his twitching dick and ask in a slightly hoarse, breathy voice, “Were you close…?”

“Mhm –“ He pants. 

“Alright, tell me when I can keep going then.” You go to pull out your finger, but he stops you. 

“There’s no need to take your finger out – just – just keep stretching me out… Please.”

You nod and chuckle, curling your finger inside him before adding a second. His thighs jerk and his spit-covered cock stirs each time you brush against his prostate and push your fingers deeper inside him. Soon, he’s stretched out enough. His face has turned deep red, and his grip on the throw pillow tightens.

“I think you’re ready now.” You breathe out in a moan as you rub your hand up and down your cock, then let go to kneel up. Sliding your hands under his legs, you pull him lower. He lets go of the pillow and caresses your face, wiping some drool and sweat off of it. You smile, humming as you kiss his lips, your hands touching his stomach. His skin is soft and slightly moist under your fingertips. You press your hips against his, your cock gliding against his, and deepen the kiss for a moment before pulling away and sprinkling kisses all over his face. This gets a laugh out of him.

“You’re such a softie.” He notes in a whisper.

“Look who’s talking.” You smirk and push yourself up to look down at him. He slides his hands under your open dress shirt and caresses your sides and back. Still wearing your pants, you pull them down slightly and pour some lube onto your length.

“Mhm… you’re looking so gorgeous right now.” 

You remove a strand of hair stuck to his forehead and press the tip of your cock against his anus, holding the base with your hand to guide it. The tip slides in slowly, making you pant softly. “Hah, so are you. You’re gonna be even more gorgeous in a bit…” 

He squeezes his lips together to muffle his whimpers and moans as you push your length inside him, inch by inch.

“So good for me.” You whisper in a huff once you're finally fully inside him. Your hand brushes his hair back as you kiss his forehead.

“Please –“ The moment he starts talking, you draw your hips back and thrust into him. His eyes flutter closed and his teeth bite down on his bottom lip. A muffled moan escapes him, sending your brain into hyperdrive. Your movements gradually pick up speed, your cock enveloped in tight heat that coaxes soft sounds of pleasure from your lips.

His hands grip your hips, not hindering your movement. His legs wrap around you so that he won't slide back on the couch. After some rougher thrusts, he finally lets his voice be heard, moaning your name between gasps. You press your forehead into his shoulder and listen to the slapping sounds as you pound into him. Then, you notice one of his hands kneading one of your ass cheeks before one of his fingers pushes into your anus, making your hips stutter.

“Fuck, Joel, that’s so hot… feels so good. Love you so much.” You respond with a quiet moan and slow down so he doesn't slip out while he continues fingering you. Your mind goes blank from the added pleasure.

“Hah – love you t – too!” He whines, his body tensing up as he gets closer to bliss. It doesn't take long until he's painted his stomach with his ejaculate, his lips parting with loud gasps. You pull out, and as he removes his finger from inside you, you stroke yourself over him. Your eyes are closed as you reach your own orgasm and finish all over his stomach, adding to the mess. You look at him and feel a warm sensation spread inside you when you see the expression on his face. His eyes are half-closed, his pupils blown out and dark, as he gasps for air from the orgasm. His thighs shake a bit from the aftershocks.

After catching your breath, you kiss him and brush his hair back from his forehead once again. You swallow and ask, “Would you like to clean up and continue enjoying our night together? Drink the rest of the sparkling wine?”

He nods, smiling widely. “Let’s do that.” 

You spend the night making sure the other knows how much they’re loved. The number of bottles in the gift basket decreases by two or three. Joel and you enjoy the buzz as you lazily make out and converse in bed.

The next day, you return to your usual routine. People in the community don't pay any attention to the new wedding bands you two are wearing, but they do point out Joel's slight limp to him. You chuckle to yourself when they do; his reaction only makes sense to you. Life together feels good.

Some time passes, and the weather becomes colder. Snow decorates Jackson and the surrounding mountains. It’s New Year's Eve. Ellie bursts through the front door of the house, making you snap your head around to look at her as you brew some coffee in the kitchen.

“Ellie? Is everything alright?”

“No, something horrifying happened to Dina and me while we were on patrol today.” She closes the front door behind her. “Where’s Joel? I need you guys’ help.”

“He’s upstairs. I’ll come with you.”

You follow her into the room where Joel is and listen to her explain how she came into contact with some smart infected. It didn't run at her when she screamed at it. It stalked her quietly until it could catch her off guard. The thought makes your stomach churn.

“Yeah, so I got fucking bit again because of that piece of shit.” She lifts her shirt, showing you the bite. You reach out to softly touch it and frown at the sight. It bit through her clothes. Through her thick jacket.

“Shit, that looks like it hurts.” 

“It does.” Ellie's sharp inhalation of air between her teeth makes you pull back your fingers. 

“Sorry. We should probably disinfect that after cleaning it out.” You pull up a chair so she can sit down.

“Yeah, I’ll grab the strongest alcohol we have.” Joel frowns and leaves the room to get something to clean it with.

“Space Guy… Could you cut it a little to make it look less like a bite? I could do that myself, too, if it’s too much to ask.”

“Oh – No, no. It’s fine. I’ll do it. Do you have your knife with you, or would you like me to grab mine?”

“I have it here.” She reaches into her pocket and hands you her folding knife. 

“Good. Wait just a second. I’ll clean it under running water and then disinfect it.”

Joel comes back into the room with a bottle of whiskey when you clean any dirt off the knife.

“Joel, do we have a suture kit?”

“We should have one.” He looks through a drawer and pulls out a small suture kit. Every house in Jackson has one to take on patrol in case something happens.

“Good.” You come back after wiping the water off the knife and pour some alcohol over it.

Ellie folds her shirt up so that it stays put. You hand her the bottle after drenching a cloth in it.

“Here. Take a good sip. You’ll need it.” As you say this, you carefully clean the wound before holding the blade to her soft skin.

“Wait, are you cutting into it?” Joel asks.

“I asked him to, Joel. I don’t want it to obviously look like a bite.” Ellie's expression reveals her internal preparation for the impending pain as she firmly grasps his hand. He frowns, but nods to let you start.

“Alright, if I go too far or too deep, don't hesitate and tell me immediately. I’ll start now.” You steady the surrounding skin with your other thumb and index finger while applying pressure with the tip of the knife. The knife smoothly glides over the skin, cutting with its sharp edge. Ellie grits her teeth and groans in pain, but doesn’t say anything.

“He’s almost done. You’re doing great, Kiddo.” He tries to soothe her.

You turn the knife at the curve of the bite, and a small amount of blood runs out of the cut. With the alcohol-drenched cloth, you clean it off once you’re done, making sure not to let any alcohol run into the open wound. Ellie inhales sharply when you apply slight pressure to the surrounding skin.

“I’m almost done. Do you want another sip of the alcohol?” You hold the needle in hand and look up at her. She nods, and with her free hand, she chugs a big gulp to ease the pain. You hold the sharp needle to her skin and slowly sew the wound shut so that it won't stretch open when she moves. Her stomach twitches at times, forcing you to slow down so you don't make any mistakes. Soon enough, she’s all stitched up and taking another sip from the bottle.

“There, it’s done.” You put gauze from the first aid kit on it and tape it in place with medical tape.

“Ugh… Thank you, Space Guy.” She slowly pulls down her shirt and stretches her side a little to adjust to the new sensation before standing up.

“Thank you for coming to us for help.” You smile as you stand up.

“Now, get some sleep. Do you still have enough gauze and tape in the garage to change it later?” Joel asks as he ruffles her hair.

“Yeah. I should also still have some pain meds for when I sober up…” She smiles softly as she takes her clean knife and folds it up again. “I'll lie down for a bit before heading to the party.” 

“Get some rest, Kiddo.” “Sleep tight, Ellie. We'll do the same.” Joel and you say simultaneously, still worried to death about her when she leaves. The knowledge of smart infected being around terrifies you to your core. 

That same afternoon, when you lie in bed beside Joel to take a short nap, you stare at the ceiling in the dark room. The sun has already begun to set in the winter sky, and the curtains on the windows block the last bit of sunshine from entering your bedroom. You try to find sleep. Joel inhales deeply when he turns around in bed, waking up from his light sleep. He notices that you’re still awake.

“Space Boy…?”

“Mh?” 

“You’re still awake.” He notes, rolling over to face you, his eyes still closed.

“Yeah… I’ve been thinking about the infected, that Ellie and Dina ran into today…”

He opens his eyes halfway and pushes himself up to sit in bed. You look at him and smile at the sight of his sleepy face.

“I’m a little scared.” You whisper.

“Oh, hun… Don’t worry. We’ll be fine, as long as we learn to deal with them. I’ll be here to protect you.”

“I know that… but who will be there to protect you?”

He frowns and lies back down, pulling you into a hug. “The people I go on patrol with are all very competent… And I’ve been on the other side of the behavior they’re showing. I know how to handle these situations.” 

“Alright. I’ll believe you.”

“As you should. Now let’s sleep, it’s gonna be a long night tonight.”  

You nod and kiss Joel’s cheek. He turns around to let you spoon him, tucking your arm under his and holding onto it. You press your nose to his upper back, close your eyes, and finally drift off to sleep. The nap gives you much-needed energy.

At the New Year's party that same night, Ellie seems to be doing alright despite her new wound. You made it to the party just in time to hear the band start playing. In a couple of hours, the clock will strike midnight, and you’re waiting for Joel to return with some drinks. You tap your foot to the beat of the music.

“Hey, stranger. You come here often?” Joel nudges your arm, hands you a glass of whiskey, and nods at you. He winks as he smiles.

You grin and take the glass, shaking your head. “Hi. No, I usually don’t.”

“Oh? That’s a shame. I’d love to see you around more often.” 

“Well, if that’s the case, I might just do that.” You play with your wedding ring before taking a sip, grinning from ear to ear.

“Would you like to dance later?” He looks you up and down before smoothing the collar of your shirt.

“Yeah, I’d love to. Thanks, Joel.”

Everyone is enjoying themselves, dancing to the live music and chatting over drinks. You stand beside your husband, enjoying his company and the soft tunes after some casual flirting. By now, the two of you have shared a glass or two of whiskey, and the alcohol has settled comfortably in the pit of your stomachs.

After getting lost admiring Joel briefly, you look over to see Ellie and Dina sharing a romantic dance on the dance floor. The moment they kiss, you lean in and whisper to Joel, “I win. You owe me a massage.”

He looks at you, then at the two girls, and rolls his eyes. But then he spots Seth walking over. Now, he knows that man. Anyone who’s shared a beer or two with him has ended up hearing his sermons about the sanctity of marriage and how it's losing its meaning nowadays.

Joel never laid a hand on him when he talked about these things, knowing he’d cry as soon as he did. But seeing his grumpy, drunk face make its way toward Ellie fills Joel with slight panic and rage. His body tenses up as he fears the worst outcome. You notice this as well, following Joel as he makes his way up behind Seth in order to listen to what he’s about to say.

Something about the way he opens his mouth and begins talking fills even you with rage. 

“This is a family event.” 

Dina and Ellie's kiss is interrupted by this sudden hostile behavior from someone towards them. They don't notice how either of you slowly approach the man from behind.

“Sorry.” Dina lets out a nervous chuckle before looking at Ellie, who’s smiling from ear to ear. Seeing that he’s not backing off, Dina adds, “Sorry!”

The two girls start walking away from him, rolling their eyes as if to say, “Can you believe this guy?”

“Remember next time there’s kids around.” He doesn't let them go, following them like a goose focused on chasing someone.

“Yeah, like you’re setting such a great example.”

“Oh, just what this town needs. Another loudmouthed Dyke.” 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Ellie points a finger and walks up to the man. Her angry look quickly changes to a grin when she sees who appears behind Seth.

“Oh, Buddy, you’re about to regret what you just said.” She comments, resting her arm around Dina’s shoulders and pulling her away from the older man.

You softly place your hand on Seth’s shoulder, squeezing it gently to get his attention. Then you say, “Now, that’s no way to talk in front of children, is it? Why don’t we go for a walk together?”

Joel stands beside you with his arms crossed as you push the other man in front of you. The music had stopped the moment Ellie raised her voice. Everyone turned around to see what was going on. Maria and Tommy panic when they see this, with Benjamin sleeping in his father’s arms. But Rosa is there to assure them that you won’t take it too far.

“He needs to learn what happens when he talks shit.” She adds with a wink.

“Resume the music. Y'all have fun. Kiddos.” Joel says, winking at Ellie before walking out behind you. 

The music starts playing again when the cold air hits your face and Joel closes the door behind him. There are kids around, after all. Kids who don't need to see someone about to get a good beating. Seth has been awfully quiet on the way outside. His body is tense, and his anxiety is obvious to the naked eye. You push him, sending him falling onto his hands and knees.

“Joel, do you want to go first, or should I?” 

“Go for it, hun.” He smiles. 

Seth turns around to sit on his ass and to look up at you. It seems like he’s just put all the puzzle pieces together. His eyes are wide open as he crawls back to get away from you.

“Shit – I – I didn’t know. I’m sorry!” He’s panicking. Probably because of the stories he’s heard about Joel’s past. People whisper about Joel when he shows a softer, gentler side, only to be brutal when he’s on patrol.

“Would you have considered shutting your mouth if you had known?” You kneel down meeting his wide-open eyes.

“I – I – Yes.” 

“Uh-huh. At least you’re being honest. Didn’t expect that from you, Buddy.” 

“I’m really sorry –” 

“Keep your apologies. You should be apologizing to Ellie and Dina, not to me.” You smile and reach out to grab him by the collar, pulling him closer. He lets out a pathetic whine, turns his head to the side, and closes his eyes when you raise your fist.

“P –  Please don’t kill me –” 

You chuckle. “Don’t worry. This is just gonna hurt. A lot.” 

Before he finds the words to beg you not to hurt him, your fist hits him in the face. A bright red mark appears on his already drunken red mug. He groans in pain. You let go of him and stand up to let Joel have a turn. He doesn't waste much time, straddling the guy with his fists raining down on his face once or twice before Seth spits out some blood.

You help Joel up before doing the same with Seth, then brush off any dirt that's on him. He’s trembling. There's a bit of blood on his lip, which you wipe away with your sleeve. Before you say anything, you slap your hands down on both his shoulders.

“Now. If we don’t hear that you’ve apologized to Ellie and Dina by tomorrow afternoon, we’ll need a repeat of this.”

He shakes his head no. “I – I’ll do that first thing tomorrow!” 

“Good. May the New Year bring you lots of love, laughter, and joy. Enjoy the rest of the evening, Seth. Go sober up.” 

Seth speeds off as quickly as possible, leaving his bloody spit on the ground. You turn to Joel, who’s smiling at you.

“I knew you were handsome, but that was a whole new side to you.” He nods, reaching for your hands to pull you close.

You chuckle and stare into his eyes for a moment before looking at his lips. “I could say the same thing.”

“Mhm… I wonder what time it is.” He whispers, letting go of your hands and grabbing your sides, his eyes wandering all over your face. There is some muffled cheering through the door.

“Why? Want to be my New Year's kiss?” 

“Damn. I’ve been found out, it seems.”

You cradle his cheeks, holding his warm face with your cold hands, before leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

“Happy New Year. Want to go back inside and dance a little?” 

“Happy New Year. Mh – yeah… It’s getting cold out here.” With a smile on your face, you take his hand and walk into the building. Maria pulls you both aside before you can get onto the dance floor.

“What did you two do to Seth?” She sounds like a mother worried about what her kids have been up to when they're being too quiet in the other room.

“Don’t worry, Maria. He’s still up and walking.” Joel assures her, squeezing your hand in his.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” 

She squints her eyes, crossing her arms. “Hearing that from either of you, is making me worry even more.”

You let go of Joel’s hand, nod, and place your hand on her upper arm. You lean in to whisper, “We just roughed him up a little. He might have a black eye tomorrow.” 

She glares at you when you step back. “You know I hate violence within the community.” 

“Yes, Maria. But, come on. You heard what he said.” 

She lets out a sigh, uncrosses her arms, and shakes her head. “I swear, you two are the worst.” 

“We love you, too. Now, if we may, we're going to enjoy the rest of the evening.”

She rolls her eyes audibly, but smiles when Tommy slides his hand under her arm and asks her to dance. Benjamin was taken home to Sarah and Antonio's for the night to give them a night to themselves.

Joel pulls you to the edge of the dance floor, placing his hand on your shoulder while holding your hand. You smile as you rest your free hand on his upper back. The music slows down once again. Your eyes stay focused on him as the string lights reflect off his dark brown eyes like a beautiful night sky in which you lose yourself momentarily.

“Do you have something to do tomorrow?” You quietly ask, wanting to keep the conversation as private as possible.

“I should be on patrol with Ellie and the other two… but I doubt that will happen given how much everyone's been drinkin’.” He chuckles before leaning in closer to you and softly presses his cheek against yours. His skin feels much warmer against yours; the alcohol has brought his temperature up slightly.

“Haha, yeah. That might not happen…” After some silence, you quietly whisper, “I actually wanted to ask if you would be interested in going home… to spend some time… dancin’ in another way. If you catch my drift.”

Joel audibly swallows, his hand letting go of yours so he can wrap his arms around you. You slide your hand onto his hip, hugging him and enjoying the closeness. Your body is burning hot from the alcohol in your system.

He pulls his head back a little, a loving expression on his face as he gazes deeply into your eyes. “Yes, I’d love to.”

Back home, you stumble slightly as you hurry trying to take off your shoes and jacket.

“Slow down there, Space Boy. I’m not going anywhere.” Joel smiles and furrows his brows as he watches you struggle to undo your shoelaces.

“I need to get out of these clothes.” You slur your words, biting your lower lip when your growing erection rubs against the cloth of your jeans just right, excitement growing for what's to come. Even though he’s taking his time, Joel gets rid of his shoes and coat quicker than you. He watches you amusedly with his arms crossed.

“Space Boy. Slow down or you’ll hurt yourself.” As he says this, he makes you take a seat nearby to take your shoes off for you. The shoelaces were tangled up due to your rush. “Let me help you.” 

“… Thanks.” You watch him undo the knot that had formed, and then he pulls the shoes off once the laces aren't as tight anymore.

“There. Now we can head to our bedroom.” He sets the shoes aside and helps you stand up. Your walking is a little unsteady, but you make it into the bedroom safely, where you finally push Joel against the door he just closed after himself, needily kissing his lips. The kiss doesn't last long as he pulls away.

“Whoa, being a bit rough there, huh?” Joel smirks while turning you around and pushing you against the wall instead. He grabs your wrists and pins them above your head while running his hand down your side.

You whimper, your body burning hot with desire. “Sorry, I’m a little drunk…” 

He chuckles. “I can see that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am too. But you’re most definitely worse off than m –” 

You interrupt him by kissing him once more. Your breath is heavy as he gives in to the kiss, squeezing your wrists tighter. He presses his body against yours, pressing your back against the hard wall. He deepens the kiss, his tongue licking over your teeth as yours reaches for his. A mixed taste of different alcohols dances on your taste buds, and your body tingles pleasantly.

His hand, once resting on your side, begins to unbuckle your belt. The metal clanks as it hangs from the loop of your jeans. He skillfully unbuttons and unzips your jeans without breaking the kiss or opening his eyes to see what he’s doing. The hand slides past the band of your underwear, its calloused fingertips pleasantly stimulating the underside of your cock. You moan into the kiss as a shiver runs up your spine from the touch.

When he pulls away from the kiss, you gasp as his hand wraps around your erection to slowly and lazily stroke it. Your body is so hot from this alone that your clothes begin to stick to your skin as you sweat.

“Now that’s better.” He whispers next to your ear, sprinkling kisses over your neck. Your wrists start to ache slightly from the tight grip he has on you, which doesn't loosen at all.

“Mmm… hurts – please, Joel… don’t be mean.” 

He stops leaving kisses on your collarbone, looks you in the eyes, and stops the hand that’s in your underwear at the same time.

“I wadn’t the one who started.” There's a cockiness in his voice, and his southern drawl is heavier than usual. You try to move your hands to tap against his. He’s blissfully unaware of how strong he is.

“I’m being serious –” 

“Oh. Sorry.” He releases your wrists and leans in to kiss you again. You let your arms fall, your hands landing on his shoulders. He pulls his hand out of your underwear and rests both hands on your hips to guide you to the bed. On the way there, you kiss his neck, enjoying the soft warmth against the skin of your lips.

“Let’s get you undressed and on that bed.” He breathes. Your hand has found its way to cup his boner through his jeans, forcing a moan up his throat.

“Mhm –” You undo one button on your shirt and pull it over your head, along with your undershirt. He chuckles at how fast you are as he watches you pull down your pants and underwear. “Now you…”

With a slow nod, he takes your hands and puts them on his chest. He waits for you to unbutton his shirt. “Since you’re so eager today, you could undress me.” 

You sway slightly from side to side and swallow, using the same technique to get him undressed. A minute or two later, you’re lying on the bed waiting for him to bring the lube you forgot in the bathroom.

“Jooooel… You’re keeping me waiting for too long!” You complain, your hand wrapping around your erection as you lie there. Joel shows up in the blink of an eye, his face changing into a smirk.

“I’m back. No need to jerk off by your lonesome anymore.” He jokes as he gets on the bed with you. “I have a suggestion.”

“Hm?”

“How much convincing would it take you to go for doggy tonight?” 

You look to the side and pretend to think for a second before saying, “Hmm, not much. None, actually.” 

“Oh – Good.”

Just like that, you're on all fours while his fingers slowly stretch your anus as you try to keep your head up. His fingers work their magic, getting your cock to twitch with every brush against your prostate. He’s made sure to use enough lube; the squelching noises of his fingers moving in and out of you are downright pornographic. Your eyes are closed with your mouth agape as you gasp and moan. Your head hangs low while your elbows shake.

He leans over you, pressing his chest against your back, and whispers into your ear, “How are you feeling, Space Boy? Think you’ve got enough strength to keep going?” 

You nod, feeling empty due to him pulling his fingers out. “Please – I need you…” 

He doesn't need to be told twice. So he kneels up, straightens his back, and holds his cock at the base, aligning himself with your hole. The tip presses against it, stretching you slowly. You bite your lower lip, trying to keep yourself together. But then he pushes in fully and hits your sweet spot straight on. This makes you gasp for air and moan loudly. Your arms give out and your face is pressed into the pillow in front of you. He holds onto your hips and moves in and out by mere fractions of an inch.

“You ok?” A moan almost follows his breathy voice. 

“Y – Yeah… hah.” You push your upper body up again and finally manage to get back on all fours. His hand reaches out to your neck, helping you maintain this position as he pulls his hips back until only the tip of his dick remains inside you. He thrusts back in quickly, his breathing getting heavier as he moves. When you open your eyes, they roll back in your head as his dick drills deep into you, making you see stars. Your mind goes blank as his thrusts pick up speed and create the sound of skin slapping against skin with each thrust.

A stream of breathy “hah”s leaves his lips as his breathing becomes heavier. His hand lets go of your neck, removing the last support for your upper body. Your face is pressed against the pillow once again. You turn your head so that you end up lying on your cheek. Your mouth is wide open, letting out moans, while drool drips down the side of it onto the pillow. A moan catches in his throat, and his lips stutter until he finds his rhythm again. He slows down for a moment before pounding into you faster than before.

Without warning, your body tenses, your legs shake, as an orgasm washes over you. Your hands grip the bedsheets so tightly that your knuckles turn white. It doesn't take long for Joel to reach his climax; a few deep thrusts send him over the edge. He releases deep inside you and doesn't move an inch, moaning softly as he caresses the damp skin on your lower back and hips.

“So fuckin’ good for me… only mine…” He murmurs. Your body is fully relaxed now, moldable as you lie face down with your ass up filled to the brim with Joel.

The next morning, Joel is supposed to go on patrol with Ellie, Dina, and Jesse. However, Jesse is the only one up by the gate at eight a.m. He tries to wake up the others. It’s no use. The more he knocks on your door, the less Joel wants to get up. You kiss his cheek and rest your head on his as you spoon him. Your eyes still feel heavy from staying up late, and your body is a little sore from all the previous night's action.

“Joel… We need to get up…” You whisper, your voice low and gravelly in the morning.

He touches the arm wrapped around him and groans softly as he takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to…”

“Joel! Come on, I can’t be the only one ready to leave!” Jesse’s frustrated voice is slightly muffled through your bedroom window.

Yet Joel doesn't move another muscle, his eyes still closed as he enjoys the morning a little longer.

“I know you heard him, too.” You move your head to rest it on your pillow as you try to pull your arm away, but Joel keeps it in place.

“Mh… No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

There doesn't seem to be any more knocking on the front door or any more screaming from Jesse. He’s probably moved on to bothering the next person. He’s out of luck if he tries to wake Ellie up next. By the time you left the dance, she and Dina were still there, drinking and enjoying themselves. Joel, just like you, is hungover and tired from staying up so late last night.

By the time you both finally get out of bed and have breakfast, it’s already well past nine in the morning. Joel has been complaining that his knee hurts and is worried that there might be a storm coming soon. Ellie and Dina join you for breakfast, looking just as miserable as the two of you. Dina slept in the garage with Ellie last night. But neither you nor Joel want to address it. No one but Jesse addresses it, as he sits at the table with his arms crossed.

They don't seem to want to talk to him about it. And they’re right to do so. They don't owe him an explanation at all. Seth is working in the kitchen that morning. Maria pulls Ellie and Dina aside to have him apologize to them. He doesn't avoid looking at you or Joel, but you can see a new form of respect or fear in his eyes.

Thankfully, the sudden shift in weather to a snowstorm is spotted just in time as the eight a.m. patrol is about to leave – at ten in the morning, one might add – and, due to everyone not feeling their best, the group stays. That was the best thing that could have happened today since, at the construction site, one of the workers discovers tendrils growing in the pipes, causing everyone to be on high alert. The briefing that Maria and Tommy had given that morning couldn’t have been better timed.

Everyone is on edge, ready with their weapons at the ready. In the aggressive, snowy wind, it’s difficult to see far ahead. The infected come running in huge numbers, but thankfully, the trench around the walls traps many of them. The people on top of the wall drop barrels of oil, sending them into the hole.

You look at Joel, grab the back of his neck, and pull him in for a quick kiss. “Please don’t get bit or killed.” 

Suddenly, there is a loud noise resembling wood being cracked open. There’s been a breach.

“Same goes for you.”  Even though he wants to appear tough, there's a worried sheen in his eyes before he turns around and runs to his position. You run up on the roof of the house where Maria is, overlooking the city you now call home. You need to keep watch of the door in case any of the infected make it into the houses up the stairs toward you. With your rifle ready and extra ammo packed into your pockets, you keep watch.

The infected come running through the streets. The initial attack on them at the walls has decreased their numbers. A shambler managed to blow a hole in your fortification. Loads of infected at different stages now run ahead of it. You aim your rifle and take out ten or fifteen of them until you see them running toward the front door of the building. A cold shiver runs down your back as you turn to look at the door behind you. It soon begins to shake from the mindless horde banging against it.

“They’re coming through the door!” You exclaim, readying yourself to turn around.

“Shit! Everybody, watch your backs!” Maria adds in a panic, doing the same as you.

They're adapting, after all. You didn’t doubt Ellie, but this realization makes you freeze for a second until the door breaks open and a dozen infected run through it. The people standing with you on the building do their best to get rid of the infected that have come up the stairs. It’s a dead end. Everyone needs to get downstairs, where they can run freely without risking their lives by falling to their deaths. Someone standing by the edge of the roof gets pushed off by a runner that leaps at them. Both of them fall to their death.

You're alert enough to snuff out the lights of three infected as you run down the stairs with Maria, who then splits off from you. A horde of twenty or thirty infected is in the middle of the street, and shots are being fired from left and right. You stick close to the walls, shooting as many as you can and looking for a clear path. However, your feet are unsteady on the fresh snow. You slip on some snowy ice, landing on your backside. The noise catches the attention of a nearby infected. As you try to crawl away, you push yourself backward until your back meets the wall of a house. With your heart beating faster, you try to stay silent.

Shit.

This is it.

This is when I die.

There’s no way to run. The clicker screams as it lunges toward you. 

You hold your rifle, so it sinks its teeth into the wood instead of into you. Like a wild animal, it tries to claw and bite you in any way possible. 

And it almost succeeds. In the blink of an eye, the mushroom-decorated head explodes into a splatter of blood. You push the body off you and ready your rifle. A familiar hand reaches for yours and pulls you to your feet.

“Don’t you fucking die on me, Space Boy.” Joel's stern, terrified voice brings you back to the present.

With a slight quaver in your voice, you smile and turn to look at him. You're relieved to see his face. “I thought I was a goner – Watch out!”

You hold up your rifle and quickly aim at the runner sprinting toward Joel, firing at it as many times as necessary for it to fall over dead.

“Shit. We need to get out of here.” 

“Let’s go, then!” You see another, smaller, faster clicker running your way, so you aim for its head and fire three rounds until it lies motionless on the floor. Joel runs up ahead but always makes sure you’re close behind. The ground is dangerous in some spots, but you manage to reach a safer area. Before you can press your back to his, the twisting movement you make when you turn around too quickly on the icy floor causes your left shoe to lose its grip, sending you flying straight to the ground. Your leg makes an ungodly noise. The pain shoots through your body. Joel is shocked when you scream out in agony.

“Space Boy! Your leg – it’s –“ He frowns, kneels beside you and looks around to keep watch.

You gasp for air when you try to sit up; your left foot is pointing the wrong way. Thankfully, no bone is poking through your skin or pants. The floor is ice-cold against your ass. The pain in your leg turns into a dull throbbing as the adrenaline rushes through your body, keeping you alert and numbing the pain. “Fuck! Joel, eyes on the infected! I’ll be fine for now!“

“What?! Are you sure –“

“I am! We need to stand our ground. Watch out!” You grab your rifle and ready yourself as more infected run toward you. As you quickly inhale through your teeth, you raise your rifle and aim at the closest one. Joel shoots down two or three more alongside you. The crowd of infected seems to slowly die down.

Tommy and Maria sprint down the road, running away from a small group that other men and women are shooting down. Maria had finally let the dogs out just moments before. With their help, they managed to take down a large number of them.

Your leg starts burning with agony once people start checking for stray infected, the pain from it having you break out in a cold sweat. Everything around you seems to calm down, but that makes the pain that much worse.

“J – Joel! It hurts so much –“ You cry out, trying to hold onto him to distract yourself from the pain. You grab onto his thick jacket, your knuckles turning white from the force with which you're holding on. Hot tears stream down your face, a sharp contrast to the cold winter air.

“I know… Shh, it’s ok. I’m so sorry, Space Boy, I’m trying my best not to make it any worse.” He tries to calm you down, kissing the top of your head before pulling the piece of cloth he’d obtained tighter around your leg. He’s put two sticks to it to keep your broken leg from moving when he ultimately picks you up to take you to the medical center.

“Jesus, what’s happened to you, Space Guy?” Tommy and Maria finally walk up to you. They look like they’ve been through hell themselves. Tommy’s knees seem a bit unsteady as he walks with his arm draped over Maria’s shoulders.

“Ah, I slipped on some fuckin’ ice.” You show them a pained smile. Joel slides his arm under your legs and back to pick you up.

“Careful, let me help!” Tommy helps his brother pick you up off the floor. The motion almost has you passing out from the pain.

“Jesus – Fuck! It hurts!” You grind your teeth together, trying to stay conscious despite the blinding pain. Your head throbs with each little hopping movement that Joel and Tommy make while holding you. 

As you're carried away, you watch the dead bodies pass by in a weird slow motion, noticing Gail kneel beside Eugene's lifeless body. 

You blink. 

Her screams distract you from your own pain for a second. But since Joel and Tommy keep walking, you can't see her anymore. The blinding pain returns. They do their best to quickly carry you to the medical center, which is filled to the brim with people.

Not even five minutes of waiting later, you receive pain medication that knocks you out while the doctors prepare to treat your leg. The whole process is a blur. The only thing that sticks in your mind is worrying about your family having come to harm.

The aftermath of the breach is heart-wrenching. Many of the people you called your friends died either due to an attack by the infected or from being bitten by one of them. Thankfully, Joel and your family were left unharmed. The girls took the kids into the basement of houses to keep them safe. Ellie, Dina, and Jesse defended the city from the front lines, performing admirably in the process.

The number of dead and burned bodies of Infected inside the trench and around the outside walls is shocking. Had there not been an extra layer of protection, the consequences would have been more severe.

By the end of the night, your leg is in a cast. Joel pushes the wheelchair they put you in, in front of him.

“You’re really handsome… You got a wife?” You grin widely as you look back at him. The pain medication makes you so high that you can barely keep awake.

Joel chuckles at your current state. “No, but I’ve got the most wonderful husband.” 

“Oh… What a shame. I wish I were him.” Your smile fades in slow motion. 

“Well. That’s the funny part. You are him.” He pets your head, making your heart flutter.

There's your drugged-out smile again. You look ahead as he keeps pushing you. “Ain’t I lucky!”

When you finally arrive home, your family is standing around the living room waiting for the two of you to return, just to make sure you’re alright.

”Dad! How are you doing?” Rosa worriedly runs up to you and grabs your hand.

“Hello, my beautiful star. I’m great. Did you know that I have a husband?” You slur your words, excited about everything.

“The doctors put him on some pretty strong pain medication.” Joel says this while pushing down the lock on the wheelchair so you don’t roll away.

Rosa laughs, her face no longer plastered with worry. “Yeah, I knew that. I’m glad you’re ok.”

Ellie, Dina, Jesse along with Tommy had brought your bed to the first floor. So, the moment you start nodding off, Joel pushes you into the new temporary bedroom.

“Thank you, honey.” You groggily say as Joel lays you down in bed. 

“You’re welcome.” He answers with a smile before pressing a kiss to your lips. Feeling content and high as a kite, you quickly fall asleep.

You're in a cast for several months, which means you can't work because you're not supposed to move your leg much while it's still healing. It gets boring really fast. You don't get to keep the wheelchair for long since you've been given crutches, and someone else in the community needed it more than you did. Nobody can push you around Jackson to show you the damage that had been done, and you can’t walk very well to see what’s going on.

The pain medication takes a toll on your body at first, causing you to sleep through most of the first few days. The other problem is that walking around with crutches is exhausting. The pressure on your hands and underarms from them hurts after walking longer than usual. 

Since you also cannot put much weight on your casted leg and have been given a weaker dose of pain medication, there is no way around it, you simply have to stay home and rest. And so you spend your days alone while Joel is out working with the others to rebuild the walls and houses of Jackson.

It gets lonely at times, especially when the sun is out and everyone is busy with the rebuilding effort. Jackson took a big hit. 

Occasionally, the girls visit you on their way to help the community in the morning. Sarah sometimes brings Sabrina, which is always enjoyable. She loves to draw, and your fridge is full of her and Ellie's masterpieces. 

With each visit, your cast becomes more colorful. Sarah, Jesse, and Dina scatter stars and planets around it. Joel adds a small heart in a less visible spot. Rosa adds butterflies and flowers. Ellie adds a beautiful, big fern motif. The number of people who stop by, talk to you, and leave bits of themselves on the hard shell around your leg fills you with joy. If only you weren't bored to death at home while they're all out.

As you sit on your living room couch, you groan. Your broken leg is itchy under the cast. It’s propped up on the couch table with a pillow underneath to make it more comfortable and to keep it elevated. You look around to see if you can spot something to scratch it with.

Nothing.

There’s nothing within reach that’s thin and small enough to fit between the hard shell and your squishy leg. You get up, using your crutches for support, and make your way to the kitchen.

You rummage through the drawer and grab a butter knife. With a grunt, you sit on one of the kitchen chairs and rest the cast on another chair. Using the knife, you carefully slide it between your leg and the cast to reach the skin below. It helps for a second, until the feeling returns, stronger than before. It’s so itchy that it hurts.

“Christ, this sucks.” You sigh deeply, stand up to throw the knife into the sink. Sitting back down at the kitchen table, you look out the window. It’s a beautiful, sunny day. You find yourself longing to go out to a lake and have a picnic with Joel.

After unsuccessfully trying to ignore the itch for some time, you softly tap against the cast, trying to get it to stop somehow. But that just sends a dull throb through your bone, so you stop and get back up to see if reading or crafting something would help. But nothing does. Ultimately, you make your way to bed, hoping some sleep might alleviate the discomfort.

As you lie in bed trying to fall asleep, you let your mind wander. You breathe out a deep sigh of frustration. As you drift off to sleep, your leg twitches from the itch causing you to jolt awake. Groaning in defeat, you think about Joel. He’s been really careful around you, making sure not to touch you too roughly or share any intimacy. You understand that he’s exhausted from working all day, but even when he seems to be in the mood, he avoids touching you. It's really upsetting to you.

Wait. 

Maybe that could help.

There's still a long time until Joel gets back home, so you could distract yourself in a different way. There's no harm in giving it a try.

You unzip your pants, pull out your soft dick as you close your eyes, and begin to imagine things. You think about the nights you’ve spent together with Joel, sharing heated touches and kisses. How his skin felt against yours. How he felt inside you, and how you felt inside him. The thought gets you going, and your cock slowly springs to life as you lazily tug at it to get it fully erect.

You sigh, remembering how good it felt to slide between his cheeks. Even though he had been trying to get you inside him, the sensation of your cock slipping between his ass cheeks felt incredible. It almost made you want to exclusively do that once. Press his cheeks together as you fuck them. A soft moan crawls its way up your throat. You're fully erect by now, so you spit in your hand, wrap it tightly around your cock, and start stroking it.

The itch you felt before is barely even there anymore as you keep going. Your dick throbs in your hand, and pre-cum runs down your shaft.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.” 

You quickly open your eyes and turn your head to see where the tsking is coming from and quickly pull the blanket over yourself. Joel is leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, watching you. “Is that what you do when I’m not around?”

Embarrassed that he just walked in on you jerking off, you feel your face turn hot and hide it in your hands. “My leg was so itchy.”

“What? What does that have to do with what you were just doing?” He steps up to you, a chuckle following his question. 

“Well. It was a way to distract myself from the itch. Nothing else I tried was working. What are you doing here so early, anyway?” 

“I wanted to come check up on you. I know how hard it is to be alone all the time… Would you like some help… with that?”

You look at him through your fingers and remove your hands from your face when you see him standing beside you. “M – Maybe.” 

“Alright, sit up and put your legs off the side of the bed.” He orders, holding his arms akimbo as he continues to observe you.

You nod before pulling the blanket off and pushing yourself up to a seated position. Carefully, you turn around letting your legs slowly slide off the edge of the bed. Joel kneels down on the floor in front of you. His knee cracks when he does so, which makes you chuckle.

“My knee’s been doing that for a while now…” He mumbles. You frown, worried he might hurt himself, but he reassures you, “Don’t worry, Space Boy. This will be fine.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes. Now let me take care of you.” He carefully places your cast on his shoulder. His hands twitch from uncertainty, as if he could break you with a touch. You reach out for his hands and intertwine your fingers with his. A smile decorates his face when he looks up at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat.

“Please say something if your leg starts hurtin’ again.” He whispers. 

“I will.” You smile back at him, letting go of his right hand and pressing your palm against the mattress. Still holding your left hand, he wraps his right hand around the base of your cock. It twitches from how excited you are to finally receive attention this way. You watch as he closes his eyes and kisses the tip covered in pre-cum, making you gulp in anticipation. Then, oh so softly, he moves on to kissing the underside of your dick. It all feels different from usual. He’s much more careful. Each little touch, lick, and kiss he leaves behind is sensual. It's almost as if he's worshiping your body, taking in every part of it.

It’s strangely addictive. You lift your free hand and caress his hair. Your fingers run through his long curls as you brush them back and off his face. His face turns a darker shade of red when his lips wrap around the tip of your cock. Letting out a soft hum, you keep your eyes open for as long as you can, but your lids are heavy. You’d love to close them to focus on what you’re feeling, but the sight of him on his knees holding your hand while taking in more and more of your length stimulates you to your core. A shiver runs through your body.

His mouth is hot and wet around your dick as his hand now strokes the rest of your length. He hollows out his cheeks and moves his head up and down slowly. You let out a small moan and close your eyes for a split second. His hand squeezes yours. He pulls his head up so that only your tip remains in his mouth. Staying like this, his tongue rubs around it, making your dick twitch. Your breathing becomes heavier as you open your eyes. He takes more of you in, opens his eyes to meet your gaze.

This tickles a soft gasp out of you, which gives him the motivation to keep going. He bobs his head a little faster now. You can feel yourself building up a sweat as your skin gets damper.

“Joel – hah – mh so close…” You moan, your head lolling forward as you close your eyes and tighten the grip on his hand. He hums, the sound meant to encourage you some more. Your body burns, and your high is blissfully close as it builds. Pulling on his hair, you push his head down further onto your cock as your hips buck slightly the moment you come. Hot strings of ejaculate flow into his mouth, causing him to almost gag on it.

“Thank you… love you – thank you so much…” You mutter, still feeling fuzzy from all the pleasure. You open your eyes and see Joel eagerly swallowing everything. As he licks your dick clean, you gulp, feeling his hot, heavy breath on the spit-covered skin.

Once you’ve calmed down, he gently lowers your leg, zips up your pants, stands up, and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Hope that helped.”

“It did… Thank you, honey.” You hug him tightly and press your face to his lower stomach. Then, you notice something. You can feel how hard he is, his cock twitching when you brush against it accidentally. “You know, I’d love to return the favor.” 

“I –  I’d love that myself, but I don’t think you should.”

“Come on, Joel. I’m not that fragile.”

“You broke your leg. From slipping on ice.” He hesitantly tries to back off, but you keep him close.

“That could happen to anyone… Come on. I don’t want to be the only one getting off. I miss you, Joel.” With your best sad puppy-dog eyes, you stare up at him.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“I’m sure. Please let me do this for you, Joel… I beg you. It’s been months…” You nod and hold onto his sides, trying to get him to stay close.

“… If you’re so eager, I can’t really say no.” He stops trying to pull away his hand caressing your head as he sighs. You loosen your grip around him and look up at him with a smile.

“Thank you.”

He shakes his head, a smile creeping onto his face. “Let me get you a chair so you can put your leg up at least.”

After getting a chair, placing a pillow on it, and helping you lift your leg onto it, you pull him closer, your eyes level with his belly button as you sit on the low bed.

“You look so good in these jeans.” You note this as your hands touch his hardened cock through the fabric. Your fingertips want to pull his cock out, but you have another idea. With your eyes fixed on his for a moment before closing them, you press your face against his bulge, savoring the sensation of the muscle twitching against your cheek. You open your mouth and press your lips together around where his tip should be. His body tenses, reacting to your every move. With a heavy exhale, the need to release his length from the cloth finally overtakes you. You quickly unbuckle his belt, unbutton his pants, and pull down the hem of his underwear to free him.

“Look at you, all hard and panting.” You tease him with a smirk when you look up and see him breathing heavily, his cock jumping in excitement. The tip is dark red, and pre-cum is already beading there. You run your thumb over it, spreading it all over it. As you wrap your hand around the base, you slowly begin stroking him.

“Oh, shut up and suck me off already…” A groan accompanies his complaint. 

You let out a chuckle and nod. “Alright. You’re excited. That’s good.”

With your hands pressed against his legs, you lean down and lick his length. The sweat from working all morning tastes salty on your tongue. The sweet smell hits your senses, leaving you wanting him even more. You lick over his veins, feeling each bump of his skin against your tongue.

A shaky breath leaves his mouth as his eyes close. His clothes ruffle when you slip your hand into his underwear, which comfortably holds his cock up as you wrap your lips around it and take in more of his length with each forward movement of your head. The tip of his erection presses against the roof of your mouth several times before you turn your head slightly and allow it to push against the inside of your cheek. Your hand inside his underwear toys with his balls as you keep going.

He sharply draws a breath between his teeth, followed by a moan. “Too good… Space Boy, you’re too good to me…”

“Mh – anythin’ for the love of my life.” You say, taking his cock out of your mouth for a second before going back to blowing him. With your cheeks hollowed out, you try going for some deep throating, focusing on not gagging as his cock reaches the back of your throat. It feels tight around his tip, which makes him moan louder. His hand pushes your head further down his length. Your nose is nestled between his pubic hair and shirt. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you close them, and tears form in them. You pull your head back a little but move back into the same position a second later when his hands push your head back toward him.

His hips start moving on their own. It's as if he's been starving for you but has constantly been holding back these past weeks because he was afraid of hurting you further. You hum around his cock as he fucks your throat. Spit runs down the sides of your mouth as he does so.

“Mh – Fuckin’ love you… so close –” A moan gets stuck in his throat. His breathing is heavy as he goes on. You move your head with his thrusts, sucking harder.

Just when he’s about to topple over the edge of his orgasm, he pulls out entirely, stroking his cock while holding your face with his other hand. You close your eyes and keep your mouth open, panting for air with your tongue slightly sticking out. He presses the tip of his cock against your tongue.

His orgasm washes over him like a wave, melting away the frustration that has built up over the months since he last made love to you or masturbated. Most of the ejaculate lands in your mouth, while some spurts decorate your face. He strokes his dick a few more times to make sure he’s covered you in all of his semen.

You open your eyes and meet his gaze. His pupils are big and dark as they watch you pick up some cum from the corner of your mouth. You push it into your mouth and swallow it along with the liquid already pooled there.

“Jesus… so hot.” He breathlessly watches in awe, swaying a little before adding, “Wish we could go further.”

You smile and reply, “Soon.” 

After sitting around at home for about five months, the cast is finally removed when you visit the medical center for a checkup. Standing on both legs again feels amazing. The medical staff cut it off so softly that it tickled. But you were finally allowed to scratch it once you’d washed it off in one of their showers. Feeling free and full of energy, you walk toward the front door of the building. It’s summer. The weather is warm and pleasant – perfect for going outside.

“Joel! I’m finally able to walk normally.” You smile as you leave the medical center through the front door. His eyes light up when he sees you happy. The last few steps to close the distance between you are quick as you almost run toward him. You pull him into a tight hug and take a deep breath when you press your face into his shoulder.

“Hey, this is incredible, hun. Did the doctor say anything else? Got any restrictions?”

“Nope! I should actually move as much as I can, to build up the muscle again. I already have an idea, actually. We should go fishing or on a picnic together. Just the two of us. Outside the walls, at some nearby lake. Jackson might be becoming a big city, but it felt so small when I couldn’t move.” 

He chuckles before caressing your cheek as he stares at your face. “I think I might know a spot. I’ll ask Tommy and Maria if we can have a patrol close by so we can be there in peace.”

“That sounds wonderful.” You kiss him and grab his hand. Holding it, you start walking down the road.

“Where are we going?”

“Home. There's something we need to do very urgently.” 

He chuckles as you make your way home, the birds flying overhead. You finally get to experience each other's bodies moving against each other and feel the way his skin bends under your fingers. The summer heat isn’t the only thing making you sweat as you spend the afternoon catching up on missed lovemaking from the first half of the year.

A week later, you're on your way to a fishing and picnic date early in the morning. You weren't allowed to take horses, since the patrol groups needed them most. But you walk alongside Tommy and Jesse, who will be patrolling on horseback. They were nice enough to carry some of your heavier bags with them. You packed worms from the community composter to use as live bait, a cooler for the live fish you catch, a change of clothes in case you want to swim in the lake, and something to drink and eat. Depending on how big the fish are, they will be brought back to the community to cook.

You carry the net that will be placed in the water to keep the fish alive and fresh. Joel holds the net that will be used to pull the fish out of the water once they bite.

“We better not catch you two being indecent,” Tommy jokes when you finally arrive at the lake. After grabbing the bags and fishing gear off the horse, you set them down. Jesse rides a bit further away to keep an eye out for any infected or strangers.

“Don’t worry. We’ll make sure to only start when we know you’re watching,” You reply and wink, catching Tommy off guard by not being bothered by his joke. The radio on his belt and the one by Joel’s bags crackle to life with a voice coming through.

“Jesse, Tommy? Have you four arrived at the lake yet?”

Tommy adjusts his position in the saddle and grabs the radio, speaking into it. “Yep. Everything clear so far.” 

“Good, keep me updated.”

“Heard.”

Meanwhile, Joel is setting up the picnic blanket by the lake and unfolding the fishing rods as you speak to his brother. The air is fresh this morning as the sun rises over the mountain range behind the lake.

“Thank you, Tommy.”

“What? Oh, no biggie. Anything for my brother and my brother-in-law.” He smiles softly and says, “Now go on. Catch some good trout.”

You nod at him and wave them off. They'll be coming by every hour or so. You walk up to Joel, grab your fishing rod, and sit down on the blanket beside him.

“You think we’ll catch somethin’ good today?”

“I hope so. I’m hoping for some rainbow trout or bluegill.” You smile as you reach for the lure box and stab a worm onto the hook. Joel stands up and walks to the lakeshore, casting his line. He throws his line pretty far. You stand up and join him, doing the same.

“Huh, those sound pretty solid.” He smiles, watching over the water. 

You stand by the shore together, holding the rods and reeling in from time to time to see if any fish bite. There is no pull on either of your lines. Birds sing around you as you wait. About half an hour has passed. It doesn't seem like there will be any bites soon, so you stab the rod handle into the gravel by the lakeshore and take the few steps back to sit on the picnic blanket. Joel follows suit, sitting beside you overlooking the lake.

“You chose the perfect place…” You mumble, watching the trees sway in the soft summer breeze. 

“I told you I knew a good spot.” He chuckles, turns his head in your direction, and caresses your cheek for a moment. You smile and look at him, enjoying the moment.

“Thank you. It’s wonderful.” 

Joel nods with a grin, leans in, and kisses you softly. Then he whispers close to your lips, “The best part about it is that we’re spending some time all by ourselves…” 

You stare at his lips and chuckle quietly. “I agree.”

He kisses you once more and deepens the kiss as you lie back. Rolling over, he lies on top of you, holding your face with his hands as you kiss. Your touches quickly turn heated. His hip softly grinds against yours after he licks over your teeth your own tongue following his. You pant softly when he pulls away and leaves kisses all over your neck down to your collarbone as you carefully throw your head back to make more space for him. A moan leaves your lips when his hand squeezes your crotch, your cock semi-hard by this point.

“Joel, we’re passing by you guys in five minutes.” Tommy's voice comes through the radio, interrupting you both. Joel groans as he rolls off you. You rub your hands over your hot face before sitting up and adjusting your pants. The fishing rods are still by the shore, with no visible tension on the lines.

“Tommy always knows the best time to come see us, huh?” You laugh and wait for the two of them to show up.

“He does. You know he loved to just come by unannounced, even before the apocalypse.”

“Yep. It was funny when he saw us and Bridget watching something with the girls. He didn’t think you had any friends.”

“Well… I wasn’t the kind of person to have many friends, after all.”

“Neither was I… I’m happy I have you guys.” You look down at the picnic blanket where you see Joel’s hand close by. When you look back up at the mountains, you put your hand on his, enjoying the feel of his skin against yours.

“Anything bite yet?” Tommy’s voice grows louder, accompanied by the soft thuds of his horse’s hooves on the dirt floor.

“No, nothing so far.” Joel answers and sighs. 

“It’ll probably still –” You start your sentence, but then you notice the line of your fishing rod tensing up and bending the tip down. “Shit, speak of the devil.” Quickly getting up, you step forward to grab the rod, reeling in the line as you pull it back slightly while holding onto the handle tightly. The fish is trying to swim away, but you have successfully hooked it.

“Son of a bitch wants a fight.” You grunt and pull the rod back. The fish fights hard to get away, but you manage to keep it on the hook. Sometimes you give it more line so nothing snaps. Joel watches, along with Tommy, who had gotten off his horse to watch. Jesse sighs, annoyed by his partner's greater interest in fishing than in the job he's meant to be doing.

After five solid minutes, the fish's silhouette is finally visible close to the shore. It looks big. Joel holds the net in the water as you pull the fish in its direction. You lift it up. The animal flops around in the air briefly before landing in the net.

“Finally! First catch!” You exclaim as you look at the fish you just caught. It has uniform black spots on its back, and the tips of its fins are white. The scales shine iridescently. “Hell yeah. A rainbow trout, about 14, 15 inches.” 

Joel holds the handle of the net as you unhook the fish. It wiggles around in the net, opening and closing its mouth as it tries to breathe. “Quick. Put it in the bigger net.”

You nod and open the top of your net up. Joel tilts his net, letting the fish flop into yours. You tie the top of your net together and put it, along with the fish, back into the water. The fish calms down inside it and swims around a bit.

“I call dibs on that one.” Tommy says, still around after all this time. 

“Tommy, we need to keep going.” Jesse’s annoyed already.

You laugh as you grab some more live bait and hook another worm. “We’ll see. If this is the only fish we get, it’s our dinner.” 

The two finally leave again. By now, Joel has also gotten a bite, so you watch him after casting your line again. He manages to reel in a channel catfish of a similar size, which he adds to the bag of fish to take home and eat.

“Seems like we’ll be busy fishing some more before we can go back to what we were doing before.” He says this while watching you pull in another fish as he holds the net to help you.

“Yeah. But this is good.” You chuckle, after releasing a smaller trout, and wait for another fish to bite. As time passes, the bites slowly get scarcer. You’ve caught a handful of fish by now, and Joel has caught seven or eight. Jesse seems more interested each time they come by. After five hours, you take a quick food break.

The rods lie beside you on the floor. The other two on patrol just left. You enjoy the sounds of nature as you finish packing up the rest of your meal. Joel sits beside you. You ate around half an hour before Tommy and Jesse came by last. You lie back and look up at the sky before closing your eyes. The sun is above you, but thankfully, the trees provide enough shade. The air has gotten hot in the meantime. Joel rolls onto his side and watches you.

“Space Boy.” 

“Hm?” You look at him and are greeted with a kiss.

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” With a smile, you press another kiss to his lips. His hand rests on your thigh and squeezes it softly.

“You think we have time for a quickie before they come back…?” He whispers. 

You nod before pulling him on top of you as you deepen the kiss, running your tongue over his lips. He hums into the kiss, his hands slipping under your shirt to play with your nipple. The rough calluses on his fingertips stimulate you pleasantly, getting you hard in record time. You moan into the kiss, feeling his hips roll to grind against you.

Heavy breaths escape his mouth when he pulls away. He rests his forehead against yours and slips his legs between yours, grinding his hardened, covered cock against yours. 

The friction from the cloth, zipper, and everything else is almost overstimulating. All of this only helps get him and you closer to your impending orgasms faster. As he keeps going, your body burns up and builds up a sweat. The summer heat around you only makes it worse. You grab his hip and join his grinding movements, chasing your high.

“Hah… feels so good, Joel…” You moan softly as he speeds up, almost as if he’s imagining fucking you right then and there. The thought makes you gulp.

“You’re mine… all mine… Mh…” He breathes heavily before kissing you once more. Your mind goes blank as your cock twitches in your jeans, only a few more thrusts before you orgasm. A wet patch slowly appears on your jeans. His hands squeeze your sides. He moans into your mouth as he joins you in your high, releasing in his pants. His grinding thrusts slowly come to a halt as you breathe into each other with your foreheads pressed together.

You grab onto his hips, groaning in the aftershock. “We… we… fuck…” 

He chuckles before pressing his lips to yours once more. “…We should jump into the lake and wash ourselves along with the clothes?” 

You open your eyes and look at him. His hair is stuck to his forehead from the sweat. After looking down at yourselves, you nod and brush his hair out of his face. His jeans, just like yours, are soiled. “That’s a great idea.” 

He pushes himself off of you to stand up and helps you to your feet before kicking off his shoes and racing you to the lake. After taking your shoes off, you jump in after him. The lake water cools you down amazingly in the afternoon heat. Underwater, you unbuckle your pants and pull them off, along with your underwear. You make sure to wash them a little before throwing them onto the shore. Joel does the same before grabbing the bottom of your shirt and pulling it over your head.

“There you go.” He smiles after taking his shirt off as well and throwing it to join the rest of the clothes. You pull him in for a kiss, hugging him tightly and leaving him grinning from ear to ear.

“You know what I’m thinking about right now?” You ask.

“About how long Tommy and Jesse are gonna take until they appear again?” 

“Yep.” 

“Well, I couldn’t care less for now. The water feels so good, we can just swim for a while.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

You swim in the lake for a while, enjoying the cooling effect it has. Tommy and Jesse don't return for a while. They radio in that they found a couple of stray infected, that they're taking care of a little further away. Thankfully, there haven't been any in the area where you and Joel are, allowing you two to just sit on the picnic cloth as you dry off in the sun. Once they radio that they’re on their way, you quickly throw on the spare clothes you packed and hang the drenched pants, underwear, socks, and shirts up to dry.

“Joel. I need to tell you something.” You shift, turning to look at him as you sit on the floor.

“Shoot.”

You’re filled with adoration as he slips on his fresh pair of socks. 

“You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life.” With a small tear of happiness in your eye, you caress Joel’s cheek. His eyes flutter a little before a smile graces his face.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

ok this sht is so beautiful and so cute and and--

im in love with this fic

im in love with space boy and joel

im in love with how GOOD sht mr ted writes

hell yeah

go read this

and reblog it

and go read @pedritofics' other fics

and reblog them

yeah.

But the lying eyes are shut forever

Part two

With the arrival of both Joel and Tommy Miller in Jackson, your life has drastically improved. The guilt of possibly having taken Sarah away from her family slowly subsides, and you finally have time to think about yourself for once. The only downside is that your dreams have become weirdly sexual, starring you and Joel. After struggling with your feelings for weeks, you confess to Joel, but then you run away, leaving him with the revelation.

This is the outbreak version of Lying eyes!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 16k words

Warnings: SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, outbreak au, reader is married and has a daughter, switch! Joel Miller, character death, mentions of blood, emetophobia, slight gore, blood, homophobia, internalized homophobia, Christian themes, the girls live!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

To part 1 — To part 2 — To part 3

Joel did not expect you to catch feelings for him. Nor did he expect that you would fall for a man. Or that you'd be so blunt with your confession. He had lost Tess over a year ago now, so the wound was smaller but still needed time to heal. But, as he slumps on his couch thinking about you, he can’t help but realize how at home he feels in your presence. And how warm and safe he feels when he's with you.

Of course, you’re not the only person he feels at home with. His daughters, Sarah and Ellie, have given him hope that he thought he had lost long ago. But you… you are like a lighthouse to him. You have given him hope for the future by protecting Sarah all these years and by being a familiar face from before the atrocities of the apocalypse. A good friend he can confide in and be himself with again.

But is it possible that he feels the same about you, too? He starts thinking about how you avoided his gaze lately. Your eyes shamefully darting away as you softly spoke to him. How there was this expression on your face that he'd never seen you make before – no.

Wait. 

He had seen you like this before. It was a look he'd noticed on your welcoming party at his house in Texas. You were looking at him the same way you used to look at Bridget. It was a look of adoration. And, now that he thinks about it, it is kind of… cute.

With a fluttering heart and a groan, he covers his face with his hands. The house is so quiet. And there is no need to be on high alert anymore since him and Ellie decided to stay in Jackson; it's driving him insane. The worst thing is that your smile keeps popping up in his head.

A feeling similar to anxiety spreads through his stomach as it burns in his gut. His mind is uncontrollable at this point, showing him only little details he’s picked up about you this past year: the way you express excitement about something no one else notices and how good you smell when he hugs you. Before long, these memories give way to imagination as his brain unconsciously begins to undress you. The moment this happens, though, he quickly gets up from the couch and almost topples over the couch table.

He needs to get out of the house right now; he can’t be alone with his thoughts. Maybe a drink or two could help him stop thinking about you for a moment. That, and a conversation with his brother, since he can't really face you right now, his ears burning hot when he realizes you've made an appearance in his head once more.

His fist knocks against the door of his brother and sister-in-law's house as he tries to focus on everything else. The night air is cool, and solitary clouds drift in front of shining stars in the endless distance of space above. Joel stands there with his arms akimbo as he waits for his brother to open the door.

“Joel? What are you doing here so late?” Tommy opens the door just a crack and whispers so as not to wake his wife and child.

“I… something happened that I need to talk to you about. In private. With something to drink.” 

His brother furrows his brow before nodding and getting ready to accompany Joel to the bar in the dead of night. The bar is welcoming thanks to the dim lights Tommy turns on – the room is warm due to the working heating. He pours the first few glasses in silence while Joel gathers his courage to tell him what happened. When he does, he’s met with an infuriatingly annoying reaction.

“Tommy… stop laughing, goddammit. I’m being serious.”

Tommy's laughter grows louder with each protest he brings forth, and the whiskey they're sharing is heating his face uncomfortably hot. That or he's really embarrassed about the whole situation… actually. He is. He’s really embarrassed and tipsy enough to admit it.

“Sorry, brother. You should see your face right now.” The younger brother wipes a tear from the corner of his eye and takes a deep breath before continuing, “So Space Bud has a thing for you. What’s the problem here?”

“The problem…” He hides his face in his hands and groans. His heart beats like crazy just remembering what you said before telling him about your feelings, and the thoughts you planted in his brain by doing so. “The problem is that I was pissed off that he avoided me all week, only to have him drop this on me.”

“But did something happen between the both of you for him to do that?” He raises an eyebrow, amused. 

“No! No, he just – I guess he’s been having dreams about us.” Joel swirls the whiskey around in the glass before taking another sip.

Tommy laughs at the novel information, “Wait. So you drag him aside to ask what’s up and he – he tells you about the wet dreams he’s had with you and that made him realize he’s got feelings for you? Oh my God, Joel. My stomach hurts from laughing so much already. I don’t think I can take much more.”

“I knew you’d react this way. I should’ve stayed home.” He complains.

“Alright, alright. I’ll try to calm down.” Tommy’s laughter turns into a mischievous smirk. “What about you, though? You have some feelings for him, too? I ain’t judgin’ if you do.”

“What – I um… I don't know if I even…” He falls silent, thinking it over. Tommy tries not to laugh again as he watches his brother closely. Joel frowns, drinking the rest of his whiskey in one shot, his mind racing with romantic imaginations of you, his heart beating like crazy in his chest.

“… Let me ask you a different question. Would you be appalled by giving it a try?” Tommy pours Joel another glass, which he gladly accepts.

You need to work on something to take your mind off things. Fortunately, there’s always a demand for repairs and new shoes. The morning is quiet and cold. A fresh layer of snow covers the streets of Jackson. On your way to the workshop, the atmosphere is comfortably silent. Once you start working, your mind thankfully goes on autopilot, ignoring the anxious feelings you had all night long.

The jingle of the workshop’s front bell brings you back to reality.

“Hello –” You stand up to see who just stepped in and are met with a swaying Joel. His face is deep red, and a smell of alcohol accompanies him as he sets foot inside.

“Space Boy. I – I thought ‘bout what you said…” He slurs his words as he shoves his hands back in his coat pockets.

“Joel? How are you drunk this early in the morning?” You walk up to him to support him; he looks really unsteady on his feet.

“Never actually went to sleep last night… thanks to you.” His hand rests on your lower back. You sling your arm under his to hold him upright. With his other hand, he reaches over and pulls your face toward him, forcing you to look deep into his warm, deep brown eyes. You can see a hint of doubt in them. His breath reeks of whiskey.

“Let’s not do anything you’ll regret when you’re sobered up, ok?” With a frown and a racing heart, you remove his hand from your face and walk him out of the shop to try to sober him up with the ice-cold winter air. You grab a handful of snow and shove it into the back of his shirt to try to snap him out of it, or at least make him a little more alert.

“Ugh – Space Boy, what the hell?!” 

Your idea helps a little; he seems more aware of his surroundings. As you start walking down the path with him, you glance down the road and see Tommy making his way into one of the houses ahead. He notices you too, and a stupidly wide grin spreads over his face as he waves at the two of you.

“Tommy! Come back here and take care of your brother, dammit!” You shout, getting a laugh out of the man you’re addressing.

“No way! He already spent the whole night ramblin’ on. He’s all yours, Space Bud!” And just like that, he disappears behind the door.

With a sigh and a groan, you continue walking, destination: Joel’s house. He starts sliding off your shoulder, which makes it harder to walk.

“Joel?” You ask, turning your head to look at your friend.

“Yeah?” He rumbles, shifting his head to look at you. His eyes are half-closed. The whites around his pupils are slightly red, probably from lack of sleep.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, alright? I can’t carry dead weight anymore.” 

“Mhm.” With your support, he does his best to stand up straight, but every so often, he sways to the side as he slowly takes one step after another. On the way to his house, you see your eager apprentice, who is already on her way to the workshop.

You nod at her and inform her, “Hey, Ellie. You can take the day off today. Maybe check on that new friend of yours, Dina.” 

“Space Boy…” Joel grumbles unhappily as you adjust your hold on him so he doesn't slip off your shoulder again.

“Eh… sure, thanks. What’s up with him?” She raises an eyebrow, a slight look of worry spreading across her face.

You sigh and shake your head with a smile. “He just ain’t used to keeping up with his brother anymore when it comes to drinking.”

“Jooooel, you need to learn some restraint.” She nods and laughs a little before waving her hand in front of Joel’s face like he's a child, and then walks off into the workshop. Moments later, you feel him tense up against you.

“I think I’m ‘bout to hurl…” He mumbles.

“Shit –” You hold him as he empties his stomach's contents by the side of the road. There's not much you can do to help him at the moment, except hold him. As your hand rests on his chest to support him, his own finds its way onto yours as he tries to calm down his breathing.

“You really need to go to bed, Joel.” 

He nods, holding himself together. The two of you finally make it back to his place. After convincing him to drink a few glasses of water, you persuade him to take a quick cold shower before lying down. However, he’s so unsteady that you end up helping him undress until he’s standing in front of you in his underwear.

Even though it’s not that warm, you find yourself sweating from nervousness. Thankfully, he steps into the shower without a word and turns the water to its coldest setting. 

“Oh! Oh, shit –“ Gasps force their way out of him when the ice-cold water hits his skin. His arms cross in front of him as the water runs down the sides of his face. In this state, he could slip and hurt himself, so you watch over him, but it's hard to keep your eyes off him for long.

“Fuck – Jesus, this is cold!” He forcefully expels the air from his lungs as his body shivers from the cold. His skin has turned bright red from the temperature when he finally turns the water off. You could count every single mole on his body.

“Here, towel.” You hand him a towel as he steps out and force yourself to look away, so your dreams don’t turn even more detailed.

“C – Could you give me some c – clean underwear, p – please?” He asks, trembling, as his teeth jitter with the towel wrapped around him.

“Oh, yep. Be right back.” With that, you quickly rummage through the drawers in his bedroom until you find clean underwear and a shirt for him. Without stepping into the bathroom, you hold both items through the open door so that Joel can get dressed in peace.

“Holler if you need anythin’.” You sit on the chair in his bedroom, watching the door and listening closely to make sure he’s alright. He gets dressed and brushes his teeth, staring at himself in the mirror for a moment. 

It doesn't take too long until he crawls into his bed, his hair still wet from the shower. He pulls the blanket over himself with a little groan and quickly falls asleep. You stay to ensure that he doesn't throw up in his sleep and choke on his own vomit.

You sit in the chair in his room for four hours, watching the time pass by as you look out the window. Early in the afternoon, you hear him wake up with a deep breath. The bed makes a noise when he turns onto his side.

“Space Boy?” He asks in a deep, tired voice.

You turn around and look at him. He’s sat up in bed and is looking at you with an exhausted expression. He yawns into his hand.

“How are you feeling?” 

“I’m ok. Can’t complain.”

“No headache?”

“Nah, just tired. Thanks for bringing me back home.” He scratches the back of his head and looks down at the covers. He looks so shy. It’s kind of endearing.

Before you start smiling to yourself like an idiot, you decide to bring up something you've had four hours to think about.

“Joel, if I had known you would drink so much to forget what I said, I would have kept it to myself. I knew I’d be the one ruining our friendship, but I always thought it would’ve been because of something else.” You say in a dead serious voice, avoiding his gaze. You gently rest your forehead against your clasped hands, leaning forward while your elbows rest lightly on your legs.

The bed creaks as he gets up, makes his way over to you, kneels on the floor before you, and rests a hand on your shoulder. You look him in the eyes hesitantly, then straighten your back and drop your hands into your lap.

”Space Boy, you didn’t ruin anything… I’m not quite sure how I feel about this situation yet. Tommy wasn’t a big help last night. He mostly just laughed at everything I said, honestly, but he did give me some advice between his laughter. I love spending time with you, and think of you as a great friend.”

You smile, feeling a little hurt but accepting that you might just go back to how things were before – to being great friends again. Even though it might be awkward at first. The heartache doesn't last long, though, since he opens his mouth to speak again.

“I would be willing to… test the waters. See if there is something between us.”

There’s a pause that weighs heavily on the air. Your heart could jump out of your chest at any moment.

“Of course, only if you’d like to. We could just kiss to see how we feel about each other? If there’s something there, great. If not, we can just go back to how things were.” Though his voice seems calm and low, it harbors a hint of insecurity.

You look down at your folded hands in your lap, then back up into his eyes.

“… I guess there is no harm in trying.” With the slightest nod, you continue, “And nobody needs to know about it.”

“Yep. Nobody needs to know. This will stay between us. I’m not even telling Tommy, if he asks.” He crosses his heart and lets go of your shoulder.

“Good.”

He turns his head away for a moment. Your eyes stare at his messy hair and how it wraps around his ear. After what feels like five minutes, though it's only been a few seconds, you break the silence once more, “So… do we try it now?”

“Uh – yeah, I mean, if you’d like. We can sit on the bed, though. My knee’s starting to hurt.” He gets up from the floor and helps you out of your chair. His hand lingers on yours for a moment before he walks to his bed and sits down.

You follow him but don't sit too close to him at first, instead resting your hand on the mattress between you.

“Are you ready?” You ask, clearing your throat afterward.

“I am.” He nods while his hand touches the one you placed between your two bodies.

With the other hand, you reach for his face, your fingertips brushing over the gray hairs on his cheek. You slowly lean in, staring at his lips, then close your eyes and just go for it. His lips, though a little dry, are soft and warm against yours.

It's as if you've forgotten everything; your mind goes blank, your heart pounds, and the butterflies in your stomach have a rave party of some sort. Joel’s hand squeezes around yours as he exhales through his nostrils. And you swear you can hear him humming as you share your first kiss together.

When it becomes too much to bear, you pull away and open your eyes to look at him. His brown eyes seem darker than usual, his pupils blown out as they meet your gaze.

“And…?” He stares at you, trying to pick up on any expression you’re willing to share after that experience.

You press your head into his shoulder, groaning, before whispering, “It’s bad. I really liked it.”

His hand now rests on your lower back as you take a moment to collect your thoughts. The room is silent. 

Until Joel speaks, “I… liked it too.”

“You did?” You straighten your back and look at him with wide eyes. Good God, the two of you must look pathetic. Two 57-year-old men nervous about sharing a kiss.

“Yeah. I’d like to try again, though. Just to make sure it wasn’t a one-time thing, you know.” 

“Oh, totally.” You nod in agreement.

And before you know it, you're passionately making out on his bed. The kisses start out playful, but quickly turn heated when his hands try to pull you closer, while your hands grip the cloth of his shirt.

It’s so overwhelming. You feel a heat collect in your chest; the sensation is almost as if it is being ripped apart. His hand slides up your thigh and pulls your leg to rest on his naked lap, squeezing your muscle.

This tender moment might shatter in an instant, yet it feels like the most incredible thing. His tongue licks your lips, asking to be let in. Without giving it a second thought, you let him in. His mouth tastes slightly bitter. But then, his hand grazes your crotch, making your heart jump to your throat. You open your eyes.

“Too much – it’s too much, Joel.” You groan into his mouth and try to pull away, feeling your head spin and your pants growing tighter. Jesus! Somehow, you were inches away from coming inside your pants from nothing but a light touch.

“Sorry…” He pulls away, breathing heavily, and moves his hand from your thigh to your face, rubbing his thumb over your lips. “Do you wanna stop?” 

You close your eyes and shake your head, enjoying the warmth of his palm on your cheek. “No, I don’t… Just need a little breather.”

“Alright.” He kisses your temple and lets his hand rub over your lower back, while his other hand returns to squeeze your thigh. After catching your breath, you open your eyes again and look down at his lap, where your leg is resting. Something catches your eye.

He's so hard, his black underwear slightly wet where the tip of his cock rests. You catch yourself staring, then quickly look away. Before you know it, Joel looks down at himself, feeling a little embarrassed by how his body is reacting.

“I should probably put on some pants.” He tries to move your leg off his lap, but you keep him seated.

“It’s fine to me… I’m the same.” 

You reach for his hand that’s still on your thigh and press his palm onto your crotch. The pressure of it against your hardened cock makes it twitch against the fabric.

“Jesus… You are.” 

“Would it be ok, if we keep making out for now?” You whisper a heated breath since he keeps his hand on your crotch even after you let go of it. He even adds a little more pressure to it, making the touch feel much sweeter.

“Of course.” He leans in, almost kissing you. His forehead rests against yours as he stares at your lips.

“The moment you get uncomfortable, though –” You whisper.

“I’ll let you know. You do the same.”

“I will.”

“Good.” He smiles.

“Good.” 

With this, his lips connect to yours once more. Between light touches and deep kisses, you end up lying on the bed. His arm cradles your neck, keeping your head in place as he plants sloppy kisses on your neck, your chin, and your jawline. You hold onto his side, your hands twitching to touch him or to touch yourself. So, you simply pull his body closer to yours.

While you both lie on your sides, he rolls his hips ever so slightly. However, the stretchy cloth of his underwear isn’t tight enough to provide any friction against his cock. This makes him whine under his breath. You can feel how desperate he is. His heavy breaths edge toward frustrated grunts, and his skin aches to be touched. It feels as if he's only getting droplets of water after going days without any. He's craving more, just as much as you are, or maybe even more. With a little hesitation, your hand travels down to squeeze his hip.

“Hah… can I touch you?” The question being a mere whisper between pants.

“Yes. Please do.” He hums, almost sounding excited about hearing this question coming from you.

“You – uhm – can touch me, too. If you’d like.”

“Are you sure?” 

You nod and trail your hand over his length, above the soft fabric covering it. Your touch is a source of relief for him, and he sighs as he tries to undo your pants with his free hand. He somehow succeeds in doing so with one hand while holding the back of your head with the other, pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

Your tongues dance together as you keep going. To try to help him, you pull your pants down, shimmying in them so they bunch up at your ankle. As you do, his hand pulls your underwear down with them. Breaking away from the kiss, he looks down at your cock, his fingers carefully wrapping around it. He runs his thumb over the veins, as if trying to figure out what to do next.

“Wait… let me get you out of yours, too.” You gasp at the foreign touch. 

“Ok.” He nods and lets go, allowing you to take off his underwear. He pulls you up and helps you rest your head against the pillows. His arm is once again slotted under your neck and your face lies on his shoulder as you watch his fingers wrap around your dick once more.

Reaching out, you try to touch him the same way you do when touching yourself, his thick cock throbbing in your fist. It's strange. Something like this should feel weird, yet it doesn't. Even though your heart pounds in your chest like crazy, and you feel bashful, it's still arousing.

His hand starts with slow strokes. The way his breath sounds next to your ear and the way his dick jumps each time you try to hold back a soft moan clearly indicate that he's enjoying this. You mirror his movements as you stroke him, causing everything to escalate. His hips start thrusting into your hand. The feeling makes you shiver, and you start doing the same, softly thrusting upward into his hand. You closely watch all of this unfold, trying to burn it into your memory in case Joel changes his mind about you after all.

Soft hums that would have been moans if your lips weren't pressed together, along with heavy breaths, color the silence of the room. He pulls air through his teeth when you tighten your hand around his cock. Your other hand clings to his thigh, keeping you grounded. The pre-cum leaking from his tip lubricates your hand, enabling it to slip over his cock more easily.

You’re so incredibly close yourself, your body glistening with the sweat accumulating on your skin. It’s hard to focus on stroking him when you’re on the verge of climax, your hand stopping and going at a random rhythm.

“You’re so close already, huh? Come on, Space Boy. Don’t stop moving your hand, or I’ll do the same.” He whispers against your ear, sending an overwhelming shock through your body that almost topples you over the edge. Had he not removed the hand he had around your cock, you surely would have come.

You nod and, with what limited focus you have left, resume stroking his dick in the same manner as before. Joel spits into his hand and wraps it around your weeping dick. The added moisture allows his fist to glide smoothly; the slick noises coming from the two of you are unbearably hot.

Your pants and underwear, which are still hanging on your ankle, bother you, so you kick them off. The cloth lands on the floor next to the bed with a soft thud.

With Joel's arm still slotted under your head, your face is turned to him so he can kiss your forehead. His eyes are closed as his breathing hitches. “So close – just a little faster…”

With a gulp, you accelerate your hand, his movements mirroring yours, causing your head to spin. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you rest your sweaty forehead against his. With heavy pants coming from both of you, you share the same hot, sticky, wet air.

Just as you’re about to come and your body shakes, Joel comes undone by your hand. His body tenses as he thrusts into your fist. The moans are quiet and swallowed. His ejaculate paints his shirt and drips down over your hand as you help him ride out his high. By now, his hand has stopped stroking you; it's just resting tightly wrapped around your dick's base.

In the laziest and most spent fashion, he moves his hand up over the length of your dick one more time, ultimately sending you over the edge. “J – Jesus, Joel… fuck – mh.” You moan slightly louder as his hand holds your hot, twitching cock. The semen runs down your length and coats his fingers, which remain steady at the base. His lips press against yours as you try to come down from your high.

It’s quiet once you clean up after yourselves. You’re not sure what the right thing to say in this situation is. Do you ask if you're a thing now, or is that taboo? If he feels like he wants to keep going like this in the future? If he wants to go back to how things were a day ago? A lump of anxiety forms in your throat.

“Joel –“ “Space Boy –“ You both start at the same time, as if someone signaled the beginning of a race.

“Oh, sorry. You go first.” Feeling a bit nervous about the questions you have in mind, you hesitate.

“No, no. You first.” 

Your heart pounds in your chest as you shake your head no.

With a sigh and some hesitation, Joel starts once again. “What do we do now?” 

That evening, when the two of you walk to the dining hall, there's an awkward, fragile tension between you. You’re nervous. It's as if anyone could read your minds and find out that you’ve decided to secretly start dating. To avoid raising any suspicion, you don't sit directly next to each other at the usual table, though this probably has the opposite effect in the end. Time seems to be at a standstill as you wait for the rest of the group to show up.

Tommy joins you with little Benjamin sleeping in his arms. A shit-eating grin plastered on his face, he notes, “Hey. You two seem to be in a good mood.”

“Not more than usual.” Joel mumbles, shoveling a forkful of beans into his mouth while rapidly bouncing his leg up and down.

“Yep, just having a good day.” You add on, taking a big sip from your glass. Your hand, which is resting on your leg, squeezes it tightly; your fingernails dig painfully into the denim of your jeans. You would instinctively clutch at the metal hanging off your necklace, but Tommy has seen you do this enough times in the past when you've gotten into a stressful situation. It would be a telltale sign of what happened between you and his brother.

“… Sure. Are you feeling any better, Joel?” His cockiness is palpable as he rocks the baby up and down softly, a smirk spreading across his face.

“Mhm. Can’t complain.” 

“So nothing happened between the both of you, huh?”

“Nope.” ”No.” Joel and you answer quickly in unison. You lower your head, finding the individual items of food on your plate suddenly extremely compelling. Tommy raises an eyebrow and smiles, pleased at how easily it will be to annoy his friend and brother simultaneously.

After what feels like an eternity of awkward silence, Ellie and the rest show up to eat as well. Thankfully, Tommy drops the topic after the first few comments, but you know he would’ve loved to go on about it. No one sits between you, ultimately forcing you to sit side by side. As time goes on, you swear your heart could explode due to Joel accidentally brushing his hand or leg against yours. But it has to be by accident. He wouldn't do this on purpose to tease you, right? Right?

As time passes, you find yourself becoming more comfortable around Joel in public once again. The original paranoia subsides after the first few days.

You are currently visiting him at home, as he still has work to do on the kitchen table before you can spend time together in the privacy of your own home. Ellie joins you and watches him work from a distance while leaning against the back of the couch. She seems to have something on her mind, as if she has something important to tell you but still needs a push to finally spill it.

You nudge her arm, curious about it. “Ellie?” 

“Yeah?”

“Is everything ok? You seem like you’ve got something on your mind.”

She looks around before sighing. “I’m just still upset that we didn’t manage to find the Fireflies. It’s almost been two years, since…”

You never addressed the topic with her, not even while you were working together. Scared that it might make her stop talking to you, you avoided the subject. But the moment feels right to take that leap of faith.

“Is your family with them?” 

“No, I’m an orphan… but I…” She pauses for a second, looking over at Joel, who is focused on his work. It should be fine, right? She can tell you why she wanted to get to them so desperately. You’re a trustworthy person.

And just like that, you’re transported 20 years back in time. She rolls up her sleeve and turns her forearm to show you a bite, which is noticeably healed.

“I’m immune. The Fireflies were still looking for a cure… That’s why I needed to find them.”

“That… May I?” You ask. You wait for her to nod. You hold her arm in your own hands and examine it. It’s unbelievable. People can’t be immune. You trace the healed bite marks on her forearm. The memory of Bridget’s wound pops up in your head. The skin feels bumpy from the tendrils that failed to spread under her skin. It makes your skin crawl. Then there is the smell of smoke powder, blood… You’re back in the barn.

Ellie frowns at your silence. “Space Guy?” 

Her voice sounds like it’s traveling from a distant place through a long tunnel to reach you. A voice that attempts to bring you back to the present.

“Huh? What?” You can’t focus on anything as you look through her and let go of her arm. There’s a ringing in your ear as a familiar voice calls out to you.

“Are you ok?” Ellie’s concern is written all over her face, but to you, she's a blur. You finally remember Bridget’s eyes. Her hazel eyes, filled with tears, stare back at you before rolling to the back of her head. A deep red, thick liquid runs down her forehead.

“Space Boy?” Joel sets down his tools, takes off his glasses, and walks up to you once he finally realizes what just happened. He didn’t think Ellie would show you her bite so casually. He was cool with you knowing about it but thought she might tell you in some other way. At a different time.

With each heartbeat, your chest feels more constricted, and the world seems to spin madly from the overwhelming influx of air filling your lungs. You’re hyperventilating. It hurts.

Murderer.

This is really happening. The times you've had these attacks were usually in your own four walls, away from anyone to witness them.

“I need some fresh air.” Under your breath, you hastily open the door and step outside. You push your hands against the house's wall, letting your head hang as you try to calm down. An agonizing heat spreads through your lungs.

You’re a murderer.

They follow you outside. Joel rubs your back as he tries to calm you down. He starts talking you through it, trying to keep you focused on his voice. “Space Boy, breathe in through your nose – not too fast. Yeah, like that. Now, breathe out for longer, until five. One, two, three, four… and five. Good.” 

You follow his instructions, trying to push down the memories of that day: her cries lingering in your mind as the word “murderer” still echoes through your skull. Hot tears stream down your face, burning your skin. You press your fingers against the wall of the house, trying to describe the feeling to yourself to block out everything else going on inside your brain.

“Shit – I’m so sorry, I didn’t know he’d react this way!” Ellie stands by the door, not knowing how to help.

“It’s ok, kiddo. Could you go inside, check if we have a paper bag?”

She nods and runs inside. Your lungs ache with an intense burning sensation, but your breathing remains panicked.

“I’m so sorry…” you say amid sobbed breaths now.

“Sh, it’s ok. Come here.” Joel pulls you in for a warm hug while stroking the back of your head. You let your hands hang at your sides. Ellie comes back out of the house with a paper bag and offers it to you when Joel lets go of you so you can breathe into it. It helps. Once you finally catch your breath and your mind is able to focus on the present, you notice Rosa standing at the bottom of the porch stairs.

“Dad? Is everything alright?” She walks up the steps and softly touches your arm. 

Although you suddenly feel exhausted, you mostly feel fine. You wipe the tears from your face and sniffle. Having other people witness you like this is humiliating. Especially Rosa.

“I’m… I’m ok. I’m ok, Star.” You nod at her, your hands shaking as your heart beats irregularly in your chest. She’s not too convinced.

Ellie is silent, but you can tell she feels guilty because of this. 

“It was nothing, I just couldn’t breathe… must’ve been the smell of the wood.” You lie.

Rosa frowns and pulls you into a deep hug. 

“Come, Ellie. Let’s give them some space.” Joel gently pushes her inside the house.

“But I –” 

“It’s fine. He’ll come talk to you after.”

Taking your time to calm down, you sit on the chair that's on the porch. Rosa leans against the porch railing and studies you.

“Dad… I never asked before, but… do you still feel guilty about what you did?”

“Star. There is not a day ever since that I haven’t… The smallest memory of that day makes me lose my appetite.”

Rosa listens attentively. You're finally talking to her about it. It’s a moment she’s been waiting for all this time. You gulp, trying to stay calm.

“But I don’t regret the things I’ve done. I kept my promise to her, of keeping you both safe.”

The conversation with her makes you feel like you're finally a family again.

“I know, Dad. Thank you for always looking out for us. And for finally opening up to me.” She leans down to hug you.

She leaves soon after but makes sure you’ll be fine first. You assure her that everything is all right and that you're with Joel and Ellie if anything happens. Her smile warms your aching heart.

“Space Boy. How are you feeling?” Joel stands up from the couch with a little grunt. Ellie leaps to her feet with an even greater speed than his.

“I’m so sorry –” She starts, wanting to apologize for showing you her arm without a warning. But she couldn’t have known about the effect that it would have on you.

“Ellie, it’s fine. I’m sorry I reacted that way.”

“But I –”

“It’s not your fault.” You smile and rest your hand on her shoulder. “You’re an amazing person, Ellie. A wonder of a person, actually. Hell. You’re immune. And I’m sure the Fireflies will appear sooner or later, if they’re still around.”

She nods slowly, lost in thought, looking at the floor.

“Unless… you don’t want to go anymore. Then that’s fine. You’re more than welcome here, and I think I can say with confidence that there’s some people who would love to see you stay. Me included.” 

Joel listens attentively, surprised at how well you two get along, even after working together for a year. Sure, Ellie has a lot of energy and can be wild at times, but she’s a kid and deserves to act like one, after all.

That night, when you walk over to your house with Joel, you silently look up at the stars and point into the sky, at a bright speck of light inside the sea of never-ending darkness. 

“It’s Bridget’s star.”

Before leaving your house that night, after you've spent some time chatting and cuddling on the couch, he brings up the topic of you going to a therapist because of the panic attack you had earlier.

“I don’t know, Joel. Therapy?” You frown as you watch him put on his jacket.

“Yeah. I mean… It could help you. You didn’t see the state you were in earlier.”

“I know. But I sure as hell felt it.”

“Exactly, and I can only imagine how you must’ve felt.” He rubs your arm after squeezing you tight. 

You nod and frown. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” He kisses your temple and smiles softly.

You rest your head on his shoulder and hold onto his jacket. After a minute of silence, you ask, “Gail was a psychotherapist, wasn’t she?”

“Think she was, yeah.” 

“Ok.”

Joel leaves for the night after saying his goodbyes, and you go to bed thinking about what he proposed. It's embarrassing to think you need to seek help from someone, but the more you resist the idea, the clearer it becomes that you do need the support. As much as it hurts your pride, you accept that it’s necessary.

Since the people most dear to you were legitimately concerned about your mental well-being, you decide to actually go through with it. Once you start the sessions, you realize it isn't as shameful as you’d originally thought. Gail is amazing at teaching you ways to ground yourself during a panic attack. Eugene sometimes shows up after your sessions, but he doesn't seem to care much about them.

The next time you have a panic attack, you remember what she advised you to do.

It starts the moment you catch a glimpse of the same type of flower that grew in that field back then, on the side of the street in Jackson. Your lungs seem to beg for air as your heart jumps, and you stop to take a deep, long breath.

What can you see?

You try the breathing exercise she showed you as you count the red objects around you. Your heart is palpitating in your chest, but you focus on your surroundings: the birds flying overhead and the number of houses to your left.

Orange. White. Blue. Red. White. White. Green. 

You list the colors.

What can you feel around you? 

A soft breeze rushes past, tugging gently at your clothes. You run your hands over the inner lining of your pocket, feeling the cloth slide under your fingertips.

What can you hear? 

The birds that flew overhead have landed on a house and are singing beautifully. In the distance, someone is breaking what sounds like cured clay. Horses passing by on patrol exhale sharply, their hooves clopping on the ground.

And what can you smell?

You take a deep breath and feel your panic slowly dissipate. You can tell it’s almost midday; the smell of freshly cooked food dances in the air. It smells like they’re making some sort of chili. Gail's advice on how to overcome panic attacks is extremely helpful. And she helps you work through what happened with Bridget. Things slowly get better.

One day, Tommy and Maria assigned Ellie a different duty to help out somewhere other than your repair shop. You know it’s her birthday; Joel told you about it and asked for help collecting Lego pieces to trade with Seth so that he would make a birthday cake. But when your workday is over, and you visit them at home, Ellie is sound asleep on the couch with a bandage on her arm. She’d burned her arm – on purpose – to hide the bite scars on it while helping out Tommy. 

“She said she wanted to be able to wear T-shirts again without worrying about anyone finding out that she's immune…” He quietly remarks, hoping she'll stay asleep, as she's on some strong pain medication.

She wakes up sometime later, and you hand her another sketchbook you'd made, this time with a design burned into the leather wrapped around it. Her old one was almost full, and she had been asking Joel to get her a new one if he found a good one on patrol. The wound looks horrifying when she shows it to you.

It heals pretty well over time, but she needs to get it checked periodically. It hurts your heart to see her arm all bandaged up, especially since she keeps you updated on its current appearance. You forbid her from working for several weeks because the movements and strain she’d have to endure at work would cause her too much pain. This doesn't stop her from showing up to watch you work and chat, though.

On a day off for Joel and you, Ellie needs to go to the medical center for a checkup, so the two of you wait at home for her to return. Even though he won't verbally admit it, he loves having you around. You're a comforting presence to him, and he has the same effect on you. Joel is working on some woodcarving to distract himself from thinking too much about Ellie’s wound. You watch him standing beside the desk.

“Sarah wanted to ask if you’d like to join us tomorrow evening. Rosa and Ellie will be there too.” 

“Oh? What are you guys planning?” 

“I found this board game the other day that looked fun. I’m just carving a piece that’s missing.” He pulls out an old looking box with the words “The Settlers of Catan” written on it. 

“Hey, I know that game!” At this point, you understand what piece is missing from the box and finally recognize what he's carving. “You’re missing the robber, huh?” 

“And here I was under the impression that I was the nerd.” He grins. 

You look at him through your eyebrows and jokingly stick out your tongue for a moment. Following his hands with your eyes, you watch as he slowly takes off his glasses and sets his tools down on the table before standing up. You straighten your back as his piercing gaze meets yours.

“Do you think we still have some time…?” He asks, his voice soft in a way you’ve never heard before.

“Hm? Some time for what?” You whisper. His hand gently grabs your chin, tilting your head slightly. He leans in close enough that your lips almost touch. His deep brown eyes explore your face. You stare into them, watching them dart around.

“To enjoy ourselves?” His voice is barely comprehensible due to the extreme quietness of his talking.

“Yeah – Yeah, I think we do.” A shiver runs through your body at the shift in his attitude. He leans in the last few inches and connects his lips to yours. You hum against his lips, the feel of them against yours causing your heart to skip a beat. You rest your hands on his hips, not putting any pressure on them nor holding on tightly.

He lets go of your chin and holds onto the cloth of your shirt, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. You moan softly into the kiss. You're a little surprised by how quickly he's moving things along, but you're also pleased by the warmth running through your body.

You lean into him, softly pushing your body against his. His heart beats as quickly as yours, and his cheeks turn a slightly darker shade.

Joel is startled by the sudden, foreign noise of the downstairs door being slammed open. You do not hear this, lost in the kiss. He pushes you away softly but not softly enough, causing you to stumble backward after his hands let go of your shirt. Confused by the sudden change, you watch as he quickly picks up some woodworking tools from his workstation. With a bewildered look on your face, you blink rapidly as you stand there in silence.

Ellie bursts through the door, bringing a chaotic energy in along with her. “Joel! I can finally stop wearing these stupid – Oh, hi Space Guy!” 

“Hey, kiddo, that’s great.” Joel smiles as he turns around and sets down the tools he had just picked up to seem occupied. His face is still slightly flushed. He’s trying so hard to keep it together; the panic in his eyes makes you frown for a brief moment.

“Hello, Ellie.” You clear your throat and cross your arms.

“I can finally wear normal T-shirts!” She excitedly holds out her arm to show Joel her forearm first, then holds it out for you to see next. The skin is still raw and sensitive, but it has healed pretty well so far.

“Seems like you’ll be able to join me at work again, soon.” There's a smile on your face, but it doesn't quite reach your eyes. You can't force them to join the smile. Even if you wanted to, you can't.

“Fuck yeah.” She grins before adding on, “I still get the day off, though, right?”

You nod. “Yeah, of course. Are you meeting up with someone?”

“Yup. Told Dina and Jesse we could hang out together today! Joel, I’m guessing you two are hanging out at Space Guy’s place again?” 

“Yeah –” Joel begins, but you interrupt him. 

“No. Not tonight.” 

He turns his head to look at you, befuddled by your statement. 

“Alright! See you later then, Joel! And see you tomorrow, Space Guy!” With that, Ellie sprints down the hall to the stairs.

The front door closes with a loud bang as she dashes out of the house, eager to spend time with her friends. Joel seems less tense the moment he hears the door fall into the slot. You frown and start walking toward the door of his workroom, preparing to leave. But he stops you, holding onto the sleeve of your T-shirt. With a frown and a twisting feeling in your stomach, you face him.

“Joel. Why did you push me away like that before?” You start. 

“You wanted me to just keep kissin’ you? To have Ellie find us like that and tell everyone?”

“No… I don't know, maybe?” You shrug, sighing. “Would it have been that bad if she found out?” With your arms crossed, you look at your foot and use it to kick a piece of wood slightly to the side. You continue,“Also, you pushed me pretty dang hard before. I almost fell. Could’ve hurt myself. If you even care.”

“I – I panicked, ok? Shit, Space Boy. What if folk in Jackson find out about us foolin’ around?”

“What if people find out about us? Is that a problem for you?”

“Well – No, of course not, but you know how people are.” 

“So, what exactly are we talking about here? Are we going to keep all of this a secret until the day we die and be remembered as the guys who were very close friends? Keep things behind closed doors?” 

“That ain’t what I meant, and you know that. Don’t go twisting my words like that.”

“It’s exactly what you meant! You’re too much of a coward to give up your tough-guy persona, aren’t you? You’d just be ashamed to be called a – a sissy – a fag by others, wouldn’t you?”

A glimmer of anger appears on his face as he squints his eyes at you. You hit a nerve with that one. Maybe he does feel ashamed about it.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you fuckin’ dare assume such a thing about me.” With that, he leaves you standing there, fuming and frustrated, and storms off to another room in his house.

You don't want to wait around. You don't want to linger. So you leave his home. There's no place for you there at the moment. No need for you to be there, since you’re not welcome precisely at this moment. So, without a destination, you keep walking the streets of Jackson. In times like these, the city feels too small. You’d love to go for a walk in the wilderness, but it would be too dangerous to go alone. Too risky. There always needs to be a second person with you. There's no way in hell you're going to ask someone to follow along with you, though.

The sun shines through the clouds at times, intensifying the feeling of suffocation. You walk as far away from his home as possible, ignoring who you see on the streets. Your body is filled to the brim with emotions that need to be walked off. The sight of the stables makes you stop. Two people are working there at the moment: Tommy and Rosa. They're not exactly who you'd like to see right now, but they might be just who you need.

“Space Bud?” Tommy is standing by the horse stables while Rosa takes care of some sheep.

“Dad? You’re crying.” Her worried voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“I am?” You reach for your face. Lo and behold, your fingertips feel the wet tears streaming down your cheeks. You wipe them away with your hands and blink a few times to stop crying, but it doesn't work. The tears keep coming, leaving you sniffling. “Sorry. I didn’t realize. I was lost in thought…”

“Something happen? Is everything alright?” Tommy hangs up the lead he was rolling up and steps toward you, following your daughter, whose hand caresses your upper back.

“No, yeah – everything’s alright. I don’t know why I’m cryin’ at all.”

“Are you sure? You look like you’ve just been through hell.”

“I’m sure. I just – Joel and I had a falling out.” You whisper, hoping you said it quietly enough that they didn't hear. But they did.

Tommy loudly sighs with his arms akimbo as he shifts his weight onto one leg. “What did Joel do?”

“Nothin’. I guess we've just been around each other too much.” You finally stop crying. 

Rosa frowns, and for a split second, her face reminds you of Bridget. You move a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Tommy nods, not really fully believing you, but deciding not to pry any further.

“I just need an hour alone, I think. To calm down. I’ll head over to Joel’s later again, to apologize…” You smile sadly as Rosa lets go of your arm.

“You sure you’ll be fine alone?”

“Yeah, are you sure you don’t want me to come hang out with you for a bit, Dad?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine. Thank you, though.” You smile weakly. Tommy and Rosa watch you leave, keeping an eye on you as you head home.

You close the front door behind you, lean your back against it, and slide down the smooth wood until you're sitting on the floor, hugging your knees. A feeling of loneliness washes over you; the initial anger has completely vanished. The memory of Bridget has faded it. You reach for the ring hanging around your neck.

This is a stupid fucking argument. Either of you could die within the next hour or days and leave the other feeling like shit. After collecting your thoughts and calming down, you stand up from the floor. Determined to make things up to Joel, you walk to his house, lift your fist to knock on the door, but hesitate for a moment. He might still be angry about what you said. He might be fuming, but you need to apologize to him. You don't want to lose him.

Just as you are about to knock, the front door swings open. Joel stands there, just as surprised to see you as you are to see him. You open your mouth, wanting to say something, but you can't think of what to say. So, you stare at him for a moment until he breaks the silence.

“… You wanna come inside and talk?”

With a nod, you step into his home and quietly follow him into his bedroom. He locks the door behind him once you’re inside. You stand awkwardly for a moment, unsure of how to start – or how to act – or where to keep your hands. Before facing you, he runs his hand over his face, with his other hand resting on his hip.

The moment his eyes meet yours, they soften with a hint of regret. His arms reach out to pull you into a hug.

“I’m sorry I said all those mean things to you…” Tears stream down your face again as you press your face into his shoulder and wrap your arms tighter around him.

“Me too, I’m sorry for how I reacted. I – I shouldn’t be ashamed about liking you… I shouldn’t even care ‘bout what other people think. Will you forgive me?”

With a gentle laugh and a few sniffs, you let go to look him in the face. “I already have. I should be the one asking for forgiveness for what I said, though.”

“Of course, I forgive you.” He wipes a tear from the corner of your eye. A smile curves his lips as he places a kiss on your cheek.

Your relationship with Joel remains mostly unnoticed by your peers; your dates are still disguised as normal “hanging out”. There's just a little more than chatting or watching movies happening behind closed doors. Neither of you feel ready to take it to the next level, so you stick to cuddling and spending time together. This is much more important and healing than anything anyone else could have possibly done. There are the occasional make-out sessions, of course. But you keep things simple when it comes to the sexual stuff, only going as far as hands-on stuff and blowjobs.

Since you live alone – Rosa has been living with Sarah for years now – he mostly comes over to your place. You don't feel comfortable doing anything at his house since Ellie lives there too and could come home unannounced. You were just lucky the first few times you did anything together.

Six months later, the cat gets out of the bag late one night when Tommy needs to talk to you. Ellie had left for the day, and Joel had just returned from outside the walls after not seeing you for almost a week.

Initially, you planned to stay behind to finish working on some boots, but Joel’s presence made it difficult to focus with him watching over your shoulder and subtly resting his hand on your hip applying light pressure. You had planned for that night to be the night you would finally take the next step. Joel had gotten his hands on some cooking oil that you could use as lube. He didn't want to trade for actual lube; people would've spread rumors. Not that he minded people knowing you two were dating anymore, no. He was more concerned about people spreading rumors about what he could do in private.

“I can’t wait to see you all breathless, moaning my name like a little slut…” His mouth keeps whispering seductively into your ear as you try to focus on your work. But it’s no use. With all your resolve drained from your body, you take a deep breath and set your tools aside. You drag him to the back of the workshop, away from the entrance and behind some machinery, so that no one can see you through the windows. There, you share some quick, heated kisses and touches. His hand kneads your ass, pulling your body close to his, and your knees grow weak. You gasp when he pulls away from the kiss briefly. Your lips press soft kisses to his chin and neck before he grabs your chin and kisses you deeply.

What you hadn't accounted for when you came to this particular corner is that the bell can't be heard all the way in the back. So, when someone walks to the back of the shop looking for you, you almost scream bloody murder.

“Space Bud? Are you back here –” Tommy stops walking the moment he sees the two of you. His eyes widen in shock at finding his brother making out with his closest friend in the back of the cobbler’s shop. He stands there with his arms slumped down, looking like a parent who just walked in on their kid making out with someone in their bedroom for the first time.

Joel quickly pulls away from the kiss and lets go of you as you take a step back to look at Tommy. Your face is burning hot from the kiss and out of embarrassment.

“T – Tommy!” You attempt to act as if he didn't see. You plead with him in your mind. But oh, he did see. And his demeanor changes the moment your eyes meet his.

“Well, well. What do we have here.” A wide grin almost reaching from ear to ear spreads across his face as he steps up to stand between you and Joel, resting his hands on either of your shoulders.

“Tommy, I swear to God, don’t you fuckin’ dare say anythin’ stupid.” Joel threatens his brother, knowing that he’s about to rub this under his nose. Ever since the night he spent talking with him at the bar about your confession, getting drunk like a fucking skunk, and after seeing how you two behaved the next day, he hasn’t stopped poking fun at you. Always asking what you're doing later and if he can join you and Joel, or calling you two inseparable when someone asks about you. Tommy’s an utter idiot. In a loving way.

“You’re right. Sorry I interrupted your – ahem – hangout. I’ll leave now. You may continue… hanging out.” With a smirk, he slaps down on both Joel and your shoulder and makes his way out of the workshop. Joel follows him.

“Tommy! Don’t you talk about us to –” Just as Joel is about to leave the shop to follow after his brother, you grab his wrist and stop him in his tracks.

“It’s fine, Joel. This is easier than telling everyone that we’re dating ourselves.”

He looks at you, then through the glass in the door, and sees Tommy turn around and wink at him. Then he looks back at you. With a defeated sigh and a soft smile, he relaxes his shoulders and pulls you close once more. He whispers, “Yep. There’s no use in going after him, he’ll spread this about us whether we like it or not, anyway.”

“Right.” You agree, staring at his lips.

“Now, where were we?” 

“I was about to ask you if you’d like to head on over to my place…” You give him a peck on the lips and hold his hands in yours.

“Hm. Can’t we just stay here?” He tilts his head and holds his face close to yours, teasing you by not leaning in close enough to kiss you.

“Y… yes – I mean, no.” You're almost convinced to stay and continue doing things here, but you realize it's a horrible idea, especially since Tommy just barged in and there are so many dangerous machines and tools lying around.

“Alright, you’re the boss.” He finally closes the distance between you and kisses you one more time. Your hands let go of his as he wraps his arms around you.

Once you finally manage to make it back to your house, you lock the front door so that no one else disturbs you tonight. Joel, having grown impatient as you wrestled with untying your shoes, drags you onto the couch once they're finally off, making sure to grab the cooking oil he brought with him.

You lie on your back as he crawls over you. His hands unbuckle your pants while he kisses your neck, coaxing soft moans from you. When he’s done with yours, you undo his pants. He kneels up to remove your pants and underwear; your cock is semi-hard as you pull down his.

“We’re not gonna hear the end of it tomorrow…” He whispers before lying back down on top of you. He kisses your neck while his hand slides under your shirt to tease your nipple with his rough fingers.

“Hah… then let’s enjoy tonight while we can.” You bite your lower lip when you feel him leave a hickey on your neck. The thought of it staying makes your cock twitch and grow harder. He lifts your hips up and slides a throw pillow under them so you can lie more comfortably.

“I’ve been looking forward to this the whole week.” He mumbles, pressing his hip against yours as your cocks grind against each other, making him pant heavily.

“Me too – But – God – Joel, slow down, or I’m done for.” You moan at the feeling of his hot dick rubbing against yours, which is exhilarating.

He stops rocking his hips, takes a deep breath, and rests his forehead against your chest. “Sorry. So sorry.” He’s breathless. 

After a second, you squeeze his arm to signal that it’s ok to continue. “Please…”

He nods and pours cooking oil onto his fingers as you spread your legs for him. Just the way he’s been imagining for months, he hesitantly inserts one finger into your anus at first. He stretches your hole slowly, taking his time so you’re nice and worked through. It feels strange at first; you’re tense from the new sensation.

“Relax, Space Boy…” He whispers, before placing even more kisses on your neck. You bite your lower lip and do your best to relax your muscles as much as possible; his touches excite you. And once you finally do, his finger starts to feel really good inside you.

You gag on a moan that wants to slip out, holding onto Joel’s shoulders. Your leg, which is almost falling off the side of the couch, wraps around his hip for stability. The slow stretch when he inserts a second finger has you moaning loudly against his shoulder as you press your face into it.

“Fuck – Just hearing you like this is driving me insane.” He lets out a groan, rolling his hips in the air as his cock searches for something to grind against, twitching with excitement.

“Mh… we’re gonna make a mess –” You whine, just now realizing that you're lying on the couch. Your hand reaches for his erection, your fingers wrapping loosely around it as you stroke him.

“Don’t worry, we won’t.” He exhales, enjoying your touch before slipping a third finger inside you. He pushes them deep inside and curls them to see if he can get a reaction out of you. And what a reaction he gets! Your back arches, your eyes roll back, and the pressure against your prostate almost makes you come undone right then and there. Had he not grabbed the base of your cock and squeezed tightly, that is.

You pant and whine softly, rocking your hips into his fingers as you search for that high again. Your face burns hotter than a thousand suns. Joel stares at you, awestruck, as you fuck yourself using his hand. It's as if you've slipped into another world; your mind no longer works until he pulls his fingers out, leaving you feeling empty and wanting more.

“Whoa… That was – I can’t wait to see you do that on my cock, Space Boy.” He gulps, his Adam's apple rising and falling in the process. Space Boy has finally landed back on planet Earth when Joel’s soft caresses pull you back into reality. You’re breathing heavily, slightly dizzy, and your legs are shaking.

“What… what just happened?” You ask, having a lapse in memory from how mind-blowing it all felt.

Joel chuckles, then presses a soft kiss to your lips and stares into your eyes. His pupils are huge. He enjoyed every single second of watching you lose your mind, and he can't wait to see that again. “You were enjoying yourself a lot, it seemed. Using my fingers like some toy.” 

With the last seconds coming back to you, you blink. Suddenly, you feel nervous, fearing that you’ll come undone the moment he’s inside you.

“Joel, I think this’ll be the death of me…” You whisper, watching him pour oil onto his hand and spread it over his cock. The skin glistens in the soft light of the candle he lit when you arrived.

“Then let’s die together.”

He slides his legs under yours, his cock lying heavy atop yours. He tilts his hips back ever so slightly, aligning the head of his erection with your anus. He meets your gaze, making sure you’re still alright with going further. You nod and watch him slowly push inside you, his thumb at the base of his dick as he guides it inside you.

You didn't realize how big he was until now. He’s spreading you slowly and taking his time so as not to hurt you. But you can tell by his breathing how hard he’s trying not to rush. It’s overwhelming to look at him for so long. His hand is on your thigh. His hair is falling over his forehead. His eyes are staring down at the place where you’re connected. All of this arouses you to your core, so you close your eyes. You bite your bottom lip, holding back a drawn-out moan.

Your hands reach for his as he holds onto your thighs and pushes the last few inches inside you. The pressure against your sweet spot is even more intense than before. But you manage to keep yourself together, his hands squeezing you, ground you. With a sigh, he stops once you’re fully around him. You feel hot and tight around him, and it feels amazing, almost additive.

“You ok?” He asks, his thumbs caressing your skin, before doing anything more.

“Mhm… you feel so good, Joel –” The softest of moans leaves your mouth. 

“So do you… hah, so hot… I’m gonna start moving, then.”

You nod and open your eyes halfway to take a look at him. His eyes are pitch black, not just because the only light is a candle, but because he’s so turned on right now. He pulls his hands from your thighs and grabs your wrists. He rests your arms on his shoulders and leans down to kiss you. Then, he draws back his hips and thrusts into you with unexpected speed. The force of the thrust blows the air out of your lungs, along with a whimper.

You wrap your arms around him tightly and kiss him sloppily as his thrusts pick up speed and send your mind off on a space mission once more. No coherent words come out of you as his cock pushes against the spot inside you that turns your brain off. When he breaks the kiss to look at you, his hips buck from seeing such a lewd side of you. It makes him want to break you, to use you as his toy until you’re left crying and whining.

“Fuck. I can’t last much longer like this, babe.” He hisses between his teeth. His thrusts slow down to allow him to catch his breath for a brief moment. By now, beads of sweat have accumulated on his forehead. The knot in your stomach that was about to burst almost disappears, leaving you desperate.

“Please – Mmm – Please don’t slow down!” You beg him, feeling so achingly close to the most amazing orgasm you’ve ever experienced in your life. He groans as he buries his face in your shoulder. His slow thrusts turn into quick pounding, and his hand reaches for your hip to keep you in place. “I’m gonna come – !”

Just as you’re about to climax, he lets go of your hip, pulls your shirt over your cock, and continues to pound into you. His stuttering hips, hitched breath, and soft moans accompany your orgasm as he comes deep inside you. He slows down and watches a wet spot on the bottom of your shirt expand with each spurt of ejaculate that comes out of the head of your twitching cock. By this point, your shirt is completely soiled. With trembling, weak arms, you pull him into a soft hug and listen to his breathing slow down along with yours.

Once you’ve finally come down from your high, you break the silence with a breathy whisper. “Holy shit… Joel. That was amazing. I’ve never felt anything even close to this before…”

“Right back at you, Space Boy.” He quietly responds with a chuckle.

Joel spends almost the entire night at your place, only leaving at the crack of dawn to get back home before Ellie wakes up and realizes he'd stayed somewhere else.

It doesn't even take a single day before everyone knows that Joel has a secret lover. No. In fact, it doesn't even take 12 hours before Joel is swarmed by his family, who bombard him with questions about it. At least Tommy had the decency not to call you out by name. Not that it mattered anyway. You’re walking around with a limp seeing as you’re still sore from the night before.

“Did you know that Joel’s dating someone? I didn’t think he had time for that with all his work and hanging out with you, Ellie, and Sarah.” Rosa sits down at the table where you're waiting for the rest of the group to show up for lunch. She's somewhat curious about your thoughts on the situation. You hadn't thought about it before. About having to tell your daughter that you're dating a man. Anxiety builds up deep in your stomach. You're afraid of what she might say when she finds out it's you. So, you try to play it off in a joking way.

You laugh a little, nodding. “Of course I knew that, Star. It would be weird if I didn’t.”

She seems amused by your reaction. But then she sees the hickey on your neck that Joel was so kind as to leave behind last night. You can almost see the wheels turning in her head as she narrows her eyes and figures it out. Her mind probably starts with the thought of the two of you covering for each other when you go see the two mystery women. You had started to cheer up a lot more lately. She noticed. Although originally, she thought it was because of your old friend living here. Her brain ends up making the connection, though, so she whispers with wide open eyes, “Wait. It can’t be – Dad. Are you two, like, a thing?” 

You respond with a nervous smile and nod. This isn't the way you had in mind to break the news to her. She frowns, looks down at the table briefly, then meets your gaze again and smiles. “Good. You seem happy, that’s what is important to me.” 

”Star – I’m sorry you had to find out this way…” Your heart is beating like crazy. 

“It’s fine, Dad. I’m really happy for you.” 

A tear forms in your eye, which you quickly wipe away before looking over to see Ellie, Tommy, Maria, Joel, Sarah, along with her family, walk up to the table where you're sitting.

You hold your finger to your mouth, signaling her not to tell the others immediately, so they can figure it out by themselves. She nods, leans back in her seat, with her arms crossed, and excitedly prepares to see the reactions around the table. Joel sits down beside you, his leg instinctively touching yours.

“I still can’t believe you have a girlfriend we didn’t know about, Joel!” Ellie exclaims. “Is it Beth? Marie? Caroline?”

With each named person, he shakes his head no, laughing a little.

“Then who is it?! Come on! Tommy doesn’t wanna tell us more. He sucks.” She sticks her tongue out at him. You look over at Tommy who avoids looking at either of you since he’d probably just burst out laughing if he did. You stuff some of the food in front of you into your mouth and move your chair a little further from Joel’s. Your nervousness grows in your stomach as they continue to argue about the topic. The moment the adults at your table notice how you’re staring at your plate and see the visible mark on your neck, the dining hall falls silent.

“What happened? Why is everyone so quiet?” Ellie asks, confused as to what’s going on. 

This is what breaks Tommy, and he can’t hold back his laughter anymore. He laughs uncontrollably at his niece’s expression. Sarah sits there with her mouth agape, her eyes darting between Rosa, her own father, and you. Rosa is silently laughing at the chaos.

“Why are you laughing? I don’t understand what’s going on.” Ellie is visibly frustrated and looking for an answer as she scans the room. Finally, she notices the way you and Joel avoid looking anyone in the eyes. Your own gaze avoids hers lightning fast. Trying to gasp for air between laughs, Tommy wipes away a tear from the corner of his eye. Maria holds her hand in front of her mouth, trying not to join him in his fit of laughter.

“Honestly, Tommy? A secret lover? Thought you’d immediately tell everyone it was Space Boy.” Joel has to chuckle at how his brother can make a rumor more interesting by leaving out certain details.

“I mean, yeah. They all just assumed it was some secret woman. I couldn’t just drop that information like that.” He finally manages to calm down. 

And so, Joel and you become official. At least to the people who matter. The need to constantly have your old wedding ring on you dies down. It is now neatly placed on a ring holder that Joel made for you, per your request.

Ellie grows on you more than you'd like to admit as you begin to see her as your own child. On the day of her 18th birthday, you sit her down to talk to her about a topic that’s special to you.

“Ellie, Joel and I have been thinking about moving in together. And now that you’re finally 18, we wanted to ask if you’d be ok with me moving in to live with you two, to make some space for other refugees.”

She smiles happily, nodding. “I just don’t want you talking about work at home.” 

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t.” Joel pets Ellie’s head as he passes by the table.

“And no dates when I’m in the house.” She squints her eyes at Joel, who stops in the kitchen doorway and turns to look at her.

“If you’re allowed to hang out with Dina in your bedroom while we’re here, we can have dates.” He mumbles.

“Dina and I aren’t dating.” She groans, having heard this multiple times. Since you have a bet going with Joel about this, you smirk at him.

“Yeah, they aren’t dating. Yet.” You playfully remark.

“Ok, I’m already regretting this.” 

“Don’t worry, we’ll stop.” Joel chuckles.

“As if. Space guy. If you move in, I’m moving into the garage.”

“No.” Joel’s stern voice catches you off guard.

“Aw, come on, man! I can’t live with you forever! I need some privacy. And the garage is so much bigger than my room.”

“She’s not wrong, Joel.” You gesture for him to sit at the table with you, pulling back the chair beside you.

“…” He doesn’t seem too thrilled that you’re taking her side, crossing his arms as he sits down.

“Yes! Finally, we can have this conversation.” She smiles. “So, here’s my ultimate pros list of why I should be allowed to move into the garage. I can play my music as loud as I want without bothering either of you. You two have more privacy for whatever it is you two do when I’m not here. I can have people over whenever I want. We wouldn’t overcrowd the house –”

With each argument, Joel loosens his crossed arms. He’s attentively listening to her, thinking through every detail. After all, she does deserve to have a place of her own and grow more independent. He sighs and rolls his eyes once she gets to the end.

“So. What do you think?” She asks, her eyes darting between him and you.

“I’d be fine with it, as long as you don’t become a stranger. Joel?” You look at him before reaching for his hand, which is resting on the table.

“Fine.” He reluctantly agrees.

“Fuck yeah!” She jumps up from her chair and runs around it to hug Joel. Although he doesn't seem too happy with the decision, you can see a small smile form on his face.

“I’ll get things ready to move, then!” She quickly runs to her room, leaving the two of you alone in the kitchen.

“… You’ll have to make it up to me for this.” He mumbles. You chuckle, cup his face, and pull him in for a quick peck on the lips.

“Mhm.” 

His hand slides onto your side quickly pulling you closer to him. “I mean it.” 

Your heart flutters at the sound of his rough voice. You nod and swallow hard before he presses an intense kiss on your lips, making your head spin. With a grin on his face, Joel pulls away from the kiss and stands up, leaving you speechless with a heated face.

Within a week, Ellie moves into the garage, and you move in with Joel. It helps that it's not just the three of you moving your things between places, even though it is rather exhausting. When other residents of the community ask about your living arrangements, everyone defaults to the excuse of making space for newcomers. After all, the house you had been living in these past years was huge. No one but your family and close friends needs to know about the two of you anyway. There’s no rush.

Once everything has found its place in your new home, you place Bridget’s memorial ring holder next to Mercy’s collar on top of the fireplace. Exhausted from the tough week of leading the construction plans for the town and the move, Joel falls onto your shared bed. You lie beside him over the covers. His eyes travel up and down your face. His hand reaches for your hip, pulling you closer to him. With a smile on your face, you shimmy over to him.

“We can finally start and end the day together…” He sighs in relief.

“And spend the night together without worrying.”

“Yeah. This is great.” He leans in to peck your lips softly. The excitement of you living together has set in now that everything is done. You touch his cheek, your thumb rubbing over his beard. For the first time in a while, you’re happy without feeling any guilt about it. You kiss for a little while longer. The covers you’re lying on rustle as he rolls on top of you. This brings a shift in the air, intensifying the kiss and making it more needy. After what feels like the longest and shortest five minutes, you finally break away from the kiss. Heavy breaths fill the room.

“I still need to make it up to you, don’t I?” You smirk and run your hand down Joel’s clothed body, his eyes following it to his crotch. You squeeze it lightly, making him groan softly as a shiver rushes through his body. He pushes his face into the nook of your neck.

“You do… and I think I know how.” He mumbles, his nose pressed against the skin of your collar.

“Hm? How can I make it up to you?” You shudder at the sensation of his breath tickling your skin.

“We… well, I don’t know how to say this…” His hand slides under your shirt and his thumb softly rubs against the skin on your hip. You listen to him, trying to think of what he might want to say. “I actually thought, uhm, I could be – you could… top me once.” He sounds hesitant, his voice quieter than before.

“Oh? Are you sure?” You ask with a curious tone. His hand travels up underneath your shirt as he pauses to think. The calluses on his fingertips pleasantly stimulate your skin as they rub over it.

“Hm… yeah.” He nods and plants a kiss on your shoulder.

“Alright. Let’s get these clothes off then.” You’re excited. Before undressing, you lock the door to your room and close the blinds. Joel undresses by the bed while you remove your clothes as well.

“Where’d you put the lube?” He asks.

“It’s in the drawer on your side of the bed.” You climb into bed, lying down with your cock at half-mast, comfortably resting against your thigh.

“Got it.” He shoots you a glance, whistles, and adds, “Looking good there, handsome.” 

You reach for the bottle you previously received as a joke gift that actually comes in handy. “Come here.” 

Joel crawls over you into a 69 position, which is a bit unexpected. You look down, trying to see what he’s doing. “What –“

“You get me ready, and I'll get you ready.” He mumbles as he wraps his hand around your semi-hard penis.

“Oh. Ok.” You pour some lube onto your index finger, spreading it all over it before prodding at his anus. With your other hand, you reach for his fully erect dick and start jerking him off while stretching him out. You push your finger in slowly, stopping and pulling it out slightly whenever you feel resistance.

Meanwhile, Joel is hard at work. He slowly takes your growing boner into his mouth while softly tugging and massaging your ball sack with his other hand. You exhale quietly at the feeling, your body tingling with pleasure as you muffle a moan. His mouth is hot and wet around your cock. The sensation is so good that it's almost unbearable.

Soon enough, your index finger is fully inside him. You stop stroking his dick to pour more lube onto the fingers that are about to stretch him out further. You use your middle finger next, causing him to stop sucking you off as he presses his face into your hip. His body twitches as he moans involuntarily. A smirk spreads across your face. You curl your fingers inside him, searching for the right spot deep inside him. Your fingers are in him up to the knuckle once more. He’s shaking from how much he’s holding back. A long drip of pre-cum lands on your neck.

“Let me hear you, babe.” You mumble in awe at how much his cock twitches with each little movement of your fingers. His hole is finally stretched and relaxed enough for a third finger. You slowly slide it into him, with the other two tightly stacked together in a triangular shape.

His heavy breathing quickly turns into muffled moans. His hands grip your thighs, and his hips buck occasionally. But he doesn't want to give you the satisfaction of being the only one who feels this good, so he stuffs your spit-covered dick back into his mouth. Lewd sucking noises mixed with heavy panting fills the air.

You close your eyes when you feel his throat around the tip of your cock. Your hips thrust deeper into it involuntarily. With a gag, he pulls his mouth off and coughs softly before moaning as your fingers curl inside him.

“Can’t take it no more… need you.” He gasps as your cock twitches in the cold air in front of his panting mouth.

“Lie down on your stomach, then.” You pull your fingers out and, with a soft slap to his left ass cheek, he crawls off you and lies down on his belly with his arms crossed under the pillow he grabbed to rest his head on.

“Don’t hesitate to tell me if it gets too much, Joel.” 

He nods and waits patiently as you straddle the back of his thighs and take in the sight of his naked back right in front of you. Before doing anything else, you slather as much lube on your cock as you see fit. You don't want to harm him or make this an unpleasant experience.

Spreading his ass cheeks, you push inside him, kissing the damp, sweaty skin of his exposed neck. He’s quiet except for his heavy breathing. He feels so tight around the tip of your cock that you groan.

“Joel… you need to relax.” With your forehead pressed to his back and your hands rubbing the naked skin on his hips, you continue. He seems to be holding his breath as your cock stretches him further than your fingers had before.

“Mh – I’m tryin’, ok?” A moan slips out of him as you push deeper inside him, your cock now halfway inside. You pant, trying to take it easy, but he feels excruciatingly hot and tight around you. Exhaling deeply, you slowly pull out until only the tip remains inside, then you push back in, going deeper this time.

“Are you still fine with this?” You mumble as you keep going, finally going as far inside as you can. He gasps at the feeling of you being fully inside him. Your cock throbs to move.

“Yeah – just fuckin’ move already before I lose my mind.” He complains, his hands grabbing onto the sheets. You chuckle and slowly draw your hips up, thrusting back in softly. Your smooth, slow, and calculated movements quickly turn the skin on his most sensitive parts a deep red.

Just as you feel like you can finally go rougher, he tenses up and groans beneath you. “Space Boy – fuck – it hurts.” 

“Shit. Want to stop?” Out of breath and hazy, you begin to pull out, already missing how hot and tight he feels around you.

“No, no. Can we just try a different position?”

“Sure, of course. Let’s change positions.”

You roll over and lie on your back as you watch him stand up and straddle your lap. He pours more lube onto your cock as you observe him intently. His face is flushed, and his eyes seem slightly redder than usual, so you reach out and caress his cheek, feeling his beard's scratchy stubble under your fingertips.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you…” 

“It’s fine, really… It um did feel good at one point.”

Your heart flutters at how insecure he seems about everything, yet he's still willing to keep going. He kneels up and tries to push you inside him once more. However, he’s so tense that you just end up slipping and sliding between his ass cheeks multiple times. It feels amazing, even though it's frustrating him.

“Hah… let me help.” You wrap your hand around his neglected dick, stroking it softly, before guiding your cock to his anus with your other hand. He slowly sinks down on it. He manages to fit you all the way inside him. His mind is spinning from the extra stimulation you’re giving him. You circle the palm of your hand over the tip before stroking down the full length of his cock to the base. You pant at the feeling of being inside him once more, a soft moan leaving your lips.

“How’s that feel?” The question comes out in a heated, breathy whisper as you reach for the back of his neck to pull him down for a soft kiss on the lips.

“Better. Can I start moving?” 

You nod and rest your free hand on his thighs as he sits back up and starts bouncing up and down. He starts slowly, your hand still stroking his cock for added pleasure. It doesn't hurt as much as before; your entire length glides in and out of him with little to no resistance. Once you move back inside him a specific way, his eyes open wide and his erection twitches aggressively in your fist.

“That feel good?” You ask in a breathless whispered voice, your hand squeezing his thigh since he stops moving for a second. The only answer you get is a nod before he begins again. You stop jerking him off and watch him with lidded eyes as he slowly loses his mind. His hands are pressed against your thighs for support as he rides you faster. The noises coming out of him grow louder as he becomes more confident in what he’s feeling. He looks stunning.

You’re in awe of how red he’s turning and how his skin glistens in the dim bedroom light. You reach for his hips, shoulders, and biceps to give them some attention. His groans quickly turn to swallowed moans. There’s pre-cum leaking onto your lower stomach from the tip of his dick as it swings up and down with each bounce. The entire scene is too much for you to bear. Your head is spinning from how intoxicating every touch and movement feels. You’re so close to coming undone.

“Wait! Wait. This is – fuck mh – too much.” You groan in exasperation under your breath, clinging to his thighs. Your eyes are closed as you try not to topple over the edge before he comes to a halt. He lets out a husky chuckle and caresses your chest.

“Sorry, I… hah… got a bit lost in the feeling… This feels way better.” 

You slide your hands over his and hold them softly. Your eyes flutter open to look at him. His cheeks are flushed, and his hair is stuck to his sweat-covered nape and face. You reach out for a strand of hair hanging over his eyes and brush it aside.

“Could just stay like this forever.” You moan and sigh, enjoying the feeling of simply being inside him. 

“I can’t.” His answer comes out as a whimper. 

“Alright… we can keep going.” You pull his hand up to your mouth and press a kiss to it. He leans down to meet your lips, allowing you to thrust upward into him. Adjusting to a better position, you angle your legs slightly and use your hands to cup his ass cheeks, guiding him up and down. His open mouth moans and gasps, but you silence him by deepening the kiss while moving inside him. He starts jerking himself off. He's probably close to coming. Your thrusts pick up speed as your body searches for that sweet high of release. As you do so, your stomach gets painted with Joel’s ejaculate. His moans turn to whines because you keep going while his eyes are closed shut.

The blood rushes to your head. You pant and moan as you near your climax when suddenly, you feel a hot liquid stream out of your nose. You pay it no mind, hugging Joel tighter against you as you thrust into him. Your fingernails dig into his back, leaving behind several scratches, as you release inside him.

You both lie in each other’s arms for a moment, breathing heavily. A metallic taste spreads in your mouth when you swallow. You sniff, catching Joel’s attention. He finally takes a good look at your face.

“Huh…? Your nose is bleeding!” With a concerned look, he wipes the blood off your face that is running down the side of your lower cheek. You’ve never had a nosebleed during sex before, but he felt so unbelievably good and looked so handsome while riding you that it just happened.

“This sure is something new.” You chuckle, trying to calm him down. By this point, your nose has already stopped bleeding. He presses a kiss to your cheek before finally pulling you out of him. Your semen slowly flows out of his hole.

“What do you say about hopping into the shower together to wash everythin’ off?” 

“Sounds like a plan.”

The next night, Joel’s family visits to congratulate you on your new living situation. You share a couple of drinks with Tommy, Sarah, Maria, and Antonio. Sabrina and Benjamin are playing with Joel's hair, with Sabrina sitting on one of his thighs and Benjamin on the other. Ellie sits beside Joel, making funny faces at the kids whenever they look over at her. Everything is as it should be.

When everyone's left to go back home, you sit on the couch with Joel, his hand holding yours as he finishes drinking the glass of whiskey you'd poured him. After spending most of the evening surrounded by chatting, you share a comfortable silence. He takes a deep breath, staring at the wall in front of him. You turn your head to look at him. The alcohol warms your body comfortably as your eyes wander over his silhouette.

“Space Boy.” He starts with a soft smile on his face when he turns his head and notices you staring at him.

“Hm?” You smile back and give his hand a slight squeeze.

“I need to tell you somethin’ I feel I haven’t told you enough.” He sets the glass down on the couch table in front of him, then turns to face you with his body, his knee bumping against yours. You nod. Before opening his mouth, he caresses your cheek. 

“Thank you. For taking care of Sarah for me…” 

You watch his expression change from content and happy to his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes getting slightly redder than usual. He gets teary-eyed, resting his forehead against yours while looking deeply into your eyes. His pupils dilate slightly, and his dark brown eyes turn even darker.

“Oh – you know you don’t need to thank me for that…” You whisper, enjoying the closeness as you close your eyes for a moment.

“Shh, I do. I do.” With that, he presses a soft kiss on your lips. The skin on your lips tingles from it. The heat coming off his lips is comforting. When they leave yours, he adds on, “I think Tess woulda liked you.”

“I’m sure she would’ve… except for the part where I steal you from her. She wouldn’t be a fan of that, I think.” You wink, trying to lighten the mood, since you notice how his mood is shifting toward melancholy.

Joel gazes at you with eyes wide open, brimming with profound adoration. He’s swaying slightly as he sits there. The look on his face is as if he’s about to start crying. You pull him into a hug, unable to see him cry without tearing up yourself. His face finds its way onto your shoulder, the bridge of his nose pressing into it. His shoulders shake as he sniffles and reciprocates the hug, quietly crying. Your hands rub his back for a moment as you try to stop yourself from crying, too.

“It’s ok, Joel… I’m here for you. I’ll always be.” You pet his head, tears ultimately forming in your eyes. 

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

EEEEEEEEE IM STILL HERE

SO HERE TO READ ANOTHER MASTERPIECE COMING FROM MY FAVORITE BUDDY

go read this or ill eat your breakfast

ted you mf making me cry with these works of art of yours

But the lying eyes are shut forever

Part one

When you purchased your dream home for you and your family, you never imagined that your life would fall apart so quickly. As time passed, a lingering feeling of doom gradually consumed you. Then, one fateful day, the apocalypse breaks out, leaving you responsible for two teenage girls, a dog, and your wife, while you embark on a mission to find your good friend Joel Miller in the hope of reuniting him with his daughter, Sarah.

This is the outbreak version of Lying eyes!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 16k words

Warnings: SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, outbreak au, reader is married and has a daughter, switch! Joel Miller, character death, mentions of blood, emetophobia, slight gore, blood, homophobia, internalized homophobia, Christian themes, the girls live!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Your wife's voice, though muffled, is still loud enough to be heard as you pack everything up for the big move. She’s taking a quick break from boxing up things by talking on the phone with her friend as you wrap up some decorations and store them in cardboard boxes. You'd finally saved up enough money to buy the house of your dreams. The only missing piece of the puzzle was getting rid of the nagging feeling in the back of your head that something terrible was about to happen to everyone in your life.

Bridget, your wife of 16 years, had been acting differently in recent months, taking longer at work, sometimes working late into the evening. She appeared to be overwhelmed with work, her smile had faded, and she seemed tired, exhausted even. But the saddest thing was the way she looked at you. Her gaze used to be filled with admiration, respect, and love, but it had turned cold and distant over the years.

The move wasn't just because you were moving to your dream house. 

No. 

It was also because of that lingering feeling. Some sort of dread that stuck to you. Due to her line of work, Bridget loved talking to men as if she weren't married. It didn’t make you uncomfortable, even though it probably should. She was a salesperson, and her thing was to use her sex appeal to her advantage. 

You get that. 

Sex sells. 

Of course, she wouldn't stop doing that once you moved into a new house and neighborhood. But maybe a change of scenery and a new job with less demanding hours would improve her mental state. In your eyes, it was worth a try.

Sure, you weren't perfect, either. You didn't always pick up after yourself, but you tried your best, doing as much at home as you could. You also always made sure to spend as much time as possible with your daughter, Rosa.

An intelligent fourteen-year-old girl who loves boy bands and your – as she likes to call it – “old man” music, Rosa is a delight to talk to. When she was a toddler, she made you dress up as a princess, which you didn't object to, as she was the brightest ray of sunshine you had ever met.

You hoped that she wouldn’t grow up to be a teenager who resents her parents. Until this point, you’d done a good enough job of being the adult in her life, that she could always come up to and talk about her troubles with. She was also a part of the reason you tried so hard to keep the family as happy as possible.

Since you decided to hire a moving company, the day of the move was easier than you originally thought. They loaded all the labeled boxes and furniture into their giant moving truck in less than two hours.

Just as they were unloading everything into your new house, you were helping them get some boxes out. One of the neighbors, last name Miller, stopped by to say hello and ask if he could help in any way. You politely declined, imagining Bridget flirting with such a handsome man.

“I understand,” he said, before adding, “but as a welcome gift, I'd like to invite you and your family to a barbecue. Just so you and your family can get to know the people around here. Sorta have a meet and greet of the neighborhood.”

He seemed like a sweet and sincere guy, so you agreed. You hadn’t seen him on the regular since then; his work times seemed to be very irregular. 

It took a week to get settled in your new house, but now it finally felt more comfortable, closer to an actual home. Rosa’s new school starts next week, and the welcoming party is today at the Millers' house on this beautiful, sunny Saturday afternoon.

You were anxious. Mr. Miller had been very charming when you'd first met him, and it had been impossible to say no to him. 

Why can’t I get rid of this feeling?

Shaking your head not to worry too much, you put your hand on Rosa's small shoulder before ringing the doorbell. Bridget looks into a hand-held mirror and fixes her hair. She looks beautiful.

“Just a second!” a young girl's voice calls as footsteps approach the door. When it opens, a teenage girl with beautiful, curly hair adorned with colorful bobby pins stands in front of you and your family, waving happily.

“You must be the new neighbors! I'm Sarah, nice to meet you. Dad's in the backyard with the others. Come on in, I'll show you the way!”

You smile as you close the door behind you, gently pushing Bridget and Rosa in front of you.

As the four of you make your way to the backyard, you can't help but look around the house. You notice the lack of pictures of Sarah's mother, only photos of her and her dad, along with presumably Mr. Miller's brother.

The backyard isn't the biggest you've ever seen, but it's big enough to host a party like this. There are about 5 to 10 people scattered around. Some holding beers, some holding glasses of various drinks, with booze or without. The man of the house is at the grill, already hard at work.

Sarah introduces some of the neighbors from the area. The Adlers are there with their cute border collie named Mercy. But other than them, the only other names you remember hearing are Denise and Pastor Jorge. The entire introduction round is a bit exhausting. Having greeted everyone in the area, you manage to get to him.

“Hello, Mr. Miller. Thank you so much for inviting us over for today and organizing this barbecue!” Bridget says with a big smile as she approaches him as well.

“Oh! Hello! It's my pleasure. But please, call me Joel.” Holding the tongs in his left hand, he shakes hands with everyone.

“Hi, Mr. Mi – I mean. Joel. This is my wife, Bridget,” you gesture to her, smile and continue, “and this is my daughter, Rosa. We're thrilled to be here.”

“Hello, Rosa. Sarah would probably like to chat with you, why don't you two hang out together? You'll be goin’ to the same school when it starts again on Monday, so it would be great if you could make a friend already,” Joel says. He pats Sarah on the back and encourages the two girls to spend some time getting to know each other during the last days of summer vacation.

You touch Rosa's arm before she leaves, wanting to make sure she's going to be okay. “Just holler if you need me, alright, Star?”

Rosa smiles at you before she leaves with Sarah, “I'll be fine, Dad.”

A worried smile spreads across your face as you watch the two girls walk into the house, Sarah excitedly asking about Rosa's interests as they go.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of Bridget adjusting her blouse to make herself look more presentable. You smile to yourself.

“So, Joel. Is there a Mrs. Miller we should introduce ourselves to?” Bridget's tone suggests that she's curious about his living arrangements.

“Nope. It's just Sarah and me,” Joel answers in a cold tone and turns to you, his fake smile turning into a genuine expression when his eyes meet yours. He doesn't seem to want to dwell on this topic. From now on, he acts rather distant toward your wife, which you find a bit odd.

“I'm really glad to have another family around with a kid about Sarah's age. I worry about her a ton,” he explains, gesturing toward the cooler for you to grab something to drink.

“Oh, I'm glad about that too, actually. Rosa had a hard time moving away from her friends, so I hope for the best.” You grab one of the bottles of beer as you continue to chit-chat.

Bridget doesn’t seem keen on continuing the conversation. She politely excuses herself to converse with the other neighbors. She starts chatting with some of the other people around, mostly with Pastor Jorge.

He's a young, good-looking man of the Lord, but you are sure Bridget won't make a fool of your family in front of the face of the local church. You still keep an eye on her even as you chat with Joel. Your eyes occasionally wander over to her, causing you to pay less attention to the conversation you're having than you ought to, due to how stunning she looks today.

“Houston to Space Boy, you there?” Joel notices you're spacing out and takes a sip from his beer bottle before nudging you.

Space Boy. That's the first time he's called you that. It won't be the last. You have a tendency to be a bit spacey from time to time. It’ll stick.

“Huh? What? Oh, I'm so sorry, Joel. I was just a bit distracted.” You smile sheepishly and take a big gulp of your beer, prying your eyes off your wife.

“You're good, don't worry about it,” he responds with a smile.

“No, I’m really sorry. I should have paid more attention to our conversation. Let me just… stand here,” as you say this, you move so that your back is to where Bridget is standing.

Joel watches you in silence, his face amused.

“So, Space Boy. Got any interestin’ hobbies?” His tone sounds playful.

“Hah, besides working, watching TV, doing my job around the house, and looking after Rosa, not much, honestly. What about you?”

The rest of the party goes on as expected. The food that Joel and Sarah cooked is amazing, and thankfully, the girls seem to like each other very much. For the rest of the afternoon, you enjoy chatting with Joel, getting to know him better. Bridget mostly sticks to other people but joins in on the conversation between you and Joel from time to time. She seems to be enjoying the new neighborhood.

Joel is fun and easy to talk to. He works in the construction business, and he sometimes looks at his wrist as if he were wearing a watch, then slaps it before pulling out his phone to check the time. The other thing that strikes you as interesting about him is that he likes to watch a lot of different movies. His favorites are cheap B movies, though. You don't really understand it, but he swears they're hilarious and invites you to watch some with him.

From past experiences, these kinds of movies make you feel a secondhand embarrassment unlike anything else, so he suggests starting with some classics instead. He mentions a bunch of them, but you just keep “The Shining” in mind. You stumble upon a DVD of it and secretly buy it to watch together in the weeks to come.

If only you wouldn’t always forget to bring it with you, whenever you watch something together. Bridget joins in sometimes and enjoys the crime movies the most.

Thus, a month or two passed. Your new job was pretty standard. The hours were actually good, and you were well paid. Sarah and Rosa hung out a lot, most of the time at your place because Joel worked late fairly often. But you had no problem with that at all. You were relieved that Rosa had found such a good friend. Additionally, Joel had grown to be a fond friend of you and Bridget.

Bridget spent a lot of time outside tending to the garden, but she also enjoyed reading books with you while you mindlessly watched TV after a long day at work. You enjoyed each other's company once more, and her look was full of love and adoration once more. Life seemed to be returning to normal.

Until that fateful day. 

On the night of the 26th September 2003. 

Joel’s birthday – so you were told by Sarah. He didn't share this insight with you, so you didn't give him anything, ensuring not to press him too hard. His life was already tough enough, being a single father of two – Tommy counts as another kid.

The days leading up to that night intensified the strange feeling of dread you’d felt for months. There were a lot more police cars going around, and the news kept talking about different countries having trouble two days leading up to this day. What mostly caught your interest in the morning was the news of countries bombing their own cities. They refused to clarify what was really going on. And you despised that. 

It left you uneasy. It made you feel like something horrible was about to happen. You prepared emergency bags for the absolute worst case scenario, because for all you knew, the same thing could take place where you live.

So, by the night of the 26th, you are unable to close your eyes as you watch the news closely. The strangest thing started happening. People started getting really aggressive with each other. They even killed others with their bare hands and teeth. Then, there was a huge explosion outside, and the broadcast abruptly cuts off.

“What happened?” Bridget and Rosa come downstairs, both half asleep but visibly panicked. 

“I think the TV station just… blew up. Please get ready to leave, in case we need to evacuate.” Thank goodness you prepared worst-case-scenario backpacks for your entire family. But you can't help but feel a hint of curiosity about whatever is happening outside. You step in front of the house with an old, sturdy metal baseball bat from your college days in hand and look around.

At the end of the road, in the cul-de-sac, you see Sarah, accompanied by Mercy, walking toward the Adlers' residency.

“Sarah!” You call out to her, and she turns around. A look of utter shock and confusion washes over her face before she runs to you. Mercy follows her every step, his ears and tail tucked away when she lets go of his collar. They’re both terrified.

“Come in. Quickly!” Trying to get her inside, to keep her safe, you notice some neighbors getting out of their houses, covered in blood. You ready your bat in case you need to start swinging.

She gets inside the house, out of breath and panicking. 

“What were you doing outside?! There’s people killing each other out there, for goodness’ sake!” You make sure to lock the door after they’re both inside. 

“I – My dad wasn’t home, and Mercy just came running –”

Another explosion rumbles in the distance, but it's much closer to your home this time. You need to get out of here before the neighborhood gets the same treatment.

“Shit – We need to leave. I’m calling your dad and telling him where to meet us, go upstairs and get some good clothes. Ask Rosa for help, I’ll prepare you a backpack!” As you say this, you start grabbing the three prepared bags and grab an empty, fourth one, making sure to pack enough emergency supplies for her as well. You grab the portable radio and stuff it into your bag. With the tower gone, you’ll need to stay informed.

Everything goes as fast as you’d hoped for. Everyone gets into the car as quickly as possible after you hand them their backpack. They are shocked by the people you’d grown to know in the past months eating each other in the middle of the road. It’s a horrifying sight. You open up the trunk of the car, bat in hand, and tell Mercy to jump in. 

He’s clearly panicking, but he still follows to your command. There’s no sign of Joel or his truck when you start driving.

“Everyone, seatbelts,” you order, driving off as quickly as possible. There is no time for you to panic. You need to stay focused.

“Bridget, try to reach Joel. We need to tell him Sarah’s with us.” 

“On it.” She grabs your mobile phone and dials his number as you drive. You switch between every available radio frequency, trying to find out what’s going on. But besides the frequent explosions around you, all you hear is static.

You drive on, avoiding crashing your car into anything driving your way, once you stop turning the knob on the car radio.

“I can’t reach him.” Bridget panics, continuing to dial the number.

“Shit – Should I turn around?” You look in the rearview mirror and see two scared faces staring back at you.

“Sarah, dear. You – You want me to turn back around and look for your dad?” 

You notice how she’s crying and how Rosa is trying to calm her down. 

“I don’t know – I don’t understand what’s going on… Watch out!” Her eyes widen, and when you finally look away from the rearview mirror, you glimpse a car driving straight at you. You pull off to the side of the road. Thankfully, everyone had their seatbelts on. The engine stopped abruptly, so you turn the key in the ignition.

When you release the clutch and press the gas pedal, the car doesn't move. It just makes the wheels spin through the mud, digging it deeper into the ground. Your car is stuck. There's no use; you won't be able to get it out.

“Shit! We need to get out of here before someone hits us and get to a less populated area, they’re gonna start bombing everything!” As quickly as possible, you get out of the car and, before closing the door, catch a glimpse of the DVD box of “The Shining” you had bought and forgotten about a while ago.

You quickly grab the DVD and stuff it in your backpack. This time, you won’t forget. It’s your promise to Joel: to find him and watch it with him. As all five of you quickly make your way on foot, the car goes up in flames behind you when a big truck crashes into it. There’s absolute chaos in the air. In the distance, a plane appears to come crashing down into the city, brightening the dark sky on the horizon.

What better safe place is there than the local church, which you'd visited regularly with your family? Your group makes it there somehow. They're typically places where people seeking shelter are welcomed, but as soon as you step into the large, cool building, you get the feeling that something just isn't quite right…

Mercy’s ears prick up and his body goes tense and attentive as you step inside. The chairs and benches are scattered throughout the main room. Lying on the floor are people, all of whom you realize are dead. Their blood seeps out of deep wounds that seem to have been left behind by a rabid animal. It collects around them on the floor. The sound of grunting and muffled crying reverberates off the walls.

Your eyes drift up the center aisle, where light shines in through the building's colorful windows, illuminating the entire scene in a soft glow. When your eyes encounter the sight of Pastor Jorge at the altar crying as he devours someone, the grip on your baseball bat tightens. The man's feral cries are accompanied by the sound of his teeth sinking into the stomach of what appears to be a man whose face has been completely scratched open beyond recognition. The sound of the corpse's intestines squelching as his teeth sink in is enough to send a shiver down your spine. You gulp at the sight, ready yourself, and turn to Bridget and the girls, who are standing right behind you. They are watching in horror, trying to keep it together and not make a sound.

Mercy lets out a low, threatening growl. 

The Pastor’s head snaps up, and his bloodshot eyes stare directly at you, filled with primal rage. His face is smeared with blood. He rapidly crawls over the lifeless body and over the altar in your direction.

“Stand back!” You shout at Bridget and the girls, hopping backwards slightly. They quickly bolt further away from you and closer to the entrance of the church. Even though your brain is screaming at you to do the same, you stand your ground as he runs toward you at full speed. With a quickened heartbeat, you carefully watch him, to time your swing at the right moment. He’s quick, only four rows of benches away from you. 

Now.

You take a big swing at his head. The skull cracks audibly from the impact, sending him flying off to the side, against one of the wooden benches. His body twitches on the floor before stopping completely.

“Shit – I think he’s dead!” Bridget runs up to him, kneels down by his side, and checks his pulse. She shakes her head, crosses herself, and gets back up to join your group, leaving the bleeding body behind. “He’s gone.”

Adrenaline pumps through your body, your breath heavy and your pulse quick. But your mind is screaming. You just killed a Pastor. Even if he was infected, it doesn't feel great.

“Fuck… I don’t think we can stay here.” Exasperated, you look around on high alert, scared there might be more infected. That's when you look at Mercy. He seems to have calmed down the moment Pastor Jorge's lights went off. Your daughter steps closer to the dog, kneeling down beside him as her eyes meet yours. She seems impressed, even though she just witnessed you murder someone.

“Dad, I think Mercy might know when someone’s infected.” Rosa points out. She pets him as she does. You remember how he growled the moment you stepped into the church.

“Yeah, Mr. SB, he started growling the moment he saw him.” Sarah adds, rubbing her upper arm and shifting her weight from one leg to the other, trying to calm down from what just happened.

“You might actually be right, Star, Sarah… Mercy.” He looks up at you. You pet him with a smile. A smile, that sadly doesn't reach your eyes. “Good boy.”

His tail wags happily as he pants, with his tongue hanging out. Your smile finally makes it to your eyes as he looks at you with adoration. At least, with his presence, you get to feel a little safer. 

That night, when you lie down to sleep and let Bridget keep watch, the sound of Pastor Jorge grunting and crying as he ate someone on the altar haunts your mind. The sound of his skull breaking accompanies it like a stubborn echo.

The images keep repeating in your brain, over and over, as if stuck in a loop you can't escape. You hit Pastor Jorge’s head so hard that his skull caved in. There’s no way this image will fade. Ever.

As you lie awake on one of the church's benches, staring at its ceiling, your mind keeps flashing the most gruesome things you’ve seen these past days.

I hope Joel and Tommy survived.

You reach for the DVD case that’s tucked away in your backpack and read the text written on the back: “The first epic horror film.” 

A small smile spreads across your face as you exhale softly and rub your thumb over the plastic cover of the case. Its smooth texture soothes you.

A quarantine zone. Somehow, after witnessing the horrors of those days and defending your family from the infected with your now beaten and bloodied bat, you manage to enter a provisional QZ a week later thanks to Mercy’s warnings.

The first thing you do is look for Joel or Tommy with Sarah. She’s been in distress ever since that night, constantly afraid of hearing the news that they were found dead, or worse, infected. Sadly, nobody manages to tell you where the brothers are, leaving you in the dark. But Sarah refuses to give up hope.

As you lie in bed with a sleeping Bridget in your arms, you are awake and hopeful that one day you will reunite Sarah with her family. You find yourself wishing to share one more heartfelt moment with your friend. Then, the memories of the things you’ve done to get your family here flood your mind as you stare at the cream-colored wall of your new bedroom.

And so, nearly two years pass. You're constantly on edge because of news of different QZs failing, and you're trying to acquire enough supplies to survive for you and your family once yours inevitably falls. You started working as a cobbler in the first few weeks after your arrival. You learned from a trained shoemaker, and you began helping people mend their shoes when they ultimately fell apart. You even began making new ones from scratch when Rosa and Sarah’s shoes wore out.

The first sign that a QZ is about to fall is general unhappiness among the people. More and more people riot within the walls because they feel mistreated and don't receive enough supplies to live while being oppressed. Such riots have become more frequent in recent weeks, prompting you to prepare to leave for a different place as soon as you gather the necessary supplies. Sarah is still hopeful of finding her family. And so are you. You refuse to believe your good friend died.

Your family leaves the “safety” of the walls before the sun even rises.  It's quite a beautiful morning. The air outside feels fresh and mildewy. Mercy walks steadily by your side, his tail wagging excitedly to finally be outside the filthy, cramped streets. Leaving the QZ isn't too hard since it's on the outskirts of a larger city and your apartment is close to one of the surrounding walls. 

As the sun rises on the horizon, the air around you gets warmer. Three hours have passed since you left. You walk through the overgrown grass fields and onto a road that leads northwest in the direction of New Mexico and Colorado. The empty-looking road quickly has singular houses popping up next to it, and the scenery turns into a small city. There's a greater risk crossing through these areas; you've heard that people walking through them get attacked by residual infected living within the walls of these houses. It’s the perfect ground to run into trouble.

“Sarah, Star. Quick break.” You stop and grab a map from your backpack to check how to avoid walking through the city. To your disappointment, you see that a deep river flows through the city. You trace a different path with your finger that would avoid the river, but it would be a huge detour and have you backtracking close to the QZ.

“How’s it looking, honey?” Bridget softly touches your arm to get your attention. You look at her and give her a quick peck on the lips.

“Not too good. We might need to go through the city to cross the river, after all. We can’t really walk through those fields, either.” You look at the giant, densely overgrown fields. 

“Then that’s where we’ll go. We’ve got Mercy, after all.” She smiles and pets his head, leaving the fur slightly messy.

“Yeah. Better get our guns out in case we need them.” You gently fold the map and store it in the outer pocket of your pack. Thankfully, your rifle is always strapped to you, so you simply pull it to the front to have it ready.

There is no other way around it. You go ahead, treading carefully. Rosa and Sarah are between you and Bridget, who is walking at the very back. She is cautiously looking around with her pistol in hand. Your group is quiet, listening to every noise around you. Some birds chirp. There, at the end of the road, is the bridge, still intact, not having been bombed due to the small size of the city. The closer you get to it, though, the quieter it gets.

“Only a little bit further,” you whisper. But as soon as you do, Mercy growls, signaling the presence of an infected nearby. Then, a spine-chilling snarl approaches you from the side. You barely catch a glimpse of it when Rosa and Sarah run ahead of you. Your legs automatically follow them as you ready your rifle to shoot. But the runner is quick and gets to Bridget in the blink of an eye.

The sound of gunshots firing triggers more snarling and gargling from between the houses.

Bridget managed to shoot the one that sprinted at you in the head. However, the shots attracted more of them your way. Your group crosses the bridge and leaves the city behind, with three infected following after you. Bridget shoots another one before you take out the last two.

Without waiting to see if more are following, you make it to a field with a broken gate and some cattle. There is a shed on top of the small hill, so you head up that way. It might be a good place to take a break before continuing on for the rest of the day, and to also check on everyone.

“We made it out alive…” You breathe heavily and look behind you down the hill one more time. There are no infected after you anymore. The cows happily graze, enjoying their freedom. Mercy’s quiet. Rosa and Sarah sit on the floor in front of the shed, catching their breath.

When you look at Bridget, you notice that she is avoiding your gaze. Her hand is wrapped around her wrist before she stores her pistol in her backpack. Mercy isn't relaxing as usual; his eyes are fixed on your wife as if he's preparing to attack.

“Is everyone alright? Any bites?” You ask, looking at the girls and reaching out for Bridget. They nod after looking themselves over for any bite marks or injuries.

“All good, Mr. SB.” Sarah responds.

“I’m fine, too, Dad.”

“Bridget?” You look at her. 

She hesitantly nods and coughs into her fist, saying, “Just a second, girls, we need to talk.” She walks up to them, gives them a big hug and a kiss on the head, and pulls you alone into the shed. You get a strange feeling in your stomach.

It can’t be.

She closes the heavy door to the shed after you; it creaks in its slightly rusted hinges. 

“Bridget…?” You feel a clump forming in your throat when you turn to look at her. The stale air in the shed smells of rotting wood and hay. She slowly pulls up her sleeve and looks away in pain.

“I… I got bit.” Her soft-spoken, guilt-filled words hit you like a truck.

You shake your head no and reach out to look at her forearm, a panic spreading through your entire body. Lo and behold, there is a deep bite mark, aggressive tendrils expanding under her soft skin, which is now slightly discolored. The sight makes your heart stop. Your thumb rubs over the mark, and the feeling of the surrounding veins forces you to gulp.

“No… No, this can’t –”

“I’m sorry…” She sobs as she pulls her arm away from your grasp to pick up her backpack. While rummaging through it, she takes out her pistol and continues, “I need you to take this… and shoot me.” 

“No.” You’re in denial. She’ll survive. She needs to survive. You can’t do all of this on your own. You’re meant to survive this hell together and reunite Sarah with her family.

She pushes the pistol into your trembling hands; her own hand twitches slightly as she does so. She should still have time. A bite at a place like this takes two to eight hours until someone is fully infected. Why is she twitching already?

“Please. I don’t want to turn into a mindless… thing and attack you or the girls.” 

“No, Bridget. You can’t ask me to do this.” Tears form in your eyes as you look at her. Her terrified gaze is locked on yours. Her bottom lip trembles. Even though she’s crying, she’s certain of this. 

“You can do this… Please, I want it to be you. I can’t do this to myself…”

By this point, you’re shaking, tears streaming down your face. Her sobbing pleas force you to take a deep breath and calm down as much as currently possible. Your hands are unsteady and hesitant as you adjust your grip on the pistol. You count down from ten with your eyes closed to get yourself together.

You take one good look at her and reach out to touch her cheek. After considering kissing her on the lips, you decide against it and instead press a soft kiss to her temple.

“Please keep the girls safe…” Her voice is soft and kind, even though she’s gasping for air between sobs.

“I promise.” You nod and step back, holding the pistol up to her head. Your eyes are on her as her sobbing face shifts into a sad smile.

With your voice cracking under the weight of emotion, you utter the final words she will ever hear, “I love you.” 

“I love you, t –” 

BANG.

The birds around the shed fly off into the sky at the sound of the shot. You watch her body fall to the floor in slow motion, her beautiful hazel eyes rolling into the back of her head. She quickly loses all color, blood spreading on the floor around her head. The smells of smoke, rotten wood, and blood hit your senses, making you nauseous.

You sniffle, kneel down, and gently close her eyes. Then, you run your thumb over her wedding ring. You leave the ring on her finger as your gaze drifts to her forearm. To hide the ugly bite mark, you pull down her sleeve and cover her with a cloth lying on one of the hay piles.

“Mom?! Dad?!” Rosa’s voice shouts through the door as it is being slightly pulled open.

“Stop. Don’t come in.” You reply, grabbing everything you might need for the girls that she had with her. With a deep breath, you wipe your tears away, and your expression turns numb and emotionless, just like you feel inside.

You push the barn door open just enough to slip through and quickly close it behind you, ensuring that no one but you sees Bridget’s covered, lifeless body on the floor. The fact that you are the only person to come out of the shed with all of Bridget’s possessions on your shoulder and her pistol in hand doesn’t go unnoticed.

It’s eerily quiet when you stand in front of the two shocked teenagers. As you look down, you notice some blood splatter on your shirt.

“What… what did you do?”

“What your mother asked me to do. She got bit. I’ll look for a shovel.” You carefully place Bridget’s backpack on the floor and store the pistol away inside it. Rosa is stunned by your cold response. You’re on autopilot; your only priority is to survive this mess with the two girls, no matter the cost. But there is still one thing you need to do. She steps up to the door of the shed once again and looks at you. Her expression leaves you cold.

Your sole response is to nod in acknowledgement, allowing her to go and mourn her mother. Sarah follows Rosa into the shed. Broken cries and sobs come from inside. You manage to find a shovel and start digging a hole, not thinking about anything but the task at hand. At last, Mercy is completely relaxed, stretched out next to the spot where you're digging, his rear end facing you. His breathing is deep as he falls asleep. The soil is not too wet; the sound of the shovel's metal blade being shoved into the ground grows rhythmic.

It takes you seven hours to dig a six-foot hole. You've worked up a sweat, so you wipe your forehead with the back of your wrist; dirt sticks to your face. The sun is already starting to set. After spending an hour or two with Bridget, Rosa and Sarah left the shed. Rosa’s eyes are still red from crying. They manage to start a fire for the night once they realize you’ll still need longer to finish up.

Without saying much, you walk into the shed. The blood on the floor has darkened from the amount of time she’s been lying there. Her sleeve is rolled up, and the bite is clearly visible. Rosa must have double-checked to make sure you weren't lying.

You grab more cloth and wrap it around her body, which by now is in rigor mortis. With the last of your strength, you pick her up. Each step you take to the grave you dug feels heavier than the last. Rather than throwing her in, you lay her on the ground beside the grave and climb into the hole. You had propped the shovel against the walls of the hole, allowing you to step on the metal piece to pick her up and gently place her on the dirt.

“Rosa.” The sound of her actual name catches her off guard as you approach her. You are covered in dirt and sweat, and the shovel is now on the floor next to the six-foot hole you dug. “I’m… burying her now.” 

“Alright.” Her voice is raspy from crying as she nods and stands up. The gentle wind brings a refreshing coolness, while the leaves of the trees surrounding the field rustle in the breeze.

Rosa picks a small white flower near you, kisses it, and passes it to you. She doesn't want to look down into the hole. You kiss its delicate petals as well and throw it into the hole. Without saying anything, your daughter hugs you tightly, pressing her face into your chest, and quietly starts to cry. Your hand caresses the back of her head, trying to comfort her. Sarah’s sobs catch your attention. You look over and see her standing not too far away, so you stretch your arm out toward her and pull her into the hug.

You don’t shed a tear as you look down into the hole; your only duty is to look after the two most important people in your life. Everything is clear. They are your priority. They will not die as long as you live.

Once the girls slowly let go of you, you pet them both on the head before grabbing the shovel to close the grave. With each heap of dirt you throw onto Bridget’s body, you grow more and more exhausted. You won't be able to keep moving today. But that’s fine. There’s more than enough food for all of you, and the field where you're staying has a clear view overlooking the abandoned city. 

After closing the hole, you stab the shovel into the ground where Bridget is buried. You take her scarf from her pack, tie it around the shovel's handle, and get ready to keep watch for the night. Gazing at the stars, you notice one of the specks of light shining brighter than the rest. The wedding ring on your finger feels cold against your lips as you press a kiss to it.

After a full week of walking and sleeping outdoors, you find a relatively safe house to rest in for the night. Bridget’s absence has you on edge. Rosa has been silently watching you; she's still grieving her loss. The usual lighthearted chatter has disappeared entirely. The girls don't talk to each other as you sit in a circle, trying to calm down for the night. Your flashlight has been acting up the last couple of days. Even after you switch the batteries, it still doesn’t work properly. With a frustrated grunt, you pick up your bat and rummage through the house looking for tools. You find some screwdrivers in the garage.

The windows had been barricaded, and when you checked them, you saw that they were intact and solid. Rosa and Sarah stayed behind in the living room with Mercy while you worked on the flashlight. The small pieces and wires inside are driving you insane. Your fingers seem to be working against you, being too big, and your patience is slowly running thin. If you can’t repair it, you’ll just have to switch it out with Bridget’s…

“Dad?” Rosa quietly steps into the garage and stops in the doorway, staring at your fingers as they fiddle with the wires.

“Sorry, Rosa. I’ll be right back with you three, I just need to fix this.” You groan when the screwdriver slips off the head of the screw you're trying to remove. You bite your tongue and try again, only to slightly strip the head of the metal screw. If you keep missing the indentation and turning the screwdriver, it'll soon become impossible to completely unscrew it.

“That’s not why I’m here… I actually wanted to ask you a question.” 

“Hm? What is it? Are you alright?” Without looking up from what you are doing.

Her feet shuffle across the floor as she gathers her courage to ask you something. You know she’s bothered by something, but you didn't want to ask. You assume she wants to ask why neither you nor her mother told either of them about the bite before you shot her. After all, they did deserve to say their goodbyes. Yet, you can’t quite remember why you did it the way you did anymore.

“Why did you…” The initial question appears to be changed as soon as she opens her mouth. “… Could we please talk about Mom?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. We both know what happened.”

“Please, Dad, you know that’s not what I mean. Just because it’s the end of the world, doesn’t mean you can’t tell me about how you’re doing –”

“No, Rosa! I don’t want to talk about such a minor thing! If I – If I start talking about emotions, I’ll get us all killed!” You raise your voice and finally look at her.

Her eyes reveal betrayal as they dart away from yours. She turns around and leaves, her shoulders shaking as if she’s about to cry. There hasn't been a day when her eyes haven't looked red and puffy from crying in silence when you weren't looking. The last bit of self-control you had snaps with the anger you feel toward yourself. You press your face into the palms of your hands, your elbows resting on the workbench. She hates you. And it’s all your fault.

“Fuck!” Flinging the infuriating piece of equipment to the floor, you curse and kick the workbench before holding onto its edge to calm down. Your upper lip twitches involuntarily.

Click.

You hear a sound that resembles the opening of a door from behind you. There shouldn't be one there, though. You’d checked the garage three times. Besides, the garage gate doesn’t have a door. When you turn around, you see a man with a shitty excuse for a knife in hand. He's shaking. A part of the wall has opened behind him. He came out of a secret door. Your gaze wanders to the baseball bat you always carry with you. 

“Don’t.” The man says in a deep, quiet voice. But you can hear the fear in his words. It's either because he doesn't want to harm you if he can help it, or because he's alone. He holds his finger in front of his mouth, signaling that you shouldn't shout. He can’t get past you to harm the girls. You need to get rid of him before he stabs you or harms them.

“Please. You don’t want to do this.” Trying not to escalate the situation, you carefully hold your hands up in the air and stay calm. He twitches, holding the knife out in front of him as he slowly steps toward you. Now that you can see him better, you notice that he looks like he hasn’t eaten in days. His figure is frail, his lips are dry and chapped, and sweat is pooling at the sides of his face. He shouldn’t be too hard to take down. There don't seem to be any other noises or people around.

“You alone?” You quietly ask, backing away until you feel the workbench dig into your lower back.

He doesn’t answer, his eyes drifting to the side to look at the bits and pieces of the flashlight scattered on the floor. While he’s distracted, you quickly reach for your bat and, with all your strength, swing at his hand holding the knife. He lets out an anguished shriek, clutching his dangling, broken arm as he falls to his knees. As they hit the floor, the clanking of metal from his knife, which lands next to him, accompanies them.

“Agh! Wait –” His pain-filled expression turns to panic when he sees you raise your bat once more. His eyes widen in utter shock as he watches your movements. Not wanting to attract unwanted attention with someone screaming, you hit him over the head. The man quietly collapses onto the floor with a low thud. The rage you felt before surges again, and you continue to beat him over the head.

Again. 

Crack.

Again.

Crack. 

And again. 

Until it becomes a bloody mess of broken bones and brains. By this point, his face is basically unrecognizable. And Lord, does it feel good to lash out at this guy! Some of the deep red liquid drips off your bat when you stop. Your clothes, hands, and face are covered in blood spatter. Your stomach churns from the feeling of the warm liquid sticking to your hands and from the pleasure you experienced taking this man's life. Rosa and Sarah come running, each holding their own improvised weapon.

“Don’t look, girls,” you whisper, out of breath from the amount of strength you’d just used. 

Sarah covers her mouth as she turns around, trying not to vomit at the gory sight. It's been hard for her to adjust to this new reality. Rosa silently watches you; there's not a hint of an expression on her face. Only her eyes are red and puffy. You step over the body, bat still in hand. Your steps are light and quiet in case someone else is in the room where the man was hiding. You peek around the door. It’s a tiny panic room. There’s only enough space for one person. A worn-out mattress rests on the floor, and empty cans of food are scattered around it. The man must have run into this room when he saw you approach the house with the girls earlier, hiding until he was sure you were alone.

He was all alone in there, though. 

After leaving the room and closing the door behind you, you sway slightly from side to side as the adrenaline wears off.

“I’m checking if there are any other doors we’ve missed. You two stay with Mercy. You know the command to get him to protect you.”

“Dad, can I –” Rosa stands in the doorway, blocking your way.

“No. You do as I say, or we won’t survive.” You gently push her aside, close the garage door behind you, and sneak through the house, checking for drafts where there shouldn't be any.

Thankfully, that was the only hidden place in the house. After cleaning off the blood, you keep watch for the night in case you did miss something and someone sneaks up on you again. Your eyes sometimes wander to Rosa, who’s sleeping further away from you with her back turned toward you. You never thought you’d yell at her like today. Your first instinct would be to ask Bridget for advice. As you reach for a sleeping bag that should be lying next to you, your hand instead comes in contact with the cold floor. Bridget is no longer here for you.

For the very first time in years, you feel lonely. 

Exhaling a sigh, you look at your wedding ring and slowly, quietly slip it off, adding it to the necklace you’re wearing. You close your eyes, trying to imagine your happy place. It’s Joel’s living room. Bridget is sitting beside you on the leather couch while a movie plays on the television. Your hand holds hers. Joel laughs loudly at a scene; it tickles a chuckle out of you. Life is good. Everything is as it should be.

And so the years go by as you try to find Sarah’s family or anyone whom you recognize. Eleven years after losing Bridget, you walk so far north that you end up in Wyoming. The dangers change from the infected to raiders until the day you find Jackson. Maria welcomes you and the girls with open arms. She and her father had settled near a dam that supplied a small part of the city with electricity. It's a little paradise in this hellscape.

As time passes, raider attacks become more frequent and aggressive. As a result, Maria decides to be more selective about accepting new members and communicating with people outside the community. The added security, aside from those attacks, occasionally leaves you feeling unwell. It never happens in front of the girls. They don't need to see any of that. Still, you suggest digging a trench in front of the city wall in case raiders manage to reach a blind spot and get through.

Sarah has little hope of ever seeing her father and uncle again. That's why she moves on and lives her life in this little community to the fullest. But you still believe they’re out there. You're still hopeful that they’ll magically appear one day.

Rosa barely speaks to you anymore. Sure, she still checks in on you occasionally, but your conversations with her never last more than five minutes. You’re convinced that she hates you, though she would disagree. She just doesn't feel as close to you as she once did. Rosa and Sarah move out of your shared home when Sarah gets married, leaving you alone in a big, empty house.

Sarah met a young man named Antonio, married him four years later, and had a child with him. She asks you to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. You’re thankful that she never held a grudge against you, but you know that you’re the reason she lost her family.

That is, until the day a familiar-looking man shows up. Maria informs you that a Firefly member who goes by the name of Tommy Miller has shown up hurt. His description fit the man you knew like a glove. You were excited as you went to tell Sarah, who accompanied you to the medical center.

It was really him. Somehow, Tommy Miller had found his way to Jackson, of all places. It still baffles you to this day how he made it here after all this time.

“Uncle Tommy!” Sarah runs toward her uncle, who is sitting in a wheelchair due to a broken leg, and wraps her arms tightly around him.

“Sarah? Is that you?” His disbelief is palpable as he gently pushes her back to get a good look at her.

“I’ll be damned. Tommy Miller.” You stand in front of him with your arms crossed.

After closely examining Sarah’s face, he looks at you and squints his eyes. “Wait… Aren’t you Joel’s neighbor? Space Boy?”

“In the flesh.” You grin at the man.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe this. Joel will be thrilled when I tell him about you.” 

“Dad’s alive?” Sarah gasps and holds onto her uncles’ hands, almost jumping up in excitement.

“Last I heard, yep. Alive and kickin’.” He lets out a full-belly chuckle, tears forming in his eyes. “We thought we’d lost you… Joel’s been blamin’ himself for having lost you all these years. I need to radio him about you and this place –”

His excitement dies down when he’s informed that he can’t contact anyone outside. Maria really doesn’t want the whole world to know about this community; it's already dangerous with raiders coming around every so often.

After a minute of thinking, however, he adds, “He’ll find us.”

The heart palpitations and panic attacks get worse, and your nights are filled with nightmares after knowing Joel and Tommy have always been out there. Bridget’s mangled, blurry image haunts your nightmares, as do the other lives you’ve taken. There isn't a morning when you don't wake up drenched in cold sweat.

A year after Tommy settles in, another layer of protection is added to the walls of Jackson. The trench you suggested is a good way to trap the infected who sneak up to it.

The gates of Jackson open to reveal a patrol coming in with two strangers. Maria returns with the rest of the group just as you’re working on some boots. Your time in the old QZ in Texas was helpful. Thanks to the shoemaker, you became the cobbler of the commune. You use the materials left in the old workshop to repair and make sturdy new leather boots for the inhabitants.

Through the window, you see the patrol passing by on horseback. You notice an older-looking man accompanied by a young girl. You do a double take after sanding some more of the sides of the sole off.

It’s Joel fucking Miller. 

He finally found his way here.

After you turn off the sander, you leave everything standing and run as fast as your old knees allow you out of the workshop to where Rosa and Sarah work. They take care of the animals, making sure they’re healthy and well. When you reach the stalls, you see Sarah gathering some old hay. Rosa is by the sheep, checking their gums and teeth.

“Sarah!” you say, out of breath and hunched over.

“Oh, what’s up, Mr. SB?” She looks up at you, setting the rake aside. 

“Your father is here! I just saw Maria bring him in!” 

Her face lights up at the news. She hurriedly cleans herself up before turning to Rosa, who also seems excited.

“Where are they?”

“I just saw them come in. She probably took him to Tommy. He should be working on a house today.”

She plants a kiss on your cheek and runs ahead. Rosa joins you, her arm wrapped around yours, and you walk a bit slower behind Sarah. You’re surprised she doesn’t just run up ahead with her.

“Do you think he’ll be angry at you?” Rosa quietly asks, looking ahead. 

You press your lips together, and shrug. “Sarah’s alive and safe. You both have grown into healthy adults. If he’s angry, it’s most likely at Tommy for not telling him she’s been here all this time.” 

“Dad!” Sarah screams when she sees the older man about to climb back on the horse with a teenage girl.

“Sarah?” It’s like he’s seeing a ghost. 

She hugs him tightly, leaving Joel stunned as he reciprocates. You swear you can see a tear forming in his eye when you reach him, and he chuckles.

“Glad to see you finally chose to join us, Joel.” You try to get his attention playfully.

“Wait… Is that… Space Boy? Rosa? How is this possible? Tommy, what the hell have you been keeping from me?” He frowns when Sarah lets go of him. His hand is still on her arm as he turns to Tommy.

“Yeah, there’s a lot we need to talk about, brother.” Tommy responds, smiling happily to see his brother again. The girl he arrived with seems a little confused and possibly hurt. Not physically hurt. More emotionally hurt than anything. You wonder if she’s Joel’s daughter.

Sarah, along with Tommy and Maria, show the new guests around town. You notice that his boots are held together with duct tape, so you immediately return to your workshop, letting the family catch up on lost time.

The boots you were finishing up before the commotion should be the right size and fit for him. The glue was cured enough for him to wear them immediately. You just need to dye the hard leather on the sides of the soles to match the rest of the boots, buff them, and waterproof them. Tommy can give them to Joel later in case he’s too tired to talk to you.

You don't get to see Joel again that day, but Sarah keeps you updated. He had arrived with a girl named Ellie who needed to find the fireflies. She doesn’t tell you why, though, even when you ask her about it. 

Joel was surprised to see Sarah’s child, Sabrina B. Miller, an energetic 6-year-old girl who was ecstatic to meet her grandfather. The B. in her name stands for Bridget. Sarah thought it was only fitting to honor the memory of your deceased wife. She notes that Joel didn’t ask what it stood for, so you could still tell him yourself.

The next morning, after you sleep surprisingly well for the first time in a year, Tommy knocks on your door. He informs you about how he's taking Ellie to the fireflies and asks you for a favor.

“Make sure to keep him here, alright? I want him to stay. It shouldn't take more than a week or so until I'm back.” He sounds a bit upset. Maria must be furious that he’s leaving. She told you they were expecting a child together. It feels strange to have him leave suddenly for a mission with this girl, but it must be important to Joel.

“Is she Joel’s daughter?” You ask before he turns around. 

He laughs at the question. “No, she’s apparently just cargo.” 

Though it's an odd answer, you accept it and nod. “Stay safe, Tommy. See you in a week.” 

“See you, Space Bud.”

And so, you find yourself sitting at a table with Joel and your family. He finally talks to you about his journey, which Tommy had refused to tell you about since he first showed up. He said you needed to hear it from Joel when he finally made his way up here. He can be an idiot sometimes. Rosa, Sarah, her husband, and kid are sitting at the same table with you and Joel, enjoying a meal together. The dining hall is rather empty today. Maria has been avoiding Joel the entire morning; Tommy’s absence has hit her hard.

She has voiced her feelings about it to you; she visited you in your workshop before lunch, and you promised to be there whenever she needs you. She appreciates it. And you hope she’ll take you up on it when things get bad.

“Boston? How the hell did you end up in Boston, of all places?” You frown at Joel. 

“Well… We have family up there. And… Tommy and I thought you’d actually died. We saw your car burning by the side of the road and when I saw Denise before discovering your car, she told me Sarah had gone with you, so I kind of thought…”

“You thought Sarah had died with us…”  You finish his sentence. The feeling of guilt consumes your stomach, and you feel nauseous. Your muscles tense up. You straighten your back, but keep your head down. Sarah sighs worriedly and touches your hand to comfort you. She knows how much you beat yourself up over it, even though you never talked to her about it.

“Yeah.” He says coldly.

“I’m so sorry, Joel.” Your nerves could kill you, given how heavy your stomach feels. Your daughter seems to be uneasy as everyone falls silent for a moment. Knowing her, she’s afraid to hear the question. The one you’re too afraid to answer. 

“Is Bridget here, too?” Joel asks just as Rosa stands up to leave the table, as if she knew it was coming. And that was it. The one question you hated answering the most. The one question she hated hearing the most. She pauses in the doorway and shoots you a look that reveals her pain. You freeze, avoiding eye contact, only to hear her sigh as she leaves the dining hall.

“Dad, Mr. SB, I think we’ll leave you two alone for today. Let you talk things through in private. We still need to work on some things and Sabrina needs to go to class. See you tomorrow, Dad.” Sarah lets go of your hand, picks up her kid, and places a kiss on Joel's temple before following Antonio out.

Joel is visibly confused as to why everyone left so quickly after he asked the question. His eyebrow is raised higher. He’s still not used to the new dynamic. You and Rosa used to be so close. Rosa still seems to enjoy spending time with Sarah, but she’s more guarded around you. From what he can tell, you’re still yourself. You're just older and exhausted from the past twenty years of hell. Less expressive. More reserved. Very guilt-ridden. But he can relate. He would probably use the same words, or even worse ones, to describe himself.

In a silent, almost whispered tone, you answer his question from earlier, “No, Bridget didn’t make it.”

It’s quiet. You play with the napkin in front of you, ripping it slightly and avoiding meeting his gaze. The floorboards creak as someone steps closer. You feel two hands on your shoulders and turn your head to look back. It’s Maria.

“Hi, you two.”

“Hey…” You give her a gentle smile, but it somehow feels wrong on your face after the mention of Bridget's name.

“So… I’ve arranged things for you to use the projector by yourselves tonight. Tommy told me that this guy,” She squeezes your shoulders as she’s saying this, “has a DVD he’s kept ever since before the outbreak to watch with you, Joel.” 

Her expression softens noticeably. She's heard about your close friendship with Joel before the outbreak, and as a friend of yours, she's eager to see how this could benefit you, even if she's slightly upset with him.

“Oh?” Joel is intrigued by this new, random information. The mood shifts for the better with Maria’s presence.

You nod and face him again. “It’s a copy of the Shining. I bought it after we met, wanted to watch it together on our movie nights, but always forgot it in the car. Tommy also asked me to keep you busy. Make sure you don’t leave before he’s back.”

Joel’s face shows a little smile as he sighs. “I don’t think I can leave, you kind of managed to collect my entire family together in one, seemingly safe, place.”

Maria smiles apologetically before letting go of your shoulders. “I’ll leave you two to it then. You know how to use the projector.” 

You nod and watch her leave. 

The big room where the commune hosts its cinema nights feels empty as the two of you sit in the middle. A bottle of whiskey that Maria gave you for your birthday last year sits on the small table in front of you. You hold the old, worn DVD case in your hand. The plastic holding the sun-bleached cover paper onto the hard part of the case feels rougher than it used to. The disc is no longer inside it, but in the player connected to the projector.

On the wall, images of a beautiful island in the middle of a lake appear to the eerie, rhythmic sound of trombones. The camera quickly switches to a bird's-eye view. It stays fixed on a car driving through pine woods.

You pour two glasses of whiskey, raise a toast, and take a big sip as you carry on watching and listening to the sounds of the movie, taking in its atmosphere. The director's name, the actors' names, and the title appear in blue text. Your mind wanders to Joel’s question from earlier that day.

The last memory you have of Bridget loops in your mind. By now, you can barely remember her face accurately. Seeing Rosa helps you imagine what she used to look like, but you can’t remember details like the precise hue of her eyes, the sensation of her touch, or even her scent. The only thing you distinctly remember is how everything felt and smelled when you took her life. The scent of smoke, powder, and slightly rotten wood mixed with the metallic smell of blood lingers in your nose. You take a big sniff of the whiskey, trying to expel the memory, but it won't leave you. It sticks.

So you pour yourself another glass after finishing it in a flash.

The drink burns on the way down, but the warmth spreads pleasantly through your body. You sit in silence as the movie plays just for the two of you. In another world, this silence would be the most comforting imaginable. But your mind is stuck on his question. And the blurry memory of Bridget.

“She… got bit, you know.” You start, already feeling the alcohol go to your head. Everything is fuzzy. Your hand reaches for the wedding ring hanging from your necklace.

“… When?” Joel doesn't look away from the projection as he watches Jack Nicholson in an interview for a new job.

“Two years after the outbreak. We were traveling to a different QZ and needed to cross a bridge through a small city.” You take a sip from the glass before going on, “Mercy, the Adlers’ dog was with us and was fantastic at recognizing infected. He signaled us, but a runner came straight for us. I grabbed the girls and led them ahead of me. We escaped onto a field with a shed. I thought we’d escaped without problem, but then Bridget pulled me aside and showed me her arm –“ Your voice breaks as you near the end of her story.

“It’s ok, Space Boy. Take your time.” He reaches for your shoulder and squeezes it lightly. It feels like nothing’s changed after all these years. 

You take a deep breath.

“She showed me the bite on her arm and asked me to shoot her. And I did as she asked. Rosa’s not forgiven me until today. I know she’s pushing herself to even look at me sometimes.” 

Joel’s grip on your shoulder tightens as he hears this. He stays silent, his eyes no longer on the projection of the movie but on you.

“Hey. You did what she wanted you to do. And I need to thank you. For taking such good care of Sarah and surprising me with this movie after such a long time.” 

You blink away tears and turn to look at him. For some reason, your stupid old heart is beating like crazy, pumping blood straight to your face and ears – making them feel hot. Tears pool in your eyes as he pulls you into a quick, tight hug. Quickly wiping them away from the corners of your eyes, you turn back to look at the screen. Your hands feel a little clammy.

You silently watch the movie unfold, finding Joel’s silence comforting. Still, you can tell he has something on his mind that he wants to tell you about. However, there's no need to press it out of him; you want him to take his time.

The whiskey finally prompts him to spill his thoughts to you. “I also lost someone dear to me, recently…”

As he gathers the courage to keep talking, you peel your eyes off the screen and look at him to show him that he has your attention.

“I met someone these past few years. Her name was Tess. She started this journey with Ellie and me, but got bit when we went through a museum back on our way out of Boston.”

You frown, expecting the worst, to hear the same story that happened to you.

“She stayed behind and kept a horde of infected off our backs, blowing them and herself up with them…”

With a heavy silence, you pet his shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear that, Joel. Thank you for confiding in me.”

His eyes finally glance over at you. They're a dark, rich brown as they stare at you for a drawn-out second. Though he remains silent, you sense his gratitude when his hand briefly caresses yours before he turns his attention back to the movie.

Two and a half weeks later, Tommy comes back with a devastated-looking Ellie. So, you decide to entertain Ellie in your workshop a little. Meanwhile, the two brothers snuck into an empty building to talk things through in private. Joel was frustrated that Tommy hadn't found the old militia group he belonged to.

“Didn’t you look for a clue? They must’ve left a map or something to show other fireflies where they’ve gone?” Joel furrows his brow, pacing the room with his arms akimbo.

“What? You think they just leave maps to where they’re going behind or somethin’?” Tommy’s deadpan voice catches him off guard. He wasn’t wrong, though. If FEDRA was tracking them, it would be stupid to leave records of their destinations lying around.

“… Yep, now that you say it, that sounds unlikely.” He sighs exasperatedly.

“Ellie thinks very highly of you, you know?” Tommy crosses his arms and stays silent for a moment before adding, “She can have a normal life here with you, you know?”

Joel nods and runs his hands over his face as he sighs. “I guess there’s nothin’ we can do, then. Is she mad?”

“Only at the fireflies.” 

Ellie watches you glue the rubber sole to the bottom of the stretched, prepped soft leather. You tap the bottom of the sole with the shoemaker’s hammer to activate the glue. The workshop was thankfully well-stocked when you first arrived in Jackson, so you haven't had to improvise with other materials yet. The smell of leather, dye, and glue lingers in the air. You adjust the mask on your face; the glue you’re working with is very toxic.

“So, you’re Joel’s friend?”

“Mhm. Was his neighbor for a couple of months. He got my wife and I into movies.” 

“Huh. What happened to your wife? She die on outbreak day?”

“… Nope.” You finish working on the shoe for now, allowing it to dry, and grab its pair. With the sole aligned over the hard layer of leather slathered in glue below, you press down. “I shot her myself two years after the outbreak. Runner got her.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry about that.” She grabs the mask you laid out in case she wanted to take a closer look and puts it on.

“It’s alright.” 

“So like… what was life like before all this? Was Joel different from how he is today?”

You chuckle at her interest, but you keep working as she watches you. “Well… I don’t think I can tell you much about what life was like back then, more than anyone else has told you already, anyway. But I can tell you about Joel.” 

She nods and touches the soft leather of the boot that you set aside on a stand to cure, with the sole pointed up. She’s careful not to damage anything. “What was he like back then?”

“Hm… not that much of his personality has changed much since back then, but he was very easy going, even though he had a lot on his plate. He liked cracking lots of jokes and was very pleasant to be around.”

“Huh. Did you get to meet Sarah’s mom?”

“No, but he already avoided the topic back then, in case you get the idea to ask him about it yourself.”

“Gotcha. Can I ask you about… your wife again?”

You stop and set the boot in the stand next to the other one. You look at her. She seems bothered by something herself. Maybe talking to another person about her might actually help someone else for once.

“… Of course.”

“Did you… ever feel like you should’ve died along with her back then?”

The question hangs heavily in the air.

“That’s a really tough question coming from a 14-year-old, but yeah. Up until today, I guess I still do.”

She nods, as if understanding how you feel. It seems like she’s speaking from experience and wants to talk about the subject herself.

“But, I don’t regret going on.” You add.

Your answer grabs her attention. Even though she's wearing a mask, you notice her eyes focusing on you as she leans against a workbench not too far away.

“The people I got to know after make me living on worth it. Plus, I can tell people about her, how she used to be. So, in a way, the longer I live and tell her story around, the longer I keep her and her memory alive.”

“How corny.”

“I mean it, though. I’m sure you’ve also experienced some loss in your life; it’s sadly become a daily occurrence nowadays. Even for people as young as you are.”

“… I don’t like talking about it.”

“That’s fine. Just know that there’s people who would hear you out around here. Me included. And I promise not to tell Joel anything about it, if that don’t feel comfortable to you.”

Her silence indicates how fast her mind is racing as she tries to decide whether to trust you or not.

“Don’t force yourself, though.” You turn the first boot you had put on the stand to cure, placing the top on the soft rest to hammer in some nails for added stability and to secure the sole.

Ellie continues to watch you work, possibly working up the courage to tell you about her past and her ghosts. But she decides to change the topic.

“Who are these shoes for, anyway?” 

“They’re for you, if you like them. Maria told me your size, so I just started making them the day after you arrived here with Joel.”

“Huh, neat.”

She fidgets with some spare nails lying on the workbench beside you, while she watches you push the tops of the nails further into the rubber with a chisel.

“You seem to be very interested in what I’m doing, want to try helping me out sometime? Start an apprenticeship?” You look at her as you grab another nail from the magnetic armband on your wrist. 

Her face lights up before she nods enthusiastically. “If you don’t mind… I'd like to try. It looks like fun.”

“Would you like to try this out?” You step aside and hold out the hammer to her. She grabs it.

The bells at the door to the workshop jingle as Joel steps in and quickly closes the door behind him to keep the cold out.

Ellie holds the chisel in one hand and the hammer in the other, excitedly faking hitting the nails in further. “Look, Joel! I’m helping Space Guy out with these shoes, and I’m starting an apprenticeship!”

He chuckles. “An apprenticeship, huh?”

You nod and smile softly. “I’ve been meaning to show someone the craft, and I can always use ‘nother set of helping hands.”

Ellie looks at you, then at the boot. “How do I do this?”

“You need to push the nail in further, so they’re not visible through the bottom anymore. Don’t worry about the top of the nail, though. The mold the shoe is on has a metal sole, to make the nails curl over and hook into the bottom of the inner sole.”

She nods, aligns the tools, and hammers down on a nail or two, doing pretty well for a beginner.

“That’s it. You’re a natural.” A smile spreads across your face as you watch her excited expression.

“Can I do the last few?” She asks.

“Of course. I’ll look over it once you’re done.”

Joel just watches the two of you interact. Ellie seems very comfortable around you, and knowing you, he loves the idea of her becoming your trainee.

Feeling his stare, you point out his old, worn-out boots in the corner. “Tape is great for temporary repairs, but you would’ve frozen off each toe on both your feet had you kept walking with those. I’m repairing them next, so don’t worry, you’ll have them back. Just needed to make some new ones for Ellie.”

He smiles thankfully and nods.

“I think I’m done.” Ellie steps back, hands you your tools, and waits to hear your feedback. You check it over. She did a good job on most of them; only a few spots are still visible through the rubber.

“This looks solid, but here, look.” You point to the holes and move the shoe from side to side before continuing, “These still need to go in a little more. I’ll finish it up for now, though. You can still stay here and watch me work, if you’d like.”

She nods and sits down on the nearby workbench. Joel joins her as you hammer away at the second shoe. That night, you finish her shoes by yourself, hammering little shapes of a star and a planet into the inside of the leather. It feels like something she would like.

Over the next few weeks, Ellie shows up to the workshop on time every day and opens up to you as you teach her how to make her first pair of boots. You help her with the patterns and cutting of the soft leather. She tells you about Tess, whom she knew briefly, about Henry, Sam, and her best friend, Riley.

However, she doesn't mention the death of the last person. She only says that she loved playing “Mortal Kombat II” and that she was the person who gave her the best birthday present ever: the sequel to her favorite pun book. You assure her that you’ll remember the stories and quirks she told you about them so that they live on with you both. She grows to like the idea.

Joel visits when he’s not on patrol with the others, working on renovation plans, or spending time with his daughter and grandchild. When he visits, he chats with you and watches you work. His face always lights up when he comes into the shop. It's probably because he's proud to see Ellie enjoying herself and not moping around, but actually living life.

Besides these visits, you still manage to attend the community’s movie screenings together. The kids enjoy the entertainment a lot. Rosa and Sarah sit beside each other, and Sabrina clings to her grandfather during these times.

A sense of completion washes over you when you realize that the goals you set on outbreak day have been fulfilled. You kept your promise to Bridget by keeping the girls safe and alive. You kept your promise to Sarah by finding her family and reuniting them. And you kept your promise to Joel to finally watch the movie, you had bought, together.

Still, you wish it felt more satisfying. Without a goal, you feel a little empty. Late that night, in your warm bed, you think about what will keep you going. The conversation you had with Ellie when you asked her to be your apprentice lingers in the back of your mind.

Maybe now is the time for you to think about yourself for once. Try patching things up with Rosa. Finish teaching Ellie how to become a good cobbler. Enjoy your time with your old friend Joel while you both are still alive.

The mere thought of spending time with Joel again spreads a comfortable warmth through your body. He makes all of those grueling years of survival worthwhile. You realize that ever since he showed up, you've cheered up a lot.

And so another year passes.

Ellie finally opens up to you about Riley, which honestly makes you happy because she’s so comfortable with you. You craft her a sketchbook out of scrap leather and paper you had lying around so she can draw, scribble, and write stories to share with others. Ellie lives with Joel and has made friends over the course of the year. Maria finally delivered her and Tommy’s baby, a healthy baby boy named Benjamin.

Joel and you become inseparable. Every evening, you have a big dinner with both families, enjoying the feeling of belonging and knowing the people around you. Sarah loves being able to reconnect with her father and makes sure to see him off before he goes on patrol. She’s always restless when he leaves the walls and stops by your workshop multiple times a day to talk about her worries and keep you company.

The workshop becomes livelier. Before, only people who needed their boots fixed or a new pair came by; now, friends and family stop by too. Ellie’s friends, Dina and Jesse, love coming over to chat. You remain quiet when they visit, not wanting to embarrass her.

Rosa drops by once a week. She no longer looks at you with pain in her eyes, and her facial expressions have softened, as have yours. After the first three months of them living here, you actually start calling her Star again, which she pointed out. It came as a surprise to you. You didn’t realize you had stopped calling her by her nickname.

“I don’t even remember switching to just calling you Rosa…” Your voice was quiet and reserved about the observation.

“The last time you called me that, was before mom passed away.” She had noted.

Hearing this from her caused you to feel a deep sadness. You were disappointed in yourself for this. 

“I’m just really happy you’re calling me Star again, Dad.” Her face showed a soft, kind smile that reminded you of Bridget's. She was finally opening up to you again after so long, talking about her feelings.

If it weren't for Joel and Ellie showing up in your life, you'd probably still be the silent, lonely cobbler. The cobbler who knows everyone in town, but whom nobody but his family and friends know by name.

That night, when the sweet, tranquil feeling of exhaustion washes over you, you drift off to sleep easily. The bed has never felt more welcoming. However, your dreams are different from usual. They are no longer the haunting nightmares of your past. There are no visits from a possessed-looking Pastor or the soul-stirring screams of your dead wife.

It starts as a comforting dream in which you watch movies with Bridget and Joel back in Texas. The details of the house are blurry; your memory of his place merges with your old home and your current residence. As you watch the screen, the hand you’re holding is warm, and the thumb rubs over yours in a calming, caring gesture. You turn your head to look at the person sitting next to you. Initially, you thought it was Bridget, but you see the messy, short, brown head of hair. Joel laughs at a scene in the movie and squeezes your hand tighter. With a soft smile, you look back at the TV. Rosa and Sarah are lying on the floor watching the movie, both covered by a blanket with a bowl of snacks between them. Bridget is no longer in the house with you.

Then, the scene in front of you abruptly changes the moment you get up and walk through the door to Joel's kitchen. It transforms into his bedroom. And you're alone with him, the two of you naked.

Joel’s fingers softly caress your skin, igniting fires beneath it and making you squirm in front of him as your breathing becomes heavier. His lips are so close to yours, and you can feel his breath mingling with yours. It’s an erotic scene. You two are completely exposed, both physically and emotionally, in each other's presence. Your feelings for each other are on full display, and he lets out a soft, nervous chuckle.

His smooth, warm skin feels pleasant under your fingertips. With your lidded eyes, you focus on the shape of his lips. They’re smiling – teasing even – with how achingly close they are. You could lean in and kiss them, but you hold back until his hot fingertips touch your erection. A soft moan wriggles up your throat, making Joel give way and lean in. Finally, his lips connect with yours.

His hands grab your sides and pull your body closer to his. Your bodies touch, and his heat warms you throughout. It feels like this was meant to be. As your hearts beat in unison, his tongue explores yours, rubbing against your taste buds to taste as much of you as possible.

When you finally pull away, the air feels hot and heavy. Your breathing has quickened from the intensity of the kiss. He holds your chin as you look into his eyes. You could get lost in them; they're always so inviting.

Suddenly, he gets on his knees, wraps his hand tightly around the base of your cock as he strokes himself. The look on his face is utterly pornographic as he licks the spot under the head of your dick, making you gasp. He closes his eyes before wrapping his lips around the tip.

You wake up from your dream with a groan, hard as ever. It had been a while since you last woke up like this. Actually. Now that you think about it, ever since Bridget passed away. You never gave yourself time or attention for these sorts of things anyway. The past 19 years had felt like a heavy cloud had been hanging over you.

As you turn to lie on your back, you take a deep breath and rub your hands over your face. Your cock is pitching a mighty tent. It’s uncomfortable. Not just because of how hard you are, but also because of why you’re in this state. It’s because of Joel, and you don't feel like unpacking this right now. What doesn't help is that you need to get up soon in order to process some leather, yet there's no sign of it dying down without some… help.

You sigh as you slide your hand past the waistband of your underwear and wrap it around your cock. The callouses on your fingertips make the feeling foreign. As you slide it out of its clothed enclosure, you pull down the covers so as not to get anything on them. The air feels cold against your skin. With two fingertips, you caress the underside of your cock before tightening your grip and slowly beginning to jerk off.

Each stroke brings an overwhelming wave of pleasure and guilt washing over you. You try to imagine Bridget, doing your hardest to remember her features and how she felt. But the memory of your dream with Joel gets in the way. What doesn't help is that each time this happens, your cock throbs in your hand and seems to get even harder. It's as if your body is trying to tell you something. But you don't have the time or the mindset for that.

“Sweet Lord… oh, Bridget, forgive me for this.” You whine desperately under your breath as you pull the wedding ring with your initials and hers on it to your lips and press a small kiss to it. Soft gasps leave your mouth as you stroke yourself to the thought of Joel. The numbness you’ve felt for almost two decades suddenly turns into insecurity as your pleasure builds with the sole goal of release. You don't want to admit it, but you kind of wish for Joel's touch and attention.

You imagine the feeling of his skin against yours and his calloused hands touching you. A breathy moan crawls up your throat. Turning your head to the side, you close your eyes and think about the way he bends over…

Suddenly, your mind clears and static replaces your thoughts. Soft moans leave your lips, and spurts of come land on your stomach.

You take a quick shower before resuming your daily routine. Yet, you feel filthy. An imaginary slimy layer of oil covers your body, irritating you and leaving you with a burning guilt on your nape all day.

You’ve been avoiding him for a week or two now, ever since that first wet dream. Now, anytime Joel unexpectedly strides into your workshop, you hastily avert your gaze. Otherwise, your heart starts pounding like crazy because he might discover your thoughts with a single glance. Whenever he tries to chat with you, you find some other loud task to do – like sanding down the sides of shoe soles – to avoid confronting your feelings about him and facing him in general. When he asks you to hang out, you tell him you can’t, always using work as an excuse.

You haven't been this productive in a while. To avoid spending time with your dear friend, you spend most of your late evenings in the shop, feeling guilty for masturbating to thoughts of him. The wet dreams of him keep occurring every other night, leaving you feeling miserable and irritated. You seem grumpier than usual as you try not to say anything to upset anyone, but it's clear you're struggling.

“Good morning, grumpy pants. You’ve been like this for a while, huh?” Ellie ends up calling you this a few times.

You grunt in discomfort; your eyes are shaded by deep, dark bags. She laughs as she puts on her work attire while you're already hard at work.

“Oh, by the way. Joel found a DVD on patrol he wanted to watch with you.”

“Huh, cool. Tell him I can’t, I don’t really have the time lately.” You grumble.

“… Why have you been avoiding him, anyway?” 

Your chisel slips as you hear this question, and thankfully the hammer hits the sole and not your finger.

“I haven’t been avoiding him.” With a cough to clear your throat, you straighten your back and finally look at her. 

“Right. Joel says otherwise.” 

Exasperated, you look around and shake your head. “Well, I’m not. Now get ready and start tellin’ me more about Super Sam, before I kick you out and send you off to stable duty instead.”

You successfully manage to wriggle out of the topic by asking her about her old friends in order to hear more stories instead. This always works on her somehow. She loves retelling stories about Super Sam.

One late evening, on your way home, someone jumps out at you from the side. Joel finally spots you on the road and drags you into his house by pulling on your arm. He doesn't let you leave until you tell him why you've been avoiding him. Despite your desperate protests, he doesn’t care and manages to get you into his house. The sight of you being dragged around is amusing to people who know you.

“Space Boy, come on! Why have you been avoiding me?” He asks again, seemingly unphased by his confrontational tone. His hands grip your shoulders, holding you in place.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You avoid looking into his eyes and stare at the floor instead. God, you can feel your face burning up with embarrassment.

“You do. Hey. Look at me, please.” It's clear that he's been deeply affected by your decision to distance yourself. “Did Ellie say something stupid about me? Did something happen with Rosa? Did I do something to upset you?” 

You groan as you're shaken by him, desperate for an answer from you. He stops when you finally look at him.

“No to all of those questions. I just need some time to think about things –”

“Talk to me.” 

“I really don’t think you want to know.”

He frowns and lets go of your arms. “Try me.”

“…” You rub your hands over your face as you sigh. “Fine. If you really need to know… Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

Taking a deep breath, you look into his deep brown eyes, nod, and say, “I’ve been having… ehm, these dreams about you.”

“Uh-huh. I kill your dog in them or somethin’?”

“No. They’re kind of sexual.” You frown and finally break eye contact, staring at the floor beside him. Your chest feels tight because your heart is beating so hard.

Joel's face drops as he blinks, trying to piece together what you'd just said, the sentence playing over and over again in his head. What is he supposed to say in a situation like this?

“I told you, you didn’t want to know. I just wanted to avoid you a little so they’d stop.” 

“… Wait. Just so I get this right. Is it… us doing things? Or me doing something to someone else…?” He’s trying so hard to digest what you just said. For some reason, though, he makes it worse for himself by asking for further details.

“They’re about us.” You spit out. 

The usual comfortable silence you two share has turned into an uncomfortable, nerve-wracking situation. The air in the room feels stuffier than before, weighing down your shoulders. You feel the need to leave immediately, so you turn around and start walking out the front door of his house. You hesitate, though, and stop in front of the door. Joel is quiet, speechless by what you’d just told him.

Your mind, just like your heart, is racing. As you try to think of any way this could go wrong, you find yourself hoping it might turn out differently. At first, it was difficult to picture Joel being attracted to men, but your frequent erotic dreams about him made the possibility seem increasingly likely.

You fidget with the inner lining of your coat pocket while the cold winter air burns your exposed face. He is standing in the doorway of his home, looking confused and a bit awkward. His hand is on the doorknob as he waits for you to say something.

“I…” Your mind is still flooded as you try to find the right words to convey your feelings. You need to do it now. You need to do it while you still have the courage and while there’s still hope inside you.

It’s now or never. 

“You?” He tilts his head to the side, confused about what else you want to add to what you had just thrown at him.

“I just wanted to – um –  to tell you that I might have feelings for you, because of those dreams. That’s it. See you around. Bye.” You panic, quickly turning back around and book it home, leaving a speechless Joel behind.

That was scarier to you than coming in contact with a clicker. And you’ve had your fair share of scares from those things. You're still trying to calm down, but your racing heart is making it hard. You sink into the couch in your living room.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

hell yeah, its already stuck in my mind, playing on repeat

PEDRO PASCAL as DIETER BRAVO in The Bubble (2022) dir. Judd Apatow

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

okay, i havent read this yet but im sure itll be another awesome fic from my buddy sir ted :'D

please, stop hating on this. its literally nonsense, this is supposed to be a beautiful thing, a funny thing, not something to be upset for.

be kind, be loving, dont hate on a fan for something stupid, especially when they have done NOTHING for you to be.

dont hate on my bois fic, please.

take care <3

Mini golf

Joel, Sarah, her friend, and you go to a mini golf course and have a great day until you have the misfortune to fall into the shallow water that surrounds part of the course.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 1˙900 words

Warnings: SMUT!, MDNI!, Non Outbreak AU, no use of Y/N, car sex, unprotected p in a, top! Joel Miller

More of the neighbour!Joel!au in chronological order: 'Sweet as sugar' – 'You're doing great.' –  'The dinner invitation' – 'Morning call' – 'Your package has arrived!' – 'Sarah and Tommy' – 'Jealous clubbing' – 'Crunch through it'– 'His anniversary present'

“What do you think of this outfit?” You come out of your bedroom wearing a striped polo shirt and a pair of navy blue, tight, stretchy jeans.

Joel grimaces as his head tilts to the side. “It makes you look like a sailor.”

“Shit. You're right.” You look down at your outfit and sigh. “What if I just change the pants to a different color?”

“Hm… I think that might help. But honestly, as I've said before, I think you'd look great topless.”

“Har har. I'm not going topless to a round of mini golf with you, Sarah and her best friend.” You groan as you head back into the bedroom and rummage through the drawer of shirts. Until you find a mesh shirt that you haven't seen in ages.

“Ohohoho. Joel, I found some gold.” You strip off your shirt and set it aside before putting on the mesh top and tucking it into your pants.

“What do you think of this?” You step out of the bedroom with a grin on your face. Joel whistles as he looks you up and down.

“This one is my favorite so far. Come on, turn around so I can see the whole thing.” His eyes darken at the sight of you. You pull your jeans up a little as you turn around.

“I don't think I'm going to wear this today, but maybe I will on a future date.” You wink and walk over to him, resting your arms on his shoulders as you fold your hands together behind his head.

“That would be such a treat to me.” His voice is low and rumbly before he pulls you in for a kiss, his hands resting on the netting at your sides. You hum into the kiss, enjoying the warmth radiating from his palms.

“Fuck… we should still have time for a quickie.” He whispers. You look down to see how tight his jeans have become. You bite your lower lip and nod.

“Yeah, we should –” Before you can finish, you're pinned against the wall, hungry kisses spread all over your neck, making you shiver with excitement. Your back arches, your body searching for closeness. Joel shifts his focus from your neck to your lips, his tongue licking into your mouth against your tongue.

His body presses against you, his hardened, covered cock pressing against your growing erection, the friction between the two of you exhilarating. When he manages to pull away from the kiss, you moan softly as your hands grip the fabric of his shirt, your hips moving on their own.

“Hah… You’re always so easy to get started. It's so much fun.” He breathes before moaning softly, now also feeling extremely turned on.

Just as you're about to kiss again, the apartment doorbell rings. Joel puts his finger to his mouth to signal you to be quiet before he looks through the peephole at the front door.

“Shit. It's Sarah.” He mouths as he turns to you. You feel the blood rush to your face as you quickly run into the bedroom to put on a white polo shirt and adjust your pants.

Joel can calm down pretty quickly from this sort of thing, but your body struggles to get back to normal for a few minutes. You hear the front door open and the voices of two women coming in.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Sarah asks as she sits down on the couch.

“Oh, he's still getting ready. You got here early.” You notice the slight annoyance in Joel's voice.

“Yeah, sorry about that, our plans before this got canceled, so we thought, why not visit you already?”

You are finally calm enough, your jeans are not as tight as before and there is no visible arousal on you.

“Hey there, Sarah!” You smile as you come out of the bedroom.

“Hi!” She stands up to give you a hug and introduces you to her friend Abigail.

“Abby here has been looking forward to going golfing with us for a while now.” She comments before walking towards the front door.

“Oh, it's great that I'm not the only one who's been looking forward to this!” You smile and wait for Joel at the door.

The four of you drive to the mini golf course, each of you ending up with a different colored ball. Sarah and Abigail are pretty good at the game, scoring really low on the different holes.

“You guys need to catch up.” Abigail teases, already warming up to you and Joel.

“Oh, they're going to hate losing to us, Abs.” Sarah's laugh makes Joel roll his eyes.

Once you get to a course with a windmill, the ground gets a little bumpier than you like. You're still a little frustrated from before you left, Joel's kisses and touches haunting your mind as you try to concentrate on putting.

You swing and hit the ball, sending it straight into one of the blades of the windmill, knocking the ball off to the side of the course.

“Ah, too bad, babe. You're going to have to pay more attention.” Joel remarks with a mischievous look on his face.

“Easier said than done.” You walk towards the ball, almost tumbling a few times because of the bumps on the way. Just as you're about to hit the ball again, you lose your footing and fall backwards into the small basin of water behind you. The pool may be small, but you get soaked from head to toe.

You sit up in the water, blinking in disbelief.

The girls cover their mouths and stifle a small laugh, but Joel stands there with a look of shock on his face. With an annoyed look, you stand up, the water dripping down your wet clothes.

“Are you ok, babe?” He helps you pick up your things.

“Yeah.” You reply in an annoyed tone.

“Sarah, Abigail, I'm sorry. I think we're going to have to call it a day.” As he says this, he walks with you towards the exit of the course, returning the equipment to the staff.

“That's alright, Dad. We need to get going anyway.” Sarah hugs Joel before heading off in the other direction with Abigail.

“Babe, let's get you home.” He opens the door to the passenger seat, staring a bit at you as you stand there with your arms crossed.

“Please… I'm freezing.” You get into the car.

Before driving off, Joel makes sure to turn up the heat and seat warmer on your side of the car so you don't get sick. You sigh as you slowly dry off during the drive.

As the car drives down a forest road, you notice his eyes darting to the side to look at you from time to time. You think nothing of it as you rub your arms, trying to warm yourself as best you can.

Joel pulls the car to the side of the road, to a more secluded part of the road that leads through the woods, and stops the car completely, making sure to turn everything off.

“Why are we stopping here?”

“I can't hold back anymore.” He pushes his chair back and pulls you into his lap, not minding if he gets wet. You blink as you sit in his lap, looking down into his lustful, deep brown eyes.

“Of all the shirts you tried on before, I think this one won.” He rubs his thumb over the damp cloth that sits over your nipples. His clothed cock presses against your ass, you can feel how hard it is.

You shudder at his touch and finally look down at yourself to see that everything is visible because of the wetness of the cloth. Taking a deep breath, you lean down to kiss him, pulling his face up as you cup his cheeks.

Joel's warm hands slide under your shirt, warming your damp skin. You groan into the kiss, rolling your hips against him for a second. Slowly you grow hard too, his kisses leaving you wanting more.

“Lemme get these off.” He pulls your shirt over your head and tosses it onto the passenger seat. The car is a bit cramped, but he manages to get you completely undressed, the air in the car hot and humid from your wet clothes.

His fingers run over your skin, tickling you ever so slightly. He reaches over to open the glove compartment and pulls out a chain of lube packs. With heavy breaths thanks to your grinding, he opens one and pours it on his fingers before slipping them under your legs, his finger prodding your anus.

You moan his name, your cock twitching with excitement. “Please don’t take too long – ah…” He slides another finger in.

“I won't, but I need to stretch you out first, babe.” He breathes close to your ear as you move your hips along with his fingers. Soon you feel him add a final finger as you relax, letting him massage you from the inside.

“I need you, Joel." You moan as his fingers leave you feeling empty.

He nods and unzips his pants, pulling out his thick, hard cock and pouring the rest of the lube from the wrapper over it, covering the tip with the liquid. It runs slowly down his shaft as you adjust to sit on it, your head pressed against the ceiling of the car.

He grabs your hips and guides you all the way down his length, which twitches as it feels your hot insides.

“Hah… so good for me, babe…” He moans in a hushed, breathy voice as he helps you move, his face pressed against your chest. “Let me hear you.”

You gasp as you ride him, his cock hitting your sweet spot after the first few thrusts, leaving your cock weeping with pre-cum.

Joel's hand wraps around your dick, slowly jerking it as his other hand rests on your ass cheek, guiding your movements. It doesn't take long before you're a mess. You're riding him so fast that the car is rocking up and down, the motion of it only helping you.

Joel softly bites down on your shoulder and licks the spot as you keep going, your neck and shoulder now covered with his marks. He does this to tell you that you belong to him. And you love the feeling. You truly belong to him, your body and your mind.

With a whimper, your legs shake as your head slowly becomes lighter, your impending orgasm growing in intensity. His hand leaves your cock to grip your hips firmly as he begins to thrust upward into you. The air in the car smells wonderful to your lust-filled minds, your breaths hot and heavy as you kiss.

You wrap your hand around your cock as you continue to ride him, the head of his cock pressing against your prostate, making it twitch as you rub yourself. Your orgasm soon washes over you and Joel as he whispers sweet nothings to you as you ride out your high. Breathing heavily and feeling satisfied, you lie in his arms. You feel his cock slip out of you, his ejaculate slowly dripping out of you.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

last photo and song

my buddy @pedritofics tagged me in this so I thought I might as well do it :D

NO CHEATING: You're starring in a movie with the last person saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. Who/what is it?

my pinterest is full of bbno$. and im going to an ado concert soon and im excited :D they have nothing to do lol

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

well HELLO im alive :D

my dear friend @pedritofics tagged me in this and i thought it would be fun, plus im doing this while on a call with him so... here you go :D before i post anything new

ty ted for getting me out of bed lmao ily

origin of your blog title:

uhh i got really obsessed with pedro two years ago and sooo ik im probably not his number one fan but i like to think i am hehe.

otp(s) + shipname:

timebomb (ekko and jinx from arcane), catradora (catra and adora from she-ra and the princesses of power), connie and daryl (from the walking dead)? idk im too old for this sht lmao.

favorite color:

dark blue (more specifically, sapphire blue and absolute zero blue).

favorite game:

undertale, the last of us, baldurs gate 3 (the list is long but those are my top 3).

song stuck in your head:

every day i wake up with a different song sounding in my head, so my song for the day is sriracha by bbno$.

weirdest habit or trait:

every single time i eat bread with anything (like, bread with jam, with butter, or even a sandwich), i need to make myself a glass of chocolate milk and dip the bread in it bc i think it tastes weird not being soaked in the milk.

hobbies:

idk the typical ones? reading, listening to music, drawing, painting, writing, playing video games... im not really doing much with my life while in uni tbh.

profession:

im not working rn but i used to be a waiter at a bubble tea store.

dream job:

anything that has to do with visual arts. im doing literature rn and that itself is a form of art, but i would have liked to be an illustrator or a painter or something related to that.

something im good at:

i have a good memory, so i guess ive always been good at studying? or more like memorizing the contents of an exam the day before.

something im bad at:

organizing my time.

something i love:

pedro :D

something i could about for hours:

pedro :D and any movie or show hes in :D

something i hate:

homophobes, racists, fascist, nazis... do i keep going?

something i forget:

peoples bdays. i swear if i didnt have them on my calendar i would have no friends right now lol.

something i collect:

funko pops and books i have yet to read.

my love language:

whats love, i have no soul.

favorite movie/show:

(currently) arcane, the last of us, daredevil: born again.

favorite food:

pizza and soup.

favorite animal:

french bulldogs and goats.

how was i like as a kid:

aside from addicted to trash food, pretty much a cringey npc.

favorite subject at school:

ironically –bc im not as good at it as i used to be–, i loved english.

least favorite subject:

anything that had to do with math or science in general.

my best character trait:

i often give other people things (or lets say "services") that they need without expecting anything in exchange.

my worst character trait:

i tend to disappear a lot from social media –pretty much the only way my friends and family can reach me– very often because i easily get overwhelmed by things that are not in my control and talking to my loved ones about it only fuels my stress.

a detail i would change from my day right now:

not having things to do for uni, im so fcking tired of doing homework lmao

who would i like to meet if i went back in time:

not really meet, id like to have more time with my grandfather, who passed away almost three years ago now. i feel like i didnt spend enough time with him when i could, and that i didnt tell him i loved him enough times.

recommend one of my favorite fics:

sht i haven been on tumblr for a while, i really just come by whenever i post something myself. but my go-to will always be my dear boy @pedritofics neighbor joel fics tbh.

i have no one to tag lol so i guess you do it if you want to? i have no friends :')

yall take care ily

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

ok this had me on my toes during the whole reading

THE WHOLE THING SCREAMS DIETER

THE KING OF FREAKINESS

YES

*chef kiss*

i swear ted every single thing you write is better than the previous one

I like sex, drugs… and you?

Dieter Bravo, your old college friend, asks you to do a script reading together. Although you come with the intention of doing so, you know that it will end with the two of you getting high and making out.

Pairing: Bottom!Dieter Bravo x Top!Male!Reader Word Count: 3˙100

Warnings: SMUT, MDNIT, Dieter is a FREAK (he has a foot thing), unprotected p in a, drugs!!, cum play, thigh fucking, bottom!Dieter, top!Reader, bj (reader receiving), throat fucking, this is basically just porn

PSA: This fic is purely fictional and is not meant to entice anyone to recreate anything that happens in this story. Say no to drugs.

After a long time, your old friend Dieter Bravo finally calls you over to hang out. He refused to see you since the pandemic. He was busy dating a woman from a hotel he stayed in during the filming of “Cliff Beasts 6: Battle for Everest – Memories of a Requiem” and avoided all contact with you due to your history.

Dieter is aggressively pansexual. He'd done his fair share of experimenting with his peers in college, and you were the first male friend he'd experimented with. He started out shy and insecure, but as he developed a drug addiction when his acting gigs provided him with a bigger paycheck, he became the freakiest person you've ever known.

So when you find yourself in front of his massive mansion, you hesitate a bit before knocking on the door. You'd seen footage of him on the red carpet with a blonde woman, Anika, who seemed like a lovely lady. The fact that you've been invited to his house after such a long time makes you uneasy.

You know what you're in for.

No script reading will take place. Dieter will give you some kind of drug, he always does. By the end of the night, you'll either be making out or so profoundly stoned that you might have to call an ambulance. But you still came.

You knock on the door.

“Don't you have Anika around for this?” You ask as he takes a seat on the living room couch. Before you put it down on the mirrored coffee table, the script of an upcoming movie lies heavy in your hand.

“… We broke up.” He shrugs and produces a small stick of lipstick from his pocket. “I'll put this on for the reading.”

You watch as he applies the lipstick, a pretty shade of red that suits his skin tone. Even though he's wearing baggy clothes and looks rather disheveled, he somehow loves putting this on. It gives him a sense of detachment from himself, a sense of being a completely different person. Your gaze wanders over his body, his loose long-sleeved shirt creasing under his slight chub. His gray sweatpants leave nothing to the imagination. His bulge is clearly visible through them.

“What do you think?” He smacks his lips together before looking up at you. 

You nod and take hold of his chin to move his head from one side to the other, your thumb rubbing along his jawline. “It’s gorgeous. Just like you.” 

He smiles, and you let go of his face, grabbing the stack of papers to flick through, licking your finger to get a better grip on some pages. It's a somewhat ridiculous movie, and the character Dieter is supposed to play is killed off halfway through. As you carefully skim through it, Dieter gets up from the couch.

“Are you really sure this is a good fit for you, Dietski?” You ask, looking at him standing right in front of you.

“Oh, I’m sure people will eat this up. Straight outta the palm of my hand.” He extends his hand and places two pills in the palm. “Just like you will.”

You sigh with a smile and reach out to take one of them, but he closes his hand before you can. “Nah, not like that. You’ll need to work for it this time.”

With a frown on your face you cross your arms. “You mean besides doing this reading with you?” 

“Yep. This isn’t work for you, you love doing readings with me just as much as I do.” He takes one of the pills out of his fist and puts it on the tip of his tongue and swallows it whole without having anything to drink with it. His face contorts at the taste.

“Mhm. And that’s totally not just because we do drugs together and end up making out every time we do these.” 

He opens his fist once more, the pill resting comfortably on his palm. “Totally. But you’ll need to get it out of my mouth.”

He presses the pill to his tongue. It sticks to the wet muscle because of its dryness. A little nervous, you hesitate before licking into his mouth, his tongue pressing against yours as you kiss. The bitter taste of the pill hits your taste buds. The small, round pill found its way into your mouth, and when you pull away, you swallow it. Your thumb rubs over his lips, smearing the lipstick off them.

“Aw, looks like you’ll need to reapply some.” You grin, your own lips covered with a thin layer of the red paste.

Dieter smiles before applying more lipstick and pulling you down onto the couch. He leaves lipstick marks all over your face, covering you with prints of his own lips. You sigh as your face turns a shade darker from seeing the state you're in looking at yourself in the mirror next to the door. There are red marks on your neck, your forehead, your cheeks, your nose. Basically, everywhere your skin is reachable, there is a beautiful mark of his lips on it.

You look at Dieter, your hand resting on his thigh. His mouth is smeared with lipstick, which makes him look even more unkempt. Yet, at the same time, he looks quite hot. He pulls you into a deep kiss, his tongue toying with yours as his hands wander up your thigh, kneading as they go.

You pull him into your lap, his hands urging you to lean back, which is exactly what you do. Just as he's about to break off the kiss, you follow him, your hands pressed against his back to keep him from moving further away, not to interrupt the kiss.

A soft whimper finds its way into your mouth. Your hands slide past the waistband of his sweatpants to knead his butt cheeks. His touches are delicate yet erotic, always finding the right places to touch you.

But then he rocks his hips. For just a little friction between you and his growing boner. And it does something to him as he grinds against you, his soft moans slipping into your mouth, his body twitching slightly. His hands try to pull your shirt off, but they can only grip at the fabric, seeking some stability to ground himself.

You finally pull away from the kiss, leaving kisses on his jaw, down to his neck. The flushed skin is soft against your lips… and oh so hot. It's as if it's begging to be marked as Dieter keeps moving his hips, his hardened, covered cock rubbing against yours, making your body burn as much as his.

With a sharp suck on the skin of his neck, you leave a deep dark mark, his moans only growing as you keep groping him.

“W – Wait…” He gasps as your hand makes its way to touch his cock. Your palm is pressed against the front of his underwear, the waistband of his sweatpants digging into the back of your wrist.

Without moving much, you look him in the eyes and ask breathlessly, “Wanna stop…?”

“Mm, nope.” He responds by pulling both your hands out of his sweatpants, “I want to move onto something else. Is it ok if I give you some head?” 

“I’d love that…” You nod, feeling him grinding against you one last time.

With an excited gleam in his eyes, he makes his way off your lap and kneels on the floor in front of you, his hands desperately pulling down your pants to free your cock. You've gotten so hard from making out for almost half an hour, your dick twitches at the sight of his blown out pupils staring at you like a deep abyss.

He opens his mouth wide and pushes his head down until his nose is pressed against your skin, his gag reflex completely gone from how many times he's done this in the past. Your cock is completely engulfed in a hot, wetness. With his eyes closed, he begins to bob his head.

There is a perfect red ring around the base of your cock, smudging all the way up its length. You breathe heavily at the sight, your heart beating faster and your body heating up as he goes. You're not sure if it's from the drugs you shared, but you feel an overwhelming amount of love for him.

His face is messy, drool running down the sides of his mouth as he fits your length down his throat, the ungodly sounds he's making sending vibrations through your entire body. When he opens his eyes just a tiny bit, you notice a few tears forming in them, his face deep red as he keeps going.

Oh.

This is bad.

Dieter pulls his mouth away from your cock, panting as he looks up at you, his hand slowly stroking you.

“… Could you hold my hair, please? Pull it a little?” He asks between breaths.

You nod and place your hand on his head, your fingers running through his messy hair. He wraps his lips around your dick again, taking in as much as he can, which is surprisingly all of it, his nose poking into your pubic hair. His throat feels tight around the tip of your cock, eliciting a small moan from you as he continues. Your hips move slowly, allowing you to gently thrust into his mouth.

“Christ, Dieter. You’re such a slut for me…” You groan, nearing your orgasm, your hands tugging at his hair. His eyes roll back in his head as he moans on your cock, the sounds he makes sending the blood to your hot ears.

You manage to pull him off your cock just as you're about to reach your climax, hot strings of ejaculate painting his face as you gasp. He reflexively closes his eyes as he pants from giving you head. His hand holds the base of your length as he rubs the tip against his lips, spreading the thicker liquid over them.

With a heavy breath, you watch him intently, savoring the image of his messy hair and come-covered face. He licks his lips and swallows some.

“You taste so good…” His voice is hot and full of need. You finally notice how his gray sweatpants have a dark wet spot where the tip of his dick touches the fabric.

“Come here.” You pull him up by his chin and lick your salty ejaculate off his face. He's an absolute mess as you paw at his crotch, his cock twitching against your hand.

With an almost puppy-like expression, he asks, “Can I use your thighs?” 

“Of course.”

You take off your pants and underwear, along with your socks, and lie down on the couch, on your back, your legs in the air as he slips his cock out, the head dripping with pre-cum. There's a bottle of lube next to a box of tissues by the couch, something you hadn't noticed before. He reaches for the lube and spreads some of the cold liquid between your thighs. He hugs your legs after pressing his cock between them, his face against the side of your ankle.

Dieter starts to thrust slowly, his eyes slightly open as he watches you lying in front of him. Your eyes are lidded, your face full of lipstick from his kisses, your hands holding onto the pillows underneath you. His body is as hot as yours at this point.

He tilts his head to the side a little and takes a deep breath, his nose pressed against your ankle. His eyes are closed, taking in your smell and the feel of you around his cock.

Huh. 

You get an idea. Bending your knees a little, you gently press the soles of your feet against his face. His hips stutter a bit before they pick up a faster rhythm. He kisses the soles of your feet as he keeps going, his face turning a few shades redder.

This freak is enjoying this. 

And you can tell how much he's enjoying it. The moment his tongue licks the soles of your feet, his cock pulsates intensely between your thighs, the noises he makes as he continues to thrust are animalistic. If it didn't tickle like hell, you would allow him to continue. As the surface of his tongue tickles your feet, his breath soft against them, you try your best not to laugh.

“D – Dieter…! Ha ha ha ha ha – Please!” You squirm a little as you laugh, causing him to stop licking.

He groans before nodding, “Sorry… Feels so good…” His nose presses into the crack between your feet, enjoying the pressure of them against his face as he thrusts further.

“I’m so close…”

And just like that, his thrusts become faster, more erratic. A muffled moan or two emerges from his lips as he reaches orgasm, his hot semen spilling all over your thighs and lower stomach.

You're not quite sure how you managed to get into his bedroom and get hard so quickly, or how much time has passed between the change of scenery, but when you see Dieter lying completely naked on the bed in front of you, his head hanging over the edge of the bed, you can't help but stare. His cock is resting against his belly, still half hard after all the action. You remember what he asked you to do last. He wants to taste you again, to have you use his body as much as possible.

“Please… I need you.” He whines, as he opens his mouth wide. 

“Are you sure about this, D?” Kneeling slightly in front of his head, you hold it up a little so he can look at you.

He nods, eagerly waiting for you. Without further ado, you position yourself to push into his mouth, the feeling around your cock heavenly. Your heart is racing so fast in your chest that it's a miracle you are able to stand – in this case kneel – upright. You begin to thrust, not trying to go too deep at first. The sounds he makes are downright pornographic.

Any resolve you had to go slow is thrown out the window as a deeper thrust leaves him moaning around your dick. His own erection twitches on his stomach, now fully hard and ready for another round.

It's hard to stop moving because of the way he's making you feel, your moans and gasps catching in your throat as his tongue presses against the top of your shaft. Your balls slam into his face, his eyes squeezed shut by now. With the softest of touches, you hold onto his arms, pressing them into the mattress as you continue to thrust down his throat. He whines as you watch his body twist in front of you, his legs trying to relieve his aching boner, now dripping with pre-cum, by squeezing them together and somehow wedging it between them.

He’s so desperate. 

You're inches away from orgasm when you finally manage to snap out of your blinded lust. There's a string of spit connecting the two of you as you pull out to give him a second to breathe. His pants are heavy, accompanied by a slight gurgle before he swallows his spit.

“Why… did you stop?” His voice is hoarse.

“Hah… Oh, D, I couldn’t stand seeing you so desperately trying to get off.” You pull him all the way onto the bed and lie down next to him, your hand caressing his bare skin. There is no verbal response from him. His hand takes yours and places it on his cock. You wrap your fingers around his length, rubbing your thumb against it in circular motions with light pressure.

A soft kiss graces his hot, deep red skin as a gasp catches in his throat.

“You wanna come, pretty boy?” You whisper next to his ear, your hand now still as his hips thrust into it.

“Yes… Please – Christ – Yes!” His eager moans and pants turn to a whimper as you let go of his cock and roll on top of him.

“Are you gonna fuck me…?” He whines as he asks in the most innocent, breathless tone possible, making your head spin just hearing him.

With a roll of your hips, you grind your spit and lipstick covered cock against his and groan,“I am. Fuck – I will.”

He moans softly before adding, “Please, fuck me until I see stars…”

You reach for the lube and let him turn over so you can get a nice view of his back and ass. There is little patience left in either of you, so without spending too much time spreading him with your lube covered fingers, you push the head of your cock into his anus, spreading the tight hole further as he tries his best to relax under you. You move the curls at the back of his neck aside and kiss him as you push further into him, his body vibrating with the low groans he lets out as you bottom out.

Just to make sure he won't be in too much pain, you pour more lube on your dick as you pull out halfway before carefully thrusting into him. His face is pressed into a pillow, muffling soft moans and gasps. Your hands hold onto his sides, your forehead pressing against his nape as your movements speed up. You do your best to find the right angle, to make him feel as good as you feel right now, your hips tilting and moving in different ways with each thrust.

And with one of these, you finally have him reaching for the bedsheets, his head moving to the side so his cheek is pressed against the pillow, his moaning loud and lewd as you keep thrusting in that same way. You plant a kiss on his neck, approaching your climax once more. His body is hot and wet against your damp skin, his smell intoxicating.

“C-Coming! Hah – fuck fuck fuck – Jesus…” He bites his lip as your thrusting speeds up, always making sure to hit his sweet spot, deep inside him. He's a mess, cursing and moaning underneath you. His breath is heavy as you both reach your blinding orgasm, the endorphins from it flooding your senses as your thrusts slow down, your cock pumping out its last strings of ejaculate as you lie on top of him, savoring the moment.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

oh my god IM CRYING SO HARRRRRRD

there couldnt have been a better ending to this series, this is all so BEAUTIFUL im FCKING SOBBING

go check this masterpiece creators other fics, he makes pure art

i swear if i got a dollar for every time this man makes me cry with his writing skills, id be able to buy a house of my own :')

ly ted

Lying eyes – Part 4

You're faced with a big decision. Will you adopt the love child of your ex-wife and Pastor Jorge? And what comes next?

This is the final part of "Lying Eyes". I hope y'all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading! <3

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 17k words

Warnings: Young!Joel Miller, SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, fic takes place in late 2000s and early to mid 2010s, non-outbreak AU, reader is married and has a daughter, top! Joel Miller, bot! Reader, no use of Y/N

To part 1 — To part 2 — To part 3 — To part 4

“Hi, Edith. It's me. I've been thinking a lot about what you asked me, and I've made up my mind.” Joel gently caresses your arm as you speak on the phone.

“Oh, hi, dear! I was just about to call you. What have you decided?”

“I… I’ll gladly accept. Rosa is going to college next year, so I'll have plenty of time to raise another kid.”

“Are you sure, dear? I know Bridget’s been mean to you in the past and since the kid… well isn’t yours  –”

“That doesn’t matter. He’s still Rosa’s brother. And I won’t hold that against him.”

“You’re such a sweetheart. I’ll tell Bridget. You should hear from someone within a month. But please let us know if you need any help. We'll be happy to help if you need it.”

“Thank you, Edith. I appreciate it. A lot.” You smile to yourself as you hang up after saying your goodbyes. 

Joel wraps his arms around you and kisses your head. “You’re gonna be a dad again…” 

You chuckle and look up at him after putting the phone down on the bedside table. “It’s all thanks to you.”

He looks up at the ceiling with a squint in his eyes and thinks, “I’m not sure what part I had in this, if any, but you’re welcome.” He turns back to you and smiles gently. 

An idea hits you. You stare at him with a cocky smile, like you're about to tell the worst joke known to mankind. His eyes narrow when he sees this, already dreading what's going to come out of your mouth next.

With an over-the-top gasp, you joke, “Oh my God, Joel. It finally happened. You fucked me so good, that you got me pregnant. I’m having the baby latest next month.” 

He rolls his eyes as he unsuccessfully tries to hide a laugh, his fingers rubbing across his forehead. “You’re so goddamn stupid sometimes, Jesus.”

“Hey! You know you love me.” You stick out your tongue a bit.

“You’re not wrong. I do love you.” He squeezes your cheeks together, so your lips stick out. “I’ll make sure to visit you and our kid often, then.” 

You smile softly and look at him with an enamored gaze.

His chest sinks and rises with a deep breath before his hand, already holding your face, pulls your head up slightly to kiss your lips. “If you keep looking at me like that, we’ll have to go for another round.”

You groan as you squeeze your eyes shut, still sore from last night. “I don’t think I can… We’ve been at it all night…” 

“We don’t have to go all the way, Space Boy.” He chuckles before rolling over to lie on top of you, his mouth leaving soft kisses over the marks on your neck from the night before. You take a deep breath and roll your eyes.

“Fuck… Alright.” A heat spreads through your body, his fingers brushing over your bare skin, pleasantly rough.

“Yeah, talk to me. What do you want me to do?” He whispers before kissing the spot behind your ear. 

“Mh… I want you to…” You think about it for a second before continuing, “play with my nipples… Please.” 

He makes his way down to your chest, brushing his thumb over your right nipple before licking the protruding lump and placing his mouth all over it, sucking gently. His tongue repeatedly teases it as his other hand pulls on your left nipple, sending a ticklish sensation down to your crotch that feels both pleasant and unfamiliar at the same time.

You hum as you slowly grow hard and squirm under him. 

“Mm, what else?” His voice is muffled as he keeps his mouth on your skin.

“Hah… please touch me –“ A soft moan gets stuck in your throat as he flicks the nipple he'd just sucked.

He raises an eyebrow before looking up at you, a grin plastered on his face. “Touch you where?”

You furrow your brow and cover your face with your hands before muttering, “Everywhere… please…”

“Hm? I can’t hear you like that.” 

“For fuck's sake, Joel Miller. I said, touch me everywhere, please.” You groan in frustration and take your hands off your mouth so he can hear you loud and clear, but you keep them over your eyes.

His hot mouth travels down your abdomen to kiss the spot just below your belly button, his hand caressing and squeezing various parts of your upper body. The rough calluses on his fingertips scratch your skin in a pleasant way.

His mouth sucks on the part of skin on your hip, leaving behind a mark. You gasp at each delicate touch. Your fingers press gently against your eyes, bringing out a static in the darkness.

He moves his hands lower, rubbing your inner thigh, spreading your legs apart. His mouth leaves marks from your hip all the way down to your inner thigh. You can feel his breath against your skin when he pauses. Finally, you remove your hands from your face and prop yourself up on your elbows, looking down at him. 

His gaze meets yours with a lustful look, his eyes darkened by his dilated pupils.

“What else would you like me to do?” As he asks this, you notice that he gently grinds against the mattress of the bed. His face is a shade redder than usual. He pants softly, his eyes half closed.

You gulp at the sight before nervously replying, “Please suck me off…” 

A smile spreads across his face. “Very good, Space Boy.”

Your heart flutters as you watch him hold your cock by the base, his tongue licking the underside until it reaches the slit at the tip, where he laps up the pre-cum leaking from it. You close your eyes as you lie back down, moaning softly at the sensation.

His other hand begins to play with your balls, gently caressing and squeezing them as his mouth wraps around your cock, a wet, hot sensation enveloping it.

A prolonged moan escapes your lips as you reach for the curls on his head, your fingers sliding between the strands as you pull gently. Joel hums at the feeling, sending vibrations through your cock as he takes in more of your length, the head of it pressing against the top of his palate.

You shudder at the sensation, your breathing getting heavier as he goes, his tongue skillfully rubbing against your shaft, pushing you closer to release.

“Ah… Joel – feels so good… I’m so close. Wanna come in your mouth…” You move your hips slowly, moaning as you look down at him. He's got his eyes closed, his lashes long and beautiful, as his cheeks are hollowed out from sucking.

This sight quickly sends you over the edge as you thrust gently a few more times. Your fingers pull his hair a little harder as you reach your orgasm and ejaculate into his mouth.

“So good – hah – swallow it all…” With lidded eyes, you watch him do so, his mouth still wrapped around the head of your dick to keep from spilling any of your come. He breathes heavily once he finally pulls his lips off your cock, some spit running down the side of his mouth.

Once you catch your breath, it's your turn to help him out. He's been humping against the mattress all along, a small wet patch forming where he's been doing it. He rests his forehead against your hip bone as he keeps going, soft gasps emerging from his mouth. You want to continue watching him like this, all desperate, but you also want to make him feel good.

“Come here, it’s your turn now.” You pull him up to lie with his head on the pillows and kiss him. The taste of yourself on his tongue makes your head spin. When you pull away from the kiss, you smile at him.

“Gonna need you to suck me off, too…” He whispers, his cock throbbing with excitement as it weeps with pre-cum.

You nod and crawl lower down on the bed so that your face is close to his crotch. You wrap your hand around his dick, slowly rubbing it up and down as you watch his face. He's watching you through his eyelashes, his brow furrowed and his mouth agape as he gasps from finally being touched.

He feels so hard in your hand, his cock throbbing as you tighten your grip, sending a hot flush through your body. You lick the slit, tasting the salty liquid that oozes from it, before wrapping your lips around the head and rubbing your tongue around it.

“That’s it… You’re doing so good…” A content sigh escapes his lips as he closes his eyes and rests his head back on the pillow. You hum as you keep sucking on the tip, your hand rubbing the thick length of his shaft. You can feel every little twitch it makes in your mouth and hand. His body is hot under your touch, his chest heaving as each stroke and lick sends waves of pleasure into his head.

You take your sweet time with him, slowing your movements as you watch him laid out before you. His brow furrows, a frustrated grunt escaping his lips as he thrusts into your hand before complaining, “Stop teasing me, please… I’m losing – hah – my mind…” 

With a chuckle, you pull the head of his cock out of your mouth and rub it faster in your tight fist. “Sorry, I was having fun. And it didn’t look like you were hating it.”

“I wasn’t, but it was getting too much.” His face relaxes as you speed things up with your hand.

“Tell me what you need.” You can't bring your eyes away from him as you stroke his cock from base to tip, sometimes circling the head with your closed fist.

“Your mouth…” He breathes, completely lost in the sensation. Not wanting to torture him any further, you wrap your lips around his cock again, now taking in more of its length as you rub the base of it with your hand. You hollow out your cheeks as you keep sucking, your tongue pressing and rubbing against the underside of his cock. You can feel the veins against your tongue.

Closing your eyes, you continue, the sounds lewd and, frankly, a little embarrassing. Joel's breathing gets heavier as he gets closer to his orgasm, his breath hitching at times. His hands rest on your head.

“Jesus, Space Boy… I’m so close, you’re taking me so well…” He moans softly, his hips thrusting upwards gently. You feel his cock twitching and getting hotter, your head bobbing faster and faster to bring him over the edge. Gasps fill the air as he reaches his climax, praise just pouring out of him, making your ears burn as you swallow the hot, salty streams of ejaculate shooting into your mouth.

As he tries to catch his breath, you open your eyes to look up at him. You lift your head a little and run your tongue around the folds just below the head of his cock. He watches you with lidded eyes, his mouth hanging open as he gasps, probably a little overstimulated. His muscles quiver a little until you remove his entire length from your mouth.

You breathe heavily as you look at him. “Sorry if that was a bit much…”

“It was perfect. Don’t apologize.” He blinks as you pull the blanket up to cover both of you. You rest your head on his chest, listening to his accelerated heartbeat as it slows to a gentle resting rhythm.

Rosa and Sarah return a few days later, and you want to share the news about her baby brother with your daughter. You knock on her bedroom door after she's had time to settle in after being gone all week.

”Can I come in?” You ask through the door, waiting for her answer.

”Come in, Dad!” 

You step into the room. Rosa is sitting at her desk, closing the journal she was writing in, when she turns her head to look at you.

“Star, I have some news.” You begin, crossing your arms as you lean against the door frame.

“Oh? Are you and Joel finally moving in together and telling everyone that you’re an old married couple?” She teases, raising an eyebrow. 

“Eh – no, I don’t think that’s the best thing to do right now… Anyway, your little brother’s coming to live with us. I’m officially adopting him.”

“What!” She slams her palms on the desk and stands up, her chair rolling back from the momentum. “That’s so cool! Aw, but I’m leaving next year!” 

You chuckle at her reaction. “Well, you better make that time count then. Don’t worry, though, we’ll be here, so you can visit any time.” 

She smiles happily and nods. “I will. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. Sarah and I have been invited to this birthday party and I wanted to ask –“

The girls go to the party they've been invited to this week, making sure to take their phones with them in case something happens, and they leave the address written on a piece of paper. You aren’t too thrilled about it, since it’s the popular kid’s place and Rosa had told you about their parties before.

It's not uncommon for people to randomly show up at a larger house party, since there are so many people already there that everyone ignores a few more people who join in. You've made sure to tell them that you won't get mad if they have something to drink or do something they're not proud of, as long as they call you when they need you. The most important thing for you and Joel is that they're honest and safe.

You're watching TV with Joel, his head resting on your shoulder, but you can feel yourself starting to nod off, the feeling of sitting beside him like this totally relaxing you. It's getting pretty late. You just want to stay awake until they get home. The show that's on is so mind-numbingly dumb, but Joel has zapped through so many channels that had much worse on at that time.

Sure, there are other ways the two of you could spend time together, but you don't want to start something that you'll have to stop immediately when the need arises.

You're just about to fall asleep when you're woken up by your mobile phone ringing loudly.

Joel sits up a little so you can quickly reach for the phone. You answer the call and hold it to your ear. The distant sound of background chatter and loud noise comes through the speaker before your daughter's voice begins to talk.

“Dad? Could you and Joel come pick us up, please? There is this creepy guy who won’t leave us alone… He keeps following us around saying he’s 21, but some girls told us he’s actually 30, and we don’t feel safe at all.”

“We’ll be on our way. Go outside in a couple of minutes but don’t leave the property and make sure there’s other people around.” You hang up and slip your phone into your pocket before getting off the couch. Joel looks up at you with a questioning look.

“Joel, get in the car, our girls need us.” You gather your wallet from the couch table and stuff it into your back pocket.

“On it.” He gets up from the couch as well and walks out, getting into the driver's side of the car. You grab the piece of paper with the address of the house they're at.

Joel drives the car to a house a few blocks away, where a bunch of people are spread out in groups in the front yard. One of these “groups” is your daughters and an older looking man who is pushing them into a corner just by getting uncomfortably close to them. The music is loud, even though it's coming from inside the house. The front lawn is littered with red Solo cups that probably weren't used for apple juice.

Without hesitation, you get out of the car and swiftly step up to them, grabbing the man's shoulder and pulling him away from them with a force you didn't know you had. “Excuse me. I’m gonna have to interrupt this.” 

“What the hell, man? I saw them first. Fuck off.”

You push him aside, and he stumbles backwards a bit, but fortunately doesn't fall over. He reeks of alcohol and cheap cologne. You decide not to react to his remark, your priority is to make sure the girls get home safely.

“Dad!” Rosa's panicked face relaxes when she sees you, she grabs Sarah's arm, who's also in distress, and walks towards you to hide from the other man. You touch their arms lightly and nod once, making sure they know you're here now.

“You two get in the truck, Joel’s waiting inside.” You gently push them in front of you until you reach the truck. By now, most of the people standing outside have either gone inside or left because you two showed up, so you desperately try to get the creep to stay away from the girls.

They get into the car as fast as they can, close the door behind them, and push the manual lock down from the inside. You're about to walk around the car to get in yourself and open the passenger door a little, when you hear the harasser yell, “Yeah, walk away, pussies. You can’t handle Kyle, anyway!” 

Your fuse blows. To get a look at this guy, you lift your head over the car. He's just standing there, his pants almost falling off his hips, wearing an oversized basketball shirt and a cheap-looking gold necklace, a shitty excuse for a tan from the last hot summer covering his pig-pink face. He doesn't even look like he could throw a punch, his aura is that of a man who lives in his parents' basement and is still his mother's “can't do nothing wrong” baby boy.

“Dad, you really don’t need to escalate this, let’s just go, please.” Rosa says nervously from the back seat, probably realizing what just happened inside you. You calm down a bit at the sight of her worried expression.

“Yeah, sorry Star, let’s –” 

“Whores!” Kyle shouts as he throws an empty red Solo cup in your general direction, halfway across the large front yard of the house. Joel rolls down the window and watches your expression change with an amused yet pissed off look, as if to say, “Are you gonna let him call our girls that?”

He'd like to fuck him up just as much as you would at this precise moment, but he's kind of interested to see how you're going to handle the situation. You know Joel could take care of this guy in seconds, but you're pissed. Utterly pissed.

You close the door with a hard slam before walking around the front of the truck again to meet him halfway in the front yard and gesture with two fingers for him to come closer. “Come again, Kyle. Repeat what you said.” 

“I said, whores. They’re both whores.” He pulls up his pants as he walks, since they've started to slide down.

You nod and walk up to him with your hands on your hips, keeping your anger inside for a little longer. “Look, Kyle. I just want to tell you somethin’. Thing is, if you're going to insult underage girls and call them whores – if you're stupid enough to do it in the first place – you better make sure you don't do it in front of their fathers.” 

“Like I give a fu –” 

And whoops, there goes your fist, straight into his face, your knuckles numb as they collide with the hardness of his skull. He stumbles back, holding his hand over his nose, which starts bleeding almost immediately, the blood dripping onto his crusty-looking white sneakers.

“You fucker.” He groans. His eyes light up with anger as he clenches his hand and hurls a fist your way that you dodge easily. You knew from the start that he wouldn't just take a punch and walk away, you've met drunk assholes like this before. Your heart starts to pump from the rush.

But maybe you're getting a little cocky, because you weren't expecting a second punch to follow so soon.

He strikes you in the stomach, forcing the air out of your lungs and sending an aching pain through your abdomen. You gasp for air, the spot where he hit you tingling. You punch him again, hitting his cheek with such force that it knocks him straight to the ground, sending him face-first into the dirt. He pushes himself up slightly, spitting out some grass that got into his mouth.

It doesn't seem like he wants to end it here, though, as his leg sweeps you off your feet, landing you on your back. Your head hits the soft grass, it's a good thing you didn't start this fight on the sidewalk, or you would have been a goner.

Suddenly, Kyle is on top of you, huffing and puffing like a madman, his hand gripping the collar of your shirt as his fist rains down on your face.

You close your eyes in reflex, your left eye burning with pain the moment his knuckles hit it. He keeps hitting you as you claw at his arm, trying to get him off of you. Your lower lip bursts open after a particularly hard punch, the strong taste of metal spreading through your mouth. You finally manage to roll him onto the ground with your legs and push him down, shaking him up and down to confuse him, the back of his head hitting the ground several times.

Now it's your turn to do the hitting, your fist just pounding down on him, your knuckles bloody and raw. You're not sure if it's his blood or your own, but you don't care. He's groaning in pain underneath you. There's no thought in your brain, just pure rage and the need to protect your loved ones. That blind rage just takes over your body.

Then, unexpectedly, someone grabs you from behind, slipping their arms under yours, pulling you to your feet and breaking up the fight. You struggle a bit, still feeling the need to keep beating him down.

“Don’t you fucking dare say that about my daughters ever again, you piece of predatory shit!” You spit on the floor next to him before wiping the blood from your face with your thumb as Joel drags you along. Kyle rolls onto his side on the floor, coughing a little as he curls up in pain. He looks beat up, but should get away with a busted nose and a few stitches.

“You got him, Space Boy. It’s enough.” Joel's voice snaps you out of your blinding rage. He finally lets go of you when you start walking towards the car without him having to push you. You're out of breath and numb as you wipe some blood off your face on your sleeve.

You get into the silent car, Rosa and Sarah sit up in the back seat to get a better look at you, their worried eyes digging into the back of your head. Your brain feels foggy from the adrenaline. Joel hands you a tissue for your bloody nose.

“Oh Dad…” Rosa exhales as she reaches for your shoulder. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” You watch the road as your breathing calms and the bleeding stops.

Joel pulls up to his house. By this point, the adrenaline, and numbness in your face have worn off, leaving you with a searing pain that spreads like wildfire through your entire body.

“Come on, let’s go inside. You included, Space Boy.” He says to everyone. You follow behind everyone, your steps slower than usual because of the beating you received. You're in pain, but that's fine, you can take a lot more than that. Joel looks over his shoulder and notices how sluggish you are.

“Let me help you out.” He walks over to you and carefully slings your arm over his shoulders, helping you into the living room where he lets you sit on the leather couch.

The girls lock the front door as Joel retrieves a first aid kit.

“Baby girl, could you bring us an ice pack or anything similar?” He asks Sarah, who nods and goes into the kitchen. Rosa stays nearby, watching the two of you from the side of the couch, her smaller hands clutching the cushions on the backrest.

Joel disappears into the bathroom, washes his hands and grabs a fresh towel, which he wets slightly before coming back and kneeling down in front of you. You inhale sharply between your teeth and squeeze your eyes shut at the pain as he gently touches your face with it, wiping away the blood and debris. He also checks to see if the wounds stop bleeding when he applies slight pressure to them, which they thankfully do. The cuts on your face hurt badly, but the coolness of the water on the cloth makes it a little more bearable.

“Sorry, Space Boy, this might hurt a little. Close your eyes, please.” Then he reaches for a spray used to disinfect open wounds. You close your eyes and feel his hand gently covering your eyes so as not to spray anything in them. He pushes down on the sprayer, the liquid burning in your wounds the moment it comes into contact. You swallow the air between your teeth and frown as he sprays it on two more sites.

“I didn’t think the guy had it in him…” You groan as the burning slowly turns into a throbbing, painful sensation. Joel tapes a small piece of medical tape over the slightly larger open wounds before holding your slightly swollen and bloodied hand. He does the same to it as he did to your face, his eyebrows furrowing at each painful looking wound he uncovers from the now half dried blood.

Sarah comes back into the living room with a bag of frozen peas and baby carrots and holds it out to you. 

“Thank you, Sarah…” You take the bag and hold it to your left eye, which has begun to swell. It soothes the dull, painful throbbing of your flesh. It had already become difficult to look out of that eye, your eyelid almost swollen shut.

Joel examines your face closely once he's finished cleaning and bandaging your hand, slowly rocking it from side to side as he holds you by the jaw. “Open up, you didn’t lose any teeth, did you?” 

You chuckle and shake your head. “No, don’t worry. See?” As you say this, you open your mouth so he can look inside.

“Good.” He exhales, his worry slowly fading away now that you're all bandaged up.

Rosa kneels next to Joel and looks at your face. You look at her through one eye and lift the pea bag from your other, smiling innocently at her, the movement making your cuts hurt.

“Jesus, Dad… you look like hell.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, Star…” You place the bag of frozen produce against your swollen eye and cheek again.

“It’s alright, I get it. The guy was a jerk. But please don’t do that again. I was so scared of losing you.” 

You frown as she stands up a bit to give you a soft hug. 

“Oh Rosa… I’m sorry.” You gently stroke her back with your wounded hand, the motion hurting like hell, but you push through it to comfort your daughter.

“I’m just glad you’re fine.” She mumbles before kneeling down before you again. “We’ll go upstairs, now… I’m exhausted from all that, and we’ll let you finish patching him up.” Rosa caresses your shoulder as she addresses the last part of the sentence to Joel and soon leaves with Sarah.

Joel packs the first aid kit after looking under your shirt, just to make sure you don't have to go to the hospital. You lean back against the backrest and rub your aching stomach. 

“Your face is gonna look like you lost a fight with a raccoon tomorrow.” He sits down next to you, rubbing the palms of his hands over his face as he sighs deeply.

You let out a painful chuckle and groan as you take a breath. “I really lost my composure back there, huh?” 

Joel nods as he smiles at you. “Better let me join in, next time.” 

“God, I hope there won’t be a next time. Kyyyyle will actually fuck. You. Up.” You scoff at the way the other man spoke.

Joel snorts before bringing his hand to rest on your thigh. “No, but really. We all got worried. Especially when that guy just fuckin’ took you down.”

A heavy sigh falls from your lips. You share a moment of silence as you're sitting, almost lying on the couch, your eyes closed.

You’re tired and in pain. 

It’s late. 

Joel shifts beside you and leaves a soft kiss on your lips, being careful not to press too hard so as not to hurt you. It feels like the kiss helps to ease the pain all over your body a little. You rest your head on his shoulder, changing the hand that was holding the ice-cold bag of peas.

The next morning, you wake up on the couch with Joel sleeping next to you and a Polaroid sitting on your lap. The bag of peas and carrots is gone. With one tired eye, the one that isn't swollen shut, you look at the Polaroid and see a picture of you and Joel sleeping soundly on the couch. Your head is resting on his shoulder, the bag of now seemingly unfrozen produce on your lap, his head on yours, his arm outstretched over the soft cushions of the backrest behind you. Sarah and Rosa signed it, drawing hearts and stars around the two of you. Even though you look beat up, the picture fills you with a warm feeling. You smile to yourself and press it to your sore chest, closing your eye to rest a little longer.

It takes a week for your face to heal to an acceptable degree. The swelling gets a little worse in the first few days, so you get some curious questions, which you just answer with “Haha, you should see the other guy.”  

Two weeks later, you get a call from the prison where Bridget is being held. The person on the other end helps you with the necessary paperwork to adopt Cooper. Within a week, you have a new person living in your house who loves to cause chaos and mischief, but fills you and Rosa's hearts with a deep love for him. You have prepared the house accordingly, installing toddler gates on the stairs and baby-proofing cabinets and drawers that contain things that could hurt him. You put Rosa's old crib at the foot of your bed, since you didn't have much time to renovate the guest room.

Cooper only knows a few words, which isn't surprising since he's only 19 months old. He waddles around the house and loves shiny objects, rocks, and dinosaurs. Another thing he likes to do is mimic Joel's actions when he's over, paying close attention to detail and holding a curled tissue between his lips to look like he has a mustache, just like Joel. You had shown him how to fake a mustache by holding a rolled up tissue between your nose and upper lip, but he hadn't quite figured out how to do it that way. So he came up with his own way.

Joel and Sarah often visit and enjoy the new company as well. If you didn't know Joel well, you'd think he thought the kid was all right, but knowing him, you can tell he absolutely loves him. He always brings a shiny new rock with him when he visits, probably found at work when he's on a job that requires gravel for the concrete. Cooper always arranges the rocks he gets on his small table that you had when Rosa was a baby. It's full of stickers and pink on some parts, but he's young and doesn't care, what matters is that he has his rock table.

Edith and John take Cooper to visit Bridget from time to time, but it feels like it's not often enough. Even though he doesn't cry for his mother initially, you can tell he's getting quieter as the time between visits grows longer.

You set up a savings account in Cooper's name and put money into it each month, just as you had done for Rosa since she was born. You'd put money aside for her to use for college or whenever she might need it most in the future; he only deserves to be treated the same.

Rosa and Sarah leave for college in the middle of August 2007 to set up their shared apartment. They've grown to be like inseparable sisters, always looking out for each other and having each other's backs. You love them both with all your heart.

Joel and you have a hard time saying your farewells. Your little girls both managed to get into Harvard University, which fills you with both pride and sadness that they have to go so far away from you two. They originally thought about flying there, but since they'd need the car they'd both saved up for, they finally decided to drive there in three days and stay in hotels. You and Joel pay for their accommodations by giving them enough spending money for the entire trip.

Cooper is not too happy about his big sister leaving him either; the recently turned three-year-old had been hiding some of her things around the house that he knows she would need, like her favorite pen or pillow. He doesn't hide them very well, but Rosa still pretends not to notice that her pillow is under her bed or that her pen is in her desk drawer. She always makes sure to ask him if he's seen the missing items. Cooper just smiles innocently and blames a little fairy for doing these things.

It’s an adorable sight to behold.

Rosa makes up for it by giving him a shiny new hot pink dinosaur that sparkles. It quickly becomes his absolute favorite toy.

The house feels empty without Rosa and Sarah. They've only been gone for a few hours, but the little things they took with them leave a hole in the house.

Joel knocks on your door that same night, after they had just called to let you know that the trip is going well and that they have just arrived at their hotel room.

“Hey, Space Boy. Could I… stay over for the night?“

“Sure, come in.” You open the door wider and step aside to let him in. “Your house must feel so empty right now…”

He frowns and nods as he walks in. “You know me too well.”

You spend the evening watching cartoons on the couch, with Cooper sleeping between the both of you, curled up on top of a large pillow. When it gets late, you pick him up and carry him to his crib, saying good night to Joel before going to your bedroom. Joel sleeps in the guest room.

You and Joel are kind of reluctant to show affection to each other in front of him, afraid that Cooper might say something to his friends and get you both in trouble with the more conservative parents in town.

In the middle of the night, you are awakened by someone crying at the foot of your bed. Cooper is standing up in his crib, looking at you from the foot of the bed, tears streaming down his face. You sit up and pick him up to comfort him.

“Sh, everything's alright, Coop.” 

He sobs as you gently rock him in your arms. But no matter how hard you try to soothe him, he's inconsolable.

“What's wrong?” You ask in your sweetest voice, trying to get an answer out of him.

“I miss Mommy…” He lets out between sobs, gasping for air. You frown and caress his head, which is pressed to your chest.

“Oh, I'm so sorry, baby… Do you want to go visit her?“ 

“With Dad…” He nods, finally calming down a bit, still wheezing. You hear some soft knocks at the door before it opens a little.

“Space Boy? Buddy? Is everything ok?“ Joel asks, his voice tired and worried.

“Buddy…” Cooper looks at the door, and Joel opens it further when he hears the boy calling for him. He sees Cooper's crying eyes in the dark and frowns.

“Did you have a nightmare, buddy?” 

He nods at the question and holds out his hand, doing grabby hands towards Joel. Joel sighs and smiles softly before stepping into the room. You move aside in the bed to make room for him and let him join you. Cooper climbs into his arms, resting his head on his chest.

Once he's asleep in Joel's arms, you smile at him and whisper, “I guess you can sleep with us just for tonight…”

You wake up the next morning and slowly blink your eyes to take in your surroundings. There's a toddler's foot tucked under your pillow in front of you, Cooper has somehow managed to turn upside down, his head facing the foot of the bed. Joel is still asleep, his face relaxed and turned toward you. You smile softly and yawn into your hand before slowly getting up to make a phone call to request an in-person visit with Bridget.

“Mommy!!” Cooper yells the moment he sees her enter the room. The guards close the door behind her.

“Oh my baby! Coop!” She holds out her arms and Cooper runs into them, hugging his mother tightly.

“Hello, Bridget.” You stand by the door, nodding at her as you cross your arms.

“Hi…” She gives you a cautious smile. She looks strangely… content with the situation she's in.

“Mom, look at what I made!” He pulls out a piece of paper with a drawing on it, which he prepared first thing after you told him he was going to visit his mother that afternoon.

“Oh, this is wonderful, Coop… Want to tell me who you drew on there?”

He nods excitedly. She picks him up and sits down on the couch in the room, sitting him on her lap.

“You can join in too.” She looks at you, still maintaining a friendly expression. You sit down next to her and help her hold the paper that Cooper has doodled on so he can explain who is who. The paper has a lot of different people drawn in different shapes and colors, standing on a field of grass, with a sun drawn in the top corner of the paper.

“Here is Rosa and Sarah.” He points at two girls with long hair, both wearing pink and purple dresses, which, amusingly, they never wear.

“Oh! You drew them so well.”

“This, Mercy, Mrs. Adler and Mr. Adler… Buddy… Dad and Mommy!” He smiles sleepily and yawns as he points to the circles drawn on the green block everyone is standing on. He continues to ramble on about what each person does. When he gets to explaining Joel to his mother, he can barely keep his eyes open.

“Rocks…” He blinks as he points out his favorite rocks, his eyes falling shut.

“Cooper?” Bridget looks up from the paper to check on him. Cooper has fallen asleep, his head hanging lower now. You chuckle and fold up the paper, placing it on the table nearby for Bridget to keep.

“Wow, he’s out cold.” She remarks before handing him over to you.

“He was so excited, he wouldn’t stand still today… Kid’s exhausted.” You sigh and hold him in your arms as he sleeps soundly, his head resting on your shoulder.

“… Thank you for bringing him to see me today. And for being here, too.” She smiles gently as she watches Cooper breathe softly. “I meant to ask, who is this ‘buddy’ he keeps mentioning? My parents wouldn’t tell me. From what he’s been saying, I’m guessing it’s Joel, right?”

You purse your lips so they disappear before avoiding eye contact, a little uncomfortable starting this conversation with her because of her outburst a few years ago.

“Haha, I knew it.” She grins. You're a little surprised by this reaction.

“You look happy.” She adds. “I've been meaning to get in touch with you again… I’ve done a lot of thinking and realized a lot of things I did wrong. I… I’m sorry for how I treated you.” 

“Bridget –” You frown at her apology.

“I mean it. I really am…”

“I’m sorry, too… For how things ended up being between us.”

She smiles apologetically and nods. “Thanks for taking Cooper in. I'm glad he has such a good life with you two. I hope… I hope I can come visit when my sentence is up.” 

“Of course.”

“How… How has Rosa been?”

You are silent for a moment, thinking. “She’s fine, still on her way to Harvard. She starts studying there starting next month, along with Sarah.”

“She got into Harvard?” A big, proud smile spreads across her face.

“Yeah, she sure did.” You chuckle softly. 

“I’m so glad she managed to do that… I just wish –” She doesn't finish the sentence, her face changes to a sad expression.

“I’m sure she’ll give you another chance.” You say, stroking Cooper's back.

Before you leave, you make sure to wake Cooper up so he can say goodbye to his mother, just so he doesn't wake up later looking for her.

You decide to take Cooper to see Bridget more often, since he still has the need to see her and misses her a lot. Back home, you look through old pictures of her in the attic and find a lovely one, which you frame. You put it next to his bed so he can look at it whenever it gets bad.

It feels strange to see her face again so regularly in your environment. You mention this to Joel, who expresses that he's happy that she's grown as a person and that he'll help you with the visits from time to time. Seeing her no longer brings painful or sad feelings. It's a feeling of acceptance. She was your past, and she is no longer a major part of your life, but she has given you many things that you love and cherish in the present.

Half of the year 2008 has passed. 

Things are getting more and more expensive, your salary isn't keeping up with the rising prices, and when you come home to Cooper's excited smile, you're exhausted and worried about the future. You put on your best face and smile back at him, doing your best to make the four-year-old as comfortable as possible. Yes, sometimes you have to go to bed a little hungry, but at least Coop doesn't.

On a regular afternoon, after you get home from work, you check the mailbox and find more bills that make your stomach sink. You desperately need a refill of your anxiety medication, but you can't really afford it.

You thank Connie, Mrs. Adler, for watching Cooper. Daycare is expensive, and since she's retired and her mother sadly passed away the previous year, she and her husband Danny have more time on their hands and are happy to watch him when you're at work. When she leaves, you pick him up and rock him gently to sleep. He's always fussy and unhappy when you come home because he can't fall asleep when you're not there.

As you softly rock him, you put the letters on the kitchen table and pull a chair back to sit on it as he slowly drifts off to sleep. You open up the letters to see how much you have to pay. The bills have increased again. It's the third time in a row that they've gone up that much.

You watch Cooper sleep for a moment, his face relaxed, resembling a little angel. With a deep breath, you rub your face with the palm of your hand, trying to figure out how you're going to pay for everything.

The front door of your house opens, and you hear a soft voice calling out to you.

“Space Boy, are you in here?” Joel steps into the kitchen, whispering. By now he knows that Cooper is usually asleep by this time, and you gave him the spare key to your house in case of an emergency or if he misses you. He sees Cooper's head on your shoulder and smiles.

You nod as you turn to look at Joel and stand up to kiss him on the cheek. Your face must look visibly troubled because he frowns when he sees you.

“Is everything alright?” 

“No, not at all… I've been struggling to scrape together enough money to afford water and electricity…” Continuing the conversation in a whisper, you unconsciously begin to gently rock Cooper up and down again.

”Yeah, I can only relate… things have gotten expensive lately…” He glances at the open letters on your kitchen table. And thinks for a second.

“Would you… like to move in together? Split the expenses?” He suggests.

You stand in front of him with a surprised look on your face, your mouth opening and closing as you think about how to respond, excited at the thought but worried about the consequences with the neighbors.

“You look like a startled fish.” He pulls you into a hug, careful not to move Cooper too quickly.

“… It would help us both…” You whisper, pressing your head into his shoulder as you contemplate.

“It would.”

“Fuck, Joel. People are gonna start talking if we do.”

“Let them. We can tell them it’s because of hard times.”

“I’d love to move in together.” A warm smile spreads across your face, your stomach flutters with excitement.

Cooper lifts his head a little, slowly waking up from his nap.

Joel lets go of both of you and smiles at the little guy. “Good afternoon, buddy.”

“‘Noon… buddy.” He responds, rubbing his eyes, still half asleep. You chuckle and kneel down to set him on the floor.

“Can you stand on your own, Coop?” 

He nods and holds on to your arms for some stability, looking up at Joel.

“Dad, is buddy staying?” 

“Joel?” You look up at him with a small grin. “Are you staying?”

Joel smiles and nods, kneeling down and resting his hand on Cooper's small shoulder. “I sure am.” 

Cooper's eyes light up, and he smiles the most beautiful smile you've ever seen him do. It almost brings tears to your eyes, so you stand up and watch as Cooper quickly makes his way to the toy box and pulls out his favorite pink dinosaur.

And so the two of you move in together, into your own home. It is bigger and, according to Joel, has more potential to accommodate the whole family. He manages to do some renovations to the house, making two big bedrooms for each girl and turning the guest room into a bedroom for Cooper. The walls of his room are covered with fun dinosaur and fossil stickers.

Joel puts everything that belongs to your daughters in its proper place, making sure everything is just like it was in his old house. You finally get to share a bedroom. The neighbors are curious about your moving in together, but you always answer that it is out of necessity.

The girls visit you this Christmas, the only warning being a card you got in the mail. The card is just a picture of them, both wearing the same clothes. Rosa is lying on her stomach on the floor with her head supported by her hands under her face and her feet in the air so that Sarah can sit on the underside of them. Sarah's feet are just pressed against Rosa's butt, while she's resting her head on her hand, her other arm in her lap, and with a shiny metallic pen they've written the phrase “We are approaching” above themselves.

And so time passes relatively quickly, the days filled with a homely comfort. The family grows as the girls find boyfriends, who turn out to be decent kids after you and Joel get to know them. Jeremy is Rosa's boyfriend and Ethan is Sarah's. They have the same sense of humor as the girls and always send links to funny videos from a website called “YouTube” via email when they think of you.

Joel's old house remains empty until the summer of 2010. Cooper turned 6 this year and started going to school. You have noticed that Joel's beard is slowly graying, which looks absolutely stunning on him. He's also pointed out that the same thing is happening to you.

The rumor that you two fancy each other inevitably spreads one day when a man named Frank moves into Joel's old house and hosts a garden dinner. As with your welcome party, the more chummy neighbors show up, Cooper sticks around Mercy, the Adlers' dog, who's started to go gray around its face.

It's either because neither of you has started dating women after living together for two years, or because of the way you behave around each other. Realistically, you're not doing a very good job of hiding your feelings for each other. Joel is very touchy around you, making sure to fix your hair or clothes when he notices that the slight breeze leaves you looking messier. He also just leans against you all the time, keeping his arm over your shoulders when you talk to people.

As everyone sits around the table, Cooper sits between the both of you, enjoying the food everyone has brought. You notice some people whispering to each other at the other end, closer to Joel's side, and you notice his demeanor changing slightly. He seems annoyed… or hurt.

The rest of the dinner goes well. Frank is a delight to talk to, and slightly hints at being into the same things as you and Joel, which confuses you a bit, since you hadn't talked about being big cinema fans.

The next day, just as you're about to walk up to the front door of your house, you're stopped by Connie Adler, who's out walking with Mercy.

“Dear, I wanted to address a certain rumor I heard last night…” 

“Oh? What is it, Connie?”

She leans closer to your ear and whispers, “Can you believe it? Someone started saying that you and Joel are in a relationship.”

The blood drains from your face when you hear her say that, your brain goes on autopilot, afraid of what she might say if you agree.

“Haha… eh, that’s just stupid. You know we’re just best friends.” You smile nervously as she backs away, your brain leaving you hanging.

She talks to you for quite a while, but you can't really recall everything in detail by the time you walk through the front door. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess around the thing you just agreed to do. Cooper's bus still hasn't arrived, so it's just you and Joel at home.

“Joel… Connie might’ve pushed us into a bit of a… situation.” You begin, pursing your lips into a slit as you sit down at the kitchen table.

“What’s up?” He continues drying the dishes he was working on, leaning against the sink as he faces you. 

“She kind of set up a double date with two other women for us… Said that, it’s horrible that someone’s spreading rumors about us being gay when we’re living together out of necessity.”

He raises an eyebrow and sets the cup he was drying on the counter, draping the kitchen towel over his shoulder as he asks, “Did you agree to it?”

You frown and nod as you reply, “Yes… She backed me into a corner, I couldn’t say no. And maybe this could help people forget about it, and we can just go back to living life normally without worrying about people finding out?” 

He crosses his arms. “Ok. And what will you do if the women we go out with are actually interested in us romantically? Go home with them and fuck them?”

An embarrassed feeling spreads through your lower stomach as you think. “Maybe not go that far. If it does get to that point, we could go home with them and tell them we’re not ready for anything like that…”

“No. I hate the idea of you going home with some random woman.” Joel sounds wounded that you would even think that.

“I know. I’m also not too fond of you doing the same.” 

“Fine. That's settled. When is the double date?” His voice sounds pissed off that he was forced into this.

“Tonight… Don’t worry, I’ve already called Coop’s grandparents, and they can watch over him.”

“Tonight.” He states in a cold tone.

“Yeah, tonight.” You tilt your head to the side, confused by his reaction.

“You know what day it is, right?” 

You think for a second. 

Is it his birthday? 

No. That was last month. 

Maybe it’s Cooper’s. 

No, that already happened even longer ago. 

Your… anniversary? 

Your anniversary. 

It’s the anniversary of you confessing your true feelings to him.

The anniversary of you actually becoming an official couple in secret.

“Shit… Our anniversary…” “Yeah. Our anniversary.” 

“Shit – I’m so sorry –” You start, getting up from your chair to reach out for him.

“No. Leave it. Let’s get ready.” He leaves the kitchen without saying anything further.

You get ready at the same time, and after dropping Cooper off at his grandparents', you drive to the restaurant Mrs. Adler told you to meet at, the ride quiet and uncomfortable, your anxiety digging holes in your stomach.

You frown, still feeling how angry he is at the thought of someone else having you. The date actually goes alright. The two women, Dorothy and Jolene, seem really interesting. Dorothy has a heavy accent when she speaks, but that's normal for folks around here. She loves woodworking, and Jolene likes to spend time birdwatching.

You sit directly across from Jolene for the entire meal, her dark, long hair shining in the dim lights of the restaurant. Joel seems to be more quiet and avoids talking to you for most of the experience, but begins to strike up a friendly conversation with Dorothy, exchanging tips on how to carve different types of wood. You feel awful about this. You can feel how furious he is with you, it's the first time you've ever had a fight, and it's on your anniversary. He's been upset about things before, but never really about you, so it's anxiety-inducing, even with the current anxiety medication you're taking.

Just as you finish dessert, your stomach starts to churn, hoping they won't actually ask you to accompany them home. They ask to split the bill, and as you wait, the air between the four of you grows tense. Dorothy secretly whispers something to Jolene.

The surrounding chatter is drowned out by your pounding heart, your nerves unable to hold out much longer. So you decide to break the tension by asking the stupidest question you could have asked, “So, what would you ladies like to do after this?” 

You feel your whole body tense up, Joel's presence next to you getting more and more irritated.

“Nothing… But actually, there's something we need to tell you two. Don't take this the wrong way, you're both lovely guys, but you made us realize something important. We've decided to officially come out as lesbians. We're tired of all the lying and hiding from people.” As Jolene drops this information, a weight lifts from your chest.

The two women exchange a quick peck on the lips for all to witness. You sit there with a dumbfounded look on your face, but no one in the restaurant seems to think much of it. 

“We’re sorry, we should’ve told you before.” Jolene notes, smiling apologetically.

“N – No, you’re good.” You start, standing up from your seat. “You two probably want to spend some time alone, then.”

Dorothy chuckles, the rest of the group also getting up to leave. “Y’ain’t wrong. We just can’t go on like this anymore, y’see.” 

Joel is silent as the four of you leave the restaurant, following behind. You wish the women good luck for the future and wave goodbye.

Dorothy and Jolene head off, hand in hand, happy with their decision. You watch them, standing a short distance away from Joel, your mind just realizing that this is a possibility, to just come out and live a life together as a couple. A… gay couple? This is when you realize that you've never even posed this question to yourself in the past seven years that you've known Joel.

Am I gay?

Or bi?

Your eyes wander to Joel. He's standing there, hands in his pockets, watching them leave. He doesn't seem as angry as he did before. You can tell the gears in his head are turning, but so are yours.

“Joel.” The tone of your voice is a little jaded. “We should head back home.” 

He nods. The drive home is silent. You know Joel is still a little miffed that you asked what they'd like to do after dinner. 

The front door shuts smoothly behind you when you get home, Joel standing in front of you with his back to you.

The silence in the house is deafening. You should probably be picking up Cooper from his grandparents, but you exchange a quick glance with Joel that stops you in your tracks. Without saying a word, he pulls you into a tender kiss. You drop the jacket you were holding and reach for the hem of his shirt, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

With Cooper living with you, it has been a while since you had the house to yourselves. It's not that you minded. But not being able to exchange kisses and touches was getting old. Your tongue brushes the edge of his front teeth, his tongue trails after yours. He hastily unbuckles your pants, his fingers slipping into the waistband of your jeans and slowly pulling them down a fraction.

His arm wraps around your waist, holding you up as your knees buckle, the emotion so intense it makes you lose all your strength. He pulls away to meet your eyes, his face a shade redder, his mouth open as he breathes heavily from the kiss.

“I want you out of those clothes. Immediately.” He whispers. You nod and strip naked in front of him, your eyes darting between his eyes and lips.

“Good. Now turn around.” Joel’s eyes are dark. Not only from the intensity of the lust he's feeling for you right now, but also from how angry he was with you before. He unzips his pants and pulls out his semi-hard cock as you turn around.

“Gonna fuck those thighs. Squeeze ’em together.”

His big arms wrap around you, pulling your body close to his and enveloping you in a warmth you didn't know you were missing until now. You squeeze your legs together and feel his dick glide slowly between them, growing harder from the friction. A soft sigh leaves your lips at the feeling, his touches soft despite the rough skin on his fingers.

As you stand on the tips of your toes, his fingers slowly begin to play with your nipples, tugging them gently after rubbing his thumb over the small nub. All of this has made you extremely hard, and his panting breath close to your ear sends shivers down your spine.

Your cock aches to be caressed, to get some attention, but every time you try to reach for it, his hands stop you. You wish you could say you weren't thinking about anything else as he pushes his cock between your thighs, the head poking out the front under your sack, but your mind keeps spinning about the possibility that you might be gay.

Women are beautiful, some of them attractive to you, but you've never felt as intense of a love for them as you have for Joel. At the very beginning of this journey, your thoughts only revolved around this man who has kept you up at night since your first shared kiss.

“Fuck, Joel.” The air is pushed out of your lungs as his cock moves faster between your tightly pressed thighs, the pre-cum leaking from the front of his cock adding a little lubrication. Your erection twitches at the sensation of his length rubbing against your balls, stimulating you in just the right way. His chest and stomach are pressed against your back as you struggle a little to stand on your tiptoes.

“Hah… I can’t last much longer like this…” He gasps close to your ear, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he continues to thrust. His warm hands cling to you as yours search for something to hold onto. They grab for his arms, his hips, anything to ground you from this experience, but your mind goes blank, your moans leaving your mouth as unavoidable as breathing.

Until he stops, out of breath and still rock hard between your thighs. “Space Boy, I want to go a bit further…” 

You take a deep breath before looking at the clock on the living room wall. There should be enough time before you need to pick up Cooper. 

“Alright…”

The two of you having no patience to go upstairs and grab the bottle of lube, you once again opt for a fresh jar of coconut oil you bought to replace the old one. Since no one uses it for cooking, it's still sealed. For once, Joel doesn't waste much time stretching you out, impatiently rubbing his own cock as he goes. You're standing in the dark living room, your hands out in front of you to hold yourself up on the back of the couch.

You moan, also impatient, as his fingers slide in and out of your anus, stretching it faster than usual. Fortunately, it's not too painful, as you just relax as much as possible.

He soon pulls them out, leaving you feeling empty, and before he positions himself to slowly push inside you, he applies some more oil to make sure it's a smooth ride for both of you. Slowly, he fills you up, inch by inch. Moving in and out, he gets deeper, the head of his hardened cock brushing against your prostate after so long. Your grip on the couch back tightens as you muffle your moans by pressing your lips together, your eyes closed tightly as you focus on the sensation.

His thrusting begins to pick up speed after a while, his breathing mixed with an orchestra of breathy “hah”s. You can't hold in your moans any longer as they are forced out of you, mixed with the sounds of his heavy breathing and skin slapping against skin.

Joel grabs both of your wrists and pulls you by them as he thrusts into you, his movements rougher than what you are used to. You keep thinking about seeing Jolene and Dorothy holding hands in public, how confident they were. Until you can no longer think straight.

Your brain is slowly being pounded into mush as his cock hits your sweet spot over and over again, your gasps getting stuck in your throat. The only thought in your head is whether you're exclusively into men or not.

As you moan, you blurt out, “Joel, ah – are we gay?”

Joel slows down his thrusts, breathing heavily for a moment in silence, reflecting on what you've just asked him. It's like his brain needs time to buffer after being so close to an orgasm.

Stunned and confused, he asks, “Are you really asking me this while we’re… having sex?”

You blink as the haze in your brain clears. “I… am.” 

He snorts, his hand letting go of one of your wrists to hold it in front of his mouth. You turn your head to look at him. 

“Space Boy. You confessed your love to me. We've been living together for some years now. We can't keep our hands off each other whenever we're alone together. I can make you do these…” he thrusts into you, making you whine as his cock hits just the right spot, “… sounds with ease. What do you think?” 

You groan impatiently, waiting for him to move again, your mind spinning with lust. “Fuck… – hah – that I’m probably very gay.”

“Took you long enough to figure out.” He laughs, his hand reaching for the wrist he was holding before.

“Please… keep going then, I can’t take it anymore…” You whine.

He obliges and starts thrusting into you again, your head quickly reverting to an empty space. With heavy breaths, Joel's movements become more intense, each rub against your prostate drawing you closer to your orgasm.

“Fuck – hah – you’re so tight for me, Space Boy… You’re about to come, aren’t you?” A moan catches in his throat as he breathlessly speeds up his thrusts, the grip on your wrists increasingly tightening to keep you from slipping.

You hum in agreement with the question, unable to form words at this point, a jumble of moans and heavy breaths being the only thing your mouth is capable of producing. Your head bounces slightly with each thrust.

“Me too.” He puffs, his thrusts becoming erratic as the two of you reach your mind-clearing orgasm, the intense feeling of pleasure, love, and satisfaction sweeping over you in an instant. Your cock twitches as the last few spurts of cum run down the underside of it.

“A – Ah… are you still… mad at me?” You whimper as he pulls out of you and slowly lets go of your wrists. You feel his semen slowly flow out of you as you stand up straight on shaky legs, holding on to the couch when you're about to lose your balance.

He remains silent for a moment, his hands caressing your back as you feel his gaze fixed on your naked, twitching body.

“Maybe just a little bit.” After quickly cleaning up and allowing you to catch your breath, he picks you up, bridal style, which confuses you a small bit.

“Joel… I need to go get Coop.”

“Call Edith, tell her it might get late, and you’ll get him tomorrow. It’s our anniversary. Please.”

“Alright…”

He carries you to your shared bedroom, making sure to get your phone on the way.

When he gently lays you down on the bed and kisses your temple, you search for Edith's number on your phone, open her contact, but you don't press the call button yet, “Joel. Would you… be ready to come out and officially become a couple? Not just in secret?” 

“I’ve been waiting for you, actually… I’ve been ready to do so since I asked you to move in together.” He sits down by your side, watching your finger hover over the call button.

You hide your face in the palm of your hand and groan in embarrassment. “I thought you hated the idea of people knowing.” 

“Well, maybe we should talk about these things more openly…”

“Maybe.”

After a moment of silence, Joel opens his mouth again to ask something in a soft, vulnerable way, “If it becomes possible for the both of us to get married in the future… what would your stance on that be…?”

You turn your head to look at him, wide-eyed. 

“I just wanted to ask because of the divorce you went through.”

“Joel Miller. If we could get married tomorrow, I'd drag you to the church right now and wait until it opens to be the first to get married in the morning.” 

He smiles and looks down at your phone, giving you a small nod. “You can tell her.”

You nod and press call, holding the phone to your ear and listening to the dial tone. Edith answers after a few seconds.

“Edith, is it ok if Cooper stays with you tonight?”

“Oh, of course, dear. I assume the date is going well?” 

“Eh, it’s going better than expected, actually. The two women are actually a lesbian couple.”

“I… don’t understand?” 

“Well, they made me… us realize something. I should’ve been honest from the start.” You take a deep breath. “Edith, Joel and I are together. We've been, uh… secretly dating since 2006.” 

Edith laughs softly on the other end of the line. “Dear. We know.” 

You bite your lower lip and smile, hiding your face in the palm of your hand. “Were we really that obvious?” 

“It's hard to hide when you're truly in love with someone.”

You chuckle and nod, “Mhm.”

“Well, don’t worry. Cooper will stay here for tonight. Say hello to Joel from us and enjoy your time together.”

“Thank you, Edith. See you tomorrow.” 

“Good night, sweetheart.” 

You set the phone down and turn to Joel, who is playing with a button on his shirt.

“I guess we’re official now, huh?” He asks, reaching for your hand. You nod and pull him in for a kiss that starts out sweet but quickly turns intense, your hands undressing him so he can finally join in on the birthday suit.

The rest of the night turns into a night of heated passion shared between your bodies, the kisses, and touches you exchange hot enough to rival burning lava.

The next time you see Connie, she’s chatting with Denise on the sidewalk. 

You go up to them and thank Connie for the date she set up. You tell them that the rumors about you and Joel were indeed true, and that the two of you have finally decided to let people know about it. Connie seems a bit taken aback at first. It might just be the initial shock of hearing this come out of your mouth, but she quickly warms up to the idea of you two being together since she has known you for so long.

Word spreads quickly, and soon everyone in the neighborhood knows about the new couple. Some people are genuinely happy for you two, only a handful of people start to avoid talking to you both, but that's probably for the best.

Frank points out that he knew you two were dating from the first time he saw you, and that the last time you spoke, he was referring to being into men. This leads you to believe that he was the one who started the rumor in the first place. But you don't hold it against him. In fact, you're glad he did.

Joel and you don't really change the way you act, you just feel comfortable staying the way you are around each other, but you are finally able to kiss and hold hands when you feel like it.

The years pass.

You and Joel raise Cooper as your own, going through thick and thin together. You still make sure to visit Bridget. She's become a good friend of yours again, and she's warming up to Joel, too, after making an effort to get to know him, her prejudices, views and disgust with same-sex couples changing over the years.

Cooper is a little rock star. He picks up the guitar after hearing Joel practice and joins the school band. Sarah and Rosa successfully graduate and move back to Austin with their boyfriends, living in a nearby apartment complex.

Around June 2015, you hear some news about the Supreme Court considering overturning the nation's ban on same-sex marriage. It's a topic you begin to follow closely on a daily basis, being careful to do so in secret because of your plan. You'd bought an engagement ring for Joel some time ago and were hoping to finally propose.

On the 26th, the fantastic news finally reaches your ears while you're at work. You drive home as quickly as possible after work and mentally prepare yourself as you retrieve the box containing the ring from its hiding place. Cooper's gone to a friend's house after school, so you can finally do what you've been waiting to do for so long.

You pace up and down the kitchen, trying to figure out how to propose to Joel. Your heart is racing in your chest like crazy as you rehearse what you want to say to him.

Joel, these past 12 years with you have been amazing. 

And today is a very special day. 

I wanted to ask you something very important. 

Joel Miller. 

Will you marry me?

As you repeat this for the seventh time, you hear the front door open and almost drop the box. You stop and listen to see who just got home.

“Space Boy! Space Boy? Are you home?” Joel sounds like he's in a rush as he calls out to you.

“Eh – Yep! I'm in the kitchen. Welcome home, Joel!” You take a deep breath and listen, expecting to hear him coming your way, but it doesn't happen. Instead, you hear nervous fumbling and Joel cursing under his breath through the door. 

You slowly open the kitchen door and look into the living room to see Joel standing by the couch with one hand behind his back and the other resting on the couch. He looks at you, almost sweating like a sinner in church.

“Joel? Are you alright there?” You frown, tilting your head to the side as you ask.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I’m all good.” He swiftly replies, visibly nervous. You smile and press your lips together, trying to hold back a grin. With the box in your hand, you keep it hidden behind your back.

“Actually, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” He mumbles, scratching the back of his head with his other hand.

You walk over to him, watching his expression. He gets down on one knee once you're in front of him, his knees cracking audibly. You simply join him on the ground, making the same movement at the same time.

The both of you are just down on one knee in front of each other. 

Each holding a box in one hand. 

“Will – Huh – Wait, what?” He blinks, dumbfounded that this isn't going according to the script he'd made up in his head, while he opens the box in his hand for you to see a beautiful yet simple ring inside.

You laugh as you open your box in return to show him the engagement ring you bought for him. A smile spreads throughout his face as he begins to crack up as well. Once you both have calmed down enough, he gently takes your free hand.

“Will you… Will you marry me?” He asks, staring deep into your eyes. 

“Yes, Joel. Will you marry me?” You taunt him, squeezing his hand slightly. 

He chuckles and nods before kissing your lips softly. 

“We really are just a couple of idiots, aren’t we?” You ask, giggling as you exchange engagement rings. Your hands tremble as you slide yours onto his finger, the excitement rushing through your body. He's no better, his hands shaking too, almost dropping the ring as he takes it out of the box.

“We’re two idiots in love.” He smiles, about to give you another kiss, but you are interrupted when both your phones go off at the same time. You take your phone out of your pocket and swipe over the glass to answer Rosa's call.

“Dad?! When’s the wedding?!” Rosa’s voice is excited when you hold the phone to your ear. You hear a similar question coming from Joel's phone, so you just laugh as you stand up with him.

“Hello, Star.” 

“There’s no time for pleasantries! You did hear what happened, right?” She asks impatiently.

“I did. We… we sorta just proposed to each other a few seconds ago. Both at the same time.”

“WHAT! OH MY GOD!”

Her reaction makes you laugh. 

“Don’t worry, we said yes.” 

“I – I! JEREMY!” She shouts a distance away from the phone. You look at Joel, who is also busy trying to talk to an enthusiastic Sarah. He's holding back a laugh as your daughters freak out on the other end of the line.

Rosa hangs up without saying goodbye, as does Sarah. 

“They’re coming over, aren’t they?” Joel asks as he shoves his phone into his front pocket.

“I’ll go prepare the tea.” You nod as you reply. 

“Wait.” He pulls your arm and presses his lips to yours. His hands cradle your face as you kiss, a happy warmth spreading through your entire body. Your old knees feel weak as you hold on to him.

“Now you can go.” He whispers after he pulls away.

“Jesus, Joel. I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” He holds up the hand with the engagement ring, wiggling his fingers. “We’re getting married.” 

You smile before making your way to the kitchen. The house buzzes with energy as your daughters arrive with their respective partners. Cooper comes home not too long after they arrive and is confused as to why everyone is freaking out. You tell him what happened, and he has a watered down version of Rosa's reaction, excited that his dads are finally getting married.

The wedding planning doesn't take all that long. You've waited so long for this day that you just want to get to it as soon as possible. You get married at your local church, and the new pastor, Pastor Gabriel, is very accepting and positive about this change. You take Joel's last name, Rosa and Cooper are excited to change their last names to Miller as well.

There are a handful of guests you invite to your wedding. You don't want the whole thing to be too big. After the ceremony, you have a small garden party, Tommy has set up a nice looking canopy in the backyard. Connie and Maria prepared a delicious meal for everyone. Your daughters are in charge of the cake and go out of their way to find a cake topper with two men and paint it to look like you two.

As you get to the toast of the evening, you look around and see the faces of the people you've come to love and care about. You sit next to Joel at a table that faces everyone. Rosa, Sarah, Cooper, Jeremy, and Ethan sit together at the table closest to you. Tommy, Maria, Denise, and her family are at the table next to them. Frank is sitting next to his new boyfriend, Bill, at the same table as Dorothy and Jolene. And finally, Edith, John, Connie, and Danny are seated together.

Rosa and Sarah stand up when it's time for the toast. They pull out a projector to beam something onto the flattest part of the house. You're slightly tipsy by this point, holding Joel's hand in yours, your finger playing with his wedding ring.

“Dear everyone. We’re gathered here today to celebrate our Dads finally getting married.” Sarah starts as the projector shows the words “Mr. & Mr. Miller”.

“Even though they've 'only' known each other for 12 years, it feels like they've been together forever. And we just wanted to show our appreciation to you, dear Dads, by sharing our most treasured moments with you.”

You watch as the projection changes to a video where they've pieced together pictures to a heartfelt song. You can feel the tears starting to well up as the first picture is the one they took of you and Joel on the couch the night after you beat up that guy named Kyle. 

The next image is of you and Joel at the Santana concert, both of you visibly younger and a little awkward around each other, not knowing how to act. 

Then it changes to a picture of the whole family, including Jeremy and Ethan, dressed up for Halloween. Cooper requested to dress up as characters from his favorite show, so he was dressed in a little platypus outfit, dressed as Agent Perry from the show Phineas and Ferb. You were dressed as Major Monogram, Joel as Dr. Doofenschmirz, Rosa as Candace, Sarah as Vanessa, Ethan as Ferb and Jeremy as… well, Jeremy.

It continues with images of a camping trip you took, highlighting the good times you had with your little family.

The video ends with you and Joel together at a pride parade, next to Rosa, Sarah, and Cooper, holding up a sign that says, “I love my gay Dads!”

You're sobbing by the end, with Joel squeezing your hand as you exchange a quick look.

“Thank you for these wonderful years. We love you.” Rosa makes a heart shape with her hands.

“We love you lots. But. We need to add one more thing.” Sarah holds her hand to her chest as a small, mischievous smile spreads across her face.

“We do indeed, Sarah. Did you know that they used to be roommates?”

“Oh my God, they were roommates.” 

Rosa and Sarah's table along with Denise's kids burst out into laughter, leaving everyone older than them confused as to why it's so funny, until the projector shows a short video of exactly what they just said.

Joel cracks up and lets out a hearty laugh, “Good one!” 

You blink, now chuckling a little from the added context.

The rest of the evening remains magical, everyone seems to get along. It ends with a long round of karaoke. By the time you and Joel get up to sing, most of the guests have left to go to bed, so you choose a slow, romantic song, mostly just singing to each other, enjoying the time together.

When you finally get to bed, Joel and you are so drunk. He pulls you into bed by grabbing the fabric of your suit jacket. After you land on him, you push yourself up a little to look down at the man.

“Hey there, handsome…” You slur your words as you speak, your hand reaching for Joel's tie to loosen it slightly. Every movement either of you make is languid.

“Hi.” His smile is so big that his eyes half close. You slowly place kisses on his neck once the tie is loose, but your body feels so heavy and tired that you end up resting your head on his chest.

“I don’t think…” You yawn as Joel slowly caresses your back. “I… can stay awake…” 

“Mm… me neither.” He speaks softly, his breathing slow and deep as you listen. 

You both fall asleep in an instant, enjoying the comfort of each other.

The next day you leave for your honeymoon, Cooper stays with his grandparents while you're gone. The destination is a small cabin in the mountains, that's situated right next to a lake. It's a quiet and remote place, so you'll have it all to yourselves. The hangover is a touch heavy in the morning, so the first thing you both do is take an aspirin and drink lots of water.

You arrive at your destination late in the afternoon, the sun has already set, a warm orange color in the sky that is slowly turning darker by the second. By now, you both feel much better. The air is still warm. Joel stops the truck and gets out, walking around to take in the view of the surrounding mountains. You get out too, smiling from ear to ear, and take a deep breath.

The journey had been hot in the late summer sun, so a dip in the clear lake was the perfect way to cool off. With a grin, you turn to Joel and say, “Last one in the water.” 

You start running towards it, stripping off all of your clothes and jumping into the water completely naked. Joel follows a few seconds later, splashing you with water as he cannonballs into the lake.

You splash some water back at him as he emerges, chuckling when he does the same, until he pulls you in for a brief kiss. His hands hold onto your arms for a moment. You kiss him again for longer, humming.

Joel pulls away after a minute and looks up at the sky, his face lighting up at the sight. You lean back and float in the water, also looking up at the sky. Joel swims close to you and joins you.

“This is wonderful…” You exhale. The sky turns dark, the stars appearing one by one. The water is still quite warm from the sun shining on it all day.

“Look, Space Boy! A shooting star!” He points to the sky, and there it is. A shooting star drawing a line across the sky. You wish for something. The stars reflect off the surface of the water, and it feels like you're floating in space together.

As you watch the sky together, you see one or two more shooting stars, each drawing a gasp from both of you.

But the water is rapidly getting colder.

“We should go inside, start up a fire in the fireplace.” You mutter, shivering somewhat as you stand in the water, your feet touching the floor of the lake.

“Yeah, let’s get going.”

You walk out of the lake and grab your clothes on the way to the cabin. Joel gets all the bags from the truck and follows you inside. After a quick shower to wash off the sweat of the day along with the lake water, you grab some bathrobes and throw them on. Joel lights the fire in the fireplace.

The cabin is quite spacious, with a separate bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. You sit with Joel on the rug in front of the open fireplace and open a bottle of champagne that the owner left to congratulate you.

“To us.” He holds up his glass, the golden, bubbly liquid swirling inside. He's lying on his side, his elbow propping up his torso. His hair, still wet from the shower, glistens in the light. The room is filled with a warm light from the fire, slowly warming your bodies.

“To us.” The glasses clink against each other, and you take a sip, enjoying the sparkling drink. You lie on your back, closing your eyes for a second.

“This is surreal. We’re really… on our honeymoon.” You say, taking another sip. He chuckles and shifts next to you, still needing a break from the long ride you've just had. The fire crackles beautifully in the fireplace, filling the room with a cozy warmth.

“We are.” He takes a deep breath, inhaling the warm scent of the burning fire mixed with the scent of the wood in the cabin. He rolls onto his side again to look at you, his thin tall glass now empty.

“Want a refill on that champagne?” 

“Oh, sure.” You lift your head and finish your glass, handing the now empty tall champagne glass back to him.

You turn your head to look at him, still on your back. The robe splits at the top of his chest, providing you with a glimpse. His chest is covered with hair, some of it gray. The warm fire illuminates his silhouette as he pours more of the sparkling liquid into your glasses.

“You’re staring, Space Boy.” He smirks as he hands you the glass. 

“And? Am I not allowed to stare at my beautiful husband?” 

“Only if I’m allowed to do the same.”

“You are.” You take the glass and drink. You stare at each other for a while longer. Joel's hand plays with the belt that's tied at the front of your robe. 

“Joel… what did you wish for? When we saw the shooting star, I mean.”

“Hm, I’m not allowed to tell you.” 

You roll your eyes as you turn to the side. “Well, I wished for a long, happy life together with you and our family.” 

His eyes dart between your eyes, lips, and shoulder as he smiles, “I’ll be. I wished for the exact same thing.” 

You finish your second glass of champagne, staring into his eyes. He's almost undressing you with his eyes at this point, the robe sliding slightly off your shoulder as you set the glass in front of him.

“I’d like another refill.” You whisper. And seconds later, your glass is replenished. Joel pours the rest of the bottle into his own glass. His hand, which had been toying with the belt around your waist, has moved up under the cloth, his hand absentmindedly caressing your hip.

Your chest is filled with adoration as you share this quiet moment together. You lean forward to give Joel a soft peck on the lips. His hand pulls you closer as he stares at your lips, waiting for another kiss. You listen to his soft breathing.

With a grin, you inch closer to his face, only to bring your glass to your lips to drink everything he's just poured in one gulp. He watches you lick your lips, his eyes turning darker from the tension that is brewing between the two of you.

He pulls his hand out from under your robe, reaching for your chin to pull you in for a deeper kiss. You slide the glass aside, your hands finally caressing his bare skin as you slip them under the front of his robe. Your fingers run down the skin of his chest to rest on his side, the movement opening the front of his robe a little more. 

Your tongues rub against each other, tenderly, slowly, the taste of champagne lingering in your mouths. Neither of you are in a hurry. You have an entire week to spend here together. He stares into your eyes when he pulls away, your breathing growing heavier.

“Why don’t we get out of these robes?” He whispers, tugging lightly at one end of the belt that does its best to keep the cloth wrapped around you together.

“No… I think you look really sexy in it.” You hold your hand over his, preventing him from untying the knot. He thinks for a second before letting go of the belt and rolling over to lie on top of you, propping himself up on his forearm 

“I might need to agree with you there. You don't look too bad in yours, either.” His eyes roam up and down your body. You roll your eyes at the comment and rest your arms on his shoulders, crossing them at the wrists.

“Actually, I need to correct myself there. You look amazing. Like a present I can’t wait to unwrap.” He whispers with a slight curl of his upper lip as his hand slides up your thigh, sending a hot shiver down your spine. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, the moment and his scent surrounding you making you gradually erect. His calloused fingers caress your inner thigh, pushing your legs further apart.

His lips kiss your cheek, the tip of your nose, along your jawline, down to your neck. You gasp at each loving kiss and caress. His hand slides under your leg, pulling it up as he grinds his hardened cock against yours, its hardness feeling wonderful as it slides against you, the robes split at your hips due to the position.

Breathy whispers of affection leave your lips as his kisses turn to soft bites and licks that leave a tingle of pleasure under the surface of your skin, making your need for him grow.

“Fuck, Joel… Love you so much – hah – so much…” 

He moves to kiss the spot behind your ear as you turn your head to the side, your mind spinning from the sensual feel of his relentless grinding.

“I love you too, Space Boy…” In a breathy whisper, he responds, his hip pressing harder against you as his rubs become more intense, more needy. Your cock twitches against his as pre-cum leaks from the tip.

You tilt your head back to face him, pulling him into a passionate kiss as Joel reaches for the lube on the tray of complimentary items next to the soft carpet you're lying on. He takes his time with you, nipping softly at your lower lip and tugging playfully. 

He shifts to press his hip against your thigh, lifting your other leg and angling it so that the sole of your foot touches the floor. Your lips are red and slightly swollen by the time his finger presses against your anus, eliciting a soft moan.

He curls it each time he pushes it inside you, your hands gripping the robe on his shoulder as he goes at it for what seems like an eternity, until he finally spreads your anus wider and inserts a second finger.

Your slightly tipsy mind still can't believe you're here with him, being caressed, touched and kissed as newlyweds. It still feels like a dream you're too scared to wake up from. The tip of his middle finger curls and presses against your prostate, sending a shattering pleasure through your entire body. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close, his face pressed lightly against your shoulder as you moan close to his ear. 

His muffled voice speaks to you, “That’s it… Let me hear you, honey…” Kisses are pressed against your shoulder. By now, your robe has slipped completely off your shoulders, the sleeves only covering your forearms as the cloth gathers at the inside of your elbow.

Every lengthy moan that comes out of you makes his cock throb against your thigh, his hips moving slowly to get some friction as he finally stretches your hole enough. Your fingers run through his slightly damp hair, yanking slightly to get a breathy grunt out of him. He loves it when you pull his hair.

“Hah, Joel… Please… I want to kiss you.” You pant as he keeps fingering your hole, the lube slowly drying up from how long he's been dragging this out. He pulls his fingers out of you, and you manage to roll the two of you over so that he is underneath you.

You lean down to plant hot kisses on his lips, his hands feeling up your thighs, grabbing your butt under the robe that now only covers your waist. Your tongue licks over his collarbone before you suck on a softer part of his shoulder, leaving a faint mark. With one hand still on your ass, he slides his cock between your cheeks with his other hand. He doesn't push inside you, using both hands to press your cheeks together as he moves his hips, his cock sandwiched between your cheeks.

A soft moan leaves his mouth as you move your hips along with his slow thrusts. You want to reach for the bottle of lube, but you restrain yourself and let Joel enjoy the experience a little longer. He's got his eyes closed as he lies beneath you, his brow furrowed as his breathing gets heavier with each slow thrust.

“So fucking good… you look so handsome.” You whisper close to his ear before planting your lips against his neck, sucking lightly at his skin to mark him as yours.

“Jesus, Space Boy… You’re gonna –  hah –  gonna make me come before we even get started –” A breathy moan reaches your ears. You're enjoying this so much. He fights the urge to continue by lifting his hands from your cheeks and rubbing them up your sides until they stop under the waistband of the robe.

“Don’t worry.” You finally reach for the bottle of lube and shift back so you can apply it to his erection, which is twitching in your hand. “We can move on to the best part…”

He looks at you with big, loving eyes as you insert him, your brow furrowing at the slight pain, which fortunately subsides quickly. You stop when he's inside all the way, and you press your hand against his chest, trying to calm your breathing before proceeding.

“So hot, so good… so handsome.” His voice almost sounds like a growl as he whispers, his hand reaching out to cup your face. You lean down to give him a kiss, making sure you keep him deep inside you. There's no need to move, you simply enjoy being filled for the moment. He'd been inches away from his orgasm before, so he probably needs a breather anyway. 

Or so you thought. His hands move down to hold your hips as he thrusts up into you. You gasp against his lips, opening your eyes halfway to look at his desperate face. 

“Jo – oel…” You push yourself up, pressing your hands against his chest, his hips still moving to thrust into you. His legs are bent up behind you, so you hold onto his knees as you bounce in the rhythm he started. Your moans get stuck in your throat, the feeling unbearable. 

“It feels so good to love you… Hah…” He stops moving himself, his gasping breath heavy. You move more slowly, choosing your own pace. His hands caress your inner thighs for a brief moment, until he wraps one of them around your cock, which had been bouncing up and down along with you. 

“Mh – Jesus.” You gasp, biting your lower lip as you close your eyes. Joel is watching your every move, you can feel his gaze on you. He loves to watch you become an absolute mess, your hole getting tighter and tighter the closer you get to your orgasm.

You speed things up, circling your hips from time to time to try to get a break from the overwhelming feeling of his dick drilling into your sweet spot. His hand, wrapped tightly around your cock, moves painfully slowly. Sometimes he strokes his thumb over the head, spreading the leaking pre-cum all over it.

It's the best feeling ever, the two of you slowly losing your minds together as you inch towards your impending orgasms. The air is filled with pants, moans and hushed whispers from both of you.

You stop for a second, trying to catch your breath and not come too early, but Joel just sits up and wraps his arms around your waist, cupping your ass to bounce you faster on his dick.

“Hah… I’m so close, please don’t drag this out so long.” His voice is hushed and filled with a rush to get you to come as well. You hum and moan as you wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your face into it. The knot on the belt around your waist finally comes undone. The robe now hangs only on your forearms, the rest of the cloth draped over your lower back.

His cock is constantly brushing against or full-on hitting your sweet spot, and you can't take it much longer. Your vision goes white as you reach your orgasm, painting both your stomachs with your ejaculate, your body tensing around him as he releases inside you at the same time. His moans and heavy breaths are close to your ear, your own sounds muffled as you keep your face pressed into the arm that's wrapped around his neck.

“I love you so much, Space Boy.” He softly whispers as he breathes heavily, caressing your head and back as he kisses the side of your head.

“I love you, too.” You answer muffled, still holding on tightly, not wanting to let him go. It's finally the way it should be as you share this embrace. It all started with a vengeful kiss, only to blossom into a beautiful relationship.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

oh my god IM CRYING SO HARRRRRRD

there couldnt have been a better ending to this series, this is all so BEAUTIFUL im FCKING SOBBING

go check this masterpiece creators other fics, he makes pure art

i swear if i got a dollar for every time this man makes me cry with his writing skills, id be able to buy a house of my own :')

ly ted

Lying eyes – Part 4

You're faced with a big decision. Will you adopt the love child of your ex-wife and Pastor Jorge? And what comes next?

This is the final part of "Lying Eyes". I hope y'all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading! <3

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 17k words

Warnings: Young!Joel Miller, SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, fic takes place in late 2000s and early to mid 2010s, non-outbreak AU, reader is married and has a daughter, top! Joel Miller, bot! Reader, no use of Y/N

To part 1 — To part 2 — To part 3 — To part 4

“Hi, Edith. It's me. I've been thinking a lot about what you asked me, and I've made up my mind.” Joel gently caresses your arm as you speak on the phone.

“Oh, hi, dear! I was just about to call you. What have you decided?”

“I… I’ll gladly accept. Rosa is going to college next year, so I'll have plenty of time to raise another kid.”

“Are you sure, dear? I know Bridget’s been mean to you in the past and since the kid… well isn’t yours  –”

“That doesn’t matter. He’s still Rosa’s brother. And I won’t hold that against him.”

“You’re such a sweetheart. I’ll tell Bridget. You should hear from someone within a month. But please let us know if you need any help. We'll be happy to help if you need it.”

“Thank you, Edith. I appreciate it. A lot.” You smile to yourself as you hang up after saying your goodbyes. 

Joel wraps his arms around you and kisses your head. “You’re gonna be a dad again…” 

You chuckle and look up at him after putting the phone down on the bedside table. “It’s all thanks to you.”

He looks up at the ceiling with a squint in his eyes and thinks, “I’m not sure what part I had in this, if any, but you’re welcome.” He turns back to you and smiles gently. 

An idea hits you. You stare at him with a cocky smile, like you're about to tell the worst joke known to mankind. His eyes narrow when he sees this, already dreading what's going to come out of your mouth next.

With an over-the-top gasp, you joke, “Oh my God, Joel. It finally happened. You fucked me so good, that you got me pregnant. I’m having the baby latest next month.” 

He rolls his eyes as he unsuccessfully tries to hide a laugh, his fingers rubbing across his forehead. “You’re so goddamn stupid sometimes, Jesus.”

“Hey! You know you love me.” You stick out your tongue a bit.

“You’re not wrong. I do love you.” He squeezes your cheeks together, so your lips stick out. “I’ll make sure to visit you and our kid often, then.” 

You smile softly and look at him with an enamored gaze.

His chest sinks and rises with a deep breath before his hand, already holding your face, pulls your head up slightly to kiss your lips. “If you keep looking at me like that, we’ll have to go for another round.”

You groan as you squeeze your eyes shut, still sore from last night. “I don’t think I can… We’ve been at it all night…” 

“We don’t have to go all the way, Space Boy.” He chuckles before rolling over to lie on top of you, his mouth leaving soft kisses over the marks on your neck from the night before. You take a deep breath and roll your eyes.

“Fuck… Alright.” A heat spreads through your body, his fingers brushing over your bare skin, pleasantly rough.

“Yeah, talk to me. What do you want me to do?” He whispers before kissing the spot behind your ear. 

“Mh… I want you to…” You think about it for a second before continuing, “play with my nipples… Please.” 

He makes his way down to your chest, brushing his thumb over your right nipple before licking the protruding lump and placing his mouth all over it, sucking gently. His tongue repeatedly teases it as his other hand pulls on your left nipple, sending a ticklish sensation down to your crotch that feels both pleasant and unfamiliar at the same time.

You hum as you slowly grow hard and squirm under him. 

“Mm, what else?” His voice is muffled as he keeps his mouth on your skin.

“Hah… please touch me –“ A soft moan gets stuck in your throat as he flicks the nipple he'd just sucked.

He raises an eyebrow before looking up at you, a grin plastered on his face. “Touch you where?”

You furrow your brow and cover your face with your hands before muttering, “Everywhere… please…”

“Hm? I can’t hear you like that.” 

“For fuck's sake, Joel Miller. I said, touch me everywhere, please.” You groan in frustration and take your hands off your mouth so he can hear you loud and clear, but you keep them over your eyes.

His hot mouth travels down your abdomen to kiss the spot just below your belly button, his hand caressing and squeezing various parts of your upper body. The rough calluses on his fingertips scratch your skin in a pleasant way.

His mouth sucks on the part of skin on your hip, leaving behind a mark. You gasp at each delicate touch. Your fingers press gently against your eyes, bringing out a static in the darkness.

He moves his hands lower, rubbing your inner thigh, spreading your legs apart. His mouth leaves marks from your hip all the way down to your inner thigh. You can feel his breath against your skin when he pauses. Finally, you remove your hands from your face and prop yourself up on your elbows, looking down at him. 

His gaze meets yours with a lustful look, his eyes darkened by his dilated pupils.

“What else would you like me to do?” As he asks this, you notice that he gently grinds against the mattress of the bed. His face is a shade redder than usual. He pants softly, his eyes half closed.

You gulp at the sight before nervously replying, “Please suck me off…” 

A smile spreads across his face. “Very good, Space Boy.”

Your heart flutters as you watch him hold your cock by the base, his tongue licking the underside until it reaches the slit at the tip, where he laps up the pre-cum leaking from it. You close your eyes as you lie back down, moaning softly at the sensation.

His other hand begins to play with your balls, gently caressing and squeezing them as his mouth wraps around your cock, a wet, hot sensation enveloping it.

A prolonged moan escapes your lips as you reach for the curls on his head, your fingers sliding between the strands as you pull gently. Joel hums at the feeling, sending vibrations through your cock as he takes in more of your length, the head of it pressing against the top of his palate.

You shudder at the sensation, your breathing getting heavier as he goes, his tongue skillfully rubbing against your shaft, pushing you closer to release.

“Ah… Joel – feels so good… I’m so close. Wanna come in your mouth…” You move your hips slowly, moaning as you look down at him. He's got his eyes closed, his lashes long and beautiful, as his cheeks are hollowed out from sucking.

This sight quickly sends you over the edge as you thrust gently a few more times. Your fingers pull his hair a little harder as you reach your orgasm and ejaculate into his mouth.

“So good – hah – swallow it all…” With lidded eyes, you watch him do so, his mouth still wrapped around the head of your dick to keep from spilling any of your come. He breathes heavily once he finally pulls his lips off your cock, some spit running down the side of his mouth.

Once you catch your breath, it's your turn to help him out. He's been humping against the mattress all along, a small wet patch forming where he's been doing it. He rests his forehead against your hip bone as he keeps going, soft gasps emerging from his mouth. You want to continue watching him like this, all desperate, but you also want to make him feel good.

“Come here, it’s your turn now.” You pull him up to lie with his head on the pillows and kiss him. The taste of yourself on his tongue makes your head spin. When you pull away from the kiss, you smile at him.

“Gonna need you to suck me off, too…” He whispers, his cock throbbing with excitement as it weeps with pre-cum.

You nod and crawl lower down on the bed so that your face is close to his crotch. You wrap your hand around his dick, slowly rubbing it up and down as you watch his face. He's watching you through his eyelashes, his brow furrowed and his mouth agape as he gasps from finally being touched.

He feels so hard in your hand, his cock throbbing as you tighten your grip, sending a hot flush through your body. You lick the slit, tasting the salty liquid that oozes from it, before wrapping your lips around the head and rubbing your tongue around it.

“That’s it… You’re doing so good…” A content sigh escapes his lips as he closes his eyes and rests his head back on the pillow. You hum as you keep sucking on the tip, your hand rubbing the thick length of his shaft. You can feel every little twitch it makes in your mouth and hand. His body is hot under your touch, his chest heaving as each stroke and lick sends waves of pleasure into his head.

You take your sweet time with him, slowing your movements as you watch him laid out before you. His brow furrows, a frustrated grunt escaping his lips as he thrusts into your hand before complaining, “Stop teasing me, please… I’m losing – hah – my mind…” 

With a chuckle, you pull the head of his cock out of your mouth and rub it faster in your tight fist. “Sorry, I was having fun. And it didn’t look like you were hating it.”

“I wasn’t, but it was getting too much.” His face relaxes as you speed things up with your hand.

“Tell me what you need.” You can't bring your eyes away from him as you stroke his cock from base to tip, sometimes circling the head with your closed fist.

“Your mouth…” He breathes, completely lost in the sensation. Not wanting to torture him any further, you wrap your lips around his cock again, now taking in more of its length as you rub the base of it with your hand. You hollow out your cheeks as you keep sucking, your tongue pressing and rubbing against the underside of his cock. You can feel the veins against your tongue.

Closing your eyes, you continue, the sounds lewd and, frankly, a little embarrassing. Joel's breathing gets heavier as he gets closer to his orgasm, his breath hitching at times. His hands rest on your head.

“Jesus, Space Boy… I’m so close, you’re taking me so well…” He moans softly, his hips thrusting upwards gently. You feel his cock twitching and getting hotter, your head bobbing faster and faster to bring him over the edge. Gasps fill the air as he reaches his climax, praise just pouring out of him, making your ears burn as you swallow the hot, salty streams of ejaculate shooting into your mouth.

As he tries to catch his breath, you open your eyes to look up at him. You lift your head a little and run your tongue around the folds just below the head of his cock. He watches you with lidded eyes, his mouth hanging open as he gasps, probably a little overstimulated. His muscles quiver a little until you remove his entire length from your mouth.

You breathe heavily as you look at him. “Sorry if that was a bit much…”

“It was perfect. Don’t apologize.” He blinks as you pull the blanket up to cover both of you. You rest your head on his chest, listening to his accelerated heartbeat as it slows to a gentle resting rhythm.

Rosa and Sarah return a few days later, and you want to share the news about her baby brother with your daughter. You knock on her bedroom door after she's had time to settle in after being gone all week.

”Can I come in?” You ask through the door, waiting for her answer.

”Come in, Dad!” 

You step into the room. Rosa is sitting at her desk, closing the journal she was writing in, when she turns her head to look at you.

“Star, I have some news.” You begin, crossing your arms as you lean against the door frame.

“Oh? Are you and Joel finally moving in together and telling everyone that you’re an old married couple?” She teases, raising an eyebrow. 

“Eh – no, I don’t think that’s the best thing to do right now… Anyway, your little brother’s coming to live with us. I’m officially adopting him.”

“What!” She slams her palms on the desk and stands up, her chair rolling back from the momentum. “That’s so cool! Aw, but I’m leaving next year!” 

You chuckle at her reaction. “Well, you better make that time count then. Don’t worry, though, we’ll be here, so you can visit any time.” 

She smiles happily and nods. “I will. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. Sarah and I have been invited to this birthday party and I wanted to ask –“

The girls go to the party they've been invited to this week, making sure to take their phones with them in case something happens, and they leave the address written on a piece of paper. You aren’t too thrilled about it, since it’s the popular kid’s place and Rosa had told you about their parties before.

It's not uncommon for people to randomly show up at a larger house party, since there are so many people already there that everyone ignores a few more people who join in. You've made sure to tell them that you won't get mad if they have something to drink or do something they're not proud of, as long as they call you when they need you. The most important thing for you and Joel is that they're honest and safe.

You're watching TV with Joel, his head resting on your shoulder, but you can feel yourself starting to nod off, the feeling of sitting beside him like this totally relaxing you. It's getting pretty late. You just want to stay awake until they get home. The show that's on is so mind-numbingly dumb, but Joel has zapped through so many channels that had much worse on at that time.

Sure, there are other ways the two of you could spend time together, but you don't want to start something that you'll have to stop immediately when the need arises.

You're just about to fall asleep when you're woken up by your mobile phone ringing loudly.

Joel sits up a little so you can quickly reach for the phone. You answer the call and hold it to your ear. The distant sound of background chatter and loud noise comes through the speaker before your daughter's voice begins to talk.

“Dad? Could you and Joel come pick us up, please? There is this creepy guy who won’t leave us alone… He keeps following us around saying he’s 21, but some girls told us he’s actually 30, and we don’t feel safe at all.”

“We’ll be on our way. Go outside in a couple of minutes but don’t leave the property and make sure there’s other people around.” You hang up and slip your phone into your pocket before getting off the couch. Joel looks up at you with a questioning look.

“Joel, get in the car, our girls need us.” You gather your wallet from the couch table and stuff it into your back pocket.

“On it.” He gets up from the couch as well and walks out, getting into the driver's side of the car. You grab the piece of paper with the address of the house they're at.

Joel drives the car to a house a few blocks away, where a bunch of people are spread out in groups in the front yard. One of these “groups” is your daughters and an older looking man who is pushing them into a corner just by getting uncomfortably close to them. The music is loud, even though it's coming from inside the house. The front lawn is littered with red Solo cups that probably weren't used for apple juice.

Without hesitation, you get out of the car and swiftly step up to them, grabbing the man's shoulder and pulling him away from them with a force you didn't know you had. “Excuse me. I’m gonna have to interrupt this.” 

“What the hell, man? I saw them first. Fuck off.”

You push him aside, and he stumbles backwards a bit, but fortunately doesn't fall over. He reeks of alcohol and cheap cologne. You decide not to react to his remark, your priority is to make sure the girls get home safely.

“Dad!” Rosa's panicked face relaxes when she sees you, she grabs Sarah's arm, who's also in distress, and walks towards you to hide from the other man. You touch their arms lightly and nod once, making sure they know you're here now.

“You two get in the truck, Joel’s waiting inside.” You gently push them in front of you until you reach the truck. By now, most of the people standing outside have either gone inside or left because you two showed up, so you desperately try to get the creep to stay away from the girls.

They get into the car as fast as they can, close the door behind them, and push the manual lock down from the inside. You're about to walk around the car to get in yourself and open the passenger door a little, when you hear the harasser yell, “Yeah, walk away, pussies. You can’t handle Kyle, anyway!” 

Your fuse blows. To get a look at this guy, you lift your head over the car. He's just standing there, his pants almost falling off his hips, wearing an oversized basketball shirt and a cheap-looking gold necklace, a shitty excuse for a tan from the last hot summer covering his pig-pink face. He doesn't even look like he could throw a punch, his aura is that of a man who lives in his parents' basement and is still his mother's “can't do nothing wrong” baby boy.

“Dad, you really don’t need to escalate this, let’s just go, please.” Rosa says nervously from the back seat, probably realizing what just happened inside you. You calm down a bit at the sight of her worried expression.

“Yeah, sorry Star, let’s –” 

“Whores!” Kyle shouts as he throws an empty red Solo cup in your general direction, halfway across the large front yard of the house. Joel rolls down the window and watches your expression change with an amused yet pissed off look, as if to say, “Are you gonna let him call our girls that?”

He'd like to fuck him up just as much as you would at this precise moment, but he's kind of interested to see how you're going to handle the situation. You know Joel could take care of this guy in seconds, but you're pissed. Utterly pissed.

You close the door with a hard slam before walking around the front of the truck again to meet him halfway in the front yard and gesture with two fingers for him to come closer. “Come again, Kyle. Repeat what you said.” 

“I said, whores. They’re both whores.” He pulls up his pants as he walks, since they've started to slide down.

You nod and walk up to him with your hands on your hips, keeping your anger inside for a little longer. “Look, Kyle. I just want to tell you somethin’. Thing is, if you're going to insult underage girls and call them whores – if you're stupid enough to do it in the first place – you better make sure you don't do it in front of their fathers.” 

“Like I give a fu –” 

And whoops, there goes your fist, straight into his face, your knuckles numb as they collide with the hardness of his skull. He stumbles back, holding his hand over his nose, which starts bleeding almost immediately, the blood dripping onto his crusty-looking white sneakers.

“You fucker.” He groans. His eyes light up with anger as he clenches his hand and hurls a fist your way that you dodge easily. You knew from the start that he wouldn't just take a punch and walk away, you've met drunk assholes like this before. Your heart starts to pump from the rush.

But maybe you're getting a little cocky, because you weren't expecting a second punch to follow so soon.

He strikes you in the stomach, forcing the air out of your lungs and sending an aching pain through your abdomen. You gasp for air, the spot where he hit you tingling. You punch him again, hitting his cheek with such force that it knocks him straight to the ground, sending him face-first into the dirt. He pushes himself up slightly, spitting out some grass that got into his mouth.

It doesn't seem like he wants to end it here, though, as his leg sweeps you off your feet, landing you on your back. Your head hits the soft grass, it's a good thing you didn't start this fight on the sidewalk, or you would have been a goner.

Suddenly, Kyle is on top of you, huffing and puffing like a madman, his hand gripping the collar of your shirt as his fist rains down on your face.

You close your eyes in reflex, your left eye burning with pain the moment his knuckles hit it. He keeps hitting you as you claw at his arm, trying to get him off of you. Your lower lip bursts open after a particularly hard punch, the strong taste of metal spreading through your mouth. You finally manage to roll him onto the ground with your legs and push him down, shaking him up and down to confuse him, the back of his head hitting the ground several times.

Now it's your turn to do the hitting, your fist just pounding down on him, your knuckles bloody and raw. You're not sure if it's his blood or your own, but you don't care. He's groaning in pain underneath you. There's no thought in your brain, just pure rage and the need to protect your loved ones. That blind rage just takes over your body.

Then, unexpectedly, someone grabs you from behind, slipping their arms under yours, pulling you to your feet and breaking up the fight. You struggle a bit, still feeling the need to keep beating him down.

“Don’t you fucking dare say that about my daughters ever again, you piece of predatory shit!” You spit on the floor next to him before wiping the blood from your face with your thumb as Joel drags you along. Kyle rolls onto his side on the floor, coughing a little as he curls up in pain. He looks beat up, but should get away with a busted nose and a few stitches.

“You got him, Space Boy. It’s enough.” Joel's voice snaps you out of your blinding rage. He finally lets go of you when you start walking towards the car without him having to push you. You're out of breath and numb as you wipe some blood off your face on your sleeve.

You get into the silent car, Rosa and Sarah sit up in the back seat to get a better look at you, their worried eyes digging into the back of your head. Your brain feels foggy from the adrenaline. Joel hands you a tissue for your bloody nose.

“Oh Dad…” Rosa exhales as she reaches for your shoulder. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” You watch the road as your breathing calms and the bleeding stops.

Joel pulls up to his house. By this point, the adrenaline, and numbness in your face have worn off, leaving you with a searing pain that spreads like wildfire through your entire body.

“Come on, let’s go inside. You included, Space Boy.” He says to everyone. You follow behind everyone, your steps slower than usual because of the beating you received. You're in pain, but that's fine, you can take a lot more than that. Joel looks over his shoulder and notices how sluggish you are.

“Let me help you out.” He walks over to you and carefully slings your arm over his shoulders, helping you into the living room where he lets you sit on the leather couch.

The girls lock the front door as Joel retrieves a first aid kit.

“Baby girl, could you bring us an ice pack or anything similar?” He asks Sarah, who nods and goes into the kitchen. Rosa stays nearby, watching the two of you from the side of the couch, her smaller hands clutching the cushions on the backrest.

Joel disappears into the bathroom, washes his hands and grabs a fresh towel, which he wets slightly before coming back and kneeling down in front of you. You inhale sharply between your teeth and squeeze your eyes shut at the pain as he gently touches your face with it, wiping away the blood and debris. He also checks to see if the wounds stop bleeding when he applies slight pressure to them, which they thankfully do. The cuts on your face hurt badly, but the coolness of the water on the cloth makes it a little more bearable.

“Sorry, Space Boy, this might hurt a little. Close your eyes, please.” Then he reaches for a spray used to disinfect open wounds. You close your eyes and feel his hand gently covering your eyes so as not to spray anything in them. He pushes down on the sprayer, the liquid burning in your wounds the moment it comes into contact. You swallow the air between your teeth and frown as he sprays it on two more sites.

“I didn’t think the guy had it in him…” You groan as the burning slowly turns into a throbbing, painful sensation. Joel tapes a small piece of medical tape over the slightly larger open wounds before holding your slightly swollen and bloodied hand. He does the same to it as he did to your face, his eyebrows furrowing at each painful looking wound he uncovers from the now half dried blood.

Sarah comes back into the living room with a bag of frozen peas and baby carrots and holds it out to you. 

“Thank you, Sarah…” You take the bag and hold it to your left eye, which has begun to swell. It soothes the dull, painful throbbing of your flesh. It had already become difficult to look out of that eye, your eyelid almost swollen shut.

Joel examines your face closely once he's finished cleaning and bandaging your hand, slowly rocking it from side to side as he holds you by the jaw. “Open up, you didn’t lose any teeth, did you?” 

You chuckle and shake your head. “No, don’t worry. See?” As you say this, you open your mouth so he can look inside.

“Good.” He exhales, his worry slowly fading away now that you're all bandaged up.

Rosa kneels next to Joel and looks at your face. You look at her through one eye and lift the pea bag from your other, smiling innocently at her, the movement making your cuts hurt.

“Jesus, Dad… you look like hell.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, Star…” You place the bag of frozen produce against your swollen eye and cheek again.

“It’s alright, I get it. The guy was a jerk. But please don’t do that again. I was so scared of losing you.” 

You frown as she stands up a bit to give you a soft hug. 

“Oh Rosa… I’m sorry.” You gently stroke her back with your wounded hand, the motion hurting like hell, but you push through it to comfort your daughter.

“I’m just glad you’re fine.” She mumbles before kneeling down before you again. “We’ll go upstairs, now… I’m exhausted from all that, and we’ll let you finish patching him up.” Rosa caresses your shoulder as she addresses the last part of the sentence to Joel and soon leaves with Sarah.

Joel packs the first aid kit after looking under your shirt, just to make sure you don't have to go to the hospital. You lean back against the backrest and rub your aching stomach. 

“Your face is gonna look like you lost a fight with a raccoon tomorrow.” He sits down next to you, rubbing the palms of his hands over his face as he sighs deeply.

You let out a painful chuckle and groan as you take a breath. “I really lost my composure back there, huh?” 

Joel nods as he smiles at you. “Better let me join in, next time.” 

“God, I hope there won’t be a next time. Kyyyyle will actually fuck. You. Up.” You scoff at the way the other man spoke.

Joel snorts before bringing his hand to rest on your thigh. “No, but really. We all got worried. Especially when that guy just fuckin’ took you down.”

A heavy sigh falls from your lips. You share a moment of silence as you're sitting, almost lying on the couch, your eyes closed.

You’re tired and in pain. 

It’s late. 

Joel shifts beside you and leaves a soft kiss on your lips, being careful not to press too hard so as not to hurt you. It feels like the kiss helps to ease the pain all over your body a little. You rest your head on his shoulder, changing the hand that was holding the ice-cold bag of peas.

The next morning, you wake up on the couch with Joel sleeping next to you and a Polaroid sitting on your lap. The bag of peas and carrots is gone. With one tired eye, the one that isn't swollen shut, you look at the Polaroid and see a picture of you and Joel sleeping soundly on the couch. Your head is resting on his shoulder, the bag of now seemingly unfrozen produce on your lap, his head on yours, his arm outstretched over the soft cushions of the backrest behind you. Sarah and Rosa signed it, drawing hearts and stars around the two of you. Even though you look beat up, the picture fills you with a warm feeling. You smile to yourself and press it to your sore chest, closing your eye to rest a little longer.

It takes a week for your face to heal to an acceptable degree. The swelling gets a little worse in the first few days, so you get some curious questions, which you just answer with “Haha, you should see the other guy.”  

Two weeks later, you get a call from the prison where Bridget is being held. The person on the other end helps you with the necessary paperwork to adopt Cooper. Within a week, you have a new person living in your house who loves to cause chaos and mischief, but fills you and Rosa's hearts with a deep love for him. You have prepared the house accordingly, installing toddler gates on the stairs and baby-proofing cabinets and drawers that contain things that could hurt him. You put Rosa's old crib at the foot of your bed, since you didn't have much time to renovate the guest room.

Cooper only knows a few words, which isn't surprising since he's only 19 months old. He waddles around the house and loves shiny objects, rocks, and dinosaurs. Another thing he likes to do is mimic Joel's actions when he's over, paying close attention to detail and holding a curled tissue between his lips to look like he has a mustache, just like Joel. You had shown him how to fake a mustache by holding a rolled up tissue between your nose and upper lip, but he hadn't quite figured out how to do it that way. So he came up with his own way.

Joel and Sarah often visit and enjoy the new company as well. If you didn't know Joel well, you'd think he thought the kid was all right, but knowing him, you can tell he absolutely loves him. He always brings a shiny new rock with him when he visits, probably found at work when he's on a job that requires gravel for the concrete. Cooper always arranges the rocks he gets on his small table that you had when Rosa was a baby. It's full of stickers and pink on some parts, but he's young and doesn't care, what matters is that he has his rock table.

Edith and John take Cooper to visit Bridget from time to time, but it feels like it's not often enough. Even though he doesn't cry for his mother initially, you can tell he's getting quieter as the time between visits grows longer.

You set up a savings account in Cooper's name and put money into it each month, just as you had done for Rosa since she was born. You'd put money aside for her to use for college or whenever she might need it most in the future; he only deserves to be treated the same.

Rosa and Sarah leave for college in the middle of August 2007 to set up their shared apartment. They've grown to be like inseparable sisters, always looking out for each other and having each other's backs. You love them both with all your heart.

Joel and you have a hard time saying your farewells. Your little girls both managed to get into Harvard University, which fills you with both pride and sadness that they have to go so far away from you two. They originally thought about flying there, but since they'd need the car they'd both saved up for, they finally decided to drive there in three days and stay in hotels. You and Joel pay for their accommodations by giving them enough spending money for the entire trip.

Cooper is not too happy about his big sister leaving him either; the recently turned three-year-old had been hiding some of her things around the house that he knows she would need, like her favorite pen or pillow. He doesn't hide them very well, but Rosa still pretends not to notice that her pillow is under her bed or that her pen is in her desk drawer. She always makes sure to ask him if he's seen the missing items. Cooper just smiles innocently and blames a little fairy for doing these things.

It’s an adorable sight to behold.

Rosa makes up for it by giving him a shiny new hot pink dinosaur that sparkles. It quickly becomes his absolute favorite toy.

The house feels empty without Rosa and Sarah. They've only been gone for a few hours, but the little things they took with them leave a hole in the house.

Joel knocks on your door that same night, after they had just called to let you know that the trip is going well and that they have just arrived at their hotel room.

“Hey, Space Boy. Could I… stay over for the night?“

“Sure, come in.” You open the door wider and step aside to let him in. “Your house must feel so empty right now…”

He frowns and nods as he walks in. “You know me too well.”

You spend the evening watching cartoons on the couch, with Cooper sleeping between the both of you, curled up on top of a large pillow. When it gets late, you pick him up and carry him to his crib, saying good night to Joel before going to your bedroom. Joel sleeps in the guest room.

You and Joel are kind of reluctant to show affection to each other in front of him, afraid that Cooper might say something to his friends and get you both in trouble with the more conservative parents in town.

In the middle of the night, you are awakened by someone crying at the foot of your bed. Cooper is standing up in his crib, looking at you from the foot of the bed, tears streaming down his face. You sit up and pick him up to comfort him.

“Sh, everything's alright, Coop.” 

He sobs as you gently rock him in your arms. But no matter how hard you try to soothe him, he's inconsolable.

“What's wrong?” You ask in your sweetest voice, trying to get an answer out of him.

“I miss Mommy…” He lets out between sobs, gasping for air. You frown and caress his head, which is pressed to your chest.

“Oh, I'm so sorry, baby… Do you want to go visit her?“ 

“With Dad…” He nods, finally calming down a bit, still wheezing. You hear some soft knocks at the door before it opens a little.

“Space Boy? Buddy? Is everything ok?“ Joel asks, his voice tired and worried.

“Buddy…” Cooper looks at the door, and Joel opens it further when he hears the boy calling for him. He sees Cooper's crying eyes in the dark and frowns.

“Did you have a nightmare, buddy?” 

He nods at the question and holds out his hand, doing grabby hands towards Joel. Joel sighs and smiles softly before stepping into the room. You move aside in the bed to make room for him and let him join you. Cooper climbs into his arms, resting his head on his chest.

Once he's asleep in Joel's arms, you smile at him and whisper, “I guess you can sleep with us just for tonight…”

You wake up the next morning and slowly blink your eyes to take in your surroundings. There's a toddler's foot tucked under your pillow in front of you, Cooper has somehow managed to turn upside down, his head facing the foot of the bed. Joel is still asleep, his face relaxed and turned toward you. You smile softly and yawn into your hand before slowly getting up to make a phone call to request an in-person visit with Bridget.

“Mommy!!” Cooper yells the moment he sees her enter the room. The guards close the door behind her.

“Oh my baby! Coop!” She holds out her arms and Cooper runs into them, hugging his mother tightly.

“Hello, Bridget.” You stand by the door, nodding at her as you cross your arms.

“Hi…” She gives you a cautious smile. She looks strangely… content with the situation she's in.

“Mom, look at what I made!” He pulls out a piece of paper with a drawing on it, which he prepared first thing after you told him he was going to visit his mother that afternoon.

“Oh, this is wonderful, Coop… Want to tell me who you drew on there?”

He nods excitedly. She picks him up and sits down on the couch in the room, sitting him on her lap.

“You can join in too.” She looks at you, still maintaining a friendly expression. You sit down next to her and help her hold the paper that Cooper has doodled on so he can explain who is who. The paper has a lot of different people drawn in different shapes and colors, standing on a field of grass, with a sun drawn in the top corner of the paper.

“Here is Rosa and Sarah.” He points at two girls with long hair, both wearing pink and purple dresses, which, amusingly, they never wear.

“Oh! You drew them so well.”

“This, Mercy, Mrs. Adler and Mr. Adler… Buddy… Dad and Mommy!” He smiles sleepily and yawns as he points to the circles drawn on the green block everyone is standing on. He continues to ramble on about what each person does. When he gets to explaining Joel to his mother, he can barely keep his eyes open.

“Rocks…” He blinks as he points out his favorite rocks, his eyes falling shut.

“Cooper?” Bridget looks up from the paper to check on him. Cooper has fallen asleep, his head hanging lower now. You chuckle and fold up the paper, placing it on the table nearby for Bridget to keep.

“Wow, he’s out cold.” She remarks before handing him over to you.

“He was so excited, he wouldn’t stand still today… Kid’s exhausted.” You sigh and hold him in your arms as he sleeps soundly, his head resting on your shoulder.

“… Thank you for bringing him to see me today. And for being here, too.” She smiles gently as she watches Cooper breathe softly. “I meant to ask, who is this ‘buddy’ he keeps mentioning? My parents wouldn’t tell me. From what he’s been saying, I’m guessing it’s Joel, right?”

You purse your lips so they disappear before avoiding eye contact, a little uncomfortable starting this conversation with her because of her outburst a few years ago.

“Haha, I knew it.” She grins. You're a little surprised by this reaction.

“You look happy.” She adds. “I've been meaning to get in touch with you again… I’ve done a lot of thinking and realized a lot of things I did wrong. I… I’m sorry for how I treated you.” 

“Bridget –” You frown at her apology.

“I mean it. I really am…”

“I’m sorry, too… For how things ended up being between us.”

She smiles apologetically and nods. “Thanks for taking Cooper in. I'm glad he has such a good life with you two. I hope… I hope I can come visit when my sentence is up.” 

“Of course.”

“How… How has Rosa been?”

You are silent for a moment, thinking. “She’s fine, still on her way to Harvard. She starts studying there starting next month, along with Sarah.”

“She got into Harvard?” A big, proud smile spreads across her face.

“Yeah, she sure did.” You chuckle softly. 

“I’m so glad she managed to do that… I just wish –” She doesn't finish the sentence, her face changes to a sad expression.

“I’m sure she’ll give you another chance.” You say, stroking Cooper's back.

Before you leave, you make sure to wake Cooper up so he can say goodbye to his mother, just so he doesn't wake up later looking for her.

You decide to take Cooper to see Bridget more often, since he still has the need to see her and misses her a lot. Back home, you look through old pictures of her in the attic and find a lovely one, which you frame. You put it next to his bed so he can look at it whenever it gets bad.

It feels strange to see her face again so regularly in your environment. You mention this to Joel, who expresses that he's happy that she's grown as a person and that he'll help you with the visits from time to time. Seeing her no longer brings painful or sad feelings. It's a feeling of acceptance. She was your past, and she is no longer a major part of your life, but she has given you many things that you love and cherish in the present.

Half of the year 2008 has passed. 

Things are getting more and more expensive, your salary isn't keeping up with the rising prices, and when you come home to Cooper's excited smile, you're exhausted and worried about the future. You put on your best face and smile back at him, doing your best to make the four-year-old as comfortable as possible. Yes, sometimes you have to go to bed a little hungry, but at least Coop doesn't.

On a regular afternoon, after you get home from work, you check the mailbox and find more bills that make your stomach sink. You desperately need a refill of your anxiety medication, but you can't really afford it.

You thank Connie, Mrs. Adler, for watching Cooper. Daycare is expensive, and since she's retired and her mother sadly passed away the previous year, she and her husband Danny have more time on their hands and are happy to watch him when you're at work. When she leaves, you pick him up and rock him gently to sleep. He's always fussy and unhappy when you come home because he can't fall asleep when you're not there.

As you softly rock him, you put the letters on the kitchen table and pull a chair back to sit on it as he slowly drifts off to sleep. You open up the letters to see how much you have to pay. The bills have increased again. It's the third time in a row that they've gone up that much.

You watch Cooper sleep for a moment, his face relaxed, resembling a little angel. With a deep breath, you rub your face with the palm of your hand, trying to figure out how you're going to pay for everything.

The front door of your house opens, and you hear a soft voice calling out to you.

“Space Boy, are you in here?” Joel steps into the kitchen, whispering. By now he knows that Cooper is usually asleep by this time, and you gave him the spare key to your house in case of an emergency or if he misses you. He sees Cooper's head on your shoulder and smiles.

You nod as you turn to look at Joel and stand up to kiss him on the cheek. Your face must look visibly troubled because he frowns when he sees you.

“Is everything alright?” 

“No, not at all… I've been struggling to scrape together enough money to afford water and electricity…” Continuing the conversation in a whisper, you unconsciously begin to gently rock Cooper up and down again.

”Yeah, I can only relate… things have gotten expensive lately…” He glances at the open letters on your kitchen table. And thinks for a second.

“Would you… like to move in together? Split the expenses?” He suggests.

You stand in front of him with a surprised look on your face, your mouth opening and closing as you think about how to respond, excited at the thought but worried about the consequences with the neighbors.

“You look like a startled fish.” He pulls you into a hug, careful not to move Cooper too quickly.

“… It would help us both…” You whisper, pressing your head into his shoulder as you contemplate.

“It would.”

“Fuck, Joel. People are gonna start talking if we do.”

“Let them. We can tell them it’s because of hard times.”

“I’d love to move in together.” A warm smile spreads across your face, your stomach flutters with excitement.

Cooper lifts his head a little, slowly waking up from his nap.

Joel lets go of both of you and smiles at the little guy. “Good afternoon, buddy.”

“‘Noon… buddy.” He responds, rubbing his eyes, still half asleep. You chuckle and kneel down to set him on the floor.

“Can you stand on your own, Coop?” 

He nods and holds on to your arms for some stability, looking up at Joel.

“Dad, is buddy staying?” 

“Joel?” You look up at him with a small grin. “Are you staying?”

Joel smiles and nods, kneeling down and resting his hand on Cooper's small shoulder. “I sure am.” 

Cooper's eyes light up, and he smiles the most beautiful smile you've ever seen him do. It almost brings tears to your eyes, so you stand up and watch as Cooper quickly makes his way to the toy box and pulls out his favorite pink dinosaur.

And so the two of you move in together, into your own home. It is bigger and, according to Joel, has more potential to accommodate the whole family. He manages to do some renovations to the house, making two big bedrooms for each girl and turning the guest room into a bedroom for Cooper. The walls of his room are covered with fun dinosaur and fossil stickers.

Joel puts everything that belongs to your daughters in its proper place, making sure everything is just like it was in his old house. You finally get to share a bedroom. The neighbors are curious about your moving in together, but you always answer that it is out of necessity.

The girls visit you this Christmas, the only warning being a card you got in the mail. The card is just a picture of them, both wearing the same clothes. Rosa is lying on her stomach on the floor with her head supported by her hands under her face and her feet in the air so that Sarah can sit on the underside of them. Sarah's feet are just pressed against Rosa's butt, while she's resting her head on her hand, her other arm in her lap, and with a shiny metallic pen they've written the phrase “We are approaching” above themselves.

And so time passes relatively quickly, the days filled with a homely comfort. The family grows as the girls find boyfriends, who turn out to be decent kids after you and Joel get to know them. Jeremy is Rosa's boyfriend and Ethan is Sarah's. They have the same sense of humor as the girls and always send links to funny videos from a website called “YouTube” via email when they think of you.

Joel's old house remains empty until the summer of 2010. Cooper turned 6 this year and started going to school. You have noticed that Joel's beard is slowly graying, which looks absolutely stunning on him. He's also pointed out that the same thing is happening to you.

The rumor that you two fancy each other inevitably spreads one day when a man named Frank moves into Joel's old house and hosts a garden dinner. As with your welcome party, the more chummy neighbors show up, Cooper sticks around Mercy, the Adlers' dog, who's started to go gray around its face.

It's either because neither of you has started dating women after living together for two years, or because of the way you behave around each other. Realistically, you're not doing a very good job of hiding your feelings for each other. Joel is very touchy around you, making sure to fix your hair or clothes when he notices that the slight breeze leaves you looking messier. He also just leans against you all the time, keeping his arm over your shoulders when you talk to people.

As everyone sits around the table, Cooper sits between the both of you, enjoying the food everyone has brought. You notice some people whispering to each other at the other end, closer to Joel's side, and you notice his demeanor changing slightly. He seems annoyed… or hurt.

The rest of the dinner goes well. Frank is a delight to talk to, and slightly hints at being into the same things as you and Joel, which confuses you a bit, since you hadn't talked about being big cinema fans.

The next day, just as you're about to walk up to the front door of your house, you're stopped by Connie Adler, who's out walking with Mercy.

“Dear, I wanted to address a certain rumor I heard last night…” 

“Oh? What is it, Connie?”

She leans closer to your ear and whispers, “Can you believe it? Someone started saying that you and Joel are in a relationship.”

The blood drains from your face when you hear her say that, your brain goes on autopilot, afraid of what she might say if you agree.

“Haha… eh, that’s just stupid. You know we’re just best friends.” You smile nervously as she backs away, your brain leaving you hanging.

She talks to you for quite a while, but you can't really recall everything in detail by the time you walk through the front door. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess around the thing you just agreed to do. Cooper's bus still hasn't arrived, so it's just you and Joel at home.

“Joel… Connie might’ve pushed us into a bit of a… situation.” You begin, pursing your lips into a slit as you sit down at the kitchen table.

“What’s up?” He continues drying the dishes he was working on, leaning against the sink as he faces you. 

“She kind of set up a double date with two other women for us… Said that, it’s horrible that someone’s spreading rumors about us being gay when we’re living together out of necessity.”

He raises an eyebrow and sets the cup he was drying on the counter, draping the kitchen towel over his shoulder as he asks, “Did you agree to it?”

You frown and nod as you reply, “Yes… She backed me into a corner, I couldn’t say no. And maybe this could help people forget about it, and we can just go back to living life normally without worrying about people finding out?” 

He crosses his arms. “Ok. And what will you do if the women we go out with are actually interested in us romantically? Go home with them and fuck them?”

An embarrassed feeling spreads through your lower stomach as you think. “Maybe not go that far. If it does get to that point, we could go home with them and tell them we’re not ready for anything like that…”

“No. I hate the idea of you going home with some random woman.” Joel sounds wounded that you would even think that.

“I know. I’m also not too fond of you doing the same.” 

“Fine. That's settled. When is the double date?” His voice sounds pissed off that he was forced into this.

“Tonight… Don’t worry, I’ve already called Coop’s grandparents, and they can watch over him.”

“Tonight.” He states in a cold tone.

“Yeah, tonight.” You tilt your head to the side, confused by his reaction.

“You know what day it is, right?” 

You think for a second. 

Is it his birthday? 

No. That was last month. 

Maybe it’s Cooper’s. 

No, that already happened even longer ago. 

Your… anniversary? 

Your anniversary. 

It’s the anniversary of you confessing your true feelings to him.

The anniversary of you actually becoming an official couple in secret.

“Shit… Our anniversary…” “Yeah. Our anniversary.” 

“Shit – I’m so sorry –” You start, getting up from your chair to reach out for him.

“No. Leave it. Let’s get ready.” He leaves the kitchen without saying anything further.

You get ready at the same time, and after dropping Cooper off at his grandparents', you drive to the restaurant Mrs. Adler told you to meet at, the ride quiet and uncomfortable, your anxiety digging holes in your stomach.

You frown, still feeling how angry he is at the thought of someone else having you. The date actually goes alright. The two women, Dorothy and Jolene, seem really interesting. Dorothy has a heavy accent when she speaks, but that's normal for folks around here. She loves woodworking, and Jolene likes to spend time birdwatching.

You sit directly across from Jolene for the entire meal, her dark, long hair shining in the dim lights of the restaurant. Joel seems to be more quiet and avoids talking to you for most of the experience, but begins to strike up a friendly conversation with Dorothy, exchanging tips on how to carve different types of wood. You feel awful about this. You can feel how furious he is with you, it's the first time you've ever had a fight, and it's on your anniversary. He's been upset about things before, but never really about you, so it's anxiety-inducing, even with the current anxiety medication you're taking.

Just as you finish dessert, your stomach starts to churn, hoping they won't actually ask you to accompany them home. They ask to split the bill, and as you wait, the air between the four of you grows tense. Dorothy secretly whispers something to Jolene.

The surrounding chatter is drowned out by your pounding heart, your nerves unable to hold out much longer. So you decide to break the tension by asking the stupidest question you could have asked, “So, what would you ladies like to do after this?” 

You feel your whole body tense up, Joel's presence next to you getting more and more irritated.

“Nothing… But actually, there's something we need to tell you two. Don't take this the wrong way, you're both lovely guys, but you made us realize something important. We've decided to officially come out as lesbians. We're tired of all the lying and hiding from people.” As Jolene drops this information, a weight lifts from your chest.

The two women exchange a quick peck on the lips for all to witness. You sit there with a dumbfounded look on your face, but no one in the restaurant seems to think much of it. 

“We’re sorry, we should’ve told you before.” Jolene notes, smiling apologetically.

“N – No, you’re good.” You start, standing up from your seat. “You two probably want to spend some time alone, then.”

Dorothy chuckles, the rest of the group also getting up to leave. “Y’ain’t wrong. We just can’t go on like this anymore, y’see.” 

Joel is silent as the four of you leave the restaurant, following behind. You wish the women good luck for the future and wave goodbye.

Dorothy and Jolene head off, hand in hand, happy with their decision. You watch them, standing a short distance away from Joel, your mind just realizing that this is a possibility, to just come out and live a life together as a couple. A… gay couple? This is when you realize that you've never even posed this question to yourself in the past seven years that you've known Joel.

Am I gay?

Or bi?

Your eyes wander to Joel. He's standing there, hands in his pockets, watching them leave. He doesn't seem as angry as he did before. You can tell the gears in his head are turning, but so are yours.

“Joel.” The tone of your voice is a little jaded. “We should head back home.” 

He nods. The drive home is silent. You know Joel is still a little miffed that you asked what they'd like to do after dinner. 

The front door shuts smoothly behind you when you get home, Joel standing in front of you with his back to you.

The silence in the house is deafening. You should probably be picking up Cooper from his grandparents, but you exchange a quick glance with Joel that stops you in your tracks. Without saying a word, he pulls you into a tender kiss. You drop the jacket you were holding and reach for the hem of his shirt, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

With Cooper living with you, it has been a while since you had the house to yourselves. It's not that you minded. But not being able to exchange kisses and touches was getting old. Your tongue brushes the edge of his front teeth, his tongue trails after yours. He hastily unbuckles your pants, his fingers slipping into the waistband of your jeans and slowly pulling them down a fraction.

His arm wraps around your waist, holding you up as your knees buckle, the emotion so intense it makes you lose all your strength. He pulls away to meet your eyes, his face a shade redder, his mouth open as he breathes heavily from the kiss.

“I want you out of those clothes. Immediately.” He whispers. You nod and strip naked in front of him, your eyes darting between his eyes and lips.

“Good. Now turn around.” Joel’s eyes are dark. Not only from the intensity of the lust he's feeling for you right now, but also from how angry he was with you before. He unzips his pants and pulls out his semi-hard cock as you turn around.

“Gonna fuck those thighs. Squeeze ’em together.”

His big arms wrap around you, pulling your body close to his and enveloping you in a warmth you didn't know you were missing until now. You squeeze your legs together and feel his dick glide slowly between them, growing harder from the friction. A soft sigh leaves your lips at the feeling, his touches soft despite the rough skin on his fingers.

As you stand on the tips of your toes, his fingers slowly begin to play with your nipples, tugging them gently after rubbing his thumb over the small nub. All of this has made you extremely hard, and his panting breath close to your ear sends shivers down your spine.

Your cock aches to be caressed, to get some attention, but every time you try to reach for it, his hands stop you. You wish you could say you weren't thinking about anything else as he pushes his cock between your thighs, the head poking out the front under your sack, but your mind keeps spinning about the possibility that you might be gay.

Women are beautiful, some of them attractive to you, but you've never felt as intense of a love for them as you have for Joel. At the very beginning of this journey, your thoughts only revolved around this man who has kept you up at night since your first shared kiss.

“Fuck, Joel.” The air is pushed out of your lungs as his cock moves faster between your tightly pressed thighs, the pre-cum leaking from the front of his cock adding a little lubrication. Your erection twitches at the sensation of his length rubbing against your balls, stimulating you in just the right way. His chest and stomach are pressed against your back as you struggle a little to stand on your tiptoes.

“Hah… I can’t last much longer like this…” He gasps close to your ear, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he continues to thrust. His warm hands cling to you as yours search for something to hold onto. They grab for his arms, his hips, anything to ground you from this experience, but your mind goes blank, your moans leaving your mouth as unavoidable as breathing.

Until he stops, out of breath and still rock hard between your thighs. “Space Boy, I want to go a bit further…” 

You take a deep breath before looking at the clock on the living room wall. There should be enough time before you need to pick up Cooper. 

“Alright…”

The two of you having no patience to go upstairs and grab the bottle of lube, you once again opt for a fresh jar of coconut oil you bought to replace the old one. Since no one uses it for cooking, it's still sealed. For once, Joel doesn't waste much time stretching you out, impatiently rubbing his own cock as he goes. You're standing in the dark living room, your hands out in front of you to hold yourself up on the back of the couch.

You moan, also impatient, as his fingers slide in and out of your anus, stretching it faster than usual. Fortunately, it's not too painful, as you just relax as much as possible.

He soon pulls them out, leaving you feeling empty, and before he positions himself to slowly push inside you, he applies some more oil to make sure it's a smooth ride for both of you. Slowly, he fills you up, inch by inch. Moving in and out, he gets deeper, the head of his hardened cock brushing against your prostate after so long. Your grip on the couch back tightens as you muffle your moans by pressing your lips together, your eyes closed tightly as you focus on the sensation.

His thrusting begins to pick up speed after a while, his breathing mixed with an orchestra of breathy “hah”s. You can't hold in your moans any longer as they are forced out of you, mixed with the sounds of his heavy breathing and skin slapping against skin.

Joel grabs both of your wrists and pulls you by them as he thrusts into you, his movements rougher than what you are used to. You keep thinking about seeing Jolene and Dorothy holding hands in public, how confident they were. Until you can no longer think straight.

Your brain is slowly being pounded into mush as his cock hits your sweet spot over and over again, your gasps getting stuck in your throat. The only thought in your head is whether you're exclusively into men or not.

As you moan, you blurt out, “Joel, ah – are we gay?”

Joel slows down his thrusts, breathing heavily for a moment in silence, reflecting on what you've just asked him. It's like his brain needs time to buffer after being so close to an orgasm.

Stunned and confused, he asks, “Are you really asking me this while we’re… having sex?”

You blink as the haze in your brain clears. “I… am.” 

He snorts, his hand letting go of one of your wrists to hold it in front of his mouth. You turn your head to look at him. 

“Space Boy. You confessed your love to me. We've been living together for some years now. We can't keep our hands off each other whenever we're alone together. I can make you do these…” he thrusts into you, making you whine as his cock hits just the right spot, “… sounds with ease. What do you think?” 

You groan impatiently, waiting for him to move again, your mind spinning with lust. “Fuck… – hah – that I’m probably very gay.”

“Took you long enough to figure out.” He laughs, his hand reaching for the wrist he was holding before.

“Please… keep going then, I can’t take it anymore…” You whine.

He obliges and starts thrusting into you again, your head quickly reverting to an empty space. With heavy breaths, Joel's movements become more intense, each rub against your prostate drawing you closer to your orgasm.

“Fuck – hah – you’re so tight for me, Space Boy… You’re about to come, aren’t you?” A moan catches in his throat as he breathlessly speeds up his thrusts, the grip on your wrists increasingly tightening to keep you from slipping.

You hum in agreement with the question, unable to form words at this point, a jumble of moans and heavy breaths being the only thing your mouth is capable of producing. Your head bounces slightly with each thrust.

“Me too.” He puffs, his thrusts becoming erratic as the two of you reach your mind-clearing orgasm, the intense feeling of pleasure, love, and satisfaction sweeping over you in an instant. Your cock twitches as the last few spurts of cum run down the underside of it.

“A – Ah… are you still… mad at me?” You whimper as he pulls out of you and slowly lets go of your wrists. You feel his semen slowly flow out of you as you stand up straight on shaky legs, holding on to the couch when you're about to lose your balance.

He remains silent for a moment, his hands caressing your back as you feel his gaze fixed on your naked, twitching body.

“Maybe just a little bit.” After quickly cleaning up and allowing you to catch your breath, he picks you up, bridal style, which confuses you a small bit.

“Joel… I need to go get Coop.”

“Call Edith, tell her it might get late, and you’ll get him tomorrow. It’s our anniversary. Please.”

“Alright…”

He carries you to your shared bedroom, making sure to get your phone on the way.

When he gently lays you down on the bed and kisses your temple, you search for Edith's number on your phone, open her contact, but you don't press the call button yet, “Joel. Would you… be ready to come out and officially become a couple? Not just in secret?” 

“I’ve been waiting for you, actually… I’ve been ready to do so since I asked you to move in together.” He sits down by your side, watching your finger hover over the call button.

You hide your face in the palm of your hand and groan in embarrassment. “I thought you hated the idea of people knowing.” 

“Well, maybe we should talk about these things more openly…”

“Maybe.”

After a moment of silence, Joel opens his mouth again to ask something in a soft, vulnerable way, “If it becomes possible for the both of us to get married in the future… what would your stance on that be…?”

You turn your head to look at him, wide-eyed. 

“I just wanted to ask because of the divorce you went through.”

“Joel Miller. If we could get married tomorrow, I'd drag you to the church right now and wait until it opens to be the first to get married in the morning.” 

He smiles and looks down at your phone, giving you a small nod. “You can tell her.”

You nod and press call, holding the phone to your ear and listening to the dial tone. Edith answers after a few seconds.

“Edith, is it ok if Cooper stays with you tonight?”

“Oh, of course, dear. I assume the date is going well?” 

“Eh, it’s going better than expected, actually. The two women are actually a lesbian couple.”

“I… don’t understand?” 

“Well, they made me… us realize something. I should’ve been honest from the start.” You take a deep breath. “Edith, Joel and I are together. We've been, uh… secretly dating since 2006.” 

Edith laughs softly on the other end of the line. “Dear. We know.” 

You bite your lower lip and smile, hiding your face in the palm of your hand. “Were we really that obvious?” 

“It's hard to hide when you're truly in love with someone.”

You chuckle and nod, “Mhm.”

“Well, don’t worry. Cooper will stay here for tonight. Say hello to Joel from us and enjoy your time together.”

“Thank you, Edith. See you tomorrow.” 

“Good night, sweetheart.” 

You set the phone down and turn to Joel, who is playing with a button on his shirt.

“I guess we’re official now, huh?” He asks, reaching for your hand. You nod and pull him in for a kiss that starts out sweet but quickly turns intense, your hands undressing him so he can finally join in on the birthday suit.

The rest of the night turns into a night of heated passion shared between your bodies, the kisses, and touches you exchange hot enough to rival burning lava.

The next time you see Connie, she’s chatting with Denise on the sidewalk. 

You go up to them and thank Connie for the date she set up. You tell them that the rumors about you and Joel were indeed true, and that the two of you have finally decided to let people know about it. Connie seems a bit taken aback at first. It might just be the initial shock of hearing this come out of your mouth, but she quickly warms up to the idea of you two being together since she has known you for so long.

Word spreads quickly, and soon everyone in the neighborhood knows about the new couple. Some people are genuinely happy for you two, only a handful of people start to avoid talking to you both, but that's probably for the best.

Frank points out that he knew you two were dating from the first time he saw you, and that the last time you spoke, he was referring to being into men. This leads you to believe that he was the one who started the rumor in the first place. But you don't hold it against him. In fact, you're glad he did.

Joel and you don't really change the way you act, you just feel comfortable staying the way you are around each other, but you are finally able to kiss and hold hands when you feel like it.

The years pass.

You and Joel raise Cooper as your own, going through thick and thin together. You still make sure to visit Bridget. She's become a good friend of yours again, and she's warming up to Joel, too, after making an effort to get to know him, her prejudices, views and disgust with same-sex couples changing over the years.

Cooper is a little rock star. He picks up the guitar after hearing Joel practice and joins the school band. Sarah and Rosa successfully graduate and move back to Austin with their boyfriends, living in a nearby apartment complex.

Around June 2015, you hear some news about the Supreme Court considering overturning the nation's ban on same-sex marriage. It's a topic you begin to follow closely on a daily basis, being careful to do so in secret because of your plan. You'd bought an engagement ring for Joel some time ago and were hoping to finally propose.

On the 26th, the fantastic news finally reaches your ears while you're at work. You drive home as quickly as possible after work and mentally prepare yourself as you retrieve the box containing the ring from its hiding place. Cooper's gone to a friend's house after school, so you can finally do what you've been waiting to do for so long.

You pace up and down the kitchen, trying to figure out how to propose to Joel. Your heart is racing in your chest like crazy as you rehearse what you want to say to him.

Joel, these past 12 years with you have been amazing. 

And today is a very special day. 

I wanted to ask you something very important. 

Joel Miller. 

Will you marry me?

As you repeat this for the seventh time, you hear the front door open and almost drop the box. You stop and listen to see who just got home.

“Space Boy! Space Boy? Are you home?” Joel sounds like he's in a rush as he calls out to you.

“Eh – Yep! I'm in the kitchen. Welcome home, Joel!” You take a deep breath and listen, expecting to hear him coming your way, but it doesn't happen. Instead, you hear nervous fumbling and Joel cursing under his breath through the door. 

You slowly open the kitchen door and look into the living room to see Joel standing by the couch with one hand behind his back and the other resting on the couch. He looks at you, almost sweating like a sinner in church.

“Joel? Are you alright there?” You frown, tilting your head to the side as you ask.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I’m all good.” He swiftly replies, visibly nervous. You smile and press your lips together, trying to hold back a grin. With the box in your hand, you keep it hidden behind your back.

“Actually, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” He mumbles, scratching the back of his head with his other hand.

You walk over to him, watching his expression. He gets down on one knee once you're in front of him, his knees cracking audibly. You simply join him on the ground, making the same movement at the same time.

The both of you are just down on one knee in front of each other. 

Each holding a box in one hand. 

“Will – Huh – Wait, what?” He blinks, dumbfounded that this isn't going according to the script he'd made up in his head, while he opens the box in his hand for you to see a beautiful yet simple ring inside.

You laugh as you open your box in return to show him the engagement ring you bought for him. A smile spreads throughout his face as he begins to crack up as well. Once you both have calmed down enough, he gently takes your free hand.

“Will you… Will you marry me?” He asks, staring deep into your eyes. 

“Yes, Joel. Will you marry me?” You taunt him, squeezing his hand slightly. 

He chuckles and nods before kissing your lips softly. 

“We really are just a couple of idiots, aren’t we?” You ask, giggling as you exchange engagement rings. Your hands tremble as you slide yours onto his finger, the excitement rushing through your body. He's no better, his hands shaking too, almost dropping the ring as he takes it out of the box.

“We’re two idiots in love.” He smiles, about to give you another kiss, but you are interrupted when both your phones go off at the same time. You take your phone out of your pocket and swipe over the glass to answer Rosa's call.

“Dad?! When’s the wedding?!” Rosa’s voice is excited when you hold the phone to your ear. You hear a similar question coming from Joel's phone, so you just laugh as you stand up with him.

“Hello, Star.” 

“There’s no time for pleasantries! You did hear what happened, right?” She asks impatiently.

“I did. We… we sorta just proposed to each other a few seconds ago. Both at the same time.”

“WHAT! OH MY GOD!”

Her reaction makes you laugh. 

“Don’t worry, we said yes.” 

“I – I! JEREMY!” She shouts a distance away from the phone. You look at Joel, who is also busy trying to talk to an enthusiastic Sarah. He's holding back a laugh as your daughters freak out on the other end of the line.

Rosa hangs up without saying goodbye, as does Sarah. 

“They’re coming over, aren’t they?” Joel asks as he shoves his phone into his front pocket.

“I’ll go prepare the tea.” You nod as you reply. 

“Wait.” He pulls your arm and presses his lips to yours. His hands cradle your face as you kiss, a happy warmth spreading through your entire body. Your old knees feel weak as you hold on to him.

“Now you can go.” He whispers after he pulls away.

“Jesus, Joel. I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” He holds up the hand with the engagement ring, wiggling his fingers. “We’re getting married.” 

You smile before making your way to the kitchen. The house buzzes with energy as your daughters arrive with their respective partners. Cooper comes home not too long after they arrive and is confused as to why everyone is freaking out. You tell him what happened, and he has a watered down version of Rosa's reaction, excited that his dads are finally getting married.

The wedding planning doesn't take all that long. You've waited so long for this day that you just want to get to it as soon as possible. You get married at your local church, and the new pastor, Pastor Gabriel, is very accepting and positive about this change. You take Joel's last name, Rosa and Cooper are excited to change their last names to Miller as well.

There are a handful of guests you invite to your wedding. You don't want the whole thing to be too big. After the ceremony, you have a small garden party, Tommy has set up a nice looking canopy in the backyard. Connie and Maria prepared a delicious meal for everyone. Your daughters are in charge of the cake and go out of their way to find a cake topper with two men and paint it to look like you two.

As you get to the toast of the evening, you look around and see the faces of the people you've come to love and care about. You sit next to Joel at a table that faces everyone. Rosa, Sarah, Cooper, Jeremy, and Ethan sit together at the table closest to you. Tommy, Maria, Denise, and her family are at the table next to them. Frank is sitting next to his new boyfriend, Bill, at the same table as Dorothy and Jolene. And finally, Edith, John, Connie, and Danny are seated together.

Rosa and Sarah stand up when it's time for the toast. They pull out a projector to beam something onto the flattest part of the house. You're slightly tipsy by this point, holding Joel's hand in yours, your finger playing with his wedding ring.

“Dear everyone. We’re gathered here today to celebrate our Dads finally getting married.” Sarah starts as the projector shows the words “Mr. & Mr. Miller”.

“Even though they've 'only' known each other for 12 years, it feels like they've been together forever. And we just wanted to show our appreciation to you, dear Dads, by sharing our most treasured moments with you.”

You watch as the projection changes to a video where they've pieced together pictures to a heartfelt song. You can feel the tears starting to well up as the first picture is the one they took of you and Joel on the couch the night after you beat up that guy named Kyle. 

The next image is of you and Joel at the Santana concert, both of you visibly younger and a little awkward around each other, not knowing how to act. 

Then it changes to a picture of the whole family, including Jeremy and Ethan, dressed up for Halloween. Cooper requested to dress up as characters from his favorite show, so he was dressed in a little platypus outfit, dressed as Agent Perry from the show Phineas and Ferb. You were dressed as Major Monogram, Joel as Dr. Doofenschmirz, Rosa as Candace, Sarah as Vanessa, Ethan as Ferb and Jeremy as… well, Jeremy.

It continues with images of a camping trip you took, highlighting the good times you had with your little family.

The video ends with you and Joel together at a pride parade, next to Rosa, Sarah, and Cooper, holding up a sign that says, “I love my gay Dads!”

You're sobbing by the end, with Joel squeezing your hand as you exchange a quick look.

“Thank you for these wonderful years. We love you.” Rosa makes a heart shape with her hands.

“We love you lots. But. We need to add one more thing.” Sarah holds her hand to her chest as a small, mischievous smile spreads across her face.

“We do indeed, Sarah. Did you know that they used to be roommates?”

“Oh my God, they were roommates.” 

Rosa and Sarah's table along with Denise's kids burst out into laughter, leaving everyone older than them confused as to why it's so funny, until the projector shows a short video of exactly what they just said.

Joel cracks up and lets out a hearty laugh, “Good one!” 

You blink, now chuckling a little from the added context.

The rest of the evening remains magical, everyone seems to get along. It ends with a long round of karaoke. By the time you and Joel get up to sing, most of the guests have left to go to bed, so you choose a slow, romantic song, mostly just singing to each other, enjoying the time together.

When you finally get to bed, Joel and you are so drunk. He pulls you into bed by grabbing the fabric of your suit jacket. After you land on him, you push yourself up a little to look down at the man.

“Hey there, handsome…” You slur your words as you speak, your hand reaching for Joel's tie to loosen it slightly. Every movement either of you make is languid.

“Hi.” His smile is so big that his eyes half close. You slowly place kisses on his neck once the tie is loose, but your body feels so heavy and tired that you end up resting your head on his chest.

“I don’t think…” You yawn as Joel slowly caresses your back. “I… can stay awake…” 

“Mm… me neither.” He speaks softly, his breathing slow and deep as you listen. 

You both fall asleep in an instant, enjoying the comfort of each other.

The next day you leave for your honeymoon, Cooper stays with his grandparents while you're gone. The destination is a small cabin in the mountains, that's situated right next to a lake. It's a quiet and remote place, so you'll have it all to yourselves. The hangover is a touch heavy in the morning, so the first thing you both do is take an aspirin and drink lots of water.

You arrive at your destination late in the afternoon, the sun has already set, a warm orange color in the sky that is slowly turning darker by the second. By now, you both feel much better. The air is still warm. Joel stops the truck and gets out, walking around to take in the view of the surrounding mountains. You get out too, smiling from ear to ear, and take a deep breath.

The journey had been hot in the late summer sun, so a dip in the clear lake was the perfect way to cool off. With a grin, you turn to Joel and say, “Last one in the water.” 

You start running towards it, stripping off all of your clothes and jumping into the water completely naked. Joel follows a few seconds later, splashing you with water as he cannonballs into the lake.

You splash some water back at him as he emerges, chuckling when he does the same, until he pulls you in for a brief kiss. His hands hold onto your arms for a moment. You kiss him again for longer, humming.

Joel pulls away after a minute and looks up at the sky, his face lighting up at the sight. You lean back and float in the water, also looking up at the sky. Joel swims close to you and joins you.

“This is wonderful…” You exhale. The sky turns dark, the stars appearing one by one. The water is still quite warm from the sun shining on it all day.

“Look, Space Boy! A shooting star!” He points to the sky, and there it is. A shooting star drawing a line across the sky. You wish for something. The stars reflect off the surface of the water, and it feels like you're floating in space together.

As you watch the sky together, you see one or two more shooting stars, each drawing a gasp from both of you.

But the water is rapidly getting colder.

“We should go inside, start up a fire in the fireplace.” You mutter, shivering somewhat as you stand in the water, your feet touching the floor of the lake.

“Yeah, let’s get going.”

You walk out of the lake and grab your clothes on the way to the cabin. Joel gets all the bags from the truck and follows you inside. After a quick shower to wash off the sweat of the day along with the lake water, you grab some bathrobes and throw them on. Joel lights the fire in the fireplace.

The cabin is quite spacious, with a separate bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. You sit with Joel on the rug in front of the open fireplace and open a bottle of champagne that the owner left to congratulate you.

“To us.” He holds up his glass, the golden, bubbly liquid swirling inside. He's lying on his side, his elbow propping up his torso. His hair, still wet from the shower, glistens in the light. The room is filled with a warm light from the fire, slowly warming your bodies.

“To us.” The glasses clink against each other, and you take a sip, enjoying the sparkling drink. You lie on your back, closing your eyes for a second.

“This is surreal. We’re really… on our honeymoon.” You say, taking another sip. He chuckles and shifts next to you, still needing a break from the long ride you've just had. The fire crackles beautifully in the fireplace, filling the room with a cozy warmth.

“We are.” He takes a deep breath, inhaling the warm scent of the burning fire mixed with the scent of the wood in the cabin. He rolls onto his side again to look at you, his thin tall glass now empty.

“Want a refill on that champagne?” 

“Oh, sure.” You lift your head and finish your glass, handing the now empty tall champagne glass back to him.

You turn your head to look at him, still on your back. The robe splits at the top of his chest, providing you with a glimpse. His chest is covered with hair, some of it gray. The warm fire illuminates his silhouette as he pours more of the sparkling liquid into your glasses.

“You’re staring, Space Boy.” He smirks as he hands you the glass. 

“And? Am I not allowed to stare at my beautiful husband?” 

“Only if I’m allowed to do the same.”

“You are.” You take the glass and drink. You stare at each other for a while longer. Joel's hand plays with the belt that's tied at the front of your robe. 

“Joel… what did you wish for? When we saw the shooting star, I mean.”

“Hm, I’m not allowed to tell you.” 

You roll your eyes as you turn to the side. “Well, I wished for a long, happy life together with you and our family.” 

His eyes dart between your eyes, lips, and shoulder as he smiles, “I’ll be. I wished for the exact same thing.” 

You finish your second glass of champagne, staring into his eyes. He's almost undressing you with his eyes at this point, the robe sliding slightly off your shoulder as you set the glass in front of him.

“I’d like another refill.” You whisper. And seconds later, your glass is replenished. Joel pours the rest of the bottle into his own glass. His hand, which had been toying with the belt around your waist, has moved up under the cloth, his hand absentmindedly caressing your hip.

Your chest is filled with adoration as you share this quiet moment together. You lean forward to give Joel a soft peck on the lips. His hand pulls you closer as he stares at your lips, waiting for another kiss. You listen to his soft breathing.

With a grin, you inch closer to his face, only to bring your glass to your lips to drink everything he's just poured in one gulp. He watches you lick your lips, his eyes turning darker from the tension that is brewing between the two of you.

He pulls his hand out from under your robe, reaching for your chin to pull you in for a deeper kiss. You slide the glass aside, your hands finally caressing his bare skin as you slip them under the front of his robe. Your fingers run down the skin of his chest to rest on his side, the movement opening the front of his robe a little more. 

Your tongues rub against each other, tenderly, slowly, the taste of champagne lingering in your mouths. Neither of you are in a hurry. You have an entire week to spend here together. He stares into your eyes when he pulls away, your breathing growing heavier.

“Why don’t we get out of these robes?” He whispers, tugging lightly at one end of the belt that does its best to keep the cloth wrapped around you together.

“No… I think you look really sexy in it.” You hold your hand over his, preventing him from untying the knot. He thinks for a second before letting go of the belt and rolling over to lie on top of you, propping himself up on his forearm 

“I might need to agree with you there. You don't look too bad in yours, either.” His eyes roam up and down your body. You roll your eyes at the comment and rest your arms on his shoulders, crossing them at the wrists.

“Actually, I need to correct myself there. You look amazing. Like a present I can’t wait to unwrap.” He whispers with a slight curl of his upper lip as his hand slides up your thigh, sending a hot shiver down your spine. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, the moment and his scent surrounding you making you gradually erect. His calloused fingers caress your inner thigh, pushing your legs further apart.

His lips kiss your cheek, the tip of your nose, along your jawline, down to your neck. You gasp at each loving kiss and caress. His hand slides under your leg, pulling it up as he grinds his hardened cock against yours, its hardness feeling wonderful as it slides against you, the robes split at your hips due to the position.

Breathy whispers of affection leave your lips as his kisses turn to soft bites and licks that leave a tingle of pleasure under the surface of your skin, making your need for him grow.

“Fuck, Joel… Love you so much – hah – so much…” 

He moves to kiss the spot behind your ear as you turn your head to the side, your mind spinning from the sensual feel of his relentless grinding.

“I love you too, Space Boy…” In a breathy whisper, he responds, his hip pressing harder against you as his rubs become more intense, more needy. Your cock twitches against his as pre-cum leaks from the tip.

You tilt your head back to face him, pulling him into a passionate kiss as Joel reaches for the lube on the tray of complimentary items next to the soft carpet you're lying on. He takes his time with you, nipping softly at your lower lip and tugging playfully. 

He shifts to press his hip against your thigh, lifting your other leg and angling it so that the sole of your foot touches the floor. Your lips are red and slightly swollen by the time his finger presses against your anus, eliciting a soft moan.

He curls it each time he pushes it inside you, your hands gripping the robe on his shoulder as he goes at it for what seems like an eternity, until he finally spreads your anus wider and inserts a second finger.

Your slightly tipsy mind still can't believe you're here with him, being caressed, touched and kissed as newlyweds. It still feels like a dream you're too scared to wake up from. The tip of his middle finger curls and presses against your prostate, sending a shattering pleasure through your entire body. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close, his face pressed lightly against your shoulder as you moan close to his ear. 

His muffled voice speaks to you, “That’s it… Let me hear you, honey…” Kisses are pressed against your shoulder. By now, your robe has slipped completely off your shoulders, the sleeves only covering your forearms as the cloth gathers at the inside of your elbow.

Every lengthy moan that comes out of you makes his cock throb against your thigh, his hips moving slowly to get some friction as he finally stretches your hole enough. Your fingers run through his slightly damp hair, yanking slightly to get a breathy grunt out of him. He loves it when you pull his hair.

“Hah, Joel… Please… I want to kiss you.” You pant as he keeps fingering your hole, the lube slowly drying up from how long he's been dragging this out. He pulls his fingers out of you, and you manage to roll the two of you over so that he is underneath you.

You lean down to plant hot kisses on his lips, his hands feeling up your thighs, grabbing your butt under the robe that now only covers your waist. Your tongue licks over his collarbone before you suck on a softer part of his shoulder, leaving a faint mark. With one hand still on your ass, he slides his cock between your cheeks with his other hand. He doesn't push inside you, using both hands to press your cheeks together as he moves his hips, his cock sandwiched between your cheeks.

A soft moan leaves his mouth as you move your hips along with his slow thrusts. You want to reach for the bottle of lube, but you restrain yourself and let Joel enjoy the experience a little longer. He's got his eyes closed as he lies beneath you, his brow furrowed as his breathing gets heavier with each slow thrust.

“So fucking good… you look so handsome.” You whisper close to his ear before planting your lips against his neck, sucking lightly at his skin to mark him as yours.

“Jesus, Space Boy… You’re gonna –  hah –  gonna make me come before we even get started –” A breathy moan reaches your ears. You're enjoying this so much. He fights the urge to continue by lifting his hands from your cheeks and rubbing them up your sides until they stop under the waistband of the robe.

“Don’t worry.” You finally reach for the bottle of lube and shift back so you can apply it to his erection, which is twitching in your hand. “We can move on to the best part…”

He looks at you with big, loving eyes as you insert him, your brow furrowing at the slight pain, which fortunately subsides quickly. You stop when he's inside all the way, and you press your hand against his chest, trying to calm your breathing before proceeding.

“So hot, so good… so handsome.” His voice almost sounds like a growl as he whispers, his hand reaching out to cup your face. You lean down to give him a kiss, making sure you keep him deep inside you. There's no need to move, you simply enjoy being filled for the moment. He'd been inches away from his orgasm before, so he probably needs a breather anyway. 

Or so you thought. His hands move down to hold your hips as he thrusts up into you. You gasp against his lips, opening your eyes halfway to look at his desperate face. 

“Jo – oel…” You push yourself up, pressing your hands against his chest, his hips still moving to thrust into you. His legs are bent up behind you, so you hold onto his knees as you bounce in the rhythm he started. Your moans get stuck in your throat, the feeling unbearable. 

“It feels so good to love you… Hah…” He stops moving himself, his gasping breath heavy. You move more slowly, choosing your own pace. His hands caress your inner thighs for a brief moment, until he wraps one of them around your cock, which had been bouncing up and down along with you. 

“Mh – Jesus.” You gasp, biting your lower lip as you close your eyes. Joel is watching your every move, you can feel his gaze on you. He loves to watch you become an absolute mess, your hole getting tighter and tighter the closer you get to your orgasm.

You speed things up, circling your hips from time to time to try to get a break from the overwhelming feeling of his dick drilling into your sweet spot. His hand, wrapped tightly around your cock, moves painfully slowly. Sometimes he strokes his thumb over the head, spreading the leaking pre-cum all over it.

It's the best feeling ever, the two of you slowly losing your minds together as you inch towards your impending orgasms. The air is filled with pants, moans and hushed whispers from both of you.

You stop for a second, trying to catch your breath and not come too early, but Joel just sits up and wraps his arms around your waist, cupping your ass to bounce you faster on his dick.

“Hah… I’m so close, please don’t drag this out so long.” His voice is hushed and filled with a rush to get you to come as well. You hum and moan as you wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your face into it. The knot on the belt around your waist finally comes undone. The robe now hangs only on your forearms, the rest of the cloth draped over your lower back.

His cock is constantly brushing against or full-on hitting your sweet spot, and you can't take it much longer. Your vision goes white as you reach your orgasm, painting both your stomachs with your ejaculate, your body tensing around him as he releases inside you at the same time. His moans and heavy breaths are close to your ear, your own sounds muffled as you keep your face pressed into the arm that's wrapped around his neck.

“I love you so much, Space Boy.” He softly whispers as he breathes heavily, caressing your head and back as he kisses the side of your head.

“I love you, too.” You answer muffled, still holding on tightly, not wanting to let him go. It's finally the way it should be as you share this embrace. It all started with a vengeful kiss, only to blossom into a beautiful relationship.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

OK DAAAAAMN

im in love with this fic EVERYTHING IS SO CUTE AND SO TENSE AND SO HOT AND--

i cant. @pedritofics youre an artist in every way of the word. period.

ily ted.

Lying eyes – Part 3

“Is it true that you and Joel are…” she begins, sounding a little uncertain before whispering the last part, “…gay?”

You never thought you'd have to lie to your daughter about something like this in your life, but here you are, wondering if you should be honest with her.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 14k words

Warnings: adultery, christianity, young!Joel Miller, SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, fic takes place in mid 2000s, non-outbreak AU, reader is married and has a daughter, top! Joel Miller, bot! Reader, no use of Y/N

To part 1 — To part 2 — To part 3 — To part 4

“Is it true that you and Joel are…” she begins, sounding a bit uncertain before whispering the last part, “…gay?”

“No. Wh – … What made you think that?” You respond. Your eyes dart to the left before frowning as you study her expression, a slight panic spreading through your body as your stomach sinks, expecting the worst. There's a slight gleam in her eyes before they look down.

“Well… Mom wouldn't stop calling you two some… pretty tasteless words while speeding down the highway. Actually, she wouldn't stop talking at all, even when I tried to say something. She just kept going on and on about how disgusted she was by you and Joel being “lovey-dovey” – her words, not mine – and kept cussing you out in front of me. I just wanted her to shut up… And then she randomly told me that she's pregnant.”

“Huh. So she did.” Nodding, you think about what to say in this situation. You take a deep breath and rub your hand over your face.

“Did you know?” She reaches for your arm, her eyes staring at you.

You nod, trying not to overshare, and put your hand on hers. She's too young to go through all this anyway. But you need to know what else Bridget hasn't been able to hold in. So you ask in a quiet voice, “Did she say anything else?”

“Well, yes. She said it is my half-sibling. Like I said, she wouldn't stop talking, it actually scared me a lot…” She shudders a little at the memory.

“Come here.” You pull her in for a tight hug. “I'm sorry you had to go through that, Star. Thank you for talking to me about these things.”

She is silent for a moment, hugging you gently. You rub her back.

“Thank you.” Her voice is soft, muffled by your shoulder.

After a while, she stops hugging you.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?” You ask as your head tilts to the side.

“By the way… if. And only if you did happen to have feelings for my best friend's Dad… I wouldn't mind.” A mischievous grin tugs at the corners of her lips.

“Star.” You give her an annoyed look, realizing what she had just started.

“No, I mean it! I'd love to be Sarah's sister, she's the best. And Joel's ok too, I guess.”

“Alright, enough.” You roll your eyes and get up from the couch, hiding a small smile as you turn away from her. “Let's get ready for bed.”

“Noooooo, please tell me about your crush.” She stands up on the couch, jumping from one leg to the other. “I can tell you about mine if you tell me about yours.”

A sigh escapes your lips, you're already tired, so her usual playful teasing gets to you faster than usual. It's not because she's completely right in her assumption. She's pushed you so far that you're actually using your secret technique to get her to stop. By saying her first name in a stern tone. “Rosa. Bed.”

“Oh crap – ok, sorry, I won't say any more.” She gets off the couch and kisses you on the cheek before running upstairs to her bedroom.

“Good night!” You shout after her.

Before the door to her bedroom closes, you hear a faint reply. “Good night! Have some sweet dreams about Joel, Space Boy!”

With your mouth wide open, you're left standing there all alone, dumbfounded.

When did she grow up to be so cheeky with her old man?

You shake your head and look out the window, noticing a new car parked on the side of the road near your house.

Maybe one of the neighbors just got a new car. 

You shrug and head upstairs after turning off the lights and locking the front door.

The divorce process takes much longer than you'd hoped. Bridget's idiotic action actually gets her in big trouble. The judge gives you and Rosa a restraining order against her in case she tries something similar again before her trial for kidnapping Rosa.

Even though this is a difficult time for you, you try your best to comfort your daughter as much as you can. She seems to be struggling a lot more, she doesn't have her usual energy and some days she even loses her appetite. But there's nothing an early birthday present and some father-daughter time can't fix. Her smile begins to make more appearances as time goes on.

During Bridget's trial, Rosa expresses that she no longer feels comfortable with her mother, voicing her inner thoughts and feelings about how Bridget's actions have affected her. She'd talked to you about this before the trial, too, and you'd encouraged her to be as truthful as possible when the time came.

Still, it felt strange to see her play all the cards in front of Bridget in court. You swear you could see your soon-to-be ex-wife's heart break as she testified. Oddly enough, you feel sorry for her. The hammer falls: Her sentence is 20 years.

She'll have a lot of time to think about what she did. The time in court with her isn't over for you, though. There have been some disagreements between you and Bridget over property that will have to be settled in court.

As the days and weeks pass, you notice the car you'd seen parked in front of your house, the one you'd dismissed as your neighbor's, everywhere. It feels like it's following you. But you don't really have much time to think about it, your own head is filled with the things going on around you.

Work keeps you busy, the final stretch of finalizing the divorce with Bridget is painfully close, so weekends are the only days you can relax and enjoy time with your daughter. She seems to be doing better after all of this, accepting her mother's absence and enjoying her time with her friends and with you.

You're glad you gave her the flip phone early. She texts you from time to time when she's out with her friends. And it always makes you laugh because she just sends the most random things she can think of.

It still takes you a while to get used to Bridget's absence. You miss her, you miss the woman she used to be. It's a kind of empty feeling, but it's followed by a certain pride and contentment. This bittersweet feeling follows you everywhere you go, like a loyal dog.

The Miller house always welcomes you and Rosa with open arms when things get unbearable. Sarah is as lively as ever. And then there's Joel. He plays the whole “just friends” part amazingly well.

To everyone else, it looks like there's nothing going on between the two of you. And there's some truth to that. The two of you are keeping your promise to wait at least until the divorce goes through. But the feelings you have for each other are still there.

And it's killing you.

The movie nights at his place have changed over time. Rosa and Sarah have joined you, which is probably for the best. You've fantasized about sitting alone with him, watching movies with a couple of beers in your system. It always ends with you needing a cold shower to cool off.

Tonight is one of those nights when you're glad you're not alone anymore. As you prepare some snacks, you find yourself alone in the kitchen with him. His gentle smile has an underlining longing to it. But so does yours. You exchange glances from time to time, your gaze wandering between his eyes, lips, and hands.

As you rinse the cutlery you used to eat a beautiful take-out dinner, the towel you reach for falls to the floor. You groan as you reach for it and catch a glimpse of him looking at your ass as you bend down to pick it up. He clears his throat before returning to his snack preparations. A smirk spreads across your face as you finish drying the last fork and store it in the drawer.

“Space Boy, what do you think about taking the girls to see Shrek 2 next weekend?” The smell of homemade popcorn fills the air as he pours it into a large bowl.

You laugh. You find the idea of Joel watching Shrek, of all movies very amusing.

“Shrek 2? Are you serious?” You gently close the drawer and hang the towel on the handle.

“Yes. I am. The first one was hilarious.” In a deadly serious voice, he crosses his arms before raising an eyebrow. “Are you too good for Shrek 2?”

“No, no. Not at all. Just didn’t think you’d like it, that’s all.” 

“Isn't my whole thing that I love trashy movies?” He grabs the large bowl of popcorn and another smaller bowl of M&Ms.

“True. I'm sorry.” You grab the soda bottles he left out on the counter and follow him into the living room.

“Ah, the two knights in shining armor. Art thou ready to watch this?” Rosa blinks dramatically as she holds up the VHS box of Robin Hood, starring Kevin Costner. Joel still had old VHS tapes and the player at home. He didn't see the point of buying DVDs of movies he already owned.

“Yes, milady, but we need to, uh… get the beer from the… icebox.” You curtsy and place the bottles on the couch table.

Sarah and Rosa burst into laughter.

You leave them, smiling crookedly to yourself as you shake your head. When you take the two bottles of beer out of the fridge, the glass is cold in your hand. You close the fridge with your foot and make your way out of the kitchen, only to bump into Joel.

“Oof.” You almost lose your balance as you stumble back a little. Joel grabs your arm to keep you from falling back.

“Steady there. Don’t want the beer bottles to fall and spray everywhere.” He smiles, maybe holding on to your arm a little too long. Your glance lingers on his lips, noticing the slight twitch.

I wish I could kiss him right now.

You clear your throat and nod, “Thanks. I'd hate to have to clean up that mess.”

He finally lets go of your arm and rubs his palms over the fabric of his shirt.

“Got clammy hands, Miller?” You grin before stepping around him and heading back out of the kitchen to the girls. He joins you a minute later with four glasses, stepping around the guitar standing next to the couch. Sarah is rewinding the tape since the previous person who watched it forgot to do so.

“Do you need a bottle opener?” Joel asks as he sits down on the couch next to you and puts the glasses on the couch table.

“Nah, don't worry, I got it.” You wrap your thumb around the neck of the bottle, leaving about a thumb's worth of space between it and the cap, and use the top of the other bottle to open the first bottle. The cap falls to the floor. You put the open bottle on the table in front of you and pick up the cap.

“Impressive. Now, how are you going to open the second one?” His head tilts slightly to the side as he raises an eyebrow. Rosa watches you with amusement as Sarah continues to stare at the TV, waiting for the tape to rewind. You look around and notice a small remote, which you pick up and use with the same technique as before to open the second bottle.

With an even bigger grin on your face, you hold out the second bottle for Joel to take. He whistles and nods once before grabbing it and taking a big gulp.

“I don't know why you're so impressed, Dad. I've seen you open two bottles by kicking them together.” Sarah observes dryly, getting up from her spot on the floor as the tape is finished rewinding.

Joel chokes on his beer, which gets a laugh out of Rosa and Sarah. The girls share a knowing look before staring at him.

“I, er – I don't know how to – how to open them up like that, though.” He stammers, his cheeks turning a shade redder. You smile to yourself and grab your own bottle from the couch table.

“It’s called flirting, Sarah.” Rosa taunts you as she sticks her tongue out at you.

This time, it's you who's choking on the beer. 

“Rosa!” You choke out, spilling some of the drink on your sleeve.

“Whaaaaat? Oh my God, Rosa, you're right!” Sarah gasps, covering her mouth with both hands.

“Alright, you two. Enough goofing around, or we're gonna have to cut this movie night short.” Joel threatens, grabbing a napkin and handing it to you.

“Aw, you’re no fun.” Rosa protests as you wipe the beer from the sleeve of your shirt.

“Fine.” Sarah rolls her eyes and turns around.

You get up from the couch one last time to turn off the lights as Sarah hits play on the VCR player. Both girls make themselves comfortable on the floor with some blankets and pillows, so you join Joel on the couch.

He covers your lap with part of the blanket he's using himself, his eyes darting between the girls to make sure they're not looking before he slips his hand under it and secretly holds your hand underneath.

You intertwine your fingers with his, feeling his rough skin against your fingertips as they brush over his callouses.

The movie is fine.

You finish your beer rather quickly, which sends it straight to your head, your whole body now feeling fuzzy. Joel's hand squeezes yours tighter at an embarrassing moment. A smile spreads across your face. Out of the corner of your eye, you could swear you see a slight turn of Rosa's head. Your eyes peel away from the screen to look at her, but when you do, her head is turned to watch the screen.

With your free hand, you reach for some popcorn and snack on it.

Kevin Costner is not exactly the person you had in mind to play Robin Hood. And the fact that he doesn't even try to fake a British accent actively bugs you. But the story is your regular old Robin Hood tale. Guy steals money from the rich, has a love interest, shoots an arrow through another arrow. It's nothing special, but it's fun.

And yet, just like clockwork, the moment the movie starts to get interesting, you nod off, the conversations coming from the television muffled as your eyes involuntarily close. It's hard to stay present and awake. Your body, as well as your eyelids, feel extremely heavy.

It's a battle between you and sleep as they fight on the screen in front of you. And you lose that battle. Your body relaxes and you miss the end of the movie, only waking up when Joel gently shakes you.

When you wake up, you take a deep breath through your nose and keep your head leaning against whatever soft thing it's resting on.

“Space Boy…” Joel whispers close to your ear as he tries to wake you up.

“Hm…” You finally open your eyes. Your head is resting on Joel's shoulder, so you quickly straighten up and blink as you look around.

Rosa and Sarah are lying on the floor, asleep. You let out a sigh of relief before stretching your arms into the air.

“Sorry I fell asleep, Joel…” You apologize quietly so as not to wake the girls.

“It's alright.” He chuckles softly before adding in a whisper, “I've gotten used to it.”

“At least I wasn't the only one this time.” Smiling, you get up from the couch.

“Yep. They've been out cold about the same time as you.” He stands up, too, and switches on the standing light next to him and turns off the TV with the remote.

“I should probably head home. I can't sleep over tonight.” You gather the glasses and empty snack bowls as quietly as possible, then take them to the kitchen.

“Rosa can stay, though.” He comes into the room after you, holding the two empty beer bottles.

“Are you sure?” You turn to look at him and take a step back to keep your distance.

He smiles and nods before setting the bottles down next to the sink, the sleeves of his shirt riding up his bicep a little as he does so. “I'm sure Rosa would want to stay.”

You gulp down your spit before answering with a forced voice, “Yeah, you're right.”

His head is slightly lowered, wiping his hands on the towel you'd hung up earlier, his eyes glancing up and down at you as his smile fades. He clenches his jaw and thinks about convincing you to stay with him. Just for tonight.

You bite your lower lip nervously, your heart racing in your chest.

“I'll get going, then…” you mutter quietly as you make your way to the front door. You grab your jacket off the hook and unlock the door with your other hand.

You put your jacket on.

Joel accompanies you, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. You step outside. The air is a little chilly. Just as you turn to say goodbye, a slight reflection catches your eye. There is that damn car again. And it's blocking half of Joel's driveway. You turn to Joel with a frown on your face.

“Joel. Please be careful.”

He shakes his head in confusion, frowning. “Yep?”

“Don't be too obvious, but do you see that car blocking your driveway? I've seen it parked around for weeks, maybe even months, but I've never seen anyone get in or out of it. Yet it always seems like it's there, kinda just waiting for me.”

Joel's gaze shifts for a second as he crosses his arms.

“If that car really is following you, I'm not too comfortable with you walking home alone.”

“I'm more worried that it's waiting for the perfect time to take Rosa…”

He remains silent for a short while, one side of his mouth pulling to the side as he thinks.

“I'll check if someone is in the car and ask them to move it. You go on home.”

You nod. “Thanks, Joel. Good night, see you tomorrow.”

“See ya, Space Boy. Let me know when you get home. And lock your doors.” With that, he pulls the keys out of the inside of the door and shuts it behind him. You make your way home, always looking back to keep an eye out for him. Your stomach turns with every step you take.

Joel walks toward the car with his hands in his pockets. When he's almost close enough to knock on the tinted windows, the headlights come on and the car drives off in the opposite direction you're going.

You stop and look at Joel and wave. He waves back, standing on the sidewalk watching you walk home. With the car out of sight, you breathe a sigh of relief and continue walking.

You get home safely and make sure to lock the front door twice before sending him a message.

That night is filled with nightmares of that car kidnapping Rosa and Sarah. You toss and turn as you run after it in your sleep. No matter how fast you try to run, your legs move as if you're just learning to walk. You're just about to catch up to the car, which stops at an abandoned mall.

There's gunfire. As you look in the direction of the sound, you see Joel lying on the ground, bleeding to death.

Your eyes shoot open as you sit up in bed. With a pounding heart and heavy breathing, you grab the covers and stare at the blanket. Seeing him on the floor, his eyes staring at you lifelessly, makes you afraid of losing him without telling him how you really feel about him.

Bridget could hire someone to assassinate him.

You shake the thought out of your mind. She wouldn't do such a thing. Even though she's done some questionable things recently. Besides, she's in jail and broke. You sigh and rub your hands over your face.

After calming down, you are able to fall back asleep.

Some time passes, days come and go. You go to the movies with the girls and Joel to see Shrek 2, and it isn't half bad. You're still stressed about the whole situation, your sleep is light, and your stomach hurts ever since Rosa was kidnapped, so you've started taking medication for anxiety. Thankfully, there have been no new sightings of the car, and the divorce between you and Bridget will finally be finalized next week.

That is, until this afternoon, when you begin to feel followed again.

A red car pulls up behind you and parks in front of your house, next to your driveway, as you return home from grocery shopping.

The thing that jumps out at you is that it has dark, tinted windows, just like the other car. Maybe it's here to finally take you out. But it's not the same car, so it could just be your paranoia acting up. You watch it for a while as you unload the car and notice that you never saw anyone get out of it. Keeping it in your line of sight, you notice Denise walking across the street on her way home.

“Hey, Denise!” You wave to get her attention. She stops and smiles at you.

“Hello!” She waves back.

You run towards her, still making sure not to let the car out of your sight.

“Listen, I know this is an odd question, but do you know whose car that is?” You point at it as you ask her.

“No, but I've seen it around lately.” After she turns to look at it, its engine starts and it drives off.

“That...was weird.”

“It was.” Her eyes squint as they follow the car.

“Shit. I shoulda written down the license plate in case I see it again.”

She quickly pulls out her mobile phone and hits the buttons on the keypad. “I think I remember, just a sec.”

“Oh, that's good. Could you send me what you remember then?”

“On it. And I'll be keeping an eye out too. I don't want anything to happen to the kids.”

“Yeah... We should ask people to do the same then.”

“Will do, I'll put up some flyers.”

“Thanks, Denise. I'll see you around.”

“See you.” She gives a little wave before heading home.

As the rest of the day passes, you notice some flyers warning the neighbors about the car appearing on the light posts outside. When Rosa comes home from school in the late afternoon, she asks you about them.

“Dad, have you seen the papers on the light posts all the way down the street to the cul-de-sac?” She takes off her shoes.

“I sure did. I talked to Denise about a car hanging around the neighborhood, and she came up with the idea.”

“Oh, that's kinda scary...” She hangs her jacket by the front door.

“Yep. Don't forget you can always call me or the police if anything bad happens, that's why you have your phone.”

“Hah, yeah. I think I'm slowly running out of credit though...”

“Ok, I'll get you some tomorrow after work. Make sure you don't spend any more until then, you can use the landline to call Sarah, I promise I won't listen in.” You cross your heart as you walk into the kitchen.

“Thanks, Dad.” She follows you and grabs an apple from the fruit bowl before washing it and giving you a peck on the cheek.

You do as you promised and buy her some credits for her phone on your way home from work the next day. Denise calls to tell you that some people have seen the car parked in front of Joel's and your house, which worries you, but you yourself don't see it anymore.

It's been three days since you last saw the car. And the weekend makes you even more excited about the coming week, because it may be the last time you'll have to go to court.

Just as you're leaving Mass that Sunday with Rosa, Pastor Jorge walks up to you and beckons you over.

“Excuse me, son. Could I have a moment of your time?” He fakes a smile, trying to remain professional in front of everyone.

“I'm sorry, Pastor, but I must be going.” You answer coldly, holding onto Rosa's shoulders as you try to leave the church with her.

He grabs your arm and stops you. “Please. It's important.”

You think for a minute and sigh, “... Fine. Rosa, wait for me with Mrs. Adler, I'll be right back.”

He guides you to his makeshift bureau in the church.

“Please, take a seat.” He gestures to the chair in front of his desk before sitting down in the chair behind it. Behind him, a huge painting of the Son of God looms over him, as if judging him for his mistakes.

You pull the chair back and sit down, your anger rising the longer you look at his face. He opens the drawer of his desk and searches for something.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“This.” He pulls out an envelope and takes out a stack of photos, placing them on the desk. Your confusion clears when you pick them up and look through them. They're photos of you, taken from inside a car. They're stalker pictures, basically. Some are of you hanging out with Rosa. With Rosa and Sarah. And finally with Joel.

The majority of them are actually of you and Joel. But they're all neutral. You get to the pictures of the night you watched the Robin Hood movie over at his place. How you're sleeping with your head on his shoulder while he's just watching TV.

“I don't understand. What are these?” You frown as you drop the pile of printed papers on the desk in front of you.

“I must apologize.” He retrieves the stack and slides it back into the envelope before folding his hands in front of his face.

“Yeah, tell me something I don't know.” You jab at him.

“I see the irony there. But no, that ain’t the only thing I need to apologize for.”

“Then spit it out. I don’t have all day, Pastor.”

“You see, Bridget contacted me from prison. She insisted that I hire a personal investigator on her behalf. To investigate your... relationship with Joel. Now, I know. I shouldn't have done it, but you have to understand, she was really persistent.”

His shoulders tense a little before he continues, “Nothing the P.I. brought back indicates anything going on between the two of you. I'm sure Bridget was just grasping at straws, so you needn't worry any further, I've called off the private investigator.”

You clench your jaw as your face slowly displays the anger that's been building in your chest and spreading throughout your body.

“You have the gull to hire a P.I. to stalk me when you know Bridget and I are getting a divorce because of your doing?!”

“… I am truly, very sorry. For the pain I’ve caused you and your family.” 

You let out a snort of derision as you stand up to leave, but pause before opening the door.

“Before I leave. I just wanted to gently remind you that I could ruin your career in a heartbeat. Don't forget the position you're in, Pastor.” With that out of your system, you open the door and leave the church, looking for Rosa outside.

She's standing by the cars with Mrs. Adler, looking a little bored as the older woman keeps talking about something.

“There you are, dear!” Mrs. Adler's smile fades as soon as she sees your expression.

“What happened, Dad?” Rosa perks up and walks over to you. You take a deep breath and try to smile.

“Everything's fine, Star. Thank you for looking after her while I was away.” You gently touch Rosa's arm and nudge her toward your car.

“Dear, are you sure everything's alright?” Mrs. Adler tries to get anything out of you, shouting after you.

“Yes, don't worry, Mrs. Adler. Have a nice Sunday.”

Thankfully, she stops asking questions, but Rosa remains worried and waits until the two of you are in the car.

“What did Pastor Jorge want?” She asks as she fastens her seat belt. The rhythmic hum of the engine begins with the turn of the key. You remain silent, keeping your eyes on the road as you drive home.

“Dad? Did you not hear me?” She inquires once more.

With a wounded voice, you try to keep it together as you pull into the street where you live, “I did. I just... can't answer. I'm sorry, Star. Please give me time.”

“Alright... But don't make me call Joel again.” Her tone worried.

“Don't worry.” You park in the driveway of your house and pull the handbrake after you've turned off the engine.

“I'll be inside.” She kisses your cheek and caresses your arm before leaving you on your own in the car. You hold on to the steering wheel and rest your forehead against it, making sure to take deep breaths. The grip you have on the wheel makes an audible sound as the leather is pressed against the hard plastic underneath.

Minutes pass. But your anger lingers under your skin, like some leeches wriggling just below the surface. You need to get away from it all for a day.

As the motor of the car starts, you keep your foot on the clutch, grab your phone and call Rosa. She picks up within seconds, having probably been waiting for you to come into the house for a while.

“Hello? Dad?”

“Star, please call Joel and head over there. I'll be back later.”

“What –” You hang up and shift into gear to back out of the driveway. Rosa runs out of the house, watching you leave.

Your phone keeps ringing as you drive through streets with buildings on either side, the landscape soon changing to ranches and fields with various shrubs and trees. You pull into a parking lot next to a popular hiking trail and park.

As you take a deep breath, your phone rings once more, so you finally look to see who's calling. It's Joel.

You grab the phone and take the call, holding it to your ear as you get out of the car and walk down a trail you've been on before.

“Space Boy? Is everything alright?”

Hearing his voice calms you down a bit. As you continue walking, you take a deep breath and press the palm of your lower hand to your forehead.

“No, Joel. I’m fucking furious.”

“Did he answer?” You hear Rosa's voice asking in the background.

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” He answers her question. Your feet just keep walking, the sun pleasantly warming your skin.

“Ok, I'm alone now. What happened?” Joel's voice is full of concern.

You let out a frustrated huff. “Where do I start?”

“Why don't you start with what made you so upset?”

“Alright…” You take a deep breath, taking in the woody scents around you to calm yourself and collect your thoughts before continuing, “Remember I told you about the car that was following me a couple of weeks ago?”

“Yeah, the car that just drove off before I got to it?”

“Exactly that one. It was a personal investigator trying to get pictures of us.”

“What – Who would hire a P.I. to do that?”

“Pastor Jorge did so. At Bridget's request. After Mass, he pulled me aside to show them to me and apologize for what he'd done. What a fucking joke.”

Joel sighs on the other end of the call.  “Where are you right now?”

“I'm down by that hiking trail I told you about. I'm so mad, I just need to walk it off…” You stop and look around, suddenly not recognizing where you are. “Shit.”

“Shit?”

“I might’ve taken the wrong path.” You start retracing your steps, going back the way you came. 

“Space Boy, one of these days you're gonna give me a heart attack. Do you think you'll be able to find your way back?”

“Yeah, there's usually an intersection with three different paths, I guess I went the wrong way.…” As you say this, you come to an intersection, the familiar path making you feel relieved.

“Hello? You still there?”

“Yep! Sorry, Joel. I found the right way, I’ll be heading back home.” 

“Thank fuck. Stay safe out there. And come straight to my place, please. Tonight, Rosa and you are staying over.”

“But –”

“No buts or ifs.”

You sigh and smile to yourself. “Fine.”

“See you soon.”

“See you soon…” You reply before hanging up.

The day has finally come. You're a free man, and you get to keep custody of Rosa. Bridget's kidnapping only helped you in the divorce, since she'd gone against the previously agreed upon custody plans and put your child in active danger by fleeing the police at high speed. You also get to keep the house and your car. Not that you'd grown to dislike your dream house, but being able to see Rosa was your top priority in this case.

There were also rumors that Pastor Jorge was transferring to another church, which made you laugh when you first heard about it.

With what little energy you have left, you make your way to the Millers' house, where Rosa has been staying during the finalization of the divorce. You tug lightly on your tie to loosen it around your neck as you ring the doorbell. You roll your shoulder a bit as you massage it with your free hand.

The door swings open and Rosa jumps at you, hugging you tightly.

“Dad!” She smiles happily as she looks at your face.

Even though you're completely drained, you manage to smile back at her in a more sincere way than you originally thought possible. Joel and Sarah stand behind Rosa in the doorway, curious about how it all ended.

“Hey guys. Good news, it's finally done and Rosa is staying with me.”

You notice a hint of excitement in Joel's expression that makes your stomach flutter. This feeling has become unbearable for you, the exhaustion in your bones only adding to it.

“This is great! We should celebrate together tonight.” Joel suggests.

Rosa finally lets go of you and walks back inside, waiting for you to follow her. You snicker and walk in after her with slow, heavy steps.

“Sure, but let's not overdo it, I'm really exhausted from everything.” You remove your suit jacket and hang it up. Sarah and Rosa sit on the leather couch in the living room and chat excitedly.

Joel gestures with his head to follow him into the kitchen as he speaks, “Of course, Space Boy. What would you like for supper, though? Takeout? My homemade chicken fajitas?”

“Uh, the fajitas. They’re my favorite.” You lean against the kitchen counter after following him into the room. He stares out the window as he stands by the fridge, his hand resting on the handle. You watch him, wondering what he's thinking about. There are steps heading upstairs, Rosa and Sarah must have gone up to Sarah's room.

In a quiet tone, he begins asking you, “Space Boy, do you think… we could work out together?” He walks toward you, his expression pained.

Your gaze remains fixed on his eyes. He places his hands on the kitchen counter behind you, one on each side, to get as close to you as possible.

“I… I think it could. But –” Your heart aches, but it starts to beat like crazy in your chest. You can feel his breath brushing against your skin, and you feel the blood rushing to your face.

Being in Joel's presence is intoxicating. You want to spend more time with him, kiss him and more, but inside you're still in pain from Bridget. His thumb softly brushes against your hand, as if to ask permission to kiss you, his other hand reaches for your tie and gently pulls at it.

“But I need more time, Joel.” A shudder runs through your body as you look at him with lidded eyes. He steps back with his hands in the air, his face not as close to yours as before.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I thought… since you’re finally divorced…”

“No, please don’t take this the wrong way. I'd love to. But I’m… I’m so done.” Your shoulders slump as you spit out these words, “I need some time to heal.”

He remains silent for a second, caressing your cheek before sighing, “Ok. I'll wait.”

“Thank you…” You frown and rub the left side of your chest, it starts to feel tighter, “I... I'm sorry, I think I need some time to calm down... I don't feel too well all of a sudden.”

“Here, sit down.” Joel pulls out a chair and helps you sit down, grabs a glass and pours you a fresh cup of water. You take a few deep breaths, your head spinning at the slightest movement, but as soon as you drink some water and focus more on your breathing, it calms down.

“Yeah, I won't be staying too long tonight.” You chuckle, feeling every fiber of your being screaming for some rest.

“I get it. You looked like you were just dragging yourself around the last few weeks.” He starts to prepare the food so you won't have to wait too long, marinating the chicken while he chops the different colored peppers, onions, garlic, and the rest of the vegetables for the fajitas.

“I’ll get out of your way.” When you're able to stand, you get up and lie down on the couch. Your body feels heavy when you do, an involuntary nap forcing itself upon you.

You wake up to the girls coming down the stairs. A wonderful smell of freshly cooked food fills the air.

“Space Boy, food’s ready.” Joel comes out of the kitchen, a towel slung over his shoulder as he clicks the tongs in his hand.

The food is absolutely delicious, and thankfully the nap gave you enough energy to walk home afterward.

The date is October 6th, 2005.

It's been a year and a half since you finally became single. Rosa and Sarah turned 16 this year, and you, like Joel, are dreading the big 4 approaching in two years.

“We're gonna be late for the concert if you don't hurry!” She stands by the door with her arms crossed.

“I’ll be right there! You can get the car started, I'll be right there!” You quickly throw on a denim jacket that was gathering dust in the back of your closet. Rosa had surprised you with some Santana tickets for his Embrace Your Light Tour and an overnight stay in a hotel near the arena, which she made you book and pay for yourself. It's an hour and a half drive to the SBC Center in San Antonio. Since Rosa wanted to be the driver with her freshly obtained license, you would have to leave sooner than if you were behind the steering wheel.

The revving of the car's engine cuts through the chirping of birds. Rosa gestures that you'll be late again by pointing at her wrist. You get into the passenger seat and fasten your seatbelt.

“Did you bring the tickets?” You ask as she starts to back out of the driveway. The car stops abruptly.

“Shit, I didn’t!”

You get out of the car and run back inside, grabbing both tickets from the coffee table and making it back to the car in record time.

“Let's go, come on.” You place the tickets on the dashboards before quickly buckling your seat belt.

“Ok, ok. Eh, nobody’s behind me, I can go. I think.” She frantically looks between the rearview and side mirrors to make sure there's no one behind her, and starts driving when she's sure she can get out.

You help her with the directions, and soon she parks the car, albeit a little crookedly, in the parking lot of the arena. You take the tickets and put them in your pocket. Rosa gets out of the car and walks with you slowly towards the building, checking her phone once.

There are a lot of people around, heads bobbing up and down as they walk in the same direction. You feel a tug on your sleeve.

“Dad, I saw Joel and Sarah over there.” Rosa points in a general direction of the crowd, holding onto your arm to prevent being separated from you.

“What? Oh my God, I didn't know they were coming! Joel!” You yell, smiling as you spot him. Throwing your hand in the air, you wave it from side to side, trying to get his attention.

His head turns in your direction, and when he notices you after scanning the crowd, his face lights up. A big smile is plastered on your face as you slowly make your way to you, walking around groups of people who are blocking everyone's way. 

“And you still expect me to believe that you don’t have feelings for him?” Rosa remarks sarcastically before they finally reach you. You look at her with a bored expression, noticing her mischievous look.

“Star, I’ve told you countless times already… — Hi! Joel, Sarah! What a coincidence to run into you two!”

“This is no coincidence at all! We planned this, hehe!” Sarah grins before giving Rosa a big hug.

“You little shits.” Joel puts both hands on his hips in disbelief before reaching out to shake your hand.

“Well, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I talked to Rosa about inviting you both, since I'm pretty sure you like Santana, but she convinced me not to. Makes sense why now.” You smile at Joel, both girls now walking ahead of you to the line of people waiting to get in.

He stands next to you, looking around excitedly. You can read his emotions pretty well by now, and whenever he gets this excited, his eyes get a gleam in them.

“I do have to admit, I think I'm going to enjoy this a lot.” He mumbles, his lips forming a small smile.

“Maybe it’ll motivate you enough to finally pick up that guitar that’s been gathering dust in your living room.” You scoff and nudge him with your elbow.

“As if! I practice regularly.” He crosses his arms defensively. “Are you sure? I’ve never seen you play before.”

“Well, that’s because I don’t like playin’ in front of other people.”

“I’d still love to hear you play something on it once, though.” 

He frowns and thinks before nodding. 

“Aight. Next time you’re over, I’m playing and singing you a song.” 

“Oh, how nice. My own private concert.” You laugh. 

Your group makes it through the front doors after showing your tickets to the guards at the ticket booths, and you make your way into the crowd of people standing around waiting for the show to begin.

When it does, you stare up at the stage in awe as you watch Santana skillfully strumming his guitar. That is, until the girls have to take a bathroom break.

“I told you to go to the bathroom before we left.” You hold on to Rosa's arm as she holds Sarah's hand, Joel right behind you as you walk to the back of the crowd, the bathroom signs glowing above the doors.

Rosa and Sarah go to the restroom, leaving you and Joel alone, waiting at the back of the arena, close to the door. A particular part of the song Santana is playing has the crowd screaming with excitement.

While his eyes remain focused on the stage, Joel's eyes light up. Your hand fidgets with the button of your sleeve. The denim behind it feels a little cold against your fingertips, your attention on him instead of the show. The soft light from the front highlights his features. His beautiful eyes and his enthralled expression.

The concert is fun and all that, but for you, the highlight is seeing him. It's like he's looking at his lifelong dream, and you get to witness that moment all to yourself. As the music slows down and the two of you are in a more private place, you feel the urge to kiss him.

The moment just feels right. 

You pull Joel's arm, drawing his attention away from the stage, and kiss him as the lights dim around you. His lips are hot and soft against yours. You wrap your arms around him, and his arms wrap around your waist.

When he pulls away from the kiss, your gazes meet. You stare into each other's eyes for a moment that feels like it could last a lifetime. The beating of your heart is louder than the drums in the song.

“Joel. I love you.” You gently smile. “I –  I love you, too, Space Boy.” His arms wrap tighter around you, and he kisses you again. The moment feels intimate, even though there is a crowd of people around. Their focus is on the performance and the music, not on you.

Rosa and Sarah shriek as they return from their adventure to the bathrooms and see this public display of affection, “Oh my God! Finally!” 

You pull away and hide your blushing face behind your hand, Joel scratches the back of his head while his other hand holds onto the fabric covering your arm. Rosa and Sarah don't waste any time and pull you and Joel into a big group hug.

“We’ve been waiting for sooooo long.” Sarah rolls her eyes dramatically before lightly punching Joel's arm.

Joel reaches for your hand, holding it tightly as you make your way back into the crowd, your other hand holding Rosa’s. 

The concert is over pretty late, but you are still full of energy as you drive to the Fairmount Hotel, where you have a room reservation. Rosa falls asleep in the passenger seat within seconds, giving you 15 minutes to think about what happened during the concert.

A warm and comforting feeling spreads through your stomach. You've finally told him how you feel after making him wait for two years.

“I’ll be damned.” You say as you drive up to the hotel and notice Joel's car parked right next to yours. They arrived almost at the same time as you, probably having taken a different road. “Rosa, wake up. We’re here.”

You get out of the car as Joel and Sarah lock theirs.

“Was this part of your plan, too?” You ask.

“Actually, this is pure coincidence.” Sarah answers sleepily.

Rosa finally gets out of the car and notices the pair standing next to you.

“This is so cool! Can we sleep in the same room?!” She asks with the biggest puppy eyes.

“Nope. Out of the question. You both are still underage, and you’ve been kidnapped in the past, young lady.” Your answer shoots out like a bullet from a revolver.

“Aw… what a shame.” 

Joel laughs before walking to the hotel's front desk. You check in and head for the stairs. Joel and Sarah's room is on the third floor, yours and Rosa's on the second. Tired and a little deaf from the loud music of the concert, the four of you walk up the stairs, stopping on the second floor to wish each other good night.

The beds in your room are comfortable. Rosa falls asleep immediately, her face buried in the blanket that covers her. You stare at the ceiling, your arms behind your head. Sleep is actively avoiding you as you think about Joel. You have to talk to him, ask him if he'd like to go out with you.

An hour passes, and you finally gain enough confidence to knock on his door. With soft, silent steps, you leave the hotel room, taking the key with you and locking the door behind you so no one can get in.

“Space Boy?” Joel’s hushed voice greets you as you’re halfway up the stairs to the third floor. 

“Joel?” You look up and see him standing a few steps ahead of you. 

“Did we have the same idea?” He laughs quietly, scratching the back of his head nervously.

“It depends. Were you also going to ask me out?” You chuckle. 

“I sure was.” He holds on to the handrail on the side, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

“Well, I guess that’s a yes from the both of us, then.” Relieved, you cross your arms, the air in the staircase colder than in the rooms.

“It is.”

You look around before taking the last few steps to stand at the same height.

“Talk tomorrow?” He asks before holding your hand.

“Talk tomorrow.” You smile and plant a kiss on his cheek.

“We’re going on a date this Saturday. I know a place outside of town that's wonderful for stargazing. Clear your schedule. Sarah and Rosa are staying with friends anyway.” He'd told you in secret the next morning before you left the hotel. The girls slept quite late, so you had time to talk to him briefly in the staircase.

You agreed in a heartbeat, finally allowing yourself to see him as more than just a friend. It made you really excited.

And today was finally the day.

“Star, you know Joel and I are going out tonight, but don't hesitate to call me if anything happens, or you need any help.” You walk up and down the house as you get ready, stopping at a mirror to check if you still look good or if you have just been cursed to be the ugliest creature in the world. Each time you check, you adjust your hair.

“Yes, Dad. I know. You need to learn how to relax, jeez. Also, you look fine.” Her head pokes through your bedroom door as she rolls her eyes.

“I'll relax when I know you're safe.” You adjust your shirt and follow her downstairs.

“And I will be.” She kisses your cheek as she slips into her jacket.

”You better. I don't want to see another scratch on my car, either.” You warn her jokingly.

“Aw, there goes my plan to drive into every mailbox I come across.” She blinks a few times as she pouts and starts putting on her shoes.

“Damaging other people's cars is more fun anyway. Do what I did when I was younger, kick off some side mirrors.”

She gasps dramatically, “Father!? I didn't know you were such a rule breaker.”

You laugh and pat her head.

“Love you, Dad. You two have fun tonight!” She hugs you tightly.

“I love you too, Star. And you, too. See you tomorrow.”

Rosa leaves the house around 5 in the afternoon. You sit on the couch, anxiously looking out the window, waiting for Joel. He picks you up in his pickup truck half an hour later.

“Hi, Space Boy. You ready?” He smiles at you as you get in and close the passenger door.

”I sure am! I’m excited to see the stars tonight, the forecast said we’d have clear skies.” You fasten your seatbelt.

“Well, I have a few other things planned besides stargazing, but I can't tell you any more than that.” He grins as he starts driving down the road.

He drives on some ranch roads and goes off-road at the end of the trip. Parking in the middle of an empty field, he quickly gets out.

“I’ll be right back, I need to set up the last few preparations.”

“Ok.” You stay in the car and watch him walk away.

“No peeking!” He yells when he notices your head turning to look at what he's doing outside.

“Fine!” You chuckle as you look up at the sky through the windshield. The sun has almost completely set, the horizon painted a warm orange that turns dark blue the higher you look.

Five minutes later, Joel knocks on your window before opening the passenger side door. You get out of the car and look around. He's set up a tent, filled with blankets and pillows, a backpack tucked inside one of the pockets.

“That's for later,” he says as he gently pushes you in front of him and leads you to the back of his pickup, “you're going to have to climb into the back of the truck.”

“I didn't know we were camping, I didn't bring anything!”

“Don't worry, I thought of everything.”

You frown before climbing into the back of the truck. A blanket is spread out on the back, held in place by a couple of six-packs of beer. Two pillows are placed against the rear panel.

“Come on. Lie down, I’ll grab us two beers already.”

You pick up the pillow and move it down a bit to get a good view of the sky. The first stars are already appearing. Joel lies down beside you after handing you an open can of beer.

“We’re a bit early, but this way we can see them appear one after another.” He notes before taking a sip of beer.

“I can already see the big dipper over there, actually.” You point to the seven brighter starts, tracing the general shape.

“Shit, I didn’t know you knew constellations.”

“Haha, I don’t. That's actually the only one I can point out. It's pretty easy to pinpoint out of all of them.”

“Huh. I should’ve gotten a map or somethin’ so we could look for them together.”

“I actually don’t think we need one. We can make up our own.” You drink some beer, holding your head up a bit so you don't spill it on yourself.

“That actually sounds like fun.” He looks around for a moment, thinking. You watch him for a bit before looking up to the sky yourself.

“I got something. You see that cluster of stars over there?” He points somewhere, and you move closer to his head to see where he's pointing.

“Yeah, I do.”

“If you connect them like this…” He traces an oval shape and a longer line that ends in a few dividing lines. “It’s a guitar!”

“Oh, I see it! That’s a nice one, let me try.” You look around, trying to find something good.

“Alright, this one is a bit stupid, if you connect those over there, it sorta looks like a turd. I’d like to name it Pastor Jorge.”

“Pff – You did not just call him a piece of shit.” He lets out a full belly laugh before sighing.

“I did.” You smile and look up at the sky. By now, the sky is completely dark, the lack of light around you allowing you to see every little glowing speck. You take a deep breath, smell the fresh air, and allow yourself to think of nothing.

“I think I found the guitar pick over there. That or it's the Illuminati.” He jokes, pointing to a cluster of stars forming a rounded triangle.

“I sense you’ve got a theme going. Hm… Oh! I found a little heart.”

You both fall silent for a while, just drinking a few cans of beer and enjoying each other's presence. And so hours go by, the air slowly getting colder.

“Joel, thank you for this. The view is beautiful…” You break the silence as you watch the stars flicker in the darkness of space.  

“It is.” Joel whispers.

When you turn your head to look at him, you realize that he's been staring at you the whole time.

“That was the corniest thing you've ever said to me. Ever.” You roll your eyes jokingly, but can't keep a creeping smile off your face.

He pushes himself up on his elbow, his hand caressing your cheek before leaning down and kissing you gently. You hum and close your eyes, reciprocating the kiss. It all feels so magical.

You roll towards him, your hand resting on his chest, and he pulls you closer to his body. Even though it's a bit cold, his body and his kiss warm your entire body, making you shiver with excitement as he deepens the kiss.

You find yourself pressing your body into his, seeking his touch and warmth. Your heart could jump out of your chest from the speed at which it is beating. The blood rushes to your face and slowly to a different part of your body.

“Fuck, I’d almost forgotten how great this feels…” You suck on his lower lip as a low groan rolls up your throat, pulling him closer as you wrap your arms around him. His hands explore your body over your clothes, your erection growing slowly.

“Let’s get into the tent, it’s getting a bit chilly out here.” He pants as he whispers close to your mouth after pulling away. You could feel how hard he was against your thigh, your need to finally get him out of his clothes taking over.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You push yourself up and climb out of the truck bed, making sure not to lose your footing. Joel follows you, grabbing your hand before leading you into the tent. Before letting go of your hand, he reaches into the tent and flips a switch that turns on some string lights that are wrapped around the poles that hold up the canvas of the tent.

There is something magical about these lights as you slowly climb into your temporary shelter for the night. You had taken off your shoes before entering, so as not to get any dirt on the blankets. The floor is soft, thanks to a thin but comfortable mattress underneath, and the tent itself is quite spacious.

You sit off to the side, hugging your knees to make room for Joel to sit inside as well. He zips up the flap of the tent.

“This is so cute, the lights look like stars you can touch.” You reach for one, feeling the cold, smooth glass against your fingertip.

“I’m glad you like it and that you didn’t peek into the back before we drove off.” His face has a softness to it, the dim light illuminating your favorite features. “The tent was half set up already, just so you wouldn’t have to wait too long.”

You shuffle to sit more comfortably. “I didn’t take you for such a romantic.”

A look of embarrassment washes over his face for a second before turning into an enamored one. “We never went on a proper date before, so…”

“Yeah, my bad. We’ll need to make up for the lost time, then.” You shuffle closer to him, resting your hand on his, before you whisper, “We can start by finishing what we started in the truck.”

His body shivers visibly. It makes you chuckle, and when you look into his eyes, his pupils are like a dark abyss you'd jump into without a second thought.

Without saying anything, he kisses you in the most tender and heartfelt way you've ever been kissed, his hand gripping your upper arm. He pushes you to lie down, making sure your head doesn't hit the floor too hard. Your hands hold on to him, pulling his weight to feel his body against yours.

The air in the tent quickly warms as he plants open-mouthed kisses on your neck, leaving you panting beneath him. Your pants tighten as your hands squeeze his ass, his cheeks soft and squishy as you knead them. A subtle motion of his hips as he pushes himself up on his elbows to look at you feels electrifying, causing him to start grinding against you, heavy pants falling from his lips.

Your fingers slowly undo the buttons on his shirt as you become harder from the friction of his jeans against yours. His breath mixes with yours before kissing you with tongue, the muscle tracing the edge of your front teeth for a second. Everything is back the way it's supposed to be. His touches and taste are intoxicating, making your head spin.

He begins undressing you, and soon you're both naked, your clothes clumped together in the corner of the tent. Joel sits up and pulls you up to sit between his legs, your back resting against his chest as his arms wrap around you to grab your erection, stroking it lazily with a loose grip. You feel his hard, twitching boner pressing against your lower back, making your stomach flutter with excitement.

Breathy moans escape your lips as you watch his hand rub you, he kisses the back of your neck. You grab his legs to ground yourself, resisting the urge to thrust into his fist.

“Did you ever jerk off thinking about me when we were just friends?” He whispers shamelessly, his hand tightening around the base of your cock. 

“N – No. I haven’t jerked off since we – hah –  got caught by Bridget, to be honest.” You gasp as he moves his hand up your shaft in a drawn out, aching motion.

“Then it’s about time. I could see how stressed you’ve been the past year, let me help you relax…” He softly blows some air behind your ear, making you shiver.

“Fuck – But if you get me off right away, you’ll need to wait for me to recover…” 

“Hm, you’re right. I can still get you ready, though.” He reaches for his backpack and takes out a bottle of lube. With a touch of urgency, he asks, “Could you sit sideways on my lap, please?” 

You nod and sit on his lap with your legs angled, and one of your arms resting on his shoulder.

“Tilt your hips a bit… like that.” He kisses your cheek before smearing some lube on his fingers, his hand slipping between your legs. His other hand is on your back to support you. The lube feels cold and wet as his fingers prod against your anus, one slowly pushing in, the feel of his calloused finger entering you strange yet familiar. A heat begins to build in your lower abdomen.

As you relax, you close your eyes and concentrate on how he is making you feel. He stretches you out, slowly working his way up to three fingers, occasionally curling them to brush against your prostate. The whole thing somehow overstimulates you after such a long time without pleasuring yourself.

“Joel… Please, that’s – ahn – enough… I need you.” You whine as your cock begs to be touched, pre-cum leaking from the tip and running down your shaft.

A guttural growl leaves his lips before he pulls his fingers out of you and lays you on the floor. Kneeling between your legs, he pours some lube on his own neglected hard-on and spreads it all over it with his hand, stroking it a few more times with his eyes closed. He pushes a pillow under your hips, his legs bent underneath yours. He kisses your temple as he slowly penetrates you, the head of his cock slowly spreading your hole apart.

The sensation sends your body into overdrive, your cock throbbing in anticipation. Since it's been a while, he stops when he's completely inside you, letting you get used to the feeling, but also using it as an opportunity to enjoy the feeling of you around him. You groan, hiding your face behind your hands as you feel it burning like a thousand suns. The heat your body is producing is driving you crazy.

“Have you gotten shy since the last time we – hah – did this...?” He teases you, his voice hushed but full of need.

There's no way you can answer this question, your body feels like it's on fire with lust. He chuckles at your breathy, moaning silence and slowly begins to move, his breathing getting heavier as he goes. You quickly become a mess as he finds the right angle to press against your prostate, sending waves of ecstasy to your brain every time it happens. You don't know what to do with yourself or where to put your arms, your hands automatically grab the sheets you're lying on.

“Hah… You feel so good…” He groans as he thrusts deeper into you, his eyes lidded as he watches your face closely. His hands grab your hips for a better hold, since you've started to slip away from him a bit. You let go of the sheets and hold onto his upper arms, feeling his muscles under your fingertips.

“Too much – ah – slow down a little, please.” Eyes squeezed shut, you whine and bite your lower lip as your fingernails dig into the skin of his arms, leaving crescent-shaped marks. Your legs wrap tightly around his hips, slowing his thrusts but keeping him deep inside you.

“Sorry, I just got so excited to finally have you all to myself again…” He whispers, resting his forehead on yours. You finally notice how fast his heart is beating when you gently press your hand to his chest. You open your eyes to look into his, your own heart pounding in your ears.

“Fuck –  I love you so much, Joel.” Cupping his cheeks, you pull him closer to shower his lips with kisses and loosen your legs to allow him to thrust faster again. He does so happily after hearing your confession of love once more, those words as sweet as honey to his ears.

His hands leave your sides, and he props himself up on his elbows to get into a more comfortable position. He slides his forearms over your shoulders, sliding them under your head, giving it more support.

He groans against your lips, the sound of skin against skin increasing in volume as his thrusts turn into pounding, forcing you to try to muffle your moans as your head gets lighter, your orgasm creeping closer. The air inside the tent is now hot and humid from your sweaty bodies. The fabric walls around you rustle with each quick thrust.

Joel notices your feeble attempt at remaining silent. Your moans are not stifled at all, they just get stuck in your throat, so he decides to thrust deeper into you, breaking your focus and leaving you gasping and moaning his name for the whole world to hear.

Your fingers dig into his back, leaving scratches that are going to leave marks all over him. You feel like you're losing your mind, your thoughts a jumbled mess of emotions.

“I’m so fuckin’ close, Space Boy.” He moans next to your ear as his breath hitches.

You don't get a chance to answer as he wraps his hand around your cock and strokes it, one, two, three times, before your orgasm washes over you. You paint your belly with your own release. Your legs tighten around his hips again as they shake a little.

His brow furrows as he's about to reach his own orgasm, a moan catching in his throat as he thrusts erratically into you. Soon after, he reaches his release deep inside you.

“You’re all mine… finally, all mine.” He sighs, his movements slowing as he rides out his high.

“I am…” You slowly catch your breath, caressing his back before smiling as you gently cradle his cheek, your body tired and drained. You press a tender kiss to his lips, finally relaxed, finally free.

That night, spooning Joel as you drift off to sleep, you sleep better than you originally anticipated.

And so another year goes by, and it's the year 2006.

Joel and you enjoy going on secret dates together, but you always make sure to be there for your daughters when they need you the most, which they often do. They're applying to colleges all over the country and working on the side to save some money for a place together.

One day, when the girls are on a much-needed break before a trip to the northern states to do some college tours, Rosa is in her bedroom. You are preparing a snack for her when you get a call from Bridget's parents. You hadn't heard from them since their daughter was thrown in jail. But you held no grudge against them, they never treated you any differently.

Bridget had not contacted you at all for a year and a half. Not that you needed her to, but you were curious how she and the baby were doing. She hadn't even told you its gender or what it was called, and Rosa had asked about it several times, always sad when she heard the same answer.

“Edith, hello! It’s been so long.” You answer, holding the phone between your ear and your shoulder.

“Hello, dear. It has. I'm so sorry we haven't talked in so long.” Her voice sounds pleased to be talking to you again, but there's a subtle worry in it.

“Oh, don't worry about it. It's nice to hear your voice again after so long. How have the two of you been doing?”

“We've been doing just fine. Say, do you have a minute? We need to talk about something important.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Dear, I know this is no subject to discuss over the phone, but Bridget has requested that we talk to you about something.”

“Oh? I thought she never wanted to talk to me, ever again.”

“Yes, but you see, she's had a change of heart after seeing how what she'd done to Rosa affected her… And now she's asked if you would consider adopting Cooper. He can't stay with her in prison much longer, and she thinks you'd be a better parent than she could ever be. And John and I are getting too old to take care of such a young child…” 

Your stomach sinks as you hear this, but then you remember how important this information is to Rosa. “… Just a second, I heard what you said, and I'll come back to it, but I think Rosa would like to know about her baby brother.”

“Of course. I’ll wait.”

You walk over to Rosa's bedroom, a little stunned, and knock on the door, opening it only when she tells you to come in. She's lying on her stomach in bed, playing something on her Nintendo DS that she'd been saving up for.

“Star, I just wanted to tell you, that you have a baby brother.” You hold your hand over the microphone on your phone, while holding it further away from your head.

Her eyes light up with excitement and she sits up in bed to face you. “Thank you! I've been waiting for this information for almost two years! What's his name?”

“Cooper.”

“Cooper. I like that name. Is that Mom on the phone?”

“Nope, it's your grandparents. But I still need to talk to them about some things. You can call them later.”

“Alright. Say hi to Gran and Gramps for me.”

“I will.” You step out of her room and walk into yours, closing the door behind you.

“Hello, Edith? Are you still there?”

“Yes, dear. So, what are your thoughts?”

“I… need some time to think about it… Is it alright if I call you back in a day or two?”

“Of course, dear. I understand.”

“Thank you. I'll give you a call when I've made up my mind. Oh, and Rosa says hello.”

“Alright, talk then! Bye and say hi to Rosa for us, sweetheart.”

“I will, bye,” you smile and hang up. Later, Rosa calls her grandparents and tells them about the trip she's going on starting tomorrow. You sit anxiously in the living room for the rest of the day, trying to figure out what to do.

The thought of adopting Bridget and Pastor Jorge's son doesn't leave your mind, even when you're having your date night with Joel the following night. You managed to have the weekend to yourselves again, since Rosa and Sarah had left to do several campus tours in the upper states together and Tommy had been busy with his own life.

This time it was your turn to prepare for the date night at your place and you've managed to cook a delicious meal together. The candlelit dinner gets Joel in the mood to finish with you for dessert as you load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. He'd somehow managed to get you on the kitchen counter, your back pressed against the hard marble. Your legs are wrapped loosely around his hips. He notices your wandering mind when you are in the middle of making out. There are no whiny pleas coming out of your mouth, no hot remarks, your touches aren't as needy, and your eyebrows are more furrowed than usual.

“Space Boy, is everything ok?” His voice interrupts your train of thought. You let out a frustrated breath before grabbing Joel's shirt and pulling him closer as you kiss his lips again. Your body is still visibly reacting to the attention you were receiving, your cock achingly hard against the seam of your pants.

“Everythin’s fine… fuck.” You slur your words as you whisper against his lips, his hand firmly squeezing your thigh close to your crotch, pressing your leg down against the hard surface you're lying on.

“You sure…? I can tell there's something on your mind.” Joel hesitates and seems a little concerned.

A groan of discomfort passes your lips before you finally give up and let go of him, your hands rubbing your face as you roll your hip up to grind against him one more time.

“I didn't want to bring this up tonight, but if I don't, it's just going to eat me up from the inside.”

Joel raises an eyebrow as he looks down at you and stands up straight, helping you to sit upright on the counter. His hands rest on your thighs, caressing them gently as you speak.

“Bridget's parents called me to ask if I would consider adopting and raising the kid, and I don't know what to do.”

“… What was your initial answer going to be?”

“Well, fuck no, of course. But then I got to thinking. Rosa’s gonna be out of the house in no time, and I did want to have another kid before all this happened…”

Joel snorts at the last thing you just said, making you realize what he just thought about. He likes to bring up the fact that you, an almost forty-year-old man, had begged him on several occasions to get you pregnant in your fucked out condition.

“… Don’t bring that up again, I’m still embarrassed about it.” You hide your face in your hands and bump your head against his chest, groaning in agony at the utter humiliation.

“I won’t, I won’t.” He laughs before patting your shoulder. “As long as you don't resent the kid, why don't you just go for it?”

“You’re right… He’s still Rosa’s brother, after all. Thank you, Joel. I think I’ve made up my mind.” You sigh, smile and kiss him on the cheek.

“Would you like to make a quick phone call, then?”

“No, I can do that tomorrow. I have something else on my mind right now.” You slide your hand to his hip, slipping your thumb under his shirt to press against his skin.

“Hah, right, dessert.” He lets out a small chuckle before following your body down onto the counter, his tongue licking up your neck as he leaves open-mouthed kisses all over it, marking some less obvious spots.

You have plenty of time to let the hickeys heal up before the girls come back, and you couldn't care less if people bring it up. You've been divorced for a while now, you could lie about seeing a new mystery woman.

The feel of his hot breath against your skin, his clothed erection pressing against yours, makes your mind go blank. His hands slide under your shirt, caressing your most sensitive areas. Your pants feel so painfully tight that it makes you whimper.

“Let me help you with that…” He says close to your ear before unbuckling your belt.

“Hah… Are you sure you want to do this here?” You breathe as he continues to unbuckle your pants, the metal parts of your belt rattling against the marble countertop. You sigh in relief as your cock feels less restricted.

“I’m certain I want to do this here. Can't you feel it? The counter is at the perfect height.” He smirks as he grabs your hips and thrusts against you, sending an overwhelming sensation of pleasure through your entire body.

“Oh fuck.” You gasp, the wet patch on the front of your underwear growing larger.

He chuckles at your reaction before his face drops when he realizes something and hits his forehead with the bottom of his palm.

“I didn’t fully think this through… We don’t have any lube here, and we’re already like this…” He groans in frustration, slapping his hands down on the counter as he pushes himself up, mentally preparing himself to make his way upstairs to retrieve the bottle of lube from your bedroom.

With whatever brain activity is left in your horny head, you think for a second before blurting out, “Coconut oil! There's coconut oil on the shelf back there that I never use.”

Joel does a double take before looking in the direction you're pointing.

“Here?” He takes a few steps to the side and holds his hand up to one of the shelves.

“Yep.” You push yourself up on your elbows, watching him with a flushed expression.

He turns and looks for it, pushing a few things around before grabbing the jar. “Found it.”

“Finally… come back over here, I’m growing impatient.” You groan.

Joel grins and sets the jar down on the counter beside you. “I guess dessert will be coconut flavored, tonight.”

You roll your eyes before lying back down. Joel grabs the waistband of your pants and underwear, pulling them off and tossing them to the floor. He whistles at the sight of you, the tip of your cock dripping with pre-cum as it twitches.

He opens the jar of coconut oil and frowns.

“Should I just…” He gestures with his hand holding the lid as if dipping his fingers into the solid mass before continuing with the question, “… dip my fingers in there?”

“Yeah, we can put that jar aside so I don’t use it for cooking…” You watch as he takes some oil on his fingers and melts the white substance between them.

He sets the jar and lid down next to you and uses his fingers to stretch you out as he usually does, starting with one finger at a time. You rest your legs on his shoulders as you arch your back in pleasure. The hand on your leg, holding it in place, squeezes it tightly. His fingers curl in just the right way so that you're about to come untouched. In a panicked state, not wanting to do so yet, you moan out loudly, “Wait, please stop – mh!” 

He hums as he pulls his fingers out, watching your legs tremble and your body and dick twitch, enjoying seeing you in this state. That was close. You breathe heavily, your eyes wide open and your mouth agape.

“You ok?” He asks, leaning down to kiss your cheek.

“Hah… ah… Yes, sorry… I was just about to come…” You gulp as you try to catch your breath.

“Oh.” He chuckles and unbuckles his pants, not even bothering to undress himself at this point. He scoops some more coconut oil into this hand, which immediately begins to melt in his hot palm, and spreads it over his erection, making sure to cover its entire length. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

The world finally stops spinning around you, so you nod. “I think I should be fine, now.”

“Good… I’m so fucking hard right now, that it hurts…” He exhales and positions himself to push the tip inside your hole, the sensation a little different with the chosen lubricant. It doesn't feel as wet as usual, it actually feels silky and somehow like there's no barrier between the two of you, which makes you nervous that you might like it a bit too much.

He pushes all the way in, but doesn't stop like he usually does, just moving in and out of you slowly. "Fuck... that feels amazing."

A gasp gets stuck in your throat, Joel grabs hold of your hips and you lock your legs loosely around his. It feels so intense that your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Space Boy, is it ok if I start going faster, already?” He asks in a hushed voice.

“For the love of God, yes! Please!” You close your eyes, humming and moaning.

“Jesus – Fuck.” He buries his face into your shoulder, picking up speed as his thrusts get deeper and harder. With each blow to your prostate, a hot knot forms in your lower abdomen, and the pleasure reaches your head in waves, leaving your head empty. At this moment, you and Joel are the only two people in the world. You exist only for each other, like a matching set of salt and pepper shakers made to fit together.

His grip on your hips gets stronger, so strong that it starts to hurt a little, but at this point it's a pain that feels good. He moans between heavy breaths, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he thrusts into you with determination. His head hangs low as his eyes squeeze shut.

“Space Boy… I’m so fuckin’ close, baby…”

And so are you, this whole experience is something new to you, you never thought the both of you could feel this good just by changing what you use as lube. You arch your back, holding Joel's hands that don't let go of you, the spot on your hips slowly bruising. Your head clears completely, a hazy feeling taking over after your orgasm washes over you.

Your shirt is covered with your own cum and you feel Joel's entire weight resting on top of you, his chest heaving as he comes down from his high as well. It's only now that you realize he's come at the same time as you, his ejaculation adding a hot, wet sensation as he moves slowly inside you.

Breathing heavily, your hearts still beating fast in your chests, you are both a mess. You keep your legs wrapped around his hips, enjoying the closeness and the feeling of him still inside you.

And so the night passes with much experimentation with this newfound passion between the both of you. The next day you're barely able to walk, so you stay in bed with Joel, listening to his heartbeat and cuddling with him.

“Joel, could you pass me my phone, I still need to call Edith…” You remember what still needs to be done.

“Sure, here you go.” He reaches over for your phone and hands it to you. You adjust the pillow behind you and sit up as best you can to make the call.

You dial the number and put the phone to your ear and listen. The dial tone beeps a few times before Edith's voice comes through the speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Edith. It's me. I've been thinking a lot about what you asked me, and I've made up my mind.”

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

OH. MY. GOD.

TED???

ok the ending got me SO BAD.

WHAT IS THIS MASTERPIECE I NEED TO KEEP READING.

Lying eyes – Part 2

The divorce papers have been signed. Bridget seems to want to work with you, and the fight for custody of your daughter doesn't seem too difficult. But your doubts and your actions begin to catch up with you.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 13k words

Warnings: adultery, homophobia, young!Joel Miller, SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, fic takes place in late 2003 & early 2004, emetophobia, non-outbreak AU, reader is married and has a daughter, top! Joel Miller, bot! Reader, no use of Y/N

To part 1 — To part 2 — To part 3 — To part 4

“And in today's news -”

You turn off the radio in your car as you wait in the parking lot of Rosa's school. You keep an eye out for the bus the girls are supposed to arrive on.

It's late afternoon. They should be here any minute. On the hand gripping the steering wheel, you pick at the skin of your finger.

You go through the steps of what you are going to say to Rosa in your head, repeating them over and over like a prayer.

Make sure she understands that it's not her fault.

Be clear about what's going to happen.

Take her feelings into consideration.

Make sure that even if she chooses to stay with her mother, she knows that I love her very much.

“And what's the last point?” Joel asked as he gave you a hug on the way out of your house the previous night.

“To make sure that I tell her that I love her and that I understand if she prefers to live with her mother,” you repeated after you had finally calmed down.

“Good. You can do it, Space Boy. I believe in you,” he pulled you into a soft kiss, his big hands holding your cheeks.

“… thank you, Joel. For everything.”

You're torn from daydreaming when you hear someone knocking on the window, which makes you jump.

When you look out of the window, you see Rosa and Sarah, who stare at you and wave through the glass.

“Hi, you two!” you say as you get out of the car to help them with their luggage.

“Dad!” Rosa wraps her arms around you and smiles before allowing you to do anything else.

“Hello, my star,” your chest tightens as you hug her back, faking a smile to try not to show how anxious you are.

Carrying her own backpack, she hands you her large luggage. You smile at Sarah and hold out your hand before saying, “Let me help you with that, too.

She thanks you and hands you her bag as well. You open the trunk of the car and store the two bags inside. The trunk closes with a soft thud, and you look through the rear window. Rosa and Sarah are talking animatedly in the back seat as they buckle up and wait to be driven home.

“Sarah, I'm dropping you off at home straight away,” you mumble as you get into the car and shut the door with your left hand.

“Awh... I thought I could hang out with Rosa a little longer...” she says sadly.

“I'm sorry, your dad made me swear that I'd bring you home asap. He'll kill me if I don't,” you joke as you put on your seatbelt and start the engine. Then you look in the rearview mirror to see if anyone is behind the car, only to see the girls staring back at you with puppy eyes.

“You two are making this really hard, but I'd still rather live and see another day,” you drive out of the parking lot and head for Joel's house.

The car comes to a stop just outside his driveway.

“Don't worry, Sarah. You'll see each other at school tomorrow,” you say as she steps out of the car. Joel waves at her as he comes out of the house to help her with her luggage. You look away, still dreading what's to come.

You close the door of the house behind you and watch as Rosa takes off her shoes while you do the same.

She has a look around and notices the little things that are missing. “Hey, Dad? Where did Mom's stuff go? Where is she anyway? I thought she was supposed to pick us up.”

Your stomach turns when you hear these questions.

“We need to talk about something, Star.” You say as you put your jacket on the hanger.

“Oh! What is it?”

Walking into the kitchen, you pause for a second as you grab hold of a chair.

“Dad?” she follows you, the strap of her backpack still hanging over her shoulder.

“Oh. Right.” you take a deep breath before continuing, “Have a seat.”

“What for? Just tell me what's going on, please.” she frowns.

“Rosa. I'm sorry for what I'm about to tell you, but I need you to sit down and listen to me...” You pull out a chair and Rosa nods, a little confused, before she slides her backpack off her shoulder and sets it on the floor next to the chair as she takes a seat.

“What is it, Dad?”

You take a deep breath and kneel down in front of her, grabbing her hand and staring into her face.

“Before I begin, I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you. Your mother and I love you very much. Now, here comes the hard part. The next few weeks or months may be stressful. I know you're a very attentive girl, and I'm sure you've noticed how your mother and I have grown apart over the last couple of years...” you squeeze her hand a little tighter, trying to hide your trembling.

“I think I know where this is going...” her small voice breaks as her face twists into a worried frown.

“Star, your mother and I are getting divorced... I originally told her that you would stay with me for the time being, but if that's not what you want...” you look down, your whole body shaking from all this.

She lays her other hand over yours, rubbing her thumb over it to calm you down.

“Dad?” her voice is soft but sorrowful, “Were you and Mom happy together?”

With a frown on your face, you look into her eyes and study her worried expression. Her face almost resembles her mother's, only her eyes are similar to yours.

“Rosa, I-”

“Please answer my question. It's ok. I'll understand.”

“… No, I don’t think we have been for a few years already…“

“Then that's the right thing to do. I know you both love me. I have never felt unloved by either of you.”

Tears start welling up in your eyes.

“And of course I want to see Mom, too. But I think I'd rather stay with you. I feel more comfortable here, and I love the new school, everyone is so nice to me – ...”

You let go of her tiny hand and pull her into a tight hug, tears pouring down your cheeks. Her hands stroke your back, trying to calm you down, but you feel her body start to shake as she begins to sob.

“I'm so sorry...” you caress the back of her head as you sob yourself.

“I'm o – only crying because you started...”

You laugh as you cry into her shoulder. Her body trembles against yours as she does the same. After all, she is just like you.

Some time after you have calmed down, you order Chinese food together and get ice cream for dessert. Both her favorites. It heals your heart a bit as you watch her little happy dance from the delicious food.

You watch “The Emperor's New Groove” together. It helps you to forget about reality for a little while, the jokes have you and Rosa laughing to yourselves. You had gone to see the movie with her in the theater when it first came out in theaters. Even though it was a children's movie, it became one of your favorite movies of all time.

That night, the house is eerily quiet when you turn off the TV. Rosa has fallen asleep on the couch next to you, her head propped on her crossed arms resting on the cushioned arm of the couch, her legs tucked under her butt.

You get up by pushing yourself off the couch.

“Rosa...” you shake her shoulder, trying to get her to wake up and go to bed.

“Mh…” she complains, not waking up.

“Hey... Star, you need to go to bed...”

She presses her face into her arms, rubbing it against them.

You sigh and smile before picking her up, her weight a bit much for your weary bones. But you carry her safely up the stairs anyway, making your way to her bedroom.

“Dad?” She opens her eyes gradually, blinking to look up at you with a tired expression on her face.

You stop and set her feet on the floor, helping her to stand on her own as she rubs her eyes.

“It's late, Star. You should go to sleep,” you whisper as you kiss her on the head.

“...” she remains silent and thinks for a moment.

“Come on, you'll be tired tomorrow if you stay up any longer...” you put your hands on her shoulders and gently push her in front of you.

“Dad? I know this is childish... but can I sleep in your bed tonight?” she turns her head to look back at you.

Tears almost forming in your eyes, you stop pushing her in front of you.

“Of course.”

She smiles before hugging you tightly and heading into your bedroom, lying on Bridget's side of the bed. You join her, pulling the blanket over the two of you. She scoots closer to you, her face in your chest. You wrap your arm around her and fall asleep, your chin resting on top of her head.

The next morning, you wake up with her head on your chest, the alarm clock on your bedside table ringing loudly for you to get up for work and for her to get ready for school.

“Ugh... turn it off...” Rosa groans before rubbing her face against your shirt. You reach for the button on the top of the device and press it to turn off the irritating noise.

“Good mornin', Star...” your voice is low and hoarse, “We gotta get up or you'll miss the school bus.”

You gently lift her head from your chest and stand up.

“5 more minutes, please...” she complains, grabbing the pillow your head was resting on just seconds ago and snuggling against it.

You laugh to yourself before grabbing another pillow and throwing it at her head.

“Get up. I don't want to have to drive you.” You pull the covers off her and then pull her by her legs to the edge of the bed.

“Uuuugggghh...” she sits up with her eyes closed, her head waving like a leaf in the wind.

“Up. Let's go. Brush your teeth and get dressed, you grab her hands and pull her to her feet. She waddles off to her bedroom and gets ready.

The week passes like any other. You go to work, go home, cook dinner, spend time with Rosa, and go to bed. After that night, however, she sleeps in her own bedroom.

Your house feels a little alien, especially your bedroom and bed. It's still the same bed you slept in every night. It just has a slightly larger feel to it now. You continue to sleep on your side of the bed. It's a hard habit to break.

On Thursday night, you see Joel get out of his car in front of his house as you drive by. You slow down to maybe say hello to him, but you decide not to. He looks like he's had a rough day.

When you get home, Rosa is sitting at the kitchen table working on some homework. You quietly tidy up the house, stopping to look at a picture frame in the living room.

It's your wedding photo.

You reach for it. You notice how beautiful Bridget looked in her white dress, the bouquet of flowers mostly consisting of roses. Your fingers caress the glass, your heart still aching.

You loved her.

But now it's all over.

You replace the frame on the furniture and turn it so that it's facing the wall. The rest of the evening, you put every little decoration in your bedroom that reminds you of her into a box. Of course, you put the nanny cam and the VCR recorder in a separate box and hide it under your bed, so Rosa doesn't get a bad surprise.

You go to bed very early, you can feel every bone in your body.

You open your eyes to darkness. Your other senses are heightened by the pitch-black space you're in.

You can feel that you're sitting on a chair, the metal of it feeling hard against your back and digging into your legs. You try to move, but now realize that you're all tied up.

In a panic, you struggle to untie your hands and feet, but the restraints only get tighter. The gag around your mouth makes it hard for you to breathe. You begin to hyperventilate.

And then you're blinded by the lights that come on in the room. You blink as you feel a weight on your lap.

You see Bridget's naked back in front of you, the sleeves of her dress hanging down the sides of her arms. She lifts her arms up into the air. Someone pulls her dress over her head, completely undressing her, with only their hands visible to you. When you look down, you notice that her legs aren't the ones in direct contact with your lap. The ones that are in direct contact with yours are the legs of a man. You recognize him.

It's Joel. His arms wrap around her as they kiss, his face now appearing behind her head. They are both naked, Bridget circling her hips after inserting him inside her.

Her back presses against your chest, the metal of the chair digging into your back as Joel begins to thrust into her, his movements rough yet sensual. His fingers run through the hair at the back of her head as he licks her neck from her collarbone to her jawline.

A memory runs through your brain, almost like a ghost. You feel everything as if you were her. His kisses, his touch.

You try to look away, to close your eyes, to do anything to not see what's happening in front of you, but you can't. Even your tears don't blur what you see. It's as if there's an invisible force keeping them focused on the naked bodies in front of you.

You hate your body. It reacts to them, to their bodies grinding against you as they make love on your lap.

Joel looks at you through his eyebrows. His eyes are dark and seem disgusted that he is even looking at you. He closes them as he moves Bridget's hair away from her neck to kiss her neck as his thrusts become more aggressive.

You feel sick to your stomach as her moans echo in your ears. You try to beg them to stop, but you can't get a word out through the gag. Joel's breathing hitches.

You know that noise. The way his moans get caught in his throat. The way his eyebrows furrow as he bites his lower lip. He's close.

You struggle trying to move any muscle in your body to get out of this situation. The pitch of Bridget's moaning rises as she reaches orgasm at the same time as Joel. His hands grab her sides to push her down onto him as far as he can, to fill her as much as possible.

You sob as you watch them kiss out of breath. Until Joel's gaze meets yours once more, causing your heart to ache.

You wake up in a cold sweat, gasping loudly. You stare at the ceiling with your eyes wide open, trying to calm your racing heart, your breathing heavy. The air in the room feels cold against the dampness of your skin. Your hands instinctively reach for Bridget's side of the bed, the sheets cold against your fingertips.

Loneliness.

You sit up in bed and press the button on the clock on your bedside table, switching on the backlight of the display.

The time reads 1 a.m.

You take a deep breath and clutch the cloth on your chest, trying to somehow return to reality and calm your racing heart.

I can't go back to sleep like this.

The side of the bed you always sleep on is soaked with your sweat. You pull the blanket back to air it out.

You're wide awake.

Not an inch of your body is tired.

With careful steps you make your way to the bathroom, take off your pajamas, which are nothing more than old gym clothes, and step into the shower, turning the water to the coldest setting.

The ice-cold water runs down your skin, the shock making you forget the nightmare you've just had for a few minutes. As you rinse off the sweat, you exhale sharply, your whole body shaking from the cold. Your teeth chatter.

You turn off the water after rinsing the body wash and shampoo, grab the towel with shivering hands, and wrap yourself in it.

Joel's face reappears in your mind. You stare into the mirror, holding the towel as you slowly warm up again. You'd never seen an expression like that on his face before. It makes you feel uneasy.

You get dressed, even though it's 2 a.m., and make your way downstairs, hoping that one of the shows on the television will lull you to sleep. You sit on the couch with a blanket over you and watch the programs change from comedy shows to infomercials to soft-core porn to advertisements and back to comedy shows.

The realization that you need to get ready for a hard day's work hits you like a truck when you hear your alarm go off upstairs. You were unsuccessful in getting yourself to sleep. But at least your body was awake, even if it was wobbly. It was as if every molecule in your body was jittery.

You go to work after having breakfast with Rosa, the memory of the nightmare jumping at you all day like a bad jump scare.

At the end of the day, when you've finally eaten dinner with your daughter and calmed down, your body is heavy and tired. But there's not an ounce of sleepiness in your brain, which bounces from one topic to the next.

You lie awake in bed, having gone to bed at midnight.

1 a.m.

A car drives through the neighborhood.

2 a.m.

Some cats start fighting outside.

3 a.m.

You turn to lie on your left side.

4 a.m.

You sit up and sigh.

It's no use. It's another sleepless night for you.

You feel restless, alone in the dark with your own thoughts.

So you decide to sit at the kitchen table for hours, watching the colors of the sky change as everything outside awakens.

As the sun rises, you hear the beautiful singing of birds outside.

It is 8 a.m.

Rosa usually wakes up around this time on Saturdays.

You stand up and begin to prepare breakfast, cutting some apples to make porridge. You place the pot in a circle on the stove, turn it on, and add the apple pieces along with some honey, a pinch of salt, and a small amount of butter.

The apple pieces start to sizzle a little, the sweet smell makes you feel a little less tired. You grab the milk from the fridge and the oatmeal from the pantry. The apples have turned a nice color by the time you get to them, so you pour some oats in along with some milk. When the whole thing starts bubbling, you stir it, and the porridge thickens.

“Good morning...” Rosa walks into the kitchen and rubs the palm of her hand against her eye.

“Good morning, Star,” you reply, stirring the porridge while sprinkling in some cinnamon, “Made you some breakfast.”

She sits down at the kitchen table and yawns as you place a bowl of porridge, a spoon, and a glass of freshly pressed orange juice in front of her.

You grab your coffee – which you made stronger than usual – and sit at the table with her, eating a portion of porridge with her.

She looks up at you, finally a little more awake than before, and jumps a little at the sight of you.

“Whoa! Did you get any sleep the last couple of nights?” she asks with obvious concern in her voice.

“Hm? Yeah, I couldn't sleep at all last night. What makes you say that?” you frown as you rub your fingertips over your cheek.

“Your eyes. Your dark circles have dark circles of their own. Black as the night,” she takes a sip of her orange juice.

“Oh. Don't worry, I'll try to get some shut-eye today.”

“Alright. I have to go over to a classmate's house with Sarah today to work on a project for school. Is that ok?”

“Of course, but don't get too distracted. And you know what number to call if you need me to pick you up.”

“Mhm.” She finishes her breakfast and now, finally feeling more awake, she stretches after getting up from her chair, grabs the dirty dishes and rinses them with water before putting them in the dishwasher.

She goes back upstairs and gets ready to leave. You finish the rest of your coffee and stare silently at the wall.

“I could...” you mutter to yourself, not finishing the sentence you were thinking.

I could call Joel over while they’re gone.

But the memory of the nightmare and his exhausted expression the other day hit you.

Maybe not.

Rosa stops at the front door with her backpack hanging over her shoulder, the small accessories dangling from the side of it making some plastic clanking noises. She's wearing a light blue polo shirt she begged you to buy for her, and some rhinestone embellished flared jeans. Around her neck is a necklace with a silver star hanging from it.

“Don't forget to wear a jacket, it's getting colder outside,” you say, leaning against the kitchen door frame and watching her put on her light blue sneakers.

She smiles and nods, grabbing her jeans jacket and putting it on after putting her backpack on the floor.

“You be safe out there, alright? I might have to get you one of those fancy little flip phones soon. Just so I can keep annoying you.” You grin as she walks over to give you a hug.

“You know I'd be the one annoying you with it if I had one.” She kisses you on the cheek, having to tippy-toe to do so.

“Dang. I feel like I need to go get you one straight away,” you joke, patting her head,” you go on then. Have fun and let me know when you leave.”

“I will! Love you, Dad!” She waves after picking up her backpack and throwing it over her shoulder once more.

“Love you too, kid. Stay safe.” You smile and wave back as she leaves through the front door, closing it behind her.

You sigh, crossing your arms as your head drops, feeling every inch of your body. The coffee doesn't do the trick. Instead, your heart is racing like crazy in your chest.

“I should really go lie down, later,” you say to yourself before you start doing chores around the house. Saturdays are cleaning days in your household. And when you're all by yourself, you can play your favorite albums as loud as you want without anyone complaining.

Surprisingly, you get a lot done. You collect all the dirty laundry and throw it in the washing machine, dust all the surfaces in the house, and vacuum afterward. Maybe, if you tire yourself out enough, you will be able to get a little bit of rest later on.

Rosa comes home not too late. You'd just finished cleaning when she called to let you know she was on her way. So you start cooking dinner, your back aching every time you bend down to pick something up. You are exhausted.

Your daughter, worried that you still haven't slept, forces you to go to bed earlier than usual. She is right.

So you brush your teeth, put on your sleeping clothes, and tuck yourself into bed, your feet rubbing together in an attempt to soothe yourself. You lie on your side, eyes closed, trying not to think about anything.

But there's no use.

It's just one more sleepless night.

You try so hard to fall asleep, but your chest feels tight with the heart palpitations. Your breathing gets heavier as the heartbeats become more aggressive. With your eyes wide open, you clench your fist in front of your chest and lie on your back, trying to breathe.

As you hyperventilate, you try to count down and close your eyes to calm down. Nothing seems to work. You open your eyes again and see a dark shape staring down at you from the ceiling. It disappears after you close your eyes very tightly.

In a panicked state, you get up and go to the bathroom and fill the sink with cold water. At least as cold as would come out of the faucet on the sink. You breathe heavily and try to take a few deep breaths before holding your breath and plunging your face into the cold water.

When you resurface, you exhale sharply, still hyperventilating, as you make another attempt to take a deep breath and dip your face into the cold water again.

It starts to work.

You stand in front of the sink, clutching it with your hands, as you stare breathlessly at yourself in the mirror. The cold water drips down your hair and across your forehead. Joel's arm wraps around you as he rests his head on your shoulder. You lean your head to the side, trying to rest it on his.

But there's nothing there.

Just empty air and the lingering feeling of loneliness.

Again.

You shuffle over to the toilet, lift the seat up to take a piss, and hold out your hand against the wall, not wanting to fall over as you do so. After washing your hands and drying your hair with a towel, you get dressed and make your way downstairs.

You cook porridge again and see shapes and colors of different people passing by your windows. Joel and Bridget talk to you sometimes, even though they're not present.

“You never deserved anyone.” Bridget's voice is sharp, her words make your heart ache.

“I don't even know why I did all those things with you, you disgust me.” Joel's voice merges with hers. You shake your head and start humming a tune, trying to drown them out. But they keep talking to you.

Breakfast is ready. You grab a mug of coffee and try to wake up from the nightmare you're living, but it's no use.

You’re already awake. 

This is just the kind of hell you find yourself in.

Shaking your leg, you sit at the kitchen table with your arms across your stomach, waiting for Rosa to wake up. Your whole body is shivering. Every movement feels strenuous.

Finally, Rosa joins you, worried about you as you drop your head.

She notices how weak you are, your tremors make it obvious that you're not feeling well. She speaks to you, but you do not hear her.

Everything around you is moving in slow motion.

The noises are just a low hum as your head aches with every beat of your heart.

The entire world begins to spin around you, and your stomach joins it as you stand up. You hold on to the chair so you don't fall over.

You open your eyes and see Bridget standing next to Rosa. But she doesn't seem to see her own mother. You blink and rub your eyes to clear your vision of the hallucination.

Rosa is standing alone before you.

You blink.

Nobody else is in the house with you.

You blink.

The door to the house opens.

You blink.

Now, it's closed.

You blink.

Rosa is gone.

You swear she said something else before she vanished.

You sit back down, feeling your breakfast wanting to come out and greet you. You cover your mouth with your hand, trying to keep it together for now.

Suddenly, Joel is standing in front of you, looking worried. You smile at him and wave, Bridget standing right behind him with a similar look on her face. When you blink and look again, only Joel is left.

“Space Boy? Space Boy! C'mon, let's get you to bed.”

“Hahaha... hello, Joel. Are you here to fuck Bridget again?” you ask groggily.

But then you feel his hand on your shoulder...

And it feels...

Real.

You had just said that to the real Joel.

He frowns at you. “What? What the hell? No, of course not. I'm here to check on you, Rosa just showed up at my house. She's worried sick.”

You laugh before gagging as you try to force your breakfast to stay inside you.

“Shit – Imma throw up –”

Joel quickly helps you into the bathroom, where you kneel in front of the toilet. He holds you in place as you expel the contents of your stomach through your mouth, which hurts like hell.

You groan and pant when it calms down, tears forming in your eyes.

“There. You feelin’ better now?” He pats your back. You hold his other hand and nod in response.

“Good. Let's get you to bed, shall we?” He helps you up and slides his shoulder under your arm, holding you up as you both walk up to your bedroom.

Before you lie down in bed, you brush your teeth, Joel always making sure you don't just fall over.

“There we go. You need to get some sleep. Rosa told me you haven't slept in two days.”

“Three. It's been three days.” You correct him, slurring your words.

“Fuck, Space Boy. What's keeping you from sleep?” he sits down beside you.

“You and Bridget... going at it,” you mutter, turning your face away from him.

The mattress shifts under his weight as he reaches for your face, pulling it to look at him.

“Now why would I do that when you damn well know I've only got eyes for you?”

“I – … Don’t know.” You breathe, your breath minty, smelling of toothpaste.

He leans down to kiss your lips softly, his forearms pressing into the mattress on either side of your head. You wrap your arms around him, finally feeling some warmth spread throughout your body.

A weird feeling of excitement washes over you. It's probably from the lack of sleep, but you get hard in record time. You moan against Joel's lips.

He pulls away to look at you. You lie there with lidded eyes, a lewd expression on your face. Your shirt rides up a little, giving Joel a glimpse of the happy trail that leads to your pants, which look a little too tight thanks to the tent you're pitching.

“Look at you.” He whistles before kissing your cheek.

You breathe heavily, your excitement refusing to subside.

“Joel... I'm so tired...” you groan as you adjust your pants. “But it's not going away. 

“I think I can help with that. Would you like me to?” He asks, his voice quiet and subdued.

“I would love to. But what about the girls...?” Your breath catches in your throat as he softly touches you through your pants.

“I told them to wait at home until I call them… We should be fine.” His eyes stare at your lips, his breath hot against your skin. 

“Good…” 

Joel kisses your lips, his hands busy unbuckling the belt around your waist. His fingers slip off the zipper slider a few times, making you giggle. You smile with your eyes closed, enjoying the kisses he leaves on your neck as he finally pulls your pants off, dragging your underwear along with them.

His kisses travel to your collarbone, his hands pulling your shirt over your head. You raise your arms in the air to help him get rid of it.

He stops you in your tracks as you try to pull his shirt off. “No, it’s all about you today.”

“But what about you-” you moan as his hand presses down against your erection a little.

“I'll take great pleasure in helping you,” he whispers in your ear before making his way down between your legs. He wraps his hand around your cock, stroking it lazily as he kisses the inside of your thighs, his mustache tickling the sensitive skin.

You gasp at the sensation of him playing with your balls as his hand tightens around your base, his strokes slow and steady. You throw your head back, your hands reaching for his curls as he slides his hand to hold your cock a little higher to kiss the base of it, licking it up to the head.

He stops stroking you for a second, wrapping his mouth around the leaking tip, pressing it against the inside of his cheek as his tongue rubs against the underside. You stifle a moan and bite your lower lip.

Your head becomes lighter, the low buzz of a headache relieved by the pleasure he's making you feel.

“Space Boy, you got some lube in your nightstand?” He breathes heavily as he replaces his mouth around your cock with his fist, jerking you off with a loose grip. You gasp at the sensation and nod before reaching out to open the drawer of your nightstand, your hand rummaging for the bottle.

Joel's tongue licks up the pre-cum that comes out of the tip of your erection, leading you to inhale sharply. You finally find the bottle and hand it to him with a trembling hand.

“Just relax, I'll help you come in no time,” he softly whispers as the bottle opens with a loud click. He pours some lube on his fingers and slowly presses one against your anus, waiting to push it in until his mouth is wrapped around the head of your erection again.

You're losing your mind.

You could come with just one finger. But your body wants more. It needs more to finally be able to rest. You throw your head to the side and moan loudly as he curls his finger inside you, searching for your favorite spot.

Memories of the motel come rushing back into your mind.

The way Joel would make you pant and scream his name like it was his calling. You'd said some embarrassing things back then, but you didn't regret them. The heat of the moment made it bearable. The most notable thing you'd said in the heat of the moment was that he might get you pregnant, which still makes you flustered when you think about it.

It's just a shame that he wasn't able to actually impregnate you back then, even though he tried his best. He'd just fucked you senseless, coming deep inside you as often as he could and using you as a cock warmer, just spooning you until he was ready for another round.

You'd even forgotten the pain you felt every morning when he just covered your body with soft caresses and kisses.

A moan catches in your throat as he inserts a third finger. You are a mess, drool dripping down the corners of your mouth as your moans grow louder. You keep drifting off for brief seconds as he works hard to pleasure you, his fingers brushing against your prostate, making your cock throb.

“Joel – ... I can't take it any longer – ... I'm going to come!” you groan, arching your back and curling your toes as your fingers gently pull at his locks.

He's got his eyes closed and hums as he curls his fingers once more, his mouth remaining around your dick as it twitches. Hot strings of your ejaculation flow into his mouth. He opens his eyes to watch you come undone in front of him. He loves this. Your breath hitches as you ride out your orgasm with soft thrusts.

You close your eyes as your breathing slows. A few seconds later, you slowly drift off to sleep, your hands still on Joel's head, your fingers letting go of his curls as your whole body goes limp. The pent-up anxiety leaves your body in an instant.

You fall into a long and deep sleep.

It is 7:14 the next morning when you wake up and check the time.

You sit up in bed and listen to the voices coming from downstairs. Joel is talking to Sarah and Rosa. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. Like it’s meant to be this way. You smile to yourself as you get up, wash your face in the bathroom and make yourself look a little more presentable.

Joel is downstairs looking after the girls. They must have come over after you'd fallen asleep and just let you sleep through the whole Sunday. They're probably on their way to catch the bus.

It hits you like a train that it's Monday morning. It's a workday. You have to get a move on or you're going to be late. In a panic, you rush to get dressed, running downstairs as you buckle the belt of your jeans.

“Good morning, Space Boy.” Joel stands by the front door. The girls have already left.

“Good morning. I better hurry, I'll be late for work.” You grab your jacket and start gathering your things. Keys. Mobile phone. Car papers.

“Not so fast. I called at work for you, said you’re sick. You're staying home today. And I’m taking care of you. Rosa's orders.” He yanks the jacket out of your hand and hangs it back up.

You blink and relax your shoulders, your hurry dying down, but your body feels like it's been hit by a truck.

“Oh... What a relief...” you exhale, rubbing your face with your palms.

“Now. Get your ass in the kitchen. I made you a strong breakfast.”

The smell of scrambled eggs and bacon fills the air, now that you allow yourself to take in your surroundings. Having not eaten in a whole day, your stomach growls loudly.

You inhale the entire plate of food within seconds and wash it down with a glass of water. Joel watches you quietly, his expression giving no hint of his inner thoughts. You take a second helping, concentrating only on eating until you're full.

Until you notice that he is staring at you. His chin rests on the palm of his hand, his elbow supporting the weight on the table. As you chew the last piece of bacon, you swallow, the silence heavy as your eyes meet. His other hand reaches out to gently caress your arm as he smiles.

“Thank you so much. For everything, Joel.” You smile back and place your hand on his.

“Of course, Space Boy. Anything for you.”

You squeeze his hand slightly, remembering the last thing that happened before you fell asleep.

“Say, Joel, um... about yesterday. I'm sorry I fell asleep immediately after... you know.” You look bashfully to the side.

Joel chuckles before shaking his head. “You really don't need to apologize for that.”

“I'd still love to make it up to you. And we've got all day until the girls get home.”

“Oh?” He straightens his back and lets the hand that was holding his head fall to the table.

You push yourself back with your chair and stand up. “Meet you upstairs?”

He sits there with his mouth agape, his eyes following you as you walk out of the kitchen.

You don't wait for him to follow you, but instead make your way to your bedroom and sit down on the bed. Some audible footsteps follow you into the bedroom. You start unbuttoning your shirt one button at a time. Joel appears in the door frame, leaning against it with his arms crossed.

A smile spreads across your face as you finish unbuttoning your shirt, sliding it seductively off your shoulders before throwing it on the floor next to him.

“Are you just gonna watch me from over there?”

“I might.” He slips his hands into his pockets and tilts his head.

You groan and get up from the bed, grabbing the bottle of lube from the drawer of your nightstand. You walk over to the dresser against the wall to the left of the window and close the curtains. You set the bottle on top of the furniture before leaning your butt against it as you unbuckle your pants.

“Then I better give you something worth watching.” You slowly remove your pants, kicking them away from you as soon as they are off.

“Tell me what you want me to do, Joel.” You say calmly as you drop your last piece of clothing to the floor, resting your palms on the dresser behind you.

His eyes take in the sight of you completely naked, waiting for him. “Hm... I want you to wait a little.”

Wondering what he's going to do, you tilt your head to the side. He slowly takes off his t-shirt. It falls to the floor beside him.

Your focus is on him as you get hard thinking about what he could do to you if he would just hurry up. He's watching every little move your body makes as he undresses by the door. His eyes look like he can barely hold himself back. Your cock twitches as pre-cum leaks from the tip.

You reach out to touch yourself.

“Don’t. You’ll need to wait for me.” He commands.

A shiver runs down your spine.

“Please hurry up then…” You beg as you pant lightly.

By the time Joel is fully naked, your cock is throbbing, aching to be touched. He walks over to you, resting his hands on the furniture behind you as he leans in to kiss you.

With a gasp, you pull away from the kiss, his hand finally wrapping around your cock. He strokes it lazily. As he watches your face react to every touch, a smirk spreads across his face. You furrow your brow and close your eyes, moaning softly.

You wrap your arms around his neck, your breathing getting heavier.

“No coming until I have, alright?” He whispers in your ear before kissing your neck.

“M – Mhm.” You nod and half open your eyes, staring into the distance as you let him do whatever he wants to you. The click of the lube bottle makes it obvious what his plans are. He stops stroking you and leans back to look at you.

You nod and turn around, holding on to the furniture as you stick your ass out for him.

“Very good...” Joel's voice is hushed and full of lust. His finger prods your anus, the lubricant cold and wet against it. You shudder.

His breath is hot against the back of your ear as his finger slides inside you.

“Dang… you’re still a bit stretched out from yesterday.” He comments before inserting a second finger, making you moan. The curl of his fingers inside you sends waves of pleasure throughout your entire body. You spread your legs apart a little more.

He inserts a third, stretching you as far as he can until he loses his patience. The click of the bottle cap cuts through your heavy breathing. There is a feeling of emptiness when his fingers are no longer inside you, but that is fine.

Joel makes sure to waste no time as he pushes the head of his cock against your hole, slowly sliding in. It feels slightly painful, but the pain quickly turns to pleasure as he thrusts gently, getting deeper with each movement. The air is forced out of your lungs when his hand grabs your hip and quickly pushes it towards himself, finally inserting himself all the way inside of you.

His thrusts are slow and sensual, making sure not to overstimulate you from the get-go. His chest rises and falls as he breathes deeply, making sure to savor the moment. You turn your head to look at him, drool running down the corner of your mouth as your moans become louder.

With your hands pressed against the dresser, clenched into fists, his kisses run down the back of your neck. He pushes your left leg up so that your knee is resting on the furniture, this way his thrusts are getting deeper and deeper.

You could burst at any moment. The pleasure builds in your head, but you try to concentrate on not coming before he does. At least with what little brain activity you have left. This proves to be more of a challenge than you thought. His cock keeps hitting your prostate, his body pressed against yours feels heavy, yet you love the sensation of his skin against yours.

“Hah... you — mm — wanna know what happened after you fell asleep yesterday?” He breathes heavily as he asks in a hushed voice. The room smells of sweat and sex.

“Fuck — hmm — ... yes, Joel!” You inhale sharply before whining, your head getting lighter the closer you get to your own release. The question breaks every bit of concentration you had.

“When you came, I just started stroking myself over you… hah – … you looked so good with my come all over you in the end.” He whispers, his finger pinching your nipple and tugging at it lightly as he keeps moving. A throaty groan escapes his lips before his breath hitches.

You bite down on your lower lip, moaning nonsense as you reach your release, your ejaculate dripping down the wooden exterior of the dresser. Joel doesn't stop moving, only getting rougher with his thrusts.

You ride out the wave of pleasure that washes over you like a pro, but are soon overwhelmed as a second, more intense sensation begins to build as he continues to pound into you.

All the strength you had to keep yourself pushed upright leaves you, your head now resting against the wall. Your legs shake, tears forming in your eyes as a mixture of pain and pleasure sends a throbbing feeling through the muscles of your body.

Joel slides his hand between the wall and your head, trying to soften the blows that your forehead continued to receive. His moans become more frequent as he switches up the rhythm of his thrusts, his orgasm nearing.

You're an absolute mess as another orgasm hits you, your hips grinding against his as he joins you in a state of mind-numbing pleasure. He ejaculates deep inside of you, his thrusts slowing as his moans fade and change to nothing but heavy pants. He plants kisses all over your neck, shoulders and back before pulling out of you, content to watch your body twitch in front of him.

Out of breath and out of strength, you tremble when you pull your leg off the top of the dresser and almost collapse to the floor. Joel holds you up by wrapping his arms around you and grabs the bottle of lube, carrying it and you to the bed.

“Let me get you into bed.”

He lays you down on the soft mattress before joining you. You rest your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and breathing as his hands caress your back.

“That… was too much, Joel.” you mumble, now finally able to voice your thoughts.

“I told you not to come before me,” he chuckles, kissing the top of your head, your hair hugging his nose. He takes a deep breath. You spend some time in each other's arms, enjoying the closeness as your hearts and bodies calm down from all that action.

The doorbell rings, and you push yourself off the bed, grabbing one of the blankets to cover your naked body. You sneak to the bedroom window and pull the curtains aside to look out, keeping your head low.

“Who is it?” Joel whispers, also getting out of bed and picking up his clothes off the floor.

“Shit — It’s Mrs. Adler.”

“Goddammit Connie.” He complains as he hurries to get dressed. “I'll get the door, you clean up here and open the window. She's probably here to check up on you.”

“Fuck, fuck, ok.” You look around the room. Your clothes are scattered all over the place. And there's come all over the dresser.  

“Hurry.” He whispers before he leaves the bedroom.

You jump on one foot as you put on your underwear, pick up the rest of your clothes and throw them on the chair in the corner of the room.

“Good morning, Connie.” You can hear Joel's voice coming from downstairs.

You put on a sleeping shirt and grab a dirty shirt to wipe up any mysterious liquid you find.

“Good morning to you too, Joel. I see you’re still here, is he still not doing any better?” Her voice is muffled through the bedroom door, but when you open the window all the way, you can hear it clearly.

“He's a little better, but he just went back to bed after eating something.” The voices grow clearer as they walk up the stairs. Mrs. Adler probably just started walking in without even thinking about it.

You toss the dirty and wet shirt under the bed and get into bed, quickly covering yourself. You notice the bottle of lube between the sheets and throw it in the drawer before closing it. The wind is blowing some fresh air through the window.

There's a knock at your bedroom door.

You use the best sick voice you can think of, “Come in...”

“Oh dear. You look like you've been through hell.”

Joel looks apologetic as he steps in behind her. She stands by the side of the bed, a worried expression adorning her face.

“Hello, Mrs. Adler.” You fake a cough as you sit up. 

“How’re you feeling today? Had us scared to death yesterday.”

“I’m doing better. Joel helped a lot.” You smile.

“That’s wonderful… I’ll leave now, to let you rest more. I might bring by some soup later”

“Oh, that’s really not necessary – “

“Nonsense. You take it easy for now. Joel, are you stayin’ here?”

“Yeah, gotta make sure he doesn’t get up and start doing stuff ‘round the house.” He crosses his arms as he leans against the door frame.

“I'll see you later, I'll stop by around six.” Mrs. Adler smiles before turning around and heading downstairs with Joel.

“It’s really nice of you to come check on him.” Joel's voice fades as he gets further away from the bedroom. You exhale, the nervousness leaving your body.

The door downstairs closes audibly, and some hasty footsteps make their way to the bedroom. You jump up from the bed and look at the man standing in the doorway.

“Joel, your shirt's inside out.” You chuckle.

“What? Shit. I was in such a hurry…” He catches his breath.

“How did she even know I wasn’t feeling well?”

“I asked her to look after the girls while I was here yesterday.”

“Ahhh… That makes sense.” You approach him and grab the hem of his t-shirt to pull it up.

He raises his arms in the air, and you take off his shirt, turning it inside out so it's right and pulling it back over his head.

“What – I thought we were keeping it off.” He mumbles, his face still covered by the fabric of his shirt.

“We need to hold back a bit more.” You smile apologetically and finally pull the shirt down completely. “And I need to clean up our mess.” You look at the dresser behind you.

“No, I will. You get back into bed and rest.” He kisses your temple before shooing you into bed. “You can wash up after I've cleaned everything.”

You get into bed. You roll your eyes and turn on your side.

A couple of months had passed since then.

The new year had come and gone without much trouble.

Bridget had finally signed the divorce papers, and you'd been talking to your lawyers about child custody to make things go as smoothly as possible in court. Every time you'd seen her, her small baby bump had gotten a little bigger. It was still small enough to go unnoticed by people who didn't know about her pregnancy. The only people who knew were you, Bridget, Pastor Jorge, and Joel.

This is all a long process that's just getting started. Because of the topic of infidelity coming from Bridget, your lawyer had advised you to take a paternity test in case Bridget would not allow you to see Rosa.

There was no doubt that she was your daughter to begin with, but the results helped ease your mind after the thought had been planted. She was truly your own flesh and blood, after all.

The lawyer you hired worked diligently. When you mentioned that you had started seeing a man while the divorce was still pending, he advised you to stop. He noted that even though same-sex sexual activity had been decriminalized last year, it could lead to nonsensical accusations.

He added that if you decided to continue having relations with a man, you should at least not be caught on camera, since it could be used against you in court if Bridget changed her mind about custody arrangements.

You assured him that no one but him knew about the affair. But you were still being a little more cautious about it.

The whole process would take a lot longer, though, because Rosa would have to give her opinion on where she would prefer to live. For now, the custody plan you had agreed to was to have her stay with you and have her stay with her in-laws every other weekend since Bridget lived there. She didn't make nearly enough money to have her permanently, which put you at ease.

You put the rest of Bridget's belongings in different boxes and shot her a text to let her know that if she wanted to come and get them, to call you first. So you could get everything ready.

And now, on this winter weekend, Rosa is headed to the mall with Sarah to hang out with other school friends.

You bought her a flip phone, but are holding onto it until her birthday comes around, just to surprise her with it.

The house is quiet and peaceful. This gets you thinking. Maybe Joel would like to come over. It had been a while since you had seen each other and had the house to yourselves. You avoided doing much when you knew people were coming over or when you weren't in the privacy of your own homes.

You make your way to his house, noticing the truck parked in his driveway as you approach.

“Oh, Tommy! Hi, how have you been?” your phone vibrates in your pocket, but you ignore it for the time being, since you haven't seen Tommy in a while.

Of course, he comes over when the girls go hang out at the mall.

Joel never wants to do anything when Tommy is in town because he just barges in randomly. He’s not very fond of knocking on doors.

“Hi! Everything’s been fine. Joel told me about Bridget, I’m so sorry, man,” he pats your arm before grabbing his jacket that’s hanging on the side of the door and throws it on.

“Thank you… say, do you know if Joel’s home? I need his help with something back at my place.”

“Yeah, he's upstairs right now. I was just about to leave anyway, so let me give him a call. Joel! Rosa's dad is here!”

Joel's voice calls from upstairs, “I'll be right down, Space Boy!”

You step aside to let Tommy get out and wait for Joel at the front door.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell Tommy something.” He speaks as he steps out the front door and follows his brother to his truck.

Joel is wearing a long-sleeved flannel shirt that he quickly covers with a thick jacket. He usually just wears neutral t-shirts. You blink as you watch him talk to his brother, the curls at the back of his head more visible because of the collar of the clothes around his neck.

He looks stunning. Your eyes stay fixed on him. Somehow, seeing him in more clothes than usual like this makes it unbearable to hold back.

“Space Boy?” he waves in an attempt to get your attention, even though it was he who was your distraction just moments ago. Tommy throws something into the back of his truck.

“Joel,” you say without looking away, shifting your weight from one leg to the other, your fingertips itching to grab him.

He walks toward you after hugging his brother goodbye.

 Tommy's leaving now, I could come over and take a look at that problem you were having at home?” his voice sounds a bit concerned, but you can't help but stare at how good he looks.

You're practically drooling.

“Yeah… I’d – ahem. Yeah, that would be amazing.”

“Let's head on over then, get it sorted out before Sarah and Rosa come back,” he grabs the house keys from inside and locks the house behind him, walking beside you.

“By the way, what do you need my help with? Tommy just mentioned you needing my help.”

“Oh. Um, I have a problem with the plumbing in the kitchen. Don't worry, I have the tools we need at home,” you lie, trying to keep the conversation as innocent as possible. While your brain is flooded with nothing but the thought of taking Joel's clothes off and fucking him senseless.

“Huh, alright. That shouldn't be too hard to figure out.”

You finally reach your house, unlock the door and let Joel go first, watching as he hangs his jacket on the hanger by the door. He makes his way to the kitchen as you lock the door behind you, throwing the keys on the couch table as you follow. You remove your jacket and put it on one of the chairs in the kitchen.

He's already standing by the sink, opening the door under it and running the water, just to see what the problem might be. But there is nothing wrong with it.

“Space Boy, what exactly is broken? I don't see anything...” he closes the cabinet door and turns off the water, stopping when you come closer, noticing your expression. There's mischief written all over it.

“I needed an excuse to have you come here, where we're all alone,” you kiss his cheek and touch his arm gently.

“Oh. So it’s your pipes that need checking, I assume?” He teases, pulling you in closely by your hips. 

“Please. You make this sound like a bad porno.”  You chuckle, his face inches from yours. You look down at his lips as they curve into a smile.

“We could shoot our own, once... for some lonely nights when we're apart.” He suggests, his eyes darting between your eyes and lips. Your knees feel weak at the thought.

“Fuck. Why do I feel like I’d enjoy the thought of you masturbating to it…” You rub your hands up his back over his shirt.

“Hmm. I'll make sure to tell you every time, then,” he whispers before kissing your lips once tenderly.

“Please do...” you whisper back.

His hands wander down from your hips to cup your butt cheeks.

“I thought about you the other night.” He begins, his breath hot against your neck as he leaves kisses on it.

“Mhm... tell me more...” you moan softly, the air getting hotter as his hands explore your body over your clothes.

“I imagined us on a theater date... and you sucking me off in the backseat.”

You roll your eyes as you close them, feeling yourself growing harder.

“I might have to do that sometime...” you breathe as your hands paw at his crotch, his hard-on pressing against the fabric of his jeans.

“You tried so hard to distract me from the movie.” He whispers before kissing your neck. “I had to punish you in the bathroom stalls...”

“Fuck... did we not get caught?”

“Nope. But I had to keep you quiet, you were so loud...” His hands slowly unzip your pants.

“Mh, how did you do that?”

His hand slides past the waistband of your underwear, his palm pressing against your cock.

“By kissing you... like this.” He places his other hand on the back of your neck and pulls you in for a deep kiss, his tongue entering your mouth without much hesitation.

You hum as he strokes you, the kiss managing to stifle your soft moans. It feels so good. It feels so good that it makes you go weak at the knees.

His hand leaves your underwear and you pull away from the kiss, your breathing hot and heavy as you stand close to one another.

“You always lose all your strength in your knees when we do something like this. It's adorable.” He says before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You nestle your face into his shoulder, your face and ears burning like crazy.

“I can't... control it.” You mumble.

“I know. Come here.”

He grabs your hand and walks over to the kitchen table, pulls back one of the chairs and sits on it, letting you sit on his lap to kiss you again. You shift as you free your erection over the waistband of your underwear.

Joel's hand wraps around both of your cocks after doing the same to his, his grip tight as he begins to rub them together. You groan into his shoulder as you move your hip, your breath hitching at the sensation.

He closes his eyes, his breathing getting heavier close to your ear as he continues. A soft moan escapes his lips.

You kiss him as you move your hips, trying to create more friction between the two of you. As your tip leaks pre-cum, it runs down the length of your shaft, making obscene noises as he keeps rubbing your cocks together.

“Fuck, Space Boy...” he moans softly as his breathing gets heavier.

“You look so good in those clothes... I could barely hold myself back in front of Tommy,” your voice is hushed and full of lust. You kiss Joel's neck, working your way down to his collarbone. You've undone a button or two to leave a few hickeys where no one but you can see them. Your face and body burn with the pleasure he's making you feel.

His grip around your cocks tightens, making his breath hitch. The hand on your lower back pulls you even closer. You feel so good like this, pressed up against him, kissing him wherever you want. You kind of wish you could just move in together and make this relationship official.

But you can't.

And you shouldn’t. 

So you keep grinding against him, searching for that sweet feeling of release as you close your eyes and kiss his lips. With furrowed brows and a moan, you are on the verge of your orgasm.

Thud!

Just as you're about to come, the sound of something hitting the ground behind you and someone gasping stops you. You freeze and whip your head around to the source of the sound.

Bridget is standing in the doorway to the kitchen, her hands over her mouth. There is a bag on the floor next to her.

Joel covers himself, pulling the hem of his shirt together with one hand and hiding his softening erection with the other.

“Bridget...? What are you doing here?” you panic breathlessly as you zip up your pants and straighten your clothes as you run after her, trying to get a hold of her arm as she turns to storm out.

“I can't fucking believe this. Don't touch me!” She slaps your hand away.

You panic just as she reaches for the doorknob, so you blurt out, “Bridget, wait! You take one step out of this house, and I’m showing the whole community the footage of you and Pastor Jorge.”

She turns to face you, her eyes full of anger and disgust as she tries to process what she just saw. Her chest rises and falls as she breathes heavily from all the intense emotions.

“How long has this been going on?!” her voice is sharp as she paces from one place to the other in front of you, “Is this why you're actually divorcing me? Joel just turned you into a fucking faggot?”

“Whoa, that's low, Bridget. No. This hasn’t been — “

"Actually, I don't wanna fucking know! You both disgust me.”

"Yeah, like you're one to talk," you cross your arms and look at her with a judgmental expression on your face.

She narrows her eyes as she looks at you. You know that face.

She’s really mad.

Joel walks into the living room, probably wanting to leave so you can discuss this with her. You gaze at him. He looks a bit uncomfortable, having been caught red-handed by your soon-to-be ex-wife.

“Hello, Bridget. Space Boy, I should really head back home, let you talk this through-“

Bridget walks up to you and slaps your cheek, the impact of her palm against it knocking your head away from him.

“Space Boy?! Is this how long it’s been going on, then? Did we move here just so you could fuck another man?” her accusations send an intense rage through your entire body.

You hold the palm of your hand against your burning cheek as you turn to look at her, feeling your fingernails digging into your other palm. You could just hit her. But you hold back. Her face reminds you of Rosa. And how she would hate to see the both of you arguing like this.

Joel reaches for your shoulder and gently pushes Bridget away from you.

“There's no need for violence here.” Joel says to her, keeping his hand on your shoulder as you stand there in silence.

“No,” you say in response to Bridget's questions, now honestly telling her how it actually happened, “This all started when I found out that you were cheating on me. I had no intention of actually sleeping with him, I just wanted to piss you off by kissing him in the beginning”.

She remains quiet. But you can see her anger boiling inside. Her eyebrows are furrowed, her eyes are staring at you as if she wants to kill you.

“I've changed my mind about you having custody of Rosa,” she says coldly.

Your heart stops. You know that mothers usually keep custody of their children, so when she says this, you panic. The possibility that she'll take Rosa away from you forever is greater than you thought.

“Please don't do this...” you say quietly.

“Huh? Speak up. Or are you too much of a sissy to actually argue with me?” her tone is mean. Joel's hand squeezes your shoulder. He's with you.

“I'm fine with us sharing custody of Rosa. And if she wants to stay with you and your parents most of the time, that's fine with me. But if you force her to stay with you and don't allow me to see her, I'm contacting the authorities,” you threaten her, not a trace of doubt visible on your face.

“We'll see about that,” she picks up her bag and walks to the door, “I won't tell anyone about you and Joel. Don't you dare do the same to me. But I must have a word with Rosa myself about the divorce. I'm sure she'll make up her mind about you then.”

You're left speechless. She leaves your house.

Joel pulls you around to look at your cheek.

“She got you good...” He reaches for your face, his fingers brushing gently across the reddened skin of your face.

You flinch at his touch. It hurts.

“Shit. I'm sorry, Space Boy. Let's put some ice on this.”

He guides you to the kitchen while you reflect on everything. You sit down on the chair where your moment of intimacy had just been ruined and groan when a frozen bag of peas is held to your aching cheek.

“I hate peas.” You mumble.

Joel smiles apologetically. “They were at the top of everything in your freezer.”

“I know. Bridget wanted me to make them.”

The pain on your cheek slowly subsides, but your heart aches as your lawyer's advice echoes in the back of your mind.

“Joel...we need to stop. No more touching, no more kissing, no more hanging out together unless it's for the girls. We're strictly just friends. Until the divorce goes through.” You say in a monotonous manner.

He frowns and looks to the side, contemplating.

“You're right. I hate it when you are.” He answers before planting a kiss on your lips. “But you’ve gotta promise me that you won’t lose your mind without me. And that you'll wait for me.”

You nod, a tear forming in the corner of your eye. “I promise, Joel.”

“One last kiss?” He asks, rubbing his thumb along your jaw line.

You nod and lean in to give him a tender kiss on the lips for the last time in a long time.

The moment makes your heart ache.

Rosa doesn't come home that night.

She is supposed to be home by 8 p.m. at the latest, but when the time comes, the door to the house does not open.

So you wait.

15 minutes.

You pace up and down the room, taking out your cell phone.

30 minutes.

You decide to call Joel and dial his phone number.

The dial tone rings for a moment until a voice answers.

“Space Boy?”

“Hey, Joel. Is Rosa at your place?”

“No? Is she still not home?”

“No. I'm gettin' a little worried.”

“Wait, let me ask Sarah if she knows where she is. Just a second.”

You bite your fingernail as you continue to pace the living room. Joel and Sarah's voices come faintly over the phone's speaker as you listen quietly.

“Hey, Sarah. Rosa still hasn't gotten home, do you know where she is?”

“Huh? Oh, her mom picked her up while we were still at the mall.”

“Thanks, baby.”

Joel's voice is clearer now. “Space Boy? You still there?”

“Yeah.”

“Rosa is apparently with Bridget.”

“Yeah, I heard. Thank you, Joel. Tell Sarah I said thanks too. I'll try to reach Bridget.”

“Ok. Call me if you need my help, alright?”

“I will. Talk to you later. Bye.” You hang up and dial Bridget's phone number. You wait for her to pick up, but she never does. It always goes to voice mail in the end.

“Fuck, Bridget, what have you done...”

You dial her mother's phone number. Thankfully, she picks up almost immediately.

“Hello?” An older woman's voice speaks through the phone.

“Hi, Edith? Are Bridget and Rosa home?”

“Oh, not that I know of. Bridget's been gone all day. Her car is still not here either. She wanted to get the rest of her things.”

“Lord... Edith, I think she's done something stupid. Rosa's friend told me they left together after the mall.”

“Have you tried contacting her?”

“Yes, I've tried about twenty times. It keeps going to voicemail.”

“We'll try to call her, just a second. John, can you call our daughter?” Her voice becomes muffled as she moves her head away from the phone's microphone. You wait a few minutes and hear the two people on the other end of the call talking to each other.

“She's not answering our calls either... Dear, you call the police, I'll be on the lookout and let you know if they show up here, okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

You call the police and tell them the situation, that you and your wife are going through a divorce, that you've reached a custody agreement. And that Bridget has not responded to any attempts to contact her since she picked Rosa up from the mall without being asked. She was supposed to stay with you that weekend.

They ask for her information, along with her license plate number, and let you know that they will be sending some officers to your house.

A few minutes later, three police cars arrive at your house. They connect your phones to some equipment in case Bridget calls.

One of the six officers comes over to you and starts to fill you in on the situation.

“So, we found a car that matches the description you gave us. It's on the highway right now, heading out of the country into Mexico. Our colleagues have tried to pull them over, but the driver has decided to ignore them. They are in pursuit.”

“Lord...” You whisper, holding on to the arm of your couch. You could collapse from all the stress. But you're in survival mode. You must find them. Yet, all you can do is wait.

You gnaw at your fingernail, rubbing the space between your eyebrows with your thumb.

“Don't worry, mister. My colleagues will do their best to keep your daughter safe.” The policeman reassures you before he goes back to talk to his colleagues, their radios continuing to buzz with more information.

You nod and sit down on the couch while they wait for a call from Bridget to your phone. But it remains silent. The amount of police cars outside your house has attracted some curious neighbors.

Joel and Sarah also show up and wave to you. But they, along with everyone else, get stopped by the officers standing at the front door.

“I'm sorry, everyone, I can't give you any more details about what's going on.” One of the officers tries to keep the people under control.

“Excuse me, officer. My daughter was with Rosa when her mother picked her up at the mall. Could we come inside?”

“Alright. Just the two of you. But I'll have to write down your names.”

“Sure, I'm Joel Miller and this is Sarah Miller.”

“Aight. Head on in.” He waves them in.

You stand up as they join you. Sarah and Joel both pull you into a hug.

“Hey, Space Boy. What's going on? Have they found them yet?”

“They have. Bridget is trying to leave the country with Rosa.”

“I hope she doesn't hurt Rosa.” Sarah sounds worried, her eyebrows furrowed as she takes off her jacket.

You nod. “They're doing the best they can.”

“Excuse me, miss. We'd like to ask you a few questions while you're here.”

Sarah nods and follows the officer into the kitchen to give her report.

“I can’t believe she would do something like this, Joel.” You fall back onto the couch, sinking into the cushions.

“I'm sorry...”

“Huh? For what?”

“I'm sorry that I didn't ask Sarah why Rosa didn't come to our house with her. I should have known something was off.”

You sit up and look at him.

“It's not your fault, Joel. Don’t blame yourself for this.”

He stays silent, turns his head to the side and looks out the window.

Some hours pass. Joel and Sarah stay overnight to keep you company. Sarah falls asleep on the couch, curled up next to you, her jacket covering her. Joel sits on the spot right next to her, listening carefully to what's going on around the two of you. The policemen keep you up to date from time to time.

It's three in the morning when the news comes in. Bridget had been successfully apprehended. Rosa was on her way home. Unharmed.

“Thank you so much, officers.” You shake their hands as you thank them and put on your jacket to go outside and wait for her. Joel was inside, trying to wake Sarah from her slumber. He comes out a few minutes later with her in his arms. She's still covered in her own jacket, her head resting against his chest.

“Will you be alright on your own?” He asks.

“Yeah, don't worry. I'll just be waitin' for Rosa. Thank you both for being here for me today.”

“Of course, Space Boy. We'll always be here.” The sad tone of his voice weighs on your shoulders.

“Good night, Joel.”

“Good night.  He walks off into the dark of the night.

Some minutes later, you notice the headlights of a car slowly approaching your house, stopping right in your driveway. A police officer gets out of the driver's side and opens the back door to help someone get out.

Rosa's head appears out of the car and when she sees you, her face softens from its frightened expression. She has a towel draped over her shoulders.

“Dad!” She comes running up to you and wraps her arms around you. “I was so scared.”

“I know... I'm so sorry this happened. I didn't think your mother would do something like this.” You rub her arms as you hug her.

“I'm so tired...” She presses her face into your chest.

“Let's get you inside quickly.” You look up at the policeman. “Thank you for bringing her home.”

Rosa is a little quieter than usual the next few days. You guess it's probably from the trauma of the whole situation, so you don't want to force her to talk about it until she's ready.

But one day, after you pick her up from Joel's, she's more fidgety than usual and avoids eye contact with you. That is, until the both of you are sitting on the couch watching TV together before bed.

“Dad?” She begins, her voice soft as she stares at the screen, the light emanating from it faintly illuminating her features. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” You turn off the television and look at her as you sit up. “What is it, Star?”

She looks to the side before meeting your eyes.

“Is it true that you and Joel are...” she begins, sounding a bit uncertain before whispering the last part, “...gay?”

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

go to sleep 🌚 im watchin u

hello dear partner.

i just wanted to say that you are an amazing writer and artist in general. you are doing amazing fics for male readers.

pls know that you are loved.

ps. go to sleep before midnight ly.

I wish I could fall asleep without taking melatonin at night

sathyoulittlepieceofshitiwillgotobedwheneveriwantto

lytoo

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

ART. PURE. ART. I LOVE THIS.

i really have no words to describe HOW GOOD THIS IS and HOW FUN IT WAS to be able to help a little :D

youre welcome, ted. i really enjoyed helping you <3

Lying eyes

When you bought your dream home for you and your family, you didn't think your life would fall apart so quickly. Because of the person you dedicated your life to, your whole life fell apart in an instant. Wanting nothing more than revenge, you come up with the best plan and find the best accomplice to pull it off. What you didn't know was that your “partner in crime” would end up being too helpful.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Male!Reader Word count: 13k words

Warnings: adultery, christianity, homophobia, young!Joel Miller, SMUT!, 18+ MDNI!, fic takes place in late 2003, non-outbreak au (ANOTHER one), reader is married and has a daughter, top! Joel Miller, bot! Reader, Y/N is only used ONCE

This fic is inspired by @sweetenerobert 's "the drunken series" <3 Also, a big thank you to @obsessedwithpedritoofc for helping me on this one, he wrote the summary and helped with some of the proofreading, so go check out his fics, too!

“Can you believe it, Jen? Abigail's husband cheated on her with another man. Yes, I know! Poor thing. It's the absolute worst kind of insult towards a wife, exactly!” your wife's voice, though muffled, is still loud enough to be heard as you pack everything up for the big move. You'd finally saved up enough money to buy the house of your dreams. The only missing piece of the puzzle was getting rid of that nagging feeling in the back of your head.

Bridget, your wife of 16 years, had been acting different in recent months, taking longer at work, sometimes working late into the evening. There were also suspicious little notes you'd find in her purse whenever she asked you to get something out of it. But the most irritating thing was the way she looked at you. Her gaze used to be filled with admiration, respect and love, but it had turned sour and cold over the years.

The move wasn't just because you were moving to your dream house, no. It was also because of that lingering feeling. Jealousy. After all, Bridget loved talking to men as if she weren't married. Of course, she wouldn't stop doing that once you moved into a new house and neighborhood. But maybe she'd look at you the same way she did before. In your eyes, it was worth a try.

Sure, you weren't perfect either, you didn't always pick up after yourself, but you tried your best. You always made sure to spend as much time as possible with your daughter Rosa.

An intelligent fourteen-year-old girl who loves boy bands and your, as she likes to call it, “old man” music, Rosa is a delight to talk to. When she was a toddler, she made you dress up as a princess, which you didn't object to, as she was the brightest ray of sunshine you had ever met.

She was also a part of the reason why you tried so hard to keep the family together, and why you and your wife were still married to each other.

Since you decided to hire a moving company, the day of the move was easier than you originally thought. They loaded all the labeled boxes and furniture into their giant moving truck in less than two hours.

Just as they were unloading everything into your new house, you were helping them get some boxes out. One of the neighbors, last name Miller, stopped by to say hello and ask if he could help in any way. You politely declined, imagining Bridget flirting with such a handsome man.

“I understand,” he said, before adding, “but as a welcome gift, I'd like to invite you to a barbecue. Just so you and your family can get to know the people around here.”

He seemed like a sweet and sincere guy, so you agreed.

It took a week to get settled in your new house, but now it finally felt more comfortable. Rosa starts school next week, and today, on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, the welcoming party is over at the Millers' house.

You were anxious. Mr. Miller had been very charming when you'd first met him, and it had been impossible to say no to him. What could possibly happen between him and Bridget?

Shaking your head not to worry too much, you put your hand on Rosa's small shoulder before ringing the doorbell. Bridget looks into a hand-held mirror and fixes her hair.

“Just a second!” a young girl's voice calls as footsteps approach the door. When the door opens, a teenage girl with beautiful curly hair adorned with colorful bobby pins stands in front of you and your family, waving happily.

“You must be the new neighbors! I'm Sarah, nice to meet you. Dad's in the backyard with the others, come on in, I'll show you the way!”

You smile as you close the door behind you, gently pushing Bridget and Rosa in front of you.

As the four of you make your way to the backyard, you can't help but look around the house. You notice the lack of pictures of Sarah's mother, only photos of her and her dad, along with presumably Mr. Miller's brother.

The backyard isn't the biggest you've ever seen, but it's big enough to host a party like this. There are about 5 to 10 people scattered around. Some holding beers, some holding glasses of various drinks, with booze or without. The man of the house is at the grill, already hard at work.

Sarah introduces some of the neighbors from the area. The Adlers are there with a cute border collie. But other than them, the only other names you remember hearing are Denise and Pastor Jorge, the entire thing a bit exhausting. Having greeted everyone in the area, you manage to get to him.

“Hello, Mr. Miller. Thank you so much for inviting us here today,” Bridget says with a big smile as she approaches him as well.

“Oh! Hello! It's my pleasure. But please, call me Joel.” Holding the tongs in his left hand, he shakes hands with everyone.

“Hi, M- Joel. This is my wife, Bridget,” you gesture to her, fake a smile and continue, “and this is my daughter, Rosa. We're thrilled to be here.”

“Hello, Rosa. Sarah would probably like to chat with you, why don't you two hang out together? You'll be going to the same school on Monday, so it would be great if you could make a friend already,” Joel says. He pats Sarah on the back and encourages the two girls to spend some time getting to know each other.

You touch Rosa's arm before she leaves, wanting to make sure she's going to be all right. “Just holler if you need me, alright, Star?”

Rosa smiles at you before she leaves with Sarah, “I'll be fine, Dad.”

A worried smile spreads across your face as you watch the two girls walk into the house, Sarah excitedly asking about Rosa's interests as they go.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of Bridget adjusting her blouse to make herself look more attractive. Overwhelming feelings of jealousy and fear sweep over you.

“So, Joel. Is there a Mrs. Miller we should introduce ourselves to?” Bridget's tone is more flirtatious than curious.

“Nope. It's just Sarah and me,” Joel answers in a cold tone and turns to you, his fake smile turning into a genuine expression when his eyes meet yours. He doesn't seem to be dwelling on this topic, and from now on he acts rather cold towards your wife.

“I'm really glad to have another family around with a kid about Sarah's age. I worry about her a ton,” he gestures toward the cooler for you to grab something to drink.

“Oh, I'm glad about that too, actually. Rosa had a hard time moving away from her friends, so I hope for the best,” you grab one of the bottles of beer as you continue to chit-chat.

Bridget seems to have given up trying to flirt with Joel. She starts chatting with some of the other people around, mostly with Pastor Jorge.

He's a young, good-looking man of the Lord, but you are hoping Bridget won't make a fool of your family in front of the face of the local church. You still keep an eye on her as you chat with Joel, your eyes wandering over to her from time to time, not paying as much attention to the conversation you're having as you should.

“Huston to Space Boy, you there?” Joel notices you're spacing out and takes a sip from his beer bottle before nudging you.

Space Boy. That's the first time he's called you that. It won't be the last. You have a tendency to be a bit spacey from time to time. It’ll stick.

“Huh? What? Oh, I'm so sorry, Joel. I just wanted to make sure…” you stop before finishing the sentence and frown before taking a big gulp of your beer, not wanting to bring up the subject.

“You're good, don't worry about it,” he smiles.

“No, no, I'm not. I should have paid more attention to our conversation. Let me just… stand here,” as you say this, you move so that your back is to where Bridget is standing.

Joel watches you in silence, his brow furrowed.

“If you don't mind me asking, is everything okay between you and the missus?” his tone sounds genuinely concerned.

Your brow furrows as you look at him, and your gaze shifts to look down at the ground. Neither of you say anything for a second, silence saying more than any words could.

“I see.”

The rest of the party goes on as normal, the food that Joel and Sarah cooked is amazing, and thankfully the girls seem to like each other very much. For the rest of the afternoon, you don't pay too much attention to your wife. She mostly sticks to other people, but it doesn't matter, because you get to talk to Joel more and get to know him better.

He is an interesting man. He works in the construction business and sometimes looks at his wrist as if he has a watch on and then slaps it before pulling out his mobile phone to check the time. The other thing that strikes you as interesting about him is that he likes to watch trashy movies. You don't really understand it, but he swears they're hilarious and invites you to watch some with him.

Thus, a month or two passed. Your new job was pretty standard. The hours were actually good, and you were well paid. Sarah and Rosa hung out a lot, most of the time at your place, because Joel was working so late from time to time. But you had no problem with that at all. You were relieved that Rosa had found such a good friend. And Joel was always a pleasure to have a chat with, whenever you had the chance to see him.

Bridget spent most of her time outside the house, tending to the garden and going to work. Life seemed to be returning to normal.

Until that fateful day.

The weather is perfect. A gentle breeze is blowing through the neighborhood on a warm Friday afternoon. You left work early to pick up Rosa and Sarah from school. But first, to get Rosa's overnight bag, you have to stop by the house. It's a surprise for the two girls that you and Joel came up with.

As you walk up to your front door, you get a strange feeling. Bridget's car is in the driveway, even though she's supposed to be at work this time of day.

As you unlock the door, you hear some noises coming from upstairs. 

Part of it is music.

The other part is… squeaking.

With soft footsteps, you make your way up the stairs, the floorboards giving no hint of your presence as you creep toward the room where the noise is coming from. 

The lyrics of the song get louder the closer you walk towards your bedroom.

He takes off her dress now

Let me go

I just can’t look, it’s killing me

And taking control

You stand in front of your bedroom door.

It isn't shut, so you slowly push it open to peek inside. What you see just breaks something inside you. There they are. Bridget and Pastor Jorge. Both naked on your bed, fucking like rabbits. Slowly and quietly, you step away and leave the house. You don't stop walking, your mind racing as jealousy, sadness, and pain overtake you.

Everything you've suspected before has come true.

What am I going to do now? 

Fuck.

You squeeze the skin on the bridge of your nose between your index finger and thumb. But you don't stop walking, aimlessly wandering down the street, your eyes blank, staring down at the pavement. The feeling deep in your stomach, like heavy, churning concrete.

Your feet slowly take one step after another. You keep walking, aimlessly, only to get away from it all. Until someone puts a hand on your shoulder and pulls you back just a little bit. You freeze and turn to see who it is, your eyes blinking once or twice.

“Space Boy, you alright?” Joel looks at you with a concerned expression. “I called out to you, but you didn't answer. You look pale as a ghost.”

“J-…” you fall silent for a moment before you mumble in a trembling voice, “No, I'm not…”

“Come inside. I'll give you something to drink.”

“…” you nod and follow him indoors. You take off your shoes and sit down on the couch, staring at the floor in front of you.

After handing you a glass of water, he sits down next to you. He still has a worried look on his face.

“So… do you wanna talk about what's got you so rattled?”

You take a big sip of water and take a deep breath before you finally answer, your voice breaking, “I found Bridget cheating on me with Pastor Jorge, Joel. I was just gonna grab Rosa's overnight bag.”

“Shit.”

“You said it.”

“I'm so sorry this happened to you,” he says. His hand rests on your arm, squeezing it slightly for comfort.

“Honestly… I've always suspected that something was going on. It's been years since she's accepted any kind of romantic gesture from me. Her eyes used to look at me with such love… now they are cold.“

Joel listens to you carefully, his hand slipping from your arm to give you a little space.

“What am I supposed to do now…?”

“Oh, Space Boy… you'll have to talk to her about it.”

“I… can't confront her like this… I… Rosa is… Joel, I don't want to get a divorce because of her… it would break her heart.”

“Rosa is a strong young girl, I'm sure she would understand.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply before nodding, “You're right. But I can't go back home like this. I don't even know if I could fall asleep beside her.”

“Would you like to sleep over tonight to get some distance? Rosa is already sleeping over. It could just be a double sleepover.”

“I think that's a good idea. But would that be okay?”

“Of course, don't you worry.”

You take a look at your watch and check the time.

“Shit. I still need to get the bag.”

“We'll figure it out later. For now, we can just wait and talk before we get the girls. We can also take my car.”

“Alright…thanks, Joel.”

“I'd also suggest you get checked for any STDs. Bridget could have been sleeping around before you moved here,” there's real concern in his voice. You nod in response, mentally making a note to do so in the coming weeks.

You take a moment to calm down, but your initial disbelief of the situation quickly turns to anger.

I can't believe she would do this to me. 

Especially with a Pastor?!

How scummy is that man, anyways? He knows we're married.

Man of the Lord, my ass.

You rant a bit to get it out of your system, breaking the silence between you and Joel.

“I did everything for the family. I loved Bridget and she just stabs me in the back like this?” you mutter, mostly to yourself but also loud enough for him to hear.

The gears in your head begin to turn.

Bridget's voice echoes in your head, “Can you believe it, Jen? Abigail's husband cheated on her with another man. Yeah, I know! The poor thing. It's the worst insult towards a wife, exactly!”

The worst kind of insult, wasn't it?

“I have an idea. I need to cheat on her with another man.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“She said that a husband cheating on his wife with another man was the worst thing. Ever.”

“Okay. But are you into men…?”

“No.”

“Do you know any gay men?”

“Nope.”

“Then who do you…”

“You, Joel. Please help me fake an affair.”

“You're out of your goddamn mind. I don't want to be some kind of homewrecker,” he stands up and paces around in front of you.

“No, you're perfect for this! We're comfortable around each other, and I'm pretty sure my wife wanted to get in your pants the moment she laid eyes on you. Plus, she's the real home-wrecker here. It would be the best revenge plan.”

“… You’ve got a point. But still – ”

“Please, Joel. I need this.”

“… Fine. What's your plan?”

You start by explaining your idea: “Well, since I didn't get to pick up Rosa's sleepover bag, I could call her and have her bring it along with my sleepover bag, saying that I had parked at home but saw you down the street and just decided to join you. I'd ask her if she could bring both of them over, and while she's walking up to your front door, we'll be “making out” on the couch. Hopefully, she can see us through one of the windows. If she doesn't, I'd add some stuff. When I go to open the door, I'd tell her that I want a divorce, that I know she's having an affair with Pastor Jorge and that I'm leaving her. And that I've cheated on her with you. She would be devastated.”

Joel's reaction is one of bewilderment, but also of amusement. “I'm not sure that's the best thing to do in this case. But it sounds fun, to say the least.”

You pick up your Siemens phone and long press the pound key to unlock it before dialing Bridget's phone number. The keys on the keypad beep each time your shaky thumb presses down on them.

You press the call button and hold the phone to your ear, listening to the dialing tone.

“Hello?” Bridget sounds a little out of breath as she answers.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

“Oh, hi, honey.”

“I saw your car out front, are you home right now?”

“… Yeah.”

“Could you do me a small favor? I forgot Rosa's overnight bag but got caught up at Joel's, could you bring it over?”

“Sure. Is there anything else you need?”

“Yeah, Joel invited me to stay over tonight as well. We've been meaning to watch a movie, so I thought what better time than now. This way, you can also hang out with your girlfriends, tonight!”

“Okay, I'll be over in ten minutes.”

“Thanks, honey. Love you. Bye.”

“Love you too. See you soon.”

You wait anxiously for a couple of minutes, while Joel quietly paces around the house, looking down at his cell phone several times to check the time.

Three minutes go by.

Four minutes.

Five minutes pass.

Your stomach turns as time seems to stand still.

Eight minutes fly by.

The couch creaks from Joel's weight on it. Your mind is still racing with thoughts of the sight of Bridget and Pastor Jorge, your chest is tight from all the fury and pain.

You pull your legs up onto the couch and shift to face him, your face now mere inches away from his. Before reaching out to touch your cheek, he gives you an apologetic smile.

“It's going to be alright, Space Boy,” his voice is calm and reassuring.

It has been long since you've been touched in this way, and a frown spreads across your face. You close your eyes as you rest your head against his palm, feeling the warmth radiating from it.

The moment feels very intimate somehow, and you feel nervous as he leans in closer to you, his lips almost touching yours.

“… are you sure we should do this?” Joel whispers, his other hand resting on your leg.

You half open your eyes to look at him and think it over once more.

Of course. 

It's the best way to get back at her. 

She said it herself. 

The worst thing a husband can do is cheat on his wife with another man.

And you felt so comfortable with Joel that you could fake it with him. 

You nod, your eyes exploring his softening expression.

“Okay,” he whispers. And then, like a wave washing over you, your emotions come crashing down the moment his soft lips touch yours, making your eyes widen in response. The hotness of his lips against yours makes the kiss feel almost like it burns.

You swear you can feel sparks flying all around you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you close them as a shudder runs through your body, the feeling in your chest from before being lifted and replaced by a quickened heartbeat.

As you reciprocate the kiss, your hand moves to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. You wrap your arms around him, feeling his warmth against you. The kiss is so intense that it feels like your stomach is being ripped open. A tear rolls down your cheek.

With almost no effort, Joel pushes you back onto the couch, never breaking the kiss you share. You lick his lower lip, wanting to deepen the kiss, which he does. You moan unexpectedly into his mouth as his cold, calloused hand slides up your shirt and explores your upper body. Joel's fingers brush over your nipple, causing you to squirm under him.

When he finally manages to pull away from the kiss, you open your eyes to meet Joel's. They are as confused and overwhelmed by what just happened as you are. The silence is heavy, almost suffocating. He sits up and helps you do the same, taking you by the hand.

“You, uh…” Joel stares at you, but can't find the words to say, his mind seemingly empty, but at the same time full of thoughts.

“Huh… yeah…” you respond, swallowing your spit as you go through similar emotions. You look into his dark brown eyes.

“So…?”

“Mhm…”

“Yeah…” Joel lets go of your hand after squeezing it tightly.

The doorbell brings you out of the loop of this strange conversation, you stand up and walk to the door, feeling dazed and completely forgetting the plan.

You open the door and are brought back to reality when you see Bridget standing there with the two bags of clothes you'd asked for.

“Oh, thanks, love.” You peck her on the temple, not changing your expression one bit as your inner monologue continues to freak out about what just happened. When you open your mouth to continue, your eyes look through her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Joel and I are having a movie night together. And don't worry, Sarah and Rosa will also be under our watch, so you can have a nice evening with your girls,” you add, noticing her silence.

You are so uncharacteristically dazed and repetitive that she frowns and looks between you and Joel, who has gotten up and is standing behind you.

”A… Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Her nose scrunches a little as she replies. The light afternoon breeze makes her brown, messy hair dance. She turns around to leave, and you close the door behind her.

You turn to face Joel, your eyes going from his eyes down to his hands. Your blood rushes to your face as you remember the feeling of his hands under your shirt.

Joel takes a step back to let you place the bags next to the couch.

“… we should get going and pick up the girls,” you mumble. Your whole world just collapsed in front of you in less than an hour. You're not even certain if what you felt when you kissed Joel were genuine feelings or if it was just the thrill of it all, but it was the most electrifying moment you've ever experienced. Not even your first kiss had felt like this.

“Yes. Let's go,” Joel mumbles thoughtfully, his voice low.

He gets into the driver's seat of his car and you sit in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead, your mind racing. The drive to the girls' school is silent. Not a word is exchanged between the two of you. Not even when the girls are in the back seat, excited about the sleepover you've surprised them with.

When it comes to dinner, neither you nor Joel are in a state of mind where you can cook, so you decide to order a pizza. While you are waiting for the pizza to arrive, you go to the bathroom and wash your face with cold water to cool down from everything. Every time you blink, an image of Bridget and Pastor Jorge flashes behind your eyelids.

But that's not all. Joel's confused face flashes between them sometimes, along with the lingering feeling of his touch. It messes with your body. You don't know whether you're angry, in pain, or… excited?

You pull your cell phone out of your pocket and quickly press the keys to send Joel a text message.

After quickly pressing the numbered keys, the message you send to Joel reads, “We need to talk after dinner.”

The pizza arrives soon after, you sit down at the table, and Joel hands you a bottle of beer. He nods when your eyes meet. He got your message. You'll talk about it later. The anxiety keeps you from eating much, but at least Rosa and Sarah are having a great time.

“Can we go hang out in my bedroom already?”

“Yeah sure. Have a nice time, you two. We still need to talk about some things, so just knock on my bedroom door if you need anything.”

The moment the door to Sarah's bedroom closes behind them, music starts playing loudly. As you sit at the kitchen table with Joel, the muffled music switches sporadically between Destiny's Child and the Backstreet Boys, the two girls screaming and singing along to the songs.

You take a deep breath before getting up to leave, Joel standing right behind you. Your steps are light. But the heartbeat in your ears is louder than the music coming from Sarah's room as you and Joel make your way to his bedroom.

He locks the door behind him once inside, and you pause to look around the room. His bed is a mess. The hamper in front of his wooden bed frame is filled to the brim with dirty clothes. A landscape painting with a deer on it hangs above his bed, two music posters on either side of it.

Your eyes wander over to notice the items on the dresser by the window, the light coming in from outside a warm orange tint as the sun sets. On the dresser are various things, like an open, empty CD case next to the radio/CD player, some boxes, probably for storage, and a large book. In the corner next to it, you notice a treadmill.

A sigh leaves your lips as you remember why you're here.

“Joel. How do I say this…” You rub your face with the palms of your hands, turning your back to him. After a deep sigh, you continue bashfully, “I've never felt like that when I kissed someone in the past.”

“It's not just you, Space Boy…” a deep sigh leaves his lips as he brings his fist to his forehead, his other hand resting on his hip as he paces.

“Do you think… could it be that it was just the thrill of it?”

“Hm… maybe. It's possible. It could be that it was. But what if it wasn't?”

“If it wasn't… then…” you fall silent and turn to look at him once more.

“There's no going back,” Joel's voice comes out in a serious tone as he stops pacing around and looks back at you.

“Maybe. Only one way to find out, then,” you swallow, your throat awfully dry.

He furrows his brow and rubs the space between his eyebrows with his thumb.

“You're right.”

“We could… try it again, if that's okay with you,” you suggest quietly.

He stares at the ground for a second, thinking about it.

“Yeah, fuck it, I'm in.”

“Ok. Ehm… You wanna do it… now?”

“Mhm.”

Joel reaches for your hands and pulls you close, your chests touching. A similar feeling as before comes over you as you look into his eyes. His right hand lets go of yours and he caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers, his eyes darting between your eyes and lips.

“Let's get this over with,” a mere whisper leaves your lips before you connect them to his, the feeling even more intense than in the afternoon. Your hands grab onto his shirt, pulling him closer to you as you slowly move back into the bed to sit on it.

Joel almost falls onto the bed as you sit down on it, his hands pressing into the mattress to hold himself up. You let go of his shirt and place your hand over his, pulling away from the kiss to look at his face.

The expression on his face is all you need, to know that there's no turning back now. You both feel the same. Your hand squeezes his.

“Fuck, Space Boy. This is really bad,” he whispers.

“I don't care,” is all that leaves your lips before you connect them to his one more time. Bridget is a mere ghost in the back of your mind now, the heat running through your body pushing everything else away. Your heart pounds like a thousand drums in your chest, the kiss now more intense as you deepen it.

The only response you get from Joel is a small grunt as his free hand squeezes your thigh, making you groan. As the excitement builds between you, the air becomes hot. Your hands cling onto him, trying to hold on as tightly as you possibly can, as if you'll die the moment you let go.

His hand finds its way to your crotch. It gently presses against your covered, growing hard-on. The uncertainty of the touch makes you reciprocate, your trembling hand now touching him through his jeans as well.

Joel pulls away to leave kisses along your jawline and down your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You grow needier. Wanting more of his touch. And to touch him more.

Your breath hitches as his hand gropes your cock through your clothes, the pleasure you feel from it foreign. It's almost overwhelming. You have to stifle a moan as your hand puts a little more pressure on his crotch.

He feels so hard through his pants. It makes you feel a certain way you can’t quite describe. This is all too new for you. Feeling pleasure from another man's touch is messing with your head. With all the new feelings inside you, you could burst into flames.

You pull back your trembling hands, your body feeling heavy and electrified as he continues to touch you through your jeans, his lips and breath against your neck sending a shudder down your spine. The muffled beat of “I want it that way”, along with the scream-singing of the girls, changes to the next track on the album.

“W-Wait-…we shouldn't go any further. Sarah and Rosa are — a-are right next door… what if they need us?” you breathe heavily as your heart is practically bursting out of your chest.

Joel protests with a groan as he backs away a bit to look at your face, his cheeks slightly flushed. He sighs before caressing your cheek, so unexpectedly sweet.

“I hate that you're right,” he whispers before planting another kiss on your lips, catching you off guard.

Before standing up to adjust your pants, you blink and clear your throat.

“We-… we can… we can…” it’s hard to find the words. Your chest feels so tight with how fast your heart is racing, your knees feel like jello.

“We can?” Joel stands up and looks at the floor as he pulls his pants back up, the outline of his boner through his jeans making you swallow.

“W-… we can… we could, maybe… sometime when we're all alone,” you stumble over the words.

He chuckles before nodding, “We could. But for now, let's just go watch that movie.”

You both leave his bedroom and sit on opposite ends of the couch like two teenagers who have feelings for each other and want to avoid getting caught by their parents. After a few moments of silence, the two of you finally decide to watch the movie that Joel has picked out.

“I swear, it's a classic,” Joel remarks as he pops the rental disc into the player, and the 13-year-old movie “Tremors” lights up on the CRT TV.

You don't pay much attention to it, though, your mind is on everything that happened today. Thinking about it is making you exhausted, and soon you are drifting off to sleep, your head resting on the back of the couch.

The next morning, you wake up with the sunlight hitting your face. You stare at the unfamiliar ceiling as the memories of yesterday begin to flood your brain. You bury your face in your hands and groan to yourself before sitting up. It's embarrassing enough that you shared such an intimate moment last night, but your confused muttering afterward makes your ears burn now that you've thought it all over.

You don't remember falling asleep, but when you woke up, you were tucked in on the couch, your head resting on a soft pillow. So Joel must have tucked you in before he left. A warm feeling spreads through your stomach at the thought.

“Good morning, Dad!” Rosa comes running down the stairs to where you were sitting on the couch.

“Morning, sunshine,” you smile as you hug her back and kiss her forehead before asking, “Did you two have fun yesterday?”

“Oh my gosh, yes! We just had a little dance and karaoke party!” her voice is excited.

“Good morning, Dad! I'm going to make breakfast with Rosa and her dad, so please don't take too long!” Sarah's voice is loud and clear as she knocks on Joel's bedroom door to wake him up. You chuckle at the commotion coming from upstairs.

“Can you believe it, Dad? They’re making the guests prepare breakfast,” Rosa jokes as she helps you get to your feet. You stretch your back as you watch your daughter run toward her friend to follow her into the kitchen.

“Good morning, Sarah,” you say as you enter the kitchen and see the girls already looking for ingredients to make breakfast.

“Morning!” she replies, but immediately goes back to telling Rosa what she needs to do, “Could you grab a bowl from over there?”

You quietly join them, preparing the coffee maker while they make some batter. Soon the smell of freshly brewed filter coffee dances in the air along with the sweet smell of pancakes. With a mug in hand, you pour the dark liquid into it.

“Sarah, do you have any milk left?” you ask her before setting the mug down on the table.

She nods before answering, “There should be some left in the fridge. DAD! BREAKFAST!”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm right here. Good morning, everyone,” Joel appears around the corner, still sleepy, and grabs a mug to pour some coffee into.

You smile broadly, pour some milk into your mug, and sit down at the table the girls have set up. In the middle of the table is a plate with a tall stack of pancakes. The steam coming from them smells delicious.

“Here, the maple syrup and butter,” Rosa sets both things down beside you before giving you a big hug, “Thank you, dad. I love being with my two favorite people in the world. Don't tell mom I said that.”

You gasp dramatically at the comment, “How could you say that? Right in front of Sarah? I know Joel and I are your favorites, but that is low, Rosa.”

She rolls her eyes audibly.

“If anything, Joel and Sarah would be my favorites. Don't know why you included yourself,” she sticks out her tongue as she sits beside you.

Joel laughs at the interaction between you and your daughter.

You take a sip of coffee, blinking as the butterflies in your stomach slowly awaken. The morning is pleasant. The girls are in a good mood and so are you.

And Joel is… Breathtaking, without exaggerating.

The light coming in through the window makes his skin glow in a warm tone. When he reaches for his coffee, his biceps look amazing. It's hard to keep your eyes off him. He notices you staring. His gaze meets yours for a few seconds before he turns to his daughter and smiles. It's only when Rosa asks about the movie you watched the night before that you snap out of it.

“Dad? Are you theeeeere?”

“Huh? What? Sorry, I was just thinking about something,” you turn to look at her.

“The movie? How was it?”

“Oh… Eh, it was good? Yeah. It was good.”

Joel laughs and corrects you, “Space Boy here fell asleep within the first fifteen minutes of the movie.”

Rosa gasps, “Dad!”

“Ugh, yeah, I fell asleep. But it wasn't because the movie was bad. I was just really, really tired.”

Joel shakes his head before taking a sip of his coffee.

“You don't need to lie to us. If you didn't like it, you're just not allowed in this house anymore,” he says in a monotone voice, his eyes meeting yours. There is a playful gleam in his eyes.

You blink, speechless.

The girls laugh, and in a heartbeat the conversation changes to another topic.

The sleepover at the Millers' gave you a much-needed break from home. But once you are back in your house, you're determined to get proof that Bridget is cheating on you, just in case you need it in court.

You head up to the attic to look for an old nanny cam you had when Rosa was a baby. It is a bit bigger than the modern ones, but you're sure you can hook it up to a VCR to record the “surveillance” footage.

So as not to arouse suspicion, you take a day off work, but don't tell your family, pretending that you're going to work in the morning and returning home when you know the house is empty.

The nanny cam is easy to hide in your bedroom. You have some wall shelves that hold a lot of trinkets, so it's easy to hide it there. The only tricky part is hiding the cable that goes to the recorder. On the same shelf is a broken CD player, so you work on it for a couple of hours to modify it to fit the recorder.

It's done. This way you should catch them red-handed.

Afterward, you leave the house and make your way to Planned Parenthood to get tested for any STDs. It's quick and painless when it's your turn, and after giving them your cell phone number, you head home, arriving at your usual time.

Some days later, you get a call while at work. You are clean.

One less thing to worry about. You tell Joel the next time you're alone with him.

It's been a couple of weeks since you spent some time with Joel. And it has its reasons. Whenever your eyes meet, your heart won't stop racing. You have the urge to just grab him and kiss him every time you see him.

The feeling in your chest gets tighter and tighter every time you see each other. Whenever you are alone in a room, however, you sneak a touch or a kiss before anyone shows up.

But never in the bedroom.

As time goes by, you also begin to prepare for the future. Aside from setting up the nanny cam — and getting some good footage of Bridget and the Pastor going at it — you secretly go to see a lawyer to get the divorce papers ready. Not sharing a thought about it to anyone in your family. It's supposed to be a surprise. Especially to Bridget. You can wait until the time is right and then tell Rosa. Hopefully she'll understand.

One Saturday afternoon, it's your turn to take out the garbage. The Millers are coming over for dinner that night because the girls are going on a school trip and Bridget insisted on talking to Joel about it. So you go around the house, from room to room, collecting the bags and tidying up as you go. When you get to the trash can in the adjacent bedroom bathroom, you notice a white plastic object in it that looks suspiciously like a pregnancy test.

Since you saw Bridget and Pastor Jorge in bed together, you hadn't even thought about having sex with her. It had also been months since you'd done anything sexual with her.

You reach for it with shaking hands, your heartbeat pounding in your ears as you see the result.

It's positive.

As you sit on the lid of the toilet, holding onto your leg, the gears in your head begin to turn. Bridget has been more affectionate lately. Gently stroking your arm as she walked by, kissing you in your favorite places, looking at you with caring eyes.

It was all starting to make sense. It made sense why she was trying to be intimate with you. It seemed like she was in a panic every time you turned her down.

Thankfully, you did always turn her down.

She's planning to lie to me again.

You'd seen through her plan. She wanted to make sure that you would not suspect that she was cheating on you. So she planned to have sex in order to lie to you, to tell you it's your child.

You take a deep breath before putting the pregnancy test back in the bag and washing your hands thoroughly. Then, after staring at your reflection in the mirror for a minute or two, you pick up the smaller bag and take out almost all of the trash without a word. The last bit would have to wait.

Rosa and Sarah have a school trip on Monday. That will be the perfect time to give her the divorce papers. Until then, you'll have to live with the knowledge.

Joel and Sarah's visit was like a gift from God. It saved you from uncomfortable touches, flirting, and seduction attempts by your wife. Your eyes were cold whenever you looked at her. She betrayed her promise to only stay with you for the rest of your life. You were no better, but the thought of revenge tasted all too good.

She doesn't even try to flirt with Joel when you sit at the table together, which surprises you. Dinner passes normally, Rosa and Sarah are excited about the upcoming trip. Joel and Bridget discuss who's going to drive them. Since you won't have much time to drop the girls off that morning, Bridget offered to drive them.

Good.

That is very good.

You could leave the divorce papers with your note when they leave. She won't see them until she gets home from work at the latest. You'll be spending the night with Joel anyway.

The dining room clears up soon after you've finished eating. The girls go to Rosa's bedroom and look through the things she should pack, together. You do the dishes. Bridget goes to the bathroom.

The moment you and Joel are alone in a room, you pull him in for a quick kiss and whisper to him, “Bridget is pregnant. I'm giving her the divorce papers along with pictures of the footage I took of her and the Pastor when Sarah and Rosa are gone next week.”

The looks on his face never fail to make you laugh. He leans back against the kitchen counter, his eyes wide open. His hands are behind his back, clutching the cold marble.

“Space Boy, you've gotta warn me when you drop information like that. Is… is it yours?” he whispers, looking behind him to make sure no one is coming around the corner.

“No. Can't be mine. She also has no idea that I'm aware that she's pregnant. When I leave the papers out for her to see, can I come over –” you hear some footsteps approaching the kitchen and take a step back so as not to be so suspiciously close to Joel.

“Can I come over next week on Monday for another movie night?” you smile as you ask him in a normal tone. Looking at the two of you, Bridget steps into the kitchen.

“Oh sure! Sounds like I'll have to pick up Tremors 2 from the video store,” Joel turns to nod at her.

“Are you two planning another movie night together?” her voice sounds a little sad.

“Yeah. Is that okay, love?” you touch her arm as she comes closer to you.

“I… Well, I thought since Rosa is gone, we could have a date. It feels like it's been forever…”

“I promise we'll have a date after that, okay?” you fake a smile, caressing her cheek gently, “Joel doesn't always have time because of his job, and Rosa's gone the whole week.”

“… Alright.” Bridget gives you a quick peck on the lips.

You look at Joel when she does, a grin spreading across his lips.

Bridget leaves you two alone for a few more minutes and goes upstairs to check on the girls.

“Joel, we're not going to be able to stay at yours. She'll come knocking when she finds the papers,” you whisper.

He nods and presses his clenched fist to his lips before suggesting, “We could stay at a motel. I know a good one not too far from here, but it's a little hard to find. I know the owner too.”

You quickly kiss him before answering, “That sounds wonderful. Finally, we'll have a room… all to ourselves.”

The house becomes eerily quiet after the Millers leave. Rosa is in her bed, probably reading a magazine or something before going to sleep. You sit on the couch with the TV on, dreading going to bed. You look out the window, the faint sounds of the movie drowned out by your own thoughts.

Joel's smirk pops into your mind. His damned smile that sends shivers down your spine every time you think about it. You'd been silently watching him ever since that sleepover. Noticing his shirt rise when he stretched, allowing you to see the top of his underwear poking out from under his pants. Watching him work on things in front of his house as you drove by.

You remember his touch when you kissed. His cold, calloused hands touching you. You imagine what they would feel like wrapped around your c-…

You snap out of your daydream when someone kisses the top of your head. Sitting up straight and adjusting the blanket on your lap, you look behind you and see Bridget standing behind you.

“Are you coming to bed soon?” she asks in a soft tone, wrapping her right arm around you from behind, her left hand caressing your head.

“Later… I'd like to finish this movie,” you answer, touching her arm.

“Okay,” she kisses your temple before pulling her arms away and making her way around the couch to sit on your legs.

“ Would you like to watch it with me... like this?” as she leans in to kiss your lips, you move your head away to continue watching the movie, which only causes her to kiss your neck, her hand slowly making its way to your crotch.

“Bridget, please. I'm... I'm not in the mood for any of this,” you whisper, frowning as you grab her hand, stopping her before she notices you're slightly hard.

A loud sigh leaves her lips, her frustration visible as she gets up to leave.

“Fine,” she says, “I'll go to bed then. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

“Mhm. Good night,” you reply, your eyes never leaving the TV screen.

When you hear the door to your upstairs bedroom close, you can finally return to your daydream. As you look through the illuminated screen in front of you, your mind wanders to touching Joel. Time flies, and soon you realize that it is past 1 am. You turn off the television by pressing the power button on the remote.

Everyone is asleep by now. But you can’t get any rest. You listen to the ticking of the clock on the wall as you sit on the couch, watching the silhouette of the television in the dark. The daydreaming has left you hard and desperate for release. The memory of the outline of Joel's cock makes your pants feel even tighter. It becomes unbearable to just sit there. As your hand reaches for your hard cock through your jeans, you pull the blanket from your lap.

In the darkness of the living room, you make your way to the guest bathroom, suppressing your breathing. You lock the door behind you and turn on the dimmest light inside, so your eyes don't hurt from the sudden brightness.

Your hands quickly unbutton your pants as you look at yourself in the mirror behind the sink. The dim light lets your imagination run wild. Joel's figure appears behind you, his eyes watching you as you pull down your underwear to wrap your other hand around your erection.

As your eyes meet his in the reflection, you feel his hand move up your shirt, his fingers pinching your nipple. You then begin to rub your palm around the tip of your cock, spreading the leaking pre-cum all over it. You pant, almost whimpering, as your hand tugs lightly on a nipple. That same hand emerges from the collar of your shirt and slides a finger into your mouth.

“Lick it, Space Boy. Get it wet for me,” Joel's voice echoes in your head as you lick and suck your own finger, making sure to leave as much saliva on it as possible.

Moving your head to the side, you imagine him planting kisses on your neck, in the exact same places Bridget had kissed only hours before. His hand makes its way down to cup your cheek. A soft, quiet moan escapes your lips as you tighten the grip around your cock, stroking it faster as you insert the finger you've just licked into your anus.

It feels... strange, at first. You've never done anything like this before, but as you continue, you find the spot. Your legs start to shake as you get closer to your orgasm. A gasp leaves your mouth as you drool from the sensation, the pleasure building more and more. To see more of you in the mirror, Joel grabs the hem of your shirt and brings it to your mouth so you can bite the fabric between your teeth to hold it up.

You watch your hand stroke yourself and imagine it as his. His rough, big hand feels amazing as it strokes you, he smiles as he adds another finger inside you, stretching your hole further to fuck you later. Your head spins as his scent hits your senses.

“So good for me. Now come,” Joel's voice echoes in your mind once more. A pitiful, soft moan leaves your lips as your shirt falls over your torso and you bite your lower lip. Your body shakes as you ejaculate into your fist, your cock twitching as you do so.

Out of breath and finally feeling somewhat satisfied, you grab some toilet paper to clean up. Your heart beats like crazy as you clean yourself up. You look at yourself in the mirror. Your reflection is now alone and, frankly, looks a little pathetic with those flushed cheeks.

As soon as you are all cleaned up, you make your way back to the couch and curl up on it, so your feet don't hang off the other side. You never end up joining Bridget in bed that night, falling asleep on the couch.

On Sunday, nothing remarkable happens. You go to church with your family, and Pastor Jorge does what he always does. You'll get your revenge soon enough. With the video footage of them and the divorce papers ready, you somehow feel... calm.

There's also excitement for the upcoming evening... When you finally get to spend the night with Joel. Alone. Away from everything that keeps you up at night.

Monday finally comes. You get ready for work as you typically would. Bridget and Rosa leave at the scheduled time.

Now comes the most important step.

You take the envelope with the divorce papers and pictures out of its hiding place and put it on her nightstand. But you need to write a quick letter to let her know the envelope's contents, so you grab a pen and paper and start writing.

“Dear Bridget,

inside this envelope are the divorce papers and the reason why I want a divorce. I know you've been sleeping with Pastor Jorge. And I know that you're pregnant with his child.

I want you to leave the house by the end of the week. Rosa will stay with me for the time being. We'll settle the custody in court. You can stay with your parents or Pastor Jorge for all I care.

Joel and I will be away for a while. He's helped me through this and he's become a better friend than you ever were.

Don't contact me. — Y/N

P.S. I'm giving Pastor Jorge an envelope with the same pictures.”

You take a deep breath, put the letter on top of the envelope, and leave the house with the second envelope. Inside is a letter to Pastor Jorge, in which you had just written, “What an exemplary Pastor. Making a married woman scream the Lord’s name in vain.”

On your way to work, you stop by the church and drop the envelope in the mailbox. From there you go to work.

Well... Not right away.

You make a pit stop at a special store.

When you get to work, you make sure to mute your phone by holding down the asterisk key until the mute icon appears, and you do the same with the pound key, locking it after.

The work day goes by as usual.

You get more and more excited to see Joel as the hours pass. You didn't forget to prepare a bag for tonight. Everything you need is in it. You stopped by a sex shop to find out what you would need for tonight's activities. The clerk in the store was very helpful and explained everything step by step.

Just in case Bridget would find out in the future, you had made sure to pay cash and talk about your wife, avoiding any mention of another man. It would seem as if you were planning on just trying things out with her until you found out about her affair.

The work day ends.

You walk to your car with a spring in your step. You'd taken the next few days off to be with Joel. One more check of your phone. No missed calls, no new text messages.

You smile to yourself as you pull into Joel's driveway. When your car comes to a stop, you honk your horn. Joel had already been waiting inside. He waves at you before locking the door behind him. With his backpack slung over his shoulder, he opens the passenger door and sits down.

There is a palpable excitement between you two.

He fastens his seat belt and turns to look at you.

“Did you do it?”

“I did,” your eyes light up.

“Has anyone... called yet?” he asks, gripping his seatbelt with one hand.

“Nope.”

“That's good.”

“No, it's great,” a smile spreads across your face.

Joel smiles back, now holding onto his pack, which is resting on his legs.

You start the engine and drive down the road. Joel gives you directions to the motel. Luckily it's not too far away, the whole trip only takes 45 minutes.

Joel gets out of the car first. You follow him, your own pack in hand, into the motel's reception area. It's a rather nice-looking place for a motel. Usual motels have a certain serial killer look to them, but this one was close to being like a hotel. With no stars.

The bell rings as Joel presses the little button at the top. Soon someone comes to the reception and greets you both.

“Hi, Johnny. A single room with two beds, please.”

The key slides into the motel room door. You unlock the door and open it, letting Joel go ahead. You lock the door behind you once you are inside, your eyes studying the room you both will be staying in for a week.

The two beds are large. Big enough for three people to sleep in each one at the same time. The air conditioner is running, but there is no distinct smell in the room.

“Huh, it's not as bad as I thought,” you say as you set your pack down on the floor next to you.

“Told you I knew a good motel. They don't even film their guests here,” he jokes before setting his things on the table and turning on the lamp.

You remain silent and close the blinds in the room. Thinking about last Saturday night, you move closer to him, touch his hand and smile.

His hands rest on your sides and he pulls you in for a quick kiss.

“Joel. I've waited so long to have you all to myself,” you whisper before kissing him again.

“Mm, so have I,” he smirks before pulling away and leaving you standing there,” but first things first, I've got a six pack of beer I need to put in the fridge for later.”

You nod and watch as he pulls a few bottles of water and a six pack of beer out of his backpack. He puts the cans in the mini fridge by the table. After all this, you walk towards each other and stop just inches away.

“Joel. I have to tell you what happened after you left on Saturday. I... I imagined you doing things to me. I had Bridget waiting for me upstairs. She was waiting for me to come and make love to her, but... But I ended up masturbating to the thought of you in the bathroom. Joel. I can't stand it anymore. I need you.”

This comes out of your mouth without warning. You're surprised at how sincere you are.

With slightly parted lips, his wide-open eyes rapidly scan the features of your face, his breath quickening before he pulls you closer, placing a hand on the back of your neck and another on your hip.

“So do I. You can't imagine what I've been dreaming about. Every night like clockwork. You're on your knees, your pretty lips wrapped around my cock. You look so good this way. I... I need you too,” he closes the distance between you, your hands gripping his shirt as he kisses you deeply.

Your knees lose all strength the longer you share this passionate kiss. You press your weight against Joel as he holds you up. When he pulls away, you keep your eyes closed, breathing heavily as you simply embrace him, feeling his warmth penetrate your skin.

Joel sits down in the chair next to the small motel table and you kneel before him, the description of you in his dreams stuck in your mind like a piece of candy stuck to your tooth. His thumb rubs your lower lip as he stares down at you. You look up at him. The pupils of your eyes are blown out in the dim light of the motel room.

“Open up,” his voice is demanding, yet full of need. He's been dreaming about this for weeks, maybe even months. Finally, he has you in front of him, on your knees, horny and wanting him.

You part your lips and close your eyes as he slides his thumb into your mouth, his other hand audibly unzipping his jeans. Your hands grip the armrests of the chair.

When you open your eyes to look at him, he pulls his thumb out of your mouth and holds his cock in front of your lips, the head of it brushing gently against your lips.

Joel looks at you with darkened eyes, his aura a little intimidating when he's aroused. But you just smile before you place a kiss on the tip of his cock, wrapping your pretty lips around it, your tongue circling it. His hand cradles your head as you hold his erection by the base to lick it from base to tip.

This was new to you. But you knew what felt good from previous blowjobs you'd received.

His breath hitches as you try to fit him entirely in your mouth, the head touching your uvula, which makes you gag slightly. You don't take it quite that far when you start to bop your head and close your eyes as you taste his salty pre-cum on your tongue.

The rumble of the room's air conditioning along with Joel's heavy breathing and your sucking are the only sounds present. You aren't looking at him, but you can feel his piercing gaze, watching every little move you make. Your head begins to spin as you continue to suck him off. Your free hand undoes your own pants so you begin to stroke yourself.

“Fuck — Wait, Space Boy... I'm so close-” he moans under his breath, throwing his head back as you carry on, his hand pushing your head further down, sending the tip of his cock straight to the back of your throat. You hold back your gag as he ejaculates down your throat, making sure you swallow it all.

You pull your head back, coughing into your fist as you try to catch your breath. Also out of breath and speechless, Joel looks down at you and holds out his hand for you to take. You grab it and he pulls you up, letting you sit on his lap but spinning you around first.

His sweet kisses on your neck feel unbearably hot. His cold hand finally wraps around your cock, making you gasp. It doesn't feel bad. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you didn't hold back a little, you might just come right away.

“Joel,” his name leaves your lips in the sweetest moan you've ever uttered. You can feel his reaction to it, his body tensing behind you. As he continues to jerk you off, he slides his other hand under your shirt, finally touching your bare skin yet again. His fingers caress your chest, paying particular attention to your nipples.

It tickles a little at first, but soon it turns into pure pleasure. You throw your head back, your hips bucking as your head grows lighter. You're so painfully close. And as your breath catches in your throat, Joel softly bites down on a spot on your neck that he had just kissed. This pushes you over the edge, and your come pours into his hand in hot spurts.

You roll your eyes as you open them, your head resting on Joel's shoulder as he covers your shoulder and neck with sloppy kisses, which tickles a little after all that action. You slowly catch your breath and lift your head to turn and look at him. His eyes are half open before he sees you looking back at him.

You smile.

His face lights up before he kisses you on the lips.

“Was it better than your dreams?” you quietly ask.

He nods, “It was a thousand times better than I could’ve ever imagined.”

But that was just the beginning of a long week together. After all, you'd bought a douche bulb just to make sure you were clean. Once Joel has washed his hands, he leaves the bathroom for your lonesome to get ready. So you grab your bag and lock yourself in for about half an hour, taking your time to clean up. Using some lube, you also make sure to insert a butt plug, just to stretch your hole a little more before things get heated.

After all this time, there's a knock on the door just as you're about to leave the bathroom.

“Space Boy, is everything alright in there?”

You unlock the door and step out, still fully clothed.

“Y-Yeah, I was just preparing... well... you know,” you timidly look down at the floor.

He grabs your jaw and pulls your head up to make eye contact. Your grip on your bag tightens. He’s got a stupid smile plastered on his face.

“No, I don't know. What were you up to in there?” Joel is the devil when he is in a teasing mood.

You frown at him angrily before you stick out your tongue, “Wouldn't you like to know? Kiss me and find out.”

“Oh ho ho. I like that idea,” he smirks before pulling you into a deep kiss. His tongue licks over your lower lip, asking to be let in. You do, as you lead him backwards to one of the two beds, dropping your bag on the floor next to it.

Just as your back hits the mattress, Joel's hands slide under your shirt and pull it off in one swift motion. Your hair is probably a mess by now, but you don't care. With a heated breath, you pull his shirt off as well, touching his shirtless torso with the softest caress imaginable.

He chuckles a little and pulls back, kneeling between your legs and supporting himself on the mattress with his hands.

“That fucking tickles,” his voice breaks into laughter as you begin to tickle him mercilessly. 

You smile and sit up slightly as you continue, teasing him with a playful tone,” Does it now? I'm only scratching you.”

“Ha hahaha please — St — Stop. Stop,” he's already out of breath from laughing, tears are forming in his eyes.

But that ends quickly. He grabs your hands with one hand and pushes them into the mattress above your head, looking down at you with a serious expression on his face.

You blink at the sudden shift in the air. You swallow your saliva in anticipation. Your heart beats loudly in your ears.

His hand slides down your side, undoing your pants as he leans down to kiss you more aggressively than before. It's almost like he's starving. And you're the only thing that can satisfy him.

Or maybe you have somehow managed to piss him off with your tickling. He doesn't let go of your arms and slips his other hand into your pants to touch you as you kiss. You lift your legs to wrap them loosely around him.

He pulls away from the kiss, resting his forehead against yours to breathe.

“Fuck, I need to get you out of these clothes,” he whispers hastily before letting go of your arms and pulling your pants down along with your underwear. You remove the rest of his clothes as well before lying back on the bed and watching him.

He sits down on a towel on the floor and rests your legs on his shoulders as he carefully examines you.

“I see what kept you so long,” he says in a low voice as he gently pulls on the flared base of the butt plug that was sticking out of you.

"M — Mhm... — please get the lube out of my bag,” you groan as he toys with it, barely pulling it out.

“Funny, I also brought some,” he replies before grabbing the bottle from your backpack.

Joel uses the butt plug to stretch you further, carefully watching it go in and out, kissing your inner thigh as he does, getting you to relax even more. He makes sure to put more lube on it from time to time, and soon you're panting and begging him to pull it out and fuck you himself.

“Please, Joel... I can't take it anymore,” you groan, biting your lower lip as you slowly lose your mind.

“Fine, if you're oh so desperate,” he finally pulls it out all the way and lays it on one of the towels he put aside when you were in the bathroom. Still holding your legs on his shoulders, he kneels up and pours some lube on his fingers. He pushes them inside you, spreading the lube around your anus before pouring some more on his cock.

Keeping eye contact with you, he positions himself and holds onto your legs as they begin to slide off his shoulders.

“Tell me if it starts to hurt,” his voice is calm yet full of excitement.

You hold your breath in anticipation and try to relax your body as much as possible, holding on to the sheets as he slowly pushes himself inside you. It doesn't hurt as much as you thought, the foreplay had stretched you enough. There's just a slight discomfort.

Joel does a good job of holding back, going slowly at first, not pushing all the way in until you're used to the feeling. Your breath hitches when he's fully inside, the slight pain shifting to pleasure.

“Fuck... you're so tight, Space Boy,” he exhales, starting to thrust a bit harder as a moan leaves your lips.

You close your eyes, focusing only on what you're feeling. Your brain falls silent, all the haunting thoughts of the past month finally leaving. And then a tsunami of pleasure hits you the moment Joel's cock hits your prostate.

Your back arches as your cock twitches from the overstimulating sensation. When he stops thrusting, you open your eyes to look at him.

“Sorry... did that hurt?” he asks with a frown on his face.

“No — not at all, it felt amazing, please don't stop,” you breathe, reaching for his hands that are still holding your legs.

Joel nods and smiles a little, immediately hitting the same incredible feeling spot as before, causing your eyes to roll back in your head as you moan his name. As the air around you gets hotter, your head starts to spin. You reach for him, wanting to hold on to him.

He adjusts his grip on your legs, holding them at the knee pit as he lifts them further into the air, his thrusts stopping for a moment as he stands up. He then pushes down on your legs, lifting your lower back further off the mattress. You can clearly see his cock fucking you, your own erection twitching as he begins to thrust deeper into you. Your eyebrows furrow.

“Fuck, Joel... I can barely breathe...” you whine, the air being blown out of your lungs every time he pounds into you. Your mind becomes blank as your pleasure builds, your orgasm achingly close. You reach out and grab his head, pulling him down to kiss you as he keeps pounding, his skin now wet with sweat, just like yours.

“I'm so close,” he breathes against your lips before kissing you again. You're barely able to speak anymore, your orgasm washing over you as he rams into you one, two, three more times. You ejaculate all over your chest, your moans muffled by the intense kiss you share with Joel as he also reaches his release inside you.

He keeps you in this pinned down position for a short while, only pulling out after a minute, his breathing, like yours, heavy. He guides your legs down slowly, so the blood doesn't rush into them too quickly, and grabs another towel he brought with him to clean up.

You stare at him with a fucked out look on your face as he wipes the semen from your chest. Your brain having completely left the building, you utter the words, “If you keep fucking me this good, you might get me pregnant...”

Joel bursts out laughing and caresses your cheek before planting a kiss on it. With amusement in his voice, he whispers, “I don't think that's biologically possible, but if that's what you want, I can certainly try”.

After all that, you cuddle up in bed, turn on the TV, and drink a can of beer together. You lay your head on Joel's chest as you watch the show, listening to his heartbeat. Joel kisses the top of your head before taking another sip of his beer.

The next morning you can barely walk, your legs shaking as you struggle to make your way to the bathroom to wash your face, your hands clutching the walls for support. Joel is still asleep in bed. He seems to be a heavy sleeper.

When you're back in bed with him, lying on your stomach, you pull your phone out of your bag. There are several missed calls and text messages from Bridget. She must have been trying to get in touch with you all night long. You decide to wait to check the texts until you're home. A feeling of happiness washes over you.

The week flies by too fast, your honeymoon with Bridget couldn't even compare to the pleasure and love Joel makes you feel.

You drive home the day before Rosa and Sarah arrive, just to make sure that Bridget is really gone and that everything at home is as and where it should be. You park your car in front of Joel's house.

Mrs. Adler walks up to your car and knocks on the window as Joel unbuckles his seat belt. He gets out of the car to greet her, and you join them after closing the door.

The older woman turns to you with a worried look on her face as she clutches her necklace and asks, “Is everything alright at home? We saw Bridget leave with a lot of stuff and haven't seen you boys in a week.”

You press your lips together before answering, “Bridget and I are going our separate ways. We're getting divorced.”

“Oh good Lord, why is that? What happened?” she gasps, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Well, I don't really want to go into too much detail. We haven't talked about it yet, but she hasn't really been honest with me in our marriage, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, you poor thing, I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't believe Bridget would do such a terrible thing. The devil must have seduced her,” she crosses herself and kisses her fingers afterward.

You stifle a chuckle and a sarcastic comment by putting your hand over your mouth and nodding as you close your eyes.

“He'll be fine, Mrs. Adler,” Joel pats you gently on the back and rests his arm on your shoulders before giving your arm a firm squeeze. He continues, shaking you a little, “I made sure to keep him... busy this week. We went to see some sights, traveled around, just to help him keep his sanity.”

You smile nervously, still unsteady on your legs from all the pounding you'd received, and nod in agreement with his statement.

“That’s wonderful… I’m glad you two have become such good friends,” she genuinely smiles and reaches for your arm, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Me too, but look, he needs to get back home, we're both exhausted from the trip.”

“Yeah, I also need to pick up the girls from their trip tomorrow afternoon and tell Rosa about what's going on...” you add, looking down at the floor.

“Oh dear... we'll be here if you need any help. God bless you.”

“God bless you too,” you reply. She waves and heads back home.

Joel lets go of you and walks to the car, grabbing the two backpacks from the backseat.

“Want me to come over with you? For mental support?” he asks as he hands you your bag. You nod, the dread of coming home to a destroyed house sinking into your stomach.

You walk ahead of Joel, grabbing your keys from your pocket. As you walk up the driveway, everything seems in order. The yard looks normal and you don't notice any broken windows.

You unlock the front door and step inside, Joel right behind you.

Everything is where it should be.

Except for a few things that belong to Bridget, of course.

You sigh in relief and walk to the kitchen, noticing an envelope on the table.

It's a letter with your name on it.

You open it slowly, expecting the worst, like pictures of you and Joel kissing.

But there's nothing inside but a handwritten letter.

You take your time to read it.

In a somewhat panicked tone, Bridget begs you not to tell anyone who she cheated with, and apologizes for lying to you. She's sad that you want to divorce her and that you're making Rosa stay with you for now, but she seems to understand.

You sit down in a chair and leave the letter on the table.

Joel places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes them gently to show you that he's there for you.

You smile. A few tears come to your eyes. The woman you lived with and loved for 16 years is gone. But you're not sad about it. You're proud of her for being so understanding. She had left to stay with her parents with all the things she could carry.

[TO PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS X READER MASTERLIST]

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

if you think about it they are literally just a grumpy biker dude and the little weird cat he picked up randomly on the sidewalk asjdhkjl