#is this not how it happened

[whimsicallywiddershins]

Hoid, wandering around Roshar for whatever reason.

Random Person: "Oh yeah, those crazy Lighteyes. They have a person who's job it is to just sit around and insult all the nobles. It's illegal to kill him, but he sure gets assassinated a lot."

Hoid: ...

Hoid: "My time has come."

[lucidheart3]

All Might (texting) : Tsukauchi, a kid saw my true form.He is a fanboy. What do I do

Tsukauchi: Idk play dad

All Might: OK

Tsukauchi: *dead

Tsukauchi : Wait no

Tsukauchi: Yagi wait

Tsuakuchi: Yagi

All Might: He is my successor now.

[to-the-western-wood]

(during pc)

trumpkin: you look like a child

edmund: you look like a bitch

[notemily]

Mal: Hey Alina remember when I said you were my true north

Alina: Yeah, why?

Mal: Well, I lost my tracking powers, and it turns out I can't find North anymore

Alina: Like... Metaphorically?

Mal: Literally.

Alina: Oh, good.

Mal: But... also metaphorically.

Alina: Oh.

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[ladychlo]

Motaz Azaiza interviewed by Ajstream after fleeing Gaza, please do watch the whole interview...

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the thing about Professor Utonium is he didn't accidentally create 3 daughters, he purposely created 3 daughters who accidentally have superpowers. the sugar, spice, and everything nice was intentional, only Chemical X was an accident

this guy became a girl dad on purpose and I am so proud of him for achieving his dream!

[redstonedust]

i appreciate the attempts a lot of game devs are making with gender neutral character creation, and i appreciate that it's actually a very difficult task to implement that depending on the game's base code. but it's so funny to me when you hear an uproar because some game has "entirely removed the gender option from character creation!!!!!" so you go to check it out and its just like

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[unforth]

Actually I love voting for the lesser evil. It's less evil. I support that whole heartedly.

[gert-the-disaster]

does anyone understand my curse

[baristabomb]

...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh

it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|

[draconym]

NYC subway as a flooded cave system and all the rats evolving in isolation like devil's hole pupfish

[kensatou]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[1-800-dreamgirl]

this is what everyone has been saying!! no one is looking at celebrities for political statements, but they should and must use their platform to amplify the voices of those who need and most importantly be against this genocide!!

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

funniest news blurb i've ever seen actually. "there was a plot to kill trump last weekend. no not that one. totally different one. we figured out about it beforehand though so we heightened security at the rally. yeah that rally. yeah the one where-- yeah. yeah that one."