#is this what a healthy relationship is meant to feel like?

[chryso-poeia]

Being human is simple if you strip away the inhuman systems, the bureacracy, the trauma that the programmed, wounded and misled perpetuate. (Hence kindness or protecting one’s energy). Being human happens without your conscious participation, you could not beat your own heart, digest your food etc. Hence ”human being” and not ”human doing”. Your body orients you, not the programming. Ground yourself, become present, it’s all here right now, the wonder of it. If you really pay attention.

People are either motivated by an avoidance of pain or a seeking of pleasure. Pain is fear, without pain, no pleasure. Without your palm, no dorsum. Everything exists in a complementary relationship to everything else. Night follows day. Everything is a derivative of fear or love. But it all leads back to love, in the end. Spiritually, this is transcendence of duality.

So i believe that, that which causes life to thrive, or a flower to bloom: is love, which is acceptance, which is compassion, which is nourishment, it allows. So i will be kind and playful in my eternal love, nothing else worked. The mind is designed to be as convincing as possible, hence it reaffirms our sense of reality. But there is something called as healthy functioning and coping, not meant as judgement but rather compassion. This can clear your mind.

Here’s a few of the most effective grounding exercises for a traumatized nervous system, that i’ve found:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise.

• Progressive muscle relaxation.

• Breath awareness (esp in highly emotional situations): Allow the breath simply arise, don’t try to control it, just let your attention ride on it, become breathed, like a tree.

• EFT.

Misc:

• Follow your excitement in every situation.

• Think about who you are without all your negative convictions. Instead of thinking that you chose think a thought, observe the feeling is triggers in your body. Feel the fear/anxiety and just breathe deeply. Don’t engage in the mind conversation, just breathe deeply. If you start engaging in the convo again, gently back to the breath. Remember: your mind is convincing for a reason, because a lot of thoughts: require your participation to survive. It can help to repeat:

”This negative response is how my body-mind has been programmed to think it must respond. Because it replays the past, i choose to learn from the past and accept myself, in order to move on. I choose to invite love. So i choose to believe that i don’t have to respond that way. Divine, i don’t know how it’s possible but with your infinite intelligence, all things are possible.”

Spiritual Practice:

• Aum chanting, 16-108 rounds.

• Hare Krishna chanting.

• Tibetan Tummo Yoga. (Very physically intense, somatic effect).

• ”Breath Of Fire” Pranyama, breating exercise (CAUTION: Please research how to do this one correctly, faulty practice can damage your lungs. Hence it’s also therefore incredibly potent.)

• Hoponopono.

Natural Processes:

• Full body crying. (Crying is a mechanism that releases tensions and trauma from the body).

• Ruthlessly honest journaling. Write down everything that has ever happened to you. (ChatGPT can be a wonderful tool here, just temper the amount of detail you provide)

• Exercise, 30min at a minimum, daily walk. Preferably in nature.

-

Above all, whatever we resist, persists. So things like journaling can often be the most cathartic and effective practice, each time. The idea is that if it is not expressed, it is harbored within. But once expressed, it becomes external. At which point, one can notice how there is a separation of ’what happened’ and ’who i am’.

chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.

[puimoo]

The Brucie and Dick relationship.

[Obligatory ‘new to comic canon’ warning, where I use my Tumblr to process all my thoughts!]

While thinking today about the impact that Bruce and Batman have on Dick growing up, I realised there was a third person to consider.

What impact does Brucie have on Dick?

Because Brucie is a big part of the Bruce/Batman/Brucie identity triangle, although he often isn’t really taken into consideration when looking at their overall relationship with Dick.  However, Brucie is who the world in general sees – his colleagues, his ‘friends’, the women he dates and the people he socialises with.  There are articles written about him in the papers, paparazzi snapping his pictures.  Businesses and charities being set up in his name.

The thing is though, once Dick comes along, Brucie isn’t just a solo act.  Now, Bruce has to decide what role Dick plays in the persona.

Brucie is deliberately crafted to send particular messages: he’s not a threat, he’s easy to manipulate, he’s rather stupid and clumsy but well-meaning and incredibly likeable.  Which means that, when they are together in public (or even when Brucie is talking about him without Dick being present), Brucie and Dick are meant to send a message as well.  I can’t see their public relationship not being just as carefully crafted as the Brucie one – if it’s not, it puts the whole Brucie persona at risk.  This isn’t Bruce having a relationship with Dick, after all – it’s Brucie.

I haven’t seen enough of Brucie and Dick together to really formulate something based more deeply in canon, so a couple of thoughts instead about what that message might be intended to be.  Is the message supposed to be that they are a shiny happy family (completely normal, as much as a man and his ward can be)?  From what we know of Brucie, that would mean that Brucie would likely be more openly affectionate when they are together, much more tactile and prouder of Dick than Bruce or Batman would be.

Is the message more supposed to be the scatterbrained playboy who collects things that interests him in a well-meaning way but moves on quickly, meaning Brucie is more likely to be kind but dismissive of Dick and their relationship?

Both versions send a message: one that is we are a normal, functional family (who clearly are not Batman and Robin!), one where the relationship is more superficial and Dick isn’t really quite that important anymore and therefore you shouldn’t worry too much about him/think about him/consider him to heavily connected to Brucie at all (and all the risks that might involve for Dick, Batman and Bruce).

Both serve a protective role and both are deliberately crafted, but neither are necessarily healthy for actual Dick in the long run – especially as this would have all started when Dick was 9-10 years old.  He’s not only having to navigate his own, actual relationship with Bruce (and Batman), but manage a fake version of it as well.  And, while Dick knows that it’s all an act and probably at times finds the whole Brucie situation deeply amusing while being frustrated at other times with how people underestimate Bruce, I could also see how the deliberate choices that Bruce makes about how Brucie and Dick’s relationship is portrayed could have a deeper impact.

After all … Affectionate!Brucie potentially highlights that Bruce chooses not to be like that with him at other times - he’s clearly capable of acting that way but doesn’t necessarily feel that way.  Or, at the very least, it highlights what could have been but isn’t.  Dismissive!Brucie potentially highlights some of Dick’s greatest fears.  

There are also things that Dick could learn just from Brucie away from the Dick and Brucie relationship (you never show your true self to people, even if they are not a threat – they are ALWAYS a threat) that have the potential to shape how he sees the world.

Again, none of these are fully realised thoughts or ideas.  There are also a dozen other variations of the Brucie and Dick relationship that Bruce might have crafted, but I think the thing I am getting at is that Bruce would have crafted something – and that potentially this might have had some impact on Dick.  He grew up with Brucie alongside Batman and Bruce, after all.  I could see young!Dick absolutely leaning into it and loving to play whatever the role was (love the ‘it’s us against the world’ feel), but you get the sense that as he gets older, some realisations might creep in.

Which leads me to my last random thought: are there some versions of the Brucie and Dick relationship where Brucie of all people is actually a better parent than Bruce is (especially later on)?  Brucie – who is generally ridiculed and looked down upon by everyone who knows that he is an act?  Who is meant to represent all the things that Bruce and Batman aren’t so as to throw people off their scent.  Are there versions of the Dick and Brucie relationship where Dick might actually prefer some of those Brucie traits to some of Bruce and Batman's more harsher edges?  

From a purely evil head canon perspective, I kind of like the thought that, out of all the Batkids, Dick is the only one who actually enjoys Brucie at times, because when Affectionate!Brucie is in action he can lean into the warmth of the father-son dynamic without it being complicated or difficult, even if it is just for a short time.  And you know what the kicker would be?  Bruce would probably tell Dick afterwards how well he played the role.

…. I did not intend to have so much to say about this relationship as I did!

[shakti-tiger]

How to be the hero I'm looking for

I've made the decision to delete my Tumblr account. And that's because of a good reason, that I have recently made a bit of a breakthrough on my healing journey and managed to connect with the part of me that was holding a lot of anger and pain about my childhood experiences.

Listening and holding the space and "rescuing" that child (with a kind of therapy called parts work) turned that angry raging part of me into joyful beautiful child who loves me. That wasn't an overnight journey. I'm 54. I started having realisations in my late 20s.

I've been working on stuff sporadically through my 30s and 40s and then more focusedly over the last four years. Somatic work like EMDR and TRE with parts work has made a big difference

So I'm sharing this because I realized I got really triggered by all this stuff with Neil Gaiman at a point when I was going through therapy early on this year and had started watching Good Omens and reading fan fiction and kind of using it is a bit of a prop while I was going through a difficult time.

I think probably a lot of people relate to that who are here. I realised that in some respects, I was experiencing these characters /actors as providers of something that I wanted to feel, something that I wanted to experience, because I was feeling cut off from that part of myself.

And that feeling I needed was love, being supported, kindness, feeling wanted, nurturing, and also a sense of feeling special to someone. And of course, when I was watching something, I don't think about all of that. It's just going on underneath subconsciously. But then, when something happens to it and it's like cut off or something about it changes, then that's painful. Because I've become subtly dependent on it.

As a survivor myself, I felt I simply couldn't continue to connect with the show in the same way once the allegations came out. And also because I've experienced not being heard and not being believed, I found it very triggering to be in the fandom because some people were coping in ways that I experienced as invalidating as a survivor.

So what I've come to realise is that having a healthy relationship with myself means literally that I become my own hero. I don't have to wait for other people or who I admire to stand up for me or say that they support the things I think they ought to support.

By listening to myself, I give myself what I need. I love myself, I embrace myself, I nurture myself, and then my need for other people or even fictional people to provide that becomes reduced.

It's fine to enjoy stuff, but what I felt was my emotional dependency, on either real or fictional people, was something that I realised was bridging a gap between where I was and where I am now.

Authors, creators, and actors make worlds that we can escape into, but they can't create our experience for us.

What I've noticed is that when I put someone on the pedestal I disempower myself whether that's because they are attractive or talented or creative or whatever it's like saying you've got that and I don't and I really have to watch myself with that because I don't want to carry on doing that.

And I think there are lots of heroes on here, all of you, because you know what, you are there for each other, you support each other, you listen to each other, you try and understand, you make time for each other.

Anyway long story short I connected with this child part of me yesterday and said okay what are we doing next and the feeling I have was to let go of the campaigning and the vigilance which meant cancelling a couple of social media accounts and focusing on the things that really build me and strengthen me from the inside which is meditation and spiritual input and other healthy good things.

So now I feel I don't feel the need to be here either from a campaigning perspective or from a fandom perspective.

I wish you were very best, and I will leave this up for about a day before deleting the account.

[dashing-disaster]

"Buck doesn't like basketball but basketball got him Tommy so it's actually a sweet gift" might be the most self centered arrogant take I've ever had to read - and in that, it makes perfect sense that that's the kind of logic Tommy, who constantly condescends and patronizes Buck, would use.

I see how the line can be interpreted that way if one doesn't like the ship, yeah. But it's not how I meant it and I think that comes across well enough in the rest of the post so I'm not too concerned about this.

Now, I wouldn't necessarily call Tommy condescending or patronising as that implies some degree of willfulness and his behaviour towards Buck up to the moment of breaking up is never deliberately unkind.

Quite the opposite, Tommy shows up for Buck, even if he has to go out of his way to do so, he compliments him, he takes care of him when he's hurt and he listens to him. Does he perhaps not always get it and is fondly exasperated? Absolutely. Just like Eddie, as we saw in the Halloween episode. Those two were on the same page about the curse there, but they still indulged Buck because they both love him.

Honestly, after 6 months the occasional eye-roll or 'sure honey' at your partner is a given because that person might be an idiot but they're your idiot.

That's not to say that Tommy isn't still a deeply flawed individual and that is unfortunately reflected in the way he handles conflict. There are two things specifically that form a pattern: Tommy assumes to know what other people (Buck) feel or think or how they will react in a situation and he runs from his problems. Both of those things are a defense mechanism and something people learn to do as a result of trauma.

Now, is it a healthy defense mechanism? Hell no! It's one that I'd advise anyone who detects these patterns in themselves to unpack with a therapist or, if that's not possible, at least be aware of the issues and try to find coping strategies to prevent self-sabotage.

Also let's be real, if it comes to unhealthy coping mechanisms he's found his people at the 118. Everyone at that station has had a go at those at some point I think. And thank God for that otherwise this show would be dreadfully boring.

And that's also where I would have loved to see more of this relationship. I'd have loved for Buck, who still has so little self-worth that he simply accepts it whenever someone leaves him, to fight for this relationship because they're both worth it. And at the same time with Tommy, who apparently would rather blow up a good thing without cause or reason just so he can be the one to control it, I would have loved for him to take that leap of faith and trust Buck.

It could have been a beautiful story about growth. I actually think it still can be, if the TV Gods are willing.

So, long story short, is Tommy arrogant, condescending, and patronising towards Buck? No. But he's not perfect either. He's a three-dimensional character with past trauma, fears, flaws, and many layers that we unfortunately only scratched the surface of.

And it's okay if you see things differently. It's okay if you don't like Tommy and your opinions and feelings about him are perfectly valid, just as mine.

Anyway, thank you for your message, anon, I hope you have a good day.

[harpieisthecarpie]

Thanks for the peer review o7 i will use this power for ramble

I do think that a lot of the fic sex/romance issues were started in a genuine push to not spread misinformation, bc iirc fics used to parrot a lot of common myths re: intercourse (even moreso than now), especially ones about non-"traditional" non-cishet practices. And safety. And anatomy.

Which, it's cool and good to see a push for sex positivity and education! But I do feel there's now a pressure (internal or external) for the sexual aspects of fic to be textbook safe, sane, and consensual in all avenues.

I have 2 main reasons (beyond fic ≠ sex ed) that the squeaky clean route shouldn't be our only route. Which are: characterization, and erotica vs romance.

Firstly, characterization:

Intimacy can be an amazing way to explore characters, a relationship, or even a setting in your story. You can miss out on a lot by treating sex as simply a lesson rather than a tool in your narrative toolbelt!

Tbh I think the reason gen z ppl (like me) often say we "hate sex scenes" in media is bc they feel unnecessarily explicit or unnecessary in general, and we often don't have the language for what the problem is. Or we misattribute the ickiness to sex scenes happening at all!

I'm grayace and they can be boring af, or sometimes creepy as hell for reasons unrelated to the narrative (stop auteur directors now! /hj).

But one of my fave fave fave book series is the Binding Light trilogy by Freya Marske (I think the author's on tumblr actually), in which the sex scenes are narratively pivotal. And I, the sex scene hater, love the series sm I didn't even have to look up the title or author just now!! Unheard of!!!

These books are so dear to me bc the intimate scenes mirror both the (wonderful, superb) magic system AND the characters' relationships! Their sexual vulnerability and connection evolves alongside the characters' development. I've never before rambled about breathplay as a metaphor for trust, but Marske had me writing ESSAYS. My apologies to my friends' DMs

At first I had skipped those sex scenes, but once I had to go back for plot info, actually reading them made me go "oh holy shit this is all important".

I think stories miss that relevence pretty often. You don't NEED to have sex scenes, but also you CAN have them wherever it feels right.

IMO It's important to treat intimacy (of all kinds) in a work as character exploration first, rather than purely mile markers or something for characters (and writers) to "get a good grade in"

Moving on to erotica vs romance:

I've recently been watching a lot of SAVY WRITES BOOKS on youtube, and in one of her CoHo reviews she talked about the difference between works labelled "erotica" and "romance".

To her, romance novels have a sense of realism, they exist in a world that functions (at least adjacently) like ours. A romance would treat consent and safe sex like we do irl (or some historical equivalent based on setting). Basically, characters wouldn't be able to smash in a subway car without getting charged with public indecency.

Thus, if the characters were practicing BDSM, they would on some level acknowledge they're performing a scene (ex. consent check-ins and safewords). Here we have some level of RACK. Or if its unhealthy, there's framing acknowledging that fact!

Whereas erotica exists inside that BDSM scene! An erotic fic that tags its kinks and content correctly has given you enough for you to have informed consent. If you read the fic, you will thus be reading the "fantasy" of a BDSM scene. We know this isn't necessarily realistic or healthy, and that's fine! We read it with the knowledge it's not meant to be!

Uhhhh so. This was a really long way for me to explain "fanfic isn't sex ed so it's fine if they don't always use contraceptive"

tl;dr Intimacy and sex are cool for characterization. And smut is a Scene, if a person is informed of its contents all consent is accounted for :)

author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

[fishermansfoe]

today my coworker was asking abt my bf and was like “oh wow sounds like it’s getting serious” and i was like hmm not really? which is silly bc i do know what Getting Serious means and i have felt relationships become serious in the most literal sense and this on paper is that. but it never feels serious? and i think that’s really awesome. like idk for previous partners Getting Serious has been synonymous with an expectation — this is your person, you owe them x amount of time per week and you are in a Serious Relationship so things are frequently hard and that’s just how it is. it is how it has been.

now, this is just my guy i met his friends on the weekend and we pranked them together. today he decided he wanted to pick me up for a sweet treat so we did that and then i smashed him at board games. he said he needed to rant and i was like that’s chill and it never felt like i was doing intense emotional labour, something i often struggle with. short and sweet. he knows i don’t romantically love him and he’s okay with it. we talk about the characters in tv shows we think are hot together. if i am too in my head he picks me up and squeezes me tight. we make plans last minute and we cancel plans las minute. i keep his favourite snacks in my bedroom. when i am flaring, he stays by his phone so i’m not alone, even if it’s 3am and he’s working the next day. when he needs someone to sit by him so he finishes his assignments i’m there. if we can’t see each other for a while it’s no big deal too. it’s never difficult, not in the way i have come to expect. we don’t owe each other anything but we do things because we care and that’s really great.

[fernlessbastard]

hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl

Yeah no based true real no questions asked

I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)

But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)

[bununuu]

might as well call me #1 shun defender bc that is my SON

[supurman]

clark is not a good liar, but he is great at keeping secrets and can be described as secretive by lois...

[quietwingsinthesky]

there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

[skollwolf]

I know I wrote Blinding back in like 2013 but even to this day my villain origin story is when people comment that they're glad Tony has a happy ending in it

[defiedlife]

meta + dr. ratio cause im self-indulgent jenna

send  [ META ] + a word / phrase / person / etc for a headcanon.

To Aventurine, Ratio is someone he cares for deeply whether it's platonic or romantic. They're colleagues and partners despite working in entirely different departments (and factions, technically) and he wouldn't have it any other way. As risky as his methodology was, one of his proudest achievements to date is forming that partnership. (Quick side note: this is canon; it's in the ANAN interview.)

He's seen many people put Ratio on a pedestal for outstanding academic achievements, and he agrees that those are admirable, to be sure. He's even a little envious, as Ratio clearly had an abundance of opportunity and privilege while growing up where Aventurine himself had little to none. He doesn't blame the good doctor, though; it's no one's fault that they were raised in very different circumstances. That's just fate toying with them both.

However, the value he sees in Ratio and what draws him to the scholar to such an extent is the sheer humanity that he can see with one glance. Ratio's primary philosophy is that knowledge should be shared by and accessible to all, and as someone who grew up without so much as a single book to read, Aventurine admires that desire and generosity immensely. It means a lot to him to know someone whom would readily help tutor and mentor another person in a situation similar to what his younger self experienced.

Ratio's blunt and abrasive personality doesn't matter to him. Sure, it stings at times, but he's heard far worse in the past. Plus, he's experienced first-hand that if Ratio truly crosses a line and gets called on it, a sincere apology will follow—a first, compared to what Aventurine has dealt with before. What really matters is that he looks at Ratio and sees a doctor who seeks to cure ignorance, injury, and illness alike, along with a strong moral code that most in the IPC would sooner scoff at than praise. He sees a man that he admires and trusts—even with his life.

Conversely, this also means that he would gladly protect Ratio with his life without a second thought. In his opinion, the world needs more people like Veritas Ratio.

Their work together on Penacony only served to reinforce his trust. Although Ratio "betrayed" him, that was the plan from the very beginning, which means that Ratio never really betrayed him at all. He counted on Ratio to play a role, and the doctor did so flawlessly. It was impressive—the finest performance Aventurine has ever seen besides his own, and he couldn't be more grateful.

All of the above applies whether platonic or romantic; shipping or not, and whether my Aventurine and any given Ratio muse have interacted before or not.

Now, to address the more romantic side of things with your Ratio specifically—

Aventurine just...wants him to open up more. That's it. That's all he wants. He knows Veritas loves him. He's heard the words said before, and he knows them to be true. The problem is that even though he knows it's true, he still has to stand by and watch Veritas struggle to reconcile with those feelings. It breaks his heart, but he's not going anywhere. If he did, he'd lose the most important person in his life.

He can't risk that for anything in the world, even if the alternative hurts too.

Instead, he just hopes he can get through to Veritas one day. He wants to hear a sincere "I love you" without the assistance of him forcibly (though with consent) lowering Veritas' inhibitions. He will always, always love Veritas to the end of the universe and back, and will always be grateful for everything Veritas has done for him from the first moment they met in the IPC infirmary. But it still hurts.

He can search for the "I love you"s in the little smiles he sees sometimes, or the rare moments that he manages to steal a kiss or hug. He sees it in the way Ratio worries over him and lectures him on being more careful. Such moments are sweet, but needing to search and always pay attention to the finer details every single time is tiring. Whenever he hits a low point mentally, it's enough to make him second-guess whether or not Veritas' feelings are even real.

The minimal affection (or denial of it entirely) and non-committal attitude are soul-crushing when he's so desperate to be loved, and he doesn't know what more he can do to change that. He knows they can trust each other, and his life will always be safe in Veritas' hands. He just wants his heart to feel safe too, and he keeps wondering if that's too much to ask.

[musical-chick-13]

I'm the LAST person to suggest that you have to preface every single comment you make about a character/fictional relationship/etc. you like with a reminder that you Know™ it's pRoBLeMaTiC, but I DO question what the point of acting genuinely for real like there were no problems is.

[emeryleewho]

2 things for people who unironically think relationships like these are bad:

"emotional labor" refers to an added burden people take on *in the workplace* and "trauma dumping" refers to putting heavy emotions on other people *during inappropriate times*. Your partner coming to you and sharing their feelings and expecting you to be emotionally supportive is literally neither of these things. That is literally the basis of a normal and healthy relationship. If you don't like these things, you don't want a relationship.

Literally no relationship is going to be perfect. Literally no person is going to be perfect. When we talk about red or yellow flags, when we talk about toxic behaviors, when we talk about signs of abuse, these are not meant to be taken in isolation. Literally every person and every relationship has things in it that are bad and that, coupled with other behaviors, would read as red flags or toxic behaviors or potentially abusive, but these things are not catastrophic on their own. The whole point is that if these things are consistent or extreme or impossible to work through, than that is a SIGN that something is wrong. The point is NOT that any relationship that has any of these things is one that needs to be avoided at all costs. Severing all of your relationships after someone does an bad thing makes YOU the problem. Individual bad behaviors does not make a person an abuser or manipulator or whatever buzz word the internet is running with this week. It is unhealthy *patterns* that are a problem, and if you're only open to being around people who are always perfect and never do anything that can be seen as harmful, then you are not looking to grow with a person or understand them or love them. You want an idealized projection of a person that will never exist, and you putting those expectations on other people is the *real* toxic behavior.

I think that in real life…. Relationships r like . Your partner WILL ‘trauma dump’ on you. You will have to perform ‘emotional labor’ for your partner. Your partner will make mistakes. You will also do all of these things. The very nature of love is irrational and problematic and difficult …. To expect a relationship to be free of these things is strange to me…. The point is that your relationship to that person is ultimately worth it, and worth growing with them, helping each other, seeing the worst parts of another person and being able to love them anyway

[triple-starsss]

(barring the details lol,) i really like that shadow was adopted and "normal" actually! it really gives us the non-fantasy perspective of being able to focus on the ethics of his childhood ^-^

cus like. can you imagine the f*cking headlines and shit if any of that stuff is publicized (since he's an idol now)?

"Gerald adopted an orphan to run crazy tests on him!!!" "how could anyone do that to him? ;;;;;" "(insert smth about doxing Gerald) (scandal)"

people would go wild, i think! in both good and bad ways lol (the fun part)! :D

LMAOO THE DOXXING

but yeah!! when you take out all the 'ultimate lifeform' stuff and see what Shadow went through on a more grounded level - its insanely fucked up!! I felt as though without those experiences, i'd be writing an entirely different character so i wanted to incorporate them in a way that felt believable in this universe absdjf

[original-punks]

why must some people insist on talking to me verbally like ????? my brain needs to see n read or else I get overwhelmed???