#is this bc of my metas this morning?

[hergan416]

You realize you're intelligent as fuck?

Fdhdsjjshdd I've been sitting here all day trying to figure out what to say to this lolol

I've landed on: "That doesn't make me happy at all, you idiot!" a la Tony Tony Chopper.

(Translation for people not into One Piece: I am very happy, and extremely awkward about accepting complements)

[bloominglegumes]

i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

[aardvaark]

expanding on that post about sophie devereaux backstories, grift ones and real ones and the things in between:

a year or two after they meet, tara and sophie are somewhere near drunk in a hotel room after a con, high heels thrown against the wall, dresses unzipped and halfway off. tara asks for her Story. the Story. and maybe she wouldn’t have asked if she were sober or maybe tara is simply a little too bloody brave sometimes, a little too determined.

so sophie tells her about a father in the military, a mother who died young, a family that moved houses, towns, regions, countries, all the time growing up. about lying to impress kids at every new school. about desperately doing almost anything to fit in for the months or year she’d stay in that area. about sweet talking her way out of a few little crimes here and there, cash that she would certainly never steal from her rich friends’ parents’ wallets, some driving rules she broke when she was too young to even have a license, yet old enough for a cop to encourage her flirting. sophie tells tara that her father died when she was 19, and the grief had led to recklessness. she made a mistake on a too-ballsy grift. she would’ve gone to jail. instead, she faked her death (for the first of many times) and never looked back. it’s the only funeral of hers that she didn’t attend.

and then, tara told her an equally untrue Story in return.

when sophie is duchess charlotte prentiss, her husband william asks far too many questions about her past. of course, charlotte has a Story. all of her aliases have Stories, even the ones she only uses for a day - they all have birthdays, childhood pets, first kisses, people they love. so she tells him that her parents died in a car crash when she was 16 and instead of going into the foster system, the authorities figured she was old enough to become an emancipated minor. she tells him how it was difficult at times, incredible at others, and sad and exciting and embarrassing and bittersweet. she weaves a damn good tale about charlottes life, if she may say so herself - one that’s just painful enough for william to stop asking questions. it works perfectly. but when she tucks astrid into bed that night, and the little girl looks up at her with big round eyes and asks if ‘charlotte’ misses her mummy and daddy and says that she’s sad for ‘charlotte’ because she knows what it’s like to miss a mama… sophie freezes. there’s a lump in her throat and goosebumps on her skin. she blinks down the tears and recovers just enough to fake a smile and kiss astrid’s forehead as she leaves the room. lying has never hurt like this before. it takes all her strength to shut it down, shove the emotions in some tiny box in her head that she simply refuses to acknowledge. she decides, then, that she has to leave this house as soon as possible.

the charlotte Story is one of many that hardison finds. it’s inevitable, when he has to cover all their tracks so thoroughly, that hardison would stumble upon various old aliases. he only learns about the charlotte one from the job in england - there’s no links between her and sophie, but he destroys a decent amount of excess duchess charlotte prentiss information just in case, and then looks for any other mysterious women who happened to pop up or vanish around that time. he notices that there are some things that all of sophie’s aliases share: their parents are dead, they have no siblings, and their life changed dramatically somehow in their mid-to-late teens (usually with those parents’ deaths, or gaining an inheritance, or moving far away). he knows that these are all pretty standard, convenient details for a fake identity. but he wonders, sometimes. couldn’t she have made up dead siblings? estranged but alive parents? a dramatic event in her early childhood or in her twenties? he doesn’t know if the consistent parts mean anything. he doesn’t ask for her Story - not outright, at least. though for the first couple months of knowing her, he does sometimes enquire about little things here and there. did she grow up with sisters, what was her high school like - that sort of stuff. information is his thing, sue him! sometimes sophie just smiles. sometimes she answers, and he eventually learns that her truths, at least, are very much relative. when he decides that she is family - which is pretty early on, to be honest - he also decides not to ask anymore. he destroys old aliases when necessary, but he never reads more than he has to. he loves sophie and that is enough.

eliot never asks anything about her life. not even the innocent, casual, unthinking questions that sophie is used to from other people: where’d you grow up? did you ever have any pets? i always had to share a room with my sister, what about you? eliot clearly avoids asking her any of it. she’s somewhat surprised by that. sure, he’s polite, but he’s also suspicious both by nature and due to certain unfortunate experiences, so she sort of expected him to interrogate her when they first met.

one night, they’re the last two left at nate’s apartment. even nate had gone to bed and left them there, long given up on shooing his team out at appropriate times. sophie’s been drinking tea and flipping through a latvian phrase book to refresh her memory for tomorrow’s grift, and apparently that 90-minute-a-day sleep schedule allows for eliot to be doing one-handed push ups in the living room at this ungodly hour. too tired to retain any more information, sophie studies eliot instead. he’s a straightforward guy. she decides to be straightforward too. she breaks the silence of the apartment and simply asks - is he ever curious about her Story? eliot pauses a moment. looks her in the eye, quiet. doesn’t brush her off gruffly like she thought he might. instead, he asks if she’s ever curious about What He’s Done. that is answer enough for the both of them. they don’t talk for the rest of the night, each going back to their own activities, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. on the contrary - the mutual understanding ends up solidifying their relationship.

nate isn’t always so intensely careful about his questions like eliot. well, actually, there were many times back in his insurance days that he very much did ask her questions on purpose. and of course, for five years, he asks after her real name. sophie generally thinks of it as a fun game. she smiles at his useless determination and teases him when he comes back from jail. after a while, though, she realizes that the questions about her Story mostly stopped when leverage formed, and stop completely once he proposed. nate never hears any version of her Story. she’s here now, and that’s all he needs or wants to know - just like how sophie is her real name in any way that matters.

the moment that sophie realizes this is the moment she stops caring about the real Story, the burden of the secret and the guilt and shame of keeping it from her newfound family. in that moment, she understands that what happened back then is just a small drop in the ocean, irrelevant to the life she’s built and come to love. she never tells them the story, and she never needs to.

[your--isgayrights]

Seeing your answered ask about metas makes me want to share this list someone made about ORV’s literary references: https://twitter.com/Jomeimei421/status/1806147303004336632

I think this same person also said something about ORV being a blend of low-brow fiction and high-brow literature and I agree. I would like to see a legitimate academic paper referencing or breaking down ORV, and now that I think about it, maybe this has already happened and I just don’t know how to find something like that.

This list is honestly such a great resource, thanks for sharing :)))) <3333

I would add the samguk yusa and samguk sagi to this list tho, even though the references might count as 'myths' or an oral tradition that's the nature of the older historical texts. I think I have a couple breakdowns of the references to the Samguk yusa, a post about ljh's name and the historical ancestors referenced, and some stuff about JttW.

In the concept of high brow and low brow, I agree that ORV is very good at being like very respectful of anything that is a 'story' and I think good at portraying the sort of 'character' that some genres or reading types represent. I think one of my posts is definitely about how the KDJ relationship with his mom is very representative of the sort of evolution of webnovel culture out of classical literature and trauma literature scenes in the sort of 'professional,' established Korean publishing. Also as a Naruto guy I really respect the JttW arc for being like 'hey all middle grade action stories and shounen a little bit comes from JttW tbh.' I also think the premise of ORV is great as sort of the natural conclusion to like American gods or Rick Riordan type justifications for all religions being true bc people believe them: ok, then here's also one man's favorite anime boy being real because he believes in him and he's actually going to punch God now. Oh also a literary reference I guess is that metatron and etc are from the Talmud rabbinic scriptures. Though I think myths about him are mostly from kabbala / oral tradition (which stems from Judaism but even now there are Jewish people who think it's very wrong to call them Jewish beliefs. Part of that is probably that in more modern history kabbala has partially been developed and sort of appropriated by non-jewish people in a way that is kind of similar to orientalizing / mysticizing the more 'normal' Judaic beliefs practiced by wider Jewish communities ((think tiktokkers who are like I Am a Witch doinG Qabala but actually she's basically just writing creepypasta in her brain about things other people actually believe in that she knows nothing about)). At the same time, there is kabbala that naturally developed from people Jewish faith in the same way orphism or other 'occult' beliefs developed out of governmentally/societally enforced/accepted Greek and Roman religions throughout history. Fun fact: Sefer ha-bahir is apparently an influential text in the development of og kabbala and apparently literally describes the idea of transmigration so that is fun.)

Ok besides the historical stuff the media on the list I'm actually exposed to is just Han Kang and then Naruto (I watched some of one piece in middle school but retained very little of it tbh I just know who some of the guys are. Actually I just had a dream where I complimented a guy's one piece shirt and then he asked me if I liked the anime and I had to be like oh... No).

I did some research on YSA's reading 'taste' though and I think it's very fitting because they're realistic books with "literary value" that are like very relevant to society but obscure enough that you wouldn't make up reading them just to impress someone, unlike Han Myungoh claiming 'art of war' is his fave book (that's another lit reference in there somewhere I think? I just remember finding it fitting... It's the type of fit for business men who want to seem macho and smart but actually don't enjoy reading at all... I would say if they said three kingdoms was their favorite I would at least believe they read it or saw an adaptation but like art of war just isn't really a Story it's more like self help? Like there are stories but they're showing 'lessons' about war lol.)

[freeuselandonorris]

could we get a snippet of the oscar getting fisted fic please?! 👀❤️

hi anon!! of course, since you asked so nicely 😘 thank you for asking!

sneak preview under the cut

“At least see how many fingers you can get in,” Oscar says later, once Lando’s brain has rebooted post-orgasm. “I bet you could do four, easy.”

Lando makes a sounds fake but okay face and considers his right hand. Long fingers, big knuckles, but bunched together they’re probably not much different to his dick. It’s the rest of it that he thinks will pose a problem.

“God,” he says cheerfully, stretching to grab the lube. “You are such a dick-hungry slut.”

Oscar does one of his pantomimed laughs, bringing his knees up since he can’t collapse forward when he’s lying on the bed. What an idiot, Lando thinks, with an appalling sort of internal swoon.

“Yeah,” Oscar says as he shucks off his boxers and rolls onto his belly, looking back at Lando. “I’ve been really lucky to have a more experienced teammate as a mentor. Taught me everything he knows.”

[greghatecrimes]

midnight brainrot… i am thinking about wilson. about when he tells house during “the c-word” that he always thought he’d have a wife and kids around him when he was dying. about how he probably wanted that— or at least he thought he did— for a while. about how, if he had gotten that, he probably would have ended up feeling like he didn’t deserve to be a father. like he shouldn’t be a father. he pays three alimonies because no matter what, he ends up ‘ruining’ every relationship he puts time and feelings into. he carries guilt and blame for how danny ended up because he was ‘too selfish’ to answer the phone instead of studying for an exam. he probably spends the rest of his life haunted by the question, “am i my brother’s keeper?”. he IS truly haunted by that little eight year old cancer patient who was supposed to survive, but didn’t. he’s an oncologist. he is supposed to help people, to ‘save’ them. and yet he spends his time off the clock ruining his relationships with the people he loves most, and then spends his working hours trying to atone for it somehow with his patients. any child of his… i think that wilson would, selfishly, want to at least try forming a bond. maybe it could be his second chance. another way to atone for his mistakes with danny, with julie or sam or bonnie. but i think that he would also know deep down and without a doubt that eventually, he would just ruin them, too.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

>.>

[marsbotz]

i had a dream i had a beautiful loving friendship with gus fring to match the one where i was besties with mike. im so broken take me BACK!!!!!

[coquelicoq]

I just want you to know that I so deeply cherish all your untamed and murderbot (and raksura) thoughts that I started reading ORV just so I can get MORE of your fandom thoughts. I wanna be able to understand your new posts!!

this is so sweet 😭 thank you i'm flattered!! there are some really fabulous posts in this fandom, so i'm excited for you to experience them! my own posts are fairly shallow because i haven't done a reread and the story is so long i already can't remember most of it haha, but the fandom seems pretty active on here so it's gonna be a while before i run out of other people's fanart and meta to reblog. standard disclaimer that you read orv at your own risk and i will not be held responsible for any feelings you may or may not experience in the course thereof. godspeed <3

[homeless202]

the first time EY "stole" those headphones, the shop owner didn't have any proof it was him. despite this, he insisted on calling his dad, proposed to call the cops, and showed very little sympathy for a child literally getting beaten up by their father right in front of him.

-> why?

he felt disrespected bc of how EY talked to him. it stopped being abt the headphones before his dad even arrived. he just wanted to see the kid who disrespected him shut up, apologize, and admit he was wrong. especially considering how many people were watching and talking abt their argument -> gotta save face and restore your credibility & pride.

this is why, in a way, his dad wasn't wrong to tell him to apologize bc he knew that's what the shop owner wanted to hear. sometimes, the quickest way to solve the issue is to give the person what they want (in this case, an apology) and walk away.

[sevnthhart-a]

knock knock, it's me, local menace, and i am here to pose a meta question : what does make tifa happy? what does genuinely spark joy to her? any comfort books, food dishes, drinks, snacks, series, books, music? or would you think that tifa is so absorbed with everything that she hardly makes time to find these things for herself?

blu ,  local menace ,  my beloved. thank you for indulging my brainrot xoxo

i. first off, some background as to how i see her mental state / default emotional response because it plays such a heavy part in understanding my thought process on this. to put it frankly, her feelings run deep. this isn't exclusive to the joyful ones, but the more intense outbursts of sadness, anger, etc. as well. while it may not be intentional, everyone close to her  ( or even just in general )  has the power to break her heart or heal it. that isn't to say she's fragile  ( quite the opposite ;  canon content has put her through so much ,  i'm genuinely in awe of how she's able to withstand it all )  or a crybaby about it  ( because i've seen it been said ). the more ill aligning feelings are just so heavily suppressed that it just ends up spiling out bit by bit before it happens to manifest itself into a full blown breakdown. as for the happier ones, she has no need to hold those in. it shows up in a variety of ways — it isn't difficult to make her happy, either. her heart bores so much resemblance to her mother's, so i don't find it hard to believe that she would be grateful for the little things people say or do for her out of kindness as opposed to actions done because of her looks.  ( side note :  the parallels between thea & tifa are so ashjdfsj i love the lockhart girlies with my entire being ) 

ii. music makes her happy. while i don't think she's a diehard fan of any particular artist, i can see her being a casual listener of instrumentals or just anything that can be softly played in the background while she's working solo. bonus points if it's piano heavy! i say that for obvious reasons, but i like to think it reminds her of home & simpler times. it's a bit odd but having the news on in the background  ( think that one ac scene )  is also something she enjoys. when zangan first dropped her off in an unknown city with little to nothing, having the news on low made it feel like she wasn't so alone. obviously, along came people she could call family, but people gloss over the fact that she felt so very isolated during this time. on quiet days, depending on her mood, she'll pick one over the other & just get to work. it's a good reminder of everything's she gained since then.

iii. i don't see her as a big drinker but, she will indulge herself when the occasion calls for it. she reserves it for special times  ( excluding when she's taste testing new menu options ;  that's work & she'll often pull for a second opinion )  with friends. i read somewhere that her, barret, & cloud will get together every so often to reminisce about old times & drink to the happy ones  ( have no idea if this has been confirmed canon or if anyone else was involved ,  but i just adore the idea & fully implement it into my interp because i'm a whore for found family ). in moments like that, where she isn't questioning her strength or pondering what ifs, that she's on cloud nine — because this is her home & it's every bit as dear to her as nibelheim was. i'm not talking about edge or any other location, but the people in her life. they are so very precious to her & she will drink to that.

iv. i do wanna mention that it isn't rare she'll seek these interactions out whenever things start to take a toll on her. this goes back to my first point, but i see it as her method of coping. cloud has his ways, tifa has hers. she wants to continue being seen as a figurehead of stability by the people closest to her heart ;  all so they feel comfortable relying on her when they're the ones in need  ( her redemption from situations that weren't her fault ). by suppressing those unwanted feelings quietly, she's able to move forward  ( albeit ,  with a heavy heart ,  but a heart nonetheless )  & resolve whatever issue is at hand. so i don't necessarily believe she gets so absorbed with everything that she doesn't have time. if it's urgent & she can feel things slipping, she'll do her best to make time for it. 

v. all in all, there are many ways to make tifa loml lockhart happy ;  but quality time & music are the top two i wanted to elaborate on.

[holygroundgone]

Flower of Carnage: A Jun Kurosu (Joker) Playlist

(link to the spotify playlist, though without final instrumental)

Parade - Susumu Hirasawa

“ Minor depressions are pranks, rose colour is low priced, Therefore, rejoice – to the extent you can hardly bear

I cannot write the word ‘ignorance’, but the future is low-priced Laugh that this is in general a superstition. A story of karma

Minor theories are nonsense, pleasure is low-priced, On no account you should reflect, for it is too late See, giving an off-smell, eating your shadow A parade of fear is coming, under your name See, it can cover everything around, your shadow produces it – The parade of insanity is coming, under your name”

It’s a great way to start this playlist, immediately giving a strong impression for the masquerade under Joker’s hands- the future, pleasure and rose-tinted views of both are all cheap when you can call Joker- it’s only a phone call away.

The concept for this playlist as a whole is entering from the outside into the masked circle, an outside perspective on who the mysterious dream-granting figure Joker is, then sliding slowly into the horror of the masked circle, then sliding irrevocably into the eldritch horror of being Jun Kurosu as Joker.

The rest of the lyrics here hint towards the uncontrollable downwards/upwards spiral Jun is launching into as things continue to escalate further and further, rumors becoming reality, rumors becoming Jun Kurosu himself and obscuring him and his original intentions.

The parade is coming, and Jun is neither willing nor able to stop it, only able to bring it forth.

The Turn of a Friendly Card (part 1) - The Alan Parsons Project

“There are unsmiling faces and bright plastic chains And a wheel in perpetual motion And they follow the races and pay out the gains With no show of an outward emotion And they think it will make their lives easier For God knows up till now it's been hard”

The song starts with reference to Joker’s supplicants, the masquerade, the hapless dreamers who call him to fix their lives.  They think having their desires granted will make things easier- even Jun thinks this, initially. There’s even a reference to the Wheel of Fortune, Jun’s arcana- it’s poetry.

“But the game never ends when your whole world depends On the turn of a friendly card”

Joker himself, of course. Beautiful like an angel, your dearest friend who would grant you your truest desire (or at least the one you can come up with).

Human Convention - The Reign of Kindo

“Never before was a moment a moment And never again will there be such an omen Time's an illusion, a human convention Like watches and weekdays Just another invention

-We're splitting the atoms But still we're connected

It seems I caught you in a bind Why don’t I help you to unwind From all the cares of your troubled mind”

We’re still on Joker akin to an angel, Joker the fairy godmother. Moving things along, putting plans into motion, granting wishes and dreams like it’s nothing. Jun is someone who seeks forward progress wherever he is- crafting patents, desiring a greater future for everyone. We’ll get back to this theme in a few songs, but it’s important how even under the throes of an eldritch changeling father, Jun still moves according to his own conviction, as twisted by circumstance as it is. He wants to make things better. The watch imagery is a nice touch.

“You know we're always right on time Can't find a reason or a rhyme For changing up the paradigm Waking from a slumber of fools Following rules, folly to the tune A miserable company Oh, can't you see It’s time to break the spell that you’ve been under”

The final line here is an irony. When you think of the life Jun must’ve been living, getting into fights, living under his mother’s thumb, alone, festering- his transformation into Joker would feel like waking up from a spell... Only to fall under yet another, more compelling enchantment.

You’re At The Party - Lemon Demon

This song is the great turning point between outside and inside in regards to the Masked Circle and Joker himself.

“Hour hand's gone from two to three, now four You've barely slept all night, all the noise and lights and party songs next door are too much They make you sweat, half-awake, soaking wet Fever dream, people screaming bloody murder”

Continuing on from an outside perspective from the felicity of a figure who grants you your wishes when called to the slow dawning horror of a masked cult arising within your city. The fervor turns to a fever pitch.

“Someone, something takes your hand You don't understand, you can't understand it Eyes shut tight, never open up (Too late) You've been invited (Too late) You're at the party“

Joker takes your hand and inducts you into this world of madness. Now that you’ve had your dreams granted there’s no escaping- you’re already immersed. It’s too late. You have no idea what this is ramping up into. You no longer have control.

“(Too late) You are the party (Wake up) You are the nuisance (Too late) You're not alone (Wake up) It's not a nightmare (Too late) You are delightful (Wake up) You're not alone (Too late) You've been invited (Wake up) You're at the party”

Here is where we enter Jun’s perspective. He is the party, he is the masquerade, he is the masked circle, he is delightful (angelic), he’s not alone, surrounded by his supplicants, accompanied... by his Father. The inertia of the situation is speeding up yet further- it’s not a nightmare: This was Planned.

“ And you notice that the Sun's not rising and the birds are dead There's only dust on the floor where people were before And the dream won't leave your head, it won't leave“

And the Parade marches ever further onward.

“Hour hand's gone and now you're feeling strange Now your hands grow strong, your fingers long and your face, your face begins to change You're mesmerized, you want to cover up your eyes But they're already shut so tight A whisper in your ear Only you can hear, only you can hear it“

Jun, Joker, is rapidly spinning out of control. Nyarlathotep in his Father, Nyarlathotep as his persona, corrupting him beyond recognition, rumor itself becoming the fabric of his person. A lot of people know that original game plans included having a rumor you could spread that would change this specific boss, a demonic Joker transformation and an angelic Joker transformation.

I think it’s meaningful that they landed on Joker as angel. Echoing Maya’s own preoccupation with angels, reflecting Jun’s intentions- kindness, goodness, forward progress, but also reflecting how susceptible he was to Fatherly influence. There is so much more meaning and inertia in angelhood versus demonhood to Jun’s character.

Dark Necessities - Red Hot Chili Peppers

“Comin' on to the light of day, we got Many moons that are deep at play so I Keep an eye on the shadow smile to see what it has to say You and I both know, everything must go away

Ah, what do you say?”

Many quick references here, the sway of the planets, of the moon, the smile of the shadows- it’s a lot of imagery that just works. This is deeper into Jun/Joker’s psyche, and his imploring changes too. This is Jun’s call to his masked executives- this is his call, especially to Anna- Everything must go away. Desperation for a better future turns to biting knowledge that the only path forward is Xibalba, is evolution, is Idealian.

“Spinnin' knot that is on my heart is like a Bit of light in a touch of dark, you got

Sneak attack from the zodiac but I see your fire spark”

And yet there is still a piece of Jun that ties knots in his soul. There is one light that shines far too bright in his eyes. The star of Leo.

“ You don't know my mind, you don't know my kind Dark necessities are part of my design and Tell the world that I'm falling from the sky“

But Jun knows he must continue onwards. What has become necessary for forward movement, for the good of humanity- is Dark. Grasping for ideal energy, leaving shadowmen in his wake- it’s unfortunate, and all of this is spinning rapidly out of his control, but-

It’s what Father wanted.

Dark necessities are part of his design.

Hell To Your Doorstep - Frank Wildhorn and Jack Murphy (Count of Monte Cristo)

Here we directly slide into Jun’s darker yet darker machinations. As Joker, he is called by an old friend...

“ The world is a place where the villains wear a smile on their face While they take what you can never replace Stolen moments gone forever “

From Joker’s perspective, from Jun’s perspective, from the twisted, Father-gnarled memories, from the false reflections he saw within Mt.Iwato’s pools... Tatsuya, Lisa and Eikichi stole Everything. They stole Maya’s future, they stole Jun’s hope for a better future, his childhood innocence, his wellbeing, his freedom from trauma and pain and resentment and anger. This of course, is not the truth of the matter, but it’s the only thing Jun sees. And as miserable as it is, it’s also an easier pill to swallow; Jun couldn’t have had a part in Maya’s “death”, could he have? No- as painful as this is, it’s easier. Having a clear enemy... It’s easier.

“I will carry hell to your doorstep; I will make you pay You will reap the hate you've sown on my judgment day Sleepless nights and days of damnation Soon and evermore

And love is a lie swearing that no matter what it won't die

Disappearing like a star in the sky In the hot light of morning“

The reality of the matter has faded away, leaving only vengeful rage on Jun’s part- love is a lie, boyhood crushes turning as bitter as poison. They were supposed to be the same, like a boy and his shadow, two knights for the princess, two who would never succumb to the drudgeries and soullessness of adulthood. And yet he killed her.

“I have a nice show that will tempt you onward And just when you're sure that the prize is yours

I'll deliver hell to your doorstep dressed in rich facade

Then, I'll burn you to the ground like an angry god Once you're in my shining cathedral heed the tolling bell It's the final sound you hear as you descend to hell“

Joker is succumbing to further delusions of grandeur, imagining himself as a vengeful angel, making right what was so wrong before. When our hapless trio calls Joker, enticed by his show, seeking an answer to the strange occurrences, to the strange pounding of memories haunting their every step, they’ve fallen directly into his hands.

My Time - Bo En

I was reconsidering including this song (I’m not the biggest fan of omori) but the atmosphere is just right- the imagery of dreams, voices inside his head, falling yet further into the dream, the hands of time...

“Oyasumi, oyasumi Close your eyes and you'll leave this dream Oyasumi, oyasumi I know that it's hard to do“

It’s getting harder to leave this dream, this delusion.

“Hands (hands!) Of time will wring my neck Every little moment spells regret But I don't have to feel this way As a voice inside my head”

A part of Jun still wonders, deep inside, underneath the pall of rumors, of dreams, of Father- is what he is doing wrong?

And a voice answers back- “You don’t have to feel this way.” Stay within the dream. Stay within the delusion. Don’t wake up. They killed her. You must get your retribution. You must lead humanity to the future.

“If it cannot break its egg's shell, a chick will die without being born. We are the chick. The world is our egg. If we don't crack the world's shell, we will die without being born. Smash the world's shell!” -Touga Kiryu, Utena

Phantom of the Opera - A. Lloyd Webber

“ [CHRISTINE] In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came That voice which calls to me and speaks my name And do I dream again? For now I find The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside my mind“

Theatricality peels away- the voice behind Jun, behind Joker... Nyarlathotep himself.

“ [PHANTOM] Sing once again with me, our strange duet My power over you grows stronger yet And though you turn from me to glance behind The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside your mind

[CHRISTINE] Those who have seen your face Draw back in fear I am the mask you wear [PHANTOM] It's me they hear... [BOTH] Your/My spirit and my/your voice In one combined The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside my/your mind“

As his Father, as his Persona, as the mask that he wears, the duet of Joker and Nyarlathotep raises in volume, playing loud over the doubts and fears of Jun Kurosu. Joker is the angel of Nyarlathotep’s designs, executing his will, bringing humanity’s eternal chess game to a decisive end- Jun is the pawn-as-queen to bring it all to heel.

Little Dark Age - MGMT

“Forgiving who you are for what you stand to gain Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away When you get out of bed, don't end up stranded Horrified with each stone On the stage, my little dark age”

Joker is Jun’s ‘little dark age’, inescapable, his mask upon the state. The Wheel of Fortune can represent the hands of chance, the turn of the card, cycles, fate, change- and when reversed, it can represent helplessness, a lack of control. Like a supplicant tied to the wheel, Jun no longer has any control over what is happening.

“Picking through the cards, knowing what's nearby The carvings on the face say they find it hard And the engine's failed again, all limits of disguise The humor's not the same, coming from denial

I grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange You know that if it hides, it doesn't go away If you/I get out of bed, you'll see me standing All alone, open-eyed/All alone, horrified Burn the page, my little dark age/On the stage, my little dark age”

Jun’s reflections on his grief don’t sound right. There’s no hiding that will stop what he has set in motion. No amount of denial can make the regrets and the second guesses go away. The only thing this solitary part inside of him can do is beg for it to all go away. For you, the protagonist of this story, to look away from the stage. To turn the page, to burn it. Make it all go away.

Memories Of A Girl I Haven't Met - Celldweller

“In this lonely place Bathed in silence And thoughts of you I can't see your face But I'm trying To envision you So are you really out there?Are you awake with memories Of a boy you haven't met yet Who's wished upon the Pleiades?”

She’s dead, isn’t she? Tatsuya killed her.

So who, exactly, is Maya Amano?

Leland Street - Guilt Machine

(“My only star is dead and my star-spangled lute bears the black sun of melancholy”)

“This is not how you planned it Not the life you had in mind Winding days have spiraled into years And the past is long resigned Serenade the shade and shadow Cry a tune for days gone by Scream a song for all you lost along the way And the one you left behind

-Dream a song for all you lost along the way And the one you'll never find ”

All that Jun has left is this- grief, regrets, screams for that love and light of life he tasted for such a short time. Jun’s will, Jun’s mind is weak. Joker is stronger.

Neechan (I’d rather use this than big sis btw) is gone. The one he left behind, the one he’ll never find. She’s dead. She’s never coming back. Her beautiful dreams, her beautiful mind, lost forever. The fact that she’s gone forever is why he must be Joker, why the only dream he has left is his Father’s. Jun cannot know love nor light anymore.

(“They sometimes say that it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all, but sometimes I wonder if that is true.”)

(“People do not believe in the truth. They believe that it is good to think that there is a truth.”)

The Darkest Star - Depeche Mode

“Oh, you sad one Playing the angel Isn't so easy where you're from Oh, you wild one Devil's companion You won't stay satisfied for long”

It isn’t easy to play the angel. It’s hard to be satisfied when the one whispering in your ear has his own motives.

“Oh, you dark one Eternal outsider Caught in the spider's web you've spun Oh, you blind one Gentle and kind one Seeing the world as a loaded gun“

With all of these songs I link together, I feel as if I build a combined language of symbols and words and meanings- there is less to speak of when I feel as if the songs begin to speak for themselves. There’s only so much “jun no longer has control over the events he has set in motion, he can’t see straight, he can only see the world as material for his father’s machinations, he is being consumed by rumors as they overtake his identity and his ego” I can go on about.

Histrionic - Kikuo

“Now, let's play with you, with you, with you With which masks shall we deceive today's guests? Lies, brilliant as if burning Scorching the inside of my head Floating, leaping, haah...

Ah Let's put on a show of sadness We'll entice you in with glimmering tears Ah, I am but a lonely pierrot For once dawn breaks on this enchanting night I'll never see you again“

As he is entrapped further and further by his actions originally made with true intentions, now being forced to stand propped up on the stage, a lonely pierrot, a pale mockery of the boy he once was...

“Ah Even so, I will continue my journey Me (boku), Myself (watashi), and I (ore) still have so much to lose How many more masks and affectations? If something is not pleasing to the eye There is nowhere it can ever belong “

That little quavering candlelight of Jun’s remaining id is realizing- with what he’s done, with every mask he’s worn, every step he’s taken... No matter what the truth is, he can no longer access it. No longer take it all back. There is nowhere for him but the stage. No identity but Joker. No persona, no soul, no shadow but Nyarlathotep.

“For it seems that 'I' am going to die! Each mask drives my own self further into madness Ah, I am just a hollow SOMETHING! Because though dawn may break on this enchanting night Though dusk may fall, though dawn may break I'll never understand! “

In the Valley of the Dying Sun/Son - House of Heroes

“In the valley of the dying sun I walk a crooked path alone I came across the shadow of a man With an angel's breath "Oh, boy," he said to me "I see your future Though you long for peace The sword is your father."”

It’s an interesting question- at what point did Jun no longer have a choice? Nyarlathotep’s machinations were there as early as when rumors twisted Tatsuya Sudou, as early as Akinari Kashihara’s (the true father) hapless death. There came a time when delusion must’ve overtaken memory, a vision of a world where Jun Kurosu still has a Father, where Jun Kurosu did not lock Neechan in the shrine.

“I'm thinking of you I'm thinking of you when I/you kill a good man To keep myself/yourself from being killed by him I'm thinking of you I'm thinking of you when I/you hold your girl And wonder if she'll ever love again I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of you Wash the blood off my/your hands I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of you“

Here is where we slip into a duet- the twin perspectives, the boy and his shadow, the sun and the darkest star... This is the turning point.

“I howled at the moon like a wolf in the night You want to finish it We're gonna finish it right And then I felt it with a chill up my spine There are no words to use that truly describe The glory of the angel or the terror in me Tonight will be my ending or tonight my new beginning”

Joker can no longer accept defeat- he can no longer think for himself. And the voice keeps whispering...

This is the descent of the angel.

As his limbs twist and golden wings burst from his back, the transformation painful and uncontrollable, Joker takes on his final form.

“All through the night I wrestled the angel To undo the curse That's burdened me all of my life And for the first time I could see That God was not my enemy I'm thinking of you (for the first time I can see) I'm thinking of you I'm thinking of you (That God was not my enemy) I'm thinking of you

Like pieces of the sun Our light burns on and on and on Like stars in the night sky we shine I'm living to shine on I'm living to shine on I'm living to shine on I'm living to shine on I'm living to shine on I'm living to shine on”

This song, finally, is no longer just Jun’s song, no longer Joker’s song. Tatsuya’s refrain breaks through the shadows like sun breaking through clouds.

ningyoutachi/dolls - Ootsuki Kenji

“ the will of god bring death to the world let it be known by none a deceit fabricated by the hands of an angel the doll that was sent wearing an innocent smile it knocks on the door knock knock knock knock i can let you in but you haven't a heart what's hopeless is hopeless too bad, what a pity “

A reflection on the nature of Joker’s existence- a doll. An offering. A mere pawn on the chess board, placed there to win a bet, to bring death to the world.

Jun’s innocent sin, led astray... A doll that no longer has a heart, a doll that is hopeless, unwanted as it no longer serves its purpose.

“the end of the world a snowstorm of poisonous bugs you and i are small bugs alike so hey before we disappear for good let's play for a while let's play tag and run around in circles”

Now in a childlike voice-

The remnants of his psyche are a crying child.

“the doll that was presented as a gift listens to whatever it's told ready to buy anybody's excuses i want to open the door for you but there's a raging white storm outside no one is alive knock knock knock knock the inorganic doll all the time in a businesslike manner it knocks on the door knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, and it broke“

Shiawase wa Tsumi no Nioi/Happiness is the Smell of Sin - Takahashi Youko

We come upon our final song with lyrics- a final thesis to this playlist.

“What is the dream? We have the dream now What is the dream? We make the dream come true

When I was young, I simply believed that if I waited, my dream would come true. Making a wish to the light flowing from the sky, I smiled while weaving the present. Then I came to realize, that even if I wait, my dream will not come true. Kind people are burdened with nothing but sadness, being hidden/buried in the darkness called memories.”

Laying out Jun’s journey from child to love to heartbreak to betrayal to Joker- with the information he has been given, his path to this horrible result was paved with good intentions.

“ The smell of sin that oozed out Why can't I live my life without coveting anyone? Shards of warped lies While dreaming of a brilliant tomorrow, I count the sleepless nights.”

Despite everything, despite the lies, despite the anger, the hatred, the thirst for vengeance, despite his sins... Despite it all, Jun’s heart never forgot Tatsuya or the others.

About Face - Ryukishi07 (Umineko)

And despite everything he’s done, their hearts never forgot his.

[r1poutmygvtz]

guys be disappointed in me, i ate so much last night after i posted my wieiad (technically this morning since it was after midnight tho so that's not effected, i just say last night bc i did it before going to bed)

i feel so gross omfg but i guess i'll count it as a meta day since i desperately needed one

[frownyalfred]

hi!

thinking of superbat hours in my brain today and i'm on the topic of secret relationship superbat, because this is the most comedic-potential and angst-potential iteration for them. but i'm thinking of comedic potential version rn

(also side note - when you made a post on the kissing for immunity thing you said that you were ignoring the angsty implications (or smth like that about angst) and i genuinely cannot comprehend anything being angsty in that scenario??? what were you thinking of for that)

anyway, back to my thing. i'm thinking maybe clark speeds over to gotham at night sometimes to sleep with (both euphisimistically & not, bcs bruce needs all the sleep he can get and clark being the only one to be able to keep him safe while he sleeps is my jam), and leaves in the morning before anyone knows (ofc, alfred knows and idk if superbat would know alfred knows, but he would approve).

one morning, after clark's left, bruce wakes up sick - feverish, sore, headachy, nauseous, tired, the whole gamut - and being the idiot he is he simply. goes about his day. maybe he takes some tylenol or something but he definitely isn't a good example of what to do when unwell. and he almost goes out for patrol, with damian, but his heart rate spikes dangerously while he's suiting up and clark hears this (he is very attuned to bruce's heart even from cities away) and his Bruce Is Being Stupid Again senses go up (it's the spidey sense but bruce) and he speeds there immediately.

he finds bruce about to put on his gloves and cowl and is like "no, absolutely not" and stops bruce, who ofc gets annoyed and says smth like "no metas in gotham" and clark, trying to get him to stop, v tenderly brushes his hair out of his face and gently holds him and coaxes him into sitting down and resting, "babe, no, please"-ing him out of costume into regular human clothes, and giving him kisses (for immunity of course!) and calming bruce down.

he's going to drop bruce back to his/their bedroom when he realises that damian's seen them kiss so he thinks "oh, shit" but damian's more concerned for his seemingly-infallible dad being so sick. the next morning alfred wakes clark up for breakfast and thanks him for keeping bruce safe in a way alfred has never been able to. dadfred supremacy (dilf).

have a great friday today! idk if you work weekends but if you don't - have a good time off! if you do, have an easy day at work :)

oh I loved this!! thank you for sending it. as for the angsty microbiome post. I was thinking more about ways that having an alien microbe inside of you could make Bruce sick, or cause irreparable damage from an immune response. Or maybe change Bruce into some sort of Kryptonian/Human hybrid, but not a stable one. Or simply give him abilities or longevity that would change him beyond his comfort level.

[lewis-winters]

I am so ready I look like a dog waiting for its owner to get the leash off so they can Jesus-walk on a pond to catch that motherfucking squirrel. Hit me with it

This whole shebang is in reference to this quote from Biggest Brother!!

Anyway, I personally think!!!! that maybe Dick was a little miffed that Lewis came back all riddled with trauma and actively suffering the effects of PTSD when Dick was excited to tell him that he got demoted to a position he'd be happier in!! One that'll give him a reason to be with Dick all the time!! And if we're operating on the logic that they're together in the romantic sense... then Lew being Battalion S3 and hanging around Nix would be less suspicious than if he were still Regiment S2, ya know? To Dick, Nix's demotion is cause for celebration! So why does he wield it like a weapon later on in the scene?

Let's back track a little bit. Dick is a little possessive, is the thing. We keep saying that Nix wants to be around Dick all the time, when the opposite is also very true! Dick wants Nix with him all the time!! He says it in Bastogne, when Nix got the ticket back home; "How will your leaving help me?" He never complains that Nix is always around on the front lines, ergo neglecting duties up at Regiment or Battalion. He WANTS Nix around. He wants this so much, in fact, that some times he can't quite see past it. Which is kind of the case with that scene in the beginning of episode 9.

I mean look at the way he comes into the room-- he's no where in the house when Nix enters. Must mean he comes running the second he finds out Nix is back. He sees Nix, fails to read the room, and immediately launches into a joke ("You dog! making combat jumps with the 17th while I'm in supply briefings all morning!"). He's eating a fucking pastry while Nix is having his 10th existential crisis in a week. He's so relaxed and so playful in that moment. He's not Major Winters, there's nobody here he needs to perform for-- HE'S TALKING WITH HIS MOUTH FULL AND HIS JACKET IS UNBUTTONED LIKE--

the man was HAPPY to see Nix back and came bounding over like a puppy to see him, and he just... didn't read the fucking room like. RICHARD.

RICHARD PLEASE I know you're fucking blind when it comes to Lewis Nixon but c'mon, now. C'mon. That man is fighting for his LIFE and you're just happy to see him, like. I--

And then he reacts badly when Nix doesn't meet his energy. I've written about it before... it's somewhere in my #bob meta tag, you'll just have to dig bc I'm too lazy to go get it but like. Dick is also very depressed here and ALSO suffering from PTSD, he's just repressing it really well (also unhealthy). And like, yeah he's happy to see Nix, but it's the kind of happy that's like... he's grasping on to the nearest life saver to pull him out of the darkness. Nix is that life saver... but what happens when that life saver is also compromised? Some people get frustrated, they lash out. Or they shut down. Dick did both, and it's... well. You already know how I feel about that, lol.

Anyway. Yeah. HAHAHAHAHA that's it.